#sorry if i'm posting more infrequently this week

[otomiyaa]

Re: 💌

Finally getting to respond to those who were so kind to me in messages, comments, and reblogs in the past week! @otomiya-tickles was a blog with mainly tickle fics, but you guys definitely made it feel like there was more to it :)

I piled all my answers into one big post and will treasure them for as long as Tumblr decides to keep me online this time 🤭

@lovelymessybubbly: Ahhh I remember sending that ask long ago and always wondered if you received it. I still think the timing (of my leave and your return) is ridiculous hehehe, but I'm also glad to stick around and to see you back! I hope the hiatus has been good^^

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@dokidoki-muffin: absolutely honored to have inspired you and not only that, I think you're a great friend and I love our chats and our recent collab had me filled with joy^^ !! 🧁

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@fluffandgiggles: I love your blog, the fics you write and the fandoms you choose and your kind personality, I'm glad you got to go from anon to your own blog and hope you can have fun with it for as long as you like to!

@skayleay: Sending love back to you, thank youu*w*

@beth-bethar00: Thank you 🥺

@tiredleekaz: Your message made me giggle hehe thank you for the support for the x amount of years, I also realized how easy it is to lose count when I think of all my different 'tumblr eras' 😂

@lilliee0: Sorry you had to find out this way hehe, and thank you! My account is in a good place *dramatic music plays* (no it's actually not lmao)

@rachi-roo: The Real OG 😳 I'm not sure I can accept that compliment but I thank you for it!! :3

@blobbirobbi: Sending love right back, also your tickle stories are always welcome hohoho

Anon #1: Heheh right! I know I"ve once said that even if I would quit my blog, I would never deactivate voluntarily (and definitely not without announcement) so it would have to be Tumblr to take care of that. To think that actually happened :). Hope you have a lovely day too!

Anon #2: Ahh I'm glad I could help introducing you to the tk community! Thank you for enjoying my fics, all the best to you too!^^

@infrequent-creator: Don't miss me yet, I won't be gone entirely :) I'll be here, and I'll be loud. Just my fic production will come to an indefinite stop, or break. Who knows.

@yourgigglebugmaya: Ahhh that flatters me! Thank you so much^^

@shyanon01: Thank you for the sweet message!

@hakurei-k: Hahaha! Well I'm still here too and ready to adore Solomon together.

@dirtpie39: I had to google that lololol ('sike'). Thank you for re-following^^

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@sunstone-smiles: T-T thank you a lot!!

@moongeonight: 4 years ago!! ahhh I'm happy to hear it and hope you're still having fun! :D

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@shy-lee-chu: Love you sweetie, I won't write many new fics so hope you won't be bored by me ;)

@eliankrios: Elian, I'm definitely okay thank you! I'll be mainly here to eat up the content you post ^^

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@flames-tstuff: I DON'T DESERVE YOU! ❤️❤️ Hehe answering all these messages to me feels like an entire ceremony already 🙈 And thank youuu, those 13k posts and 7k followers were from a total of 7 years of active fic writing on Tumblr though for a ton of various fandoms, I don't deserve too much credit for it ^^

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@kusuguricafe: Thank you for staying with me too 😘

@crazy-as-a-jaybird: *hug* thank youuuu T-T

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@ticklystuff: Thank you so much, will do!! I am reviving my animal crossing island (inspired by you and sezzie🤭)

@fantasizes-tickles-daily: I read about so many heartattacks and feel so sorry hehe, thank you for finding me again and for supporting my new one!^^ I can't believe I even considered not making a new blog. Your blog alone gives me the serotonin I need.

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@intheticklecloset: Thank you for the kind words and support!! T-T I look forward to enjoying the community from the sideline hehe:)

@ppystkposts: All these from anon to blogger stories make me kick my feet in delight! It's a chain reaction, I'm sure you will inspire others to start their blog as well. Your art and kindness most surely will do that^^ thank you for the support!

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@giggly-squiggily: waaa that's so sweet, thank youuuu!*0* I'll remember it!^^

@fanfic-chan: Ahhhh thank youu:D I used to call my blog my happy place and am more than happy to turn this one into that as well. Thank you for your message!

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@tickle-panile, @kiwithelee, @ticklish-sidekick, @mai-mei thank you for your concern*w*!

Special thanks to @lovelynim and @wertzunge for their instant share of my update, to @ticklygiggles for dealing with the questions about my absence, even the nasty ones. Sigh, I don't like they were rude to you! ah and also, it was Mia's message I woke up to when my blog was gone x) Never forget.

....and also ofc special speciaaaaal thanks to everyone else who reached out in DMs (I hope I answered you by now but will check soon), and to my dear friends on discord 😘

even though tumblr makes it look like my blog never existed, my evil spirit will live on and I'll keep being annoying 🤣

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If I forgot anyone's message I deeply apologize ToT !!!!

#<333 #otomiya-tickles

[ilikecarsandlike4people]

Right, so, a bit of an update: Getting back to work, my sick leave is ending soon. I'm actively working on comms, that's kind of why posts have been a bit infrequent. Sorry, I work very slowly. I've been seeing my family over the weekend and I'm finally back home, hopefully I can manage alone🌸 Putting the health update under the cut, tw discussion of medical terms. Hope you have a great day! -R

So, got back the whole MRI report from my doctor, apparently what we're looking at is lumbar degeneration with a herniated disc. This however is not the cause of all of the various symptoms I am showing, because the disc alone is NOT capable of causing them. Knee showed no signs of arthritis, which is very good, blood work showed some weirdness with my iron levels so, that's being taken care of.

So, moving on, I am going to be starting PT rehab next week, hoping to see some improvement. new supplements, new meds and a dash of hope, heh.

Since this is not the sole cause of the symptoms, I haven't been able to get a conclusive diagnosis which means I have to return to work. I cannot take more than 60 days of sick leave per year without a valid diagnosis, so that is kind of... stressing me out.

#personal #update #life update #cw medical #health stuff

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

had to put these on hold for a while for personal reasons </3 they're likely to still be infrequent, but in honor of kirb2k!

(my notes would only load back to mid september so I missed a couple weeks sorry :c but be warned that this is a long one! it's 3 entire months' worth!)

also, reminder that kirb2k ends tomorrow!!! preorders, commissions, and auctions will all close at noon pst on sunday december 17th! everything is linked in the pinned post or filed under the tag kirb2k!

first is one more birthday kirb from my friend @sleepy-sheep-wizard:

Realized halfway thru that I don’t know what Kirby looks like off the top of my head, so I got funky with it. Happy birthday, thank you for being a good friend

thank you again friend <3 getting funky with it is truly in the spirit of just drawing a little guy for fun, I love his little hat in particular.

on [mirror] @shapeshifterwithafez said: uuuh is Scherben bringen Glück/ Shards bring luck a universal saying? sounfs clinky as a direct translation. anyways in germany we say that shards of stuff you broke brings luck so I hope the luck finds you or smth sorry for rambling ^^

I'd never heard this saying before, but I think it's very sweet! thank you for sharing it with me :)

on [pipefight] @hauntedppgpaints said: goalies with a skate blade and their stick in hand

big hockey vibes for real yeah lol

on [pink] @gaydiation-poisoning said: ...I wanna eat that pink

honestly same, it's sooo pleasing

on [rain] @hive-heart said: Everything alright, daily kirby guy?

