#someone fucking kill me please 😐
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thought swimming would help with my neck pain and headache but it just made it worse, now I have a migraine and I'm feeling nauseous
#really can't catch a break#I'm so tired 😭#and i still have a bunch of work to finish#someone fucking kill me please 😐#anny.txt
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The Perfect Match
Jason Todd x Reader
Summary: A head cannon on how Y/n is the perfect match for Jason.
Warning: this contains references to heavy topics, so if you are easily trigged, then please read at your discretion.
Masterlist - Tip Jar
Jason is one of the most complex people.
His life experience has set him up for some incredible challenges.
By the grace of god for everything that is good, you walked in and made him whole.
You were, Jason’s perfect match.
Understanding and Reliant
Jason has had an incredibly traumatic past, the death of his father and loving step-mother, becoming homeless, feeling rejected by his adoptive family, having his birth mother sacrifice him, being killed by the Joker… seriously… what HASN’T this poor man been through?
With that, Jason needs a partner who can at least, understand that he has a lot of pain to bare, and that Jason had his own unique way in processing that trauma.
Dick: “He tried to force Bruce into killing the Joker.”
Y/n: “Was it wrong of him to get someone else to do his dirty work? Yes, absolutely, however, the Joker did kill him and his mother… need I say more?”
Damian: “He kills criminals- not turning them into Arkham as we are required to.”
Y/n: “Firstly… hypocrisy. Secondly, Arkham is fundamentally broken and objectively not effective as we have established numerous times. Jason has found a permanent solution to criminals who hurt without cause or resolution.”
Tim: “You’re literally excusing his actions.”
Y/n: “I’m not saying I agree with everything Jason has done, but I can understand why Jason has done what he did and why he thinks that way. Agreeing and understanding are completely different words.”
Jason sitting smuggly with his arms crossed.
Jason: “Yeah! Tell them off babe.”
Jason at times feels like you’re the only person who understands him.
But even more so, Jason loves that you defend him in front of others with unwavering support.
But in private you reason with him gently.
Y/n: “Baby, I see why you feel Bruce should’ve avenged your death, but it’s just not part of his philosophies, punishing him for someone else’s crime wasn’t fair… you really should apologise for torturing him, I truely believe Bruce was doing what he thought was best.”
Jason: “… I’ll think about it.”
Loyalty
Jason has severe abandonment issues.
His father and step-mother dying in quick succession, with no extended family willing to take him in.
Meeting his bio-mother, who bargained her own life in exchange for Jason’s. Which Jason graciously accepted despite how undeserving it was.
Bruce ‘replacing’ him quickly after with Tim.
Bruce not avenging his death with the Joker.
Jason was constantly making sacrifices for others and as far as he was concerned
No one returned the favour.
So Jason really values loyalty to the highest degree.
As he believes it’s a rare trait.
Your unwavering love and support is everything Jason could’ve asked for and more.
However…
Jason: “Would you leave me if I ever cheat on you.”
Y/n: “Yes, absolutely.”
Jason: 😲
Y/n: 😐
Communication Skills
Jason, is generally, horrible at communicating his feelings and needs.
His feelings are expressed through action. Not words.
This can often be frustrating but this just means you have to come up with creative ways in which Jason can express himself.
Jason: “Fuck, fuck, fuck everything is fucked!”
Y/n: “Common grumpy pants, let’s go for a drive.”
You’ll often drive Jason to scenic places and you’ll both wonder around in silence before you take him home snuggle up and just watch a movie.
You do all the right things without being asked.
You know what he’s trying to say without him saying a word.
You know that the last thing Jason needs, is to explain himself.
All he needs is reassurance.
Which you do perfectly.
Supportive in his Endeavours
Jason has a … unique take on justice.
He is the lawyer, judge and executioner.
If he finds a criminal guilty of a heinous crime and said criminal is not sorry.
Then that criminal is typically never heard from again.
Whilst you may or may not agree, you both have a burning passion for the betterment of your community.
Don’t forget you both call Gotham your home.
Jason just loves how passionate you are at making the city better for everyone.
His focus is on cleaning up the crime whilst yours is to build a better foundation to better your community and home.
Jason loves that you hold the same values as his own.
#dc x reader#dc imagine#batboys#batboys imagine#batboys x reader#Jason Todd x reader#Jason Todd imagine#jason todd headcanon#red hood x reader#red hood imagine#batfam x reader#batfam imagine
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Toman Groupchat (everyone's here again, well most of em)
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of periods, mentions of drugs, mentions of pregnancy
Desc: Mikey and Izana realize the actions necessary for Emma to get pregnant, and they don't like it (also Yuzuha and Senju r gay, sorry)
Emma: Mikey while you're at the store could you pls buy me pads
Mikey: ayt
Mikey: your pussy size is large right?
Smiley: ayo
Angry: there's a reason for dm guys😕
Baji: LMAO
Emma: :(
Emma: that's not how it works
Senju: me personally, I wouldn't take this level of disrespect
Senju: that's crazy
Draken: Mikey you dumb fuck
Rindou: is that how periods work?
Rindou: the bigger the pussy the heavier the flow?
Rindou: holy shit
Rindou: i'm gonna add that to my new song
Sanzu: why
Rindou: listen
Rindou: "the bigger the pussy the heavier the flow"
Rindou: "no pussy can beat my rap game tho"
Rindou: 🔥
Sanzu: what the fuck
Izana: that may be the worst thing i've ever heard
Ran: no, let him do what he wants
Ran: please rap those exact words on your next gig
Emma: guys can you not I'm already in a bad mood 😭
Hina: Emma-chan do you need me to come over?
Emma: yes pls. we should have a girls day :)
Draken: if you guys need me i'll be at the shop with Inupi and Shin
Emma: okay ❤❤
Mikey: you didn't answer the question bruh
Emma: just take large😐
Izana: why r u in a bad mood I just gave you ice cream
Emma: cause of my period
Emma: i didn't expect it to come
Yuzuha: do you not have a calender
Emma: no it's just i thought i'd be pregnant by now
Emma: me and Ken have been trying for a baby everyday for the last 2 months so i thought it would have worked :(
Izana: k
Baji: r you guys as Emma's older brothers just gonna let this happen
Baji: can't believe you said that Emma
Mikey: wdym
Izana: ?
Baji: Emma just told us that Draken has been blowing her back out everyday for the past 2 months
Kazutora: yooooo
Hina: guys😐
Baji: y'all r tripping
Mikey: ...
Mikey: Ken-chin☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
Izana: what the fuck Draken
Senju: must be nice Emma😊
Senju: great relationship, great house, great penis
Senju: i'm really happy for you guys (when is it my turn to be happy, i'm so sick of this)
Yuzuha: lmao good for you Emma
Yuzuha: and Senju you're literally famous
Izana: i'm literally going to kill you
Draken: ...?
Emma: are you guys serious right now
Mikey: you guys have sex
Mikey: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
Draken: i-
Draken: she's my wife
Draken: for 4 years now
Izana: what makes you think that means you can touch her???
Mikey: i'ma tell Shinichiro btw😐
Kazutora: someone lost NNN lmao
Ran: only single people do NNN so they can feel rewarded for their virginity and feel like it matters and that it's worth something when it's not
Kazutora: yes
Kazutora: let me have something damn
Angry: i'm the champ of NNN just btw😡💙
Angry: wait that was before i saw Rans message :(
Smiley: sometimes you do this to yourself
Emma: Manjiro get the fucking pads
Mikey: k, but i don't wanna talk to you anymore
Yuzuha: "adult man baby cannot fathom that his sister has sexual relations with her husband"
Yuzuha: is that about right
Mikey: i'm not a man baby
Mikey: does this mean the same with Hina and Mitchy?????
Mikey: 🤢🤮😭😰
Mikey:
Hina: you're just mad cause the only thing you ride is your bike
Hina: i'm sorry i didn't mean to say that
Hina: i apologize 😔
Baji: get it Hina, eat him up
Baji: dumb ass, pubeless ass, broke ass, b.o smelling ass, no bitches ass mf
Mikey: PUBELESS???
