#still wanna finish a few more in the inbox first at least tho ;-;

[cyncerity]

ok this isn’t really a post about the situation but it is a minor update to how i’ll be handling a few of my aus:

the whole rant is under the cut but tldr: the aus i talk about here are Store Shifter, Dad’s Troubles, Flubber, and Epic. Store Shifter and Dad’s Troubles are getting left alone, Flubber is getting a minor recast, and Epic is getting more majorly reworked (mostly character wise, kinda plot wise). As of right now, Wil/crimeboy centric fics are on pause. Not cancelled, but i’ll see later down the road if they need changed or if i can learn to separate the character from the creator. I will be updating the Epic au soon with said reworkings cause i really really really wanna finish that story. I have yet to start and actually finish a chaptered fic and I want this to be my first.

most recently i’ve been posting a few updates on mainly the Store Shifter and Flubber au, while i’ve been kinda working on the Dad’s Troubles and Epic AU in the background.

For the most part, these aus will remain unchanged because you know who either isn’t in them or isn’t a main character. For the Store Shifter, i’m not changing it for now because he isn’t and was never planned to be an important character. I’m just gonna ignore him in that au. Dad’s Troubles he just straight up isn’t in, so that one is unchanged.

Flubber au is a little different: i’m just recasting. He doesn’t have a huge part, but it is a lore important one, so from now on in that story the main antagonist will be Dream (1: he’s easy to stick in the “Tommy’s antagonistic boss” role and 2: i need at least one au where Dream is an antagonist lol). So yeah i’ll make a more official post for that au later.

The main reason for this post tho is the Epic AU, which is one of my personal favorites and i have so much that I want to talk about it for and even a whole bunch of new characters and concepts and world building that I want to post about. However, this au faces a problem for me at this moment: it’s crimeboy centric.

As of right now, I do not feel comfortable updating any of my Wil/crimeboy centric aus/fics. This is not to say I’m discontinuing them, i’m personally very attached to my own fics and a lot of them were written to either help me feel better or to help other people feel better, so I don’t feel right just throwing them away. Also, i will never be deleting my fics or shutting down this account, so I don’t want people to worry there, either. However, I don’t know how comfortable I am with writing for c!Wil rn, especially since this situation is still so fresh and plenty of people haven’t shared their experiences/responses (not to say that I expect anyone to; i don’t expect everything to be handled publicly over twitter). I think in time i’ll be able to separate the character from the actor; unfortunately i’ve been through this before. i’ve seperated characters who were far more like their creator from said creator who had done far worse things (if anyone on this blog has watched TribeTwelve, you know exactly what I’m talking about).

However, even if I eventually decide that I can write c!Wil while separating him from his creator, i don’t know if i’ll ever feel fully comfortable incorporating him in stories with a bigger cast of characters given the cc responses to his actions. Any stories where I have him interacting with people like Ranboo, Tubbo, or especially Niki will likely need to be changed because i don’t feel comfortable portraying them like friends anymore.

I’ve kind of done this before, honestly, i just never posted about it last time: when beeduo first stopped talking publicly, i stopped writing for beeduo. To this day, i have a fuck ton of beeduo requests in my inbox that i never got to and may not ever write because i didn’t feel comfortable writing their characters being close when in real life they may have had a falling out or now hated each other (so, so sorry to the people that sent those btw). Over time, most people started to realize that it was because of the crazy amount of shipping. It was bad during the dsmp and only got worse when Ranboo came out and all the speculation over Tubbo’s sexuality hit its peak when he’d made it very clear that crossed his boundaries. After realizing their silence was likely just them trying to shut up a more toxic part of both of their fanbases, i became a bit more comfortable writing them as friends again. I still haven’t made any beeduo centric fics or stories since then cause i don’t know the full story of what happened between them, this is all just speculation, but i at least have them be friends as supporting characters in aus i’ve already made.

All this to say that the way i handle the rest of my aus really depends on how things play out more with the situation. Again, it’s still new and i’m still gathering my thoughts. I can think about it more clearly now that i’ve gotten over the shock, which is why i’m posting this, but not every decision will be finalized immediately.

However, back to the Epic AU, it will be getting a rework in a lot of ways. I’m changing up the cast, and i’ve decided to cut Wil entirely because 1: i’m impatient and this is an au that i really wanna start up again and keep working on right now and 2: in the au i have him being friends with Ranboo and Dream and Tubbo and again that’s just not something i feel super comfortable with rn. So, i’m recasting and minorly changing the plot so i can update that one soon cause honestly i just miss it. I’ve still got so many asks and art requests (Becky sent me an art request like almost a year ago now and istg i’m gonna fucking draw it if it kills me) and there was a whole nother species i teased a bunch and then just…never told you about.

