#so what I learned from that whole experience is that haters are stupid and usually nazis and you shouldn’t listen to them and the people who

[imthebadguyyy]

maybe something like interviewer asking her sexist questions and the boys stand up for her , after that interview she feels insecure and the boys comfort her . that's just an idea you don't have to write it !! <33

I hope you like it, and I'm so sorry about the delay 😭 I couldn't find my footing with this one, and I hope it's what you wanted ! Have a lovely day 💙

The One Where They're There For Her

Pairing - One Direction x Reader (6thmember!female!reader)

Fandom - One Direction (Directioners)

Summary - A particularly sexist interview decides to reduce you to just a sexual being and makes no effort to hide his misogyny. But the boys are there to support you.

Warnings - sexualization of the lgbt community, sexist comments, swearing, (honestly I hated myself for writing some of the comments here,and I'm so sorry)

Being a part of the biggest band in the world comes with certain responsibilities. Not responsibilities that come along with signing a recording contract, but those that a person deems themselves responsible for. For example, as the only female in a boyband, a female with a fanbase as large as yours, you took it upon yourself to always stand up for what's right, and to be an ally for the causes close to your heart.

That meant that your social media was often flooded with information about important causes, or your opinions on issues like feminism. Was it always well received? Heck no. There were people filled your feed with hate and comments calling you the most horrible names and labelling you a 'man hater' and a 'bitch' But you didn't let it get to you. On most days. On days like today, it was all you could do to keep it together. It had been a tiring few days, touring, recording, performing and doing an endless amount of interviews and photoshoots. It was safe to say you were on the last of your nerves, having battled your way through a makeup artist who had insisted on pointing out your flaws and had used a shit ton of makeup to cover them up. You had battled a photographer who had not hesitated to tell you that if you didn't look more feminine people would think you were turning into a man.

Before you could retaliate, Paul had dragged him away and told management to cancel the photoshoot, and find another photographer before grabbing the six of you some sandwiches and had let you all go back for a quick power nap at the hotel. Then in about half an hour he had woken you up, to get you ready for another interview. That's how you were here, in a white jumpsuit and a black blazer jacket, paired with black heels. Another day, another interviewer that got on your nerves. But this one, this one was different. This interviewer was different, but also the same. Another misogynistic man who thought he was entitled to stare at your ass and cleavage, and eye fuck you as you settled into a seat in between Niall and Zayn.

Settling in, you crossed one knee over the other, plastering a fake smile onto your face, as the man leaned back in his chair, throwing you a sleazy smirk. Noticing the look, Zayn shifted so you were out of view of the interviewer, but in view of the audience. It was in moments like this that you were a 100× more grateful to have your boys. They were well aware of how sleazy some interviewers could be, having had plenty of experience with them, and Zayn and Louis in particular were very protective about the way you were treated. Squeezing your thigh softly, he leaned back a little, lips settling into a thin line as he looked at the interviewer with a cold look. A little behind, Louis threw the interviewer a dirty look.

"So, One Direction! Congratulations on the album, as you all know its out on November the 22nd, with eighteen new songs, including the singles Night Changes and Steal My Girl Speaking of stealing girls, do you think I could steal your number Y/N? And may I mention, you look ver, very hot in that outfit" The interviewer joked, throwing you what he thought was a sexy smirk. (P.S - it wasn't) Answering with an awkward laugh, you shook your head, as Niall tensed up beside you. "Aww come on, your'e a pretty girl, I'm a handsome guy, let's go out sometime" he pressed on, ignoring the growing anger in Harry's eyes. "That's umm, nice. But no thanks, I'm not going to go out with you" was your answer, as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Picking up on your nervous tic, Zayn moved his hand to rest on your knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down.

"Aww come on baby, what is it? You like girls or something? Because I wouldn't mind being a part of that action either" the sleazebag chuckled, ignoring the disgusted look Liam sent his way. "That's rude" Liam said, while Zayn tightened his grip on your knee. "Oh come on lads, are you telling me the idea doesn't appeal to you? Two women together, mm, makes me all excited just thinking about it, especially if one of them's Y/N" That comment was all it took for Louis to stand up, turning to the man and saying in a voice much rougher than his usual voice, "Alright, that's fuckin' enough, what the fuck is actually wrong with you?" he was backed up by Liam, who stood up, going to tower over the interviewer, whose eyes had lost some of the sleazy look in them. "All you've done since we walked in here is make those disgusting comments about Y/N, and it's sickening. Have some fucking respect" he practically spat.

Behind him, Zayn took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet, noticing the slight glossiness in them, leading you back to the dressing rooms, while Niall, Liam, Louis and Harry stayed back to continue to snap at the interviewer. "That is no way to treat a woman, and not only are you disrespecting her, you also made those god awful events about seeing women together. Your'e a shame to every single person in this room by talking like that" Harry continued, glancing over his shoulder to check if you were okay.

"And no, it doesn't excite us, because we are not assholes, and you are, a disgusting sleaze who does not deserve the job he has. Fuckin loser" Niall chimed in, standing up and storming out. Louis stood up as well, turning to directly face the cameras and the cameramen and sound technicians, who had all looked shocked when the man had made his comments towards you. "I sure as hell hope you have that on record, so you can see just how fucking sexist this industry is to women. Y/N does the same job as us, works just as hard and has the same number of awards, nominations, and records and yet you decide to only focus on her body, clothes, love life and sexuality. Get a fucking life" he spat at the camera, before walking away himself, eventually followed by Harry and Liam, who apologized to the outraged fans before leaving themselves. As they made their way to the dressing rooms they could hear the audience telling the interviewer to apologize to you, their anger at the way you were treated echoing through the building.

Walking in, Harry caught sigh of you curled up in one of the armchairs, with Louis sitting beside you, while Niall and Zayn talked to a furious Paul. "He had no damn right to treat her like shite, and you need to make sure that he knows those comments were un-fuckin-acceptable" Niall was saying, looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him. "And to make those sickening comments about wanting to get action? Can't we sue him for something?" Was Zayn's reply, glancing over his shoulder at you to make sure you were still okay. "We can't sue him, atleast I don't think we can, but I'll have someone let the smug bastard know that he needs to learn how to respect a woman" Paul said, before leaving the room to give the six of you some time together before you had to head back to the hotel.

"How're you feeling darling?" Louis said, moving over and patting your knee so you moved. "I'm okay" you mumbled back, letting Louis settle in next to you, leaning back to rest on his chest. "He had no fuckin right to say any of that, and don't you let it trouble you for a second" Zayn added, pouring out a cup of tea for you and for Louis and Harry. "I don't care about what he said, I couldn't care less, but it was just so frustrating, sitting there and listening to him just sexualize a whole community of people. You've got to be in a really sad place to think of shit like that. That's what annoyed me. You think I give a damn about what he said about my clothes or wanting to take me out on a date? It was the way he was talking, like he was sure any woman would be glad to have him that irked me. He's really tiresome" was your reply, as you reached forward for a sip of your tea. "That's the right attitude love. Haters gonna hate" Harry said.

"I know that. But I just wish I could punch him once, which sounds mean, but he does kind of deserve it" Niall said, earning a laugh from you. Niall was never usually aggressive, and even now, he wasn't particularly rude but it was rare to see him wanting to punch someone. "It's okay Niall, you don't have to. I can do it myself, but I won't" you replied, leaning up to squeeze his hand. "Besides, Ni, if you went and punched him, I'd do it too, and then we'd all go to jail" Liam chimed in, scrolling through his twitter. "Twitter isn't happy either babe. #stopsexualization and #Y/Ndeservesbetter is trending already" he added, showing you his phone. "If it means some of these sexist asses get their heads out of the sand, I'm happy. But I dont want to to think about it now" you replied, cuddling closer to the warmth radiating from Louis's body.

"Okay, we won't talk about it. Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked, standing up and walking to the door "No I want to go to Nando's. Anybody else hungry?" You asked, to nods of assent from the boys. "I'm starving. Those stupid sandwiches didn't fill me up at all" Zayn said, standing up to grab his coat and wallet. "I know and I'm craving some hot Peri Peri chicken with some fries. Do you think they'd let me put the lemon and herb sauce on the fries?" You asked, standing up yourself, earning a laugh from Louis. "Your'e an international superstar babe, I think they'd give you some lemon herb sauce" Liam joked.

Laughing, the six of you made your way to the car, with Harry and Niall squishing you in between them, as Louis sat in the back with Liam, and Zayn sat in the front with Paul (he was driving thank GOD) "I'm proud of you darling" Harry chimed in suddenly. "I am too" Niall added. "You know I am" Louis said, before Liam added "Always babe" and Zayn turned to smile at you before adding, "We are all proud of you, and we always will be, not only because you do a damn good job of not listening to the haters, but because you do what you think is right" "Awh come on, your'e gonna make me cry" you mumbled, leaning into Niall's shoulder. "Almost makes me feel bad for teasing you about having an extremely low spice tolerance the last time we were at Nando's Haz" you smirked, earning a roar of laughter from the boys.

"That chicken was spicy love!" "It was lemon and herb with no peri peri!" "And it was spicy!"

And just like that, you were back to messing around with each other. Sleazy interviewers would come and go, but your boys were always there to support you. Always.

-------

A/N - Thanks for reading ! I'd also like to apologize on the behalf of this fictitious interviewer I made up, I felt so bad while writing some of this 😭 anyways, I hope this is what you wanted! Enjoy !

Tags - @zaynkissbot @gucci-hazza @bxtchboy69

#one direction x reader #one direction x sixth member #one direction imagines #one direction fanfiction #one direction #harry styles x reader #liam payne x reader #louis tomlinson x reader #niall horan x reader #zayn malik x reader #imthebadguyyytags #harry styles #niall horan #liam payne #louis tomlinson #zayn malik

[todomitoukei]

Touya's Trolley Problem

It is January 18 or in other words - Dabi’s birthday. And what better way to celebrate it than by writing a meta no one asked for, one that I’ve made a stupid edit for and had been planning on turning into a post for months but always put it off instead because I can, only for it to perfectly fit in with the current events taking place in the manga.

Introducing: The Touya Trolley Problem.

