#someone fucking validate me or tell me im wrong

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I'm very excited for more content of your lights out au, I'm so eager to see just how good you can get at writing/creating angst!

oh babey. thats where i Shine.

#i have gotten many a fic comment where people curse me out and/or say that they cried #sometimes i get someone saying i made them sob #its a compliment every time and i strive for it! #i dont fuck around with my fics i Do Not Hold Back and that is a Warning #this is the only aspect of my creations that im confident in #and hopefully soon you'll all See! you will see. #just a little taste its nothing too intense really. #id label it more hurt/comfort than straight up angst #but yeah if people arent crying im doing it wrong #i rarely do it wrong. #JESTING JESTING im not That good. now im just exaggerating for a Humorous Touch #rambles from the bog #i might. miiiiiight. might might might maybe mayhaps might #write a certain scene from lights out that everyone already knows will happen #so... might as well dust off my hurt / no comfort skills #could be fun. i want to hurt people again #in a good safe 'you Chose to read this' way #theres a certain feeling that comes with being someone who enjoys writing angst #the happiness i get from people telling me my writing hurt them. Yes <3 #so so validating. so fulfilling. #just read through some old fic comments on my better works and mmmmm talk about an ego boost....

[consultingzoologist]

heads up, seven up!

"Rules for those who want to participate: post 7 lines from a wip of yours and tag some other people!!!!" Thanks @sedum-lineare! I have many many Thoughts on ecology and fungi and humanity which I’m hoping will be a fic soon. Ish.

She reads about the fungi that live with humans.

The microbiome in her gut and on her skin that keeps her healthy.

The penicillium that saved Joel's life.

The microbiome which mimics that of the people you live with, and how mothers (parents, she corrects in her head) pass on some beneficial fungi and bacteria to their children during birth.

If only she could convince her Cordyceps to share and mix with Joel's microbiome in the same way, tell it he is family and a friend, and if she thinks of him as such Cordyceps should too, and protect him too.

It's a gentle fantasy, one she's angry to still think about, when she learns the truth.

Angry at Joel for taking the choice away and not treating her like an adult, angry that the doctors were going to separate her and him and the fungus from each other so violently, so completely.

@rustandruin @drumlincountry @doodleborg no pressure just if you have some writing Thots to share!

#*me waving my hand above my head like the eric andre meme* what if fungus but like Venom (2018) #the scene in Venom where Venom and Eddie are separated and everyone is having a bad time but it's me after some antibiotics #anyway can you tell i read i contain multitudes and had feelings about it #catch me getting punched in the tlou universe because someone would go fuck fungi we should kill all fungi all my homies hate fungi #and i would be there like well actually- #having a fungal infection and wanting to bite people about it is a very valid feeling actually im with the cordyceps on this one #tlou #my writing #tag games #sedum-lineare #also did you know the real ophiocordyceps doesn't target the brain of the insects it infects at all just their muscles #so potentially they know what's going on or are at least aware that something is very wrong #and other ants in the colony will take infected ones away to try and save the rest of the colony #isn't that a fun thought #throwback to that time i tried to convince piratearrowxab it would be a good idea to buy some cordyceps as a house fungi because there are #lots of varieties of the none zombie-fying kind but i was vetoed

[rigaudon]

I am holding myself together by a fucking thread and I just want it to break so i can get a break.

#i want to not be the fall guy for literally everything. i want some fucking nuance and to not be blamed for other people's actions #as well as my own. it's fucked up that im being told that it's both my fault for how i treated other people (valid and true) #and also being told that it's my fault for letting other people treat me the way they did and that i'm responsible for their actions too #just. so. tired. #just so tired. so. so. tired. #and people will see this and get mad at me and then that's my responsibility too #i want my animals to be okay #i want to be able to make rent and not owe my friends and family money #i dont know where im going to live in two months #i just want someone to care about me for me and not for what they think i should be #as if i am wrong or broken the way i am #why is forgiveness and understanding afforded to other people #while all i get is blame. always blame. it's my fault. i should have known better. the way i think or feel is narcissistic and fucked up. #over and over and over. #i dont want to leave my bunnies #my therapist does a lot of testing for autism and suggested i get tested myself #which i balked at initially because. idk. i don't... really like putting myself in boxes #but i brought it up with her this week and she gave me a referral to some places. #i dunno. maybe i'm desperately looking for something that people will actually take seriously #rather than telling me having adhd isn't an excuse for me to not be able to converse like a normal perspn #and that i can't have accommodations because 'that's how life is and it's not fair to everyone else to make exceptions for me' #the things i do for people i care about go unnoticed or get taken for granted #and i spend my whole life living to make other people happy/comfortable and compromise myself for it #and then when i advocate for myself i am being selfish and 'not everything is about you'. and just a complete rewriting of the things i do #i'm so tired. i'm lonely. i don't feel like im allowed to try and make new friends or reconnect with old ones #i should be posting this on my sideblog #fucking overwhelmed. the world is hopeless and im just going through the motions and keeping it all in because my feelings are inconvenient

[altmoon]

rant

#what do you say to someone suddenly reappearing from your past to tell you tht u should be dead with your feelings too #that i left them and it was wrong of me and i meant a lot to them #and when i tell them i hit a rough patch with mental health they say its a made up story #that i am weird that i need a doctor that i dont deserve ppl in my life #they also say that they cant let go of me bec they don't know the reason & what i say is not valid and then just told me to leave? #i mean i was so kind throughout bec i felt like i owed them bec at some point they did respect me a lot but i mean.. fuck you? #didn't sleep all night. wrote in my silly lil diary and now i sit here waiting to give the test #fr fr i mean everyone says im the problem literally everyone #but i can never understand them yet im patient. always #altmoon

