#struggling shouldn't have to be part of the trans experience

[icedroppedinparasolcider]

Momoi Airi is a Trans Woman

This is headcanon at the end of the day and there's nothing wrong with disagreeing, but the way she's written regarding her sense of identity as an idol, the choice of phrasing they use when she talks about herself in reference to others (namely Shizuku), and the connections her visual motifs provide to concepts and other characters tied to or commonly seen as trans just makes it incredibly hard for me to view her otherwise.

A lot of what I have to say is very personal to me; I'm a trans woman myself, and Airi's writing and experiences connect with me and my own transition journey in a way I haven't really seen anywhere else in media (I'm not a very prolific media consumer). So it's entirely possible a lot of this is just me projecting onto a character I care a lot about. But while I've adored Airi before this revelation, I didn't reach the level of attachment I have for her until the realisation of just how well she's written through the lens of a trans girl. Specifically one who's, for the most part, entirely socially transitioned but keeping the fact she is trans secret.

When Airi was little, she was, as she herself describes, very boyish. She'd get into physical fights with boys around the neighbourhood or at school, she'd come home most days covered in dirt and mud from playing with her majority boy friend group of the time. She was intensely defensive of her little sister, most of her fights being with possibly bigger-than-her boys because they were mean to her sister. It formed a reputation for Airi, a reputation that followed her as she began to deviate from these patterns and pivot her interests and activities hard and fast thanks to starting to watch idols on TV. She was enamoured with them, would rewatch recordings of their performances and interviews over and over so she could emulate it and be more like them. She'd stop getting into fights, stop playing with her rougher friends; everything started changing dramatically thanks to her being introduced to a new "type" of woman: an idol. Something Airi wanted to become, and was willing to change everything about her to be.

These changes weren't socially easy for her, though, with backlash coming from these old friends and classmates because of how girly she was trying to become. The idea of being a tomboy was something Airi started to consider a bad thing, a gross thing. During her Colourful Festival side-story, To You Who Yearns To Be an Idol, amidst a conversation with her younger self Airi calls the little girl a tomboy, something that makes the younger Airi immediately deflate and shy away from the conversation. It upset her to be called that, especially by an idol, something she wants to become. Which leads to the younger Airi talking about how she's been treated by her peers for changing the way she dresses and not playing the same way she used to, for changing the way she talks, with her being talked to like she's doing something horrible and wrong for simply chasing a dream of who she wants to be. And in this conversation, Airi says a particular line that changed everything for me:

This is said in response to Little Airi's repeating of what the boys in her class call her as she wears cuter, girly clothes. That she's some big, mean monster who shouldn't wear things like that, who could never become an idol. Effectively telling her that she could never be a girl because of the way she used to behave. She started as someone rough, someone harsh and dirty, that's not something she should—not something she could—change. Something we see in present day that she's largely internalised through her struggles with what it means to be an idol, her struggles with calling herself an idol.

For Airi, being an Idol and being a Girl have become synonymous with each other. Her ability to be an idol, to draw that attention, have a smile that sparkles on stage and in front of the camera, spread hope and joy to other people; this part of her identity has grown beyond her job, it's who she is as an individual. Being Momoi Airi, the second year Miyajo student, is inseparable from Momoi Airi, the ex-QT member and now member of MORE MORE JUMP! And if she can't be the image of an idol that exists in her head, that she's always viewed idols to be, that Haruka and Shizuku manage to embody, that Minori is becoming, then can Airi even really call herself as much of a person, of a woman, as them?

Airi's been in this constant uphill battle where she believes she doesn't sparkle as much as the other idols around her, so she puts more effort into learning how to make herself sparkle, but manages to convince herself that because she struggles with this, she's less of an idol than those very peers. It's in large part what Ice Drop is about, Airi's difficulty finding satisfaction with her work as an idol because it doesn't shape up to her own expectations and beliefs of what an idol "should be", because it doesn't match what she sees other idols she looks up to, like Shizuku, doing. Something also portrayed during Airi's conversation with Shizuku in Chasing the Radiance Beyond the Blue Sky, where she outright tells Shizuku that because she doesn't have the same physical appeal she has to fight harder and use different strategies to get any attention as an idol. And if Shizuku is the "perfect idol", and Airi will never be able to achieve that, can she even call herself an idol?

If she can't call herself an idol, does she even deserve to call herself a girl? Or are the harsh words of her grade school classmates right about whether she should be wearing the cutesy clothes?

A large part of Airi's struggle with this, why it's even a spiral in the first place, ties into her nature as a Solid Heart student as well as why I see so much of myself and my transfemme journey in Airi's story. It doesn't matter how many people tell you that you're enough and that you've done what you set out to do, not if every thought in your head is telling you they're wrong. According to everyone I know, I pass really well as a girl. My voice is naturally feminine, even without masking it very hard, I've basically never been misgendered since growing my hair out by strangers looking at me, I've even been told by close friends that they'll forget I'm trans because I'm just "one of the girls" to so many of them. And I appreciate all of it, so much; I'm very lucky to have had such a smooth social transition. But none of that changes who I see in the mirror, who I hear when I talk, what I feel when I wake up in the morning forced to acknowledge my body. I'll never be a "real girl", not until I fix these things, and it's entirely possible that it's impossible to truly get rid of this feeling.

