#so i would like to think that as a reasonably intelligent 25 year old i can figure out how i want to look

[girlscience]

Okay, obviously I have some body image issues. This is very clear to pretty much everyone who knows me. I have had them since I hit about 10 years old I think? That gives me 15 years of disliking the way I look, for one reason or another. I have tried a lot of things throughout that time to change my perception of myself. And currently, I feel like I am stuck in a weird place that I can't figure out how to escape.

I understand that there are studies now showing that dieting and working out don't actually work long term for most people. I know that getting into that mostly causes things like yo-yo dieting and circular weight gain/loss. I know that being fat is being shown to not actually be unhealthy in the ways it has often been shown as and perceived to be. I know that literally all the media everywhere is blasting me with idealized bodies that pretty much do not exist or only exist through extremely unsustainable/unhealthy means.

I have tried for so long to believe in and promote body neutrality or positivity for myself and other people. I constantly refuse to let myself think about what I see in the mirror or in pictures. I tell myself to get exercise for the physical and mental health benefits, not for my physical appearance. I try to view my body for what it can do and not how it looks. I tell myself to live the life I want to live now, rather than waiting to live it till I have the body I imagine living that life. Without exaggeration, I am fairly certain I think about these things every single day.

And none of it is working.

I actually feel I dislike my appearance now more than I did even a year ago. I feel like I am constantly noticing things about my body that I never did before or new changes to my body, and I am deeply uncomfortable with them. And I want to do something about it, and clearly simply changing my mentality isn't doing anything. I want to diet and exercise. But I also know it likely won't be a permanent change. I am concerned that I would give myself an eating disorder. And I'm also concerned that I would be feeding into diet/exercise culture. I am worried about hurting the people around me who are also fat. I am anxious about the fact that I am not actually that large so I don't want to talk about it with other people because I know it will make people who are larger than I am feel terrible. I don't want to make other people who are gaining weight feel bad for that. But, I hate the way I look.

This is not sustainable. At some point something will break and I think it might end up being my brain. I am worried about how that would end up. The things I do for my brain and my body shouldn't be about how it might affect other people, it should be for me. But I don't want to be bad for the things I do. I want and have wanted for so long to look like a powerbuilder/warrior/dwarf/strongman lifter/crossfit athlete/etc. I want to be big. I want to be visibly strong and powerful. And I am absolutely not. And I know I struggle with commitment and discipline and all of that, but I also know I struggle a lot with how this desire appears to other people.

Really, I think what this is all coming down to is other people's opinions. I dislike the way I look and am told that's bad. I want to change the way I look and I'm told that's bad. I do nothing and get told that's bad. I have to want these things for the right reason, in the right way, and have to talk about it right all the time. And I just can't. I don't like the way I look and I wish I looked like a brick shithouse and everyone else can fucking suck it.

#please if you know me irl don't read this and then tell me nice things about the way i look #i appreciate that you want to make me feel better but that's not what i'm looking for with this #i am mostly just trying to work out how i feel and what i want to do about it #and what my exact thoughts are about all of it #for example until writing that out i didn't even realize a big part of the circles i'm running in #are entirely about what other people think or how other people might perceive my actions #i am not telling other people to work out #i am not forcing people to go the gym with me #i actively don't want to make other people feel bad or do anything to disparage the choices they make #about their bodies #i do not want to starve myself #i don't want extreme 6 pack abs like people get from being dehydrated for movies #the things i want aren't unhealthy or unachievable (i don't think anyway) #i don't want them just because society thinks being fat is bad #it has a lot more with wanting to be strong and have muscles and not feel soft #than it does the number on the scale or any stretch marks or what size pants i wear #sure i watch superhero movies and wish i looked like them. but i am also aware i'm not fucking male #and my hip bones won't ever be that shape no matter how much i work out #so i would like to think that as a reasonably intelligent 25 year old i can figure out how i want to look #and not have it entirely be just because society told me to look like that #and that wanting these things doesn't make me some evil brainwashed asshole #i don't know that all of this is making sense anymore or actually making point i am trying to make. i'm tired #anyway. to wrap up. fuck other people. i don't have to listen to shit #and if i want to do push-ups and eat lots of protein and get hugeass biceps you can't stop me #and i'm not evil for not wanting my belly button to look like a circle and not a squished frown

[tarotphlow]

Astro Observations 8

���Saturn in the 3H natives tend to have difficulties with phones or cars, whether that be always having a broken phone, or their car literally just not wanting to work for whatever reason

🌻Looking at what sign is located on your 12H could give you insight on to what life was like while you were in the womb. Ex: my 12H is in sag, before I was born my mother would pray constantly for her to have another chance at being a mother, she ended up having a kid with a man from a completely different state. (♐️ rules travel and religion).

🌻Have a big secret you need to get off your chest? Tell a Scorpio Mercury, they will never tell a single soul. I’m friends with a lot of Scorpio Merc’s and it’s amazing how well they can hold they’re water. (Hm, on second thought this might just be for scorp placements in general 🧐)

🌻7H placements how do you do it? Being so desirable to the point that people say they want to marry you without knowing anything about you at all? I just know y’all just smile 😀politely with so many confusing thoughts in y’all’s heads 😭

🌻I’ve noticed cap Venus will always gravitate to dating someone out of their age range.

🌻unlikely duo that actually goes super well with each other is Gemini and Scorpio. I think this has to do with how intelligent both of them are, this combo reminds me of detectives in a way.

🌻with NN going into Aries soon, Libra placements are gonna see a lot of stuff they buried in the distant past come back(like past life stuff 🕰️), probably gonna be a time of relearning some of those old old lessons or just seeing how well you developed since your last life!

🌻Moon in the 3H with a harmonious aspect with Uranus= extremely talented at vidya games 🎮

🌻If you have Gemini in the 6H you should try your hand at an online job, not as a profession but just as a job.

🌻Neptune aspecting your sun could indicate having trouble figuring out what you want to do in life.

🌻Uranus aspecting midheaven seems like you could be either really popular, really really weird or something of the two, but hey at least your smart😭😭

🌻Taurus Is definitely a foodie we know that, but surprisingly Capricorn is also kinda a glutton too lol, I have know idea why but I’ve noticed a lot of caps in my life really live for a good meal lots of savory things and also really really big on desserts as well. They also have sensitive noses, I mean scent is responsible for 80% of our taste so I guess that makes sense.

🌻our brains stop developing at age 25 and become a fully fledged functioning adult with no more growth which is really interesting because the profection year for age 25 is in Taurus which is the sign of stability.

🌻I really feel for Saturn dominants, they really just get the hardest trials out of everyone and expected to just be okay with that, Yk a lot of people say Saturn is gonna reward them and blah blah, but like I feel sometimes they’re trials are kind of unnecessary? Other planet ruled people (besides Scorpios) learn those exact same lessons but less harsher and the reward they get is quite possibly equivalent to Saturns soo idk… I feel like Saturn is just a bit much. (Let’s discuss this I’m curious to know what people have to say 🤓)

End of observations! I hope you all enjoy these as much as I did!

(Likes and reposts are appreciated! 💛)

#astrology #astro community #astro observations #astro placements #astro notes #astro posts #astro blurbs #astro

[yukikogazingthestars]

Heyyy so could I request Mori x fem reader who is Hirotsu's granddaughter? Port mafia had a meeting and Hirotsu told reader to wait Infront of port mafia building she was waiting and smoking and listening to music when Elise came and took her to meeting and reader has crush on mori for some time and everyone were shocked that Hirotsu has a granddaughter but the thing is thathe found her on his doorstep one day

Ability:Siren voice, she can control people by singing

If you are comfortable make her 20s if you not make her age you want

Thanks

Well, I terribly took a long time to finish it. But, if you're happy to read it, please do leave a comment. If you don't feel comfortable, anon in ask-box will be fine too❤️

Hirotsu never knew he had a granddaughter until he found that someone abandoned a child in front of his door with a letter claiming that that little child was his granddaughter. He was puzzled. How could he be a grandfather when he was just only 25 years old? Again, he never did that with someone, well at least not someone with blonde hair. That child had blue ocean eyes, blonde hair and cute dimples that proved that she wasn't his descendant.

He knew that that's absurd and a scam but he still wasn't heartless enough to send this child to an orphanage because he knew how an orphanage could be so fucked up in those time. Again,he couldn't leave the child alone in this darkness. So, he decided to be a guardian for the child. Of course,he also kept a secret from the organization since Port Mafia at that time was so fucked up and so cruel .He worried that the crazy boss would do something terrible to the child or he would use her as a hostage to keep him loyal.

