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#some specific things i said and we talked abt that. which im of 2 minds abt bc he did instantly latch onto the root of some of my issues
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#weird day. really weird day#i couldnt sleep v well bc my brain was fucked up and i was prob dehydrated so im like extremely out of focus#i did go to the health and wellness center and am now back in therapy which is why my day was so fucking wild. like im too tired so im not#opperating correctly but it was real weird. like last time i got assessed by someone who basically sorted me to a therapist according to my#problems. this time i just kinda stumbled into a 1st session with someone and i dont kno how to feel abt how it went. it was odd#like we didnt go thru like an entire thing of like what r all ur problems? it was more i started talking abt things and he got stuck on#some specific things i said and we talked abt that. which im of 2 minds abt bc he did instantly latch onto the root of some of my issues#which is that i feel fucking dumb all the time bc my brain works a little different but it also wasnt helpful bc like theres a stereotypic#verson of my experience and then theres what i actually went thru and those things dont align in the way he was talking abt it. like i#think were were just talking past eachother a bit. like he wasn't exactly wrong but i do feel a bit like i walked in with an open wound and#and he decided the best course of action was to pat me on the head and tell me im v smart so i walked out still bleeding. but i dont think#its was all bad bc it got under my skin so much. i react like a cat thrown in a bath if u try to call me smart. like fuck off. yes ok im#smart. i have a certified document saying that i have above average intelligence. big fucking whoop. im too fucking dyslexic to do anything#right and my brain is constantly trying to strangle me to death. he called me a gifted kid. fuck u i was too fucking dyslexic to b a gifted#kid. stop talking abt the positive aspects of the compulsive way i live my life when its literally strangling me to death and i want it to#stop. acknowledge my pain old man. also i hate thst therapists hate the word weird. its not a bad word i like that word. i disagree#fundamental with the assertion that its bad. also he pointed out that i talk like a freak. like a person with high intelligence. fuck u i#like words. i will peel my own skin off if u call me smart one more time. lol i was so mad. i argued with him like the whole time. also he#mentioned horoscopes which was weird but whatever. we'll see how the next one goes. i told him to his face i i didnt kno if what we talked#abt was helpful. possibly the rudest ive ever been to a stranger lol. well see how the next session goes. at least it was interesting#god. im fucking so tired and wrung out.#unrelated
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tabithatwo · 8 months
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i have kindve a rant abt jackie that id like your thoughts on. whenever people write fics where jackie is like. wholly a dumbass it really irks me. like the most we see of her is in the wilderness, of course shes useless?? shes a normal person, she wasnt trained in survival tactics. theres another rant in there abt how she very much could have adapted but she was depressed and suicidal and i think thats mostly why shes useless, but thats a conversation for another time! but yeah. when shes just ditzy and shit in fics it really rubs me the wrong way. like i follow the hc that shes autistic, and specifically the kind where shes very socially aware but still sometimes fucks up a little. like how usually when shes mean she has no idea that it came off that way. i feel like people took that and twisted it to mean that shes some useless moron thats constantly oblivious and needs to be babied. i hope that made some sense? idk, im just curious if thats something other people have noticed and have a problem w or if im too personally offended by it lmao
Here is part 2 that anon sent separately!
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Honestly anon fucking preach lol, that’s my thoughts on it!! I don’t think you phrased anything mean, I get the passion behind it comes from an important place! I tend to really bristle at any women being portrayed as stupid, even when it’s done in a cutesy (read: patronizing lol) manner.
NOW I can get behind a one liner joke like “aww she’s so stupid” about any of the yjs bc they ALL have their dumb moments, usually around EMOTIONAL intelligence! But I know what you’re talking about and I’ve seen it too—portraying her or describing her as likable but fucking dumber than a rock is honestly more annoying to me than the evil genius mastermind take most of the time.
It isn’t supported by anything we have of her character. There’s even a BIG point made with Shauna’s hallucination of her, where Shauna recognizes this sort of unfair impulse to jump to diminishing Jackie’s intelligence. I think that shauna simply feels like she needs one thing that’s just hers, one thing that she’s better at, and in her mind intelligence is the only option. But even she recognizes that’s bullshit. I think that yes shauna is framed as more book-smart than Jackie (honestly shauna is framed as the most book-smart, probably tied with Taissa) but we actually know very little of Jackie’s academic achievement, so it’s sort of up in the air.
But as far as day to day intelligence, I don’t think we’re meant to think Jackie is stupid. If anything, I think the lack of woods participation (which, as you said, is fucking depression and suicidality and fear) can be interpreted negatively as laziness, if one is inclined to interpret it negatively, or a fear of failure, more so than stupidity.
To each their own, I don’t think sort of notably off characterization is malicious unless the person is being cruel about it, but yeah I get annoyed and tend to click away lol and I do think there’s a lot lot lot of misogyny that infiltrates some popular jackie takes.
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yuukei-yikes · 8 months
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hope you dont mind me asking this but since you seem very knowledgeable about the fandom and all i thought it was suitable
why is there so much ship content between sato kido and kano?? are they not adoptive siblings?? theres even some in semi canon (i think) contents like in anthologies too,, i mean not surprised it exists since weird people are in every fandom but its talked so casually here
with momo and hibiya too actually! because of the huge age gap you would think it wouldn't be such a casual ship but it somehow is?? as far as i seen anyways
oh man lollll nah i dont mind. fair question and it's much better to have an answer to this
im putting it under the cut bc it turned out kinda long and into a rant, and also to warn i mention the themes suggested in the ask (incest, age gaps)
basically it's no secret that in japanese media, incest and age gaps are widely normalized even today so just imagine in 2013 when kagepro was at its peak.
back then, kido and kano specifically were a WIDELY popular ship. here's the thing with the weird kano and kido (and seto too but mainly kano and kido) shipping, aside from what i said abt normalized incest and shit. kano and kido (and seto) being siblings is actually... sort of a spoiler? it's not revealed early on.