That's what Airi feels regarding her identity as an idol. Everyone in the world could tell her how good an idol she is, how much hope she spread as Happy Everyday, how beautiful and bright her smile is. But that will never replace or fully mask the doubt in the back of her head about whether she's really an idol, because nothing that she used to do aligns with what she's always seen idols to be, so much of what she does today is so different from the reality of her dreams. She's not that idol, so is she even an idol at all? I'm not that girl, so am I even a girl at all? Obviously I am, and obviously she is, but it's a feeling of doubt that never goes away.

Airi needs to constantly be an idol, or she's not an idol at all. And, at least to me, this has come to mean to Airi that if she's not an idol, she's not a girl. Because all of the work she put into being cute and girly was to be an idol. If she can't accomplish that, does she even deserve to be a girl at all? Or is she just a fraud wearing a mask trying to make people laugh on TV?

#pjsk #project sekai #airi momoi #character analysis #transgender #i have so much more to say #but it's getting late and this feels like a good stopping point #i'll probably add more when she invades my brain again #momoi airi......

[the-sun-is-evil]

im neither cis or trans, but a secret third thing

#gender is a social construct #thank you very much #but srsly #im not cis #but the word trans doesn't rly feel right??? #mostly because im nb #and dont rly get gender dysphoria #it just doesn't feel right #because i dont struggle like trans ppl do #but at the same time #struggling shouldn't have to be part of the trans experience #my feelings on this are rly complicated #this should be a post #not just tags #but im too tired to write anything cohesive rn #trans #nonbinary

[genderqueerdykes]

the reason intersex people need to be visible and at the forefront of every queer's activism is because we are completely devoid of autonomy when it comes to identifying ourselves. no matter how hard we try to speak up on how we are treated, how we are dehumanized, how we are refused our right to say who we are, it falls through the cracks because of how many people continue to diminish our issues, and espouse intersexist beliefs.

when i speak up about being transfemme, and a trans girl, it's not because i'm trying to step on people's toes or speak about something i don't understand. i speak up about it because this is the life i've lived. it doesn't matter if strangers see me this way or not, this is how i've been my entire life. whether or not someone knows i was technically born AMAB and then had my gender "corrected" shouldn't matter.

trans people do not only come in binary sexes- just like gender, physical sex is also not a binary. i am an intersex trans girl , even if my agab didn't stay AMAB forever. I would be an intersex trans girl regardless of whether or not they assigned me male at birth, because my experience with womanhood and femininity is that they've always been held away from me, way farther than it would ever be possible for me to reach.

i've had to take estrogen & progesterone HRT in the past in order to "correct" my masculine features in order to look like and be a girl "correctly". the subject of my body and my gender has never been something i've been able to control. my whole live i've just been told that i'm a girl wrong, and that i need to "Fix" it.

boyhood or manhood weren't options either, that was held away from me with a 10 foot pole as well. i've had to transition into gender, itself, because i was forbidden to be a boy or a girl. i was always too sensitive or soft to be a real boy. gender as a concept has been a source of control and degredation for me. i had to transition into both manhood and womanhood in order to have control over how i identify. even now when i talk about manhood and being a man, people tell me that i'm not a trans man because of how i look. i'm routinely denied manhood, I "have" to be a trans woman only to some.

due to my intersex condition, i'm a trans man and a trans woman, transfemme and transmasc, but people struggle to accept this. there's no reason for people to give me hell about these parts of myself, and yet people still do. intersex awareness matters because we fight to be seen as the people we are. we struggle to have our identities be addressed correctly. we are in the same fight as trans individuals, and we owe it to intersex trans men, women, and people to help people understand that trans folks come in all different types of bodies, and that biological sex is not a binary, either.

we have to fight for each other's autonomy. for all of us. together we are stronger, louder, and braver.

#intersex #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #transfemme #transfeminine #transfem #trans girl #trans woman #trans lady #nonbinary #trans #transgender #enby #genderqueer #about us #transmasculine #ftm #trans man #our writing

[wordwovencackle]

I never felt so uncomfortable about the voices of other bisexual people until trans rights activists, the majority of whom are bisexual, have become so comfortably homophobic.

There have always been bad apples. But now, when lesbians aren't even allowed their own spaces to talk about being solely attracted to the same sex, I've frequently felt sick to my stomach. There is no reason why those can't exist alongside a shared space for homosexuals and bisexuals, but here we are! I see many bisexuals who are so deprived of talking about their same-sex attraction, experiences, struggles and joy that they are desperate to connect with openly homosexuals but homosexuals are rightfully wary of risking what little they have left. There are barely any lesbian spaces in real life or online left!