[enderagenda]

just found out a friend of mine I've been sending messages to, coz I wanna attempt to keep contact, is venting about me "spamming" them. I've sent them 4 messages in 2 weeks, 2 of them were related to what we talked about at a party that we both went to a few days prior, and the other 2 were just memes that made me think of them. they've never told me it was too much, we used to message a lot more than that in the past.

so if you're gonna vent to a mutual friend about me just trying to be friendly and claiming I'm "spamming" you (again, 4 separate messages in 2 weeks is not spamming), then I'm gonna stop being friendly. sorry bud. if you're framing it as a problem I'M doing, rather than the fact that you've FAILED TO SET A BOUNDARY WITH ME, I'm calling it. we're done. you're not even in recovery, I'm fighting extremely hard to recover, I can't get dragged down by behaviour like this. I'm sorry.

#vent #it is extremely valid being overwhelmed by messages #im not mad at that #im mad that they didnt set a boundary with me and are complaining to other ppl about it as if im doing something wrong #i sent you FOUR messages. TWO of them were just memes that didnt warrent a conversation #i cant tell if this is petty and i should just let it go and see how things progress if they ever decide to open my messages #but ive also had other peolle get furious with me over something similar and i felt so betrayed #you cannot fucking blame me for breaching a boundary you NEVER set with me #maybe i was never meant to find out. maybe they were just having a bad time when they said it and they dont stand by it anymore. maybe. idk. #all i know is that once again someone is upset at me for a boundary they never set

[calamitoustide]

im listening to champagne problems and like whenever i've seen people talk about it with jeg they've said it's reg who turns down james' proposal but now im thinking about it being james

because reg well he makes sense and even james can rationalize it. reg got cold feet and he's not the best at commitment. he just freaked himself out and he'll come around he'll go and say yes, but james? that's a whole other thing

if james proposes to reg it would be in private because he knows that about reg and he knows reg would want to be able to answer with just the two of them so he wouldn't be forced to make it into a big deal if he did say no, but reg well reg would think james would want to do it in front of everyone he loves right? james loves big gestures he would want sirius, remus, peter, his parents, hell everyone. he'd want them all there so reg would invite them. he'd invite them all for this big surprise he's throwing him. sirius would bring dom perignon and effie would give her ring for regulus to use. it would be all set it would perfect and they'd all be standing there when regulus got down on one knee

and then he goes down and he has this whole speech prepared and james. says. no.

and no one knows what to do because if it were reg sirius would run after him and he'd know what to say but no one knows what to say when it's james. and he couldn't even give a reason he can't give anything. everyone goes and asks him and he doesn't know why he said no. he can't say yes. it goes even further if it's a james who's had mental health issues, "this dorm was once a madhouse," and he said, "well it's made for me." everyone from hogwarts looked at him and laughed saying, "he's fucked in the head." and no one else knows what to say.

and he doesn't even think his problems are valid he doesn't think his issues need to be talked about so he doesn't talk about them. he allows them to just be "champagne problems," and he tells reg to go find someone else who will love and adore him and be the right person for him because that can't be james. not when he doesn't know what's wrong him.

and they're friend group had gotten merged over the years. everyone was friends with everyone and now it's james fault that it's all messed up he'd try to take himself out of the situation but it wouldn't work they'd be divided again which just makes it worse for him

no one knows what to say and james doesn't know what to do so it's just awful and tragic there's no other way to put it really

#sorry :/ #got off on a tangent there #haven't listened to champagne problems in a while #i don't know what just happened to me #jegulus

[hadesisonlyalad]

yk i dont post a lot on tumblr but we all saw that red flags post so im gonna take a moment of ur time to say something on each merc and the red flags listed for them. im doing a read more incase u havent seen the “mercs red flags” headcanon post and it does not flood ur page

both the medic and engie things with “not wanting to spend time with you/wont make time for you” is SUCH bullshit if that was the case they wouldnt even date you. and then ur telling me engie tf2, DELL CONAGHER, would NEVER want to take you on a date? like ever??? u are INSANE. And then sorry to tackle medic and engie in the same paragraph but they had a lot of common “””””red flags””””” that were listed. why would he yell at you. he hardly even yells in general (based off comics and voice lines) if anything hes just kinda a loud person 💀 AND YOU BRINGING UP ONE THING WONT MAKE HIM SUDDENLY IGNORE YOU FOR DAYS LIKE?? he KNOWS hes committing medical malpractice btw. he would not leave you for bringing that up he is WELL AWARE of what hes doing. and we see him CANONICALLY DISCIPLINE ARCHIMEDES IN MEET THE MEDIC, WHY WOULD HE TOLERATE HIS BIRDS ATTACKING YOU????

also why are we listing an addiction as a “red flag” what the fuck is wrong with you. i get not wanting to date someone with an addiction, its a valid concern, but thats SO much more serious than a “red flag” or “ick”??? LIKE ARE YOU OKAYYYY???????