not really but sitting by the window in the rain is a good thing lol thanks for asking <3

(also the person who tagged that same post myhouse.wad made me laugh)

on [photo] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a picture of their cat and said: get adored idiot!! see the hate in her eyes? I’ll make her love me yet!!

me @ my partner's cat

@violet-dragongirl said: oh! I have been meaning to ask! Have you played Kirby and The Forgotten Lands? I assume you did but just wanted to say that I did about a week ago and I loved it and thought of your art! ^.^ And if you haven't, yes, Carby is super adorable and amazing :3

I have! I got it very shortly after it came out, I had a really good time with it. I've been slowly replaying it recently with my partner, they were kind of fond of kirby just by proxy but since we started playing they adore bandee now and say he never gets enough screen time XD I'm glad you also had fun!

on [mice] @ceylonsilvergirl said: girls like swarms of things, right?

idk bro my wife wasn't so big on it when I got a gig housing 30 mice, but maybe she's weird. I liked them. (sadly one of the best paying jobs I've ever had up until the owner lost it and abandoned them with me, yes I still took care of them for the rest of their little lives) (and yes I also got my wife's okay before I took them on in the first place)

on [covid] @mordantivore said: reading posts from when the era of covid safety was declared anathema and ended is haunting. we were so desperate to find ppl willing to help us stay alive. there are fewer of us now bc “allies” are worthless & more of us have died

yeah. fuck. I'm lucky that the people in closest proximity to me are at least moderately careful, but me and my wife and partner are usually the only ones wearing masks anywhere we go except sometimes the employees and I know they don't always wear them when they're out without me.

on [swim] @northeasternwind said: Jdjdjfkg imagining Kirby being way more bouyant than your average human so them gotta exhale REAL HARD or attach nega-floaties (sinkies?) like weights to dive

lol yeah they probably gotta try So Hard to actually get under the water. (I think diving weights/ballast is a thing that humans use too? I've never gone diving, having my face underwater stresses me out -n- )

on [float] @nickiemoot said: he has to go now. his planet needs him. *slide whistle*

I can only hear this as that one similar part from one of the asdfmovies, it delights me

@vampiricarus said: if you see this just know i love your art so much

aww thank you! <3

anonymous said: just wanted to say I love Kirby and I love your art! I’m always excited to see it on my dash. thank you for bringing a little joy to my life :) I need it once in a while like I’m sure a lot of others do too! Keep up the good work :))

thank you! drawing a little guy brings me a little joy too, I'm glad it can do the same for others <3

on [drain] @ceylonsilvergirl said: I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Existing is hard work sometimes. A lot of the time

fuck dude it sure is <3 especially when my body keeps trying to shut down lol

on [mud] @why-are-all-the-fun-urls-taken said: Hey man are u doing ok

I am not, thanks for asking <3

on [tummyache] @hobgirl said: :o kirby the gorb why would you do that!!!!! why!!!!!

I didn't want it to go to waste!!! everyone is dumb sometimes!!!

on [wizard] @eau-the-agony said: not enough appreciation in the wizarding world for garlic salt spell. its all kung pow penis tgis and ketamine ape that. not enough of the small joys which carry us through the horrors like a dinky garbage raft

you are so right. the small joys are the most powerful of all.

on [wizard] @beepbeepdespair said: somehow didnt know garlic salt was a thing until this moment. now i really want some. i think i just found a kg of it online for 12 quid??

I am so pleased that you now have the knowledge of Garlic Salt Spell, I hope you got to try it out for yourself :D

on [zelda] @chaos-squared said: Good job!! I’ve had it for longer yet still haven’t completed it ;w;

nothing wrong with that! I only finished it as quickly and thoroughly as I did because I was basically bedridden for all of october, as long as you enjoy the time you do spend with a game it doesn't really matter how much time you spend or how far you get.

on [brave] @gudetamalover said: me tomorrow afternoon when I get all four wisdom teeth out

I'd already had several other oral surgeries on account of Weird Teeth before I got my wisdom teeth out but it still knocked me on my ass for a couple days, I hope your recovery went as smooth as possible! (altho that was also like. 15 years ago. and general anesthesia has gotten a lot better since then.)

on [shiny] @angst-and-fajitas said: Like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

bald! bald! bald! bald!

on [powerwash] @chronicdilf said: decemberb 16 im goign to walk across the damn stage get my damn diploma folder im going to go home and POWERWASHER SIMULATOR JUST LIKE KIRBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!!! you're gonna do it!!! you might be doing it right now even!!!

on [cooked] @hobgirl said: oh mood kirby..... struggling with the very last paper i need to write before i can graduate and its got me feeling this way fr

ough, I hope you made it through your paper! lots of people graduating tho that's so cool, congrats to both of you!

on [bears] @jupiterlandings said: I get so happy every time I see Cake and the name Cake being tagged :)

it's such a good name for a bear, I'm grateful you thought of it!! especially given the best I could do for the other one was "kirbear" lol

@violet-dragongirl said: omg seeing that Fav Grobs Post you recently put up makes me so happy! over a thousand (and then some!) GORBS?! :D I'm not only impressed but so proud ya made it this far and I'm so glad you got possibly more to go of Kirby!! :D!! Really great job 🥰🥰

thank you! I'm gonna hit 2000 days of drawing kirby tomorrow, that's so wild!

on [popular] @timeturner-jay said: Op your Kirby art brings so much utter joy you have no idea <3

yay I'm glad <3 I love to draw a little guy, it's good I'm not the only one having fun lol

I got a lot of "good blaze op" on the [macarena], and you're all correct, thank you for recognizing my great decision making B) (I'd been meaning to add the music and blaze it from basically the moment I drew it, I've just been really sick so it took a while.)

(also even if I don't always gather them in the roundup there are names I recognize showing up repeatedly in the tags, some of whom have been here for years, and I'm always glad to see you're still around!)

#text #title text #long post #readmore #reply roundup #asks answered #kirb2k #swearing #coronavirus #sleepy-sheep-wizard #not my art #shapeshifterwithafez #hauntedppgpaints #gaydiation-poisoning #hive-heart #ceylonsilvergirl #violet-dragongirl #mordantivore #northeasternwind #nickiemoot #vampiricarus #anonymous #why-are-all-the-fun-urls-taken #hobgirl #eau-the-agony #beepbeepdespair #chaos-squared #gudetamalover #angst-and-fajitas #chronicdilf

[knullanon]

A/N:

hey guys! I know I haven't been posting at all for a few months, and I want to give you guys an explanation for why because I know that I just left without saying much.

recently, I have had problems with becoming extremely angry all the time. to the point where I get pissed off at tiny things like someone drinking their water, talking to loud, basically small things that completly throw me off all the time. It's gotten to the point I actually start to shake when these things happen and people notice it. obviously I'm not yelling at somebody for drinking water or breathing, I just say I'm cold if they notice it, but I dont know why I have this issue to the point I can't focus anymore because I'm so mad. It's gotten more tolerable since I started noticing it, but it's definitely still there and a problem.

