#so i dont think id like answers but i do want them

[red-dyed-sarumane]

like i said before i genuinely dont think we're getting the fuu song any time soon i think its more likely we get more info on the past group first maybe more on the current group too but i wonder if the fuu song is going to be part of one of those groups or is going to introduce a new one. clearly theres a lot we're missing with the past & honestly if the new timeline theory is correct then that group seems pretty solid to me. theres space in places for more absolutely as in what exactly lead to the events in oumen, & between oumen & laboratory unless labo is the one getting her to do the sacrifice but thats. a theory i'll have to look into when im not so tired, & after apoptosis theres a wide variety of ways to handle the aftermath of that although i dont know if that would be given a direct perspective or just reflected on by a future group. & of course theres really space between any of the songs that from lack of context we just dont see its there (as is standard with this series). & the past group is only STARTING to come together in a whole picture theres so much left to fill in there. but the girl in shoushitsu is also clearly part of a group herself & its not in direct contact with the other groups we currently know. whoever we'll meet in fuu could be part of any of those 3 groups or even some 4th one. i can go read over the lyrics again but i'll be real with u understanding shoushitsu by itself is a task. genuinely dont know if understanding shoushitsu or ashura is worse. it all remains to be seen but i am wondering now

#aru sekai series #im sooooo normal about songs (<- lying) #i wonder if magu keeps all the details about this series in their head or if they keep notes somewhere #i would love to read over those notes #i would say id love answers but every answer i get with this series hurts me more #so i dont think id like answers but i do want them #i need to deep dive into this again i just dont know if im in the head space for it #bc i care about all these girls so much at this point it really really hurts to see how thoroughly theyre destroyed #like i gloss over it all the time yeah they die repeatedly it a tragedy but. ough. they way things are phrased #& the way things are framed. it does play with my emotions. it is NOT an easy series in ANY sense

[pet-cemetery-emotes]

unrealted but what does endo mean? /genq

Short hand for endogenic! Which usually means anyone who is plural for non trauma reasons! or who doesn't relate their plurality to trauma. if you don't know what plural means, there are a lot of definitions! I'd recommend googling around or talking to plural people, because i dont have good words today. plurality is often associated with DID, but that's not the only source or cause :) another common one is MADD (maladaptive daydreaming disorder) or immersive daydreaming!

take this with a grain of salt, though - people will often change their personal definitions of what it means to be plural or endo to exclude others. perhaps because of their own internalized ableism, or exerting control over their online spaces is the only control they readily get, or because picking on a subculture of a subculture means that their targets often won't be defended and they can get away with using them as stress toys. Similarly to queer infighting, and aphobia. Thumbs up emoji

#not emojis #it is often debated by people with DID in particular whether or not endos even exist #and i think. whether or not they do. anti-endos are pretty mean about it! their posts on it remind me of transmeds or aphobes. #i'd rather support people who later change their IDs or are wrong about themselves then people who bully them #been told both sides suck. i dont go into discourse. wouldnt know. but there are loud and mean people everywhere. #and the fact that people call it 'sides' when it's experiences... telling... #i prolly wont answer questions like this in the future #because i usually get hate mail afterwards! which is stressful or annoying depending on my mental state #i was not open about being plural for a long time because if you do it the “wrong way” or have unfinished or clumsy opinions #or ways of wording them... people wanna hurt you over it. #but anyone can ask me anything. <3 and i want to help. #so. risking it today. feeling brave/stupid i guess!

[youredreamingofroo]

if you read my last post, hello, this is my poll post i was talking about. If you havent read my last post, no worries, to sum it up, i am gonna be very off and on in terms of activity due to up and down depression 🙃🙃

but anyways, point is, i know i made a post like this before but i cant be arsed to check 1000+ posts for the poll. So here it is... again!

not putting sims 4 on the list because i cannot be arsed to play the sims 4 rn :)

#I dont know if sims 3 medieval can still be played but im SO down to play it if i can #before i stopped playing sims 2. i was doing a strangerville rotational save and i LOVED it #so id be down to do it i just dont know how down i am to go thru the process of redownloading sims 2... #the least likely game im looking forward to playing would be the sims 2 story games... never played them so idk- #-its not super interesting to me #I think Sims 1 would just be a side game #like I'd play and post. for example. mainly Sims 3 and then occasionally post Sims 1 stuff #the last option is sorta jokey. pick it if you want. but im just looking for an answer and tbf i probably would find a- #-way to implement Roo into my saves. whether its the main sim/heir (like in Sims 1) or a side character who just shows up- #-(like in a legacy or sumn) #anyways! lmk. im just trying to find something to do to combat my depression ig lmfao #yapping