AND THEN HEAVY’S RED FLAG IS “he has trauma” FUCKING. PACK IT UP GUYS IG IF YOU HAVE TRAUMA YOU CAN NEVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. (/s) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

i’m fine with the miss pauling ones, at least two of them, because yeah, it’s canon that she doesn’t have the most time and i imagine if ur not a merc or work in that area a relationship might be a bit hard? but shes an honest person, i don’t think she’s gonna lie to you. idk im very neutral about the pauling ones, if anything theyre the most in character of this shithole list.

all i have to say for pyro is like. yk those people who hc pyro as aroace except theyre super weird about it? like theyre either infantilizing them or have weird ableist feelings about pyro? yeah thats the vibes im getting. actually wait where did u pull codependent pyro from actually wtf

i think the “tryna live like hes 20” thing for spy is really fucking funny 💀 like go girl go live through that middle age crisis!!/j no but seriously. hes dating you hes gonna think you’re a 10, and even then YOU’RE SAYING IF YOU AGE AT ALL HE’LL LEAVE YOU??? CANON MILF LOVER SPY. “OFF TO VISIT YOUR MOTHER!” SPY TF2. WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU GET OLD AND AGE AT ALL…? HE LIKES HIS WOMEN LIKE HE LIKES HIS WINE MOTHERFUCKER: AGED. sorry bad joke lets keep going uh- i think the other hcs are garbage too i just really hate specifically this spy hc. just this one specifically.

im not a sniper connoisseur, my friend will is way better versed in sniper’s characterization, but even i know this isnt sniper. “thinks if he argues long enough he’ll win”…? “cannot support you in anything”?!!?! “IF YOU’RE HIS FRIEND AND YOU TWO GET INTO A BAD ARGUMENT PREPARE TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN” IM GENUINELY AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. I JUST. I DONT..? WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. I DONT K N O W WHAT TO SAY. BUT IF I DID KNOW WHAT TO SAY I’D BE SAYING VERY BAD THINGS.

i dont think scout is misogynistic- i see why people think that but me personally i just think he has no game and people mistake it as violent misogyny for some reason. but. listen we know scout is a dick we do okay but he loves women. why would he cheat on you.? bro he’d be glad u picked him 😭 AND THEN THE PERIOD THING?? he was raised by a SINGLE MOM do you REALLY think shes gonna raise him and let him think that way about a natural body function. im speaking entirely from the single mom experience and the answer is NO!!!! also how is loving your mother a red flag. being the youngest child is also a red flag, i guess. and having issues with his dad. (/s) also, second verse same as the first: IF HES DATING YOU HE THINKS YOU’RE A 10 WHAT IS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET ABOUT THISHXWHBVWBWBXvqvsbs?1?2!2’wndjwke

uhhh soldier wasnt. here for some reason. so nothing to say about him.

anyway leave ur opinions below. i rly dont wanna get into any tumblr drama or internet drama at all bc it scares me dearly and im always self conscious about leaving a bad digital footprint especially over something as petty as tf2 drama but i cannot stand for this slander I CANNOT‼️‼️‼️‼️ sorry if u also think im mischaracterizing anyone here i only put hours of studying into my fav mercs and thats. abt it,, listen im silly okay

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #heavy tf2 #engineer tf2 #scout tf2 #spy tf2 #soldier tf2 #pyro tf2 #demo tf2 #tf2 demoman #ms pauling #sniper tf2 #medic tf2 #guys im going insane #i hate this fucking red flags post im so sorry i had to let it be known #reblog or comment ur opinions ig im also curious

[iliveinarainbow]

people being mad at aemond for calling alicent a fool or at aegon for yelling at her confuse me

just as a reminder: alicent raised her children in fear of rhaenyra, she told them that rhaenyra would kill them at the drop of a hat just to sit on a chair, all this whilst rhaenyra still lived in their home and viserys was getting sicker and sicker.

alicent made her kids live in constant fear for their lives knowing that there was a chance their dad would die in the middle of the night and they would be woken up by someone coming to get them cus rhaenyra took the throne and now they had to die.

this fear is what lead aegon to take a throne he did not want which then started a war, said war lead aemond to stormsend where he killed luke, which then lead to jaehaerys’ death.

there is a leaked video from the set of s2 where during jaehaerys’ funeral someone is telling the crowd that this is the work of rhaenyra the cruel. so they’re either fully going to pin b&c on rhaenyra instead of daemon, or they might just assume it was her.

so im sorry but if after all that alicent is still pleading for aegon to have mercy on rhaenyra, and apparently giving aemond reason to believe she still holds any love for her (the person who called for him to be “sharply questioned” whilst he was missing half his face, and who he was raised to believe would kill him to sit on a bunch of melted swords), then yes, im sorry but he has valid reason to call her a fool.

like just think about the emotional whiplash they’re experiencing.

they went along with the whole usurpation thing bc she made them fear for their lives, only to then have to hear her beg for mercy for the person she raised them to be terrified of.

ryan condal wants rhaenicent to be canon so bad that he is willing to make both alicent and rhaenyra plain stupid.

alicent begging for rhaenyra’s life during the green council even after two whole decades of treating her like shit and genuinely believing her capable of murdering her kids, which according to sara hess was all forgotten about thanks to one decent moment over dinner (ridiculous).

and rhaenyra crying on that fucking bridge bc of a page from 20 years ago (which was a clear manipulation tactic on alicent/otto’s part and you can argue with the fucking wall about that), clinging to a friendship that died 20 YEARS AGO and ignoring everything that alicent did to her and her kids in the meantime all bc of a page?

idc wether you like rhaenicent or not, i personally did not have an issue with it AT THE START, bc i thought it could make their dynamic interesting and it did for a while.

but if they keep sticking to trying desperately to ride this dead horse and refusing to give either of them some growth i’m going to lose faith in this show.

the writers are so stuck on this narrative that bc alicent did not have any control over her own life, that automatically means that she can not even try to learn how to properly wield the power she has, we saw her do it like twice to spite rhaenyra and that’s it.