I won't be completely leaving the blog, don't worry, but posts might be more infrequent. I hope that since I posted something today I'll be able to post something next week, especially with my classes almost done. I also have a lot more family functions to go to because of everyone graduating, and those are out of state, so if I do end up taking more than a week long break, I'll let you guys know.

I'm so sorry for not saying anything at all, and I really hope I'll be able to focus more to write you guys more stuff. I love you guys 💗

[busdriver-55]

Featuring Chronic Pain/Illness

Making this list/post was and is pretty personal for me tbh. In my last rec post I know I vaguely mentioned that I was going through something personal that was really intense and pretty scary, I still am tbh, which is why my posts are infrequent. For those who are following me for my recommendation posts - I'm sorry for being a disappointment, but I can explain. The title of this post "featuring chronic pain/illness" may seem morbid, but I needed to make a list for myself first and everyone else who was looking for relatable fics to read. Now we're about to get personal: I'm not well. I have been going through the diagnosis process for debilitating chronic pain. I'm not gonna say any more than that, but the fics on this list have really helped me feel less alone, and whilst I don't have every single illness/issue featured in every fic on the list, I do have some of them. But basically I just wanted to share these, especially as there isn't a lot of representation of chronic pain/illness in the media and books let alone fandom and these fics took a long time and a lot of effort to find. I really hope they can help anyone going through smthn similar to me. To everyone else, please enjoy the list - the fics on here are all really great. 🤕💖🏥🙏🏻

little sicks by violethoure666: Rey and Ben have a good thing going. They meet up once a week to have filthy, casual sex. Everything is totally fine, until Rey gets sick. As Rey's life falls apart, Ben's role in it begins to change; as her control over her situation slips away, her desire for the kind of rough, painful sex that she and Ben bonded over slips away with it. Without that, does she have anything left to offer? (undiagnosed chronic illness)

i will hide you when it gets too much by @dankobah: Rey and Ben are roommates. Somehow they have managed to live in the same apartment with very limited face to face interaction - seriously they communicate over text. One day when Ben wakes up in extreme pain due to his Fibro, he hears Rey puking her guts out in the bathroom, worried ge decides to go check on her and see if he can help. Neanwhile Rey who's has CFS since high school, is struggling with flareups of excruciating period pain. What follows is the two of them trying to take care of themselves and each other, as they realise that they don't have to fight this alone. (Fibromialgia, ME/CFS, Endometriosis)

Hanging by a Moment by @crossingwinter: There are many things that Ben could have tolerated about his parents’ divorce. That his mother had finally had it with his father’s borderline illegal—or rather, as he liked to put it, borderline legal—company, the shady activities it covered that would doubtlessly end her political career if a reporter got hold of them; that his father had finally had it with the way his mother nags, because sure, he’d thought it was hot twenty years ago, but he is in fact an adult who can actually keep his shit together—all that he would have gotten. He’d have been wrecked, but he’d have gotten it. His dad leaving his mom for a nineteen-year-old gold-digger though, and his mother not even putting up a fight—that had caught him by surprise. (MS - Multiple Sclerosis)

Jumping Into The Deep End by AnneAnna: She's his Sugar Baby at Night, his niece and nephews' Nanny by Day, his wife in name to get better Health Insurance. But Rey and Ben are positive this won't get messy. (Diabetes)

Meet Me at the Pier by @impossiblefangirl0632: A commuter meet cute where Ben and Rey are both narcoleptics. Ben was diagnosed years ago but Rey is struggling to accept she even has a problem. She’s a student, she’s just tired, everything’s fine. Until it’s not. (Narcolepsy)

Pressure Point by vuas: After taking a hit in the parking lot after a kickboxing competition, Rey suffers a severe neck injury. She is assigned Dr Ren, a chiropractor to help with her pain. (chronic neck pain) -> this one's also pretty smutty but the rep is there for me

honey sweet (lips zipped) by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora): Rey had always been good at keeping secrets. Considering her childhood, a husband was a fairly small secret to keep. (Diabetes)

#reylo #fanfic recs #featuring illness #chronic illness #chronic pain #hospital #soft Ben Solo #soft Rey #modern au

[satans-left-asscheeky]

I might need a follow up to Self Destructively Selfless Vampire Sole and Hancock honestly his response got me shook

Thanks for the ask! I know now reading this back you wanted an after the fact comfort type of drabble, but I must've misread it my first time around so I made a whole drabble about before, leading up to and after a vampire sole feeding on Hancock thats super angsty... Sorry. If you want me to write a follow up- follow up post just let me know. 🤷🤷🤷

To keep things as simple as possible (and also because I'm complete ass at dialog) I have Hancock's dialog in red and Soles dialog in blue. Also this is my first attempt at writing anything like this so if it's not perfect, or completely sucks that's why (I know the pacing is weird lmao. Hopefullyill get better at that as time goes on). Please excuse the shitty grammar too I tried my best to fix all the typos I could find, but I'm sure there's still more I didn't catch so bare with me.

Also everything under the cut is entirely SFW as in not 18+ explicit, but

TW: Slight drug use, talk of death, slight self inflicted violence, distorted thinking and over all dark themes.

Him and Sole had been running another damn settlement errand for Preston when he noticed them looking a little unwell. They had been going all day without a single break and it was now the middle of the fucking night. He'd assumed it was the walking without stop for a whole week, or the exhaustion that made them look so sickly, and if it wasn't that then it was the infrequent food and water breaks that caused their cheeks to look especially hollow and their color to turn an ashy shade of grey. Come to think of it the last time he'd seen someone look that sickly was when his pa took him and his jack ass brother out fishing... he'd laughed at Mcdonough then, as he was spilling his lunch into the water, but they weren't his jack ass brother, they were Sole. He knew now that he saw them as a whole hell of a lot more than a friend... well he could admit it now at least. Truth be told he'd been enamored with them ever since they had walked into goodneighbor. Truth be told he'd been looking for any excuse he could find to take off with them, and when they straight up asked him to tag along with them, it was almost enough to make John believe in fate again. Almost. They still kept him at arms length, like they were scared to let him close. He didn't really blame them, he knew what he looked like, but still it cut deep in ways he didn't think he could hurt anymore.

He'd continued to walk beside them offering them a few chems to pass the time and help with their sudden illnes. His whole face would light up a little upon their acceptance, as he reached into his pocket for some med-x. Not his usual fix, but with the way they looked he figured they could use some and who was Hancock if not accommodating. They'd promptly roll up their sleeves for him to inject them casually falling into the same song and dance they'd been doing for months now. He liked how they never asked him for chems, but they never shyed away from the either. Most people only got close to him to get their fix, and he could tell that for them it was just an added perk of bringing him along. After peircing their pretty smooth skin in the ivory moonlight he'd kiss just under the spot he stabbed previously. Duality ya know?

"Always such a gentleman" they teased.

"You don't know the half" he winked suggestively. which made them roll their eyes hard and turn on their heels. He'd pull the jet container from his pocket and take a deep drag watching the way the moonlight hit their hair and made their eyes twinkle. Even in the darkness they seemed to have this sparkle about them... okay so maybe he had it bad, but they didn't have to know that. Not yet anyway.

