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highonchocolate · 3 years

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Take Two: The Guardian in Gotham Chapter 12

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He’s a little boy again, laughing and racing through the halls of the Mansion, surrounded by the auburn warmth and love of his mother. Her green eyes, so similar to his own, sparkle down at him as she smiles. He reaches out for her, beaming hopefully, but as soon as he touches her, she crumbles, form blurring and fading. The warmth around him vanishes with her, and then he is alone. Stuck in the cold, silent, Mansion, a gilded cage for him to perform like an exhibit on display. He almost never catches a glimpse of his father, seeing more of Nathalie than him. Piano, fencing, Mandarin, photoshoots, the never ending cycle of activities goes on and on. He is a puppet, a doll. Dancing to their tune. He meets Ladybug, bounding across the rooftops, and the warmth sparks anew. It’s a different kind of heat, red, not the oranges and yellows of before, but still bright. He jokes and laughs, and keeps quiet to preserve the peace. Then, their identities are revealed and his world comes crashing down again. Chloé tells him about sexual harassment, screaming at him for being such an asshole to Mari, and he feels the familiar, numbing, cold creeping up his spine. What had he done?! He...had done… He goes to Ladybug-Marinette-and gets on his knees and apologizes. He apologizes for being too loud as Chat and too quiet as Adrien. He apologizes for not being there, for leaving her struggling in both aspects of her life, just so he could keep the warmth a little longer. But she smiles at him, and says they’ll work on it, and the fire blazes anew. He still loves her, but not in the same way. She is his sister, his sibling, someone to care for, and protect. She is not his lover, but his friend, and somehow, that's all he ever wanted.

--- He opens his eyes with a nostalgic smile on his lips. His eyes are wet, and he tastes salt on his tongue. He reaches out to his other half, his family, and she reaches back, grabbing him in a tight embrace. He hears the green hero telling him he’s not an enemy, but he ignores him, clutching Marinette like a lifeline. As Chloe steps forward, he loosens his hug, keeping his arm around her shoulders instead and turns to watch. She saw how they cried, relieving whatever horrific memories they had been subjected to. As she squeezed her eyes shut, blackness enveloping her, she couldn’t help but feel the familiar tingle of fear wrapping around her like a cloak. --- She is five again, watching as Mommy and Daddy scream at each other. Mommy’s mouth is open in a snarl, and Chloé can’t help but think she looks like a scary monster from her bedtime stories. The one that eats people. Seven years old, and every day they’re yelling at each other, screaming and shouting mean words in the other room. She hears Mommy say ‘This was all a mistake!’ And she huddles under her blankets, pulling Mr. Cuddly closer to her chest. She hears a door slam, and her Mommy is marching away to the helicopter, and there are suitcases being loaded inside. She sees her yellow suitcase is not in the pile, and Daddy is still standing on the roof, not in the helicopter. Her heart skips a beat and she clutches Mr. Cuddly even tighter as she stands beside Daddy and watches Mommy fly away. Does Mommy not love me anymore? She is eight and her Daddy is running for Mayor. He’s too busy to spend time with her, so he buys her a phone to say sorry. She takes it, but there is a weird feeling in her chest, like something is missing, and it doesn’t disappear as she sits alone in her room, playing some mindless game. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Daddy spends less and less time with her, buying more and more gifts to try and make up for his absence. The gifts fill her room, but they don’t fill the empty space in her heart. Sabrina tries, but Chloé knows she doesn’t really like her. She’s only doing it because Chloé gives her gifts too. Then Marinette comes along, and Chloé feels her hatred grow. How come her parents spend time with her?! What makes her so special? ... Why don’t my parents spend time with me? So she huffs and bullies and wraps herself in a cloak of thorns, keeping everyone at arms distance so that she won’t be let down and left alone again. She has Adrien, of course, but she knows she is using him. And he lets her use him, moving through the motions like a doll.

Then Ladybug soars through the sky, catching her as she plummets from Stoneheart’s grasp, high above. Bright blue eyes and signature red, and Chloé watches from below as she flies, wishes and dreams kept secreted away in her heart.

She finds Pollen’s comb, and suddenly her wildest dreams have sprang to life. She is a superhero! She can stand beside Ladybug and Chat Noir, and everyone will love her and her parents will be proud, and maybe now they’ll stay…But Ladybug is mad, and everyone hates her, and she knows Mommy Mother is already disappointed. So she carves a wall of ice and frost around her heart, and wraps her thorned cloak tighter around herself.

And then a Miracle happens, and Ladybug forgives her, and adds her to the team permanently. And they reveal their identities, and she apologizes to Marinette and Adrien because she knows she was wrong, and they give her a second chance.

And her heart is racing and she can’t hear properly because the only thing she can understand now is the simple thought running through her brain over and over.

Permanently? They’re staying? I’m staying? They won’t leave me..?

And they are a family now, and she is loved, and there is Kagami, looking at her with that knowing glint in those deep brown eyes, reaching over to pull her into the warmth of her arms, and finally, finally, that empty space is full again.

---

She saw the familiar darkness of her closed eyelids again, signaling the mind search was over, but she kept them shut for a moment longer, savoring the memories, the love. Only, she didn’t need to savor them, she remembered, because they were right here.

And so she opened her eyes, and saw her friends standing right there, arms already outstretched to pull her into their comforting embrace. Grinning, she let two sparkling tears roll down her cheeks. Only two, for the childhood she never fully had, and the family she finally found.

Kagami was a creature of discipline, and as she closed her eyes, she willed her breath to stay even, her heart to continue its pulse, and her hands to remain steady.

---

“Again!” Her mother’s harsh demand cracked through the air like a whip, sending ice skittering down her spine. Her face stung from where it had scraped on the concrete, it’s cold temperature soothing her scratched skin. Her arms trembled, refusing to bear her weight as she struggled to push herself up in time to block the next blow from her mother’s boken. With a grunt, she parried and thrust, only to fall flat on her back with a grunt.

“Again!”

A whirl of movement, then her knee screamed with pain-

“Again!”

She stood on shaky feet, raising her foil, only to get knocked down seconds later.

“Again!”

So she rose, and she fell, and she rose again.

Nothing she gave was ever enough. She bled, and she cried, and she worked herself to collapse, only to be rewarded with another training session, harsher criticism, and higher standards for her to meet. Nothing she did was ever enough. She was weighed down by the expectations of her mother.

