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azsazz · 2 months

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Dead by Dawn (Part 16)

Azriel x Cassian x Reader

Summary: Zombie!AU: It’s been a while since the end of the world.

Warnings: Blood, gore, injury, graphic depictions of violence, poly!relationship, slow burn, undead, death,

Word Count: 3,157

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15)

Notes: okay i forced myself to finish this part so it's a little shitty and not at all edited.

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Day 195 Part 2

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The forest goes completely still.

There are no moanings of zombies in the distance, no rustling of leaves on the trees. Even the wind has silenced with your words.

Surprise shocks the group around you. Nesta’s eyes narrow into a piercing glare. The untrust is clear in the way that she readjusts the knife in her hand, and Azriel shifts next to you, his intention to block her path to you should she lunge. Cassian looks like he could growl.

The man at her side flicks his russet gaze to his lover, a frown of concern on his face. He looks like he’s ready to step in front of her as well, but if you know her from any of the stories Feyre had told you, she’s much too stubborn to allow that to happen.

Her eyes are cold and calculating as they flick back and forth between yours, staring you down.

The zombie that they must have been taunting suddenly lurches from behind a large oak and you gasp a little, but Nesta doesn’t do so much as flinch. Instead, she keeps those sharp eyes pinned on you, Azriel, and Cassian while her companion turns to take care of the undead being stumbling behind them. It’s missing both of its eyes, a thick slash leaking black blood across its forehead and into its unseeing sockets. The smell that follows it has your stomach churning, your quick snack from earlier threatening to make a reappearance.

It’s kind of incredible, watching how easily the copper haired man slays the zombie, all while Nesta guards him from the three of you. She has the utmost confidence in him, that he will keep her safe, and she doesn’t need to turn away from who may potentially be the bigger threat, whether she knows it or not.

The man kills the zombie with ease. One quick jab of his knife into the base of its skull has the undead falling limp to the forest floor with a crunch that you’ll never get used to. The man grimaces a little when he wipes his knife clean on the calf of his pants, then returns to Nesta’s side, awaiting her lead.

No one speaks, and it’s a little unnerving. The sun has already started its descent into night, and there isn’t going to be much time for you, Azriel, and Cassian to find shelter for the night if things here don’t go well. Nesta had mentioned something about the middle sister, Elain, but you don’t hear a thing, so she must not be around. Is she with others? Have Feyre and Rhysand made it to Eryef before you?

“Right?” you blurt, because no one’s speaking. “You’re Feyre’s older sister. Have they made it to you?”

“They?” Nesta questions and you deflate, knowing that they haven’t.

Cassian places his free hand on your shoulder in reassurance.

“Who are you?” the man next to her asks, and you watch his gaze dart to where the sun hangs low in the sky. He doesn’t seem to tense at its position, so you glean that wherever they’ve taken shelter must be close. No one wants to be caught out here after nightfall if they can help it.

“I’m (Y/N),” you offer and gesture to the men with you. “And this is Azriel and Cassian. I’ve been traveling with Feyre for a while now, and we joined forces with these two and their friend, Rhysand.”

“Then where is she?” Nesta bites and you want to flinch, to duck away from the accusation lining her tone. It is your fault that your group has split up now, that you’re too far away for the walkie talkies to work.

Neither you, Cassian, nor Azriel have an answer for her.

“She’s with our friend,” Cassian tries to console, because Azriel’s gritting his teeth so hard you think they might crack. He’s in a defensive position, and doesn’t like the way that Nesta is speaking to any of you. “They went back to our van but we couldn’t stay in the house we found because it was…infested. We left a note telling them where we went, and if they follow that, they’ll find your directions pointing to Eryef. When they get close enough, we can contact them on the walkies but as of this afternoon, they’re still out of range.”

“Rule number one of the fucking zombie apocalypse,” Nesta spits, “Don’t split up.”

You swallow roughly, fighting the pricking stinging your eyes. You know this and yet you’d been so stupid. The three of you should’ve waited for them to come find you, surely you could’ve survived in that house a few more hours—

You gag at the thought, turning away from the group. Cassian moves a few paces away with you, leaving Azriel to deal with Feyre’s sister and her counterpart as he tends to you. It makes something warm in your belly, the way that they fall back so easily into their roles; Azriel the menacing force, Cassian the caring charmer.

“You okay?” Cassian murmurs, his hand warm as he rubs your back. He keeps glancing over his shoulder, weary of the newcomers and how Azriel is going to handle them. He’s not very trusting, and everyone’s about to find that out the longer he’s left alone with them.

“Yeah,” you breathe, wiping your mouth. Nothing had come up but the motion seemed necessary. “I’m fine.”

He’s not all too sure that you’re fine but he ushers you back over to the rest of the group when you seem steady enough. He’ll ask you again later, when you find some privacy.

The group opposite you watches as you return. Azriel’s harsh stare keeps them from asking any questions.

“Where is Eryef?” Azriel asks simply. Nesta blinks.

“Why should we tell you, when you don’t even have my sister with you?” she asks, raising a brow. A flicker of emotion crosses through her pale blue eyes but you can’t make out what it is.

“Surely you didn’t think painting a sign with the name of your safe haven would go unnoticed by everyone besides Feyre,” Cassian adds. “Do you turn away all of those who come seeking help?”

Her eyes narrow once again but it's her companion who answers the question.

“No one has tracked us down before.”

You share a look with your men. It’s not unusual to not have run into many humans out here…at least trustworthy humans. Maybe they’d run into the same problems as your little group, meeting those who wanted to kill. Or maybe their camp is so well hidden that no one really takes notice of it at all.

“Well, now you’ve got us,” Azriel states, “And we know Feyre, have a way of communicating with her should they be in range, so you either show us to Eryef or tell us to leave, because the sun is setting fast.”

The authority in his tone has you shifting on your feet, warmth dancing in your veins. Where this attitude of his had been an annoyance to you when you first met Azriel, now that it’s directed at someone other than you, it’s kind of hot. It also makes your stomach swoop when he speaks like this to you and Cassian during the intimate moments you share.

The copper haired man makes the decision for the both of them, in what seems to be much to Nesta’s dismay.

“You can come with us to Eryef, but if Feyre and your little friend don’t show within two days time, you’re out.”

And yeah, that seems fair enough.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•

Eryef isn’t just a house, it’s a mansion.

Located within the confines of a gated community, you’re not sure you would’ve been able to miss something like this had you and your men come across it. The large, gold gates keep others out while expressing just how much money went into doing so. The streets are lined with brick, some loose in areas from lack of keep up during the apocalypse. They’d make for great weapons, should you need any, and it was smart thinking on Nesta and her companions' part, you think.