So yeah expect an update on the Epic AU soon and thank you for reading this entire fucking essay. As a little bonus for taking your time to read this, i’ll give you a hint for the next au im working on: karlnapity and vampires >:)

Eat, drink water, and get a good nights rest, take care of yourself <3

#cyncerity #mcyt gt #mcyt g/t #cynpsa #mcyt g/t community

[dyketectivecomics]

I started typing this out last night & work was slow today, so here's some backstory/building blocks for the Batcavers AU (long post is Long so under a cut it goes!):

Bruce's adventures in solo spelunking & cave cartography started about when he's 15/16 & goes back down the well on a whim. Martha gets worried when he starts spending too much time alone down there tho & makes Bruce promise to never go without a friend

his usual go-tos are Harvey & Tommy, but a couple times when Zatanna was in town, she joined him. we love childhood friendssss

(now insert some benign reasons for idk other heroes/rogues to join him somehow fdjksla idk man. these are early years stuff)

i know i said it earlier, but all the rooms/Major formations follow a shakespeare theme. all of bruce's friends call him a Nerd for it fjdakls;

Bruce becomes a professional spelunker & speleologist and develops out the cave for the public to enjoy & continually explores and maps out the system. he's a big advocate for Bats too

and that's how the Media dubs him..... "The Bat Man" fkjdsalf; ROLL CREDITS

So the Tour Guide Kids:

So Dick & Babs were some of the first kids hired who have stayed the longest, obvsly. (dick's nickname is still robin bc circus origin is the same lmao. Babs gets the 'Batgirl' nickname for a few years when she gets chased by a couple of them lmao)

Dick fell in love with the cave when Haly’s visited gotham and his parents took him on one of the tours. When Dick starts college in Gotham, he works at the cave part-time mostly in the ‘off’ season (but a little over one summer too when he doesn’t tour with halys bc of some summer courses he’s signed up for).

Babs has been working at the cave for a few years ahead of him. At this point in time, Dicks been promoted to a supervisor/senior guide position & Babs works mostly in admin and overseeing communication (& eventually earns the New nickname of 'Oracle' bc somehow she's always able to predict exactly what ppl are radio-ing her about lmao)

They’re constantly flirting and it’s an open secret that they’ve dated off and on at this point. Y’all this kinda shit happened SO much at my cave, the drama was RIDIC Aksjaksj

Tim and Steph start around the same time & stick around a little longer than most guides. Tim makes a niche for himself working retail and eventually moves over to the main ticket sales/admin office. He and babs absolutely Crush things when they're working overlapping days. Steph's somehow wormed her way to being under Dicks wing rn being trained as another Head Guide.

tim's nickname is 'red robin' is bc he suggested they all have dinner together after work & they somehow had the Worst Dining Experience Ever™. Steph gets her 'Spoiler' nickname bc she constantly brings up new TV show episodes and just launches right into her Thoughts™ without asking and well fjdk Spoils Things

Harper and Duke start around the same time too, they're both newer to the whole operation & are still learning the Ropes. (yall got some of my initial thoughts on duke, so i'll just touch that Harper gets the Bluebird nickname bc Dick or Steph gives it to her lmao)

You're probably wondering 'wait, where's the Other Kids?' well BUCKLE UP BUCKO, bc its SELF-INDULGENCE TIME

Damian is the easiest to explain, in this the al Ghuls run another rival company, Bruce and Talia met in college and have an off/on relationship (divorced once MAYHAPS 👀) either way, Damian’s the result of that, Talia and Bruce share custody.

Okay, realistically, Everyone’s backstories can stay p much the same or be finagled to work out realistically enough to skirt by. Cass’ backstory needs to be straight up thrown in the garbage in this bc the League doesn’t exist akjsk SO here’s what I’m proposing instead:

We’re gonna shoe-horn the Jason & Cass twin theory and also have Bruce adopt them both bc REASONS. (Those reasons are, they were trying to steal Bruce’s tires and they were doing a REALLY good job of it w/ Cass distracting ppl and Jason doing his nascar tryout lmao, but Bruce caught on bc This Is Gotham and was basically like ‘you little shits (laughing the entire time)’ and the rest is History

ANYWAYS all of that to say that all three of them grow up basically having the run of the the cave and doin what they want aksj, Damian’s a little young yet in this to be giving tours/working, but all 3 have varying levels of interest in the cave

Jason loves being a guide, but is a little abrasive when ppl ask REALLY dumb questions. He WILL sass them if it’s something just objectively dumb. (Someone asked me when we moved closer to the highway. Like SIR) Cass likes giving the off-trail tours more than doing the big guided groups & likes helping with training new guides, so she’s more hands-on in those situations. Damian rlly rlly wants to help map out areas with smaller openings to see if he can find More Cave but it gives Bruce a heart attack having him down there and disregarding all safety precautions so he’s constantly being benched from that

Oh ye, so for nicknames, Jay gets Red Hood bc he’s always wearing a red beanie even when it’s the middle of summer. Cass gets the Batgirl one passed down to her bc she’s a pro at catching stray bats/somehow corralling ‘em to leave the main rooms. Dami is the baby bat/robin bc he’s always following either Bruce or Dick around when he’s on the property.

Let the Not-So-Shitty Summer Job AU begin hahaha

#batcavers au #I won’t tag em directly but ye!!! #now that I’ve got the Ground Work thoughts..... I could probably do snippets for this some day #still wanna finish a few more in the inbox first at least tho ;-;

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!! #i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

[hongism]

Hi~ I'm super soft for Mingi these days so could u please write an imagine/scenario(??) about him and the reader having a movie night cuddling on the couch and he's complaining about being tired bc of schedule and then you try to make him feel better by giving him the best suck in his life~ I'm sorry if that's too specific, but feel free to write it as you like tho! ^^

alright yoit this took way too long for me to do, but i finally cleared out most of the big stuff in the inbox so i’m finally gonna get around to writing the imagines :D also boo don’t worry about it being too specific, it’s actually nice for me to have lots of details so i know what to write and how to write it as best i can so hehe i’m glad you gave lots of deets onwARDS WE GO

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: blowjobs

Title: Tired

…

Eyes transfixed on the screen before you, you slide further against your boyfriend on the couch. One hand slides over his stomach as you sink your head onto his shoulder, the other lingering near the nape of his neck and combing through the ends of his hair.