And then she met Adrien, and she knew they were only forced together for their parent’s benefit, but how she longed for his love. For any love.

So she told herself she loved him, and he loved her, ignoring how she felt nothing as she looked into his eyes. She knew she was stubborn, and had a tendency to do things on her own, but even after she messed up as Ryuko Ladybug gave her a second chance.

It was...surprising to say the least. She had expected a scolding, and harsh, cutting, words, but instead she had revived another try, and words of encouragement. She felt a smile tug her lips upward, as she stood and charged into battle. And then, to her surprise, she was given a permanent place on her team. They never expected her to work herself to exhaustion, they accepted what she gave, only pushing her gently. And it was after their identity reveal, when they were talking about romance, and crushes, and that sort of thing did she realize she wasn’t messed up.

“Well, I’m totally bi,” Marinette giggled from where she lounged on a nearby chaise.

“Really? Nice. I’m lesbian as fuck.” Chloé spoke as she braided her hair.

“Ay, it’s a fellow gay!” Luka called from his seat on the floor.

“Aro and Demiace over here my people!” Adrien exclaimed, throwing up peace signs.

“Lesbian? Bi? What do those mean?” Kagami asked from her perch on the bed.

“Oh! Well bisexual is basically me liking men and women, lesbian means you’re a woman that only likes women, gay is a man that only likes men, and aromantic means you feel no romantic attraction towards someone, and demisexual means you need to form a strong emotional connection with someone before experiencing sexual attraction.” Marinette explained.

“Oh,” Kagami frowned in thought. “So it’s not..bad to like other women?”

“Of course not!” Chloé exclaimed, looking scandalized at the thought.

Her friends had taken it well.

Her mother, however, did not. Although most Japanese were okay with homosexuality, Tomoe Tsurugi wanted a biological heir to continue their bloodline.

“You’re just confused, Kagami. This is why I don’t like you spending time with those friends of yours. They talk about all these things, and suddenly you start thinking that you are like...that. Stop this foolishness at once.”

She hadn’t raised her voice, but the disdain was clear in her tone. And with those words, the fragile shell of joy she had built around herself shattered in the face of rejection.

She opened her eyes, feeling as though someone had reopened her scars and left the wounds bare and bleeding on display.

Her eyes were dry, and the salt of tears was not present on her lips, but she felt bad though she had cried for hours. With a small shudder, she grabbed Chloé’s hand and allowed herself to be pulled into a warm embrace.

And then it was Luka’s turn, and there was no hint of nervousness on his face as he closed his eyes.

---

Scenes burst to life behind his eyelids in a flash of color and sound. He was five again, creeping down the hallway on their boat in the direction of the muffled sobbing emanating from his mother’s cabin. “Maman?” He questions uncertainly, pushing open the door and allowing a thin ray of light to shine on his mother’s tear-streaked face. “Maman are you okay?”

Anarka’s head jerked up at his voice, hands coming up to wipe at her cheeks.“I’m fine, baby. Mama’s just feeling a little sad today. Why don’t you go play with Jules, huh?”

“Okay Maman. I love you!” He walks back to his room on small feet, knowing even then, that his mother’s sadness stemmed from larger problems. Six years old and he still struggles with speaking to other kids. Miss Adeline says he’s just shy, but he isn’t. It’s just hard to find the right words to use.

So he uses music to speak, and in every strum of his guitar there is a word; in every measure, a sentence; every song is an expression, an exclamation, a lament, that conveys more than words ever could.

He still struggles with the words sometimes, and he focuses on all his friends too much, so sometimes he forgets to focus on himself. But that’s okay, because everyone tells him to be empathetic, and put other people’s needs before his own, so that’s what he does.

And then Ladybug asks him to be Viperion, and he can’t say no. So he accepts, and watches time and time again as his friends and family die before his very eyes, bodies slack, eyes unseeing, blood everywhere. But he knows she can’t bear this burden alone, so he keeps marching on.

And on.

He opens his eyes to the still-haunted faces of his friends, looking at him with concern.

He gives them a smile to assure them he is fine, he is not and then turns to Martian Manhunter with a polite expression on his face. “Now that we’re all cleared, what’s next?”

---

@laurcad123, @liquid-luck-00, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @stainedglassm

#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #damian wayne #adrien agreste #chloe bourgeois #luka couffaine #kagami tsurugi #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #lila rossi #alya cesaire #lila salt #class salt

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raccoon-wizard · 4 years

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Two and Half Assholes

An entire one person (shout out to @jumpfiend) expressed their wish for me to write an angry essay about the long dead show Two and Half Men (2003-2015) and all the problems it has. Allow me to start by saying that I am by no means a professional critic and I have never really written an in-depth review of anything. But I have a lot of feelings that I need to get out about this shitshow, otherwise my head is gonna explode next time my father insists on watching it.

Just a warning, this is a very long post.

What is Two and Half Men about?

If I tried to write my own summary here, I would probably end up tearing it to shreds already. Instead, I’m going to borrow the annotation from IMDB.com: “A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beachfront house.”

That doesn’t really say much, does it now. Luckily, the same site also provides us with a wide range of plot (hahahah “plot”) summaries written by users. This one tells us a little more: “The Harper brothers Charlie and Alan are almost opposites but form a great team. They have little in common except their dislike for their mundane, maternally cold and domineering mother, Evelyn. Alan, a compulsively neat chiropractor and control-freak, is thrown out by his manipulative wife Judith who nevertheless gets him to pay for everything and do most jobs in the house. Charlie is a freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon. Charlie "temporarily" allows Alan and his son Jake, a food-obsessed, lazy kid who shuttles between his parents, to move in with them after Alan's separation/divorce. The sitcom revolves around their conflicting lifestyles, raising Jake (who has the efficient, caring dad while having a ball with his fun-loving sugar uncle who teaches him boyish things), and bantering with Evelyn and various other friends and family. Other fairly regular characters include Charlie's cleaning lady Berta and his rich, self-confessed stalker neighbor Rose who often sneaks in to spy on Charlie.”

Now that’s much better. It gives us quite a decent picture of the show’s ensemble. At least for the starter episodes, this is pretty much what it is. But as the show progresses, we see that the characters have a little bit more depth to them. But not that much.