The night sky twinkled above them. The stars and moon were the only thing illuminating their path. The rest of the hour was filled with the comfortable silence of the night as they moved closer to the spot Preston marked on their map. That's what he loved about sole he never had to force conversation because the silence was never awkward. Yet he also never had to stay silent because they were the easiest person to talk to in the commonwealth. He thinks thats why he fell for them... Because of how comfortable they made him feel. Sure he'd had plenty of hot and heavy relationships where his partner had him always on his toes, always waiting for the thrill of what came next, but with sole it was different. Sole made him feel safe, possibly for the first time in his life... and thats what scared him. Because he's not sure what he'd do to keep that safety. To keep them. He'd become addicted to them worse than any chem and the withdrawal would break him. He knew that, but like usual the high came before the low, and besides that'll be future him's mess to clean. For now he was gonna live in the moment and relish every damn second.

These thoughts continued to plague his thoughts as they moved closer to the settlement, costal cottage Preston had called it, he noticed Sole looking more and more weary. He again brushed it off, because if something was wrong they'd tell him right? Maybe it was just the jet playing tricks on him again. They're probably just tired or something, right?

As more time elapsed and they approached costal cottage Hancock immediately knew something was wrong with sole. Very wrong. Their breath was labored and they now had one hand wrapped around their torso and were struggling to walk straight. How could he have let it get this bad? He didn't know exactly what was going on, but one way or another it was his fault for not realizing how bad it was earlier. It was his fault for being to caught up in his own head to pull it out of his ass for a second and realize what was going on. He looked around the open terrain in an attempt to find shelter, thought the darkness really wasn't helping... he could just barely make out a completely destroyed house farthest from them, but thankfully nearest was a decent looking shed. Perfect. He wrapped his arms around their waist and silently began pulling them towards it. Dammit, he hated himself for letting it get to this point, but there would be plenty of time to beat himself up about it once he got to the bottom of it.

As he made his way over to the shed sole in his arms he heard the sound that could only be mirelukrks popping up out of the ground. Dammit this day really couldn't get any worse. Instead he opted to pick sole up beneath the legs and rush them bridal style into the shed. Quickly diving into their waistband he retrieved the small pistol they kept there and placed into their limp hands. Shit they looked really bad. This was the worse damn time for this...

"I'll be right back if anything happens yell okay?" he said standing and turning on his heels quickly dashing back outside

"Hey! You crabby fucks come and get me!" he yelled violently into the darkness leading the lurks away from the shed. He could hear their legs hitting the ground, and their claws preemptively snapping at him more than he could see them. He ran as fast as he could, shotgun already in hand, he begun taking his aim. He shot at them one by one making sure the each got a taste of how pissed he was. Truth be told he probably did need something to shoot just then...

once they were dealt with he ran back over to Sole's limp figure frantically. He dropped to his knees and began assessing the damage. There were no visible wounds somehow. How could that even be possible? The way they fell to the ground... they were clearly severely ill... which meant it was probably something more underlying and serious. Shit.

"Hancock...." He jumped at the sound of their voice. Got it was good to hear them, but damn did they sound weak.

"It's okay sole, it's gonna be okay. let's get outta here..." He began to position his hands under their legs preparing to carry them bridal style yet again to get them out of here and to help.

"No!" they grabbed his arm once again rendering him stunned "We can't john"

"You're hurt we need help! Hold still."

"John stop! Listen to me!" They yelled causing him to stop his attempt to pick them up.

"John... I've been meaning to tell you... I really have it's just... the timing was never right and-" he sat silently waiting for them to finish confused as to what they could even possible be about to tell him

"I-I'm.... Im a vampire..." They finished softy. Well he definitely wasn't expecting that. Their face was unreadable and their overall tone was very emotionless and empty sounding. Anger boiled into his brain. Seriously they were fucking with him at a time like this?

"Are you kidding me? Im a funny guy, but nows not the time for jokes sole!" How could they be joking when they were in such pain!? he was scared and they were trying to prank him? Seriously? What was their problem? He looked a way for a second trying to gain composure of himself.

"John...." They grabbed his face on either side forcing him to make eye contact "I'm not joking...." the sincerity in their voice and eyes caught him off guard... christ they really weren't joking... but how? Nevermind that he could ask all the questions he wanted once they were okay.

"Listen sunshine you're still not exactly tellin me what's wrong here..." He can't believe he's actually buying this bullshit! if this turns out to be an elaborate prank he's gonna be so pissed

"I- I haven't fed in a while... like a long while... I'd been avoiding it- I don't like hurting people, and now I'm sick like really sick... and I'm not sure how long I've got... and I-" He kept waiting for them to say they were kidding or gave any indication that they were making this all up, but when no such sign ever came the dark reality of it began to settle in. They were sick. Dying even. His Sole. Hurt. But all they needed was blood right? He could give them that. He'd happily give them that

"So that's all you need? Blood? Well shit sunshine, you should've just said something" He said already rolling up his sleeve

"No!" They screamed pushing him backwards not enough to make him fall, but enough to make him loose his balance "I don't want to hurt you." They said their voice sounding small and defeated.

"I'll be alright sunshine, I've had plenty worse. Trust me" he said regaining his balance and opting to lean against the wall and sit beside them this time.

"You don't understand!!!" They said tears swelling in their eyes as their lips began to quiver

"Then help me to..."

"I could drain you Hancock! I could hurt you!" they wailed the tears that had been threatening to spill earlier finally cascading down their face. they turned away frantically trying to wipe their tears

"But you won't." he said resting his hand on their damp chin bringing their eyes to his again

"No I won't do it Hancock! I won't hurt you. I'd rather die than hurt you!" They said again pushing him away. The previous anger came back to Hancock rapidly, composure failing miserably. Like hell he was gonna sit here on his ass and watch them die! Fat chance. Not after diamond city. Not again, never again. He was thinking of someway to gently say that when they tried to get up and fell hard against the old wall. That's what set him over the edge

"Let me fucking help you sole! Let me make this better! I can't sit here and watch you die is that what you'd have me do huh?" Their head whipped around their features clearly displaying their shock. The shock only lasted for a second however because then their nostrils flared in anger.

"What do you want me to do!? Hurt you!? I'd rather fukcing die Hancock and if that makes you hate me at least that's something you get to live with!" Usually he loved their fire, hell it was what drew him to them in the first place, but right now, while it was directed at him all he could see was red.

"Don't you dare act like you're doing me a favor in hurtin' yourself! I told you what not being able to save the ghouls in diamond city did to me, and I didn't even know half of them! What do you think losing you is gonna do huh? Do you think I'll just be able to move on? I seriously thought you knew me better than that...." Hancock was seldom a screamer when he argues, but his words carried more than a little bite in them. He'd be shaking from head to toe with anger. He was so pissed that they were wasting time arguing when they could be fine in a matter of seconds. He doesn't get how they don't understand that they are way more important to him then he could ever be to himself! He'd had enough of this opting to take the quicker more painless route he took his knife out from around his waist and brought it to his wrist. Not like he enjoyed the pain, but for sole? He'd do anything to make sure they were okay.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Sole screeched in horror as the crimson fluid already began leaking from the wound. That's when he realized how fucked up the whole ordeal probably looked right now..Yeah it hurt, but he hadn't be thinking about the pain... kinda like how he wasn't gonna think about how messed up this was right now. He just can't think about that right now its already been done. On an impulse on a whim even....but again not thinking about that...Just like how he wasn't gonna think about how far away from any real doctors they were, or how if something went wrong he was essentially screwed. Nope all he could allow himself to think of was sole. They'd be okay. That's all that matters.