Years later, it was finally Mori's reign.But, Hirotsu decided to keep the secret with him all his life as he was used to it. Y/N gradually grew up into a fine and intelligent lady and like Hirotsu, she had an obsession with cigarettes .

Hirotsu always told her not to smoke too much but Y/N never listened. Hirotsu didn't want Y\N to join the Port Mafia since he believed that Y/N deserved to be in the light while he was in the dark protecting her. They may not be blood related but their bond is like a real father and daughter.

"Like I said, you can't go " Hirotsu frowned his eyes when he heard Y/N's request.

"If you have so much time, why don't you go shopping with your friends? Moreover, they don't even know I have a tantrum throwing brat" He smoked out the Cigarettes while he watched Y/N rolling herself on the floor yelling that she wanted to meet Mori.

"I said that won't be happen"

"Hirotsu San! You meanie!"

Although Hirotsu kept refusing her request, he knew he had to take her to the HQ today because of the incident of disappearing Port Mafia's building because of the Guild. He sighed,killed the cigarettes and got up .

"I will leave the house in 15 minutes so you better hurry"

"You mean I can come with you? Right!? Right!?"

"If you agree not to disturb our job"

Y/N happily got up and jumped into Hirotsu causing him a little backache.

"Please piggy back to HQ!!"

"What do you think you are? An elementary school kid? Get off. Again,they don't know you're my granddaughter.Moreover.. "

"They don't even know you have one ."Y/N giggled and got off from Hirotsu. She picked up the bag which contained a book, cigarette case and some chewing gum.

"Just tell them I'm your daughter.That's more relevant la."

"Thanks to someone,I got a grandchild without having a daughter or son"

That's their daily conversation. Although Hirotsu wanted to keep the adoption a secret, Y/N found out that when she was just a kid since their appearances were too different . But, she didn't feel any remorse or anything as she accepted Hirotsu as her father and she was gladly grateful that he decided to adopt her.

The only problem was that she took a crush on his boss, Mori Ougai and that's the reason that she kept being a brat throwing tantrums to visit the Port Mafia. Hirotsu never allowed in the past but thanks to Guild being ridiculous, she had a golden chance to visit there.

But, to her disappointment, Hirotsu clearly told the guards to watch her . He clearly reminded them not to let her go near the meeting room. He even told her just to sit quietly in the reception. Y/N pouted but she had to agree.

Y/N just sat on the couch scrolling her phone and smoking until a little girl bumped into her. The young, short girl with pale skin and bright blue eyes. She has long, blonde hair, styled with straight, blunt bangs across her forehead and long, thick ringlets that curled past her waist. She wears a large red bow on the right side of her head.

Y/N whistled softly and rubbed her belly after putting that girl away from her. She killed the cigarettes and waved her hands in order to make the smoke disappear.

"That hurts! Kid, you should spare me since I am in my 20 and I started to be old"

"You are not fun.By the way, I'm Elise"

Y/N giggled and patted Elise's head.

"Hello Elise, I'm Y/N"

She had no idea who that girl was but she decided to play along since she was too bored in scrolling and watching Instagram Reels.

" I'm bored"

"Me too"

"How about doing some fun? How about annoying Rintarō ?"

"Who is Rintarō?"

"Annoying man"

“Awww"

Their conversation was really something. Y/N didn't know what Elise was talking and again Elise didn't know what Y/N was talking.

"I can sing" said Y/N while she was chewing a gun. Elise looked at her and she made a large big smile.

"Sing for me!"

"Okay, any special request?"

"I don't have one. Just sing and I'll listen"

"Okay"

Y/N stood up and cleared her throat. She was thinking hard about what song she should sing.

"Ah! How about we go upstairs? We have an empty place where we can use" said Elise.She grabbed Y/N's hand and dragged her to the upstairs.

Y/N couldn't refuse. To her surprise,no one stopped them going upstairs. So, she realized that Elise was somehow associated with high ranking members of the Port Mafia.

"How about here? It's better than Reception right?"

It was a corridor. But, to be exact,a long corridor with stained glass window, huge pillars. As expected for the Port Mafia, even the corridor was so grand.

Y/N put on her airpod, selected a song.

"I will sing Enchanted by Taylor Swift"

She told herself just to put on the mood. Elise was smiling and put her hands on her cheeks . She sat on a chair which she dragged from nowhere.

The meeting was still ongoing. Hirotsu was reporting the news about the Guild and everyone including Mori himself was paying so much attention. The atmosphere inside was really intense since the Guild had their first move .

Mori massaged his elbows softly and sighed. They were so stressed out about the case .

Until they heard a voice.

“This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you”

“Who is singing outside?”asked Mori curiously. He meant no harm or no anger in his voice, it's just the voice was so sweet and alluring that he wanted to know who was singing.

Poor Hirotsu, he was pale and sweat dropped on his forehead. He knew it was Y/N singing outside,using her ability to sing alluringly and sweetly to make her audience happy.

“It was…”

“You know who is singing, don't you?”

Kouyou was listening while she was smiling.Chuuya was frowning his eyes but he somehow enjoyed the song.Higuchi hummed the music without even knowing. Even Akutagawa didn't give negative feedback and the rest of the black lizard also enjoyed the song.

“It was..”

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

It became silent again after the song. But, the happiness and the calming energy was still here and they wanted to meet who was the owner of that angelic voice.

“Hirotsu San, if you know who was singing, do bring her here”

“But, boss-”

Hirotsu couldn't finish his words since Elise bursted into the room grabbing Y/N .

“Ah ah, it hurts Elise chan”

“Rintarō, I made a new friend. She can sing! She has angelic voice”

Elise was shaking Y/N violently and jumping like a rabbit with excitement.Poor Y/N, she was so excited and shiver to see her crush here. But, she couldn't do anything since Elise was yanking her hands in and out. She helplessly looked at Hirotsu and as expected, Hirotsu was giving that look .Yes, he was clearly angry.

“Elise chan, please stop . You're hurting that poor girl” Mori cooed and he gently grabbed Elise towards him.

“Sorry, she’s just really happy to make a new friend “

“...it’s okay”

“Who are you,if I may ask?”

Y/N looked at Hirotsu with *asking for help* eyes. Hirotsu sighed and decided to step in.

“Boss, if I may answer, she is my granddaughter”

Kouyou put her hands to her mouth trying not to laugh. Chuuya couldn't close his mouth from surprise. Tachihara and Higuchi couldn't help but laugh till their stomach hurt since Hirotsu and that girl didn't resemble each other in any way.Again, how can a 50 years old man have a granddaughter of that age.Mori was a little surprised by his answer too.

“She was…she was adopted.That was a long story.”

Hirotsu explained the situation in short. Mori nodded softly while he was listening to the whole story.

“So, you hid your granddaughter from the organization for a long time”

“It was my personal life.So, I thought I shouldn't make a scene”

Mori didn't blame both of them. Instead he offered Y/N to live in Port Mafia for a time being until the Guild was solved.

Y/N was blushing from the idea of sharing the same roof with her Crush. She wanted to refuse but Mori said,”You won't make Elise cry,will you” and she finally agreed.

Hirotsu didn't like the idea,but it was the safest option so he had to agree. Even Poor protective Grandpa had the time to give up.

#bungo stray dogs #mori ougai #bsd x reader #mori ougai x reader #bsd mori x reader #bsd mori #anime x reader #mori ougai × y/n #mori ougai × reader

[achy-boo]

Cast of Replace? We don’t think so.

Quote #1: “Don’t talk to me if you just want to spill bullshit out of your mouth.”

Quote #2: "Only a fool will see OUR (name) as a replacement.."

Name: Sun Hi (Sun Hi Marques is his real name but he never says his last name)

Titles: The Mysterious Boy, The Fashion Delinquent

Nicknames: He goes by Sunny or Dull Boy (Tho Sunny is only you,his family, Dawn and the people he trusted can call him that)

Age: He’s 25 years old

Species/Race: [Redacted]

Personality: He is the embodiment of ‘I don’t give a fuck’. He is intimidating and can come off as disrespectful and cold. Sun Hi is distant and very intelligent. Even though he may look scary at first, he is actually a sweet heart. He always put others before him and like to make the people who pissed him off regret it deeply.

Likes: Sun Hi likes being alone most of the time, his loved ones, he had a crush on you even since you introduced yourself to him and friended him, going out clubbing, reading and music.

Hobbies: He tends to watch the rain or walk in the rain. He likes to bake and cook tho not everyone know this.