Let’s start with Charlie Harper, the “freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon” portrayed by Charlie Sheen. (Is that man still a thing?) I think we can get a lot by taking apart this brief description of him. Freelance jingle composer pretty much means that he has a grand piano in his house and we can occasionally see him playing it while trying to put together words for a commercial for some random product. And that’s it. He has a few other musician friends who are just as big of assholes as he is, but we’ll get to that later. Other than that, we don’t really see him working at all. I think there is one episode about him writing kids’ songs because his girlfriend’s kid likes them. And one about him getting an award?? I don’t know man. The second part of that statement is a much more prominent “personality” trait of Charlie’s. In nearly every episode, we see him “dating” (meaning shagging and then dumping) another woman. I have mentioned in my initial post that this show is misogynistic. Don’t worry, I will also get into that later. For now I’m going to say that Charlie treats all these women absolutely disgustingly and we’re supposed to laugh at that. On the rare occasions we see him in a long term relationship (which happens twice I think? I’m not sure now), we get the stereotypical ball and chain bullshit. The woman takes all his freedom and tries to make him better. While I hate that trope with burning passion, I have to admit that in this case, she does have a solid point. Charlie is a pathetic excuse of a man who has to count on his good looks (questionable) and his riches. By the way, where did he even get them? Does composing jingles really make that much money? Is he that good of a gambler? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen another episode addressing the fact that the answer to both of these questions is no. Where the hell did this luxurious beach-house come from??? So many questions about a show that deserves so little.

Surprisingly, Charlie is the better one out of the two brothers. At the start, we really do feel sorry for Alan. His wife (who is a HORRIBLE person by the way) kicks him out and manipulates him into still paying for everything and doing many things for her around the house. Who wouldn’t feel bad for someone like this? He moves in with Charlie “for the time being”. Soon, we realise that he is not leaving the house anytime soon. He becomes a disgusting leech, a truly pathetic excuse of a man. And he doesn’t even bother hiding it. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to feel sorry for him or laugh at him, but either case doesn’t really work if you spend at least ten seconds thinking about it. How are we supposed to sympathise with a man that lives off of others and barely lifts a finger to change it? The worst part is, the show presents it as something completely normal. We don’t really see Alan’s actions turning against him, do we? Most of the time, whatever shit he does, works just fine for him.

Another prominent character is Alan’s son, Jake, who grows up throughout the series. A fat little boy, not exactly bright. A spoiled brat (if it’s the fault of Alan or Judith is questionable) that has everything handed to him, as Charlie points out in one episode. It’s another bad personality trait that we’re supposed to find funny. And at first, we kind of do. But once again, as the show progresses, it gets worse. Jake becomes the oldest kid in his class because he fails so many times. He only gets to start middle school because “he’s too big for the desks in his class now”. A bit of a watered down Dudley Dursley now that I think about it. It feels that the older Jake gets, the dumber he is. He eventually joins the military because he is too daft to realise. (If I remember correctly, that was done only so Jake’s actor could leave the show because he pretty much realised how bad it was.)

The main reason why I hate this show so much, however, is its way of handling female characters. There’s a few prominent ones - the aforementioned Judith, Alan’s ex wife, a cold hearted manipulative bitch, that also follows the trope of “I’m breaking up with you because I’m a lesbian” for a while, but then it’s never addressed again, not even once. Then we have Alan and Charlie’s mother, Evelyn, also a cold hearted bitch lacking any motherly instincts whatsoever that the men blame for how they turned out. Honestly, I can kind of see it. There’s Rose, Charlie’s neighbour whom he had slept with once and who’s been obsessed with him ever since, following him pretty much wherever he goes and inappropriately visiting him, usually in order to chase any woman that gets close to him away. We have Berta, Charlie’s housekeeper that I would like to believe is there to show the differences between different classes, as she has a large family to take care of, fending of her daughters’ admirers and dealing with drug and alcohol issues. But at this point we all know she’s only there so we can laugh at her struggles and the witty remarks she likes to make.

A special category of women in this show are the lovers and girlfriends. All of them end up either leaving the men for someone better (good for them tbh), or getting left by them. But remember, we’re supposed to always be siding with the men. The women are there for us to laugh at and hate. Rose the stalker? The only reason Charlie never gets rid of her is so we can laugh as she appears unexpected on his balcony over and over again. Are her apparent mental health issues ever addressed? Maybe once, but as a joke. You know, the classic ha ha ha ha look an insane person that’s hilarious. Judith the ex wife and her flock of weird friends (that Charlie converts)? Look, evil wives hating men, ha ha ha ha. Better run away from there, men, or they’ll eat you alive! Ha ha ha ha. Judith wanting support from friends and claiming she deserves to be happy is played off as something we scoff at. Chelsea, Charlie’s girlfriend and fiancée? The ball and chain thing, similarly to Judith, but not nearly as manipulative - this one we can see really means well and wants to help Charlie, but he’s a Man™ and cannot handle that, despite claiming to love her very dearly. Lindsay, Alan’s on again, off again girlfriend? Oof. Where to even start with that one. As most of the characters (save for maybe Judith), she starts off decent, despite her inexplicable desire for Alan. (Seriously though what in the world is up with that.) Also, now that I mentioned Alan’s weird sex appeal (not to me but to the female characters of the show, ew), what the hell was up with Judith wanting to suddenly fuck him again and HIM ENDING UP BEING THE FATHER OF HER DAUGHTER???? Was that the point when the writers just said “you know what, fuck this” or?

Some additional things the men on the show did to women:

Infidelity. Aka “ha ha ha many women want man what a lucky bastard he gets to fuck many women ha ha ha oh no he’s been caught ha ha ha funny”.

