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writingquestionsanswered · 10 months

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i’m not sure if this is something you can help with but i wondered if you had any advice for me,

basically whenever i try to write recently, i get somewhere between 50 to 1000 words in (which really isnt much by my standards) before i start to get extremely tired? i’m not sure why, and i am struggling to write because i just get exhausted instantly

Becoming Exhausted When Writing

It's really not uncommon for writers to experience physical exhaustion when writing--sometimes after only a short period of time. Here are some of the reasons this happens and some tips for how to deal with it. :)

1 - Mental Exhaustion = Physical Exhaustion - The brain is an organ, not a muscle, but it behaves a lot like a muscle in that it gets stronger with "exercise" and can become fatigued with overuse. Writing is kind of like doing a cardio session for your brain. The creative load requires your brain to work really hard and expend a lot of energy, so the bigger that creative load, the faster you're going to feel tired. If you think of unwritten stories as untamed jungles, some writers can be plunked into the middle of the thick vegetation, without a map or resources, and machete a straight path back to civilization. Many of us can't do that, though. We machete circles through the jungle, lost and bewildered, hungry and dehydrated, exhausted and mosquito-bitten--and that's exhausting. So, if you find yourself becoming quickly exhausted when you sit down to write, it's worth considering how much of a creative load you're putting on your brain. If it's not an issue of what to write and where the story is going, something else is going on. For example, if you've had a taxing brain day before you even sit down to write, your remaining energy will vanish fast. But, if you find yourself wandering in circles through your story, you may just need to do some better planning. Having a "map" through your story and heading into the story jungle with resources ready can make a big difference.

2 - Actual Physical Exhaustion - Sometimes the problem isn't with our brains but with our bodies. Lack of sleep, health issues, busy days, mild dehydration, and life stress are all things that can contribute to physical exhaustion that makes us feel sleepy when we write. Some solutions: make sure you get enough sleep or try taking a power nap before you write. Exercise or taking a walk before you write can give you an energy boost, too. Drink some water, coffee, or an energizing smoothie before you write. If you're under life stress, try meditating or taking a refreshing shower before you write.

3 - Creative Stress - Millions of years of evolution have led our brains to be wired to avoid things that are stressful because they might be dangerous. Originally, this was to help us stay physically safe. If you knew there might be lions down a particular path, the thought of going down that path would be stressful, so your brain would say, "Nope, don't go that way." It works the same way with writing. If writing feels stressful to you--maybe because you're not sure what to write or are giving yourself a hard time about not making word counts or deadlines--your brain perceives writing as a threat and says, "Nope, don't go that way." This causes your "fight or flight" response to kick in when you start writing. That might manifest as your inner critic, distracting yourself, or experiencing writer's block. Pushing forward anyway can create even more stress, and that's when you start to feel exhausted. The best way to deal with this is to make writing as stress-free as you possibly can so your brain doesn't perceive it as a threat. Make sure you know where your story is going and what you need to write during each writing session, whether that means just thinking about it ahead of time or planning it out. Don't give yourself a hard time for not meeting word counts or deadlines, and don't even strive toward those (unless you have to) if they cause you undue stress. Instead, try setting small, attainable goals and reward yourself for reaching them. For example, instead of trying trying to hit a particular word count, try to write for ten minutes each day. If that's not a problem, go for twenty and so on. Set your goal just a few minutes above what you know you can hit. Then, raise it accordingly. Also, try setting up a writing routine and making sure you have a comfortable, inviting place to write if possible. Taking a walk, shower, or meditating before you write can help here, too.

I hope that helps! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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mossfvcker · 4 months

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this is a personal post about my otherkin life that if possible i would like some tips or advice on what to do

i feel very frustrated I don't have a good time being otherkin. I love the community and I love being proud of being a dragon. this is not a community related post. I'm talking about the specific experience of being psychological otherkin. I'm not spiritual. I'm not mystical. i don't have a name or a language. I wish i had these things. I have a shape and I have glimpses through different eyes and i have the worst thing of all. the dragon brain. the animal panic of being in the wrong form. the white hot panic of a wild fucking repltile stuck in a life it doesn't understand.

i feel truly like I am stuck with a dragon brain sofware running on human hardware. I think my brain wiring is messed up somewhere and it gives me the phantom limbs and the animal reactions. I have such strong instincts that I have to surpress all the time. I don't know what to do. And it's not like I can't suppress them, I can do it so much in fact it's incredibly hard to let loose. i had to leave a vc with another dragon who was feeling shifty because I didn't want to feel that way myself, and I had to exit the situation.. and I feel really fucking terrible about it. I don't want to make others uncomfortable by me not wanting to experience what they aee as enjoyable. I wish desperately that it was enjoyable. I feel almost alone in my experience of being a psychological otherkin.

I want a human life and I don't want to have to feel like a stuck animal in a trap anymore. I just want to live the nice human life I have set up for myself. but I fucking can't do it. but I can't stop being a person. every time I feel shifty it gives me an overload that freezes and locks my muscles so I don't act like an animal. I know it's this mental block desperately hating having these otherkin feelings and not wanting to act on them and truly supressing myself but what else am I supposed to do? I don't want to act like a dragon around people. it makes me sick to do that. it makes me sick to want to do that even because I know what it will cost me socially and financially to live a life that I think would make the dragon part of me happy. and I can't do it. and it's not about even being otherkin and the stigma against that, I am happy and proud to be a draconic otherkin. I don't want to be a dragon. even if someone understands what otherkin is. i still don't want to be recognized as a dragon because of all the years i have spent building a perfect mirrored dome of personalities to shine back at whoever is talking to me and the dragon is none of them. the dragon is a fucking shit for brains animal i have to control and manage. I dispise feeling this half dragon half human way. I need to be fully one or the other. other dragons are smart and talk and think and they have lives and everything and mine is like a rock wall. it doesn't have emotions beyond the hunting and the killing and the hunting and the killing and the protect my area and the hot thermals on the wind and a riverbed. there are no complete sentences in my dragon brain. the thoughts are alien and different than human thoughts. they are low level, concerned with nice dark hole and warm rock and shallow river and eat carcass and flap wings and dig your nails into the soft wet sandstone wall that crumbles brneath my feet and open your wings and ride the thunderstorm and kill and eat and stay perfectly still and strike. they're completely different than how other dragons experience it, they seem able to interpret and learn things about themselves through spiritual approaches, but I can't. I feel like I am stuck and I can't share it with anyone . other dragons don't get it and I don't know what the fuck to do? this isnt fun. this sucks

#dragonkin #otherkin #therianthropy #alterhuman #draconic #personal post

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sandwichfordinner · 2 years

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can I request Norton, Luca, Edgar, and Naib (if it's too much you can deduct anyone just not Norton pls :,) with an s/o who kind of hides her emotions with a joking mask and bottles up her emotions? Like say she fails a calibration when coding with them and she mentally scolds herself then just laughs it off as if shes not degrading herself mentally. So like one day in a match when y/n gets downed and it's her last chair, she just sorta let's her frustration out (i mean like kicking, punching, and pulling Antonio's hair.. #saveantonio2022) while she sobbing her eyes out. Like homegirl doesnt even realize that she broke free from the balloon kind of sobbing her eyes out 😭

sorry if this is too specific or doesnt make sense :( english isnt my first language so I heavily apologize

ଘ♡﹒ॱ˖ ﹆i am so sorry but I couldn’t make naib cause it was too much for me I’m sorry again , I am happy that someone requested for Edgar since no one writes for him atm.

ଘ♡﹒ॱ˖ ﹆ But please take a note everyone: I need to know if the characters are separated or not, and I need to know if it’s an one shot or scenarios . Please keep that in mind because if this happens again , I have to ignore the request. But if you saw your mistake you can ask again but this time of the characters are together or separated, oneshot or scenarios. Thank you for your attention!!

Tw for the Edgar part: reader having a breakdown Oh and also! I made 3 different y/n if that’s okay! AND! I wanted to draw you guys something too becuase i havent posted a fic in months plus i passed my exam!! (shoutout to the person in my inbox that said gl in school , ily and tysm)

Norton, Luca and Edgar with a FEM!! s/o that bottles up her emotions

Norton

You are decoding in arms factory. It isn’t that cold nor that hot outside. But it’s always foggy. You didn’t really liked it because there was a lot of dust and you sneeze sometimes out of the blue.

As you are trying to focus on the 3rd cipher, one popped meaning that there are 2 ciphers remaining. You were looking from time to time around you if the hunter is coming but no sign. You sighed nervously but as you got distracted you missed a calibration. When survivors miss a calibrations the machine shocks you , which you hiss in pain. It hurts your hands for 10 seconds but the pain doesn’t last forever. You got frustrated from the pain in your hands , holding them shaking.

,,I HATE YOU I HATE YOU STUPID MACHINE’’ you kicked the machine hard enough to send another shock to your leg. You fell backwards and started tearing up. ,,WHY MEE!!’’ You screamed.

Your heartbeat started to raise, meaning that the hunter is near.

You stopped moving as you realised what did you do. It was like the colour of your skin colour fell (like in the cartoons, by the way I don’t want to sound racist, please type down in the chat if it made you guys uncomfortable, I will immediately delete it). If you didn’t make a circus it wouldn’t have happened.

,,I am such a fool, I am such a fool…’’ you were muttering under your breath as you got up.

,,The hunter is near me!’’ You screamed while trying to kite The Violinist.

It’s been a minute since you kited Antonio. But you got hit when you dropped a pallet. One more hit an you’re down.

After 10 seconds you got downed again,

Cipher Machine Progress: 67% 1 cipher(s) left.

The cipher has reached the half of the decoding which is good.

Still trying to heal on the floor ,Antonio tied you in balloons. You started struggling aggressively, screaming, crying , trying to hit Antonio. You pulled his hair which he groaned in pain and dropped you on the floor.

A magnet was thrown in front of Antonio.

‘Oh for-’ Antonio said to himself before getting stunned at a object.

He got stunned for 3-4 seconds until started chasing you again, you were sobbing .

,,Cipher machine primed!!!’’

,,Holy moly Y/N are you okay. What was that from you..?? You aren’t like that!!’’ Norton asked body blocking you, then threw a magnet again at the hunter to keep some distance. He accidentally used the magnet that attaches you and he got hit.

He groaned in pain.

,,I’m sorry’’

You were with watery eyes , and embarrassed.

You started to hiccup while running.

You tripped and fell on your face.

,,Focus in decoding!!!’’ Screamed Norton on top of his lungs.