Inside of the gate house is a zombie who bangs on the window when you pass. Nesta hadn’t warned you about it, and since you’re traveling in the front of the group so that the two can keep their eyes on you, you startle, stumbling over your feet.

Azriel steadies you with a hand around your bicep, giving you a gentle squeeze to which you nod in response, letting him know that you’re okay. He shoots a sour look over his shoulder but Nesta is as stoney face as ever.

“We kept him alive in case anyone tried coming this way,” she explains, slipping through the gate, her hand tucked in her companions for help. He takes on the role of shutting the gate behind him and securing it with a padlock and thick chain. “Showing them that this place is as infested as the others will keep wanderers away.”

“Is this place infested?” Cassian asks, checking your surroundings as you all walk, the scraping of the zombie in the gate house getting softer as you move through the streets.

“There used to be a lot more,” is all Nesta says, taking the lead. She tosses over her shoulder, “But keep an eye out, just in case.”

“We spent some time trying to corral the monsters,” the man with the freckles explains. He seems a little more open to your presence, and you’re not sure if it’s because of the front Nesta is putting up or if he’s trying to get on your good side for an eventual backstab. “Cut off the arms of some, jaws of others,” he grimaces and your stomach churns. You slow your pace, not liking what you’re hearing. “The ones roaming around inside shouldn’t be able to harm you, but it’s not a guarantee.”

So instead of killing the zombies infesting this once pristine neighborhood, they’ve mutilated them further? The thought makes you sick. You’ve seen some things since the end of the world, been through worse, but this…this is new.

“What’s your name?” you ask softly. You don’t have the highest hopes that he will answer.

His russet eyes soften as he answers you. “Eris.”

“Nice to meet you, Eris,” you offer a gentle smile. “I’m (Y/N), and this is Cassian, and Azriel.”

Said men keep you tucked between them as you follow Nesta and Eris to wherever they’re staying. You let your eyes wander across the houses you pass. It’s like the world has gone frozen around you. There is no movement inside, no sign of distress from any of the homes in the community.

You wonder if any of them had been like the situation you found at the last house you thought was safe. The family trapped in the basement.

You feel a bit queasy as you think of what happened down there, the horrors you saw when you opened that safe room.

You shove the thought from your mind the deeper you wander, down roads of loose brick. The houses only become bigger and bigger, looming over the streets. Some of them are even surrounded by their own fences, though this doesn’t seem like the kind of place one would be wary of their neighbors, only about the money they’d once been drowning in.

Now, you see the fence around the houses as a second line of defense.

You pray that Feyre and Rhysand make it here safe, because if you can add to your group, get them to trust you enough to let you stay, you think one of these properties could be the place where Cassian might be able to start his garden.

You can tell that he’s thinking the same thing because of how bright his hazel eyes are. He’s alert and drinking in everything that he can, and you can see the gears turning in his head as he envisions his own paradise, his own place where he can keep you and Azriel safe. His gaze is warm when they settle on you and a smile tugs the corner of his lips.

The thought sends butterflies off in your stomach. Enjoying the warm feeling, you delve into better thoughts while following along. You’re so lost in your head that you hardly even notice the group coming up to what you think is the biggest house you’ve ever seen.

Craning your neck back, you take in the large, forest green house. There are columns of wood on the expansive porch, wrapping around the side of the mansion. There are a few rocking chairs creaking softly with the wind, and it looks picturesque, the thought of sitting out there with a warm cup of coffee on an autumn day, Azriel on one side of you with Cassian on the other—

“Welcome to the Woodland House,” Eris says, unlocking the door with a set of keys. You suppose it’s not uncommon to have a set of keys for a mega mansion in the middle of the apocalypse, but you do wonder where he found them…if they were sitting out on the counter or if he took them from a zombie's pocket.

You follow the pair inside. It’s like entering another world. Despite the home's large nature, the inside is warm and welcoming, so different from what the world has come to.It makes your chest ache.

The furniture is oversized and cozy, mis-matched pieces that make the entire space look lived in. There’s a stocked fireplace in the living room with a large woodpile beside it, ready for the long winter.

“We’ll speak more after dinner,” Eris tells you when his tour comes to an end. Nesta had darted off up the stairs while Eris offered to show you around. Nesta had thrown over her shoulder that it was pointless to do so because you will be gone if her sister doesn’t show up, but Eris only rolled his eyes in response. “This is where you’ll be staying for the next few nights.”

You brace yourself as he opens the door to the basement of the house. You tense a little as you stare down the stairs, brought back to the last scene of the large home you’d been in the basement of. Eris must mistake it for something else because he’s quick to continue. “I know how it must look, but you’re still intruders in our home and we must be careful. If I could put you somewhere else I would,” he promises. “When Feyre returns to her sisters we can give you something that better suits your needs.”

“It’s alright,” Cassian answers, his thick hand falling to the small of your back in a comforting motion. You release the air caught in your lungs and follow Azriel down the stairs. “Thank you for your generosity, Eris.”

He smiles, looking pleased. “Of course. Dinner will be in one hour. See you then.”

He shuts the door softly behind you and you’re tense, waiting for the click of a lock, trapping you inside, but it never comes.

Your shoulders droop with relief. Cassian is already halfway down the stairs by the time you and Azriel have shared a look and turn to follow.

“Holy shit,” Cassian breathes, “This place is fucking insane.”

It is. It’s a fully furnished space and it’s the size of another house. You almost don’t want to step off of the last stair into the carpeted cream carpets with your dusty shoes. It looks so soft you think if you lay down you’d be asleep within minutes.

There would be no need to do that, though, because in the middle of the room sits two large sofas that look like clouds. There’s a large screen and projector for movies and if this place had power it would be the place everyone would hang out at. You just know it.

Exploring further, drinking in its luxury. There are two bedrooms and an office, all fitted with pristine furniture and so clean that it feels like there’s no apocalypse happening outside of these walls.

It seems like Nesta and Eris have been here since the beginning, unless they’d managed to take over this mega-mansion and keep it from being looted, defended, and stocked. You suddenly wonder if there are more to their party.

It’s a safe haven, if Feyre and Rhys can make it here.

On a whim, you find yourself digging through drawers and searching through offices, the bedrooms, trying to find anything you can for an insight on what is going on here. Who owned this house? Where are the signs of humans?

You pull open one of the closets, shoving the winter coats out of the way but also taking note of them for when the summer winds down and the winter sets in. You’ll need warmth, especially if they don’t allow you to stay. You’ll have to speak with Cassian and Azriel about what you’re all going to do, how you’ll manage to get away with some extra necessities.

