#shes the most autistic animal in the house besides me

[friendlyneighborhoodamara]

(Edited on July 23, 2021)

So. Luz Noceda.

Quite possibly one of the best written protagonists in a Disney animated show, and easily one of my favorite protagonists in fiction.

Admittedly, if you know me, you may not be surprised I like her this much. I love kindhearted protagonists who are extremely energetic, unorthodox, goofy and proactive, and this describes Luz in spades. Even at her lowest points, she has a never-give-up attitude that’s just so endearing to me. In fact, I’ve described her as a female shonen protagonist to many of my friends in the past, and it’s not uncommon for people to compare Luz to Mabel (while she is also a rather complicated character I adore, this comparison is faulty for reasons I’ll get into shortly.)

If this was all there was to Luz—a warmhearted, generous dork who goes to any lengths to help the people she loves—I’d be satisfied. That relatively short, shallow description describes Goku almost to a T, and I absolutely love Goku, inside and out.

However, the writing staff of The Owl House, thankfully, chose to go the extra mile with Luz and flesh her out far beyond her superficial confines.

While all are extroverted, sweet girls, Luz differs from similar characters like Mabel Pines, Anne Boonchuy and Star Butterfly due to her far lower status on the social ladder: if Camila is to be believed, Luz - prior to entering the Boiling Isles - doesn’t have a single friend. Having a protagonist who is a disliked underdog with low self-esteem is far from new, especially in kids’ media. In some cases, it almost feels like a prerequisite to have the character be the victim of petty school bullies, even when they’re a skater punk high schooler played by a 27-year-old Andrew Garfield. However, in Luz’s case, her past as a teenage outcast (and implied history of bullying), her neurodivergence, and her subsequent retreat into fantasy as an escape informs every single facet of her characterization and cannot be stripped away from her without making her far less interesting.

How so?

Well, for starters, Luz is seen as frustrating or annoying by a lot of people, even the friends she made in the demon realm. In Season 1, even after the lesson she learns in the second episode, she is obsessed with living out her fantasy of being a fantasy hero just like the Good Witch Azura. This is a direct result of her retreating into fantasy and using it as a crutch to get through life. She tries to befriend her rival Amity the same way Azura did with her rival, tries to whip Willow and Gus into an all-star sports team using nothing but her own gumption, and is quick to accept any challenge that comes her way. This, understandably, does not endear her to other people.

Furthermore, as a result of her ostracization in the human realm (the great state of Connecticut, as we learn in the latest episode!), Luz, subtly, sees herself as a burden. This is why she almost never defends herself when people attack her, fairly or not. When Amity, enraged because Lilith humiliated her in her duel with Luz, demands Luz admit to not being a real witch, she acquiesces, despite having no real reason to. Even after she’s become Amity’s friend (and, unknowingly, her crush), even after Amity risked her own job to help her … Luz assumes that Amity hates her because she got fired from the library trying to help Luz … when Amity was the one who insisted they keep looking. Likewise, when the detention kids accuse her of being stuck-up, Luz accepts the rejection without a word of complaint, even though their accusation is based on incomplete information. And probably most heartbreakingly, at the start of Season 2, Luz calls herself a burden on Eda. After bringing so much life to this crusty old witch’s life, to the point of not only saving her from execution but playing a huge role in her reconnecting with her estranged sister, because of the way she’s been treated for much of her life, Luz can only imagine that Eda dreads her presence.

In short, Luz (1) blunders through many of her social interactions, often leading to negative first impressions, (2) takes those blunders on the chin and assumes they’re her fault even when they aren’t necessarily, and both those (3) flaws flow naturally from her backstory. That’s rather solid character writing that a lot of creators for children’s shows take for granted. Luz isn’t determined to fix what’s wrong just because; she’s determined to fix what’s wrong because, often, she believes that she is responsible for whatever has gone wrong. It’s a more realistic, and rather sad, look at a hero, compared to most Disney properties.

But, in my eyes, what makes this all work like gangbusters is how the other characters treat Luz.

Yes, even her friends and family can be annoyed by some of her more eccentric behavior. They acknowledge when she screws up and hold her accountable for those screw ups. But, for the first time in her life, someone (besides Camila, the real MVP) is giving her the unconditional love she deserves. Eda’s response to Luz saying she doesn’t want to be a burden, Amity saving Luz from Odalia and defying her mother for the first time, hell, even the Golden Guard seems to legitimately bond with Luz in their one episode together.

Given Luz’s status as a neurodivergent girl, as an autistic fan of this show, I can only imagine how comforting a lesson that is for the neurodivergent kids watching this: “Even if people don’t value you, even if you legitimately make mistakes, you still deserve unconditional love. You have value, damn what other people say.” Disney may be a shitty, evil corporation, but the Owl House crew really created something special, something richer than the average Disney cartoon, and that puts a smile on my face.

In short, you’re doing great sweetie. :)

#the owl house #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #eda the owl lady #eda the owl mom #amity blight #lumity #luz x amity #willow park #gus porter #king #hooty #the golden guard #lilith clawthorne #the owl house spoilers

[lvrexe]

Hey dear,

First off, congrats on 100 ❤️😘 Second, I would like to request a match up please ☺️

A general description of my appearance would be that I have long brown hair, pale skin, and grey eyes. Also I’m on the curvier side.

A few of my personality traits are that I’m extremely passionate to the point where it can be a little too much, I’m anxious most of the time, I’m a little shy when I first start talking to someone, I hate to amid it but I’m somewhat self centered sometimes, but I really do care about others and hate hurting their feelings, I’m an animal lover (cats in particular), but I hate insects and spiders, and I have been told that I’m funny on multiple occasions. Also I know this isn’t really a personality trait but I am mildly autistic.

As for hobbies, I work out, I go on nature walks, I eat sweets (like a lot)(like I don’t think I could be with a person who doesn’t like sweets), I watch anime, I watch horror movies, I read (novels mostly)(and only when I have the time), I play video games, I listen to music( rock and sometimes classical), and I write fanfiction lol

My pronouns are she/her and I would prefer a male character since I’m heteroromantic, but I’m also pansexual so I honestly wouldn’t mind a girl either.

Thank you 😊

I tried not going with the obvious answer but honestly, when I was scratching my head finding a character, the only person who truly came to mind was…

Uchiha Itachi

This match-up took me some time because I was just so damn determined not to pick the obvious answer but fuck, Itachi is just the perfect fit.

General

I’m imagining this as a non-massacre AU because I don’t think Itachi would be interested in romance while he’s off in the Akatsuki. But with your kind and caring nature, Itachi would be easily drawn to you. To be honest, as you open up to him, he’d be a bit shocked as you come out of your shy nature but he’d still enjoy your company. He’d enjoy the passion you hold about any topic and for your semi-self-centeredness? (don’t worry girl, I’m the same sometimes) He doesn’t care at all, he knows you truly do care for the people around you. Besides, he doesn’t mind as much as many others would, he’s not one to demand much attention, and if it gets out of hand, he’d be quick to point it out gently.

Itachi isn’t one to get too anxious but he understands your own feelings of anxiety and he’s always going to be by your side whenever it hikes up. Whatever makes you feel better, he’ll do it. He’s a calming figure and wants nothing else than seeing you relaxed.

Did you accidentally hurt someone? Itachi is quick to comfort you while brainstorming ideas to apologize or make it up. He knows it pains you to hurt someone and he will do his best to aid you.

Love Language

Itachi’s love language is easily quality time. Simply being beside you is enough to make his heart race. His job as a shinobi may hinder that and he most definitely would be feeling lonely during missions, seperated from you.

Taking walks through nature is one of his favourite things to do with you, especially after his training or your workouts. He adores the conversations the two of you have on these walks, especially as he relaxes from his training.

Spending your breaks with him eating sweets? Yes please. Besides the walks, Itachi also loves taking you to any sort of cafe in Konoha just to indulge in his sweet tooth with you.

Acts of Affection

— when/if you live together, you can expect waking up to be either nuzzled between his arms or waking up to the pleasant smell of breakfast being made. He also insists on doing the chores around the house such as the laundry, cleaning, washing dishes, he insists on taking on all of the chores.

— if you ask for help, he’ll provide tips and aid you in your workouts.

— when you’re stressed, Itachi embraces you and soothingly rubs your back as he reassures you. He often tangles his fingers in your hair all while he tries to raise your spirits.

— While he doesn’t like to admit it too much, he loves physical touch. Wrapping his arm around you, embracing you from behind or simply holding hands.

— His family adores you, Mikoto and Sasuke especially. Mikoto would always question Itachi when he’d bring you over again. “Oh Itachi, when is your friend coming by again? She’s very sweet!”

#🎀 — match up events

[angelswithcigarettes]

“To find a way to cope”

Summary: Morgan finds Spencer's notebooks filled with partly disturbing drawings and poems and learns once again how much of what Spencer feels he doesn't know how to express and how much happened in his childhood he never talks about.

AU: [This is an AU in which Morgan and Reid share a house (as friends). The parts can be read independently.]

Warnings: Past Sexual Abuse

Relevant Tags: Autistic Spencer Reid, Suicidal Thoughts

Word Count: 4626

First Chapter:

Notes: Since this series is the follow up serious to another one of mine "Green" (I will link it in the endnote) there can be some confusion if you haven't read it. But here is a short summary of it so you don't have to read it all and can still 'enjoy' this:

In the story "Green" Spencer gets together with Lola who abuses him following up this abuse he stays with Morgan who helps him recover as much as that is possible. Spencer doesn't want to go back to his apartment so Morgan decides that it is time for a change, they move in together in one of the houses Morgan renovated ones.

They each have their own privacy, their own floors including bathrooms and bedrooms and each of them has their own office but its not a secret to anyone that they also don't have much privacy because at some part after living together for so many years the embarrassment or shame for many things just faded.

However when Morgan picks up a box of books in the basement while looking for his old baseball equipment he feels bad when he looks inside of them.

They are notebooks, written in with black ink and he can tell that it's Spencer handwriting. There is a date on the corner, the note book is hardly a month old. He puts it away and grabs one from further down, revealing another date from eight years ago and he opens up a random page and starts reading.

"And if you look at me

Look at me for another moment

See me

If you really see me

Can you look at me the same again."

It's seems to be an attempt of poetry and Morgan opens another page finding a scetch of a person. Also in blank ink. Their hands scratching at their eyes, looking like they are screaming.

He reads another poem.

"Can you hear me screaming?

Did you hear me screaming for you? You hands burning my skin,you hands burning my innocence.

Can you hear me screaming?

In the latest night, can you hear me screaming?

Did you hear him burning my skin, his hands burning my innocence."

Morgan can feel an unsettling feeling spread through his body, these are too old to be from the time with Lola, judging by the date he must have been in his early twenties.

He looks into another notebook finding a lot of sketches and a few of them look similar to people Morgan had seen before, he figures they are unsubs and then he opens another scatch and it looks like a women, warning a gun holster and having a glass in her hand, her hair shoulder long and judging by the date this is Elle.

Morgan picks up another one, it is dated for approximately a year ago. The drawing shows their house but the windows are barricaded with wood and nails, only a light shining out of Morgan's room and a kitten is sitting in front of their doorstep, skinny and looking up to the doorbell handing in front of the door that is also barricaded.

The next one is a drawing from their kitchen and it shows Morgan, at least he thinks so, sitting at the table with his hand on his head the other around a coffee cup and on the kitchen counter are files stacked and the kitchen table is filled with overflowing cups.

There is a third, showing their bathroom and there is a liquid on the floor,again every drawing is held black ink but he guesses its blood and a handprint on the mirror and in front of the puddle and then there is a hand sticking out from behind the curtain from which the liquid drops down.

The fourth is what makes Morgan want take the notebook with him, it's a man standing in the door and by the tattoos he can make out that it is supposed to be him but he is wearing a mask and he is holding Spencer's stuff animal in his hand while wearing only Jean's and boots no shirt. Morgan can make out that this is supposed to be Spencer's room.

The worst he finds in that notebook is one of a women, sitting on a chair, her head leaned back and her arms sliced open, blood dripping down on the floor and by the necklace, the gun at her hip and the long slightly curly hair Morgan dares to assume that this is supposed to be JJ.

He puts the notebook aside and pulls out one from the time when he started at the BAU and the first drawing is of a little boy with glasses standing in the bullpen that is crowded with files. The second is a room filled with bees at the wall and an empty chair in the middle.

Morgan knew Spencer can draw he didn't know how well he does.

There are a few sketches of Morgan and Gideon and a lot of JJ. And many butterflies and with the ripped out pages in between he guessed that he draw them for her.

He quickly puts everything away when he hears Spencer walking down the stairs but goes back down to grab the one with the poem about the 'burning hands' the one with the sketch from Elle and the one with the drawings from the house and the women on the chair and for weeks he hides them in his office and eventually started profiling a few of them but quickly stopped that, feeling uncomfortable.

"What are you drawing?" He asks stepping into Spencer's office and the man shuts the notebook again.

"I don't draw."

"You don't?"

"No, I haven't in years."

"You haven't?"

"No, I am horrible at that." Morgan steps closer and it fits what he had found downstairs. The little pencil case open, only black pens inside and a pencil with a rubber. "What did you want?"

"Nothing just wanted to check in on you." Looking over he sees another stack of papers, and in a box next to his desk watercolours. "Its getting pretty stuffed in here."

"I like it. And I would like for you to leave now."

"I will." Apologetic Morgan takes his hands up and leaves the room.

There is a high chance that Spencer knows himself that his drawings are concerning and that that is the reason he is so defensive over people knowing he draws.

He keeps his findings a secret for a few more days until he gets to concerned and tries again talking to him about it but the moment he takes the word drawings in his mouth Spencer denies having drawn in the last years and accuses him of having sniffed around his office for things he draw as a teenager.

So he takes the notebooks and in a quiet moment walks up to Hotch's office who is similar concerned by them. For him the worst is one of Spencer himself, someone pressing a hand over his mouth and him into a pillow next to a poem about the lyrical I suffocating.

"There are more that hint at sexual abuse."

"He has a history we know that."

"Some are older than what happened with Lola."

"Did you try talking to him about these?"

"He claims he hasn't drawn in years." Hotch looks further through it finding more and more thinks he finds concerning.

"There are quite a lot of you."

"That's why I am here. I was hoping he maybe would rather talk to you about it. I can't explain why the drawings are portraying me like that." Hotch looks down on the page of a drawing of Morgan laying on the couch, the TV running but he is sleeping. On the table a ashtray with smoke coming from it on the floor next to the couch, multiple books that block his way and lianas hanging from the ceiling one close to curling itself completely around his neck.

"You have a theory?"

"My first guess was that something in the house made him feel captured, or even me but I am not sure."

"I would actually say that it's the opposite. That he feels like he captures you."

"Me?"

"This doesn't look like he is the one captured." He points at another painting showing Morgan standing in the kitchen, one half of his body having spiders all over it his other side being completely normal beside the fingers that in the end turn into bees and more bees flying away from it. "Are you okay?"

"You see this drawings and you ask if I am okay?"

"Besides that these drawing are definitely not something that leave you unaffected there are a few that a showing you in a vulnerable state he probably saw this before drawing it in his own interpretation."

"I am fine, I don't know why he draws me like that."

"Alright I will talk to him about it." Morgan initially wanted to go to JJ with this but she really doesn't need to see the drawings of herself being death by suicide. There is the one on the chair but also one hanging out of a tree with wings on her back.

For Hotch the most disturbing once are the two from a child, being beaten and in the other drawing having wings sitting on top of a clip, stars around them.

Morgan brings him the other notebooks too and in the earlier once its clear that he draws what he sees on cases and around himself. The poems not so much.

But the younger the note books the more it concerns his friends and random children.

Hotch doesn't find many of himself, but there is a notebook around the time Emily died that breaks his heart and when she came back the drawings change to something with more anger and eventually one that shows Spencer and him sitting in his office, Spencer looking at Hotch, Hotch doing the same but behind Hotch stands Emily or JJ he can't tell having a hand on his shoulder and covering his mouth while Spencer has a ghost behind him, covering his eyes.

He thinks long about if he wants to talk to him about the notebooks because Spencer seems to use this to cope and that is a good thing no matter how violent they look but on the other hand it seems like something is really bothering him so after weeks of debating he hands Morgan the box back saying that it feels wrong for him to interfere and Morgan first gets angry but then agrees that it is better if he first talks to him and then can offers Spencer to talk to Hotch if he rather wants that.

So eventually Morgan breaks the ice at a dinner picking up the box and placing it on the table. "You know what this is?"

"A box"

"You know what's in it?" He asks and Spencer nods with worry in his eyes. "I found it in the basement while cleaning it out."

"Did you-" Nervous he bites on the inside of his lip.

"I did"

"They are mine" He tells him, the fear clearly audible in his voice.

"I know, I am just a little bit worried about you, there is some pretty dark stuff in there."

"You weren't supposed to see."

"But I did and I just want to make sure that everything is alright."

"Yes they are just drawings."

"They are not just drawings."

"And poems."

"Not what I mean kid" Morgan grabs the notebook on top and sits down in front of him opening the page with the drawing of their house. "Is this our house?"

"Yes"

"Can you tell me why you draw this?" Spencer shrugs ones, tears in his eyes. "These are yours and I am not judging you or am mad I just think that some of these, because this notebook was finished a few weeks ago, need talking about. And I am just trying to help you."