The alarm went on signalling that the gates can be opened. The sound of the alarms startled you, you quickly got up furiously and started running. Norton stopped bodyblocking you and went to the opposite way where the other gate was, muttering guilty ‘sorry..’ . He couldn’t help you because he was out of magnets.

Still running for your life you couldn’t even tell your teammates that Antonio had detention.

He hit you really hard on the head.

,,Owwww’’ you cried in pain.

Antonio tied you , and placed you on a rocket chair aggressively. You could’ve tell that he was really mad at you,

He used teleport and hit Norton right away, leaving Martha to run away.

She ran to the other side of the map and rescued you.

She grabbed your shaky hand and went to the gate.

,,Jesus Y/N what were those screams.’’

She asked.

Your cheeks went red from embarrassment.

,,I uhm.. I don’t know…’’ you couldn’t really speak, because of those screams you let out.

,,Uh huh.. whatever let’s get out of here , he’s coming’’

You both got out leaving you with a tie.

Antonio walked out silent. Oh he was mad.

Suddenly big and strong hands wrapped around you.

,,Y/N!! What happened love? You didn’t answer while I was body blocking you!’’

It was Norton.

You blushed.

,,I .. uhh. I can’t talk right now.. I feel like I have no voice..’’

You tried to talk but you whispered, soon you relaxed in his arms.

He stared you while he was hugging you and chuckled.

,,Okay you will explain to me later, alright?’’ You nodded.

He chuckled again and kissed you on the forehead.

Luca

Luca was humming while working on his new invention. He was focused , until the machine exploded in his face , leaving black dust on his face.. O shit the wall.. There was dust everywhere. Luca started coughing , got up quickly from his seat and opened the windows still coughing. From the manor you could see a black dust getting out of Lucas window. Naib went inside the room without knocking.

,,What happened???????’’ He shouted.

,,Calm down Naib, my machine exploded.’’

Naib sighed annoyed.

,,If it exploded, your face could’ve burned by now.’’

Luca shrugged.

,,I dunno , guess I am lucky this time’’

Naib glared at him.

,,Next time be careful’’ Then he slammed the door shut. One of the vases Luca had on the counter slipped from Naib closing the door aggressively and broke into pieces.

,,Oh come on…’’ Luca groaned in annoyance. He got up and started picking the pieces carefully. But he remembered that he was with gloves so he gathered them into a handful and threw them into the bin in the corner of his room. He then remembered about his little machine and took a look of it.

It was completely shattered and dusty.

He groaned. This was the 2nd time now happening.

As he got up again from his seat ,he felt his body weak . Everything went black for a few seconds until everything was back to normal. He felt his head in pain too.

Low iron.

,,Uhhh….’’ He groaned.

He got out of his room and headed downstairs.

,,I’m sorry..’’

Luca stopped walking and peeked to see what was happening.

,,I DONT CARE IF YOURE HURT, I AM SICK YOU DOING THIS OVER AND OVER WOODS , LEAVE ME ALONE.’’

,,Please Y/N calm down! I don’t want the whole manor to hear you yelling…’’

,,OH YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?? YOU WONT STOP BLABBING THE SAME THING SINCE I GOT HERE’’

,,What is going on??’’ Ada came to break the drama.

,,None of your business Mesmer.’’ Then Y/N walked away sobbing.

,,Wow.’’ Luca muttered under his breath.

,,Oh you’re here to hear what’s going on too?’’ Mike appeared behind him, startling him.

,,Oh jeez Michael you scared me..’’ Luca called his name mockingly.

Mike rolled his eyes in annoyance.

,,Whatever.’’ He was about to leave until Luca asked him.

,,Uh Mike question. Why was Y/N so mad?’’

He blinked a few times processing the question in his head.

,,….Oh that uhh.. Honestly I don’t know, but I have heard rumours from Emily that Emma acts a bit uhm.. How do I say this… weird..?..’’

,,Huh but isn’t Emma one of the happiest and cheerful here?’’

,,Yeah yeah but , as much as I heard about her. She’s just a weird fella you know?’’

Luca stayed silent.

,,She kind of … has an obsession.’’

,,Oh’’ Luca muttered.

,,Yeah…. Well uhh see you around.’’

Then Mike left.

,,Obsession..?’’

Luca walked upstairs and went to his room.

,,If it’s really an obsession then I really feel bad for Y/N..’’ he looked around his room sadly , talking to himself.

Hours have passed and Luca got out of his room again with a tired gaze.

,,Wait why am I out..??…… Oh yeah!’’

He walked downstairs and went to the kitchen to grab some food. As he did that he went to the table and sat with the others to eat.

As he was eating he saw Y/N , looking at her plate blankly. She had bags under her eyes.

Luca felt guilty.

He ate quickly his meal , got up from his seat and went to the little kitchen the manor shared , to wash his plate.

After that he went to Y/N seat.

,,Meet me outside when you’re finished eating’’ Luca said grinning.

You gave him a confused look still trying to process what he said.

You ate one more bite quickly and went to the kitchen to wash your plate.

You got out to the manors yard. It was a little cold but it was still nice. There were few people outside which you didn’t mind.

From afar you could see Luca, and Emma…

Your eyes widened when you saw her and hid behind the grave keeper quickly. He flinched and looked back at you confused and nervous as always.

,,Erm miss Y/N..? What are you doing.?

,,Andrew please do me a favour. Can I stay behind you please?’’ She said nervously.

He looked at you confused but nodded and got back to digging some eaten flowers by bugs.

Luca saw you hiding behind Andrew , him giving him a weird look.

Luca got the message quickly when he saw Emma waiting.

He approached her.

,,Hello Emma, waiting for someone?’’

She looked at him and smiled nervously.

,,Yeah uhm.. I am waiting for someone..’’

,,Who?’’

,,…. Y/N…’’

‘Aha’

,,I think that she went up to her room , why are you waiting for her to appear?’’

,,I have to tell her something..’’ she was playing with her gloves.

,,Huh but I think that Emily wants to tell you something, she told me to meet her after dinner, why won’t you check on her?’’ Luca said smiling.

,,Emily?! My angel! Thank you Luca!’’ She ran off.

Luca sighed and looked at Andrew nodding his head to tell him that everything is okay.

Andrew looked back at you.

You were shaking.

,,Um…. Y/N..? I-I think that nothing bad is going to happen..’’

You were looking around the garden and sighed in relief that Woods wasn’t here.

Then you looked at Luca waiting for you.

,,Thank you Andrew so much, and I am sorry for the discomfort I caused you.’’

You spoke embarrassed.

Andrew muttered a ‘no problem’ and got back to work.

You walked when Luca was and greeted him.

,,Hey Luca , you wanted to meet here , correct?’’

He nodded shyly.

,,Yeah..’’

,,Is there something we need to talk..?’’ You asked him tiredly.

,,I umm,. Uh… Please don’t get mad at me I heard you arguing with Emma and-‘’

,,You did????’’ Your eyes widened and your cheeks started to heat up from embarrassment.

,,Yeah but don’t worry about that.. I umm.. I know that this sounds stupid but I felt bad for you and I wanted the two of us to talk what’s bothering you.. Do you bottle up your emotions? Cause I see you mostly calm and today I was shocked’’ He chuckled awkwardly

,,…. I.. don’t really know..’’ you said quietly.

‘I messed that up didn’t i.’ He thought.

,,It’s just that Emma makes me uncomfortable.. She says weird stuff , like how we will be together forever , that she won’t leave my sight.. i thought it was normal and supportive, but this continued for 2 years and I am sick of her saying the same things over and over again.. it’s … weird. You just have to do something about it.. you can’t just keep your mouth shut..’’

Luca nodded , listening to you very carefully.

,,I am so sorry for today..’’ you chuckled tiredly.

Luca hugged you.

You flinched at his touch but relaxed, it was like you were protected.. You felt.. safe..

,,Don’t worry, from now on i will make sure Emma isn’t bothering you, alright?’’ He said softly, and smiled.

You nodded and smiled back.

Your body relaxed in his arms.

,,Thank you Luca’’ you blushed.

Edgar

You were walking fast to your room , but accidentally bumped into someone.

,,I am so sorry!!.. Oh Edgar my apologies!’’ You said nervously.

He scoffed at you.

,,Watch where are you going.’’

Then he left, walking downstairs.

He didn’t even offer you a hand? How rude of him! You got up quickly, and dust yourself off , heading to your room. It was next to ‘The Coordinator’ and ‘The Postman’. You searched for your key in your pockets and found it. You unlocked your door and went inside, then closed the door and locked it.

Y/N laid on her bed tiredly from all those matches , and from all the people she had to listen to, observing , saying bad stuff, but you have to say things back, right? You can’t really. They just tell you bad things in front of you , they don’t even care what are they saying! You can’t fight back. But you have to. It sounds easy, but you just freeze and let the words hit you like a train (LMAO WHAT😭). It’s tiring.

,,Let’s just sleep for now, I will see what’s gonna happen next..’’ you said to yourself tiredly. Then your eyes closed, the warm and not so soft bed relaxing your body.

zzz..

zzzz..

Suddenly a soft knock was heard from outside her door.

,,Umm Y/N..?’’ Whose voice was that?

You opened your eyes slightly and groaned.

The person outside heard her groan and started speaking nervously.

,,I umm.. Im sorry for disturbing you Y/N… But uhh.. It’s your turn to wash the dining’s tablecloth.. It sounds silly but today is Sunday remember..?’’

Oh yeah Sunday… The day where everyone has to keep the manor clean - washing , sweeping the leaves in the garden’s floor, washing the dishes.. It’s annoying.

Y/N recognised that voice.

She got up from her bed quickly and unlocked the door revealing Annie with a nervous smile on her face. She knew it was annoying.

,,Thank you Annie.’’ You said.

,,Hey, since I have already washed the carpet in the kitchen and it’s drying outside , can I help you with washing the tablecloth?’’ She offered kindly. She was such a sweet person.

,,Why not.’’ You answered and smiled.

Her nervous smile turned to a happy and calm one. She grabbed your hand , which you flinched from her sudden touch.

,,Come on! Let’s go!’’ She said happily and started to walk fast with you like a 7 year old who just saw an ice cream truck.

You giggled and followed her from behind.

————————————

Annie sighed tiredly.

,,Who! I feel tired..’’ she said with a grin.

You chuckled. ,,Of course you feel tired silly, you washed the kitchen’s carpet which is really big and now the tablecloth.’’ You smiled and she giggled.

,,Well let’s put the tablecloth outside! You hold the other side and I will hold this side.. but we need one more person..’’

Edgar appeared from one of the rooms. ,,Need help?’’

