#some days are so incredibly bad

[youdontloveme-yet]

Just dropped my glasses and the anxiety spike was insane.

#like #it's not anything import #important* #but goddamn #anxiety levels have been off the charts in the past 6 months #some days are so incredibly bad #i can barely get out of bed #the smallest things are just so damn scary #and i have to continue convincing myself #that i need to keep up the brave face and be okay #because i can't be breaking down wnen i got people relying on me for emotional support during a time i could never have actual impact on #while i generally just want to fall apart and did #die* #sigh #im tired but i don't even want to start understanding what he's going through #id have probably ended myself by now if i were in his shoes #this is a weird rant #guess i needed to see it out of my system #ra rants #yeah this feels slightly better than just bottling ig

[darubyprincx]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr! #so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn) #anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it. #often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us) #i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts. #so i put it into a spotlight. #ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

[cerise-on-top]

hi<3 if you can, can you do valeria and laswell with a gothic s/o? like someone who likes darker/morbid things and things like that! love your blog by the way! it’s definitely my favorite blog to come look at after a long ass day <333

Hey there! Sorry, but I couldn't really find too much on what counts as dark and morbid in the goth scene, so I wrote more general HCs, I hope that's alright still ^^;

Valeria and Laswell with a Gothic!S/O

Valeria: She’d most definitely be intrigued, but not too much. In all honesty, she doesn’t know too much about the subculture, she’s never really met a goth who was clearly one. However, if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters to her. While she won’t really know too many bands, or any at all, she’d be more than happy to listen to a few if you want her to. Yes, she won’t always have the time, but when she isn’t too busy she could put on some songs by Joy Division or The Cure, she really doesn’t mind. She can vibe to that sort of music, even if it isn’t her favorite. You’re more than welcome to discuss the literature with her, though. She’s probably never read a single gothic literature book, but she can buy you some. Anything from poetry to a regular novel, it’s quite alright. While she won’t be the best person to go to when it comes to discussing those, she’ll support you either way. However, something she could definitely enjoy would be going clothes shopping with you. The fashion is kind of nice, she has to admit, so she’d be more than happy to buy you whatever garments you desire. Will go out of her way to find something you might like as well. I can’t see her being too much into the history of goth culture, though. It’s nice that you are a goth, if you want to tell her about it, then you can and she’ll listen to you, but she likely doesn’t have the time to research everything by herself. Tell her about its roots and she can definitely appreciate you going against what’s mainstream and how it all came to be. She’s a very defiant and rebellious woman herself, so she definitely gets it.

Laswell: She knows so many people, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has worked with goths before. And even if she hasn’t directly, she’s likely seen quite a few walking around the city. She usually grows worried for them in summer since their attire is black, which makes it quite hot. However, she’d be very intrigued by you and your subculture. It’s something very near and dear to you, so she would put in the effort to learn about your history. Will give some classic bands a listen as well. She just really wants to have something to talk about with you. Besides, she gets to learn more about you. While she may not be the biggest fan of your interest in death, considering she’s surrounded by it more often than not, she’d be more than happy to indulge anything else it has to offer. Laswell spent a good chunk of life left alone with her thoughts, so she definitely knows a thing or two about melancholy, the state of the world and introspection. Maybe not in the same way you do, but she can definitely keep up in a conversation. She’s likely also unintentionally read some of the more popular gothic novels out there and liked them, so she’d make for a good discussion partner as well. While she doesn’t particularly understand the need to make your face completely white, she doesn’t mind. In fact, she thinks it looks quite cool, even if it’s not for her. However, the fashion in and of itself looks really good to her. Again, she wouldn’t want to wear it, but something about Victorian and Edwardian fashion has a certain something to it that she can’t quite place. Like Valeria, she’ll definitely buy you things she thinks you might like. Anything from a suit or a corset to a book about poetry. Beware, though, she will read the books before you can.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #I am so incredibly tired so I'm sorry if this is bad #the day I'm writing this is Monday and I worked for nine hours today which wasn't very fun #I'll be working for nine hours tomorrow again and I'm not looking forward to that but I need that overtime #I've never met a goth before so I don't even know anyone I could ask about it #I know an emo or two but that's not the same #still I gave the music a listen and I gotta say it sounds pretty good #I can see Valeria indulging you in your morbid things though. if you collect animal bones she can definitely acquire some #whether it be through roadkill or ethically killed animals #Laswell wouldn't be too big of a fan of having bones at home but she won't stop you either #she'll just tell you to keep them somewhere she won't necessarily have to see them all the time #she's not squeamish but she prefers to not think about death too much outside of work. she gets enough of it on the daily #Laswell would be more media literate than Valeria though. she's definitely analyzed some poems for fun when she was younger #Valeria doesn't have the time to read too much into something. or read a book at all. a poem maybe but that's it she won't read into it