kano and kido are presented as 2 kids the same age living together and having different names. and they purposefully stop acting like siblings. SO it doesnt register until you get into their backstories. they're both adopted into the same family when theyre like... 7 or 8, and were friends before becoming siblings so people were able to use this excuse: "OHHH THEYRE MORE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS"
but like..... they live together as siblings for YEARS and to be honest im sure 99% of people watch the song mvs FIRST which u can binge in 1 afternoon and if ur watching with any sort of actual interest and attention, you WILL see kano and kido as part of the tateyama family in ayano's theory of happiness. not to mention the anime came out in 2014 which im also sure 99% of kagepro fans have seen. so to me that was always an excuse if it came from a very dedicated fan though i do understand it if it's from a casual enjoyer, like they truly didn't catch that they're siblings
when i joined the fandom i was 13, didnt know eng or japanese, and thought mekatrio childhood friends made total sense for some good 6 months into the fandom until I realised properly. a few months ago, i discovered a very close friend of mine had a kagepro phase in 2014 or something and told me he really shipped kano and kido and when i told him they're siblings he was like WHAT!!!!!!!
and another thing abt kano and kido. they're indubitably the queerest characters. THEY LOOK THE FUCKING GAYEST. there is Something abt pushing the gay characters together?? kido is constantly mistaked for a guy. kano the poor thing had ANOTHER popular ship going for him with ayano because people decided he is that way to shintaro because he actually had a crush on ayano. yeah. this was the fucking consensus with kano, shintaro and ayano. like i mentioned i DONT KNOW japanese and only ever read the translations of the novels and i also dont Know what jin was thinking when writing kano and shintaro. But. dear lord it reads fucking homosexual my dude. jin does this by accident a lot though. look at kido and momo. momo calling kido beautiful 1000 times but she's like Well as a woman i am jealous i wish i was that pretty. bruuuh ok anyways moving on Ill GET to jin again in a second.
like you said, semi official stuff like the anthologies are very heavy on this ship and also.... sorry, the manga which is an official media. is Heavily into this ship. for jin's stance on it, i am not sure. i do think he laughs it off but he NEVER intended to write them that way. in the seventh novel theres a whole bit where kido's telling kano you shouldve never hidden this from me im your sister we are family. even shintaro who is the pov ur reading from is like wow what a nice brother and sister AND THATS THE SECOND TO LAST NOVEL WHICH BY THEN THE SHIP WAS SUPER POPULAR SO TO ME THAT WAS JIN'S WAY OF REMINDING EVERYONE THEYRE SIBLINGS. personally i think jin truthfully intended to write kano and kido as siblings but doesnt care people ship them otherwise he wouldnt have had the manga written by someone who shipped them
so basically what happened. kagepro was confusing and people sometimes missed they are siblings. in japanese media its super normalized. it is 2013 so here it is also normalized in fandom spaces. fanart ensues, even official or semi official content teases it, and yeah. boom its popular
another big part of it was, EVERYONE GETS A PARTNER!!!! kagepro content has A LOT of Shipping Pieces if that makes sense. idk what to call it but like god, pixiv entries with 1 shinaya, 1 harutaka, 1 setomary.... and 1 hibiya and momo and 1 kano and kido. god awful. if any golden year kagepro fans follow me they will KNOW what im talking about.
now that i mentioned it. hibiya and momo. ough. idk man. people were properly weird with this one. because with kano and kido they at least made up a damn excuse. with hibiya and momo there was nothing. but the thing is, jin is entirely to blame here. absolutely fucking disgusting bro. unlike with kano and kido, with hibiya and momo he actively wrote it. in the third novel their chapters together or any of hibiya's chapters are actual fucking torture to read. i wont go into details if u havent read it but like there are Reasons i never recommend kagepro to people.
its good to give jin proper respect he IS the creator of my favorite characters ever in the whole wide world and the writer of the story that makes me the happiest ever in the history of life. but. that doesn't mean i dont hold him accountable for being weird as hell in his writing because he absolutely is
back in the early days of this blog i had my very own Gets Send Deaths Threats arc by some people who shipped these guys or people who were mad i criticized jin (i always suspected it was like. the same 1 or 2 people. with a lot of time in their hands) soooo honestly answering this activated my fight of flight a little bit but tbh i havent seen Any content here on tumblr (i do have everything blacklisted to hell and back) or gotten ANY rude messages here in years, so i think we're good👍
hope this was helpful and i hope ur not grossed out of kagepro though I'd understand. u kinda need a strong stomach not only for its themes but sadly kagepro does the gross anime thing animes do :(
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siren--squid · 4 months
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heyheyheyyyy!!! Youve talked abt Waterparks fondly before but i literally know NOTHING abt them like genre members etc, im sitting cross legged on the floor listening to u explain this rn. and recs maybe 👀?
OH MY GOD THANK YOU. ALRIGHT, SO -
Waterparks is a weird little pop rock pop punk emo band type thing, hard to really narrow them down? Sometimes they lean more pop [funeral gray, 2 best friends, etc] BUT they can also lean REALLY HEAVY into the other stuff [REAL SUPER DARK, RITUAL, etc]
They consist of three dudes, Awsten, Otto, and Geoff!! Awsten as the lead singer and many different instruments, Geoff does some epic guitar moves and awesome backing vocals and such, Otto does the literally best drums EVER and some backing vocals!!!
Awsten changes his hair color based on albums or general vibes of their content, CURRENTLY we are in a red hair era for their latest album INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY which is absolutely one of their absolute best!! My personal favorite is A Night Out On Earth, or RITUAL !! ❤️
Geoff has a twitch channel, it's super fun and chill and he is genuinely so awesome and sweet. UnderscoreGeoff, I think it's called! Such good hang out vibes!
Otto is a serial killer but don't mind that.
Awsten has synesthesia which I believe is why everything is super related to colors, and why the albums and songs have very specific colors associated with them!
Personally I HIGHLY recommend the album Greatest Hits, but FANDOM was probably their most popular? Entertainment is also super super good,,,,,
Also the song Dizzy comes to mind because of your username lmao, I think I've said this before oops.....
I'm always recommending their COVER of the song Starry Eyes?? It's so good omg???????