this is a woman who has every reason to be angry and to want to use this power she has, if she really did believe rhaenyra would kill her kids that would’ve been an opportunity for the show to give us some growth within her character with her truly understanding the power she holds and wielding it to protect her kids, which in my opinion is just about the most noble of causes.

but no.

no growth for alicent, she was a victim with no autonomy at the start and this is the cage they will force her in until the end.

i hope i’m wrong but who knows.

btw im sorry but i’ve seen some posts saying that if either alicent or rhaenyra abandon their family for the other then it will be fine bc “they’re finally doing something for themselves and not the men in their lives”… girl…

they both have reason to believe that the other’s actions caused the death of their kids (or grandkid in alicent’s case), i do not care that they were pals. there is no version of this universe where it would make any actual sense for either of them to just “forget” everything that has happened just to have a fairytale ending to a friendship that has been dead for decades.

but whatever ig

i miss you book alicent and i hope you know that

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd season 2 #hotd s2 #alicent hightower #queen alicent #hotd alicent #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd rhaenyra #queen rhaenyra #hotd aegon #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #prince aemond #not an aegon or aemond stan just making that clear #book alicent for the win #not tg i just worship biblically accurate alicent hightower

[venusvxen]

Trusting In Your Inner Change

One thing that rlly used to fuck me up when I would attempt to shift states is seeing the “opposite” even after I changed my internal dialogue.

I would be so upset because I mean it when I say I rlly would not ruminate on a circumstance. It would be times when i would really forget about 100% and not think about it. I would not be in my head thinking about how i’m gonna manifest it away or anything like that yet it would still be there in my 3D and sometimes worse…

Then to make matters worse I would go on twitter and see threads about “if you’re still seeing the opposite it’s because you’re identifying with it somehow” and be so confused and feel like shit because yeah there’s truth to that but also.. bro… i’m so serious when I say that I really would not be thinking or dwelling on these circumstances at all… like at all… it would just make me feel like shit.

I would pick my mind apart trying to find what went wrong and why that shit is still there and would feel discouraged because it’s like “okay…. i don’t think about it like that during the day at all.. so even if i do do all this what’s to say that it’ll go away completely”…

Then after a while I just decided to start being stubborn about my inner change. Meaning that even if it looks like nothing is working and everything is spiraling out of control and problems are only getting worse, I still remain faithful to my new assumptions and don’t spiral everytime I see something “bad” and assume that that means i’m not doing it right.

Seeing the opposite would rlly trip me up and make me believe all my progress is for naught because i’m doing something wrong and I must not be on the right path if the opposite is STILL persisting in my 3D… like right now as I write this post actually…

But… I decided to tell myself that as soon as I shift states the 3D instantly conforms. It may not be in the way i expect, but judging after appearances is controlling the How.

Sure things may look bad,, and sure I may get really anxious looking at some things and feel like they’re never gonna change.. but telling myself that everything is going according to plan makes me feel way better and less anxious and helps me stay on the right path as opposed to the constant starting over when I would feel like im doing something wrong when i would see “the opposite”.

Maybe this “bad” thing is simply apart of the bridge of incidents to take me to my desire which I assume is the case anyway since the world has to match my assumption of self.

I know my assumption of self inside is lovely as illustrated by the euphoric feeling i feel everytime i re enter the state and fulfill myself ((for fun)) so i choose to let that be my validation and basis of progress as opposed to what the 3d shows me.

I know better than anyone how frustrating it feels to really be doing the work but the 3D shows you the opposite and i know better than anyone how isolating and infuriating it is when everyone just assumes it’s because you’re still ruminating on the old story inside and haven’t shifted states when sometimes you really have forgot about it all along and don’t think about it as much.

Be stubborn about your change. Put your foot down. say NO, I HAVE CHANGED. If your name is X but someone calls you Z, you’re not gonna ransack your brain and wonder why they’re calling you that and gaslight yourself into believing that they’re calling you that because you identified with that name somewhere along the lines.

Maybe, instead of the circumstance showing up because you identified with it, it’s popping up because it’s a part of the bridge of incidents.

Trust in that as opposed to undermining all your growth and inner work. Don’t let your very real inner change be undermined and questioned just because of what the 3D says. Trust in self not the mirror. Don’t let the mirror tell you you’re something you say you’re not.

You know who you are inside. Trust everything is working out exactly as it should even if it’s painful at times. Trust everyone is playing their roles exactly as they should.

In any case that’s all I have to share today. I shared this because I just saw something rlly annoying in the 3D. Hope this helps 🫡

#law of assumption #loa #law of attraction #manifestation #master manifestor #manifesting #shifting #neville goddard #4d reality #3d reality

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, i wanted to rant in here for a little bit. so far, i have loved your dybmn series and this makes me think that the way you write your characters complexities is so good. i’m a little afraid of sharing this as everyone here seems to love dybmn spencer.

because god, spencer is so unfair and insufferable. reader is insecure but not as unbelievable unbearable as spencer, i understand if i might be misinterpreting this but it was easy to deduce he would be the one projecting his own insecurities on reader.

it annoys me how he won’t give her the opportunity to truly enjoy her body as she wants to sexually engage with him. he claims he wants her and cares for her pleasure but sometimes it doesn’t really look like it, it feels like some sort of manipulative traumatic tactic to actually hold her hostage even though he says he’s not.

it’s contradictory. just because everything went wrong with elle, which is WEIRD considering his whore phase doesn’t gives him the right to expect that much from reader. god, he’s a profiler. he might not be able to actually read minds but i’m pretty sure he’s perfectly capable of picking up clues with his IQ.

