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starrywangxian · 7 months

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ofmd ep 6&7 predictions

okay so because season 2 has, so far, been paralleling season 1 pretty well recently. here are my predictions for season 2 episode 6 and 7 based on season 1 episode 6 and 7

episode 6

they fuck (based on izzy thinking the "run me through" scene is blackbonnet fucking and we've had some interesting shirtless in-bed promo stills for the next episodes soooo)

another fuckery happens (based on the promotional drag stills for the next episodes??? a drag fuckery??? to parallel the fabulousness of the dutch fuckery in season 1)

the swede sings again with a quick trip to spanish jackie's of course (listen, i just want to hear him sing again)

i have to see stede reach out for ed's shoulder and i need to see ed lean his head on stede again please and thank you

also we had a big backstory reveal from ed, what if we get the same from stede??? stede tells ed why he left him and everything that the british bloke twat said to him (!!!! i will eat my own hands if this happens)

another STEDE AND IZZY DUEL!!!! please that would be so good after seeing izzy train stede and then seeing his improvement!!!! stede getting an izzy approval thumbs up???? it has to happen please

frenchie calling izzy a cheeky bitch again (but this time affectionately)

roach has already done his "i made you a sandwich for the trip" in the previous episodes of season 2 but let that man make more sandwiches and throw them at people's heads

episode 7

fun fact: this was my favourite episode of season 1!!

a tea party please (with a dollop of milk and seven sugars!!)

i need to see an orange cake, justice for roach fr

a beach episode and they go searching for crabs in rock pools or smth as ridiculous as pirates going on a hunt for treasure with a tatty overpriced treasure map

lucius slaying again. "you can't stab me in the face now" is one of his best lines in the whole show. idk who or what he's slaying but i need to see it again - perhaps lucius finally gets closure with ed by saying his hand was bitten off by a snake or smth

a jim, olu and archie date with some backstory thrown in

ed gets out of his cat collar punishment and is promoted to co-captain once again, over drinks, with the whole crew this time, at spanish jackie's (perhaps this is where the scene in the trailer where stede is acting like a party animal is from)

#a lot of this is just me projecting i won't lie #just let me dream okay #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd 2 #our flag means death season 2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season two #ofmd s2 speculation #ofmd s01e06 #ofmd s01e07 #ofmd 2 speculation #ofmd season 2 speculation #starrywangxian #you queue fine things well

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xxbranch-dressingxx · 7 months

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My name is Geoff/ Geoffery, im 28 years old FTM and use he/it pronouns (mostly he, fine with either.)

I am polyamorous, bisexual, and single (Ladies, gents, nonbinary folk)

My favorite colors are orange, red, black, and dark grey. I'm a Libra. I have Tummy Issues TM And I LOVE doing meta and media analysis, almost as a hobby, so some of my posts get a bit long.

For a short list of things I like and may cycle through reblogging:

Our Flag Means Death

The Magnus Archives

Crochet

The Sims 4

DND

Dropout Tv/ Collage humor

I'm not GREAT at tagging reblogs, this includes spoilers, all my original posts are tagged tho. The main tags i'm using at this time are (i'll add to this over time):

#geoff leaks for personal posts

#Noxious Gas for rants/vents. Please don't reblog.

#stizzy real is for all my OFMD Stede/ Izzy posts and reblogs

Some things to note before interacting with my posts (if you care) or sending asks:

I am, and always will be, a Steadyhands truther, an Izzy-enjoyer, and a Stede enthusiast. I am a bit more critical of Ed due to personal reasons that have nothing to do with him as a character, but I do enjoy him.

I am queer and live in the south. I think these are very important things to know about me, personally, because I AM a bit of a redneck and may not have the most refined or "correct" takes abt certain aspects of the Queer community. Nothing hateful, I'm still learning. As we all are all the time.

My Ask Box IS OPEN please send me asks I Love them so fucking much.

Please! Add to my posts! Confess your sins in my tags! I love it!

420 friendly babeee. (on a detox rn due to some medical issues)

Alcoholism is a sore subject for me, as are discussions of abuse and abandonment by parental figures. I'm open to discussion of these things and fine with it being brought up in a joking or light manner, but I may start sounding Alcohol critical and thats not a personal attack and please don't take it as one!

Also going on some new ADHD/anxiety meds so i may be a bit all over the place. I'm not sure yet.

I write Fic!

My AO3 Username is Gaspipe_Geoff!!!

Check it out for all my completed fics and one shots/ abandoned (emotionally) wips. Mostly Steadyhands and CjIzzy stuff but I branch out from time to time.

My Ongoing Fics are:

Dog Whistle (Pay attention to tags): Steadyhands fic where Izzy and Stede dip their toes in pet play while Izzy works out his post reunion feelings abt Ed (written pre-season2.) (9/? Chapters)

Babysteps: Steadyhands fluff with some minor hurt comfort, modern AU where Izzy and Ed have been roommates for almost 20 years and get stuck in a platonic relationship where they act as each others' partners without ever discussing the possibility of being more. Izzy has a rocky past relationship with Jack that leads to Izzy as a "single" parent Coparenting his and Jack's baby with Ed while Ed starts a relationship with Stede. (5/?? Chapters)

Cat's In The Cradle: CjIzzy, Izzy Leaves the revenge after Captain Hornigold shows up to team up with Ed due to discovering the last time he and jack saw each other he caught a bad case of pregnancy. Jim Goes with him and they meet up with Pete to try and hunt Stede and the others down as well. (7/8 Chapters, on a bit of a hiatus)

#geoff leaks #this got so long but i needed a pinned post i think

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notfromcold · 1 year

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Safe

Modern AU Ed has a bad PTSD day. But he has everything he needs to get through it.