“Mingi,” you mutter as a small snore escapes his lips. You bring your hand further down and squeeze his side gently. “Baby, do you wanna go to bed?”

Mingi shakes his head when you speak, eyes fluttering open and coming to rest on you. “Huh?”

“Do you wanna go to bed? You feel asleep.”

“Oh, did I? No, no, no. I wanna stay up with you, we barely get any time together as it is.” You frown as Mingi looks down at you. He slides his hand across yours, mimicking the little frown on your lips. “I want to stay up,” he repeats.

“You need to sleep though, Mingi. You have to be up early again tomorrow for practice. I can’t keep you up, okay?” You press your chin against Mingi’s shoulder, glancing up at his face and offering a weak smile.

“I just feel bad. I do this every time we’re together, and that’s not really fair to you, you know?”

“I’ve told you before that I don’t mind, Mingi.”

“It bothers me though.”

“You work a lot, baby. I understand that you’re busy, and I’ve told you time and time again that it’s okay.” Mingi blinks down at you, the movie on the TV forgotten and ignored as his gaze slips down your face to your lips.

“I-I…” He trails off. The bob of his Adam’s apple catches your eye. You smirk at the sight, then pull away from his shoulder.

“Can I convince you to rest?”

“W-What?”

You laugh at Mingi’s confusion, straightening your back and pressing your hand to his thigh. “Can I take care of you, Mingi?” You don’t wait for an answer before you’re sliding off the couch and onto your knees before Mingi. And it’s a good thing at that, because Mingi can’t seem to even get words out as he looks down at you. You nudge his knees apart and scoot forward a bit more, eyes not leaving Mingi’s. As your fingers trail over the waistband of his sweatpants, you hesitate, teasing the fabric by slipping the pads of your fingers under to brush his skin. He shivers under you, body stiffening and jerking under you. “Use your words, Mingi. Do you want me to take care of you?”

“Yes,” he spits out without hesitation. You dig your fingers further into his skin at the words, and his whole body jerks again. “Fuck yes.”

You hum in response then bring your gaze off his to focus more on the growing tent in his pants. With a small tug, you bring the band of his sweatpants down, and Mingi helps you pull them further down by pushing your hands to the side and yanking them himself. You laugh at the eagerness in his actions, hands coming to rest on his thighs once he’s settled back against the couch again.

“Can you suck me off?” Mingi asks as you run the blunts of your nails up and down his thighs.

“I’m getting there, baby. Be patient.” Shifting your fingers to the blue fabric of his underwear, you leave a trail of feather light touches over the outline of his cock. You’re barely touching him and yet he’s writhing under you already, thighs tensing. “Mingi~” You sing under your breath. 

You place your palm directly over the bulge in his underwear, squeezing gently, and when he groans at the contact, you grin. Part of you wants to tease a bit longer, play a bit more and send Mingi into a frenzy. The brat in you wants that at least, but as much as you want to be put in place, Mingi deserves a good reward for working so hard all the time. With a small hum, you decide to put Mingi out of his misery and pull back the elastic of his underwear. His breath hitches as the cold air hits his dick. 

You lean forward, hand wrapping around the base of his dick, and you bring the tip to your mouth. Mingi exhales. 

“What’s wrong, Mingi?” You ask as you press a kiss to his head then linger there, warm breath over him. “Want me to stop?”

“No, please don’t stop. Please.” Mingi’s small begs egg you on. You flatten your tongue against the head of his cock then slip the whole tip between your lips, offering a small suck as soon as he’s in your mouth. “F-Fuck, Y/N.” You give him a few seconds to relish in your small sucks before pulling off and dribbling a line of saliva over him. “Fuck, that’s hot. Holy sh–ah!” 

You don’t give him time to breathe or finish the thought, instead you drop your lips over him once again, this time taking half of him into your mouth. You hesitate there and massage the flat of your tongue against the underside of his dick while looking up at Mingi through heavily lidded eyes. 

“God, you take me so well. Fuck, look at your pretty little mouth around me.” Mingi groans as he watches you work, your cheeks hollowing around him as you bob up and down. “Baby, can you take me deeper? Please?” 

You hum around his, the vibrations sending a trail of goosebumps across his skin. Still, you do as asked and slip him further into your mouth, and as much as you try to bottom out, he hits the back of your throat before you’re able to take him all in. You go to move off of him, tongue already curled and twisted around his dick, but Mingi brings a hand to the back of your head instead and holds you there for a few more seconds. 

“Hold on, baby, hold on. I just wanna–I wanna–ah fuck, you feel so good.” The distraction of pleasure allows for you to pull off of him, dick slipping between your lips with a loud pop. 

“Hm? What’s wrong, baby?” You curl your fingers around him tighter, squeezing the base of his cock until he’s whining. “I just wanna make you feel good.” A laugh slips between your lips before you take him back into your mouth, sucking harshly at him until he welps under you. 

“Ah! Ah, Y/N, hold on. Hold on, wait, ah I don’t wanna cum yet!” Mingi squirms, and the slight desperation in his tone gives you incentive to pull off and slowly jerk him instead. Your spit is slick against him, helping you jerk him. As you slow your strokes, he whines and tries to relax his muscles. 

