#sorry ive just started venting in the tags

[gobstoppr]

more harm than good

alt ver. under the cut

#art #text #digital painting #gore #cw gore #blood #cw blood #cw animal death #ask to tag #salmon #fish #fish art #sockeye salmon #eugh sorry for all the tags. trying to be safe w/ triggers and also trying to make sure. uh . anyone sees this piece #ive been working on it for a whileeee #i neglected it for like 2 weeks and i just added some finishing touches tonight #for some context: i started this piece after getting rlly mad at my mom and so i needed to vent #n i identify rlly heavily with fish n especially salmon. so. yeah

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3 #but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety #that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc #i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting #and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually #and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again... #so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working! #i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again... #and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it. #even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset! #my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time #and i still ran out of episodes... #i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but. #yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now #i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else #and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break #ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional #asks #anon #vent #delete later #and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people #(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly) #(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more #(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do) #(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)

[arcaneyouth]

i havent seen a pansexual positivity post that doesn't focus on bisexuality in years.

#im really tired #negative #i miss when i wasnt bi lite. i miss existing in queer spaces. #ive seen posts about characters being PAN SPECIFICALLY PAN THEY ARE PAN and all the replies are like. bi king #i dont want to be bi. im not bi. i know theres functionally no difference but im NOT BI #i just saw a pan positivity post that ended with a bi flag and giving support to bi people #thanks. i feel so loved. and forgotten. #cant even find pan pride shit half the time when im out n about at queer shops #bi inclusionists will go We're equals with pan people i love pan people <3 #and still not fucking call us pan. #because we're just fucking bi i guess. #sorry got so pissed about this i started crying so its getting an angry tags rant post #vent post

[deathandthemaiden23]

Me watching the dumbass Mario movie get ten times more acclaim and attention because its Mario than Puss in Boots even though Puss in Boots is easily the superior animated feature in every conceivable aspect and doesn't have a shitty leading voice actor

#puss in boots #puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots 2 #pib #pib2 #IM BITTER #CAN YOU TELL #im sure the mario movie is okay man but it sure as shit doesnt deserve ''highest grossing animated movie of all time'' #i havent seen it but i dont need to lol its a lazy corporate cashgrab based on the few snippets ive caught #maybe the animation is nice and sleek but it has no actual heart to it i can tell #they dont do anything groundbreaking with it its played very safe from what i hear #sorry this is your weekly installment of what grinds my gears lol #btw im not tagging this with mario tags bc i aint starting discourse over this shit lmfao #just a quick vent

[klonoadoortophantomile]

why does school actuallymake me feel like im going crazy this shit is not that difficult

#okayprobably isnt helping that i havebt been eating very well lately but #💔 #ACTUALLY WHAT IS WRONG W ME HELP #<- read that in a comedic tone . like im just kinda baffled at this point #will i change my behavior? work to improve myself ? probably not #god i did literally nothing today i have a million overdue assignnts #i shouldve been working on. i didnt even do anything for fun ive just sat in my room watched a letsplay episode and thought abt #getting things done. i was pacing around in circles for like literally an hourjudt now my feet hurt so bad what the fuck #this is incrediblly disjointed sorry. im literally just ramvling to complain #i need to start keeping a diary or some shit . if only writing didnt hurt my hand so much #whatevrr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill get over this probably im just going thru it for some reason #inqusitivewaltz.txt #vent #tagging for filtering purposes this is kinda just me oversharing vaguely. idk

[zenyuumi]

.

#vent tag #GRRGRGRR FUCK IM STRESSED OUT #ive been having the worst memory lately and im getting scared #i keep forgetting places and people important to me and i hate it #i already forgot the last name of someone who used to be one of my dearest friends and i cant remember it no matter how hard i try #i get terrified thinking about what ill forget next. my memories with my family are also getting really foggy #what if when they all die i start to forget their faces and their voices and all the time ive spent with them #i dontw ant that to happen #i think im gonna go insane #i dont want time to pass i just want everything to be still #sorry ill be normal again just giv me 5 minutes

[revvywevvy]

yknow i've mentioned before that chelly is very capable of being violent and explosive. however the most ever angry i've ever drawn her is mildly upset. plus there was the memey-ish thing with chelly literally begging chip to let her bite maim kill people for him.

i kinda wanna draw chelly completely snapping. chelly getting a little too silly.