"Honey, can I get you some tea or water and a little something to eat? So you don't dehydrate?" Stede rubbed his hand up and down Ed's shoulder, holding him close in their bed as Ed cried into his chest. Ed nodded. He'd been crying for most of the day. He'd stop and then get to thinking and start again.

"Do you want to come with?" Stede asked, as though he knew that Ed didn't feel entirely safe alone in their big bed. He probably did know, come to think of it. Ed nodded into Stede's chest again.

"Alright, love. Let's get up." Stede coaxed Ed from under the covers and immediately covered him with the robe that had been warming on the radiator. Ed's breath hitched at the thoughtfulness. Stede put a blanket around his shoulders for good measure and Ed padded out of the bedroom in Stede's wake.

It wasn't dark out, just rainy, but Stede turned the lights on in the kitchen and turned up the heat as though they were not planning on going straight back to bed. Marmalade the cat, always perceptive in contrast to all other orange cats everywhere, gave Ed a concerned meow and jumped on his lap as soon as he sat at the counter.

Ed laughed, running a hand through her soft fur. "I think I worried her."

Stede smiled, putting the kettle on and slicing cinnamon raisin bread for toast. "She loves you. We all do."

When the tea and toast were done, Stede put them on a tray and Ed scooped up Marmalade despite her squawk of indignation at being scooped, and they all went back upstairs. Stede turned the lights on in the bedroom and lit a vanilla scented candle. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah. Could we watch Labyrinth?"

"Of course." Stede set up the movie and crawled back in bed, sitting behind Ed and pulling him close as Marmalade settled in Ed's lap.

Ed sipped his tea and nuzzled into Stede's shoulder. Nothing was fixed and he was still very sad. But he was safe and loved.

#ofmd #self indulgent!#ptsd cw #ofmd fic

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blkbonnet · 1 year

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Thinking about this art by @mattewkanada and imagining them sat there on deck just casually comparing rings. Stede makes a comment about how lovely the ruby is and how it’s never been a colour he’s really worn. He’s not sure if it’s for him. Ed doesn’t agree and takes it off before confidently putting it on Stede’s finger. Whoever told him what colours he could and could not wear deserves to be thrown overboard with cannonballs tied around their ankles. "You look good in everything, mate.” He smiles as he points down at Stede’s hand as if that proves his point. Stede pulls his gaze away from Ed’s face and looks down at his hand and finds himself marvelling at the jewel. It really does look lovely, although he doubts that has anything to do with him and everything to do with the fact it belongs to Ed.

He immediately offers to give Ed one of his own rings. “The turquoise one, perhaps?” He says it’s always been his favourite. The colour, he explains, is how he kept the ocean close to him when it felt so far away. An impossible dream that got him through the monotony. "My true heart, if you will.” Ed is almost glad Stede is still staring down at the ring because he’s sure his face would give away just how much his own heart is beating for this man. His own impossible dream made true. Despite the meaning behind the ring, Stede doesn’t hesitate as he takes it off and reaches for Ed’s hand. Stede has to try several of Ed’s fingers before finding one it fits. It’s something they both have a good giggle about, completely oblivious to the fact Lucius is watching from afar clutching at his chest. Black Pete hears the steady stream of ohmygodohmygodohmygod and also looks over. By the time the co-captains are sat there, hands out in front of them and fingers spread as they look lovingly between each other and their new rings, half the crew have stopped what they’re doing and are watching. The rest of the crew hear about it within minutes. But Ed and Stede are still only paying attention to each other. They carry on sitting there, talking about everything and nothing, until they eventually move on with their day. Thinking very little about the swapped rings now sitting proudly on their fingers.

Lucius is the first to express how happy he is for them. Stede is rather baffled at the seemingly random outburst but thanks him anyway. Black Pete joyfully slaps Ed on the back and finds himself immediately pinned to the mast. Ed drops him as soon as he realises he’s a friend not a foe but he’s too busy fighting the adrenaline to hear any of the congratulations. Although by the time dinner comes around it’s quite obvious to them both that something weird is going on. Roach bringing out another forty orange glaze cake only confirms it. But everyone is just so happy that they decide to simply join in with the celebrations and have a wonderful night too.

It’s not until the following morning that it hits Stede. He’s woken up slowly, the early sun hitting the new ring on his finger where it’s still resting on Ed’s chest. He looks at it and thinks of Ed. Almost as if sensing it, Ed sleepily reaches for his hand and links their fingers together and falls back to sleep. Stede smiles at their joined hands and seeing the rings next to each other only heightens that feeling he’s still getting used to. Yet it’s right in front of him now. His heart in Ed’s hands, quite literally. It feels so right. Better than any dream. He thinks this is how it should have felt when-

“ED! ED! Wake up! They think we’re engaged!”

Ed, who does not wake up, only snuggles back into his pillow and lazily replies. “Well we usually are at this time of the day but I think that cake took it out of me,” he rubs his exposed belly with his other hand, “I’m good to sleep for another few hours”, and rolls over much like a cat would in a sun spot.