Dislikes: Eva(The exchange student), Lucifer(Lucifer always annoyed him for some reason), Mephistopheles(It’s a mutual hate they both had), He..can’t stand Solomon for some reason.

Sexuality: This boy is closeted Pansexual

Fun Fact: He also had a crush on Dawn, Mammon and Beelzebub

Quote #1: “Oi (name). You wanna hang out with me and the others?”

Quote #2: “Would those bastards shut up already?”

Name: Dawn Libya

Nicknames: Moonlight and Black rose(There is a good reason why Dawn is called the Black Rose)

Titles: The Missing Twin of the Libya Family

Age: 19

Species/Race: [Redacted]

Personality: Dawn is considered by others as a rebel with intelligence and violence. She is cold and snappy at others, always skipping class but always turns her work in on time. Dawn is a daredevil even goes far as pissing off a demon to get a thrill of risking death. Dawn is never the one to follow rules but she had to bc of Sun Hi and Mc

Likes: Smoking weed, DJ and bartending,she likes skipping class and school. She likes dramas unlike SunHi, cute things, music and likes to party as well. She had a crush on you(Mc) when you protected her from harsh rumors of her by few of your classmates.

Dislikes: She can’t stand hypocrite and arrogant people. She sometimes tolerate Asmo. She despises Belphie. School tho she suck it up. She never like Eva nor Solomon. She hated it when people bully others for fun.

Sexuality: This girl is Polysexual

Fun Fact: She acts fruity towards her friends and SunHi. Though she does not do that often. She used to have a crush on Eva (It died down very quickly)

Quote #1: “Why would anyone love a person like (name)?”

Quote #2: “Why (name) had all the attention from others including Dawn and SunHi!? NO FAIR!”

Name: Eva Mcelain

Nicknames: Eva, Attention Seeking Bitch (SunHi), Dead Crush(Dawn)

Titles: The Girl with no sympathy, The Bitch with lust for money and love and This is both SunHi and Dawn’s favorite: The Cheating Student.

Age: 23

Species: Human

Personality: Eva..is..something. Eva is what most of her old peers call her an unforgiving and selfish person. She is always dishonest about her actions. She is ego-Centric and a narcissist. She is a bit caring but unfortunately, she never does much good to save her life. A bully and an attention seeker. Is there any good thing about her? NOPE.

Likes: Attention, Getting away from trouble, the brothers (expect Mammon and Beelzebub), Dawn and SunHi (They do not like her in that way), bullying MC, partying with Asmo, spreading false rumors.

Dislike: everything about MC, Not getting her way, her parents, not getting Dawn and SunHi's time and attention, seeing MC happy, Dawn's hatred for her.

Sexaulity: questioning

Fun Fact: She had a huge crush on SunHi and Dawn since middle school but the said people does not like her. They never do.

Note about Dawn, SunHi and Mc:

-Dawn and SunHi knew each other since birth even before Dawn went missing

-Mc,Dawn and SunHi are childhood besties. (They all have met in 2nd grade while SunHi is in 3rd grade)

#obey me replaced mc au #Replaced? We don't think so #The three exchanges students

[littleplacetoescapeto]

DARKENED DESIRE - CHAPTER 1

Series Summary: Eris and Selene, daughter of Rhysand and Feyra, heir to the Night Court. Two people who don't exactly love each other are forced to marry for political reasons. A story of love and hate, but also of power and fall.

Pairing: Eris Vanserra X Selene (daughter of Rhysand and Feyra)

Started: 25/7/23

A/N : this one is little longer since it is an intro :))

----------------------

Selene was the daughter of the most powerful High Lord in all of Prythian, Rhysand, and Feyre. She was the younger sister of Nyx and was currently 25 years old. She always trained just as hard as her brother, either in the camp with the Illyrians or alongside Cassian and Azriel. Her magic was extensive, and even without magic, she was fast and nearly invisible. Moreover, she was intelligent and stubborn.

Selene had found a cozy apartment away from her family so that she could have moments of peace – but that wasn't happening. If Amren wasn't visiting her to teach her new spells, Elain was coming over with new herbs, or her father and mother dropped by to talk to her. They tried to persuade her to attend events or be more cautious, but that wasn't her style. She craved adventure, and sitting on her ass was just boring to her. When she wasn't in Velaris, she would be in the Illyrian Mountains, in a hut she had built just behind the cabin where her father had spent his childhood. She wanted to have something of her own there, especially since she spent more time in the mountains. She loved her family, of course, and would visit them in the River house, but she no longer lived with them. She cherished her freedom.

She was also often in the Hewn city - to check on Morrigan's father. Of course, he didn't like her being there, but he couldn't do much except tolerate her visits. Surprisingly, she never minded it and actually liked the town. Quite frequently, she had to meet Eris there in secret, who had proven to be useful over the years as she grew up. Eventually, the bastard convinced everyone that maybe he wasn't as rotten as they had thought. His father, Beron, still held power and made life difficult for everyone else. That's why Eris kept feeding them information.

Selene didn't like him much, but she tolerated his presence. And when they weren't at odds to the point where Cassian had to pull them apart, they managed to get along. Sometimes she even dealt with these matters herself, so at least they had to put up with each other somehow. However, the situation in Prythian wasn't the most stable. The twisted bonds between the other courts were growing stronger, and no one trusted each other much. They needed to be brought back together somehow, to forge a bond between them.

--------------

Today was different. Beron himself was invited to the Hewn city with his wife and all his sons, and Helion also arrived to discuss other matters of peace.

Selene sat in one of the chairs in the meeting room at a large black table. Her father, Rhysand, sat on one side of her, her mother next to him, and Nyx on the other side, fiddling with a knife. She loved her brother more than anything, and he loved her; he would always protect his little sister. Across from them sat representatives from the Autumn Court, and next to them sat Helion. After a few hours of constant arguing, silence fell. It was a silence only broken by Beron saying:

"If you want to ensure stability, marry Selene to Eris, two heirs to powerful courts," a smile appeared on his lips, as sly as only the Autumn Kingdom could muster. They all went still—her father stiffened, Nyx readied his knife as if to lunge across the table and plunge it into Beron's throat. And Eris, he still had visible shock on his face. Everyone tensed, and no one said anything before Rhysand spoke.

"I don't think this decision is mine or yours. How Selene decides is purely her business, and I will support her decision no matter what it is," even at the cost of war Selene thought not letting a single emotion show on her face.

------------------

Eris sat next to his father and listened to the conversations being held during the Hewn City meeting. He thought that nothing worse could happen today than having to be here, sitting next to his father and pretending as if he hadn't been secretly scheming with the Night Court for years. But then he heard something about a marriage, and suddenly he became alert. Did his father just say that? No, he couldn't hear properly. After the initial shock, he calmed down, knowing full well that something like this wasn't going to happen anyway. He and Selena hated each other, and the mere mention of them having to spend more time together than they already did just didn't sit well with him.

-------------------------

They all met at the River House, where they immediately went to tell the others what had happened. Amren was already sitting in a chair with a glass of wine, and Azriel and Cassian had already been quickly informed, so they were talking quietly in a corner of the room. Elain and Nesta waited patiently for news.

Selene didn't know what to think... but she knew one thing. If she refused to marry Eris, Beron would be insulted, and war would be on their doorstep. Not that she cared much about what the High Lord of the Autumn Court thought, but she did care about their people—the people of Velaris and the continent—who would not survive another war. Moreover, even if war didn't come immediately, the differences and contradictions between the Courts would eventually lead to conflict. Though she had never imagined herself saying such a thing or allowing herself to submit to anything like this, she knew there was no other option. And so, when the question of marriage came up, she said:

"I'll do it, I'll marry him."

#darkeneddesire #eris vanserra x reader #high lord eris #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x reader #autumn court #acotar fanfiction #smut #fluff

[sparkknightella]

MORE REASONS i believe this painting represents Alice in the Mage’s Tea Party cutscene

This is the only painting that includes a hatless witch. I think this may be a Young Alice seeing the event that inspired her to go on her adventures instead of just reading or writing about them ((as evidenced by the massive stack of papers beside her))

We know that Alice and Klee’s race/species ages much slower than humans, and she appears to be a pre-teen/young teenager. I’ve seen a couple of theorists say that despite Klee appearing to only be 8-10, she’s actually between 25-30 years old. This could mean that Alice (most likely highly intelligent from even around Klee’s age) has been yearning to go off into the world from a young age.

So she sees this Giant meteor (maybe the Twins👀) and decides “This is it. I must become a sorcerer and adventurer and figure out who and what has descended on Teyvat.” So she buys a witch hat and goes on her merry way.

