Wake up babes of the GO fandom turtleneck-crowley just dropped their most recent Magnus Opus🥰🥰🥰
Hey guys I am a eccentric genius artist of the century whose works will probably only be appreciated post mortem (self-diagnosed)
Im also very certain you would all blorbos me if I were a fictional character but alas I am a boring meat package that got birthed out of an afab physiology and thus a sack of mouldy potatoes might have been a more interesting source writing this post. (Pure hubris, part irrational resentment that you are all quite familiar with *cheeky hot wink*)
I happen to own a get out of jail free card called catch 22 which is crafted out of part sarcasm, part idgasinglefgtfoofmyfacei180dmycringethroughyearsofpainandselfrelctionthatim toocoolforyounow public image
(if you actually read that you deserve, well nothing actually except perhaps my condolences and a consensual pat on the back that implies my unlicensed diagnosis that you are in fact, not dyslexic)
Anyhow cracking on back to the sentence *sighs and rolls eyes with you*
(-I mean in the streets, not with you guys, here im babygirl with half a brain cell/true form), part wholesome idiocy, years of experience in masking, part looking presentable, part knowing how society and science and art works and trying to be in tact with my own sense of humanity as much as possible -at least to the point where I’m not breaking any humanitarian law…
And yes bitch the whole eccentric genius /madly passionate or passionately mad paradox catch 22 license holder is you af - want a gold star? ⭐️ (crowley ref) (affectionate banter)
Fact is tumblrinas like to heighten and balance their EQ and IQ agreed?
I’m hyper aware that you guys are smart enough to assess me as going through a manic phase that is on the verge of psychotic-having observed hints of madness in my recent posts deducing via your own experiences that I have gone through a strict diet of coffee, whiskey, smut that Neil Gaiman himself would tear his locks and Sir Terry Pratchett would roll in his grave, finished off with a nice slice of Hozier songs as dessert
(that’s on top of of a yet to be discovered food chain which I call the Antichrist diet footnote: please credit me after I die before my Tesla gets Edisoned
‘Tis actually a great alternative way to invoke a psychedelic experience in substitute of the more expensive and questionably unlawful way that is smoking crack *disclaimer not recommended for the faint hearted or those self-diagnosed as mentally stable)
You are perfectly correct! Here’s another gold star!!! ⭐️
In fact I am currently being yelled by my parents to come downstairs because I need to be dropped off to the asylum while I’m trying to actually do something that gives me joy (Joan of Arc eat your heart out) and I assure you I have eyes and witness my very legs , naked and hairy (and did I mention Im only wearing a slutty black bra and skirt that I wore as a swimming suit AND a pajama and now my back to the looney bin outfit?) leaving a perfectly good soup with baguettes as evidenced here
However, I would like to UNO reverse such a caring notion by giving you a purple heart 💜
and divert you with a fun little clip that displays our para social relationship that I am hoping has deepened through my superficial charm to portray our rendezvous as warm and familiar and human as our beloved Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson:
No worries, Watson also came with the conslusion that the person he’s engaged with (more like to amiright- not us i mean, them, that’s where the analogy is cut off back into our real identities) is “not human”
Anyhow it might not be your cup of tea but at least hold the mug for a few minutes it’s worth it
Head fic: Gods of Sex and Idiocy
(If anything please see it as a game where we can title it better cause I’m shit at naming things - I call one of my plants Joe)
Hey Good Omens fandom
With the note of:
“who needs sane when you have creative”
-turtleneck-crowley
I have made a meta season 3 in my head and the stars have even sent me a playlist ??? (It’s the only one that seems to be downloaded on my wifi less phone)
Here’s the link:
Check out some of my latest posts
It’s really immersive and otherworldly
Down the rabbit hole and through the mirror you go 🐇🎩🪄
And what if season 1 is the ace route and season 2 is the sexual route so season 3 might be an aro route to defeating the enemy?
Ngk idk idc idgaf
I’m just like phone rn
(side note: why do I have the infinite capacity of taking pains (Sherlock reference) for being a mad artist instead of working on the next big physics formula answer? Good question: I’m actually just an emotional idiot aka sexy trash ✨ that’s addicted to blogging and I wouldn’t trade it for any other praise worthy status in the world 💜)
Honestly guys I sound like a sociopath but I’m really just very pained and fucked royally by circumstance that is too dramatic and gay for anyone except the loonies on tumblr to understand. I’m so disappointed by all this unjust pain and agony of the world- the children, the animals, the environment, the people that I have conditioned myself to display an eloquence so pungent it seems like I’m a cold manipulator. For if I ever showed myself for who I was to them- the judgers, the perverted, the scheming, I would surely be dead either by my own or someone else’s hands. Maybe I’m God and they just like tumblr and good omens and want to eat crepes in peace with the personality they split into 2 -preferably in Paris. Maybe they have been placed all the blame by the enemy and they are powerless to the human condition as you all are by an unknown enemy and is fated to be tortured in anxiety and pain invisible to all and the only infinite power they have is love that bleeds.