"Making sure you stay alive" he said shoving his wounded wrist into their face. At first they resisted fighting his arm away, but finally they gave in and he felt them bite down against his forearm. God that hurt. In that moment he knew that weren't joking about the whole vampire thing because God those fangs hurt....Yeah this wasn't the best idea he's ever had. He'll admit it... but hey love makes you do crazy things.....He began to feel dizzy.. his head felt way to fuzzy right now too and the already dark sky was going even blacker at the edges. He was fighting to stay conscious... fighting to stay with sole... to make sure they were alright. After what felt like an eternity he felt their fangs leave his skin and met their teary eyes.

"That's it sole.... I'm-...I'm Glad you finally came to your senses.... I'm not sure what I would've done if you hadn't...."

The last sentence was barely a whisper on his scared lips... as the lure of sleep washed over him. Truth be told he knew what he would've done with out them, that's what scared him. He makes a lot of jokes about going feral, or being a monster, but he fears what would've happened if he spiraled into that darkness. Although truth be told he only ever truly was a monster to himself, but cognitive thoughts and logic rarely make there way into the deep fears that inhabitant his inner psyche.

When he eventually did wake up he was in an entirely unfamiliar bed. His body protested as he tried to sit up so instead he flopped back down unceremoniously onto the lumpy mattress beneath him. He rubbed his eyes a few times desperately trying to take in his surroundings. If he was dead he definitely wasn't in any sort of heaven or paradise.... surprising absolutely no one, he knows. The smell of wet ghoul hit his nose. God there really is no smell quite as pungent. That's when he realized where he was, he recognized this lumpy mattress it was the one he had help sole drag in here a few weeks prior. He was at the Slog! it was then he caught a glimpse of Soles body sitting in a chair near his bed reading some book. So they were here. more importantly they were safe. Good.

"Hey there sunshine.... ya miss me?" he called out effectively startling them into dropping their book.

"John! I'm so glad your okay!" They rushed to his side and grabbed one of his hands.

"So you wanna tell me what the hell happened back there?" he said wasting no time to cut to the chace

"I-" they started avoiding eye contact and slouching in on themselves as they promptly released his hand bring it instead to the space on their nose right between their eyes and pinching gently theor brows furrowed "I really had been meaning to tell you John... I swear. It's just I... I didn't know how you would take it... and I.... I was scared you would hate me... and then it all just happened so fast, and god I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you John, but I understand if you think it's better if we go our separate ways" John's heart leaped out of his chest at the last words. Their expression was uncharacteristicly somber and that scared him. Were they really gonna leave him!? He didn't want them to! Especially not over some silly little mistake

"Separate ways!? Over a flesh wound? Don't flatter yourself sunshine I've had worse." They shook their head clearly exasperated with the topic. Tears of what John assumed to be frustration rolling down their cheeks

"John you're not understanding... I Hurt you. I could have killed you. I barely didn't.... I can't risk losing you. Not like that." Oh. That's what it is... they're also scared to lose him. Was it for the same reason he was, He wondered? Nows definitely not the time he corrected his stupid love drunk brain.

"People die every day out here... I shouldn't have to tell you that, and besides I knew you wouldn't hurt me... I told you that didn't I?" They met his gaze. Their hurt eyes continued streaming tears down their pretty face as they shook their head yet again. This time more assertively than before.

"John I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you being okay with this! I'm a monster! I have to hurt people just to survive. I-... I have nothing to offer you. You'd be better off acting like we never met." The finished turning their face away from his as they tried desperately to wipe their tears

"But we did Sole, and I wouldn't have any it other way. Everything I do is dangerous, hell I took a damn drug just because I couldn't stand looking at myself! You're not gonna hurt me sunshine okay? Not any worse then I've hirt myself... what about blood bags have you tried those?" He asked frantically trying to make some headway in this seemingly pointless argument...and to avoid the topic of his own self destructive behaviors because by god now was not the time for a lecture. He loved them, but sometimes they could be so stubborn it was like arguing with a brick wall

"Their expensive John... and rare.. I can't rely on something that I may or may not be able to scrounge out of an old medical cellar."

"That's what you got me for. I'll order a shipment for goodneighbor as soon as we get back. Listen you hauled my ass back here when you could've just dipped and left me there to rot. You did that because you're a good person sole."

"I really wish I could belive that... you should rest... we'll talk more later" they said picking up his hand again and holding it against their cheek.

"Then stick around... I'll just have to teach ya how great you really are sunshine" he said motioning to the other side of the bed. They slowly crawled in beside him and nuzzled their tear soaked eyes into the side of his arm. He instead decided to throw the arm around them and kiss the top of their forehead surprisingly innocently for himself with his scared lips. They stayed like that for a while just basking in eachothers presence until Hancock finally drifted off to sleep again with them in his arms. Things were hardly perfect, or even really fixed between them but it was a start and that's more than Hancock had ever dreamed of having.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout hancock #john hancock #hancock #fallout 4 hancock #fo4 hancock #fallout4 #fallout asks

[complete-nonsequitur]

I hate to bother you, BUT, I seen your post about reusable pads... So my partner has been wanting to do the reusable thing for a while but she's scared they're not going to be sufficient. She has particularly heavy flow for at least a day or two but often for her whole period. The pads she uses at night are the most absorbant on the planet and not infrequently they fail to get her through the night.

Are these pads going to be for her?

She has a pretty miserable time every month but we're both super into environmentally conscious conspicuous consumption, so she finds herself really torn on this.

I'm sorry if this was a rambling nonsensical mess. I have absolutely no idea what this is like. I just want her to be happy and comfortable and confident.

I hope your kindness and openness hasn't turned you into tumblrs Bureau les Règles!

Hey! I'm more than happy to answer any questions and try to help out!

So, the first few days of my period of miserable and filled with a lot of cramps and a lot of bleeding. However, since I've started using reusable pads (I get the ones from Cariona so I can only speak for that brand) I've had no issues with leaking or bleeding through during the night or during the day. I wear the overnight pads during the day as well because of how much I bleed, but they get the job done!

I have a few overnight ones that I use for the first few days of my period, and then a handful of the regular pads for the rest of the week that I'm not bleeding quite as much.

To put it in perspective, I work at a school all day and I coach at a boxing gym at night, so I'm constantly on the move and still don't have any issues with the pads being sufficient even on my heaviest flow days.

The product list for the site I get mine from is Here and they have a ton of size options. I swear by the overnight and the regular, and they have XL pads as well!

I'm 110% for the reusable pads. I'm never going back to single-use. It's a lot more comfortable and for me personally, it's way more effective than disposable pads as well.

Feel free to send in any other questions you have!