The trolley problem is a thought experiment in ethics, where one has to choose between saving 5 people that are about to be hit by a trolley, or diverting said trolley and killing 1 person instead. There are two main ethical theories that serve as options for how one decides to react in this situation:

Utilitarianism - basing your actions on how to serve the greater good (thus diverting the trolley and saving the 5 people because 5 is more than 1)

Deontology - basing your actions on whether the action itself is right or wrong rather than focusing on the consequence (thus not diverting the train and sacrificing the 5 people because killing is considered an action that is wrong no matter the consequences)

To give a better example of this, let’s see how this fits in with the current chapters in the manga by looking at this panel from chapter 340:

“The fact that he betrayed society as a whole” - just as a reminder, Aoyama’s family was threatened by the biggest villain of the country and are now punished for not simply letting themselves be killed by him for the sake of society. In other words, the hero side uses the utilitarian approach to decide how to act, which we see on other occasions too, like Hawks or Endeavor getting away with what would normally be considered heinous crimes, due to them being heroes and thus saving more people than they have abused or killed.

This is also an argument often made within the fandom to excuse those exact crimes (i.e. Hawks killing Twice being justified because otherwise, the latter could have caused more destruction and gotten people killed with his quirk).

To summarize - the hero side heavily aligns with utilitarianism, the belief that the greater good for the greater number of people dictates how to act.

In a 2013 survey, it was found that almost 70% of the participants would divert the trolley, thus killing the 1 person and agreeing with the utilitarian theory. However, the experiment usually doesn’t end there. In some versions, the 5 people will remain random people, while the 1 person is now someone you personally know and care about. In this case, people often start to struggle as it’s usually harder for people to just sacrifice someone they love for people they don’t even know.

But how does all that relate to Dabi?

Well, to sum it up, I made this edit to visualize it:

People (=Dabi haters) will go around and act like Dabi’s and Endeavor’s crimes are somehow comparable and that Dabi chose to be a villain because he was born that way when in reality, those crimes have completely different origins. Endeavor suffers from an inferiority complex so big that he gave up on his immense goal of being the number one hero after just a few years of trying and instead of learning to accept that this position isn’t in reach for him in such a short amount of time, he did the next - certainly not logical - step of buying a wife and forcing her to have kids with him to use as tools and live his dreams through them, not shying away from cold-heartedly neglecting them when they weren’t good enough.

Touya, on the other hand, was just a kid that - just like every other kid - wanted and needed his parents’ love and attention, and naturally, not receiving those basic needs had their effect on him. So when looking at Dabi and how his existence as a villain came to be, it’s not entirely incorrect to say that he chose to become a villain. However, he chose to become a villain just like how Aoyama and his family chose to “betray society as a whole” - by choosing not to get killed by AFO. Sure, they did make that choice. Hopefully, we can all agree, though, that being held at gunpoint isn’t going to accurately reflect how people would normally choose.

In the case of Touya’s Trolley Problem, the experiment takes place sometime after his accident, once he was well enough to make a conscious decision concerning his future. While we haven’t gotten more details regarding that time of his life and his thought process, the trolley problem shows the dilemma he faced at some point during those ten years.

Here, the greater good - or the 5 people as per the original version - is society, so similarly to how Aoyama “betrayed society” by choosing to live, Touya becoming a villain also means betraying and in parts sacrificing society.

On the other hand, the 1 person is Touya.

At the same time, Touya is also the one in control of where the trolley goes as he is the one making the decision.

So instead of having to choose between saving 1 or 5 people, he can either save himself or society.

The reason for this is that he could have returned to his family and risk possibly dying as he continued to try to prove himself to his dad. Considering he had already been hurting himself with his training for years and years on end, it's unlikely to assume the accident would have changed this unhealthy behavior when still not receiving the support system from adults that he needed. This would have most likely led to him actually dying sooner or later. Even if he somehow did manage to never die in the process, his mental health would have only worsened over time even more possibly damaging all the relationships in his life, etc.

Society would benefit from this though, as he then would not have become a villain and joined the lov. Obviously, there are other villains that also cause harm and destruction, but especially considering the release of his broadcast, he sure played a big role in the current chaotic state of the country.

The other option was to not return and instead avenge himself by becoming Dabi the villain and thus disregarding the peace in society. Touya lives on, but society suffers the consequences. This is the option he ended up choosing.

Going by the utilitarian approach, Touya should have chosen to die in order to maintain society’s rather peaceful state and not disrupt Endeavor’s improved approval rate by society as the number one hero. It’s just one life vs. the rest of the country. Could an individual really be worth that much?

On the flip side, one might ask whether society could really be worth that much. Individuals exist either way, yet society is a man-made concept, which in turn begs the question as to why it was created in the first place and what would make it worth protecting.

The “Social contract” is a theory in philosophy stating that an individual’s morals depend on the rules the society they live in is built on. One notable philosopher that talked about this theory was Thomas Hobbes (bolded + italicized for better readability):

According to Hobbes, the justification for political obligation is this: given that men are naturally self-interested, yet they are rational, they will choose to submit to the authority of a Sovereign in order to be able to live in a civil society, which is conducive to their own interests. Hobbes argues for this by imagining men in their natural state, or in other words, the State of Nature. In the State of Nature, which is purely hypothetical according to Hobbes, men are naturally and exclusively self-interested, they are more or less equal to one another, (even the strongest man can be killed in his sleep), there are limited resources, and yet there is no power able to force men to cooperate. Given these conditions in the State of Nature, Hobbes concludes that the State of Nature would be unbearably brutal. In the State of Nature, every person is always in fear of losing his life to another. They have no capacity to ensure the long-term satisfaction of their needs or desires. No long-term or complex cooperation is possible because the State of Nature can be aptly described as a state of utter distrust. Given Hobbes’ reasonable assumption that most people want first and foremost to avoid their own deaths, he concludes that the State of Nature is the worst possible situation in which men can find themselves. It is the state of perpetual and unavoidable war.

The situation is not, however, hopeless. Because men are reasonable, they can see their way out of such a state by recognizing the laws of nature, which show them the means by which to escape the State of Nature and create a civil society. The first and most important law of nature commands that each man be willing to pursue peace when others are willing to do the same, all the while retaining the right to continue to pursue war when others do not pursue peace. Being reasonable, and recognizing the rationality of this basic precept of reason, men can be expected to construct a Social Contract that will afford them a life other than that available to them in the State of Nature.

Going by this logic, wouldn’t a society that fails to ensure the things mentioned above, also be failing the individuals in it? It would fail its main purpose and with that become useless. So rather than Touya choosing to live and become a villain meaning that he betrayed society, it’s actually the other way around.

This is supported by the part stating that the members of society are “retaining the right to continue to pursue war when others do not pursue peace” - meaning he, and others like him, have every right to be villains because other members of society didn’t pursue peace when they abused, neglected, and discriminated against Touya and the rest of the lov.

In a state like that, a greater quantity becomes meaningless to the person making this decision - in this case, Touya - because why should he care to protect a dysfunctional society, rather than himself?

Furthermore, different from the classic trolley problem, in this scenario choosing to sacrifice himself would mean that Touya dies, whilst choosing to sacrifice society would not mean for all the people in that society to die. Instead, the way that society is functioning at that moment is being damaged, but not damaged enough to not be rebuilt again in an improved way, meaning that it’s not a total loss.

With that in mind, saving an individual’s life over a mere, already flawed concept becomes an obvious and easy choice.

In conclusion, while at first, it might seem natural to choose the greater good, when taking a closer look that logic quickly fades away as the greater good doesn’t provide much reason for being worth protecting, especially from Touya’s point of view, when society was the reason he became part of the trolley problem in the first place.

It is his right, then, to fight back and choose to live, rather than to let himself be killed as a sacrifice to ensure a continued false sense of security a society protected by abusers and murderers is providing. With that choice, at least society still stands a chance, whereas the other option only results in the death of a child that deserved so much better.

Or to put it simply: Touya is right and society had already failed before that decision anyway.

#anyway happy birthday king #i think he should hit more people with that trolley actually #dabi #meta #todoroki #touya #mine #bnha

[realcube]

the heart || kei tsukishima x reader

 summary: modern au! you and tsukishima are supposed to dissect a lamb heart in biology but it doesn’t go to plan

tw// cussing, the dissection of a lamb heart, blood, biology 🤢

my excuse: this is based on a true story and i wrote it at like 3am - read at your own expense. this is probably the worst piece i’ve every written.

“Geez, why are you complaining? You literally just play Cool Maths Games during every period of Biology and now that we actually have to do something you become a whiny bitch.” Tsukishima clicked his tongue, slipping his phone back into his pocket while adjusting his headphones so they hung around his neck, rather than having to take them off because they were apart of his look at this point.

You tossed your head back upon hearing the news that you’d actually have to do something in class for a change, “Exactly! Biology is supposed to be the one class where I am not bombarded with work. Just last period, I drew at least fifty stupid fucking graphs! For what? To find x? To hell with your x !” You cried, running a hand through your hair to make sure you didn’t mess it up because you spent way too long straightening it this morning for a swift movement of your neck to mess it all up. 

Tsukishima sighed, hesitantly rubbing your back as you genuinely seemed quite stressed, “It’ll be fine, and it’s not like we’re learning anything new. We have already studied the heart, I think it was last year; we’re only doing the experiment now because we couldn’t to do it last year for some reason.” Tsukishima mumbled, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he noticed that he was doing a decent job of reassuring you as your hair was no long standing on its ends. 

“Plus,” He said, flicking his pencil with his fingers, “This’ll be cool! The heart is quite an interesting organ, it’ll be fun to actually get hands-on and see the chambers and valves up close, don’t you think?” He added, seeming a bit too enthusiastic about dissecting a lamb heart - it was kinda creepy.

After you finished loudly judging him, you pulled out your phone from your pocket and absently went to snapchat, to send your streaks. “Yeah, whatever. Get in ‘ere with me Tsukishima, will you?” It was hardly a request as before he even had time to process what you had just asked him, you had taken a selfie of you and him with the indie filter, wrote ‘streaks’ on it and sent it to your whole best friend’s list. 

It took him a moment to react to what you just did but when he noticed you typing away to your friend, he let out a breathy sigh. Usually, he’d be fuming by your action but he had to admit, he looked pretty good in that picture - especially because he barely had any nice candid photos of himself. “Send that to me - but without the stupid caption.” Was all he could be bothered to utter.

You hummed in agreement, “Will do.” You replied, immediately finding the photo in your saved pictures and scrolling down your friends list until you found Tsukishima; he wasn’t too low down since you recently asked him for the answers to the Maths homework - he said no, of course, but it was worth a shot.

“I’m feeling kinda bummed so y’know what I am gonna do?” You spoke and without giving Tsukishima a moment to respond, you answered your own question. “Check your Snapchat username, it always makes him laugh.”

Tsukishima’s blood ran cold and his eyes widened at the mention of his username on Snapchat, “(Y/N). Do not--”

“Dinoguykei!” You exclaimed rather loudly, tears of joy pricking at the corners of your eyes as you cackled upon repeating his username to yourself - absolute gold.