"I don't know why I draw this."

"What about the cat? Is that Garfield?" Garfield is an old cat they adapted years ago and died.

"Yes"

"You still miss him?"

"Sometimes I wish he comes home again but then nothing is open here anymore."

"Garfield is dead and even if he wasn't dead when we got the call he would be by now." Morgan tells him in a gentle voice. "So this is about Garfield not coming back in,not you feeling captured in here?"

A nod.

"See that's why I think talking about this is good because I completely miss interpreted this."

"Did you see all of them?"

"Yes"

"All of them?"

"Yeah, I looked through them." He nods and then a tears rolls down his face. "Come on we go over to the couch for this, we cuddle up with your stuff lion and we talk about these, you can lean against me no need to look me in the eyes or for me to see your face." Morgan over the years found out that that is what makes him feel the most comfortable while talking. Either on car rides when Morgan can't tear his eyes from the road or while walking somewhere or placed so that Morgan isn't looking into his face.

Spencer ignores the offer to get his stuff animal from upstairs but he takes the thick blanket while Morgan pulls out the cautions from underneath making the couch bigger and then leans against him and Morgan opens the next page.

It's the drawing from Morgan in the kitchen, the files everywhere and the cups on the table. "What's with the Cubs?"

"I don't remember."

"Mr I have an eidetic memory that's very hard to believe."

"Sometimes everything gets dirty in our kitchen."

"And that bothers you?"

"I try cleaning it but it seems like it doesn't get better even when everything is properly stored."

"And the files?"

"It always happens when we have many cases after another and then it isn't fun coming home anymore."

"Because its dirty?"

"Because it's all tight" He tries to explain how the house feels to him. "We can't move in here."

"Is that the same thing you wanted to express with this?" Morgan asks opening the page of him laying on the couch with the lianas from the ceiling.

"Yes and- and that I- that I take your energy away."

"Okay one point after the other, what is it with the house being to tight? We have a lot of space and a lot of garden and everything, what makes it tight?"

"I don't know sometimes it just is." He tells him moving his head back on Morgan's arm shutting his eyes for a moment and then breathing in deeply.

"We don't have to do this all now if its to much for you" He tells him worried about how this affects Reid. "You just explain it the best way you think I will see about the rest."

"You won't get me."

"I do, it's tight in here sometimes, like you can't move."

"Yes"

"And cleaning doesn't help"

"Yes"

"See not that bad"

"It makes me feel bad." He continues and then hits his thigh ones. "Like I need to run."

"Like you need to run?"

"Yes. Like I have to move. Like my legs haven't moved enough."

"Because it's to tight in here?"

"Yes."

"What about you taking my energy away? What do you mean by that?" Spencer turns his head away not looking at the page but then eventually speaks.

"I am really not an easy friend."

"For me you are."

"No I am not."

"You are not taking my energy away."

"You could do a lot more thinks if it wasn't for me." Spencer justifies his statement.

"Like what?" But he just shakes his head still facing away from him and Morgan tries encouraging him to talk to Hotch but Spencer denies the offer so Morgan moves his hand down around his waist and pulls him closer again. "C'mon you did so good with the first drawings and we won't have to talk about this one any more we can just move on to another.”

Rest on Ao3 (I can’t post more words in here I’m sorry):

#criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #ao3 author #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #autistic spencer reid #jennifer jareau

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

----------

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

#survey #surveys #random questions

[des-draws]

1-A autistic hcs!

Alright it’s already past midnight here but. I’m still posting this.

Back in my 1-A pride hcs post I also mentioned my autistic hcs, and said I might elaborate on them in April. But because I am a master of procrastination, of course I left it for last minute. 

But either way, here you go; over 3k of projection and infodumping. I’m gonna leave an AO3 link in the replies if it’s easier for you to read there.

(general tw for some mentions of ableism, and specifically tw for ableism/child abuse/ende*vor in the very first bulletpoint)

Todoroki

Ende*vor absolutely refused to believe that there could be something “wrong” with the one supposed to surpass All Might, and so he ignored any and all traits Todoroki would show, punished him for the ones he couldn’t ignore, and chalked up the meltdowns he caused him to Todoroki being a brat.

As such, Todoroki spent a lot of his life masking and hiding and suppressing himself.

Thankfully, much like with everything else, after moving to the dorms he’s starting to unlearn all that internalized shit and instead accept himself for who he is- including indulging in suppressed stims, special interests and other autistic behaviours in a safe, accepting environment. 

He’s found that cold soba is apparently a samefood for him- he knew he liked it enough to eat it all the time without getting bored of it (not that he actually does, since with their hero training a balanced, diverse diet is important), but he didn’t know there was a word for that.

Monotone voice and trouble with facial expressions, you know how it goes. He actually tries to use the “correct” tone and make the “correct” expression, if only so that the people he’s supposed to protect don’t think of him as “aloof”, but he gets easily tired of going back to the masking. He cares, he cares so much, this is just not one of the ways of showing it that comes to him naturally.

Can people please stop talking in metaphors and idioms around him and expect him to know the translation to everything. Thank you.

He’s reluctantly letting himself indulge in his recently discovered special interest on a certain manga series; he’s been buying the volumes, and at some point Sero found him reading one and they started bonding over it. Now Todoroki goes to Sero when he feels like infodumping- though, he has to be careful not to spoil anything. Sero is a way behind since he doesn’t go through the volumes like someone’s chasing him. He has, however, helped Todoroki make a blog where he can infodump about it, spoilers and all. He’s quickly becoming “fandom famous”, Sero says- and even though Todoroki’s not sure what that means yet, he’s very happy to see others as into the series as he is.

Iida gives him stim and fidget toys all the time- Todoroki is reluctant to keep them as the other says, since he could buy them himself, but Iida insists. Todoroki especially likes the tangles. He’s building himself quite the collection.

He’s also invested in some high-quality sound-cancelling headphones. Long overdue, but better late than never.

Favorite stim: TBA, although clenching his fists around his thumbs is something he’s always done- even before he had a name for it, or knew why it was so comforting. 

Midoriya

His special interests are Quirks and All Might (the Hero Persona™ rather then the person)! He can infodump about different quirks and theories on how to use them and “what if x quirk exists how would that work” for hours. He’s spent entire evenings arguing on forums about which of All Might’s hero outfits was most efficient and useful for what was needed. Inko, on more than one occasion, had to lure him out of his room with the promise of a rare comic book so he would eat something.

On that same vein, he is appalled by some of his classmates’ hero costumes. He’s too polite to be that crass about it out loud, but in his brain he’s always going “what in the everloving fuck is this???? Who let a teenager go into battle naked???? Did she just go ‘oh yea give me a pair of gloves and boots and I’m set’ and they let her??? Who agreed to this?? Nothing tracking her vitals, nothing keeping her warm in fucking December????? This is just irresponsible”

So you can imagine the rants he goes into when one of them does ask him for advice on how to update their costume.

He likes visual stims a lot- you know that thing where you shut your eyes and wave a bright phone screen in front of them? He loves that

Having trouble emotionally regulating means lots of crying. Not a bad thing, just. A thing. That a lot of people don’t expect when they first meet him.

Inko has always tried her best to accommodate him, but there’s only so much to do when they’re just getting by. He’s very understanding though. She gets into making DIY stim toys for him, and as he grows up he joins in and it’s a very pleasant pastime for the two of them (to the point that he’d rather keep them as mementos of the time spent together than use them for stimming).

Favorite stim: Hand-flapping and back-and-forth rocking!! Classic and good!

Iida

No volume control we die like men (he’s trying to work on it but a lot of the time he’s louder than he realizes. His friends never fault him for it tough.)

Always loved putting his toys in a line- lines are neat! Don’t you see how tidy everything looks now? This is fun! Unfortunately, kids his age didn’t have the same opinion and just chalked it up to him being a “neat freak”.

The kind to separate his food into sections. He had to get used to eating with company in school, since no one wanted to sit with him during lunchtime before, lest they be subjected to his “bizarre eating habits”.

His family is, thankfully, very supportive and accommodating. They were a little worried when he moved into the dorms, but he reassured them that his classmates are just as accepting and understanding. And besides, he’s not the only “out” neurodivergent kid around anymore!

Has copied the language habits of his parents around Important Customers and never stopped. No one in his family talks quite as formally as he does in casual settings, but hey, better to be too formal than too informal and be considered rude, right?

Owns quite the collection of stim toys. Cubes, squishies, tangles, slime, kinetic sand- you name it, he has it! It’s not so much for himself, since he has a few favorites and sticks to them, but keeps the rest more so for anyone else that might need them.

He’s partial to the fidget pen- he likes fidget cubes too, but they’re usually a little small for his hands and harder to work with.

Doesn’t use memes quite right, but is always eager to learn where they originated from. Kaminari (always good-heartedly) never misses an opportunity to explain them to him, and gets so proud when one of Iida’s attempts lands.

He was kind of worried he’d look out of place on stage in the Cultural Festival, but with his friends reassuring him it’s alright, not only did he go out there, but had lots of fun as well!

Very routine focused. He loses half an hour of sleep and he’s already thinking about re-structuring his entire schedule.

Orange juice is a samefood. That boy need his orang juice

Special interest in the mechanics that go into hero costumes and quirk-assisting gadgets. It’s why he was so eager to accept help from Hatsume during the sports festival (he has mixed feelings about this one), and he’s sure they would work well together if only she stopped trying to make him a test subject.

It’s also something he and Midoriya can spend hours going back and forth about. Iida doesn’t usually lose track of time, but he can’t help it when such an interesting conversation is happening!

Screw “quiet hands”. In this house we wave our hands around intensely enough to almost smack someone (“but not actually smack them!! Always be aware of your surroundings!!”)

Favorite stim: Believe it or not, running! The wind resistance, the stomp of his feet, is all Very Good!!

Kirishima

He used to chew stuff a lot- first as a way to get used to his new, sharper teeth, and then because he just liked how very stimmy it is! But he’d also chew stuff that’s not really supposed to be put your mouth so his moms helped him find healthier stim alternatives, since actual chewelry were either a) not stimmy enough, b) wrong texture or c) destroyed too quickly and he’d just go back to chewing unhealthy stuff.

Since he’s grown enough to not go through chewelry at a breakneck pace, he keeps a couple at hand for when he’s studying- helps him focus! He was kinda embarrassed to bring one to his and Bakugou’s study sessions at first, but after Bakugou admitted that he’s also autistic he started keeping one on his person during them- assuring the other that he’s taking proper care of washing it and everything.

He used to bite on his hands as well- still does when he's under extreme stress (imagine summer camp/AFO showing up at Kamino levels of stress) even though he's grown out of it for the most part.

Hyper-Empathy Station. Makes him good with people (and animals) but leaves him exhausted more often than not.

“Hey don’t you get tired of sticking your hair up like that every d-” “It’s routine bro you can’t just quit it that would be chaos”

Whether he wears it up or not, his hair always seems to be a very good tactile stim, both for him and, surprisingly, Bakugou. When it’s up, the pointy spikes are very satisfying to run one’s hands over, just rough enough to slightly scratch the palm, but just light enough to not completely bring them down. When it’s down, Bakugou doesn’t miss an opportunity to touch it, which works for Kirishima too, since having people run their fingers through his hair is very relaxing to him.

He Cannot handle kinetic sand and most slimes. It either feels grainy and dry or too wet and sticky. The crunchy sound sand makes when it’s cut is like nails on a chalkboard in his head. It’s just not for him.

Gullible. Please be nice to him he just wants to believe in the good in everyone

Special interest on Crimson Riot!! I mean, come on; basing his hero persona on him, naming himself after him? Turning to interviews of his in moments of doubt and uncertainty, finding comfort in media about him? Yeah

Has a couple Comfort Sweaters™ and a single comfort plushie- a shark one, the first gift his Ma got him when she met his mom. It’s been patched and stitched up dozens of times, and barely holds itself together, which is why he never takes it out of its safe place in the closet unless he’s seriously in need for some comfort and has already exhausted all other options.

Bro, We Are Autistic . Its Ok To Stim Around Me . Im Ur Best Friend . I Love You . ... Bro, We Are Infodump ing Now . . No Dont Stop Bro .. Bro ...

Favorite stim: Bumping his hardened fists together!! Sometimes he’ll simply rub his hardened knuckles back and forth together- it’s more discreet, and while not as satisfactory, still good for emotional regulation.

Bakugou

Branded a problem child early on, Bakugou had the majority of his meltdowns called “tantrums” instead. So he decided that if everyone treats him like a brat, he might as well be one.

Even before he started losing his hearing, he had some auditory processing issues- which is why he hates hates hates when Midoriya mutters (and similarly, why he didn’t immediately turn his back to Kirishima- the guy talks loud and clear like 95% of the time. Bakugou can appreciate that, even if he won’t say it).

Face blindness is inconvenient as all hell, which is why he gives people ridiculous nicknames: connecting names to faces is difficult enough, and at the beginning he doesn’t really care to try and memorize them anyway, so he just finds a prominent characteristic to remember each of them by. 

[Insert Smart Guy Meme] “You can’t be deceived by fake politeness and sarcastic compliments if you react aggressively to everything people say to you”

Loves his routine and having everything planned. If you drag him into something out of nowhere and disrupt his schedule he will be mad at you for a week minimum (something his friends found out the hard way)

Prolonged human interaction is absolutely exhausting, more than any quirk training exercise, and he gets cranky at the speed of light when he reaches his limit. As time goes on he does find a few people (first Kirishima and then progressively the rest of the Bakusquad) that aren’t as exhausting for him to be around for longer and longer. He still needs his alone time, but now he knows that he can recharge around them as well, if he feels like having company.

Drumming is Very Good stim-wise. So is spicy food, which is why he likes it so much.

Pressure stims are The Worst for him- weighted blankets, tight vests, anything at all that might constrict him in any way? He Will react like cats do to cucumbers. The only exception is that once in a while, when he’s exhausted but can’t seem to ground himself enough to drift off, he’ll ask Kirishima to just. Lie on him, also like cats do, just until he falls asleep.

This is a No Socks Zone. These foot prisons are absolute sensory hell, and with how sweaty he gets it’s only made worse. 

How Can People Talk About Emotions While Simultaneously Looking Each Other In The Eye This Feels Disgusting I Will Blow Something Up: an autobiography

Favorite stim: Tiny explosions popping in his palms. Sure, grand light shows are fine and all but small ones, just big enough to feel through the roughed-up skin of his palms have a certain calming effect. Sucks that people immediately jump to assuming he’s threatening them when he’s just trying to cool down.

Tsuyu

Very blunt. She doesn’t mean to be rude, but sometimes it comes across like it when she’s only trying to be honest and offer advice.

Raptor hands 24/7. what an icon

Has trouble with physical contact in the sense that she’s??? not really sure how to do it??? She offers hugs and hands to hold left and right but it always feels like she’s just. doing it. Like how one would tie a loose shoelace or button up a shirt. It’s not like she hates it, but her nonchalance when someone does hug her makes people assume she’s being cold- which is not the case at all! She’s just offering comfort in a way she knows other people will understand even if it’s not really doing much for her.

Jelly is a samefood! She likes sour apple jelly the best 

Kind of a black-and-white mind. She’s working on seeing the world in shades of grey though, since she saw how her Absolute thinking can impact her friends.

Low/no empathy. She hates that to some people’s eyes that automatically makes her a bad person. Kindness is a choice, one that she doesn’t need empathy to make every day.

Favorite stim: Her near constant kero-kero-ing is very much a vocal stim, as well as echolalia!

Yaomomo

Makes her own stim toys using DIYs rather than her quirk, and is very eager to make any personalized ones for her friends! 

She also likes experimenting with what kinds of textures she can make using her quirk.

Has a semi-popular account where she uploads videos of her playing with slime and kinetic sand regularly.

Much like Iida, she adopted the more formal ways of speaking from her parents and house staff and has trouble toning it down (not that anyone faults her for it).

Very picky about who touches her. She genuinely does not want to come off as the Snobbish Rich Girl but sometimes when someone touches her with no warning or consent she feels like crawling out of her skin 

In the exact same vein, she was extremely hesitant to admit that the futons at the training camp drove her up the wall with that hellish texture. She didn’t want to be the nitpicky one and make a new one using her quirk, either. If anything good came out of the disaster that was the training camp, it was that she didn’t have to sleep on it another night, she thinks (and then feels terrible about it).

Her special interest is tea! Like, actual tea that you drink. Just look at how she lights up when she gets an opportunity to talk about it, or make some for others!! It’s also a samefood for her- she tries to be diverse, but there are a couple with juuust the right combination of smell and taste that she will always go back to.

Sometimes she won’t even drink any- just the process of making it is extremely comforting.

Favorite stim: Double-sided sequins! Tactile-visual stim combo!

Koda

Largely nonverbal. Talking to people is too stressful 99% of the time. Animals are way better listeners anyway.

No volume control we die like men part 2 (but it’s the complete opposite from Iida, in that he can never seem to raise his voice enough)

Likes his peace and quiet, and can easily go into sensory overload if one too many sounds are happening at once. He wants to invest in some headgear for his hero costume that helps him tune out distracting sounds so he can focus on matters at hand while still being able to hear and help those in need.

