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wardenparker · 2 years

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Killer Writing - chapter 11

Dave York x plus size female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

After divorcing Carol so she could marry her soulmate, Dave York threw himself into his work. There is no way he could have predicted that the unexpected collateral damage on an op would turn out to be his soulmate. Now all he can do is keep you safe, and try his best to get you to not hate him as the two of you try to navigate a blooming relationship that started out with threats and a mean right hook.

Rating: Explicit for Violence. 18+! Word Count: 12.4k Warnings: *Blanket content warning for self-esteem, self-image, and weight issues.* Angst and sadness. Just so much angst and sadness. Canon typical violence: guns, gunshots, knives, stabbing, physical injury, death. Not sure if it really deserves it, but Dead Dove Do Not Eat! A dash of flirting because it’s Dave and we can, mentions of sexy times. Summary: To say that the showdown on the mountain does not go exactly to Dave’s plans would be an understatement. Notes: Stay tuned for next week’s epilogue to get a glimpse into Dave and his sweetheart’s future! 💕✨ And get ready to say hello to our next Soulmate Sunday story “You’re So Vain” featuring our very own Dieter Bravo in two weeks!

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11

Three hours before daybreak, Dave is already up. Sleep comes very sporadically for him, most of the night spent just holding you after you had finally succumbed to your exhaustion and clung to him while you hopefully dreamed about something other than the nightmare that you are living in. He had only left the bed briefly, taking his phone into the living room and recording two different videos and saving them. Returning quietly and only having you protest softly when he pulled you back into his arms and smiling when you burrowed into his chest and sighed like you had missed him.

Once up, he makes coffee, knowing that he needs to be alert but not over caffeinated for the confrontation. The weapons placed strategically around the cabin and his vest are already loaded up and ready to throw on the moment the perimeter alarm is tripped. The boys will be here in half an hour, already parked over a mile away and hiking up the back side of the mountain, making sure that they were in position for when this bastard decided to show.

“Dave?” Your voice from the other room is clouded with sleep and confusion, and when you appear in the doorway in your t-shirt and sweats it’s clear that the first thing you did on waking up was panic when he wasn’t in bed with you. “You should have woken me up, love.” The words are half-mumbled as you pad across the small living room to wrap your arms around him. Every possible nightmare scenario had made it into your dreams last night and the only respite you had was one moment in one vision with him holding you before all hell broke loose. You need that right now - that moment of comfort - because you’re sure it won’t last long.

"I'm sorry." He drops a kiss on your forehead and leans against you slightly. "You were sleeping peacefully, and I didn't want to bother you." His hand finds its way under your shirt and he rubs your back gently. "I made coffee this morning." He would have made your tea, but coffee would be better. "And there's an egg sandwich for you."

“Thank you, love.” When you tip your head up to kiss him, he’s right there waiting. The moment is brief but desperately much needed. “Period stopped overnight, thank god.” The last thing you needed was to be distracted by anything today. “Is there anything left to do to…prepare?”

“Only for you to get dressed.” Despite the fact that you are going into the basement, he wants you dressed warmly, in layers and with your boots on in case you have to bolt. The alternative exit to the basement was thoroughly explained to you, the wide extra door where they bring in the barrels of gas for the generator.

“Okay.” You nod against him and pull back to grab the sandwich he fixed for you, figuring rightfully that he finished his prep hours ago. “I’ll eat and get dressed, and when the guys get here I’ll post to Katie’s Instagram. I’m thinking a photo of two coffee mugs in front of the fire with a caption about finally getting to meet? If the guy has been tracking us - me, her, whatever - he should see that.”

“Perfect.” Dave nods and glances around the cabin. He had gone through it this morning, moving things slightly to make sure his path is clear and memorizing steps to the weapons.

Your small breakfast is eaten quickly and at Dave’s insistence - two bites on you were fairly certain that anxiety was going to make you sick, but you make it through. The cup of coffee he poured is saved for Instagram, though, because the last thing you need is to accidentally have too much caffeine and end up jittery while holding a gun.

When you come back into the room, Dave looks you over, making sure there is nothing that you are missing. The holster. “Come here baby.” He murmurs, picking up the object in question. He made you learn how to wear it, how to draw from it until it was smooth. “Let me put this on you.”

“They should be here any minute.” You know the tight arrival schedule that the guys set for today. Everything was talked about across the cabin’s dining room table last night. Everything was hammered out in theoreticals, but seeing it in motion today is making your chest feel hollow.

“Yep.” Dave focuses on making sure the holster is secure. Tugging on it to make sure you wouldn’t be able to pull it off your body and lose your weapon.

“I know what to do.” The best you can reach for is reassurance right now, even though you’re scared out of your mind. Dave’s silence betrayed his own anxieties, and you wish you weren’t both wearing guns already because you would drag him back to bed to cuddle for just a few more minutes.

“I know you do.” His dark eyes meet yours and he reaches up to cup your cheek. “You are ready to handle whatever today brings.” He promises, reaching into his pocket with his other hand and pulling out his phone. “Take this. Keep it with you.”

You’re about to ask him why when the perimeter alarm goes off. Dave bolts to the monitors and sees Resnick first, letting both of you sigh in relief. You’re already on high alert this morning and the trap hasn’t even been set.

“Showtime.” Dave mutters to himself, watching the men make their way to the cabin before he walks over to the door to unlock it.

“Everything’s set.” Resnick kicks the snow off his boots before stepping inside the cabin, nodding to you briefly even as he walks directly over to Dave. “You all good here, boss?”

“All good.” Dave gestures towards the kitchen. “Coffee’s still hot.” He tells them, knowing they don’t normally drink anything with they wake up this early for an op.

“How ‘bout you?” Kovac eyes you, but not unkindly. He’s grown protective of you over the last few weeks, and has a promise to his own soulmate to uphold: to do everything he can to bring you home safely. “I know what I need to do.” You tell him, Accepting the half-hug he offers you before taking Katie’s phone from his hand. It will only take you a minute to put the post together and then it’s just a waiting game until the bastard shows up.

“Good.” Kovac smiles. “You remind me of Katie at the beginning. Nervous and yet determined.” He praises before he looks around, assessing the space. “You have water and food and a bucket down there?” He asks.

“Yeah, everything is all set up.” Food that doesn’t require cooking and plenty of bottles of water will keep you taken care of down there no matter how much of the day you have to spend in hiding. You take two steaming mugs over to the coffee table and set them up, making sure that every tracking feature on Katie’s phone is turned on while you set up the post. ‘After two years and plenty of trying, I’m FINALLY getting to spend a day with my best friend. Fresh air and a toasty fire for the first of many Girls’ Days!’

Kovac pulls out his encrypted phone and checks it. “Someone’s accessing the account to get a geo location.” He announces.

“Then it worked.” And just like that, you can feel your heart pounding in terror.

Dave stiffens, ready to send you to the basement, even though he doesn’t have a clue how long it will take the bastard to get here. “Come here baby.” He orders.

The little cabin doesn’t afford a whole lot of privacy when it’s full of five people, but you meet him at the top of the basement stairs where he beckons you. Hiding still feels like abandoning him, but he knows this world far better than you do. If it’s what he says is best, you have to believe him.

“Look at me.” Dave demands, waiting until your eyes hesitantly meet his. “I love you. I want you to remember that while you are downstairs.” He tells you to start with. “If any of us come down, we will announce our presence. If that door opens and there are footsteps on the stairs without us calling out, you shoot. Do you understand me?”

“I understand.” You nod just once, trying to force yourself to keep the tears down until you’re alone. If someone gets through to you in the basement that isn’t one of them, it will probably mean they’re (at best) gravely injured if not dead.

Leaning in, Dave presses his lips to yours one last time, taking this moment for the two of you. His fingers wrap around your wrist, the tattoo you had inked into your skin to identify yourself to your soulmate - to him - under his fingers as he caresses it. “Go.” He murmurs when he pulls back. “Keep my phone on you. It’s got very important information on it.”

“I love you.” It doesn’t seem like enough to say in this moment, and you’re sure you’ll think of a hundred things that would be better to say or do right now other than a profession of love and a desperate kiss, but it’s not as though you have time to write several drafts of your ‘good-bye’ remarks. “Be careful, baby. Please.”

“I love you, too.” He watches you go down the stairs, closing the door behind you and turns to his teams. “Get into position, check in every 15 minutes.” He orders sharply, eyes turning hard.

“Move out.” Kovac’s eyes linger on the basement door just a beat less than Dave’s do before he’s nodding and straightening up to follow orders. “We’ll take care of this,” he promises Dave - not just his leader but his friend - before turning for the door. “Once and for all.”

Dave takes a moment after the team leaves, closing his eyes and - he’s not praying because he stopped believing in any sort of higher power a long time ago - he hopes things go well today. Hoping that the universe or fate didn’t give him you just to snatch you away. When he opens up his eyes, he picks up his gun and tucks it into his back. He is supposed to appear as if everything is normal for now, like they aren’t waiting for him.

******

The hours tick by like chilled molasses, the only thing ever changing being the constant rotation of check-ins over the Walkie Talkie that has been sitting beside you in the basement since you came down here four or five hours ago. The check-ins come every fifteen minutes like clockwork and every time you hear Dave’s voice it’s a temporary balm over your terrified soul. His phone is still sits in your clasped hands where it’s been the whole time, powered down and just reflecting your somber face back at you whenever you look down at the electronic.

Around hour six, the monotony and a morbid curiosity have you powering up his phone. He said there was important information there and your mind is spinning all sorts of horrifying scenarios where the phone is destroyed, and Dave is gravely injured, and that information that he so desperately tried to preserve is gone forever. His lock screen is a photo of the two of you from Christmas Day - the roaring fire behind you making a perfect background for the selfie that you begged him to retake but he insisted was perfect. Your eyes are half closed in the picture, the chubby cheeks that you hate making them all but disappear as you smile at him. If you remember correctly, Dave hit the button right before he kissed you and the way he’s looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world is the only reason you didn’t delete the photo yourself. The site of it is enough to make you break right down and cry right now. There are two videos saved to his phone, one marked Legal, and the other with your name. You have never been the kind of person to snoop in another person’s property, but your name being there seems to give you permission all on its own.

The video is in the living room, the fire’s flames dancing over his face and adding to the light from the kitchen. He hadn’t wanted to wake you up making these. Looking at the camera, holding the phone away from him, Dave gives you a small smile. “Hey baby.” He speaks softly, the tone he uses when he is curled up behind you and talking after the two of you are coming down from your post-coitus bliss. He sighs softly. “If you are watching this - our plan didn’t go right and unfortunately, I’m probably dead.”

A fucking goodbye video. Of course he did… The tears are nearly immediate, and you wipe your cheeks with the edge of your sleeve quickly.

“Hey.” He frowns and shakes his head. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. I don’t like it when you cry.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like you’re sitting there.” You answer him the same way though - like he’s right in front of you instead of outside somewhere getting ready to fight a battle.

“I wanted to tell you some things.” Dave continues on. “Things that I haven’t found the words for yet or just - haven’t had time to say.” He flashes a grin, his dimple showing. “Did you know I was pissed off when I first heard you in the building that morning?” He shakes his head. “I was furious. Another person in the building to deal with, to potentially take out.”

Shaking your head at the screen, more tears roll down your cheeks and you wipe them away. “You would hate that. Logistics gone wrong.”

“What I didn’t tell you was that I was supposed to be the one to take out your boss.” Dave admits, cocking his head guiltily. “I changed it at the last moment because you were dancing to the music at your desk and singing like no one else was there.”

“Oh my god…” Hiccupping slightly, you reach out to touch the screen softly, accidentally pausing the video on the image of his soft, slightly nostalgic face before tapping it again to start playing again.

“Honestly, I’m glad I did.” He looks down at the tattoo on his own skin and then back at the camera. “In less than thirty seconds, you turned my world on its axis and changed everything for me.” Dave smiles. “In the best possible way, baby. Even when you were terrified of me, I wanted to keep you safe. Learn everything I could about the woman the universe said was the other half of my soul.” He pauses, dark eyes slightly brighter than they were seconds before. “And you are - you are so smart and funny - fuck, you are hilarious with your sarcastic humor.” He tells you on the video. “Kind and forgiving. And despite what you think, you are gorgeous. Sexy and cute.”

You huff at the camera, tears in a torrent now, and shake your head at the little image of Dave on the screen. "You only l-like me because I punched you," you tease his image fondly.

“I want you to do something for me baby.” Dave murmurs softly, looking at the camera like he is staring through it at you. “Don’t hide yourself away.” He demands. “I want you to live. Explore, have a full life. Fall in love again.” He swallows. “If anyone on the team is still alive, they will help you however they can. We are all family, and you are a part of that. Promise me that you will write your book and travel.” He grins. “Have sex in the snow again.” The grin slides away into a more serious expression and he pulls the phone closer. “I love you sweetheart, never doubt that for a second. And because I love you, I want you to be happy, even if it has to be without me.”

The video ends abruptly and if you weren't crying so hard yourself, you would have seen the tears in Dave's eyes before he cut the recording. If it weren't such a precious thing you might straight out throw his phone across the room to shatter it against the concrete wall. How could you ever possibly be happy without him now that you've had any time with him at all? Even the month you've had together - despite how it started - has been the happiest time of your entire life. Happy without him? Impossible. Whatever the second video is, the one marked Legal, it can't possibly be as bad as that was.

The video starts, this time there is no soft smile, no hint of warmth in his eyes. Dave appears to be completely serious as he sits up straight and stares even into the camera. “I, David Tomas York, being of sound mind and under no coercion, record this video as my last will and testament, voiding all previous videos or documents.”

Serves you fucking right for being so naive. Of course this is just as bad and is going to make you cry just as hard...

He rattles off the time and date of the video and continues on. “As of this day, I hereby grant as executor of my estate to be the legal offices of Harold and Harold, to execute the wishes stated in this video.” Dave pauses and takes a breath. “First, all burial instructions are already filed with the office, it is my wish to be cremated and either interred into the veteran’s cemetery or to be given to my soulmate to keep or dispose of as she sees fit.”

"You can goddamn stay alive." Mumbling through tears isn't exactly the most coherent that you've ever been, but since there's no one around to hear you, it doesn't truly matter. "That is what the fuck your soulmate sees fit."

“The entirety of my estate, I bequeath to my soulmate.” He gives your full name. “Any and all assets, property, accounts and stocks will be sighed over to her. This includes the two-point-five million dollar life insurance policy, the death benefit of this policy should be paid out to her.”

"No." It comes out of your mouth so conversationally that you almost laugh. "No. That's not going to happen. All this stuff will get passed down to the kids." Your kids. The ones who haven't even been conceived yet. The ones that are only theoretical but will be born someday. Whenever that day comes, those will be the people who will eventually inherit everything from him. From their Dad.

“This are my final wishes.” Dave declares before he says your name again. “The lawyers have a listing of all my assets and the name of the stockbroker I use. They will take care of everything for you.” He promises before he ends the video without another word.

"They can take care of everything when we go in there together after—” The impulse to throw his wretched phone is strong again, but the Walkie crackles to life a second later. Resnick's voice is quiet but clear, barking out codes and abbreviations you don't understand. This isn't a check in. Shoving Dave's phone in your pocket, you wipe your eyes with one sleeve and reach for the Walkie with your free hand to listen to whatever the hell is going on outside.

Dave clicks his radio twice, eyes sharp as he lowers his eye to the sight of his rifle. All he needed was a fucking target. The slightest bit of movement and this asshole would have his brains splattered across the snow. “Come on asshole.” He murmurs to himself. “Come right on in.”

"I have eyes but no clear shot." Resnick's voice over the Walkie is clear but hushed, letting the team know that they finally, finally have this bastard in their sights. "He's solo. Headed north toward Ari."

“Stay alert.” Dave murmurs back, swinging his rifle towards where Ari had posted up under the large oak five hundred yards from the cabin. “Take the shot when you get it.”

"He's quick." Kovac sounds mad about it and Ari answers with a curt, "Copy."

Just sitting here listening to voices coming out of a box might be the most useless you've ever felt, and your eyes shift away from the Walkie's screen to the gun sitting beside it. The very distinct possibility of needing to use it is here now, and you swear if you had been able to eat anything in the last six hours, you would have thrown it up with that realization.

Dave controls his breathing, the beating of his heart accelerating as his adrenaline starts to flood his system. A loud band rings out.

“Goddamnit!” Ari’s enraged cry comes over the radio. “I’m fucking pinned, the tre—” the rest of the sentence is cut off and gunshots ring out.

Dave looks around frantically and cannot see anything. A large branch of the tree down on the ground but he can’t see his teammate. “Ari!” He growls. “Ari! Do you copy?”

“Does anybody have eyes on Ari?!” Kovac is already on the move, headed along the perimeter is the property where they carefully laid the land mines last night, trying to be quiet but quick and keep an eye out for this motherfucker in the process. “Son of a bitch!” The second he sees the downed branch; he tears out at a run. “I think Ari’s down. Bastard is dropping branches out here!”

“Fuck.” Dave hisses. “Resnick, do you have eyes on him?” He demands, patience already starting to wear thin. Right before Resnick keys his mic, another shot rings out. “Report!”

“I’m hit!” Kovac’s voice is strained, breath coming in pants that somehow manage to sound annoyed. “And under a fuckin’ tree branch the size of a Great Dane.”

“Goddamnit!” Dave stands, pulling his riffle up and rushes over to the door to throw it open. The bullshit of covering them from the house was getting to him. He still had the high ground, but the visibility was better. “Res? Where the fuck is he?”

“South side and coming up fast!” Resnick’s voice is full of the effort of running as he sprints the best he can through the snow on the south face of the mountain up toward the cabin. This guy is coming in hard and fast and clearly isn’t waiting for any more teammates to show up.

Dave moves away from south side where Resnick is and fires when he sees a flash of movement. Missing and taking a large chunk out of a tree to the right of the figure in white. “Fuck.”

“Give me eyes, boys.” Resnick demands, needing to suss out his position before he accidentally gets himself shot in the process.

“The cabin.” Kovac’s strained voice tells him immediately. “Get to the fucking cabin to back up York.”

“Copy.” Resnick starts to run again. Dave catches another glimpse of the man and grins to himself. “Got you, fucker.” He hisses, exhaling slowly and squeezing the trigger.

The figure doesn’t slow, seeming only to shrug off the shot before taking blind aim in the direction it came from. He can see the cabin’s roof now, and the stone chimney exhaling smoke into the clear blue afternoon. At least it didn’t rain last night - this snow would have melted to muddy slush and slowed him down.

Dave hisses in anger and his focus narrows down to the scope his eye is trained through, the short breath he takes before he decides he’s going to quit playing with this asshole. “You’re going to die here!” He shouts out.

The chuckle that meets Dave’s ears is condescending and cold, a laugh of derision. “Doubtful, Major York!” He calls back, and the words are accompanied by a shot that barely whizzes past Dave’s ear. “Your team is like being tracked by Scooby Doo characters.”

"You're one to talk." Dave huffs, scanning the area and when he sees a slight movement he fires. "You're fucking hunting my soulmate, you know. Honor says you are supposed to back off."

“Americans.” The other man spits the word as he keeps cover through the trees. “So obsessed with honor.” Where had their American honor been when entire villages had been leveled to the ground in a war they never should have stuck their noses into? Where was there American honor when his own soulmate was the target of men exactly like these?

Dave growls and his jaw aches with how hard he is tensing it. “Fucking walk away. She doesn’t know anything.” He spits. “She doesn’t have the plans; you came here to die for nothing.”

“And I should take your word for that?” Another shot narrowly misses Dave, leaving a hole in his jacket instead of his shoulder.

Resnick comes up the side, skirting the perimeter and nearly makes it to the porch when another shot rings out and he howls, collapsing to the ground and clutching his leg. “I’m hit!”

“If you wish to die with her, by all means keep shooting.” Pretending to give the option would at least amuse him. If York ran, or abandoned his soulmate like a coward, he would simply be shot in the back instead of the front. “I promise the last thing she’ll see will be your corpse.”

“You aren’t going to fucking touch her.” Dave knows that Resnick is fine, can hear the grunts in his radio. “Why don’t you come out and we’ll settle this.”

“Oh, but I have.” During his days playing a janitor in that horrible office, he had touched, flirted, and given plenty of attention to the woman. “Such soft skin…and a pretty smile.”

He knows the fucker is trying to get into his head. Knows it. Still, hot, vicious anger bubbles up to the surface. “Come out you fucking coward!” Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a detonator and presses the button, exploding a mine in the area where he had last seen the bastard move.

“Major York’s famous temper.” The condescending laugh rings out through the clearing as the man appears, gun raised and trained with deadly accuracy on Dave’s hiding place. “I was beginning to think it was a myth.”

Dave huffs, wondering what kind of background information this asshole has on him. Lifting his rifle and squeezing off a round, hitting him in the shoulder.

The man growls lowly, stepping out into the clearing that surrounds the cabin with the tightly-coiled air of a pissed off panther. “If you would like to beat your American cowboy bravado it makes no difference to me.” He announces, though it has clearly angered him that Dave actually got a shot in. “You’ll both be dead before long.”

“Yeah?” Dave wants to take the shot, but he doesn’t. The need for this death to be up close and personal is very real. “You’re gonna kill me?”

“Collateral damage.” The man’s smirk turns wolfish. “Surely you understand.”

“Oh, I understand.” Dave watches carefully as he stands, hand near his pistol while he walks down the stairs of the cabin. “But I’m afraid you’re going to fail.” He promises him. “Last chance to walk away alive.”

The offer is an arrogant one, something that makes him chuckle with amusement and derision. Arrogance is exactly what he expected. “Your legendary team fell like twigs, Major York. Perhaps you would like to reconsider?” Despite being shot, the man simply transfers his pistol to his other hand and raises it, directly at Dave’s head. “Surely she isn’t worth dying for.”

“She’s worth killing for.” Dave promises. “Question is, do you think that she’s worth dying for?” His own pistol comes out and he fires, rushing towards the assassin as he does.

In a split second it’s obvious guns will be useless, and the man holsters it with barely enough time to pull out a large combat knife from the sheath at his other side. It’s fast when it happens, like all close combat. And in the split second before his knife meets Dave York’s flesh, the opposite is also true. There is no standoff between them anymore. No further bravado. Just the anger of two violent men with everything to prove. Therefore, the gunshot that rings out from somewhere a few yards away is completely unexpected.

“Get the fuck off my soulmate!” Your voice is harder than it has ever been in your life, anger and fear making you somehow solid as stone as you bring the barrel of the gun down from pointing at the sky to aim it at the man who currently has a knife dug into Dave’s leg.

His brow wings up and there is a satisfied smirk on his face, even with the four inches of blade buried into his side. "Threatening him is all that it took to make you come out?" He chuckles. "You are more desperate that you looked. Do you know who this is?" He twists the knife in Dave's leg slightly, making him grunt and making Dave use his free hand to punch him in the other side while his knife pulls out and down to rip the wound open any more.

“You came here for me, right? I’m right here.” Right here, with a pistol gripped in two hands pointed right at him. Every single second of everything before this moment - all the training Dave put you through and all the years of teaching yourself patience and to be strong - are all choking you like a proverbial noose. You could just shoot him, but your aim isn’t good enough and he’s too close to Dave to take that risk. You need to get him to advance on you. “If this is payback for the time I made you re-clean all the lab equipment because you didn’t get it right the first time? You should know I still had to clean it all a third time.”

His eyes narrow and he glares at you. "I'm going to make sure you watch your soulmate die." He promises you, angry that you aren't scared. He loves the thrill of your anxiety and fear. Feeds off of it and despises you for denying him that now.

“I’ll be sure to give you a call in fifty years or so. You can visit us in hospice.” Dave said to throw him off. Making him mad will throw him off. And he looks furious. “It might be a longer wait, though. Dying of old age is terribly unpredictable.”

"Bitch, you'll both die today." He hisses. "Hopefully you won't still be a pathetic virgin." He taunts you, missing the opportunity to block another punch from Dave but he grinds the knife into his leg and makes the other man curse.

Dave growls and lunges again, pissed off and ready to dispatch this fucker to the afterlife - if he believed in that kind of thing. "Do—don't listen to him." He pants in pain.

“You get one more chance to step away from my soulmate.” Later, if you survive to see later, you’ll applaud yourself for sounding so confident when you’re actually sweating and shaking and about to vomit in fear. Worse than your worst nightmare is right in front of you, and your hands flex as they readjust the weight of the cocked gun in your hands.