“Mingi,” you say a moment later.

“A-ah, ye-yes?” You glance up at Mingi’s face, finding his brows furrowed in concentration, and he doesn’t look down at your face; rather, his focus is on the hand around his cock that slowly curves and strokes around him in an all too teasing manner.

“I want you to cum in my mouth. I wanna swallow it.” The words have a visceral reaction on Mingi, his whole body tensing the second he relaxes, and you feel his dick twitch under your hand. You bite back a laugh at his reaction, and honestly the desire to laugh leaves you immediately when you see the glint in Mingi’s eyes. He pushes your hand off him, one of his own taking it’s place, the other still on the back of your head. 

“Suck,” he demands as he pushed his cock closer to you. 

You don’t hesitate in taking him back into your mouth and flattening your tongue against him. Mingi guides your head across him which leaves you to simply suck away at him as asked while he bobs your head up and down. Either you’re sucking him better than you thought or something about the whole image below him is really getting to him, because only a few moments pass before he’s quaking under your mouth. The grip on your hair lessens the closer he gets to orgasming, and that honestly only prompts you to suck harder. And then, moments later, he’s letting out a low groan that quickly drifts into a high-pitched whine. His cum is hot as it spills down your throat, and you nearly choke around him before swallowing the rest of his load.

“Fuck,” Mingi mutters as he watches you swallow around him, popping of his cock with a small smile. “That was hot as hell, baby.”

“Hm, I’m glad to hear it. Are you ready to go to bed now?” You sit back on your heels. Bringing a finger to your lips, you wipe away the excess saliva dripping down your chin. Mingi’s gaze stays on you, eyes carefully following the movements of your fingers across your lips. He leans down and tilts your chin upwards to press his lips to yours. He hums into the kiss then swipes his tongue across your bottom lip.

“I think I have a few more things I’d like to do to you first.”

…

a/n: hi goodbye i’m leaving YEEHAW can’t believe i wrote this trash

also ignore this pos imagine it’s my first time writing smut EVER

#ateez smut #mingi smut #mingi #ateez #ateez scenario #song mingi #ateez scenarios #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #mingi scenario #mingi scenarios #mingi imagine #mingi imagines #mingi drabble #mingi drabbles #ateez drabble #ateez drabbles #mingi fluff #mingi angst #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez request #ateez requests

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee . #anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️ #and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

[the-darklings]

—𝗖𝗢𝗔 𝗙𝗔𝗤;

Hello, everyone! So with COA being such a long-running series and new readers finding it constantly, I have come to realise that a lot of questions I get often repeat. So to keep everything easy and clear and friendly for everyone regardless of whether you started COA at the very beginning of the story or just recently found it, I have spent the day relaxing, eating junk food, and compiling this FAQ. Please read through it because chances are the answers are here somewhere. I have sectioned the guide into following: general, story, ships, original squad (OCs), AUS, OC!V and tips/advice. If the answer to your question is not here, please feel free to send me a message and have a wonderful day! <33 - kat.

GENERAL:

when does this story update?

I try to keep a bi-weekly schedule (now usually Sunday updates). But I always let you know when the chapter is done by making a final word count post (pre edits). 

do you have a masterlist?

yes, you can find it here.

do you have a tag list?

not for COA. they’re very time consuming and I’m already really busy sorry :(

are your requests open?

I rarely open my inbox for requests. the only exception being the monthly blurb nights. then I reblog a prompt list and let people send some requests in for any fandom/ship. however, usually due to how many I get, it only happens every few months. that being said, you can still send me ideas/suggestions and if it inspires me, I will write it. that’s how the majority of the AUs have come about. but i’m also a very busy person so sorry if I can’t. 

can I make X or Y for COA and tag you?

yes. yes. yes. please, please, feel free to create whatever for COA (no matter how small or silly) because I consider it a great honour that I’ve been able to inspire someone else. whatever it is, please tag me. I wanna see.

okay, I made a thing and tagged you but you didn’t respond :(

Tumblr is notorious for eating my notifs. whatever it is (art/post/etc) if I don’t respond to it in a day or two, please give me a nudge. you’re not being annoying, I promise. chances are I missed it/tumblr ate it. 

I wanna scream/discuss/theorise about COA with others, is there any way for me to do that?

my amazing readers have set up this reddit page that is full of lovely people, theories, and memes etc. I check it often and interact on there, too, so feel free to drop by.

STORY:

how many chapters will COA be?

25. the last one being a very long epilogue.

have you decided on the ending yet?

yes. from as early as part 2. it's barely changed since. 

will we ever see more of Prague/Naples? hoe, please say yes.

yes. I plan to write both as COA bonus stories after the main story-line concludes.

will there be a sequel? 

depends. on two things: 1) if anyone will even care by that point 2) time. this story has consumed 5 months of my life entirely. i’ve been incredibly strict with myself when it comes to writing it (in a good way) but at best it won’t be finished till the end of august/beginning of september. so likely even if I do, there will be a break for a few months at least. I do have ideas though.

you promised us smut. where is it?

patience is a virtue. ;)

happy ending or tragedy? (please don’t say tragedy, you monster)

I would describe it more as “bittersweet” but whether it leans more towards bitter or sweet you’ll have to see.   