A plushie hoarder if I ever saw one. His room is the Ultimate Comfort Corner. 

Favorite stim: Humming to himself. Reluctant to do it in the presence of others, but increasingly comfortable around friends.

Aizawa 

Samefoods with those juice pouches he always keeps around

Permanently exhausted due to having to interact with people

Talks in a monotone and has trouble making expressions

His sleeping bag is very good pressure stim. It’s also very hard for him to replace it, because it has to be Just Right, so by the time he does find one that is Just Right, the old one is practically falling apart.

The only reason he’ll sleep in a bed is if Mic is there to share it with him. Otherwise it’s too cold and exposed and weighted blankets can only do so much.

He kinda misses the time before he got top surgery for the sole reason that binders offered a very comforting pressure stim. However, he acknowledges that it’s for the best he got it, since a lot of the time he’d bind for longer than it’s safe. He was lucky to still have the option of getting surgery.

(this has been a safe binding psa, please don’t do what he did)

He does however, tend to wear a tight, though still breathable undershirt at near all times. 

As much as he complains about Mic’s mustache, he actually likes it. He tried to kiss Mic once when he shaved it for the first time in forever and instantly went “yea no. This isn’t working. Feels wrong and bad, Put It Back™”. Didn’t kiss him again until it grew back.

Everything Happens So Much

He talks back to cats. Like, actually meows back at them. Very good echolalia, makes Mic’s day to walk into a scene like this

Favorite stim: Petting cats! The fur of different breeds offers a variety in texture and when they start purring a very good auditory stim is added to the mix! And when they sit on him and add a pressure stim? Cats are the whole package!!

That’s all (for now?) Thanks for reading!! Hope you had a nice Autism Acceptance Month!!!

#autistic headcanon #autism acceptence month #bnha headcanons #aizawa shouta #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #iida tenya #asui tsuyu #yaoyorozu momo #kouda kouji #des writes sometimes

[moonlitmessages]

Reasons I think Saeyoung has ADHD

- Messy house. Hard to keep it clean. Everything just kinda piles up and he relies on Vanderwood to not live in a pig sty.

- He says early in his route (day five first story mode I think. When Vanderwood is first introduced) he says that Dr. Pepper helps him focus. He drinks it and gets super focused, but then the mess piles up even more because of the soda cans.

- Super smart, especially about very specific niches. I mean he's smart in general but also has his Thing™ (this can be applied to both ADHD and the autistic spectrum. )

- Insomnia. This is part of his work obviously as well but he's clear about the fact that his sleep schedule is hecking out of whack.

- Can't focus?? Let's do everything besides the thing we need to do. Even though it will do nothing to help the situation at hand.

- Cars. Going nyoom down the road could help with stimulation and sensory issues that come with ADHD. Something about the speed just makes it make sense.

- Hyperfocus. "Don't bother me I'm trying to work". Being so focused on work that he doesn't take the time to really even order a hot meal. Forgets to eat and sleep sometimes because of it. (a lot of instances it's simply that he CAN'T or he won't meet deadlines too so that also has to be kept in mind). Building robots out of thin air too is an example.

- Inattentive. When not super focused its almost like a disinterest in anything. His focus is on MC? Well gotta do something for MC. She'll like a flamethrower pup. That will keep her safe. Wait no it wont...I thought it would tho. Gotta work!! No but MC isn't safe. (Inattentive to his work cause super focused on MC)

Symptoms of ADHD include:

Disorganization 

     - This goes along with the messy house. There’s a picture where he’s shown surrounded by chip crumbs. Vanderwood claims that his couch smells like soda. There are likely aspects in which he can actually be quite organized, but those would likely be in reference to his job, and computer/automotive repair.

Lack of focus 

    - This happens a little bit through different routes, where he complains about not being able to focus and doing some procrastinating, but for the most part the biggest example is the very beginning of his route where his focus is faltered because his mind is on MC. While that is a normal reaction to have for anyone regarding what was going on, it can’t be ignored that 1.) He WAS unfocused to the point he couldn’t do anything besides worry, or work on things that ‘Could help protect MC” regardless of if they were useful or not. and 2.) Dr. Pepper is part of the reason he is able to focus on things when he DOES focus. He says this himself in the first story-mode for his route. That he drinks it, then gets super focused. Caffeine has been proven to actually help the ADHD brain focus.

Act or speak without thinking 

    - “Im leaving the RFA”, breaking the RoboCat, and some of his procrastinating during his route could be considered put into this category. Also, I know he is by all technicalities saying things with thought in regard to MC when he’s saying hurtful stuff, however I still think it could be put in here because while it was said with the thought “I want to make sure MC stays away from me so she will be safe,” it’s without thinking about how he feels/what he wants and he ends up regretting it down the road.

Restlessness 

    - Lets see, he has trouble focusing and when he can’t focus he ends up doing other stuff to keep his hands and mind busy. He has sleep troubles. I doubt he can sit still very easily if he isn’t super-focused on something life-or-death and/or a special interest. A good example could once again be the robo-animals he built. His focus was somewhere else, there’s little he can do to remedy the situation, he gets restless and tries to occupy himself with something he CAN focus on.

Difficulty coping with stress 

    - Source: His Whole Route

Mood Swings 

    - What I’m seeing as mood swings could also just easily be his stress and anxiety in the situation during his route causing him to bounce back and forth/ the mask he tries to put up to protect MC from getting involved with him being thrown up when he feels like he’s letting her to close. But nonetheless there are points where he will just seem sad and melancholy then get angry. 

Anxiety 

   - I mean idrk how to explain this one for him, I don’t necessarily think that he has social anxiety, but maybe general anxiety (tho I’m not really sure how to explain how I see that in him) but regardless when he does experience pressure, he seems to have heightened anxiety levels. It just makes sense in my head so take this one a little lighter than the others. 

Low self esteem 

    - ‘I’m not a good person” “Why do you like me?” I would say that when it comes to his looks he’s fairly confident. But when it comes to his personality (I mean he has a whole identity crisis) and actions, it’s a whole other story. He puts himself down a lot because he genuinely thinks that he doesn’t deserve MC and that she should be with someone better than him.

Impulsiveness 

    - Again, breaking Robocat. Felt impulsive and done without thought. His car rides could also be considered impulsive depending on how risky and speedy they may be. I recall at one point he texts MC while driving. 

Trouble controlling anger 

    - Source: His Whole Route

Procrastination 

   - I feel like I keep bringing up the robo animals a lot, but they were also a form of procrastinating his work. (I suppose there are a lot of things that could be tied to those animals then, or maybe I’m just reading to deep into things). Uhm, idk I can’t think of anymore examples atm, and I know he tries not to procrastinate super important stuff. I feel like if I were to play the game again (it’s been a couple weeks) I would be able to find more examples for this even on a minor scale. Sometimes him teasing Yoosung could be seen as both him trying to relieve some stress and put off doing his work.

~•⭐ D e p r e s s i o n ⭐•~ 

- Yes I know his depression comes from trauma and abuse. However ADHD overlaps with different disorders quite commonly. A lot of his ADHD symptoms overlap with depression as well, such as the disorganization, mood swings, and insomnia. And depression can very often accompany ADHD too just simply due to the fact that mental illnesses do tend to come in multiples, and also the ADHD itself can be a contributor to depression.

Those are 12 different signs that he might have ADHD...and of course I’m no doctor. Everything that I listed were things that I found through an attempt to analyze him and his route, and online research regarding ADHD. I’m sure there are things I might have over-analyzed and taken some things out of context as it has been a couple weeks since I finished his route...So feel free to add your own thoughts/opinions, regardless of if you think I’m right or wrong. This has been in my drafts for a while and I finally got it finished and will likely go through editing later but I want to post it now. If anything is hard to understand let me know and it will get fixed to the best of my ability.

#saeyoung #saeyoung choi #mysme #luciel choi #707 #mystic messenger #adhd 707 #adhd saeyoung choi #707 headcanons #luciel choi headcanons #saeyoung headcanons #adhd #okay so also note that the first half of this post are the things that primarily gave me the suspicion that he has adhd #the second half are symptoms of ADHD with certain behaviors cited #that i noticed through his route to show why I think they apply to him #also I havent proofread this because I myself am procrastinating and after I post this I'm off to do the thing Im procrastinating #idk if/when I'll edit this but I fully plan on making it a little more comprehensible #707 spoilers #Route spoilers #Mysme spoilers

[millie1536]

Autistic Bessie meets Maria and Maggie for the first time! I finally finished it!

TW: Mentions of death (accidental, suicide and murder), Spiders, Mentions of tarantula death (AKA why you don’t handle tarantulas more than a foot off the ground)

Disclaimer: I love tarantulas but I’ve never had any as pets (Hopefully I can get one when I’m older) so everything about Ebony is based on what I’ve read and watched about them.

“Bessie, sweetheart,” Joan sighed as she shifted slightly to relieve some of the pain in her leg, “I need to get up, alright?” Bessie whimpered and snuggled closer to Joan. It had been three days since Joan had been able to do anything resembling housework and the house was beginning to resemble a dump.

“Why don’t you go clean Ebony’s terrarium?” Joan asked, trying to coax the young girl off her lap.

“Cuddles.” Bessie mumbled as she tightened her arms around Joan’s shoulders.

“I know, sweetie, I want to have cuddles, too,” Joan said gently, running a hand through Bessie’s long hair, “But I need to wash up and do some laundry and you told me yesterday that you needed to clean Ebony’s tank.” Bessie hummed in response.

“Then cuddles?” She asked, sitting up.

“Yes, once we’ve cleaned up around here we can watch a movie and cuddle for the rest of the day.” Joan agreed, smiling as she watched Bessie jump off her and run upstairs.

 Just as the last of the dish water drained from the sink Joan heard a knock at the front door. She stood at the sink for a moment trying to remember if she had made plans with anyone before a second set of knocks got her moving.

“Oh thank god,” said a voice as Joan opened the door, “I thought we were going to have to break a window or something.”

“Maggie? What-“

“Your mum called,” Maggie told her, “She said you needed help around the house and I figured it was as good an excuse as any for us to meet our new niece.”

“I told her we should have called first.” Maria added.

“But where’s the fun in that?” Maggie asked, seemingly offended by the suggestion that she forewarn her cousin before dropping by, “So, where is this new kid of yours?”

“She’s upstairs,” Joan said, stepping aside to let her cousin and her best friend past, “I’ll go tell her you’re here. Hopefully she’ll come down once she’s finished with Ebony.”

“Who’s Ebony?” Maria asked, “Has she got a pet or something?”

“Yeah,” Joan nodded, “A tarantula.” Joan couldn’t help but laugh at the way Maria’s widened with fear.

“A tarantula?” Maria repeated, “As in a big fury spider that could kill all of us?”

“No, as in a big fury spider that, if she were to bite us, could hurt us but is definitely not able to kill us.” Despite Joan’s assurance that Bessie’s tarantula would not kill anyone Maria didn’t seemed convinced.

Between the three of them Maggie, Maria and Joan managed to tidy up the main area of the house in less than half an hour.

“Who want’s coffee?” Maria asked as they surveyed their work.

“I’ve only got decaf.” Joan warned as Maria moved towards the pantry.

“You? Decaf?” Maggie stared at Joan in disbelief, “Who are you and what have you done to Joey?” Joan just shrugged.

“I can’t risk a caffeine overdose with Bessie here,” She sighed, “and the easiest way to prevent it is to just take caffeine out of the equation all together.”

“How are you coping?” Maria asked gently, sitting beside Joan on the sofa, the coffee completely forgotten.

“I’m fine,” Joan smiled weakly, “It’s just caffeine.”

“I’m not just talking about caffeine, love,” Maria put an arm around Joan’s shoulders, pulling her into a side hug, “How are you coping with everything? How’s Bessie?” Joan sighed, letting her head fall onto Maria’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” She admitted, “Bessie seems fine most of the time but it’s hard to tell. I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Have you asked your mum? She might have some tips, you were about Bessie’s age when you were adopted, weren’t you?” Maggie asked, trying to remember how old she and Joan were when they first met.

“Yeah,” Joan nodded, “But I didn’t have anywhere near the trauma Bessie has. My dad died in motorcycle accident a few days after I was born and my mum killed herself when I was 3 months old.” Joan shrugged, she seemed to be the least distressed of the trio when it came to her parents’ death.

“Do…” Maria paused, unsure whether or not she had any right to ask her question, “Do you know what happened to Bessie’s parents?”

“You remember John Blount?” Joan asked.

“The guy who went crazy and killed his pregnant wife? Yeah, I remember.” Maria nodded.

“Turns out they had a five year old daughter,” Joan told her friends, “They kept it out of the papers for privacy reasons.” A heavy silence descended on the room.

“And Bessie…” Maggie tried but could seem to get the words out.

“Yes,” Joan said, her bottom lip trembling slightly at the thought of it, “She hasn’t brought it up and I haven’t asked her yet, I’m not sure if I ever will.”

The three women stayed huddled together until the sound of small feet running down the stairs pulled them out of their comfortable silence.

“Bessie,” Joan said, in what was becoming her ‘mum’ voice, “Please don’t run on the stairs.”

“Sorry!” Bessie called out, louder than necessary.

“We’re working on volume control,” Joan said quietly to Maggie and Maria who couldn’t help but smile a little. Then as Bessie rounded the corner, “Bessie, this is my cousin Maggie and our friend Maria.”

“Hello.” Bessie gave a small nod, unsure of what she was meant to do.

“I didn’t know they would be dropping by,” Joan said gently, moving to kneel in front of Bessie, “If I had I would have told you, alright? I promise.” Again Bessie nodded then, leaning closer to Joan, whispered,

“What am I meant to do?” Joan smiled warmly at the young girl.

“There’s no right or wrong. You can stay with us, you can go up to your room or into the backyard, you could take Maggie upstairs to see your collection, or-“

“What about Maria?” Bessie asked, her head tilting to one side.

“Maria isn’t particularly fond of spiders.” Joan told her.

“I bet Ebony could change her mind.” Bessie said confidently.

“I’m sure she could,” Joan agreed, she herself had become rather fond of the spider, “But not today, alright?”

“Alright,” Bessie agreed before nervously looking over to the women on the couch, “Um… Maggie? Would you like to meet my pets?” She quickly looked back at Joan who gave her an encouraging nod.

“I would love to,” Maggie smiled widely, “What sort of pets do you have?”

“Well,” Bessie began as she lead Maggie upstairs, “I have Ebony, she’s a Brazilian Black Tarantula, then there’s…” Joan and Maria exchanged looks as Bessie and Maggie disappeared up the stairs.

“Something tells me the two of them are going to get along just fine.” Maria laughed.

“I mean that was never not an option, really. You know what Maggie’s like.” Joan grinned but there was a hint of something else in her eyes, sadness? Anger? Maria couldn’t place her finger on it but she decided that whatever it was it was between Joan and Maggie.

 “She’s beautiful,” Maggie gasped as she looked at the large spider on the other side of the glass, “But I thought you said she was a Brazilian Black?”

“She is.” Bessie told her.

“But she’s brown.” Maggie said, not taking her eyes off the spider.

“Oh, that’s because she hasn’t moulted yet,” Bessie explained, “Sometimes they are brown until their first moult and then they turn black.”

“They can really change that much?” Maggie asked, looking to Bessie.

“Yeah, it’s really cool.” Bessie said proudly.

“Is she friendly?” Maggie asked, wanting to keep the conversation going. Bessie shrugged.

“It depends on the day. Tarantulas are kind of like cats,” She explained, “Sometimes they want to be near you and sometimes they don’t.”

“So, it’s an eight legged cat that can kill you?” A voice asked, Maria and Joan had been watching from the doorway as Bessie talked about her spider.

“The four legged ones can kill you, too,” Bessie told Maria, “People get scratched and they don’t realise how much bacteria gets under a cats claws and so they don’t clean it properly and sometimes people get really bad infections and some have died.” Maria turned to Joan.

“Remind me never to get a cat.” She said.

“You don’t have to be scared of animals,” Bessie said as she picked up a paintbrush, “Watch this.” Carefully so as not to spook Ebony Bessie removed the lid from her terrarium. Maggie and Maria watched in awe as the girl gently tapped the spider’s abdomen.

“See?” Bessie didn’t take her eyes of the animal, “She’s very docile today, if she had turned around and tried to bite the paintbrush then it means she wants to be left alone but she didn’t so I could pick her up if I wanted to,” Bessie giggled at the look of horror on Maria’s face, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to pick her up here. Whenever I handle her I move the tank to the floor so that if she falls she won’t get hurt. Tarantulas are actually really fragile, if I were to drop her from this height,” She held her hand level with her waist, “She’d die because her abdomen is so big that it would burst on impact with the floor.”

“You know a lot about tarantulas.” Maggie told the girl, again Bessie shrugged.

“They’re not like dogs and cats where you can kind of learn how to look after them as you go. You need to know what to do before you get them because some of them are really sensitive to temperature and humidity and stuff.”

 “She seems like a nice kid.” Maria said after Bessie had gone to bed that night.

“I think she likes the two of you, too,” Joan sounded relieved, “She wouldn’t have told you all that stuff about Ebony if she didn’t like you.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do when you go back to work?” Maggie asked, it was clear that she had a suggestion.

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to start her at school right away.”