#cell screams #cw vent #//<- just incase lol #//fun fact that horse toon ive mentioned a few times? sam bucus? yeah he's based on my actual childhood bully #//this might start looking like a vent from here-on and will get violent so little warning if you keep reading these tags #//but yeah since my actual bully ruined my childhood and social development and never apologized i feel a lot of hatred as u can see. #//and since actually getting revenge on the real guy is both illegal and a total waste of my time im just going to take out said rage #//on the toon version of said guy. is that deranged? maybe. at least im self aware about it idk lol #//i am very close to just drawing chelly killing bucus or something idfk. #//but i am not wasting time trying to hunt down some asshole brat who definitely played a big part in me being so fucked up today #//bc like. he had a chance to apologize senior year. then when a friend told him to apologize he fuckin vanishes into thin air never to be #//seen again until graduation night. so in my opinion i think he didnt regret anything and wasnt sorry. #//which sucks bc in my traumatized rage i definitely said some fucked up shit to him too as a kid and would've apologized as well. #//but there was a chance for closure. i tried to find him too to try and get that closure but no. there never will be closure. its over now #//so instead im going to unleash a teeny tiny portion of my bottled up decades long rage and hatred #//on an anthropomorphic purple horse. :) #//besides sam bucus did more fucked up things to chelly than my irl bully since bucus is a culmination of EVERYTHING thats #//fucked me up in life whether it be mental machinations; intrusive thoughts or things that actually happened #//so while perhaps my real bully doesnt deserve death; SAM BUCUS SURE DOES AND HE'S GONNA GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #// :) #//sorry for my violent rambling i got it out of my system now thanks for reading my weird bullshit lmao

[betta-every-day]

Prepared for a summer full of projects!

#honestly i didnt know what to caption this lmao #im staying in Rochester over the summer with my uni fellowship #and im really trying to load myself up on things to do #im grateful #and excited!! #not to vent a little in my own tags but #as much as this satisfied me #seeing how far ive come and doing what I love #I really wish someone else would at least feign interest in it too #is that too much? #im not close to too many people #and the lack of enthusiam from specific important people (person) keeps giving me these empty pangs #not that anyone else needs to or is obligated to care about my life #...but it would be nice to feel a part of something #if that makes sense #and the lonely summer has only just started :') #(probably will delete later and repost without tags but it makes me feel slightly better having it out there ig) #academia #sorry for a novella in the tags

[scalpelsister]

.

#posting here to explain my jinx posting without like. venting in some poor gif makers tags #but basically. goodbye by ramsey came on in my mix and that reminded me of my ex qpp / childhood best friend #and how the day before my birthday marks. 8 months. of not having her around and in my life #like to give context: we met in kindergarten. we where like. 5 lol. #like we where very close for 16 years #/I do not really remember being a person without her at my side/ #and ive been doing the thing I do where I dont really unpack things? like I had my little heart break when it happened obviously but #I then was like. well ok no more crying lets get on with it #and i am just starting to realize that I have not been getting on with it and also that this is perhaps going to be a bit hard to unpack #and come back from #and i am also wondering if this isnt having fun exciting new bad consequences on my social skills #and how i am interacting with. literally everyone. #like literally if you know me right now I am so sorry holy shit lmao #i also do not have any support group anymore. like this is not me asking for one from internet strangers its just uh #a bit worrisome that I have no therapist no very close friend no parental figure or family member who can fill those roles for me #like my dad financially helps me and I am grateful but I havent seen him sober in weeks. months even. and also he is only interested in the #woman he met. he literally probably spends more time with her kids #than he does with me #and theyve been dating for less than a month #with his last gf he literally was constantly going on about her kid like it was his kid and i was a work friend #like cool just say you dont love me and would kick me out if you had the heart to next time actually. #so yeah im having a really good good fun normal time right now :) #my post