But I’ll give you and I both the peace of mind that I am an in fact just a mentally ill human whose life span is between the zones of expiration and fermentation, with a god complex, whom their closest people will never truly know how to care no matter how much they try- and in fact the more they try to help me the more they leave me in my original state- alone.
I leave you (no I’m not killing myself you idiot I’m going to the mental hospital to be molested by nightmares of demons - I literally experience it everyday- as they force me to take my sleeping pills which sinks me deeper into it-oh wait that’s kind of worse lmao) with this favorite piece of classical music of mine
Stay safe yall I love you
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We have Chemistry
A feysand Highschool AU where they bond over science because Im in a great mood! The guy I’ve had a crush on all year finally asked me out, and we’re going to the movies! Tomorrow!
This is mainly a fluff, and is most definitely not scientifically accurate. ENJOY!!!
Masterlist
“You idiot!” Feyre hissed, storming down the long hallway towards the Dean’s office, because, yet again, Rhys had somehow managed to blow something up in Chemistry.
“It’s not my fault!” He insisted, struggling to keep up with her. “I followed the protocol exactly. I did everything the lab instructions said to, and it still blew up.”
She whirled on him, glaring fiercely. “If you’d followed the protocol, it wouldn’t have blown up.”
Rhys rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “That’s not fair. You-” He pointed an accusing finger at her, “were responsible for mixing the chemicals together.
“And you were responsible for getting them from the supply closet. So where do you think the mix up most likely occurred? Huh?”
Shaking his head, he stormed into the office with her hot on his heels. The desk attendant, a tired looking junior that she knew to be John, glanced up at them. “Again?” He groaned.
“Yep.” Feyre deadpanned, dropping onto the wooden bench pressed against the hideous creme walls. “Three guesses whose fault it was.”
“It wasn’t my fault!” Her lab partner grumbled, dropping onto the bench beside her, his arms still crossed and glaring straight ahead.
John scoffed, beginning to scribble something on a sheet of paper. “If I had a dollar for every time he’s said that this semester.” He ripped the paper upwards, then slid it across the counter towards them. “A week of detention. The deans are getting tired of this, so they gave me the authority to punish you for them.”
Feyre instantly turned beet red, and slunk further down on the bench.
Rhys snatched the hall pass from the counter, and sauntered out of the office. Giving the poor junior an apologetic glance, she hurried after him, struggling to match his long strides, not wanting to risk yet another detention by being caught without a hall pass.
“Hey, slow down!” She hissed, struggling to keep up with his unfairly long strides.
“Why should I?” He snapped, taking longer strides out of spite. “You threw me under the bus in there.”
Fighting the urge to snap back at him, Feyre took a deep breath before speaking. “And what would you have had me do? Lie?”
He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. “No.”
They stopped, just outside of their classroom. A glance at the clock revealed that the bell would ring at any moment.
“Well?” She prodded.
Rhys sighed again, chewing on his lip. “You have to get the chemicals, I do the rest of the work.”
Shock flooded her, her jaw dropping. “I-Rhys, you know I’m dyslexic, right?”
He blinked. “And?”
“And you’d trust me with this?”
“Is there any particular reason why I shouldn’t?”
Feyre could only shake her head, utterly stunned.
The bell rang then, and he gave her a warm smile as students flooded out into the halls, laughing and shouting. “Good. It’s settled then.”
They managed to be civil during that day’s detention, much to the shock of the teacher monitoring them, Ms. Brun, who eyed them suspiciously every time there was any sound in the room.
Feyre blocked that out, and focused on filling out her lab report, as she had used her free period to re-create the experiment properly, as had Rhys. though, they’d mutually agreed that it would be for the best if they each did the experiment on their own to avoid any further incidents.
A ball of paper whizzed past her.
She didn’t notice.
Then another ball of paper careened by.
She watched it roll to a stop, then returned to her work.
An eraser hit the desk in front of her.
Feyre hardly glanced up.
A paper airplane floated gracefully down onto her work, smudging the wet ink.
She brushed it off the desk with a huff.
A pencil smacked her in the head.
She kept her head down, kept writing, even as she clenched her jaw.
A highlighter collided with her desk.
Feyre remained focused on her report, even as annoyance warmed her face.
Ms. Brun stood, and announced that she was going to get some water, and to continue working. Feyre nodded that she understood, and continued working, even as Rhys made a non committed noise. The teacher shook her head as she left, and Feyre knew without looking that his feet were propped up on the desk, hands folded behind his head, ever the arrogant prick.
A ruler whizzed past, clattering across the floor.