[seithr]

unfortunately the allure of "at work i genuinely don't think that much and have no time or capacity to worry about home because i am fully mentally 'at work'" and "at work my family isnt there and i am not reminded of things happening in it by being asked about it by one of them or seeing them" and "at least i make money at work and am there often enough its a good amount and i feel useful lookibg at it" is really startibg to wear thin rifgt now

#i like not thinking i like being so caught in my sorting and doing a good job and helping people i dont feel the coldness settlibg in #i like not havibg sudden run ins i overthink later or being asked What Do You Think Haha in front of people id like to not air laundry to #people who respect me enough to wish well when im just a little bit not all there but dont want My Answer About It or My Assurance #i like not having to consider another job or parrttime searching again and scheduling both them at the same time #i like not thinking man but now im sfucking tired going too. when im cloxked in i turn all this off and i wish i could always be that way #helpful! im happy to help! im glad to. no worries no problem. thoughtful and useful and a joy if a little in need of guidance #the build up to therr. thinking about all of it alone on the way. always the sitting with it. the hours settling in #its wearing thin. something about it is. i think its only me. i wish i worked all the time so i wouldnt wind down back to all of this #everything here and reality going on and all the bad news and every bad memory and experience and incoming ache fffffuuck me man #im fine before anyone (noone) gets conc3rnened im just so tired. im so cold. nothing will come out. do i really need that as proof it hurts

[blueiight]

🙄 srsly ur not even gonna publicly defend ur friend when u know folks are completely misrepresenting the situation (and lbr some of that subset of fandom were just waiting to take her down a peg ever since she suddenly got popular). hiding in vague tags when u see people straight up lying abt her is so lame.

Yk i wasnt even gonna engage u or any of these other anons whove been screaming at me since 9 am my time yesterday accusing me of defending harassment or accusing me of being a ‘bad friend’. but ig i got time this morning n ur my springboard for answering them all. I Been Getting phil jackson level of racist troll anons calling me slurs calling for my own death too [which is hilarious lol real deal ppl tried to kill me n im pose to fold cuz anon #50 said die blueiight! like lol ok. at least say it behind ur real blog] & accusing me of being in some evil posse or like u accusing me of ‘not defending ppl’ enough bc i made a half assed delete tag post b4 going to clean up my lab yesterday that essentially said dont use a black woman’s untagged readmore that mentioned nobody as an excuse to harass a particular black woman under the pretext of ‘defending’ much less blame said individual’s emotions for other people’s cruel decisions to harass others. i might as well elaborate. situations where real people are harassed or being talked about require more maturity + thought than someone having a bad opinion on a fictional dynamic. this is not a matter of people's biases impacting their fictional analysis. these are people's biases against real life black women impacting real life black women [albeit on the internet but real ppl r behind these screens!], and i am a black woman myself. im not some 2 faced friend or some anon harasser im a real black woman. n to anyone reading: harassment is not caused by someone else being ‘protective’, online harassment is motivated by an individual/s cruelty. individual writers venting on their own blog r not responsible for anyone else’s feelings or someone else being cruel. u r responsible for as an individual for ur own feelings n ur own actions. no one is or should be so easily influenced by anyone's venting to the point of going to harass someone else. that is not how harassment works and that is wrongfully scapegoating. unless u have proof of someone’s ip or even some conjecture like typing styles to where yk the @s of anyone sent so n so (which ik none of u can pull up bc theres no proof of such) or w/e, ur just talking shit & being messy. u would think a shared interest woud make yall wanna act like u got some sense but yall wanna act like the teenagers u were never allowed to be in cliques over 2d yaoi. why r all u , even other black women, always so fucking weird to black women? willfully misinterpreting everything we say, tokenizing individual black women& attacking when that ‘token’ expresses any sort of feeling like i need all yall to go do sum bout yall selves and get the fuck for real. yall run black women out these fan spaces bc of ur parasitic relationship to their work, then wonder why everything is so white. its cuz the only fan creators u treat like human beings are older white ppl or fans of color that reinforce their views. i see right the fuck thru all yall.