[valleyyofthemoonnn]

bitches will create a sideblog just to post their art n then never post there

(im bitches)

#idk im just looking at my art blog like Damn Bitch You Live Like This ? #i always wonder why my silly little shitpost blog has more followers than my art and its like!! Bitch Post Maybe ?? #ive been having very severe artblock that goes on and off since like . January i think? #ive only made a few ‘finished’ pieces since the start of the year … #and its either gifts for my friends or low effort things i dont feel like posting #other than that its just alll been unfinished sketches / little shitpost drawings #i guess i could post those as well? but im always like. very self conscious abt showing my ‘messy’ art .. idk why #im a perfectionist when it comes to sharing my art online so . i guess that is why i post like once every 6 months #and then contemplate deleting it the very next day lmao #but its just that more lately ive been really struggling to make. anything at all #i just stare at a blank canvas for hours and its killing me #bc i usually use art to unwind and relax .. but its been a very stressful year for me already #its sucked out all my motivation to do Any form of art - but drawing especially….. #WOW this became a vent post fast LMAO #im hoping after im done with school in a few weeks i’ll find the motivation to pump out several drawings a week like i used to #but for now . Stuggling . #rambles of a sad man #<- im sorry i’ll probably never use this vent tag again but it was . Right there

[spirirsstuff]

sorry i died today i got some news yesterday and the existential dread really set in today

#randomrambles #tw vent/animal death if you decide to read the tags #there’s this cat my family has had in our barn we don’t know how old she was but at least 21. since she was around before my cousins #and i hadn’t seen her the past few days and just yesterday did my parents’ employee find her dead in the hay #i mean we only barely started being able to make her not hate us and it didn’t sting too much yesterday #but today it’s sunk in and making me feel worse #i mean i was promised a new kitten in the spring but still #ive lived my whole life and my cat was just there as a part of it. it’s like when you rearrange furniture #for a while it just feels so uncanny. something is wrong. something is different. but you can’t change it back since it’s gone #sorry im just not doing so good right now it’s all hitting at once

[spikrock]

do you guys ever get like. genuinely emotional when you think about alternate realities where you dont like your favorite things

#this is just a vent post but #sometimes i just think about like what if theres an alternate timeline where i dont like the things i like now #something that WOULDNT affect me yet it makes me so upset? #this happens with alot of stuff but mainly my bass playing because that really just started due to a coincidence #(i was put into my school orchestra because i turned in my classes form late and they just shoved me in. and i was too shy to ask to leave) #(it literally could have been any other class and it all depended on like three different factors that easily could have been different) #(if that had never happened i wouldnt play double bass and i most likely would not play bass guitar) #and that SCARES ME #it also happens with aiw #cuz when i started a*w92 i almost talked myself out of it because i thought it would be “cringe” to watch something like that #what if i had LISTENED to myself i would not like ANYTHING aiw #sorry im just #agh #rambling #i think this is like the only time ive tagged one of my posts rambling and had it actually be correct #cuz wtf is this

[s-nnys]

already having a rough night then was just met with the abrupt and harsh realization that my ideal future may just be straight up impossible

i've finally had some sort of rough plan for where my life could be headed and i don't know if it's actually possible for it to happen or not. this is a... rather new feeling of empty.

i miss being a kid when i didn't have to worry about anything other than my math homework why does being an adult have to be so hard

#personal sweep #sad sunny #ive made the impossible happen before #surely everything will work out #i need it to #at least it's distant plans and not immediate #that's enough time to maybe figure something out #i'm a mess tonight sorry #i dont like twitter nor do i like getting super specific abt thinfs #so i'm just going to start publicly venting on tumblr dot com #fairly light vents #it's also a bit of a cry for help and to be heard #but you'll never get me to admit that outside of tags! #venting #putting that there so it can be blocked if anyone following rightfully doesn't care slash doesn't want to see for any reason

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?

So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[unfunnyaceartist]

Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it

I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.

Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.

Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.

sorry im dumb haha

#tw vent #By the time I finished writing the post I was no longer a mess about it but im still gonna post it #I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I SEE ANYONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY OWN ISSUES IM GONNA BE PISSED #yall read all the tags its beneficial lol #Ngl SOME of this jealousy hits hardest with Gummy #because Ill FINALLY get fed some simp food for myself #and then yk #theyll kinda show up and ask to receive the same stuff #or act jealous #gummy #babe I love you #BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE FEEDING YOU GUMMYBUNNY CONSTANTLY???? #Like mine is rare and far between #and I dont draw much selfship unlike you #LET ME HAVE SOME THINGS DAMMIT #And then Darken over here when I get a cool new friend just like: #... is for me? 🥺👉👈 #/nm for both things #im the embodiment of envy and greed arent I... #I hate upsetting people #I just keep it to myself and internalize my emotions mostly #haha now you guys know how possessive and jealous I am #its giving yandere 🥰💅✨🗣💃🕺😍😘😼🤠🤭😇🙄🤩😜😝🤑🧐😈 #i regret my life choices right about now

[ship-discourse-confessions]

ive seen this take going around and i wanna throw in my two cents.

"No survivor has ever experienced healing while jacking off to incest porn"

hi i am a survivor who had one of my most cathartic breakthrough moments while cumming to incest fic. i achieved the ability to feel safe in my own body despite the full knowledge of what had happened to me living inside of my bones every day. I know it probably sounds crazy to survivors who are just starting their journey to recovery, but it's possible to feel okay and it's possible to feel safe. It's even possible to be so recovered you no longer have to avoid your triggers because they no longer trigger you. THAT'S how recovered incest fic can let you be if you use it responsibly. But don't listen to jackasses online like me, trust your feelings and don't lie to your therapist. Your journey is your own, and your recovery is under your complete control. Congratulations!!!

When engaging with art written by a fellow survivor it's very common to find that one's experiences and emotions are reflected very accurately. That can be scary! Seeing as sexual assault is a broad umbrella that encompasses many acts and experiences, it stands to reason that victims of sexual assault will have an equally varied set of experiences. This means that if you are a survivor of sexual assault, it is common and likely that you will encounter a fellow survivor who has completely different experiences, and different reactions to those experiences.

Because we are all so different, it can feel difficult to feel understood, or to feel as though one has found solidarity. I understand where the upset comes from, I really do.

However, antis, just because you do not relate, just because you feel bad or gross reading/seeing someone's work, does not mean you are allowed to be mean to them. It means you are supposed to block them.

If every depiction of my abuse were to be scrubbed from the internet then how would I know I wasn't alone? Who would I talk to? How would I know I hadn't been "broken"? How would I know that other people reacted the same way that I did? How would I know I was still worthy of love? Would I be able to feel "understood"?

(These questions are designed to provoke thought. The answer to these questions in my experience has been that support networks of others who have experienced similar abuse does not match my experiences, and that only others who have experienced abuse that is Very Very Similar To My Own can evoke this catharsis euphoria, or "belonging". My experience is that in order to find those with similar experiences, one must locate posts describing those experiences, or one must make those posts oneself.)

It is understandable if an anti finds themself feeling alienated in certain spaces. This is a sign that they have not found a community supportive of them! They should and deserve to find that community and feel connected and happy!! They are not allowed to send mean messages to other survivors! They are not allowed to decide who is and is not a survivor! They are not allowed to make posts telling lies about other survivors! I do not understand why so many antis are comfortable treating other humans this way. I can't understand why so many antis are proud of treating fellow survivors this way.

Incest fic was there for me in my darkest moments, whump as a brutal reminder that i wasn't alone in what had happened to me, fluff as an unrealistic wish fulfillment fantasy of how my abuser SHOULD have treated me, multichapter for exploring the long term behavioral impacts of abuse, and porn without plot for when my body is being hypersexual due to flashbacks. i just really don't get antishippers man, you can block tags and block users who post untagged. you don't have to see anything that you do not want to. I get where the upset comes from, but i never understand why it stays to be vented at fellow survivors.

.

( don't be sorry for sending long asks anon! that's the point here: to send whatever you're thinking or feeling. my audience is whoever wants to send me stuff which includes stuff like this, you're okay anon <3 )

#shipping discourse