There is a flurry of movement, Dave shifting his weight, nearly collapsing from the give of the muscle that the knife has torn through and the quick zip of his knife across the assassin's pectoral muscles, slicing through the thick fabric and into the skin while he lets go of the handle of the knife that is imbedded into Dave's thigh and he's grabbing for your soulmate, his teeth barred in anger, other hand reaching for the hidden gun he has on him.

The gunshot that rings out brings all movement to a frozen halt, and for a split second you can’t do anything but stare before you’re sprinting to Dave’s side to throw your arms around him.

Dave grunts, watching the assassin fall to the ground dead. Accepting your frantic hug, he crushes you against him. "You—you shot him." He murmurs softly, unable to believe that you had actually done it. You had done something you had sworn you would never do. Kill someone.

“H-he…he was going to kill you.” The words are muffled against him, drowned in the tears you had managed to hold back while actually pointing the fucking gun at the man on the ground. The pistol itself is laying in the dirt, dropped immediately so you could get to Dave. “I couldn’t—I mean I don’t even—” Your fingers dig into his gear, desperate to drag him closer. “I love you, dammit.”

"I love you too." Dave breathes out, pulling away so he could cup your cheek and his lips are on yours in an instant. Kissing you harshly and pouring ever bit of the emotions that he can't put into words into his kiss.

Tear-stained kisses are deep and continue the feeling of desperation. Never mind that there is literally a dead man three feet away from you. That dead man could easily have been Dave and it isn’t. “We need to find the others,” you murmur, wiping tears from his cheek. Who knows who actually cried them. “Get you all to a hospital.”

Dave shakes his head. “No hospital.” He grunts. “They are legally obligated to report gunshot wounds.” He explains. “We will patch ourselves up.”

“Then let’s at least get you inside and I’ll go find the others.” His leg doesn’t look good, and blood has soaked through part of the sleeve on one arm of his jacket. A quick scan of the rest of him doesn’t show any other major injuries, thank god, and your thumb traces his jaw gently. “I can help.” You tell him with a nod that very nearly includes a smile when his brow furrows in question. “Girl Scouts, remember? First aide training.”

Dave huffs and grumbles, not liking the idea of you trying to help the guys back to the cabin without him. "Just leave me here, and you can call me if you need a hand." He offers. "They are heavy fuckers."

“I’ll manage. Just sit tight, love.” The only thing that matters now is the fact that you and Dave will be able to sleep in his bed in his apartment again tonight. No black cloud hanging over your heads and no amorphous fears holding on to your minds. With one more earnest kiss, you’re grabbing the Walkie out of your sweatshirt pocket and heading north into the woods to find Kovac and Ari.

"Resnick." Dave calls out, looking over to where the other man had gone down. "You alive?" The groan that comes from that direction makes him chuckle once before he's groaning himself in pain.

"Wish I wasn't." The other man calls back. "When did getting shot fucking hurt so bad?" He huffs, annoyed that he hadn't been able to shake this off as quickly as he had before.

"Getting old." Dave acknowledges, turning and kicking the corpse of the assassin before he slowly shuffles to his knees to search him.

******

“Scott? Ari? Do either of you copy?” You’re grateful that you were a part of the preparatory conversations for this day, and that you’ve spent the last few weeks getting to know these woods so well. You know the major landmarks of the area and the places they were using as border markers. Right now, you just hope that they’re okay enough to answer you.

Ari is the one that answers first. "I— fuck, I'm shot in the leg." He pants into the radio. "300 feet to your left." He tells you, able to see you where you are coming down the trail.

“I’m so sorry.” The guilt hits you in the moment before you reach Ari’s side, knowing that none of them would be in this mess if it weren’t for you. “Do you think you can stand? I’ll be your crutch to get you back to the cabin.”

"I can stand." He's managed to get a tourniquet around his leg, not too tight that he might have to worry about losing his leg, but enough to slow the bleeding. "Kovac!" He shouts out. "Answer you dick!"

“I’m not going any-fuckin-where!” Kovac grunts from about another hundred yards away.

“Holy shit!” When you look up in the direction of the other man’s voice, you’re bound to wonder how you didn’t see him before.

Pinned under a large, tangled branch brought down by gunfire, Kovac growls but holds up one hand begrudgingly. “I’m good, sweetheart,” he promises, hearing you exclaim. “Just a little fuckin immobile. Get Ari back and then come back and get me.” A grunt follows, and a short pause before he asks, “Dave ok?”

“Dave’s hurt.” The hiccup in your voice is obvious. “But the other guy is gone.”

Kovac is a lot more perceptive that you would think. "It's okay." He assures you. "It was him or Dave. Dave wasn't going to let him walk away."

“It wasn’t Dave.” Standing halfway between Kovac and Ari in the woods, you figure you might as well tell them what happened. Even just the fact of it. “It was me.” It was him or Dave. And you weren’t going to let it be Dave.

"I know." Kovac murmurs, having guess that's what went down because of you being outside. There is no way Dave would have called you out from the basement until he had assessed the team. "It's okay."

You just nod, grateful for the support but not really able to say any more. “I’ll be right back for you,” you tell him, and turn away to get Ari on his feet and moving.

Dave has limped over to Resnick, assessing his wound, and grabbing the man by the back of his jacket and is slowly dragging him towards the cabin. "Shit." He hisses, feeling the burn of his wounds. You'll be pissed at him, but he isn't going to sit idle and let you do all the heavy lifting.

“You marry that girl.” Resnick chuckles, hissing when he moves just the wrong way in one direction and pulls his wound. He’s used to joking after a successful op to shake the jitters off.

"First fucking chance I get." Dave huffs, grimacing and pausing for a moment to breathe through the flash of pain. He's had worse, but the area the bastard had targeted hurt more. Because the muscles move no matter what you do.

******

“Baby, I can drive stick, I promise.” You assure him for the thirtieth time, pulling open the front door of the apartment so he can just focus on moving himself down the hall on the pair of crutches he had stashed away. His leg is healing, but slowly. In your hands you have two tote bags full of good whiskey, several bags of tortilla chips, three homemade dips, and a tray of homemade peanut butter frosted brownies for the cookout at the Kovac house. Katie and Deirdre arranged the whole thing as a sort of welcome for you and unofficial retirement party for the guys and you’re eager to actually meet your best friend in person for the very first time ever.

"You are determined to turn me into an invalid, aren't you?" He huffs, although there is no heat to his words. He's enjoyed the way you have doted on him since returning to his apartment, although he was grumpy when you wouldn't have sex with him that first night. Arguing that he was stabbed in the leg, not the dick, and he had pouted - high off of painkillers - when you hadn't relented.

“It’s only been three days.” The stern look in your eyes actually isn’t all for show for once, and you lock the apartment door with the set of keys he had made for you the day after your returned to the city. “You’re lucky I didn’t look into buying a basic ass wheelchair.”

"Fuck no." That does make his voice sharpen. "Over my dead body. Hated being in one the last fucking time."

Shaking your head, you hold the elevator door open for him to swing inside the car with you so you can ride down to the parking garage together. “Just give me a couple of more day of babying, okay? I don’t mind taking care of you.”

"I know." He does know that, and he loves you for it, plus the millions of other reasons he loves you. He just hates feeling useless. He had plenty of that when he was recovering from that fucking building collapsing around them. "I'd feel better if you rode my face." He tries, shooting you a grin.

There’s a split second of hesitation where you chew your lip and debate the current level of your own insecurities along with your concern for his injuries all in the space of time it takes the elevator car to reach the parking garage, and you lean over to kiss his cheek as the doors open. “Ya know what, baby? Sure. When we get home tonight.” It’s not like he hasn’t been asking for weeks, and you’re feeling pretty good today.

"Call Kovac, fuck if we are leaving the building now!" Dave huffs, reaching out trying to grab you to drag you back onto the car as you walk out. Damn the crutches.

“Get in the car, York.” You smirk at him, loving the exaggerated way he pouts and huffs and swings himself toward you to get into the vehicle. “I’ve been waiting to meet Katie in person for two years. You can eat my pussy when we get home.”

"I could eat your pussy now." Dave counters. "Put you in a really good mood." He knows he won't win this one. You have been preparing to meet Katie for days now. Ever since the guys had made it home and the women had gotten on a conference call together. First to complain about them, and then to plot this party.

The horrified look on the faces of the septuagenarians that walk by nearly has you bursting out laughing, and you pull Dave gently toward the car with a look of absolute false modesty on your face. “Good afternoon, folks! Lovely day, huh?”

Dave scoffs and shakes his head. "Like they haven't had oral at least once in their lives." He mutters under his breath, a little put out that you won't even consider it. He could always lean the seat back in the car and just— "Fine." He blows. "Let's go get this party over with."

“Please don’t pout all day.” When you get into the car beside him, you reach for his hand. “If it’s really that important to you we’ll go back upstairs and I’ll text Katie that we’re running late. I just don’t want you to be upset when everybody’s worked really hard to make today nice.” The idea of upsetting him still clearly doesn’t sit well with you.

"No." He shakes off his attitude and lifts your hand up so he can kiss the back of it. He's been used to touching you, tasting you, fucking you for weeks and now that he's been sidelined, he's acting like a child. "I'll behave, baby. I promise. You have just been so sexy, taking care of me and nursing me back to health." He winks at you. "Might have to get you a naughty nurse outfit."

“Valentine’s Day is coming up.” Shaking your head a little, you lean over the center console and press a lingering kiss to his lips, grinning when he opens up for you hungrily.

“Yeah, but that means sexy Valentine’s Day outfits.” He pouts.

“I’m hearing that you want the sexy nurse outfit before Valentine’s Day?” You glance over at him as you pull out into the road. The Kovac’s only live about twenty minutes away, so the ride will be nothing to speak of. “Whatever you want, baby.”

“I just want you.” He huffs. “Tired of you saying I’ll open my stitches.”

“I—I know. I’m sorry.” There’s no mistaking the way your face falls a little, the guilt and the worry showing through clear as day. “I just…the idea of you getting hurt again legitimately terrifies me. Every time I close my eyes you’re bleeding on the ground again and I—I don’t think I can deal with being the reason you get hurt again. I’m sorry if that’s selfish.”

“Hey, hey.” He feels guilty for making you feel guilty. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He murmurs. “I don’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m just— I don’t like thinking about what could have happened, we are both alive.”

“Yeah, we are.” Cruising down the highway, you can move your hand from the gear shift over to his lap to lace your fingers together. “Let’s just have a nice day and a really nice night tonight,” you wink exaggeratedly, knowing how the silly little gesture makes him smile. “And tomorrow when we go meet the realtor, I promise I won’t make noises about using the crutches. How does that sound?”

“I can walk on my own?” Dave asks, grinning. “Can I drive?” He is probably pushing his luck but that’s how he operates.

“Maybe.” His smile is its own kind of reward, and you squeeze his hand. “I won’t even try to sneak the crutches into the trunk or anything equally ridiculous.”

“And as a reward, I will let you pick out any house you want.” Dave jokes, knowing he will let you do that anyway.

“We both have to like the house.” That feeling of grasping at each other after what happened at the cabin has pushed both of you to want to start the house hunt right away. Time slips away all too easily and as such, you’re determined to make the most of every second. “As long as it has a basement for you and a fireplace for me, we can make it a home.”

“You wanna tackle remodel projects?” He asks with a wry grin. He could imagine you pouting over paint samples.

“I could see us doing that.” You certainly have the time and the budget for it. Dave is taking all the vacation time he’s amassed over the years before he officially resigns his position, and you’re giving the first draft of your very first novel - written in that snowy little cabin - a thorough copy-edit before sending it out to publishers, so neither of you actually has work to go to in any way.

“That would broaden our listing options.” Dave muses. “We can continue to live in the apartment while we do it or live in the chaos.”

“I guess it will depend on how much chaos there is.” The idea of building your forever home with him in some way - finding the little things that will make it yours and yours alone - that makes you smile and your cheeks heat up. “It sounds nice…the idea of making someplace our own.”

“Whatever you want.” Dave promises. “I just want a good security system installed.” He’s already started designing it himself for wherever you had chosen.

“I’m not expecting to find something on the first day out.” The GPS announces your exit number a second later, and the Kovac house is only a few minutes beyond that, tucked in a cute little neighborhood where everyone seems to have a fence of some level and perfectly manicured front yards. It looks like you and Dave are the last ones to arrive, and the sound of barking and children screeching says that the kids and family dog are all out enjoying themselves as well.

“Don’t worry.” Dave leans over and presses his lips to yours. “The guys love you and the girls will too.” He knows you’ve been nervous, even if you say you aren’t.

“It’s just…been building up for a long time.” For once you’re sort of glad that he can read your mind like that - you would never admit to needing that reassurance but you definitely do right now. You offer him a small smile of thanks. “I won’t make a fuss if you want to leave your crutches in the car,” you promise him. “But the second you start hurting I want you to let me know and I’ll grab them for you. Okay?”

“I promise.” Dave sighs happily and moves to shove the crutches in the back of the car, happy to rid of them.

What you don’t do, however, is let him carry anything, and you have a tote bag in each hand when the two of you open the gate to the backyard where the party is already in full swing.

Dave manages to walk into the back yard without a limp at all. Proud of himself although he hates not helping you. “Hey!” He nods towards the boys and turns towards you, “I’ll walk you over to Katie.”

“It’s okay.” You shake your head and press in to kiss him quickly. “Go see your friends, love. I’m sure that’s where all the beer is anyway.” After all this time, this somehow seems like something you have to do yourself.

“Are you sure?” He asks softly, raising his brows at you.

“Yeah.” You nod and kiss him again, shuffling the bags on your arm until you can pull out the bottle of whiskey you packed to put in his hand. “Go sit. Crack the bottle open. I’ll bring you a snack in a little bit. Is that okay?” Are you nervous? Of course. But you know Katie - you just don’t know her in person.

“Okay.” He leans in again and pressing his lips to yours gently. “I love you babe. You’ll do great.” He reassures you, squeezing your hip gently.

“I love you, too.” One more quick kiss for luck and you’re turning toward the other side of the yard, where the back porch of the house is covered in all manner of food, drink, and even a spray of toddler toys. Katie is sipping a cocktail at the grill, and you feel slightly lame that the first hello you think to muster for your friend of multiple years is a small wave when she turns and glances in the direction of your movement.

“Oh my god!” Katie immediately sets her drink down and starts speeding across the yard. “You’re here!” She squeals happily, ignoring any kind of first meeting that normal people have and throws her arms around you. “How are you? Are you okay? Not sore from lugging Dave’s grumpy ass around?”

It barely takes a second to drop your bags in the grass and fully throw your arms around Katie in return, practically squeezing the life out of her in the process. “I’m okay…I’m okay, Dave’s okay, we just…” You sniffle, burying your face in her embrace. “You’re real!”

“I’m real, you’re real!” She recognizes the signs of being slightly overwhelmed and it’s only because she’s had Scott for so long that she’s not just as emotional. “I hate that we haven’t done this sooner.” She tells you. “But now you’re going to be sick of me!”

“Well, I kiiiind of get now why you were iffy about giving out your home address to a stranger on the internet before this.” Laughing through the water in your eyes, you hug her infinitely tighter for one more second before loosening your grip to actually look at her. “Thank you for everything. I mean…not just like…the friend stuff. But our Christmas was perfect because of you, and I can’t possibly thank you enough for that.”

“Oh, thank god.” Katie rolls her eyes and sighs. “I was rushing to make sure I had everything and swore I forgot something.” She confesses.

“It was more than enough, and it was all perfect.” You smile, finding that nothing in the world could wipe the giddy expression off your face in this moment. “I have so much to tell you.”

“Scott’s already claimed that we are going to be trouble.” She tells you with a grin. “Although the day he came home to tell me, he told me he understood why I loved my gremlin.”

“He’s a good guy.” Every time Scott Kovac went above and beyond the call of any sort of duty to help you, it only proved all the wonderful things she had ever told you about her soulmate over the years. “What are the fucking odds though? For the guys to be so close and us too…completely separately.”

“I know.” Katie shakes her head, amazed again at how small the world could be sometimes. “Tell me, did Dave like the gifts I sent you for him.” She asks with a smirk on her face.

“We had a very…playful Christmas.” You clear your throat meaningfully and follow her back to the porch to unload the other food and drinks you brought. “I’m pretty sure I only got dressed once between Christmas and New Year’s.”

“Fuck I miss those days.” Katie huffs, throwing you a grin. “I see that smut writing must have come in handy.”

“Turns out my soulmate is a fan of our stuff.” Plopping down on the bench beside her as soon as the dips you made are set out, you sigh a little dreamily and offer your friend an unrepentant smirk. “There’s a scene in my book you need to read. It’s all the rough, demanding, hair-pulling, needy stuff we love…plus it’s outdoors.” Dave had read the fictionalization of your escapades out in the snow in front of the cabin with glee and immediately whined when you wouldn’t risk his stitches with a reenactment.

“Really?” Katie grins and her eyes flicker over to where Dave is cracking open a beer and conveniently sitting down in one of the chairs they had set up around the backyard. “Is this scene based off real events or what you wanted to happen?” She hums as she looks back at you.

“Honestly, I kind of reeled it in a little.” You admit with a grin. “When Dave goes feral it’s just…” A delicious shiver runs down your spine at the memory of that particular afternoon in the snow and you glance back up at your friend with the least innocent shrug in the world. “Well, you know.” Despite not exactly knowing what happened between them the one night they slept together, you can at least rest assured that Katie has some idea of what your soulmate is capable of as a lover.

Katie shakes her head, giving you a small shrug. “Honestly? I don’t.” She admits. “Dave was great, don’t get me wrong. I still love fucking with Scott about it. Respectfully of course.” She grins over at her husband, completely aware that he is confident in his own suaveness in bed. “But Dave was nowhere near feral with me.” Looking back over at you, she smirks. “Sounds like he saved that for his soulmate.”

“I mean, he wasn’t the first time.” No one knows how desperately you had been searching for your soulmate the way Katie does, and the number of phone calls between you on the topic was through the roof. It’s almost too fitting - and comically frustrating - that she has been so close to Dave the whole time. “The first time was…perfect.”

“Please tell me he used that York charm and made to romantic for you?” Katie demands. “I’ll sta— uh, I’ll punch him if he didn’t.” The joke of stabbing him wouldn’t have been good right now. Not with him still healing from a stab wound.

“Honey, it was perfect.” The memory of that particular night really is one that you don’t think will ever fade, and that’s all due to how beautifully Dave framed the experience. “We had the mattress and blankets and pillows and stuff out in front of the fireplace so we could watch movies on my laptop and…I mean I thought I was making the night special by putting something kind of sexy on, ya know? But when I came back from taking a bath he had covered the whole room in candles and turned the mattress into a literal love nest and I swear to god I almost cried as soon as I saw it.”

“Oh perfect.” Dave earns extra brownie points in Kate’s eyes by making it special for you. “That’s amazing, hun. How did you feel about it after?”

“A little sore, but nothing another bath couldn’t cure.” You flash her a smirk, knowing that that isn’t what she meant. “Honestly? It was past midnight on Christmas Day and we exchanged gifts and talked about the future. He’s everything I ever wanted.”

“You deserve it.” She tells you. “Scott says that Dave has never been this besotted before. My husband used the word besotted.”

“I know it’s premature, but…” Reaching over, you give her arm a squeeze. “You’ll be my maid of honour, right? When Dave proposes?”

“It’s not premature and I would be honored to be your maid of honor.” She promises, unable to contain herself and reaching to pull you into another hug.

“It’s premature because he hasn’t proposed yet.” Hugging her back fiercely nearly has you in relieved tears. The number of times you’ve wanted to do this with her - just be able to reach out and hug her while you talk - is too numerous to count and it feels like a massive weight off your shoulders to finally be able to do it. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I love that you’ll actually be beside me for everything from now on.”

“Oh we are going to be inseparable.” She promises, cackling with glee and the men look over in concern. The last time they heard that laugh, it had meant they had spent a week building the deck they were sitting on. That laugh meant trouble.

“The only way to make it more so would be if the house next door was for sale or something,” you joke, shaking your head at the absurdity of the idea and sliding down the picnic table you’ve been sitting at to pour yourself a Jack and Coke.

Kate snorts and then her eyes widen. “Well, how about a house a block over?” She asks breathlessly. “It’s— I know you probably won’t want it. It needs a ton of work, but it’s got such potential. It’s been on the market forever.”

“Wh—what kind of work?” It would be too perfect. It would be far too perfect, and you have to swallow down your excitement and prepare yourself to be told a laundry list of repairs that would be far too much even for you and Dave to be willing to take on. But…hadn’t you just been talking about fixer uppers in the car on the way over? “We were just saying earlier that we wouldn’t mind buying a project.”

“New roof, new electrical. Kitchen, bathrooms.” Kate huffs, rolling her eyes. “Someone bought it with the idea of renovating it and quickly found out that they weren’t very good at it. A lot of things have been demolished so it doesn’t show well, but it’s always been a gorgeous house.”

“So, it’s basically a shell?” The idea has a certain appeal - buying the framework of a house and building the inside to fit your needs - and you sip your drink thoughtfully. “I’ll see what Dave thinks before we see the realtor tomorrow, but the lease on his apartment is still good for another six months. We could keep living there while a crew works on the house.”

“They’ve lowered the price on it three times.” Kate confides. “Still no offers and the owners are desperate to unload it before they default.”

“Interesting…” You flash her a devious smirk before glancing across the yard at the guys. “He did say I could pick whatever house I wanted…”

“I’m jealous.” Kate huffs. “It’s got five fireplaces and an in-ground pool.” She tells you. “If you buy it, I’m going to be the hippo in your pool all summer.” She jokes with a wink.

“Five?!” The way your eyes widen is comical. “For the love of all things holy, please tell me it has a decent sized basement?”

Her brow furrows and she whips out her phone, typing the address in to Zillow and pulling up the listing. “It’s got a basement that’s the size of the house and a workshop in the backyard.” She hands you the phone so you can look for yourself. “It just photographs like shit so no one even looks at it.”

After flipping through about ten of the twenty-four photos on the listing and gasping at the shockingly low price tag, you practically jump out of your seat. “I gotta show this to Dave,” you tell her, giving Katie another squeezing hug before you bolt across the yard.

Dave looks up from his conversation when you rush over, concern that something is wrong is immediately smothered by your excited face. “What’s up, baby?”

“Look at this.” You wrap your arms around him from behind, draping yourself over his shoulders as you hold the phone in front of him. “I know it doesn’t look like much at first glance, but the basement is huge, there are five fireplaces, and the fenced-in backyard already has a pool and a workshop. Baby, it might be perfect!”

Dave stares at the pictures, noticing that the house is completely demolished for renovation. “Babe, this is a big project. Are you sure you want to take this on? It’s a lot to pick out.” He doesn’t want to stifle your excitement but it’s not like picking out paint.

“We could make it our dream house.” The three-floor work-in-progress looks like a Dutch Colonial from the outside and is basically a clean slate everywhere else. “We can keep living at the apartment until the bulk of the work is done.” Searching his face, your brow furrowed ever so slightly. “If you think it’s too much work, I understand. But…maybe we can just go see it tomorrow? Katie says the photographs don’t do it justice.”

He sees the happiness wane slightly and quickly nods his head. “Send it over to the realtor and we will look at it.” He promises. “If you think we can do to after we see it in person, we’ll talk about it, okay?”

“Is that the house in Peachtree Street?” Kovac leans over to look at his wife’s phone in your hand and chuckles. “Of course she showed you that. It’s a block away.”

“I told you that you should have let your wife put in that pool last year.” Dave scoffs, grinning at his teammate and friend. “Now if we buy that, she’s gonna be swimming in my pool.”

“Good,” Kovac laughs again, nearly shaking from it. “Then you guys can host barbecues from now on. We won’t have the biggest backyard anymore.”

Snorting, Dave leans back and takes another swallow of his beer. “At least the burgers will be done.” He jokes.

“Okay, I’m gonna leave you boys to your trash talk.” You chuckle and leave a kiss on Dave’s temple. “I just wanted to show you the house and see what you think.”

“I think that if you want to see it, we see it babe.” Dave winks at you. “It wouldn’t be too bad living near this meathead.”

You quickly text yourself the link to the Zillow listing from Katie’s phone on your way back over to her and send it off to the realtor as well, letting her know you’re interested in checking out the fixer-upper whenever the owners are next available to show it. “He’s skeptical, but I think I can win him over,” you report, returning to Kate’s side.