“What if we looked after her?” Joan chuckled at the mischievous glint in Maggie’s eyes, “We could move in here and help out with housework, too.”

“I don’t know, Mags.”

“Hey,” Maria said encouragingly, “Remember what we always used to talk about at Uni? We all said we wanted to move in together and no seems like as good a time as any.”

“Better than some, even.” Maggie added. Joan sighed and held her hands up in defeat.

“Alright, I’ll talk to Bessie about it.”

“Yes!” Maggie cheered.

“Just for the record,” Maria said seriously, “I will be legally changing my name to Auntie Ria.”

#six #six the musical #bessie on the bass #autistic bessie #autism #joan on the keys #maria on the drums #maggie on the guitar #tarantula #six fanfic #six fanfiction

[unicorn-sprinkles-101]

I'm an autistic, mentally ill young adult who very desperately needs to find a new place to live.

I can't exactly recount what happened during most of my childhood but I have to say that my parents have drastically spiraled out of control since then. 

My mother had never really been a big impact on my life other than being my primary guardian and taking me from place to place. Other than that, she has little to no emotional connection to me and especially not now. I don't really "hate" anyone listed here, I just don't care for my family anymore and don't want anything to do with any of them.

My mother is completely unable to work, relying mostly on disability since I was a baby due to an ongoing condition. My father refuses to get a better job to support my mother and I, often leaving us with around $5-$10 at a for gas money (often with tons of quarters) or to take with me when it is absolutely required.

Now that I've turned 18, things have gotten much harder when it comes to me being used for financial gain. I do admit that alot of that money was used towards me in some way or another while I was growing up, but not anymore.

While my father is unable to let go of grandmother's old house (which has gone to shambles), one of my mother's friends has lives under us in the basement after being rendered homeless, which can make akward when describing family troubles.

She started living with us a while ago after her trailer finally caved in after we packed water jugs back and forth to her location for several years.

Ever since she moved here, she's developed an overbearing attachment to her "animals". It got so bad she refused time and time again to put her very ill 16-year-old dog to sleep, rendering them unable to walk, see, eat or hear for months on end. The breaking point was when they bled out all over the kitchen (which we knew would happen eventually), which was traumatic for us and highly unnecessary for the dog to go through considering how miserable they were when they came here.

She has made tons very rude and hurtful comments to me about how I'm such an "abuser" when I told her dogs (she has 3) to go away or get off the couch in front of her. She often claims that I'm abusive towards my guinea pigs, saying that I don't "take care of [my] animals".

This friend of my mother has also made comments ranging from my weight to my behavior and called me names ranging from "brat" to the more recent "trashy white girl" while my mother rolls her eyes and tells me it was all just a joke.

She's physically done things towards me such as shoving me out of the way, crushing me on the bed, and almost hauling a foot tall scratching post towards my direction after I refused to get her a broom the second she demanded it (I ended up getting it for her anyway.

However, physical altercations between me and my mom's friend are very rare and this type of behavior is often seen as the norm in my area, so unless it's something that left bruises or sexual assault, it isn't really that big of a deal compared to the other stuff I face on a daily basis.

It only got worse after I graduated from highschool. It got so bad that it became worse than all of the countless harassment I faced throughout my highschool education combined.

I was forced to give up over 3/4s of my $700 worth of graduation money to my mother in order to pay off bills, food, and other neccessities. While I ended up snagging some small gifts for myself (apx. $120) before it was all sucked up, I know I'll probably never be able to get paid back that amount of money from either one of them and I feel extremely cheated as a result.

While I was legitimately excited to see them grow as people in a good home, my sister's kids have drastically changed for the worse ever since they've been shoved in a tiny old trailer and moved back to the classic small town community full of people with money (maybe extracurriculars will keep them busy).

The youngest of them (8), who is often dumped here on a daily basis, has disrespected us in a variety of ways including: eating at the computer after my mom's friend made a rule not to, not picking up after themselves when they did so (often leaving uneaten food out), and using every other dollar my mom had to go get candy and drinks from the Dollar Store (they stole my leftover change in front of me and lied about it, but that was a one-time occurrence).

The back room often smells like trash because my mother puts off going to the dump until the very last minute.

Nobody can keep up with the animals, use a flyswatter on the cat to keep it from climbing everything and having to lock it up so it wouldn't take the food straight off our plates while we were eating.

While two of the dogs from my mom's friend stay downstairs in the basement, the third one stays up here and refuses to go downstairs.

The dog is well-behaved (aside from agressive barking) but while it doesn't pee anywhere in the house (as far as we know), it appears to leave, traces of leftover urine on pillows, blankets, and the furniture (or at least the odor, although I felt small wet spots on the couch before) which could spread germs, not good for someone with a few open sores.

None of them use leashes, so when this dog bursts out the door it takes off up the street aggressively barking at everyone and everything, with little to no repercussions from either adult. The overly intense noise from this small dog has gotten way out of hand, making me a nervous wreck.

These two stress factors combined with everything else makes it impossible to keep the house clean by nearly any means (I'm doing my best just to sweep off the porch).

I'm grateful that my mom's friend took one last shot at trying to clean up the bedroom, but there's no point in trying to keep anything kept up when all it does is get destroyed.

Moving to my own place means I won't have to look after anyone else but me and my pets (guinea pigs). However, I don't have anyone to support me in my endeavors.

As my parents often failed to attend my physical and emotional needs, I became highly unstimulated and constantly stressed as a result. This has lead to severe bouts of depression and executive dysfunction, which has caused my mom's friend's harassment to get even worse.

Not only did they fail to properly take care of my needs all throughout highschool, we've never been able to afford ANY sort of renovations to the house during our residence here (about 8 years), aside from basic roofing which was performed by a small Hispanic business instead of a professional company. 

The only two instances of DIY fix-ups I can remember during my 8 years here are replacing the shattered windows with plexiglass (which happened years ago) and recently restoring some of the rotten floorboards under the washer that were caked in mold.

The simple act of taking a shower has now become one of my worst dreaded nightmares and unless I move to a safe environment then I won't ever be able to properly take care of myself like I dream of doing someday.

Even though it'll take top surgery to make me feel comfortable taking showers again, moving to an inspected apartment means I  have one less worry about falling through the basement and the rancid smell of burnt urine that sometimes reeks from the basement.

I never went outside much, aside from sitting on the corner of the porch since the rest of it was turned green by air conditioning water and the walkway was flooded by overgrown plants (even they've been given more respect than I have).

I often vented through various social platforms but I decided that enough is enough: I needed to grow as a person and stop shoving all my problems on others.

It was then I knew I had to find a way to escape. Unfortunately, in order to move out I needed at least a little bit of stable funding, which I'm very, very far from.

My sensory issues make it hard to gain interests in whatever food was cooked (ex. spaghetti, dumplings), and I didn't have the desire to eat expired canned greens from the food bank, which have since been covered in roach poo. They're pretty much everywhere you go.

Even the cleanest of countertops could be seen crawling with a few roaches. They reside deep within the microwave along with fried maggots from ages ago.

They have also made their way into the refrigerator, making it difficult to scour what little there is without feeling grossed out. It's getting harder day by day to tell the difference between of the smallest of bugs and pepper. Since we we can't afford a closed-top hamper, our dirty clothes are often covered in roaches trying to find a place to hide, making it difficult to gather the strength to wash them like I should.

They've also taken over my computer, rendering my unable to even touch it for months.

No amount of bombing, traps, or pesticides will clear them either. They were there to begin with, and they always come back.

There's even been an increase in other types of bugs, most notably fly's and gnats.

The Crock-Pot would often fill up with mold  every other week because me and my mother didn't like chowing down on her friend's grand "homestyle cooking" every day. 

We didn't eat it as much as we should've because it was often bland in taste and we don't know how to make her stop (I know I can't). She ended up making a fuss when we tried to make suggestions, so we let her get what she wants even if it wasting precious ingredients we could've used to make something we could actually eat.

To make up for it, I often had to buy single cans of Spaghettio's at a time from the Dollar Store and call it my meal for the day. 

Now it seems like I can't even do THAT anymore. 

It got to the point where I even considered that any drink besides water, hell even soda, could have some sort of nutritional value. It was better that eating nothing, after all.

I often pondered mother's financial choices when came to these things but as we all have been told "mother knows best" and we as children should not be allowed to question our parent's decision.

She recently told me my SSI completely cut because the government labels me as "being able to work".  It turns out that they cut my disability check as opposed to SSI but I'm still left just as broken inside as before.

Why? Because there's absolutely no way I can save up such a large amount, we need every last drop to survive off of. I've used a very small portion of it to buy some little stuff to help me cope from time to time, but I'm gonna refrain from that from now on until I completely move out.

Even though the issue has been resolved for now, I'm tired of being dragged through hoops when I know they'll just try to cut it off again. I can't keep staying here because I'm sick and tired of having our only source of income dangling on a string.

I would really like to gain some much needed work experience and I plan on applying to Wal-Mart as soon as I upload this post.

However, there's one problem: I have no source of reliable transportation to get to my job.

My mother had to borrow money off of my grandmother (as she has done in the past) in order to have the gas to pick me up from therapy this week. While that tank of gas may last a bit, this is not sustainable enough for me to keep any sort of job regardless if it were part-time or full-time. The three job options in this very small town don't offer a position that would be comfortable enough for me to perform the tasks I am assigned and two are often known for mistreating their staff members on a regular basis.

Another reason I want to get a job in a bigger city is so I can continue to work once I move closer to Wal-Mart, which will save tremendous amounts of gas money and time. To avoid the trauma of driving, I will probably be using a transport bus as opposed to using a car.

The reason it appears that I don't look after my guinea pigs as much as I should is because their cages are inaccessible making it excruciatingly difficult to clean their cages and fufill their needs. With my own apartment to live in, I will have the ability make room for them and I can organize a place for my piggies in a much more open location free of mess.

I'd really like to keep them with me when I move alone, especially considering that I adopted one all the way from Louisville (I live around the west side of KY). I want to give Marlene the proper life she deserves after traveling across the state to take her beautiful soul home with me.

While I probably won't have access to a small animal veterinarian to get a proper diagnosis, my older guinea pig Chloe (about 4 years) had a massive tumor/cyst on her leg burst open a while back.

Her weight has drastically increased to the point where she feels like a limp water balloon when I attempt to pick her up, so it lead me to assume that her body is slowly being taken over by some form of internal cancer.

Even though there's nothing I can do to heal her, my ultimate wish is for Chloe to drift away peacefully in a safe environment free of bugs and other filth. This means that not only do I have myself to care for, but my two precious babies as well.

I admit that I have been going through a slow regression in regards to financial behavior, but I would love to learn how to shop responsibly while keeping my true interests at heart. I have plenty of plushies and figurines to keep me company at the moment. Some I'll sell to make room for new ones, but most of them will there to  comfort me during stressful times.

After buying one of the most beautiful children's lamps I had ever seen at GoodWill, I soon found out that buying doesn't have to be boring and dull like all the adults have told us all our lives. I learned that you should buy furniture and clothes based on how it makes you feel instead of relying on others to tell you what to do, I would love to purchase decorations for my apartment that reflect who I want to become as a person.

Not everything should have to be about scrounging for my next meal.

However, the funds from this will go towards covering down-payment, rental costs, and buying a new setup for my guinea pigs if they are allowed at the apartment (I don't want to track bugs from the old cages, plus they need a bigger space).

I wanted to let you guys know that I will have to use a portion of the donations

to cover my mother's monthly electric bill. As much as I want to talk myself out of it, she literally relies on me for money so I don't exactly have the ability to opt-out of that right now.

The extra stuff (such as small appliances, furniture, groceries, and of course... a limited-edition plush or two) will be paid for using a compilation of my paycheck and whatever I earn off of Redbubble.

I'd love to start a YouTube channel where I do things like art, gaming, and reviews to strengthen my voice and get it out into the world in a peaceful, sanitary environment free from interruptions or harassment over a seemingly innocent/important subject matter.

There's lots of things that I missed out on when I was younger and I bet it would be so awesome to finally express myself free of constant toxicity and hatred.

I deeply love OK K.O. and I'd love to honor the impact that this person of color and his creation has left on me someday, as well as continue down my path of original content that I've been waiting to share with you guys!

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 Rest and Resolutions + Alone Together

This is a re-posting from December 8th, 2017 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

Hello, everyone! I apologize for the two week gap between reviews. Academia caught up with me in the worst way possible, but that is behind us now, hallelujah. There's a lot to cover in our last two episodes, so let's dive straight in.

First off, Ozpin is the Wizard theory confirmed.

We all knew it was coming, but it's still nice to finally have validation for that idea. Often times writers will deliberately askew what the viewers expect to happen in a failed attempt at originality (see Sherlock's season 3 premiere), but if you've planted the hints there's every reason to follow through with them. In true RWBY fashion though, this information leads to even more questions. I'm particularly interested in this balance between history and storytelling. That is, the version of Ozpin-as-Wizard that we hear about is explicitly a fairy tale and we all know that time has a tendency to twist events, especially when people begin to view them as just old wive's tales, rather than actual truth. All we really know is that Ozpin indeed gave much of his power to four girls, creating the original Maidens. However:

Did he really isolate himself like the story says? Honestly, if I'd been dealing with all Ozpin's shit I'd probably hide in the woods too.

How soon after receiving the curse did all this go down?

Depending on that timing, did Ozpin have reincarnations before he was the Wizard? Or is that his original form? A lot of fans still assume that he was also the King of Vale, though where that fits into the timeline is a little unclear.

Did Ozpin know at the time that his magic was finite? Or was this the event that clued him in?

Did he give the four women magic in a deliberate attempt to stop Salem? Or, like the story implies, was there a broader reason, the desire to give these women the power to continue spreading hope? That would certainly fit with the show's "honest soul" theme (and perhaps an indicator that characters like Ruby have something to teach Ozpin even as he teaches them, just as the original Maidens did).

Are the Maidens' powers connected to their original gifts? Winter is the Maiden of creation and encouraged Ozpin to meditate and reflect. Summer is destruction and, interestingly, told Ozpin to "step outside and embrace the world." Spring brought food and flowers to revitalize his garden and is the Maiden of knowledge, while Fall is choice and reminded Ozpin to be thankful for what he has. I can see some similarities among all that...

We might not ever get answers to questions like these. Unlike other fantasy series, RWBY is rather restricted by its medium--you can't spend page after page explaining nuanced world building as you would in a novel; we've only got about fifteen minutes max each episode and plenty of more important issues to tackle first. Still, it's something.

Besides that confirmation, "Rest and Resolutions" really lives up to its name. We have all the kids enjoying a happy meal together, with only Oscar noticeably absent. (I know, I know, he's housing Ozpin's soul and Ozpin needs to have Important Conversations with Qrow about the missing huntsmen, but let the kid hang out a bit with people closer to his age, yeah?) Much of this volume has been recap of one form or another, so as to make sure that each character is caught up on what everyone else has been doing and are aware of the information that others/the viewer already knows about. Ruby and co.'s conversation works similarly, only these callbacks are meant to induce a sense of nostalgia rather than act as firm plot foundation.

Jaune recounts "loosing" the map on their travels. Jaune. You literally threw it away when you realized that an entire town had been besieged by grimm. Like, I get that losing their map isn't great, but at least the guy is really invested in the welfare of others?

(cough--comforting Pyrrha instead of watching the door--cough)

(It's actually a personality "flaw" that, as we've seen twice now, can cause some serious consequences.)

The kids take turn complimenting one another (aww) and Ruby says that Ren was "out of control" during the fight against the Nuckelavee. I've seen a few autistic!Ren headcanons over the years and this perhaps can be read as evidence to support that. Ren drastically misreads the tone and intention of Ruby's comment, apologizing quite sincerely for his behavior and personal investment in that fight. It's only when Ruby clarifies that she meant it as a compliment that Ren understands... and thanks her. There's a lot of acceptance and support in this moment.

Weiss alludes to summoning her boar during the party (Ruby: "You did not!") and when Nora doesn't believe her Weiss summons the boar right next to her, startling the hell out of poor Nora. This really shows how much Weiss has improved. There's no hesitation, no need to concentrate--she just summons it up with pure ease right in the middle of a conversation.

I was actually rather surprised by Nora's reaction. Yeah, the jump scare was played for humor, but that combined with her horror at Yang detaching her arm... Nora seems a little... skittish to me?  I might be reading too much into things (I almost certainly am), but between these two moments, the joke about her eating, watching her sneak food last episode... they all read as not so subtle indicators of stress to me. And who can blame the girl.

Other nostalgic moments include our Vol. 1-3 nicknames: Ice Queen and Vomit Boy. The group has a long-overdue acknowledgement of how much they've grown since they were at school, with Ruby in particular delivering the iconic line that she tried to "1v1 a Nevermore on our second day of school." And the Death Stalker, Ruby. God bless this trigger-happy child.

There's also talk of Yang's arm. It did my heart good to see Ruby ooo-ing over the mechanics and Yang looking damn proud of it for once. The arm wrestling contest between her and Nora was, of course, fantastic. Yang's not just embracing this new part of her but actively using it to her advantage... that's exactly where we all knew she'd end up. Can't hold this girl down for long.

Yang: "It's no replacement for the real thing, but I'll make good use of it."