Stede gets distracted by the first bit because well, he’s not wrong, and then again by the belly. Ed not being a fan of sleepwear is something he still can’t decide is a bad thing or a very, very good thing... Then he remembers why he woke him in the first place. So he averts his eyes back to Ed’s face and carries on with his revelation. That wakes Ed up. He looks up at Stede with more vulnerability in his eyes than either of them are ready for.

“And is that… a bad thing?”

Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that. It catches Stede completely off guard. Marriage is something that has only filled him with dread his entire life. But he lets himself imagine it now with Ed and…

“No. No, it’s not.” The only thing that scares Stede is how easy it was to get to that answer. But then he realises it was easy because it was honest. This life with Ed is better than any dream. He not only can imagine being tied to him for the rest of his life, he wants it. This, him, them. Forever. They’re both smiling at each other (like the lovesick idiots they are) as they both wordlessly come to the same conclusion.

They don’t emerge from their quarters until well into the afternoon but when they do, they do it hand in hand and freshly engaged.

#our flag means death #ofmd #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #ed teach #gentlebeard #accidental engagement anyone?#this has no doubt been done before but I just couldn’t stop once I started writing #text #mypost

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dragonmuse · 2 years

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We had a fun bit of panic last night when a rather large (dollar coin) orange cat-face spider caught a ride in from the outdoors on my wife, so. How would each of the characters react to a large but probably harmless spider? Who’d be calmly grabbing a cup to take it outside and who’d be screaming and burning the house down?

Oooh excellent:

Jim- Calmly takes care of it, zero reaction. Freaks the fuck out internally the whole time.

Oluwande- Freaks out externally, heavy breathing, but very gently gets the spider out. No dying on his watch!

Roach- 'No men, no gods, no fucking spiders in my kitchen' uses his cleaver to pick it up and get it the hell out of there.

Frenchie -Absolutely the fuck not, will not scream, but will climb on furniture.

John- Totally with Oluwande, freaking out, but no one is allowed to hurt it either. Will eventually get it out if no one else can handle it.

Pete- Blusters about how he's not afraid, totally no big deal guys....and if no one else does anything will have to actually step up, having a worse internal conniption than Jim.

Lucius- 'Jesus Christ, you guys, it's a spider.' Picks it up with a cup in one move and yeets it out the window. Listens to John scold him with an eye roll as he makes himself another cup of coffee.

Stede- 'Oh! Gorgeous! Look, honey, it's a wolf spider! Wonderful creatures. Let me get a bit of paper, it can crawl on...ah! Hello lovely thing, I think you would be much happier elsewhere. Eddy, darling, can you get the door?'

Eddy- If with Stede, 'Yeah,yes, Door. On it. Getting it out of our fucking house, great.' On her own....well. Hope the spider had a nice life cause it's over now.

Izzy- 'Sweeney...motherfucker', but assuming the cat doesn't murder it, Izzy will. Very calmly assassinated. Sorry, my dude!

Read- Absolute crawling horrors, if no one else is around, she will also deal with it, but she will be whimpering and having the shakes the whole time.

Anne- Eh. It's not her thing, but she can take it outside just fine. Might wash her hand thoroughly after.

Charlie- Team Jim, calm cool collected, can even do the whole 'rattles off scientific name' etc, internally having a total meltdown. Except with Felix because...

Felix- 'Aw, cool! Hey, a aranha, how'd you get in here, huh? Must be confusing, let's get you back outside.'

#leda house and the kraken verse #ask answered

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captainanndor · 2 years

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For my 39th birthday, a friend and I made Roach’s 40 Orange Glaze Cake from Our Flag Means Death! We then set up a little scene and did a photoshoot for it. More under the cut!

I went a bit wild with buying stuff for this, because I was hyped and it was nice retail therapy to deal with stress at work, lol. I also wanted to include lots of little references to Our Flag Means Death and the characters without going for 100% screen-accurate as though it was Stede’s cabin. Cuz I am *Captain* Anndor for a reason, haha. So there’s a tons of my own stuff/interests in there as well, but for the show specific references: Jim: Dagger Oluwande: Turquoise beads Frenchie: Cat Wee John: Black stars (like his face tattoos) Swede: "Voice of an angel" wings w/ orange bead for scurvy Lucius: Sketchbook w/ art :3 (it’s an intentionally poorly drawn dick, censored here because I don’t know Tumblr rules about non-realistic dick art, but it’s uncensored on Twitter! XD) Pete: Belt horseshoe Buttons: Mermaid (love this fan theory) Karl & Olivia: Feathers Roach: THE CAKE Fang: Fang necklace Ivan: Gold "teeth" Izzy: Swallow tattoo Stede: Unicorn, fine fabrics Ed: Kraken, red silk scrap Blackbonnet: Lighthouse, (bluebird of) happiness while sharing a ship (dish), "Journey into China" book, depression robe fabric The fern. "Pirates of Nassau" mini treasure chest* (aka from the gift shop in Republic of Pirates after it got touristy and gentrified XD) . Fancy tea set. Purple jacket and blue/silver fabrics for Ed and Stede's fancy party outfits. *(I actually bought that mini chest IN Nassau, at the Pirate Museum, months & months before OFMD ever aired, haha. Part of the reason I love the show so hard is that it already aligned w/ my interests. That and "it's not too late to find love if even if you're past 40" really speaks to me, lolol) I made a thread over on Twitter with the entire process broken down, and a bunch more photos! You can find it here: CAKE THREAD!

