#still dont know if i like that one

[teafromthemicrowave]

Oliver Banks.

#drawing the tentacles was so much fun wha #still dont know if i like that one #but it took too long to not post it #the magnus archives #tma #oliver banks #magpod #tma fanart #artfromthemicrowave

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[faunandfloraas]

Honestly I think a lot of people who have never made a gif for tumblr don't get that it does actually take time and effort, its not just rip it from a video and post it- you have to download the video, in my case I have a video player installed that grabs continuous caps, figure out what parts you need, you have to open those in photoshop or gimp, depending on where you got photoshop you might be paying for it every month and then on top of that is actually sizing, cropping, colouring, sharpening, adding text, etc. etc. like it is something that takes time and effort for which the only real reward is creating something that makes you happy and hopefully people reblog it with a nice or funny tag, so maybe keep that in mind the next time you think gif makers are being mean or unfair for being upset about reposts. It is its own little artform that is fairly unique to this website, and that's a big aspect of why I have always loved tumblr, if all the gifmakers stopped posting things would be a lot more boring around here.

#like its well known reposting art or fic is rude so idk why gifs are free game #and why people are always so ~its just a gif~ okay well if its *just* a gif then you go and make one to that quality #oh wait you cant bc it actually does take time and practice #ive been at this for years and i still dont know all the tips and tricks #also the reason i mention all the software needed is bc like. you have to find install learn and it takes up space on the drive #so just reblog stuff and appreciate people that make fun content

[musubiki]

i firmly believe she got picked as a judge just to counteract his vibes

#genshin impact #nilou #alhaitham #art #fanart #based on that one scene where cyno is being cyno and shes so ^_^ #meanwhile alhaitham.... #that one dialouge where shes like (who do you thinks gonna win!!) and he goes (whoever does the challenge fastest) #my dude you are stuck there all day with her at least pretend to converse #hes law and order and shes there to keep the contestants encourages and hopeful #i still like to think they are the most unlikely of friends #i dont know how but they are #these two are also unironically my murder team #put nilous bloom with alhaithams crazy dendro application and every domain becomes trivial

[delicourse]

i miss them a little if im gonna be honest

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #kageyama shigeo #kageyama ritsu #hanazawa teruki #tome kurata #tsubomi takane #shou suzuki #deliart #i meant for the image to be like. after the end but i also didnt think about the hairstyle changes. sorry...... #also i know i was like shou 100% has dwarf hamsters since he got 2 but u know what i dont care. golden hamster stan for life #im planning on getting one i've been checking out breeders near me so i can get a proper healthy one. there are so many good ones here too #i already am thinking on what color im gonna go for..getting picky even. something like offwhite.. silver pearl.. silver dove.. silver mink #jurys still out on wether im gonna get another female or not #i do love how big ladies get and their intense energy and work ethic. truly the most passionate creatures i've ever come across. inspiring. #but a lazy fluffy guy that just sits around and washes his balls all day does seem easier. less likely to climb my curtains. #i got distracted i love hamsters so much. look at my mop drawing now everyone

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[cloudyydraws]

more mario and luigi doodles but i took their mouths away

+ extra unfinished stuff under the cut

#the dear doppelganger weeg one is purely self indulgent bc ive been playing it on loop recently im normal #and i know doppelganger is a different whole thing than what he has but. hey its ok we ball #more spm on the way (i hope!!!!!! as long as i dont get distracted by avemuji or sekai for a bit) #most of this was practicing mario bc i still dont like the way i draw him tbh but i think we're getting somewhere #shoutout priv twt oomfies for dealing with my mario fix bullshit youre all so real #drawing these little guys is so much different from my other little guys i think thats why ive liked drawing them so much constantly #it just feels fresh for me!! i just get to fuck around when i draw them its fun to experiment again #ok done talking i like them a normal amount #mario and luigi #mario #luigi #super mario bros fanart #super mario bros #super mario fanart #spm #super paper mario #mr l #starlow #smb #super mario brothers #mario bros #mario fanart #art #fanart #my art #cloudy draws #nintendo #nintendo fanart