But if you want a SAD song for your blorbos i recommend the songs Closer, High Definition, and Never Bloom Again ❤️
This band is an absolute special interest and I am genuinely so excited over this ask omgomg. 💙💙
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THESE ARE THE BOYS, AREN'T THEY COOL
Also they have LORE. BAND LORE. WITH TWO CHARACTERS NAMED STARFUCKER AND SOULSUCKER. YOU CAN SEE THEM IN THE FIRST PIC.... THE CROSS AND THE STAR.
Im NOT caught up on the lore BUT we're getting songs abt it soon i think????? :D
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elleashling · 6 months
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so i watched the fnaf movie and i have some thoughts. mostly not good but certainly some thoughts!
(FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ BELOW IF YOU DO NOT WANT THEM)
unpopular opinion but the fnaf movie was frustrating to me because i didn’t feel like it followed the lore at All. like i appreciated all the references (kicked my feet and scream whispered in the theater to my mom when i saw the racing game print on the shirt of the guy who dies in the kitchen) but like the overarching plot made no sense to me. here are some rambling points. long post incoming
Plot Fails IMO
why did afton kidnap garrett (who is nonexistent in the games afaik) from a Campground? this is completely unrelated to the typical afton kidnappings and seems like a major stretch
why is vanessa his (afton’s) daughter? this feels like they tried to smash steel wool lore and scott cawthon lore together and failed worse than steel wool failed at making security breach have a point
why do we care about the mike schmidt namedrop if it isn’t an alias for afton’s son like in the games? why does afton recognize the last name and specifically get mike to work the job, then say he didn’t want mike to even get involved. my brother in christ YOU INVOLVED HIM
yet another piece of media where afton randomly dies. except Different. i don’t understand what is going on here this isn’t how it happened it’s a literal rewriting of the canon lore
the drawings thing was also very odd. the whole point of the animatronics coming to kill you originally in 1 and 2 was BECAUSE they knew an adult had killed them and they thought mike was william. there was no special drawing mind control. felt once again like a steel wool lore transplant, extending control over vanny (vanessa) to the animatronics
Springtrap For Fanservice™️. god im so tired of this stop jamming him in places he wasn’t in to start with
when would this take place even? i estimated somewhere between 1 and 3, clearly fazbear’s shut down but it’s obviously not to the point of fnaf 3 yet? why do they need a guard then? idk
abby schmidt? who
Other Odd Stuff
there was a weird split between horrifying fates and drawn out gore and people being cut in half in impossible ways and….. cutting the tension in half by building a table fort and tickling a child to death. really? every single climatic buildup in this movie felt like it was followed by comedy
my mother pointed out watching this movie that it continues a trope “autistic child provides key help through special connection with main plot problem, and then is immediately cured”. i have to say i kind of agree because why else call her mentally ill at the beginning? go out of the way to show her being by herself drawing (which is FINE! it’s OKAY!!) and then socializing with other kids after the ghost deal is over?
mike schmidt dream plotline. why
what was the point of aunt jane???
vanessa throwing the pills away was probably illegal in multiple ways lmao
sigh… as a long term fnaf fan i really wanted to like this movie but it came off as a whole lot of fanservice and diluting the story for mainstream while blending the new owner’s lore in poorly. i liked fnaf when it ended at fnaf 6!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaahhhaggagah!!!!!!
if you want to contradict anything i said here (or if ur another big fan and you know smth i said is wrong lol) absolutely feel free i love lore and talking about it and if you love lore like me come chat and talk abt this w me!!!
tldr don’t get me wrong i enjoyed it for the references and the little details, matpat and cory and the living tombstone made me giggle, but i really thought they messed up the plot a Lot..
might add more in reblogs as i think of it
yeah anyways ill probably make another post rambling about all the references and stuff lol
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intertexts · 12 days
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GMORNING !!!!! u know what time it is
EPISODE 8 TRIVIA:
- the big monster they fought in the beginning was called a Crawling Apocalypse which looks like this. terrifying !!!
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- bizly really liked that william banished it. he was originally not gonna let him do that but then "i realized your character can do so little and that was cool so i said fuck it" we love william pity points he is such a loser and he rolls so terribly <3
- they start talking about one piece because grizzlys saying things abt how certain parts of dakota are inspired by luffy and bizly goes "ive never watched anime" which is the biggest lie in the world
- grizzly: "yknow we were about an hour into the episode before i realized wow i havent done anything productive yet"
condi: "you just hit on vyncents mom for like 20 minutes!!!!"
- and then they start talking about how dakota and chip (bizlys pc from riptide) would either be best friends or hate each other which is really funny bc there are now MULTIPLE what if crossover episodes where they meet and interact and thats exactly the dynamic . i love them
- condi wasnt expecting his dad to be dead, he thought theyd have to fight him
- he kind of hesitated taking the sword !! vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about using something that belonged to his father
- he wasnt entirely Present for the part where his dad betrayed the party, he was sort of fading in and out of consciousness so theres a chance he didnt actually get the full picture. condi knows this out of character and vyncent knows it in the back of his mind somewhere that his dad might not actually be fully evil but hes too angry to come to terms with that yet
- hes struggling a lot with the fact that his mom.doesnt know about the betrayal. he doesnt want to tell her because "its not his fathers pride at stake, its his mother's memory of him" and that makes me so . :(
- THE GREATS!!!!!!!! THE GREATS ARE HERE i love the greats. surely nothing bad is happening to them
- they have a couple theories as to whats going on with the greats:
-- condi: theyre in this state because vyncent took too long getting them back here out of his head
-- condi: they were killed when they got transported to the other world and there was no way to get them back completely
-- charlie: something happened in the time where vyncent was transported to prime and the greats had died, so someone did something to keep them alive by putting them in his head. maybe they could only be kept alive by being in vyncents head
- grizzly tries to insight check bizly irl to see if any of their theories are close so far. this does not work . he rolled a 17 btw
- none of them trust minerva they think she might be secretly working with the lich. bizly defends her by saying "shes also in the middle of basically an apocalypse i think shes allowed to be a little mean to you"
- le frog is the only french person ever. this is brought up with NO context no explanation
- bizly is sharing some of the thumbnail art from youtube because this was right around the time the first few episodes were being put up publically !! most of them are just the same as the official refs but the most important one is le frog bc im not actually sure if youve seen his offical design yet . also tide used to be white. we dont have to talk about white tide
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- bizly says pd feels more like a DC comic than a Marvel comic. hes right about this
- charlie starts talking about marissa meyer books and this is important 2 me because the lunar chronicles was an extremely formative piece of media for me . she apparently has a book called renegades thats superhero themed and i have not read it yet but i put it on my list specifically because of this. wahoo!