Infidelity with their friends/family members. I’m pretty sure this happened multiple times. One of the male protagonists gets a girlfriend. Girlfriend has an attractive daughter. Man sleeps with daughter. Girlfriend is mad. Man claims that it is actually a compliment to her because the daughter is just a younger version of her. Man gets upset when girlfriend disagrees. Poor man, girlfriend mean :(((

Another thing I would like to point out is the show’s dumbass approach to sexuality and gender. It’s the age old, straight men bullshit that lesbians = hot, gay men = ew. We see that throughout the whole thing a bunch of times. Alan ends up marrying Walden (whom I will talk about as well) so they can scam an adoption agency. That’s just wrong, man. That’s awful. And regarding gender, the way this shitshow handles trans people is disgusting. I can currently only think of one instance of this, but I have a feeling it happened multiple times, but with Charlie and Alan. They meet a woman, flirt, sleep together, all fun and games. But for some god forsaken reason, after all is done, the woman decides to be like “yeah by the way I used to be a dude” and?? Why?? First of, why would any trans person want to tell anyone their deadname and other things after successfully transitioning? I’m a cis woman, but this really makes no sense to me. Please correct me if I’m wrong on this one, but if you’ve spent years trying to pass as whatever gender you identify with, transitioned, you wouldn’t exactly go around sleeping with people and afterwards telling them about it, would you? And second of all, the entire reason why these characters appear are so we can be like “eww he slept with someone who used to have a penis eww” and laugh as they have a small crisis because of it. Just. Why?? I am aware that this is a thing other shows do/have done as well, but it really bothers me. And even when the guy decides to roll with it, all we get are those jokes that the woman is “more manly” than him. I remember vividly Alan hooking up with a trans lady and briefly dating her, only so we can see her pick a fight with a man, pay for their food and shit and Alan being flustered because he feels like less of a man. Again, please correct me if I’m wrong since my knowledge of gender is limited, but I’m about 97 % sure this is not how it works.

One would have thought that most of this would end after Charlie’s death. His place is taken by Walden Schmidt, portrayed by the angel that is Ashton Kutcher, a “billionaire internet entrepreneur who has recently been divorced and is now suicidal” (wiki). Before I dig in to how it actually got worse, let’s talk about Walden for a while. He really is a nice change. Walden is a genuinely good character, we see him working super hard and treating women well and just being great. I actually like him. The problem the show has when it comes to him is treating his suicidal-ness as just another little joke. Ha ha ha man wants to die man weak. Funny. But as we get over this part (rather quickly tbh), things involving Walden get actually good (besides the part where he sleeps with Alan’s mother). We do see some annoyingly familiar divorce related things, but in contrast to Alan, we see Walden actually get back on his own two feet.

Alan will forever be my biggest issue with this show. I don’t know if he gets worse or if it’s just the contrast with Walden that makes it seem that way, but he becomes a bigger and bigger parasite, exploiting Walden’s kindness, becoming a lover to his, at that point, former girlfriend Lindsay and somehow exploiting her current boyfriend? He just goes haywire is what I’m trying to say.

I’m not saying that people like that don’t exist. We see it every day, the rich playboys, the pathetic incels. They are everywhere and we totally should talk about them. But not like this. We shouldn’t feel like we should sympathise with them, we shouldn’t hate those that try to criticise them, or those who want to get rid of them. We shouldn’t laugh when they hurt people around them. Men shouldn’t want to relate to them. Characters like this should be presented as something we should avoid becoming.

“What’s your problem? It’s just something I watch to unwind,” my father scoffs at me as I complain about yet another evening we all have to spend listening to the nonsense Two and Half Men brings us. Yea, maybe for you. Maybe you know better than to treat people around you, especially women, like they’re just something you can play around with and then throw into the sewers. Maybe you give everyone equal respect. (No he doesn’t, by the way.) But you know, with the way this TV channel plays this show over and over and over and over again (five episodes a day, every day, and the second they get to the end, they just start over), there’s probably a number of young people who don’t realise how wrong it is and take what’s said there as something to live by. Maybe they’ll think that it’s okay to use people to their advantage. Maybe they’ll think like a rich entitled middle aged straight white man. That’s my problem. Even though the show ended five years ago, it still lives on our televisions and it still gives us wrong examples on how to live our lives. That’s why I hate the show. Not just the awful writing and “plot” holes. It’s the way it treats people and presents it as something that’s totally fine.

#tv #television #tv shows #comedy #sitcom #two and half men #jon cryer #ashton kutcher #charlie sheen #sexism #misogyny

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dracula-in-purple-story · 5 years

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Pride Month 3/3 [BONUS]

Pride Race is almost dunzo!

Author’s Note : All of this is ENTIRELY NON-CANON. I’m still working on my writing skills. Thank You and Enjoy, hopefully.

Hachi is going to admit, Pride Race is definitely fun. With all those games there are going to happen once in a lifetime, he’s going to miss it so much.

The Obstacle Race is a wild one. Tres running through the course with traps activated once a few second, Marina planned a total chaotic plan with the underground participants; Huit panicked through her course with limited dirt.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean we are the last one out, you little...”

“Calm down, Miss Hime.” Marie smirked as she gestured towards the other teams who finished the maze, “If only your team is fast enough to figured out the route, maybe you would come here first.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Musical Maze, a total brain explosion. They took a lot of time figuring out the entrance, especially with all different music is playing around them. Pearl accidentally triggered a trap switch, making a piano piece to appear on the wall. If it wasn’t for Marina to press the right key, who knows what happen? When it was designed by Marie Cuttlefish herself.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Erm...A4?” Huit pressed the box on the provided gadget. Few seconds, the cannon right behind her shot off to the other side of the wall in front of her. One loud boom and her desired box was ticked as correct.