I will also add that this would also be a good reason behind Alice fostering so much independence/freedom in Klee. She gave her child bombs, kind of guaranteed her a knight title in Mondstat, and told her lots and lots of wild adventure stories about Dodocos and buried treasure.

Now… remember how Alice is the only hatless witch in these paintings? She appears again in Rhinedottir’s painting. She’s the girl whose braids are being swooshed around while Rhinedottir flies (away?) in the background.

This is DEFINITELY the girl from the first painting, she has the same braids and the same bow tied at her back. All the swooshing of her hair also leans into my “Alice is an Anemo User” theory, but that’s for another time.

Alice may have lived in a town that Rhinedottir would visit on occasion. She may have inspired Alice to become an artificer and sorcerer. She could also be flying away after visiting Alice one night and that’s why there’s so much wind.

If you want to argue that one of the Known Authors of the Hexenzirkel would be better suited for the stack of papers, remember Alice is a jack of Many Many trades (or master of All, who knows!). She’s also the Author of the Teyvat travel guide, which is less a travel guide, and more Alice’s recap/recommendations from her adventures in a certain region.

Also Hoyoverse always lists the VAs by order of appearance in the description on Youtube, so I’m assuming it applies the same to these paintings. All the details line up with that being the order. You can just work from Andersdotter… hers is very obvious.

IM PRAYING this means that Alice is going to have long twin-tails, Mona-style. I’m PRAYING this is confirmed somewhere, somehow. I feel really smart right now

I will be making posts about the other paintings and posting them under “Mage’s Tea Party Paintings”

#Genshin #Genshin Impact #genshin theory #genshin lore #alice #hexenzirkel #rhinedottir #arlechinno #genshin x reader #klee #alice genshin impact #mona #mona genshin impact #albedo #genshin fanfic #Mages Tea Party #Mages Tea Party Paintings

[bucketofchum]

Foster Bros AU Atumu gets a girlfriend at age 22-ish? Maybe older. Maybe 25. She's respectful so she hasn't tried to push his boundaries (he's still aroace but she's a nice person - one of the few nice people he has met in his life), so they haven't ever done anything beyond cuddling before. She's older than he is. A lot of emotional intelligence. More content with under the cut (lots of SA trigger warning)

I think this is after she had met Startop and Startop acts like a total dick bc he's jealous. Atumu tries to defend his foster brother for his behaviour. After all, Startop is the only other human being who has ever been kind to him and genuinely cared for him as a person.

Atumu casually alludes to some bad shit that happened, but he seems emotionally okay with it. Doesn't go into detail but he just mentions it. Like some bad shit happened, but it's bc he's got this deformed body. And Alice is like ?? Bc she has seen Atumu in basically his underwear and he looks fine to her. He looks FINE to her haha. Anyhow he shrugs it off like it's no biggie but she is actually curious. Will be tell her? They've been dating for, idk, like, 2 years now at this point? (Atumu doesn't really know what a relationship is so I guess he doesn't know how long they have been dating. He doesn't even know what dating is).

Atumu is intersex. He doesn't really know what it is, and he doesn't know much about it. But he knows there is something physically "wrong" with him, and that's probably why all the Bad Stuff happened. He has experienced REPEATED sexual assaults, in almost every stage of his life. Early childhood (before 8 years old - but he has no memory of that, age 12 at boarding school from a group of older boys - really fucking traumatic, age 15 when he went to a private university - first week getting drugged and date raped by a bunch of upperclassmen, and 15-18 all throughout his entire undergraduate experience just because he didn't understand boundaries and didn't KNOW he was allowed to say no). By the time he was 18, in his last year in university, he was so emotionally vacant and dissociative and had basically zero will to live. He said no for the first time in his life. And kept saying no. And hadn't had sex since.

Now, some 4-6 years later, it has been a while since he has had any sexual experiences and it's....nice. He has never wanted sex. He was already asexual before the sexual assaults, and afterwards...? He has a hard time distinguishing the difference between sex and rape. Because he has NEVER wanted it. It's all the same to him.

But the kind of tragic thing is that he has sort of internalized it to be...his fault? Like the REASON he was raped was bc of his body. He's got this fucked up body - that's why he was raped. That's why all those horrible things happened to him repeatedly. And this is what he gets for having a fucked up body.

Alice can't imagine what he's talking about since he's so fucking vague about it. He never told her about the rapes, but his vague ass language gave her some idea that he might have been SA'd. But deformed? She's seen almost all of him and the only thing that seemed strange, besides how tall and thin he is, were his large scars across his back. But he has already told her that he doesn't know what those are from (that happened before he was 8 years old, which he has no living memory of).

So she asks to see. Atumu still doesn't know why anyone would want to see his genitals. He thinks all genitals are kinda........ blegh. And his in particular are even more messed up. So he gives her a warning. She still wants to see.

He does eventually show her and.....it sort of all makes sense. Why he'd say that sort of thing. Why he'd think that. He has a penis, like normal - well, I mean not that normal cuz it's MmMmmm..hmmm we will just say more than proportional ... Hm okay no additional comment, but at the base of it, it connects to what looks like a fully formed vagina instead of a scrotum. It looks identical to any normal ciswoman's labia...just weirdly where the clit would be, Atumu instead has his penis. She has heard of "hermaphrodite" before but never knew it could be like this. (She'd spend the next few days furiously teaching herself about it on the internet).

Anyhow, in the moment, she asks if she can touch it. Atumu is uncomfortable, but he allows her to. She tries a bit, but based on Atumu's body language in response, she doesn't push it.

They don't mention it again for a while, but Alice thinks about it nonstop for like...the rest of her life.

#tw: sa #cw: sa mention #lots of trigger warnings for this one under the cut #intersex #oodles of doodles #foster au #alice #anyhow that's not at all what Alice looks like but idk how to draw her #i have aphantasia so I can't picture her but its not that #my OCs that no one cares about #also he never says no to her but she is respectful enough to notice when he is uncomfortable #which is SO GOOD of her

[pcradoxes]

𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘵

* ◟ : 〔 FELIX MALLARD , CIS MAN + HE / HIM 〕 DANTE BEAUVAIS , some say you’re a TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD lost soul among the neon lights. known for being both INDEPENDENT and SARCASTIC, one can’t help but think of NO DIABLO by UMPHREY'S MCGEE when you walk by. are you still a JAZZ MUSICIAN for THE GODFATHER HOUSE OF BLUES, even with your reputation as THE ATELOPHOBIC? i think we’ll be seeing more of you and SMELL OF CIGARETTES AND THE SOUND OF STEPS ON THE WET PAVEMENT, AN EMPTY RECORD STORE, DOORS THAT OPEN TO NOWHERE, although we can’t help but think of JESS MARIANO ( GILMORE GIRLS ) + KAT STRATFORD ( TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU ) + ELIOT WAUGH ( THE MAGICIANS ) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.

NAME dante augustin beauvais AGE 25 DATE OF BIRTH august 20th GENDER & PRONOUNS cis man, he/him SEXUALITY gay OCCUPATION jazz musician at the godfather house of blues HOMETOWN lafayette, louisiana ASTROLOGY leo sun, libra rising, leo moon. MBTI INTJ. INSPO dante (divine comedy), kat stratford (ten things i hate about you), shawn spencer (psych), eliot waugh (the magicians), jess mariano (gilmore girls) ALIGNMENT true neutral.

the second born of six children to parents who never should have had the first, dante spent his childhood wishing that he hadn't been born. a father who was in and out of addiction, who left and came back over and over again left him feeling like he would never be enough for anyone. a mother who worshipped the ground he walked on because he was the smart one, he was the one who would make it, and she used that against the rest of his siblings - at least when she could be bothered to show up for some other reason besides needing to borrow money or needing a place to stay. dante inherited his intelligence from her, though mostly out of spite, never used it, instead leaning into creative talents taught to him by his older brother.

neither parent were really around, leaving him and the rest of the siblings in the care of his older brother, who dante respects, despite the years of bitterness between the two because dante felt he didn't recieve the same care as the younger siblings. eventually he came to understand that his brother had only been a few years older than him, had his own issues (particularly surrounding dante and delphine and her constant use of dante's talents to tell all the other siblings why they weren't as good). almost every decision in his life is based off of not wanting to be like his parents, even as he carries so much of each of them in himself.

as soon as he turned 18, he left home, mostly in an effort to leave behind his parents and make a name for himself somewhere that it wouldn't be attached to theirs. new york was the third place he found himself and finding himself content with the city, with his job, he has no plans to leave anytime soon.