tgis is SUCH good trivia for this ep thank u dude... ouagh. really solid meal here. i love these last couple episodes so much.. there's so much fun stuff happening here i'm enjoying all of the greats stuff & getting like a solid Vyncent Moment for a while.
i LOVE the william pity points its great! it WAS cool as fuck!! also i gain +5 hp every time a gm goes "who give a shit if this isn't technically how the game mechanics should work, it's fun for everyone at the table & makes for something cool and makes sense narratively."
that being said. i DID take SO MUCH PSYCHIC DAMAGE from how long dakota spent hitting on his fucking mom. Please. Please king !!! sob.
I ALSO WAS EXPECTING THEM TO FIGHT VYN'S DAD???? still not unconvinced that some lich undead bullshit isn't going to happen with that. god i'm so invested in figuring out what HAPPENED there... i love this type of murder mystery situation. & i also was genuinely unsure if he would take the sword or not!! really kind of an ohhh shit! moment when he did. imo. vyncent virion sol i love u.... also it's still INCREDIBLY funny 2 me that he's still in his normal clothes. i have not forgotten that he is just doin his fantasy bullshit thing in the just some guy drip. (<- i might have forgotten something but i've been assuming they no longer have/wear Official Hero Drip since they're no longer really sanctioned or on great terms w/ them? also i've been assuming that the episode-specific clothes & shit isn't really permanent... now that im thinking about it though please tell me wiwi hardcore blue flame black leather kickass spiky biker jacket remains. it's too cool for him. but. still.)
I LOVE THE GREATS SO MUCH... i hope nothing permanently bad happens to them :( i like them so dearly..... you know they r really solid folks because they spent a YEAR and change living in a teenager's brain & came out of the experience still bein so nice 2 him.... augh. also in general big fan of the system-adjacent bullshit :] i love it when theres. guy with guys in his head. etc. will b sad ab their departure but i hope they r OKAY and return 2 Being Alive & shit!! nervous laughter. also god i can't wait to find out what Actually Happened with them. hhrhrghghgghh.
THIS IS SO TRUE ALSO???? free my girl minerva she did nothing but have Literally Normal Reactions to TERRIBLE things happening!!!
I DON'T LIKE THAT LEFROG FACT. it raises the question of is he actually even french or like, is there even a point of reference for his behavior. like. What is going on there. Horrifying thank you!!!! also man this entire degree im working on would be useless! well. maybe prime quebec exists. somehow. independently of a hypothetical europe. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN BTW. its so cute.. i WAS kind of imagining a mutant Big Real Fucking Frog situation but i think this is a lot more reasonable. also literally ignoring white tide I Do Not See it. It Does Not Exist.
ALSO. NOT GOING TO START TALKING AB COMICS FOR EVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS. BUT. he is so so so right. (<- dc comics guy with Opinions. well. technically im not even much of a dc guy im just a vertigo guy. but. still.) hghghghbhgh.
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star-sim · 1 month
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hiihii, 🦊 anon back here !! Im gon be info dumping u the shii cuz u said u were invested, but if u dont want to readall of it I completely understand cuz like I wrote a whole ass shii 😭😭
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okay so like there's thay copycat, let's call her P !! technically, she's been a friend since last year, but I didnt really consider her as one cuz she mostly talked with my other two friends from our closest friend group n like nobody else. (we're a group of five without her) She sorta randomly appeared, but I ofc didnt mind cuz its always nice to meet new ppl n make new friends yk ??
(extra thingy for this year => one friend changed schools to another city, another doesnt hang out with us anymore but does online, n then there's another who isnt in the same classes so we only see each other during breaks. so its just me n another friend, (let's call her F) she's has been my closest friend since years ago so far !!
Okayokay now on to the real shii; since the new school year, P asked the school if she could be in the same class as me and F (because we're always together). so practically, P is also my classmate now. BUT !! I've noticed she favours F more than me, which doesnt bother me much bc we all have preferences at some point 🤷‍♀️ HOWEVER its getting a bit uncomfy because she's slowly been like starting to copy me and seems to be trying to exclude me to get closer to F ever since school started
Im insecure about friendships, so I get jealous when I see F paying more attention to P than to me (at least Im self aware 😞) oh, abt the copying part, I have a list to explain omllll !! for instance, I have an online school timetable with a specific colour palette (we have our own from our school's app but I'd like to use my own [another one] cuz then its a widget) she saw it and asked about the app n then the next week, she did the same thing with the exact same colors for each subject ?? Its not a big deal, but its abs noticeable.. like I get it u wanna use the same app cuz Ik how handy it is but using the same colours is starting to become extra .. then theres the school stationary, especially the pencil case and highlighters. I have a clear see-through pencil case and pastel highlighters (so coquette) n after two months or somewhere around that, she got the same ones. AGAIN, not a huge deal, but then she started comparing highlighters and saying she should have bought the same ones as me (?? Girl tf) Its frustrating because she's indirectly indicating that she wants to be or have the same shii as me 😭 n I dont like that. Ik some ppl do but I jst dont
Another example is my headphones. I have specific ones (JBL I lub em sm), n in December or smth, she also got the same ones but in pink (I have black ones) Its not about the headphones themselves tho, but the fact that she claimed we have the same ones when they're CLEARLY different. It's a fcking pattern, even with little things like a pocket mirror that she suddenly wants after seeing mine ?? 😭 "oh, I want to have one too now n use it like u" *proceeds to buy n never use it anyways* 💀
oh oh, then theres the issue of her comparing grades (no like wtaf) my average is at least 70%, which Im abs content with, but I wish I had more motivation to study m improve 😞 ahe studies n has an average of 74%, which is great for her ofc !! but she constantly YAPS abt having higher grades n being smarter, not realizing the difference between being book-smart n actually intelligent like girl theres a diff between the 2 yk 😭😭
P is actually fcking starting to get on my nerves, especially after half a year of this bs .. the friend who changed schools was like the mother of the group, n I miss her a lot (she's coming back next year tho, yippie !!) P seems to be trying to exclude me from the friend group n from my bestie F :( I havent told anyone else cuz like Im afraid theyll jst think Im overreacting, but I did confide in T ( the transfer student friend, lets call her that !!), n shes on my side (duh ofc cuz she also noticed from last year how she only sticked to F) but I dont want to tell F herself cuz I dont think she'll believe me. I used to feel happy and comfy being myself before P joined in, but now I feel like Im constantly being criticized n copied :// Its even worse bc she made fun of my cat's name !! (Like, I told her my cat's name cuz at one point we were talking abt cats n I told her I had gotten a new one that summer. atm she was doing that gossip whisper thingy to somebody else n when I told her that she had to be honest and confess she was making fun of my cat's name she went like "ohhhh, for a cat name !! I thought a human name" n then fake smiles omfl ..)