Getting down on your hands and knees you crawl further into the space when your gaze snags on a cardboard box shoved as far into the corner as it can. You drag it out, sitting back on your haunches, ripping open the flaps.

It’s memorabilia from what seems like another life.Trophies and sports ribbons, a signed baseball. There’s an old science project, a replica of the planets in space.

Digging further, your fingers brush a picture frame and you pull it out, examining the family. It was taken in the great room upstairs, the loving parents behind their seven smiling sons. One is getting his ear pinched by the father, a twist of pain on his face and you frown eyes moving up to the culprit, the vile person who could treat their son this way—

Beron.

You’d recognize the face of the man who wanted to eat you anyday.

The frame falls from your grasp with a crash.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” Cassian asks urgently, as both of the men dart to your sides. Bile sits high in your throat and your breathing is short, shallow because you’re under the roof of what is his home. “Sweetheart?”

You can’t speak. Your heart races in your chest and your hands tremble even when Cassian pulls them into his strong, reassuring grip.

Azriel shoves the fallen frame away from the photo that’s loose, glass clinking loudly throughout the basement. He stands, staring at the picture, his fingers clenched so tightly at its corners that it begins to crumple under his unbridled rage.

You squeeze your eyes shut as Azriel shows the photograph to Cassian. You can’t look at it again, can’t see those hateful eyes staring back at you, taunting you—

“Oh, fuck.”

Oh, fuck indeed.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

DBD Taglist: @writingsbychlo@kemillyfreitas@5moremin@dream-alittlebiggerdarling@waggel36 @bionic-donut@queserasera @applepie02 @azrielsbabyg @arcadianmoonlight @pradaxstyles @illyrian-dreamer@reiincarnatiion @fuckthatfeeling @shadowsingersmate24@poppyalice2001 @fallmyriad @sstrohma @tcris2020@jeannineee @21stcenturytaegi@ochiolism@secretly-here@harrystylesfan2686@i-am-infinite

#dead by dawn #acotar #azsazz #acomaf #acowar #azriel x cassian x reader #acotar zombie au #azriel x reader #cassian x reader

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makeyoumine69 · 1 year

Text

Starboy

● PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

● SUMMARY: When on one day Mr. Bateman came to your office, you never knew how far it could go.

● WARNINGS: Implied flirt, seduction, small innocent touches, sweet-talker Patrick Bateman himself, minor possessive behaviour.

● WORDCOUNT: 2.6k

● A/N: One more prequel about Patrick and his little Cupcake, I enjoy writing their backstory so much! Btw, I was inspired by this American Psycho edit. As always, I hope you like this chapter!💕

● SONG REC: The Weeknd - Starboy✨

● LINKS: [Sweet like a Cupcake Masterlist] [Main Masterlist]

The days after that “little accident” with Mr. Bateman felt like a horrible nightmare.

You were constantly thinking about losing your job, strolling around your office and watching the sun's rays breaking through the window. What if you just stayed silent and let him ground you into the dirt, soaking up all the shit he was saying–would your boss be satisfied with you then?

The click of the door opening caught your attention before Cindy’s sonorous voice reached your ear. “(Y/N), we should go get coffee! Our favorite barista finally came back. Woohoo, no more shitty coffee!”

With a dull smile on your face, you tapped the papers on your desk. “I need to finish this by the afternoon.” You looked over the documents again, and then sighed. “Just go without me.”

She whined, disappointment clear in her voice, and when you looked at her, she was already standing in the doorway, checking the time on her watch. “I’ll just rush, so our coffee won’t get cold. Do you want a latte or cappuccino?”

“Dealer’s choice,” you chuckled and took your place at the deck. “Just… Don't spill it… Okay?”

“Alright, alright…”

Then she walked away, leaving you alone in your office again. Back to work.

Leafing through the documents was a kind of meditation for you–it helped soothe your mind, distracting you from obsessive thoughts.

Your edits were quick, slashing across the page, adding notes in the margin with a well-loved red pen. The door opened again. “What did you forget this time?” you asked, not looking up. “Cindy, could you also bring me a cupcake–”

“Good afternoon.” A familiar, tenor voice caused your whole body to taut like a string. You knew who it was before you even looked up.

Ever hauntingly perfect, Patrick Bateman was standing in the doorway, casting a studying glance at you. You stood up abruptly, anticipating nothing but the worst. He might really be so vindictive to come in person with your termination notice.

“(Y/N), isn’t it?” he asked smoothly, closing the door behind him.

“Yes, that’s me,” you replied, attempting to sound as confident as you could. “How can I help you, sir?”

“First, call me Patrick,” he gave you his most cocky snow-white smile, roaming around your office and getting closer to your desk. “And please, relax. I’m not here to fire you.”

The corners of your mouth twitched slightly, but that didn’t really ease the tension. His presence here was making you feel weirdly thrilled.

"As you wish, sir, but I’m afraid that a first-name basis breaks the subordination rules of our company,” you pressed the pen against the tabletop, leaning a bit on your other hand. “Penalties are strictly enforced for things like that.”

Amused, Bateman was standing in front of your table, so the smell of his cologne easily hit your nose. “Our previous meeting was… Well, it was horrible as hell,” he said, watching you nervously rap the pen. “I just want to apologize, and I hope you’ll let me take you to lunch, at least.”

With a sharp click, your pen flew away in an unknown direction, but you just ignored that, continuing to act naturally. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I usually don’t have time to eat, 'cause I’m pretty busy and–” you stammered a bit as only now you noticed you were looking into each other's eyes for over thirty seconds straight.

“‘And’?”

“My boss won’t be happy if I don’t have these reviews done by–”

“Wait a second.” Patrick held up a finger to stop you before he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m your boss, sweetie.”

Gulping, you had no choice but to turn your face into a friendly expression and grin politely. “With all respect, sir, you’re the boss of my boss. And, I really need to finish these.”

Patrick huffed as he stared at you, his hazel eyes spinning with green and brown, until they were a hypnotizing spiral that sucked you in. “Okay, I think I get it.” He shook his head, smirking all the time from how timidly you were batting your eyelashes. “Now listen (Y/N), in two hours I will be at Four Seasons, the one down here,” he quickly checked his Rolex, and then glanced at you again. “I’ll be waiting for you there. Don’t be late.”

As if he didn’t want to give you a chance to refuse, Bateman turned around and left your office. The silence filled up your ears after the door closed. Your chest was rising and falling so quickly; you couldn’t really believe what just happened. Biting your lower lip, you thoughtfully slid your hand against the tabletop–a creeping panic was growing in your gut, making it hard for you to breathe.