#lawlessintro

[angelsanarchy]

Alone Together - Eddie/OC One-Shot Series PRT 25

Prt 1 - Prt 2 - Prt 3 - Prt 4 - Prt 5 - Prt 6 - Prt 7 - Prt 8 - Prt 9 - Prt 10 - Prt 11 - Prt 12 - Prt 13 - Prt 14 - Prt 15 - Prt 16 - Prt 17 - Prt 18 - Prt 19 - Prt 20 - Prt 21 - Prt 22 - Prt 23 - Prt 24 -

taglist:

@thetenthdoctorscompanion @siriuslymooned @samwilsonnsnns @kathaaaaaaa

Eddie walked into the trailer, slamming the door behind himself and tossing a grease covered rag on the table with frustration. Wayne watched him carefully as he plopped down on the couch abruptly, muttering to himself through gritted teeth.

"So I take it the van is giving you trouble." Wayne was kicked back with the newspaper in his lap.

"I just can't get my hands to do what they need to do in this weather. It's like they cramp up from the cold and its pissing me off. How the hell am I supposed to have it up and running before Dani gets back?" Eddie rubbed his dirty hands through his hair and Wayne knew why he was so upset.

"Has she called?" He asked curiously knowing she hadn't called him since the beginning of her vacation.

"She apparently called Robin who told Steve who told Dustin who told the group that she would be home midday tomorrow but no she hasn't called again." Eddie picked at his nails and Wayne put the paper down.

"I thought you would be a bit more excited to see her considering you've been sulking about her being gone since she pulled out of here." Wayne watched Eddie roll his eyes knowing he wouldn't deny it.

"Yeah but she's been hanging out with her mom who hates me and Hawkins. Whose to say she doesn't come back to ditch me for someone better, who actually has a future beyond this town?" Eddie had never talked like this outloud to his uncle. Mostly because he knew how Wayne felt about him and hated hearing him limit himself to his reputation and last name.

"From what I picked up on at Thanksgiving, I don't see Dani's mother having any real influence over her decision making, let alone who she chooses to spend time with. Why would you worry about that now?" Wayne pressed.

"Apparently her mom has been shitting on the Munson name. Giving her all this history about my old man and how its in my genes to end up stuck in Hawkins locked up or working at a gas station." Wayne hated that woman. He knew how uppity she had always been but that never stopped her from buying drugs off his brother when they were younger. She often forgets that she isn't better than anyone just because she's seen the outside of Hawkins.

"What if she realizes I'm a waste of space? She deserves so much better than me, Unc." Eddie sounded so desperate, it broke Wayne's heart.

"Son, I can assure you that no one looks at you less like a waste of space than that girl. Dani is a strong minded, intelligent girl who thinks for herself and knows what she wants. Fighting for your life at a young age will do that to you." Wayne explained.

"Exactly! She's been through hell and for some reason she wants to be friends with me." Wayne laughed making Eddie frown.

"Oh boy. That girl is head over heels for you, Eddie. Don't kid yourself into thinking she just wants to be friends with you. I know you're smarter than that." Eddie blushed looking down at his dirty hands.

"I know how you feel about Dani but I also know that you've never been in love before so I can tell how god damn terrified you are." Wayne moved to sit next to Eddie.

"I don't have anything to give her, Wayne. Look at me. I'm a third year senior with no college aspirations and a part time job. I care enough about her to know that I'm not what she should want." Eddie looked at his uncle pitifully and he clapped a hand on his back.

"I want you to say it out loud Son. I want you to admit to yourself how you feel and know that the only person that has to think you're good enough for her...is her." Eddie nodded his head letting out a breath.

"She makes me want to be better, I just don't even know where to start with being a guy who could possibly deserve her." Wayne smiled at him. Watching Eddie grow up has been one of his greatest joys and all he can hope is that he continues to follow a path that will prop him up and not bring him down. That's what his mother would have wanted.

"How about you stop wasting time skirting around what people think of you and actually tell her how you feel. That would be a good start in my opinion." Wayne stood up, giving one last squeeze to Eddie's shoulder before walking back to his recliner.

"I would probably take a shower as well...you know, clean the grease from under your fingernails." Wayne teased making Eddie roll his eyes.

"I'll be sure to do all my primping before she touches down in Hawkins. Thanks Uncle Wayne." Eddie started back towards his bedroom to grab a clean change of clothes for a shower. Wayne tried to remember what it felt like to be in love at that age but it only made him think of Eddie's mother. He likes to think that things would have been so different if she would have ended up with him instead of his brother but it always made him feel somber. He only hoped that Eddie and Dani would have a much happier ending.

#Eddie Munson #Dani Murillo #Dani x Eddie #Stranger Things Fic #Alone Together Series #Alone Together #Eddie Munson x OC #One Shot Series #Stranger Things

[jasontoddsguns]

I’ve read a fair amount with Talia (not a huge expert but good enough) and this is what I believe to be the situation as far as her age:

When she was originally created, she was SUPPOSED to around 18, yes. But in just the comics, I don’t believe it exactly got stated? We knew she was college-age, but not necessarily only 18. However, Dennis O’Neil stated in interviews that 18 was what he was going for. In my opinion, her behaviors in those comics, as well as her relationship with Ra’s, does make most sense with her only being barely an adult, even if obviously the fact that Bruce most certainly was in his late-20s or older is… not great, to say the least.

I’m not sure if saying they DATED when Talia was 18 would be accurate, though. In the early comics, their romance was mostly kept to Talia kissing Bruce on the cheek, and him smiling or blushing and complimenting her beauty/intelligence, while also trying to get her to understand that in the long run they weren’t going to work out. As far as Bruce’s receptiveness, he does kiss her (on the lips) once, but I don’t think much happened besides that.

Anyway, the whole 18yo thing got retconned around a year after her creation, in Marv Wolfman’s Lazarus Affair storyline (Batman #332-335), in which it’s stated that Talia is semi-immortal like her father, and (if I’m remembering correctly) around 150-200 years old. In this, they start actually dating for real and whatnot, but it doesn’t really matter since they’re both over the age of 25 (when brains are fully developed).

Her being immortal then gets retconned 6 years later in Batman: Son of the Demon, where it’s told that her mother most likely got pregnant with her somewhere around the end of World War 2. With today’s dates, she’d still have to be using the pit to look as young as she does, but this was in 1987, making her around 40. Probably not far from Bruce’s age, but possibly a bit older? (Also mentioned in Batman: Bride of the Demon, published 2 years later and by same writer, that no one but Ra’s has used the pit since Talia’s mother’s death, so she really couldn’t have used it before.)

Of course, this only lasts 5 years before Batman: Birth of the Demon, written by Dennis O’Neil once again, is published. In this, Bruce asks how old Talia is and assumes she’s immortal, admitting that he was hoping to get beauty tips from her on how to stay looking so young. Talia, although flattered, quickly denies this assumption and explains that she is “not yet thirty”. But obviously, when as young as 18 is a possibility, that’s pretty vague.

That’s where her parents meeting at a music festival comes in. Birth of the Demon was the original comic to include such a concept, with Talia stating that her parents met “in Woodstock, New York, during a music festival”. The confusing part is that I’m pretty sure Woodstock (1969) didn’t end up actually happening there? Either way, I’d assume that was probably still what she was referring to (most likely just an error on the writer’s side).

This, on its own, actually says a ton about her age. Birth of the Demon came out in 1992, which is only 23 years after the Woodstock festival. With pregnancy time in consideration, even if Talia was conceived at Woodstock itself, she couldn’t be older than 22. It also talked a ton in this graphic novel about how Ra’s and Bruce have known each other for a lot of years now, so… we’re back at the start. Yet again, Talia was canonically around 18 when they first met.

I haven’t read much from post-2006 (for obvious reasons), but between 1992 and 2006 the only age mention I can think of is Talia being younger than Nyssa, who… I believe is maybe around 200-300? Actually, just in general, it seemed like Talia definitely wasn’t immortal in Batman: Death and the Maidens.

Uhhh I guess there’s also Batman Odyssey to take into consideration? It’s one of the few things I’ve read post-2006, but I’m also quite confident it took place in a different universe. Anyway, it was a plot point in it that Bruce and Talia were friends as toddlers due to their parents being business partners. Since they were both toddlers at the same time, the age gap there really couldn’t have been more than a year.

That’s really it as far as my own information, so maybe someone else can add on to me as far as post-2006.

“Not an expert” bitch then wtf is this. Don’t sell yourself short.