SHIPS:

any endgame hints?

you know more about the ending than you probably realise

can v/s finally go to Paris? for the love of GOD? pLEASE?

no

hector + v? powerful. will there be more of them in the future? 

agreed & yes. hector and v have their own arc to go on. it’s actually one of my favourites in this story. I don’t want to say more than that right now because I have plans for their dynamic so no spoilers. :)

please stop bullying john. give us some j/v content please? 

i, for one, adore john. it’s team S that’s bullying him lol. but wait till parabellum. i’ve always referred to that portion of the story as the second coming of j/v.

does lucien actually have a thing for v or is it a creepy obsession? 

it’s both.

I ship v with everyone :/ is that bad?

the sky is the limit. ship all the things proudly (but seriously, no, it isn’t. I ship all the ships, too, and that’s the fun of it) 

v/elder tho? 👀

🔫🤡

j/v or s/v? be honest.

you fool,,,, you buffoon. ot3 j/v/s is where it’s really at. imagine their POWER.   

ORIGINAL SQUAD:

what do the Elites/Lovers look like/how old are they?

please refer to this

will there be more step??

of course. he’s my baby. :)

will we see more of camorra/learn more about the elite’s and their backstories?

while I would love to take the time and flesh them all out with full backstories, only hector will be getting his backstory explored in the main canon because plot.

does lucien care for mika anymore or has he replaced her with v?

lucien is a messy hoe. mika is his subject of “affection” but v is his foil and equal. he recognises the same hurt in her that he has gone through himself so it’s more of a fixation. with time, lucien would likely destroy v so no bueno. 

I ship our OCs.

I do, too.

can we write about your OCs/V?

so you would have to come to me and discuss this more in private but I’m fine with this sort of thing usually. in fact, a prequel hector story already exists so you’re likely good but please contact me first. 

AUs:

when/how often do you update the vampire!au?

whenever I have time/inspo. mainly time. so this means you can get it daily or not get it for several weeks because COA is priority. I keep you all updated on when I have something cooking tho.

what is the actual pairing for vamp!au?

undecided as of yet. i’m leaning more towards ot3 right now but we shall see.

how often do you update flowing in me?

same as the above. whenever I have the time but I will keep you updated.

how many parts will flowing in me be?

I have 5 parts(ish) planned.

do you have a tag list for flowing in me?

I will. please leave a comment on the story if you want to be tagged in future parts!

will flowing in me feature other characters (john, winston etc.)?

this story is mainly camorra-centric but I do plan for John to appear at some point.

how did you come up with your lore in vamp!au?

to be completely honest....I just wrote a bunch of stuff down and used what stuck. mostly the ideas were pulled out of thin air while still trying to keep within the spirit of the canon material (the high priest, the holy church, the twelve priests, john being the boogeyman etc). camorra as the natural enemy seemed fitting and santino as a vampire prince even more so.

can we send you new au ideas/expand on old ones (manager!V etc)?

yes, always. I always try my hardest to reply but ofc I can’t promise I’ll be able to use them all but thank you in advance.

OC!V:

who is the face claim for OC!V?

weronika spyrka

what is her real name?

clara

how old is she at the beginning of the story and now?

23 beginning of chapter 1, 30 beginning of chapter 4 (current timeline)

will/would you ever write an original story about her?

I have considered creating something original out of COA itself or one of its sister series/concepts (like FIM). since I really started working on COA during last year’s NaNo, that might be the time I create something original this year. 

TIPS & ADVICE:

how do you write so much, so quickly?

I don’t think that word count is really reflective of the quality work itself. I don’t think you should worry how much you write, either. 100 words can be just as valuable as 1k. most of them time I have a deadline breathing down my neck and I do work well under pressure so that inspires me to force the chapters out. I also do very long days because despite what it might look like I’m not a fast writer.

how can I improve my writing?

read and practice. I know it’s dumb and overused advice but it’s how I learned english and found my style (still a mess and WIP) but still this advice does help. 

how do you keep motivated?

spite, your support, genuine adoration for these characters/word, a lot of spite. 

do you plan? outline?

I have a vague story outline with specific scenes in mind as I go along (helps to set up foreshadowing, twists, and those ‘full circle’ moments). I also plan each chapter scene by scene and know what each chapter is meant to accomplish. So yeah in a sense. 

#i will add more in the future if it comes to mind #with this future parts coming up i imagine more questions will repeat lol #faq post #fic: children of ares

[boomerang109]

*looks at my fic, which hasn’t been updated in 4 weeks (other than edits because i Didn’t Like It) and i’ve now driven myself into a horrible writers block immediately after outlining the entire thing possibly because i have outlined the entire thing and i forgot where i was going with this but am i sending it anyway yes i am please god tell me to write someone threw my motivation out the window and it’s all muddy now and i don wanna touch it oh god what even is that metaphor see what i mean about the writers block anyway ily cant wait for the next chapter of wwda get it out when you can don’t stress ily bye*

don’t tell me why my brain is like “yes we can answer this but we’ll combust if we look at any messages.” there’s no logic but i’ll get around to your messages and everyone else’s there. (to everyone waiting for like two sentence answers who’s seeing me post paragraphs, i’m sorry. the braincell does not function)

the way that i’m in YES! i can help! mode even tho i myself am lowkey in writer’s block which means i’m not qualified at all ajfhjghfgfdjghj

first of all: outlines are just to guide you. they stress me the fuck out too (which is why i’ve refused to put my wwda outline to paper, despite the fact that this means the timeline is absolutely fucked. like it’s in my brain, but if i put it on paper i’ll try to stick to it and i’ll freak out--see my month long break when i had an “outline” for chapter four). you can have goals for chapters (ie, lay groundwork for foreshadowing/character development/etc) but overall? just let yourself sit in front of the computer and vibe. don’t think about where you’re going, just think about where you are. 