“I was, like, 11 when I made it! Give me a break.” He spat, sticking out his bottom lip momentarily before pulling his headphones back over his head to clasp his ears so he no longer had to listen to your ‘annoying-ass laugh’, as he called it. There was clearly no music playing from his headphones and he acted as if he couldn’t hear you when he had them on despite the fact that they were clearly not noise-cancelling - this was a move he pulled often which you liked to call ‘blocking out the a haters’ as he would do that exact thing whenever you said something to displease him..

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow, flicking his fake-ass SOMY headphones but since they were made of wurtzite boron nitride or something like that, they hit you right back, resulting in your hissing and quickly pulling your hand away. “Do you think that your crusty, dollar store headphones can prevent my noise from reaching your ears? I think the fuck not.” 

“I-”

“If you want me to buy you new ones, just ask. How much were they? Or are they hend-me-downs?” You inquired without missing a beat, it wasn’t often that you managed to tease Tsukishima which such flow consecutively so you were obviously going to make to most of this opportunity while you had it.

“They are from the dollar store but I didn’t buy them.” Tsukishima mumbled but loud enough for you to hear, he lowered his head and desperately tried to resist the sly grin which tugged at the corners of his lips as all the memories came flooding back to him. “You were there, weren’t you?” 

“No.” You replied simply but immediately realising what Tsukishima was talking about and leaning in closer to him, “Is Tsukki a criminal?” You sung while wiggling your eyebrow playfully at him. 

Tsukishima scoffed, once again lowering his headphones from his ears back down to his neck. “As if you aren’t, with all the stuff you stole from the supermarket.” He hissed while trying not to laugh as he recalled the time you tried to sneak out passed security by shoving food under your shirt so you looked pregnant - and they fucking fell for it! Or  maybe they were just too lazy to bother calling you out, either way you got away with it though. “And this is what you said before bolting out of Forever21 with sunglasses in your bra - verbatim: ‘If it is a chain, it’s free rein.’.” 

You wiped an imaginary tear from your eye as you heard those words leave Tsukishima’s mouth, “Beautiful-” You mused, about to go on to tell him about the other economic benefits of stealing from large corporations until he cut you off to correct you as always.

“So, you were wrong. These headphones were not a dollar, they were free.” 

Of course, Tsukishima never talks to you without the intend of either insulting you or proving your wrong in some way/argue with you. So why would this be any exception?

“Anyway,” Tsukishima began, his gaze shifting around the room rapidly in search of the biology teacher, “Where is that bitch? I’m ready to dissect the fuck out of that lamb heart if he just gets his ass over here immediately. He always does this.” Tsukishima huffed as this was far from the first time he had been let down by the biology teacher, as well as all of his classmates.

In fact, the whole class had basically mutually agreed that the biology teacher was shit as almost everyone in the class was failing due to his horrible teaching - or lack there of. Tsukishima was the only one passing because he had a tutor but he was still averaging 60% - a C - which was way too low for his liking. 

Also, the biology teacher had a habit of making false promises - for instance, there was that one time he said the class could use whiteboards to create model cells so he rushed out the room to ‘go get the whiteboards’ and didn’t come back. Instead of getting the whiteboards, there was a rumour going around the school that - with the assistance a foreign language teacher - he conducted a different kind of biological experiment in the janitor’s cupboard. 

Be that as it may, all my homies hated the biology teacher..until today, when he actually pulled through with the goods.

He came marching into the class holding a pale bag filled with a dark, red substance and quickly placed it on his desk. “Right, troops. Get yourself a partner, come ‘ere and grab a lamb heart then remove the tricuspid valve for me, will ya?” He panted, rubbing his forehead and bringing attention to his bright red face. He was seemingly out of breath yet nobody has ever seen him run before; was he that tired from walking to the storage cupboard and back?

“Sir, do we dissect it with out hands or?”

The teacher shrugged, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder before rushing out of the room. “I don’t know, sure? Or maybe use a spatula or something. Right, BRB, guys.” Just like that, he was gone. Probably to go rail Tsukishima’ foreign language teacher in the privacy of his own home or something. ‘Ew.’ Tsukki shuddered at the thought. 

“I’ll go get us a heart.” He said, getting up from his chair and about to make his way over to the teacher’s desk until you giggled, asking, “Who said I wanted to partner up with you?” 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, checking the time on his phone and spoke without averting his gaze from the path in front of him, “You’ve not got much of a choice.” With that, he slinked off to the front of the class to grab a heart and hopefully a spatula too. 

Your mouth was left agape at his comment, mostly because you were unable to decipher what he meant by that; curse his naturally sarcastic-sounding tone! Perhaps that was his way of trying to hit on you by saying he wouldn’t allow you to partner up with anybody else - or it could be a jab at the fact everyone in this class hates you for one reason or another.

“Some knob took the last spatula so I guess you’re using your hands.” He grumbled, dumping the heart which was packed in a thin, clear plastic bag onto your desk. Crossing his arms over his chest before sitting back down at his own table, pulling out his phone and about to start playing some music until you realised what he was trying to do and instinctively flicked his arm.

“What?” He hissed, jerking his head around to shoot you a deadly glare. You stuck your bottom lip out to form a pout but then you remembered that he finds your pouty face funny and right now you were trying to be intimidating so you quickly switched to a scowl. “You’re the one who wanted to dissect the stupid thing, you do it!” You roared, slamming the lamb heart onto his desk then leaned back in your chair, folding you arms over your chest in a bad-tempered manor.

Tsukishima’s expression softened slightly as he looked over, doing his best to stifle a chuckle at how silly you looked with a scowl on your face - like grumpy cat, in a way. “Why are you so mad?” He asked monotonously, shifting his gaze onto the heart on his desk, hesitantly reaching out to unzip the plastic bag which it was packed inside. 

You shrugged your shoulders, biting your lip as you looked down at your hands, shocked at how white your knuckles had become from holding a fist for so long. “My bad, Tsukki.” You said in a low voice, embarrassed at how his simple actions had pissed you off so much. “I guess I am just kinda frustrated with this whole class - mostly the teacher. I mean, we’re literally all doing horribly and instead of helping he just gives us a fucking lamb heart to dissect like what good does that--”

Suddenly, you felt something cold and slimy splat against your elbow, leading to a small gasp escaping your mouth as you instinctively whipped your head over to see what it was - however, as soon as you laid your eyes on it, you wished that you hadn’t. 

A high-pitched shriek left your mouth, immediately gaining the attention of almost the whole class but once the turned heads realised how uneventful the situation actually was, they went back to what they were doing prior to your scream. 

Tsukishima winced slightly in reaction to the shrill sound that left your mouth - “Oh, shut up.” He snapped, rolling his eyes at your - in his opinion - melodramatic reaction. “It’s just a bit of lamb heart; here, I’ll get it off for you.”

As soon as you realised what you had just done and the reaction it had evoked, you slapped your spare hand over your mouth but without averting your gaze from the god-forsaken piece of meat which clung committedly to your forearm. “Tsukki.” You tried to sound angry but the fear was still clear in your voice, “Why would you do that?” Although you hadn’t seen him do the deed, you were almost 100% this was the work of him flicking the wretched lamb muscle onto your arm - this theory was reinforced by the fact the plastic bag was lying wide open on his desk.

Tsukishima laughed, leaning over to pick the bit of heart off of your arm then proceeded to flick it away to some other poor soul’s desk. “There we go. Happy now?” 

You growled - something your friend had taught you to do whenever you were mad - shooting daggers at the lanky megane sitting in front of you while he wore a sly grin which just made you want to punch him right on the nose. “What the fuck was that for?” You snarled, “You know how much I hate blood.”

Tsukishima wheezed, he genuinely couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not, “Then what are you doing in a biology class?” His question was barely audible through his gasps for as well as the sound of him slapping him knee.

You clicked your tongue, wiping the excess lamb juice off of your arm, “Joking.” You droned, turning to eye the heart on his desk. “Go on, dissect the thing.”

#tsukishima x reader

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

14. Exposing the Void Pt. 2

So, okay... This chapter kinda fucked me up and I rush edited because like... I just want to get past this whole thing. I think it’s important to note that outside of 10 episodes, the concepts we were given in I.T. would be drawn out a little longer and take more time to impact the characters and also for them to deal with and go through. So, as I warned previously, rough content ahead. 

Word count 5331 Trigger warnings: Gas lighting,revenge porn, slut shaming, mental abuse,ableist terminology,violence

Previous

It couldn't really just be in her head, right? Had the opinions of strangers made her THAT far away from reality? Simon definitely “liked” every single comment where someone was being mean to her this morning… but by the time she asked him about it, none of the comments were liked. She knew she didn't imagine it. It happened for a few days before she flat out asked, "Are you fuckin' with me, Dude?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"With this liking the comments thing you've been doing, then undoing?" He stared at her like he was worried about her. "It's not funny. If you keep doing that, I'm gonna block you." 

He furrowed his eyebrows and rolled his eyes, turning away from her. "Maybe you need to take a break from social media. It's getting to you." 

It wasn't "getting to" her! HE was getting to her. Playing these games that she was unsure of why he wanted to mess with her like that. He knew she was sensitive about criticisms. To like the comments? Then unlike them later, so she felt crazy?? Wait… Grace… this is Simon. Why would he do that to you? Maybe you DO need to take a break from social media.

Her parents seemed as happy as she would expect about her wanting to go to college to get more pulp for her performance arts. They weren't easily excited, so their small approval was enough for her. 

But… for whatever reason… Simon had talked to them about her issues with the Internet and after a long lecture about how they didn’t raise her to be weak and insecure, she was really at her wits end with Simon. She didn’t say it, but she was pretty irritated about it, to the point that she found herself snapping at him over things, then regretting it when he looked taken aback and hurt. Sometimes, she would see a flicker of anger and expect him to explode, so that they could finally just have their fight and be done with it… but he would always just turn off his reaction, which was probably something that he learned from her, but boy was it infuriating for her to go through. 

If SHE fussed after he had diffused things, then she knew that she would be being a bitch. So, she simply choked down the anger and got over it after a little while. It’s just that those moments were frequent enough that it soon felt better to not even speak to Simon at all.

She signed up for talent shows and amateur night spots. She went on auditions for local productions. She threw herself into recitals and built her resume. She shut Simon out and focused on her skills for the future. Despite the fact that Simon was equally busy, she found that he managed to always be at her house whenever he wasn’t busy. They weren’t even kicking it as much. Usually, he was with her parents. 