I'm sick of bisexuals dictating what homosexuals should or shouldn't be attracted to and yes, I'm also pointing at trans rights activists for being insanely homophobic and going too far by spewing conversion therapy rhetoric like saying someone's sex doesn't matter during sex, or going stealth until clothes come off and traumatising or triggering the other, or lying to trans people in general that their "masculinity" or "feminity" changes their sex or that they can change their sex through surgery, which trickled down to calling homosexuals transphobic at the drop of a hat.

Since when do homosexuals owe you affirmation? Since when do you feel entitled to their spaces? Why did the majority of bisexuals see this happen and just shrug because they aren't monosexual and thus not the target?

"Genital fetishists," are you all daft? A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs. The attraction towards genitals is intrinsic to sexuality and sexual attraction. I feel like I'm perpetually talking to first graders.

I'm so disgusted with the online bisexual "community" for blindly nodding their heads like spineless, "no infighting please" puppies. Do you think none of this matters? How safe must your life be to not care about others?

As a bisexual, what occurred that made you think you could comment on the experience of monosexuals? And I'm well aware many call themselves "gay," or "lesbian," while being bisexual. If you have a vagina and you would have sex with someone with a penis, you're not a lesbian. If you have a penis and you would have sex with someone with a vagina, you're not gay. If neither of you have the same genitalia, it's not homosexuality.

"Labels don't matter," was for those who weren't sexually awakened and were figuring themselves out. But this is what it has led to: the utter deterioration of homosexual spaces, and it's vile and there should be a lot more shame about it.

I'm glad that in personal relations and daily life, the connection between bisexuals and homosexuals is a bit better. But the physical gay and lesbian spaces we were once proud of are now paradoxically wary of homosexuals for fear of being called transphobic.

And I'm also blaming bisexuals for not being critical. For prioritising fetishes and kinks before sexuality. For not listening to the experiences of people with a sexuality different from their own varied, but not exhaustive, experiences. I'm blaming bisexuals for not standing up for homosexuals.

I'm not ashamed of being bisexual. I've never been ashamed of it and I never will be. I'll post this post and continue like normal - and isn't that a privilege?

I will always love other bisexuals who aren't homophobic. There are plently, but there should be more. And louder.

#bisexual #bisexuality #bisexual community #lgb #cotton ceiling #bisexual homophobia #woke homophobia #lgbt #modern homophobia #to non-homophobic bisexuals: “this is a positivity post to you all ily”

[mineshaftss]

I love being trans so much. I don't like gender dysphoria but it's not my fault I experience it. It's apart of me and maybe that's okay. I love getting my gender affirmed and being seen as a guy. I'm starting to think I shouldn't care about the people who see me as a girl because maybe the way they see me doesn't actually matter. Being trans is such a unique experience, I love that I get to be this way. Even if they're times I wish I didn't have this extra struggle, I know I'm only putting myself through more pain by trying to repress this part of me.

#transgender #trans positivity #trans stuff #transguy #ftm #trans man #queer stuff #lgbtqia #lgbt+ #mineshaftss talks

[autolenaphilia]

I'm happy the transunity blog is mostly dead or inactive. Because it and the theory it peddled was terrible.

Unity in this context was essentially a demand for ideological conformity. And that was to avoid critical scrutiny for the ideology it peddled. A large part of its argument was that all trans people experience misandry, even trans women because we are called men sometimes, and that's why we should feel solidarity with each other. The problem is that misandry is not real, i criticized the transunity blog post about it here. If it was real, cis men would be affected

And the very concept is anti-feminist, as it makes it impossible to talk about patriarchy and male privilege if men somehow experience oppression due to their gender, something I discussed previously here. Trans men experience oppression, but it's due to transphobia and not because men as a class are oppressed. We live in a patriarchy which means men are actually privileged for being men. And claiming transfems experiences of oppression is due to misandry is in itself transmisogyny and misgendering. It is a way of counting transfems as part of the class of men, but instead of arguing we thus have male privilege as terfs do, it makes an outright antifeminist argument that it makes us oppressed.

It's in itself a very offensive argument to transfems, and thus a shitty basis for trans community solidarity. Yet any criticisms transfems had of "transunitism" were seen by proponents as divisive, as undermining solidarity between trans people. The call for "unity" and "solidarity" (entirely divorced from real world organizing and activism too) became a way of dismissing any critical thought. The rhetoric made disagreeing with a transmisogynistic and outright anti-transfeminist ideology cobbled together online an act of community treason. The dismissing of criticism as "divisive" is of course an old one, used by men against all feminists for ages, and against antiracism and disbility rights activism as well. It presumes some kind of pre-existing unity and homogeneity that the critical thinker and activist is disrupting unnecessarily. It's a denial of the differences and divisons that already exist. As Umberto Eco said,"The critical spirit makes distinctions."

I do believe in trans solidarity. And you don't need to make up some new form of theory or analysis to justify such solidarity. It's called transphobia theory. All trans people have a shared interest in fighting transphobia. It's a shared oppression.

