Wrote this based on a Discord convo.
Dana is my half-Catian OC, Nate belongs to @dancing-coyote !
"They're called FLIP FLOPS!" Dana yelled.
"Nu uh, thongs!" Mariner shot back from her bunk.
"Guys, you're both right," Boimler brandished a PADD at them. "A thong is a strip of fabric or leather, the shoes have one that goes between your toes, the underwear goes...y'know. In the gluteal cle-"
"Between ya cheeks! Might as well call it butt floss." Mariner's comment got a snort from Tendi who broke down in a fit of giggling along with Rutherford.
"Or ass string." Boimler added.
"Oh does that qualify Dana's tail as a thong then?" Mariner cackled. Dana's ears flipped back and Rutherford went quiet while Tendi continued to giggle.
"No, shut up or I will END you." They growled. Before Mariner could retort, Boimler yelped as the vent next to him snapped open in a blur of turquoise hair.
"GOD NATE WHAT THE HELL?! Do you ALWAYS have to...skulk like that??"
"Nah, s'just more fun that way. Just popping in to add that Dana's tail is not a thong." The computer engineer said matter of factly.
"Thank yo-"
"...'Cos it doesn't go all the way around. Doesn't cover a damn th-"
"NATE I AM GOING TO TIE YOU TO THE WARP CORE YOU LITTLE WEASEL!!" Dana jumped up and made a dive for the vent, but Nate slammed it shut before they got there, leaving only a retreating cackle emanating from the vent as she scuttled out of reach.
"Damn Dana no need to declare war, jeez where'd that come from?" Mariner asked as she jumped down from her bunk.
Dana froze where they were crouched on the floor.
"Uh...I just...don't like my tail being the butt of jokes!" They snapped.
"Yeah, Mariner...it's more like the butt floss of jokes." Boimler punctuated his comment with finger guns.
"Says the guy who wore a frickin budgie smuggler last time we went swimming!" Dana snapped back.
"It's more streamlined!"
Tendi laughed along with them for a moment before she noticed that Rutherford was oddly silent.
"Rutherford?"
"Huh, what?" He started as he seemed to come back to the present.
"You alright? You seemed kinda lost there for a second." He stared at her for a beat before laughing nervously.
"Haha yeah...you...might say that."
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Towels Are Illogical
A Star Trek: Lower Decks fan fiction inspired by speculation about the lack of shame and modesty in the lower deck bunk corridors.
This story is tame, does not include detailed physical descriptions, and, with creative directing, could even be in an episode of Lower Decks.
Nonetheless, it has characters in casual states of total undress, and some suggestive moments.
Therefore, reader discretion is advised. Story after the “Keep Reading”.
Towels Are Illogical
By Dan Shive
Boimler’s troubles (or, at least, these specific troubles), began with the arrival of provisional officer T’Lyn.
As Boimler understood it, T’Lyn had transferred from a Vulcan vessel, and was Tendi’s “bestest science buddy”. T’Lyn didn’t look to Boimler as though she returned Tendi’s enthusiasm, but it was hard to tell with Vulcans. Boimler took Tendi’s word for it.
All of which was fine. Boimler was always happy to meet a new crewmate. He welcomed T’Lyn with open arms kept at a respectable distance.
No, the problem for Boimler was that T’Lyn turned out to be a trendsetter.
Naturally, not long after T’Lyn’s arrival, she made use of the sonic showers. As she set out to do so, however, she didn’t wrap herself in a towel. She simply undressed, stored her uniform, and started walking.
Changing clothes out in the open wasn’t unusual in the bunk corridors of the lower decks, nor was it that strange to not be in a hurry to get dressed again.
It was not uncommon, for example, for Tendi and Rutherford to get distracted in the middle of changing, and to have lengthy conversations while remaining in various states of undress.
It was, however, unusual to leave one’s bunk while still undressed as T’Lyn had done.
Mariner, with her usual lack of a filter, caught up to T’Lyn, and walked along next to her while wearing a towel. “Whoa, whoa, T’Lyn! You’re really going decloaked?”
T’Lyn raised an eyebrow. “Why would I have a cloak?”
“Sorry, sorry, turn of phrase,” While still outgoing and assertive, Mariner was a little awkward around T’Lyn. “A towel. I meant a towel.”
“Are these not sonic showers?”
“Well, yeah, they are, but…”
“To dry oneself off is unnecessary after a sonic shower, and it is illogical for me to cover myself. I feel no physical shame. Even if I did, we are about to shower together.” With what might have been a smile, T’Lyn said “decloaking is an inevitability.”