[qsmprambling]

Imagine Egg A1 still has one life left, and it somehow manages to escape the facility... It is being followed by mobs, by Federation employees, being hurt by the poison ivy and other environmental threats, but it keeps running, because what other choice is there? That parkour course was a trick after all, the last block was a fake, it was never meant to pass that test in the first place.

So it keeps running, but the Federation workers are getting closer. It won't be able to avoid them forever...

But then it bursts through some bushes and comes face to face with someone new - and it's Bad, out building or exploring or just wandering alone. A1 is immediately afraid, of course. It is a stranger, a very visually striking stranger, the complete opposite of the pure white and featureless employees of the Federation. But there are people close behind, and it knows what will happen to it if it is caught, so... It has no choice but to try. It has no way to communicate, no signs or books, so it simply rushes to hide behind him and hopes he understands, and that he is willing to help...

And Bad, for his part, well.. he's an extremely cautious and paranoid person, and this is just an incredibly confusing and unexpected situation to be in. An unknown egg appeared out of nowhere and is hiding behind him, he can see Federation employees in the distance that are clearly looking for something... He knows that the code has been disguising itself as eggs, and that the strange egg in front of him with no marks, no distinguishing features, an egg that he has never seen before, could easily be the code monster preparing to attack at any moment...

But there is absolutely no way Bad could ever look at an egg in distress and not try to help it, even knowing it could be a trap.

So he quickly digs a shallow hole and pushes the mysterious egg into it, covering it up just in time, and when the employees throw him a book asking if he had seen anything, he lies effortlessly, he complains about nonsense, he asks them where the Ekea is and is as annoying as he can be, until they leave.

And now they're alone... just Bad an this mystery egg in the middle of the woods, A1 too afraid to leave the hole even when Bad tries to coax it out. He gives it food and tries his best to comfort it, to tell it everything is okay and that the pursuers are gone. He gives it some signs and a book, trying to see if it will write anything to him or answer any of his questions, but he gets no reply. A1 is just too afraid to even attempt to answer, and Bad doesn't even know if it understands him. He tries what few words he does know of the other languages, and still no response.

What should he do? As much as the image of a tiny, terrified egg makes him want to do all he can for it he also needs to be safe. He can't bring it home, because if it is a code there is no way he is bringing it anywhere near Dapper. Should he call someone else for help, or would that draw too much attention? Would it even be safe for him or the egg to let anyone know right now? And was this egg dangerous, or harmless and in need of protection? He wouldn't abandon it regardless but...

What now?

#Egg A1 #badboyhalo #I am a Bad watcher it will always be qBad in my what ifs even if anyone could do it #Plus he is perfect for the job #I can't write fic but yes this is basically an A1 fic oops #ElQuackity you thought killing a featureless egg was a safe option but you're wrong we are all attached #I want A1 to be alive and to escape to be adored and protected #Also I bet if Bad got caught with a mystery egg I think he'd just go 'Huh? No this is my other child you just never saw them before :)' #Also for some reason my brain was calling A1 'Alice' but then I saw people using 'Ai' and that's adorable too~ #Though it also makes me think 'artificial intelligence' but hey maybe that is fitting for the fabricated eggs theory XD #'What now' I ask as if I am not already imagining Bad trying to protect A1 and also be safe in case it is a threat #not wanting to think it is but unable to know otherwise #but also being so BBH about it and just being in complete dad mode when they interact #he keeps it in it's own safe little secure home and does what he can to help it with minimal communication for several days #until A1 starts to open up little by little - incredibly slowly #Bad very gradually telling very select people about it #until eventually when the Federation finds out - everyone who knows is immediately hmm what no this is our child what do you mean? #and go ultra protective #because A1 deserves the world #fic within the tags yes #Bad ruined my sleep schedule and I can't sleep mindless rambles time