“i don wanna touch it oh god what even is that metaphor see what i mean about the writers block“ this? this is you judging yourself while you write and i don’t want to see ANY of that shit. writing is a process and editing is a thing, but when you’re doing your first draft you just gotta word vomit. sorry that’s a gross phrase but that’s what i do. and honestly? most of wwda is barely pieced together word vomit. idek why anyone likes it, but they do. and even if they didn’t--nothing would exist if you don’t put something to paper to start with.

apparently this advice doesn’t apply to everyone (i still can’t process @hella1975 ‘s writing technique like what the actual fuck) but for me one of the big things with writer’s block is starting where i want to start and just writing whatever fucking scenes i want. idk if that makes sense so i’ll put it into the context of wwda. so when i was still in my fucking intensive class i wasn’t writing cause i didn’t have time except for like a few minutes before bed at like 3am. now at 3am i’m not gonna write suki and azula being rivals cause i can barely handle that dynamic when i’m Focused. but at 3am i’m sad as fuck and i generally like to peruse the ao3 dadkoda tag, so instead i just wrote my own dadkoda scenes for much later (although they’re not actually that far off) in the fic. are they gonna need some editing cause i was just like ‘maximum angst even tho this scene is supposed to be about healing’? yes. yes i was. now the other day on the plane (when i really should’ve been working on an essay i didn’t end up finishing) i was like okay, i need to work on something actually relevant to chapter 12. but i’ve worked myself into a corner with my azula & iroh scene so i didn’t want to deal with that bullshit on two hours of sleep and also being called “miss” and other female terms in the airport got me all in the gender feels so i was like oh! i’ll write some more enby aang! and i wrote this like gorgeous passage or two on aang’s gender feels. and yeah, it probably makes no sense for aang cause i wrote it from a pov that was too much me and not enough aang, but the point still remains. i skipped to a part of the chapter that was important to me. and then i realized that aang could be having these thoughts in the context of another scene which led to . . . and there i was with somewhat of a complete thought for the chapter. 

also along those lines, if you’re having writer’s block you gotta look at that block. what’s wrong? is there something wrong with the story up to this point? is there something you don’t like about where you’re going? is there something you really want to write that you’re not letting yourself write? 

cause the thing is, we’re not professional authors. we’re fic writers. we do this for fun cause we love the characters. so if you’re not loving the characters for some reason, you shouldn’t force yourself. take the pressure off yourself. this fandom is so supportive, they’re not going to rush you (literally look at the fact that even as you say you’re excited for wwda you also tell me not to stress) and remember to apply that to yourself. it’s okay to need a break, whether that’s cause the vibes are off or cause you’re tired or any other reason. 

i tried to write a bunch of different thoughts cause i know different things work for different people, i hope at least one of these ideas help. i literally haven’t looked at wwda even though i really want to be writing (and i still haven’t been reading fic). sometimes our brains just don’t cooperate. and yeah, i could sit here and yell at myself and go “what the fuck boom you’ve been looking forward to writing for literal weeks and now you have time and you’re doing other stuff what is wrong with you” and sometimes it’s really tempting to give into that. but the truth is i don’t usually do as much work as i did the past few weeks on as little sleep as i got so i’m really fucking tired. and so i’m giving myself a break. and i’m just not emotionally prepared to read fic cause--oh oops i hadn’t admitted to myself until right this second that i was avoiding fic cause i’m suppressing my feelings that kinda hurt wtf this wasn’t supposed to become therapy hour wtf. but as dumb as all that feels to put, i’m not gonna delete it cause i’m sure you’re gonna read it and say something along the lines of “it’s okay to rest and wait to read/write if that’s what you need!” cause you’re a nice person. so say those things to yourself IF that’s what you need. but if you’ve been sitting in bed for weeks and don’t have any reason not to write, maybe it’s time to word vomit. or if you have a problem with your story maybe you should look at that. just, do whatever works for you but be gentle with yourself. give yourself the same kindness you give others. whenever i’m not sure how to handle something (or how to treat myself ig), i’ll ask myself how i would give advice to a friend. so maybe try that. look at yourself, your writing process, your fic like it’s a friend’s and be like hmm. what would i recommend my friend do? and if weird rambley advice that probably displays my many years of therapy is helpful to you, then know my inbox (and my messages that i swear i’ll answer some day) are always open. i’m not gonna read this over cause i know if i do i’ll be too embarrassed to post so i’m just hoping it’s helpful. much love <3

#ask a boomerang #snakefarm tag #long post

[sparkles-and-trash]

Next Chapter ~

I’ve been talking quite a bit in riddles these last days, and I’m sorry about that! But I’m finally at a place where I can talk about it, which is very freeing and amazing! 

Part 1 ~ In Real Life 

I am in a pretty complicated situation, health wise. 

I have had three scoliosis surgeries since I was 13, which is a huge thing for a body to go through once, so three times while I kept up with school and competitive showjumping was not the best idea. 

After I finished VGS (High School) I tried to go straight for uni, luckily in my home town, and got very, very sick, was in and out of hospitals for months and they never could figure out what it was, and after another couple of months I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS).