For example, the majority of us suffer from denial of healthcare. Many US states are moving towards banning it all together, especially for those under 18, but it's expanding into bans on adult care as well.. The ban on under 18 trans people is also the case in Sweden where I live, and for adults it's gatekept in a way that leads to years-long waiting times.

It's not exactly equal, some trans people don't feel a need for medical transition, and there are meaningful class differences. Wealthier trans people can pay their past medical gatekeeping, and afford procedures other trans people can't. Or access can depend on luck or circumstance in other ways. In Sweden, waiting times are actually growing longer, so someone who applies now will wait longer than those who applied earlier. We shouldn't deny these differences in access.

Yet fighting for healthcare access is a vital goal we can work together for, across many of our differences. My right to bodily autonomy and to transition as a transfem is fundamentally the same as the right for transmascs to bodily autonomy and transition. This means we can cooperate in the struggle for bodily autonomy and healthcare access, because we share an experience of oppression and we all serve to gain from it.

And that same analysis is valid for many struggles against transphobia. We have a shared right as trans people to not be discriminated against and recognized as the gender we are, so we can work together against transphobic discrimination.

We have to recognize the meaningful differences that exist in our community, such as those based on class differences, race, and being TME/TMA. It's not divisive to do so, because those divisions already exist, and fighting against oppression is the only way to end differences in privilege. Denying them only makes divisions worse. And there is no need for acknowledging these differences and fighting oppression within our community to hold back community solidarity in the struggle against transphobia.

#my writings #transunity #transphobia #transmisogyny

[hush-writes-preg]

i’ve been wanting to say this for a while, and im still not sure i’m gonna say it right, but i really appreciate your blog. i’ve been having issues with my ovaries for a while and it’s still not clear if i’m fertile or even gonna get to Keep my ovaries much longer. it’s been really stressful, because i really want to be able to get pregnant, and i might never be able to. but one of the worst parts is that i’m transmasc, and a lot of people- including my own family- can’t wrap their heads around being a man and wanting to be pregnant. even other transmascs seem to think i can’t actually be trans and genuinely want this. people pity me cus they think Society is what made me feel this way, and they have to “help” by convincing me this is something i don’t actually want.

you and all your followers have been the opposite of that. seeing so many other transmascs who openly (and sometimes desperately) want to experience pregnancy has made me feel like so much less of an other. seeing people who aren’t transmasc but have transmasc friends/partners being so encouraging and supportive when this is something they want has felt so validating. it’s such a positive and welcoming environment here, and it’s so comforting.

so i guess the main takeaway is everyone should keep being horny, because there’s at least one person who really appreciates it.

Hey there, Aster! Thanks for hopping into my inbox with your kind words! 💖

I've said it before, and I'll continue saying it long into the future for old and new followers alike-- this blog exists because I believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to feel appreciated, validated, and seen in regard to this kink. I don't care what parts anyone was born with, what parts anyone has now, or what anyone's age(18+)/gender/sexuality is. Anyone can feel the desire to be pregnant or to impregnate someone else, and that feeling should be celebrated.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble with your original plumbing, Aster, and that you aren't sure if you'll be able to conceive. That's a really shitty situation to be in when you actually want to get pregnant. I've known a few people on Tumblr who are in similar health-related situations, and I just wish I could give all of you a big hug (if it's wanted). It's really not fair. The universe is pretty shit for allowing that to happen in the first place. But you're not alone, okay? I don't know how much comfort that offers you, but there are folks out there who commiserate, understand what you're struggling with, and hope that you'll be able to eventually find happiness regardless of what happens.

And yeah... family and society can suck big time sometimes. OFC you can't be male and want to carry a child, right? /s In my opinion, those people are nothing more than gatekeepers who have no business being involved in your body and business. The knowledge that these kinds of opinions are so commonplace really pisses me off. The desire to procreate is a ridiculously ordinary (though not universal) part of being human, so why shouldn't anyone be allowed to use the parts they have to make a baby if they want to? Or be allowed to find other reasonable ways to make it happen? :throws-table.gif:

Ugh. I'll get off of my soapbox now.

All that said, if the space I'm nurturing and the community we're all building is one of support, encouragement, and affirmation, then that's a dream fulfilled for me. We may be stuck feeling like an Other elsewhere thanks to societal stupidity, but not here. Here we're all as incredible and sexy and fertile as we wish to be, and I refuse to hear otherwise.

You're awesome, Aster. Try to stay positive, do what you can to take care of your troublesome bits, and love yourself the way you are. And if you ever need to vent about this stuff, my DMs are open, okay?

I adore all of you horny, breedable fuckers. 💖 Don't any of you forget it.