Katie laughs and looks over to find Dave watching you. “Promise him anal.” She suggests wickedly. “But honestly? You just have to tell that man you want it. Look at him.”

“That promise holds no power,” you admit, looking extremely sheepish. “I like it too much…so it’s not like it’s a special treat or something. We’ve done it a lot…”

Katie snickers and shakes her head. “Naughty girl.” She chides playfully.

“Says the woman who sent us a plug in the first place.” You remind her, but you both laugh. “I’m making up for lost time, that’s all.”

Deirdre comes into of the house, looking slightly relieved to be back outside, the baby finally down after a fit because she was so tired. “Oh thank God, someone get me booze.” She huffs, looking towards her husband with a grin. “That’s your daughter when she’s like that.”

“Yes dear!” Ari calls back, fully accepting the blame for whatever it is his little menace of an angel has done now.

“You must be Deirdre.” She’s the only member of the little family that you haven’t met yet, and you recognize her from the group photo in Dave’s living room. She was pregnant last Fourth of July when it was taken, but it’s not as though that mysteriously makes her unrecognizable now.

“Hi!” Never one to not welcome someone into their little weird family, Deirdre quickly wraps her arms around you and squeezes quickly. “I’ve heard so much about you from Katie and from Ari, I feel like I know you already.”

“Oh, you’re a hugger, thank god.” You laugh, squeezing her tightly in turn before she pulls away to fix herself a drink. “I’ve heard so much about you, too, and it’s so good to finally meet you.” With a half-laugh, you shrug. “Both of you.”

“We’ve already known each other.” Kate huffs. “We just hadn’t set fingers on each other yet.”

“It’s a different kind of knowing someone.” Writing fanfic with someone - growing a relationship with them through something so infinitely personal - had given you a special sort of kinship with Katie. Getting to know her as a ‘normal’ friend had come later. “I think the last time I had more than one real in-person friend was college.”

“Well, now you have two and when Resnick gets off his ass and finds his soulmate—” Deirdre calls out loudly so the man in question hears her. “You will have three. Unless she’s not super friendly. Which we’re just gonna have to talk to the universe about that, then.”

“I don’t think we’ll have to worry.” Call it an optimistic streak, but from what you’ve seen of this group it would be hard not to feel welcome right away - kidnapping notwithstanding. “For his sake I hope it happens sooner rather than later, though. Being the only single one sucks.” You were the token single girl long enough to know that.

“He will find her.” Deirdre hums. “Or him. Haven’t decided what type of human will fit Resnick.” She looks over at you with a grin. “So how are you enjoying your bad boy soulmate?” She asks. “I know Scott already told the story as soon as he could possibly work it into the conversation.”

“I mean I hate to jinx a good thing, but…he’s pretty perfect.” Barely turning your head to glance over at him, you manage to catch Dave’s eye and end up grinning like a maniac when you turn back to Kate and Deirdre. “I mean the whole bad boy soulmate thing is fun recreationally,” your raised eyebrows make the playful point you’re hinting at and both women laugh. “But he’s on board for my whole domestic fantasy and fully supported me quitting my job to focus on writing so…I mean he really is the dream.”

“Well, I have to say that I love how you have him by the proverbial balls.” Deirdre tells you. “Getting him to quit? Miracle.”

“He didn’t want to be doing it.” You’ve wrestled with yourself a little on this over the last month but really came to the conclusion that you seemed to have been the proverbial key that opened the door that Dave had been staring at for a long time. “What he needed was someone to give him a reason to quit. And…that’s really all I did.”

“You know he’s one of the best, right?” Katie whispers. “Him and the rest of the guys. They are—” she breaks off and shivers slightly. “There was a mockup battle they wanted to do for DHS and they participated. They honestly tore through the other teams like it was a practiced routine.”

“I got that feeling…listening to them plan for…the end of things.” You don’t really know how much Deirdre knows, but you told Kate everything that had happened on that last day at the cabin. It only proves how good the guy was that was after you - that he ripped through the team like tissue paper until he got to Dave. “I love that they’re planning the security company now, though. Putting all those skills to work in a reverse sort of way. Like criminals who become police consultants, ya know? They know all the cracks and holes in the system that need to be addressed.”

“I’m just going to be glad I don’t have to worry about my husband coming home in a fucking body bag after every job.” Deirdre admits quietly. “The morality of killing people aside….”

“Sometimes it can’t be helped…” you murmur, eyes tracking away to stare down into your cup. It’s only been a few days since you left the cabin and the sound of that gunshot along with the image of that man on the ground will probably never fade a single molecule from your mind.

“Shit.” Deirdre hisses, remembering what Ari had said. “It’s different in that situation.” She offers quickly, a wall of regret on her face for sticking her foot in her mouth. “It was him or Dave. I would have killed for Ari in a heartbeat.”

“They’re all here now. That’s what matters.” You look over at the guys - all four of them laughing and joking and generally having a very normal time - and actually feel the relief of a smile. If they could do what they did for decades and be okay, you will be too in time.

“So, tell me how the final edit is going?” Katie prompts. “I cannot believe that you got it out that fast.” She spends forever working on her first draft of stories. “Was it just that natural of a story?”

“I didn’t really have to invent a plot.” You admit, sipping your drink and appreciating the change in topics. “Or main characters. It’s just a slightly factionalized version of how Dave and I met and fell in love. But I set it in a universe that doesn’t have soulmates, so I guess technically it’s a fantasy thriller romance?”

“That’s perfect!” Katie grins, excited to read the little bits you haven’t told her. “If you can publish a best seller off your story that just the cherry on top!”

“If I can even get a publisher to accept it, I’ll be thrilled.” A best seller is the dream you’ve told yourself not to get caught up in. A debut novel that sells even a dozen copies would be a miracle. “Dave just likes it when I call him my muse,” you laugh. “I think it’s a little ego stroke that he didn’t ever consider before.”

“Oh, I’m sure he eats it up.” She giggles along with you. “I can see him being the type to love having his ego stroked.” She waggles her brows suggestively. She had technically spent one night in Dave York’s bed but that didn’t mean that her relationship now gave her that kind of insight.

“Mmm,” you hum, laugh morphing into a smirk and a giggle. “And such a sizable ego requires quite a bit of stroking.”

Katie smirks and Deirdre huffs. “You know, I’m the only one here - besides the kids - who hasn’t seen Dave York’s dick.” She is teasing and slightly jealous at being left out. In a completely playful kind of way.

“I’ll tell him I want him to be the stripper at my bachelorette party.” The idea makes you laugh so hard you almost spit out a sip of your drink. “I’ve gone thirty years without any other dicks in my face, no need to break the streak just for a party.”

Kate and Deirdre both laugh with you and all three of your soulmates look over towards you with fond smiles on their faces.

“I told you, man. They’re going to be trouble.” Kovac shakes his head, grinning at the sound of his wife’s laugh.

“Absolutely.” Dave agrees, smirking at the way you are relaxed and getting along with the other ladies. Once he had found out you knew Kate, he had figured you would be the troublesome trio. “We better make the business a success so we have enough bail money.” He jokes.

“Alright, boys.” Resnick bellies up to the picnic table, pulling his phone out of his pocket to download Mate Marks. For their entire careers none of them had ever been able to use the simple app due to military and government regulations, but now? Now they’re civilians, and a whole new world of possibilities lies ahead of them. “Let’s find the fourth troublemaker.”

Dave chuckles, leaning back in his seat and eyeing his friend. “What’s your hurry?” He teases. “You act like you’re ready to settle down.”

Resnick huffs at his friends before pointing a finger in the direction of your soulmates across the yard. “If the universe gave you three assholes those goddesses? I don’t want to miss another second.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives

KW: @evyiione @graphitegator @bruxasolta @missredherring @writeforfandoms @sj-draws00 @whiskeyshoneybee @randeerenae @pagannightwitch @what-iwish-you-knew @mrsparknuts @harriedandharassed

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Dave York #Dave York x reader #Dave York x you #Dave York x female reader #plus size reader #Equalizer 2 #soulmate au #Dave York pit #suburban murder daddy #tw death #tw guns #tw violence

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cali-holland · 3 years

Text

Under the Stars- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: When you invite Tom and Harrison to go to a cabin in the woods with your old college friends, Tom devises a plan to finally confess his feelings for you. Little does he know, the cabin belongs to your ex-boyfriend, and he’s also seeking your attention this week.

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: slow burn (ish), swearing, sexual themes (jokes/references), the reader kinda gets sexually harassed (nothing actually happens), fist fight + some blood, tom being a simp

A/N: this was a nine month process, so i hope you enjoy :) also thank you to @duskholland for being so supportive and reading through this fic and editing it. love you hannah! + Also reposting this because the tags didn’t work the first time :/ and tag list will be in a reblog!