Mikey: I HAVE SO FUCKING MANY DUDE DONT PLAY WITH ME RN
Mikey: I'M A GROWN ASS MAN
Baji: yet you can barely grow any hair on your body
Emma: he tried to grow a stubble once and got an infection☺
Kakucho: the same happened with Izana haha
Kakucho: ...i'm sorry
Izana: 100 pushups
Izana: now
Kakucho: Izana please
Kakucho: i just had a gallon of ice-cream
Kakucho: please
Izana: your begging will amount to nothing
Izana: do you want 150
Kakucho: 😞
Takemitchy: leave my boy alone 😕✊
Izana: maybe put on some deodorant first
Takemitchy: ...i don't smell tho
Izana: Hina tell him
Hina: tell him what😅
Hina: there's nothing to tell babe❤
Hina: I love you so much more than anything even
Takemitchy: ...i'll go take a shower😕
Yuzuha: free Hina
Yuzuha: you deserve a woman, they smell nice
Senju: i smell nice😚
Senju: and i'm so smoll
Senju: i'm so microscopic
Senju: maybe we could compare hand sizes Yuzuha🤗
Yuzuha: what r you doing
Baji: why are you acting like a pick me
Senju: cause i want her to pick me tf🤨
Senju: anyway
Senju: Yuzuha☺❤
Yuzuha: uh
Senju: one date?🤗
Yuzuha: uhm
Yuzuha: ykw fuck it, sure ig
Senju: ...
Senju: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OMG
Senju: GONNA START A LIVE ON INSTAGRAM
Senju: MY FANS R GONNA BE SO HAPPY😭😭😭😭❤
Yuzuha: ?
Sanzu: poor girl
Sanzu: she copes by feeding her delusions
Sanzu: a shame
Mikey: is that why she's so happy all the time?
Sanzu: yeah
Baji: aren't you delusional?🤨
Sanzu: i'm very normal
Ran: oh please
Rindou: and how exactly do you cope?🤨
Sanzu: i don't need to cope i'm a fucking superstar
Sanzu: also ketamine
Rindou: 😒
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers manga spoilers#tokrev#tokyo revengers texts#tokyo revengers smau#tokyo revengers groupchat#toman groupchat#tenjiku groupchat#sano manjiro/mikey#baji keisuke#ryuguji ken/draken#matsuno chifuyu#emma sano#kurokawa izana#hitto kakucho#sanzu haruchiyp#akashi senju#tachibana hinata#hanagaki takemitchy#hanemiya kazutora#haitani brothers#kawata brothers#bonten#shiba yuzuha#drakemma#takehina#idk i ship yuzusen for some reason#i also believe Rindou raps for some reason#he's good at DJ'ing but his raps are atrocious
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•smut• no sleep till brooklyn — yandere! toxic as hell! theodore nott x ftm! reader
prompt #9 of the slytherin boys x reader thingy i made
9) Theodore Nott + smut + angst + No Sleep Till Brooklyn — Beastie Boys
this man istg 😭🥵
reader is trans ftm, reader has afab anatomy
tws: dub-con (ish?), murder, violence, reader has afab anatomy, reader wears a binder, mentions of past misgendering, possessive & obsessive behavior, incredibly manipulative behavior, more plot than smut because the author is an asexual virgin 🫥
2.5k words long, the smut doesn’t start until 1.2k words in 😐
also theo’s pretty fucked up in this soooo- please don’t be in murderous, manipulative, toxic, obsessive, and/or possessive relationships just for the aesthetic. you deserve better than that.
Warning! Smut ahead! MDNI! (you will anyways let’s be honest)
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Based on these lyrics from Beastie Boys’ No Sleep Till Brooklyn:
‘…My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time’ &
‘…Itchy trigger finger but a stable turntable/ I do what I do best because I'm willing and able’
~~~
“Theodore! Stop, please!” you fall to your knees in front of him, fresh tears leaving streaks against your otherwise dirt- and ash-smudged face. Your hands clasp together in a pleading manner as you look up at him desperately.
He looks down at you with no emotion. Like your pleas are nothing more than a mild irritation to him.
More appeals for mercy fall from your lips, your words too jumbled together for even yourself to make out. Your two muggleborn friends remain huddled in the corner, clinging to each other in fear.
Finally, Theodore speaks. “Your wand,” his voice emotionless and cold as he holds his hand out expectantly, showing off that vile tattoo as he does so.
You shakily draw your wand from your robes, gently setting it in his hand. As your fingertips brush against his palm, you shiver.
You could swear you feel him shudder too.
With no preamble, he whips around and mutters,
“Avada Kedavra.”
Your friends.
You watch them fall. Everything feels like it’s in slow motion. They crumble, their lifeless bodies hitting the floor with a sickening crack!
He killed them. He killed them. He killed them. Theodore Nott killed your best friends with your wand.
“You motherfucker!” you shriek, lunging at him and tackling him to the ground. He draws in a sharp gasp as you claw furiously at him, practically straddling him as you knot your fingers in his hair to slam his head into the ground.
He groans in pain, dropping his wand while scrabbling for a grip on your frantic wrists. Theodore grunts as he swings a leg over, using the momentum to quickly switch your positions.
He breathes heavily as he hovers over you, his eyes widening and cheeks flushing as he realizes the rather compromising position you both are in. Kneeling between your thighs, your knees pressed against his hips. Both of his hands wrapped around your wrists, pressing them into the floor. You defiantly glaring up at him, nothing but pure burning hatred in your eyes. You writhe under him, scowling and trying to wrench your wrists from his grasp.
“Y/N- Y/N, calm down,” He soothes. “It’s okay, just calm down.”
“Calm down?! You motherfu-”
“Yes, yes, I know. You can curse me out all you want once we get out of here, okay?” He says in a soft tone, moving his hands up to hold both of your wrists in one and free up the other. He cups the side of your face with his free hand, running his thumb along your cheekbone.
You freeze up. “Theo..?”
He smiles down at you with an unnervingly happy grin on his face for someone who had just murdered two people. “I love it when you say my name like that, pretty boy.”
You remain still, completely bewildered and unsure of what to do. He keeps stroking your cheek with a mesmerized look on his face, tracing each of your features like he wants to memorize them.
You tremble slightly, your mind frantically running in circles to make sense of the situation.
Okay. Theodore thinks I’m pretty. That’s good.
Theodore murdered my friends. Bad.
He’s being very sweet and careful. Good.
Murdered my friends. Bad.
“Stop thinking so much, darling,” he mumbles breathily, his thumb trailing down from your cheekbone to your lower lip, dragging it down and watching it spring back up.
“You killed them,” you whisper back, still in disbelief.
Theodore, at least, has the mind to look remorseful. “I’m sorry, precious. But they weren’t a loss.”
“They were my friends! They were my friends and you killed them!”
“Do friends refuse to call you he?” Theo points out scornfully, his face twisting into something much crueler, his thumb rubbing obsessively over a spot at the base of your throat. “I’m your friend, Y/N, sweetheart. You don’t need anyone else, do you?”
Your breath quickens.
He wouldn’t kill me, right?
What would he do if I made him mad?
“I…I guess I don’t.” You say carefully, the phrase walking on eggshells suddenly making a lot more sense as you stare up into his wild eyes.
Suddenly, the crazed look is gone, and Theodore goes back to grinning happily at you as he leans down to peck your forehead.
“See? There’s a good boy. All for me. Mine.”
He leans back up and reaches out for his wand, laying discarded on the floor, and smiles at you once more. You then feel an odd sensation, a bit like what you would imagine squeezing through a tight rubber tube would feel like, and find yourself sprawled out on the freezing, dusty, marble floors of a very rich manor—Theo still on top of you, although now crushing you with his body weight and looking quite a bit out of breath from the exertion of Apparating.
Your chest heaves from the unfamiliar sensation, your head pounding. Theo suddenly scrambles to his feet, leaning down and hoisting you up as if you weighed nothing. Startled and dazed, you stumble at the sudden movement—straight into Theodore’s chest.