,,Oh Edgar! It’s nice seeing you! And yes, please. Me and Y/N were just talking how we needed a third person!’’ She giggled.

Edgar turned his head towards you, with a blank face which you blushed a little and avoided eye contact.

He smiled a little and turned back to Annie.

,,Of course, what am I supposed to do?’’ He asked.

,,Just hold this side and me and Y/N will hold the other two.’’

,,Alright’’ the three of you were going outside with the big tablecloth - Edgar holds the middle part of the table cloth , and you and Annie the other two.

The three of you place it outside to dry with the other.

You feel tired again.

,,Thanks Annie and Edgar.. I will go now..’’ you yawned and waved at them. You didn’t look back because you were tired. AGAIN. Seriously?

You laid again on your bed tiredly and closed your eyes.

It was like your bed was the only comfort place where you can escape the problems.

Safe place..

You cant sleep.. its hard but you just close your eyes..

MAP: Arms Factory

4 Cipher(s) left

,,My head hurts..’’ you said to yourself while decoding.

You aren’t paying attention to perfumer being chaired near you.

You didn’t know.

You were done with the cipher and she flew back to the manor.

,,Huh? Why no one rescued her..?’’

You were too tired to think.

2 Cipher(s) left

,,Y/N you idiot!’’ Suddenly you heard Edgar from behind you. He was mad.

,,Why didn’t you rescue Perfumer?? She was near you wasn’t she!!’’ He was talking too loud..

,,Shut up please..’’

,,Oh you want me to shut up?? This isn’t a kids game Y/N , we have to have each others back. And what were you doing? I bet you didn’t do ANYTHIIING!!!’’

,,JUST SHUT UP VALDEN’’

His eyes widened and furrowed his brows.

,,How dare you speak to me like that???!’’

,,SHUT UP HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS EDGAR, HOW MANY??? I AM SICK OF EVERYONE HERE , I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I WISHED I DIDNT HAVE FATIGUE SYNDROME!! ITS ALWAYS ME RIGHT?? IF I DIDNT HAVE IT MAYBE YOU GUYS WOULD BE PROUD OF ME, BUT NOO!! I AM TIRED EDGAR YOURE LIKE THE OTHERS’’ You were breaking down.

He stared at you shocked and speechless.

,,Leave me alone..’’ you sobbed.

Wasn’t he supposed to not care?

Deep inside him felt guilt.

,,I… Didn’t know you had fatigue syndrome.. I’m sorry’’ he sat in front of you and gave you a tight hug.

,,You are tired. I am so sorry.’’ He muttered.

,,I’m sorry…’’ he said again.

You couldn’t say anything. It was too much. Everything was too much.

You cried in his arms.

,,You can rest.. I am here.’’ He said softly.

,,The match?-‘’

,,I said rest.’’ He scooped you closer protectively.

for those of you who dont know what fatigue syndrome is , its when a person has difficulty thinking, problems sleeping, sore throat, headaches, feeling dizzy, or severe tiredness.

Please keep that in mind i am not mocking it in my fic.

Thank you for requesting and reading! See you in the next fic.

#identity v x reader #idv x reader #idv hcs #identity v oneshots #idv #edgar valden #identity v luca balsa #idv luca #luca balsa #norton campbell #norton x reader #idv norton #quick drawing #identity v #identity v headcanons

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bunny-heels · 7 days

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i saw your post about not rebloging from people who are proship and if im being honest, that mentality terrifies me as someone who just learned this word. what if there is a new word that circulates in places im not familiar in and i get blacklisted for just rebloging something specific without seeing the entire blog? i really try to stay on top of all this lingo but it gets tough. also is bdsm proship? bdsm is not a cover for abuse even if people try to use it as such, when done responsibly and in the right communities that value safety as a first rule they often are more aware of harm and the reduction and prevention of it then movements that wont allow the depiction of stories that help survivors identify their abuse. am i proship if i appreciate a artful depiction of an abuse in tv that helps me learn how to recover in a healthy way and find skills to help others not get hurt the ways i had to? am i proship for making jokes that might read as hurtful to an outsider who dosnt know my relationship to my friends/partner? im sorry i just want to understand the line here so i can understand the harm these people are actually doing.

i think youre just terrifying yourself, friend.

proshippers only have 3 terms they use, as far as i know; proship, comship [meaning complicated ship], and darkship [meaning dark topic ship].

you won't be blacklisted just because you reblogged a post created by a proshipper, especially if you dont follow the person who created the post and you didnt know they were a proshipper. stuff like that happens all the time, and not just with proshippers. lots of people unknowingly reblog from terfs, racists, nazis, zionists- hell even i've reblogged posts made by people who were like that. but if youre followers actually know who you are, then they'll know it was a mistake, and they'll likely warn you politely about it just to watch out for you.

BDSM is not proship. BDSM has to do with rough and physically tasking acts in sex that are discussed and consented on extensively. lots of people into BDSM, such as subs and doms, will tell you that they regularly check on each other and have a system to let them know if they're okay or need a break or if something goes too far.

plus i myself am into some extreme things that i would never do in real life, let alone without someones consent. its either a 100% yes or there's no doing it all.

liking media with depictions of harmful topics that put it in an educational or meaningful light is also not proship. one of my favorite indie games is My Eyes Deceive, which i find to be a beautifully morbid game that touches well on the topic of abuse towards children and shows how horrific it can really be.

not proship for making jokes either. i'm friends with a chick who we both used to date the same guy who turned out to be a pedo. we often joke about how we were victims of grooming because really, we were.

checkin to see if a person is a proshipper isnt something scary or even that hard to do you'll find. i mean, if you'd make an effort to check if the youtuber youre watching is racist or if the twitter acc youre following is a nazi, then i dont see it as a lot of work to go to a persons blog and double check to make sure they arent a creep.

which btw, you'll know instantly if they are. everyone on this site is not afraid to say what they like or what theyre into. there is a good 90% chance that if the blog youre checking is proship safe, then they will proudly say it on their pinned post or carrd or whatever they use to put their info. its not too hard to spot.

buddy, you have nothing to worry about, and i promise you its not that hard to be a good person. you see someone who has shitty ideals? just block and move on. you didn't know the person you interacted with was shitty? delete it, block them, and move on. like avoiding a food you find gross in a buffet or taking out the trash. you'll be fine.

#the bun answers

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maternal-extinct · 11 months

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Thank you Ma'am. I understand needing time to answer questions ^_^ Anyways... I know you're more on the cg side but maybe you (or maybe one of your littles) will have some advice. So, my Mama and I have super different schedules. By the time she's done with work I'm early in my shift and by the time I get done she's in bed. We also have our own other partners that also need time from us so it's hard to find time to see each other very often. This wasn't and issue because we only lived a few blocks from each other so I could still see her for a bit at least once a week, but now she's a 45 minute drive away (and I can't drive) so with that and scheduling issues I feel like I rarely get to spend time with her. Admittedly I've become pretty dependent on her presence in my life and it's affecting my mental health pretty badly, but I don't wanna put more pressure her. Any advice on coping with sparse time with a caregiver?

P.S. Sorry for the wall of text. I tend to ramble.

- Anonymous Fox

thank you for writing in sweetpea.

a big part of CGl, kink, or polyamory in general is negotiating and discussing needs, feelings, expectations, and boundaries and doing it kinda often. critters and theyre lives are super fluid so its always a good idea to discuss how things should be effected by changes cus changes happen frequently. it sounds like your mommy moving away was a change that had an effect on your relationship and moods in a big way, and without some communication those big changes just end up being managed internally for each of yall. it seems like a good time to broach those topics

here is a really helpful polyam framework for having big discussions if it feels like the kind of thing that warrants a big discussion.

now, like. as an personal perspective, most critters get into being a mom cus taking care of others can feel good. it can feel good to be helpful and to soothe others big emotions! i dont know who your mommy is but like, i can guess she loves you a lot and wants to help you. even if you feel like a burden for reaching out, she probably wants to know how youre feeling and what can be done to help you. a big part of communicating boundaries and expectations is learning what you can and cant do in concrete terms! being afraid of being a burden creates a lot of vaguity and imaginations and emotions can run wild in vague situations, so knowing what is and isnt burdensome will help avert that fear!

i hope that makes sense, if you need more advice im always happy to help, sweetpea! 💕

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woomycritiques543 · 1 year

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Hey, Hazbin fan here. That was totally not cool for that one person to say you should be bullied off the site. No one deserves that.

(TW: Mentions of ableism, p^dophillia, and cyberbullying.)

Definitely.

The fandom is genuinely insufferable.

I said on Twitter "Hey, maybe we should care more about Erin Frost's mental health and Vivziepop's mental health by no longer encouraging them to do two shows at the same time." and they reacted heartlessly saying that "none" of the staff cares about Erin (Spoiler: Ashley does, and she knows how Erin was mistreated too! This is now officially (with her permission most likely) public too. So theres no use hiding it in this case.) with "no one cares about her", accused me of shit without actually watching any of my videos, and tried to argue with me for two whole hours until I had to block all of my Twitter notifications altogether while saying that harassment in the fandom is "ok" and that im the "only" harasser there just because I say anything negative about Vivziepop or some of her crew. This was also in the middle of when the fandom went after my Twitter after I stated that it was a "good" thing that someone that was harassing the fandom was (temporarily) no longer on Twitter.

Want proof?

Here it is.

(A fan claiming that just because Erin made a mistake, that her emotions "should" be invalidated and that she's "not" a victim. It was the same fan who said thar DaniDraws666 "should" be allowed to bully and harass people without consequences. Not hold someone accountable- but to bully them. Two entirely different things.)

The same fan then said this to me.

Then contridicted their statement immediatly after. ("Hard Work" my ass! Overworking is abuse, and should never be normalized!)

I also posted this about Vivziepop's mental health and how her overworking herself causes her to have so many vents and meltdowns, and the fandom outright ignored me. Because that's the thing, they dont actually fucking care and just want to use Vivziepop for more content and or clout. It's disgusting.

There's actual ableism going on (not being able to visualize is an actual disorder. It's called Aphantasia.) in the fandom.

-and with the official staff (this is public information.)

Hell, there's even a new case of ableism from the youtuber:

Cartoon Universe. "DeepCut."