Then a pencil.
Another eraser.
A notebook.
It was only when his calculator crashed into the whiteboard that she whirled in her seat to face him. “What.”
Her previous assumption of his posture had been correct. Rhys was reclined in his seat, feet propped up. “Oh, she deigns to reply.”
That annoyance quickly turned to anger. “Are you serious?! I have to finish this lab, or I won’t make the honor roll.” She hissed, eyes narrowing. “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to prevent that.”
Rhys blinked. “Wow. I was just going to ask what you got for question nine. Jeez, take a chill pill, Archeron.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose, and tried to calm her roaring nerves. “Nine is trihydrogen monoxide sulfate.”
“Thanks.”
When Ms. Brun returned, she cast a glance around the room, at the papers, pens, pencils, erasers and notebooks strewn about, and sighed.
During their next lab, Feyre checked and rechecked the labels on both the beaker of water, and the beaker of vinegar, before carrying them carefully back to the desk she shared with Rhys, who was already scribbling down onto their shared lab report. “They’re both correct.” She murmured, setting the beakers down.
Rhys hardly glanced up, and adjusted his safety goggles. “Alright, let’s get to work.” He paused to study the steps, then reached for the beaker at the same moment Feyre did, and their hands collided softly.
“Sorry,” She murmured, quickly picking up the water, and dumped it into the larger beaker.
Her lab partner simply blushed, then added in his vinegar, before passing a pen over to her. “Alright, we’re supposed to wait for a minute before adding in the detergent, then we measure the resulting bubbles.”
Nodding, Feyre took the pen and began answering the questions.
After only a few seconds, Rhys nudged her.
Annoyed, she looked up and gave him an accusatory glare. He then nodded towards the beaker. “Should it be fizzing like that?”
Indeed, their mixture was fizzing quite a bit, slowly bubbling up and filling in beaker, inching ever closer to the top.
At that moment, Professor Kallias strode by, then paused to examine their work. When he finally glanced up again, a warm grin melted his icy features. “Very well done, Miss Archeron, Mr. Nash. Stellar work.”
“Thank you, sir.” They chorused.
Professor Kallias gave them another congratulatory remark before continuing on down the row.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Feyre leaned over to hiss in her lab partner's ear. “Did you put the detergent in?”
An alarmed look spread across his face. “No, did you?”
“No.”
Rhys stared down at the fizzing mixture, his eyebrows drawn tightly together. “Then how- Wait.” He sniffed the air several times. “Do you smell that?” When Feyre shook her head, he then leaned down to sniff at the beaker, and instantly reeled back, coughing violently.
When she leaned over to pat his back, she caught a whiff of the mixture, and began to cough and cough, a wave of nauseating dizziness washing over her as the room spun. Her chest tightened painfully, even as her vision blurred.
“Oh no,” Someone murmured.
Her stomach gave a violent twist, and she was instantly out of her seat and barreling towards the sink to empty her stomach. She only made it a few steps, however, before she tripped over her lab partner’s foot, and fell into the sink, cracking her brow against the faucet.
Suddenly, Rhys was at the sink beside her, emptying himself of the sandwich he’d had for lunch with a loud groan.
Red flooded the line of sight in one of her eyes, even as she slowly began to take in deep breaths.
“What in the cauldron is going on here?!” Professor Kallias shouted, storming over towards them.
“Sorry, sir.” Rhys moaned, head still in the sink. Under different circumstances, she might have laughed. “I felt a bit sick.”
“And you?” Their teacher demanded.
Feyre turned towards him then, and he paled with a muttered curse, before turning towards their beaker and giving it a very small sniff. His next curse wasn’t so quiet. “Everybody, go to the quad.” He stated, in a monotonous tone, even as his eyes had severely widened. “Now.”
The students let out a mixture of groans, and cheers as they quickly filed out of the room, and the door banged shut.
By now, Rhys had removed his head from the sink, but was still looking incredibly pale and sweaty.
Professor Kallias pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “You two...Just go to the Dean’s. I’ll clean this up.”
Rhys glanced over at her, and let out a sharp curse. He instantly became a fussing mother hen, and wet a paper towel, pressing it to her brow. Their teacher simply watched with an amused smile.
“Here, put your arm around my neck--yep, just like that.” He murmured, helping her out through the door, and began to half-carry her down the halls.
“I’m fine,” Feyre murmured, keeping the now blood soaked paper towel pressed against her cut.
“Bull.” He said, leading her back into the office they had been in only twenty four hours prior.
John let out a harsh sigh, not looking up from his book. “You guys again? Seriously, I swear we’re going to have to start shit!” He hissed, leaping to his feet. “Good God, what happened to you both?”
“Chemistry.” They both deadpanned.
Dull pain began to emanate from the cut, and pulsed in time with her heart, which was only racing because of the adrenaline. Not because Rhys had practically carried her here.
