#shes just perfect for so many songs I Think like out of all my autistic connections to music with st characters

[robinsteves]

nancy wheeler against god

#the way. Nancy is kinda my muse #shes just perfect for so many songs I Think like out of all my autistic connections to music with st characters #nancy is definitely the most Accuracte every time #HER BIG SAD EYES #anyway this is. Her. #its like we’re looking at her insides I Fear and she would hate this but whatever thats why its good. #‘its good’ its alright in execution but in theory in idea its FLAWLESS ny best idea ever #probably has been done millions of times and understandably. #rip nancy wheeler you’d love the two big Fs #(florence and the machine and fiona apple) #ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THE LAST CLIP THEY BOTH LOOK TO HER LIKE YES WITH US BUT MAINLY WITH NANCY BITCH!!!!! #nancywheeleredit #nancy wheeler #strangerthingsedit #stranger things

[rothjuje]

Justin is about to leave for 10 days. This is the longest he’s ever been away. Ugh.

His work trip is in Dallas. I’m insanely jealous. He gets to see our friends and old neighbors, and he gets to eat at our favorite spots. He wanted us to join, I just thought it would be too much with G&G, who don’t sleep in hotels or travel well. But dang, we should have gone just for the weekend. Regrets.

So many changes are taking place. The school year is wrapping up, Alyssa’s Celebration of Growth is tomorrow. The weather is heating up. I’m hanging out more with my kindergarten mom squad friends. I don’t know. I have big feelings about our first real summer here. Maybe I have some mild PTSD from last summer? I don’t know. The stress of it still makes me nauseous when I think about it. Ha! Maybe the move will be a traumaversary in my life now. Is that possible? Maybe, since the move from CA to TX broke my heart into a million little pieces and MA, while a definite upgrade, was still a small echo of that. Leaving friends and loved ones and places that felt like home and venturing into the great unknown. Sigh. It’s been crazy and fun and exciting and new and great but there have been times where I’ve felt alone, like I’ll never truly fit in here. But there are a bunch of transplants in my kindergarten mom squad and that has helped.

I’ve also met several moms with autistic kiddos. It’s nice to have a support system of people who get it. I used to have so much anxiety about his milestones and meeting kids older than him who eventually developed meaningful speech has been so nice. George has started to say some more meaningful words and phrases (“cracker” for Graham cracker, he refers to himself as “Georgie”, and he tells us “no” now when he doesn’t want to do something). He still says tickle and peekaboo when he wants to play and cheese when you take his picture. He’s getting there. He’ll get there. He’s the cuddliest, sweetest guy with the best disposition out of every kid I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t change him for one second, I just hope I get to hear about his interests some day.

Alyssa still wants to be both JoJo Siwa and a chef. Her favorite songs are Party in the USA and Shake it Off, she dances to them on repeat. I bet she would love Hannah Montana. She has poses now that she practices in the mirror and I honestly think she is perfect in every way. And very entertaining.

Gen is Gen. She is The Boss. Preschool two days a week next year will do her some good I think. The FCC classes are so great but they require parent participation and she rather be with me than her classmates, so her participation level is low. It will be so good for her to be with peers when mom isn’t there. She is so smart, she watches everything and everyone. She talks so much, and most of it sounds like a little grownup, she is very articulate. She is also fascinated by babies and batteries.

That’s pretty much it. Girls will do swim lessons, gardening class, and gymnastics this summer. George will have his IEP program for 3 hours M-Th. We’ll pack a picnic lunch, pick him up from school, and either head to the lake or playground for the afternoon. I’d love to wear them out every day and have early bedtimes. And it’s so much easier to parent outdoors. Weather is perfect here, TX you could really only enjoy the outdoors in the morning or evening, it will be nice to have all day to be outside.

[centralkvetchmonolith]

Jaz sent me a TikTokTM

This particular TikTokTM is a cover of "I'm On Fire", by Bruce Springsteen, which cover is performed by a 22yo with the thesis "dad rock and lesbian indie are essentially the same thing".

As is typical, I said something about the vibes which made perfect sense to me but was impenetrable to my conversational partner. This, uh, caused me to wax poetical about what I meant, which is ALSO very typical, specifically for when I am talking about Bruce Springsteen songs.

To wit: "Springsteen's sheets are soaking wet because of the sort of desire that bubbles up against the stifling heat of the waning summer; the restless kind that would drive someone out to the hills on the off chance that SOMETHING could happen tonight. Thea's sheets are soaking wet because of the febrile tossing and turning that one does in the first week the boiler is switched on for one's apartment; it's a desire that turns in tightening gyre and doesn't want to move but laments the lack of movement anyway."

Thinking this hard about something I'm already autistic about triggered the dreaded hyperfixation, and so of course I immediately started listening to all the covers I could get my gay little hands on via Spotify, and assigning them months.