#hush answers #pocket-stars #hush speaks

[xxlovelynovaxx]

https://archive.is/kcmOf

What a crock of transandromisic bullshit

Trans women are always just "poorly wording posts" and "making posts about primarily transfem experiences and hysterical violent misogynistic transmascs are dogpiling them for no reason and then misgendering and victimizing themselves over... what? Trans women (and men) saying trans men aren't oppressed while transmascs are actively being killed for being transmasc? That they should be raped and forcibly detransitioning? That being violently misogynistic to them while also "treating them like real men" and making pride flags with stripes representing "the blood of transmascs" is "gender affirming"?

Those "increasingly harmless" posts?

Stop infantilizing and woobifying trans women. You were so transandromisic you looped right back into transmisogyny. (Not to mention "trans women primarily experience transmisogyny more than transfems". Uh, no.)

Like don't get me wrong, it's not like other trans people NEVER blow up a trans person's post and attack and dogpile them. It happens to transfems AND transmascs all the time. It IS a reactive community, full of trauma, that struggles with solidarity. That's the whole reason the transunity movement was started!

But maybe, just maybe, it's not because trans men are "basically just like misogynistic cis men but also just like misogynistic cis women". Maybe it's because hurt people hurt people, and also because the trans community has NOT unlearned their gender essentialism and still thinks Masculinity=Inherently Violent Evil Predator Bad Dangerman.

But I guarantee you, while maybe you were just seeing the bullshit cases (or maybe you were in a position of relative privilege yourself and so talked over more vulnerable transmascs to try and not be attacked yourself by the transandrophobes in question), it's not just "inane bullshit" that people are "attacking innocent transfems". It's not even transfems specifically, it's (usually trans) transandrophobes (of any gender), but since you started the conversation.

The fact that a transfem who was one of the ones "joking" about raping and forcibly impregnating transmascs is one of the biggest fans of your article should maybe be a clue, buddy. These people are not your allies. They don't have societal power over you, but they can still chew you up and spit you out like any nasty mean girl, and they will.

Maybe you should stand with the majority of trans people, who defend each other, who recognize the oppression of ALL trans people, and who don't see any groups as inherently biologically or "socialized" as violent misogynists. Maybe you shouldn't turn around and repeat transmisogynistic arguments at people who were typically born with a vagina, and try to deconstruct them entirely instead. Maybe you can stop acting like "trans men's rights activist" is a logically derogatory phrase - or are you against trans men having rights, as a group made up of people marginalized by their specific gender identity?

I stg. I'm so tired y'all. We ain't getting ANYWHERE with bullshit like this.

No, transmascs aren't getting "Ben Shapiro'd" into violent transmisogyny. No, being transfem does not mean you're incapable of being violently transphobic and misogynistic towards other trans people. No, oppression is not that simple. No, it's not "trans+women=special oppression" and "trans+man=privilege". It's actually more like "gender^trans=oppressed gender". Because, y'know, trans men are trans because of the man part and men because of the trans part. You'd have to square root the trans part and eliminate entirely to isolate the man part. It just doesn't work that way.

#not tagging bc I don't want all the assholes in my notes #if you're one of the assholes in question of any gender fuck off this post entirely #go make your own post whining like a tr/f about violent evil men and hysterical females elsewhere

[hard--headed--woman]

Do you think that the struggles of homo and bi people have been drowned out by the TQIA+? Personally I believe the "community" should not have grown to such a large level cuz now I rarely hear anything from the bisexuals and homosexuals and it makes me sad. (I also dislike when people just use the word "queer" to describe themselves since it is still a slur, and reclaiming it doesn't have the power that a black person reclaiming the N word to themselves has).

I agree with everything ! The fact that so many straight people now think they are a part of our community silence us and invisibilizes our experiences. We created it to fight against our oppression and to share our experiences as same sex attracted people, but now we only ever hear about trans, nb and aroace people. You can even get cancelled for being homosexual, and you now have some people saying the sentence "love is love" is problematic. You are right about everything.

Also the thing with the word "queer" is that even if some people want to reclaim it, we shouldn't use this word to talk about the entire community. First of all because most people who use this word are straight, but also because many people don't want to reclaiming, and calling a whole community a slur is shitty no matter what.

#anon #asks

[void-thegod]

When you have a invisible disability and you fail:

1. You're stupid

2. You're weak

3. You're gullible

4. You're a bad person

But it's never because you're disabled. And if you bring up the fact that you're disabled?

That's not an excuse.

Hm.

I don't know.

I think if I've had brain damage or am an amputee of some sort (I've had .. quite a few concussions actually) that I'm not going to function optimally

Would you question someone's ability to swim if they didn't have legs or were missing an arm?

Yeah. You'd be concerned about their ability.

But no. That doesn't mean they're an invalid. That doesn't mean they're incapable of doing wrong or anything else.

They will struggle more and they will experience the affects of that in various ways.

If we can accept abusers, people being plain ignorant, and bigots as people... why is it so hard to accept someone who is born differently?

This differently?

If you are brown, you know the sort of struggles and stress you have are on another level than a white person.

If you're a darker skin brown person it is more likely you will be treated worse than someone light skinned.