[worldsquietestjojosfan]

Mingjue's gaze softens.

"Didi. You are confused. You are misinterpreting brotherly love for romantic interest."

Huaisang clenches his firsts and stares down at the floorboards. His expression morphs into one of pain. He draws in a deep breath.

"Da-ge, please sleep with me." Mingjue's body jerks back at his little brother's words. "If I sleep with you, then I'll know for sure what I'm feeling."

#bro doing anything but organizing her code #my brother says i write like i wasnt allowed to go to school #recently my brother had to do a project for school where he had to pick up a new hobby #he didnt do the assignment and at the last day he was like brother im so fucked help me #so i let him use one of my fanfics for the before and told him to use his own fanfic as an after and present that #his professor told him his improvement was incredible #thats all i have to say #theres something so cringe about when i write #ill write it and be like yeah. and then i read over it and die #unironically i actually run away from my fics. i have never once read them again after finishing #like when i draw. i look at it. im like yeah that part is good that part is bad. pretty mid but its ok. #writing? i turn red and hide from the monster i have created #i think my writing could be lethal. like if i read all my fics one after the other id die from cringe poisoning #i regularly look at my old drawings and cry how much ive regressed. but i can look at them. #one time my friend wanted to torture me so he called me to read my fics out loud. i endorse this as an execution method #shit gets me sweating. i have to get normal about this #some words #wip #the second wip actually #the first one is the saber spirit takes over nmj and he fucks nhs on the training grounds infront of everyone. #second one is nmj is like brother you have to stop being a freak this is getting out of hand and nhs is like nuh-uh. but also how'd you kno #on a side note remember my former student that confessed? yeah well #he proposed marriage

[mintjeru]

if you ever think you'll just "check the members' names and profiles" for a kpop group don't listen to that thought. that's the devil speaking and you Will fall into that fandom face-first

open for better quality | no reposts

#plave #bamby #kpop #fanart #myart #doodle #i got into this group in about an hour?? which is probably record time for me #i was scrolling through the profile of an artist i like and they had plave fanart for a member's recent birthday #and i was like hmmm i've heard of plave but i don't rly know what they're about.. let me check it out #saw all their songs and listened to their cover of d.ay6's 'you were beautiful' and it was immediately Over for me #wdym they can all sing and harmonize that well?? and hit all the high notes?? #leave some skill and talent for the rest of us omg #and i already have a bias as you can see ^^^^^^^^^^^ his little flowers thing is so incredibly cute to me #i'm noticing recently that i have a huge soft spot for gap moe #and so. i was compelled to draw him instead of things i Need to be drawing (again) hehe #watch me catch up on all their videos by the end of the day i'm not even joking i've got it bad here #edit: hours later and i am def a y.ejun stan too #they're all so 💕💕💕

[dimitrscu]

i love spending hours writing only to read it back the next day, cringe, and then delete the whole thing

#this is what i call progress #coming to terms with how awful i am then erasing it from existence before it gets worse #made the terrible mistake last night reading some very opinionated persons comments on the way ppl write and well #they were trying to make it sound like helpful criticism but tbh it only sounded l like hate #kind of like ‘omg ppl who do ‘X’ are just so bad’ #anyway a lot of what they said ended up being incredibly discouraging #like if you don’t write like this then you’re bad kind of thing #the mental torture i put myself through i swear #for years i have wanted nothing more than to actually do something meaningful with myself #even if that means writing or whatever #cause god knows i’ll never be able to draw #but i will never get over this hurdle it seems #i am only ranting so pls ignore #i'm having one of Those days today #just need to get over myself thats all