There's a radical tone change once dinner is over and Ozpin rejoins the conversation. Yang is clearly distrustful of him after her talk with Raven (despite the fact that Yang has no reason to trust Raven...) and in true Ozpin style he tries to console her with wisdom and compliments: "Your mother must trust you a great deal" if she told you all that.

Yeah. Sorry, Oz. You know as well as the audience that Raven told those secrets to manipulate her, not because she trusts her. That little strategy fell flat.

Ozpin confirms most of what Raven said though, including that he turned her and Qrow into birds. What Raven of course failed to mention was that they both agreed to the transformation. Whether that agreement was a strong and enthusiastic "Yes!" or the kind of consent that Pyrrha gave--a very complicated scenario with no good choices on the table--is hard to say. My own assumption is that Raven was probably thrilled to be given such a useful power, especially when she intended to turn it against the very community who gave it to her. She only regrets it now that her life hasn't turned out quite as planned. She, like others, is looking to use Ozpin as her scapegoat. 

In fact, we're given no explanation for Raven or Yang's anger here. Raven I can conceptualize--she's the type to blame others for her problems--but Yang? What exactly is so horrific about being turned into a kick-ass bird? As Ozpin describes it, this magic allows Qrow and Raven to "see more" and to be "unburdened" in ways that the normal huntsmen or huntress is not. This ability allows them to spy on Salem rather inconspicuously and, as we've seen in the case of Qrow, is useful in terms of keeping track of other people--like your wayward niece who goes off to try and take on the forces of darkness alone. As far as we've been told there's no downside to this ability beyond the fact that Ozpin's magic is finite, but that hardly effects Qrow. He transforms when he chooses, it doesn't seem to cause him any pain, it grants him an ability outside of his bad luck semblance, he already lives in a world where half the population has animal traits... seriously, where's this anger coming from? Just the fact that magic is an unknown to Yang and therefore scary? It's really unclear and frankly worrying considering how much Yang is basing her accusations and demands around that anger. 

Because the irony is that Yang demands no more secrets from Ozpin. He insists he doesn't keep secrets from them, just plays certain pieces of information close to the chest, but Yang says 'tomato tomahto’ even though, as we’ve just established, that wasn’t Ozpin’s secret to tell. And it has no repercussions that impact the rest of the group. Certainly not the girl who just showed up. I mean, maybe there is still a downside? They’ll definitely be a real backlash if the kids discover there is some horrific consequence to Qrow and Raven's ability and Ozpin didn’t say anything... but again, that’s not fair to Ozpin. Isn’t anyone going to ask Qrow why he kept this from his family? Or ask Yang why she’s suddenly on the side of the mother who abandoned her and is a known killer? Putting all this on Ozpin is, again, pretty worrying. 

Perhaps the most moving moment of the episode though is when Ozpin tells the kids that they can still leave. (Except Oscar of course. This poor kid. He got dragged into this fast and is the only one who's truly stuck with it.) He emphasizes that abstaining from battle is not the same thing as retreat and reminds us that these are just kids and they can't be expected to shoulder it all. No one stands except for Yang... but she's not leaving, just making it clear that whatever Ruby decides to do she'll follow her lead. It re-emphasizes that Ruby isn't just a strategic leader like Jaune is. She's the moral compass of the group. Once Ruby decides to keep fighting--and we know she always will--the rest of her family follows. That’s... not always a good thing though. Everyone needs a reason for fighting this kind of war and I don’t think ‘because Ruby is fighting it too’ is powerful enough to carry them through whatever new hardships they’ll face. 

Because you can’t keep the peace for long. We're left with one hell of a cliff-hanger as Emerald, Mercury, Cinder, and Watts approach Raven's camp, the whole gang demanding an audience--or more likely a Maiden. Every fan who cried over the fact that Emerald isn't in the opening finally got to see their fave prepping for a fight and I for one am looking forward to a real battle this Volume. None of the measly stuff we've seen with Blake or in training. For the first time this will, presumably, be Maiden vs. Maiden and I expect something epic.

Luckily the episode airs soon!

Before that though we have the heart-wrenching episode "Alone Together," wherein three fourths of Team RWBY finally get some downtime together. Ruby is up very early due to difficulty sleeping (who can blame her) and she soon realizes that Weiss and Yang are in the same boat. Loved Yang's sisterly "Boop" with her hair (pick that up from Nora, did you?) and Weiss knows her friends well, dumping an unholy amount of sugar into Ruby's coffee to make sure she likes it. "Nice Weiss strikes again!"

I'm quite liking Nice Weiss this Volume. What a step up from Ice Queen.

There's a bit more recapping--Ruby is called out on her priorities. That fact that they're all together at Haven Academy; that's what she can't believe?--before the conversation quickly turns to when they'll see Blake again. We've watched Yang deal rather well with the loss of her arm this past Volume and she kept a comparatively cool head around her mother. This though... this is what's really been festering.

Yang says that Blake "made her choice" and expresses very little interest in seeing her again. Weiss and Ruby are, understandably, shocked. With shaking hands and a flash of red eyes, Yang finally reveals what's truly been holding her back. Not her arm, not Raven, not any anger at Ruby, but the fact that Blake ran from them. Again.  

It's an understandable flaw on Blake's part, and it's equally understandable that this would nevertheless frustrate and upset Yang. I love that it's Weiss who helps her see Blake's perspective in all this: that after finally opening up to them, everything she'd feared actually did come to pass. The family she'd found was torn apart. Beacon fell. Adam hurt Yang in the worst possible way. She brought down the metaphorical walls around her heart and the literal walls of Beacon crumbled. As far as Blake is concerned, getting close to others really did bring nothing but misery. It's not logical, but emotions rarely are. Of course she's going to try and get as far away from them as possible after that, as well as return to her parents. It was a move born equally from a desire to protect herself as well as others.

It says a great deal about Yang's maturity that she does understand Blake's perspective rather quickly (even if, interestingly, she can’t understand Ozpin’s. A difference in who she actually cares for). Notably this is done through Weiss' own experiences, her admission that they've all experienced their own versions of loneliness. Yang says she doesn't blame Blake for the decision any longer; she's just upset that Blake hasn't realized yet (as Yang herself has) that things are easier when you stick together. That she, Ruby, and Weiss could have supported Blake through this... and that they need her support too. Yang resolves to be there for Blake just as soon as she's ready. The girl has a wealth of love within her. And yes, a lot of that stems from adopting the role of caretaker early, looking after Ruby as a big sister, but the fact that Yang can separate her current desire to protect her friends from that difficult childhood is huge. She knows how trauma has shaped her and she's prepared to make the best of it.

Ruby finally does check up on them and lets out a heartfelt sigh. Everything's okay.

Now, I'll be real interested to see if Yang's shaking lessens after she's reconciled with Blake...

Meanwhile, there's Ilia. And you all know what I'm going to discuss here.

There's a lot to say about her meeting with Blake--the well-played betrayal; our look at how Blake might end up in Mistral; the introduction of a very cool spider faunus; Ilia's speech about how there's no right or wrong, no innocents, just doing "what's best for us" that reminded me strongly of Roman's own speech--but for now, especially given how long this review already is, I want to focus in on her sexuality.

(FYI what I have below was originally written as a separate post, so apologies for the repetition.)

In the past week I've seen numerous complaints about how the fandom is “whining” about finally getting what they want. I’m one of the “whiners,” and this, to be frank, is not what I asked for.

Let’s start with the acknowledgment that yes, no matter who Rooster Teeth chose as their first LBGTQIA character, some people were going to be disappointed. Either because the choice doesn’t fit their ship or because of the dichotomy we’re seeing now: the Good vs. Evil gay character divide. It’s a simple disagreement on the surface that nevertheless houses a lot of important questions and concerns: should you make your gay character one of the Good Guys in order provide positive representation, or should you make them one of the Bad Guys in order to provide diverse representation? Do you send the message that being gay is wonderful by associating it with the heroes, or something that’s natural by associating it with the villains--making a statement that anyone can be LGBTQIA, not just the ones you’re rooting for?

The answer to this dilemma is that you do both. You provide variety in order to likewise provide true, diverse representation. However, the reality is that we haven’t reached a point in most media where you get lots and lots of gay characters to provide lots and lots of diversity… so therefore I feel rather strongly that the first character should be a positive portrayal.

Why? Because we’re not living in a positive world. Because we’re still a part of societies where LGBTQIA people are ridiculed, discriminated, and murdered. Because the idea that it’s not just okay, but fantastic to be gay is FAR from universal.

Because we have a very long, awful history of villains associated with gay stereotypes. Because there’s literally a Psycho Lesbian trope with plenty of examples to choose from. Because we don’t live in a culture where you can casually throw out ‘gay’ + ‘bad guy’ and expect your audience to separate the two critically.

Which brings me back to Ilia.

For all these reasons I was truly disappointed to see that she was our first LBGTQIA character. Out of a wealth of women in this show who love each other in healthy and nuanced ways, they were all bypassed for a character who is currently one of the Bad Guys.

Is Ilia pure evil? Of course not. I’ve mentioned previously about how much we see her struggling with her choices, but she’s currently not on a good path either. More importantly, the way her sexuality is revealed does nothing but position it badly. Let’s break that scene down just a bit. The first LGBTQIA content we’re given is:

A woman who is working for an extremist group that in turn is working for the Big Bad

Ilia reveals her sexuality after having her henchmen abuse Blake, attacking her, forcing her onto her knees, and announcing that they’re currently attempting to murder her parents

Ilia says that she wanted Blake to look at her like she once looked at Adam, intentionally or not drawing parallels between her love and Blake’s abuse

She positions her sexuality as at least partly a justification for her actions. Illia is subtly blaming Blake: if you’d paid more attention to me, maybe none of this would have happened. It actively positions all this horror as at least partly a consequence of same sex attraction

Does all of this craft a rather complex, LGBTQIA character? Absolutely, but it’s also one that left a rather sour taste in my mouth. Overt, same-sex attraction is still so rare in our media and frankly I’m sick of it. I’m sick of vague comments, queer baiting, or promises of something “coming later.” I’m equally sick of burying our gays and having same-sex attraction presented as something that only those who are otherwise sick in their morals would experience. Is it so much to ask for something reaffirming in a series that keeps growing in popularity and influence?

Will there be more LGBTQIA characters in RWBY? I assume so, I hope so, but for now all we have is Ilia. A character who, I’d also like to point out, we barely know. I’m sure she’s lots of fans’ fave, but I for one have little interest in this side character… and her position as a side character makes me nervous for her survival. Her sexuality only compounds that.

Rooster Teeth had a huge opportunity here. LGBTQIA viewers have waited five years to see someone like them in this series and it could have been a really magnificent reveal. It could have been Yang realizing her feelings as she worked through her anger at Blake. Or Weiss realizing hers for Yang as they get closer this Volume. Or Ruby for Weiss. Or Weiss for Blake. Hell, give us a throwaway line about Port and Oobleck being happy husbands, or let Ren be pan, or let Oz admit to same-sex attraction after having lived thousands of years…. I don’t care. I’ll take any ship wars that develop as a consequence. All I wanted was to see a character I know and love embracing their sexuality in a way that reaffirmed how proud I am of my own.

Instead it’s Ilia, admitting feelings for Blake while she plots to kill her parents. While she hurts her and betrays her. Sorry if I find that a little difficult to watch. Sorry if I need to “whine” about it just a bit.

So yes. Needless to say I'm disappointed. After that I couldn't really appreciate Ghira's transformation and concern for his wife, or Kali's badass, "Get out of my house!" As said, the whole scene with Ilia left a bad taste in my mouth. I know Rooster Teeth can do better.

Hopefully we do get better. Preferably soon. This is the perfect, filler kind of Volume to set up more characterization, including queer sexualities, and we've got four more episodes until the hiatus.

Tick, tock, RT.

Other Details of Note

Nora, what exactly happened with you and that punch?

I liked the gears on the wall clock. Which begs the question: where did this house come from? Is it a safe place that Ozpin had set up long before Beacon's fall?

They ate ALL that food. Everything they'd prepared while expecting who knows how many huntsmen/huntresses. Never underestimate the appetites of a group of teenagers.

James and Glynda get mentioned this volume! Everyone rejoice! Now if only we got to see them on screen...

Nora exclaiming about how Qrow and Raven are named after birds was pretty hilarious. It's not like we weren't already thinking it. Despite all the jokes on tumblr though, there's no way Ozpin chose those forms specifically because of the Branwens' names. If anything, this seems to act as evidence that a person's semblance/abilities draws on their personality, rather than the other way around.

There are a number of bird motifs throughout "Alone Together," including our opening shot of Ruby watching them fly overhead and a pair of carved ducks on display in the bedroom where Yang and Weiss chat. It's a nice nod to one of this Volume's major themes. (Or, if we buy into this headcanon that this place is a safe house purchased specifically for Qrow, then Ozpin needs to get called out on his on-the-nose decorating lol).

Yang staring at the team photo hurt in so many ways. Excellent touch there.

We have that acknowledged parallel between Weiss and Ruby, in which Yang (and the audience) expects it to be Ruby knocking on the door, trying to talk. The difference is that now, months later, Yang is actually in a position to open up to someone and that someone is Weiss, now just as much a sister to Yang as Ruby is.  

Confirmation that Weiss' mom is an alcoholic. We knew that was coming too...but still. Yikes.

Yang cries! Let all the children keep crying! It's good and natural!

There's a "nocturnal section" of Menagerie. Of course there is. God I can't believe I didn't think of that.

Ilia can completely blend in with the shadows. It's official now: all Volume 1-3's shadow people are just really, really shy chameleon faunuses. Spread the word.

That blow Blake took seemed to hit her pretty hard. Kind of like how Oscar staggered when he got hit without his aura... could Blake really trust Ilia enough to attend this meeting without proper protection? She might, which makes Ilia's betrayal all the worse. In the episode where Yang talks of letting Blake support and be supported by others, she was finally willing to do that with an old friend. Obviously having that backfire won't help Blake to open up any further.

GIF credit: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/841077-rwby

#rwby #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

[harmonchavez4-blog]

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[tailsfoxie]

"𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭!"

𝐓𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 / 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐓𝐞𝐜𝐡 | 𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 | 𝟖 (𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝟏𝟓)

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» | 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎

𝟎𝟎𝟏.

My name is Miles prower, but you can just call me Tails or Miles. Any text posts I make will be tagged with tails.txt. I like masc and neutral compliments, but no feminine!

Note! This is a sideblog, so I follow from another blog! I follow from @thecollectionsystem, yes I am part of a system, deal with it.

𝟎𝟎𝟐.

I struggle with mainly autism. This blog however is not a vent blog, so don't worry, you'll (most likely) not see any triggering content. This is mostly an age regression blog but also just a blog to show you my interests.

𝟎𝟎𝟑.

I'm still 8 years old. I might be smarter than people my age but that still doesn't disregard the fact that I am 8 years old. Treat me like my age, besides, this is an age regression blog. I'll be acting much younger anyway.

𝟎𝟎𝟒.

My gender is kitisgender and kitsunegender and I'm aroace. If I had to go by the body, than I am from Belgium. Everyone does know Dutch but we prefer to talk in English.

𝟎𝟎𝟓.

I'll post about age regression and my interests, go ahead and talk to me if you have the same interests as me!

» | 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝐓𝐕 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬/𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬

Sonic X

Sonic boom

Sonic the hedgehog (2020)

Sonic the hedgehog 2 (2022)

The owl House

She-Ra and the princesses of power

Avatar the last airbender

Encanto

Luca

Turning red

Tinkerbell (every movie)

Raya and the last dragon

Ninjago

𝟎𝟎𝟐. 𝐕𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

Undertale

Sonic (any game really, that I've played of course.)

Five Nights at Freddy's

Dayshift at Freddy's

Doki doki literature club

Dialtown

Gacha club

𝟎𝟎𝟑. 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

The sonic fandubs by snapcube

Writing

Drawing

Lgbtqia+ stuff

Xenogenders

Neopronouns

Hoarding the 2 aforementioned things

Cottagecore

Kidcore

Animals

» | 𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒

I have a cat named pretzel

I have complete heterochromia

I am autistic

The body is 5"1'

#tails.txt

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Niles was on crutches, watering his garden.

It was late Tuesday afternoon, and we’d just put the Wednesday edition of the Star to bed. Despite the fact it was mid-October, the weather was still summery, with a light wind rustling its way up the valley. The Slocan River had a magical sheen in the distance as my RAV broke out of the trees. Brutus was running laps of the yard with a dog I didn’t recognize, too busy to bark at my arrival, so I followed the driveway around to the barn unmolested and parked beside a mud-spattered, half-deconstructed Jeep. Niles had invited me over to discuss his latest manuscript submission, which was over 100,000 words long. It sat hefty and dog-eared on my passenger seat, riddled with highlighter and scribbled notes, alongside a six-pack of Blue Buck. I wasn’t looking forward to this feedback session, because I wasn’t sure if he was mature enough to hear what I had to say.

“We’ve got the house to ourselves tonight, Goon. I’ve got the second season of Fargo queued up, plus I’ve acquired some fabulous Afghani Kush that will blow your hair back,” Niles said, his crutches squelching in the mud as he clopped over to my side door.

I lifted up his manuscript, which was called The Fox and the Fawn. “Did you forget about this?”