She would come home and chime, “I’m home!” And Simon would say, “Welcome home!” from another room. At first, she would go to greet him, give him a kiss, and speak to her parents, but closer to spring, she didn’t even announce whenever she got in. She came in, listened to see if she heard his voice in the house (usually did), and she would go to her room and start working on whatever music project she was into.

Followers were asking her for new content, but she’d always just say, “I’m working on something.” She would see the chats though - the sorrow and fear of fans that the haters had scared her away from the industry. She would turn on Summer Walker, Ari Lennox, Cleo Sol, Quin, Sza… She would let them sing comfort and confidence into her while she got washed up and set up to work. She would know that she was influenced by their work, but try not to just copy any of them. Plus, she added much more bass to anything that she made. She practiced rapping sometimes, but she often felt silly and knew that she would sound like a Kids Bop album if she actually tried to record her rapping. But, in certain songs, she was able to get away with distorting her voice a little and making portions of the rap match with the songs.

She liked to experiment with various styles, make beats, have a vibey sound that you could also shake to. “Black hippy girl with funk and soul, that’s mellow, but you can groove to it,” was how she tried to describe her work. There wasn’t a genre that really captured it well.

She worked on covers of songs, and made videos like Todrick Hall did, where she put together a cover singing multiple parts… but she didn’t want to share them and be accused of copying. She was copying, but only to see how her own would be. She rented studio time to do demos. 

She came out of the studio one night, mentally preparing to go home and see Simon there with her parents, but he was outside when she came out. It startled her, but she smiled and said, “Hey… didn’t expect to see you here!”

“Doesn’t seem like you ever expect to see me,” he said, emotionless. 

“Yeah. You’re usually SUPER BUSY with my parents,” she said bitterly, but cheerfully.

“Are you still mad that I told them about your Internet problems?” 

“No. I just think it's weird how much time you spend around them. They’re my parents and I don’t even spend that much time around them.” He sighed, annoyed. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“This is the third night that you’ve been here and left roughly at the same time. If anybody is watching you, they might know your pattern. You should be more careful. You’ll make it easy for enemies to hurt you.” It was a weird thing to say, she had to admit. It creeped her out. His tone and the suggestion, BUT, it also was Simon, who was naturally paranoid, protective, and proactive. So, she figured that he was in worried boyfriend mode and got into the car with him.

Simon wasn’t around her parents as much for a few days. She had some peace, but also had time to think about how much she missed him. She even beat herself up a little and reminded herself that she KNEW this would happen. This was why she didn’t want them to date in the first place. It had ruined their friendship! 

She texted him: Hey. I miss you.

Simon: Just a few days ago you didn’t even want to say hi when you came home.

Grace: I mean… I miss you being my friend. We’re where I was afraid we’d be if we dated.

Simon:... Do you want to break up with me???

Simon: Because a text isn’t a nice way to do that.

Simon: And this is a really bad time.

Simon: DO YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME?

Grace: No. I just want my friend back.

Simon: I want my friend back too. But, you’re the one who changed, Grace. Not me.

Grace: I thought all of my changes were positive, though. So… why didn’t they bring us closer together?

Simon: (Read) 

She didn’t hear back from him until the middle of the night, when her phone rang, but she missed his calls. She usually was a pretty heavy sleeper, and she took melatonin, because she could never seem to go to bed at night. 17 missed calls by morning and she called him back first thing. “Simon? Is everything okay?” 

Simon looked at his bloodied knuckles and lied, “Yeah. Sorry I called so much last night. I figured you’d be asleep, but I just… needed my friend.”

“What happened?”

“I got into a fight with my dad.”

“He’s home? What was the fight about?”

“I accidentally knocked something down in his workroom and I never picked it up. Listen, I know that you hate me spending time around your parents, but could I crash there a few nights?”

“Yes! Of course!”

“Thanks.” he hung up and looked at his father, who was drunk and passed out, his face pounded in from Simon’s fists. He might be stuck on that couch for a while. He might not even remember the fight that they had the previous night. But, Simon made sure to let out every portion of rage that he ever had towards the man. Surprisingly, it gave him clarity on some things. He had been struggling with whether or not he intended to destroy Grace. She seemed to be coming around in her texts last night. Maybe… he could forgive her. Maybe they could make things work. Even if he couldn’t have her, maybe he could have his friend back. He was going to spend a few night there and try to assess everything. 

.

Thursday through Sunday bliss for Grace. By Monday, as she sat in class, sniffling, her tissues now wet beyond repair, she still couldn’t wrap her head around what had happened. Simon said that he must’ve left his web cam going from when he was practicing his arguments for an upcoming debate. It was important, because they were nearing the end of the school year and this one one of the final debates. 

She hadn’t even planned on anything happening between them, but they had been doing so horribly lately and she wanted, more than anything to just feel like she was on his good side again. Hell, sex wasn’t the worst thing a person could do and she had done far more for Simon in her life. So, though it took her a moment to settle herself into being comfortable with it, it wasn’t like she was morally opposed or even repulsed by it. She didn’t have urges, but her parts worked. With enough focus, she knew she could enjoy it and perhaps it was stupid of her to think that it would or could fix anything, but she at least hoped it might help.

Monday morning, everyone was looking at her strangely. Some laughed when she passed. Some whispered. NOBODY seemed threatened. Shana finally broke the silence with a very loud announcement of, “Good Morning, Internet’s Honeypot!” Everyone laughed. That wasn’t funny. 

She rolled her eyes, but approached Shana. “What are you so cheery about?”

Shana feigned shock and asked, “Oh, you don’t know, Give It Up Grace? It seems that somebody was naughty over the weekend. I’d even say, downright NASTY!” The girls with Shana started laughing and didn’t stop whenever Grace threw them a warning glare.

Something was wrong with this picture. “What are you talking about, Shana?” 

“Your boyfriend says that somebody stole his laptop this morning from the journalism room. A likely story. He’s the only thief in this school. But, whatever the truth is about that, this certainly is authentic,” Shana turned her phone to show Grace what was very clearly her, in a very personal situation with Simon. You couldn’t really see him, but she was certain that anybody who saw this could make him out. She slapped the phone out of Shana’s hand and rushed away. Every pair of eyes that fell upon her seemed to know… they all must’ve seen it. Where was Simon? Had he DONE this to her? She checked the journalism room, where he was talking to a group of boys who she knew weren’t even in journalism… “Simon!” She called.

The boys all began hushed laughter and Simon smiled at her, kicked one’s chair and warned him, “Knock it off.” He met her at the door and she was breathing hard. “You… okay?” 

“No! Have you not seen that recording? A recording, mind you, that I didn’t know about nor consent to! Simon, PLEASE tell me that you didn’t record us without checking with me… Tell me that somebody who has it out for me hid a camera or something and…”

“What are you talking about Grace?”  He asked. She studied his face. If there was anything that he should be worried about, there was no sign of it on his face. 

“Shana said that your laptop got stolen,” she said. “Was there anything on it that you need to tell me about?”

He blushed, “I mean… I do have quite a porn collection,” he said, laughing. “And I found it! I’d apparently just left it in the library. Why?”

“Did you record us this weekend? Yes, or no?”

He furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed, “Is that something that you think I’m capable of?”

The conversation went in circles of her insisting that SOMEONE recorded them and him finally going through his laptop to see the video in question, then denying realizing that he had done this. But, since he left his laptop in the library, anybody could have sent it out. “Why would I do this, Grace? You worshiped me in the moments following this, why would I use it against you?”

“I don’t know!” She squealed, crying and embarrassed and now guilty because she had accused him. He gave her a hug and she cried on him. He walked her to class, but he didn’t seem to mind the whispers that were echoing in her head as they passed people. But, he was a boy.

Nobody was judging him the way that they were judging her. She would hear details like, “You can see that he’s not even wearing protection! She has no self respect.” or “I don’t think he pulled out. Good thing her family can afford abortions.” Then there was Shana. Shana had been waiting YEARS to knock Grace off of her pedestal, and she took every chance she got to do just that. 

“Ooop. Backshots Ballerina in the building, Girls!” or “Mommy in the Making Monroe has arrived!” The worst part was that Simon wasn’t defending her. He wasn’t telling Shana to shut her fucking mouth. He wasn’t glaring at people laughing at her. He… seemed to be enjoying the attention. Then again, the attention he got was positive. She saw guys fist bump him and clap him on the back. She saw him laughing with people and them all quiet down when she approached. Simon always had an excuse as for why - none of which were related to “this obsession of yours.” 

This obsession? The entire student body had seen her entire body. It was circulating and they were shaming her for a private moment she shared with someone she loved… and he wasn’t even phased by it. Did he even fucking love her??? Was this typical boy bullshit? 

“You know Grace, your insecurity was cute at first, but now it’s starting to become pathetic,” Simon said. “You’re a public figure. People will always have something to say about you. Suck it up.” She slapped him in the face and stormed off, equal parts satisfied and mortified that she had reacted that way. She didn’t see the smile on his face as he rubbed his cheek. He was breaking the void down. She was losing respect and she was losing her cool. It had been so long since she reacted in violence. It kinda turned him on. It was like seeing old her for a moment. Even if it was directed at him.

.

Maybe she could get on a train and just leave town. Cash in her trust fund, buy a bungalow. Never look back… “Grace?” a boy’s voice said. She turned to see one of the Apex dudes. He bowed his head and she tapped her right cheek with two fingers. He came forward and held a sunflower in his hand. “I’m sorry that you’re having such a bad day,” he said and extended it to her.

“What is this?” 

He looked confused. “Tribute.”

“We’re still doing that? Nobody has said a word to me all day…”

“Is the Apex over?” he asked.

She sighed and took the flower, shrugged her shoulders and said, “I guess it can live on with Simon. I’m… done with everything in this place.” Tears welled in her eyes and he reached out to offer her a hug. She accepted. Graham? Grant? Was the first person, Simon included, to be nice to her about this thing that she was going through. It was short lived. Simon appeared out of nowhere and before she could think or speak, had the kid by the collar and slammed into the lockers.

“Who do you think you are?” Simon asked him, baring his teeth.

“Simon! That’s Graham! He’s Apex. He was just checking on me!” She said and pulled on Simon’s shoulder. 

Simon pressed his forehead to Graham’s and he said, “If I ever see you touch her again, you’ll give your right hand as tribute to me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Simon. Understood Simon!”

“She’s. Mine.”

“I know, Simon. I’m sorry, Simon.” Simon shoved him and he rushed away. Simon raised an eyebrow and looked at Grace, expecting her to scold him for it. That’s what she was good for these days. 