He makes a happy sound, wrapping his arms around you tightly and laying his cheek on the top of your head. “Good boy! See? I knew you loved me!”
As much as you hate to admit it, Theo gives a damn good hug.
Merlin, stop it, Y/N! He. Murdered. Your. Friends.
(horny jail, Y/N)
You shiver again, from his touch or from the coolness of the mansion, you aren’t sure.
“Wh-where are we, Theo?” You ask softly, mentally cursing yourself for how small your voice sounds.
“My house,” he responds, eyes closed, a dreamy look on his face. “They’ll never find you here.”
You shiver again.
“Are you cold?” He asks, his eyes opening to look down at you.
You start to reply, but are cut off by Theodore suddenly scooping your legs out from under you and starting to carry you up the grand staircase that dominates the foyer.
You squeak, gripping onto his shoulders in fear. He full on giggles, leaning in to kiss your cheek.
“I’m not going to drop you, love.”
He reaches the top of the stairs, entering the first doorway he reaches. It’s a tastefully decorated bedroom, with soft sage walls and lots of tiny things that are just purely Theo.
A pair of dragon-hide boots he got for Yule by the door. A poster for a well-known Quidditch team on the ceiling. A half-finished pack of Camels on the nightstand. The World’s Sluttiest Dad mug Pansy had given him for his birthday last year as a gag gift, now being used as a makeshift ashtray.
Theo carefully deposits you on the center of the large, messy bed as he heads back over to the French doors (fucking rich people) that you’d just entered from, shutting them quietly.
Propping yourself up on one elbow, you watch him return to the bedside like lovesick puppy, toeing off his shoes before clambering onto the bed next to you. He goes back to kneeling over you, his knees on either side of your hips, before gently pushing your elbow out so that you lay back down. He holds himself up by his hands on either side of your head, looking at you for a long moment.
Not moving, just…observing.
He drops down to his forearms, wasting no time in pressing his lips against yours.
You don’t kiss back, frozen underneath him.
Murdered your friends. Bad.
His thumb goes back to sweeping over your cheekbone as his hands cradle your head with the utmost admiration.
Bad. Murdered. Bad. Frien. Bad. Murd. Ba-
You kiss back.
He makes the most delighted sound you’ve ever heard, kissing you with more passion at your reciprocation. He nips at your lower lip, soothing the immediate sting with his tongue.
His hands wander down from the back of your head to your chest, fingers fumbling with the buttons of your uniform shirt. One by one he unbuttons them.
One by one your doubts and guilty thoughts vanish.
When Theodore finally manages to get your shirt open and off, he smooths his hands down the front of your binder. He groans softly into your mouth, his hands running over the flat planes of your chest with utter reverence.
He pulls away from your mouth to lean down and kiss your collarbone, his tongue tracing the along the dip of your throat.
“Pretty boy,” he mumbles again, more to himself than anything. Every motion, every action he makes seems to be fueled by pure devotion to you.
You gasp as he kisses over a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, the fingers you have laced in his hair tugging pleadingly.
“T-Theo-” you beg quietly. What you’re begging for, you’re not quite sure.
He seems to know though. His hands tug at the button of your uniform pants, unzipping them and tugging them down quickly. You pull at his hair again and he moans against your throat.
“Fuck, darling,” he sighs against your skin, tugging down your boxers and gripping at your hips. “So pretty. So gorgeous. All for me.”
“For you,” you agree. “Yours.”
He growls, kissing you again, this time with much more possession behind it. “Mine.”
Your hands slide down from his hair to his shoulders, then to his chest. Reaching for the hem of his t-shirt, you tug it upwards, coaxing him to let go of your hips for just a minute so you can remove the damned thing.
He reluctantly acquiesces, letting go of your body just for a second so he can slip off his shirt and wriggle out of the rest of his clothes, but then his hands are back on you, everywhere. He reattaches your mouths like he’s dying of dehydration and your lips are a damn oasis. You sigh comfortably into his mouth, hesitantly brushing your hand over his chest and admiring his figure.
(Although you’d never admit that’s what you were doing. His ego doesn’t need that.)
While you’re distracted by his abs (sweet Merlin, Theodore Nott has abs), he takes the opportunity to slide one finger inside of you. You squeak in surprise, hips bucking up instinctively.
He laughs softly against your mouth, curling his finger teasingly. You moan desperately, rocking your hips downwards against his hand.
“Needy little thing, aren’t you?”
You can’t help but whimper at his words, nodding quickly—doing anything just so he’ll give you more. He laughs again, adding a second finger and starting to move them at a tantalizingly slow pace. Before long, he’s added his ring finger, reducing you to a pathetic, whimpering mess beneath him.
Suddenly, he removes all of his fingers, making your eyes fly open and a displeased whine leave your throat. He shushes you softly, patting your thigh while he rolls on a condom. (wrap it before you tap it, you funky lil sluts <3)
He chucks the empty wrapper into the void where all of your other clothes disappeared to, climbing on top of you and leaning in close.
“Are you sure you want this, love? Just say the word and I’ll stop.”
“If you stop now, I will castrate you, Nott, I swear to Merlin-”
The rest of your threat is suddenly cut off by Theo lining up against you and slowly pushing in. You dissolve into a puddle of moans, fingers scrabbling at his shoulders and clawing at his back.
“H-holy fuck- you're so big-” you whimper, head falling back against the pillows and eyes squeezing shut. He pauses for a minute, rubbing your side reassuringly.
“That's it, there you go, just breathe for me, sweetheart,” Theo coos, wiping a lone tear from your cheek. After a moment, you let out a shaky breath and nod for him to continue. He slowly presses the rest of the way in, his body trembling with the exertion of staying still so that you can get comfortable.
Theodore swallows thickly, mumbling something under his breath about you being so fucking tight, sweet Salazar.
You nod your assent again and he slowly pulls out before pushing back in, causing both of you to moan loudly. You lean up to kiss him, almost reverently, and grip his shoulders like a lifeline. The muscles in his back and shoulders move under your hands with every thrust of his body, making your cheeks flush because holy fuck that’s hot.
“Faster,” you beg, delighted when he immediately complies. Theodore's hands roam over the fabric of your binder, fingertips creeping under the hem as he groans loudly.
“Ain’t gonna last much longer, love,” he pants into your shoulder, dragging his fingers down from your chest and to the bundle of nerves outside of your body. His fingers circle around it, not bothering to tease you any further, instead just focused on making you cum.
“Shit!” You curse loudly, raking your nails up his back. “Don’t stop!”
His fingers speed up, finally pushing you over the edge. Your body shudders and shakes around him as Theo finishes inside of you with a guttural moan, his arms trembling before giving out and making him collapse on top of you.
You both pant wildly, desperately trying to catch your breaths. Theo groans and slowly pulls out, wincing in sympathy as you whimper. Tying off the condom and tossing it in the general direction of the trashcan (hooray for safe sex!), he rolls over to collapse back down next to you.
You roll over as well, curling into his side and resting your head on his chest. He looks down at you, surprised, but smiles broadly and runs his hands through your hair.
“I’m still pissed at you,” you mumble sleepily into his chest.
“I could make it up to you,” he suggests slyly, trailing one hand down to your hip.
You snatch up the wandering hand, bringing it back up somewhere safe. “Nope. Don't test your luck tonight.”
He sighs overdramatically, nuzzling his face into the top of your head. “You’re so mean to me.”
“Indeed. How do you ever survive being so bullied?”
He pouts. “Maybe you ought to make it up to me, then. Why don’t you give me a kiss, love?”
You roll your eyes fondly, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss against his mouth.
“See? I knew you loved me.”
“If we hadn’t just had sex literally five minutes ago, I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, Nott.”
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
first time ever writing smut, can confidently say i’m going to hell now
i’ll send y’all a postcard when i get down there 🫡
if you could tell that i’ve never had sex just from this shitty oneshot, then shush no you can’t
not edited. probably will never be edited. i know myself well enough to know that if i ever read this again, i’ll have a mental breakdown and delete this entire account.