The fact that the show contains a script from irl people who are ok with using the characters as a means to write ableist slurs without being held accountable for it (many more fans started to use that slur after Helluva Boss's pilot, so dont tell me "lol media with fiction doesnt do anything to anyone!" people.), have a autistic coded character that they use to show hate towards autistic traits, have a creator who said that someone was "mentally unstable" (something used for disabilities) as an insult and treid to blacklist Erin Frost from having a career (When Vivziepop publically harassed a child, publically said things about Dollcreep that were obviously private, etc. So by that logic Vivziepop "should" be blacklisted too. Except- she isnt! So people demonizing Erin Frost and basically saying that they deserve "nothing" and to be blacklisted, and "deserve" to be bullied and legally imprisoned is disgusting.), plus have a fandom who constantly says ableist slurs from the show and harass people with disabilities this often... really shows how much of an impact the ableism within Helluva Boss truly had. Not just with the script from that show, but the behavior from the creators in general.

To the point where people with disabilities have been getting harassed in this fandom (while using quotes from the first episode to harass other fans.) for years now. It's becoming an social epidemic at this point. Not just the ableisim- but the heavy amounts of harassment within the fandom in general. (Also- this Tumblr post from a fan contains discord screenshots! Things that they label as "illegal." The same thing that people said that Erin Frost "should" have their career ruined over. How hypocritical is that?! That showing discord screenshoots is "bad faith" unless it's towards someone that they hate. Hell, even if the NDA wasnt there people would have still harassed Erin. But that's another issue altogether.) There's so much bullying and overall meaness going on in the fandom, Vivziepop keeps overworking herself and her staff, and people keep saying nothing about it or excuse the whole thing because "lmao more stolitz lol!" matters to them more than the mental health of those working on it. So no matter what people say- This "just" about Erin Frost, my videos are not created, with hours upon hours of research and dedication to "harass" Vivziepop or her staff: This is about freelance rights, minority representation, and the refusal against bullying within the Hazbin community.

#hazbin hotel #helluva boss #hazbin discourse #bullying within fandoms #ableism within fandoms.

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bishiglomper · 11 months

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That culmination of a nervous breakdown has been trying to trigger. I am strugglin'

Didn't go out for shopping Friday because my battery has gotten shittier and shittier and i was trying to conserve energy. Did go out to lunch with them though. And then we went out of town to do festival things and fireworks. Wore me out a lot worse than i expected because we went back the next day and i was literally dragging ass. I was so slow and lethargic. Didnt feel good enough even to get an iced coffee. Or a snack. On the way home though we had bro's car which had AC and after some iced tea i was a bit revived enough to tolerate some nugs.

But then we got home (between 1-2) and i was out until 9pm (thank god i ate some nugs). Which made me sad because I was trying so hard to make it to my friends debut doing tarot readings at the shop literally 3 houses down and despite me telling them how much we needed to go and rearranging plans to fit... No one woke me up and i forgot. I was just so dead.

I slept most of today. And then i got sensory and mental overload. Just. My face was itchy. My eyes and nose were sore from being rubbed all day. The nephew got home midday and instead of cuddling he needed tickles which i didnt have the energy for, so he tickles me but i fucking HATE being tickled- that in itself is sensory overload. But he was obnoxious and loud about it. By then i was already feeling like i needed to cry.

Slept more. Woke up to help with dinner. Got overwhelmed. The trash is overflowing, i cant take it out, so theres nowhere to add more trash. There was trash on my plant. There were dirty dishes on the little spot by the window the cat likes to watch out of. I try to keep their spaces open. Ive already been fighting shit back from literally blocking their food and water. The house has gotten so bad. And the carpets are so shitty, i cant stand walking on them. They feel gummy. Ew.

And then i was put in charge of baked beans. I have never put those in the oven and sister was already grilling meat which only takes 20 minutes so I had no clear instructions on how to deal with that and that was just another small notch in my overload meter. But at that point i was crying. But I'm a repressed crier so I did not feel any better. D<

I dont know what is up with my body being this empty. Its frustrating and inconvenient and doesnt feel good.

Oh and on top on all the mental and physical overload, i was already 3 days overdue for my migraine shot. Which is always traumatic. So that was a spoon i didnt have.

And then i realized im also overdue for my ozempic. Which isnt even a spoon normally but its just more i had to do

But to add insult to injury im out of pens but I had like 1/8 in my last pen and i thought i had an old lower dose pen I could just use twice. But it was already almost used up so I had to get migraine shot, lantus shot, and TWO ozempic shots, and still only ended up with like. 60% of my dose of that. 😐

I dont even think I did my nighttime pills, I'm just so done.

I need a new fuckin battery 😭

#just whining

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friendlystarfruit · 1 year

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I’ve seen some manipulative suicide baiting post like “if you’re not gonna send some ask or anon ask when I wake up then I’m just gonna kill myself bo hoo why does everyone hate me and no interest on my ocs” ! people like these need to touch some grass

what really? cw suicide, mental health

that kind of behavior is toxic and manipulative but it also suggests somebody is really needing proper help outside tumblr (tumblr isnt a place for professional , friendly advice , and support and venting sure but you cant heal deep wounds like that .

Geez..... that is depressing, it amazes me that tumblr allows people as young as 13 on here, I think tumblr should be 16+ or under 16 yea olds should be banned from anons or opening anons

The thing is the *boo hoo I am gonna kill myself because no one likes my ocs* is kinda an unsettling way to word it, even if these people are being manipulative, anyone who does says that is clearly mentally unwell and honestly that is heartbreaking, you should still protect yourself from these people but wow it is very sad to hear.

Now it could be somebody who has no real demons other than their own narcissism but that is not my first thought.

I know how hard it is to struggle with mental health , I have never done something that manipulative but I would not just be worried about a persons assholeness if I saw somebody do such , if they craze attention then yes your shock could be enabling but hearing about people behaving like that does kinda horrify me.

The thing is a lot of us have the right to block a person like that but could become anxious , further enabling that person maladaptive coping mechanism

#ask #anon #asks

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thedeepweb · 2 years

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update on the hyperempath girl: she's still the same 🥰

undercut bc i dont want to see this as tags lmao. i need to complain about this sorry. dont rb

this dude started talking to me out of the blue basically and in the day assigned me manipulative mastermind. bc i told him i like psychology and sociology. yeah. and also told him the joke of my dream job being the offscreen hand that hands chefs the already done plate. since then everything he says that isnt about how ppl suck and the world is cruel is asking if i like mental games

the thing is i send the groupchat a screenshot where im curving his negative moment by asking him about movies. i told him i liked the batman bc of characterization and also its v funny. he literally goes "why did you find the characterization funny? bc it's an illusion?" and like the alarms went off so hard that they arent alarms anymore they are disaster sirens. i send the screenshot to the group and everyone tells me to block inmediatly, some without even explaining it to him.

she, of course, doesn't. instead she focuses on the message above where i tell him i don't care about marvel. she tells me i should have put a facade and pretended to be softer about movies, bc people loose interest in her otherwise, but thats just her opinion, thats how she works, she would have pretended to care. "you're just too honest" she says, on a screenshot where literally the next message is the guy telling me i must enjoy illusions and making fun of unaware men falling for tricks. im biting a wall by now

now after like 7 messages from others, telling me to block (she developed this thing of replying to each and every single message, even if its a gif or a meme) she gives me her wisdom:

"leave! (already said i'd do that) you're too busy for this (i said this while saying i'd block) buzzword buzzword! i understand what youre going through i had something similar happen to me and needed therapy. independize yourself! that type of people are the results from "deep scars from their childhood"....................................................... and are also control freaks uwu"

so now im doing the kubrick stare at my phone

#dont rb #sent her an 🤨 for the shitty childhood makes you prone to be a weirdo part bc i couldnt contain myself and now i fear her justification #why do these things always happen when im busy. cant i just chill -_-

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shivroyslut · 2 years

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hello, so i am shifting accounts, woo! well, partially shifting. (if you want to reblog this post, go ahead) long post follows below cut, so a TLDR: i am leaving because i am starting to feel uncomfortable in the cule (reason for discomfort explained below cut). i will still keep this account for reblogging destiel and creative content, but everything else will be in the new account. im not saying the account's name but it isnt too hard to find. please tag @castinkywinky in your creative posts (edits, amvs, art, webweaves, gifs, etc.) or DM them to me. i really do not want to miss them. feel free to DM me other people's posts you find cool as well!! --

the primary reason why i am leaving is because the environment in cule tumblr right now is starting to get hostile. idk if i should, but im just gonna talk about what i am seeing on here that has made me uncomfortable, cause i dont want to be silent:

biphobia, acephobia, people talking over neurodivergent people, people invalidating other people's triggers and being unwilling to cooperate by tagging their posts with warnings, vaguing and ganging up on mutuals (i have seen none of my mutuals partake in these, but i am not online all the time so i cant be sure what happens when i'm offline), and just people being rude and mean. definitely didn't help that a lot of the victims were poc and/or neurodivergent people.

i’ve been lucky to not have directly been involved in any of the conflict that arose, but it is really tough and upsetting to see mutuals’ names get dragged under just for having different and valid opinions on a tv show that ended in 2020. all of this while blogs who purposely started the hate and discourse are getting support, praises, and tractions, and i'm just gonna say it, its because they are very popular among the cule and have a lot of followers. i am unsure if they are unable to grasp the influence they hold or are purposely using it to bully others but idk. also the anonymity of discord channels makes things harder.

i'm not saying i'm a perfect person and i have definitely made mistakes on this account, which i am regretful of. but i am learning and growing and a lot of these people i see seem fixed in their ways. i also do understand that it is human nature that in a power struggle people will most likely stand with the bully, often without even realising that that's what they are doing. really the only option i have in this scenario is to walk away because the rest of us are powerless (i know whatever i say here wont have an impact either, considering i blocked some of the blogs too). i know i can just block and unfollow people, but that hasnt been enough for me. and frankly after spending majority of the day on my new account, my mental health feels much better. (hoping it doesnt get worse after i post this)

anyways, i still want to support everyone's creations so if you make a new amv, art, webweave, etc. feel free to add me to your tag list or DM them to me, cause honestly my prime reason for not deactivating this account is to see creative work in the cule and the fandom. cause you guys are so fucking talented. i still do have a decent following size here, so hopefully reblogging the posts here instead of my new account will bring more traction to the posts.

speaking of my new account, it will not have any destiel content. destiel content shall remain in here alongside fandom creations. but on the new account i will be posting individual character content and content of other ships, including any and all rarepairs (well, within reason). also succession, watcher, muppets, and my other special interests.

i'm not going to link my new account here, just going to say that i'm using the same email for it as the one i use for my jail account, and that the url is also linked in the description of my jail. i have followed some of my mutuals on there already. you are free to ask me for the account name, but just know if you're primarily a destiel account, i may not be following back. we can remain mutuals on this account

i will also still be doing the daily cas posts so follow me @dailycasposts. the post usually come around 10-11am EST (unless i forgot or a mutual asks to post earlier) and i will still be active on discord, so DM me if you want my discord ID. or really, just DM me here if you want to talk, since i have to log on every night to cas post anyways.