#yn. #yn answers #im not sure what u want me to do that wont draw even more hatred toward ppl #cuz idgaf bout yall hating on me i just allude to the hate ive got so yall dont think im being a smug asshole lol #im reticient bc i dont want more hate that a real person is already getting to go her way. #theres a difference between me railing on bad takes & me defending a real human being whos getting hate from other authors who .. yea #i cant believe i even have to clarify this but i do #Yall just want me to fuel mess to see black women make complete fools of ourselves so u can say see thats why they cant be in fandom #w the they or the woke or w/e racially charged euphemism u have #not to mention most of these ppl have me blocked for w/e reason thats their prerogative so id essentially be talking to a brick wall? #like other ppl send me this shit i aint checking for them? stop sending me or anyone else shit about this #its envy cuz she got more kudos or w/e than them or disliking the tropes she used? #now ppl use this situation as pretext to call her 'problematic' to excuse their petty dislike #even in the fandom space.. they was never teenagers in cliques so they live that out as adults on the web #im glad i got banned from stores + got toe up rl so i wouldnt be sonso age doing <-

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE. #OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL. #and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart. #this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it. #because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

[lovphobic]

i was tagged by @nuclearstorms umm three weeks ago (oops) to do THIS uquiz for my ocs! thank u bestie mwah mwah mwah

i am not sure who to tag because ummm all of my oc mutuals either tag me in these or are tagged with me in these. so. um. if u have ocs and want to do this then i tag u :)

— 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞?

𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆 . . . 𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯

your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? is your fortress of ice self-made? are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. you will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.

𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕 . . . 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴

who are you without the company of others? you aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. you are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. it can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. you deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. you don’t have to be everything to everyone.

𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒅𝒚𝒔 . . . 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳, 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩

your chest is wide open, and your heart is a home. others are welcomed in readily and asked to stay. you are comfort and love, everything you were never given but so desperately want to provide for others. you have built this welcoming hearth with your own two hands and won’t see anyone else left out in the cold. be careful to not burn yourself out trying to keep everyone else warm.

𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒚𝒂 . . . 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯, 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

your heart has been torn before, chipped and maybe even shattered. some pieces will never be recovered, and you are shaped by the loss. but it can still be shaped into something tangible, something good, even with its flaws and imperfections. you don’t have to do all the work of rebuilding by yourself. allow other hands to leave their fingerprints on the new heart you create from the remnants.

#can i be so honest. i did this quiz for them when u tagged me. like minutes after. in the dermatologist waiting room #but im so glad i retook it. because now all of them have different answers. i think i was just trying to get it done that first go of it #to have something to do while i waited #i feel like. truthfully. personally. id switch valdys and thalya's results #like their results fit the other SO much better. so much more closely #but i will not forge the results. this is what they got! #THANK U AGAIN. SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG #i didnt really want to post this bc i was like. nobody give a shit about my ocs #bc i cant develop them well. ive never been terribly creative. #but i AM passionate about them. i just dont have a lot to say like u guys do #but i was like. ehh. fuck it. whatever #so here we are #oc: tag games

[semercury]

.

#stuff sarah says #everything is so complicated and i dont want to be alive #i dont want to die. i just dont want to be alive. theres a difference #like im fine. i wont do anything about it. just the heavy weight in my chest of wow i wish i didnt exist so bad rn #i hate people looking at me and drawing their own conclusions #and like. nothings happened. but people could start to hate me. they could. out of nowhere #and a lot of them would have a 'good' reason to. bc i dont know the answers #i dont know anything!!! i don't know what the right answer is but things feel off and wrong and i dont like it!!! #leave me alone dont look at me dont ask me my opinion dont look at me dont look at me dont look at me #im gonna go to my dr appt on monday and deal with the stupid mental health quiz and not know the answers #bc like yes i imagine what if i was dead a lot. im fine tho. its a normal thing for me #everybody just wishes they didnt exist. ive yet to meet someone who hasnt #have i lost interest in the things i used to enjoy or am i afraid something bad will happen if i do them? who's to say??? #and unfortunately i cant do the 'can we skip this im in therapy im fine' thing anymore bc im not in therapy anymore #and i get to say no im not finding a new one. you think im gonna open myself up like that to a stranger? #but yeah. i think id be better off if i ran away into the wilderness #ill keep a journal and when i inevitably die to the elements it can be published like that one guy #im so scared of everyone all the time. i dont want people seeing me anymore