#harry potter#hp#fuck jkr#hp x male reader#x male reader#gay#male reader#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x male reader#theo nott#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott smut#x reader#trans#transgender#trans reader
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How each main spider member would react if Miles asked them to help him hide a body.
For some context Miles lost a bet with his roommate Ganze and he has to ask six people he knows if they would help him hide a body.
Hobie
Miles: Hobie I desperately need your help!
Cool dude: what happened?!
Cool dude: you need backup mate?
Miles: No I need you to help me hide a body.
Cool dude: sounds fake but okay 🙄
Miles: ????
Cool dude: i know you don't have it in you to kill someone
Miles: What if it was an accident?
Cool dude: even then you probably turn yourself over to your pigs
Miles: ......
Miles: Don't tell anyone I asked you this.
Cool dude: 👍
Gwen
Miles: Gwen I need your help!
Miles: I need to hide a body.
Gwanda: WHAT!?
Gwanda: What happened Miles?????
Miles: I accidentally over-shocked a villain and they had a heartache or something.
Gwanda: Are you okay? Where's the body?! I don't know shit about hiding bodies!
Miles: Sorry I lied. I lost a bet and had to tell you I needed to hide a body.
Gwanda: 😐 😑 😐
Gwanda: I'm blocking you.
Miles: WAIT! I'M SORRY!! 😭
Miles: Gwen?!
Miles: GWEN???
Miles: 😓
Pavitr
Miles: Pav? I need your help
It's chai🍵: Okay! What do you need my help with (ㆁωㆁ)❓
Miles: I accidentally killed someone and I need your help hiding the body.
It's chai🍵: Call me on the goober we need to minimize your digital trail. You'll also have to destroy your phone. Margo and Miguel are busy so we can't just hack it.
Miles: Wtf bro? 🧍
Miles: I was lying. I had to do a bet......
It's chai🍵: Okay (✿^‿^)
Miles: No why do you know so much about covering up a murder?
It's chai🍵: 🙂
Miles: That's definitely not at all ominous.
Miles: Please don't tell people, this needs to be a secret.
It's chai🍵: If you keep my secrets I will keep yours. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧✨
Peter b.
Miles: Um... Pete I need your help. I accidentally sort of killed someone....
Miles: And I need help hiding the body.
Hobo Spider-man: Yeah um. Kid I can't help with you on that one. I can offer emotional support but you're going to need Miguel for this one.
Miles: What....
Hobo Spider-Man: Big guy is the expert when it comes to that. Miguel is really good; definitely helped me.
Miles: Um... I didn't actually kill someone. I just lost a bet.
Hobo Spider-Man: Oh. That's good then.
Miles: I don't know which is more terrifying.
Miles: That Miguel is apparently an expert at getting rid of bodies.
Miles: Or the implication that you needed his services at one point.
Hobo Spider-Man: Please don't tell him I told you this.
Hobo Spider-Man: The cops will never stop finding my body.
Miles: I didn't think you could say anything more horrifying but I guess I was wrong.
Margo
Miles: I don't have anyone else to go too. Can you help me hide a body?
AI girl: Fuck that in all honesty. Go to Miguel.
AI girl: He doesn't pay me enough to help someone cover up a murder again.
Miles: 1. I lost a bet and just had to tell people I need help hiding a body.
Miles: 2. WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN?!
Miles: 3. You get paid???????
AI girl: Lol rip.
AI girl: Don't ask..... Just don't.
AI girl: Surprisingly yes. But before you ask, no. He will not also pay you.
Miles: :(
AI girl: Have fun talking with Miguel! 👋
Miles: Haha I'm in danger.
Miguel
Miles: Um, tìo.
Feral work dad: Yes Miles? Do you need something, I am very busy right now.
Miles: I need help hiding a body? Apparently you're really good at that???
Feral work dad: Don't worry araña I'll take care of everything.
Feral work dad: I'm coming to help you.
Before he can even type a response on his phone an orange portal appears in front of him.
And that's the end. Sorry if this comes off oc I'm still learning how to write each of their personalities. Also this is a rough draft and I might complete it later.
#atsv#spiderman atsv#miguel o'hara#hobie brown#peter b parker#pavitr prabhakar#gwen stacy#chat fic#miles morales#ao3#fanfiction#i can't think of anything funny to say in the tags#🤷
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Can someone with psychological knowledge please explain fan fiction? And of course, in this instance, I mean Rammstein fan fiction. I can read anything from comfort to the nastiest, filthiest stories and really pull myself into that world, especially if it's written very realistically (no ooc) AND YET once I finish reading, it is over. There's none of it bleeding into reality. Sure, we all aww at Paulchard kisses and touches and make silly jokes but it's never "Oh they are 100% fucking".
It's like getting off, washing your hands, and then coming out for dinner with the family 😐
Hi 👋🏼
I must say, this is an interesting take on things (and made me laugh in the last part, not going to lie 😅). I may not have extensive psychological knowledge, yet I'll give it a try and put my (of course subjective) thoughts into words here.
For me, fan fiction first and foremost is like a filter you put over reality - to try out different 'what-if' scenarios, living out fantasies in a save space, explore possible different timelines, universes (be it daring fantasy AUs or the good old comforting coffee shop/comic book store AUs) and outcomes of maybe real life scenarios of the people in question (rather popular in the R+ realm of course is the Mutter era on this regard).
You mentioned that none of it bleeds into reality for you - one possible reason for it can be (from my perspective) that the base of all these fan fictions, the band itself, really exists before our own eyes. We can check on them, get updates about the band members, we comprehend that these are real people with personal lives, making decisions in their lives which lead them in a certain way. I can imagine as soon as you (or lots of people who feel the same way) finish a fan fic, the so called 'filter' is instantly gone. Since in real life it's very clear that for example Paul is in a committed relationship/Schneider is married with kids/the band members are in fact just day to day people and not high profile gangsters (etc etc, you get the jist); I can imagine that these real existing facts can act like a sobering effect.
Yet not everyone has this admittedly quite healthy distance to fan fiction - I must admit that when I read for example a tragic fan fiction (character death, lots of hurt/comfort, melancholic/sad endings), I do struggle snapping out of it immediatly. In terms of rationality, I know that Richard did not die of the plague/did not leave the band/the band was not killed during a heist/what-have-you, and yet I find myself almost feeling like wrapped in cotton wool - kind of paralysed mentally for a few days, my mind still revolving about this particular fic.
I think all in all it's a question of character, how the mind reacts to certain things, how attatched one is to fiction and the admittedly fictional characterisations of real life people.
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ok so basically the suspended me for having too many unused urls, which personally i think is crazy i mean were my saved urls really such hot commodities… WHO was jonesing for fucking. richardpapengirl. wonked. livvypalmer. jugheadscheherazade. jessaarons. these are loser urls only i could have loved that’s why i had them…. MY theory is to blame a swiftie. because one saved url i had was offinaforeignland (lyric from timeless) which i didn’t think anyone wanted due to it not even being a canon url… but it’s the only thing i can think of that i had that anyone would want and swifties are vile creatures so why not blame them!! ALSO. i believe someone was out to sabotage me because when i got the email about being suspended i also got THIS email at the same time to the minute
i got the don’t kill yourself email… so it feels very like somebody was trying to report me to Big Tumblr any way they could. that or there was some horrifically coincidental timing going on. my last post last night DID say something along the lines of “something horrible just happened to me in my bathroom” which i can see someone reading as worrisome. to clarify in case anyone needed it, that post was in fact actually about diarrhea. not self harm. so yeah. just in case we needed that explained 😐
ANYWAY so the email was like. hey somebody reported you for having unused urls, delete the blogs you don’t use and we’ll un-suspend your main page. so i deleted them and i replied to their email like heyyyy please give me my blog back i did what you wanted…. and i decided to wait til this morning for them to do anything. nothing happened this morning so i went to fucking. tumblr support this afternoon and submitted an appeal like heyyy i would loveee to have my blog back I’m not breaking the community guidelines anymore…. and i’ve decided to wait til tomorrow to see if they do anything. um i love to blog tho so here i am right now… hope they give my main back this is an awkward situation i’m not deleted but i can’t use my main i don’t jive with this at all…. we’ll see what happens tomorrow idk
anyway that’s my story <3 really sucked when i woke up this morning and wanted to make a gif compilation post about not wanting to go to work and i couldn’t…. evil….