#ofmd #our flag means death #roach's 40 orange glaze cake #cake #pirate #pirates #captain anndor #anndor in real life #birthday

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butchybats · 1 year

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First lines game

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you've written less than ten, don't be shy and share anyway

I was tagged by @keepoffthetardis thank you! <33

I’ve only published 5 works so I’m also going to be including 5 of my most recent wips :3

1. Sunshine filters in through a stained glass window, casting the shop in an orange cozy glow that has Stede pausing before the door to bask in its warmth. (I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in gold (oh my beautiful one))

2. Tonight is finally the night that Guillermo has been waiting for all month; the night where he gets to dress in his sultriest outfit and cover himself in fake blood (important to note that it is in fact fake) and blur the lines between scary and sexy- for what is a vampire if not somebody who makes the blood drain from your face and rush down to your dick? (Baby you’re a haunted house)

3. Candles are strewn about the cheap motel room, some placed on the counter, a few on the nightstand, and most sitting precariously on the carpet. (Borrowed dreams, hollowed reveries)

4. Desire engulfs Guillermo, warming him from head to toe like a glass of red wine and curling in his lower stomach, consuming almost, as he holds Nandor on either side of his collar and walks him back to the door of his own crypt, lips never breaking contact with each other. (I’m not a snack (I’m the whole damn meal))

5. Dark gray cushions stare back at Daniel as he desperately tries to focus on something other than the two vampires sitting across from him, one in the midst of recounting his life story- the microphone on Daniel’s computer with the sensitivity turned all the way up is how he justifies not raptly listening- the other sitting uncomfortably close to him, knees and hips touching as if he’d never heard of personal space, his pointed nails typing away incessantly on a fucking iPad. (Push it away but it all comes back again)

6. Lately, Daniel’s taken to frequenting the nearby cafe as the sun begins to set- the thought being that he won’t be attacked by vampires in a public space.

7. Surprised- and more than a little impressed- at being thrown into the wall by Louis, it takes Lestat a moment to gather himself enough to rush in front of the door, panic coursing through him at the realization that Louis fully intended on stepping out into the day.

8. Ignoring the scene unfolding in front of him, and how it makes something that’s definitely not jealousy bloom in his cheeks, Daniel pulls out his phone to ask google the question that’s been burning in the back of his mind since Rashid pulled out the chair next to Louis for the second night in a row.

9. At first, Lestat suggesting that they bring home a stray cat was only a joke.

10. Vampirism was supposed to fix everything for Guillermo.

Tagging: @partiallyobscure @spinecorset @mhaccunoval @tiptapricot @g0sts @puentera and anyone else who wants to can say i tagged them!

#big fan of how short the last two are compared to the rest #also of course no obligation to do it if i tagged you #ray says stuff

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nicnacsnonsense · 8 months

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📖

Okay Dark Lord of Derkholm AU. I don't believe you've read that book from what I recall of our Dianne Wynne Jones conversation, so I will be sure to explain the relevant parts of the plot as we go.

Our setting is a world that vibes similar to a standard fantasy setting -- which is a key plot point -- and they have a serious problem. The Badminton Twins who are business men who forty years ago managed to capture a demon, which they use as leverage to make the demon king do their bidding. (I have no strong feelings on who should be the demons, but I do think it would be funny if it were Mary and Doug, and since the demon king does help our protagonists, but really only to secure freedom for himself & his mate, it works). Their bidding being to force the upholding of a contract the people of this world signed to hold Badminton's Pilgrim Parties.

Every year they have to do up their world to look like an even more exaggerated and tropey version of a fantasy setting, all of which must conform to the Badminton's exact very racist and sexist expectations, and give a fantasy world quest to 100+ parties of about 20 Pilgrims (people from our world) which culminates in them defeating the Dark Lord and saving the world. They are paid for this service, but it's significantly less than what the Badmintons earn selling the experience, and also significantly less than the cost of running it in resource and labor on the people in the world.

(It's a colonialism. The whole story is an anti-colonialism & -capitalism allegory that's honestly pretty light on the allegory part of it.)

Our story starts with Spanish Jackie, Chancellor of the Wizard University, having an emergency meeting with a number of other various guild leaders, heads of state, high priests, etc. etc. About how they are going to stop the Pilgrim Parties. Their plan is to go see the two Oracles and do what both of them say. The instructions come down as make the first person you see the Dark Lord and the second person you see the Wizard Guide for the last tour group. Upon exiting the second Oracle, the first two people they see are Stede and his younger human son Olu.

Stede is regarded by people in this universe to be just as cringefail as he is in canon. He did technically graduate from the University and is a wizard, but he did very poorly. The trouble was he couldn't seem to conform to what was required of him -- which was to perform to specific standards to cater to the Pilgrim Party economy -- and only wanted to do his own magic that he was good at. The University was a very traumatizing experience for him and decimated his self-esteem, but he now has a beautiful farm/estate with a whole bevy of animals and a loving husband and many children where he is very happy and can focus on the type of magic he likes (or at least he could until this whole Dark Lord thing interrupted).