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#Jesus. just finished my interview. no idea how it went #i think it was much too rambling on my part and they asked almost exclusively sciency questions #ugh hopefully i didn't look like a completle moron. the guy was sorta inscrutable so no idea what he thought #and he was like hmm whats ur competition here? and i dont give a fuck abt competition and also it doesnt really matter #fuck. i should have said. it would b fine if they were doing the exact same project bc we would b evolving different strains and it would b #interesting if they evolved even the exact same traits. fuck #i think objectively i probably looked like someone who halfway knows what theyre doing without the specific knowledge #which is exactly true. like mother fuckers ive got a full time job to be overworked in. i dont have time to memorize details of every #pathway change in every desert cyano #uuuuugh its just annoying bc my brain doesnt work well in the moment. i need time to process and knit together an answer #so i wouldnt b surprised if i was ranked low. oh god i was told the interview was prob a formality unless it goes terribly #itll b real embarrassing if i dont get passed this stage now #whatever it was a bit chaotic on their end too bc one guy didnt show up until halfway thru so i kinda had to go back and say things twice #uuuuuuuuuuggh. well that kinda sucked. at least its done. out of my hands now. #i was getting too excited abt it anyway. this will reaffirm my: obviously im not gonna get it vibes #i mean thats what i get for trying to join a very competitive program. like i am not a competitive person #rip to my lab mate who im gonna whine at all day abt this. i have to meet him in less than an hour #welp. there r other schools. god i hope at least one of them accepts me #ugh i just think its kinda annoying they they want u to be perfectly qualified for things lol. like i would need someone to step thru the #lab process with me literally once or twice and then id be good to go #like maybe a couple hours of someones time to remind me. thats it. humans r adaptable #i can obviously carry out a project to its conclusion and i have a lot of passion. not that they asked. but yeah #oh well. i should have breakfast before i freeze in the desert all day #unrelated

[doomednarrative]

isnt the mere fact that he's trying to "save the Riders/punish them/teach them a lesson" the hypocritical part of his mo? Like IDK about you, claiming to save people by beating them senseless seems hypocritical to me. And that is how I think that other anon said "it extends to his actions"

Like his motives and action should not mix.

Again, I don't think choosing to fight the others (not even considering the fact that They Are Also Fighting Him Too because they're all in the Desire Royale at that point in the story) makes him a hypocrite when he's not acting like he's better for doing so. He consistently paints himself as selfish and evil for what he's doing because he doesn't think he's better for doing it. He's just doing this to achieve his goals the only way he knows how to, and that's by being bullheaded and stubborn about it. He also knows by that point that Neon and Keiwa are not going to be talked out of chasing their own goals, so if he has to fight them to "save" them, that's what he'll do.

#like literally at this point what other option does he have #he knows if he takes their id cores they will be sent back to their normal lifes unharmed and with no memory of any of this #itll be like it never happened #and hes willing to live with being the bad one if it means they're out of harms way by doing so #i dont think that makes him a hypocrite because again hes not claiming to be better for doing so #hes just doing it because its the way he knows how to at this point #it is saving them in a way even if that way is thru violence #also! he literally does tell neon if she doesnt want to fight him not to touch her id core and bring her memories back #so clearly he wouldnt be fighting them if he didnt think he had to at this point #he was trying to keep her out of his line of fire there #ask #answered #kief watches kr geats #kamen rider geats

[elegyofthemoon]

In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.

When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.

One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.

Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.

The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.

There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.

❤

#answered #this was sitting in my inbox for a little while #and i wanted to answer properly but i fear that responding back is a little...hard #not that i dont want to its more like this was so prettily written and just so beautiful i fear if i responded id just ruin it lol #so im responding in the tags bc i feel better about doing that #i appreciate whoever decided to write all this up and leave it here for me it means a lot #more vent in the tag #not really vent but ig just reflective i suppose with the last week: #i think i may have actually talked about it before but you have no idea how happy i am with just. the people im surrounded with these days #because even if im going through something ill always push my feelings down in order to make someone else happy #because idc what happens to me overall. if i can make someone else happy thats all that matters #but ik a lot of people take advantage of it so when something bad happens when im unable to help someone they used to get mad at me for it #so more reasons to kinda push my feelings aside to cater to them etc etc etc #but i think the past week has been nice too in realizing that the people around me are patient and just overall kind -- not really expectin #much of me #ig theres this understanding that we all have busy lives now and maybe thats just the gift of maturity as a whole #even if im not the super positive or comforting presence people put me as at least people still care and thats how i know im loved at least #ig in a way this ramble is just a very big thank you to everyone for that #theres a lot of kindness and warmth in this ask that i appreciate and only want to spin back to friends. i hope they can feel it #or that it reaches them #anons #kind messages