specially during her first fucking time with a man. how would he want her to tell him she loves him if she’s still soooooooo inexperienced? literally how? i feel bad for reading it this way but the andromeda chapter fucked me upppp. there were all sorts of theories going on my mind after i read it.

she knows nothing about relationships and is constantly put into the dangerous position of wanting to please him, he never forces her but it’s pretty obvious she TRIES. how is that not enough for him? and it’s not just the sex, he has always had her affection at his disposition (i say this according to the way she’s agreed to accept his invitations to events like the bar or film festivals, the way she’s constantly kissing him without being sexual and always asking for him).

nevertheless, i’m really excited to see how the series will be evolving as they go. every chapter comes up with something new and i love that we’re able to theorize about it. i just really hope we get a big apology from spencer because….

i’m keeping this one:

💐

thank u so much for taking the time to share ur thoughts!! I rlly appreciate it lovely!! and honestly i don’t think you’re alone in disliking dybmn spencer😭 he gets a lot of hate!!

me explaining stuff abt reid below👇 there are reasons for him being the way he is it’s not ALL inexcusable i promise!!

he is honestly probably more insecure than reader. one thing a lot of people have asked me is “how does it make sense for him to be so traumatized from what happened with elle and still have slept with a ton of women after” and honestly psychologically speaking it’s really not a reach that he would have done that! often when people are really insecure about themselves they seek reassurance and validation from other people, and sometimes they go about getting that validation through sex! i imagine since elle he’s never had a real committed romantic relationship and it’s all been very casual hookups, sometimes w the same people but never breaching into romance territory (don’t mention maeve idk if she’s canon or not in dybmn universe lol)

and I don’t think he’s holding her hostage, he just truly can’t imagine that she loves him back. and if you think about it he has every reason not to. his affection hasn’t been reciprocated or received well for most of his life (elle, his dad, his mom, jj (sorry for bringing up jeid)). even if you’re receiving all the input that someone likes you, if you hate yourself enough you’ll go to crazy lengths to not believe it.

i agree that it’s not super healthy, but he knows that! in my mind that’s actually why he told her on the phone that they didn’t feel the same way—he was trying to essentially be like hey girl you should know im pretty sure you don’t like me as much as i like you, and that’s fine, but if it makes you uncomfortable then we should talk about it because i don’t want you to feel like there are terms and conditions on our relationship that you didn’t understand.

also it might be helpful to realize that in some ways spencer really is not more experienced with romantic relationships than she is. he had a situationship with elle that never went anywhere and a bunch of hookups (and maybe maeve but even if that happened it was like a fake relationship lmao they were e dating and I don’t believe he really loved her but that’s a post for another day). but he doesn’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship with a partner who really cares for him any more than she does. most of dybmn is from readers perspective and she FEELS that he’s way more experienced but that experience is pretty much limited to sex which is obviously a big hang up for her so not surprising that she focuses on it so much and his experience seems so vast. but yeah romantically he is also a late bloomer and fairly stunted. he’s kinda figuring it all out for the first time just like she is!

so anyway that was me defending reid for four paragraphs!! but also maybe he’s just an asshole idk men suck why am I defending one of them

thank u again for giving me an excuse to talk abt this!!! ily

#asks #headcanons #💐

[blushedfemme]

hi :) so i’m a 25yo femme lesbian and i’ve never had sex (has to do with growing up closeted in a strict over controlling environment) im only just now starting to have more independence and control over my life and i want to have sex. and i dont want to wait until i find something serious with someone cuz that could take a while and also i want to have experience for when i actually have a serious relationship with someone so i can be a good lover for them. tho i admit i do find it a bit scary i’m considering downloading dating apps to find people to have casual sex with next time i’m out of town. but i don’t really know how to go about it… i feel like no one is gonna want to fuck me because i don’t have any experience like how weird would it be if i’m in someone’s dms like hey i’m a 25yo virgin are u still dtf? lol .. so yeah if u have any thoughts or advice or if people reading this have advice please let me know cuz i’m a little nervous but i really want to do this..

hi lovely 💕 it sounds like you’ve had a very tough go of it and i’m so glad to hear you’re now able to have independence and control over your own life, that’s incredible ☺️

first, there is nothing weird about being a virgin at any age and no one who’s worth your time will fault you for it. i would happily have sex with someone who has no experience and there are a lot of people out there who feel the same!

i gently urge you to let go of the idea that you need to have a certain amount of real-life sexual experience before you start dating for a relationship. being a good lover is simply about communication, trust and curiosity about the other person. i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: anytime someone is with a new partner, no matter how much sex they’ve had, they’re inexperienced because that particular person’s body and pleasure is brand-new to them. we are all “virgins” the first time we have sex with someone new. your future partners will be learning you at the same time that you’re learning them, and it’s beautiful and messy and real and very sexy, trust me.

in my opinion, all the experience you really need can be acquired on your own, by reading about sex (erotica, sex education, sexual health sources, etc.), watching porn that you enjoy, and by fantasizing and exploring your body by yourself. masturbation absolutely teaches you so much and is a valid form of experience. especially if you’re coming from a background of sexual repression and being closeted (i can super relate) just getting yourself comfortable with your sexuality and being horny is a whole process. but doing that will help you have better, safer and more grounded sex.

all that being said, casual sex can be great and fun and there’s nothing wrong with pursuing that, too!! a few thoughts under the readmore bc this is getting long:

always have an open convo about STIs and any other health considerations beforehand. if it feels like you can’t have that convo for whatever reason then you probably shouldn’t have sex with that person. i am guilty of being reckless with this and although i’ve been lucky so far it’s not worth the anxiety lol

be prepared to speak up!! you have to be honest about what feels good and what doesn’t, or you’re probably not going to enjoy it. people can’t read minds. it’s hard to speak up with someone you don’t know very well. our ‘niceness’ programming kicks in. you have to override it.