that's all i have. so take care everyone, it was fun being active on this account while it lasted. all of you made it so fun and i definitely would not have survived 2021 without this account and the mutuals and friends i have made along the way. i hope to keep in touch with most of you and last reminder to add me (this account) to your tag lists and/or DM me your creative posts !! <33 Mx Stinkywinky

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fluffi · 3 years

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SARCOLINE SUNSET I: WELCOME HOME, OUTSIDER :: SOOBIN

pairing: soobin x gn!reader, platonic!ot5 x gn!reader genre: fluff, some subjective angst, bits of humor, enemies-to-lovers, childhood friends word count: 4002 event: #summerscape for @kpopscape credit: @enha-woodzies for making the gfx for this series! show her some love <3 author’s note: i accidentally deleted this post so here is a rushed reupload. it might not be as good as the original because it isnt proof read as well but i still hope the algorithm picks it up, maybe this’ll be good for the post. Also, the second part will be coming out in 15 days. warnings: people disappearing, mentions of burning and fire (further warnings will be released in the next parts as the story gets darker)

THIS STORY IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT DICTATE JAY OR NI-KI’S PERSONAL LIVES AND/OR FAMILY.

part two ->

The blonde stared up at an intricately designed structure in awe, walking forward to touch the sides of it and running his calloused hands up and down its rusted carved wedges. It seemed oddly cliche and unrealistic, but he could feel its story. Every touch of the ceramic pillar provided him with emotion that he couldn’t bring himself to explain.

The sun hadn’t set yet, but he could make out the faint reflection of it settling in the background. The huge pine trees around him were making conversation with each other; their faint whispers and rustles providing peace to his veins.

So entranced in the scenery of such a mystical place, he forgot to watch out for his younger peer. Kicking back into his senses, he nervously called out, “Riki! You there?” His voice, usually strong and boisterous, laced fear today.

“Don’t worry about me Jay, I’m right behind you. Just climbing this fence..and..there!” Riki let out a grunt as he jumped onto the soft grass, looking at his older friend with an innocent grin.

At the sight of his buddy, Jay visibly loosened. It was clear that he didn’t feel safe in this environment, yet felt entranced to it in some way. Riki caught up to him in a quick jog before standing next to Jay, in awe at the magnificent view that they were spectating for the first and possibly last time.

“Is this…the place you were talking about?” Riki was out of breath from running after his peer. He pats the grassy patch below him before slumping onto it, crossing his legs afterward.

Jay took a seat next to him, setting his canvas satchel and leather jacket next to him. “According to the maps and books, this is the right spot. I just want to see if the myth is true.”

Riki clapped his hands in excitement and turned to face Jay. “We’re staying till the sun sets right? I want to see what the carousel looks like at night! This structure is so fascinating. It must be beautiful out here at night.”

“No, we’re walking back as soon as the sun goes down. I do not want to risk being out here at night. People have disappeared from staying too long and I wouldn’t want to worry your mother.”

Riki visibly slumped and turned back in time to see the last drop of orange dip. It was quiet for a while. The singing birds stopped humming their soulful tunes, yet the whispering trees grew louder, their inaudible gossip echoing in the ears of the two boys.

At nine at night, Riki’s mother would call Jay, heeding no response. She would do the same for his parents and his friends. The only piece of information they could provide was that Jay had brought Riki, in his words, to “a magical place”. With no other vital details they could draw from their son’s peers, Jay and Riki’s family agree to call the local police, reporting two missing people: two minors, one last seen in a brown leather jacket, and a taller one tailing alongside him. Both their hairs were dyed in a striking shade of blonde.

Summer’s heat-blasted onto your skin as soon as you stepped out of your sleek white Toyota. It was good to be back, you supposed. Although it was something that not many people would fawn over, you were ecstatic to be home in town.

Leaving at the mere age of sixteen wasn’t easy. After your parents decided that you were too good for a mediocre high school where people cared more about their body count than grade count, they immediately sent you off to a prestigious boarding school in the big city. You were given three days to pack and say goodbye to your friends, the rest of your family, your world. As excited as you were to study in the evolutionary epicenter of technology, you didn’t like how you had almost no say in this decision.

You didn’t return home from high school even after four years of studying at that mentally draining institution. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to come back, you were just so accustomed to life in the big city that it seemed pointless to return to square one. With the rest of the world finally in your grip (or so you thought), you enrolled in a highly expensive university and received a full-ride scholarship.

Perhaps that was your breaking point. Piles of work that could never be cleared must’ve got to your head. No one out there seemed to care about your mental health and well-being. The only reason you were allowed to take a break from the university and return was because of your constant breakdowns that your lecturers called “distracting” and “unethical”. You were hoping that this drop-by in town would give you a physical and mental cleanse.

There was no place as hot as home, from where you had been. The blazing sun scorched onto the road. Carrying baggage by itself was already hard enough, but this heat was immensely torturing. You struggled to carry your belongings while trying to close the car boot at the same time. Oh, a pity. You had just returned home and you were slowly turning into a bundle of disorganization, unlike your previous methodical attitude.

“Need a hand?” A familiar suede voice behind your shoulder sounded like music to your ears as you dropped all of your luggage and turned back to see…

“Taehyun!” Child best friend number one. You were looking at a once-innocent boy with doe eyes who had matured into a fine young man. His hair was dyed platinum blonde and, although younger than you, possessed a flair that was completely unlike his past self. His facial features were more prominent than ever and you wondered if all of your friends had developed as well as he had.

You locked your arms around his neck and embraced him as he took your baggage from you.

“You’re so tall now!” You gasped in awe and looked him up and down.

“Of course I am! A boy has to grow, doesn’t he?”

Speak of the devil(s), four people tagged behind Taehyun, waiting for you to notice their presence. All of them were just as tall (if not taller) than your blonde friend and stood out like a sore thumb. It wasn’t just the height, their hair was also in very...exciting colors.

“Can’t believe you forgot about us just for Taehyun.” Ah, that nasal voice was so recognizable. Choi Yeonjun, second-best friend. You cherished him like he was your secret weapon, a power waiting to be unleashed into your industrial world. Although older than Taehyun, they seemed to be the same height now. You couldn’t tell because his new neon pink hair was waxed slick and puffy which made him look a teensy bit taller than his younger friend. You had seen him around on social media and he was a hair-changing chameleon.

Alongside Yeonjun was Hueningkai, better known as Kai in the friend group. He was the youngest one, constantly babied and spoiled, you could say. He was probably influenced by the rest of his friends too, his hair now in a mossy shade of blonde.

Poor Yeonjun, you completely disregarded his existence and dashed over to Kai instead, eagerly standing next to him to compare heights. The kid had grown so much, you couldn’t tell if you were contented that he was now taller than you or dejected that you had missed so much when you weren’t around.

“Hey, wait up!” Someone from behind called. With Hueningkai and Yeonjun blocking your view you couldn’t see who that one person walking next to Choi Beomgyu was.

Beomgyu, the last friend who joined the friend group. He was always a comedian and never failed to make your day. Although, he didn’t seem so smiley anymore. You figured that it was school stress and adulting getting the best of him. We all had those days; you regrettably knew them like you knew the back of your hand . Unlike the rest of his friends, Beomgyu’s hair was kept in a natural shade of ivory brown. He had never been swayed by the rest of the crowd.

There were so many things to do, so many people to see. You had missed out on most of your growing: having fun with friends, staying up late at night just to watch the stars, dancing on your balcony. You had missed the people too. The town felt different from when you had left it.

“Soobin! Don’t just stand behind, meet our friend! They just returned from the city, right?” Beomgyu ran over to you before giving you a little squeeze.

Who’s Soobin?

“Hey, I’m Choi Soobin. Twenty-one this year. I moved here a few years ago. You must have left before I showed up.” A simple and concise introduction from the blue-haired man. Maybe he was the root of this hair-dyeing trend in town (pun very much intended), as well as the height trend since he was just as tall, if not taller than the rest of the boys.

You briefly introduced yourself but that was about it. You didn’t know how to create small talk, nonetheless with someone completely unfamiliar to you.

Later that day, you wondered if he had replaced you, become another guardian in the friend group. As one of the oldest, you and Yeonjun were always known as the parents of your three “kids”, but Soobin seemed to take care of them equally well. Throughout the day, you watched his every action, how he helped Beomgyu with homework, how he styled Kai’s hair, how he treated Taehyun to his favorite meal, exactly like what you did when you were still around. For once, you felt like the outsider.

Marshmallow Night had always been a tradition here. It was a five-of-you kind of thing, well, the six-of-you now. It had always been the go-to celebration whenever one of you hit a milestone, or was just held for fun. The days of joy where the only thing you had to worry about was whether your smores were burnt.

It had changed a lot over the years, you guys would add some new events to it and remove the ones you guys outgrew, like hopscotch.

You had missed most of its evolution.

Instead of being the main catalyst for today’s event, you resorted to sitting at the side as Soobin took the lead, carrying tables back and forth as well as setting up the fire in a method that the five of you had never used.

Oh, how much you loathed him. You hated his innocent-looking face that spurred out words of authority and boastfulness. You couldn’t stand how he looked so obnoxious with his bright blue hair, his dark brown eyes that held an impeccable gleam. He looked so cheeky, so mean, and worst of all, he had made all of your friends convert to mini spawns of him. Even Yeonjun, the oldest member, no longer felt like the Choi Yeonjun you once knew.

If you could, you would throw him out of your hometown, except that you seemed to be the outsider here. Anyone who walked past would see five people sitting on a huge log, helping each other light marshmallows and biscuits. They would barely notice the one person hunched over on the other side, sitting on the ground, eyes dazed and uninterested.

Occasionally one of the boys would call out to you, either hand you a s’more or ask if you were alright, to which you responded, “I’m alright! Don’t worry about me, I’m having fun.”

Anyone could also see that you weren’t in the zone, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment and be a party pooper. You ended up spending most of the time scrolling on your phone, checking school emails, and such. It didn’t feel like you were back home, it felt like you were on a vacation, on your own.

The commotion had died down, for the most part. Everyone else was either discussing school gossip in hushed voices or making the most of use of their electronic device. You were tempted to join the little heated conversation that Soobin and Beomgyu were having, but you didn’t know who this ‘Chaeyeon’ girl was and either way, you wouldn’t want to voluntarily speak to Choi Soobin.