“Yes!...Uh oh.”

~~~~~~~~~~

He never did miss Battleship. Not one bit. Playing as a ship piece in the middle of the sea is definitely not what he would like at all. Sei, that lovable sadistic, had the nerve to laugh it off when Hachi got blasted off from an opponents’ cannon ball. They make up and kissed afterwards.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tres chewed as she tried not making faces. She got to admit, she want to drink at least few drops of water but she can’t risk it. Not when her unlucky teammates got eliminated by eating... those dishes.

“Coddamn it, Callie.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The Spicy Food Test is the best! He never knew the surface would offer so much food, from different country too! The best one he love the most would be Monster Meaty Burger from Coralphin, a country he know only from the travel article that they have the most dangerous animals contained. If only he have a passport to travel.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you guys ready for the last game of the week?!” Fior screamed enthusiastically in the microphone. Groups of both participants and audience cheered and shouted loudly.

It’s finally the last game of the event. Teams are getting restless, especially when they don’t know about how much points they earned. They got too immersed into the games that they forgot to count them.

Hachi is very nervous. He knew he should be. So are the rest of Team Cephahook. The last game is quite weird in all ways. Why his tiny gremlin girlfriend would ask all the teams to wait until seven o’clock in the night, separate them into this gigantic stage, a huge box just sitting right beside where they stand, and wear a thermal goggle. He doesn’t understand until he turned to look through the box, “Oh no... she didn’t!”

“Participants!” Fior’s booming voice came out of the speakers. “Please don’t attempt to take off your thermal goggles. Looking at you there, Tressy love!”

Hachi is sweating a lot. He don’t want to know that this is true. They can’t be this cruel, would th-

“Today, we are going to play Balloon Kart Race!”

They can be this cruel, Hachi dreaded as the box started to lifted up to reveal a kart and three balloons attached to the back. Sei and Fior are, after all, behind the design of a freaking Bloblobber and its Deco counterpart.

“If you guys play the classic Mario Kart games, you definitely know how to play this! If you do not know about them, let me broadcast you the basic rules!”

Suddenly, the goggles were switched to a blank screen, leading to his lovers and Squid Sisters appeared.

“Balloon Kart Race is a type of game mode in the Mario Kart. Basically, you drive your Go-Kart around until you spot a person. And then, bring out the big guns we install beside your seats and aim for the balloons! Pop all three balloons to ensure total elimination! Points would be given for that.”

“Remember those extra special goggles we designed for you guys? Not only they can showcase your team points and rankings, they are also there to hindered your eyesight to identify foes and friends alike! Good luck!” Sei chuckled as the screen switched back to the normal ones.

Hachi grimaced as he mounted on his Kart. Did he mention he was bad at this game? “I’m going to deny affection from them if it’s the last thing I do.” he falsely swear it before the speaker blast the Mario Kart Race Start Intro, seemly to mocked him.

Hachi twitched irritatingly as he drive through the place. First thing first, he’s going to avoid all people as fast as possible. He don’t know how to aim to save his life. Luckily, the ladies of his life are not called the Queen of War and Dead Splat for nothing.

“Wowie! Tres Perdere from Team Cephahook managed to eliminated Madam Spikers and Lady Susan from Team Sun Spark!” Callie enthusiastically announced. From Hachi’s goggles, his team moves to the top of the ranking.

“On the other side, Huit, from Team Cephahook too, totally lives on her name, Dead Splat! Mercilessly annihilated Bella Smith from Team Smith Cousins in one shot!” Marie continued, “Looks like this cause a commotion to all her cousins. They are shooting everywhere!”

Right after she said that, he heard shooting right behind him. “Holy Zapfish, please have mercy on me...” Hachi prayed as he pressed on the accelerator hard to its limit for maximum speed.

It happened so fast. One minute he’s debating whether or not should he avoid the Kart completely and the next thing he knew, he crashed into another Kart. Balloons are popping everywhere and he didn’t care anymore as he pressed his gun button.

~~~~~~~~~~

“This is going haywire!” Fior exclaimed, “Due to Team Smith Cousins’ frantic shooting, so many teams have been wiped out by either their foes or friends! We have three surviving teams that had yet to be annihilate!”

The big screen in the Audience Area showcase the teams that have survived so far. Team Coral Royalty with their lesbian sea anemone and straight ally inkling, Team Biter Bikes with their panromantic killer whale, and lastly, Team Cephahook with their asexual inkling.

Hachi is a little bit worried, no, scratch that. He’s freaking worried. Not about Tres’ skills but her current situation. One balloon. She was known to rushed into the battlefield without a decent plan. The other teams have either two or one balloons left. The map shows they are close to each other, too close for comfort. He believes in her. His team too, especially Huit who looked up at her.

“Ooh! That’s a sad elimination for Yuuto Akabane from Team Coral Royalty! His teammate popped his balloons without realising!” Sei announced as he continued smiling all wide. “And look what we have over there!”

The screen quickly relocate its focus to the centre of the stage. Tres is racing in circle along with the Biter Bikes killer whale. “They are not shooting at each other but... they are talking?” Hachi jaw dropped. Their badass girlfriend, terrorise anyone and even her teammates, is not attacking?

~~~~~~~~~~

“Listen, kid.” the panromantic killer whale demanded the inkling girl who almost pressed her gun button. “We only have one balloon each. Thea have two. What do you say, girl? Gang up on her and pop her balloons.”

“What do I gain from this?” Tres squinted at him, distrust in her eyes.

“I act as a decoy. Probably would get pop as a result.”

“You don’t want to win?”

“I want to win but... that sea cow pushed me in our second day.”

“Okay, don’t back out unless you are being a sea chicken.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Suddenly, those two competitor dispersed into different ways. Unless the twins are being paranoid, he noticed Tres is smirking devilishly.

“Oh no...” Huit trembled. Even their lovers on stage either gulped or sweated heavily. Hachi wiped his sweat on the forehead before muttering out, “She’s on rampage mode.”

Marina widened her eyes in shock before watching the screen. Pearl is not fazed at all. “Great! That would make our victory much more quicker! It’s totes obvious!” She grinned widely.

Thea Wallace from Team Coral Royalty have no idea what’s gonna happen as she encountered Shafi Rijaya from Team Biter Bikes. She’s aiming and shooting at him like crazy. As it goes on, dodging bullets and shooting balloons, Tres flew out from their left side, literally Kart flying, aim and shoot Thea’s balloons, and landed. After she saw Shafi’s balloon haven’t popped yet, she did the honor.

“Would you look at that, folks! Tres Perdere, Queen of War and previously known as Monster Rookie, pulled off that sick stunt! Isn't that amazing, Marie?” Callie squealed while jumping around in excitement. Marie fawned beside her, speechless beyond words.

“We would take that as a yes, Marie!” Fior butted in while watched the recording of her badass girlfriend doing that cool stunt again and again, with Erek and Sei beside her. The crowd were roaring and chanting Tres’ name over and over again.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think we would win?” Huit nervously asked. It’s the final day of Pride Race, the result day. Yesterday, her lovers were discussing and calculating the points with the Squid Sisters in the living room intensely, nodding or shaking their heads in the middle of it.

Pearl, as confident as usual, snorted as she glanced up to her figurative daughter. “Why don’t you relax a bit? The results have no set time, you know?”

“But Mama! I don’t want to lose.”

“Neither did I. That’s why we are going to relax! Because there’s no way we lose!”

“Okay... Big Brother, Tres? Where do we start first?”

Audience, fans and participants are buzzing around excitingly. The stands around them are full with delicious junk food, thirst-quenching drinks, fun mini games and small stage to promote albums. Hachi scratched his head before answering, “Why don’t we hang out with the rest of our lovers? It’s been a while since we had a proper group date.”

The girls nodded in agreement as they shuffled through the crowd. Huit almost got lost before Tres and Hachi held her hands tightly. She smiled at the appreciation as they finally reached the stage. Sei is frowning really hard as he type on his laptop. Erek and Fior seems to be quite carefree as they blabbered around and have small pecks to each other.

“Leaving out on us? My, cheeky lovers you two~” Hachi chuckled as he let go of his sister’s hand and join them. They started to joked around and make some small kisses between them.

Tres shrugged as she dragged her shy girlfriend towards their tall boyfriend. They were a little bit disappointed that the laptop screen shows weapon datas instead of the Pride Race results.

“Hey, lovelies.” he glanced at them sleepily before returning his focus onto the screen. He never had much sleep that night, the girls could tell. His pansexual coloured tentacles started to fade out to his natural green, constantly rambling and swearing softly, and squinting around even over large texts. Tres couldn’t stand it and decided to manhandled him with inhumane strength while Huit, seems to understand, saved his drafts and shut down the laptop. Sei groaned tiredly, “What do you two do that for...? I have to give this data to Sheldon before the next Splatfest arrived...”

“You had done a lot, Sei Sei. Why don’t we join the others and cuddle for once?” Huit grinned before winked at Tres, who carried him off the chair like it’s nothing and dumped him on top of the others.

“Hey, what was tha-” the short inkling yelped before squinted closely on the poor boy’s laid out body, “Ooh, Sei! You could have told us before you launched yourself to us, you big goofball~”

“Heh, it’s not intentional but I’ll keep that in mind, Fi.” he sat up and stretched his muscle before pulling the rest of the girlfriend squad on top of him. “Now that we are all here, cuddles anybody?”

Erek and Fior squealed as they launched themselves into the pile. Hachi puffed before turning into his octo form and squeezed into them.