#so i’m not allowed to reply to posts even MY OWN nor can i like anything#but i an literally still see the dash everybody i follow is still here and visible#it’s weird i didn’t even know they could do shit like this…
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Since i made tjis tag i thought i might as well add onto it already so uh yeah… again: feel free to use this to explain the internet to ur parents
Emoji guide!!
💀: is like a way to laugh. Specially like a „bruh“ or „no she/he/they/you did not“, „i cant believe he/she/they/you did this“ or „there is no way they/you/she/he did this!“. Do not use this if someone died please!
😭: also a laugh. Dont ask. People use it differently but many people use it specifically when they are jokingly complaining or whining about something. Also when something is unbelievable and/or like a wheezing „what?!“ or „seriously?!“
🥺: we usually mock ppl w this saying they’re pick me (fishing for compliments)
🤠: i hate my life right now
😃😀: those are like a frozen smile and show that u highly dislike smt
🙂: im about to strangle someone and beat the shit out of them. When you need to take a deeo breath to keep cool
🙃: either mocking pedoph!les lt trying to creep someone out or saying that someone is creepy
😆: hAHa YoUrE So FuNnY (hint: youre not funny)
😁: ironically saying „look what I’ve accomplished“
🥹: is the version of „🥺“ that we actually use
🥲: can be „beautiful“ *wipes tear from eye* or like the office glance at the camera.
😇: i do not in fact have very good intentions
☺️: im gonna kill u. Kind of a „you did what now?!“ when u try to keep calm
😊: im so not okay right now and i hate my life or being proud in a bragging way
😉: make fun of pedoph!les
😌: uh-huh thats right. Im great (and u suck). OR „good girl“ yk?? Or being proud
😗: also a frozen smile kinda thing
😋: hehe mischievous
😝: mocking old ppl
🤪: ironic way of mocking pick me girls (aka girls that are fishing for compliments)
🤨: „thats what she said…“
🧐: „do you realise what youre saying??“
🤓: making a mocking voice
😎: mikedrop
🥸: are you aware that u sound like an idiot rn
🤩: IM GONNA BE A DOCTOR OR LAWYER OR SMT (i didn’t fail my maths exam for once)
😣😖: u gonna cry?/ go cry about it
😫: our generation is weird and has to make everything moaning. Sry but this is moaning.
😩: „OH COME ON!“
🤯: are you telling me you didn’t know this yet?
🥵: moking hot situations or saying „that was close“
🥶: „YOU GOT ROASTED“
😶🌫️: wasn me
😱: are you telling me u didn’t know this?
🤗: im so happy for u (i hate you and i don’t think u deserve shit and it’s not fair that i have smt i want. Fuck u)
🤭: you think im frightened of u?
🤔: ironic way to say „i wonder why“
🤫: i did smt haha
🤥: i did smt not-so-haha
🫠: „that was so embarrassing“ discompfot or blush or a way of showing a crush. Some people use it as that thing where j get rly angry and try to cover it up and then your eye starts twitching
🤥: haha wasn me (it totally was me and we all know it)
🫥: no ones laughing
😐😑: i cant w u
🫨: more ironic version of „🥶“
🤤: i want that
🙄😴: waiting
😮💨: why r u such an idiot? And why did god choose me to handle it?
😵- oh— (swallowing a laugh)
🥴: w h a t
🤢: exxeragating way to make fun of ppl
🤑: gimme gimme
🤡: u/i sound like an idiot. Also way to mock creeps
👹👺: when u make your voice all bellowish and/or come of creepy and weord
👽: he/she/they sounds like an idiot. Are they dumb? Or „girl—?“
👾: stop talking. Ur annoying and also no ones buying ur shit
✌️: often used ironically
🤌🏼: *cheffkiss*
🫰🏼🤏🏻: teeny weeny
🫴🏻: y tho
☝🏼: mhm (pretending to be an authority figure, usually in a lightly mocking way)
🖐️: oft used in combo w „😭“ to say „can i live??“
👁️👄👁️: heh
✍️: noted OR im writing u in my death note
🦶: stfu or what ur saying makes no sense
🫦: mockingly sexual
👣: ur onto smt
👀: „woOHP“ *swallows a laugh*, he said what?, offensive sideeye, looking forward to smt OR i may or me not be plning smt (im absolutely planning smt) aka what i says has double meaning
🗣️: no one wants to hear your bullshit
👼: opposite as 😇
💆: this isnt a massage. This is me desperatly holding my demples and taking deep breaths so i dont kill anyone
💅: fab. Its also kind of slang/ hidden way to say „gay“ and do the handflick thingy. At least it used to be idk
🧑🦯: ur not making any sense
🧍♀️: someone spunds like an idiot or idk what to do w myself/ this sotuation
🕴️: you are about to break into dancing
🕺💃: vibing w music
🎩/🎓: used to be like „ha look how smart i am because of tjis one thing i got right“ in a nonserious way but no one rly uses it anymore
💍: marry me (obv) but like in an easy way. You had a good idea and im flashed by it so im exerragating your genious so much i want to marry u. Thats just an example obv
👑: u dropped this
🦄: delulu
✨: to make a word fancy like precenting a banner u put one of these at the beginning and end of the word/phrase/sentence. This can br sarcastic or serious. In quarantine many people used this as general quote unquote marks
🌚🌝: hehe
🔥: pften used by bro-pal-guy-jocks to push a post by comenting
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It happened on New Years Eve (3)
You are driving back home and you walk into your house and see a text from Chris.
Chris-Hey Y/N how is everything? 🙂
You shake your head and ignore his text. Chris calls you.
You pick up and yell. "What the fuck do you Want?" he says. "Y/N what's wrong? why aren't you texting me back? is Dodger ok?" You pace and say as you get more tears. "You fucking didn't tell me you have a girlfriend when we..Hooked up, I found out by her coming to your house when i was there!." Chris sighs and says. "Y/N I was going to break up with her, it didn't mean anything right?"
You sit on the couch in your home and scoff. "yeah i was fucked up so i didn't know what i was asking, sorry i guess." You are about to hang up and he says. "Wait please, I think it meant something to me, Look, I get back this week, we can talk about Alba then alright?" You say. "Fine, but just know that she is with dodger right now, he's ok." Chris laughs. "Good to hear, sorry if your upset i promise to talk to you about this."
You nod. "alright sorry if i yelled at you." He says with a laugh. "I deserved it i bet." You play with your hair and say. "Your a sweet guy and you only deserve the best in your life."
Chris says. "You to do Y/N." You say goodbye and he says the same and you hang up and text your bff.
Y/N-So..chris has i mean had i don't know a gf...😐
BFF-WTF!? and he didn't tell you!? Ohhh my god i am going to fucking kill him! he used you!! That asshole!
Y/N-I just wished he told me then i wouldn't have ht on him and done more, i am so dumb to think i would get a chance with Chris Evans the Captain America and all this shit. 🧐
BFF-Awww! bff it's ok, i am sure there is someone out there for you Don't give up 😊
Y/N-your right..as always lol thanks for the talk, Chris said he gets back this weekend so he wants to explain the whole Alba and him thing..what ever that means.
BFF-Sounds good, text me when you can, love ya!
Y/N-Love ya too bff talk soon.
BFF-🥰 🤗
A few days later.
You come home from work and you see dodger in the living room. You say. "Hey bubba, what are you-" You sigh and say. "Chris how did you know where i live?" Chris is cooking in the kitchen and he says. "You friend and my brother told me about your place, hope you don't mind but i brought some food."
Chris looks at you.
You say. "I guess if it's just dinner and um..nothing else." Chris walks into the living room and says. "I broke up with Alba, no i didn't tell her about New Years Eve, i broke up because of the fans." You look at him and say. "What about them?"
Chris sits and says. "They just..they don't like anyone i'm with." You sit down and say. "It's not up to them chris, only you know how you feel about someone the fans don't know much about your feelings."