When Cindy returned fifteen minutes later, you didn’t say even a word about what had happened just before she came back, because it would sound completely absurd. And considering her previous reaction to what you told her about Mr. Bateman, she would probably burn with envy. But there was one more problem–how to sneak out from the office without anyone asking questions?

“Erm, Cindy…I’m going on a quick break,” you mumbled as you got up to grab your coat.

“Wait, wait! Where are you going?”

“It’s nothing interesting,” smiling sheepishly, you wrapped a woolen scarf around your neck. “Oh, did I thank you for the coffee? It was really nice!”

“Hey! Stop messing around!” she protested, standing up from her seat, with arms crossed. “You usually don’t go anywhere for ‘breaks’!”

Sighing, you took your bag and glanced at your watch. Plenty of time. “I’ll tell you when I get back, okay?” a small bluff wouldn't be an issue–you concluded, watching Cindy sadly pouting. “One of our colleagues asked me for lunch, that’s all, you know. Nothing special…”

“And who’s this cutie pie? Ah, don’t tell me, I think I know who it is!” She clapped her hands, and her voice trilled with excitement. “If you say that it’s that nerd from our computer department, I’m gonna die!”

Humming, you gave yourself a few seconds to think before replying: “Yes, it’s him.”

“Eeeee!” she giggled, shushing herself with a palm. “Oh, my gosh, poor ‘Romeo’ finally made a step!”

“Yeah, yeah,” you chided, holding out your hands to soothe her. “I don’t have much time, and I still need to find the place where we’re having lunch. So, see you later… Oh, and Cindy, if the boss calls, please tell her I’m out for some office supplies.”

On that bright note, you left your office, with mysterious excitement.

It was your first time at Four Seasons, though you heard a lot of positive reviews about this place from the top management of P & P. Once you made just one step inside the restaurant, you met at least three or four good-looking females, all dressed with expensive clothes and jewelry. After a quick examination of yourself, you had to admit—your office uniform was looking unsuitable for this kind of an establishment, but who would care? If one arrogant snob didn’t force you to come here, all restaurant visitors wouldn't have to suffer from your “super luxury look”—you giggled sarcastically to yourself before you approached the maître d' — a young blond lady with a very deep neckline. As soon as she noticed you, she gave you a suspiciously friendly smile and greeted you:

“Good afternoon, Miss and welcome to the Four Seasons. My name is Veronica. How can I help you?”

“Oh, hello!” you smiled back. “There should be a reservation under Mr. Bateman.”

The last words you said made her face change literally before your eyes and now it was not as friendly as one minute ago. “Let me check please,” she was sorting through the pages of the logbook, looking at you from time to time from under her long lashes. “Please, follow me.”

The closer you were getting to the table, the more you felt an uprising fear in your chest and you couldn’t really understand what was really scaring you that much: him, this fancy place, or all of these things together. Wrapped in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice you had already reached the place as the maître d' extended her hand, inviting you to take the seat just across from Patrick, who at that moment was studying the menu, with his face half covered by it.

“Have a good time!” The blonde glanced at you contemptuously for the last time before she strolled away.

“Thanks…” You replied to no one, nervously undoing your scarf.

“Glad to see you again, sit down.” Bateman murmured, putting the menu aside, his brown eyes were exploring your frame like a scanner.

“I hope I am not late.”

“No, you are just in time,” he smirked as you finally sat in front of him, your hands nervously fixing the sleeves of your white blouse. “What do you usually prefer to drink? Tea, water, maybe coffee?”

“I had enough coffee today, but thank you,” you looked at him more confidently, as your strategy for this lunch was pretty simple–be nice, friendly, and polite. “This place is so lovely!”

“You think so?”

“Uh, yes. Well, I’m not the type of person who goes on lunch to such places,” you paused as you noticed how attentively he was listening to you, raising his right eyebrow. “So, I don't know what to compare it to, but this one looks exquisite.”

You heard him chuckling softly before Bateman took a sip of his whiskey, pointing at the menu with his stare. “Choose what you want to eat.”

With a warm grin on your face, you took the menu but once you saw the prices–you felt your hair standing on edge. “You know, I’m not really hungry.”

“Stop pretending, sweetie,” damn, did he call you like that again? “If you were not hungry you wouldn’t ask your friend to bring you a cupcake, right?”

Stunned by his sudden trick, you hid behind the menu for a second to reflect on what to answer him back. “You have a significant memory, Mr. Bateman.”

“It’s Patrick,” he smiled at you flirtatiously while his piercing gaze seemed trying to catch any little weaknesses of yours. “As you should know, my type of work requires such things.”

“Of course.” You nodded.

“And… I really prefer you to call me Patrick, but on the other hand, the way you say ‘Mr. Bateman’ sounds kinda hot.”

You nearly let out a nervous laugh but you held back yourself as you gave him a confused look.

Unlike you, Bateman couldn’t help but snigger at your reaction. “Relax, silly. I’m joking.”

“That's what I thought…” You were acting as if nothing happened, desperately trying to suppress an unknown frisson inside your body.

Then, a tall dark-haired waiter got your attention as he came across your table, with a notebook in his hands. “Are you ready to order, sir?”

“Beef Steak with Grilled Vegetables and Sweet Potatoes,” Patrick pointed with a finger, forcing his golden Rolex to wiggle on his wrist. “(Y/N), did you make your choice?”

“To be honest, I’d rather eat something sweet,” you glimpsed at the waiter with hope, because you didn’t even see the dessert menu. “Maybe you can recommend something to me?”

“We have amazing cheesecakes and tiramisu-”

“A dessert for lunch?” Bateman asked in surprise, cutting off the waiter and leaving you a bit embarrassed. “I think Sweet Pea and Tuna Salad sounds better,” he waited for the busboy to take away the menu and then added: “It’s healthier, and it tastes delicious. You are gonna like it.”

Confused, you watched the waiter walking away when you suddenly blurted out: “Actually, you could make an order without asking-”

“I could, but I wanted to give you a chance,” the way he kept interrupting everyone was really pissing you off. “So, how long have you been working in our company? Cause I can’t really remember you,” frowning a bit, he leaned on the back of his chair. “You must be a new one?”

With a cunning smirk, you took a glass of mineral water that was already standing on the table. “Well, you can say that,” you smiled again before continuing: “I’ve been working as an accountant in Pierce & Pierce for two years already.”

Satisfied with how awkward he was looking right now, you made a victorious sip of water, waiting for his next step.