[kyrri0]

i don't think kanan is good at being alone. he's someone that really greatly benefits from constantly being around other people.

he grew up in the jedi order, a whole community in the same building, he would always be around other younglings, and later on constantly with his master.

and then order 66 happens, and he's (understandably) not doing well, not helped by the fact that he's actually alone with his thoughts for the first time in his life. not that loneliness alone fucked him up but it cant have helped, and probably also created an association between being alone and literally the worst time in his life, being hunted and catastrophising that he'a going to die.

then he meets hera, and he's living in a tiny ship in close quarters with someone else, and he's not alone anymore. he sees hera's conviction to make change in the galaxy and it starts to pull him out of his alcoholism and his despondency and it makes him better. it reminds him that hey its not all terrible doom ahead of us, there are people who believe in a better world, and he wouldn't have reached that point on his own (considering a new dawn is like 7?? years after o66, he was coping he wasn't living). and then again with ezra, he grapples with inadequacy but he's not left to basically sit and brood about how much he sucks. it is partly out of necessity beacuse ezra is depending on him, but also that the expectation of him to do better does make him better, because he doesn't let himself fall into a deeper spiral and it pushes him into believing in himself, and that aids in his ability to actually do the thing and work on himself.

and after malachor, he distances himself. at the start of s3 hera talks to him like he's a stranger, almost, because he stopped opening up and stopped letting himself be part of a family and he made himself alone, and got so bad that bendu had to force an emotional realisation out of him. trauma can obviously manifest and affect people in different ways, and it is realistic that kanan is extremely emotionally affected by everything and doesn't just bounce back like nothing happened, but i do think its significant that when kanan's mental health is terrible the show makes it a point of telling us he's been isolating himself. he's deliberately separating himself from his family. it is a textbook sign of Not Doing Great, but i think it also reflects how well kanan copes when he's on his own. there are people who do perfectly fine or after prolonged periods of not really interacting with people, but i dont think that's kanan. when he's alone he's clouded, he gets lost in his emotions, and its important that other people are there; it reminds him what's important and what he's capable of.

basically i think when he gets left alone for too long it gets much easier for the self doubt to creep in, and he starts contemplating the hopelessness of existence, then he spends 5 minutes with hera and realises his last 2 days worth of brooding was decidedly Not Normal.

#inspired by me getting incredibly depressed during school holidays because i go from daily social interaction to 0 social interaction #its such a noticable pattern for me and i CANNOT sit alone with myself for too long at this point it makes me worse #like yes everyone needs some time alone to think and reflect etc but if i go like more than 3 days #i start actively getting worse #i think kanan is the same he benefits a lot from having other people around him reminding him hey the outside world exists #kanan jarrus #star wars rebels #skribbles ! #its 3.32 am right now and i took a very important 3 hour math exam this morning so if this isnt entirely coherent thats why #and i cant sit and think on this for several hours bc there are more exams to come </3 #i just think being alone is Bad for him #more so than other people

[britneyshakespeare]

Subbing special ed at the middle school slaps. Every class I've had so far is 2-4 students and when we finish the assignment we play Uno

#cont #the more i sub the more i am confirmed in my opinion that i want to be a middle grade teacher #it might be for all i know significantly influenced by how much my local high school is in shambles #the kids have no fucking discipline and are so disrespectful. they don't even try #theyre incredibly selfish in the way teenagers kinda generally are bent to #but the particular system of that school is hopeless. it doesn't make them think of others #they just wanna come to school. do the bare minimum. leave #and i get it. it's a bad school #it's a bad combination of formative years and a failing system #the middle school has a number of issues for certain too but the kids are so much more malleable #they respect authority more. i know that sounds so like conservative but it's not #it's like when i give them instructions or advice they actually consider it rather than taking the quickest way out of it #and they're at such a precious age. it's why some ppl hate this age level but i love it #they really can become anything still but they're getting more curious by the day #when you see occasional callousness or disrespect it's not so confirmed in them yet #and most of all they like to play uno and it's a lot of fun for me