Chris looks over at you and smiles. "So, you know me?" You giggle and say. "Not at all, Chris. I know that your a hard worker and you love dogs and you care about everyone, even when your anxiety goes crazy and might i say, you don't have to be ashamed of that, Stress and so many things can you feel like that, I remember when I was going through med school I had so much going on that i almost dropped out."
"Chris nods saying. "But you didn't, why not?" You lean back on the couch and look at him saying. "I had a family and friends who helped me though the tough times, that's what got me to where i am now." Chris smiles and says. "Good to hear your ok now, Y/N." You smile and say. "If you ever need help, just let me know." Chris nods saying. "But you didn't, why not?"
You lean back on the couch and look at him saying. "I had a family and friends who helped me though the tough times, that's what got me to where i am now."
Chris smiles and says. "Good to hear your ok now, Y/N." You smile and say. "If you ever need help, just let me know." He nods. "i'm glad we met Y/N, your the most beautiful, amazing girl i have ever met."
You look over at him and say. "Thanks, but that doesn't change that you fucking lied to me." Chris turns to you and says. "i told you, i was going to break up with her, plus you came on to me remember?"
You bite your lip as your eyes look at his. "Yeah right." You walk away and then you hear Chris say. "I'll leave so you don't get mad at me." He says. "Come on dodger."
Dodger stays on the couch and whines. Chris says. "Bubba come on we have to go home." you turn around and say. "He can stay with me, if you are ok with that." Chris looks at you and says. "If your okay with that, I'm ok with it." You nod and say. "he'll be fine Evans trust me."
Chris says. "I do trust you Y/N" He says goodbye and heads back home. You turn and dodger is laughing as he looks at you. You say. "Okay bubba come on, you can stay with me."
Dodger runs to the small dog bed by your bed and lays down in it. You pout and say. "Dodger you don't want to stay?" he looks at you with a sad face. You snap a picture of it and post it to Instagram.
Y/N:@ChrisEvans he looks like he's missing you 🥺
Liked by Chrisevansfan#1 LisaMarie and 14M others
Scottsgram:Aww wait is he with you? @chrisevans 🧐
Fan#2:Aww!! Dodger!! 😍 Wait is Y/N and ChrisEvans dating?? i heard they had a one night stand! lucky bitch!
Y/N fan1:@Fan#2 don't call her that! that's rude! 😱
Lisamarie:Aw Y/N he looks so cozy at your home.
Y/N-@Lisamarie: He is missing Chris he's staying over with me :) Not chris but his dog lol.
ChrisEvans-Aw poor bubba, I trust you though he'll be ok. 😉
Y/N-@Chrisevans Thanks for the sweet comment 🫠
ChrisEvans-anytime Y/N ☺
Chris Evans liked your picture.
You put your phone away And get into your bed and say as you look at dodger. "You sure you don't want to come up here?' You lean on your hand and he looks at you and stretches out and falls asleep. You smile and turn off the lights and say. "Night bubba" You shut your eyes and sleep finds you fast.
Part four will be out soon, thanks for reading.
Taglist:@cutedisneygrl @patzammit @armystay89
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guess who finished turnabout bigtop…
what the hell was that????? i felt like crying at the end because why was it so sad??
(spoilers under the cut, tw for suicide and mentions of grooming)
the ENTIRE thing was a fever dream. i know it was rushed and literally written under the influence, but GOOD LORD ????? some of the most insufferable characters i’ve ever seen were in this case. i was so tired when i finished it though i think they warmed up to me.
moe was something else, but me and my sister kept laughing so hard whenever he made the sprite like 😐 he was the real mvp of this case though (in a way??) very annoying sometimes though
regina was so bubbly and sparkly and her gimmick was just not working. this case has some of the most gimmick heavy characters, so i genuinely cannot deal with how bad some of them are. the whole plot involving regina was also kind of gross because of the age gaps between max, ben, bat, etc…i do understand her whole thing was about being sheltered and spoiled and unable to cope with bad things and blah blah blah though
big back ben… he was just an uncomfortable character. 31 in love with a 16 year old?? i did like the whole act with him and trilo at least, i like how he almost uses him as an outlet? or that’s what it feels like anyways
i actually did like acro. i thought he was dramatic and kind of an asshole for plotting murder on a 16 year old for an incident that basically killed his brother, but my sister was totally on his side. now i do feel like if the girl who inadvertently caused the death of my brother was in my room every day, taking out my trash and feeding me, and laughing and smiling, showing NO sympathy about what happened and saying “ohhh he became a star :)” i would go a bit insane too. not to mention him being wheelchair bound because of the incident, AND unable to leave the lodge because he lived on the third floor (someone move this poor man to the first floor please) the isolation must’ve been torture with the only person you see being what you see is the cause of all this. when he finally DID have enough of it and executed his murder plan, it didn’t even go right. he instead killed his only family figure he had left, leaving everything he had gone. his legs, his job, his brother, and finally the ringmaster. moe said he was livid when acro found out about the ringmaster’s death, because he didn’t even KNOW who he actually killed. he must have been crushed by that point, and he did contemplate suicide or turning himself in to the police. but he didn’t. because he KNEW bat was still alive, despite being as good as “dead” in the seemingly unshakable coma. he couldn’t kill himself or go to jail, because he needed to be there for his brother on the off chance he even woke up. he’s a murderer, but it wasn’t pure malice. one of the more sympathetic culprits in JFA .
max was funny, but again the whole thing with regina was really weird. i did like how he was a country bumpkin and his real name was billy bob johns and his flamboyant personality was great too
moving on, the whole case in general didn’t feel real. it was all zany and gimmicky, it didn’t seem like it should belong in AA. in fact, nearly all of the cases in JFA feel like a fever dream.
the plot was SO convoluted, and the whole trial parts were actually the worst. i liked the investigations. i think what i love about the investigations in little communities like the circus or global studios or the police department in rise from the ashes is the absolute TEA that the characters give you. like YES can i hear about all these scandals, and dee vasquez’s ties to the mafia and the rumors about edgeworth and blah blah blah… yess girl give me the drama!!
overall, everything felt unnecessary and over the top, but it’s a circus. i guess that was a point. still an absolute batshit case to go through, most insane and annoying story i’ve seen come out of AA so far.
justice for everyone in that fucking circus though. justice for regina too!! shes getting groomed left and right. will never forget this case for like another 10 years. God.
#turnabout bigtop#ace attorney#justice for all#acro deserved better. a little#the BLANKET??#and the cloak just PERFECTLY. snatching on that fucking bust#WHAT THE HELL#regina needs her therapy#EVERYONE in this shitshow needed therapy
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I have reached the end of the game and am at the part where it is controller throwing angst. That freaking dragon man… lv 12 vs a “Fuck you dragon”
On another note that bit with Haarlep was…ummm Interesting and the bit after when you are minding your own business walking through town and this happens.
When you take one for the team and get more that what you were bargaining for. You better be happy Lae’zel 😑😳
Honestly I laughed because it is funny but at least SOMEONE is concerned. Everyone else was just like “please forgive us for our strange sorcerer’s unfortunate behavior in the middle of the street.” at least it didn’t happen when confronting Gortash..omg could you imagine?!
“Umm. Could you give me a minute,Gortash. I know you and Karlach are having a serious conversation and she is yelling at you with good reason but I am having a slightly inconvenient and very embarrassing issue. Stop laughing and looking at me all confused! *in squeeky voice*This is a serious matter!”
“That’s putting it lightly…😐”
“She took one for the team!”
“FOR A FUcKING HAMMER”
“……and Hope”
“Hope huh?”
“That was the imprisoned crazy lady’s name”
“Oh…”
“Yep”
“A HAMMER”
“TO FREE MY PEOPLE”
“We did kill Raphael…though”
“No shit?”
“Yea”
“Is….is she going to be ok?”
🤣
“I guess we will find out.”
😳
🤬
😒
“I’m supposed to blow myself up….”
“I am literally burning up and will explode.”