His preferred magic is kind of like a biology magic, I guess? Plants and animals. He's super great at using magic to grow any kind of plant. Nana, a high priestess/queen of one region, gives him an orange that she bought off of a Pilgrim because she is fully confident Stede will be able to use the pips from this fruit that isn't native to their entire world to grow a whole grove of orange trees. And as far as animals, at his home he has flying pigs, flying talking horses, Friendly Cows (they are so fucking dumb, but they have kind eyes), invisible cats, super intelligent geese (which tbf, I'm pretty sure are just normal cats & geese), etc. etc.

As to his children, Frenchie is the eldest. He's in training to become a bard. And I already mentioned Olu, who is the next oldest and who wants to train to be a wizard. These two are probably adopted in this version of the story. And then we move on to his & his husband's biological kids.

Pete is the oldest, and he and Olu are often refer to as the twins since they are about the same age. Pete is also a humongous black griffin. Yeah, so Stede took some of his cells, his husband's cells, cells from a lioness, and some cells from an eagle, did some kind of magic, put it in an egg, and out hatched a baby griffin, who is also a whole sapient person. John, Roach, and Swede (and possible Ivan & Fang, haven't decided on that) are their other griffin children.

For the rest of the crew, starting with Lucius, he is an elf prince in this one. He and his people are supposed to pose as dark elves and the Dark Lords minions. Stede manages to get Lucuis to agree to give him some additional help because (and this is different than the book) Lucius is into Pete. Lucius the elf is dtf the massive griffin, because why not.

For Jim, as a reminder Olu is the wizard guide for the last tour group (and Frenchie comes along too as their group bard). Jim is one of the Pilgrims in that group, but it eventually comes out they're here to try to figure out what happened to their parents, who went on a tour when they were just a kid, and never came back. We don't find out for sure what happened, but we are able to conclude that the Jimenezes were probably marked down as expendable.

Because yeah that's another service the Badmintons offer. You can pay an exorbitant sum to get an X put down next to a person's name, and that person will meet with an unfortunate accident and simply not make it back from their trip to the other world.

(Also in Olu & Frenchie's tour group are Evelyn, Hornberry, and Wellington. They are posing as a married couple plus sibling, though I'm not sure which configuration of that would be funniest. Ultimately it doesn't matter because they are all revealed to actually be undercover agents from various government organizations in our world investigating the shady shit the Badmintons are pulling).

Buttons is the nickname that is given to a dragon that randomly shows up, half-crazed and very confused. HE just took a little 100 year nap, and when he woke up the world was entirely different. Stede helps hims recover and reacclimate, and in return Buttons helps him out with the whole Dark Lord thing.

And then, saving the best for last, Ed. Obviously Ed is Stede's aforementioned husband. He is a very well-respected wizard and can do these little pocket universe things that everyone loves. When Stede is volunteered to be the Dark Lord, Ed is likewise assigned the role of Glamorous Enchantress. The vibe here of the Enchantress and her domain seems like it's kind of going for a Fae Queen & her court kind of thing. Anyway, as the Glamorous Enchantress Ed is required to look extraordinarily beautiful and extremely sensual if not overtly sexual. I'm picturing him having shaved his beard for the role and lounging about in his loose plait, pearls, a robe, and probably nothing else. To the point that when Frenchie & Olu's group show up off-schedule because Olu got them horribly lost and this was the first place they were able to find, Ed is running around freaking out trying to find his tiny gold shorts (thinking a real RHPS number here) because his kids are coming and he needs his least slutty outfit.

As for the actual plot beats, mainly what's important is that the story is about Stede and his kids running around trying to fulfill all the requirements of the Dark Lord role through an escalating series of everything that can go wrong, will. Made worse by all the people who have had enough of the Pilgrim Parties and are actively protesting in some fashion or another, and Izzy, another wizard who is supposed to be helping them but is actually secretly working for the Badmintons, helping them to mine magic from the ground and import it back to our world, and Spanish Jackie who has decided that the point of Stede being the Dark Lord must be that he's going to fail so hard that the whole operation is going to fall apart, and secretly actively working to make things harder for him.

The worst of Jackie's actions being the enchantment she put on Ed to compel him to leave Stede, so Stede is dealing with all of this and the additional stressor of his marriage suddenly and inexplicably falling apart. Of course when Jackie finally realizes what an asshole move that was and removes the enchantment, Ed is immediately all over Stede, like oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize how I was acting, I love you so much.

So our happy ending when things all come to a head, Izzy is discovered for his crimes and arrested. Mary is set free and she and demon king Doug go off together. The gods show up (finally) and imprison the Badmintons inside the jar they kept Mary in and put Jackie in charge of working toward setting the world back to rights after the mess the Pilgrim Parties made of it. All the Pilgrims go back home to their own world, except Jim who decides to stay. Pete and Lucius official become an item. Buttons is revealed to be king of the dragons. And we end with Stede & Ed deciding to have another baby, this time a winged human. The End.

#ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach #gentlebeard #fanfiction #dark lord of derkholm au #it’s important that the people not familiar with the book know I have changed so little here #the biggest change was the one I called out about Lucius being into Pete instead of the book!Elf Prince who wanted one of the flying horses #and the other big one was I went with a backstory closer to Jim’s canon one #as opposed to Geoffrey who is the stepson of the man running the tours investigating his own ‘accidents’ cause stepdad wanted him dead #other than that a handful of genderswaps and making the singular Mr. Chesney into the Badminton twins #the characters represented by Frenchie and Olu were biological children had by Derk and his wife in the typical way #I think the undercover government agents actually were married rather than it being their cover story #but every other detail and character description is totally book accurate

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liminaljames · 2 years

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Blackbonnet wedding~ ☠️ 🎀

Lucius will basically end up being the one helping them propose cause they’re both too shy to make the first step.

It was hard to choose bridesmaids but of course Mary had to be Stede’s now that they’re besties.

Stede is panicking last minute in his room, throwing clothes all over the place not knowing what to wear but Mary and Lucius stay with him and help him calm down.

Ed was going to wear a suit but he ended up wearing a skirt cause why the fuck not. He spends a lot of time practicing how to walk elegantly down the aisle.

The crew was responsible for the decoration. Everyone had their own ideas so they ended up mixing it all together and having a chaotic and colorful wedding full of skulls, cats and flowers.

Izzy joins last minute cause he was “too good for all this sentimentalism”. Ends up getting drunk and admitting he loves the married couple so much.

Stede and Ed are still shy when they have to kiss in front of the crew and they blush every time.

Stede throws the bouquet and it ends up in Oluwande’s hands. Jim panics and takes it away from him. Everyone laughs and tells Jim the flowers fit them, they blush harder than ever and go back to their seat, not daring to look at Oluwande.

Stede helps Ed with the dance they’ve been practicing at home and they’re so proud of each other.

Roach prepared a huge orange cake with the couple’s initials, of course (Swede ate half of it and got sick).

Black Pete ended up being the one crying the most in the ceremony and Lucius had to hug him while they laughed.

Buttons made a long poetic speech about love and seagulls and the sparks of the moon in the sea. I think everyone got lost from the first sentence… but the intention was good.

Mary painted a portrait of the married couple using only the colors of the sea and that was her wedding gift for them.

Ed had a mini breakdown in the bathroom after the ceremony because he feels too much pressure to be an adequate husband and everyone is expecting him to be great now. Stede tells him he’s already perfect and nothing has to change between them even if they’re married now. They end up making out in the bathroom.

Any other idea are super welcomed 💜💜

#ed x stede #blackbonnet #blackbeard x stede #stedeward #ofmd #ofmd blackbeard #ofmd stede #jim x oluwande #tealoranges #lucius x pete

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isrighthand · 1 year

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in honor of modern!izzy randomly informing me he has a cat i ask for ideas on what the cat's name should be. information on izzy's cat:

- big orange tabby. requires two arms for holding. im talking like 18-20 lbs.

- absolute asshole. pet at ur own risk not even izzy can do it most of the time. (stede could do it, the swede could do it. ivan could probably do it.)

- she just appeared in izzy's house and he took her in. he loves her, she would kill him without hesitation.

- she isn't even at his house half of the time tbh. more of a roommate than a cat

- she is actually a man, izzy learned upon her first trip to the vet (she threatened the lives of every employee she came across. izzy suffered greatly getting her into a carrier) however izzy had been calling her a she for years and cats don't understand gender anyway so *izzy vc* she's trans, fuck off

#honestly he probably just called her cat for months until someone else gave her a name #she's his emotional support bastard #ooc.#about.#modern!

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fromthemouthofkings · 2 years

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Okay, so for obvious reasons I've seen a lot of modern ofmd au's go for the restaurant au thing, and i love it, but what I'm thinking about (heavily inspired by my love of Leverage) is an art thief au

Stede, the well-off son of a wealthy business owner, has just realized that he is very gay, actually, and so he leaves his ruler-straight Old Money life and fucks off to become a Gentleman Thief. He’s read a bunch of stories about cat burglars and has a whole scrapbook of newspaper clippings covering the Gardiner Museum Heist, the Pink Panthers, and, of course, the famous thief Blackbeard, and he definitely wants to fuck him be just like him.

He hires the crew:

Jim is a trained assassin who prefers knives to guns.

Olu used to be a fence for gems and jewelry at Jackie's polyam thief bar, and now he's just trying to keep Jim alive despite their chronic tendency to hand him all their brain cells and go “yolo."

Lucius is a former pickpocket turned artist/forger.

Pete claims to have been on the famous thief Blackbeard’s crew and may have actually been a low-level goon hired for a few jobs.

Frenchie is a hacker who used to work on the other side (whilst being constantly microagressioned by the snobby military/CEO types/etc) and therefore knows all the ins. He also creates edm music and is active on conspiracy theory boards and is afraid of cats because he believes that they are aliens in disguise studying humanity.

John’s mother does costuming for a theater and he’s consequently very good at makeup and disguises.

Roach went to culinary school and also went through EMT training before turning to crime.

The Swede stole something really valuable from his home country (an orange-shaped gem-encrusted statue known as “The Swedish Faberge Egg”), but due to a lot of bumbling, he was nearly caught like ten times between stealing it and fleeing the country. He gained a reputation because most thieves only heard about the high-profile robbery and not the bumbling, so he is considered something of a legend, known only as “The Swede.” (Stede hires him fully believing the hype.)