#dc #asks #inbox #anon #batman #talia al ghul

[nagdabbit]

we collide with shoulder and steel: 3/25

rating: t to be safe

words: 1.7k

also on ao3

He'd barely crested the top of the trail before he found himself staring down the beast's snarling maw.

For all he'd spent years thinking of making the climb, he hadn't actually ever imagined himself arriving. He'd never actually thought of what he'd do once he got there, how he'd keep himself alive and, more than that, safe. 

As it happened, he didn't have quite so much to worry about as he'd feared.

The beast, it turned out, wasn't half so terrifying as the stories made him out to be. A frightening thing to behold, certainly, but not the colossal, mindless beast so many battered hunters told of on their returns.

He wasn't twelve feet tall, wings sprouting from his back, a whip-thin serpent's tail thrashing about behind him, lightning and fire licking up the tall, sharp horns protruding from his head. A wretched chimera, born of cruelty and malice and all manner else, that he fucking well was. Terrifying pieces sewn into a punishment of all punishments, but he wasn't some otherworldly creature beyond all comprehension. 

He towered over Yuta, at least a good foot and a half taller. Like many taking their first steps into the abandoned courtyard, he wondered how tall he must have been in life. A goat-like face and cloven hooves, clawed hands and sharp teeth. He had himself a set of ram's horns, two pointing sharply upward and two more curled down toward his face, and a set of floppy, oddly bovine ears. He burned hot enough Yuta could feel it, even feet away. He just knew the beast could likely breathe fire if he wanted, but he didn't once even threaten flames. His shoulders, arms, chest, the color and set of his eyes—some of him remained almost human, if not for the covering of soft looking, chestnut fur and strange pupils.

He was a nightmare, certainly. But Yuta had quite honestly had far worse.

At the same time he surpassed the legends, he didn't quite meet them. He was certainly terrifying, but made less so by the intelligence in his eyes. He wanted to be terrifying, which meant he could be reasoned with. He wouldn't hurt Yuta unless he'd done something to deserve it.

So he did the first thing he could think of, and extended at hand toward the raging beast. He did exactly as he'd always been taught, and hoped to hell he'd one day be able to look back and laugh at his own audacity—or, perhaps more accurately, his stupidity.

"Hello, my name is Wheeler Yuta," he said, looking up into a pair of uncanny blue eyes.

The beast almost flinched back from Yuta's hand, as if a weapon had been waved at his abdomen. The growl tapered off into a low rumble from deep in his chest, almost an afterthought. 

He looked at the hand stretched out between them—blessedly still attached to his wrist—and back up into the beast's face, expectantly.

"I don't care who you are," he finally snapped, seeming to come back to himself after a few moments of confusion. He batted Yuta's hand away, though he didn't seem to use even a fraction of the force he had at his disposal. "Leave. I am tired of trespassers."

Yuta didn't begrudge him his anger, not really. He'd collected every scrap of journal, spoke with anyone who had stories, hunted down every account of the beast he could get his hands on. The beast had had more than his fair share of monsters of his own to fight off, and Yuta could see decades old signs of battle on what was left of the gatehouse. 

But all the same, his desire for solitude had only drained the land of its life. 

"If I swore that I've no desire to bed you or best you, would you stop growling at me?" he asked, and took a step forward. To his great surprise, the beast retreated a step in response. Rather than attack, or even continue to threaten, he backed away.

"Leave me alone," he grumbled, voice wavering beneath the implicit threat, and took another step back as Yuta pushed forward. 

He took a bland look around. "If this is what alone has done for you, I'd say you've been alone long enough."

The beast made an affronted sound, flinching back with a snarl. "I have no need of your attentions, boy."

"Lucky, then, that I am not here for you. I'll swear it on my life," he offered, meeting that strange, animal gaze head on. "I know full well, if the nature of your curse matches the survivors' tales, that I'm not the one to break it. I have no designs on that, and I suffer no delusions."

"You're certainly delusional to think I'd let my guard down." He gave a derisive snort, ears flicking with agitation. "That I'd let you take my head off."

"I beg to fucking differ. I have lived my entire life at the bottom of this mountain, a village ravaged by this unending drought," he snapped, motioning back the way he had come as he took another few steps forward. "Had I strength or skill enough to collect a bounty on your hide, no one close enough to care would be able to pay it. And I'm not dragging your hide the week's journey to the next town."

The beast scoffed, matching Yuta's steps back like a sparring dance. "You expect me to believe you? No one who steps foot on this forsaken mountain does so without wanting something from me."

"Well more fool them." He opened his hands in peace. "I brought no weapons with me. Only a rusted trowel."

Uncanny blue eyes flickered toward Yuta's hip, like a piece of steel would be strapped there, blatantly betraying his promise. All his years of fighting enemies with aspirations and anger, and it was a boy with naught but tools of cultivation that caught him off guard. 

"I am not here for you," he promised, hand to heart. "I swear on my life."

"I don't want your life," the beast snapped. It was hard to read the expression on his face, features too animalistic to parse, but he looked almost—surprised. Almost at a loss, like he didn't quite know what to do with Yuta.

He supposed he wasn't what the beast expected, too used to greed and anger.

"Then I'll do my level best not to give it to you," Yuta said, holding his gaze for a long moment. The longer he spent staring down the beast, the less frightening he became, the less alien his features looked. "I'll stay out of your way, but I'm here now and I'm not leaving."

"You can't stay here." He continued to growl, low in his chest, but even he sounded almost unsure.

"Yes, well, you really gave up that choice when you let the land fall to complete and utter shit," Yuta said, and pushed past the beast and through the gate. It was a testament to how caught off guard he was, Yuta thought, that he was able to brush past the beast's shoulder without being accosted. "Since you're clearly not going to do anything about this drought, I'll give it a go."

There was a scoff at his back, and then the heavy tread of the beast's steps. "Yes, I'm sure that after several centuries, the one to solve this mess is a boy."

He looked back at the beast, eyebrows raised. "Because you have managed to solve it all on your own?"

A flicker of surprise flashed across the beast's face, and he faltered for a moment. But it passed, and he glowered at Yuta, "You're not the chosen one, and it's best you leave now." 

"I may not be chosen for anything, but I'm going to discover that for myself, thanks." He rolled his eyes and turned back to actually look at the keep he'd spent so long afraid of. It was, in a word, disappointing. 

Perhaps three, maybe four rooms of the main house still stood whole, everything else was in shambles. Piles of rubble where buildings once stood, walls without roofs, and floors without walls. A well stood, lonely, near what Yuta assumes to be the remnants of the garden. He had to wonder if water even still flowed.

There was nothing. No hint of green, no stamp of animal feet. Just a lonely beast and his rocks.

"How are you alive?" he asked, before he could stop himself. It made no sense, a beast so large, so old, still drawing breath on a mountaintop that hadn't seen greenery in an age. "What do you eat, if there's no food to be found? If nothing grows here anymore?"

"Perhaps I eat little boys who don't know when to run," he muttered, still lumbering along at Yuta's heels.

"Well, you'd be a great deal skinnier, for one." 

The beast was silent a long moment before he allowed a little huff of breath. Not quite a chuckle, but close enough for Yuta to count it a win. "I don't need to eat. And I can't be killed, either, and many have tried. It's a part of the curse," he admitted, quietly, oddly honest for someone who wanted Yuta off his rock. Perhaps it was a deterrent, proof of the hopelessness of Yuta's intentions. "Share true love's kiss, or live forever with a broken heart. Here I remain, living forever."

He turned to look at the beast again, meeting his sad gaze. 

When he wasn't posturing and grumbling, when he didn't have the hot anger to warm his bones, he looked old. Like the trees that grew from ridges and cliffs, he looked old and gnarled, twisted by wind and weather and a hundred other elements beyond his control. Twisted and turned, battered about by hands he couldn't even fight.

What a wretched beast, to be so beaten down with no reprieve.

He extended his hand again. "You can call me Yuta."

He flinched back, lip lifting in a reflexive snarl, but he didn't start growling again. He stared at the proffered hand for a long moment, unmoving beneath the haze of the fading evening light. But then he shifted, eyes flickering to Yuta's for a moment before he slowly reached out. His hand encircled Yuta's entire forearm with room to spare, strangely tentative and gentle despite the claws.

#a tale as old as balls #aew fic #aew fanfiction

[metvmorqhoses]

We have been mutuals for years but I’m going to step away now because I cannot in good conscience follow someone who supports the work of a dangerous bigot like JKR over the human rights of a marginalised group. Wish you the best.