be very clear-eyed about expectations going in. if you’re just looking for fun, and the other person is trying to date you, that can lead to messiness and hurt. it needs to be casual for both parties.

standard safety practices apply: tell a friend where you’re going, agree on a time to check in and a protocol for if shit goes awry. trust your gut. if something doesn’t feel right, leave.

sex is a huge endorphin high, and that usually means there’ll be a crash afterward. the next day you might feel like shit and regret everything, even if in the moment you were super into it and having fun. this is normal, it’s chemicals in your brain and not a reflection on what actually happened. (unless this feeling persists or you feel icky abt something specific that went down, then talk to a trusted friend or a mental health professional if you can.) if you have a good line of communication with the person you hooked up with, just reaching out and saying “hey, i had fun the other night, i really liked it when you did _____” and letting them give you some reassurance in return can go a long way to soothe the hook-up hangover

i hope some of this helps 💗 and no matter what, going at your own pace and taking your sweet time will always feel better in the end, even though it can be tempting to rush and “make up for lost time” (speaking from experience as a late bloomer myself.) wishing you luck + lots of safe and amazing sex!! 😉

#clarke answers #ask a femme #long post

[wormdolls]

probably the number 1 thing i was doing wrong in regards to my mental health was not telling anyone i was in pain. i have my own theories as to what i have but im still a little afraid of the "self-diagnosis isn't valid!" crowd (even though imo educated self diagnosis is usually valid, especially if medical diagnosis isn't accessible to you), but one of my experiences is a huge amount of what's called "psychological pain"--basically, pain without a physical cause. it's emotional pain. like how grief hurts, that's pain without a physical cause.

And i just...didn't fucking tell anyone. then something bad happened and it sent me reeling, and then i realised that I actually had to tell people that I was in pain. and I don't think a lot of people realised how much pain I was in, and it made me realise "oh shit, I shouldn't be in this amount of pain most of the time!"

you should definitely tell people if you're experiencing psychological/emotional pain or hardship, or you run the risk of burning a hole in yourself (metaphorically) and making it worse. I mean, I've been telling people at a time that is technically too late. I left it too long, I messed up, and now I'm dealing with the consequences. I'm hoping it's not too late to fix it or make it better, but who knows. because I was afraid of being a burden and making my pain even slightly uncomfortable for my friends and loved ones, I ended up isolating myself and then crumbling under the pressure, and my pain became someone else's pain. I promise you, if you are surrounded with good people, and you tell them "hey, I'm in pain a lot, and in need of comfort" they will offer support. And it's a hell of a lot better than running yourself into the ground trying to hide it

#mental health #mental illness #mental health support #neurodivergent #mental health reminders #learn from my mistakes PLEASE

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

im so sorry to send you this but im confused. i thought izzy hands was obviously homophobic while i was watching the show but now people on the internet are telling me that calling him gay and homophobic is a conspiracy theory. i want to trust my instincts on this as a queer myself but they say it so much i think im starting to believe it. i know literally none of this matters but its genuinely bumming me out. maybe we all just have slightly different definitions of homophobia?

I would love to answer this for you. Your instincts are correct. Izzy is gay and homophobic. You should trust your gut on this because it's important for you be able to identify guys like Izzy irl if you're someone who might be on the receiving end of homophobia.

What happened is that back in June of 2022 everyone fully agreed that Izzy was one of those repressed gay men who's internalized homophobia rotted his soul and became externalized. We wanted to put him in a jar. We all interested in how this weird little freak got this way. Then everything changed when the canyon formed. Since then it has been a mad dash to beat the allegations. Unfortunately an actor has validated them in a way that makes me really wonder about him frankly, because he seems to be operating under the impression that people are saying that Izzy is a "homo sex is sin" Style homophobe when nobody was saying that, what we were saying is that Izzy is incredibly weird about and hateful towards feminine men and he believes that Stede is corrupting Ed with his foppishness, which is still homophobia it's just a different brand of homophobia than the religious right's obsession with the mechanics.

Tbh tho I don't actually care about that actors' take because he's not a writer, he has a history of not being very good at reading the subtext given that he fully didn't realize it was a gay show for half the episodes, and David Jenkins has liked multiple metas on twt about Izzy being a homophobe so I'll trust that lol. The only consequence that Con O'Neill being publically wrong has had for me is that people occasionally do an unearned victory lap when he says something.

But also I low key sometimes feel incredibly unsafe knowing that there's a substantial group of people who claim to be queer and against homophobia but who can't understand that the whole subplot with Lucius in episode 5 and the thing with Ed in episode 10 is laced with bigotry against feminine gay men. I don't think admitting that means you have to think it's his only motivation or that it's contradictory to the read of him being attracted to Ed and Lucius or with the concept that he's mostly just power hungry, but it does sort of mean that I have to move through the world knowing that there are people in my own community who would fully blame me if something happened to me. I don't fucking like it. That's why I get so upset about this so publicly. It's like so what happens if I get attacked but the guy calls me a namby pamby or a bitch instead of a faggot. Are you gonna be like "well we don't know~". It's just an uncomfortable thought. I don't understand why they're so desperate to beat the allegations either, like he's fake. People who have experienced things like what Ed and Lucius went through at his hands are real. The argument that gay people can "do something to (someone)'s brain" is written into legislation trying to ban trans people from public life. Nobody wants you to stop liking Izzy we just want you to stop saying shit that's harmful

And I don't necessarily think that everyone who chooses to put more emphasis on Izzys obsession with Ed wouldn't be able to identify a hate crime, I just have seen more than one piece of meta that goes "Izzys not homophobic he just thinks Stede is a mincing fop who's corrupting Ed with his frilly whiles there's nothing homophobic about that" and I just have to block them for being homophobic themselves because what else do I do with that? When I vague post about this shit I'm talking about specific ass things that I've seen that have made me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe not generic canyon trends. I just really feel like we need to calm down about Izzy. Like you can feel empathy towards a gay guy that hates himself and write a bunch of fic about him getting laid without deciding actually he did nothing wrong and everyone who can see that that's not true is making shit up to oppress *checks notes* people who like a fictional character. I don't get why that's so hard to do.