“Two years… Huh, that’s a lot!”

“Yes, but it’s fine we never met,” you stated, meeting his languid gaze more decisively. “Usually, top management doesn’t see any of its workers and it’s okay.”

Bateman nodded, humming something to himself as if the puzzle inside his head finally completed. “Mm-hm, I hope you’re happy with your job and you don’t feel overworked.”

Was it some kind of test? As much as you wanted to lament about all of your grievances, you couldn’t take any risks–how could you even trust the guy who first antagonized you and then asked you out for lunch… in Four Fucking Seasons. That was so weird.

“I love everything about my work. But of course, it’s not perfect but nowhere is.” You replied confidently.

“Don’t you mind if I smoke?” Before Bateman asked, he was already having a cigar in his hand.

Even if you did, what would you say?

“Go on.”

And then you suddenly lost it, as you watched him lighting his cigar after your words, and you could swear to God–never in your life, you saw a man who was smoking sexier than that. Mesmerized, you couldn't take your eyes off of his beautiful features, especially his ideal cheekbones, which looked so sharp–you thought you could cut yourself if you touch them… Touch them?

Meanwhile, Patrick was definitely rambling about something, but you could only see how his perfectly shaped lips curled whenever he was speaking, and damn… His side profile seemed to be forged by a sculptor, as you didn’t really have any other explanations for how this man could be so fine… Wait, what were you even thinking?

“(Y/N), are you listening?” His concerned voice took you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, yes… Sorry! I just remembered about my report, which I should finish today and-”

“So, you’re really overworked if you can’t even stop thinking about your job while being here with me.”

Did he sound really offended, or it was just your slightly clouded mind–you couldn’t really find an answer as he added:

“Maybe I should speak with your boss about this?” he puffed on his cigar, giving you a challenging glance. “And guess what? I think we should have dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“That’s exactly what I said,” smirking, Bateman blew some smoke rings, his dark eyes glowing with excitement. “Dinner, where we can chill a bit and have a proper conversation. Not like this.”

Just as you were about to reply, the waiter brought your meals, how unfortunate–you thought before taking a napkin, and of course, you touched his palm because Patrick was doing just the same thing. As if you were in some romance movie, you took your hand away like from fire, but that only spurred him to catch your palm again, stroking it nearly notably, and somehow, this time you didn’t even make a move—you only gasped. Rising your eyes on him, you could only see a devilish grin of satisfaction on his face and there was nothing really left for you to do, rather than ask yourself if that was really happening.

#american psycho #patrick bateman x reader #patrick bateman imagine #patrick bateman #patrick bateman x female reader #patrick bateman x you #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x you #slasher smut #patrick bateman smut #patrick bateman headcanon #christian bale smut #christian bale x reader

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stealingyourbones · 8 months

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Bones Discord Shenanigans Pt 1

Welcome! I make many funky fresh ideas with pals that I have no idea how to translate into prompts or just funny shenanigans that I wish to share with y'all. All writing of others is posted with their permission.

@spite-sapphic-starlight in Pink. (Kate) @stealingyourbones in Black. @precarious-hermit (mentioned.) (Mellan)

Subsection 1: Mellan RESPOND

mellan read my hilarious funky fresh prompt idea you fool. i think it's super funky fresh Thank u kate I love u sm. Mellan we should sire a child and ask our children their opinion on this prompt. ------

Subsection 2: Paulina and Tim meet on Superhero Forums Prompt

Paulina and Tim are old friends, they met on super hero forums.

Oh fucking absolutely. Tim fangirls over Robin, Paulina fangirls over Inviso-Bill.

They share fancam tips.

Oh my god yes.

beta read eachother's shit.

Tim is so rich but he still uses a shitty free phone app to edit his fancams.

of course.

Paulina never knows that this bitch is Red Robin. she DOES know that this fucker hasn't responded to her beta request on the new chapter of her 120k Inviso-Bill/Reader friends-to-lovers fic and she needs to know what's up.

LMAO she hunts him DOWN.

she shows up with the ecto lipstick and is like BITCH WHY HAVENT YOU RESPONDED TO MY DMS ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS (said in VC: she's like, bRO I HAVE A SCHEDULE. I POST EVERY OTHER SATURDAY. RESPOND BITCH) "I don't give a fuck if you're jumping across rooftops, answer my fucking messages."

genuinely doesn't care that he's a hero, just that he isn't betaing her stuff like he used to.

"How did this tiny latina woman get into the batcave???" "just--- don't question it."

she sends him super cringe Red Robin slash fics when she's pissed that he hasn't responded faster.

YES she sends him red robin nsfw stuff to make his eyes bleed.

don't fuck with angry latino women. Batman knows bc of Catwoman. Tim is VERY QUICKLY learning this fact himself.

"Oh is that your sister? she's hot."

"no she's my aunt you asshole." catwoman is Paulina's aunt. new headcanon writing that dOWN

#bones writes #bones speaks #bones prompts #how the fuck do i tag this #yall read this its so fun #this is on the goddamn homestuck gc with my pals. we ball

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where-is-ezra · 8 months

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to wrap up day 2000, i wanted to say thank you.

this blog is 50% a complaint about how long ezra's been gone, 30% a shrine to my boy while he's away, and 20% a collection of shitty bits. there's been a lot of suffering and a lot of nonsense.

star wars was my first fandom love. now, for the first time since i was 7, i've stepped back- except for this blog. i have always loved and cherished the communities within the rebels fandom, and y'all here at where-is-ezra slash tumblr dot com is so, so precious to me. i have so much fun with every bit, meme, shitty drawing and edit.

in particular, shout out to those of you who engage with every post, no matter how fucking stupid or asinine. i see you in my notifications every day, and i appreciate you!!!!!!

i'll stop gushing, but thank you so every much. (un)happy 2000 days. if there's 2000 fucking more I'll quit

#2000 fucking days!!!#not counting

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sonicasura · 1 month

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Out of all the Transformers iterations, Bayverse Autobots and Decepticons are most likely to get turned into Bakugan. The old school style toys with more simplified play style. Not the shitty reboots that get worse every time.

Both sides would HATE it cause they are tiny gumball sized toys with barely little resemblance to themselves in ball/toy form. All the colorless gray bots get a new paint job as attributes are given at random. The more aggressive ones like Ironhide or Megatron take it a lot worse as a pockets have become the equivalent of baby jail.

Want to make the situation even more chaotic? Put all of them under a single human's care and said person being the only one who can allow them to (temporarily) assume their true form. A very weird situation since the game there is completely normal card game, not the TV show/videogame variants.