#ask #asks #reusable pads #cariona #cariona pads

[dreamonminecraft]

Bit of a ramble, sorry normally I'd write something like this into a fic but I don't think it'd get posted and if it did, it'd be a little too floaty, and I think this is a little important, so here:

I think while it's exciting to get amped up for the meetup and everything that comes with it, there's a lot of unrealistic expectations that have been building as the waiting takes longer and I want to make sure people aren't just shocked when things aren't picture perfect

Yes, a lot of the lack of content from the Dream Team stems from the fact that George was supposed to be in Florida (at the very latest) several months ago. They're not hiding that, it's not speculation to say that, Dream has said that George is depressed and lonely, he's said that he himself is incredibly anxious and doesn't go outside or have social interaction, George was just talking about being burnt out and trying to get something pushed out by the end of the week

We see it in dng arguing over editing videos that never come out regardless of who ends up with the assignment, Dream's promises of new videos, which used to be concrete, getting pushed back, Sapnap streaming infrequently, and any other activity from the three of them can be at any and all hours of the day

And yes, of course a lot of that comes from being separated and frustrated about the waiting, lonely and feeling like everything is just hanging in the balance, but it's also (mostly for dream and George) (and it could be more obvious for Sapnap than I'm seeing, he just doesn't seem quite as upset about the whole thing, especially post-uk trip) pretty severe mental illness symptoms, and if vlogs and content aren't constantly pumped out like dream and George seem to think they will be the minute he gets to Florida, don't be surprised.

I guess my point is that Dream and George are both pretty openly not doing very well right now, and I just think it would be best for everyone to keep an open mind to the idea that George getting to Florida isn't going to fix years of depression and anxiety, just like that.

It's almost like dating someone assuming that they can "fix" your depression or something. Yes, George being in Florida is going to help with his loneliness, but it's not going to make Twitter be nice to Dream.

Things will get better, undoubtedly, but the idea that content is the only thing that comes out of this is not a healthy mindset for us, or them, to fall into.

#sorry I'm just thinking thoughts #not discourse #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound

[inkykeiji]

clari clari clari !!!!

ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

okay so this is supposed to be an ask about bmb but i just feel that you should know how things have been going for me recently. my job has turned into a massive whirlwind of bullshit and my last day is this thursday bc i cannot take it anymore. a coworker of mine got fired, then my manager got fired and said coworker got rehired by corporate. then he (coworker) decided to not take his job seriously at all and has since been an indescribable ass. there’s more to do with work that’s been happening but generally is summed up in the word shit-show. also, this month held my uncle’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, my boyfriend’s birthday, my birthday, and me and my boyfriend’s anniversary all in the same week. everything kind of sucks right now.

so. to get to my point in telling you all of this: your blog is something i take solace in.

even when things here have nothing to do with me—just asks from other anons, or random posts you make, or seeing you interact with other blogs—getting the notification that you’ve posted something, anything, new is always accompanied with a wonderfully warm feeling. i’ve been so psyched for bmb ever since i read the first fucking part, and even during your semi-hiatus you were interacting with people and that alone makes my chest fuckin swell. you’re always so wonderful to everyone you interact with it almost makes me feel like crying. and i do mean that as a compliment.

i reread bmb 3 before i read 4. i desperately wanted to read it right when it was posted but i had work in the morning, and i had work tonight. still, i finished up at work with a smile even tho i got scheduled with someone i’ve never closed with before and who’s also 16 and just got back from being sick with possibly covid, and i was still buzzing with excitement to get home and read bmb 4. i made sure i was completely unwound, threw some laundry in the wash, got into comfy clothes, and tucked myself away in bed so i could thoroughly experience your writing. my cat even joined me.

rereading bmb 3 made me cry. 4 made me sob. the ache of seeing keigo so distraught and wracked with guilt, immediately followed by “i think i like hawks” had my chest so fucking tight i could feel it in my throat. your words always yank the tears out of me, especially when it comes to bmb. getting to lie in bed after a pretty shit week and just cry along with everyone in your stories is cathartic lemme tell ya. but i’ll wrap this up !

tl;dr: i haven’t been doin great and bmb (and your blog in general) is something i’ll never not seek comfort in. thank you so much for being who you are, and for sharing it with all of us.

- 🐝 <333

HELLO PRECIOUS BUMBLE <333

tw: bmb spoilers

oh my gosh, first of all, i'm so sorry to hear about your job situation!!! that sounds extremely hectic and overwhelming and STRESSFUL!!! AND THEN ALL OF THE EVENTS, IN THE SAME WEEK???? oh jesus i would be so burnt out!!! that's a lot to deal with sweetpea, i'm sorry :( you're pushing through, though, and i am so proud of you!!! <333 just know i am cheering you on from the sidelines!!

oh gosh bumblebee, this made me tear up!!!! thank you, truly, from the very core of my soul for such gorgeous sentiments. i am happy beyond words to hear that my blog can provide a safe space for you to come and unwind/find comfort in. i literally cannot begin to describe how special and how meaningful that is to me <333 i am so grateful for my blog, and for every single soul who stops by to say hello, no matter how frequent or infrequent. i said this a while ago, but i really do think of my blog as like, this cute cozy lil bed & breakfast cottage that always has people stopping by HAHAHA <3 that might sound silly, but it's true! i wish i could give you all home baked goodies n warm tea :((

AWWW hahaha i'm so happy kitty came to snuggle with you as you read!!! aaah sweet bumble 🥺🥺🥺 again, thank you so much for just stopping by to let me know your thoughts!!! i think it's a massive compliment when i'm told that my work can evoke such emotion in others!!! I TOLD U I CRIED WHILE WRITING IT!!! multiple times!!! bmb part 3 is more sad for me tho, personally </3 there are a few scenes in bmb part 3 that STILL make me cry, and i know them by heart!!! could probably recite 'em to you backwards!! hahaha so i absolutely, one million percent understand the cathartic element here, and i am just aaaaaah BEYOND grateful that my work was able to do that for you; to offer up this space for you to be vulnerable with the characters and unload your emotional stress, that's absolutely priceless to hear <333 my whole heart is so full right now <3

this message is so, so, so special to me and i shall cherish it forever!!! thank YOU for hanging out with me, for interacting with me and sending me such beautiful messages, and for supporting my work. i feel like i say this often but it doesn't change the fact that it's true: it means the entire universe to me. truly, it does. no words exist to encapsulate my extreme gratitude towards you, and everyone else who is here with us <333

i hope my work and my blog can continue to offer up a safe space for you (and me!) to be vulnerable and to find comfort in <33333

#bmb spoilers #I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE COVID BTW #THAT'S SCARY >.< #i'm not gonna go off too much in the tags because my response is soooo long hehehe #but just know that i love you so much #you're doing wonderful <3 keep on going!! i'm rooting for you always!! #please please try to enjoy your weekend babie <333 #and as always keep yourself safe and warm and hydrated!!! #sending lots of health + happiness ur way <3 #🐝.anon #clari gets mail

[8ball-wizard]

I posted 14,730 times in 2021

44 posts created (0%)

14686 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 333.8 posts.

I added 62 tags in 2021

#0 - 3 posts

#1 - 2 posts

#asks - 23 posts

#ghost posts - 10 posts

#yes - 5 posts

#unreality - 5 posts

#long post - 5 posts

#kinda - 4 posts

#p5r spoilers - 3 posts

#my mom died and it was still a better fucking year than 2020 - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but i think the visual on an ex evil empire grunthelping more people turn away from that evil empire would have been very cool and poignant

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Falter (Jeremy and Michael)

this one got angsty. i hope that, when i completely forget the prompt in the text, the spirit of the word is still there.