[pointsfortrying]

Ah lads here we go again. Chat, who's going to tell them

#dungeon meshi spoilers #<- for the beloveds #head in hands #when characters are written well (complex) but ppl Neeeed to be able to 'they're a bad person' bc they did a bad thing #failing to realize that literally EVERYONE has done bad things--- #the characters have depth! thats whats compelling!!! #yes this is bc the anime reached toshiro and we are once again seeing the waves of 'i hate shuro he's an awful person' raghhhhhhh #i fucking love laios he's an incredible character but raghhhh #chat they (fandom) don't know about the microaggressions #grahhh cultural differences and arguably clashes of nd bc i can see toshiro also being nd but even if not raghhh #yes toshiro should have handled things better but also laios should have and its wrong to baby either of them raghhh #also toshiro hasnt eaten or slept in days and is all over the place at this point and Laios Even Acknowledges It raghhhhhhhhhhh #raghhhhhhhhhhhh #ghhhhhhh knows that the later scenes will probably hopefully make some ppl better understand but its going to ten ten trillion years to get #there and raghhhhhhh #oh boy i cant wait to see th fucking. racisms. #ghhhhhhhhhh #me when idrc ab toshiro but the sheer scale of hate directed towards him makes me want to blorbo him out of spite rahhhhh #<- me when i have been in situations where im both laios and toshiro and it sucks from both sides #and thats! the! point!!!!!!!!!!!! #you can hurt ppl you care ab!!!!!!!! #grahhhhhhhh #the cultural part is one that just. grah. #ryoko kui does such an incredible job establishing and showing that different cultures exists and just the fandom ignoring that gh. #also stop calling him shuro raghhh <- thats a pet peeve one but god as someone who's irl name has been made fun of #So many times bc it's not 'local'. #ghhhhh laios ily but the panel where you were going 'HUH? SHURO? NICE TO MEET YOU EVERYONE THIS IS SHURO :D'. pain and agony #ryoko kui has absolutely been there before as most asian ppl when white person #<- this was me just having a moment bc goes into tag and sighs. #toshiro you're an asian side character standing in the way of the blorbo mc and blorbo yuri you never stood a chance.....

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT. #anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. #and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone. #i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:(( #honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug. #im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

[milkweedman]

Bought a pair of pants at goodwill earlier but all the ones I've been to have had their changing rooms closed the whole pandemic so couldn't try them on... did pull out my measuring tape that's on my keys and they were pretty much my size, but I have discovered that while they would fit well if they had a normal waistband, they actually have a stretchy waistband (like, strip of elastic sewn the whole way around) and thus are so big that they're falling off me, because their own weight kind of pulls them down so that the cuffs drag on the ground. Unclear if they're intended to be high waisted and just too big or for someone bigger in all dimensions than I am, but not the point.

I've been trying to figure out how to fix this, bc they're very comfy. I kinda wish I could just take out the elastic and do a drawstring but there's 2 buttons and a zipper that would definitely complicate things. Could also wear a belt, if I had one and if they weren't the worst sensory experience since not wearing socks.

#my first pair of pants that wasnt jeans in... potentially ever. probably not tho i bet i had cargo pants at some point #the first that i remember tho. i love jeans but i walked by this section of pants that were all so colorful and was entranced #these are purple... #there might be a way to add further elastic to the back to encourage it not to stretch... #better yet maybe line the waistband and sew thru it and the elastic a lot to try and stop it all from stretching #or most ? i guess if some parts stayed stretchy that might be okay #im incredibly bad at eyeballing whether clothes will fit me or not. i do not know what size my meat suit is at All #my jeans normally have no stretch which is what i need bc otherwise they stretch out so much i start washing them every day #just to try and make wearing them feel consistent so i dont lose my mind #point being no stretch is ideal but these dont seem as robust as jeans so idk if they can necessarily take that #*guy who has only worn jeans* idk not really getting jeans vibes from these pants... #alterations #anyway yes i meticulously measured the inseam and the waist no i didnt try stretching the waist or notice the obvious stretch design #such is life