I was advised by doctors to take a few years off school and work, which in Norway with welfare you can. I was really struggling with it tho, and kept doing online classes and tried uni again, got hospitalized again, got diagnosed with rheumatism, and then I actually took some time off. 

Last May my horse of 8 years passed away, and I lost a big part of my day-to-day life. So this fall I decided to give uni another go, going with the “I’ll start slow and then do more!” idea. 

And like... it was okay? But it was only one day a week, and I needed a lot of time to get better after each day, usually 2 days. 

I’ve been thinking a lot, but struggling with the idea of “giving up”, when me and my mom had a talk last week. 

We talked about how I have Fountain (horse) 2 days a week which I get paid for, and do my writing on commission for online articles and some magazines in Norwegian, and how that is making me happy, and I get to use my brain and body, without being too drained. 

The idea of not chasing a “normal” goal scares the living hell out of me. All through my illnesses my silver lining have been that one day I’ll go to uni and get a normal job. 

For the first time in 6 years I don’t live by that goal. 

I’m really trying to live my life day by day, and be happy that I’m healthy enough to have my small jobs. That I get health care and welfare, so I could save up and get my amazing apartment. 

I have friends who’s amazing and kind and who gives me time and attention even when. disappear for a while. My family, who helps me out when I need it so I still get to keep my dog and have her be exercised and happy no matter how sick I am. 

Right now, that is enough. Maybe it will be enough forever. Maybe not. 

But that’s not for me to worry about right now. 

Right now I’m gonna live. 

Part 2 ~ On the Line 

So, what does this mean for my online life? 

Not much, really! 

Except, I’m going to have more time to spend on here without feeling bad or guilty! 

I’m going to be better at scheduling my days, and I’m going to spend 3 days writing and 2 art-ing, then the other way around, every week. The writing days my goal is to write 500 words a day, no matter if it’s fit or work or just drabbles, I gotta start somewhere! 

As you may have noticed, I also changed the theme and colors and icon on this blog, and I’m currently very happy with it! 

The main projects here now will be the list of fics I have, finishing THaB, and write at least three one-shots I have planned, and finally start working on the new High School AU. 

I’ll also keep posting about outfits and fashion, take you on my journey to get better at digital art, and my interior and first apartment adventure, and I gotta say I’m super moved by how much people seem to care about that?? 

I’m very excited to see where it goes, and I hope you guys will enjoy it too! 

If you ever have something you’d like to talk about, something you’re not pleased with, need to rant, wanna share something good, head canons and idea, whatever, my inbox is like, always open! 

#long post #kinda #txt #txt post #personal #cfs tag #cfs #irl tag #blog news #apartment tag #pls read

[bohemian-war]

How I met Jack Lowden…

Hi guys!

Just come from seeing Jack in MFM and even when I have met lots of celebrities in my life, this is probably one of the best experiences I’ve ever had when it comes to meeting an actor. 

I am gonna try to make this short since it’s quite late and I’ve got a massive headache. Enjoy!

So everything started when it was announced that Jack was gonna be in a new play in London. I am from Spain, however, I live in the UK now so I am lucky enough to be able to see lots of musicals and plays every day. 

When the tickets came out early this year, I bought them straight away. I did not even think about it for a second. In fact, I can’t believe that I bought them months ago and the whole thing is now gone. Time really flies!

I’ve been doing and covering both premieres and events for almost six years now as I work in the entertainment industry and I get to cover these and meet celebrities–in a professional way–for free so I’ve had my moments of starstruck, believe me. Especially when I met Tom Hanks or when I bumped into Aneurin Barnard a couple of weeks ago in the street (these are stories that can be told in a different time).

Unfortunately, since I moved to London two years ago, my work schedule–I am working in a theatre now–is a weird one, so I don’t have time to cover events as much as I used to do so in the past. This–alongside my self-esteem, anxiety, and depression issues–have made me become quite shy and to lose my “touch” when it comes to meeting actors. Now I am scared of approaching them! To the point that I have been rehearsing what I wanted to say to Jack for a whole week!

Since last Monday, the only thing I’ve done is overthinking things. “What if I don’t cause a good impression?” “What if he thinks I am crazy?” “What if I cannot talk due to my anxiety?” “What if my anxiety plays tricks on me again as it did with Aneurin?” Anyways, I started to look at all these fan pictures from last Friday and I was jealous of the fact that they could talk to him and I perfectly knew that I was not gonna be able to do the same thing. 

Today, my friend sent me a text saying that she had got last minute tickets and that she was coming with me. I immediately felt relieved because even when there was a minimum percentage that I couldn’t get anything from Jack unless she was gonna be there to support me so that was a plus.  We got to the Donmar two hours and a half before the performance began. We wanted to try to see if we could spot Jack. Obviously, we were not gonna stay there more than what it was necessary, so if he wasn’t around we would leave. Luckily, he left the building with two other actors from the play, we saw this and approached him nicely. He was on his break chatting and having a cigarette so this is when I was starting to get into a panicky kind of mood because he was definitely seeing us approaching him from afar and I didn’t want to have any “problems” with him. 