And Buttons is a seasoned thief who seems to be able to summon seagulls at will and still longs to make sweet love to the sea and also is known for biting people in fights, which is how he’s escaped law enforcement for so long (he will neither confirm nor deny the rumor that he’s some kind of selkie). He’s also good with safes and locks.

Ed is a famously skilled and ruthless thief who is known for pulling off a huge variety of different jobs. Robbed a casino, stolen art from the Louvre, hit seven banks at once, auctioned off secret government research--you name it, he’s done it. (The truth is, he gets bored.) Just the rumor that he’s planning a heist causes museums to pull all of their displays. His methods tend towards the quick, violent, and brutally effective, and he's tired and disillusioned with them, but he feels stuck maintaining the Blackbeard persona for fear of rivals or law enforcement catching up with him. When he hears that Stede is trying to be a real life Gentleman Thief, like in the movies, he is intrigued.

Izzy, meanwhile, is the actual perpetrator of much of the violence that Blackbeard is credited with. Together, Izzy and Ed are the backbone of the Blackbeard legend: Edward comes up with the brilliant, daring, creative plans, and Izzy carries them out with deadly efficiency. They’ve also been on-again off-again romantic partners/fuckbuddies for years. They live in each other’s pockets, and know each other inside and out, and are able, when pressed, to work together seamlessly. They also make each other miserable a lot of the time, and enable each other’s worst tendencies, and Izzy is hanging all of his identity and self-worth off a job that Ed doesn’t even like anymore.

Ed swoops in and saves Stede from a disastrous robbery, during which all of Ed's crew get arrested besides Izzy, Fang, and Ivan. He decides to stick around and teach Stede how to be a real thief (and maybe kill him to steal his identity. Or maybe fuck him. He hasn’t decided yet).

Izzy is certain that Stede is going to get them all killed.

Also, Mary started painting in earnest after Stede left, but she hasn't heard anything from him, and he hasn't kept up with her at all, so they're both very surprised to meet again at a gallery where Mary is showing some of her work and which Stede is attempting to rob.

#ofmd #art theif au #i think it would be really fun if 'Blackbeard' was not really a person but an amalgamation of both Ed and Izzy #like not only is 'Blackbeard's' legend propped up by both Ed's cleverness and Izzy's violence #but also it's a costume and a persona that they both wear and trade back and forth as needed #i think that meeting stede throws them out of their accustomed binary orbit and forces them to change (for better or worse)#also izzy is trans and has ibs because i said so

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ridiasfangirlings · 2 years

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Our Flag Means Death Mikorei AU? Munakata would be a good gentleman pirate www

YES this AU is perfect for them I need it. Munakata would absolutely be Stede, imagine him so excited to be a pirate captain and reading his crew bedtime stories every night and wanting to have bonding activities on the ship, it would be wonderful. Imagine Munakata as like this nobleman's son who is very much in demand in high society, he's expected to make a good marriage and live a high class life without any adventure at all. Munakata is known for his charm and wit and say his family even ends up making a marriage match between him and some equally high class girl who Munakata finds perfectly charming but who he isn't really attracted to in any way. Rather than marry a girl he doesn't love Munakata decides to run away from home in the night, after secretly using some of his wealth to have a big fancy pirate ship built. As it happens Munakata has always been very intrigued by pirates and believes it would be splendid to sail the open seas as a pirate captain, and thus he's decided from now on he shall be Gentleman Pirate Munakata Reisi.

He gathers up a nice ragtag crew who largely can't believe they ended up sailing with this guy, like he has chef Kamo (whose specialty is a 38 orange glaze cake), pirate duo Akiyama and Benzai (Benzai makes the ship's flag, with a cat on it because he likes cats), super chill pirate Gotou (who enjoys basking naked in the moonlight just because) and of course, his first mate Awashima (who was initially disguised as a boy for the trip but her enormous boobs gave her away almost immediately and Munakata doesn't care that she's female because she's so competent so she's just his first mate now as herself) and his record keeper Fushimi (who gets to write down all Munakata's pirate exploits in a large book every evening). Munakata believes in keeping morale high so he pays his men a handsome wage and reads them stories from his massive library and basically just enjoys being a pirate even though he hasn't actually done much pirating.

Finally the crew actually get a chance to take down a ship and it turns out that it's a merchant vessel belonging to some minor noble Munakata has been previously acquainted with. The noble assumes he should be able to easily capture this bumbling nerd pirate but instead his men end up either fleeing or being captured and the noble himself accidentally falls into Munakata's sword when the ship lurches. Munakata regrets the death but feels this is something he must get used to as a pirate, and has his men bring along the booty to a nearby island to sell. It's around this time he hears people talking of a certain 'Red Monster,' the nickname of a fearsome pirate who is well known for taking down hundreds of ships. Munakata is warned to stay away from such a person but he only smiles in amusement and thinks perhaps such a thing could be valuable experience, surely so great a pirate would have much wisdom to pass down.

It's right after leaving the island that Munakata's ship is forcefully stopped by a ship with red sails, the Homra, and Munakata comes face to face with the Red Monster, pirate captain Suoh Mikoto. Mikoto takes one look at Munakata's ship full of nerds and smirks, like what a bunch of idiots. Munakata is of course nothing but polite, wondering if Mikoto would like to accompany them and share his wisdom as a fellow pirate. Mikoto snorts but he's actually kinda intrigued, being a pirate has become pretty boring with constantly burning down ships and stealing all their gold, and this frilly uptight 'gentleman pirate' seems like he could use a hefty dose of reality about what being a pirate actually means. Beyond that say Mikoto's also recently lost one of his men, Totsuka Tatara, who he was close to and this has only worsened his mood around continuing to be a pirate, like what's even the point of this.