~~~~~~~~~~

The contestants are bursting with excitement and nervousness. The results are here! If one team win this race, they are going to receive 50 Super Sea Snails each member and able to create the next Pride Race games!

“Let’s cut to the chase!” Fior emerged from the stage. People are shouting everywhere, most of them are begging for the results to come out. Sei shakes his head slyly as he projected thirteen group names to the gigantic screen on the stage that didn’t reach Top Three. Most teams are either consoling their upset teammates or just disappointed. Sei grinned, “I congratulate those teams who at least make some effort, but too bad. You’ll win, next time.”

“Oh cod, our team are not in there! We made it to Top Three!” Huit skipped around her lover and brother with uncontrollable excitement. The two of them smiled fondly at her. She always so work up over small things, but it makes her weirdly cute.

“And now, let us announce the winners and runner ups! From the third place, we have...” Erek spoke clearly as he read his cue cards, “...Team Diss Squad! Congratulation!” Fans of Diss Pair and ex-Squid Squad members in the Audience Area cheered like thunders as their idols walked up to the stage and received their 25 Super Sea Snails each. The vibrant colours of their non-binary, bisexual and pansexual identity shone even brighter as they smiled, or pouted, for the cameras.

“Second place, we have... Team Gender Crisis! Congratulation!” Group of transgender, non-binary and gender-fluid sea creatures strutted up to the stage and posed dramatically for the cameras as they received their 35 Super Sea Snails each.

“WE WIN!” Marina and the octo twins are squealing excitingly while Pearl fist bump with Tres. “BOOYAH, BABY!”

“Finally, our first place cause excitement to our obvious winners over there... Team Cephahook!” Audience cheered even louder than the last two teams for both their news broadcaster duo and the famous League members as they walked up (run for Hachi and Pearl) to the stage and received their 50 Super Sea Snails each and the permit to create games for the next Pride Race.

“This would be one of the most memorable moments of my life!” Hachi thought happily as he smiled widely for the camera.

#Splatoon #My Splatoon Story #draculainpurple #Agent 96 #Agent 4 #Agent 3 #Agent 8 #My OCs

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saportuh · 6 years

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ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

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alien-bodies · 6 years

Text

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

#Open For Sicc Facts Abt Me #ianposting

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void-bee · 7 years

Text

Time Moves Around Us

i had to write a first person story for class, so i wrote it about a lesbian baker on the autism spectrum

have a nice read, it’s like 3,000 words

Time was very important to me. Keeping that time in order was very important. The world outside my schedule was loud and chaotic, and how others made it through their days is beyond me. There was order and safety in knowing where you should be, what you should do, and when you should do it. Knowing what needs to be done gave me a tether to the rest of the world, let me interact with those who think differently than I do. It made me feel safe. It let me feel in control.

My planet turned on its axis, orbiting the Earth. That’s how other people felt to me: a world away. My brain turned my small world. My world chimed on the hour and there was nothing more soothing to decipher those chimes. They spoke to me in lists and deadlines. So, on Tuesday, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. like I always do. The laminated list near my bedside gave me clear directions for my morning routine in ten minute increments. The timer on its chain went around my neck, its quiet ticking the most gentle sound in my world.

Forty minutes later found me downstairs from my apartment, in my bakery, nursing a mug of coffee and looking through the orders for the day. I had to get bread dough rising, cupcakes mixed, and cookies cut by five or my whole schedule would be off. There was also an order for a cake that had to be finished by 6 p.m., but my sister got in at noon and would be taking care of most of the leg work. I was glad to have her.

“Drawing Dead” started up right on time, a mix of technojazz and piano comforted me through my cupcakes. Getting into the groove of baking is the secret to making them taste perfect; focusing solely on the pastry and nothing else. Time moved around me and I stayed in place, just me and the desserts. Baking is comforting in this manner; follow the instructions and they’re perfect every time. Emily didn’t like this CD, but it turned always ended before noon. This was one of the many ways Emily and I couldn’t communicate.

Rachel came in at six to work the counter. She was a little slip of a blonde college student, but I didn’t know what she was studying. I knew she didn’t really like me, she didn’t understand me. But she was good as a cashier and I trusted her with the sweets.

“Good morning Miss Westmeyer!” she trilled as she opened the backdoor. I didn’t bother to answer her; I had only twelve seconds before the cupcakes needed to come out. She made a face I saw in the corner of my eye but I couldn’t decipher it so I disregarded it. The cupcakes came out perfectly. They were moist and sweet, iced with three perfect rosebuds each. She tried again to engage me, “Did you have a nice night? What are the specials for today boss?” She had tendency to babble at me and I could barely follow the lines of her questioning. Her world was so loud.