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ANYWAYSSSS, TAKE CARE 😽 love ur fics Istg I dont think I'd survive here w/out ur writings Im not joking 😭 ur fics r like one of the only ones that I'd even WANT to read no matter the 10k+ wc (thats a lot for me n I prefer short ones, but ur longer ffs r like TOP TIER MWAH)
-🦊
oh girl ur stronger than me bc P would make me yell....
u and F are like for-lifers.... the friends that you keep when things change are the ones that you need to CHERISH FR
i think ur like 100% valid for the friendship jealousy, i get SO jealous too ur like real for that. like looking at these individual examples it doesn't come off that P is trying to copy you.... but when you look at it ALTOGETHER as ONE BIG MASSIVE PICTURE.... yikessss
i cant stand P sorry... like the excluding thing is making me seethe
AND THE CATS NAME THING WOULD BE MY FINAL STRAW GIRLLL STAY IN UR OWN LANE
i don't think ur overreacting, ur like 100% valid for this one
i am SO on your side
imo i think it's important to talk to F about this... and if she does not react well then drop her!!! if your best friend cannot take your feelings into consideration then that's not good!!
i'm glad that you like me fics btw!! it means a lot <3333
thanks for stopping by 🦊 anon!!! mwah mwah love you (and lmk if i need to air raid P)
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welcometomyoasis · 3 months
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-🌱
omg okay first of all im so sorry i spammed your inbox, second of all (😊) heres the link (ofc i wanna be moots!!!) https://www.tumblr.com/nonononranghaee/741224622870216704/met-the-other-half-fair-warning-shes-a-loser?source=share
(But i just wanna let you know that this is like a shared (?) account b/w me and like a friend (i write and she manages the account) and for some reason i can't send asks with this acc that aren't anonymous which is why i used this one😭. I had to beg her to send the photos because it just wasn't working. and omg lets be moots!!!)
Okay and third of all, i so agree with you. I totally believe that love did in fact exist once and i also have gone what i thought was a crush but in fact all i wanted was to be friends with the person. But i really dont believe it exists now. (This is ironic as im literally writing soulmate au fics right now) but yeah. I cant honestly say ive ever had a crush in my life. I told this to my friends and they were like what abt your parents? and the thing is i believe that they got married and then started to care for each other and become affectionate. I dont think they love each other, i do think they care for eachother. There are sm stories in my religion that show the love i believe in, like so many and idk i feel like of they existed 1400+ years ago they should exist now but they dont. And youre right, true love is like equal balance, its not one person being obsessed, its not both people not caring. Its equal. And youre so right abt the right person wrong time things but the thing is sometimes ppl find a really good person and then they cheat. idk i just really want to believe in love but i dont. its more like i believe in the idea of love, not its reality.
And again so sorry for the deep talks (idk what it is abt you shu you make it so easy to talk to you!) have the bestest day! and god help me because i managed to start soulmate au fic 2 but ive only done like 300 words. I cannot wait for the angst fics!!! also ly take care!! and sorry for the spam!
-🌱 (call me hafs if you want but being called 🌱 anon brings me sm memories, and is so so super adorable)
(my friend's a computer whizz so imma ask her to try and fix my tumblr so i can send you asks w/o being anonymous!!!)
first of all, don't worry about spamming my inbox! i'm sorry if i take longer to reply... also i just followed you <3 idk whether you can see it or follow me back? is that account a secondary one or a primary one because secondary accounts (or side blogs) can't send asks or follow people. but i'm just going to take it that we're moots okay 🤭 have a good day lovely! ly and take care too!
rest of my reply below the cut. warnings: cheating
soulmate aus are different, they are based on the idealised notion/ belief that there is someone out there who is fated to be with us. it's supposed to be an au for a reason so it's totally normal to write about it but not believe that true romantic love really exists.
of course, i totally agree with you that someone could find a really good person and then cheat. that's not right at all. in those cases, to me, it's that the cheater was taking their s/o for granted.
romantic love as a whole is just very very complicated. there are too many nuances and specificities in every single relationship's dynamics. i think it's totally normal and it's completely okay to not believe in romantic love. it's okay to question something which is romanticised (no pun intended) because of how reality plays out. it's normal to become disillusioned with what we've seen as we grow up. what is considered ideal or the perfect, true romantic love in our minds or even what is sold to us as true romantic love in tv shows, books etc., does not translate to reality, and that's just life? that said, personally, i still believe in the concept of love because there are so many different forms. familial love, self-love, platonic love etc. romantic love, i still hope to be able to have that one day, but for now, i think it's just a dream or delusion i tell myself...
seriously, you don't need to say sorry about all the deep talks haha. i actually love really deep talks and discussions like this. i could spend hours talking about these things.
aww thank you for saying that i'm easy to talk to, you're really easy and fun to talk to as well! and omg go you can do it! starting a fic/ any piece of writing is always the hardest part so good job for getting over that hurdle! i got to get some work done but i promise to check out the fic soon okay! i might reblog from my side blog @\hansooasis if i'm not online here!
also just putting it out there, you can send me asks or dms, i really don't mind either way. but if you do dm me, maybe dm me from my side blog? it's linked to my phone so i actually check it more haha.