Since my arrival in Nelson I’d been keeping a small roster of three to five students, helping them develop everything from a fictional account of the Rwandan genocide to a fantasy novel about an autistic teen adventuring through an alternate dimension. The trouble was, I was starting to feel like an imposter. My repeated attempts at finishing Whatever you’re on, I want some hadn’t resulted in the fame and glory I was imagining, and now I was wondering if I’d been kidding myself this whole time. Yeah, I had my Master’s, but so what? Could I really be a writer? And if not, was I really worthy of being a teacher? Who was I kidding?

“I figured you would’ve burned that thing the moment you realized what a gargantuan turd it is,” Niles said, his blond hair hanging limply around his dishevelled face. He wasn’t looking healthy.

I climbed out and shut the door. “I read some of it to my new roommate Mika, actually. We had a little reading in my living room.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yeah, she wanted to hear the sex scene.”

Niles roared with delight. That’s what he was always looking for, an audience to the lewd reality of his existence. As far as he was concerned, he was the best kind of criminal — the kind that never gets caught. The Fox and the Fawn was a fangirl tribute to himself, to his gangster exploits as a Slocan Valley weed king. With legalization finally here, he felt it was time to tell his story. The manuscript was Bukowski mixed with Kerouac, demented and perverse and shockingly violent. At one point he even casually admits to date rape, including a scene where his girlfriend rages at him for taking advantage of her while he was drunk.

“I didn’t know you had a new roommate,” he said. “What happened to Brendan?”

“Nothing. I just found a new place, levelled up. Teamed up with this girl Mika who works at my pot dispensary. She’s got a pet rabbit.”

“You’re still getting your shit from there? Why aren’t you coming to me?”

Niles was wearing a brown bathrobe. He opened his front door, told me not to worry about my shoes, then handed me the crutches while he hopped on one foot up the carpeted staircase. He grunted and sighed with each step, muttering swear words under his breath. I’d never seen him like this. When we reached the top I gave him his crutches and the beer, and he motioned for me to take a seat in the living room. As I passed by the familiar John Cooper paintings, I noticed that he’d hung the self-portrait I’d given him as a present a month earlier. I’d painted it with Natalya.

“You hung my painting upside down?”

He laughed, opening the fridge. “Yeah, I dunno why I did that. Just seemed to me like it looks better that way. I get a kick out of it.”

I shook my head. For the past month I’d been painting furiously, and it felt like a swirling green portal had opened up inside my brain. My writing may have stalled, but this was a way to channel my creativity into something other than journalism. I was getting sick of the Star, getting sick of taking the same pictures of the same fundraiser events, getting sick of the constraints. My relationship with Ed and Kai was strained too, as they were tired of my entitled laziness. Maybe they knew I was stoned every day, slumping into the office uninspired and half-assing my stories. I felt like the universe was wasting me, but painting had become a soothing therapy, something I did exclusively for myself. I was giving myself permission to be sloppy and flamboyant and outrageous, slathering my canvases with dribbling glitter and chaotic streaks of inspiration. This painting I’d given Niles was my first.

As he banged around in the kitchen, I walked over to the living room window and looked out at the Slocan Valley. The trees were the colour of flames, red and orange and electric yellow, and they matched the darkening sky. Lately I’d been feeling a subtle dread, like the magic was slowly draining from my surroundings. Winter is coming. I hated being single, hated being a chronic stoner, and hated how much of my life I spent stressing out about money. In university I’d become so convinced that I had life sorted out, that I was on a consistently upwards trajectory, that it was only a matter of time before I would be rewarded with creative success and lifelong fulfillment. Now I wasn’t so sure. It was easy to blame Paisley and all the drama she’d brought to my life, but she’d been gone for over a year now. At some point I would have to address my own shit without using her as a scapegoat.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this, man.”

Niles scuffed back into the living room holding our beers. “This?”

“The Kootenays. The Star. I got into a bit of a scrap with Kai and Ed today, in the newsroom,” I said. “Over our coverage of Me Too.”

He laughed, sinking into his recliner. “You’re too radical for them?”

I shook my head, crossed to the couch. “I’ve just been seeing all these posts, right? Women sharing their trauma, men self-flagellating, but the discourse isn’t actually going anywhere. It’s not actually accomplishing anything. But I wanted to do something tangible, so I interviewed the superintendent and a bunch of principals about how they’re responding to it. Just to get it official, on the record, how they plan to change things.”

He snorted. “I’m sure they loved that.”

“So I hand in this 1200-word behemoth of a story, with all these different angles and perspectives, and they told me it didn’t have any teeth. They said it’s just a bunch of talking heads. I tried to argue, you know, that it’s important to be holding these people accountable and that their words are powerful, but they weren’t hearing it. They said if I’m going to write a story about sexual assault then I need a real sexual assault.”

He frowned, shrugged. “So what’re you going to do?”

I felt myself getting worked up. For the past few days I’d been endlessly scrolling through Twitter and Facebook, feeding on the outrage and vitriol. It was bringing everything up, Trent and Galloway and my strange obsession with crucifixion. The topic of sexual violence was like an intricate bomb I was trying to defuse with nothing but a screwdriver. As far as I was concerned, the conversation had to move beyond the rage to solutions. Men had to own their complicity, with more than just empty words, and propose tangible solutions. I was determined to prove Kai and Ed wrong, to show that my journalism had real teeth.

“Well, I’ve already started writing a column about it. About my personal feelings on the subject. And I’m going to illustrate it with a picture of my face with the words ‘Part of the Problem’ scrawled across my forehead.”

Niles laughed. “That should piss off the right people.”

“Not only that, I’ve found two girls who are willing to go on record about their assaults. One who was a student at Elephant Mountain Secondary, and the other from Selkirk College. If I do this right, this could be the most powerful story I’ve written since coming to the Star. Like, I think it could be a really big deal.” 

“Well, Goon,” he said. “I think your saviour complex is alive and kicking.”

Eventually we pivoted to discussing his manuscript, and I flipped through it on the coffee table as I took him through my notes. All of his female characters came off as interchangeable, he had a tendency to summarize scenes rather than depict them, and by the end of the narrative he came off as completely unlikeable. Being self-deprecating is one thing, but it was like he was going out of his way to shock the reader with his shitty behaviour. It felt like he was daring his audience to hate him. At times it reminded me of the memoir A Crowbar in the Buddhist Garden, by Stephen Reid, so I recommended he check it out for inspiration. I felt Reid struck a fine balance between owning his mistakes and aspiring to be a better human being.

“That’s the bank robber?”

“Yeah, they made a movie about him. Point Break.”

“That surfer movie with Keanu Reeves?”

“I think they fictionalized it a bit. The point is, there’s a guy who has actually grappled with his own soul. That takes balls.”

He nodded. “A Crowbar in the Buddhist Garden. I like that.”

Once we were finished with notes, Niles padded off into his bedroom and returned with an elaborate dragon-themed bong. As we smoked together I thought of the caterpillar from the animated version of Alice in Wonderland, asking in his condescending tone “Who are you?” That was the sort of question that was getting harder to answer all the time. Thinking about rape culture all day had me hating myself to the point where I felt physically sick, but at other times I was convinced of my own prophethood, my special destiny to save the world somehow. If I could tackle this Me Too story from exactly the right angle I knew it could have a legit impact. Everyone was encouraging women to speak while men listen, but I had been listening. And now I had something to say. I leaned back in the couch and examined the light fixture in the ceiling, composing my column in my head.

“Here,” Niles said. “You want another hit?”

The Kootenay Goon

[shanedawsonfanfiction-blog]

But I Am Not A Superhero. Chapter 2.

Chapter Two. November 22, 2017.

It had been a few days since Shane asked me to visit him and I told him that I would. I was sitting in the living room, in gray sweatpants, a black tank top and gray hooded sweatshirt. It was sort of chilly so my eight-something pound body was cold. My mother and Sophia had already left for work and school, so I was utterly all alone. Well, besides the pets, of course. I was watching ‘Live with Kelly and Ryan’ while I sipped my coffee when my phone dinged.

‘I wonder who that might be.’

I knew it wasn’t Shane because he went to bed an hour ago.  I put my blue coffee cup down and grabbed my phone, then I looked at it. I had a Facebook message from my best online friend, Jennifer who lived in Salem, Oregon. She was a mother of an autistic sixteen year boy.

We met on a Harry Potter Facebook group about a year ago and we soon became very close, in so many ways I thought of her as a much older sister. I actually hadn’t messaged her in a few days because I was totality sidetracked by Shane and packing for my trip.

Jenn- Good morning, I haven’t heard from you in a few days, so I am checking on you. How are you? Are you doing okay? Did your depression hit you again?

I clicked on the message bar and typed out my message to her then I hit send.

Jessa- Hey! I am doing okay, just been kinda busy. I have huge news! No depression, I am actually happy.

I put down my phone next to my right thigh so it would be easier for me to pick it back up. I picked up my coffee cup and took some sips from it. I was kind of watching the show that was on. I never actually watched ‘Live’.

I just turned on the news in the morning when I got up around seven o’clock each morning then around eleven in the morning when ‘The View’ turned on that is when I would change the channel to ION so I could watch my crime shows for the rest of the day.

I have a very boring life. I thought to myself as I sipped my coffee.

I heard my phone ding again and I picked it up as I put my coffee cup down on the end table that was next to me on my left.

Jenn- Happy is good! Why are you happy? What is your news?

I smiled softly as I typed out my message with my two thin boney thumbs. People said that when they either got a message from me or saw me texting that said I typed really fast. Never knew why I typed fast, I just knew that I always typed fast.

Jessa- I am going to be in California for a while starting on Dec. 7th. I am very happy and very excited.

I didn’t tell her about Shane, because obviously she wouldn’t believe me. I mean come on, actually knowing a semi-famous person, yeah right. Nobody would believe me.

I picked up my coffee and took a few sips from it, I was finally waking up.

Bella jumped up next to me and put her little head on my lap, I petted her with my free hand, “I know, sweetie. You hate it when Momma is gone at work. She’ll be home later tonight, I promise.” I told her then stood up, “I’ll be right back.” I said as she gave me a sad look, “I said I will be right back.” I shook my head at her.

I walked to the bathroom and I did my business then washed my hands. I walked back out to the small hallway and tripped over Persephone’s sister, Lucy. She was a very pretty looking tuxedo short haired cat. Lucy was playing with a small orange pom-pom. I caught myself with a hand on the wall, “Silly cat.” I said softly then walked back to the couch.

Bella sat up so that I could sit back down in my spot, “Thank you for keeping my seat warm for me, sweetie-pie.” I patted her head, “Did my phone ding?” I asked her as if she could answer me, I knew perfectly well that she couldn’t. I checked it and saw nothing. I put my phone back down then pulled my legs up onto the couch so that I could get more comfortable.

I must’ve fallen asleep because when Bella and Tobias started barking at something I jerked awake, “What?” I asked, completely startled.

I looked out the huge bay window and saw the mailman walking off of the porch, “Oh shut up, he brings us nice things. He even brings you your toy box.” I said to the dogs. Bella got a monthly box called ‘Bark Box’. She would get two toys that fit her size and she would two or three full size bags of heathy treats.

I picked up my phone and unlocked it, to see if I gotten any messages while I was asleep. I realized that I slept for an hour when I looked at my phone. I had one new message from Jennifer waiting for me, so I clicked on it and read her message.

Jenn- Just you? Or are you going with your family?

I quickly typed out my message then hit send.

Jessa- I am going on my own! I am going to stay with a friend of mine for a while.

I grabbed my empty coffee cup and stood up, walked to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. Bella of course, followed me. When I reached the counter where the coffee maker was, she brushed against my right leg, letting me know that she was beside me.

“Hi, baby.” I said softly to her, “I know you gotta follow Momma and you follow me when she isn’t home, because you are still a baby at heart.”  Bella was a five year old but still acted like a five month old.

I brewed myself a cup of coffee and added some Reese’s creamer then walked back to the living room.

Tobias was sniffing around the end table where my coffee cup was sitting on while I was sleeping, obviously looking for food or something to chew on. He was nearly a year old and still acted like a two month old.

“What are you doing?” I said to him raising my eye brows. He gave me that ‘I am a sad dog’ look and jumped down slowly, “Thank you.” I said as I sat down.

I drank my second cup of coffee as I thought of the things that I would bring with me to California. I knew that I would bring a few books, because I was almost always reading a book. I also knew that Shane was a night owl as I was an early bird, so most likely I would be alone in the early mornings, so I needed stuff to entertain me while he was asleep.

Then I thought of what I had in my black dresser drawer, I chewed my lower lip, I lost my coloring in my face, “Would Mom poke around my room while I am gone?” I asked out loud, knowing that the pets couldn’t answer me, “Or what about Sophia?” I made a face. She used to snoop around my room when I was out with friends, I knew this because stuff would be moved and whenever I asked my mother she would say it wasn’t her and I’d have my door shut so I knew it wasn’t any of the pets. So, obviously I was worried she’d find my X-rated drawer that I had in my bedroom.

I quickly left my seat on the couch and walked into my room and crouched down to open the bottom black dresser drawer, I grabbed my two glass dildos and my flesh colored nine inch realistic dildo then I placed them all in a plastic bag. Then placed the plastic bag in the blue bag that my other mindless stuff would be packed into, “Hopefully Shane won’t want to help me unpack. That would be awkward.” I muttered softly as I zipped up the blue bag that was besides my bed.

My mother knew about one of the glass dildos but she didn’t know that I added to the collection, so I was afraid that she would freak out and who knew what she would do with them.  

I walked back out to the living room and found Bella’s face in my coffee cup, “There is nothing in there, you silly girl.” I told her shooing her from my spot on the couch.

‘What is with my pets and coffee?’

I heard my phone ding again, Jennifer must’ve messaged me again, so I looked at my phone and read the message then replied to her.

Jenn- That is amazing! You will have a great time.

Jessa- I hope so! I am kinda scared too but excited more than anything else.

After I replied to Jennifer, I watched mindless television for about an hour without any messages coming through, so I almost fell back to sleep.  

About a half hour of trying not to sleep, I heard Shane’s ringtone. I found myself smiling as I answered it, “Hey, I thought you were going to sleep?” I asked, jokingly.

I heard him roll over and sheet covers rustle, so he was still in bed. I tried not to imagine him in bed, but it was hard. I wondered what he wore to bed. “I tried to but the ghosts wouldn’t let me.” He sighed heavily.

He had done a few videos talking about his three ghosts that he had at his house. One of the ghosts was a younger man, which actually followed him from his other house that he had with his mother. Another one was his grandma, and then the last was an older man that actually died in his house that he was living in now.

‘Creepy.’

So the ghosts that he had at his house weren’t that too dangerous, they were just pranksters and his grandma just kept a watchful eye on him. Even knowing about them, I still wanted to visit him. Unexplained noises and seeing dark shadows didn’t bother me like other “normal” people.

It was because I believed in ghosts. I have ever since I was a young child. When I was about nine years old, we lived in Novi, Michigan we were living in an apartment and I swore that my bathroom was haunted. It was always ice cold in there even when it was in the summer and I never felt alone in there when I was alone.

“Stupid ghosts.” I told him, folding my legs so that I was in a ball on the couch, “Did you know that in one of your many food videos that there was an orb that shoot across the counter behind you?”

Shane didn’t sound shocked, “My drunken foods video? Yeah, I saw the orb when I edited the video. I left that bit in the video to see if any viewers would spot it.”

“I remember you saying that Cheeto was hissing and meowing at you in the beginning of the video, well that was probably why. I know that animals can sense ghosts and whatnot.” I said to him as I watched Lucy and Persephone play around on the cream colored cat tree that was next to the huge bay window.

“I know. Cheeto can sense the ghosts in my house.” He said then he sighed then I heard him move covers from his bed then heard footsteps, “Give me a few seconds. I gotta pee.”

“I had heard you pee before, Shane. It had been years ago. So it’s okay.” I said, blushing slightly. Thankfully he made it so I couldn’t actually hear him. He probably put the phone to his chest or something.

In one of his older videos, he had peed kind of on camera. Don’t worry, none of the viewers could see anything that they shouldn’t have seen. If you get what I am trying to say, he wouldn’t been able to post that kind of video on YouTube. All the viewers could see was his face and nothing else. He was very open with his viewers.

The video in question was called ‘This Video Is Too Personal.’

I heard the flush then he washed his hands, “I am so tired but I need to finish editing videos and post the one for today.”

“You work a lot.” I said, sighing softly, “You post four videos a week and edit the ones you already videotaped. You have been doing YouTube for ten plus years without any major breaks. As I remember you always posted every day on all three of your channels for years.”

“Trust me, I am well aware.” He said laughing slightly, “I probably have the longest running YouTube channel ever.” I heard the coffee maker brewing so he was in his kitchen.

‘He was right, though. He made his first ‘Shane Dawson TV’ video in 2008 and he hadn’t stopped ever since.’

“That is fucking crazy. At least you love what you are doing. You do love what you are doing, right? I said, playing with a strain of my hair that was in my right eye and bothering me.

“Of course I do! I adore what I do on YouTube. Trust me, if I hated what I was doing, I’d fucking stop. But as of right now, I have no plans on stopping, maybe doing three videos per week instead of four.”

I heard him move the phone away from his mouth as he holler something to Uno and then I heard him feed both Cheeto and Uno, “Sorry about that, Uno was acting like an ass.”