[thecherrygod]

i am. making a mistake

#my posts #im. very depressed. in a bad state. and also ill and unsure if im actually becoming feverish. and its midnight #i. am struggling emotionally and with a class and with motivation and i guess im also underwhelmed #like i have. shit to do. and things id rather be doing. im doing none im just sitting there feeling useless #i. just told a classmate i didnt start my assignment at all yet not even read the material #and he said it makes sense you were a bit sick im sure youll feel better and be able to do it #and i told him that hes wrong bc i would have been able to at least read the material before getting sick #and that if i was doing okay i would still be in the same situation #i. i dont. think i should be having this conversation with him #i dont. know why im doing this. i want to kms #i mean he has talked to me once when he was struggling he broke the mental illness barrier but i dont think i should be passing it either #i feel like i should stop saying whatever the fuck i am saying idk why i started idk if its too late for that #editing my tags to ad more bc i dont want to make another postabout this #yes i made a mistake. idk how to reply without going further into the conversation #'you could do what you told me and do the text to speech thing you sometimes do when you struggle to focus' my guy. my man. i cant #idk what to tell him that isnt an 'i cant even start that i can only open the documents i cant do more than that' i made a mistake #idk how to lie my way out of this idk how to just say 'yeah i should do that' or something and thats it #i mean i guess i do want to have someone to tell them how im actually doing but i dont. think its the right thing to do #also i want to throw up and cry and die and if i knew where our thermometers were id check my temperature #yeah my brain is barely working so since i feel my options are actually answer or ask him to forget i asked #i am asking him to forget i asked #i do feel awful and stupid but i dont think actually replying is good and i dont have another way to do so

[floralovebot]

Ive seen a lot of ppl say that Musa was whitewashed by the Fate: Winx saga, but while I agree an east asian actress should have been chosen, the actress Elisha Applebaum is jewish. From what Ive read, its controversial whether jewish ppl inherently count as poc or not so im not sure if I would call it "whitewashing"

Well, I'm not sure I'm the best person to talk to about this considering I'm not Jewish?

But from what I do know, this is an extremely controversial topic (like you said) that really doesn't have any one answer. There are Jewish people who fully consider themselves to be white (and Jewish of course but like... white too), and there are Jewish people who consider themselves to be poc. I think it's important to remember that a lot of the "Jewish people aren't poc if they aren't black/asian/dark-skinned/etc" comes from antisemitism or anti-zionism. A lot of poc in the west specifically say this because of antisemitism so a lot of the arguments for it are... not great to say the least.

In regard to Elisha specifically, she's ethnically Jewish so I think you could argue that it doesn't count as whitewashing, but that's really up to Jewish people to discuss. It's obviously still wrong for her to have been cast as Musa, that's not up for discussion, but whether she considers herself white, whether Jewish people consider her white, whether non-Jewish people (goyim?) consider her white and how much of that response is linked to internal antisemitism is all very personal and case by case. I'm not sure if there's a specific term for when people sort of... race or ethnicity change a character of color to a different but still not white race so like...?

But anyway, again there is no One specific answer because there's so much discussion and outright arguing over it. A lot of Jewish people do consider themselves to be poc and often West Asian/Middle Eastern (depending on who you ask) but there are a lot of arguments among themselves as well. This discussion really should be left up to them!

It's funny you mention this because I was actually discussing this with a Jewish mutual years ago! Here are some really interesting articles (written by Jewish people (as far as I'm aware)) that I found really helpful at the time: one, two, three, and four. There were others but I can't find them now :(

(There's also the matter of people converting to Judaism which is a similar but ultimately very different conversation so I do want to clarify that I'm specifically referring to ethnically Jewish people.)