It wasn’t long before both of them went to do something else, the only sound prevalent being the wood crackling from the bonfire and the occasional chirp of evening birds.

It was a loud, sucked-in breath that drew the attention of everyone, eyes pinned onto the instigator.

Choi Soobin, once again disrupting the peace of this curated environment. He ducked his head in apology and you were about to return to your world when Kai’s curiosity got the best of him.

“Why did you just do that?” His booming voice resounded over everyone else.

You weren’t going to lie, you were curious too. It wasn’t every day you heard a gasp like that.

Soobin looked back up, eyes wide and awake. He was excited about something but seemed to be masking it for the sake of..suspense?

“Okay. You guys know Yongsam Park right?” He put his phone down and tapped his hands on his thighs in a state of urgency.

Now that statement got everyone’s attention. “It’s the flower place outside our town, everyone passes it when they enter. Of course we would know where the place is. Why are you so adamant about it?” Taehyun inquired.

“Well, have any of you gone inside the park? Or near the landmark in general?”

“No. Why would we? There’s nothing to do there than to take pictures of boring flower statues.” You stated.

“See. You guys don’t know anything about the place.” He smirked tilting his head upwards and proudly crossing his arms.

“Could you cut to the chase and tell us what it is already?” Thank Yeonjun for his smart, impatient mouth.

Soobin didn’t answer and merely flipped his phone so you could see whatever was on it. The only words you could make out were “Yongsam...missing...carnival” and something related to the park before he turned it back, away from your view.

“You can’t just say that we don’t know anything about this place then proceed to give us nothing about it.” You rolled your eyes, disinterested in the conversation once again.

“Fine. I’ll send it to you.” Soobin rolled his eyes back as four of the other boys snickered. They loved seeing the two of you bicker.

In courtesy of Beomgyu who gave Soobin your number (without your consent), you received a news article and skimmed through it with eager eyes:

[WHAT’S THE HYBE?]

YONGSAM PARK CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION, AUTHORITIES SAY 3 days ago

What’s the deal with Yongsam Park? Insiders say that, although bland and boring, Yongsam Park is currently under high-level investigation for the disappearance of a few citizens. The flower-decorated park is the perfect place to take Instagram-worthy pictures and is quite harmless in itself, so visitors were shocked to arrive at the park only to find it surrounded by heaps of yellow tape.

Yongsam Park was developed by Kim Yongsam, director of My Flowers, a multi-million florist franchise that has now spread to Japan and Taiwan. In a 2015 Interview with the millionaire, he mentioned that he had created the park in the inspiration of the rising ootd picture trend, also known as the outfit-of-the-day trend, which he had initially discovered from his teen daughter.

“I wanted to create a welcoming park for people of all ages, but I couldn’t find a suitable place to do it without the budget being drastically high. In the end, my team and I found an abandoned site and decided to build a simple structure with lower costs up there. Props to my team for the discovery of this landmark. The scenery there, especially in the evening, is stunning .” He stated in the 2015 interview with Soup Magazine.

What’s the abandoned site? With the evidence that is still standing, Yongsam Park is rumored to have previously been a carnival. Said evidence is a worn-down carousel in the back of the park, along with piles of other burnt carnival decoration and equipment. With research, Yongsam Park’s site may have once been an abandoned carnival that perished from an unknown wildfire. This may have been the primary cause of the drought that ensued in the 80s, leaving only a carousel and ashes behind. When questioned, Mr. Kim said that he had decided to leave the carousel standing behind the park due because he felt ‘drawn by its alluring glow’, as quoted.

Investigators and the local police have only enclosed the flower section of Yongsam Park because that was where the victims were spotted. They believe that disappearances took place there and are currently trying to find evidence to back up their stance. Most of this new information is not known to the public, however, Kim and his team are trying to keep it that way. The current disappearance count is seven people, the most recent case being two high-schoolers.

The carousel is still open and does not require a visitor ticket, but visitors are advised to take precautions and leave before the sun sets.

TWO MORE BOYS HAVE DISAPPEARED AT THE NOW INFAMOUS YONGSAM PARK 5 days ago

FAMILY OF TOURISTS DISAPPEAR AT YONGSAM PARK, INSIDERS SAY THIS IS THE SECOND CASE OF DISAPPEARANCE HERE 2 weeks ago

JAPANESE COUPLE DISAPPEAR AT FLOWER PARK, NETIZENS CALL THE NEWS A POLITICAL DISTRACTION 3 weeks ago

“Are you seriously...telling us...that we should visit a place where people have been kidnapped?” Yeonjun gawked. “Dude, that’s so stupid. What if we die or something?”

“Don’t say that! I was just curious if you guys wanted to go since it’s so near and since your old friend is back home.”

“It’s a dumb move. I’m not risking my life just so I can celebrate the return of my friend. Not worth it.” Beomgyu huffed.

“Hey! You’re worth it, right?” Soobin glanced at you, waiting for a response.

He was...defending you? His ulterior motives were questionable and you weren’t sure if he was protecting you because he cared about you (cue the puking) or solely because he wanted to go to Yongsam Park that bad.

You didn’t reply and chose to drown out the wailing and chaos that ensued with your friends. You clicked on a related article below, curious to learn more about this lesser-known part of the park.

[WHAT’S THE HYBE?]

TWO MORE BOYS HAVE DISAPPEARED AT THE NOW INFAMOUS YONGSAM PARK 5 days ago

Park Jongseong (20) and Nishimura Riki (15) mentioned to their friends that they would be heading to ‘a magical place’, before disappearing for around a week. They were last spotted walking through Yongsam Park, according to anonymous witnesses. This is the third case of disappearances at the park and both teens are the sixth and seventh people to go missing.

Both families reported their children missing just two days after their disappearance. With this case being the last straw, local authorities forcibly shut down Yongsam Park despite protests from staff and management.

Parents of the two minors refused to respond when called for an interview and HYBE reporters resorted to interviewing the victims’ friends instead.

“Jay’s never been a bad kid. Yeah, he might be late here and there, but he wouldn’t skip class or fly across the country for vacation during school. I just don’t understand why he’s not here with us. He wouldn’t voluntarily disappear.” Park Sunghoon (19), a friend and classmate of Jongseong (who is better known as Jay among his friends) said.

“Although I’m not close with Jay, I know Riki personally and I know for a fact that both of them wouldn’t run away like that. Why, Riki was gearing up for a dance competition that he’s been excited about all year, and now he’s just gone? Like that? Riki has always been like my little brother, and he’ll always be. I just want him back at my side.” A teary-eyed Lee Heeseung (20) says.

Netizens have been complaining about the lack of coverage on this issue.

“Maybe Mr. Kim spent all his money on covering this story up from the mainstream public. That’s why he had to build the stupid park on an abandoned sketchy site.” An anonymous netizen commented.

Regardless, we’ll be keeping our prayers for Jongseong and Riki, as well as the five other victims, to return home soon.

“...you guys are such wimps.” That was the first thing you heard Soobin say when you tuned in to the conversation again.

How dare he say that? How dare he have the courage to call you, someone who moved out on your own at 16 to live in the big, scary world, a..wimp?

“Look, Choi Soobin. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a wimp. I didn’t say that I wasn’t interested on this trip.” You stand up and blurt out without thinking twice.

The rest of the boys are gawking at you, their mouths open wide in awe and shock. Yes, you weren’t a wimp, that was for sure, but they had known you all their life as someone who could not stand going out into the wilderness. Maybe the big city had really changed you.

“At least someone wants to go! Perfect. We can leave tomorrow at noon, bring your camping stuff!” Soobin grabbed his things and began walking away.

“Camping?” The five of you exclaimed in unison.

Taehyun, the rational member, gasped. “I, personally, wouldn’t mind going to the carousel thing..or whatever it is, but I am not staying the night. Dude, are you nuts?” The rest of you nodded your heads in agreement.

“It says in the article that we are advised to leave before the sun sets.” You point out, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible in fear of breaking this mask of false confidence, when in reality, you were terrified of this place.

Soobin turned back and eyed you down disinterestedly. “Conclusion is that we’ll bring a small backpack, or whatever you guys want to pack, and we’ll stay there until eight. Deal?”

“Seven.” Hueningkai timidly said.

“Whatever you guys want.”

You hadn’t been able to sleep last night. It wasn’t due to fear of the place you were going, rather, you weren’t too excited about having to spend half of your day around Soobin.

What were you going to say to him? You were definitely overthinking at this point.

You know, they always say that the person one hates the most is the one that they also love most. And when Soobin flipped his blue hair back or cheekily smiled, showing his endearing dimples, you couldn’t help but…

No! You loathe Choi Soobin. You couldn’t stand his smile, or his hair, or his height. That evil moonwitch.

“Hey, you ready to go?” Speak of the devil (or moonwitch), you spotted a fluff of blue hair in your peripheral vision.

You couldn’t even muster up the courage to look back at him, merely nodding your head while staring at the white wall.

“Why aren’t you looking at me? Are you...scared?” You could see him wiggle his eyebrows as he made that statement.

That was it. You turned back at him. “Yes I am. I’m absolute terrified. I can’t stand the fact that I have to forcibly spend my precious time around you. It’s like I’m about to voluntarily live a nightmare.”

Woah there, calm down. You had smoke spurting out of your ears at this point.

Soobin’s once excited face fell into one of disappointment. “Yeah, it’s a nightmare having to be around you too. Gosh, the immaturity.” He left the room in haste as your eyes shot lasers through his well-toned back.

Maybe you had gone too far with the insult. He hadn’t been mean to you at all, really.

Then again, he had been mean. He took your place when you weren’t around. Suddenly, you were determined to get it back.

“Hop on the magic school bus!”

“Shut up, Yeonjun.” You deadpanned before leaning your head on his shoulder. The two of you were finally falling back into routine and you couldn’t help but bask in this nostalgia.

You also couldn’t help but notice how Soobin kept on looking through the rearview mirror at the both of you, pupils darting away once you locked eyes with him.

Man, this was going to be a long ride.