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

*Moodboard is mine, pics used are not *

~~~

When you walked into Tom and Harrison’s house, you weren’t expecting to hear odd grunts coming from the living room. You’d heard many strange noises made in that house— a good amount of their sources were still unknown, but you’d never heard such aggressive grunts. For a moment, you considered slowly backing out of the house and knocking on the door. It would be easy to pretend like you didn’t have a key so you didn’t have to walk in on anyone doing anything gross in the other room.

But then Harrison walked into the entryway, smiling at you as a greeting, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey,” You replied, closing the front door hesitantly behind you. You pointed towards the living room, “Do I wanna know what’s going on in there?”

Before he could reply, there was a loud bang from the living room, followed by a string of curses. Forgetting all worries of what may or may not have been the cause of the noises, you hurried into the other room with Harrison trailing behind you.

Tom laid on the floor, groaning in pain as he clutched his foot. Tessa, who had been checking up on her owner, popped up happily when she saw you, rushing over to greet you at your feet. Tom looked up at you and Harrison in the door, forcing out his best smile. You stared at the large tent that was currently taking up most of the space in the living room, questioningly.

“Why do you have a tent set up?” You asked. Tom hopped up off the floor, standing beside the tent.

“Well, our camping trip is this weekend, so I thought I’d make sure it’s still durable.” Tom said proudly. He put a hand against the tent in an attempt to be smooth, but the tent came collapsing down, making Tessa bolt behind you from the sudden loud noise.

“And he wanted to make sure he could actually set up a tent, which clearly he can’t,” Harrison stated, and Tom glared at him in response.

“Were you going to tell him?” You laughed, turning to the blond beside you.

“And miss the opportunity to see him struggle setting up a tent for forty minutes? No, I didn’t tell him.” He smirked, only making Tom more frustrated and embarrassed.

“Tom, it’s a cabin. You don’t need a tent unless you don’t want to stay with everyone else.” You explained. “I just said camping because it’s easier to call it that.”

“Fuck you, mate.” He grumbled to Harrison, flipping him off before starting to put away the mess of a tent. You stepped in to help him, and Harrison just laughed to himself before leaving.

“I really thought you would’ve known. Did you really think I’d invite you and Harrison to spend several days in the woods with me and my college friends in tents?” You joked, “Besides, I didn’t think you’d come if it was actual camping.”

Tom paused his movements, but you continued to undo the poles, taking no notice of his action, “Why wouldn’t I go if it was actual camping?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, looking at him with your usual charming smile, “You’re not the outdoorsy, camping type. You don’t exactly go out and rough it in the woods on the weekend, like Will or Tyler; you play golf with Harrison and your dad.”

While your words were well-intended and teasing, Tom couldn’t help but take them to heart. He took everything you said to heart.

It was hard for him to be so helplessly in love with you, his best friend (besides Harrison) from BRIT school, for the past few years while you were completely blind to it. Normally, he’d do little things to impress you because he still wasn’t sure if he wanted you to know about his feelings— if you knew, there was a chance you’d reject him, and Tom wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that happened. Recently though, he’s started to feel like his heart was going to explode if he didn’t tell you soon, but that didn’t mean he knew how to tell you.

So when you asked if he wanted to go on a camping trip with you, of course he said yes right away. His mind told him that, no, he really wasn’t the outdoorsy, “roughing it” kind of guy, but his heart told him it was a chance with you. He was a sap and thought that maybe he’d pluck up the courage to tell you how he felt under a moonlit campsite, maybe even the two of you could share a tent, maybe he could kiss you in the lake— god, did he want to kiss you.

That had all come crashing down when he’d realized it wasn’t a romantic camping getaway. You’d invited Harrison and a few college friends, friends that neither Tom nor Harrison had ever met. And there was one friend in particular who Tom never wanted to meet— Will, your ex-boyfriend. You two ended things mutually, but Tom couldn’t stop himself from feeling like he needed to compete against Will, especially when he discovered it was Will whose family owned the land you’d be camping on; Will who took you on hikes all around your college town; Will who taught you how to fish and how to kayak with the lakes nearby; Will who one time got bitten by a rattlesnake and sucked out the venom himself; Will who could climb any mountain and come back unscathed. Will was an outdoorsy “roughing it” badass fucker that Tom despised.

And now, you had just furthered proved that Tom was a delicate flower compared to the lumberjack prick that was Will. He didn’t care about being compared to Will’s best friend, Tyler, who (from what you’d told Tom) was in a serious relationship with your other friend, Jane. Besides Jane, the other person accompanying you all to the cabin was Rose, your best friend and Will’s sister. Needless to say, Tom was very grateful that Harrison was coming along too— he didn’t think he could handle a Will-centered week alone.

“We can just leave this for now. I know I promised you Nando’s before we leave.” Tom said, getting up from his spot on the floor.

“Are you sure? We can just get it on the way to the airport.” You said, looking at the tent mess before you.

“Come on, it’ll be fine.” He held a hand out to you and you took it, so that he could pull you up. Before you two could make it out the door, Harrison arrived downstairs with a loaded hiking backpack in hand.

“I know you’re not trying to sneak to Nando’s without me.” He said, and Tom glared at him from behind your back. Harrison was very well aware of Tom’s feelings for you— everyone was except for you, and he took every chance he could get at being a little shit about it, which included ruining quality time for Tom to spend with you.

The three of you left to grab your last meal in the UK before heading back to their house. Tom finished putting away the tent, and Harrison loaded up Harry’s car with your bags as well as his and Tom’s. Harry (through bribery from Tom) drove you all to the airport for the first step in your camping trip.

Since you went to school in the US, all of your friends would be meeting you across the pond. Will’s family cabin was located in Maine, so the flight wasn’t too bad for the three of you— though Tom wished it was longer so he could devise a more accurate plan to impress you this weekend. He had to prove that he could be the outdoorsy badass guy you wanted. He had to outcompete Will.

“Why would you have to outcompete him?” Harrison asked Tom after hearing his dilemma. Fortunately, you were getting the rental car for the three of you to make it to the cabin.

“Because it’s clearly a competition.” Tom stated, nervously fidgeting with his fingers as he looked over at you across the way. “She told me I’m not outdoorsy like Will- that makes it a competition and I have to beat him.”

As much as Harrison loved to see his friend fail at keeping it together around you, something felt wrong about telling him, ‘yeah, it’s totally a competition, so go beat up her lumberjack ex’. Instead, he tried, “I don’t think that’s what Y/N meant. You do golf more than you go camping.”

But Tom took no notice of his advice, “Just watch. I’m going to be the manliest man this weekend.”

“Hey guys,” You smiled, coming up to them, making Tom jump very unmanly-like in the process. “You ready to go?”

The journey to the cabin was a fairly long one. After a couple of hours of driving, you parked the car in one of those reserved parking lots off the side of the road. Tom and Harrison both looked around in confusion, spotting nothing but trees and a gas station.

“Why are we stopped?” Tom asked you as you got out of the car. Tom and Harrison followed you out of the car.

“We gotta hike in.” You replied. “The cabin’s down by the lake, so there’s no actual road to get there. It’s only about a mile and a half hike in. Be ready for lots of hiking. I think tomorrow we’re going to hike 12 miles.”

By the time you three got to the little a-frame cabin, it was already dinner time, which was great because that meant you three could sleep soon. The five hour time difference was already starting to hit. Before you could even step inside the cabin, your best friend met you with a bone-crushing hug.

“You’re here!” Rose smiled, stepping out of the hug after a moment.

“We made it.” You laughed. Your other friend, Jane, stepped up next to hug you. “I missed you two so much.”

“We missed you too.” Jane replied. You caught their eyes trailing over to Tom and Harrison behind you, and you remembered that they hadn’t met before.

“Oh, girls, this is Tom and Harrison; guys, this is Rose and Jane.” You introduced the two parties with a smile. After a polite exchanging of handshakes, you looked at the two girls curiously, “Where are the boys?”

“Will wanted to get in a light swim before dinner.” Rose laughed, and Jane made her way back to the kitchen. “Come on, I’ll show you your rooms.”

Rose gave the three of you a little tour of the cabin. The front door had placed you all in a little entryway room with a simple, wooden staircase taking up most of the room; a fireplace sat beside the stairs with a small loveseat across from it. Besides a rather large bookshelf, it was relatively empty, but elegantly simple nonetheless. There were four doors downstairs, all intricately designed with the same light wood color as the stairs. The first door on the left was explained to be Will’s room, and the second was Tyler and Jane’s. The third stood as the main bathroom, as Rose described it. The fourth door led to Tom and Harrison’s room.

It wasn’t very big— neither of the rooms were according to Rose, but that was the a-frame style of a quaint log cabin. A bunk bed sat on the side of the room with a small wood dresser across from it. There was enough space for the two boys to coexist, and Tom was just grateful he didn’t have to bunk with Will of all people; he was glad he had his best friend with him.

The upstairs of the cabin held the open space of the kitchen and the main living room. With large glass windows covering one of the walls, the living room had a magnificent view of the woods outside, and three couches were set in place to overlook it. Under the couches sat a large bear rug, one which both Tom and Harrison eyed suspiciously at first before Rose laughed it off, reassuring them that it was fake. Behind the couches, the dining room was situated beneath a beautiful antler chandelier and set for eight places, completing the rustic vibe of the cabin. The kitchen, while it was small, seemed to be just as well put together as the rest of the cabin, complete with a breakfast bar. The smell of Jane’s favorite lemon salmon filled the air, making you even more excited for dinner.

Next was your own room, which was just past the kitchen. A queen bed was pushed in a nook with only the foot of the bed accessible. Unlike Tom and Harrison, you and Rose didn’t mind sharing a bed, which is why they got the smallest room downstairs. Right beside your bedroom door was another bathroom.

“You brought stuff for s’mores, right?” You asked Rose as you walked with her, Tom, and Harrison off the cabin’s porch to the nearby shed where they kept all of their hiking and lake gear.

“Yes, absolutely!” She eagerly replied, a happy skip in her step.

“S’mores are a real thing?” Tom questioned in disbelief.

“Of course! You can’t camp without—” You let out a shriek as you felt cold, wet arms wrap around your waist, picking you up and spinning you around. You laughed, immediately knowing it was Will. “Oh my god, Will! Put me down! You’re all wet.”

Will chuckled, setting you back down on the solid ground, “Well, if it gets you wet.”

“Fuck off.” You scoffed, smacking his chest playfully. It was then that you realized he was shirtless— shirtless and dripping wet from the lake and gloriously tan and somehow more built than the last time you saw him. Tyler, on the other hand, was still Tyler; still an attractive young guy, but not attractive to you and that most likely has to do with him dating Jane for as long as you’ve known him.

“Ty!” You smiled, hugging him tightly, not even caring if your clothes got wet and gross anymore. You’d just change later when you could.

Tom straightened up a bit, already feeling uneasy about Will’s presence. Will looked like the lovechild of Zac Efron and Chris Evans, with a hint of Scott Eastwood; he was perfect, there was nothing wrong with him. It made Tom question why you two broke up. Even though Tom knew you’d said it was mutual, he also knew it took a lot for girls to walk away from guys that look like that. Meanwhile, Harrison just bit his lip to keep from commenting on his friend’s ridiculous territorial issues.

“So, you two must be Tom and Harrison.” Will held out a hand to them, smiling politely. Tom took his hand, trying to subtly shake it sternly as if to prove he was better than Will— childish, Tom knew it, but he already hated this guy with his six pack abs and perfectly white smile. Will didn’t back down though, squeezing Tom’s hand equally as hard. Noticing both guys tensing up, you looked between them awkwardly, having never seen either of them put on the tough guy act.

With introductions out of the way, you all trekked back inside the cabin. While Will, Tyler, and even you changed into dry clothes, Rose helped Jane finish dinner, leaving Tom to frustratedly rant to Harrison in their room.

“God, he’s so annoying.” Tom scoffed.

“He said two words to you.” Harrison stated, “Try to play nice. I don’t think Y/N wants you two to keep having a ‘my dick’s bigger’ contest.”

“But mine is and I know it!” He exclaimed, before realizing he didn’t know how thin the walls were- and how odd that implication was, “Whatever. He’s stupid. This trip’s stupid.”

Harrison was too busy laughing to even attempt a response to his friend. Instead, there was a knock on the door, pulling both of them from their conversation. Tom opened the door and immediately softened when he saw you, clad in one of his old sweatshirts that he didn’t even realize you still had. It gave him a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t need to worry that much about Will this week.

“Nice shirt.” Tom commented with a smile.

“Thanks,” You smiled back, “I’ve actually been meaning to give it back to you.”

“What? Why?”

“Is dinner ready?” Harrison asked, cutting off the two of you and reminding you both of his presence. As if on cue, his stomach growled loudly.

“Yes, it is.” You laughed, almost embarrassed from forgetting why you had been at their door in the first place. You tugged on Tom’s hand, pulling him out of the room. Harrison grumbled something dejectedly, but you paid no mind to it. Tom sent his friend an apologetic look, though he made no attempt to make Harrison any less of the unofficial third wheel on the journey upstairs to the dinner table.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Tom how you sat beside Will, even if Tom got the free seat beside you. Harrison slipped into the seat next to him with Rose to his right. The dinner of salmon with potatoes, salad, and bread seemed simple enough, but it was still quite possibly the best fish you’d ever had.

“Did you get a bone?” You asked Tom, seeing him awkwardly moving his mouth like his tongue was fishing out a hard piece of salmon. Blushing from you calling attention to his struggle, he held up a napkin to cover his mouth, trying to spit out the bone without it looking too gross.

“Yeah,” He admitted sheepishly, muffled by the napkin.

“I thought you got them all out.” Jane said, looking at Tyler expectantly.

“Don’t look at me, that was Will’s job.” Tyler laughed as he used his friend as the scapegoat.

“Must’ve missed one.” Will shrugged, before joking, “You’re still welcome that I caught these.”

“You caught this salmon?” You said, “I thought you only did catch and release?”

“I still do, for the most part, but this salmon was too good of an opportunity to pass up.” He explained. Tom was already boiling with embarrassment, and now he had jealousy bubbling over- of course this perfect fish was caught by the perfect outdoor man beside you.

“So, Tom, Harrison, we were talking about going for a run around the lake tomorrow morning. Want to come?” Tyler asked.

“Sure. How far?” Harrison replied, and Tom nodded in agreement.

“The loop’s about five miles.” Will answered.

“Are you going to run with us?” Tom asked you, knowing back home in Kingston you’d sometimes join Harrison on runs. Tom wasn’t the type to just go out for a casual run like his best friend was, but he wasn’t about to back down from this.

“Nah, you two can keep up with the cross country runners.” You joked, “I’d much rather save my energy for the hike.”

Once dinner ended and no one choked on any more fishbones, you all migrated to the couches. Much to Tom’s chagrin, you sat in the middle couch between Will and Rose, while Tom and Harrison sat on the couch opposite a very cuddled up Jane and Tyler. The fireplace in the corner crackled, keeping the room comfortably warm. When Rose suggested you all play charades, the entertainment for the evening was decided, especially considering the cabin had very weak cell-signal and no television.

“What are the teams?” You asked, sitting dead in the middle of everyone with three friends to your left and three to your right.

“Let’s do 3 against 4, so you choose who you wanna be with, Y/N.” Jane suggested as Rose stood up to get a boxed set of charade cards from the game cabinet near the kitchen. You looked between the two sets of friends. You wanted to lean towards Tom, Harrison, and Rose, because the two boys were incredible at charades, and Rose was your go-to partner for Password at least.

“Come on, you know you wanna be with us.” Will teased, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

“Just for that, nope.” You laughed and took his arm off you. You stood up from that couch and squeezed in between Tom and the arm. To make room for you and to mock Will, Tom casually put his arm on your shoulder and you made no effort to take it off.

Rose returned with the box of cards and the game began with you and Jane pantomiming first. The words ranged from silly ones like centipede to more inventive ones like lapdance; either way, you all were laughing and enjoying the evening. Tom was highly appreciative of the humor because more than once, you laughed so hard that you fell into him, clutching his knee or completely falling over into his lap. It wasn’t anything out of the usual for him to see you so effortlessly happy, but he enjoyed all the little touches.

“Okay, okay.” You breathed out, doing your best to compose yourself. You stood up from the couch with Tyler so that you two could read the answer and continue the round. Reading over the card, “Catch 22”, you began to think about what you could do to act out the card. As if it wasn’t impossible enough to describe it with words, you had to act it out. But then the lightbulb went off- you had a secret advantage and he was sitting right in front of you, as long as he could figure it out.

“Ready?” Tyler asked you nervously, and you nodded. Tyler started with the usual way of beginning: how many words and what it is. You immediately pointed at Harrison.

“Me?” Harrison spoke in confusion, and you nodded before pointing to your stomach, doing your best to act his death from the series.

“Catch 22?” Tom offered, and Harrison looked at him dumbfounded, still trying to connect how it was him as your main clue.

“Ah, thank god.” You smiled, cheering as he guessed it right. Tyler and the others sighed.

“How the fuck did you get that?” Jane questioned.

“Haz, here, was in the show.” Tom replied, proud of his friend. You were surprised by your college friends’ collective shock, but you were most intrigued by Rose’s reaction.

“Oh my god, I thought you looked familiar.” She said, impressed.

“Wait, you actually saw it?” Harrison asked.

“Yeah, I think I might have cried when you died.” She admitted, brushing a loose hair behind her ear, and that’s when it clicked for you- she was totally into Harrison.

“And you’re an actor too, Tom, right?” Will spoke up, casually taking a drink of his beer. You eyed him skeptically; he knew Tom was an actor. Back when you two were dating, you’d talk about your best friend’s accomplishments, so why was he now asking? Your only answer was it would clearly get a rise out of, at least, you, if not Tom as well.

“Yeah, only been in little indie movies. Nothing anyone’s heard of.” Tom played it off jokingly, causing you to smack him on the arm a little, your hand resting on his bicep.

“My mom loves that movie you did with Ewan McGregor.” Rose commented.

“Ah yeah,” Will laughed, “The one where you’re like 12.”

“I wasn’t 12, but thank you.” Tom replied sarcastically, and you could tell he was biting back a scoff.

“Well, we’ve all seen the Marvel movies so you can brag a little about those.” You teased, making him blush.

“I know I cried when everyone was getting dusted.” Jane stated in a way to poke fun at Rose’s previous words.

“Never saw them.” Will shrugged carelessly.

“Yes, you did.” You corrected him immediately, and you felt Tom tense a little under your touch. While Tom liked that you were being supportive about this, he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.

Will acknowledged Tom’s clenched jaw and decided to press it a bit further, “Babe, if you’re talking about Infinity War, then, no, I didn’t pay attention.” He chuckled, “Don’t you remember we were in the middle of something?”

Tom wondered, at first, what he meant exactly. You dropped your hand from Tom’s arm and covered your face in embarrassment, but before you could comment, Rose let out a whine, “Gross, I was right next to you two.”

“Not like you’ve never gotten it on in a movie theater.” Tyler joked.

“Can we please not talk about this?” You groaned, getting up from the couch. “I’m going to bed. I’m tired.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Jane stated as she stood up with a yawn. You closed your door, escaping to the privacy of your room, not wanting to think about how your ex just told everyone about that night- in your defense, you’d already seen the movie before so you weren’t missing anything.

Tyler and Will followed after Jane, leaving Tom, Harrison and Rose as they cleaned up the few cards that were left out. Feeling the awkwardness radiating off of Tom, Rose delicately spoke up, “Will’s just being a dick.”

“It’s fine.” Tom reassured her.

“Did you really cry when I died?” Harrison asked her the question that’d been on his mind since the second she’d made the comment. They started talking about the show, and Tom took that as a sign to leave. He thought for a moment about knocking on your door and checking in on you, but then he realized it might be too uncomfortable for you to talk about. There were times, like tonight with charades, that Tom considered maybe you liked him back, based on all your little touches here and there, but then, with Will’s comments floating around his mind, his thoughts were plagued by the doom of the friendzone. Tom didn’t know if he’d be able to sleep tonight knowing that you and your annoying ex ‘got it on’ in the theater during his own movie- what if he was dying on screen but you were too enraptured in Will to cry like Rose had cried over Harrison dying?

Tom only had a few minutes to himself before Harrison came back into their shared room, asking him, “How’re you feeling about the run tomorrow?”

“It’s going to kill me.” Tom sighed, and Harrison shrugged before climbing into the top bunk.

“Should’ve been running with me.” He laughed, “It’s not even that far.”

“I haven’t run five straight miles since Jake nearly killed me at the gym.” He replied, tidying up his bag.

“Why are you cleaning?” Harrison asked, looking down at his friend. “Are you worried Y/N’s going to come into the room or something?”

“Shove off.” Tom grumbled. Harrison took off his sweaty socks that he’d neglected to remove before getting into his bed and threw them down at his friend. One missed Tom completely, and the other clung to his shoulder. “That’s fucking gross.”

“If you’re cleaning, then clean them up.” He snickered. Tom threw the sock back at his friend, but it missed and weakly fell to the ground. A knock came from the other side of the door, and Tom opened it, smiling when he saw it was you, his absolute favorite person on this godforsaken trip. While you looked rather cute in your casual summer pajamas, he frowned when he saw his sweatshirt in your hands.

“Are you returning it?” He asked, and you laughed.

“It doesn’t smell like you anymore.” You said quietly, hoping Harrison didn’t hear your words. You held it out to Tom, “I figured I can give it back to you for a time, and then steal it once it smells like you again.”

“Wait a second.” Tom took the sweatshirt from you and disappeared into the room, rummaging through his once neat backpack to grab out another sweatshirt. He handed it to you, “Maybe this could suffice for now?”

Smiling, you sniffed it a little before tugging it on, “Thanks. It’s so cold upstairs, I don’t know how I’d sleep without it.”

“You could always bring your own.” Harrison said from the top bunk. Tom turned and chucked the other sweatshirt at him. You rolled your eyes at his words.

“Watch it, Osterfield, or your mattress is going to end up in the middle of the lake with you still sleeping on it.” You playfully threatened.

“I’m quaking with fear.” He laughed, laying down on the bed out of sight.

“Well, I should go.” You told Tom, “Thank you for the sweatshirt. Good night.”

“Good night, Y/N.” He smiled softly at you. As you walked away, he slowly closed the door, pleased with himself and his choice in sweatshirts. He turned to finish getting ready for bed, just in time for Harrison to throw the sweatshirt back at him.

“I will kick you out of this room.” Tom grumbled.

“I’d like to see you try.”

You didn’t sleep well that night. Even with Tom’s sweatshirt, your room was unbearably cold, and it didn’t help that Rose snored. With only a few hours of sleep under your belt, you woke up the next morning to the sun streaming in through the large window behind the bed and Rose already up and out of the room. You padded into the kitchen, making yourself some tea with the rustic teapot that was set out on the counter. Spotting Rose and Jane standing out on the balcony, you made your way outside.

“Good morning.” You said through a yawn, coming to stand beside Rose.

“We were wondering when you were going to wake up.” Jane teased. You looked at your two friends quizzically, taking a sip of your steaming tea.

“You already missed part one of the gun show.” Rose joked, sitting up straighter to look over the edge of the balcony, “They should be back any second.”

“Oh God.” You laughed, remembering the boys and their run this morning.

“I know I’m with Tyler, but damn, Y/N.” She teased, and Rose nudged you playfully. “Here they come.”

Seeing motion through the trees, you looked over at the runners. It was obvious they were racing the last bit of the run, considering how triumphant Harrison looked when he arrived first with Will right on his tail. And then came Tyler, and finally Tom. There was probably only a few seconds between their arrival, but it was still amusing to spy the looks on their faces. They were all shirtless and glistening in a layer of sweat, and they hadn’t noticed the three of you on the balcony at all- not that you were complaining. You’d rather not have them catch you all checking them out so unabashedly.

“Look at that. 24 abs right there.” Jane let out a small sigh. While her comment was for all four boys, her eyes stayed trained on Tyler. Rose, on the other hand, had her eyes on Harrison’s figure, which you noted to tease her about later. But you, you couldn’t help but check out Tom’s bare torso- there was a reason you didn’t watch either Spider-Man movie with him- you always ended up a little too focused on his shirtless scenes.

“Enjoying the show?” Tyler called up to the three of you, a cheeky smirk on his face, as they all made their way up to the cabin. You could’ve sworn you saw Tom blush a little when he met your gaze before Harrison playfully shoved his friend, making Tom lose focus on you and shove him right back.

“Boys.” Rose laughed quietly to you. You bit your lip, nodding in agreement.

“I’m glad I didn’t miss part two.”

The boys made their way into the kitchen, seeking out some water and gatorade as you and the girls went back inside to greet them. The sweet smell of salmon from last night was gone, overthrown by the ever lovely smell of sweaty men.

“It smells like a gym in here.” Rose gagged in disgust.

“I would’ve gone for sweaty ballsack, but yours is much nicer.” Jane laughed.

“Janie would know.” Will teased, clapping Tyler on the shoulder as he drank from his water, making the other choke a little.

“So how was the run?” You asked Tom as he and Harrison came over to you, Tom’s bottle of gatorade almost gone already. The other four got engrossed in their own conversation.

“Just a small workout, nothing too bad.” He replied, brushing it off.

“He was dying.” Harrison stated, making you laugh. “I told him he’s got to run with me more.”

“Well, you won, Haz, so congrats.” You replied.

“How did you know we were racing?” Tom asked. His ears turned pink from thinking that you knew he came in last.

“The four of you act like teenage boys; of course you’re going to make a race out of a casual run.” You teased.

“We should probably go stretch before our muscles tighten up again.” Harrison said, already backing up towards the stairs. Tom made his way to follow him, and you spoke up.

“I’ll come with.” You offered, setting your mug of tea on the counter. You followed them downstairs and out to the patio, feeling like you might as well spend some alone time with your two closest friends.

“You two think you can make it on the hike today?” You teased, already seeing Tom walk a little funny.

“Yeah, yeah, we got this.” He reassured you, sitting down on the solid ground to start stretching his legs. You started to stretch with them, and Harrison looked at you funny for it.

“Why are you stretching?” He asked with a laugh.

“It helps with flexibility.” You shrugged, switching legs as they did, all three of you mirroring the same poses. “How was the lake?”

“It was nice. We weren’t exactly looking at it though.” Tom replied with a chuckle.

“I don’t know, you were going so slow, I thought you were.” Harrison joked and Tom kicked his foot out, hitting Harrison in the leg.

“It’s shit like this that made me believe you were racing.” You laughed.

“I don’t do long distance running. I like focusing on my abs a lot more.” Tom defended himself. You flicked your eyes down to his abs, nodding a little, but Tom was so focused on his stretching that he had missed your small action, whereas Harrison fully caught it. He laughed, sending you a wink, and you flipped him off. Tom caught that exchange though, “Did I miss something?”

“Nope.” You replied quickly, only making Harrison laugh harder, “He’s just being a dumbass. Onto hamstrings.”

The three of you laid down to stretch your hamstrings, and you heard Tom let out a small groan from beside you. “I can’t do this. I fucking hate leg day.”

“Need help?” You offered. Before he could protest, you were already on your feet. He held his leg up as high as he could, and you pressed on his foot to stretch his hamstring even more.

“What if I need help too?” Harrison pouted, even though he was stretching his leg just fine.

“Sorry, Haz, it’s just you and your hand.” You joked, making Tom laugh.

“I see how it is. Ha ha, it’s me and my hand, and Tom and your hand, Y/N.” He sarcastically replied, as you dropped Tom’s leg and he bent his knee for you to lean on his shin. You helped him to deepen the stretch through his leg.

“Someone’s jealous.” Tom said, before grimacing a little.

“Was that too far?” You asked, loosening your hold on his leg, not wanting to overstretch his hamstring.

“A little.” He replied.

“God, Y/N don’t be so rough on him.” Harrison piped in, still having no issue stretching on his own.

“Haz, if you’re going to be a pouty baby about not having a stretching buddy, talk to Rose. She was totally checking you out earlier.” You stated, trying to change the conversation off of Harrison’s unnecessary innuendos. You let go of Tom’s leg and reached for his foot to stretch his other hamstring.

“Wait, really?” He asked, dropping his leg to peer at you with a serious look on his face.

“Yeah, why would I lie to you about that?” You laughed, “Besides, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her read a book, so I think she was lying about Catch 22.”

Flustered, Wide eyed and blushing, Harrison mumbled something about grabbing a shower before bolting off. You exchanged a curious look with Tom, but he followed after his friend.

You made your way inside after them and went to fix yourself another cup of tea. When you saw Will alone in the kitchen, you momentarily considered changing your mind and going to your rook, but it was too late, as he had already seen you.