She looked relieved, though. She rushed into his arms and collapsed onto his chest. “I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.” She looked up into his eyes. They still weren’t soft like they used to be, but he had a bit of a smile on his face as he collected her.

“You never have to worry about that.” She squeezed him tightly and cried on his chest. He wanted to tell her to stop it. That people could see her and that she looked weak to them. But… that was the whole point of doing this to her in the first place. 

Grace took a few days off of school. Simon brought her homework assignments. She was in bed most of the time. She wasn’t creating. She wasn’t living. She was sort of wasting away. Fortunately, so far the video scandal was being kept among the students, but she lay in waiting for when it went beyond them and she would have to try to explain herself to her parents. This was something that might never go away. 

Thursday evening, Simon asked, “Are you ever coming back?” She shrugged her shoulders and climbed into his lap for cuddles. This was her comfort. A bubble with her favorite person, away from social media, away from relentless peers, away from her parents. Simon kissed her on the nose. “Has this… made you never want to try again?”

“No. I almost want to make a purposeful video and send it out myself, just to show these bitches that I’m Grace Monroe, and I can do anything.” Simon’s eyes lit up. That was his Grace! She laughed and rested her head on him again. “How’s it been for you?”

“I don’t like that you’ve let it keep you out of school. You HAD perfect attendance. Now, you don’t.”

“I don’t care about perfect attendance, Simon. I care about… being the perfect girlfriend. That’s my new goal.”

“What brought this on?”

"Just… I think I get why you haven't really been bothered about things. I've been shutting you out, shoving you away. I haven't been as open or supportive as I used to, so why should you be?" He looked different suddenly. He looked like old Simon. She knew those eyes. She knew that smile. 

But, within moments, it went from warm, to guilty, to confused, to cold. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "There's a tough transition from childhood best friends to this. As long as you've got it now?"

"I think I've got it now." She said and kissed him again. She melted against his body and he strummed his fingers up and down the back of her neck. This is fucked up, Simon. You did something horrible to her, and now she's apologizing… But, she's still leaving you. It doesn't matter if she feels bad for being a bad girlfriend. It doesn't matter if she wants to undo that. She. Still. Wants. To. Leave. You. Proceed with her destruction… Its destruction. He cradled her, resigned that what he had already done and what he intended to do was completely fair and right.

Grace spent HOURS getting her hair unloc'd. She had to lose a lot of it, but it was still pretty long and made a large puffy halo that she could hardly wait to show off when she got back to school the next week. She felt brand new, though she wasn't excited to see the faces of her tormentors again. She and Simon got out of the car and she wrapped an arm around him and held her hand forward. Simon smiled and they moved forward. The kids made way, she smiled and greeted. Simon was quiet, but confident. 

Shana said something and Grace exchanged knowing facial expressions with Simon. He smirked and gave her a little nod. Grace handed her backpack to Simon. She flapped her fingers, said, "Wah wah wah," then uppercut Shana. Uppercut. Shana bit her tongue and stumbled back, her mouth bleeding and her hand on her chin. Simon smirked. Grace accepted her backpack back. 

The last time something like this happened (and it had been a while since Grace threw a punch on her own behalf, or on Simon's for that matter, nobody saw anything. They didn't know anything. They didn't say anything. But when the dean came rushing over, asking what happened, someone said, "Grace just assaulted Shana!" 

Grace was startled by that. She saw other kids nodding and agreeing that was what they saw. She looked at Simon, who, instead of swaying them back to obedience said, "Shana asked for it." Grace's eyes went wide. The dean grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her to his office. She turned to look at Simon. He was just staring at them. He wasn't riled up or upset or even following. The kids gathered behind him, also just staring… What. The. Fuck…

.

Her parents were not happy. "Expelled? Expelled?? At the end of the school year?" Her father complained. "Over violence? We didn't raise you like this!"

"You've barely raised me at all!" She snapped. She winced and said, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to. Shana was bullying me.." 

"That's not what all of the other kids are saying."

"It's not even what Simon says," her mother added. 

Now, Grace's nostrils flared. "What does Simon say?"

"It's no secret to anyone that Grace and Shana don't get along, but none of us expected it to become physical. Shana was definitely giving her a hard time, but Grace let her temper get the best of her and I hate to say it, but it was pretty uncalled for, to lay her out like that." Her mother read from Simon's text.

"I handed him my backpack. He knew that I was about to lay hands on that bitch. Please! He's just saying that to impress you. Simon's seen…" she shut up. She was about to get herself into more trouble. "He definitely knew what was gonna happen when I handed him my bag."

"Why would he lie, Grace?" Her father asked.

"He's… obviously still mad at me for wanting to go to school. Simon can get really sensitive and a little bit clingy. He's punishing me."

"That sounds like a terrible relationship," her mother said. 

"It sounds like Grace making excuses for her disgusting behavior," her father said. The doorbell rang and the butler let Simon in. 

He shook Mr. Monroe's hand, bowed to Mrs. Monroe and began speaking to Grace like she was some type of volatile animal. "Heyyy, Grace. Are you okay?" She clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes. "I talked to the Dean to try to get this handled. The best that I could do was to get him to let you finish the school year from home and still have your grades as a student of the Academy. But he does not want you to come into the building again."

"Why didn't you have my back?" She asked.

"Sounds like he did have your back!" Her father fussed. 

"I am not talking to you right now, Dad!" She shrieked. Everyone froze and stared for a moment. Her father looked ready to angrily lash back, but her mother wrapped an arm around him and told Simon, "You'd better get her together, or else we'll have to."

"I'll take care of it," Simon said.

"I'll take care of it? You'll take CARE of it???" Grace repeated, then laughed and shook her head.

Simon watched her parents leave the terrace and he sat next to her. "You seem like you have some things on your mind."

Grace was wondering if she was the crazy one? He completely threw her under the bus at school and in front of her parents and they just… ate it up. "Do they know that I'M THE ONE that always has to keep you chill?"

"You're not that one right now."

"That's because you're being different. You're up to something and I can't figure out what?"

"I'm playing the game that we play with parents. You WANTED them to like me, did you not?"

"Not like this! They're not supposed to think you're better than me!"

"I see. I get it now. All those times when you insisted that we should be treated equally, you were just lying to me like you lie to everybody. And now that people are treating me good, you can't stand it."

"This isn't about PEOPLE, Simon, it's about MY PARENTS and how you're... you're... STEALING them!"

Simon tells her, "It's not my fault they like me more than you." Grace started crying. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "God, AGAIN with the crying. You're really a child."

"What is your problem? How can you say something like that to me when you know how I feel about my parents?"

He scoffed, "Yeah. And now we get to the truth about how you feel about me too. This is bigger than your stupid fucking parents." She looked at his face. He looked… like he was having a completely different conversation. His face would never let on that he had just said the mean things to her that he had just said. 

"Is… this about me leaving for school? You turned on me because I was gonna leave for school, Simon?"

"You lied to me. You betrayed the Apex."

"The Ape… Simon WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? The Apex doesn't have anything to do with this!"

"The Apex has everything to do with this!" He finally actually looked as mad at his words. "We were the Apex. Just you and me! We had everything we needed in each other. We belonged together. We built it together. It was our mark on the world. Our show of power and greatness… and you just threw it away! You threw ME away." He out his face into his hands and tried to catch his breath. She still didn't know what this even meant. 

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that it felt that way. I just wanted to do something for myself… if it makes you feel like this, I won't leave, Simon. We'll work it out…" 

He uncovered his face and it was surprisingly clear. She couldn't figure out what to think of him, but her heart was all over the place. Simon told Grace to calm down, but she was already sitting quietly, thinking, and she was getting mad that he was behaving like not only a stranger but a… horrible person! "I am calm," she said, though her teeth. "Just still very confused. Why are you being this way, Simon? I just gave you my virginity like a week ago.." her voice cracked.

He smirked, looked her right in the face and said, "That meant nothing to me."

She gasped and clutched her heart. This was… too much. Was she having a nightmare? Simon would never say these things to her. He would never hurt her. "Simon… are you saying that you don't even love me anymore?"

"I'm saying I don't even know who you are. The girl that I loved was strong, powerful and she cared about me. She wasn't a liar, pretending to love me until she could get away from me. Pretending to see me as an equal, but squirms anytime someone sides with me. She was worthy of respect. Whatever you are, you're not even worthy of her name. You're not worthy of respect. And you aren't worthy of love. You're nothing to me." 

She shook her head and looked out at the estate. Tears were pouring down her face. He put his hand on her back and rubbed it and for a moment, despite everything he had just said to her, she was relieved that he seemed gentle with her. But the he said, "Before I go, I want you to know that I actually did record us on purpose…" her head turned sharply to him and she stared at his thin lips as he said, "And I'm the one who leaked it." …Then...he smiled. 

Grace punched him in the teeth. He threw his hands up to cover his head. He knew her fighting style. She hit you in the face and head and neck. That's where she was swinging, but he was blocking well enough. So well, she was enraged and pulled his hair, twisting it in her fist to try to lift his head. Before she could strike him in the face again,she felt her mother's hands rip her away from him.

"Grace! You've caused us enough trouble with your violent outbursts! And now you’ve set your fists upon Simon?" All Grace could do was roar in anger, startling her mother.

Simon almost couldn’t hide his smirk. Luckily Mrs. Monroe was staring at her daughter (in horror), "I'm sorry, Mrs. M  This was my fault. I didn't mean to make her so mad. I know how she gets when she gets mad…" Grace charged at him, but Mrs. Monroe stood between them and grabbed her wrists.

"WE will talk about this later!" She placed a hand on Simon's back and led him back into the house to assess the damage and be sure that he wasn't ready to sue like Shana's parents were.

Grace asked herself, "Am I fucking crazy?" Simon smirked at her as he walked away with her mom. "No. He's. Crazy. HE'S fucking crazy!" She grabbed a handful of her fro and leaned on the rail with the other hand, sobbing.

Simon turned to Mrs. Monroe and said, "You realize that I love her right?"

Mrs. Monroe became visibly tense as she replied, "I realize that there's some feelings between you that you believe are very strong, but I also know that my daughter is hard to love."

"That's not true! I loved Grace almost the moment I met her. She's very generous. She's helpful. She's protective, oh and she's genuine... being genuine is the most important trait of a friend."

While Mrs. Monroe wasn't paying attention to him, he and Grace looked at each other through the window, and he glared at her hatefully. She stormed through the living room and up the stairs, slamming the door behind her. 