🤔
“This may not be the time to bring this up now, but why didn’t you idiots kill the incubus to begin with?”
😐
😐
“Shit!”
“Shit”
“Yeah, why didn’t we?”
😑
🤬
#baldur’s gate 3 meme#baldur's gate 3#balders gate tav#baldurs gate astarion#baldurs gate gale#bg3 spoilers#bg3 gortash#bg3 haarlep#this was pretty funny#im bored#bg3 tav#bg3 karlach
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mx galedekkarios dot tumblr dot com may i please have some gale and/or bloodweave hcs from your big beautiful mind 👉👈 (or honestly just any longform post of bg thoughts at all bc ur tags keep inflicting me w gory stickmen disease and wanting to read more ;;)
oh anon whadda hell.. u flatter me. 🫶 i unplugged my brain real quick and gave it a shake and this is all what fell out (some are mature):
in a modern au, gale's second favorite cuisine (after greek ofc) is east asian! he loves to both eat it and cook it from scratch. chinese, korean, japanese, etc. he's even good at other asian cuisines like thai and vietnamese. he's gotten very familiar with a lot of recipes and actively tries to learn more. when he doesn't feel like cooking that night, he opts for takeout. he's been a loyal customer of a handful of restaurants for so long that they already know his tastes too.
the only reason why gale's students don't try to flirt with him is because he's too much of a "my wife" guy. he's always wearing his ring, always talking about his partner, and has portraits of them in his office and everything. there's just no way you don't know that he's happily taken. you could be talking about the most random thing ever and he'd be like "omg! this reminds me of how my partner blahblahblah—" and everyone else is just like 😐 because he's already told this story five times before. not even tara is safe from this (and she was probably present for whatever story it is this time, too!). [this is assuming his students are older / uni prof]
i think gale would be the type of person to have a very Intense gaze without meaning to. the kind where you can feel it whenever he's looking at you. or when he's gazing at you lovingly, or even just looking you in the eye as you speak, it's almost too much. it's just so earnest, so sincere, so... intent on witnessing you and really paying attention, that it's like. whoa man. whoaaaaaaa now let's fucking chill before i blink and realize i've fallen in love with you alright 😳 (and, of course, this Greatly unsettles astarion in the beginning bc he's someone that can't afford to be seen.)
i know in my heart that mr "mine was a popular hand at the annual blackstaff's ball" + bagged a goddess + with the way i talk you can't be surprised i'm a generous munch + wyll, is it true that ppl think wizards don't fuck? :( bc i assure you we absolutely do!!!!! + mystra had pleasure domes dekarios was a hot girl once and his pussy still does pop severely. he's just in his depression era rn 💔
wyll calls gale elegant, minthara calls him dashing, shadowheart says he smells like a wealthy dowager, lae'zel assumes correctly that he had many tutors in his youth, and gale frequenting the temple of beauty in waterdeep all make me feel like gale x astarion are very the lady and the tramp coded. after they get married, they're old money x new money.
gale is always eager to teach astarion new spells, but astarion only gets excited about the ones that either help him be a better scoundrel and/or that spice up their sex life. which like. is still a win for them both either way
um. throat goat. that's it that's the headcanon sorry except it's also not really a hc bc he alludes to this but it's important to me tht we repeat it. but also maybe it shocks astarion the first time he's on the receiving end of it like boy WHAT!!!! you didn't tell me you was a freak like that!!! literally that damn shawty ok meme. gale gives him such wet sloppy glizzy gluck that it makes astarion feel like he has to wipe his ass afterward smh
neither of them want to get anywhere near bugs, but in any au gale would be the type to take it outside and astarion would just kill it using one of gale's 39304308309 books laying around
gale struggles to catch sarcasm and astarion loves to rile him up and take the piss out of him for it. lovingly ofc. whenever gale does understand astarion's sarcastic comments, he feels very proud of himself.
astarion sometimes drops things on purpose just to watch gale bend over. sorry (i'm the one that's sorry, not him btw)
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Gonna ask you a difficult question! How would you characterize/handle the Marauders if you were doing a show of that era? Like how would you portray them? I personally think I could probably make Lupin and Sirius sympathetic even while portraying them as a enabler and bully respectively but I would struggle a lot with dealing with James.
Oouu this is an interesting question!!
Ok let’s see:
James: I would portray him as being a spoiled brat, but I would also portray him as someone who follows and not lead. When I first read the books I didn’t get the idea that James was the leader of the group…Sirius was. Think about SWM…James didn’t have Snape on his mind until Sirius was bored, the only reason he started messing with Snape was to please Sirius. I would also portray James as someone who got aggressive when things doesn’t go his way, it makes sense considering he was 100% wiling to hex Lily because she didn’t agree (or pretended she didn’t agree) with his treatment of Severus
Sirius: I would give him so many layers omg! I would make sure to portray some kind trauma, he didn’t have a good home life and even if I don’t like him I can’t erase that or downplay it (like Snaters do to Severus). I feel like it has a big role to play in the type of person he is. He hates his Slytherin family and doesn’t want to be like them, yet the only thing that differs him from them is his house and the fact that he isn’t a death eater…he’s just as evil as them but he’s in denial…he has some kind of superiority complex due to him being in Gryffindor and I feel like he thinks he can do no wrong because of it. That’s why he gives no fucks about bullying and almost killing Snape: he doesn’t see him as another human..he’s just another Slytherin scum. I feel like this plays into his treatment of Remus too, he’s a werewolf, not human, therefore below him..but he’s a Gryffindor and a friend nonetheless. Sirius is complex asf
Remus: I would focus a lot on his lycanthropy and how he feels about himself. I don’t think he was completely happy in the friendship he had with the Marauders but they were all he had and they did do a lot for him, but the bullying and the sideways crack Sirius always made about his condition and how they took him into villages and endangered people…the “prank”…I would definitely portray these things but I would make it known that the only reason he didn’t stop them is because he didn’t wanna lose his friends. Coward.
Peter: Oh god…He’d be sneaky asf. The only reason he even hangs out with the Marauders is because (in the most overlooked words of Sirius) they were “the biggest bullies in the playground.” I would portray him to be the “enabler side character” but I’d definitely shift a lot of attention on him towards the end of the series, because he had A LOT to do with the whole Voldemort situation and I feel like his potential is overlooked within the Marauders community
Lily: 😒….She disgusts me. She never REALLY cared about Severus, not IMO. He was her guide to the wizarding world, that’s it. She pretended to care that he was bullied because that’s the right thing to do but I feel like she quickly came to terms with the fact that she truly didn’t care. I feel like she fell for James while this bullying was going on but rejected him in attempt to keep her morals (if she even had any) and that’s the reason she defended them and gaslit Snape after the “prank.” She told him he should be grateful to his bullies for “saving his life” (although I’m almost completely sure James only did it to save their ass, not snapes) and basically made it seem like Snape was worse than them because “at least they don’t use dark magic” 😐. Lily is definitely that character who struggles with morality.
#I wrote this while doing other things so if it’s not as detailed as you’d like I’m sorry#severus snape#pro severus snape#pro snape#hp fandom#snape community#anti snaters#harry potter#anti marauders#snape fandom#anti lily evans
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do you perhaps have any headcanons/thoughts about either how you would have liked Ava’s story to go in general, or how you would have written her off?