“It was fine.” I motioned for her to follow me to the register and wrote out the specials of mocha fudge, lemon lavender, and rosewater mint for the day’s cupcakes. We were also featuring a red velvet cake and tiramisu. The cookies and brownies were fixed menu items, and we sold three basic types of cupcakes daily. Biscotti was sold before noon. Cakes were sold by the slice. Whole cakes that didn’t get sold yesterday were half-price today. We sold milk, tea, and coffee to go along with the desserts, but the big fancy coffee machines made me anxious. We only had two percolators: one for regular and one for decaf.

Rachel continued to talk at me, but I wasn’t focused on what she was saying. I ferried cookies and cakes and brownies into the displays. There were perfectly painted roses on each sugar cookie and a small rosette on each brownie. Our store was called “Cake Bouquet”, so every treat had a small flower on it somewhere. Emily thought of the name, I just piped the flowers. Rachel quit trying to talk to me, thankfully, and just unlocked the door, started running the presale reports and starting up the cash register. I was glad to have her, chatty as she may be. She knew what needed to be done.

Time moved around me again as I kept up with the flow of orders, baking as needed and frosting constantly. Some more cashiers worked the day shift, but I didn’t attempt to know any of them, and they stayed away from the back other than to keep me up to date on shortages. Emily arrived promptly – I’m always relieved when she does, I get nervous when she’s late – and together we made the birthday cake. I spent three hours making ornate gardenias and tulips and roses for it. It’s the only thing I’m good at. Mrs. Romelia was pleased with her cake and I was pleased with our work. As the hours waned away the orders slowed and so did I. By six, there was no more baking to be done as we tried to push the remaining treats. By eight we were closed. Emily ran the cash register after the last cashier left at five, so it was just the two of us. She didn’t mind our silence and I appreciated that.

I gathered up the remaining product other than any of the whole cakes and left the shop to give them to the shelter two streets over. Emily suggested that we give what we don’t sell to those who can’t purchase it. I liked knowing someone appreciated them. I handed the box over to the heavy black woman who works there. I didn’t know her name: all we say is ‘here you go’ and ‘thank you sweetie’. And then I left. I walked the two blocks back to my apartment above the bakery and I balanced the books for the day and took the inventory. Emily was always gone by the time I got back from the shelter. At 9:30 p.m. I reheated some food that she left me for dinner. At ten I went to bed.

I woke up at 1:51 a.m. like I always do. No, wait, that’s not right, I always wake up at 3:30. I stared at the clock in confusion, wondering why I was awake. The clock said 1:51. What was presumably another crash came from downstairs and it was so loud. It was so loud I must have woken up. I crept downstairs, trying to figure out what was happening. My mind was humming a single note, panic blurring my periphery.

There was a man in my bakery. I stood at the bottom of the staircase in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a shirt and shorts, and my feet were bare. He stood across from me wearing a jacket and boots and jeans and I couldn’t see his face under a bandana, couldn't see his hair under a baseball cap. The kitchen was very, very dark. He said something to me but I couldn’t hear him over the increasingly loud humming in my head which was rising and rising in pitch. And then it wasn’t just in my head, but it was out of my mouth and I was screaming. Waving his arms at me, he took a step closer but I didn’t know what that meant. I felt a thousand miles from him but also so, so close. His planet circled closer and closer until it crashed into mine. Something gleamed in his hand and my legs couldn’t hold me anymore, dropping me to the floor in panic. I covered my ears but kept staring at him. We had locked eye contact until he turned away. I kept screaming and screaming and then I fell away.

When I came back, it was to noise that was too much. There were sirens and they were so loud. Emily was close to me and she wasn’t touching me but she smelled nice and she was close to me, so that was enough. I focused on her and away from the flashing lights that flicked red and blue and back. Someone in a brown jacket approached us and put a hand on my shoulder. They were wearing a jacket and he had been wearing a jacket. I flinched back violently from the hand, I didn’t know who was touching me. I heard Emily shouting again but I was too far away from myself to understand what she was saying. She put her hands over her ears and locked eyes with me. I copied her. It was easier to focus when I couldn’t hear as clearly. As my breathing calmed, everyone backed away from me. Time moved around me.

“-got Asperger’s don’t put your hands on her. She doesn’t react well.” I finally made out Emily’s words. Her tone was calm but she was arguing with someone behind me. “She’s just had a serious shock, she’s frightened, she’s panicked. You would be too, just give her some space.” I was so glad to have Emily. I couldn’t tell whoever was trying to touch me that it was just too much right now. I just needed a minute, or an hour, it was hard to tell.

“Listen, ma’am, I understand she’s panicked, but maybe talking through it will help. It can’t be good to keep all that bottled up.” The voice behind me was just as calm as Emily, but the tone wasn’t aggressive. It was warm. The far edges were still dark but I turned my gaze towards the warm voice. It was a police officer; their badge was shiny. The badge was like a little winking star. The officer had a hat with a wide brim and was wearing a scarf. It looked soft and a shiver ran through me as their winter clothing reminded me that my window was broken while I wore nothing but pajamas. I tugged gently at Emily’s shoulder.

“Emily, I’m cold. I need my shawl. The window’s broken,” I told her, not sure if she’d noticed. Something about her expression changed, but not her mouth. I didn’t know what it meant but she nodded and turned to go upstairs. She and the officer stared at each other. I shivered again and she left. Then the officer stared at me and I stared back. Gently, probably copying my sister like I always do, they knelt down so we were eye to eye.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” she asked. Her voice was warm again, like Emily’s was. If she knew enough to mimic my sister’s behavior, she must have been okay to talk to. Now that I could see her, I noticed that the officer had dark, gentle eyes and dark, soft-looking skin. She felt warm like a star; warm like the sun. She reminded me of coffee and I liked coffee. “I’m Officer Thorpe,” she continued, “and I’m here to help you. I want to know what you saw, so I can find whoever busted up your shop. Is that alright? Can I help you?” she kept staring at my eyes and I tried very hard to maintain eye contact. I didn’t want her to think I was lying, and I know on TV people look away when they’re lying.

My voice was tiny when I said “Okay,” but I didn’t mean for it to be. Maybe I was more scared than I thought. Officer Thorpe smiled. I tried to smile back but it was hard. I didn’t feel like smiling right then.