2021 © fluffi

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soft-boi-eli · 3 years

Note

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

#jschlatt x reader #mcyt fluff #schlatt x reader #mcyt #mcyt schlatt #dsmp schlatt #schlatt fluff #schlatt #please bind safely #non binary #tw: body harm #tw: body dysphoria #tw: body dysmorphia

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dr3amofagame · 3 years

Note

Do you think c! Quackity are skilled on the mastering of "necessary convincing" on a person? And man the stream yesterday was so intense dark theme.

hello !

this is testament of how behind i am in asks, haha, considering this was sent basically at the beginning of q’s visits and it’s been ,, uh ,, several months since then ASJKFLJAS - but im going to try to answer it now while pretending that we dont have months proving that c!quackity is very willing to do whatever the hell it takes to get the revive book from someone.

i think that the ,, technicalities? of the torture were never an issue - everyone in the dream smp universe has to know how to use a weapon in its most basic form, after all, just to defend themselves from mobs and stuff, tho some people are clearly more adept at using them than others. torture is ultimately just hurting someone until they do what you want them to do (way oversimplified, but this definition works here) - physically, if you’re able to kill a zombie, there’s functionally little different with inflicting harm on a defenseless unarmed human with no means of defending themselves.

the real challenge, as with most things in the minecraft roleplay, comes from the mental side - how far is c!quackity really willing to go? obviously he *can* hurt someone, but doing so also tends to go against a lot of our most basic instincts as humans. defying that becomes the real question to consider - and c!quackity, in his increased willingness to hurt not only c!dream, but everyone as he’s manipulated people more and used people more for his own gain in the last few months, seems to providing as much of an answer as we’re going to get.

this obviously isnt to say that he isn’t conflicted, or that he’s pure evil !! but c!quackity, by his own admission, seems to hold little trust for other people and ideals anymore. his main goal is Las Nevadas and whatever he needs to make it great - anything and everything else is either a means to his end or an obstacle in his way. i dont doubt that there are chinks to this mindset to exploit, things that he cares about enough to take his single-minded focus off of Las Nevadas. as of now, though, i don’t think that torturing c!dream and the violence it’ll require of him will be that breaking point.

anyway, have a really dark snippet exploring c!quackity some more !! he’s really fun to write, though i don’t think i’ve really mastered his voice yet - practice makes perfect, i guess. heed the warnings and hope you enjoy!

tw: torture, abuse, blood, injuries, branding, violence, death mention, abuse apologism, mental deterioration, dark content, dark imagery, very dark portrayal of c!quackity, pandora’s vault/prison arc

There’s a certain learning curve that comes with torturing someone.

It sounds obvious, thinking back, as much as it sounds morbid as all hell, but it’s not like he’s in any position to judge. Quackity swipes another stack of iron from a chest, momentarily grumbling about the cost, before melting down three ingots for the blade of his next axe. He could just do it in a crafting table, but there’s a degree of calm in the monotony of doing it all by hand, slowly watching as the iron begins to glow red hot in the heat of the furnace and then hammering it into shape on his anvil. He hadn’t been good at it before, had let Sapnap do the majority of the smithing for the three of them in the past, but. Well.

When you’re eating through several sets of iron tools a week, either from bending them out of shape against unforgiving obsidian or melting the blades past saving in lava or burning them all entirely, when he’s too tired to be bothered cleaning off the blood and simply chucks the used tools after a session into the molten rock outside the cell, you kind of have to figure out how to make your own shit so others don’t get suspicious.

He beats the metal into a block, humming softly over the clangs of his hammer. There’s definitely a learning curve to crafting weapons, too - he’s pretty proud of the ones that he can make, now, even though he’s still no good at any of the fancier furnishings and finishes (nor does he particularly care about them). Figuring out how to torture someone effectively was a similarly slow process - finding their limits and how far to push before something, inevitably, gives. He hadn’t exactly handled it the best in the first few visits, usually retching into the nearest wastebasket at the smell, at the feeling of blood coating his fingertips, at the screams ringing incessantly in his head. It wasn’t all that long before he forwent sleep altogether, devoting all of his time on paperwork and calls and anything that would deafen the cries that would’ve haunted him otherwise. He was no good with his tools, either - more than a few times, in those early visits, did he end up slicing too deep or going too far and needing to cut the session short for Sam to come in and administer health pots before Dream died and rendered all of their efforts useless.

(Sapnap had been the one to first teach him how to wield an axe, correcting his stance and his grip with gentle, calloused hands. He remembers them training on the newly laid dirt surface of Mexican L’manburg, sweat dripping down his neck from the sun beating against their heavy armor, Sap laughing at his unbalanced, heavy-armed swings and demonstrating with his own weapon, movements fluid and graceful as if it was an extension of his own arm. In the cell, he thinks of Sapnap’s voice, firm in his focus - feet at least shoulder width apart, hands braced on the axe handle, left sitting just above the end and the right just a few inches below the head - and swings.)

It had been...a process. A bloody, often painful process - his hands are calloused, now, in ways they never were before, from the constant handling of his many tools. His back aches constantly from bending over, and his shirt - more often splattered with blood than not - now bears some permanent pink stains that he can’t get out no matter how hard he tries. (The laundry, he thinks wryly, had been a hell of a learning process as well.) He picks up the metal with a pair of tongs, easing it back under the fire’s heat until it glows a soft pink, and then places it back onto the anvil to work - slowly beating the metal into shape.

He’s had to learn a lot. The lessons are fascinating, in a gruesome, morbid sort of way. He’d brought a brand the other day, painstakingly carved into a fancy, curlicued Q all on his own, used in his work at Las Nevadas originally to finish furnishing a few pieces of leather furniture he had scattered around the city. As Dream struggled under him, skin blackening under the white-hot metal, he’d immersed himself in the sight, far more similar to his past leatherwork than he might’ve originally expected. He almost wanted to do it again, just to compare, but the stress of it all had been enough to knock the prisoner into shock, which had put a significant damper on the rest of his visit. He watches the iron glow contemplatively from his anvil, not nearly as hot as he works at it.

Another dip in the furnace later, it’s heated just enough to work out the finishings, and he carefully knocks the ends into a blade. Picking it up with a pair of tongs, he holds it up to a nearby piece of glowstone, grinning at the finished axe head. There’s still quite a bit to do, technically - he still needs to sharpen it along with the other ones he’s finished, as well as fasten them to their handles, but even so - it looks good. He examines it, back and front, against the light. It’s probably his best one yet.

Quackity smiles to himself as he puts it down with the rest, pulling out his calendar from behind him and carefully marking another red X over the date. Learning to torture someone takes a hell of a lot of time, but. Well.

He has all the time in the world.

#tw torture #tw abuse #tw blood #tw death #tw injury #tw violence #tw branding #tw abuse apologism #tw mental deterioration #tw dark content #tw dark imagery #c!quackity critical #not really but i digress #prison arc #pandora's vault #-> my writing #my writing :D #my asks !!#-> my asks

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thecampfirestory · 4 years

Text

FAQ

Important anouncement!!

In the near future this characters will become fully original! But for now we're merely switching the names every now and then to slowly get used to them

You can still call them by their old names, but im writing the changes so people wont be confused!

Dee -> Dee (but now hes ok with everyone calling him by his full name "Amadeus")

Vee -> Vee

Roman -> Florian

Remus -> Cadmus

Patton -> Lawrence (legal name [NOT a deadname]) / Achilles (chosen name)

Logan -> Nate/Nathan

---------------

Welcome to the Campfire AU! This blog gets lots of asks everyday so it can be kind of hard to find the basics of everything. So hopefully this can answer your questions if you’re new to the blog!

The AU doesn’t really have a plot. Just the sides being teens dealing with everyday stuff. The reason of why it’s called Campfire AU it’s because it all started with a comic where they went camping, but in all honestly it isnt even about camping at this point. Whoops!

(I have a in-character blog for Vee! Just for the fun of it lmao its @littlemothsandtinyvees )

What’s the AU about?

Are there any ships?

This AU is 100% platonic! Many people get confused mainly because Dee and Remus are usually kinda flirty with each other. But they’re literally just messing around. Although, Vee and Logan get together in college (If this ship makes you uncomfortable, you can block the ‘’cf!analogical’’ tag!). But besides that, nothing else.

Is Thomas/Remy/Emile/etc in this AU?

Yes, but actually no.

Thomas and his crew are in this AU. BUT!!!! They have a very small, unsignificant role. Kind of like a cameo. They’re some cool yet scary looking monsters that appear on Vee's dreams. Vee also has a bat plushie named Count Joan.

And Remy and Emile are Patton’s super cool toads. They just vibe.

What are the characters in the AU?

Primary characters: Patton, Roman, Logan, Virgil, Janus (who still goes by Dee), and Remus.

Secondary characters: King Creativity (Romulus), The Dragon Witch (DW), Annika (Vee’s biological mom), Celeste (Dee’s biological mom), and Mama and Papa Ruiz (Roman, Remus, and Romulus’ parents), Azariah, Nona, and Poppy (Dee and Remus' group of friends at school)

We dont really talk that much about Logan’s parents nor Patton’s dad, but they’re still there.

Blog’s ‘’Inside Jokes’’

The blog has some inside jokes that newcomers usually dont understand because they’re so bizarre and out of context, so here’s a quick guide. Beware, these are very dumb. I would like to apologize in advance:

The Jirt Dar: Its a jar full of dirt that Vee carries around and makes their friends put their hands inside of it if they catch them swearing.

The Sock Shirt: Remus owns a plain white shirt with the word ‘’sock’’ handwritten. That’s it. I have no idea why people find that hilarious.

Boneless Logan: Logan once had this theory that since he had never broken any bones in the past, he was, in fact, boneless. And still claims it to this day. Before you ask, no. He’s not serious about believing that, he just claims it to annoy or make people laugh. Has he ever broke a bone after that claim? Yes, he has.

‘‘Addy’‘: ‘’Addy’‘ is a nickname Vee has for Dee and it immediately triggers his Big Brother Mode because Vee only calls him that in scenarios when they’re sad, sick, etc.

‘‘Patton with an E‘‘: When Vee and Patton first met, Patton had pointed out their last names where the same, except his had an ‘e’ at the end, and Vee thought it was pretty funny. Nowadays Patton sometimes introduces himself as ‘‘Patton with an E’‘ only to make Vee chuckle.

About OP

Hello! My name is Hay/Danny/OP i really dont mind how you refer to me as. I decided to make a little about me because I feel like I should set some boundaries for the sake of my mental health, basically some "please do not do this" because theyre personally triggering for me or make me uncomfortable.