I was in a relationship with a black/indigenous woman. She was emotionally and physically abusive.

But I knew the type of shit she'd gone through

I saw how people treated us differently.

As the recipient of her abuse... I justified staying with her in a number of ways.

I'm not an angel. I'm capable of getting angry. Of yelling. I've done things I regret.

But I haven't physically harmed another person, yet.

The only times I've ever come close were in self defense

This is the sort of despicable person I am.

Only when pushed into a corner do I do desperate things. Desperate times, after all.

But that comes with its own pitfalls.

Being trans. Being male. Being brown (mixed/light). Being disabled.

People make all sorts of assumptions about you based on your behavior.

Rightly so. But if intent matters and outcome matters... then why have I been judged so harshly?

If I am being completely honest...

I think that is just what happens to weird people. People who have lost or never had the ability to connect with others because of their constitution.

Not even worse than other people.

I've met good people. Mediocre people. And real shit heads. And they all are capable of great kindness and great maliciousness - depending upon the circumstances.

But generally, the worst people are bigoted, ignorant, and hateful. They love drama. They like to see people in pain, to manipulate, and to have power. They are so desperate to be successful or at least better than others that they don't think twice.

If they think twice it is because their fear or reason actually over rules them. Or because they were made to learn. And even then? They become worse people.

Why? Why am I mentioning all this?

Because all people are made from this world, one way or another. Either a part of it or in revolt against it.

It creates illness of all sorts - of the body, mind, and spirit/heart. And that affects everything else.

How is anyone to properly survive this without being corrupted? Without being harmed or without harming?

You cannot.

But. I think we can ... be more discerning.

There is no reason in 2024 that we should still be struggling with the things we are.

People should know the difference between someone like Trump and someone like Biden

Between someone who is disabled and hurt and struggling

And someone who is disabled and hurt and willingly/maliciously hurting others

They shouldn't be seen as equal by any stretch of the imagination.

Likewise the way that we live our lives...

Between the rich and the poor. The why and how of it... there should be no confusion. About anything. About what should be done.

Same with our government.

The home of the brave? The land of the free?

The most brave and free of us are the most oppressed. And I mean "free" in the sense of not being so bound by societal norms.

Of course. Many of us don't have a choice. One way or another. Or the choices are few and shitty.

So.

What now?

Keep doing wrong? Keep seeing wrong?

...

I can't keep being around people like that.

Guess I'll die trying to escape this Hell.

#rambles #vent #trans #queer #voidpunk #autistic #disabled

[butchesanddykesandqueersohmy]

Genuine question as an older intersex butch who is trying to understand where my lived experience is supposed to fit in to a lot of the newer terms I'm seeing pop up recently in discourse

What is actually meant by TME/TMA because while I understand what they stand for I'm struggling to see how that translates to lived experiences of people in my life and myself

From context of how I've seen them being used it seems to be another way of separating assigned gender at birth but I feel I'm definitely missing something

Because Like I as an intersex person have been subject to transmisogyny my entire life it's had an real and appreciable effect on my life my lived experiences more closely mirror my trans femme/women peers but the sex i was assigned at birth was "female" because my differences weren't immediately apparent.

But as I got older in late puberty my body in its natural state started having all the traditional secondary sex characteristics of "male" development despite the majority of my primary ones being "female"

So like where does that fit within this framework

I have no real solid close to this question more of a request for input I guesss

honestly although this ponderence has similar vibes as am I trans?

Because anyone who wasn't privy to the info that I'm intersex saw someone they previously visually assumed as female becoming someone they visually assumed was male

But all that's actually happened for me is that I realised I was Butch and enjoyed expressing masculinity and that I shouldn't be afraid of that, cut my hair short for disablity reasons, and stopped shaving my body hair and facial hair for similar reasons but i grew to love them as any other part of myself

So am I trans? Maybe depends on who's doing the viewing I guess🤷‍♂️

And it's not just me I have many friends and partners and exes that have equally complicated journeys with gender that are not as simple as wether or not they were assigned one thing or another at birth

Because intersex people exist and kind of mess up any binaries that folks try to arbitrarily enforce we don't mean to it just sort of happens

So yeah please try to be kind and get that I'm coming at this from a place of wanting to understand and bridging gaps

#tme/tma #intersex #genuine questions in good faith

[windwardstar]

So my two year mark on T is coming up in the next few days and while I will be writing up a longer post about all my experiences later, I do want to say this:

It is never too late to start hormones, you'll see amazing changes no matter how old you are when you start. And I know how hard it is to wait.

I know a lot of those starting hrt later in life stories are from people who didn't realize they were trans until later. And maybe you're thinking it's great for them but that you know you're trans now. You know the options for hormones and gender affirming care exist and you want it but just aren't allowed.

And I'm here to say i know how hard it is to wait.