“Okay, okay, great. You’re doing great. Can you tell me what happened?” she asked. My breathing sped up as I thought back to what had happened. Someone broke into my shop and broke my window and woke me up and- “Hey, hey, hey. Stop that it’s okay I’m sorry,” she said, holding her hands up but not touching me. I realized I was panicking again. I was glad she didn’t touch me. “Hey, hey, okay, breathe with me okay?” I copied her as she breathed slow and steady. I calmed a bit. She smiled at me again and I tried again. It was a little easier this time.

“Can we take it slower?” I asked, voice a little stronger this time. The officer smelled like cinnamon.

“Of course we can.” She moved a little bit closer to me. “Okay, so tell me what woke you up and we’ll go from there.” It sounded very reasonable, the way she phrased that. ‘We’ll go from there’ was promising somehow.

“I woke up at 1:51. Which is wrong, I normally wake up at 3:30.” She was nodding and writing down what I said. I was glad, because that meant I’d only have to tell the story once. I don’t think I could tell it again. “I was very confused and scared. I went downstairs because I heard a crash.” My gaze slid past Officer Thorpe to my kitchen. The crash must have been one of my stand mixers, which was on the floor. It was broken. “I guess it was my mixer. I came downstairs and he was standing across from me. We just looked at each other.”

Seemingly excited, the officer nodded quicker. “Okay, so you did see him! What did he look like? Could you see any of his features?” I leaned back a bit, trying not to let her excitement rile me up. I had to stay calm to tell the story so I could go back to sleep. I still had to wake up in a couple hours.

“It was dark when I came down. He had a bandana on his face, but he wasn’t wearing gloves. He wore a jacket and he wore a hat. He wore jeans and boots. He had a knife, I think it was from my kitchen. He stole one of my knives and he broke my window and he broke my mixer.” I frowned at this. Why would he break my mixer? The officer wrote more slowly and then she looked at me. There was something in her eyes I liked.

“Okay, so he broke in and he knocked over your mixer, which woke you up. He must have knocked it off ‘cause it was so dark.” I was very glad she was explaining this to me. “He didn’t come prepared to hurt anybody, since he grabbed one of your kitchen knives when he heard you. He took all the money that was in the register drawer that I guess was set up for today, but he didn’t mess with the safe. And you’re alright, right?” Officer Thorpe took off her scarf and gently set it on my shoulders while she talked. I didn’t realize I was still cold, but her eyes made me feel warm. The sun was so warm and it came from her eyes.

“Right,” I breathed gently. There was a cough off to the left of me, and I saw Emily standing there with my shawl. She also laid it onto me, but I somehow wished it had been Officer Thorpe. The officer flushed red at whatever expression Emily was making and she rose quickly, flipping shut her notebook.

“Well,” she said loudly, purposefully, “I guess that’s all the statement I need, ma’am.” I put my hand on her knee.

“Avery.” I said. She flushed deeper and Emily rolled her eyes in my periphery.

“I guess that’s all I’ll need, Avery,” Officer Thorpe amended. Smiling was easy now. She smiled back at me and Emily stepped into my line of sight. Reminded of her presence, the officer turned to my sister, presumably to hear her statement also. Emily followed Officer Thorpe to the door after they both gave me an order to sit at one of my baking counters and keep calm. It was easy to keep calm if I was thinking of Officer Thorpe and not the robbery. I wanted to go get coffee because I was tired, and it reminded me of the police officer, but I was told to stay where I was. The sky was lightening outside and I saw a glimpse of morning sunlight catch Officer Thorpe’s profile as she talked to my sister in the doorway. Red and blue looked good on her. Upstairs, my alarm sounded and I fidgeted with the beads on the end of my shawl.

It was 3:30 a.m., time to wake up. I had to get the breads in the oven by five.

We didn’t open the next day, or the day after that. It took two weeks to get my window fixed and to be able to reopen the business. Those were a terrifying two weeks. My schedule was gone and without it, my planet was sent adrift in the chaos of what regular people call ‘spontaneity’. But as my mother used to say before she died, ‘When an anchor rises, the ship sails’. Without my anchor, I could discover something new and something exciting, something terrifying. My new waters came in the form of Madison Thorpe, my sole customer for two weeks. Officer Thorpe came in with the sun every day at 9 a.m. for the first five days, once she learned that I really do appreciate punctuality and routine, to keep me involved with the case. I felt very relieved to be kept informed. They caught the robber after five days and he was sentenced to two years in jail and reparations for my window. And he had to pay for my mixer.

After the first five days, I had no idea why she kept coming in. Maybe she liked the biscotti? After a month, Emily began to suspect she came for my company and she informed me of this, which was both surprising and flattering to say the least. She stopped being Officer Thorpe after two months of coming into Cake Bouquet, giving me a stern “It’s Madison when I’m off duty.” Officer Thorpe became Madison, who came in at 9 a.m. for a biscotti, a cup of coffee with two sugars and no milk, a cookie for herself, and a ‘mystery treat’ for her partner. She became Madison, who liked to make jokes I didn’t understand but didn’t make fun of me for needing an explanation. She became Madison, who tried a sample tablespoon of whatever tea I was drinking that day, but hadn’t found one that didn’t make her face twist up.

Time moved around us. She became Maddie after four months of nine a.m. breakfasts, twelve p.m. lunches, and eight p.m. trips to the local shelter. She became Maddie, who loved sleeping over in my warm apartment above the bakery, but never complained about sleeping on the guest bed. She became Maddie who was bleary-eyed and incoherent at 3:30 a.m., when my alarm woke me. Mornings were accompanied by a soft touch to my face and a garbled greeting when I set a mug of coffee on her bedside table and she went back to sleep. ‘Making Maddie’s coffee’ made its way onto my laminated list. She kissed my cheek at five a.m. when she walked by me in the kitchen to go to work, and she always left with two travel mugs of coffee and six doughnuts. They were only made for her. She moved her things into the closet in the guest room, so mine could remain color coordinated and evenly spaced in my closet. She became the brilliant sun that my tiny planet orbited around. She gave me light and life. I became ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’, ‘sunshine’, ‘lovely’. She moved into my bed. We became us.

#brinley writes #wlw #i dunno its a gay story #how do you tag stories #short story #there you go

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