Please never send asks talking about weight. Its a super triggering subject for me. Im fine if its asks like "Oh everyone lifts (X character) up a lot cause theyre very light" but thats it

Please dont vent in the asks, I have no idea what to do to help and as very empathetic person it stresses me out not being able to help. I am not a therapist

*Sometimes food is a subject that makes me extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes. What im trying to say is that you can send food related asks but if i dont answer it, its because at that moment food is a big no for me. I'll try my best to remember to give a heads up

(* Its totally okay if the subject is only passing. Its if the ask is focused on food what makes me extremely uncomfortable)

(Primary) Characters basic information (full name, age, height, etc)

● Janus Amadeus “Dee” Callaghan

18 years old // 5'10 // Agender/Bisexual // he/him (but doesnt care about pronouns at all)

●Virgil (Vee) Harper Storm

15 years old // 4'9 // Non Binary/Queer/Asexual // they/them (They’re chill with any pronouns though)

*Important Fact: Vee is autistic

●Patton Jonathan Storme

16 years old // 5'8 // Demiboy/Homosexual // he/him and xe/xem

●Logan Keith Rowell

16 years old // 5'5 // Questioning // he/him

●Roman Florian Flynn Ruiz

18 years old // 5'11 // Transgender/Aromantic // he/him

●Remus Amadeus Ruiz

18 years old // 6'2 // Transgender/Homosexual // he/him

Character’s specifics

(Before we start, I’d like to mention that the sides are quite further away from canon. Its called an AU for a reason, if you dont like how they’re portrayed, that’s fine, but please do not complain because, again, its an AU for a reason.)

Patton: Patton is a complicated character. Let’s say hes bittersweet.

Pat has a very complicated relationship with his family, which would be the main reason of his anger issues and poor self esteem. He doesnt have any siblings and his mother left when he was around 9 years old. Leaving him only with his dad. Who is currently the Mayor. As time passed by, Patton as his dad started becoming extremely distant. Patton tried to fix his relationship with his father for a very good while. But nothing seemed to work, so he gave up and nowadays avoids him as much as he can.

At school Patton puts on this happy-go-lucky facade and hes known for being a very sweet and happy guy. Mainly because hes ashamed of the fact that hes, in his words, “an angry person.”

So he tries to come up with a friendly “mask”. Colorful clothes, and round glasses. Because colorful and round things come out as friendly, right?

Patton rarely wears black, unless it something like jeans or shoes. The thought of wearing all black will never cross his mind because hes so desperate to try and come off as a friendly guy.

But with his friends is a whole different story, Patton allows himself to be “his true self”, he allows himself to be mad at some things, he stops repressing the “ugly feelings”, he actually swears, and plays around in a more “rough” way in general. All in good terms, it will never be his intention to hurt his friends.

Facts:

Sophomore in highscool

Vee's best friend. They met each other in 7th grade because Vee was new in school.

He’s on the cheerleading team. Meaning that he’s quite strong, agile, and even flexible. Emphasis on strong. He once broke a guy’s nose because he was harrassing a girl.

Has been doing gymnastics since he was very little

He’s pescetarian. He strongly avoids meat, but still eats fish.

Absolutely loves horror movies, especially old ones. (His all time favorite is Halloween)

Actually has better grades than Logan. He’s a straight A student. Focuses too much on his grades because he wants to get a full scholarship for college.

Ends up majoring in law once he gets to college

Vee: Vee is a rather hyperactive person, and is very into mysterious subjects, such as cryptids, the paranormal, you get the vibe. They aren’t really that anxious, but the anxiety is still there. Especially when it’s about people they don’t know. Once they warm up to you, they barey shut up.

Vee still has some anxiety issues because they were bullied from 3rd grade to 6th grade and never said a word to anyone. Whenever their mom picked them up she’d always notice how sad they looked, sometimes even with puffy eyes from crying. But no matter how hard she tried, Vee would never tell her anything out of pure fear they’d get in trouble. The moment Vee admitted everything, she immediately changed them from that school.

On 7th grade they met Patton, and he was pretty much the one who managed to make Vee come out of their shell, he never forced them to do something they didn’t want to, but he slowly started to introduce them into doing new things that Vee once considered scary.

Vee had made huge progress regarding their self esteem thanks to Pat. And they are now trying to make the exact same thing for Patton.

Facts:

Sophomore in highscool

Patton’s best friend

Dee’s little (step) sibling

Theirs and Dee’s moms were best friends in college (Dee’s dad was also Annika’s childhood friend). So these two have known each other since Vee was born. When they were 11-12 years old, their and Dee’s moms got married.

Even before that, Vee always saw Dee as a big brother.

They keep a dream journal. But if you happen to read it, you’ll realize that what’s written are not dreams, but nightmares. There are some drawings of monsters in some pages, even.

They says that they’re not scared of most of them, though. That they’re used to it.

Ends up majoring in digital animation

Dee: He’s the most calm guy in the whole group. Usually the leader, even. He’s either a very responsible big brother with Vee or an absolute chaotic teenager with Remus. There’s no in between.

Dee has a really hard time trusting people, the only people he genuinely trusts are Remus, Vee, and his moms (Roman, Patton, and Logan are there too, but not as much as the ones mentioned.)

Dee’s parents got divorced when he was around 8. And his and Vee's moms got married when he was 14-15 years old. To this day his relationship with his dad is kind of complicated. He doesnt hate him, but he’s not quite sure how to feel about him. He calls every now and then to check up on him, and he appreciates it, but those calls usually end up with Dee feeling sort of awkward afterwards.

There isn’t much to say about him, mostly because hes very reserved with pretty much everyone. But hey, between us? Hes has a very soft spot for Vee

Facts:

Senior in highschool

Vee’s big (step) brother

Remus’ best friend. They met in 3rd grade and have been inseparable ever since.

The scar around his eye is a burn scar from hot water when he was little (7-9 y/o), and the one on his cheek happened because him and Remus were playing with a knife when they were 14-15.

He knows how to drive, but usually Remus is the one who always does do.

Is on the theatre club. Both as a techie and as an actor

He’s 100% sure that he’s bisexual. But the fact that he has such a hard time trusting people makes it hard for him to imagine himself in a relationship.

Ends up going to college for around two years before he decides to drop out.

Remus: He’s your local hyperactive guy that lives for that sweet, sweet adrenaline. He’s always looking for reckless things to do and he ALWAYS drags Dee to them (not like he minds). But he’s also a very loyal friend, especially to Dee. If he asked Remus for a favor he’d be 100% willing to do ANYTHING without doubts. He’s also highly protective over Vee, Patton, and Logan because theyre the youngest of the group.

His and Roman’s relationship went from horrible to amazing. Him and Roman absolutely despised each other when they were little, if they were put in the same room, 99% of the time they’d end up fighting, as time went by, they started to avoid each other as much as possible, then they kind of tolerated each other, but still never spent much time together. When Remus found Roman chopping his hair off while bawling his eyes out at 2 in the morning, their relationship definitely started to change for the best.

Facts:

Senior in highschool

Roman’s twin, Romulus’ little brother

Dee’s best friend

The scar near his chin is because him and Dee were playing with a knife and both of them got a cut. They called them their “Friendship scars”

Spanish is his first language. But mainly speaks it at family runions, sometimes with his parents, but never with Roman and/or Romulus

Is on the volleyball team

Got top surgery, but doesnt want bottom surgery.

Ends up majoring in mortuary science

Roman: He’s the kindest and sweetest guy in the group. Hes always willing to help and listen to whoever needs it. He’s actually quite popular at school because of the fact that hes so kind. A ray of sunshine. Roman had a very hard time for a good while, but it all crumbled down on him on his freshman year. He felt super lonely, was absolutely lost with who he was as a person and had no idea who he wanted to be, what he wanted to do with his life, etc. He struggled with school and his grades dropped horribly because he had so much in his mind. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate, he just couldnt focus in school. He ended up repeating the year.

Like it was mentioned before, his relationship with Remus went from horrible to amazing. Unfortunately for them, because of this, they barely have childhood memories to look back to. But now they’re trying their best to make up for it. Roman would say that his and Remus relationship got better when Roman repeated his freshman year; Remus apologized to him for a straight hour because he admitted to notice Roman having a hard time, but decided to ignore it because he was “too damn prideful”. After that, little by little, they became closer.

Facts:

Junior in highschool

Remus’ twin. Romulus’ little brother

Logan’s best friend. They met on freshman year (the one that Ro had to re-take)

Spanish is his first language.But mainly speaks it at family runions, sometimes with his parents, but never with Remus and/or Romulus

Is on theatre club. But to contrary belief, he barely takes leading roles.

He absolutely loves to hear Vee ramble about what they enjoy. His grandma used to tell him about the fae folk when he was younger. So unlike everyone in the group, he absolutely understands what Vee is talking about and they can chat for hours about it

Hasn’t had any surgery yet. But wants both top and bottom surgery.

Doesn’t end up going to college, and instead works at his mom’s flower shop alongside Dee

Logan: First things first, while Logan is smart, he isn’t super smart, at least not academically speaking. He has really good grades, but he isn’t a straight A student. People tend to assume he’s a gifted student because of the fact that he skipped a year. But in reality that only happened because he had an advanced reading and writting comprehension so they made him skip first grade.

Logan used to be quite a loner when he was younger, and he was way too serious and cold because of it. When he met Roman, Logan realized that he was actually unhappy back then, and little by little he started to losen up more, joking around and not really minding what people think of it. Now look at him! He’s absolutely chaotic and his favorite hobby is annoying Patton (in a loving way, dont worry.). He still has a somewhat ‘’smart kid’’ reputation at school, but those people in his class are aware that he jokes around every now and then and is actually super chill. He’s known for either fixing people’s laptops/cellphones/tablets or because he can write your essays. He definitely makes money out of both of these things. Unless you’re his friend, he’ll do it for free

Lo’s parents work a lot and travel every now and then because of it. So they are barely home. But they still talk and text quite often. If his parents happen to be travelling, they videochat. But because of this Logan is most of the time alone at home and learned to be VERY independent. Not like he brags about it, but hes kind of proud of it.

Because of his parents always being away, and the fact that Logan is an only child and never had any friends growing up, he learned to do many things in an attempt to fight the boredom, some of those things are cooking, fixing his own laptop, crafts (im talking about, cosplay worthy crafts), origami, among other things.

Facts:

Junior in highschool

Roman’s best friend

He has a job at a videogame store

Yes, he also loves videogames way too much. Sometimes he messes his sleep schedule because he stays up late playing (usually with Patton)

Plays guitar. Learned how to do so one time he was burned out, and his dad suggested he learned something entirely knew, like playing an instrument. Nowadays he really enjoys it and plays very often.

He could learn how to drive. But he 100% prefers using his bike

He actually despises school and complains about it and about how flawed the educational system is on a daily basis

Ends up making a very last minute decision and going to an art school to study music composition instead of economics

PHEW. That was quite a lot. Anyways, if you got to the end of the page, congrats! If you feel like something should be added please do let me know!!

Welcome to the Campfire AU, where the campfire is mostly ours rather than theirs

#FAQ

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