In wishing you a warm farewell right back, I feel compelled to use the occasion to clarify, and for the last time, a thing or two - even if, to be quite honest, I absolutely don't consider this ask worth a response.

I do believe in certain principles though, and I think it important to state them from time to time, so I'll make this one exception in indulging underwhelming attempts at self-righteousness for the greater good.

You know, there's really nothing wrong in stopping interacting/following/liking a person for whatever intimate reason, you have every right to and you owe no one an explanation. It's quite telling though that you felt compelled to inform me, and anonymously.

This tells me you weren't actually seeking a constructive discussion, nor an explanation (you would have DMed me, or at least told me off anon, since "we have been mutuals for years"), but rather you were after that little high that small people reap from believing to have obtained, however briefly, the moral high ground over another, the effective shielded reward of the online moral policing that coincidentally always comes without consequences, since you are not even putting your face behind your egregious "good conscience".

You feel entitled to judge me for the art that I supposedly enjoy (already a ridiculous argument in itself and one that reaped real victims throughout history), after years of being my mutual, and don't even have the courage to actually face my reaction (and my unfollowing).

The fact that you cannot even appreciate how sad this all is for you as a person already frames the matter perfectly in itself. But still.

Premising that I don't need to justify the reasons I like what I like and that you should intrinsically have known you have no right whatsoever to send people messages like this, morally speaking, and also premising that I find genuinely embarrassing even having to explain such banalities to another rational being, the fact that I coherently keep liking a work of fiction that I have liked since I was six years old (specifically finding fascinating two villains and a dynamic that I explore in my own hyper-realistic way and that it's probably the farthest from any of the author's preferences as one can get), without suddenly and hypocritically finding all sorts of terrible crimes against humanity in it to reassure myself of my inner internet-approved wokeness, does not absolutely mean I share or second JKR's ideas or behaviours.

As a normally intelligent person, I'm fully able to separate the art from the artist. If people had truly used throughout history your narrow reasoning, art would have literally gone extinct thousands of years ago. We couldn't even safely read the Bible. You cannot expect to only like the artistic product of "morally"-approved people (by whose standards, moreover? What makes your opinion more important than anyone else's? Or you are an oppressor too?). You cannot quality-check artists, people, not even really committing yourself to the task, because you could never really know what's truly in a person's heart. This reasoning is simply childish and nonsensical.

I do not share JKR's views only because I like some of her characters from 25 years ago. I do not support her only because I enjoy psychoanalyzing her villains from time to time. I actually never liked JKR even while everyone else idolized her. But that never prevented me from genuinely liking what I like without pretending or idiotically forcing myself not to in the name of being TikTok-approved.

And finally, as much as I find some of her ideas disgraceful and baffling, as much as I absolutely do not support those ideas, at this point I find it much more important to support her right to think, believe and state whatever she likes without constantly risking harassment (or way worse), thanks to people like you, after all not that different from her and in some aspect even worse, who believe to have the right to "cancel" fellow human beings because of their ideas.

No one has more right to speak their mind than another, people. Freedom of thought is the backbone of culture and humanity. The fact that she is able to speak her mind disgracefully, is also the reason you are able to speak your mind against it.

The culture you are validating is dangerous and disgusting. Think about it.

#anon #this btw is a topic i had already touched years ago #it's sad i had to repeat such obviousness but here we are #bellamort #hp #jkr discourse #lord voldermort #asks/replies #one and one thousand stories lis told

[cithaerons]

re prev post it is always interesting to me seeing that kind of discussion because i do think it depends so so so much on your field. the idea of your professor being ten or fifteen years older than you in my field is almost entirely unheard of for all but the most “experiential” or pass/fail adjunct-taught courses. out of the 25 professors i had, only three were women, and two were people of color (one asian and one black man), not a single was a woman of color. the youngest prof i had was 52 years old, and i would say the average age of my professions was roughly (to be conservative) 70 and may well have been older. absolutely young academics have it very very tough and this obviously illustrates that in itself. but i guess what i’m saying is that in my field the reason we don’t see our professors as similar to us in terms of age or identity or privilege is because they are factually speaking old white male millionaires. we don’t see our profs as women or people of color or gay or trans because they simply are just not any of those things. and, while incredibly intelligent and talented and successful people and i’m certainly not trying to minimize any personal struggles they went through to get where they are, are factually in every sense of the word at the very top of the heap in terms of existing systemic power structures.

that said i realize my experiences aren’t universal and the fact that this is what it’s like in my field doesn’t mean it’s not another way in other fields.

#again i did have a very small amount of ‘courses’ taught by younger adjuncts or instructors holding temporary positions #but they weren’t really actually courses in any vaguely traditional sense so i am hesitant to include them #like a one credit experiential pass/fail seminar or something - that kind of thing #and the profs didn’t really work at the school #for the most part they worked their other jobs and weren’t trying to publish articles or anything

[sophiamcdougall]

I have tried very hard to find some deeper motivation for my irritation and I cannot, but it infuriates me the way some people on this stupid site and elsewhere talk about ... fictional immortal-ish characters. 90% of the time, your elves and Vulcans and other whatnots that look mostly human but live 4+ times as long have the same deal: "reach development stages pretty much exactly when a human would, then age very slowly if at all". Occasionally you get species like hobbits which genuinely seem to have a somewhat longer childhood and reach adulthood a little later. But even then they're not, like ... living in slow-motion, what would even be the point of that? I mean, when Bilbo's away for a year his neighbours conclude he's either gone and got married or that he's dead; they don't think nothing of it because a year is only two months in hobbit, or whatever. But I keep seeing people pulling these stupid dog-years takes like "He's played by a 28-year-old, but the character is canonically 67, which is about 19 in Morflanian terms, so that's why he's so impulsive and immature! Also his 32-year-old human love interest is actually cradle-robbing and the ship is problematic" and no that is not how anything works. Morflanians may view a 67-year-old as young and foolish because they are used to levels of maturity and experience inaccessible to humans. But you, dear reader, are not a Morflanian, and there is no possible reason he should appear to be basically a 19-year-old human to you! If he has human-level intelligence, it makes no sense that he absorbs and learns from experience far slower than humans do (unless the canon actually establishes that, in which case it should show in other ways!) Maybe he's more prone to youthful hi-jinks than his elders, but if he's more frolicsome/impetuous/whatever than the humans on the team ... that's probably just how he is.

I remember people saying it wasn't that bad that Booker from The Old Guard betrayed everyone he claimed to care about because, he was, in immortal terms, "really young"! The Old Guard immortals are just normal humans who discover one day that they've stopped aging and can't be permanently killed. Booker is a 250-year-old human man. Which yes, makes him the baby of the group, but he's ... he's literally older than any real person. If I wouldn't give a healthy 70-year-old a pass for being neurodivergent and a minor, why would I do it for someone 3.5 times that age?? If brains supposedly mature at 25 that happened to him 225 years ago!

And stop problematising adult-to-adult human/elf romances for heaven's sake. Apart from how vampires need to leave teenage girls alone.

Just enjoy your "what if endless youth" fantasy/thought experiment and stop being silly, please.

[ladytauria]

2, 3, 5, 6 (and will you read it in the upcoming year), 10 ,14, 18, 20, 24 y 25!

thank you for asking!!! i had to grab books from last year bc this year was a bad reading year for me, but the questions were/are fun!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

i reread the last unicorn yesterday!!! bc i was feeling nostalgic. i made. a BUNCH more highlights in my kindle. (altho i read my physical copy lol.) there's just... so much good stuff in there, aah.

(oh ik u sent me an ask about this, idk if you saw it--ik tumblr is goofy--but its here! also, minor clarification: it doesn't have a *sequel* but there's a pair of novellas, released as one book, that are set in the same world!)

3. What were your top five books of the year?

i. didn't read very much this year at all. (er, published books! i did read a ton of fanfic). the beginning of this year was exTREMELY stressful, and in the latter half, all the books i started just. failed to grab me :/

that said!! i met my reading goal last year, so i will just include those!!

One of the books I did read this year was The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz, a v cute novella about a mechanic & an android. It's set a few centuries in the future, where robotics have advanced significantly. Intelligent AI were banned a long time ago, but those few whose bodies have not eroded / code hasn't corrupted are allowed to remain. The android in the fic runs a Tea Shop, which she inherited from her long-deceased lover <3 (The book is also sappic! I would love to read more of Katz's work.