“Want a cup?” He asked, holding up the coffee pot after he finished pouring himself a cup.

“No thanks.” You replied and made your way to the kettle.

“Enjoy the show earlier? Tyler and I started this new training routine that’s supposed to help with bulking up.” Will said. It took everything in you to not roll your eyes at his words.

“And how’s that working out for you?” You asked, not even trying to hide your disinterest. You still hadn’t forgiven him for his immature comments last night. Plus, the more you saw Will interact with Tom, the more justified you felt with your annoyance.

Will stepped closer to you. Slowly, he took one of your hands in his and pressed it to his abs, and you’d be lying if you said you couldn’t feel every part of his toned stomach. As much as you hated to admit it, you felt like you were falling under his trance again. “There’s more where that came from. Why don’t you come by my room tonight?”

He dropped your hand, and you were pulled out of your foggy state. You stepped away, turning away from him to continue getting yourself some tea. You felt his body envelope yours from behind. His head rested on your shoulder and his hands smoothed over your waist. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he murmured, “I miss you.”

At his words, something inside of you snapped and you jolted away from his embrace, slapping his hands away. Firmly, you said, “I don’t miss you.”

Will left the room without another word, and you were left to ponder what the hell just happened as you stood alone in the kitchen.

It wasn’t until a few hours later that you all left on the hike, trailing through the towering trees to make your way to a nearby peak. You all stopped a few times for water and some food, and to even just enjoy nature. Between Jane’s ornithology degree, Tyler’s botany background, and Will’s forestry knowledge, identifying the different birds, plants, and trees around you was relatively easy.

“Can you imagine if we studied something environmental too?” Rose joked, nudging you in the shoulder as Jane mindlessly went on about the bird that had flown past nearly ten minutes ago.

“God, it would never end.” You laughed.

“What did you study?” Harrison asked Rose, making you look at Tom and roll your eyes at your friends.

“I’m a nurse.” She replied, and the two got swept into their own conversation.

“You sore yet?” You asked Tom, poking him in the side as you all continued the hike uphill.

“Me? Sore? Never.” He laughed. He shook his head to try to hide the slight hurt from the question. First, you didn’t think he was outdoorsy enough and now you think he can’t handle doing some mileage. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Oh sure.” You smiled at him. Tyler pointed out a specific plant as you all passed it, talking about the intricate properties of the shrub.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused about nature.” Tom mumbled to you quietly. Since you two were far enough behind Tyler, Jane, and Will, they couldn’t hear his comment.

“Don’t worry. I have no clue what he’s talking about either.” You reassured him before letting out a small yawn.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” He asked, looking over at you in concern.

“Someone was snoring a bit too loud for me to sleep.” You said, loud enough for Rose to hear. She stopped and spun around to face you, face red in embarrassment.

“It’s a nasal condition! You know how I get when it’s cold!” She defended. As much as she tried to sound angry, she still had a small smile on her face.

“Love you, Rose.” You blew her a kiss, laughing at her reaction. She and Harrison turned back around and continued their conversation about who knows what.

“I think Harrison’s got a nasal condition too.” Tom whispered, making you stifle a laugh to not draw attention back to the two of you.

“Rose doesn’t even snore that loud.” You admitted quietly, “Even with your sweatshirt, I was still too cold to sleep.”

“I can give you another one when we get back. You can double up.” He offered, “But it was pretty cold last night.”

“Thanks. I’ll probably take you up on that.” You smiled softly at him. “You know, I’m really happy you came.”

“I’m happy I came, too. Thanks for inviting me.” He replied, and you nodded in response. Tom paused after a moment, stopping his tracks to look at you with furrowed eyebrows, “Wait, did you not expect me to come?”

You looked at him in confusion, before answering, “I mean I did, but-“

“But I’m not outdoorsy, so you didn’t think I’d actually be here.” Tom grumbled in agitation, beginning to walk again quickly to catch up to the group. You ran up after him.

“Is that what this is about?” You questioned, your voice unintentionally raised, “That I said you weren’t the camping type back home?”

Harrison and Rose turned to look at the two of you, and Tom just bit his tongue to keep from exploding about the sensitive subject. He knew he shouldn’t have asked, but he just felt so inadequate with Will going on and on about trees and shit.

“What is going on with you?” You questioned with a huff of frustration.

“It’s nothing. Let’s just keep going.” Tom stated, shaking his head.

“I’m not going one more step until you tell me what the hell is up.”

“What’s the hold up?” Will called back when he noticed the stop in your hike. Tom went to step forward to continue the journey, but missed his footing on a particularly slick patch of leaves.

A collective, concerned shout came from you and Harrison as Tom hit the ground. He groaned in pain, and Rose came to his side. All frustration at him slipped out of you as worry flooded your system.

“Tom, oh my god- are you okay?” You asked.

“I think I rolled my ankle.” Tom said, cradling his ankle in his lap.

Rose looked at it briefly, no noticeable swelling or bruising yet. “Can you stand on it?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He replied before pushing himself to his feet. He bit back a grimace, standing on his ankle as normal, and you didn’t seem to be the only one to notice it. “Let’s finish the hike, yeah?”

“You’re not hiking on that.” Rose shook her head with a small laugh.

“I don’t want to hold you all back. I can manage it, really.”

“It’s fine. We’ll continue on. Y/N can lead you back.” Jane spoke up, a little smirk playing on her lips.

“I’ll go with.” Harrison offered.

“As the house nurse, I feel obligated to walk back with him.” Rose added, and you caught the blush that touched her cheeks.

And just like that, it was settled. You, Rose, and Harrison would walk back with Tom, who was doing his best not to limp, which everyone saw through. Rose and Harrison made conversation the whole walk back, while you and Tom just stayed awkwardly silent. By the time you all made it back to the house, he still hadn’t spoken to you. You went to put away your hiking gear and found Tom a few minutes later, sitting on the porch as he looked at the forest before him, an ice pack on his elevated ankle to help with potential swelling.

“I meant what I said.” You spoke up quietly as you sat in the chair beside him. When he just continued to look straight ahead and not physically acknowledge your presence, you continued, “I am really happy that you’re here, Tom. I didn’t say that because I didn’t think you’d want to come. The only reason I wouldn’t expect you to come is because you’re always busy. I guess what I really meant was that I’m grateful you were able to make time for me this week, especially because I know the countless other, more fun things you could be doing right now. It really means a lot.”

After another brief silent moment passed between the two of you, he looked over at you with a small frown on his face. “Why would you think I wouldn’t make time for you?”

“Like I said, you’re busy. You do one movie after the other, and I feel like we hardly see each other anymore. It’s,” You trailed off, searching for the right word, “comforting that you’d want to spend your free time with me.”

“You’re my best friend. Of course, I’d want to spend time with you.”

You knew his words were sweet and that he meant every single one of them, but you still felt a small, subtle twist in your gut. Another unnatural silence fell between the two of you until Rose came outside like a true savior.

“We’re planning on making s’mores tonight, are you down?” She asked, a cheery smile on her face.

“I’m offended you’re even asking me that.” You stated, and she rolled her eyes at you. You turned to Tom, smiling, “You’re going to love them. Just don’t burn yourself.”

“Burn myself?” He looked at you as if you were crazy, making you laugh.

“Don’t scare him.” Rose teased, “Besides, my money’s on Harrison burning himself first.”

“I heard that!” He called from inside the cabin through the screen door.

Just as Rose was about to leave to go back inside, Tom spoke up, raising his hand a little, still confused, “How do you burn yourself on s’mores?”

Several hours later, he got his answer.

“Ow, fuck, shit, ow.” Harrison cursed, dropping his burnt marshmallow into the dirt.

“That’s how.” You laughed as Rose clinked her s’more against yours.

“How do you know when it’s ready?” Tom asked, eyeing the marshmallow at the end of his stick. He slowly rotated the stick in his hands just as you had told him to do.

“Golden brown are the best, but they’re tricky to make because you can burn them instantly, which is what Harrison did.” You teased your blond friend beside you before taking a bite of your perfect s’more and turning back to face Tom on your other side. “Burnt ones aren’t bad, they just have a more burnt flavor, obviously.”

“So is it ready yet?” He questioned, but he was looking at you not at his roasting marshmallow.

“No,” You giggled. You finished off your s’more with another bite and scooted closer to him on the log. You placed your hand on top of his on the stick, twisting it so that the marshmallow was a few inches above the flame instead of right by the firewood. “And you just keep rotating it. You can see there’s already a gold hue to it.”

You smiled, looking over at him to find him already gazing at you with a soft smile of his own playing on his lips. The light from the campfire made his brown eyes sparkle with specks of gold.

“It’s burning!” Jane exclaimed, and you quickly retracted the stick and marshmallow, blowing out the fire on the now burned marshmallow.

“Well, it’s golden on one side, but burnt marshmallows are an essential part of the s’mores making business.” You said as you passed the stick back to Tom. You gathered the two parts of a graham cracker as well as some Hershey’s chocolate and set it up for a s’more.

“I think I need help with this part.” Tom admitted with a chuckle.

“So you put the marshmallow here.” You pointed at the graham cracker topped with a piece of chocolate. He moved the stick to put the marshmallow in its proper position, and then you put the other half of the graham cracker on top. Grasping the two graham crackers with the marshmallow in the middle, you finished, “And now pull out.”

“Hah, pull out.” Tyler laughed at the innuendo through a face full of his double stacked s’mores. Tom did as told, his eyes lighting up in excitement when you presented him his very own s’more.

“Ta-da. It’s real rocket science, isn’t it?” You joked, and Harrison elbowed you, still grumpy that he had lost his first marshmallow and burnt his hand trying to catch it.

“Burnt and fallen marshmallows are just casualties of s’more making.” Rose said.

“S’mores have to be the thing I miss most about living here— the U.K. just doesn’t do camping quite as well.” You stated, shaking your head a little in disbelief.

“How could you miss s’mores more than us?” Will asked, a playfulness in his voice, but you could recognize the serious undertones of his words.

“I’d miss s’mores more than I’d miss you.” Rose teased, saving you from having to actually think of a response.

“Hand me a marshmallow. I’m ready to try again for a golden one.” Tom said to you, and you reached over into the marshmallow bag beside you, slipping him the soft treat.

“Good luck.” You encouraged him with a laugh.

Tom’s second attempt ended up burnt as well, and you gladly ate it while he made his third one. By the time it was golden brown and ready to be eaten, Jane, Tyler, and even Will had retired for the night.

“That tastes so much better not burnt to a crisp.” Tom said, impressed by his own marshmallow-roasting skills.

“Camping heaven.” You agreed, finishing off the s’more he’d burned earlier.

Rose stood up with a small sigh, stretching her arms. “I think I might head to bed.”

“Me too.” Harrison stated, getting up after her. Tom looked at him questioningly, and you bit your lip, giving Rose a teasing look. She rolled her eyes at you, smiling to herself as she turned to head towards the cabin.

Noticing how Harrison’s hand caught hers once they were a decent distance from the campfire, you called out to them, “Good night!”

“Night!” They chorused back.

“Haz and Rose seem to have hit it off.” Tom commented once they were inside. Your eyes drifted from the dying fire up to the starry sky overhead.

“Yeah, they really have.” You nodded, caught up focusing on the twinkling lights above you. Quietly, you admitted, “I’ll never get tired of looking at the stars.”

“I bet your neck will.” He joked, making you shake your head.

“They’re just so beautiful.” You mumbled.

“Really beautiful.” You heard Tom murmur under his breath. Your eyes flickered over to him, noticing how he was definitely staring at you and not the stars in the sky. When he turned to face the campfire, your eyes diverted back up to the stars, trying your best to suppress how fast your heart was racing.

“I used to know all of the constellations too. Will and I used to camp a lot, and I’d just study the stars until I fell asleep.” You confessed, attempting to strike up a conversation to keep you from your thoughts. When Tom said nothing in reply, a small sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes trailed back down to Tom beside you. Staring right into the dying campfire, he looked deep in thought.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked him, nudging him a little with your shoulder.

“It’s nothing.” Tom shook his head, but his attempts to play off his thoughts didn’t work on you. After a moment, he spoke up, barely meeting your eyes as he did so, “Did you and Will really— you know— in my movie—“ he trailed off, not wanting to finish his question. He was already apprehensive about the answer, and yet he couldn’t help himself from asking.

“In Infinity War?” You asked, laughing lightly at his question, or lack thereof. Looking up towards the sky again, you replied, “Unless you count the fastest handjob ever, no, we didn’t.”

Tom was silent, making you look back over at him. His shoulders were shaking as he bit his lip, doing his best to stifle his laughter.

“Shut up.” You scoffed, playfully hitting his arm. “It wasn’t like you were dying in the scene or anything. You weren’t even on the screen.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He insisted, before breaking into a fit of laughter, unable to contain it any longer. In that moment, you felt complete tranquility. Tom’s laughter broke through the silence of the atmosphere, making your heart flutter in happiness. His eyes were shut, and you could count every crinkle by his eyes. With the fire illuminating his features just right, he was positively glowing. If you wanted any moment to last forever, it was this one. Tom settled his laughter, “Sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing, but it’s just-” He paused, and his smile faltered momentarily, “It’s a relief.”

“A relief?” You repeated before you could help yourself, and Tom realized his words.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, thinking on his feet of an explanation, “It would’ve been really awkward if I was dying, and you and Will- yeah.” He stopped himself short, and a comfortable silence overcame the two of you.

“How’s your ankle feeling?” You asked, not wanting the conversation to end. If it ended, then that meant the night was over and your precious alone time with Tom was over.

“It’s fine, now. Honestly, it didn’t hurt that much.” He replied with a bit of a nod. You watched as he sucked in a tight breath, “I’m sorry about what happened earlier on the hike. I got frustrated and a little jealous. I was so determined to prove that I could be like Will that I just ended up being a dick.”

His words took a moment to sink in, but you found a small smile breaking over your face as you understood the layers of their meaning. You reached out and touched his knee. Softly, you admitted, “You have no reason to be jealous over Will. I’d never want you to be like him. The main reason that I broke up with him was because, well, he’s not you.”

You could see Tom think about your words for a moment before, ever so slowly, he started to lean in. Tom’s lips seemed to fit perfectly with yours, tenderly moving in sync as you both caved into your suppressed feelings. With one hand cupping your cheek, Tom’s other hand moved to your waist, pulling you in closer to him. You paid no mind to the uncomfortableness of your position on the log, too lost in the kiss to think straight. For the second time that night, you wished that this moment would last forever.

But it came to a quick, bittersweet end as Tom pulled away. His face stayed close to yours, his breath fanning over your face. A smile crossed his lips, “That took us way too long.”

“Way, way too long.” You agreed. He went to pull you in for another kiss, but the sudden cold of the dying fire pulled you two back to reality. Almost reluctantly, you said, “I guess we should probably head inside.”

It was far too cold for either of you to want to stay outside without the comforting heat. Gathering the food and putting out the last of the fire, you two walked back to the cabin, hand in hand.

“Thank you for the s’mores.” Tom said quietly to you, aware that most likely everyone in the cabin was sleeping. He placed the last couple bags of marshmallows and graham crackers on the kitchen counter (the chocolate was all eaten long ago), and you made a mental note to take care of it in the morning.

“Any time.” You joked softly. Tom leaned in to give you a quick, but just as sweet good night kiss.

As he made his way over to the stairs, he spoke up again, “Don’t get too cold tonight.”

“Good night, Tom.” You laughed lightly, turning towards your bedroom door.

“Good night, Y/N.”

With one last exchange of soft, sleepy smiles, you both turned to go your separate ways.

When you entered your quaint cabin room, you were met with Rose’s snores, a sharp contrast to your favorite sound that was Tom’s laughter from moments ago. You quietly maneuvered around the room, getting ready for bed. A smile ghosted your lips as you tugged on Tom’s hoodie. The familiar warmth and scent enveloping you comfortably.

You waited for sleep to overcome you on the cold bed; it felt like hours (when really, it was probably only ten minutes) before you finally decided to get up. With a small sigh, you shuffled out of the bed. Maybe the couch would give you more peace than your shared room.

As you made your way out of your room, you heard a door downstairs open. Curiously, you peeked down the staircase to see Tom emerging from the bathroom, in nothing but basketball shorts.

“What are you still doing up?” Tom asked you with his voice just above a whisper. You silently made your way down the stairs until you were in front of him.

“Couldn’t sleep. The room hasn’t gotten any warmer since last night.” You admitted, subconsciously crossing your arms.

“Come here.” Tom slowly uncrossed your arms, taking one of your hands loosely in his. He led you to his room. The door creaked open and shed some light into the dark bedroom. Wordlessly, he brought you over to his bed and dropped your hand to shuffle the blankets.

“What about Haz?” You whispered as Tom slipped into his bed, laying sideways and as close to the wall as possible to make some room for you.

“It’ll be fine.” He reassured you. You slid into the bed, finding comfort under the blankets. You laid on your side facing Tom, and it was then that you realized just how small the twin bed was— you two were close enough to each other that you could feel his minty breath fan over your cheeks, which still made you nervous even though just ten minutes ago he’d kissed you.

“We’re never going to fall asleep like this.” You teased softly. Tom let out a quiet laugh, shuffling so he was flatter on his back, giving you room to lay in his arms. With your head pressed to his bare chest and his strong arms circling around you, you finally found warmth.

“You’re really warm.” You mumbled into his chest, snuggling into his embrace and letting your legs tangle comfortably with his. It wasn’t the first time the two of you had cuddled, but it was the first time the two of you have cuddled on a tiny bed and with him being shirtless.

“Makes me the best cuddling partner.” Tom mumbled, his chest shaking lightly underneath you as he chuckled. You hummed in agreement, a smile forming on your face.

“Do you two ever shut up?” You heard Harrison question from the bunk above you.

“Do you always have to ruin a perfectly good moment?” Tom replied, and you subconsciously snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“I better not wake up in the middle of the night to noises.” He grumbled. The bed shuffled as he flipped over in his bed to get comfortable.

“Haz, that’s just you snoring.” You teased. He muttered something incoherent and you whispered to Tom, “Let’s wait until he starts snoring and then move his mattress to the lake.”

“Deal.”

Unfortunately for you but luckily for Harrison, you drifted off quickly, listening to the sound of Tom’s heart beating underneath you. You couldn’t help yourself; he made for the best pillow and the best heat source.

The next morning, you woke up with a start, hearing a loud thud from right beside you. Blearily, you leaned over the edge of the twin bed to find the source of the sound; when you saw a groaning, half-asleep Tom on the floor below you, a fit of laughter overcame you. The blankets were falling off the bed, all tangled up in his legs.

“Did you fall off the bed?” Harrison asked, even though all three of you already knew the answer, and you looked up to see him peering over the edge of the bunk bed.

“It’s not funny.” Tom muttered, frowning in faux annoyance at your continued laughter.

You held your hands out to him, offering to help him up even though you were in an impossible position to really help, still laying in the actual bed. Teasingly, you asked, “You got an owie?”

Chuckling, Tom reached up and grabbed your hands, pulling you off the bed. You let out a yelp as you landed on top of him, in a similar position to just last night. Your legs subconsciously fell on either side of his to somewhat straddle him, and you lifted yourself up on the palms of your hands to look down at him properly, a smile etched on your face. The familiar intoxicating pull from last night returned; you almost forgot Harrison was in the room— key word, almost.

“Get up before I come down there and join in.”

And with that, you quickly got off of Tom, and he scrambled to his feet. As Harrison came down the bunk bed ladder, you and Tom put the blankets back onto the bottom bed. You pondered where last night left the two of you, and you weren’t sure how to approach the subject. You were clearly more than friends, but were you more than friends in front of the others?

“What’s for breakfast?” Harrison asked, cutting you off from your thoughts.

Over the course of the next few hours, you tried to somehow be alone with Tom to talk things over. It felt odd how things ended last night— not a bad odd, but odd nonetheless. Between the guys going for yet another run and you all spending time at the lake together, it just seemed like the opportunity would never come.

“God, I can’t believe it took you that long.” Rose teased, a giddy smile on her face as she cut off your recounting of last night. The boys were outside chopping some firewood while you, Rose, and Jane prepared dinner.

Jane winked at you jokingly, “What was it like?”

“What was what like? The kissing?” You asked, and she nodded.

“We want all the details!”

“In all honesty, it was the best kiss of my life.” You admitted, the butterflies you felt last night returning at just the thought.

As the three of you continued to talk, coo, and gossip about the four boys outside, they were hard at work. The late afternoon summer sun was bearing down on them, and they had stripped away their shirts earlier. Tom decided very early on that he didn’t like chopping wood, even if Harrison was somehow worse at it than him. While Tom and Harrison mainly kept to themselves, Will and Tyler had their own conversations going, despite the others clearly within earshot.

“You and Jane— I don’t know how you do it. One girl for all those years?” Will commented, and Tyler laughed with a shrug.

“It’s been so long, I don’t know what I would do without her. Plus, she’s the best fuck I’ve ever had.” Tyler said crassly, making his friend laugh.

“Mine was by far Y/N.” He stated, loudly, as if to ensure that Tom would hear it. At the sound of your name, Tom and Harrison both began to listen in on the conversation.

“It’s been years. Surely, there’s been someone else.”

“Nope.” Will protested, stopping his work to lean on the axe handle, “She was supposed to come over last night, but she must’ve gotten lost.” Tom couldn’t stop himself from scoffing at his words. Hearing the sound, Will turned to face Tom, “Got something to say?”

“Yeah, I do actually.” Tom said, dropping the axe. Holding himself up straighter, he made his way closer to Will. Harrison hesitantly stepped closer to Tom as the brunet continued, “She didn’t get lost, she just had a better option.”

“Better option? You mean you?” He bit back. “Yesterday, you couldn’t even do a simple hike without hurting yourself, and you’re shit at chopping wood. You may think you’re hot shit in London, but this is my turf, movie star. I’m the one who gets the girl here.”

Harrison went to grab Tom’s balled fist, but he was too late as Tom had already swung, nailing the surprised Will right in the nose. Will responded quickly, throwing a punch back at Tom. Tyler and Harrison exchanged questioning looks, silently wondering if they should break up the fight or just let them go at it, but the pair decided the former was probably a better idea.

Aware of sudden commotion outside, you, Rose, and Jane all rushed to the balcony, wondering what could possibly be happening. The fight between Tom and Will was ending as Harrison and Tyler both successfully pulled their respective friends away from the other. Even from the distance, you could see the new bruises on Tom’s face and Will’s bloody nose; it was most likely broken, but you didn’t have it in you to care. The boys were unaware of you and the others, until Harrison looked up at the balcony. He gave you a sad smile, and Tom was next to look up. Ashamed, he didn’t dare to meet your eyes and, instead, grabbed his shirt from a nearby log and trudged his way down to the lake.

Your eyes flickered to Will, and a pit of anger flamed inside you. Just by the look on his face, you didn’t even need to question who was the antagonist. Not bothering to say a word to Rose or Jane, you marched downstairs and out to where Will, Tyler, and Harrison remained.

“What did you say to him?” You questioned Will angrily.

“Nothing he didn’t already know.” He replied nonchalantly.

“That’s bullshit, Will. This is all just bullshit. Every chance you get, you bring up something to antagonize Tom and embarrass me. And, every time you do that, you just remind me that you’re half the man Tom is.”

“You’re acting like I was the one to start the fight. News flash, princess, your man threw the first punch.” Will said, bitterly.

You stepped closer to him, your eyes hardening, and you swore you saw fear flicker in his eyes. “Believe me, if Tom hadn’t broken your nose already, I would break it myself.”

Without another word, you turned on your heel and headed down to the lake. You knew they were all watching you-- Harrison, Tyler, and Will from the ground and Rose and Jane from the balcony. The sun was already starting to line the tops of the trees across the lake, and you felt your anger slowly dissipating as you saw Tom sitting on the dock. With his legs swinging off the edge, he looked at peace, but you knew him better than that; a storm was brewing in his head.

You didn’t say anything, and Tom made no effort to look away from his hands in his lap as you approached. Silently, you sat down right next to him at the end of the dock. Now that you were beside him, you noticed the bruise forming on his eyebrow and the cut on his lip. Will definitely got a few good shots at him, but you could tell Tom had gotten him worse. Your eyes trailed down to his hands; his knuckles were red in agony. Slowly, you reached your hand out to grab his injured one.

“It doesn’t hurt.” Tom mumbled, but you could tell he was holding back the truth. You tenderly placed a kiss on each of his red knuckles before intertwining your fingers.

“Wanna talk about what happened?” You asked him quietly, fearing if you spoke too loud the fragile moment would somehow be ruined.

“He was talking about you like you were just a good fuck and nothing more.” He replied, his voice just as soft as yours.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, your heart fluttering at the thought that he was defending you. You let go of his hand and turned to properly face him. The smile never left your face as you cupped his face in your hands. Confused, Tom asked through a laugh, “What are you doing?”

You kissed his bruised eyebrow before responding, “Well, I’ve got to kiss it better, don’t I?”

“I think you missed a spot then.” Tom pointed to his lips with a cheeky grin. You pressed a chaste kiss to the cut on his lip, before teasingly pulling away. You didn’t get far as Tom’s hand went to the back of your neck, bringing you in for another, deeper kiss. Caught up in the moment, you somehow forgot about his cut; it wasn’t until you nibbled on his bottom lip, accidentally catching the cut, that you remembered and Tom pulled away with a quiet groan.

“I’m sorry.” You said through a laugh, though you were still genuinely concerned about him. Your fingers traced lightly over the agitated cut.

“It’s okay.” He reassured you. One of his hands trailed up your arm to your own hand, and he brought it to his lips, kissing it just as gently as you had kissed his knuckles. “You’re cold.”

“Guess my personal heater isn’t working.” You teased.

“Come here.” Tom beckoned you closer to him. You slid into his side, snuggling into his warm embrace. With his arm hanging around your shoulders, you slipped your fingers through his, smiling at the ease of it all.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” You mumbled, looking at the beauty of the lake and the sunset before you. It was like a scene from a painting, a scene you wanted to memorize forever.

Tom pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling you in closer to him. “We can stay here as long as you’d like, darling.”

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n

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hutchhitched · 4 years

Text

Screw West

Written by: @hutchhitched

Prompt 137: Friends to lovers road trip au! Katniss wants to take a summer off to explore the country, Peeta volunteers to go with her. Bonus points if one of them is an absolutely oblivious idiot. [submitted by anonymous]

Ratings/Warnings: T

A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. Usually, I travel a lot during the summer, but not so much in 2020. Instead, I wrote this story for you. Enjoy!

___________

Peeta Mellark sifted through a stack of notes and sighed in frustration. “None of this makes sense anymore,” he grunted. “I thought the point of planning this was to have a, I don’t know, plan or something.”

Katniss Everdeen, his best friend since their freshman biology class a million years ago, looked at him in amusement and rolled her eyes.

“I thought you were supposed to be the spontaneous one in this friendship, Mellark” she laughed. “I promised you a road trip, but only if you’ll help me figure out some kind of time frame for when we’ll be back. I have lesson plans to write for the fall, you know. Some of us actually have a schedule. I know this was my idea, but you did agree to join me.”

Peeta grinned at her mischievous smile and shrugged. He’d been hopelessly in love with her since forever, and she had no idea how excited he was that she’d agreed to him accompanying her on her trip. The fact that she’d told him she wanted to take the summer to explore the US, and he’d called in every favor he could at his job to make this happen was something he’d never admit. He’d had to lobby his editor pretty hard to convince him that Peeta could write his column remotely and that doing so from different tourist destinations would actually strengthen his following rather than diminish it. Haymitch Abernathy only budged when the newspaper’s owner, Effie Trinket, pressured him to agree. Peeta wasn’t about to question Haymitch’s approval. With orders to keep the costs to a minimum and turn in his stuff on time, his boss had told him to report back after Labor Day.

So, he’d broached the subject with Katniss, hoping she hadn’t been joking when she said she wanted to head out and see all the things she’d never had a chance to in her childhood. He’d been absolutely ecstatic when she’d hugged him hard and thanked him for being her road trip buddy across America. The problem was they had no idea where they were going, no concrete plan, and absolutely no idea how to make a firm decision.