#the izcourse

[dollittie]

I am new to jirai kei, but I just wanted to know some tips and other things I should be educated on in the subculture 🩷 I just don't want to come off as ignorant because Im new 🫶 so do you have any tips or things I should know? ⁠♡

hii!! sorry for taking too long to answer, i wanted to do this post as informative as possible!!

massive tw: harmful behavior, s*x work, mentions of self-h*rm.

i will talk about the differences, the stereotypes and the reason behind them, having the "jirai kei" as a main subject. if you want to know more about the girlykei style you can ask me anything!! like brand recommendations, tips on buying from japan, makeup, girlykei must haves, etc.

please keep in mind that:

• jirai kei (lifestyle) and dark girly kei (style that jirai girls use) are two separated things and you can be jirai without using the style and you can use girlykei without identifying as jirai.

• the western vision of jirai is totally wrong. jirai kei in Japan isn't a style at all; jirai kei is a lifestyle that is seen as "unhealthy".

jirai kei came from “地雷系”. translates to “landmine-type”, not the literal meaning as “landmine”, is a japanese slang for "trigger" "red flag" “地雷を踏んだ”, meaning “i stepped on a landmine”. in reference to a person, a “landmine” is someone that’s so easily triggered over minor things that they keep exploding on others with abusive behavior, so you need to be as careful as if you were walking around a minefield.

this meaning has been around for about a decade, primarily used in dating advice articles about how to recognise “red flags” in a partner.

"but it isn't a style?"

in those dating stereotypes, even the most arbitrary traits were considered red flags and wearing dark alternative fashion is already enough to have someone considered a potential landmine, the style in question is called dark girly kei. (style used by many jirai kei girls)

around 2020, jirai kei didn’t have any associations with any particular fashions or interests, but when a popular japanese makeup vlogger started a “psycho girlfriend” dress-up challenge and called the final look a landmine-type cosplay. she contributed to the stereotype that the landmine-types were often fans of dark girly fashion, every influencer was getting in on the trend, and cosplaying as a landmine-type psycho girlfriend, generally also tagging with “yandere”, then a lot of influencers did the challenge and lots of girlykei brands started to use the "jirai kei" terminology to sell more.

"why would someone call themselves jirai knowing that it means "psycho woman" in other words?? wouldn't it be romanticizing?"

there's a lot of people who call themselves jirai kei knowing about the difference of jirai & girlykei because of their mental conditions, i myself use jirai kei to not feel bad about my mental state and to connect to other people who struggle the same as me, in my opinion even if they stopped calling themselves jirai they wouldn't stop their unhealthy behavior, they're not mentally ill because of jirai, they're jirai because of their mental illness. the spaces for real mentally fucked people in the internet are few, these people that are called "psycho bitches" exist and they shouldn't feel bad about being like this, they are the people who most struggle with all of it and it's their business if they want to call themselves it. telling people to not use the jirai kei term will not stop them to engage on harmful behavior, at the end those people are still mentally ill and have more problems than the terminology they use. might be thinking the "jirai antis" are some sort of saviors or something like that, if you really want to help those people don't blame it in the community and style they've found themselves.

all jirais don't have the same behavior even if all of them have a fucked mental state, some of them might be posting self-harm for validation, some are obsessed with their s/o, some doing sex work for attention, some of us has violent thoughts and bpd, some of us are just neurodivergent, or have depression, etc, is a form of venting/expression, and venting ≠ encouraging someone.

some info:

• the term hadn't changed its meaning, japan doesn't reclaim words.

• the association of girly kei with harmful behavior is maybe related to "toyoko kaiwai" (トー横キッズ) who's around Kabukicho, many of the members have been wearing various dark j-fashion styles before the "psycho girlfriend dress-up challenge" became a trend. they're credited as the reason for why those styles are associated with the landmine stereotype to begin with. they're been connected to under*ge pr*stitution, dr*g ab*se, public self-h*rm, murd*r and theft.

they are around age 9-24, (firstly known as toyoko kids, but like, there's a lot of adults in this) they're often privileged children who were convinced to get away from home by bad influences. and many members have died or been hospitalized as a result. for more info search the Japanese spelling on any japanese news site, or their signature hashtag on social media (#/toho横界隈).

the association of jirai with this gang is their former leader “Howl”, who died by suicide while waiting in custody for a trial, convinced minors to run away from home in order to “work” for him and dress in a way he finds attractive (dark girlykei).

all these minors he "convinced" are victims, you can use the style without agreeing with this behavior and be jirai without agreeing with this, they're all manipulated children and it isn't their fault.

sorry for it being too long, and if you want sources lmk!! thanks for asking <3

#jirai kei #landmine girl #地雷系 #jirai onna #dark girly kei #地雷系コーデ #地雷系女子 #jirai kei blog #jirai kei masterlist

[royrockstone]

I need your thoughts on the Roman food lore from this episodes. There’s something so important to me about him not having control over what foods he ate and how that plays into his whole Food Issues now.