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

#note: this is a kitchen in a house of change. they are still on the road w the party #not to say i think that maybe chillin out in one location with some loved ones and planned visits from their friends would fix siffrin #but i am saying that they do seem to hoard random items at every given oppertunity. which is an interesting habit #isat #isat fanart #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #isat spoilers #sifloop #isat siffrin #isat loop #sloops #lucabyteart #but yeah no i dont actually know that siffrin would wwwant to be . travelling literally forever. given the. well. um #that one QnA answer especially. the immediate deflective joking when asked how long they'd been a traveller. mm. #it's not like they chose this life is the thing. and we know they have a habit of forcing themselves to 'stick to the script' #i really do think they'd be better for some stability. its not like you cant have a house and also go on fun travel holidays also #(if you want my real opinion. why not just move to bambouche to help raise bonnie. but. that's fanfic territory at that point)

[milkbreadtoast]

idk how i want to draw him yet and not ready to make a srs attempt but here's a bad kdj phone doodle lol🚶🏻

#orv #kim dokja #omniscient reader's viewpoint #my art #oh yeah i didnt have ref for this fkdnfn was going off memory of the last (first) time i drew him #i cant do a serious attempt tho bc i havent read the novel so i dont have a clear image of him in my head yet... #(dont want to just copy the webtoon design hastily... if it matches my image thats fine but... idk yet) #my main opinion on the webtoon design is he's too hot/ikemen tho KFJDKDJ (this is what i thought since the beginning) #its like BONES mp100 anime reigen.... kdj is like manga reigen to me /j #but who knows maybe if i catch kdj brainrot i too will start drawing him like a kpop idol out of affection...🤷🏻‍♂️ #like the webtoon artist prob draws kdj pretty bc they love him sm #just like how i draw jys pretty bc of my brainrot... #so who knows maybe that will happen to me too🤷🏻‍♂️ time will tell #my main opinion on webtoon yjh (no one asked): CUTE BUT WHERES THE T1TTY BEL- *voice muffled as i get dragged away* #(copied most of these tags from twit too lazy to retype the commentary) #EDIT: i call him reigen jokingly bc theyre abt the same age but #kdj is also mob core to me.... #in that theyre both protags that dont look flashy and look more like extras/'mob charas' #yet r irrevocably unequivocably the protags of their respective stories #(just as everyone is the protag of your own life! sieze ur narrative! etcetc🖤) #also. both black haired bowlcut havers KJDJS #kdj is reigen coded (derogatory) and mob coded (POS) #hes also a 'con man like reigen..... yep hes def still reigen coded

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[apathyfairy]

last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3

#for real though im so happy i cant even lie like i regretted selling my wii soooooo much but anyway im back baby <3 #im disinfecting everything rn bc i have a germ problem but once it it's done.....i am SO back #when i first got it i didnt have the remote right so i couldnt plug it in and make sure that it worked but i did just plug it into an outle #to make sure it ran and it did and wii sports resort popped out of the drive so thats fun bc i didnt have that one #and anyway i might cry when i hear the menu sound ngl ngl. #but the city i live in is like an overgrown retirement home and so the goodwill is full of old people things and this wii had stickers #like explaining which cord was which so i just know it was a wii that they bought for like grandmas house and only played it when they were #over there so anyway cant wait to see what's on there and if the news channel and weather channel are still on the homepage even though #i dont think they work anymore lol #also shoutout to the type a kid who kept their wiimote in such perfect condition that i wanted to cry when i saw it sitting on the shelf #ty <3

[lucy-bladeshield]

Can you imagine how terrified Aelwyn must be? Her baby sister and her dumb friends have just said the name of a dead god and the world went mad, and they went into the briefcase of the one named The Ball and the one with the dead god casted a ward of death on you. And now it's been who knows how long and spell after spell you try and cast won't open the briefcase?

#and gilear weeping over the case wanting his daughter back #and just not knowing what's happening in it #but knowing something bad is happening #and thats your little sister #the only one left in the world who truly understands you and loves you #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high junior year #the bad kids #fhjy #fantasy high #like i dont see anyone else talking about those outside the briefcase #what if theyre stuck in there #and tracker?? shes probably distraught over wolfing out traumatically again and now her ex (who shes still into) is trapped in a suitcase #blade speaks

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a funny lil flower that suits a funny lil guy

#im so normal about flower symbolism < lying lying lying Lying #(pointing) SEE! SEE! I CAN DO MORE THAN SCRIBBLES!!! #AHA! I CAN DO MORE THAN ONE THING!!!! #that being said im never doing lineless again <3 #No Thank You! #it was not enjoyable! i did not have a good time! #it killed my already subpar mood! #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #wally darling #i... dont like this still! #but i dont know how to fix it and im tired of looking at it <3 #oh well! there will be hits and misses! #you all might like it far more than i'd expect. you Never know!

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.