Jeremy and Michael are drifting apart. It was always a possibility, obviously; not everyone stays this close with their childhood best friend for this long. That doesn't make it sting any less.

It starts when they don't go to the same college. Jeremy lost a few months of high school to the Squip, after all, so he decides to try community college instead, just in case he fails and 'ruins everything again,' in his words. He's doing that a lot, assuming he's naturally a destructive force even when he tries not to be. Michael sort of wants to take him by the shoulders and shake him about it, but he just tries to gently encourage Jeremy to look on the bright side.

Michael ends up going to Colorado College, which came from a combination of wanting to get the fuck out of New Jersey, go somewhere completely different, and end up with a film degree. His goal is to make his own documentaries, and this is the first step. Jeremy's pretty cagey about what exactly he's studying, but he's got some kind of determination to get through it, which has to be a good sign.

They swear to call each other once a week,and, for the first few months, they hold to it. Jeremy updates him about how everyone else is doing and complains about his math course. Michael tells him all about Colorado Springs, and the dumpling shop across the street from his apartment that he's working at.

Then, the calls slowly stop coming from Jeremy. They go from weekly, to every other week, to once a month. Every time, Jeremy claims he's really busy, and that he's super sorry.

Michael does the one thing he swore he'd never do, and logs onto Facebook for the first time since he was 14.

Jeremy's posts are infrequent, but informative. He's got a group of friends, whose photos he gets tagged in regularly, and a girlfriend. Aimee. She's pretty. 

He didn't say anything about them. It kind of hurts. He wishes-

He doesn't know what he wishes. He doesn't really think Jeremy owes him something, but it feels like he's being pushed away. 

He doesn't know what to do about that. He stops calling. He stops getting calls.

8 notes • Posted 2021-04-16 18:36:45 GMT

#4

i'm really interested in getting into photography, partly to spite someone who's no longer in my life, but mostly because it's one of the very few things i feel like i could really be good at, if i put in the effort.

9 notes • Posted 2021-03-23 15:32:46 GMT

#3

Trust - whatever media you feel like writing for (ideally one I know)

more carrie in that nobody died au! the last one i wrote gave me some inspiration for a longer fic, so i wanna practice a little characterization.

Carrie technically has friends now. Sort of, at least. Sue and Frieda wave to her in the hall with smiles that seem genuine, and Tommy is more quick to defend her from the boys than he used to be. It's strange, and she doesn't know how to feel about it.

She knows what Momma would think, which is exactly why she hasn't said anything at home about it.  She and her mother are still in a firm gridlock, hardly talking at all and not very happy with one another. It feels like torture. 

Carrie's not sure why she tells Sue about it, but she does. Sue has a complex look on her face, frustrated and concerned and… sad, maybe. And then she apologizes and offers her a hug, which completely throws Carrie through a loop. She's only been hugged by two people, and one was Tommy at prom, so she doesn't know if it even counts. She very hesitantly accepts.

Sue gives nice hugs, warm and safe feeling, not tight and cloying like Momma's. She smells like some sort of fruit shampoo and maybe a little like flowers, and she rubs Carrie's back in a way that makes her feel just a little less disgusting, even if it reminds her of just how sweaty she is.

When Sue lets go, she makes Carrie promise to at least try to call if Momma tries to hurt her. She looks scared, and her hands are firm on her shoulders as she nods softly. She's still not sure if she can fully trust Sue, but having someone to talk to is nice.

11 notes • Posted 2021-04-16 18:55:48 GMT

#2

i was hardly-a-ghost jsyk

14 notes • Posted 2021-10-16 23:52:29 GMT

#1

Tea - character of choice from Carrie (book or musical... or movie, I guess, though I haven’t seen it)

okay so this is a very vague Nothing Happened at Prom and Carrie stopped her mom from killing her au. this is also the first time i've ever written anything for Carrie, surprisingly, so i hope it's alright.

Carrie thought a lot about killing her mother. She'd never admit to it, not even to God, but she thought about it daily.

In the weeks after prom, momma had only grown colder, more cruel. Dinner time was silent, and she spent nearly every day in her closet, locked away to beg for forgiveness. Momma was scared of her, and it made Carrie question nearly every part of her life to that point. She had tasted freedom and joy, and now her mother's Wrathful Savior felt… weaker. She still had nightmares of Jesus chasing her down halls, asking her to take up the cross, but they didn't make her sweat anymore. 

She stirs her mother's tea, one hand fidgeting with her hair as she flips to the next page in her bible. The book of Matthew, one of her favorites. The more she reads, the less she recognizes Mama's teachings. Jesus was angry, yes, but he was not cruel. She feels connected to his generosity and love for his fellow man. 

"Carrie? Is the tea ready?" Her momma calls from the living room. Her voice is firm, not as loving as it had been a mere three weeks ago.

"Yes, momma. I'll be out soon."

Jesus would not be proud of her for imagining her own mother, choking on some vague poison in her tea that, in reality, she would never be brave enough to add. Then again, Jesus wasn't cursed, but blessed. Jesus knew his parents loved him, knew that God loved him.

Carrie didn't have that same reassurance.

22 notes • Posted 2021-04-13 03:45:05 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[exobtsimagination]

Feel free to ignore this, I'm just not sure who to even talk to lol. I started a kpop fic blog about a year ago and it was so much fun at first, but now that I'm getting more followers it's just. Not anymore. I keep getting messages from people demanding updates, and when I do update they complain that I didn't update some other series (lol I made the horrible mistake of starting multiple things at once) (⅕)

There’s one fic in particular that takes me a while to write each update, and I get really nasty messages regarding how infrequently I post chapters. I know I set myself up for this, in a way. I didn’t write ahead enough to post often, but I wasn’t expecting so many people to read it, let alone for them to think I owe them updates. (⅖) 

It’s just so discouraging when I post a new chapter and the first response I get is telling me I should’ve updated something else, that this fic isn’t what they followed me for. I know that I could just delete those messages and pretend they’re not there, and maybe that’s what I should do, but honestly at this point whenever I see them I want to delete the whole blog. (⅗)

I should mention that I get really kind and sweet messages as well, and most of my followers are great. So I guess my question is; do you have any advice for dealing with this sort of thing? Most of the people I’ve talked to about this have told me to delete the blog and be done with it, but I feel like there must be some other option. Or maybe there isn’t, I don’t know. (⅘)

I’m sorry for ranting to you guys, you’re such an inspiration to me both regarding writing and in the way you run the blog. I hope you’re all doing well and taking care of yourselves!

First of all you all need to stop apologising whenever you message us something like this! I know we’ve been so shit about running this blog but this blog, and all of you, mean so much to us admins and it really touches our hearts when you share this kind of stuff with us!

Now, I’m going to be the one apologising. Firstly, for this message being sat in our inbox for god knows how long and secondly for not being able to offer you any real advice...

