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#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo
catkin-morgs-kookaburralover
·
7 months
Text
friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that
#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.
#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.
#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo
#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive
#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started
#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean
#and i am just so sad right now
#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun
#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course
#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as
#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage
#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard
#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade
#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.
#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that
#:((
#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.
#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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