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jacenwinditup · 9 months
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spare blog bc yall are way too much n this has gotten really out of hand over a "joke ship" cuz if that was all the one sentence post shouldnt bother you. it didnt mention anyone bc it was a very literal comment on a very real fandom trend. maybe cuz im autistic too but literally not angry or different from commenting on the daily blogs or damn whats a splip. all that person said was "why are we shipping shin with his schizophrenia demon" n added the tags "it's fucking weird"
but since its makin people feel attacked, lets take this apart. itss a general fandom statement ("why are we doing this") and partially a joke since ur obviously not meant to take "schizophrenia demon" seriously, n i assume since one of this user's friends(?? i forgot to ask) spam rb it, they thought it was clear. even tho it was a neutral exasperated statement, the tags added the "reason" why the post was made (which a lot of autistics do cuz our emotions have to be justified by neurotypicals esp when we meltdown or have discomforts with specific sounds) was assumably bc personal squick
if u look in the notes there are 2 additions that are concisely saying "shadow sou is manifestation of trauma" (true for schizophrenia and system hc) and "it's incredibly inappropriate to treat his hallucination like this even if ur joking" also true, n im gonna go one step further bc i actually messaged this person instead of doing the hypocritical thing (u say this person "attacks a joke" n tags it, meanwhile u attack this person in the main tags meaning it takes up everythingggg. over one sentence!)
this user clarified in priv dms "i honestly don't mind *any* joke ships on their own, it's just. concerning as an overall fandom trend of only ever treating hallucinations lightly or inaccurately - though i didn’t realize people would latch onto this, otherwise i would've clarified the actual issue sooner" n went on to point at specific times people shared unintentionally triggering content like they're jokes for yttd n other fandoms, n pointed out the issue that if you critique in detail that people usually try to trigger you assuming ur also psychotic (which can be upsetting even if ur not), and said that apprehension was why they didnt make any long post on it and only replied to friends' comments on the post
n look, they didn't want me to say this, but im not gonna be polite i think some of u need a wake up call bc guess what!! they already got triggering unreality comments + a sinophobic comment bc some full ass adults felt personally attacked n went overboard by one stupid post, generating enough attention for harassment and misgendering. ur all acting way too fucking immature and some teenager pointing out "shipping some guy with his hallucination is a weird joke" Is NOT the hill id die on.. n to be clear i also thought the post was a little weird at first, bc it was talking abt a joke but the phrasing was formal (tho hindsight 20/20 thats also usually a nd thing), but you either move on with ur day or u think it like "huh maybe it is weird" and then move on with ur day. but then its blown completely out of proportion like yall are obsessed. if this user's concerns are a nonissue (which the ship thing meh probably not, but treatment of hallucinations is a issue) then ur absolutely getting mean + antsy over nothing. 1 post compared to countless posts you use to vague this person and basically lie abt what they actually said w/o thinking or trying to contact them first. instead ur doing the same thing ur criticizing urself fillin up tags attacking 1 person like damn if u think it was an issue just block n move on jfc
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flower0man · 2 years
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Do people actually hate a character in The Quarry?? The counselors specifically?????
For starters, I like the ups and downs of each character (contains spoilers):
Emma; she is a character who's confident of herself, a sassy character too. She should get it straight with Jacob and not play with him like a toy but I see this action as a way to test him, a test of which he actually moved on with her or not, same with Abi to see if she made her move with Nick. Talking about the 'making out with Nick' situation, she does realize that she had gone too far (as far as I heard, reblog if I'm wrong about this.) and of course you can't expect any of our characters to be perfect, that is not realistic at all. She's a people pleaser too, a trope that wants other people to be happy no matter what, and prolly just does it because she hates seeing people sad like she said or maybe she needs to clear her mind. And I also fucking hate the fact that the game tricks me into thinking that Abi and Emma were together smh--
Jacob; the stereotypical tough guy ig?? Dunno man, least favorite ig but its clear that he has some self-esteem isues. Buttt... I do like how he acts friendly to other counselors so if anything he's just a flawless character. My word of advice to him? Move on, she makes it clear to you that she doesn't like you at all. She is fine on her own, respect her wishes please? But hey, you're alright for my standards. You better not take another car part again tho, I don't trust you on driving anymore.
Kaitlyn; a character, very cool character. I love how she's brave and responsible on dire situations. Wish they have more things to do with her. :( (Also single for lifeee girlll!!! Its ok if you want a thresome tho 😏)
I am pretty tired to write the other characters (and tf why is Emma's explanation so long I swear I just see hate abt her im sorrryyy-) so uh i'll prolly write the rest of the counselors and hacketts and all of that shit tmrrw.
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Part 2:
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wonderloste · 2 years
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hi my love. i bring gifts. ♥, ♢, ✂, ❣
gather around the campfire for story time meme.
i’ll do the first one last cuz u know what the story is lol but
♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz. sb who is long, long gone once stole my entire character when i was on my old blog JHBENGJHN right down to his character design and aspects of who he was and i know this bc it was an oc i had that was like drastically different than the canon character he was born from, so my portrayal was like... really really specific. i never confronted them or anything bc i didn’t rlly care enough to, but i still remember it being funny kinda cuz they took my black muse and made him a psd that turned him orange. ORANGE. 😭😭 IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO MAKE PSDS FOR BLACK CHARACTERS Y’ALL IT’S JUST NOT KJENRHMKJM PLEASE. anw they kinda just ended up fading away so there was no altercation or anything. they tried 2 blame me for getting anon hate once that was like “you stole UNiCoRN’S cHArACtErrr” but one of their friends outed them for sending it to themselves. 🤡
✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting? i don’t have much to say on this one, but probably the p*rsona fandom. i’ve met a lot of really really nice and chill people who rp in that fandom and i think i’ve heard it’s gotten better? but man the p*rsona fandom and the d*ng*nr*npa fandom back in the day were hand in hand with each other. it was always something.