“Maybe we could start on the East Coast and work our way south first,” he suggested, but she shook her head.

“I think I’ve done that. I mean, we both grew up in the Appalachians. Didn’t you see about as much of the eastern seaboard as you’ve ever wanted to? I haven’t been to Florida, but it seems kinda similar to the outer banks in North Carolina and the Low Country in South Carolina and Georgia. I’ve definitely been there.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, but it seems like a waste to head due west when we’ve got the time to ramble a bit.”

“Screw west? What?”

“Due, Katniss. Due west.”

“Ah. That makes more sense.” She nodded thoughtfully, but then made a note. “Maybe we can swing back through the South on the way home later in the summer?”

“Sounds good,” he agreed. “So, we’re going north first?”

“Maybe just west like you said? I don’t know. I want to see what’s on the other side of the mountains. I’ve never been further than Pittsburgh that direction, and that’s just kind of sad.”

“So, we’re going to drive through flyover country.”

“Exactly. Something’s gotta be there, huh?”

“I guess we’ll figure out why everybody calls it that, anyway.”

Katniss flipped through an outdated atlas for a few minutes and finally shoved it to the side. She turned her body toward him, and he looked at her, desperately trying to hide his affection. He felt like a heart eye emoji every time she was in the same room.

“I think we ought to just pack for every situation we can fathom, get in the car tomorrow morning, and start driving. We’ll figure it out then. And we’ll be together, so it can’t be that bad, right?”

“Right,” he breathed, his heart caught in his chest. “I guess I better go home and pack. Pick you up at 8:00 tomorrow?”

She leaned over and gave him a hug that made him want to bury his face in her neck and press kisses there until she moaned his name.

“See you then.”

He left shortly afterward, walking to his car with a pang in his stomach. He was headed out on an unplanned road trip with the love of his life, and she had no idea how he felt. He had only one thought as he started the car and headed home.

“I am so screwed.”

****

Bleary-eyed and anxious, Peeta pulled into the Katniss’ driveway at 7:58 am the next morning and honked lightly on the horn. He knew she was up since she’d texted him three times asking him if he was awake and on the way and, oh, would he stop by their favorite coffee shop and pick up pastries and espresso? If he wasn’t half in love with her (okay, completely in love with her), he would have turned off his phone and gone back to sleep.

Except he wouldn’t. He’d jump out of bed every single day just for a glimpse of her, and that was more truth than he ever wanted to admit when it appeared she had no interest in him outside of their very close friendship.

Heaving a sigh, he climbed from the car and bounded up the steps to her door to knock three times in rapid succession. It opened, and Peeta had to bite the inside of his right cheek not to embarrass her by telling her how gorgeous she looked. Because she did. She was sleep rumpled, but her face was lit up with excitement. So excited she was practically wiggling, she flung herself at him for a massive hug and then motioned him inside.

“Are you taking all that?” he asked when he spied the mound of luggage by the door. Or a pile of random stuff was maybe a better way to describe it. There were a couple of boxes, a cooler, a duffel bag, a backpack, and two grocery bags stuffed full of shoes and what looked like swimming paraphernalia.

She shrugged and walked down the hall to the bathroom. “I packed up some snacks and things I thought we might want, and I have my electronics and some books, and we agreed to pack for any occasion, so I’ve got swimming stuff and a couple of jackets if it gets cold in the mountains, and who knows how hot it’ll get? And hiking boots. I want to do everything, Peeta. Ev-er-y-thing!”

And could he help it if that shot straight to his dick? Because he wanted to try everything, too, except he wanted to try it all with her. Naked and in bed. Kissing and rubbing together and—

“I’m so screwed,” he whispered before grabbing her backpack and cooler and stalking out to the car.

****

Katniss hopped into the passenger’s seat with a wide smile and bounced a few times before fastening her seatbelt. She turned to him, glanced at the backseat to make sure she could access everything they might need in the new few hundred miles, and crowed, “Road trip!”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. It was adorable—she was adorable—and he was suddenly flush with eagerness to spend the next few weeks with her. They hadn’t really decided on how long this would go, just that they would be together and make it up as they went along, but he hoped he had at least three weeks since he had the okay from work to be gone the entire summer. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could stretch it into a month or more. Like Katniss, he hadn’t seen much of the US past the Appalachians, and he was looking forward to discovering what the nation had to offer.

“So, where are we headed?” he asked, his foot on the brake and hand on the gear shift. She laughed and leaned into his shoulder. He gulped and swallowed hard at the feel of her soft skin against his arm.

“I thought maybe we’d head out of town first,” she teased.

He shot her a wry smile and rolled his eyes. “Yes, thank you. Very informative, as always. Which highway?”

She turned fully to face him and tucked her left leg up on the seat. Her eyes sparkled, and she leaned toward him as she wiggled in her seat.

“Where have you always wanted to go?”

“Anywhere with you,” he said softly and then snapped his mouth shut. He hadn’t meant to say it, but she was so adorable. She’d never understood the effect she had on him, but he was powerless to resist her pull. Whatever power she had over him had only grown over time, and he wanted to spend every day of the rest of his life with her. If not that, then he wanted to freeze this very moment in time and live in it forever.

“So kind,” she scoffed, “but I’m serious, Peeta. I’ve never been further west than Pittsburgh, unless Nashville counts. What’s out there, anyway?”

“I have no idea,” he murmured, but that didn’t matter to him. What he wanted was right in the car with him, even if she had no idea how he felt, or how he’d felt about her for the past ten years.

With a shrug, he put the car in reverse, backed out of her driveway, and headed for I-64. After all, it took them due west.

****

Peeta glanced over at the woman sitting in the passenger seat and asked for what felt like the hundredth time, “Okay?”

Katniss nodded, the ghost of a smile twitching on her lips. The windows were partially down, and a breeze blew through the locks of hair that had escaped from her braid. They were somewhere in central Kentucky, and he felt like he’d won the lottery.

Lush forests of deciduous trees graced the sides of steeply sloped mountains that fell to a valley in which the interstate bordered a swiftly flowing river. Wildflowers sprung from cracks in rock along the side of the road, and the air smelled fresh, a little like spring and also a bit similar to a summer barbeque right before a thunderstorm. It was humid and sticky, but the circulation kept them from sweating too much. Besides, they were saving a shit ton of gas by not running the air conditioner.

“Want me to drive?” she asked, and he glanced over at her. Her cheek rested against the headrest as she looked at him, and his stomach dropped to his knees. She was so beautiful.

“At the next stop, sure,” he managed and shifted in his seat. If he left himself, he’d start imagining scenarios that would only get him in trouble—some in which she leaned over and did more with her mouth than talking, and that seemed disrespectful to his friend.

“How much longer do you want to go today? I mean, the whole point of this is to see what’s out there, and we won’t be able to when it gets darker.”

“Is there some place you want to stop? Anything catching your eye?”

“Not really. This is pretty, but we don’t have to stay on the interstates if you don’t want to. They make the trip faster, but that’s not really the point, is it?”

He nodded and watched the signs for a few miles before signaling and exiting. He needed to use the restroom, and he wanted to take a look at the map and figure out where exactly they were in relations to a place he’d gone with his family when he was young. They were in the general vicinity of somewhere that held special memories for him, and he wanted to make some new ones with his best friend.

Once they were back in the car, Katniss in the driver’s seat this time, he handed her the keys and suggested they head south on the highway instead of getting on the entrance ramp. When her eyes sparkled, he knew he’d made the right suggestion. They’d been traveling for over five hours, and they’d done nothing more than watch the scenery pass outside the window. It was time to be part of it.

It took another 45 minutes or so until he saw the sign, and he directed her to the second exit into Daniel Boone National Forest. Back when he was younger and his parents still pretended to like each other, they’d taken a family vacation and stayed at the park for a few days. He and his two brothers had hiked and played happily for hours, and that time was still one of his favorite memories from when his family was together.

“It’s beautiful,” Katniss gasped as she pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car. “We’re going for a hike, right?”

“Yeah, sure. I mean, if you want to. I came here with my family when I was younger, and that trail has a little waterfall at the end, if I remember right.”

They changed quickly into their hiking boots and set off through the woods. It wasn’t a tough hike over slightly sloped and fairly wide space. They met other couples and families, many holding hands, and Peeta yearned to reach for Katniss and walk with her hand folded against his. They got to the waterfall by late afternoon and took the time to sit quietly and listen to the wind in the trees. Visitors popped in and out, but they didn’t mind the intrusions. Eventually, each left, and they had the place to themselves for a little while before another group stumbled into the clearing to see the falling water. Eventually, though, the sun dropped further in the sky, and Peeta suggested they head back to the car, find a place to stay for the night so they could shower, and then grab dinner. The snacks they’d had in the car during the drive just wouldn’t satisfy him after such a long day.

It took a little while, but they finally stumbled upon a small mom and pop hotel in a tiny out of the way town. Peeta offered to get their luggage while Katniss checked them in, so when he followed her to room 415, he wasn’t prepared for what faced him. Katniss worked the key (an actual key, not a keycard) into the lock and opened the door. Her surprised, “oh!” should have been enough for him to figure it out, but he still gaped when he stepped into the room and saw…

There was only one bed.

Flustered, he offered to ask for another room, but Katniss waved him off like it didn’t matter. She reminded him that they’d fallen asleep on the couch together dozens of times since they’d known each other.

“This won’t be any different,” she insisted and grabbed her toiletry bag and some fresh clothes. “I’m going to shower, and then you promised me dinner.”

Peeta watched her retreating back and sank onto the lone bed. Bouncing a little bit on the firm mattress, he looked to the ceiling and whispered, “I’m so screwed.”

****

Dinner was lovely, if Peeta said so himself, and he did. It wasn’t much, really just a local family diner with a menu focused on home cooking and large portions, but it left them both full and satisfied. Better than that, they’d talked a lot. It probably helped that they were facing instead of sitting next to each other in the car. He was grateful for the laughs and intimacy over the meal, but now he sat on the edge of the mattress, his leg shaking as he waited for Katniss to finish in the bathroom.

Because, did he mention? There was only one bed.

The bathroom door opened, and he shot up to standing. Katniss tossed him a distracted smile as she crossed the room. She wore ragged sweats and wrinkled t-shirt he’d seen her in a hundred times, so at least he didn’t have to worry about her wearing some sort of lingerie (not that he would have expected that since they’d always planned to share a hotel room, if not a bed).

“I’ll just…” He trailed off and waved toward the bathroom, and she nodded while scrolling through her phone.

He stared at himself in the mirror and berated the image there for being so awkward. This was Katniss. They’d been friends for forever, and he loved her deeply. This wasn’t that big of a deal. She’d camped out on his couch dozens of times, and they’d woken up together with no problem at all. There was no reason to think this would be any different.

The light was off in the room when he emerged from the bathroom and made his way to his side of the bed. Carefully, he pulled back the covers and climbed in, careful to keep himself on his half. When he was settled on his back, he glanced over at Katniss to see her back to him.

“G’night,” she murmured, and he returned the sentiment before nestling below the covers and falling asleep after several long minutes during which he cursed his overactive imagination.

He slept dreamless until just before waking, when he envisaged driving a car through a red-sanded desert. The car sped down a hill, and he pressed the brake a few times before admitting to himself that they weren’t working. Panicked, he looked to his right to see Katniss with a smile on her face as the wind blew through her hair. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as they charged toward a rock wall.

Bolting upright in bed, he gasped and shook at the vividness of the dream. Katniss still slept next to him, her hair splayed around her head on the pillow and her legs tangled with his. She remained on her side of the bed otherwise. She hadn’t cuddled into him overnight, and he wondered if he should be relieved or disappointed. He decided to allow himself a little of both and quietly untangled himself from her and made his way to the bathroom. The last thing he needed was for Katniss to wake before he could get his anatomy under control.

Once the door was closed behind him, he breathed out for several seconds. His morning wood was uncomfortable, so he spent a few minutes attempting to quell it. Unfortunately, his mind continually flitted to the image of Katniss lying in the bed, her face angelic, and her hair fashioning a halo around her head. After a few minutes, he turned on the shower and stepped inside. Cold water should do the trick.

A few minutes later, he was clean and completely unsatisfied but in control ready for breakfast. Katniss sat on the edge of the bed, bleary-eyed and grumpy. When he greeted her, she grunted and stumbled to the bathroom without a word.

“So, further west today?” he asked when they had checked out and snagged a booth at the local Waffle House. He’d forgotten how good and cheap the breakfasts were there, and he inhaled a stack of pancakes and some ham while she picked at an omelet. He studied her over his coffee and then stole a sip of her orange juice. When she didn’t protest, he nudged her foot with his. “What’s wrong?”

She shook herself and managed a wan smile. “Nothing. Just tired. I didn’t sleep great last night.”

“We don’t have to go as far today. We can take it easy.”

“Sure. That sounds good. I’ll take the first shift.”

She drove silently, while he studied the map, both physical and on his phone. He guided her back to the interstate and then pulled out his laptop and typed a few notes. They helped him organize his thoughts and gave him an excuse to stay quiet.

“What’s there to see in Paducah?” she asked, startling him from his bubble.

He shrugged and typed the city into his phone. He glanced at the map for a few seconds and then offered, “There’s a local brewery. We could check it out. Stay there tonight. Not in the brewery. In Paducah, I mean.”

That turned out to be the perfect plan. They checked into a hotel (two beds this time) and walked several blocks to the brewery where they found a table and ordered. The beer helped them both relax, and it wasn’t long before they were chatting and laughing like normal.

“So, Paducah’s now the furthest west you’ve ever been. Feel any different?”

“Totally. My life is complete.” When he laughed, she continued, “I mean, no. It doesn’t feel much different. What does feel new is this trip at all. I’ve never really done this—strike out on a whim and let the road take me where it wants to. It feels good to let go of all that control. Thanks for giving me the chance to do that.”

“Of course. I’d do anything for you. You know that.”

“Uh, I hate to tell you this, but there’s a woman over there that looks like she really wants to do a few things to you,” Katniss said and pointed her half-empty glass over his shoulder. He glanced behind him and gulped.

“Wow. She’s undressing me with her eyes, isn’t she? That’s bold, since I’m here with you.”

“Yeah, but you’re not really here with me, are you? I can make myself scarce if you want to…” she trailed off suggestively, and he fought to keep his face blank. He didn’t need another reminder that she didn’t see him as anything more than a friend, but here it was. God, it hurt. Every single time she expressed her lack of interest, it broke his heart a little bit more.

“I really don’t.”

“You might not have much of a choice. She’s headed over.”

Panicked, he gulped his beer and beseeched her, “Feel free to be my girlfriend. Save me!”

She snorted just as the woman appeared at their side, and the stranger dismissed Katniss with a disdainful glance before speaking to him. “Hey, there, handsome,” she drawled. “I’m Glimmer. Can I buy you a round?”

“Uh, well, I—”

“Excuse me,” Katniss said and slid off her stool. He watched helplessly as she made her way to the restroom and left him alone with his unwanted guest.

“Now, that we’re alone,” Glimmer purred and ran her hand over his forearm. She settled into the vacated stool and smiled widely. “So, what’s your name, honey?”

If he wasn’t already head over heels in love with his best friend, he might find this woman and her southern accent charming, but that wasn’t the case. He didn’t want this washed out version of a companion. He wanted Katniss. He hemmed and hawed for several minutes, attempting to discourage her without being rude, but she was more insistent than he liked. He caught Katniss’ eye as she stood by the bar ordering a beer and shot her a pointed look. Thankfully, she seemed to get the point. She paid for her two beers and threaded her way back to him.

“I got you another, babe.”

He grabbed the glass and thanked her, but Glimmer still didn’t take the hint. He introduced the two half-heartedly and watched with humor as Katniss studied Glimmer and thanked her for keeping Peeta company while she was gone.

“I think he’d like me to stick around,” Glimmer said pointedly, and Katniss turned to him.

“Is that so?” And then she leaned in to kiss him.

Shocked, Peeta didn’t know what to do at first. The kiss remained chaste for a few seconds, but his mouth opened involuntarily. She didn’t hesitate to sweep in with her tongue. She pressed into him, and he let go of his beer to cup her face as he tangled his lips with hers.

Suddenly, Katniss broke away and grinned at him while he gaped at her. “You’re welcome.”

He blinked a few times and realized Glimmer was gone. Katniss resumed her seat and calmly took a sip of her drink and then suggested some options for the next day. Peeta ducked his head and pretended to listen. Now that he knew how she tasted, he had no idea how he was going to be content remaining friends. After a few minutes, he excused himself so he could regroup in the bathroom. There he faced himself in the mirror and whispered his road trip mantra.

“I am so screwed.”

****

The next day they crossed the Mississippi River and stopped briefly in St. Louis to visit the Gateway Arch and eat, even though the barbeque was different than what they were used to. Both preferred the vinegar base and coleslaw of the Carolinas, but what they had wasn’t bad either. When the waiter asked for feedback, he suggested continuing on I-70 and comparing what they’d had for lunch with that in Kansas City.

“It’s sweeter. Almost caramelizes on the meat. You might like it, and it doesn’t hurt to try different styles if you don’t really have an agenda.”

That was how they ended up in an upscale hotel near downtown Kansas City and eating ribs and burnt ends for the second time that day.

“This is definitely better,” Peeta groaned through a mouthful of pork, and Katniss agreed.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” she mused. “We’re pretty deep into the Midwest, and nothing really looks much different, right? I think we should slow down. We’re halfway across the country, and we’ve been gone three days.”

“I’m okay with that,” he agreed.

“I vote for staying here for a few nights. Relaxing, sight-seeing, swimming, maybe putting together a little more of a plan. Eventually, I want to make it to the west coast. Drive up and down the Pacific Coast Highway, maybe see the redwoods, but there’s about a zillion national parks between here and there. Can we go? Please?”

“Of course, we can. We can visit whatever you want. I told you I’m all in before we started this thing.”

A smile split her face, and she threw her arms around him. “Thank you, Peeta.”

He gathered her to him and held her to his chest for several minutes before she pulled away. He didn’t even bother to say it out loud this time. He simply closed his eyes and internally chided, “I am so screwed.”

****

A week later, Peeta wanted to die. If he’d thought he loved Katniss before, he was irrevocably, head over heels, undyingly in love with her now. Waking up with her day after day, sometimes in the same bed, sometimes just in the same room, was excruciating. She was grumpy and irritable in the morning, but it was absolutely adorable. He loved watching her let loose and enjoy herself more than he’d ever experienced back home in Virginia. They shared more than they ever had and dug up memories he hadn’t even remembered until she punched something loose in the back of his brain. Before long, it seemed like she knew, not just his mind, but his entire soul.

It was so easy with her. He felt like his best self with her, and his writing was flourishing. She talked through lesson plans and ideas about how to arrange her classroom and shared her thoughts about moving into counseling as a better way to help her students. They talked about their families, their current lives and what they imagined for the future, and she told him about her past boyfriends and asked about his girlfriends.

Sometimes, Katniss looked at him while he drove. He often wondered what she was thinking, but he didn’t have the guts to ask. He relished the feel of her skin under his fingertips when she handed him snacks from the vastly depleted stash in the backseat, and he gave himself a bruise pinching himself when she wore one of his t-shirts the day they stopped to do laundry in a small town in eastern Colorado. He drove where she suggested and snapped pictures of her in front of breathtaking scenery and took selfies of them both when she asked. When she shivered in the mountains in Colorado, he shielded her from the wind by holding her against his chest, and he groaned gratefully when she rubbed his tight shoulders at the end of the day. By the time they made it to Wyoming, they’d stopped correcting the hotel clerks who automatically booked them to single rooms. It saved money, and neither of them minded that there was only one bed when they got to their room.

“This may be the most beautiful place I’ve ever been,” Katniss announced when they stopped in the Grand Tetons. They’d agreed to spend a week exploring Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park, and neither of them regretted it. The views were spectacular, and the weather was perfect.

“It’s gorgeous,” he agreed, but he wasn’t looking at the view. He tried to shift his gaze when she turned to look at him, but he was frozen, unable to tear his eyes from hers.

He could tell when she figured it out. Awareness dawned on her face, and he held his breath. Terrified, he shifted back and forth and tried to wave it away, but she stepped toward him and grabbed his wrist.

“Peeta?”

“I’m s-sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean— I, uh— See, I wasn’t—”

She waited quietly when he ground to a halt, but his stomach and heart were both ripped open wide. She didn’t feel the same way. He’d always known that, but now she was going to say it, and he wasn’t prepared.

“Can I try something?” He was too dismayed to answer, so he nodded and held still. “I just want to see.”

A soft breeze ruffled his hair as she stepped toward him and tugged him down by his shirt. His face was an inch from hers, and she studied him carefully before closing the gap and kissing him softly. He breathed through his nose and allowed her to lead, but she pulled away before it deepened. Disappointed, he couldn’t help comparing it to the one back in Paducah in the overcrowded brewery with Glimmer as a witness.

“It’s really beautiful here, but I’d like to be back to the car before sunset. Can we go? Don’t want to get caught in the park by mistake,” she asked, her voice cool and detached.

“Sure,” he agreed. He followed her as she started down the mountain, trailing far enough behind that he could shield his regret. He’d always held out a little bit of a hope that she’d return his feelings someday, but that didn’t seem to be in the cards. She was as unaffected by their kiss as he was destroyed by it.

Making sure she didn’t hear, he hissed, “I’m so screwed,” at least five times through the ache in his chest.

By the time they got to his car, he was barely holding it together. He started the vehicle, backed out of the parking spot, and headed to their hotel. The thought of sleeping next to her that night was almost more than he could bear, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Sighing, he turned up the volume on the radio and concentrated on driving since the steep, winding roads necessitated more attention than usual.

A few miles from their hotel, the radio faded into static, and he reached to change the station before resting his hand on the gear shift between the seats. When they pulled into the hotel lot, and he shifted into park, he was shocked when she covered his hand with hers. Twisting his palm, she tangled her fingers with his and stared at them for long, tense moments.

“Katniss?” he croaked. She didn’t respond at first, but then she squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

“Let’s go in,” she said softly.

He swallowed hard and studied her face. “Are you sure?”

She nodded and unfolded herself from the car. She was already to the door of their room before he could move. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she slipped inside. A second later, the curtains closed and the door cracked open again. Peeta watched as her hand emerged and hooked the Do Not Disturb sign on the handle.

“Oh, God,” he breathed and scrambled from the car. “I am so screwed!”

#everlarkficexchange #springtime edition 2020 #prompt 137

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natur-body · 3 years

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My 4 stages of transition to raw vegan diet – the ultimate beginner’s guide

I was one of these people who fell into a trap of healthy body and lifestyle promises popularized by many raw vegan practitioners on youtube; and even though, I did not have any large health problem at that time except low energy levels, insomnia, some extra weight and addiction to unhealthy food I have decided to give it a try for 6 month.

Although the majority of my diet consists of raw foods up to this day, I still miss the amazing experience of eating fully raw – the lightness, uplifted mood and high energy levels that come with this diet. However the transition period itself has been the hardest thing I have ever implemented in my life both on physical and emotional levels. I would distinguish 4 stages. In order to amplify my sensations I have decided to give them the names. Those are following:

Stage N 1 – Complete mess (The first two weeks).

Complete Mess – this is how I felt when I started raw vegan diet. Everything went wrong especially during the first two weeks. The food I have been eating: fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds have simply not been enough for my body to feel satisfied. I felt that my food had been lacking not that much volume but density and it has been digested as fast as I have been chewing it, therefore my stomach was always empty no matter how much I would eat.

And I have been eating as much as I could: I would start my day with 5-6 oranges (unfortunately, at that time I knew nothing about green smoothie, so it was not in my diet), after 3 hours I would eat 4-5 bananas, after some hours a huge vegetable salad with lots of healthy fats like avocado and extra virgin olive oil, just before going to bed I would eat another huge salad with lots of nuts in it. I have realized that different nuts in raw form were giving me the sense of fullness and satisfaction, so I started introducing them to my salads, made nut deeps and ate them with bell peppers as snacks, I have also been eating a lot of nuts with dried fruits in the form of homemade sweets.

I have been experiencing terrible cravings mainly on high carbohydrate foods, like bread, potatoes, rice and pasta. I did not have any cravings for meat because I have turned vegetarian 6 months prior. Cheese, however has been huge part of longings too. The nights were especially difficult to withstand – I remember waking up and not being able to go to sleep thinking of pizza, pasta, and cheese toasts. The only thing that would calm me down were bananas. The cravings were difficult on emotional level too and if not my husband’s support and different psychological tools I have been using to stay inspired I am sure I would not have made it.

For the first 5 days of transitioning to raw vegan diet my bowel movement has completely stopped. I believe that my body simply did not have sufficient microbiom to digest raw foods, although before switching to fully raw diet I have been adding more fruits and vegetables to my food portions in an attempt to overcome my binge eating behavior.

After 5 days I finally started visiting toilet, but this time more frequently than ever: 4- 5 times a day. But I knew that it was not diarrhea: according to my research, it was the gut trying to detoxify from mucus. For more on this topic please view my blog: “6 amazing health benefits of cleaning your gut”.

I have started experiencing other detox symptoms: pimples on my face and fever like sensations at nights in the form of light shivering, however my body temperature staid normal all the time.

What helped me pass through these first two weeks was great interest in how my body would detoxify during the next time period. I was also blessed by my husband’s support. When you are physically and emotionally unstable, your family member’s assistance and uplifting is crucial. Having my house full of fruits and vegetables and not restricting myself in eating lots of bananas and nuts were also very helpful. The only rule of food combining I have been following at that time is that I was eating fruits only before vegetables in order to avoid gas. For the rest – everything that was raw I considered good for my body. This mindset to me was crucial, as I found impossible to restrict myself both in cooked food and in high sugar content fruits at the same time. Later my body refused itself to eat a lot of fruits, but this has only happened after a while.

Stage N 2 – Big adjustments. (From the beginning of 3rd week till the end of second month).

After two weeks things have changed to a better direction in the following way: I started loving fruits and vegetables and getting the sense of fullness and satisfaction after my meals. I also started watching all the recipes from raw vegan diet practitioners and replicated their dishes. soon, I became an expert in preparing raw salads and it has started bringing me joy. At that time I have still been using salt and I am happy that I have not eliminated it from my diet, because salt was helping to replicate at least some of my old preferred dishes, but I have still been experiencing really bad cravings at nights that I would cope with the help of bananas.

My digestion has also improved and I stopped having bowel movements several times per day. Instead I would have only one early in the morning that would leave me with an amazing sensation of a completely empty gut. This was something I have never experienced before on conventional diet.

My detox symptoms have subsided: I had no more shivering at nights and pimples on my face, and my hair was getting less greasy too. instead of having to wash my head every second day I have started washing it once in 5 days.

My weight has dropped by 20 Lbs (9 kg) already by the end of the first month, and another 6.6 Lbs (3 kg) by the end of second month and finally it has stabilized on 100 Lbs (45 kg), after that my weight has never dropped more. People around me were being afraid that I would get anorexia, however my high energy levels and strength were convincing me that I have been doing everything correctly. For more on this topic please visit my blog: “Why some people heal with fasting, others get anorexia”