The war definitely ain't continuing unless the newly dubbed 'Bakugan Bots' or 'Bakubots' want to get thrown in the time-out for misbehaving. Let them get forced to get along for two years as forced found family is hilarious. Then toss everyone into a different Transformers iteration and watch the fireworks.

Bakubots alongside their human partner trying to survive as these versions aren't stuck in a toy form plus but are still fighting too. Meanwhile both factions are so fucking confused by this strange fleshie who can summon peculiar Cybertronians that radiate strange energy. (And share very familiar names or similar behavior.)

I love chaos plus this thought wouldn't leave me alone. Lol

Edit: Extra details cause why the fuck not?

-Q and Wheeljack are separate bots, not the same person.

-Only faction aligned bots are in this situation. Neutral such as Scourge aren't. Sentinel ain't here since he takes advantage of both factions and thus Neutral Evil. Fallen is also Neutral Evil.

-Minicons/Cassettes function as Bakugan Traps. Thus they have multiple elements to benefit from Ability and Gate Cards in return for their non-existent power.

-Size doesn't equal strength. Only power/Gs matter in a fight.

-Gate Cards can be set whenever and wherever. Only 3 are allowed out so one has to activate before another can be added.

-What each Attribute is. Pyrus: Fire, Aquos: Water, Haos: Light, Ventus: Wind, Darkus: Dark and Subterra: Earth.

I looked up a wiki for the entire cast below as I haven't watched the movies in years.

Autobots

Optimus Prime- Pyrus

Bumblebee- Haos

Ironhide- Subterra

Ratchet- Ventus

Jazz- Darkus

Elita-1- Haos

Arcee- Pyrus

Chromia- Aquos

Mudflap- Subterra

Skids- Ventus

Jolt- Haos

Bulkhead- Pyrus

Evac- Darkus

Jetfire- Ventus

Wheelie- Subterra/Pyrus

Brains- Aquos/Haos

Stratosphere- Ventus

Air Raid- Haos

Breakaway- Darkus

Silverbolt- Subterra

Mirage- Pyrus

Sideswipe- Pyrus

Sunstreaker- Haos

Crosshairs- Ventus

Hound- Subterra

Drift- Aquos

Q- Aquos

Wheeljack- Ventus

Roadbuster- Pyrus

Leadfoot- Subterra

Hot Rod- Pyrus

Topspin- Ventus

Grimlock- Pyrus

Snarl- Ventus

Scorn- Darkus

Slash- Pyrus

Slog- Subterra

Slug- Aquos

Strafe- Haos

Decepticons

Megatron- Darkus

Starscream- Ventus

Soundwave-Aquos

Frenzy- Darkus/Subterra

Ravage-Darkus/Pyrus

Lazerbeak- Darkus/Ventus

Shockwave- Darkus

Bonecrusher- Subterra

Blackout- Ventus

Scorponok- Subterra

Barricade- Pyrus

Brawl- Haos

Sideways- Haos

Mixmaster- Aquos

Scavenger- Subterra

Overload- Pyrus

Rampage- Darkus

Hightower- Ventus

Long Haul- Subterra

Scrapper- Haos

Hook- Subterra

Driller- Subterra/Haos

Igor- Haos

Nitro Zeus- Pyrus

Mohawk- Aquos

Crankcase- Subterra

Crowbar- Darkus

Berserker- Ventus

Hatchet- Subterra

Devcon- Aquos

Stinger- Pyrus

Grindor- Subterra

#sonicasura #maccadam #transformers #transformers series #transformers bayverse #autobots #decepticons #tf #tf series #tf bayverse #bakugan #bakugan battle brawlers #og bakugan #bakugan 2008 #crack #crack treated seriously

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blondebabebillie · 4 months

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#green day #billie joe armstrong #my caps #slash shitty edits

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geekgirl78 · 5 months

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#fink #the network #not green day #my caps #slash shitty edits #do queue want to elope tonight

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haileymorelikestupid · 2 years

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Curiosity Killed the Bat

Pairing: Max Phillips x reader

Summary: Max thought he was prepared to finally tell you the truth about what he is. He was dreading it, but he knew it had to be done. He expected the worst. He didn’t expect this.

Warnings/Tags: language, no use of Y/N, soft and not-at-all-cocky Max Phillips

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Nothing says October to me like writing about a vampire while watching college football to procrastinate doing my actual homework. Enjoy the product of my musings about how tf vampires even work. P.S. This should be gender-neutral and non-descriptive but let me know if there’s anything non-inclusive in here and I’ll make the necessary edits :)

“You’re a what?”

This is precisely why Max didn’t want to tell you. He is a selfish son of a bitch and you are too good for him and he was just trying to hang onto you for as long as he could.

He knew it would come to an end; he couldn’t hide it from you forever, and you’re too good to stay once you know what he is. But he was enjoying the delusion. He was enjoying the illusion that you would actually want anything to do with him. You were the best thing that had ever happened in his miserable life slash not-life. Was it so bad to want to hang onto that?

“Baby, please, I know you might be shocked—”

“Oh shocked is not a big enough word for what I’m feeling, Max Phillips.” And you sound so angry, a tinge of hurt coloring your tone, and Max doesn’t think he can handle this. He’d rather you stake him right now.

“Okay, yes, you’re angry, and you have every right to be—”

“Well I am so glad I have your permission.”

Now he’s panicking. He’s been stressed out since he decided to start this conversation but now he’s really panicking because now he’s being condescending and he wasn’t trying to, seriously, and this is all going even worse than he thought.

Slick, suave Max Phillips is at a total loss.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. Please believe me. I know I should have told you sooner, but I knew this would happen and I’m a shitty, selfish, monster of a being and I wanted to have you for as long as I could.”

Here it comes, he thinks. Here’s the breakup you expected but never wanted and it’s going to hurt more than you could have possibly imagined. Have fun living with this for a literal eternity.

“Yeah, Max, you should have told me sooner, and I’m not happy that you didn’t.” And now your tone is more disappointed than before and fuck, he’s changed his mind, he’ll take the anger back. Anything but the disappointment.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, okay?!” It’s a desperate exclamation and the Max Phillips of a few months ago would be embarrassed at the lack of control in his words. “I knew this would happen when I told you, I knew you would leave me, and I wanted to put it off for as long as possible!”

There. It’s out. Vulnerability that Max has always struggled with showing itself when it’s too late. Maybe he should have told you how much you mean to him sooner. Maybe it would help him now. He’ll never know, though. Within the next five minutes, you’ll probably be out the door and he’ll be left thinking about what he should have, could have, would have done.