I knew I wasn't a girl at 5. I wasn't allowed to not be though. Part of the requirements for stopping therapy in elementary school was that I learned to stop saying it. I realized being trans was a thing in high school even if i didnt know nonbinary was an option. I was given room to be tomboy irl and not-a-girl-not-a-boy in my mind. And then I went to live with different family members who expressed violently anti-trans beliefs and any social transitions I did had to be limited to safe spaces, where the countdown to eacaping them also became a countdown to being able to transition socially and medically. I wasn't able to move out and into my own place until I was 25. I didn't get to start T until I was 29 because of insurances. And had to wait until this past year for top surgery and hysto. And am still waiting for bottom surgery.

And I still wish I could have gotten on T earlier. That I could have been able to transition in all the ways I wanted earlier. But they're absolutely worth doing it now because it means I get to be me now. I'm still read as a girl 100% of the time but I feel better about my own body and so many aspects of my dysphoria have decreased. There are things that haven't changed but what has has been entirely worth it.

The wait has also allowed me to build up a history of having a consistent gender identity. It has allowed me to figure out exactly what I want and know down to my bones what the right choices for my transition are so that when I speak with the doctors with other people I have the weight of a decade+ of certainty backing up my choices. And being 30 rather than 13 people are more likely to listen to me and trust that I know myself. It allowed me to save up money and to find a job with good insurance to facilitate my transition.

You shouldn't have to wait. Whatever your age as soon as you know what the right choice is for you, you should be able to make it. And other people stopping you because they think they know better is infuriating and can make you feel hopeless. But one day you will get to transition in all the ways you want.

Bide your time. Use it to figure out what you want. To figure out what you have to do in order to get what you want. To save money. To identify the hoops. Find places where you can be yourself.

I know it's hard to wait. I still struggle with the grief over having to. Wonders of what my life could have been like. But I do know what it is like to finally get to transition and all the joy I've experienced over the past two years, that no matter how long I have to wait for more it'll never be too late because any time I have to experience this joy is worth it.

It's hard to wait, but please stick around and wait. It'll be worth it once you get the chance. I promise.

#hopefully this made sense im on my phone and this was rather stream of thought #monday trans ramble

[undisputed-queer-a]

Trans Rights are Human Rights, or why I struggle to boo CM Punk

Ok the title is sort of a lie. I certainly didn't struggle booing him on Sunday live in Wembley. But in all fairness he was facing Samoa Joe who is one of those wrestler that I just care about always have for damn longer time than I have liked Punk. I, like most of the British crowd, was chanting my lungs out for Joe and yes might've booed Punker but my attitude slightly changed during the post of of this amazing if slightly predictable match. After the match, as pictured, CM Punk posed with a fan holding a sign that said "Oi Rishi! TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS" this is the latest in a string of support Phil has made towards the trans community including but not limited to a cool charity t shirt that I own but do not have in my possession.

I was at All In with a friend and when that happened he turned to me and said "THAT'S US!" as we both screamed and cheered CM Punk. I supported CM Punk in this moment even though he has given me so many reasons to think he is a twat. I cheered him because if I'm honest being a trans wrestling fan is hard.

These events are pretty recent and are still upsetting to me so I will try to make this section brief. Unfortunately I couldn't find a date for this particular event since none of the articles mentioned one so, at Wrestlecon Giselle Shaw, a trans woman currently wrestling in IMPACT was accosted by wrestling legend Rick Steiner. Brother to Scott Steiner and father to Bron Breakker. Steiner hurled lots of insults towards Shaw including slurs. I’m not going to read it out but Shaw’s tweets I will link below so you can hear the story from her. This is possibly the most extreme example I have of LGBT+ issues still being prevalent in wrestling today and the worst thing Rick Steiner has done since the Chucky segment. It makes me sadder than I can express that Giselle shaw can’t go to a convention without people being shitty.

There was a second after me and my friend had that exchange at All In where I thought "Am I okay saying that? It's London it's not like I'm in London that often. Is it safe to say I'm trans?". Obviously I am okay, I got safe and was not shanked up at any point but I was scared. And I think this fear is heightened by the fact that I have seen a wrestler, a wrestler I look up to, experience harassment due to their gender identity.

I felt safe at All In, it was incredible and I loved being a wrestling fan surrounded by wrestling fans. But there have been times where I have felt uncomfortable or unsafe in this fandom. I think that there are worse ones and that I feel generally more accepted in the wrestling fandom that I perhaps might expect but I shouldn't have to feel like this, ever.

So that's why I struggle to boo CM Punk, and why that moment was one of my favourite of the night, because CM Punk made me feel like I could be a part of the wrestling fandom. That I wasn't out of place. That I was accepted and I will forever be grateful for that.

In conclusion, on Sunday CM Punk has helped me and I hope that you can do one thing for me, just one. Go watch a match with a trans or non binary person in it. Please, it shouldn't take long. It could be Gisele Shaw, it could be Nyla Rose, Kidd Bandit, VENY, Max The Impaler, Jessica Love, Sheik Khan Abdi, Abadon, you could watch an old Kagetsu match if you want. I would love to see trans or non binary wrestlers get recognition and appreciation. So go off, watch that match. and if you do retweet this and say what match you watched and what you thought of it.

