Futuer Leo with apprentice reader?
like reader was made his apprentice alongside Casey Jr and people keep comparing the two, how Casey was more mature, how he was stronger physically and emotionally
thankss
I warned y’all, i warned ya it was coming
(shout out to @yanteetle who makes me chuckle every time they react with my angst posts)
summary: Reader just wants to make him proud
TW: death, in detail character death, meaning the POV is dying, murder, reader runs away, reader has a breakdown, the dove is dead. why? cause I killed it, reader just wants to make him proud :(
It Was Not Your Fault But Mine
When Leonardo became the leader of the resistance he expected many things, war? mhm, death? absolutely. it came with the territory. being placed in charge of two preteens, to train them to be able to live in this brutal world? no, he was never expecting you to become his apprentice. He trained you both, but…he couldn’t help but see himself in you. the self he hated. his past, a cocky teenager that thought his older brother would carry everything for him.
You couldn’t help but resent Casey. Why did he get special treatment? You two were on the same patrol where you watched half the patrol get wiped out…and yet, you listened to your mentor, Leonardo, comfort Casey… why didn’t he also comfort you? His gruff voice broke through your thoughts “ You're okay, You're alright. I'll never, ever leave your side- “ you gripped your elbows as your buried your head in your knees “ -I will stay and I will fight. “ his humming filled the space he and Casey were sharing, you weren’t even supposed to be here “ With you, you're okay, you're alright. I'll stay here through the darkest night. All the way, I will fight….with you “ when you heard Leonardo start to leave the space, you quickly left the surrounding area. collapsing onto the floor and sighing, nothing but harsh memories being your company.
When you and Casey were allowed out on serious patrols, you were exploring a apartment building. You entered one door and recoiled at the dead person in the room, you backed up and knocked over a pot which caught the attention of a kraang dog nearby…which alterted its friends… which had them chasing after you and Casey. You both narrowly avoided them by closing yourselves in a apartment, you sheepishly grinned at Casey and he looked down at you with a unimpressed face. You two had waited two hours before Leonardo and a patrol could rescue you two, when he found out what happened…he sighed and walked off. You and Casey followed him back, being able to tell he was going to yell at you two when you got back. You dreaded it, you always ended up crying when Leonardo shouted at you, or, whenever anyone shouted at you.
You sniffled in your room, you didn’t miss how Leonardo’s frame was exhausted looking. He walked past your area and into Casey’s room. You suddenly shot up. “ I’ll make him proud of me. I’ll- I’ll do something impactful. I’ll bring back so much material that he can’t help but notice me! “ pushing out your room, grabbing a bottle of water and a nutrition bar, you left the resistance camp behind. Your eyes hard as you held your weapon tightly. You were going to force him to see you.
It was a horrible mistake. You were doing so good! Being stealthy! but a building crashed over top you, leaving a metal beam through your leg. You collar bones were broken as your weak arms tried to push off the large slab of concrete. realizing you couldn’t…tears started rolling down your face. you didn’t want to die alone…you didn’t want to die here. In the darkness your only companion was your emergency button, it’s blue color that it glowed was illuminating your face. You felt like a old dog, a dog that stopped being useful to your farmer. You whimpered and cried, whispering a small lullaby to yourself “ You're okay, You're alright. I'll never, ever leave your side- “ you gripped the concrete slab as you buried your head in the sand like floor behind you “ -I will stay and I will fight…. “ your humming filled the space, you weren’t even supposed to be here… “ With you, you're okay, you're alright. I'll stay here through the darkest night.- “ your sob echoed through the rubble “ -All the way, I will fight….with you… “ your body started hyperventilating to the best of its ability, the concrete slab feeling so..so heavy. You didn’t want to die alone with your thigh pinned down by a metal bar, by concrete holding down your chest…you wanted your mentor…you wanted…you…
Leonardo’s patrol finally got through the rubble, his hands scrapped and bleeding as he found you, a wail escaping him as he rushed forwards. Pushing the concrete slab you so clearly tried to push off, your scrapped and bleeding hands being a painful reminder how you both struggled with the rubble. He leaned his head down and sobbed when your chest never thudded with a heart beat. He pushed the hair out of your face so carefully and took in your tear streaked cheeks, still damp. Some may say that your death was your own fault. That you should’ve never left because you were jealous. But it was not your fault but his instead. He neglected you and he’ll defend your death and your name, and everything you stood for with his life, because he failed you, like he failed his brothers, like he failed New York…like he failed the world. He’s Icarus and he flew way too close to the sun.