“Leave you? Who the hell said anything about leaving you?”

If snapping necks worked on vampires, he would have just unintentionally ended his own existence with how quickly he turned to look at you. He is utterly baffled, and after multiple attempts the only thing he can get out is a meek, “Isn’t that what’s about to happen?”

“Um, no? Why would I leave you when I have so many questions?” you ask, brow furrowed with genuine confusion etched across your face.

Okay… so you’re not leaving yet? Is that what’s happening? You’ll ask him a series of cliché questions, decide you don’t like his answers or his existence in general, and then you’ll leave?

It gets him a few more minutes with you, right? Better than nothing, he supposes.

“Questions?”

“Yes, Max, questions.”

“I thought you were mad at me.”

“Oh, I’m livid.”

His answering wince must be more obvious than he meant for it to be. Your brows lift just a tad, your shoulders drop, and your voice has lost part of its edge when you speak again. “I’m not mad at you for being a vampire, babe.”

Okay, he seriously has no idea what the hell is going on. Your words are equally as confusing as the use of the pet name.

“Then why are you mad?” He knows it’s a stupid question, yes, but he can’t help but ask it.

You sigh, a small sound, and it’s not even that frustrated. Maybe just… exasperated? Almost fondly so? Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. “I’m mad that you didn’t tell me sooner. There’s so much we could have already talked about!”

And he doesn’t even want to ask, honestly. He knows that you’ll want to know all the gruesome details: how he was turned, does he kill people, all the things that he’ll answer even though he knows it only heightens the chances of you leaving, even if you said you weren’t. “Like what?” he asks, and it’s already so defeated.

“Um, where do I even start?”

And he sighs as you think a little bit, but before he can open his mouth to start telling his story or whatever, you speak again.

“I mean, first of all, just off the top of my head, do you digest blood?”

What.

The.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry?” is the only thing that he can get out.

“Well, it obviously has some nutritional value to you, but how does that work with organ function and all? You’re like, technically dead, right? Except you still have some organ functioning, so… which ones?”

“Which… ones?”

“Yeah, which organs work? I mean the consensus of vampire lore is that your heart doesn’t beat but your brain obviously works. If you need blood as sustenance, is your digestive system functioning, too? Do you have to breathe? What determines which organs you need to stay – well, maybe not alive, but existing? I guess?”

“I am so confused right now.”

“Uh, yeah, me too, Max! Why do you think I’m asking you?!”

His brain is so stuck that he can’t figure out any other response except, “So, you’re not leaving me?”

You do some sort of half-sigh, half-scoff and throw your hands up before letting out an emphatic, “No, Max, I already told you I’m not leaving you.”

“But you’re mad at me?”

“Yes, I’m mad! I could have already been picking your brain about all this stuff and you’ve prevented me from experiencing that joy until now!”

The two of you have just been a few feet apart in his living room this whole time, but now he needs to sit down. He crosses to his couch and collapses on it before burying his face in his palms. He doesn’t need the deep breath that he takes, but the motion makes him feel better. More stable.

The warmth of your body close to his just precedes your careful hand on his shoulder. Your voice is soft and concerned when you say his name.

He knows he should pick his head up and look at you, but he doesn’t feel ready to just yet. He needs just another moment to reorient himself in this conversation before he can face it.

You speak again before he can muster up the courage to say something. “I’m not really mad. I wish you had told me sooner, but I’m not mad at you. I’m just nosy and want to know everything all the time. And I have a lot of questions that the internet isn’t really able to answer.”

He chuckles softly, just a couple of quick exhales through his nose, and he finally feels able to look up and meet your eyes. When he does, he notices the soft smile gracing the corners of your lips and the way your brows aren’t furrowed anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I know.”

“You’re just so good. Too good for me. And I figured that once you knew what I really was, you’d never want to be with me. I didn’t want to let you go yet.”

“Oh, my love. I’m sorry if I did something to make you think that. You’re everything to me. It might take a minute for me to fully comprehend that you’re a vampire, but I know you, and I have no intention of leaving you.”

God, you’re perfect. It’s the only explanation. You are the most perfect person ever created and he is wretched, but somehow the universe has decided to give him the best thing it has to offer.

He lets his hand float up to your face, lets the backs of his fingers brush over your chin and up until he’s smoothing his fingers over your cheek. His thumb rubs gently over the space just below your eye, and he revels in the warmth he feels below the skin.

What’s two bombshells in one day, he decides.

“I love you.”

Your smile loosens in favor of your lips opening on an exhale, and your eyebrows raise. Your eyes are round and open and gleaming, and if he weren’t already immortal, the way his reflection in them is outlined in fondness would be enough to make him so.

He doesn’t have time to think about whether he should add some sort of qualifier, some sort of statement that you don’t have to feel the same, because he feels the breath of your response against his wrist when you say, “I love you, too.”

A few gentle kisses later, you pull away and your face changes, a slight smirk and a hint of mirth in your eyes as you say, “Okay, so can you answer my questions now? Digesting blood, yes or no?”

His answering laugh echoes through the room, and his non-beating heart swears to always answer whatever you ask.

#max phillips x reader #pedro pascal x reader #max phillips #max phillips fanfiction #bloodsucking bastards #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #max phillips fluff #you watch a campy vampire movie once and suddenly you're writing fanfiction for it #I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT VAMPIRES FOR REAL #i hope all two people who read this enjoy it LMAO #also i didnt proofread because i didnt feel like it so kindly ignore the tragic grammatical errors that are certainly in here #and feel free to let me know what you think of this!#my writing

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notstilinski · 4 months

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Shayne and Amanda Play FNAF Starters !

Taken from the Smosh Games' video, Our First Time Playing Five Nights at Freddy's! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“Recently, we convinced them that the entire premise of Five Nights at Freddy’s was a true story that happened in the eighties.”

“What? So we’re going on this road with no map?”

“What a shitty office… Is this our office?”

“There’s a don’t poop on the floor.”

“I feel like I can’t breathe, ya know?”

“So, they will kill you if they see you but…”

“Okay, but this is actually fucking scary, man.”

“This is so fucked up. Why do we like to fuck ourselves over?”

“I don’t like this guy. He knows we’re about to get fucked over.”

“Are you trying to fucking kill us, dude?”

“We got three hours left!”

“Okay, I’m just gonna shut that. We’re good. We’re good.”

“We’re definitely playing this on a little bit of easy mode because we’re both babies.”

“Don’t cry. We cannot cry right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We cannot cry.”

“Is she wearing a bib? Is she a baby?!”

“If they have a bib on? We’re fucked.”

“If this is a baby coming after us then we’re fucked.”