[topaztimes]

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time... #Still more time... #Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough? #It certainly is now #Alright start: #I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state / #/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not / #/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I / #/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my / #/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with / #/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

[wyrddogs]

One of the biggest reasons I really dislike infant puppies is so much time and energy is dedicated to making sure they get training, and socialization, and playtime, and physical and mental exercise. And you have to be on top of them 100% of the time to make sure they aren't harassing your other dogs or chewing power cords or inventing new ways to kill themselves.

Which means when the infant is down for a nap I have to do my chores or rest, which means that my adult dog and I are not getting the physical exercise we are used to/need. And I'm too tired to give my adult dog the mental exercise he's used to/needs.

So I'm playing with Zaku so he'll be tired enough to nap and Kermit stands a few feet to the side and just barks at me.

Things will get better once I can take this puppy for walks, but man, this first month is rough.

#some people love raising infant puppies #and by god I am not one of them #I will say my puppy blues are not as bad as they were for kermit or bindi #kermit was the worst blues I've ever had #full sobbing every day for weeks #I'm INCREDIBLY anxious with zaku but I've only cried once #not having to manage the bindi/extremely tiny puppy dynamic is making this easier #anyway this post was brought to you by me sitting on the floor with zaku for Designated Bonding Time (tm) #and he jumped up and bit me in the face #and I was like 'boy I am so tired of you right now' #it'll be fine #he'll be an amazing adult #and he's a really great puppy #my patience is just very thin right now #this has been an inane post

[areyoudoingthis]

you know it's entirely possible to get carried away and get lost in the passion and have a great old time even when it's an ill adviced decision that will sink in the next morning right?

#some people continue to ask if ed was coerced or if the sex was bad #I'm so fucking confused #have you never done a stupid thing that was incredibly good and left you emotionally hangover the next day #i recommended trying it #it's a formative experience #it doesn't even have to be sex if you're not into that!!!! #ofmd spoilers

[gayrogues]

there is no fucking way that tom king's shitty oneshot, featuring the most out-of-character riddler known to man and a batman who breaks his no kill rule and waterboards people, got nominated for an eisner award...

#i hate the riddler issue of one bad day so much it's unreal #1. why write a riddler comic if you're gonna be like 'actually he HATES riddles and puzzles and won't be using them anymore' #now he's just some guy who kills people #2. i don't think i need to explain why i hate the concept of batman breaking the no kill rule or waterboarding people #3. trying to make the killing joke relevant again after 30 years? to say that ed was the mastermind behind it? #4. the plot is just. incredibly silly and not in a good way like you're telling me once the riddler stops using riddles he #becomes powerful enough to take over the entire city and batman can't do anything about it except kill him? #and i'm not talking taking over the city like in zero year where there was an actual plan #in one bad day everyone just gets sooo scared of him and his massive brain that they fall in line #5. that is not his fucking backstory #that's like. the complete opposite of it. keeping only the part about him having a shitty dad #he was never a prestigious prep school kid under immense pressure to be the smartest #he was just some kid who went unnoticed by everyone and that's why winning that puzzle contest was so important to him #and then his dad refused to believe he was smart enough to win the contest without cheating and you know the rest #he has a very ordinary backstory that explains a lot about him #meanwhile i feel like tom king was like 'oh shit this series is called one bad day' #'i need to give ed a pivotal moment in his life that made him fucked up and evil' #'how bout i write all this stuff leading up to him brutally killing his teacher at the age of like 15' #and it just sucked ass #i feel like there was more stuff i hated that i'm forgetting but i am not gonna re-read this comic to remember! at least the art was good #oopsie daisy these tags turned out to be much longer than i was expecting - i don't even care about the eisner awards i just saw the #category pop up on the library app that i use and i was like Why is This in here #ransom.txt