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"I think [Roman's relationship with his siblings at the start of the season] is actually something close to healthy for once, y'know? I think we've been sort of competing with each other and just been sort of under Dad's, y'know, spell a bit -- we love each other but have no means to sort of express that or show that with each other. We're not gonna, like, get together and hang out. Like, we always needed the business to hang out with each other. I think Roman doesn't really have anyone else. I think he has the siblings and the people he works with. I don't think there are like friends, he doesn't have a- a partner, there's nobody else, so he needs the business in order to have relationships with people, including the ones he loves. So when he gets cut out, he at least gets cut out with the siblings, and it's like 'well, we have each other, but we can't just hang out, we need something.' So we form a business together, we're puttin' this thing together just, I think, I think it's a good idea and it's good to, y'know, have our own business and be our own people and be separate from Dad, but I think it's more so that -- for Roman anyways -- it's more like so I can keep hanging out with you guys and we can have a relationship, because otherwise if we don't have anything we're never gonna see each other.
And if we have our own business and it's successful and we do that, then there's potential to have a relationship with Dad, now that we're not working for him. We can actually, like, -- I think for Roman anyway, I don't if the siblings feel the same way -- it's like yeah, Dad hurt us, but also, y'know, I think I want to- I'd like to get to a place where I see him on his birthday and Thanksgiving and stuff. I think I'd like to get back to hanging out with Dad. And if we have our own business, then maybe we can get together and have a Scotch and talk about our different companies and ask for advice here and there."
-- Kieran Culkin on Roman in S4E1 for Rotten Tomatoes TV
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There is an essential difference between Arya and Jon, one which is very difficult to reconcile, and makes them romantically incompatible. While it is true they are both outcasts to their society, the reasons cannot be more different. For Arya, the system doesn't reject her but her interests, while she herself rejects the traditional role it forces upon her. If it were up to her, she would absolutely like to fit in, but not at the expense of her interests. For Jon, it is something beyond his control, he doesn't reject the system, the system rejects him. His interests and desires are all traditional, but he is a bastard, so he cannot pursue them.
Very true.
What Jon desires fiercely (so fiercely it makes him ashamed of himself):
He would make me Lord of Winterfell. The wind was gusting, and Jon felt so light-headed he was half afraid it would blow him off the Wall. " (ASOS, Jon XI)
I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister's son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly's boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We'd find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance's son and Craster's would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.
He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger . . . he could feel it. (ASOS, Jon XII)
What Arya thinks of that life:
Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?"
"You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon."
Arya screwed up her face. "No," she said, "that's Sansa." She folded up her right leg and resumed her balancing. Ned sighed and left her there. (AGOT, Eddard V)
And again:
Or if it is marriage and children you desire, tell me, and we shall find a husband for you. Some honest apprentice boy, a rich old man, a seafarer, whatever you desire."
She wanted none of that. Wordless, she shook her head. (AFFC, Arya II)
(Yes, she could change her mind about this one day, but for the purposes of the story GRRM is telling, Arya is very consistently not interested in this stuff.)
Jon desperately wants a traditional (highborn) marriage and family. His status prevents him from having that.
Arya could easily have that same thing. She does not want it. Not wanting it is what makes her an odd duck in the first place.
They are very close because they both relate to the feeling of not belonging and being shut out of the life they want, while both very much do not want the same things for their own respective lives.
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