“(Name)! Go! Away!”

“I don’t know why you like just being in this room and waiting for the inevitable.”

“I’m not gonna go out there!”

“That’s what you’re gonna do in a horror movie.”

“They’re a creepy little bitch.”

“Don’t ever say that. When people say that, we die.”

“I literally now know what you’re like in a horror movie.”

“I actually hate this guy. He gives me no comfort.”

“Well, you thought they were annoying, now they’re dead.”

“This is all entirely true.”

“No, no, no. It’s fine. Let’s go back — Let’s double check.”

“You want to experience dying?!”

“Their neck is broken, that’s for sure.”

“Okay, so (Name)’s back to their bullshit right there.”

“You’re gonna get us killed. You’re gonna get us slashed.”

“I don’t want to get killed by (Name).”

“(Name) sing us a song.”

“Morale, (Name), morale.”

“I think you’re creating lore right now which is fine. Go ahead.”

“I can’t, I’m too scared.”

“I am simply too scared.”

“They’re probably starving from being on their feet all night.”

“I’m not even gonna tell you the controls. I’m just gonna let you have fun.”

“Okay, that bitch is in the kitchen.”

“It’s fine. Everything’s gonna be fine, you got this!”

“(Name) trust. Just trust.”

“No, there’s always somebody in that hallway.”

“(Name)’s not really doing shit this time.”

“That’s some lore that I don’t know.”

“You need to ask me before we open a door.”

“You’re gonna get us fucking murdered, (Name).”

“We have to decipher this language.”

“I don’t think that’s the case. I think everything’s trying to kill us.”

“There wasn’t anyone in the hallway.”

“We should promote this so more people know about it!”

“I told you! What did I tell you? I told you!”

“We’re bad on both sides.”

“Okay? Creepy as fucking lullaby.”

“No, I don’t think that’s gonna work. I think we just have to hope.”

“Yeah! We’re gonna go get blitzed now!”

“That’s my theory. That’s my game theory.”

“I give us thirty seconds.”

“Don’t say this.”

“I don’t know, it’s been a bit since I watched Markiplier play them but, uh…”

“Here’s the thing, this was an adventure.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #starter sentences #ask meme #ask prompt #inbox memes #inbox prompts #youtube sentence starters #this was mostly just shayne yelling tbh <3 #if u see any mistakes ... no u don't <3

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bigsnzstanacct · 8 months

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Ahhh okay this is very niche BUT, I have a Ch/eck Plea/se scenario on the brain with these two characters Nur/sey and D/ex and maybe I will edit to explain who the characters are but my vision is basically like… they both have the fetish, their mutual friend Chow/der knows about Nur/sey’s but not De/x’s, they’re on a kind of enemies to lovers track in my brain, ANYWAY (putting more under the cut bc then I don’t have to put the dumb slashes in the names, right?

Okay so Dex has like The Biggest Sneezes, so loud, so wet, so desperate and intense, and Nursey is Into Big Sneezes BUT Dex is SUPER shy about the fetish (like one of those can’t say the word sneeze, can barely bless people types) and HATES sneezing because it draws so much attention to himself specifically about the thing he is awkward about. Anyway so like Chowder and Nursey are high and talking about the fetish and Dex overhears and he has All The Feelings like OMG this guy I have the hots for has my same fetish OMG how dare he TALK about it he’s going to EXPOSE US and also wow I wish I was that Free and Open but also WHAT KIND OF SNEEZES DOES HE LIKE DOES HE LIKE MINE I LIKE HIS SO MUCH. And Chowder and Nursey are like “okay okay what about me do I have Hot Sneezes?” “I mean yours are good, but like I can’t see you that way you’re like a) straight and b) basically my brother.” “Okay okay what about… Holster” “omg so hot so loud, excellent” (and Dex is over there like “omg me me I have loud sneezes but wait no I hate having loud sneezes ahh feelings are confusing!”)

Chowder: “okay uhhhh… how about Jack? Did you ever hear Jack sneeze?”

Nursey: “ughhhhh noooo but I want to so BAD that guy is gorgeous I mean no offense to Bitty not tryna steal his man but that ASS goddamn!”

Dex: *feeling identical feelings very intensely and also why is this man strumming my pain with his fingers and singing my life with his words* (he only knows that song bc Nursey yes it’s the Fugees version).

Chowder: “how about… Lardo?”

Nursey: “oh. 100% yes, ten out of ten, her and Shitty both—I have heard Shitty by the way and like… okay hers are lowkey so LOUD especially for how tiny she is and then his aren’t as loud but they’re like… so desperate and he’ll go like five times in a row… lmao I can’t believe I’m telling you this shit you must think I’m SO weird.”

Chowder: “nah dude, like you always say we’re all weirdos. I mean you know about my thing.”

Nursey: “it’s like adorable how pink your ears get when you even mention it hahaha”

Dex: *wondering if Nursey would find his pink ears cute*

Chowder: oh! Oh! What about Dex?

Dex: *stomach drops, rises, roller coasters, heart does a whiz bang flip flop*

Nursey: “ugh… that guy.”

Dex: *heart craters*

Chowder: “Nursey, don’t be that way. I mean doesn’t he do that like… he doesn’t let it out, but isn’t that like a… sexy mystery or something?”

Nursey: “I mean… it would be but he’s such a prude I mean. I could never talk about this with him he’d look at me like I was so disgusting. And besides, I know the mystery… he like… never let’s it out. He ALWAYS stifles. I’ve been his roommate for like months now” (did I mention they were roommates??) “and not. even. once. And like, not even on my kinky shit but like it looks like it hurts him. And I told him it’s his room too he can sneeze but nope. Repressed, like everything else about him. Kinda sad.”

Dex: *emotionally flailing, on life support, smushed, a Kafka-esque insect (and actually he had read Metaphorphosis before he met Nursey ThankYouSoMuch) beneath the boot of Bad Feelings*

Chowder: “maybe he just doesn’t feel comfortable. Still… you are curious aren’t you.”

Nursey: “well I mean… I don’t want to take advantage of him but like… maybe it wasn’t tooooooootally true that there’s noooooo kinky curiosity there…”

Chowder: “I knew it! Called it! You totally wanna know.”

Dex: *emotionally revived, risen from the ashes, also so confused, nearing emotional shutdown, everything is happening at once how do I get out of here without making noise they cannot know I was spying on them like this omg omg omg he’s gonna hate me internal roller coaster noises*

#snz fiction #snz dialogue #is this a fic? is this a WIP? is this dialogue snippets? who knows #punch drunk fic #ch/eckplease

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