Soooo many thoughts on this 😭 tw ofc cuz Ava’s story is fucked lmao
Ava killing Cornelius was a bad scenario like. Ma’am what the fuck were you thinking
But if we’re still keeping the murder storyline:
She was way too good of a doctor to do that and not know how easily traceable it was and so logically something tells me she wanted to get caught
Give me a rewrite where Ava knew she needed help and knew her manic state/split was only going to end in her or someone else dying
She purposefully got caught and accepted her fate
But a psych evaluation showed the truth
She was deeply trouble and needed severe help and in a moment of clarity after what she did, she recognized she needed help but couldn’t get out of the situation she had put herself in
So if we’re sticking with the Ava killing Cornelius storyline, it would have been so much better to have her live and even given a side plot of her court case and stuff
Gimme my Ava non compos mentis plea 👀
ALTERNATIVELY
Connor comes to his damn senses and notices Ava’s personality shift and is like hm maybe I should ask dr Charles
Daniel is 👀 cuz we know that man loves a good fucked up case
He has his theories and knows Ava’s attachment to Connor so he proposes a plan
If his theory of Ava having borderline or an adjacent disorder, Connor is clearly her Favourite Person and she would do what he wanted if he promised her he wouldn’t leave her
Connor manages to coax Ava into seeing Charles
He made some empty promises 😐 but it was what had to be done
The first half hour is sat in silence
Until Charles mentions Connor’s dad and the rumours he was trying to spread about him and Ava
And it’s like a switch goes off
She’s screaming and shaking and insisting he’s a no good snake trying to drive a wedge between her and her Connor
And she confesses a lot of things
Including her attempt on her own life during one of her and Connor’s fights
How she can’t make friends in Chicago and her emotions are never “normal” they’re either on overdrive or completely numbed
She explains her hallucinations and mentions she has almost no memories of childhood
Charles can see in her eyes that she isn’t stable and the fear she can’t hide tells him Ava is aware of that fact too
The things she said was enough for him to put her on a 72h psych hold
Which she fought and screamed and pretty much lost it on them
She did have to be restrained and Connor felt so guilty because this was the second time he’s seen this happen to a woman he cared about
Especially when he heard her begging for him to help and promising she isn’t crazy and “I wouldn’t hurt anyone! Please Connor, don’t leave me, please!”
And in the end Ava is diagnosed with BPD and bipolar 1 among other things
Her swings between mania and depression are too unstable and on top of the things she’s said during therapy and threatened when she’s manic she is deemed unfit to make her own medical decisions
So Ava gets committed for a while and becomes a patient of Dr Charles
Maybe she gets a few appearances in the show as a patient and she doesn’t die 
Idk just give Ava a chance to get better please 😭
#this is all over the place it’s 5 am lmao#asks#mutuals#nova tag#chicago med#ava bekker#connor rhodes#rhekker
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s&b episode trheeeee s2 reaction
why are the intros so cool this season
i need one of them to punch him right now
stop for a second i thought it was gonna be the bathroom scene
i think that scene is in this episode it better be good 🙏🙏
so does nikolai just. not change his face in this. does he just sail around and hope nobody recognizes him?? im sure someone would recognize him
THE PUNCH 🔥🔥🔥
he better not tell alina that kaz snitched on her
is that that one girl nadia or something i forgot her name 💀
im so smart i was right
zoyaaaa i was wondering where she was
did they change her actor or smth? she looks different but tbh so did nadia maybe their makeup js changed idk
funny scene but i have no idea why they're even there what did kaz ask them to do
jespers face oh this is so when he fell in love with wylan
ok THIS is the bathroom scene it has to be
TELL HER THE DAMN REASON
stop the fact that he immediately turns around when she starts removing her vest because she knows that she had to do that in front of men at the menagerie...
SAY IT
ok he didnt say the i can help you thing but he told her!!!!
"then we destroy him" THE WAY SHE SAID IT 🧎♀️🧎♀️
ik this is a cheap version of the bathroom scene but the tension is still Insane soo
"is there anyone to protect you" "was there no one to protect you" 🥺🥺🥺🥺
THEY'RE SO FUCKIN CLOSE AUGH
"the real one" ITS HERRRR
shes his weakness they make me so insane ☹️☹️☹️
THE EYE CONTACTT and i know you looked at his lips inej
i will actually kill nina
help the look she gave them and then the look she gave inej
"its not what you think" STOP LYING TO YOURSELF??
Time to rewatch the whole thing like 5 times 🙏🙏
the way she said "whats yours" im gonna kms
nina and inejs friendship is so sweet
i love how my reaction to one 3 minute (or whatever) scene was longer than my reaction to the other 25 minutes
"i recommend a cane" no words just. yeah
when hes covered in blood >>>
THE INEJ FIGHT SCENE IS IN THIS EPISODE TOO?? AHH
the hair swingggg
AND THE KNIFE FLICK
this is why inej is the best crow shes literally So fucking cool
"i know all the places too" I LOVE WHEN HER VOICE GOES RASPY
PLEASE INEJ JUST ONE CHANCE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
she is literally the most badass character in this show
going from the kanej bathroom scene + kaz fight scene + inej fight scene to a darkling scene is literally the biggest downgrade ever
genya and alina reunion pleasee
show malina is literally SO much better oh my god - im halfway through siege and storm and i literally want to kill mal hes literally so possesive
and he still has the audacity to yell at alina??
"its your choice to make" SO MUCH BETTER
...no way that david guy just ran away? 😐
wylan flirting with jesper >>
kaz has no right looking that good when hes literally beaten up
Oh wylan is gonna hate jesper now
is matthias crazy
no making him fight a whole ass canibal is crazy i think wolves would be better
OHH NINAS THERE
the kerch really are heathens
i cant blame her if she attempts to kidnap kaz or whatever hes being very fucking annoying this season (which is very in character ofc but yeah)
stop why did i actually get scared by his scream 💀💀💀
shes probably gonna marry him i think theyre going a different route from the books
this episode Definitely had the best crow scenes so far
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The development jungkook has had is 🤌 his confidence is soaring and I love it. I also get momentary kicks everytime taehyung spots them getting lovey dovey. I know jimin broke them up bcz he feels a wierd possessive hold over tae and can't stand anyone else sharing that attention but honestly this menace will end when tae stands up to jimin and tells him to act right.
At this point it is his choice that decides the direction of this relationship.
Hobi and the witch getting cosy 😻 hobi needs himself a happy love interest 😂 I need someone else to throw his sex life in his face now.
Yoongi getting flustered after being the hottest giving most romantic mfer is the most awkwardly cute thing 🥺🥺 he really is a boongie🥺🥺 she picked him up🥺🥺 (war flashbacks to the yoongi drabble getting his ass ate in the kitchen bcz was small and cute) (have you seen yoongi recently?? He's so hot😐😐😐..)
What was that ash that he gave her? Did he suspect some foul play already? Kudos to OC to listening to her intuition and killing the witch. This really reminds me of that TVD scene where all the vampires dropped dead /passed out bcz of the witch council mystic falls council😁 even the mind boiling his blood scene. Bonnie used to do that a lot 😁😁😁
OC literally gets her share of best sex and trauma side by side. My sis needs a long island vacation and skinny dipping.
The development jungkook has had is 🤌 his confidence is soaring and I love it.
this this this this this :(((
Hobi and the witch getting cosy 😻 hobi needs himself a happy love interest 😂 I need someone else to throw his sex life in his face now.
ISTFG and you gotta know that all these witches are major secret kinksters FADJFAJ Hobi is in good hand with Dragana OHOHOHO
Yoongi getting flustered after being the hottest giving most romantic mfer is the most awkwardly cute thing 🥺🥺 he really is a boongie🥺🥺 she picked him up🥺🥺
"he really is a boongie" JFJADJFJA PLEASE WHY IS THIS THE CUTEST SHIT I EVER READ FJADJFJA 😭😭
war flashbacks to the yoongi drabble getting his ass ate in the kitchen bcz was small and cute
*passes out* THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK OF THIS AGAIN FADJFAJD I was on such a rush when I wrote that afjadjfja 😩
have you seen yoongi recently?? He's so hot😐😐😐..
he's been running through my mind 24/7 no joke whenever I'm having a quiet moment my brain switches to "yoongi yoongi yoongi" mode JFAJDFJ
What was that ash that he gave her? Did he suspect some foul play already?
It was magical ash, which serves as a barrier, but there will be more information on it later in the story. And yes he suspected something was wrong the moment he saw those cuts on Sophie's & Shirley's hands 👀
OC literally gets her share of best sex and trauma side by side. My sis needs a long island vacation and skinny dipping.
HAHAHHAHAH she really goes from "nice fuck" to "what the fuck?" constantly ahah protect her soul JFAJDSF ALSO SKINNY DIPPING WITH YOONKOOK I SAID WHAT I FUCKING SAID FNADNF
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