“Yeah… Yeah! You’re right!” Mariner declared. “I don’t need this!” She boldly whipped off her towel, and flung it over her shoulder. “I mean, I’ll hang on to it for now, don’t want to leave towels lying around the corridor, but yeah!”
Aside from a distracted ensign walking into a wall, this moment had little-to-no impact on others in the lower decks. It was later, after Tendi loudly expressed agreement with T’Lyn, and declared them to be “no-towel buddies,” that the idea started to spread.
As though it were the latest fashion, lower decker after lower decker stopped bothering with towels when walking to and from the sonic showers.
Even “towel guy” was now just “guy,” though he was still referred to as “towel guy.”
Tradition is a powerful thing.
Only one ensign, Ensign Boimler, was sticking to last season’s fashion. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he meant to go to the sonic showers, but was hesitant.
Everyone else not wearing towels bothered Boimler, but not for the reasons one might expect. Boimler was not, for example, overwhelmed by the sight of his exposed crewmates.
Back at his family’s raisin vineyard, Boimler was the most eligible bachelor around. Absurdly attractive women, often in states of partial, if not total, undress, threw themselves at him.
Boimler, hyper-focused on his future in Starfleet, and lacking patience in any failure to properly raise the raisins to be, remained completely oblivious. Without even meaning to, he had formed a callous around being affected by the nudity of others.
Tendi, Mariner, Rutherford, T’Lyn, or anyone else walking around in their birthday suits wasn’t going to power Boimler’s lust above impulse.
No, what bothered Boimler was he was the only one keeping himself covered at all times.
He’d mastered changing clothes without dropping his cloak.
His towel shields were up well before the eyes of others could impact his hull.
Not even Section 31 could know the secrets of Boimler’s hips.
But now, Boimler was the only one staying covered. He felt like a coward, and cowards had no place in the captain’s chair.
“A captain wouldn’t be afraid to drop the towel,” Boimler thought to himself. “A captain wouldn’t even bring a towel! They’d sit in the captain’s chair, naked as the day they were born, and do! Their! Duty!”
Unbidden, an imagined scene of Captain Freeman bravely commanding the Cerritos in such a manner played out in Boimler’s mind.
Boimler, his face red, quickly sat down. He hurriedly thought of other things, like the Niners playing baseball in a holosuite.
As it turned out, nudity combined with competent Starfleet officers on missions actually could awaken something in Boimler.
“Bases loaded, Rom bunts…” Boimler whispered, casting away the sexy demons.
Boimler, deliberately lost in thoughts of the Niners losing at baseball, and trying to remember how baseball was played, failed to notice T’Lyn.
T’Lyn was fresh from the sonic showers, and, as per usual, not wearing a thing.
She observed Boimler. His discomfort about the towel situation had not escaped her notice. While she felt her actions logical, she knew it was her influence that had resulted in his current dilemma.
T’Lyn felt… Found it logical to help Boimler.
“May I join you, Mister Boimler?”
“EZRI ON FIRST!” Boimler blurted, bumping his head on the ceiling of his bunk as he sat up straight.
T’Lyn raised her eyebrows, her expression otherwise unchanged. “My apologies. Are you injured?”
“No, no, I’m fine! Sit, sit! What’s up?”
T’Lyn sat on the end of Boimler’s bunk closest to the viewport.
“You are uncomfortable with the idea of not covering yourself.”
“Whaaat? Why would you… Why would you think? That?” Boimler’s smile would have earned him an invite to many a Ferengi’s poker table.
T’Lyn said nothing.
“Okay, fine, yes,” Boimler admitted. “I know it’s the 24th century, and it’s illogical, but—“ T’Lyn calmly interrupted with a raised hand.
“It is logical for me to not cover myself because I do not feel discomfort in this situation. Context, however, is relevant.” In a shocking display of expressiveness, T’Lyn gestured with one arm, indicating the bunks of the lower decks.
T’Lyn then used both hands to draw attention to her own torso. “Were I in this state of undress at a meeting with the senior staff, and they were fully dressed, I would find it…”
Almost imperceptibly, T’Lyn’s head tilted, and her face scrunched the tiniest of bits. To Boimler, this somehow conveyed a shudder.
“Illogical,” T’Lyn finished. She rested her hands in her lap, their shameless, illogical gesturing for emphasis complete.
Boimler imagined himself in T’Lyn’s place in that hypothetical situation, followed by Worf catching a flying ball.
“You, Mister Boimler, are not me. You should do what is right for you,” she said, imperceptibly gentle. “Discarding your towel as an act of conformity is illogical. It is only logical if you truly wish to do so, and only if you are comfortable being uncovered.”
Boimler smiled genuinely this time. “Thank you, T’Lyn. You’re right. I think I really needed to hear that.”