Then, she just… cried again, and sat down on the floor. She's unsure to this day how long she sat there, but she knows that both of her parents came together, each separately, the housekeeper, the butler and some doctor tried to talk to her before she finally got up, went into her bathroom and resumed sitting in the bathtub. She was there for 13 hours. She remembers that much. Not much else. The entire time period was just… day after day of hurt. And he still wasn't done with her.

Next

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

[safitheartist]

Here is the real issue and why a lot of people feel upset

Pokemone Sword and Shield doesn't feel like a upgrade to the pokemon franchise. At least not a big enough one to justify buying a whole new system.

With each new consol it always felt like there was a genuine upgrade to the Pokemon franchise that took advantage of the capabilities of the system they are on.

Like think about it.

With Ruby and Saphire for example we got:

Two separate evil teams depending on the version you get, impressive new graphics that felt approprite for the Advance while keeping the recognizeable pokemon style, new ways to explore the over world, contests, weather effects, being able to go under water with dive, some of the most creative puzzels in the pokemon franchise to date.

Getting a Advance for this game was something people actually felt was worth it.

Then there is Diamond and Pear which not only expanded on some of the features introduces in Ruby, Saphire and Emerald but also brought in their own inovations like pokemon with varrying forms, the implimatation of the touchscreen and microphone by giving the player usefull little gadgets down there (Map with your berries on, step counter for breeding purposes etc.) First introduction of the idea that pokemon can follow you outside of their balls which was futher expanded on in HGSS, one of the most memorable extensions of the pokemon mythos with the addition of Dialga, Palkia, Arcuse and Giratina. A clear narrative connection between it and HGSS which did not feel super gimicky. Really interesting bits of lore also great secondary legendaries with their own side quests. What most people view as the most chalanging champion fight to date and again impresive sprite animations for what was the standard on the consol at the time.

These games were infact a reason to want a DS, I would know, me and my brother got one for it specifically back in the day.

Then there was X and Y which in hignsight marks where things were starting to go down hill. The graphics of the game were passable, not the best but also not the worst we had seen on the 3DS. It introduced trainer custumasation and what we got to learn was anew form of evolution, Mega evolution, something everyone felt would be a substancial change to the games and how you play them from then onward. Which ended up not being the case at all. Mega evolution, despite having been warmly resived by the fanbase, got kicked in the same genoration, a lot of the game ended up feeling less memorable and the only thing that really seemed to have left a mark on the games in a whole was the inclusion of the new fairy type.

Was that worth buying a 3DS for? Eh debateable now but at the time a lot of people thought it would be.

So where does this leave Sword and Shield? Gigantamax? Very clearly a gimick, who knows how long that's gonna stick around? Character custumazation got improved? Neat but not a game macking thing. Graphics are better compared to other pokemon games? Well yeah but compared to what we have established as a standard for switch games? Kinda not at all. Animations? Again same thing, which is really jaring seeing the statements the devs made beforhand. Some of it looks like a terribly unfinished game. Cooking? We had cooking minigames in the past. Pokemon camp? Again a extension of past concepts? Pokemon jobs? A neat idea but a reason to buy this game? No. The legendaries? We got the least amount of info on them. Starter evolutions? We didn't even get them offically revealed. All we really got offically were fancy shots of new trainers and honestly a extremly limited amount of official pokemon reveals.

If it hadn't been for the leaks people would have had to make the decision to buy these games almost entirely blind.

Then there is the pokedex situation.

I personally think quiet a bit of their reasoning as to why so many pokemon aren't in it seems dishonest or at the very least not entirely true. Looking at the animations in the game alone and you get the feeling of "really? That's what they hyped up as a justification." But looking futher into it and you get a feeling where their 'stuning animation' really was put to use. This game is gem packed with gimicks that look and feel over produced compared to the rest of the game, rather then making the entire game feel more visually polished it's these things like pokemon camp, that don't have a baring to the over all game experience, that get fun new animation.

And while you can say what you want about you not being able to get all pokemon in other pokemon games too, 44% of the already established pokemon missing, including several fan favorites and former starters? That's abysmal. You can't talk this pretty yall.

I originally wondered why Nintendo talked about this in the first place and now it's clear to me, they couldn't get away with not adressing this and finding some sort of excuse. This isn't a small number of pokemon missing, this isn't 10-15%, it's almost half of them.

And that leaves you wonder? Is this game worth buying a switch? Well. No. Absolutely not. You guys have to realize this and I mean this as objectivly as possible:

Pokemon is no longer a handheld, it is a consol game now. Not only is the game system it is on dubble the price of the usual hand helds pokemon would come out on, there are aditional fees you have to pay to be able to play online. The switch was suppose to have you be able to enjoy consol games on the go, not hand held games on the big screen. And for that Pokemon just didn't deliver in the same manner other game franchises have.

And for Pokemon, having been a system selling game in the past, this is infact very disapointing, especially for people who might prematurely have bought a switch specifically for pokemon or were hoping to do so and now feel like they have been wasting their time.

Now this is not to say you can't enjoy these games, if you find joy in them that's great for you. I'm not here to judge you or call you stupid or blame you for buying the games. This is not what this is about.

However we need to awknowledge that the criticism uttered against this game is not unfounded and that this very much is showing a lot of red flags in regards to how Nintendo and Gamefreak are managing these games.

Closing your eyes and pretending everything is fine and everyone are just haters and Nintendo did nothing wrong is not going to help anybody. Especially when the issues here are clear, this game should have been developed by a way bigger team with more experience in consol games and with a bigger time window rather then having to rushed out for the christmas sales.

#pokemon #pokemon sword and shield

[queenlua]

radicarian said: how dumb are we talkin'

under a cut because the diehards can’t find me there

(note: um this got long, apparently i have a lot of art-criticism-y thoughts about this)

so there’s this subreddit that was created for “respectful” negative critiques of The Last Jedi, right?

and i find this amusing for a bunch of subtle inside-baseball reasons.

to dump my cards on the table:

* i keep Star Wars discourse at forty-foot-pole length, and

* while i really enjoyed The Last Jedi, and thought it did a lot of interesting things,

* it managed to attract a fanbase that seemed to love it for really dumb/cringe-y lefty/SJ reasons—if i see another “TLJ is about punching nazis” take i will scream, and yet

* of course the haters hated it for even dumber, bad-at-watching-movies reasons (“wah i don’t like that Luke was a depressed old dude wah” omfg y’all do you just want Ep4 re-released forever and ever—okay, yes, that’s what Ep7 was, you’ve made your point)

obviously this “respectful critique” subreddit is more palatable than like, idk, nerds screaming at Disney or whatever, but it embodies this fascinating faux-intellectual discourse that i see creep up time and time again on the internet.  i’m familiar with this subculture because these are totally the forums i would’ve hung out in when i was twelve, haha :P

scroll through the archives and you’ll find endless weird, obsessive, nitpicky critiques of the new movies.  people are salty because some obscure point of Force lore/mythos were rendered inconsistent by the new films, people are salty because Anakin’s sacrifice was “undermined” by the new baddies, and also Rey is a Mary Sue, blah blah...

and it feels like when you’re a kid, and you learn about the list of logical fallacies for the first time, and then spend the next several years pointing out the fallacies in every political debate, as if the problem with election cycles is the words ad hominem and non sequitur.  like, yeah, kinda?  but you are missing the forest for the trees, buddy.

similarly, so often what people assert is “bad writing” is this annoying memetic thing, where one dude launches their contrarian take on Why [X] Sucks, and maybe they’re even right that the piece feels unsatisfying, but often their critique amounts to a bunch of obnoxious nitpicks and checkboxes rather than a compelling narrative of what, on the whole, isn’t working.

but then a bunch of contrarian nerds latch onto that take, and parrot the same boring nitpicks back at each other forever, and because they’re being “contrarian”, they’re convinced that they’re Smarter Than Those Other People, and they end up forming a whole weird negging version of the fandom based around pseudo-intellectual gamesmanship.

and again: i get it.  i wrote my fuckin’ 80-page takedown of every single page of Eragon as a twelve-year-old, i get why people find it fun, i’ve engaged in my share of it over the years, but nowadays it just bores me.

in general, as i’ve gotten older, i increasingly cringe whenever someone describes something as “categorically bad game design” or “bad writing” or whatever—not because i think all writing is equally good; of course it isn’t.  but, (1) usually other adjectives are so much better for describing what exactly is happening—writing can be subdued, flat, frenetic, brash, stilted, hollow, uneven, etc, and these all tell you so much more than “dumb” or “stupid” or “illogical” or “bad”.  and (2) other descriptions often give a better sense of what was being attempted, so you can actually judge the piece by what it was aiming for—and sometimes, the answer is “this isn’t bad, it just wasn’t meant for you,” a thing that fans often find intolerable but i think is actually kind of neat.  (random example: ff13 was not flawed merely because it lacked open-world exploration.  it was trying to tell a different story and give a different experience, and you can have an interesting discussion about whether that experience works, but if you spent the whole time being pissed that it’s not ff7 then of course you’ll hate it.)  and finally (3) the rare stuff that i just find bad bad bad is usually not worth raging about at any particular length.   i don’t learn much or feel good about doing exhaustive takedowns of every Eragon-tier novel on the market; i haven’t even got enough time to read all the good stuff.