❣ How salty are you feeling right now? honestly not that salty. i know i have some wild stories, but i need to stress that i’ve moved on from p much everything i talk about KJNERHKJNM. for most of this it has ACTUALLY been years. this is stuff that happened when i was much younger and put much more stock in my emotions on tumblr. i’m fine now. it’s all a little funny to me, aside from, like, the horrific stuff which isn’t funny but sure is a story to tell.
under the cut,
♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise? - oh god another one i- JKNMHKJNM how quickly can i summarize That One debacle. there was sb on tumblr i was friends with for a while in a small rpc who sent me homophobic news articles one night when i was sui*cidal due to some unfortunate politics tm happening at the time and so as u remember the entire small little community ended up cutting her off after that cuz wtf. found out she’d been pretending to be her own friend on another blog where she sent us harassing msgs about whatever after she got blocked. vagued us in her rules when she moved to other blogs but still passive aggressively followed & unfollowed us, sent us msgs, etc. yada yada w/e we all moved on but then a year or two later??? she popped up in another fandom and got anon hate abt whitewashing her black muse. blamed me for it & said my friends and i sent it (we did not, the person who sent it ended up taking responsibility) but not before starting a HUGE, HUGE public fight on our dashboards where she was literally @’ing us in posts and vice versa. unblocked her so she could come to my ims instead, immediately started crytyping and gaslighting me. closed my ims bc i decided actually i’d rather fight on the dash KJBNERKGJNM 😭😭 ended up having to write a callout that exposed all the times she’d been racist, homophobic, transphobic, + harassing/gaslighting us in ims and posts even after we’d all quietly blocked her and tried to move on. to this day i still think abt all the shit we had saved up over the year(s) proving everything and she still went off about us being the ones who were trying to defame her and harass her or whatever. that day made me feel like i was out of my mind. if you knew me back then on that blog and saw all of that i am so sorry, i put up with so much before it reached that point aaaaaaaaaa. i wish i’d handled it better but honestly i was still a teenager when it started n a young adult when it blew up and this grown ass (almost 30 yo??? iirc??) racist homophobe was coming for my throat i just didn’t know what to do kjnmhkhn feel bad for ppl who witnessed it. feel even worse for myself cuz i could’ve handled it in a way that hurt me less. the Trauma that experience gave me good lord.
NOT related to that ^ but more lighthearted, one time this person i was chill with messaged my literal closest friend at the time on this site and shit talked me to her. she proceeded to inform me of it bc we were like. very publicly good friends. idk what they were expecting. they got mad bc she “chose” me over them. it was so weird. and very funny kjnMKJNEMRHKJM
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wickedpact · 4 years
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dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)
Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact
background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare
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my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)
long post under cut
A. The Description Matches
when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”
As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:
  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married
it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)
Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?
(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)
Like.
1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and
2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:
  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)
shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses
So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,
(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)
He then goes on to say
And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:
(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))
So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that
That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.
shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.
(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)
(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)
Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says
Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.
(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)
[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]
And then another example in #86
Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?
Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?
(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)
Which brings me to,
  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth
shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:
Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;
(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)
Which again brings me to,
  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:
1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,
For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 
(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)
so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:
2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,
For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.
which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’
and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.
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  F. The last One
Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,
O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 
(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)
The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.
TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise
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makiema · 3 years
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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀
my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:
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here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 
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Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.
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 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :
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is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.
now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:
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and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:
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chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:
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and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 
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these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 
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this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 
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not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 
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i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  
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what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 
this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 
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so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 
mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 
and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 
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in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:
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dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 
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1990jeevas · 3 years
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I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D
hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)
tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings
also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol
so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:
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like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.
so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.
theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.
mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.
this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.
moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)
so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...
nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)
lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)
won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)
been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)
was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?
"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)
my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.
moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!
speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol
now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends
Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know
bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.
people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.
anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol
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wrongwaterbicycle · 3 years
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Hi! Fav moments from each member of the gang? (Here from your analysis- you hurt me in a good way)
u've opened a can of worms anon bc im fully abt to give u five moments for each and an additional 5 Group Moments. this was hard to narrow down and there is so much sunny that i def left some gems out but thank u for giving me smth fun to do lmao. in no particular order bc im not THAT strong.
this is an extremely long post.
DENNIS-
in high school reunion when he's wandering through the gymnasium just shouting at nothing in particular bc hes still making his dramatic exit but has run out of things to say
the scene where he's trying to flirt with that girl by telling her abt how his sister farts a lot and he like cant figure out why it isn't working
"superman? oh, cool, well he was the original."
his face when opening the rpg. the way he hides behind it so no one else can see him but mac. thats good shit.
BOYS ARE OUT TONIGHT, HUH
DEE
everything she does in mac and dennis manhunters. every single thing.
the way she just unhinges her jaw and screams at the top of her lungs when shes talking about lighting that girl on fire in college
when she pushes the flight attendant away w her foot in gang beats boggs
"JUST GET IN THE GODDAMNED CAR YOU FAT FAT ASS FAT FAT ASS"
this
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MAC
his dance in mfhp. nothing is better than that.
"GOD DAMN IT, I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MYSELF UNLESS THROUGH ANGER AND PERSONAL ATTACK!"
i'm pretty sure charlie (macsboys) pointed this out in a tag but i have never stopped noticing it- every time the gang has a chugging contest in the history of the show mac loses. what a baby man i adore him.
his whole speech to god in goes to hell. like even in what he thinks is a seriously important moment he is a Straight Up Fool, talking to god abt song and dance and shit.
every interaction he has with either of his parents on the show but most specifically the dynamic with him and mrs. mac, like when he tells charlie about how she leaves a cigarette burning outside the church he sounds about 8 years old.
CHARLIE
chicken sandwich no beak..... no beak i love him sm
all of his songs. how do i narrow down charlies songs??? you cant. i can't. no one can.
instead of just saying like hes thinking out loud or having Thoughts or whatever when mac and dennis ask him why he's talking to himself in spies like U.S. he ??? makes up that story abt a spider living in his ear and sending him his thoughts????? his fucking mind.
how can i neglect to mention WILDCARD BITCHES YEEEEEHAW
"great, i was hoping you'd say that. let's kill ourselves."