I also think there’s something to be said about ‘throwing a tantrum’ when you don’t get the food you want, and that tying into the panic and fear of breaking your ‘food rules’.

well, first of all i want to say that exchange was such a great microcosm of a huge part of the shows whole critique. someones literally like ‘lets do fascism bc of something unpleasant in my childhood’ and the other character engages with that like its a valid argument, and suddenly we’re litigating a childs tantrums instead of talking about whats actually at stake. were always at the whims of a supposedly rational and hypercompetent elite’s fucking tantrums! two people trapped in a permanent traumatic childhood were born into a position where they get to run the world (into the ground)

i think in some ways its the Dog Pound Chocolate Cake thing: roman sees his siblings (as opposed to his father, who he sees as not wanting him to eat at all) as always forcing the Wrong foods on him, telling him when and what to eat. eating cements his status as the Weak Dog (i think around logan hes still the weak dog but he keeps the hope alive that maybe hell become someone different, someone stronger. i also think when hes alone hes like ‘ok im weak i cant avoid that but i Can minimize the site of all this weakness and disgust by whittling away at my body. and by not eating, i can feel cleaner and better and more beautiful etc etc.’ but i digress!) so kendall got what he wanted to eat bc he was strong, bc he deserved it more, but also specifically roman was being discouraged from being emotional (you would just keep having tantrums if we let you get what you wanted or w/e kendall said)

i could read his rigidity around food as disordered in and of itself (safe foods etc) i think theres also a chance roman never wanted to eat steak. i think kieran mentioned in particular in the Infamous Interview that roman talks a big game abt liking meat but doesnt mean it (which is also about masculinity) so maybe hes just Selectively Remembering how that went down. which brings me to the other thing that i think is interesting abt roman bringing it up now. since hes clearly in his Trying To Be Logan era, i could see this being part of his ‘you’re the man you’re totally the man don’t i remind you of logan’ schtick, wherein hes trying to jam the square peg of his actual personality into a logan-shaped hole. so hes asserting that he deserved to eat (meat in particular, bc Masculinity) that he deserved to get his way, that he wanted to eat— bc thats what logan would do

#ty for the askkkk i wanted an excuse to monologue about that!! #s4 spoilers

[braingutzz]

⚠️ [SPOILER WARNING FOR IDW SONIC #63/#64] ⚠️

i know im late to the party and not to start an argument but the duo arc in sonic idw is very stupid and badly written.

i keep seeing people agree with this stance for different reasons (aka. LANOLIN DUMB AND DOESN'T BELIVE SILVER!!) when like- she kinda has reason not to.

i just think its way way way too forced because none of the characters are doing things that they would fucking do-

first of all, HE KICKED YOU TELL THEM HE KICKED YOU

whisper literally saw it happen- she saw him kick silver. she knows what duo did!!! and even though silver didn't know that she saw what duo did, it would be very in character to tell them anyways! he's very honest and headstrong! he's not a loser who will fold the moment someone tells him he's wrong!! HE TRIED TO KILL SONIC!!

STOP ACTING LIKE A KICKED LITTLE PUPPY YOU ATTEMPTED MURDER, YOU FOUGHT GODS, YOU RID THE WORLD OF THE METAL VIRUS WITH SONIC. FIGHT BACK

"it was an accident" he literally kicked you. you were already rightfully accusing him- WHY NOT BRING UP THE FACT HE KICKED YOU??

also dude his eyes literally changed colors and he gave you an ominous and obviously evil grin.

he brought up the eye changing to whisper and not the rest of the team for some reason??????? later in the issue, whisper confides in silver. they talk about their suspicion and come to the conclusion that this is mimic! for really valid reason! now, let's move onto the next issue. SURELY they'll tell lanolin about this... right? RIGHT????

"do you have any proof?" "we will soon."

and then the girls start fighting.

dude- JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER— lanolin, you are the leader of this newly form group. two of the members who are extremely skilled and have so much experience under their belts are telling you something. maybe don't immediately jump to defending the dude you've known for like two days??? like don't let them assault the bitch, but call a group meeting or SOMETHING.. but she's new so i can excuse that i guess. but SILVER AND WHISPER?? SAY SOMETHING!!! PLEASE!!!!

this kind of plot is genuinely so annoying it makes me want to rip my hair out. i hate this trope so much- I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION TROPES WHEN THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY FIXED- YOU COULD JUST SHOUT OUT ONE SENTENCE LIKE-

"HE KICKED ME!!" or "HIS FORM STARTED CHANGING!!"

also one thing that could've made this infinitely times less infuriating..

DON'T TELL US ITS MIMIC LITERALLY THE PAGE AFTER HE GETS ACCEPTED INTO THE DIAMOND CUTTERS!

anyways i believe that's enough ranting today, i genuinely love sonic franchise so so so much. i am just annoyed by this specific trope to no ends. everything else about this comic? ive loved it! genuinely such a fun time to read, but this plot feels so aggravating and redundant. it just makes silver look like a loser who will fold at any pushback. it makes lanolin seem bossy and untrusting of her team and like she just wants to put them down. it makes whisper look incompetent and like she has no idea how to make a point or cooperate in a team. and it makes tangle... not exist, lmao.

anyways have a nice day bye

#idw sonic #idw sonic spoilers #lanolin the sheep #silver the hedgehog #whisper the wolf #duo the cat #mimic the octopus #rant post #negative #idw sonic salt #rambles #unedited rant #sonic idw critical