Also, like I said, I reread The Last Unicorn, which I think would be on a top 5 in general for me, if I were ever to attempt to narrow that down xD. The prose in this book is beautiful; there are so many lovely lines. And the themes in the book--the play of mortality vs immortality, the structure of fairy tales & how the ppl in this setting are v much bound by them--are present from the very beginning, which was a fun thing to pick up on during my reread xD

All Systems Red by Martha Wells! I read a lot of sci-fi last year for some reason? Anyway, I adored this. Murderbot is a fascinating pov character & I love the choices Wells makes with it. My only gripe is that I could not immediately go out and buy the rest of the series.

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger!!! this was. so cute. It's YA, I think? Yes, okay, Storygraph confirms this. The writing is lovely, and I adore the main character and the story! One thing you see a lot of--or, actually, I guess I should say I see a lot of--in YA is like. The rebellion against authority figures? Parents are often antagonists, and I understand why this is, but it was very refreshing that in this book Elatsoe's parental/adult figures were so present & involved & like. There was this mutual respect between them that I adored. Also, she can talk to ghosts? And solves her cousin's murder by doing so! And she has a ghost dog. What's not to love?? (Oh, and she's ace, which I think I remember her mentioning explicitly! Also, the way Native culture is threaded through the book is just. Lovely.)

Am. Am I already at 5. How did. How did I get to 5 already 🥺 *kicks foot* Okay. I. Would not be me. If I didn't mention Nona the Ninth. The only reason I didn't rec the Locked Tomb series to you is bc you mentioned not wanting sci-fi, and while there are a lot of fantasy elements, it is. Very sci-fi. Anyway. I admit that I was not enthused about going into this book. Nona was originally going to be a novella, released between Harrow & Alecto, and when I heard it was getting full novel status I was. Kind of not happy. But oh my god. It was so good. The first half, or maybe even 2/3rds, of the book is very slice-of-life, with Nona going to school & planning her birthday party (despite being only 6mo old). You can tell there is more Plot happening, but Nona is v much oblivious and also being kept out of it. And then the last half/3rd is Plot-Plot-Plot. And my god. That ENDING. Alecto can't get here soon enough, I'm. I need it. I need it. OH. Okay, no, I was right when I said half bc this book is the first split POV, in that every other chapter / every couple chapters is narrated by Jod. (The God Emperor, John Gaius) while he tells his story. It was fascinating, I thought I would hate those chapters, but he is. Such a compelling antagonist, omg. Also there were more memes uwu. First book I ever annotated along with as I was reading, too!! I---

Stopping. Cutting myself off. Sorry; these books make me gush.

5. What genre did you read the most of?

Normally the answer to this is fantasy, but! I think Sci-Fi won out <3

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Yes! Both last year and this year I meant to read some of my spooky-ish books for October and did not. Specifically! I meant to read:

Carmilla & Laura by S.D. Simper -> I have so many of Simper's books on my kindle, but this one is a standalone, which I've been prioritizing so I don't go buy more books w/o reading the ones I have. This is a re-telling, which I was going to read with / around the copy of the original that I have.

Plain Bad Heroines - Emily M. Danforth -> I believe this is told in a dual timeline? After three people are killed at a girls' boarding school, it closes its doors. Over a century later, a bestselling book is written about the girls and inspires a horror-film adaptation, filmed on-site. And I'm just going to use the last line of the goodreads blurb, bc it makes me want to read it now: But as Brookhants opens its gates once again, and our three modern heroines arrive on set to begin filming, past and present become grimly entangled—or perhaps just grimly exploited—and soon it’s impossible to tell where the curse leaves off and Hollywood begins.

My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham -> One of the books I did start. I'm 9% in. It's a YA novel, also set at a boarding school. A group of girls accidentally summon an eldritch horror who promises to grant their every desire... for a price, which becomes steeper and steeper as time goes on.

The Lost Girls by Sonia Hartl -> Also YA! I got this one recently. A vampire turned by her boyfriend ends up falling for his latest victim, while plotting with his other exes to kill him.

There are a lot more I'm carrying into next year, but I am most disappointed in not getting to those!

Oh, and the Priory of the Orange Tree. (I'm. 20% through. This one is a Beast!!)

10. What was your favorite new release of the year?

I don't buy a lot of new releases for cost reasons---these days most of my books are purchased through ThriftBooks or eBook sales (I am subbed to a few sites which notify you of deals; my favorite of which is BookBub). However! I had Nona pre-ordered <3 So. Nona.

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

any of them.

going into the new year with only 2 books read last/this year makes me very sad 🥺

18. How many books did you buy?

i plead the fifth

also i have no clue

20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

gotta go with Nona. i was a weird mix of both unenthused (bc this was supposed to be kind of a side novella) and enthused (bc i love this series and i wish i could do what Tamsyn Muir does) but it not only met but surpassed my expectations. Nona was... Nona's identity was a core mystery of the book; she was, more or less, a brand new character who never showed up in the previous two books, so i was. skeptical of going in, let alone to her pov.

but.

it was so good.

i. already gushed about it. i'm not. i'm not going to do it again.

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

think i might be DNFing The Bookshop & the Barbarian. love the premise but i've noticed. a few issues in the text.

one i have def for sure DNF'd is Alma Katsu's The Deep. her books are horror + historical fiction. i finished The Hunger (which follows the Donner Party) but it was. very much a slog. i didn't like most of the characters, the horror was there but the reveal was lackluster to me. it got 3 stars tho bc it was very much a "this book isn't bad, just not for me" type of read? (there was an aspect i did like / even found kind of funny, but i--- hm. ig if you go in not knowing like, the names of the party members it would be a spoiler to say it, but otherwise i guess its... not a spoiler? idk??? i dunno, there was a subversion that i loved, but also i'm not super familiar with the specificities of the Donner Party so it may not have even been a subversion, if her telling was that accurate? i realize this is vague. apologies.)

The Deep is supposed to be abt the Titanic which. i love the Titanic, and i love ocean horror (it's a close second to arctic horror for me, and one day i want to find a book that scratches the same itch as The White Vault podcast does). but i realized early on that it wasn't a match for me, and i wish i had DNF'd The Hunger as well.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

my reading goals are the same every year---26 books. that's a book every other week! originally i used to set it to 52 but i've had too many bad reading years.

my secondary reading goal is to cut my TBR (of books i own) in half. i don't. i don't want to admit how many that is bc. just looking at the number on my kindle makes me feel bad.

#asks and answers #felinemotif #livvyreads #ask gaming

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit：The Vulgar Who Think Themselves Transcendent

In the last few days of June 2022, I saw a video on my phone. In it, a white American dad was trying to have a talk about sex with his son who was about to go out on a date. He felt that since his son was close to becoming an adult and going out on dates, this knowledge might be necessary. The discussion shocked the father when he realized his 10-year-old son knew far more about this topic than him. The boy used many new terms the father's generation had never heard of, such as "transgender," "intersex," and "gender equality." When they talked about sexual orientation, the boy said he had not determined his yet - because he was still underage.

Most people enslaved by modern education would think this boy was amazing for grasping so many new terms. But I don't see it that way - just as I never saw being able to speak many languages as praiseworthy. I only feel sad. To me, a child like this is no different from the North Korean children with tears in their eyes looking at the Kim Jong-un portrait. He was born in America, grew up watching Marvel movies and eating fries, so it's not surprising he has the most popular American values. But what does this demonstrate? It shows he has no real independent thinking. He wholly accepts everything the media has indoctrinated him with. This is another form of brainwashing - American style, Hollywood style. If he had been born in North Korea, I'm certain he would have grown up to be a Kim dynasty enthusiast.

I have always believed the most vulgar people are those who think they possess the most popular ideas. When your thoughts align with most people in this society, that is the vulgar. By most people, I don't just mean delivery riders, truck drivers, or supermarket cashiers. I mean university professors, film directors, intellectuals, and those social media figures you find so intelligent and reasonable, with millions of followers. They are the most misleading among the crowd. The education you received makes it easy for you to accept their ideas. Most of the time, your thinking is perfectly aligned with theirs. So when you saw the U.S. Supreme Court rule to overturn women's abortion rights on June 25, 2022, you were as indignant as them. This is the state of most modern elites. They think they have received the best education and hold the most progressive ideas, believing they have transcended the masses. But to me, this could mean they are more hopeless than ordinary people, bound by thicker ropes than those they look down upon, actually living in an even bigger and more intricate web of lies.

This is a vulgar that thinks itself transcendent. But it is still the vulgar. It is harder to detect than ordinary vulgarity and not easily changed. Many who fall into this pit never come out. Because this is now the most difficult to detect vulgar that has enslaved most elites.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on June 27, 2022. First published on July 1, 2022.

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灵山居士：自认脱俗的俗