“No problem, I understand.” I said smiling at Bella, who was looking at me with her Cocker Spangler looking ears raised slightly so that they looked like little furry pigtails. “My dogs are assholes at feeding times.” I looked at Persephone and Lucy who were fast asleep on the cat tree, “The cats are even more assholes than the dogs though.”

He heard his laugh again, “I get that, I had some cats that were assholes.” I heard him open a cupboard door and him setting a pan on his stove.

‘He was probably making himself breakfast. We made a weird pair, he ate his feelings while I drowned myself with galleons of coffee and hardly ever ate a full meal.’

I laughed with him, “Yeah. Cute, furry lovable assholes that have claws.” I petted Bella’s ears, “I’ll always be an animal lover. Maybe even be a crazy cat lady.”

“I could see that. You always said that you loved cats.” Shane said, “I wouldn’t mind having a houseful of dogs and cats.”

I laughed, twirling that same strain of my hair, “I also thought of something that we could do while I am there, we could have a horror movie marathon. I know you have a lot of great horror movies.”

“I do, so that sounds like a plan. Maybe we can start on the first night you get here.” He actually sounded excited and I couldn’t help it but I smiled, because it was so adorable.

“So that I would be too scared to sleep? Oh great idea, Shane.” I shook my head a little, “I do love horror movies but I don’t like watching them at night because I won’t be able to sleep.”

I could hear him talking softly to someone then I heard the sound of shopping bags or something like that, then he came back on the phone, “Sorry my weekly food delivery has just arrived. I’m back.”

“You get your food delivered for you?” I asked, half amused and the other half in shock as I shook my head a little.

“Yup, I just put what I want on a list and a person gets the food for me then delivers it to my house.” He said, putting away his food delivery away.

“I knew that you use Uber now but I didn’t actually you used that food delivery thing also. Perks of being rich, I guess.” I joked, standing up and walking to the kitchen, searching for something to snack on. Not because I was hungry but because I was bored.

“No, not because I am rich, you could use it too. It’s an app.” Shane said, balling up the bags, I had to pull away the phone from my ear as he did so because it was a loud noise. Then he threw the bags away, “It’s easier than actually going shopping and dealing with other customers. Now back to the subject of movies, you know damn well that I’d protect you at night. I wouldn’t mind wrapping my arms around while you tried to sleep either.”

My stomach did a cart wheel while my heart stopped and my mouth went dry. I had to remind myself to take a breath.

‘He was just messing around. You know, Shane just being Shane.’ I told myself shaking my head.

“Yeah, yeah.” I said as I found a four snack pack of chocolate puddings and I grabbed two then a spoon. I pealed one open as I walked back to the living room and took a few bites.

“What are you doing?” Shane asked, “You sound like you are hunting for food or something. Did I make you hungry?”

“Kinda, yeah. I am eating a few things of those pudding snack things.” I said as I scooped another mouthful and put it in my mouth, “I think a veteran group that gives us food sometimes gave us the pudding packages.”

“A veteran group?” Shane asked me.

“I thought I told you a while ago, my mother and father were in the Air Force, so Mom found a Facebook group bout a year ago to help us for things. Like for example, they helped us move. Like with people to move boxes and heavy things. Then every other weekend they send us a few boxes of food and other items like soap, shampoo, and toothpaste.”

“That is awesome. Please tell Momma Barnum that I say thank you for her service.” Shane told me then I heard the noise that an oven makes when you turned it on.

“Of course, I will.” I said, smiling softly, twirling the spoon in my hand, then took another mouthful.

“Oh, that is why you guys were in Germany! That makes sense now.” Shane exclaimed and I swallowed my mouthful of pudding before I laughed.

“Hey don’t laugh at me, missy. It’s early here and I haven’t gone to bed yet.” He said, I could him moving around and then I heard eggs cracking against the pan.

“You are making eggs?” I asked Shane.

“Yes, I am.”

I took another bite, finishing up my first pudding cup, “So you do know how to cook?” I asked jokingly, “From watching some of your videos, I was scared that you didn’t know how.”

“Actually, yes I do know how to cook. Mom taught me so I cook somewhat well, there is some things that I have trouble with, but all in all I’m a good cook.” He said after he laughed.

“That is great, I was worried we’d have Taco Bell every single night or something.” I joked again.

“Nah, not every night.” Shane said, I heard him moving around his kitchen, probably getting a plate and a fork for his eggs, “Trust me, I won’t starve you. You will be well fed while you are here.”

“I am glad, I am used to Mom’s homemade cooking.” I told Shane, then I heard a soft ding, telling me that I just got a message. I quickly put Shane on speakerphone so I could see who messaged me.

It was my mother.

Mom- Headed home, had a low blood sugar problem at work and they told me to go home. Want something to eat?

“I get that completely.” Shane said with his mouthful of egg.

I texted my mother as I spoke, “How is your breakfast? I love scrambled eggs with peppers and hot sauce.”

Jess- That’s scary. I am in the mood for Burger King. You know what I like from there.

“Yes, very good. What are you doing? I can hear you typing.” He asked with another mouthful of egg. It didn’t bother me that he talked with his mouthful of food.

“Mom texted me, so I texted her back. She had a low sugar problem at work and they sent her home for the rest of the day. She asked if I wanted anything to eat from anywhere.”

“That sounds awful. Is she diabetic?” He asked, concerned. My heart melted, knowing that he cared about my mother, even though he hadn’t even met her.

“Oh yeah, she is fine, she probably drank some orange juice or ate a few pieces of chocolate to raise it. She has had diabetes since she was pregnant with Sophia, so she knows what to do. Thank you for your concern about her, though. That means a lot to me.” I told him.

“Of course. She sounds like a badass. Serving in the Air Force, raising a physically disabled child completely on her own for most of your childhood, having diabetes. She raised you wonderfully, you are sweet but you can kick some ass if need be. You are well rounded you don’t have your hand out for things. You take risks and don’t wait for people to make things happen for you.”

I felt my cheeks reddening as he spoke, I ate my last pudding cup in four bites then took care of my trash, “Thank you.” I put my spoon in a bowl that had water already in it then walked back in the living room, I heard Mom pull into the driveway, “Mom is home now.”

I walked back to the living room so that I could grab Bela’s collar s it would a little easier when Mom walked into the front door with the fast food.

“Oh, do you want me to let you go?” Shane asked me, he sounded like he was outside in his backyard, probably taking Uno outside.

“Only if you want to.” I said softly, not really wanting to hang up, I actually could talk to him all day long, but I knew that he had other things to do.

“I feel dead on my feet, so I am going to try to sleep. Tell Momma Barnum that I say hi.” He said to me.

“Will do.” I told him then saw that Tobias ran to the front door like I feared, “Hey, Tob come back here.” I said to Tobias as my mother walked in and Shane said, “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, Shane. Bye.” I muttered softly.

“Bye Jess.” Then Shane hung up. I tossed my phone on the couch besides me, “Tob!” I hollered at him, getting upset that Tobias was not moving.

“Get back, dumb dog. Let me in.” My mother said, holding a Burger King fast food bag and a large soda. Tobias was bouncing around in tiny the entry way, not really letting my mother inside the rest of the house, luckily I had Bella so it wasn’t too jammed up for Mom to get inside the house.

“Tob! Move, you big dumb dog.” I hollered at him and then finally he laid back down on his blanket. Bella was still lying next to me because I still had a hold of her own collar so that she wouldn’t jump on Mom.

After Mom walked in and shut the heavy wooden door. I let Bella go so she could sniff Mom to see where she was before she got home.

“Was that Shane?” My mother asked me, pointing at my phone that was still lilt up and beside me. She smiling softly at me. I nodded my head, smiling back at her, “Yes it was.”

She handed me a large soda from Burger King, “I got you a burger, onion rings and an A&W root beer. All your favorites.” She sat down, kicking off her purple nursing shoes.

I took the soda and set it down on the end table besides my coffee cup as she put the bag on a wheeled tray that I used for all sorts of things, but I mainly used the tray to eat on.

“So, do you still like him?” My mother asked me, I bit my lower lip as I unwrapped my burger, utterly silent. My mother eyed me, “Oh Jess, you do! Why can’t you just admit it to yourself? He is a nice guy, also not bad on the eyes.”

“Mom! He is my age that is just gross!” I wrinkled my nose then I pretended to gag.

She gave me a side look, “I meant for you. He seems to like you also.”

I cocked my head at her, grabbing the messy burger, “Mom, please stop. He is just a friend. A very best friend. Nothing more, so shut up.” I said then took a bite.

“I am not blind, Jessa. I can see it, you do have feelings for him. You’ve always had feelings for him.” She said as Bella jumped on her lap and she wrapped her arms around Bella, “Hey sweetie. Yes, Momma is home for the rest of the day.”

“Fine.” I sighed, “Sure. I like Shane, but he’ll never like me back.” I shook my head as I swallowed my bite, pushing back my bit of hair that flopped into my eye as I shook my head, “He said a long time ago that he thought of me as a younger sister. Would you ever want to date someone who you thought of as a sibling?”

She wrinkled her thin nose, “Oh. Well, it had been years since you two had talked. Feelings can change. He did suggest for you to visit him, not any of his other friends.”

I thought of what she just said, chewing my food. She did have a point, like most mothers. He did suggest for me to visit, none of his local friends, none of his guy friends. He asked me. His female friend that he had for years.

‘Maybe his feelings changed, but how? We hadn’t talked in years.’

--

It was around three o’clock and I was waiting for Shane’s new video to be posted. I already knew what it was about because he had tweeted about it and told me over a phone call. In the video was about him selling a very used pair of his underwear. He just wanted to see how much the bidding would up to in a twenty-four hour period.

I clicked the refresh button my YouTube webpage that I had open on my laptop and saw that his video was there on top. He just posted it!

I clicked on it and watched it with my headphones in. I had learned fairly early on that if I watched any of his videos I needed headphones, because one day when I was twenty-three I had thought I was home alone so I decided not to have headphones in while binge watched Shane’s videos. Unfortunately I wasn’t home alone, Step Father Number Two was home and rushed into my room, thinking I was watching gay porn.

How embarrassing!

So yeah, no matter what, I always had headphones in while I watched his videos, just to be careful. After I watched the video I decided to text Shane, to tell him that I watched his most recent video.

Jessa- I just saw the underwear video, I can’t believe you were able to post that bid for a little while, till they contacted you to tell you to take the bid down.

It wasn’t even ten minutes later and he was calling me, I answered it right away, “Hi, I just texted you because I didn’t want to bother you if you were filming or something.”

“No problem, if I am filming I tend to have the sound off on my phone so it won’t be in the video. So did you like the video?” Shane said.  

I walked to my bed and flopped backwards, landing on the middle of the bed, “I liked it. It was a little different from your usual videos. Thankfully you used a better pair of your underwear.” I smiled to myself, remembering when he did a closet tour one year and showed all of his holey underwear.

‘Ew!’

“I had those pair since before I dated Lisa.” He said, laughing a little, “So they are very used.”

“If eBay didn’t call you and ask you to take the bid down, would you actually give them away?” I asked him, full of curiosity.

“No, I was actually thinking of taking the post down before I got the call.” Shane said, “It was a joke that got out of hand. Besides I wouldn’t know what to do with that sort of money.”

‘Shane was being humble. I loved that.’

Having fame didn’t get into his head and change him in any way, like most ‘YouTube celebrities’. He was the same old Shane before his fame hit. He didn’t even consider himself as a celebrity. But he did have two #1 hit books, he had a well-known movie and merch. He was even mentioned in a few gossip videos on a few gossip YouTube channels.

“You could’ve saved it and used it while I visit, or gave it away to charity, or gave it to Momma Yaw.” I said, listing just a few choices for him, “Momma Barnum would’ve fainted if you gave it to her.”

“You got a point.” Shane said softly, “Oh well, the post is gone. I might bid another item of clothing or something else though, so who knows.”

“Maybe your conspiracy theory shirt.” I suggested to him.

“That would be cool.” He agreed with me.

--

We were still talking on the phone and it was close to midnight my time, I was sitting next to black wooden short bookshelf, debating on which books I’d be taking with me. I already had a small pile of books on my bed. The pile had my copies of the Harry Potter series, The Lord of the Rings, The Fault In Our Stars, I had added the saga called The Crossfire Series, they were like the Fifty Shades series, but slightly different, then lastly in the pile a few books I had gotten from my nocturnal book box that I gotten every month.

“I can hear you mumbling to yourself, what are you doing?” Shane asked me.

“I am debating on what sort of books I should bring with me.” I told him, putting the small pile of books in my blue bag.

“You are actually bringing books?” Shane said, dumbfounded. Shane hardly ever read books and yet he wrote two on his own. “Why? I won’t leave you alone, so you don’t need to bring things to entertain yourself.”

As he said that my eyes locked onto the plastic bag of sex toys and I blushed a deep red, “I know but I am an early bird and you are a night owl, what will I do while you are dead to the world?”

“Watch television or movies, play with Cheeto or Uno...” He laughed slightly, “Bring whatever you want, Jess. I was just messing with you.”

I removed The Fault In Our Stars and put it in my oversized purse that I was going to use as my carry-on, “I know you were messing with me.” I got up and pushed back my bed covers then climbed in, “I am getting tired, but I don’t want to stop talking to you.” I admitted softly, blushing.

I heard Shane sit on one of his couches, “We could stay on the phone until you fall asleep or we can stay on the phone till the morning.”  He suggested to me, then he took a gulp of something, knowing him, it was most likely soda.

“We can stay the phone until the morning, only if you want.” I muttered softly, getting comfortable in bed.

“That sound like a wonderful plan.” Shane said.

So we did that, we talked some more until my eyes finally gave up and closed.

#shanedawson #shaneyaw #shanedawsonfanfiction #fanfic

[eyesaremosaics]

What are your thoughts on Pisces?

Pisces.I love Pisces probably more than any other sign. Most likely because I have a Pisces moon, which means I understand them emotionally on a level other people do not. Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, meaning they carry with them all the qualities of the other signs. The are a prism. A hodgepodge, a mosaic of traits which seem undesirable on a surface level.

Pisces see and feel it all, yet they are very quiet and passive about it. They know intuitively when you are not doing well, and why. They also know exactly where to touch you to heal. My brother is a Pisces, he’s also a massage therapist. He knows exactly where to go to get to the pain in your body, and exactly what he needs to do to heal it.

They have deep empathy for human beings and all the creatures of this earth. If someone had deep piscean influence in their chart, they will tend to have a mystical, mysterious aura about them, and they will have deep empathy and understanding for everyone they encounter. They love animals, and tend to have a fairytale princess effect on them. Pisces are easy to confide in. They get you. In a way you don’t even fully understand, and they don’t need explanations.

Pisces is drifting along in an aimless dream of romance and inspiration. They are dreamers. Pisces is so involved with their imagination and very active fantasy life, that they often forget the real world exists, and are very disturbed when reality sets in. They are easily disillusioned, because they see the good in people. They trust first, and question second. Very childlike in that way. Often they do not understand cruelty, it is not inherently in their nature.

Now, the argument goes: well there were multiple serial killers who were Pisces. Richard Ramirez and John Wayne Gacy for example. These were also double Pisces, Pisces sun and moon. I truly believe these people were so abused and neglected as children that they turned to their overactive imagination to escape. These dark fantasies of theirs... Became horrifying reality. It was a way to take back power and control that they never had. They were divorced from reality as a result of trauma. it was a maladaptive coping mechanism. Pisces can either be a saint, or the embodiment of evil. They can be easily swayed to the dark side. Pisces does not fear the dark, they welcome it with a frightening intensity that is not for the faint hearted. When Scorpio is trying to harness the darkness, and Capricorn is resonating with it... Pisces is being quietly devoured--and they like it.

Pisces are the most capable of lying to themselves. They need fantasy to feel alive. They need dreams and otherworldly experiences to fulfill their spirit. Their perception is so deep, that it is wasted on shallow pursuits. Pisces is shy; they "connect deeply, or not at all" like Anais Nin (Pisces). Pisces is very idealistic. Their motto is “it should be!” Which it often isn’t.

Pisces feels way too much, all at once. It's overwhelming, and no other sign could handle the intensity that they feel. A dark storm brewing on the horizon. Their emotions are natural disasters inside of them. Terrifying to behold. Yet also beautiful. They find beauty in everyone and everything. They have a magic about them that is all their own. The paint such vivid pictures, and convince with their dreamy hypnotic aura. ,

If they have heavy fire influence in their chart, they may come across as aggressive, but honestly, they are big softies. Pisces Men like John Wayne and Johnny Cash have a rough and tumble exterior, but inside they are soft hearted, and very romantic .

Often Pisces feel suicidal, more so than any other sign. It’s because of the intensity of their feelings. They are also more likely to fall into drugs and alcohol. Their very nature is escapism, so addiction is a slippery slope. Pisces carries the weight of all the other signs with them. They are on their way out, back to the universe. Likened to the elderly person on their death bed, coming to peace with their death. That is why they have a mystical quality. They are otherworldly. Something not of this earth, or faraway in their eyes. like the third brother in the deathly hallows. They found a clever way to evade death, through invisibility, when they are ready to ascend, they greet death as an old friend.