#tbh i do consider jewish people to be poc but that's also not my place to say #i didn't know elisha was jewish though! perhaps thats why they initially put her as asian in her acting bio/resume? #i remember it being like 1/4 singaporean but... idk it's been a minute since everything happened #also we still have no idea if that was even true or just like.. a rumor or something they put for what she Could pass as #anyway the reason i mentioned that mutual is because their response i think really highlights the divide in opinion #they had gotten an ask asking if jewish people counted as poc (thankfully being nice about it) #and they had responded that some are white and some are poc and they considered themselves white #and i had messaged them because i had thought all jewish people were considered poc while some were just white passing #ANYWAY the point is that this controversy affects them first and foremost so listening to jewish people is the most important thing here #but there are still differing opinions among jewish communities so as of rn youre not going to get a 'clear' answer #answered #if any actually jewish people wanna chime in thatd be really nice! no pressure obviously but i dont want to overstep yknow? #especially if anything i said was wrong! like dont worry about correcting me id love to hear it!!

[silverislander]

my graduation ceremony is at the end of the month and istg if i still don't have a job/any plan by then i'm going to be unreasonably upset

#i know its normal to not have a job straight out of school. i know that. #but 1. there are No jobs out there rn that will take me that im willing to work. there are none to even apply to #i applied to the v few i did feel ok abt and havent heard back. its been a month so im p sure i didnt get any of them #and 2. i dont want to explain 1 million times that yeah im still looking. no xyz didnt call me back. yeah i know i shouldnt worry etc etc #its humiliating #levi.txt #vent tw #i mean the massive gap between my situation and my little brothers is bad enough #i dont want to also have to explain it to literally every person whos coming over to celebrate #or answer questions abt whether ill go back to working min wage at the grocery store again #'yeah yk how everyone thinks arts degrees are useless? well about that!...' #i would feel like such a failure #also like. on a very basic level. i dont have much money to spend and its summer #id like to be able to go have some fun. go to the movies and the arcade sometimes. go to the ren faire #nothing crazy but like. its 5$ to get into the local pool yk? #i cant justify any of that if i dont have money coming in. im going to miss out on a lot if i cant get work #and i feel like a burden on my parents already #and the days are. so long. i do basically nothing all day. i hate it #the most exciting part of my week is if i get to leave the house for any reason

[sparkelingspectres]

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#god the suspense and guilt is just eating at me like a hamster to drywall i cant sleep #i dont want them to see this and yet I simultaneously really do #vecause on one hand i feel absolutely selfish for feeling like this #but if we're in a friendship that isnt mutually beneficial for everybody #i.e. them possibly feeling like they *have* to include me in things and telling me im their best friend when it isnt true which id imagine #would be hellishly draining for them to expirience this and attempt to force somethibg that isnt there #and in turn me feeling like im last picked. like they dont mean what they say and theyre only trying to prevent conflict and hurt feelings #by continuing to treat me as an equal in the group when i may not be #so like for real if my deelings are correct please do not hesitate to just tell me. #a friendship that isnt satisfactory to both parties benefits no one #i personally love being friends as we all are but something just doesnt feel quite natural anymore. like theyre forcing themselves #and i would just like to know where i stand so things can be adjusted accordingly #i promise i wouldnt be mad or hold it against anyone or think any less of anyone if this was the case #i would just like to have an honest civil discussion privately if there was anything to discuss so that things could just be resolved #because ive veen feeling thus off and on for months and its killing i just want to know #and im perfectly fine and prepared to possibly hear an answer i don't like but i just want this feeling to be alleviated one way or another #so just tell me the truth un-sugarcoated i dont like feeling like im trapping everyone in something they arent invested it #id rather hear them tell me they all want to spend less time with me or possibly even drift away from the friendship altogether #than be just dragged on along on every occasion we hang out like an annoying sibling they were forced to bring #yknow? #anyways im just venting and ranting about my wacked out feelings who knows if any of this is true or not #but if it is even in the slightest please just talk to me<3 it would be better in the long run for all involved #vent

[gifti3]

Can demons experience the horrors?

#actually this has nothing to do with what i wanted to talk about #i have some ideas for the analog horror obey me thing i brought up for a second #i drew rough drafts #i dont really think its scary like how mandela catalogue is #or genesis #i think im leaning more towards the surrealist feelings u get from them #so id have to like draw more “realistic” #and come up with answers to stuff obey me never really questions since its supposed to be lighthearted #i got some stuff for belphie written down too #idk im just talking #i hope if i really delve into this seriously #it gives off the energy that i want it too #i mostly draw silly and cute stuff so its new territory