But there were some alarming changes too: by the end of second month my hair has started falling out and I my nails became warped – these two phenomena have completely freaked me out, however I have made a research and found out that a lot of people on raw vegan diet have been experiencing same symptoms for a small period of time only. I considered that it was part of the detox and became hopeful that after time my hair and nails would grow back normal.

Stage N 3. – Easiness. (3rd and 4th months)

When the first two months of my transition were over and new, third months began things started to become much easier in many ways:

My cravings have stopped: no more waking up at night wishing for french fries and pizza! Subsequently, my late night banana munches have subsided. Stopping of cravings has been an amazing break through for me, I felt released and in control of my eating behavior.

The most stunning thing that has happened is that my hunger has subsided: I really started enjoying the taste of raw foods and they kept me satisfied more and more, I cut down my portion sizes and kept my salad recipes much simpler. I also started eating less fruits and nuts, but my weight staid stable. My energy levels have increased and sleep has improved.

stage N 4 – Absolute freedom (5th month and 6th month)

During the last two months my efforts finally started to pay back. I began to experience amazing benefits I have never dreamed of before.

My energy levels went higher then ever -I have been hiking in mountains from mornings till late evenings with no sensation of tiredness or hunger – never in my life I have enjoyed such endurance! My sleep has absolutely normalized and my mood and optimism have sky rocketed.

My hunger has completely gone, so much that I was forgetting to have breakfast and surviving with only two meals a day. I had no more cravings for bananas and dates and also cut down consumption of nuts and olive oil. My diet has been naturally transforming to mono: at lunch I would have one type of fruit and in the evening carrots or cauliflower or cabbage or spinach, cucumbers or tomatoes. My calorie intake has gone way down, however my energy levels went higher.

My weight did not change – it stayed the same 100 Lbs (45 kg). I believe that if I have been eating the same way as at the initial stage of transitioning on raw vegan diet my weight would have been higher. however I chose to listen more to my body requirements than any rules of calorie intake.

My hair has stopped falling out and started growing back much stronger and the same happened to my nails.

My bowel movement has become more frequent and by the end of 6th months I have started visiting toilet as many times as I would eat that day to eliminate the previews meal completely – as a result I was feeling empty as a drum. I brig my apology for these details but I can not avoid emphasizing how nicely digestion works with natural food.

The conclusion:

At the conclusion, according to my experience raw vegan diet absolutely breaks any rules of calorie intake and energy formation. The more natural food you eat and the cleaner is your body from metabolic toxins the more energy you possess. I have also learned that I could not judge about benefits of any diet unless I would have been experiencing it for at least for 2 months, because it takes time for body to detoxify and adjust.

#healthyeating

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ogwivia · 5 years

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Youngblood-Youngblood Stories 2

{This is a set of original stories by Olivia Franklin. Each one is inspired by a song off the album Youngblood. I hope you enjoy, and if you have ideas for the other stories please let me know}

Cover Art by: KaLa-Kedavra

Dedicated to Beyza, who has the prettiest light in her eyes, despite the dark in her heart. You are my youngblood.

You are awoken from a very peaceful nap to your phone buzzing on the nightstand. It’s a text message from Ash.

My move beautiful😉 be ready to go in 10. I have a surprise for you.

His move? Ash was so determined to win, you had never had a boy play the game this well. Two thoughts ran through your head. Number one, last time Ashton had a “surprise” for you, you both ended up in jail. Number two, ten minutes was nowhere near long enough to come up with a good excuse to slip past your father. After all, when you are the daughter of a world-famous gang leader, you can't exactly go out whenever you want. You resolved in your kind to tell your father that you were meeting some friends to study, you would just have to pray he bought it. Quickly jumping out of bed, you ran to your closet. Eventually, you decided to put on ripped jeans, a band tee, and a jean jacket. Good thing you fell asleep with makeup still on or you would’ve adorned none. You ran downstairs fully expecting to get an interrogation from your father, but he was so caught up in a meeting he was having that a simple head nod was the only response you got. Stopping for a second, you found this strange, your dad was never that passive. You resolved in your mind that this must be a very important meeting and decided to ask about it later.

Ashton arrived ten minutes later on the dot. He couldn't exactly pick you up at the front door. Instead you began walking down the street until you reached the corner. Climbing into Ash's car, you give him a quick peck on the cheek and settle into your seat.

“Hey, can I ask you a question" Ash asks softly as you drive.

Your heart begins racing faster because you know exactly what he is going to ask. You are quickly running out of excuses to conceal the truth.

“Sure" you respond, your thoughts racing trying to find something, anything to say.

“Are you warm enough in those clothes? Because where we are going is outside?”

You didn’t realize until that moment that you had been holding your breath. As you slowly began to fill your lungs with air again, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. The question was avoided…. For now. You wanted to tell Ash, you really did; but the truth was simply not an option. There is no way someone like him would love and accept you if he knew who you truly were. After all, the very fact that you were the offspring of one of the most well-known gang leaders in the world didn’t exactly have the boys lining up to take you out.

“Yes, am I. If I get cold, I can always take your hoodie" You say with a slight giggle.

All of the sudden your attention turns back to the bigger question at hand. Where in the world was your boyfriend taking you!?!

“Um Baby... just one quick question…where are we going?” You say with a mix of fear, confusion, and love.

If he lands you both in jail again, you will not be able to slip that by your father. The first time you were able to hide it through some miracle of luck, but you had a gut feeling that would not happen a second time. Looking over to the gorgeous boy in the driver seat, you give your best cute face and wait for a response.

“Hmmm…. Oh well since you are giving me the cute face… that changes absolutely nothing. It is a surprise, you will see when we get there.” Laughing at his own joke, his eyes return to the road.

This is not the answer you were expecting. In your world, surprises usually didn’t end well. The last time someone said they had a “surprise” for you, you ended up kidnapped by a rival gang… hopefully this surprise will be better than that. Sighing heavily, you lean back against the seat and resolve to simply try to enjoy the moment.

A couple minutes later, Ash pulls in to a gas station. As he stands outside in cold pumping gas, you let your mind wander back to memories of when you two first began dating.

It was a warm summer day that was pleasant for the most part, except, oh yea, you had spent most of it trying desperately not to be killed by a rival gang. As you sat on a park bench trying to clean your wounds, a boy who could only be described as an angel in the flesh walked up and asked if you were okay. Not exactly the meet-cute you see in rom-coms, but it worked out for you in the end… well, sort of. You see, much like everything else in your life, the game called love was anything but simple. Game, everything in your life was a game; but you were so good at playing them. When Ash asked you out, you tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen.

“hey, what if I want to be something more than your friend” Ash asked catching you off guard.

“Like, best friends” I reply in a snarky tone.

“Come on you know what I mean”

“What do you mean”

“I mean that I love you”

Wow…. I pause for a brief moment before responding.

“Don’t do that to yourself. You do not want to play that game.”

“Honey, not only will I play the game, I will win it”

“Look… loving me comes with a lot of baggage”

“I’m up for a challenge”

Fine… if he wanted to play, you would play.

“Ash…if we are going to do this, you have to make me a promise”

“Of course, anything”

“Love me till the day I die”

“I promise”

Game. Set. Match.

You snap back to reality as Ash reenters the car. That moment is something you thought about constantly, maybe you should have just walked away then. Now you were stuck playing games with a boy who didn’t deserve to be dragged into any of this.

With a smirk on his face, Ash gives you a quick peck on the cheek and resumes your journey to who knows where. You loved this boy so much it hurt, this is why you couldn’t tell him the truth about who you are. It seemed as if he had his suspicions that you were hiding something, but you prayed he wouldn’t ask about it; because you knew if he asked, you would tell him everything. If you told him everything, he would walk out of your life forever.

After what felt like eons of driving, Ashton pulled the car into an empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Next to this parking lot was a mountain with a staircase leading up its.

“Get out of the car, I have a surprise for you at the top of the mountain” Ash says excitedly.

“Baby, I hope you know exactly how much I love you” You reply trying to make your sarcasm apparent. Hiking is most definitely not your thing.

As you begin the trek up this mountain, a sickening thought enters your mind. Every memory you make with him is one more you will have to hopelessly try to forget when he is gone. He said till the day you die, but he would leave… they always do. You just prayed this one would be fast and quick.

After what felt like days, even though it was only like an hour, you and Ash reached the top of the mountain and the sight you saw caused you to stop in your tracks. He had a beautiful picnic laid out with all of your favorite foods and the most gorgeous flowers you had ever seen in your life. You found yourself crying, no one had ever done something like this for you. Hugging you tightly, Ash leads you over to the blanket and you both sit down.

“Do you like it”, he asked with a nervous look on his face.

“Baby… I love it” you respond, soaking it all in.

You could already tell…. When it came time for this goodbye it would be the hardest one yet.

“I brought you up here because I don’t know if you remember, but today marks exactly one year since the day we met in the park and I wanted to give you a gift to commemorate”

Ashton pulled out a gorgeous box and handed it to you gently, with an impatient plea to open it. Lifting the lid softly, the tiny box begins playing a tune you know very well. It is clair de lune, your favorite piece of classical music. Tears stream down your face as you notice a beautiful necklace laying inside the box. It is a small gold chain with a small charm in the shape of an A. Ashton picks it up and walks over so he is positioned behind you. Gently brushing your hair over your shoulder, he puts the necklace on you and returns to his previous seat. You gently brush the necklace, allowing even more tears to escape. He was not making this an easier.

“Baby… I don’t know what to say…. It’s beautiful”

“Beautiful necklace for a beautiful girl”

After sharing a lovely dinner, Ash takes you home and you spend the rest of the night thinking back over all that has just happened. He was so perfect, he didn’t deserve any of this. You could never, under any circumstance, drag him into the nightmare that was your real life. You never thought your relationship would last this long, yet here you were, one year later, still going strong. You had to do something, you couldn’t keep up the façade, normally you had no problem lying to the boys who dared to date you, but this one was different. Your heart shattered as one simple thought entered your mind.

I have to leave… I have to let him go…

Tears streamed down your face harder than they ever had before. You couldn’t just leave him; your heart couldn’t do it… instead you would have to make him leave you. The game was about to take a nasty turn.

The next day, you and Ash went out for ice cream. As you slid in the car, the game was afoot.

“Hello my love”, Ash said with that smile that made you melt.

“Hi Ashton”, you replied, trying to get your focus on the task at hand.

Ashton’s expression immediately sunk. You turned away, desperately trying to ignore the worried boy beside you. This was, by far, the worst game you had ever played.

Over the next few weeks, matters only escalated. You just wanted this to be easy and painless, why couldn’t you just leave? It was a never-ending cycle of conversations ending as if they were the last goodbye, only to be followed by one of you getting too drunk and calling about a hundred times. Why didn’t he leave? Why did he stay? Why couldn’t he just break your heart?

This continued for months. You pushed and you pushed, and he pulled away. He gave and he gave, and you took. You cried yourself to sleep every night praying for it all to just end. Then one day, Ash called and asked you to meet him at the park where you first met. You arrived there to find a boy that looked so broken. Cautiously walking over, you seated yourself next to him, and he began the conversation.

“We need to talk. Lately our conversations end like it’s the last goodbye, then one of us gets too drunk and calls about a hundred times. You used to call me baby, now you’re calling me by name.”

“Ash I-“, you begin, begging the tears to stay inside your eyes.

“Just let me finish… What is going on? What are you not telling me? You made me believe you’re mine, yet you treat me like you aren’t. Why are you keeping things from me?”

“Ashton… It’s not that simple…”

“What… What is not that simple… What is so difficult to say that you can’t even tell your own boyfriend?”

“Ashton, my world is not something you want to be a part of; it’s a crazy mess that will only end in you getting hurt.”

“Try me”

Why couldn’t he just leave… fine… if he wanted the truth… here was the truth

You proceeded to tell Ashton everything about who your father was, all the things you had done as heir apparent for his gang, and why exactly you had blood running down your arm the day you guys met. Next in line was telling him about the game…

“…Ashton, I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn’t drag you in to all the hurt and pain that is my world. When I said loving me comes with a lot of baggage, I meant it. But I couldn’t just leave, my heart couldn’t do it. Instead I resolved that I would just have to make you leave me.”

Finishing your sentence just in time for the tears to begin falling, you braced yourself for the goodbye. Looking up, you met Ashton eyes. They appeared to be filled with a wild mix of hurt, sorrow, and love. Without another word, he got up and left, leaving you alone with a broken, but not surprised heart. You set there for what felt like days; eventually you composed yourself enough to walk home and get to your room before falling apart again.

You didn’t know how to cope with your brokenness, except to distract yourself with the gang. It was bad for you, putting you on the edge of trouble, hurting people who didn’t deserve it; but this is your blood, this is who you are. The next few weeks were filled with a cycle of crying, doing whatever notorious gang activity was on the agenda for the day, and eating… lots of eating.

One day, you were awoken to your panicked father telling you get to get up and get to the car right now. Scrambling to get up, you throw some clothes in a backpack and head out the door. Once you are in the car, your very panicked father speeds away heading Lord knows where. You turn to ask him, but the look on his face says you probably shouldn’t.

As you ride silently, your mind wanders back to the same thoughts that stole your sleep away. The same thoughts that ran you out of tears to the point you were almost positive there were none left to cry. The thoughts of a boy who only ever loved you and you only ever hurt him.

After driving for a bit, your father pulls over, looks you in the eyes, and begins to explain…

“Listen to me very carefully… They are coming for us, we have to hide, the others are waiting for us at a café just down the street. It is old and hardly receives any business so we will hide there until we can find a better location”

“Dad, what about the missions… are we gonna run them out of a rundown café?”

“For now, yes… you will remain at the café and receive a radio… the only reason I want you leaving the café if is they come, or your assistance is needed. If you do leave, make sure to take one of the boys with you and use the code names… I can’t have anyone finding you Y- “

“Dad, you know I hate that name… let’s stay away from it as long as possible.”

No more words are said, and your Dad silently resumes the ride to the café. Why couldn’t you be a normal kid who gotten woken up in the middle of the night to see the stars or something like that? But no… for you it was, “hey get up people are trying to murder you”.

Soon you guys arrive at the café and begin setting up shop. You take a quick glance at your phone to see a message from Ash. Hesitating for a moment, you ponder reading it, but ultimately return your phone to your pocket and resume working.

The next few weeks are spent trying to do anything but think about Ashton. Most days, you simply tooled around the café talking, playing card games, and doing stupid challenges with the other gang members who were confined to quarters. Occasionally, you got to go out on a mission, but not very often. You still wore the necklace Ash gave you every day, finding yourself unable to break the promise of never taking it off.

One day, you were called in for back up on a retrieval mission when one of your fellow gang members was kidnapped. The mission ran smoothly as you guys had done several just like it and had the system down. However, members of the rival gang took special note of your face during this mission, something that would change your life forever.

A couple hours later, you settle down on a sleeping bag in the corner, craving sleep. However, that unread text sitting on your notification kept rest from coming. Eventually, you give up the fight and unlock your phone, pulling up the message app. Taking a deep breath, you click on his name.

I need to see you. We have to talk. Give me a chance to make this right.

Why? Why would he even want to make an effort? He deserved so much more, he could have any girl in the world. Why did he pursue you so relentlessly… especially after what you did…? You found yourself wanting to hear what he had to say, but at the same time knowing you couldn’t go meet him and he could not come there. You sit for a quiet moment while your heart and mind engage in a brutal war with each other. Once the dust settles, the reach a decision and you begin typing you reply.

I just sent my location. Meet me here tomorrow at 10:30pm

You barely have time to close your keyboard before his response pops up…

I will be there

Now… You wait. Laying down, that sleep you craved so desperately finally comes. The next day you woke up with a feeling of excitement you hadn’t felt in a long time. 10:30pm could not come soon enough!

Your dad and a few of the boys leave first thing for a mission. They tell you on their way out that some members of the rival gang have contacted them saying they would like to negotiate a truce. Now, you are happy for two reasons: peace and Ashton.

The time is now 10:25 PM. You are alone in the café when you hear the door open. Rushing out of the back room, you excitedly turn the corner expected to see Ashton’s face… but it was not the one who greeted you.

Members of the rival gang… what were they doing here? They were supposed to be at th-

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Oh no… A set-up…

Panicking you stand frozen, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, you find yourself praying Ashton doesn’t show up. Finally gathering your thoughts, you are able to get a few shaky words out.

“Wh- what are you doing here? You are supposed to be at the peace negotiation”

One of the gang members steps up to answer.

“Peace negotiation… that’s cute… did you really think we would participate in a peace negotiation? That was a ploy so that we could get to you without having to go through dear old dad. Our mission, is to take away the thing your dad holds most dear… you”

Pulling out a gun, he backs you into a corner. Tears stream down your face.

“Please, please don’t do this… we have money, I can give you money, I can-“

“Hey, what is going on here”

Oh no, not that voice… any voice but that voice. The gang member turns around pointing his gun at Ashton.

“No, please. It is me you want, not him… please don’t hurt him” I scream, begging with all I have left in me.

“You like this kid? That’s cute… but he really shouldn’t have shown up here…”

The gang member turns back to you for a split second and in that moment, Ash decides to make a move and try to grab the gun. They wrestle for a second. Then you hear a shot… Ashton falls to the ground clutching his side. The gang members quickly leave, and you stand there in shock for a moment before it sinks in…

You run over to Ashton, clutching him tightly as the tears begin to fall.

“Ashton, no… this isn’t right. It should have been me… It should’ve been me”

“Hey, look at me… look at me. I came to tell you…I love you.” He says, the life slowly leaving his body.

“Ash… no… please. You can’t leave me, you can’t die… you can’t”

“Remember the words you told me, l- love m-me till the d- day I die”

He gives you one last smile, caressing your cheek. Taking one last breath, the little life that is left in his body escapes…

“… Ashton… ASHTON” you scream but receive no response form the lifeless boy in front of you.

“I am so sorry. So, so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You repeat over and over as if it will bring him back.

As you sit there unable to stand due to your shattered heart, you hear a call over the radio.

They know it’s a set-up. They need me for back-up.

The other gang is going to pay for what they did to Ashton. You will not stop until they do. Collecting the broken pieces of my heart off the floor, you stand up wiping the tears you’re your eyes. Giving one last glance to the lifeless body of the boy you loved so dearly, you turn and grab your jacket.

When your dad first pitched the idea of getting jackets that adorned each of your call signs, you were not too keen on the idea. But now, you would wear your call sign loud and proud. As you walk out the door, you throw on your jacket and glance down at the nickname lettered on the front. One simple word.

Youngblood.

#5 seconds of summer #fanfic #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #youngblood

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rememberthattime · 4 years

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Chapter 51. The Move III. Home

What a month. December 2019 started in Sydney, but in just four weeks, took me through New York (Chels was in Hawaii), Dallas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Seattle, and finally London.

Somehow this was our LEAST busy holiday over the past three years, but it flew by nonetheless.

The month began with an international move... obviously challenging, and further complicated by EY’s mobility team. Movers, cleaners, and interested Gumtree buyers cycled through the house, while Chelsay and I balanced enjoying our final days in Manly with UK visa applications.

Eventually our Aussie apartment was empty. Just four massive bags remained - they held our only belongings until our shipment arrives in London sometime in April. Those four bags would be heading in opposite directions for the next 10 days though: Chelsay’s followed her to Hawaii, while mine were heading to New York.

I’m extremely jealous of Chelsay’s trip to the North Shore. Not only did she get to hang with Sumner, Chris, Miles, and Orly, but she enjoyed a few post-Sydney surfs, Island vibes, and beautiful weather.

Meanwhile, I had intense work meetings in New York, which required staying an extra few days for the biggest presentation I’ve given to-date. I was at least able to stroll around Manhattan between meetings, with highlights including Gramercy Park, East Village, Greenwich Village, and snow in Times Square.

Our Christmas Break really began once Chelsay and I finally made it to Dallas, though we were only home for one day before embarking on a family road trip.

Chelsay and I have traveled to around 50 countries, yet there are so many places we haven’t explored in our own backyard, including the Deep South. With plenty of time in the US this December, we decided to take a short road trip through Louisiana and Mississippi with Jeff, Liv, Matt, and Emily.

Some highlights:

A foggy visit to Evergreen Plantation. Although the plantation was a primary filming site for fictional Django Unchained, its slave past was very real. Despite our tour guide’s best efforts to portray a “different narrative”, the slaves’ conditions were pretty clear... “Remember: snakes, gators, mosquitoes, yellow fever.”

Jambalaya, Beignets, and Hurricanes in New Orleans’ French Quarter, paired with our over-the-top Southern accents (“There’s been a muwduh!”)

Strolling Barataria Preserve, a swampy bayou coated in Spanish moss... but with zero bathrooms along the trail. What happened in the bayou stays in the bayou.

Touring antebellum homes in charming Natchez, though the biggest highlight was Jeff trying to understand how their 1980′s occupants got cable.

Friendly and entertaining strangers throughout the entire trip. Zippy the gas station attendant (“Energy drink, for the guy that’s gotta push the car”), our Uber driver Mahogany (“Reroute me”), the Mississippi McDonalds cashier (“Y’all wan’ dat wit pe-can sauce!?”), and a New Orleans man training his pet raccoon.

The road trip was great siblings trip - no doubt one that we’ll laugh about for a long time. But after covering Sydney, New York, Louisiana, and Mississippi in just two weeks, it was time to settle down for a bit.

Luckily we had almost a month to relax: 23 days before our one-way flight to London, split between Dallas and Seattle. I hardly worked and Chelsay was already well into sabbatical-mode, which meant we had zero responsibility while home... It was a return to childhood.

Some highlights:

These aren’t in any order, except for this first one: Matt’s quizzes. It’s become a Kern tradition that Matt puts together ~15 ten question quizzes. They’re all creative categories, with our annual favorite being “Synonym song title & band”. Matt’s past four annual quizzes were all excellent, but this Christmas’ installment, Kern Family Quizzes 5: The Moscow Incident, was by far the most impressive. It included an audio/visual component, and categories ranging from “Name this platinum song being played on recorder” and “Name the two actors’ whose faces I’ve merged into one”. Matt could make millions if he sold these games.

Speaking of games, the Kern’s and Wright’s combined to complete four escape rooms. Perfect 4/4. Grandma Helen calls them “Crazy rooms”, which is absolutely understandable after a T-Rex roared at us for 20 minutes in one of our Seattle escape rooms.

Continuing in the friendly competition category, the Kern’s love bocce... especially bocce with a wrinkle: wild bocc’ (aka free-range bocce). Most bocce is played in a walled rectangular arena. Not for the Kern’s though. We drive to the Trophy Club Park and set up our “course” through trees, along hills, across sidewalks, and between the small children panicking as we hurl 3 lb balls towards them. Like a windmill in putt-putt, these obstacles make the game more challenging, especially the scared children. Plus we all just like getting outside.

One last friendly competition: giant jenga at Jeff & Liv’s new house. Their “starter” home is so big that they have an entire room for giant jenga... and we needed the space. This genuinely could’ve been a Guinness record for longest game. For at least an hour -- every single turn -- we were sure the tower JUST HAD to fall.

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The next four bullets are all cowboy related. Chelsay and I have been together for 10 years, and every time we go to Dallas, she insists on visiting a dude ranch. We’ve never had enough time... until this Christmas. Chelsay finally got her wish when we drove an hour outside Fort Worth to Beaumont Ranch. This day trip could’ve had its own post, but I’ll have to summarize in a few short stories.

First, the main event was a cattle drive on horseback. Our instructor, a true Texan cowgirl, led us into the 800-acre plains in search of rogue longhorns. Chelsay was the first to come across wayward cattle and, despite her metropolitan upbringing, instinctively started yelling in an extremely southern accent: “Go on, git! Heeyah!” Our Texan instructor had to be insulted.

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Second story: Matt is very good at lassoing. I was not. This video pretty much tells the story.

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Last story from our cowboy day. The ranch had its own replica western town, so Chelsay had the idea to make a “duel” video. We talked about the dialogue for under 10 seconds, but the result was pure gold. Oscar worthy (at least better than The Irishman). You might think that we added the music afterwards to sync with our actions... Nope, that was just my mom holding her phone close to Chelsay’s camera. That should at least be up for Best Sound Editing.

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My parents, Chelsay, and I fell into a nightly routine of Dark from Netflix Germany. Phenomenal show, despite watching an English-dubbed version. We finished two seasons in under 10 days.

Obviously we hit all the favorite food spots, led by Feedstore, Mi Cocina, Anamias, Christinas, Costa Vida. We also added a new favorite: HG Supply and their tasty impossible whopper bowl with quinoa and chili.

On the topic of food, I must have eaten 100 cookies while home. We had the traditional Kern Christmas cookie bake-off (A+ humor, but C+ presentation), but Chelsay also picked up a baking addiction. It was 11 pm and we’d all be heading to bed, but Chelsay was still laser focused and meticulously decorating her cookies. Her efforts showed though: A+ flavor, and A+++ presentation.

Next up was our return to Seattle. On Chelsay and I’s first full day, we decided to go on a long hike. We actually didn’t hike much when lived in Seattle, which we now realize was dumb. I definitely took the Northwest’s landscape for granted — every time we visit, I’m blown away by the sky-scraping evergreens, fresh scent, crisp air, and looming mountain ranges that surround the city. Anyway, we’ve been trying to catch up on our hiking whenever we visit, and the closest trail to the Wright’s house is Mt. Si, a semi-challenging 8-mile hike. It’s the medium-well steak of hikes. Danny, Chelsay, and I endured a sweaty couple hours -- just to give you an idea of the hike’s height, the peak was snow-capped, but the views made the steep ascent worthwhile.

On the same ‘missed PNW opportunities’ line: when I lived in Seattle, I ever took advantage of the many nearby mountain villages, especially the Bavarian-themed Leavenworth. Tucked in the Cascade Mountains, you would never believe Leavenworth is just two hours from bustling Pike Place. Gothic-lettered storefronts line the half-timbered town’s main street: Munchen Haus, the Sausage Garten, Ludwig’s, and Starbucks (it’s still America after all). Danny, June, Chelsay, and I enjoyed a quiet walk on Blackbird Island, threw snowballs for target practice, and warmed up with hot cider and big (BIG) game of Uno. We also built up our shaka inventory with our Leavenworth friends Alex & Charlie.

It's also worth mentioning that I went to a Hawks game with Hanan. It was a rivalry game and the stakes couldn't be higher: SEA vs SF. Sunday Night Football. Last game of the 2019 regular season, and the winner took the NFC West. The 49ers went up 16-0, but the Hawks stormed back and had the ball with a chance to win on the last play. Russell Wilson hit Jacob Hollister close to the goal line, but a 49er tackled him quickly. Hollister reached for the goal line as he fell, but came up an inch short of a game-winning touchdown. Even though the Hawks lost, it was still a great time.

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Speaking of great times, we hosted New Year’s Eve at the Wright’s house in Woodinville. What an incredible night. Midnight seems to get later and later every year, but Chelsay and I stayed up until 3 am catching up with Devon & Babs, Martiin @ Michelle, and Austin & Kels. Danny, June, and Chels were such amazing hosts - I kept telling them my friends didn’t deserve their hospitality.

We may have been in the US for five weeks, but it felt like only five days. Although it fly by, these stories and pictures are proof that our time was well spent.