Pisces can be moody, and difficult to be with. It’s because they are at the mercy of their emotions, even though they try desperately to hide it. The war in their mind is constant, and very real. The sky clears when they are inspired or in love. In the same way an autistic child is overwhelmed by external stimuli , Pisces is overwhelmed by too much empathy. They are burdened with it. Much like Kurt Cobain (Pisces). He started a revolution in the 90s, of men being angry and vulnerable in a way that was not expressed before.

People tend to ignore the strength and resilience of Pisces. Because they are sensitive, people perceive them as weak or fragile. This couldn’t be any father from the truth. They have a deep reservoir of strength in them, and they know how to claw their way out of the deepest holes. Their complex understanding of human nature, and acceptance of others lends them and an enduring unconditional love that other signs can’t begin to comprehend. They have a deep mystical wisdom, and they understand life on an objective and emotional level that can often astound others.

Often Pisces will be completely devoted to a person. They are generally very submissive by nature, and often let their partner guide the relationship. After their illusions of this person are shattered however, they will often drift into a new relationship without realizing it, and are perplexed as to why the other person is upset. They are mutable, just like Virgo and Sagittarius, so they easily adapt to circumstance. The problem with Pisces though, is that they will tolerate abuse in the name of love much longer than any other sign.

They want to believe the good in people, and will readily make excuses for their loved ones because they empathize and understand where they are coming from. This leaves them to be martyred and badly used. They are “prey” or “easy targets” because they so readily accept people’s explanations.

An example of Pisces resilience is Elizabeth Taylor. This woman endured physical illness, injury, and brushes with death all her life. Also, suffered deep personal loss. Her first husband was heir to the Hilton fortune. He hit her, and cheated on her continually (this is at the height of her physical beauty), then married her soul mate who died in a horrific plane crash. She married his best friend (amidst great scrutiny) trying to remain close to him, then met the true love of her life Richard Burton, who mirrored her own self destruction through drugs and alcohol.

They almost killed each other, despite the passionate intensity of their love. They were still deeply in love when they finally separated (after a divorce and remarriage, nearly twenty years of connection) but they understood that they were dying together. “Pray for us” she said to the press. They never stopped loving each other, even though they both remarried. On his death bed Richard said: “goddamnit I still love that bloody woman.”

She wore his ring until she died, and ordered her ashes to be scattered in Wales where he was born.

She survived James dean’s death (a close friend), along with Montgomery Clift’s overdose (her best friend). She took all her losses really hard, and nearly died from the grief every time, yet somehow she survived stronger than ever.

Pisces is able to overcome great trauma with wisdom. They find great wisdom In the wound, and are therefore very healing. Michelangelo was a Pisces, and he was a testament to their vision and creativity.

Even the most influential musicians of our time have Pisces influence, Prince, Elvis, Michael Jackson all have Pisces moon. They are dynamic in their own signs (Gemini, Capricorn, Virgo) yet the Pisces almost overpowers their personality. They have a unique gentleness and sensitivity.

I once was friends with a Pisces girl, who knew what I was feeling before I could vocalize it. She and I were able to communicate with very few words. It was almost telepathic. It felt symbiotic in a way, the connection. She had big doe eyes, a sleek figure with the tiniest waist, big pouty fish lips, and long shiny chestnut hair. She was mesmerizing in her beauty. As a ballerina, she had this grace about her movements that was tranquilizing to watch. I was ostracized in my acting class--no one wanted to work with me, yet here comes this graceful creature. She nestled beside me gently as a swan. "I want to help you. I will be your partner." She said kindly. She understood every wavelength, the still waters that run deep. I used to sleep over her house. Listening to Lana del Rey's "ultra violence", painting, smoking cigarettes... The thick miasma of smoke coiling like spirits in the air, whispering to one another, giggling like little girls, reading tarot and feeling serene.

She created an atmosphere of dreams and visions. Like a cloud of Egyptian smoke. They are the priests and priestesses of the zodiac. They are the reflection of the moon in the silvery surface of the lake. The eerie humming from another room, the sound of an out of tune piano echoing from somewhere upstairs. They are the scratch of the needle when a record has ended. The static in between frequencies, the sound of something coming through. Satin shoes wet from the rain. They are the lily floating on bracken water. The musical playlist you never knew you needed. The martyr, the madman. illusion, chivalry, The feeling of falling into a dream, a metaphor, a transient state of being. The rainbow fish. The giving tree. .

They are the poignant psychologist, the princess in the ivory tower, the knight in shining armor. The artist. The sensitive. They are fresh paint on a prepped canvas, blues, greens, purples bleeding together. Silk, chiffon, butterfly wings. The morning dew on the grass. They are ghosts, seances, tarot readings inns dimly lit parlor, pendulum swaying, a bull in a china shop, miniature porcelain figurines, veils, the witch on the bayou… A glass vase full of ballet shoes, shells and imitation pearls. Sand slipping through the hourglass. Giggles, hiding in the garden beneath the rose bushes, imagination games, scary stories around the fire.

They are screams In the pillow, drug addiction, sexual exaltation. Spiritual awakening, the magician. History, psychology, social sciences, art, music. Piscean a are moved by music. They are ancient texts. Sacred spells. Mystics, healers, They are tears, pearls, pink satin, pale blue silk, the color of the sky, the feeling of drowning, unconditional love, complete understanding, non-judgement, nostalgia, holding on to the past with romantic reverence, fairy tales, horror stories the feeling of bliss. Becoming a child again, a knowing child.

#asks #Pisces #astrology #zodiac #Pisces moon #Pisces traits #Pisces feels

[trashabilly]

main story ocs (as of aug 15/17)

avery dallas: 26/white/m/aro ace (likes dudes) bulimic, autistic, dark magister but has no control over his magic yet, from norwich has a pretty nasally british accent, lived in and out of foster care and orphanages w/ william until he was 18 and they moved to canada. lived off their inheritance for a while until they started hunting. loses smokes & pens in his hair. like rob zombie and sweeney todd.

william dallas: 22/white/m/pan, struggles with addiction and his temper. bleaches his hair and laughs too loud. nobody but avery is allowed to call him will. worked his ass of to lose his accent after they moved to vancouver. was abused by a foster father who they lived with for about 4 years. bff is amy-grace. owns 2 3ds’. likes the addams family and the wombats.

daniel evans-hirsch: 33/black/jewish/m/gay, deaf in both ears, loves coffee and detective movies. sams fiance. the general boss of the organization. visits his lesbian moms every week. very enthusiastic abt dogs, very bad at board games. family has been hunting for generations. considers the dallas brothers both good friends and the banes of his existence. likes grimes and victor victoria

sam mcpherson: 30/mexican & irish/ bi/m, from boston. engaged to daniel. bad attitude. got possessed when he was younger and the demon used him to go on a killing spree over 3 months. he got a very poorly done exorcism that just fused him and the demon into one person. lost left arm about 10 years previously. food network junkie. likes shakey graves and golden girls

oliver pleasant (kheelan ilbryn): “28” (280)/white/gay/m, fae, owns a cafe with marcellus. is living in the human realm not very legally. was the high mage of the kings court before he ran away bc he fell in love with a reaper (marcellus) so they could be together. stole a shit ton of spellbooks. loves being naked. a lot of people think his glamour is a cosplay. thicc. likes marina and the diamonds and the conjuring.

marcellus ezra: “35” (350)/indian/gay/m, reaper stationed in vancouver. workaholic. tall n lanky, loves oliver and works at the cafe on his days off. likes to garden, carries his (folding) scythe in a fabric guitar case. is permanently stationed in the human realm after an “incident” with his boss (death) that he doesn’t like to talk abt. always very tired. likes me first and the gimme gimmes and hp (the 3rd one specifically)

victoria gray: 24/sekani/bi/f, smart as fuck. record keeper (researcher) but is combat trained, just avoids it if she can. loves fashion and the smell of gasoline. was absolutely team jacob. keeps every calendar she’s ever used. collects stickers to give to people. wants kids. likes the killers and mean girls.

raven gray: 24/sekani/ aro ace/f, field agent, loves shitty horror movies, best buddies w avery, former mall goth. cries when she thinks abt dogs and cute girls. either dresses like shes from a tim burton movie or like shes raided reds closet. likes voltaire and the princess bride.

ivan botrokoff: 36/white/bi/m, very russian and very large. assassin turned monster hunter, works with katya. huge burn scars on one side of his face, his hobby is deadlifting his friends. he’s a special agent who deploys all over the world. likes fabrika and silence of the lambs.

ekaternina (katya) dresvyanin: 35/tiawanese&russian/lesbian/trans woman (post op), also very large. can sprint in heels, assassin turned monster hunter, deploys world wide. works with ivan. really wants to propose to tamela who shes been dating for about 5 years but shes really nervous. passionate abt flowers and her gf. likes gogol bordello and true crime docs.

tamela jakanda: 30/black/lesbian/trans woman (pre op), wanted to help katya with her job so she became a record keeper. she runs a popular makeup blog and wants to have her own line of cosmetics someday. shy and quiet, gets along really well with oliver. doesn’t like fighting but really loves her job as a researcher. likes studio killers and atla/lok

red: 29/mexican/pan/trans guy (post top surgery) the only existing light magister, extremely powerful, wears tinted and enchanted glasses to keep his magic in check. loves memes more than he loves himself. he’s from oakland, tells people his full name is “brick gertrude wallaby red”. this is not true. only isao knows his real name. has his bachelor of science and wants a degree in robotics. builds annoying robots for fun. lives with isao and has a huge crush on him. skateboards almost everywhere. likes glass animals and what we do in the shadows.

isao tomioka: 33/japanese/gay/trans man (post op) half human, daniels boss. college history professor. has been friends with red for 10 years (they went to college together), he’s had a crush on him the whole time. doesn’t understand memes, speaks 7 languages, loves cats. him and red have a really cute house together but it has a super creepy basement. taught 1 lesson in a high school and swore he’d die before he did it again. likes royal blood and scooby doo.

cassius arden: 700+/egyptian/gay/m, warlock. materialistic, very powerful, changed his name after witch hunts. drinks coffee with 5 sugars and lots of cream. married to florian. has a bird and 3 fish tanks. likes sitting in the living room and screaming in tandem with his cockatiel. has a chair on the council of human/non-human relations and magic regulations. likes kesha and the office

florian koztolànyi: 400/tibetan & hungarian/ pan/m, earth mage (different from magisters bc he’s not human but different from warlocks bc there aren’t any demonic influences) vegetarian, mostly uses magic to grow plants and cheat at gardening competitions. the sensible husband. wears almost exclusively greens and browns. grows flowers in his braid. also has a seat on the council. likes childish gambino and hocus pocus.

fang-lin ji: 49/chinese/gay/m, demon, won’t tell anyone how old he actually is. uses seals to make himself look human. really strong but also really weird, owns a specialty store for non-human essentials/supplies with his family. helps daniel out when he needs it. nobody’s sure if he’s wei and hua-lings dad or their older brother. buys groceries at really bizarre hours. likes the ramones and rocky horror

wei ji: 23/chinese/bi/m, demon. actually 23, won’t use seals to look human, has a giant mouth on his stomach and likes to glue googly eyes to his nipples to make a face. a little shit. friends with benefits with william. hua-lings twin, 10 minutes older and never lets her forget it. likes tenacious d and the pick of destiny (album and movie)

hua-ling ji: 23/chinese/bi/f, actually 23. uses seals, more technical strength than wei. loves ballet but it pretty clumsy. she tries her best. the good twin. would live off peach milk tea if she could (she cant) collects sunglasses and hair clips. thinks draco malfoy is really hot and used to write self insert fanfics. likes daoko and anastasia.

amy-grace faust: 19/vietnamese & german/lesbian/f, williams best friend and fellow member of the “no nicknames club” is a record keeper alongside victoria and tamela. pretty quiet doesn’t really interact with any of the field agents besides william and sometimes avery. most of them have never met her. 40% of her wardrobe was stolen from william. shes his weed buddy. really good at her job. thinks red is cool and sometimes helps him with his robots and he dyes her hair. likes badflower and the swan princess.

#anyway this whole thing took forever bye #but my trans characters are non negotiable lol #but this sorts everything out as far as whats currently official #hm sorry this is so long #long post // #story ocs #story ocs list #the only reason i specify who's trans and not who's cis is bc im totally open to people saying they're trans/nb whatever #alec talks

[vanityshewrotearchive2]

Emma Rosen and Axton Max : Liz Left Again

Word Count: 1141

Fandom:  

Triggers: mention of attempted suicide

Axton had been watching the door for at least thirty minutes and he was only aware of time because he heard the beginning credits and ending credits to that horrible show with clearly but not quite autistic lead. And before that he had been looking at the phone for a whole hour at least, after he had been calling and calling but after she answered and they exchanged only the fewest of words, she hung up and disconnected. The phone wouldn’t even ring anymore which is why he had taken to looking at the door now, just waiting for her, willing her to walk through even though he’s aware she won’t. He brushed his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. Why couldn’t she be like others girls? Who are just doing this for attention… I mean the amount of times his ex had done something similar- not this fucking insane- but similar it had always been a cry for attention that as soon as he showed her a bit of it she was putty. He frowned and pushed Sasha out of his mind. His eyes went to the floor finally feeling a bit tired but his ears perked up as he heard the twist of the doorknob and the door opening. He looked up, ashamed at how hopeful he must be that it was her but seeing the white “kitten” tights and knee length 50’s style dress he knew it was Emma. She came in carefully and looked over at him, giving him an apologetic look although she should have been mad he didn’t call her after his last talk with Liz when he promised he would. He always promised that to Emma and it was rare he went through with it.

Emma closed the door and threw her bag and keys on the counter near the door and slipped off her heels. “Hey.” She said softly.

Axton nodded to her and fell back onto the bed unable muster a response.  

She went over to him after putting her coat on the back of one of their chairs and then turning off the television wincing at the sound of it. Axton looked at her, narrowing his eyes because to him most of the things Emma did were wrong. She might be his girlfriend’s best friend… or his bestfriend’s girlfriend… but it was always a struggle for the two of them to ever forge a serious connection. He was about to inform her he was watching it when she started speaking. “You weren’t watching it and I don’t have time for your… well just you.” Emma said turning back towards him. Axton couldn’t refute that but he also couldn’t admit he had just been watching the door.

“Well, did you at least bring me coffee.”

Emma sucked in her cheeks and rolled her eyes going over to her bag and pulling out a rather large bottle of wine and went over to him. He looked at it but only took it as Emma shoved it in his face. He twisted it opened, meaning she must have picked this up at the seven eleven near them, and that she wasn’t going to be upset like she usually would for not using a glass, and he nodded, understanding. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” She replied, sitting down next to him and slouching which was something uncommon for her, Axton only realized because she looked so much shorter than normal because of it. Emma’s eyes roamed the clothes littered on the floor and Axton prayed, (well not prayed) that she wouldn’t draw a connection with the mess that Axton lived in for a reason Liz left, again. Because he might have been drawing the same conclusions in his despair and it would be more real if it was said out loud and he didn’t know how to shut Emma up.  He was so use to Jason’s indifference and non observant nature that it was a bit different, and almost scary, with Emma.

He took a big sip of the wine and feeling the harsh wine run down his throat actually helped him. And he almost wanted to smile, but he didn’t and just took another sip.

Emma seemed to be fidgeting as she played with the cap she picked up that Axton put down, obviously getting ready to say something, Axton realized. Which surprised him in that moment that he had spent enough time around her to pick up on things like that with her.

“I just thought I’d come here and make sure you were okay.” She blurted out a bit nervously.  

Axton let the fact he was surprised only last for a moment before nodding. “Well, I’m fine.” His voice sharp, apparently hoping that she’d want to leave.

Emma blinked quickly, shifting slightly and letting her hand crumple up his blanket in her hand. She let her eyes drop to the carpet and began to speak, softly.

“When we were 8 or 9, she ran away three blocks down to the train station and she told no one and left no clues besides a note in crayon in the best script she could muster on a plain piece of paper. Jac called me immediately and I remember screaming at the top of my lungs until mother drove me over to the Queen’s house where I pulled Jac into a tight hug because this was the worst thing to happen in our nine years of living.”  She bit down on her lip and stayed quiet for a few moments before looking over at Axton.

“What did you do?”

Emma shrugged, letting her feet drag. “Nothing. I do what I do now, prance around on eggshells and make sure that she isn’t secretly trying to tell us she wants to kill herself.” Emma balled her hands up in front of herself.

Axton nodded along until he heard the last part. Oh god- He hadn’t even thought of that. Visions of Liz somewhere in an alleyway, dirty and alone- her wrist cut- god why does he even watch those animes? He looked panicked at Emma, gripping her wrist which made her look up. She didn’t realize the effect of her words.

“Oh, oh no, I’m sorry. Not- no she doesn’t. She hasn’t… not concretely, not enough.” Emma said, giving him a weak smile that made the corner of her lip twitch. “I would tell you… or Jac… or someone.” In fact she had spent long nights discussion it with Jason when she was unable to go to sleep around the time that her disappears would last weeks and weeks. Emma always thought it was rude to have one ounce of happy moment when she knew Liz was somewhere else.

Axton shook his head. “Oh god, I never even thought…” He began. His head felt like it was spinning.

#emwrites #emwrites: emma rosen #emwrites: axton max