(as a sidebar, you’ll notice that very little of my engagement in fandom is via “meta” essays, and this is kind of why—while there’s lots of interesting and wonderful meta that i adore reading, i’m personally uncomfortable writing it, because so often it gets embroiled in these weird fanwarish arguments about “good writing” and i just disengage.

the nice thing about writing fanfic is that it often embeds my feelings about the piece i’m responding to—but in a way that isn’t an argument or a game, it’s a here’s how this worked for me & how it made me feel, and you can write both fanfic that’s furious at canon and fanfic that’s elated with canon while still having something compelling and interesting and new to say, i guess.)

for another perspective on it: one of my favorite takes on TLJ was from a friend of mine, who was pissed because to her, it felt half-assed.  it tried to do something bold, but flinched at the last moment: it didn’t go far enough to truly be a subversive weird arthouse film, nor did it nail any of the fun popcorn-cinema things you want from a blockbuster, and thus it failed at both.

that’s a fascinating perspective, one i don’t share but one i’m very glad to hear about.  but i assure you that that’s not a take you’ll ever see posted on that subreddit, because it’s just a totally different tenor than the obsessive, nitpicky arguments they’d rather have.

and i find the “forum debate” style of argument staggeringly emotionally tone-deaf at times—like, here’s someone pissed that Rey somehow didn’t try hard enough to redeem Kylo in TLJ and that’s what made it bad, and just, wow.  if you couldn’t hear—feel—the heartbreak in Rey’s voice when she says “please don’t go this way,” if it didn’t remind you of a time when someone let you down in the most brutal possible way, if you didn’t feel that moment of “oh, fuck, this isn’t what i thought it’d be”—then idk.  uncharitably, i’d say you’re just going out of your way to be annoyed over even the bits that really really worked—but at the very least we’re just not really relating to this piece in an emotionally compatible way at all and our conversation stops there.

anyway, yeah!!! tl;dr sometimes i pass the time by eating popcorn and watching nerds who assert they are Better Than Other Nerds doing “takedowns,” basically

#this is only kind of about star wars #and mostly about why i don't do fandom discussions most of the time #ANYWAY YEAH THAT WAS A LOT TO TYPE #radicarian

[aquarianlights]

Little Rant About My BPD And The Super Awful Psych Industry

You know, I used to think schizo-affective disorder was my most prominent disorder. . .but I've slowly come to realize that Borderline is my most prominent disorder. I exhibit every single symptom; even the obscure ones. And it sucks. It fucking sucks. I hate having both disorders. . .but if I had to choose one to get rid of, it would be my BPD. I cannot even express to you guys how much BPD has destroyed my life and obliterated my relationships. I can't even tell you how many friends I have lost due to my being BPD. Do the meds help BPD? No, not really. There really aren't any meds out there that dulls any of my symptoms even a little. . .becauae my BPD is so much more aggressive than most peoples. The most recent anti-psychotic I was prescribed helped a TINY BIT. . .but I was mostly on it to help with the schizo-affective and the suicidal ideation I had. And, yeah, it helped those things. . .but it turned me into a very unhappy person. And the worst part of it was that antipsychotics make you so numb to the world and the things and people and events around you. . .that you can't even RECOGNIZE the fact that you've turned into a very different, very unhappy person. It was only when I finally quit my antipsychotics cold turkey that I realized I wasn't even close to "me" when I was on them. I had no life left in me. I saw everything in black, grey, and white, instead of the normal neon, rainbow colours I see. I really had no desire to do anything. Nothing was exciting anymore. Yeah, these are all depression symptoms. . .but it wasn't depression because I was completely content with my life like that. . .because I didn't know any better. . .because the antipsychotic was blinding and numbing me to the reality of the situation. When I finally got off of it. . .I had never felt more free and happy and full in my entire life! Getting off antipsychotics was the best thing I ever did for myself. But, at the same time, the little bit of help it was giving to my BPD, along with the MASSIVE help it was giving to my schizo disorder and suicidal ideation just. . .vanished. However, the major difference this time was that I was on a stable dosage of the mood stabilizer I had been taking. I didn't stop taking or change the mood stabilizer. . .and it has helped me IMMENSELY in learning how to cope. I can handle SO MUCH now in my life. I can handle almost anything anyone throws at me. I just don't get affected by things like I used to. It's fucking fantastic!! Yet. . .although my other disorders have been either taken care of or are being coped with without medications. . .my BPD still remains completely and totally untreated---neither with coping skills OR medication. BPD is the only thing still sabotaging my life and, especially, my relationships. And I don't know how to stop it or what the hell to do. In fact, I don't even really know much about BPD. I know only what my psychs have told me, which is mostly all relating to me. Telling me I have a very aggressive form of BPD. Telling me that I have every single symptom. . .even the obscure ones. . .albeit I don't even know what any of them are. And the fact that if I ever want to have a healthy relationship, I need to learn to cope with my BPD or at least get on medications to control it. Basically. . .all I know is that I have it. And that it's the reason why none of my relationships---platonic or romantic---ever work out. And I also know it's slowly ruining my life. How is it doing all of this? Well, tbh, I have no idea. When I was diagnosed with BPD years upon years ago. . .I used to tune out when my psych would explain my disorders to me and tell me how they worked. I absolutely hate everything about psychology and I didn't want to hear ANY of it. I still hate psychology to this day. I think the whole practice is a fucking joke. And I think the same way about psychiatry, too. Fuck everything related to the psych field. It's all a bunch of fucking tests on human beings that never come out conclusive. No psych ever knows wtf they're talking about. All psych meds are extremely experiment. THE ENTIRE PSYCH FIELD AND ANYTHING RELATING TO IT IS A FUCKING JOKE. You know what psychs REALLY get paid for? No, not advice. . .they get paid to have a fucking opinion. To give their unwanted and usually wrong opinion out to unsuspecting, innocent, ill, desperate people who will do anything a "professional" will tell them to do. And it's not right!!! It's not right at all. All psychs do is take advantage of sick people for their money. And the ones that aren't getting paid "enough" for their liking? They don't even fucking PRETEND to care like most psychs do. Psychs just put on this front of caring and love and concern so they can get that money and so you will trust them and keep coming back. They want to FOOL YOU into thinking they care. . .GUESS WHAT. They don't. They never did. They never will. You are merely an experiment for them to play with. Psychs are just people who get paid to have ridiculous opinions and perform experimental treatments on innocent, yet sick, human beings. Where was I going with this. . .OH RIGHT OKAY. So I used to tune out everything she said when she would explain psych-related things to me. . .and it wasn't just her. It was with every psych I had from then on, in psych wards and in private out in the world. I would tune them all out. So I don't know anything about BPD. I got re-diagnosed several times within the past 7 years to keep my mental health records up to date. And every single time, without fail, my BPD is, by far, the strongest of all my disorders and most prominent. I've seen disorders come and go in me. I've healed a fuckton over the years and I don't have NEARLY as many illnesses as I used to. But BPD has remained constant in my life since my teenage years. Yet. . .I still know nothing about it. Not that I actually want to. . .but part of me feels like I would be able to cope better and control my symptoms better if I knew what to look out for. This is an insanely difficult dilemma to me. I would do anything in my power to stay ignorant on all the disorder explanations. I don't need or want to know any of that bullshit. . .because that's all it is. . .complete and utter bs. Psychs playing with big words to scare people into submission. Which, btw, everything I have described about psychs in general? ...seems to be a constant no matter where you go. Private practice psychs, corporate working psychs, sliding scale psychs, psych ward psychs....doesn't matter where they work or who they work for. They're all the same. I have been to them all. Also doesn't matter where in the US you are... I've been in various types of therapy in Florida, Colorado, North Carolina, Georgia, Massachusetts... doesn't matter where in the US they are, either. They're all the fucking same. No, they don't care. Don't be fooled by them pretending to care in order to get your business and your money. They will NEVER care. How the hell can someone care about a complete stranger like how these psychs portray how much they "care"??? They enjoy playing god with your life. "Oh, this script can make EVERYTHING BETTER...but it might make you want to kill yourself, too. Experimentation time~! Whooo~!" They are paid to throw useless opinions at you. And you, being desperate, are stupid enough to take them. The world is gonna die off. The human race is going to painfully burn to death in some fiery explosion from the sun, if we don't all kill each other sooner than that. We all die in the end. So why the fuck are you trying to get someone you don't even know to give you their opinion and label it as advice? Why are you trying to force someone you don't know to care about you? They don't...and they never will; But they can sure as hell fake it! So all this is happening. . .so why the fuck not go out and ENJOY LIFE instead??? Why not just bury your problems for the day and have fucking funnnn! Like I've said since high school, "Live fast, die young." I'm not going to waste my time in therapy anymore. I think I am living proof that therapy doesn't work or help. At all. In fact, it may just make everything worse. And all I'm trying to say is these are MY useless opinions. Don't freak out if you disagree; Just move along. People are allowed to have opinions. . .as long as they have solid reasons to back them up, like all of mine do (via a plethora of personal experience). Yeah, I know, I'm on a mood stabilizer and an anti-anxiety med and they work damn well. But you know how I WORKED UP TO THE RIGHT MEDS? Literal YEARS of experimentation. So yes. . .the psych practice is all just a bunch of mixed up experiments that work differently on every human being. Fuck that. Fuck all of this. And most of all. . .fuck BPD. I would trade anything not to have BPD anymore. Hasn't my life and relationships been destroyed enough? Why the hell do I need HELP destroying everything I work so hard to accomplish??? Fuck BPD. This is legit the most debilitating mental illness I have. . .and have ever encountered. Period. PS: I didn't write this to piss anyone in the psych field off. I wrote it to vent. Because I'm KINDA needed to get this out to the world. And hell yeah it made me feel a WHOLE lot better! If you disagree. . .just quietly agree to disagree and move on. If you're REALLY so inclined as to tell me you disagree. . .at least add in why. And do it FUCKING NICELY. Don't be one of those people. Don't be that super obsessive anon hater with nothing better to do than harass innocent people like me. I am 200% more likely to actually listen to a single word you say and listen to the meaning of your message if you're nice about it. Fuck the hell off if you're not. Kay? Fucking kay. Aight. I'm done. Peace, fam. 🖖

#bpd #borderline #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #personal #psych #psychology #psychiatry #disorder #mental disorder #basically tagging for triggers #tell me if i missed anything fam #and i will add the tag for you

[alwayswritewithcoffee]

Idk how far into supergirl you are, but I wanted your thoughts on Kara/mon el dynamic. Half the fandom hates him for getting in the way of lena/kara, others think he is sexist and toxic and what not. Mann makes me miss the good old castle fandom where at least 99% of fandom was supportive of caskett. I guess it's just my first experience for a cw type show. I think I'm probably gnna stop getting involved in the fandom

I haven’t had a chance to watch last night’s episode because of some real-life stuff, but I’m gonna say something that’s bound to be unpopular. 

First of all, shipping wars are stupid. Ship who you want, but recognize that not everyone is going to agree with you and not everyone has to love who you love or want them together. But, if you are shipping something the show isn’t pushing, you also have to accept that things didn’t go your way and don’t try to pee in the Cheerios of the fans who like the other ship. Just as the fans who got the ship they wanted don’t need to dance on the ashes of someone else’s ship dreams. Ship who you want, be respectful to the others who don’t. Kum-ba-ya, my Lord. Moving on. 

Now, where do I stand on it? Kara Danvers isn’t into Lena Luthor, and there is nothing in the show that suggests she would be. Lena’s sexuality and her feelings for Kara are totally up for debate, but Kara is a little nerdy puppy dog that loves a boy and just won’t admit it to herself because she’s socially awkward and terrified of all of that stuff. So this concept that Mon-El’s appearance got in the way of Kara/Lena makes about as much sense as people upset last year that Kara’s crush on James got in the way of Kara/Cat Grant. That was also a ship that was never going to sail, and while I don’t begrudge people shipping the characters that they want to ship, I am not on board with being rude and petulant and demeaning towards the people who aren’t on the same bandwagon as you, especially if your ire is solely because the show went a different route than what you wanted it to. 