FRANK
the couch is his most iconic moment so it's going first, i don't care if that's overdone tell me you didn't nearly choke to death laughing the first time you saw it
the entirety of the ongo gablogian bit
his ferry tour ???? when he says the schuylkill river is full of strange creatures and dead bodies ????? like he isn't wrong
the go for it song!!! ever since that post about it recently i've been noticing it pop up in other episodes and i never realised how often frank is just.... go for it go for it go.... go for it go for it go..... the most obvious one is in PR nightmare i think bc it's the FIRST thing that happens in the cold open
"YA UNZIPPED ME! IT'S ALL COMIN BACK YA UNDERSTAND?! IT'S ALL COMIN BACK!"
okay and honourable mentions of Group Moments
the end of the gang escapes 🥺 theres no fakeout dee just. gets the steak. she gets to bite the steak first. i love episodes that end on a gang vs. the world note.
"the bar is where we belong, we can hide from the world at the bar!" gets me every time. like it sure is charlie.
dee and frank teamup episodes are always fun to me idk, any time frank has ever said "that's my girl" on the show i cried. but also it does very much make me realise he's never had one of those moments with dennis. let's just stop thinking abt that for now-
hucking rocks at trains 💕💞💓💖💕💞💕💓💕💖
OBVIOUSLY i have to mention near the end of goes to hell pt.2 where they all hold hands, accept death as long as it comes while they're together, and then physically fight each other to get to safety when they realise there's a way out. if that's not their whole group dynamic idk what is.
thank u sm anon and if you made it to the end of this post your reward is u get to watch charlie's butt dance. which also is one of my fav gang moments.
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homieswithhades · 3 years
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you're one of the few i follow who talks about bucky and so here i am once again in your inbox because the whole way the MCU has approached bucky is just not it. you know? they wrote themselves in a hole. they don't know how to respond exactly with his popularity as a character and no homo'd his most important relationship so hard they're two dudes chilling in two different timelines because it's not gay. the whole 'made amends' thing is just wrong and terrible. bucky didn't do anything wrong! hydra did. hydra used him and yet the narrative has placed it on his shoulders. i enjoyed tfatws but i think there were quite a few odd character writing choices.
hiya !! lovely 2 see u in my inbox again <33
(two bros chilling in 2 different timelines cos theyre not gay killed me bdw)
oh 100% bucky has been mishandled by marvel, i wanna say since the very end of cacw. catfa bucky was splendid and amazingly written, super in character, like That's My Bucky.
catws bucky was obviously brainwashed but (even tho the russos had their grimy little hands on this one) again, amazingly written and handled esp thanks to seb.
it starts to go a little awry at the end of cacw. it was fine when bucky said "i dont know if im worth all this steve" nd steve replies "what you did all those years, it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice" bc this. THIS was the perfect way to be handling buckys trauma. and steve was the ONLY person who could do that. im sorry, but not even sam, whos a licenced councellor, could do that for bucky. the first red flag was before bucky went into cryo and NONE of his fears/feelings were dealt w beforehand. he just goes "i cant trust my own mind" and yoink into the freezer he goes! cacw wasnt terrible w handling bucky, but it did waste a lot of potential with discussing and exploring his character and what he went through. probably bc wuhhh a man cant have FEELINGS and GOD FORBID he show and express them in a HEALTHY WAY in a superhero movie !! (that should have been averngers: civil war, bdw. marvel u actually owe us ca:serpent society)
black panther end credits. what the fuck. is all im gonna say. russos overdosed on how can we make this guys "road to recovery" LOOK like its going like pure shit but not explain why, how, when, who and where.
infinity was a sorta a fucking joke iwel. there were some good parts like the steve and bucky reunion eg. "not bad, for the end of the world" (gives me catfa vibes 😭) and "steve?" being the last words bucky said before being dusted, ik bucky wasnt supposed 2 be the focus in this movie but the fact that they made him fight again after he was supposedly "cured" (see: "semi-stable 100 year old man") was cruel and lacked the exploration it needed to justify it.
endgame is self explanatory. shit movie all-round, pain for everybody in the audience!! it was more of a mishandling of steve rather than bucky, but if we're talking abt bucky specifically, he was more neglected than mishandled. not being bothered to do his metal arm? not showing us the convo he supposedly had with steve before he left? not showing us his reaction to steves joe biden cosplay? horrible. terrible, couldn't have gone worse. once again, seb did ALL the heavy lifting. he is 99% of buckys character.
all of this doesn't even take into account steve and buckys relationship. they are the absolute focal points of each other’s characters, and it was all not just swept under the rug, but the floor was then set on fire, the room burnt to a crisp, the house demolished and then launched into oblivion.
and now to adress what u actually asked, tfatws. i also enjoyed it, but that doesnt mean i think PERSONALLY that it was well written (and thats okay). i do understand it was supposed to deal w sam more than bucky, which it did, but if im being brutally honest, tfatws bucky didnt.... feel like bucky..... which isnt to say seb didnt do a good job, bc he carried what was left of buckys character from the writing, but it was like watching the wrong shoe being put on the correct foot, if that makes sense. bucky was treated like the bad guy, stoic and pissy. "guy with a staring problem", comic fucking relief. govt mandated therapy, constant dismissal, and being thrown back into a fights without it being acknowledged why first. i have no issue w characters who want to keep fighting regardless of trauma (see: john watson) but they NEED the verbal acknowledgement AND the right support system for that plot to be acceptable and sustainable. tfatws did none of that. they reduced bucky to Cap's sidekick again (even tho he wasnt steves sidekick, it feels like he is sams imo pls dont kill me 😭). none of what should have been dealt with was dealt with, because marvel tried to solve literally global, macro-scale problems without even acknowledging the ones at home.
as sweet and technically good the ending of tfatws was, it was badly writtten, at least for bucky. marvel will never climb out of the hole, to use your words, they wrote themselves into, because of 1) the thanos storyline, snap and blip (what the fuck marvel, genuinely) 2) timeline bullshit and 3) steve leaving.
its almost like his actual character development was put on hold for tfatws. it'll be forever up in the air, with no real closure, unless everything and more that i talked about is mentioned. he'll never have the ending he actually deserves.
please do remember, characters are supposed to have arcs, not 90 degree descents into the fucking ground.
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