Spending time with Munakata though Mikoto finds himself enjoying being a pirate again, even if Munakata irritates the hell out of him most of the time. Munakata's enthusiasm for learning piracy remains infectious and while he and Mikoto often end up trading barbs with each other there's also this understanding that develops between them. Mikoto starts to realize that even though Munakata looks like a stuffed shirt noble he has this independent streak that makes him just as much of a pirate as any other captain on the seas, while Munakata seems to be able to see things in Mikoto beyond the barbarian facade (imagine Munakata putting his robe on Mikoto and noting that the change is certainly uncanny, it seems you do wear fine things well Suoh). In the end Mikoto has the chance to escape on his own when Munakata's ship is taken and Munakata is arrested for piracy but he decides to return instead and be taken along with Munakata, claiming that he figured he can't let anyone kick Munakata's ass before he gets the chance after all (and later when they're sent to be reformed imagine Munakata wondering why Mikoto went this far and Mikoto considers before shrugging and saying well, maybe Munakata's what makes him happy. Munakata is momentarily surprised and coughs delicately before noting that perhaps...Suoh is the thing that makes him happy as well).

#Mikorei #Talking K #k project #THIS WOULD BE PERFECT I'M JUST SAYING #maybe Yata as a member of Munakata's crew who used to serve with Mikoto and wants to find him again #and who is an old friend of Fushimi's and they fight all the time #Fushimi is defintely Lucius he's just here to be disapproving and gay #imagine Munakata wandering through town yelling 'who wishes to purchase my booty'#while Fushimi facepalms in the background #I made that orange glaze cake too btw and I made a pajama set based on the robe #...we'll ignore the last episode for now XD

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shoeshineyboy · 1 year

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best name for a Really Stupid Orange Cat that you love so, so much?

STEDE.

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neine · 2 years

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OFMD TAG

<3 @blakbonnet

Tagging... @rockandrolldisgrace @malasusanka @blackbeardskneebrace @silk-and-oranges feel free to ignore, it was supposed to be 5 blogs but I literally don't know any other

Your Name: Adam

How many sugars: I usually don't add sugar to my tea but I do add 2 spoons to my coffee.

Character(s) you relate to most: That's a hard one but I'll say Stede, the one by the end of season 1

OTP? - Blackbonnet, I suppose

NOTP? - Hm I guess I don't really mind any? I do exclude any Izzy pairings on ao3 but if the art is good what ahould I do? Ignore it? It's beautiful!!! I need to tell my friends and family about this BDSM art of him

If you were a pirate captain, what would you call your ship? - Probably Aphrodite or something, because she would be the most beautiful lady on the seas. And I do have a weird fixation with names that start with A.

What position would you have on a pirate ship (bosun, captain, powder monkey, master gunner, surgeon, etc.) - I get the worst sea sicknesses I would pass out in about 9 hours of constant throw ups...... Captain.

Favorite OFMD Fics or Art - Fanfic I guess #gentlebeard is trending! by regional_catastrophe - I'm waiting for the next chapter. I really like how it feels more original, because most of the post s1 fanfics are just something we already know rehashed in multiple ways, but this one is not scared to step aside from endless parallels. And I love the Drummond bit.

teeth marks by morian (it's a second part, first one is cool too but violent at times) - I love the idea of Ed being very emotional, almost like a baby. And the scene where they fight "They scrap like children, slapping and clawing at clothes, at skin." reminded me of the scene from The Boy where Boy is trying to beat Alemein. It takes it's time, even though they are literally stuck in one place together it's just so good.

I consume so much fanart that it's impossible for me to pick one... All of them are so beautiful........ I like the ones where they're stabbing each other.

Biggest wish for Season 2? - I want Ed to cry. And I want Stede to use the name Thomas. Or Edwards. Or both. Major Stede The Gentleman Pirate Bonnet alias Thomas alias Edwards my beloved.

Favorite Quote: "Hanging on, by a thread. Hanging on. Shouldn't let go. If I let go, all will fall. Down to the bone now. Fingers bleeding. Can't let go. Nothing makes sense. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on..."

Favorite Minor Character: I really like Fang.... Izzy, Olu, Jim, Lucius... Everyone

Favorite episode: Episode 10, Wherever You Go, There You Are

Has OFMD caused you to reevaluate your gender? - No, not really. I don't think I understand the question but it did make me feel good for being who I am.

Favorite Cast/Creator Quote or Interview: "So in a weird way, Stede’s feeling love — like a more mature version of love than he’s ever felt, and Blackbeard’s feeling a more profound, mature version of rejection. Because he’s never put himself out there like this, and it’s deranging him because he’s a highly emotional person."

Do cats have knives in their feet? - Mine surely does.

Song that Makes you think of Stede Bonnet: Wait a Minute! By Willow and I'm far away by MØ

Song that makes you think of Ed: Revenge by XXXTentacion, Dark Red by Steve Lacy

Song that makes you think of Izzy: The Chain.

#chain #shit post #ofmd

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