Little known fact, before my time on this blog I wrote on a seperate blog and an AFF account. I would always get the inspiration for new series and write when and if I had the inspiration to do so. The problem with this is that I would have like 8 updates in a week and it’s unlikely any would be a series that my readers actually cared about. I received plenty of messages criticising this and my eventually I cracked and tried to give in to what those messages said. I would force myself to update each series regularly and not just when I felt like it and the series suffered greatly for it. (seriously if you go read some of my old stuff [and to a degree my stuff on the blog] it would start off strong and then just drop off because I would give in to what other people wanted). 

I wrote a series that actually got some attention and was spread around some req blogs. I had some much feedback and the final chapter got so fucking delayed because I got so worried about where the readers wanted the story to go instead of writing a good story that I would want to read.

The most important advice and the only advice I can kinda give you is to not do what I did. Respect your readers, appreciate them, but don’t pander to them. Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do or you aren’t inspired by because someone else says so. Follow your passion and ENJOY writing ENJOY what you’re doing because in the end that’s all you really ever have.

I hope this didn’t come too late and you didn’t delete your blog because if writing makes you happy fuck what some anon on the internet says about your upload schedule, you’ll upload when you do and they’ll enjoy it or just stop reading either way, make sure you’re happy first

- Admin Kain

[sunshinestudysstuff]

16.05.2020 | Studyblr Quarantine Challange Month 2 Week 8

I can't believe that tomorrow will be exactly 2 months since I was last at school! Also sorry for being kinda infrequent with posting, it just works a bit better for me to do a few days at a time and I've been trying really hard to not get distracted from work (its seeming to be impossible!).

Thursday

🎆would you rather have free wifi everywhere or free coffee always available?🎆

Idk. Maybe the coffee? I drink coffee and tea a fair bit but rarely buy it when I'm out and I don't often need wifi when I'm out and about especially since I have 4GB of data though I rarely use more that 1GB, if that so I guess the coffee would be better and be handy since I get thirsty a lot.

Friday

🎆would you rather speak all languages or be able to speak with animals?🎆

Languages, as much as I love animals I don't think they'd have much to talk about. Also it's so nice to be able to speak to someone in their mother tongue rather than just a language you both understand.

Satuday

🎆would you rather get away with lying every time or always know when someone is lying?🎆

Tricky one. I dont tend to lie much other than little white lies that are easy to get away with or just embellishing the truth a bit. However the 2nd one would be bad in the sense that people say things like "you look lovely" a lot when you just kinda look average etc First option I guess. Xx

#studyblr #quarantine challenge #quarantine studyblr

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hi Lizzy, I'm new to the SPN fandom and saw a bunch of bibros making fun of meta writers. As a lowkey Destiel shipper it still pissed me off. I'm wondering- who are your fav meta writers to read?

Pfft, it’s practically a badge of honour that THEY are pissed off by the meta. Interpretation worries them because as soon as you get into the what they’d see as hippie dippy “all readings are valid uwu” part of literary theory, you’ve made an attempt to level the playing field with them and they don’t wanna be on it with us, they want to have the one sacred and true reading of the show to which all roads lead etc etc. Actually buying into the idea you can interpret the show and come up with multiple readings or that the text would DARE support another version (even the interpretation that Sam and Dean aren’t soulmates or something ship-free that gets in the way indirectly - or an argument they are soulmates but that’s basically just the show’s way of conveying Heaven is somehow worse than Hell for them :P) immediately is a threat to the idea of a cast iron version of the show that’s the one they latched onto. 

Strange world where “reading into things” is an insult instead of a sign of healthy curiosity and a desire to learn and understand. And I see people who literally mind their own corner or would agree in spirit with their interpretation as long as you CALL it that and leave others be to have a different one, get dogpiled by them for daring to treat the show as a flexible and multi-layered, analyse-able thing…

Ah well. 

Kinda missing out on the yearly punch up in the parking lot round the back of the fandom right now, tbh, since I’ve been AWOL with hanging around with family and friends stuff. Kinda not missing it. :P Welcome to the fandom, it can get pretty messy, and some of us here just wanna watch the show and ask silly questions to everyone about how many burgers Dean’s eaten on screen recently or whatever important character analysis nonsense is bothering us today.

To which end! :D 

No matter how long you have followed me, even if it’s like a day or 2, you must have noticed my queue endlessly spitting out @mittensmorgul‘s full-show rewatch along with the TNT loop, all out of order and a week late because that’s how I roll. Mittens is a great meta writer to read because everything she writes is fun and the kind of hectic idea hopping my brain glues with..

Everything @awed-frog writes is similarly enjoyable to read in that style but longer and more poetic and dark, and very insightful. (You might be able to tell I’m mentioning the meta writers I reblogged stuff from today while waiting for my long term memory to contribute anything)… Linking their ask tag for starters because idk how to find other long meta at short notice :P

Actually while I’m thinking about rewatches, I’ve always enjoyed @dustydreamsanddirtyscars‘s dramatic, purple prose essay approach to meta and flawless blog presentation… Sadly Jenny’s not enjoying season 12 very much with the change in style from the weird dark symbolism of Carver era, to the sort of fractals upon fractals of weird little emotional references and do-overs this year when Dabb gets to do his thing on a whole season, but if you want Carver era weird dark symbolism, I’ve been really enjoying where she has been lurking in Carver era, meta-ing her way through it. 

(I just generally dig reading re-watches, especially because all that hindsight is paying off so much now because for Dabb era if we’re going to meta it we NEED hindsight and reminders and the TNT loop playing in the background showing us just how layered and self-referential the show has become (and what it’s doing differently, and how much the characters have grown and changed, which, I think, is the point now) - anyway if you’re doing a rewatch, I LOVE to read posts about old episodes, especially the weird old MotW and really early seasons stuff no one seems to talk about much any more)

There’s a LOT of great meta writers out there and after every episode I try to find and reblog the long reaction notes, if they’re done it, from @dorkilysoulless @grey2510 @kayanem @bluestar86 (and awed frog again). @charlie-minion has been busy this season with other stuff as far as I know with a few more infrequent visits, but I know she has a page with every meta she wrote on it and generally wrote a great post per episode for a good chunk of the time I was in fandom, and still drops by fairly regularly despite a smaller presence. @thevioletcaptain also is great and has an episode reaction for most episodes (though again has been busy with IRL stuff for a few weeks/months/I have no concept of time but she hasn’t posted anything for the recent episodes as far as I’ve seen >.>) and also a page with her meta on it that when I was brand new to the fandom I had permanently open in another tab to cross-reference while I re-watched the show :P

(A lot of my favourite meta writers I imprinted on like a duckling when I was new and remember them really well but of course I love all the new people around here but my actual useful visual memories are all the fandom circa season 9 and not all around any more much, because my brain has been stewing in migraines and fatigue since, like, the middle of season 10, and my new approach is to wearily trudge through my dash barely checking who wrote what unless I have to deal with minuscule fonts on a read more, so I’m afraid my memory of active bloggers is totally rubbish and it’s best just to look at my awesome meta tag and see who I’ve been reblogging a lot lately and some really grevious oversights in people I will smack my head for not mentioning if you bring it up, but your question was phrased in such a way I went straight for who do I ENJOY reading not quick gimme a useful list with no explanation thing :P So uh, sorry if this is 100x longer than you expected :D)

#Asks #I'm really sorry newbies to the fandom have to see all the ugly stuff >.> #I really hope the impression from everyone else regardless of what we ship or do has been better than that