This has been Undisputed Queer-a.

Slay The System, certainly Shock The Cis-tem, sorry I'm a day late, I will see you next Monday (probably, hopefully, should be)

#aew #all in #cm punk #samoa joe #gisele shaw #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #wrestling #professional wrestling #wrasslin #all in 2023 #aew all in #blog #undisputed queer a

[pinkprettycure]

The way she said "anyone should be allowed to play any roles they want" she clearly has never been oppressed before (although, I know she is mixed judging by her selfies she doesn't seem very white-passing but she can still reek internalized racism and do whitewashing and race erasure on her African ancestry) or she hate reading/learning about queer and trans studies in media industry in general like I get it ppl don't like to read, but they shouldn't be surprised if ppl calls them out for choosing to be ignorant and it her own fault for choosing to be stupid and be wrong...it wasn't easy for ANY openly queer people to work in the industry back then and we all don't want to be forced in a cishet roles we don't feel comfortable to take part in.

literally honestly she should have known better, and if it weren't for the toxic and shameful reaction I would be inclined to say it was just an ignorant, clueless comment. Since the idea that "everyone should just be able to play anyone" is an appealing outlook that I understand completely, but we're not there yet.

and a lot of ppl regardless of their marginalization struggle to have any sort of understanding or empathy toward people with struggles different than them, and because they do face discrimination they think it means they know everything there is to know. thats how we get ppl chiming in on discussions of like antiblackness with "im hispanic and i dont find it racist" like huh?

but yeah the biggest problem comes from her response, lack of apology, dogpiling, bullying, and unwillingness to hear other perspectives. It's one thing to say "we should all be able to just play anyone we want" it's another to refuse to hear why we would prefer trans people to play trans roles. It's not that we want people to "only" play roles that "match", but rather giving people who haven't had a chance to try an opportunity as well as letting them work with creators and share their perspectives. A trans VA could point out hey, this line is a bit weird, I don't think they would say that!

And Wubcake also was like "what is a trans voice" and the answer is that there isn't one, but a trans voice actress who has been voice training for Years could deliver certain quirks or traits to the performance that someone who's never had to try that sort thing before for example. those experiences matter. but she clearly isn't willing to listen and sees that as a nuisance at best.

#Asks #Anonymous

[detransraichu]

i think there would be a lot more trans acceptance among feminists if trans ppl were like "okay i know i'm female/male (probably phrased afab/amab) and that's an important part of me, i don't know what it's like to be female/male yet until i do pass and i won't pretend to know the opposite agab's experiences or inner feelings. i know that while trans women have unique struggles, cis women are oppressed in a unique way too and it's not a strict oppressor/oppressed dynamic. cis people don't need to say they have a gender identity, they can just see their gender as a body type. but for me, i want to live being seen as the opposite sex or get some characteristics of that sex because it's the only way that has kept me sane so far. i will keep in mind my agab, and i know i can't change my sex, but living this way is the only thing i've found that keeps my mental health for going down a trashcan. you don't need to change your sexuality for me, you don't need to literally see me as the opposite sex. i'd appreciate if you used my new name and pronouns. i just want to blend in. i had a lot of therapy before this. i'm open to deep discussions about transness and how sometimes it can be a harmful identity, and how minors aren't ready to transition, and i think everyone should hear detrans ppl's experiences to minimize future painful detransitions. i think transition should be properly regulated. i think the affirmative-only model can be harmful. i think some ppl, like me, really do need this treatment, but it's not for everyone and for many ppl it's just a very harmful coping mechanism. using suicide as a threat for trans acceptance does more harm than good. i'm just a person trying to handle my gender dysphoria, my difficult symptoms. i'm open to difficult discussions and will remain respectful and see cis women, an oppressed class, in good faith. i know transness is a complex topic" I WISH IT WAS ALL LIKE THIS i know some trans ppl do talk like that and i love it, i wish more people did, but shitty trans behavior is rampant!!

like THAT'S how trans activists really should talk instead of acting like the only victims in the world and like feminists are trying to genocide them when they try to have deep talks about afab oppression and not being inherently more privileged than trans women, just having two complex different oppressions... also seeing us as evil for saying that ppl w same-sex & opposite-sex exclusive sexualities shouldn't go thru conversion therapy and be "fixed" into finding trans ppl hot ??? that's activism somehow, making ppl be into girldick and boypussy and bodies affected by their agab puberties and say "well reversed-penis surgical vaginas and clit dicks & surgical penises exist so you have no excuse not to fuck a trans person!! and if you don't like their bodies you can still date, why would you want sex in a relationship?! yeah afab4afab & amab4amab trans ppl exist and they're only attracted in that way too BUT THAT'S NOT THE SAME YOU BIGOTED BITCHES"

#lay text #radfem #radblr #transmasc #transfem #t4t