Now, could Kara change her mind? Sure she could. Supergirl did a pretty great job earlier this season of tackling a character’s (Alex Danvers [Kara’s sister, in case someone here isn’t familiar with the Supergirl canon]) sexuality and dealing with the admission and changes that brought to her life. There’s no reason they couldn’t bring in a character, or write a storyline where Kara finds herself attracted to a woman. But it hasn’t happened yet, and given that she’s been openly attracted to several different men over two seasons, I don’t know that they will ever go there. And that’s fine because not everyone in the world is gay or bisexual. Some people are just heterosexual and never question that or feel a tug towards some of their own gender; that’s also fine. We want entertainment to be more reflective of the world we live in, and in this world, some people are straight, some are gay, some are bisexual. It’s all good. 

Now, Mon-El as a character is meant to be kind of an ass. His whole arc is about coming to Earth, discovering that he’s more than just this frat-boy who loves to party. Is he sexist? At times, but he’s also a character that’s trying to work on himself and be better. He’s also a product of the planet he grew up on and, quite literally, he doesn’t always know better until he learns a lesson. I understand that might rub some people the wrong way, but I am never a fan of characters who are perfect and know all the answers and never carry flaws. Mon-El is flawed, so is Kara. So are Alex and Maggie and Winn and J’onn. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to find someone and be happy, and their flaws or the worst parts of them don’t mean that someone can’t find them attractive ala Kara with Mon-El. So long as he’s trying to be a better person, I can get behind it and goodness knows that the guy has had to eat a lot of crow when it comes to getting his footing and navigating Earth. 

And I do wonder if a lot of the upset about Mon-El is just from people who are mad they aren’t getting the ship they prefer. I’m not involved enough in the Supergirl fandom to make that statement with any certainty, but I’ve been in enough fandoms to know that usually the people who hate a character the most are the people who just think he (or she, whatever the ship may be) isn’t good enough for the other half of the ship and find reasons to support the argument by vilifying a character whose arc might not automatically warrant it.

My advice, Anon? Ignore it. If you like Kara and Mon-El (so do I, so you aren’t alone), who cares what everyone else in the fandom says. Don’t let that keep you from being involved in the fandom if you love the show and want to be apart of it. Just love the ship and don’t apologize for it. Let the haters hate. 

#not castle #kara zor-el #kara danvers #mon-el #mike matthews #karamel #lena luthor #cat grant #supergirl #anonymous stuff

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Some thoughts on “Agents of SHIELD”:

While I am a big fan of the show, (and this is just my opinion) I think a major reason why people started leaving was the unevenness of the storytelling. Now, there are PLENTY of other reasons for the audience leaving. The show doesn’t really tie into the movies, no appearances from the main superheroes, 10 pm time slot, season one, etc.

But ignoring that, while there’s plenty of things to like about the first three seasons of AOS, the storytelling overall was messy. I think a big part of that was the 22-episode season length. For seasons that long, it’s difficult to stretch out the story and keep the audience interested. And looking back at seasons 1-3, there’s plenty to pick out as examples of shoddy storytelling.

Everyone’s picked season 1 apart. The monster-of-the-week format was hated, the characters were too cheesy and bland, and the season didn’t pick up until episode 17, which is expecting a lot from the audience. 

But seasons 2 and 3 also suffer from problems in storytelling. While it’s true that they’re better seasons overall, my problem is that the writers seemed to be tossing in whatever they could think of into the story and hoping that they land. 

Here, let’s compare and contrast. Daredevil season one is a critical darling and for good reason. Everything was tightly written, from the feud between Matt and Wilson, to Karen’s guilty subplot, to Foggy’s lawyer subplot, and so on. A big reason for that is, despite having to balance the numerous subplots, each one was tightly written which helped the viewing experience.

AOS seasons 1 and 2, while featuring good subplots, suffers a lot from clunky writing. While some mediocre storytelling is fine, AOS seemed to have as many negatives as they have positives. For example:

Fitz’s brain damage arc was good but it was tainted by the annoying miscommunication bullshit between him and Simmons. Miscommunication is good drama but it was dragged on far too long. The show didn’t even address Fitz’s pod confession until the end of the goddamn season.  

To add to my previous point, I think many people drew the line at the horribly-written Will Daniels love triangle arc because 1) we all knew Fitz would win, 2) Fitz and Simmons’ story did not need a love triangle to make it compelling, 3) it ruined Simmons’ solo arc for the sake of a love triangle, 4) it ruined Fitz’s rescue arc for the sake of a love triangle, 5) it dragged out a will-they, won’t-they romance arc that didn’t need three seasons to tell, 6) it created a character for the sole purpose of unneeded drama, and 7) did I mention just how unnecessary all that shit was? People like drama but they don’t like unnecessary, stupid drama that ruins the payoff. 

Another example, Grant Ward’s downfall into darkness arc was good but then the show didn’t know what to do with him in the second half of season 2. I addressed this before in a previous post (HERE) but I’ll say it again; Ward should’ve died in season two. By the end of season two, the character was spent. 

We learned everything we needed to know about the guy at the end of the season. Who is Grant Ward without HYDRA and Garrett? The answer we got was without them, he’s still an asshole who’ll kill people for petty reasons. We learned that in the FIRST HALF of the season. Did he have a chance at reconciling with the group? No, and the show made that perfectly clear. Did he have a chance at redeeming himself? Technically no since the other characters refused to forgive him but Grant Ward himself was uninterested in changing. 

Honestly, that’s all we needed from the guy. His character should’ve ended on a high point by either getting killed by Bobbi, Lance, Daisy, or Kara. In fact...he HAD a great exit point when Daisy shot him in the midseason finale. Instead, he gets dragged into season three where we learn nothing new about the guy, gets an anticlimactic death scene, and is only there to be a vessel for the true Big Bad, the Hive. 

And once again, the Hive should not have been Ward (I address this in the linked post). So, to summarize, Ward’s downfall was good but it sputtered to a bad end. Ward’s season three arc was a mess in general because the guy’s relevance in the story had faded. His feud with Hunter was half-baked, the feud with Coulson was forced, and whatever romance he had left with Daisy was gone so even their interactions were weak (not talking about the Hive-Daisy scenes). 

And that’s pretty much how all of season two and three feel. Each arc has their moments but then something stupid or annoying ruins it. 

Daniel Whitehall was an interesting villain but then he gets a shitty, anticlimactic death. Coulson’s romance with Rosalind Price was fine but then they made it all about Coulson’s revenge against Ward. Introducing the Real SHIELD was interesting but it didn’t really fit with the rest of the season and led to a shitty tie-in with “Age of Ultron” which amounted to nothing. The Fallen Agent arc was exciting but then they axed off the most obvious character in the cast, who was unfortunately also expendable since he was the most bland.

I think that’s what drove people away from the show. Even though I’m a fan, it’s hard to watch the show as a whole since no matter how good some of its writing is, there’s always something bad or annoying that takes away from the experience. It’s part of the reason why I don’t want to rewatch the previous seasons since even though I liked them, I know which arcs and episodes irritated me and I don’t want to revisit them.

NOW.

NOW.

ALL THAT BEING SAID...season 4 is fucking glorious. It took them four seasons but the writers have finally gotten to a point where most of the writing feels polished and tight. 

For one, they solved the season length problem by dividing the episodes into three pods; Ghost Rider, LMD, and whatever the hell part three will be. This has done wonders for the storytelling since each arc feels more focused. There’s a clear goal in mind for each section and despite there being other subplots involved, they don’t detract from the storytelling. The story doesn’t drag as much, each episode flows beautifully into the next one, and there’s a good amount of payoff for each plot point. Plus, the character development is much better and feels more natural. 

Now, are there problems? Sure. I got irritated at Eli Morrow and the Superior’s lack of menace as villains, the Coulson-Fitz-Robbie being stuck in another dimension arc was cut off too short, the first pod seemed to treat the main cast as supporting characters to Robbie, and at times the season felt too random. But the writing is still miles above seasons 1-3. Instead of feeling irritated each week, I’m usually left feeling excited for the next episode. 

It’s a shame that the show has finally found its footing with the ratings in the toilet. But no matter what, I’ll give the writers this. They definitely proved themselves in season 4. Fuck what the haters say, this is a solid season. 

#agents of shield #aos #Daisy Johnson #melinda may #Phil Coulson #fitzsimmons #leo fitz #jemma simmons #alphonso mackenzie #grant ward #lincoln campbell #Bobbi Morse #Lance Hunter #the hive #Holden Radcliffe #maos #analysis #thoughts #season 4

[duchessofostergotlands]

Hi I usually agree with your answers and i hope you won't be offended by what i am gonna say(i know you won't, you seem like a nice smart person). Any way about lena,i think your are being so easy on her. Lena is very problematic not because she is not informed or ignorant which i think is her fault she is old enough to go inform herself, but she think that she is the voice of her generation and women. She is self centered, and think that her show is representative of the society she lives (1)

In. And did you read what she said about abortion. She keeps saying those annoying thing and then apologizing only when she sees a backlash. She knows she gets a pass because she is white, rich, and privileged. There are other things but i just wanna say that its the individual responsibility to be informed on the things around him its not an excuse to be used especially when you are a grown up. I hope i didn’t come as a hater, i am not attacking her i am just frustrated that we keep having(2). These celebrities who have the access to be very informed and knowledgeable and have platform to spread that and then they choose to be annoying, superficial or just be Hollywood activist you know the one who are all talking no doing. Sry this turn out longer than i wanted Have a nice day

I’m not offended but I do think you’ve misunderstood what I was saying, or maybe I didn’t express it correctly. I’m not letting Lena off with anything or trying to give her an easy time. The life of privilege she lead from childhood was a reason, but it wasn’t an excuse. By that I mean it explains why she doesn’t think she’s offending people but it doesn’t excuse her unwillingness to learn about other cultures and races. That’s on her. It’s her responsibility to educate herself. Instead of doing something stupid and then making an apology, she should stop doing stupid things in the first place. It’s on her to grow and learn and seek out other people with different experiences. I just think that she isn’t doing it out of malice. I don’t think that she thinks she’s racist. That doesn’t mean that what she does is ok and it doesn’t change the fact that her mistakes are her own fault. I don’t think any White Feminists think that they’re racist. They’d probably be appalled at the suggestion. But that’s because their whole thing is about not listening to other people’s experiences. 

#ask #anon #lena dunham #non royal