T’Lyn smiled. It was barely perceptible, but it happened. “You are welcome, Mister Boimler.”
“And you know what?” Boimler said, quickly standing, “I shouldn’t be ashamed! I’m not doing this for peer pressure! I’m doing this for me! Bold Boimler!”
Boimler triumphantly cast aside his towel, standing fully exposed in the lower decks corridor, hands on his hips.
Right as Beckett Mariner, fully dressed, had turned the corner.
“NOPE,” Mariner loudly declared. Turning around, her hands raised, she quickly departed the way she came. “Nope. Nuh-uh. No way.”
Boimler felt a bit less triumphant. “Well, that was…” his hands fell from his hips as his posture slumped. “Discouraging.”
T’Lyn looked towards the parting Mariner.
“I believe she does not wish to think of you in certain ways, but does so under certain circumstances,” T’Lyn dryly hypothesized, a hint of jealously in her voice that only a Vulcan could detect.
“And what does that mean?” Boimler asked, not getting any of it.
T’Lyn stood. “Take it as a compliment, Mister Boimler.” With images dancing in her mind of a cute, flustered Mariner reacting to T’Lyn’s state of undress instead of Boimler’s, T’Lyn left to get dressed.
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Spell Trek brainstorms
Okay, so I thought it would be a good time to start brainstorming Spell Trek in earnest, since I’m giving my T’Lyn/Mariner/Tendi fic chapter a few days to marinate (probably pick it up tomorrow, actually). I decided to live-blog my thoughts and just go through the entire process here because why not. It will be messy, but fun. Plus, people could leave feedback if they wished. Maybe I’ll change my mind later, but for now, you all will witness the process. Might leave some questions unanswered, but I can at least go through possibilities. Let’s go!
In case you haven’t seen me talk about it before, and in case the naming wasn’t too obvious, Spell Trek is my fantasy conversion of Star Trek. While I’m a fan of some sci-fi (obviously), I am personally a fantasist, so I thought this would be a good way for me to write slightly bigger stories than I could if I stuck to the canon universe. My knowledge of science is not extensive. Magic, I can do.
I guess the best place to start is with the big stuff and work my way down. So, what’s the cosmology of this setting? Obviously, the original Trek is in space. Should I basically just keep it space, but magic? Planets, nebula, black holes? Maybe it would be analogous to space, but modified. Actually, if you’ve ever heard of Spelljammer, that’s a possible way to do it. I don’t know much about the setting, but I skimmed the Wikipedia article for it, and it’s kind of what I’m talking about. Might have to do more research into it.
Perhaps instead of traveling through space, it’s all interplanar travel? Each species could come from a different dimensional plane instead of planet. Might be some kind of “space” between planes that the ships would travel through, which is where the actual space stuff would occur and would allow for actual travel instead of just blinking from plane to plane. Almost the same as the previous paragraph, I guess, just…worded differently. Planets, planes, same diff. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same concept. Magic space.
It COULD all take place on one world, and each species is a different race and nation. Kind of limits the scope, though, unless I introduce some ways to expand it, like the Underdark, parallel planes, etc. Still would have a physical limit. Unless…it didn’t? Okay, THIS is new to my brain. When I’ve thought about the possible setting before, I’ve usually thought about the previous two paragraphs, really sticking as close as possible to outer space. I briefly imagined it as one world before, but dismissed it due to limited space, and therefore lacking in terms of exploration. But what if…the landscape just had no known limit? One unending (as far as anyone knows) physical landmass/watermass? Could still have ships, but they would be airships instead. Warp could still work, as the landscape is basically infinite. Exploration is still doable. It being a flat world instead of 3D space, that would make travel slightly different, but that’s not important. Actually, maybe the travel could still be 3D? Could have underground species, perhaps landmasses in the sky, too. Or maybe…what if there are multiple physical planes stacked on top of one another? A big lasagna of reality. Cosmology is fun to play around with, huh?
Well, this brainstorming session has given me some things to think about. To summarize, it seems like I have two options for the overall setting (with some sub-options thrown in):
Basically outer space, but magic instead of science (like Spelljammer).
Replace the infinite space with infinite landmass and watermass (and possibly multiple layers).
Not sure which I prefer. I like the latter because it’s the shiny new idea I just came up with, and I wouldn’t have to worry about astrophysics or anything like that, but I guess I could always fudge it all if it’s magic anyway.
Is anyone reading this? If you want to give an opinion, you can. Oh hey, I can do a poll! I love you, Tumblr. So just take the poll. Well, you can reply or reblog/tag too, if you want, but if the poll is easier for you, by all means.
Okay, bye now.
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