When he was about to leave, we called him and he turned around. He is BEAUTIFUL! So blonde and with those gorgeous blue eyes. So tall and skinny. Did I say he is literally the most BEAUTIFUL human being in the entire planet and that he must be protected at all costs? My friend and I basically had the shortest conversation ever. We told him that we were big fans of his, that we were there to see the show and that we needed to kill two hours and a half. He was so pleased when we let him know that we were there for him and to see the show. You cannot even imagine. He felt so relieved! We asked him for a picture and voilá:

(That’s even a coats match *_*). I quickly asked him if he could sign my Dunkirk Blu-ray and he told me that he would be delighted to do it after the show and he also told me that he’d be leaving via the fire exit (thanks to everybody here who helped me with that because some people in the theatre tried to fool us but Jack himself let us all know that he’d definitely be coming out through the back door). He finally asked me if I knew where the fire exit was otherwise he could show me. I said yes. Now that I think about it tho, I wouldn’t have minded a small tour haha.  After this, my friend and I went for a coffee and wait till seven to collect our tickets. The main “problem” is that my friend and I had different seats, however, people at the Donmar Box Office know me–as I work for the same company and I am very good friends with all of them–so we ended up getting a last minute upgrade. We were meant to be in the fourth and second rows and we finished sitting in the middle section of the first row!!! Jack was literally in front of us all the time!!! (Every time that he looked at me, I was literally dying inside. And he did it more than once! He is just so beautiful. I just wanna die T_T). 

Anyways, I cannot stress enough how incredible the play was and everybody was amazing but both Jack and Hayley were astonishing. I don’t even have words. In fact, I am not gonna give anything away as a) they’re still on previews and things are gonna keep changing when it comes to the play in the next couple of days (in fact, the play was shortened 15 minutes today); b) there’s not enough time to say everything. I thought I had seen it all with the ravishing performance of Andrew Scott in Hamlet or the astounding performance of Mark Rylance in Othello but this was in a whole different level, I can tell you. Go to see Measure for Measure if you have the chance. You are not gonna regret it! I might actually go again because it was amazing! (If you’ve seen the play and would like to discuss it with me, my inbox is now open :)).  After the show, we went to the back to wait for Jack. There were people already there and I was panicking AGAIN! I wanted to see him but I didn’t wanna be there at the same time. In fact, I was feeling that I was bothering him with my stupid presence. I already had my picture and I had seen the play. What else could I ask for? It took him about fifteen minutes to come out but he definitely did it and he was so happy to see us. BLESS HIM! Most of the fans were from Asia (especially South Korea) but us (a.k.a.the Spaniards haha). Guys, I am not even kidding, Jack spent at least 45 minutes with all of us after the show!!! After a three-hour-and-ten-minutes play, I had never seen a so well-mannered and dedicated person to his fans ever!!! He was probably exhausted and he still had time for his fans and to make jokes non-stop. He signed everything from programs and DVDs/Blu Rays to drawings. A beautiful fan drew him in Fonzo and he was blown away by the result! I literally have lots of pics, videos, and memories from the encounter. In addition, I’d like to keep most of them to myself because I’d like this to be a very special moment between Jack and me. Because it was so beautiful that I don’t want it to be spoiled. I wanna retain it in my mind forever. But I am just gonna say that we both talked about Dunkirk LOADS and when I mentioned that I first saw him in The Passing Bells he was very surprised. He answered with an amazing “Nooooo Shut Up! Are you kidding?” I told him that I am a massive History geek and he answered that he loves History too. Then that led to Mary, Queen of Scots and other projects (Fonzo etc). He was so flattered when we mentioned them all to him. When he was signing my program he was surprised by my name (he said that it is beautiful. BEAUTIFUL! *_*) and he even added an “España” (Spain) to the signature. He told me that he once went to Cadiz (South of Spain) and that he’d love to go to Madrid, which is where I am from :). I told him that I might do a trip to Scotland soon and this cheered him up even more. He also talked about his parents living in Asia and how he got to go to Asia when he was a child and that he’d love to go back one day. After this, we both hugged endlessly (he revealed to us that he’s living on his own at the moment so he needs lots of hugs awww :’)), we took lots of pics and videos and we chatted for hours. We all even joked about having a coffee together to discuss the play. Unfortunately, it was quite late but I bet that, on a different occasion, Jack would have said yes.  You can see lots of videos of us here. I am the redhead asking questions all the time haha. Now I feel bad for not letting the others speak. Sorry :(. Thank you @uoize for the amazing videos and pics as well! Here you are a few of the ones I took (I include the one with Hayley as well):

He’s signing my Dunkirk Blu Ray here. I have more than five editions of the film and I took the German one with me as it’s the one with Collins on the cover. He was taken by surprise when we told him that he is in every 4K Blu Ray edition of the film all around the world and he said that he’d like to buy one copy. When we told him it was already sold out he blamed us for buying all the copies. 

(Another pic with Jack. This time a selfie taken by him. P.S. The background of the pic has been edited as some people in the pic requested me not to be seen). The last thing I did was thank him for everything he’s done so far. I told him that he was so nice (he told me that I was very nice as well and that I could calm down around him. No need to be nervous) and that it was so great of him that he dedicates so much time to his fans when he shouldn’t be. Again, he was taken by surprise and with a puppy face, he replied “Of course, don’t be silly! I love it. Also, you came to see the show guys so it’s the least I can do!” Jacks is everything I wanted him to be and so much more!!! I don’t think I will ever meet someone like him again in my life. I truly wish him the best and I am sure he’s gonna smash it because he simply deserves the world. I’ve been to the theatre so many times and I`ve seen so many great musicals and plays. I’ve met lots of fans but nothing so close and welcoming as today. Thanks, everybody for making this possible!

Lots of love!

xx

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