“Miss Jenkins, we need your help.” John called, trading out the soaked paper towel for a clean one.
A portly older woman came from the nurse’s room, a kind smile on her lips. “Yes, dear? Oh good heavens!” She cried, scurrying over to them. “My word, are you both alright?”
“Yes,” Feyre muttered.
“No, actually, we’re not.” Rhys stated, giving her waist a tight squeeze.
“Well, follow me.” Miss Jenkins fretted, leading them back into the nurse’s room.
He carried her back, and set her down gently on the cot in the center of the room. When Rhys made to pull away and move to a chair, she gripped his arm and pulled him down next to her, deciding to blame her behavior on the loopiness she now felt.
Miss Jenkins carefully took the paper towel from her, and threw it away, before returning with some sterilized cotton balls, which she used to slowly clean the blood off of Feyre’s face in gentle swipes.
“Now,” The older woman began sternly, “tell me what happened to this poor young lady.” She cast a glance at Rhys. “And you too, young man.” She added as an afterthought.
“I tripped.” Feyre said.
“It’s a long story,” Rhys muttered, still looking palle.
Miss Jenkins tutted. “John, be a dear for me and fetch some crackers and juice from the cafeteria.” She called out, leveling a glare at Rhys, who visibly shrunk.
Feyre gave the hand she hadn’t realized she’d been clutching a mocking pat, a smirk worming its way onto her lips.
The woman stepped back, making to prepare some more cotton swabs. “Seeing as we have time, what exactly was the long story?”
“We were doing a lab in chem,” Feyre began, motioning for her lab partner to continue.
“And we switched roles today-” Rhys said.
“-Because yesterday Mr. Man here nearly blew us up-”
“-So she agreed to be the one who gets ingredients-”
“-And I swear I read the labels right-”
“-But when we mixed them it made a toxic gas-”
“-And I felt sick and ran to the sink-”
“-But she tripped-”
“-And I headbutted the faucet-”
“-Then I threw up.” Rhys concluded with a sigh.
Miss Jenkins blinked, returning to cleaning Feyre’s cut. “That’s quite the adventure, dearies. But, how did you make a toxic gas?”
“I don’t know,” Feyre murmured. “The two things we mixed were supposedly water and vinegar.”
“Supposedly?” Rhys scoffed. “I thought you said you read the labels!”
“I did!” She insisted. “They said water and vinegar!”
“Well they clearly weren’t.”
“Yeah, no shit dumbass.”
“Language!” Miss Jenkins shouted, eyeing them with exasperation, shaking her head as she continued swiping at the young girl’s cut.
“Sorry,” They murmured in unison.
“Heavens, you two both need to take a step back and apologize to each other!” Miss Jenkins tutted. “I’ve been listening to the two of you coming in and out of the Dean’s office all semester, and each time it’s because of some mysterious accident in Chemistry, and each time it’s the other person’s fault. And from what I’ve overheard, you two need to take a step back and realize you have a lot in common, before I lose what little sanity I have left. Isn’t that right, John?”
The door creaked open, and the sheepish junior tossed in a pack of crackers and a bottle of apple juice, nodding solemnly before sneaking back out.
“Darn boy always listening at the hinges, always thinks he’s going to overhear international secrets.” She muttered, pressing a band-aid to Feyre’s forehead. “There, all done!”
“Thank you.” Feyre murmured, slowly sliding away from Rhys.
“You,” Miss Jenkins leveled another stern glare at him. “School’s going to let out any minute now, and I’m taking you with the incredibly important job of taking her home. She might have a concussion, and I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Yes ma’am.” Rhys agreed, sending a smirk towards Feyre.
“Good. Now get out. The sooner you leave, the sooner I can go home.” She muttered, carefully shooing them out into the main office.
Rhys wrapped an arm around Feyre, and began leading her out into the parking lot, towards his jet-black, sleek car.
“I don’t need a ride,” She muttered, crossing her arms.
“Tough.”
“I can take the bus.”
“Nope, get in.”
“You’re insufferable.” She hissed.
“Thank you, darling.”
“I’m not your darling,” Feyre snapped as she slid into the passenger's seat.
Rhys simply smirked again, backing out of the parking lot as the bell rang and students began flooding out. “Apologies, darling.”
“You’re a menace.”
“We’ve established this, Darling.”
Feyre could only shake her head. “I can’t believe this.”
“Back at you. Hey, where do you live?”
“Nineteenth and Prythian.”
He nodded, then merged into traffic. “So.”
“So what?”
“How much trouble do you think we’re going to be in?”
Suddenly, Feyre found herself giggling, then laughing, then absolutely cackling with glee, tears streaming down her face. After a moment, Rhys joined in, pulling over when he, too, started tearing up.
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