And even though we were boarding a one-way flight to London for the next few years, there’s no question where our true home will always be.

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devandumas · 7 years

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On Top of the World.

Another late blog post to celebrate another anniversary. This past Monday, September 11th marked exactly 3 years that I have been living in Peru. ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. I’ve doing a lot of reflecting lately of just how quickly it’s gone by,and about just how different I feel compared to when I first arrived. There’s just so much to learn as a foreigner moving here to work with the local rural population. It’s become even more obvious to me since I am spending this week with the new group of volunteers who just arrived 3 weeks ago and are taking part in their first “in the field” training and getting a glimpse of what their life will be like for the next two years. It doesn’t matter how old you actually are, when you first get here everyone just seems so young and blissfully ignorant. Which makes me feels both old and wise at the same time. Speaking of old, I almost keep forgetting that we are coming up on my fourth birthday since coming here. The big 2-6 on September 26. And guess what? Just happens to be the day the newbies will be arriving in Huaraz to see their sites for the first time. Thank you Peace Corps for that big ol’ birthday present.

Meanwhile I haven’t been blogging for the past few months, I’ve been running around like a crazy person doing all the preparations in the communities for 12 newbies that will be coming to Ancash. It’s been a bit of a stressful time that has definitely pushed me a little further out of my comfort zone and forced me to step up to the plate. It’s also made me realize that I really love being out in the field and in the communities, bridging that gap between volunteer and counterparts and finding host families that will hopefully have as beautiful of an experience as I did. It’s also a big responsibility knowing that it’s the basis for someone else’s entire service, so I’m hoping things unfold nicely over the next few months.

Despite all the madness, I have gotten to escape to have some fun in the mountains. First - up the the one and only Huayhuash trek- 8 intensely beautiful days crossing back and forth over passes of the Cordillera Huayhuash, which spans over the regions of Ancash, Huanuco, and Lima. For two years I had a great view of the range from of a distance every time I traveled from my site to Huaraz and back. But it sure is something else being right in the middle of it. Before coming to Peru I had never even done an overnight hike, and yet somehow I now find myself enthusiastically hiking up to over 5,000m and camping next to glacial lakes for over a week straight. It definitely helped that I had the perfect group of badass disgusting friends to share the special occasion with (I had deemed ourselves worth of the name “The Garbage Pail Kids” by the end). Even after all the gas, irregular bowel movements, bloody noses and blisters we all made it out alive (although it was a close call for one of our comrades due to an unanticipated case of pneumonia). And just two days later a few of us were back on our feet for the Sierra Andina Mountain Race. I decided to go for the shortest of the series, just 13K, which passed by the famous tourist attraction of Llaganuco. The coolest part though is that Miss Michelle Dzurenda was here to run it with me. Thanks so much for making the trip down! It was so great to see you and share a little bit of my home.

It didn’t take long after we got back for me to decide that I wanted to take advantage of the end of the dry season to do my first mountain summit, which led me and two other badass amigas to climb Nevado Ishinca, a snow-capped mountain that’s considered to be pretty basic for experienced mountaineers. However, as a total newb, getting on a glacier for the first time and walking/climbing up to 5,530 meters (over 18,000 ft) is anything but ordinary. Every few steps we took I found the indescribable views were what kept taking my breath away more than the altitude. There are honestly no adequate words to describe how I felt once we got to the top and sat down to the in the whole panorama except on top of the world. We were literally on a ridge on the top of the Cordillera Blanca with the Huscaran just lingering in the background at what seemed like eye level.

I can definitely say that these past few years have pushed me to my limits and that I know feel the most physically and emotionally “in-shape” I have ever been in my life. All I could think in those moments going up the glacier, thinking about everything that has happened in the course of these three years was- I AM A BEAST. And that’s exactly the feeling I want to finish this chapter of my life on.

As of now my last official day as a Peace Corps volunteer is December 8th. What’s next you ask??

To be continued...

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amaliaonly · 5 years

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BROMO 2018 (Late Post)

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw of the bowlines. Sail away from the sail harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”- Mark Twain.

So my most recent event that happened was my trip back to Indonesia where I decided to travel to the Eastern part of Java for some activities before heading back to my hometown. This trip was not planned months before like how I will usually plan my trips. I think it came about during the midst of September when a friend of mine shared about Bromo. What caught my eye is the beautiful landscapes of the Mountains, Waterfalls and surroundings and maybe I thought to myself why not go for another hike. The last hike I did was three years back which was Mountain Trolltunga in Norway.

I just wanted to share what I learned through this chapter of travelling to East Java.

1. HE is the best of all planners.

So this trip was initially talked about with a friend but plans change and then I started asking around if anybody wanted to tag along and I even decided maybe just go on a solo trip since it was like so last minute. After weeks of asking and planning, I did not have anybody to go with. I didn’t really want to go alone and needed a company and I thought maybe I will just be spending my AL in Singapore and hibernating on my bed. After a week of giving up and conforming to the fact that spending time with my bed is not so bad after all, HE decided that that is not how I will be spending my days off after a year of hard work without a proper break. So he brought two beautiful souls on a fine beautiful night which agrees to tag along with me for this trip. They are meant to be the right group of friends that I am supposed to go with and indeed they are.

2. If you fail to plan you plan to fail.

Planning also does includes your research. Like what is the lined up of activities to fill your itinerary. Where do you plan to stay, where do you plan to go, the transportation that will get you to places and basically just the things you will be doing there.

What I did as part of my research (as I did not want it to be like my Trolltunga trip haha) was to read up on blogposts on how people prep their hikes, watching videos on Youtube and also asking those friends who have already went to Bromo and Ijen. This was useful as you will know the kind of gears, clothing’s and even shoes to bring. Bromo was not that bad as all you need are good proper shoes and layers of clothing but for Ijen you need a gas mask if you are going all the way down to the Crater, you’ll need torchlights and for some even hiking sticks.

Planning is also important as you want to schedule your activities in a way that it won’t be too rushing for you to proceed to the next thing on your list. One of the things that we are not able to do was we missed out on the Madakaripura Waterfall as firstly it was raining heavily and then we did not have time and we were caught up in a traffic jam on our way to Banyuwangi. Other than that I had to keep on looking for the right train schedule so that when we end our hiking activities it will be just nice for us to make it for the train and to your next destination.

Knowing me I like things planned out well rather than going with the flow. So I had an itinerary made for this trip and even packing list for my girls to follow.

So proper planning and research is a crucial part of travelling. Unless you are a risk taker and an adventurous person who don’t need a plan and just want to explore the go for it. It might work for you too.

3. Life’s a climb.

For Mountain Bromo we had to take the jeep at 3 in the morning to go up to the area to catch the best sunrise. Just like the Miley Cyrus lyrics – “Life’s a climb but the view is great”. Yup the climbing up the hill to reach the spot took us less than 30 minutes up but it was manageable. We waited for like an hour for the sunrise. The view is amazing MashaAllah. Even though we had to endure the cold weather and we did not want to go hangout at the shops as we got a really good spot right at the front.

There were lots of small hills and mountain around the Bromo Park itself so we get around by Jeep, made some stops and took lots of nice pictures. While we get around we had a chat with our jeep driver. I think talking to the locals or talking to people in general while you travel can broaden your minds to new things and perspectives. That is if you create meaningful conversations. I did have two great conversations with our Jeep Driver and our Guide.

For Mountain Ijen we get around by walking. We started from the base at 2 am in the morning. The hike for this mountain was tiring. There were lots of steep slopes that we had to hike up. Plus the weather was not helpful as it was super cold about 7 degrees and also it was very dark that you have to go bring torchlight if you are going for this mountain. Quoting from Barry Finlay – “ Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.”. You have to put your mind to it, take small steps, keep climbing and don’t give up. On the way up there were different pit stops for trolley workers to take up those hikers who could not take it anymore or those hikers who got injured along the way. I almost wanted to take it but thanks to my two friends who patiently waited for me and giving me the support. I think for Ijen you need to at least train and have a good stamina. For me I did not even train and my stamina was pretty bad. Alhamdullillah after almost 2 hours of hiking we made it to top and the view is definitely amazing too.

We had to wait about an hour for the sunrise and we did not manage to catch the blue fires as it was a wet season. So the blue fire was not visible.

4. It opens up your mind and opens up opportunities for new experience.

Going to new places, seeing new things does open up to new experiences. For example on my trip to Ijen. I realise that the locals there depend heavily on labour work. Their own hard earn blood, sweat, tears and energy was needed in earning a decent income. It opens up my mind to be grateful for the things I had back in Singapore and to be bless with a job that allows me to work under good proper working environment. While the locals there, especially the miners had to carry loads that is more than their body weight up and down the hill.

Travelling does really open up your mind on how others think, how you think and the way you see things. This is all about perspectives.

5. Independent

I’ve been travelling alone for almost 15 years now. The first time I was unleashed free on my own (haha sounds like I’m a dog) was at the age of 11 years old but that was to visit my grandma and I spent a month there without my parents. Yes I count that as solo travelling because I did not have anyone with me throughout the plane journey haha.

So all these years of travelling have thought me to be an independent person. You have nobody other than yourself to rely on. You are responsible for the decisions you made like the places you visit, when you are getting lost and how do you counter it (this happens a gazillion times when I was in Norway and Washington). If there was a problem that come up how do I encounter it? Did I tell you that I was pickpocketed when I was in London, this happens in 2014. I lost my wallet without me realising and I knew I was being pickpocket as my back pack was unzipped. The first decision I did was to tear up hahahaahah I was 21years old back then, after that I called my brother for help. Luckily he was just a couple of buildings away and I had spare cash in my pocket to get back to our Airbnb :’). So all these things you have to be wary of when you are travelling alone as you don’t have anybody you can rely on. This taught me to be careful of what I am bringing and my surroundings. At the end of the day you have only yourself to think off.

Thanks for reading dear people. I hope this posts will encourage you to go out there, travel and learn new experiences. Don’t have the money? Save up and go on budget trips! InshaAllah He will open your opportunities to travelling also if you have the will, courage and dua of course!

Photos of my Bromo trip will be posted in a separate post.

Till then.

All my love,

Fitri Amalia

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iamnotthedog · 6 years

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ST. LOUIS TO YOSEMITE: MAY 2000

By the time May rolled around, I was ready to leave St. Louis no matter what. Even with my job at the Natural Fact Deli, it had been impossible for me to save any money—I was simply bad with money. I tried to keep an envelope under my mattress, a pitiful little white envelope, in which I would put a few dollars from each paycheck every couple weeks or so, but then I would run out of weed and end up taking out the money to buy more, or I’d get the urge to go spend a night at Riddles, or Phil and I would want to go to a party somewhere or something (a party where I’d end up sitting in the corner wondering why I was there), and I’d take out the money to give to anyone over the age of 21 who could buy us booze.

But money or no money, I was ready to go—ready to put whatever money I had into the gas tank of the Olds and drive west.1 Leah and Phil knew I was ready to go. John and Marc knew, as well. I had told them all—each and every once of them—that I was going to go west and find myself a job, and that I’d come back in the fall and let them all know how it was, and if it was as good as I figured it would be, I’d bring ‘em all back with me the following summer.

That was the plan. But late one night, when we were in our dorm room standing under the strands of Christmas lights, and I was smoking weed with Phil and Leah and listening to records, and Leah was lounging in the corner braiding her curly brown locks, and she was in a really good mood for once, and everything was laced with the excitement that comes with the end of something and the beginning of something totally different—at least in my head—Phil surprised the hell out of me by standing up and grabbing me by my shoulders and saying, “I want to drive you to California.”

I puffed on the bowl and handed it to Leah. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m driving back to Salinas in a couple weeks, anyway. You only have a hundred bucks to your name, if that. Put the hundred bucks in your wallet and hold onto it. We’ll drive up to Morrison, drop the Olds off at your parents’ house, and then I’ll drive you all the way out to wherever you’re going. Where the fuck are you going, anyway?”

“I’m thinking Yosemite National Park.” I said. “I found an application online. I’ll go work in the mountains for a few months and lose my mind.”

“You’ve already lost your mind.” Phil said. He looked at Leah, lounging on the bed. She nodded her head. Then he looked back at me. “I’m driving you.”

“Well, shit!” I yelled. “Let’s go!” I flopped on the bed next to Leah. “You want to come?”

Leah finished sucking on the roach and tossed it in the ashtray on our little fridge. “Are you serious?” she asked.

“Come with me! It’ll be a blast. The application process is super easy. And we stay in these canvas tent cabin things that sleep two, so we can room together.”

“I don’t know.”

“It’ll be good for you! There’s nothing that’ll cure depression like a romp in the woods! A wrestle with a bear! A run from an avalanche! An empty alpine meadow at midnight!”

Phil laughed. Leah just shook her head. But I had her. The next morning, I filled out my application in our dorm room while Phil snored, then I got dressed and walked through the narrow carpeted fluorescent-lit dorm hall, then outside, across the sun-drenched lawn being traversed by students on their way to class, and over to Leah’s apartment building, where I found her sitting in her dark, lamp-lit studio—shades drawn—filling out an application.

“You know they give you a drug test when you get there, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, I saw that. But they only give you one. We can just get some pills or something. There are ways to get around it.”

Leah laughed. “Or we can just stop smoking weed for a couple weeks...”

“Nonsense!” I pulled her out of her chair and threw her on the bed. “This is going to be SO FUN.” And we wrestled around and made out until Lilith showed up with her backpack and her arms full of books and told us to knock it off.

“Some of us still go to class,” she said.

Two weeks later, Leah and I were in the Olds with Phil’s BMW in the rearview mirror, and we were leaving St. Louis behind us, rolling north through Illinois and leaving my Olds in my parents’ driveway in Morrison—a flurry of hugs and kisses and “Be careful out there!” for Mom, while Don looked at Phil skeptically, etcetera, etcetera—then the three of us were in the BMW heading west on I-80, then I-70, then I-15 through Las Vegas towards the Golden State and the Sierra Nevada. And Leah and Phil and I had heard stories about Yosemite, and we had read about it and looked at some pictures online and all that, but none of us were quite prepared for what we would see when we rolled into that park for the first time.

“You two are going to have so much fun,” Phil said, rolling down all the windows and craning his neck to look up at the towering pines, the granite domes and waterfalls. I banged on the dashboard and howled. Leah sat wide-eyed in the back seat, smiling but also looking scared out of her wits.

A week after entering the park, Leah and I were all settled in. We had moved into a tent cabin in Boystown, right next to the small dirt basketball court and the drab little cinderblock-walled employee kitchen, and we both got jobs housekeeping for the tourists staying in Curry Village. The majority of the other employees were kids, just like us, spending their summer out there rambling around in the wilderness. The employees who were back for their second or third or fourth seasons in the park—(and some lifers, as well)—all took us under their wings, showing us what hikes to check out first, where the best places were to camp, where to go to avoid tourists, and how to avoid getting our food stolen by the wildlife.2 I jumped into the park life with all the energy I had—something about that air and the smells and the wildlife and the elevation had me ready to go non-stop, and soon I was basically dragging Leah all over the goddamned place with me, whether she wanted to go or not. And when we weren’t out on the trails looking for hidden waterfalls or swimming holes or traversing frightening precipices, we were in Boystown drinking liquor and cheap beer, smoking weed, and launching into rambling conversations with all the new strangers we were meeting—young men and women from all corners of the country.

One of those strangers ended up being a dear friend—at least for that summer. I’m actually not sure what the hell he’s doing now. His name was King—King James Lawton—and he was from big ol’ snowy Wisconsin. He would end up becoming the Neal Cassady of the Kerouacian fantasy that was already beginning to play out so perfectly in my head at that point. For those magical four months in the year 2000, he was my brother of the road—my mystical chauffeur of the great golden west. And he got along with Leah—he actually found a connection with her through their shared clinical depression and their bottles and bottles of antidepressant pills that never quite worked. They both smoked weed constantly and tried to just keep going to stay above water, and I tried to keep them both moving and smiling, and as a result I had not one but two deeply depressed, shining diamonds on my arms for the entire summer.

The day I met King, he was sitting on a stump outside his cabin, next to the powder blue 1964 Volkswagen Type 2 split-window microbus that I would end up living in for the majority of the next four months. He had his head in his hands and was looking really troubled about something, and he was watching a really rough looking pock-marked old man in gray sweats, a brown flannel, and a floppy red stocking cap sweep out their cabin, pushing flaky white dust out into the brown dirt with a broom.

I had seen King working around Curry Village, so I approached with a wave. “What’s going on there, guy?”

“Hey man,” he muttered. He looked up at me and flashed the big, round-faced smile I would come to love over the course of the summer—the smile that is still firmly implanted in my memory today. “I’m just sittin’ here watching my fuckin’ roommate sweep his skin out of our cabin.”

“His SKIN?!”

King stood. He was wearing red Yosemite Lifeguard shorts and a white t-shirt. He was a few inches shorter than me, but was big—well built, with broad shoulders, thick arms, and muscular legs. Swimmer’s legs. “It’s really depressing, actually,” he said. “Dude is like 50 years old, but he looks like he’s 80. He wakes up every day and drinks a half a fifth and a six-pack of beer before he goes to work, and after work he drinks until he falls asleep. And now I just saw him change his clothes for the first time and I found out that his skin is falling off.”

“Fuck, man.”

“Yeah. Fuck.”

King stretched and slipped his feet into his sandals. I watched the old guy sweep, and noticed him ducking back into the dark corner of the cabin to take a drink out of a bottle of Jack Daniels between pushes of a broom. Then I looked beyond him, beyond the cabin, out past the Curry Village parking lot, to the wide-open meadow with the Royal Arches towering above. Birds chirped at each other in the trees. A deer bounded through the grass. It was all a perfectly cliché pastoral scene, save for the clouds of dead skin flakes floating out of that cabin.

“What’s your name?” King said. I turned back to him, and he was offering me a meaty hand, which I took.

“Dan.”

“You want to go for a quick drive over to Mirror Lake to look for bears or something? I saw two over there a couple days ago.”

I smiled. “Sure.”

“You smoke weed right?”

“Of course.”

“Ever ride in a 1964 VW bus before?”

“I have not.”

“Well, shit. Let’s go!”

In 2000, the average cost of gasoline nationwide was around $1.50 a gallon, so a hundred bucks would fill up the gas tank of the Olds a good four or five times—enough gas to get to the Pacific. And I suppose I could say something here about rising gas prices and war for oil and all that, but really, when you take into account the falling value of the dollar and you adjust for inflation, gas isn’t any more expensive now than it was in 1981 (or in 1918, for that matter). The cost of gas IS steadily rising—that can’t be denied—but the key to knowing if we’re all completely fucked or not will be seeing if at some point in the next ten years it swings back down into the $1.50 to $2 range (like it did from 1986 to 2004) or if it just keeps increasing forever due to a worldwide lack of oil and a stubborn unwillingness by the automobile industry (and the government) to commit to producing 100% electrical and/or solar-powered automobiles within a reasonable time frame (it should have already been done, anyway, but that is another story). Does that make any sense? I mean, things are getting better in some respects, but not NEARLY quick enough. And I’m not saying that gas costs don’t matter; I’m saying that it’s stupid to even talk about them when we should be talking about getting off gas altogether. Doing so is like talking about what medicine to use in what doses, when the cure for the disease is obvious. ↩︎

It absolutely boggles the mind that no matter how many “Store your food properly!” flyers and pamphlets and brochures both the National Park Service and the Yosemite Concession Service employees hand out to tourists—they get them when they enter the park, when they register for a campsite or a cabin, when they sign up for a backpacking permit, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera—people still manage to disregard them. They leave food in their cars and tents and open in their backpacks, the majority of which eventually get stolen or destroyed by black bears who are only after the food inside. The fact is that if you leave any food in a place where a black bear can smell it and get to it without too much trouble, that food is going to be gotten. That first summer in the park, when the bear problem in the valley was really bad, some of the employees staying in Boystown developed a late-night ritual of actually go out to the Curry Village parking lot at night just to watch the bears rip apart people’s cars. I myself once saw a small black bear—no bigger than five feet tall on its hind legs—rip the sliding side door off a minivan, crawl around inside the thing for a bit, and then emerge with a can of Coca-Cola in its teeth. And walking stoned with James to a vending machine by the Curry Village public showers one night to get some chips and candy, we ran into a big mama black bear and her cub, and the mama was tipping the vending machine and dropping it while the baby gathered the candy falling from the bottom. They are smart creatures, black bears. And their sense of smell is uncanny. ↩︎

#stlouis #weed #christmaslights #california #yosemite #nealcassady #jackkerouac #volkswagenbus #alcoholism #blackbears

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robertkstone · 6 years

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Celebrity Drive: Baseball Hall of Famer Jim Thome of ‘MLB Tonight’

Quick Stats: Jim Thome, Hall of famer/analyst, “MLB Tonight” Daily Driver: 2015 Ford F-350 Super Duty (Jim’s rating: 10 on a scale of 1 to 10) Other cars: see below Favorite road trip: Illinois country roads Car he learned to drive in: 1967 Chevy pickup First car bought: 1989 Chevy Z71 pickup

When it comes to a daily driver he can count on, outdoorsman, five-time All-Star, MLB analyst and baseball hall of famer Jim “Gentleman Jim” Thome is an American car guy all the way—with his diesel-powered 2015 Ford F-350 Super Duty diesel.

“I love Ford. Being a bigger guy and having brothers and buddies, baseball guys that are all bigger guys, it’s great. The room in it is amazing,” Thome says. “The ride, that diesel is just incredible. In the summer, when we go to all my son’s youth baseball, I just throw all the gear in the back go.”

Thome gives it a 10 on a scale of 10, calling it the perfect ride for his weekend home. “When I go to my lodge and I go fishing, I’ll do my hiking and biking and all that great stuff, I just throw everything back there and just go. I love it,” he says. “It rides great on the highway. When I’m in the city, it’s so long, I need to be careful when I do take it into Chicago. Hopefully my next purchase will be the Ford Raptor, so I’m looking forward to that.”

Photo courtesy of Jim Thome

One of the Ford’s drawbacks means the vehicle requires just a bit more attention. “The only thing I would say I dislike most about my truck is that it’s black and I’ve got to wash it constantly,” he says, with a laugh. “But when it’s clean, it’s the best, it looks incredible. With the snow, it seems like I’m taking it twice a week to get it washed. But as far as the truck goes, no issues at all.”

Thome says he’s been loyal to Ford F-Series trucks, for the most part. “I did have a GMC—that Denali, I had that maybe nine years ago and loved it, but I just love the way the Ford rides,” he says. “They’ve upgraded it, the dashboard is upgraded, the headlights are new compared to the old model. Ford does a nice job at keeping the little things that the buyers want, they pay attention to. Those fine details are great.”

He relies on the Ford to support his outdoor lifestyle, whether he’s hunting, fishing, or mountain biking. “My wife has a Denali and she actually has a Jeep as well,” Thome says. “We’re SUV people; we like to load the car up with kids and equipment and go.”

Thome also has a 2016 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon, noting that he always wanted to own a Jeep. “I bought it for the summer time to tool around and put my mountain bike on the back and go.”

Photo courtesy of Jim Thome

Thome gives the Jeep an 8 out of 10. “It’s obviously got bigger tires, it’s not as smooth of a ride as my Ford,” he says. “I think Jeeps are made to tool around and be in the outdoors and take off-roading, which I don’t really do, but for what I do, it’s an incredible, incredible machine.”

It’s hard not to compare it to the Ford, though. “For me, I like my F-350 because it’s so smooth on the highway. It’s a big Cadillac, it drives like a car. The Jeep is a little more bouncy, but when it’s May, June, and July in Chicago and I take the top off, it’s a little bit [better than] my truck. Just going and getting coffee two miles away, locally here, I love my Jeep.”

Car he learned to drive in

Thome grew up in Peoria, Illinois, where he learned to drive in his dad’s 1967 Chevy shortbed pickup truck. “It was yellow, orange, it looked like at one point somebody used it as a paint truck,” he says, with a laugh. “I just remember it had different colors on it, so when he came, I was like, ‘There’s dad again, in the bright orange and yellow truck.’”

The only thing Thome remembers from those driving lessons were “safety first,” he says. His parents then bought a late 1970s or early 1980s Pontiac Phoenix for Thome as his high school car.

Thome has lots memories in the Phoenix from those school days. “Going to football games and going to basketball practice and always saving up and trying to have enough gas money to make it through the week,” he recalls. “Growing up in Peoria, every Friday night we would go to McDonald’s there in Bartonville.”

Of course, there are always a few little things one must deal with when it comes to having an inexpensive first car. “One time the door handle may have snapped, so I had to go in through the other side,” he says. “I think your first car is always the car that you appreciate.”

First car bought

Thome got rid of the Phoenix when he turned pro in 1989, getting a new Chevy Z71 pickup truck. “I just loved it. It fit my price scale of what I could get, it was great. I had that two years and then I ended up getting a 300ZX. The Nissan 300ZX was a stick shift.”

A 1991 Nissan 300ZX is shown above – learn more about the 1990-1996 300ZX here.

Thome was already with the Cleveland Indians when he got the 300ZX. “I just loved driving it, and I think when we’re all young we tend to go toward the sports cars,” he says.

Being in the major leagues meant Thome was on the road a lot and wasn’t driving his new sports car. “In the winter time it stayed home and then … my dad would drive it out to Cleveland,” he says. “Dad probably drove it a little bit which was cool. I think he enjoyed it as much as I did it, to be honest.”

Favorite road trip

Thome’s favorite road trip is the one from Chicago to his lodge. “As I’ve gotten older, there’s so many places that I’ve gotten to [see], like around Tennessee, Charlotte’s got some beautiful areas, Colorado, some of the views traveling through Colorado are gorgeous,” he says. “In the summer you see the corn fields and the Midwest where I grew up, around Peoria, so I love it coming through there.”

Photo: MLB Network

The drive is as much about what the destination means to Thome as the scenery it provides. “It gives me time for all the craziness in my life and traveling and the baseball life,” he says. “Where I go to my retreat, whether it’s with my family or me alone for me, I love that drive because I know what’s at the end when I get there. As we all age you start seeing things differently and this is something that I love. I love the drive. Just being outdoors mainly and family gatherings, having buddies over, I love it. It’s just a getaway place to go hang for however long you want and then come back.”

Thome also enjoys the country roads around the state. “Those two lane back country roads, coming down 55 through Peoria and then the back roads,” he says.

MLB Network’s “MLB Tonight”

Photo: MLB Network

Thome was elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame on his first ballot in January and will be formally inducted on July 29 in Cooperstown.

On the Emmy-award winning “MLB Tonight,” Thome gets to work with former teammates including Sean Casey.

After doing this for a year, Thome says he now has a lot of respect for analysts. “The thing I love about it the most is teaching the viewers some of the great things you’ve been blessed to learn over your career. If you can pass along information to a dad to his son or daughter, that’s what it’s all about,” he says. “It’s a lot of information that you want to give and report and give honestly and pay attention to what’s happening in baseball, and follow up on it and share your knowledge of what you learned for years and years and pass that along.”