Soccer Mommy is April: I'm not sure for what their desire burns, but maybe they aren't either Electrelane is late July: The mumbled drudgery of summer gains steam over the course of the song; by the end the energy that's been building slowly the whole time has bloomed in a revelry in the joy of desire, much like the heat that's been building over the course of the month & season. Bat For Lashes changed the lyrics to make it straight, and embodies December. There's an arcane quality to how she sings this song, like the plodding dark of the solstice. Her desire is to feel worthy of inclusion in winter, despite being so early in the meteorological season. Chromatics is February: The desire here is buffeted about between thaw and freeze; these sheets are soaking wet from sleety rain and the hope for what could come after. Gus Dapperton is FAITHFUL to the original, putting them solidly in September. Where it differs from Springsteen's song, it is with an eager energy that hopes for reinvention. Shakey Graves has the most inventive cover so far, netting June. I heard he killed a guy. The Staves is the band that Thea Grace was shouting out, but they're distinctly March. Their sheets are soaking wet with the meltwater of the very end of the month; their desire is cooled, but by the runoff of the love they already have - no need to chase after the unobtainable. Cassandra Violet's version sure is for a motion picture (Pig???!?); the energy here is all montage. I wanna say October? AWOLNATION is January; their desire throbs like the first tension headache one gets from a truly cold day. I'm starting to have trouble focusing (blame it on my ADD) and we're running out of months, so I don't know that there will be many more. Low is late October: The Halloween spirit thrums through this song like holding hands with a girl while you both watch your first R-rated scary movie. Town Mountain has August energy…it's finally another novel take on this song, though it's distinctly "bluegrass band booked some studio recording time and sounds nothing like they did at the house concert you saw them at" so I hesitate to call it inventive. OKAY LAST ONE BECAUSE THERE ARE LIKE FIFTY OF THESE: CLAVVS is May. No I didn't pick that just because it's the only month left. No I will not elaborate on my reasons.

Here they are in chronological order according to the Hebrew calendar, ya sluts. Thanks for reading this whole thing.

P.S.: Jaz sent me the video in the first place because of my literary analysis of Springsteen's work as transfeminine and sapphic (specifically butch); there's just something about the way he says "hey little girl is your d*ddy home" that feels less like male territoriality and more like the conspiratorial wink of a dyke hoping to see you in your own right. Too, the way the narrator's class fundamentally alienates him from the (married, wealthy) object of affection and (wealthy, WASPy) masculinity mirrors the fundamental alienation that a butch woman might feel from her (presumed straight, at the very least femme) object of affection and (wealthy, male) masculine aesthetics. Look at the music video! The narrator hopes for a moment of understanding even across these gulfs!! The object of affection longs just as much, just as impossibly!!! This too is yuri!!!!!!!

#kosher queers dot gay #bruce springsteen #i'm on fire #playlist #this too is yuri #my brain eufunctions

[moonlarked]

So I just wanted to talk a little bit about the Songs post I made and the responses!

First of all: thank you @soryasongsaa @cogaytes @dizzythegreat @thebestbookshelf for responding! It means a lot to me that people are being so nice and willing to explain stuff!! ❤️❤️

My personal thoughts reading: I think it’s pretty messy. There’s no excuse for the stereotyping; it just seems lazy and unresearched. As someone who wants to get into writing myself, I would research for hours before even considering writing about a culture that isn’t my own. And, yeah, they’re elves, they don’t have human ethnicities, so it would be kinda weird to specify them as a specific nationality while not doing the same for the white coded characters, but Shannon should’ve put more into their characters.

Anyway, I still love the Songs. I feel like they’ve been fleshed our more, but it’s been pretty rocky. And now I’m gonna stop bc I don’t want to say more about a subject that I don’t really have a say in.

Thanks for giving me your perspective!

(below the cut is more of a personal vent, so you can stop here if you want. ❤️)

I’m gonna talk about my OCD now and how it connects to this situation.

It’s hard to explain, but basically I’ve discovered that I need my special interest (I’m autistic) to be perfect. If I find something that’s problematic about it - like a social media post - I’m gonna take the whole day to ruminate to try to get rid of that awful panic. Which sucks, because I have a life beyond fandom.

This started with Wanda Maximoff. The movie version. Basically the first character I ever really connected with due to her mental struggles and anxiety and coping mechanisms. I saw a lot of myself in WandaVision.

Now, this is Tumblr, and a lot of this discourse is on Tumblr, but in case you aren’t caught up: basically: Wanda Maximoff is a Jewish-Romani woman. The comic version, that is. The movie version is a white woman from a made up country called Sokovia. And many posts have called out the way that the mcu translation has been… less than accurate. They’ve added stereotyping and outdated tropes while not even letting her be her original ethnicity. And the actress playing her hasn’t exactly been well researched on the situation - she’s pretty ignorant and has said some problematic stuff.

“Whiteness” is a controversial subject and many people have argued over the race of Romani and Jewish people. Not to mention her representation in the comics is less than progressive in some areas. But having Wanda being played by a white woman takes away meaningful rep from historically persecuted minority groups.

Is any of this my fault? No. Did I still have a mental breakdown frequently about this? Yes.

You have to understand - I ADORED this character. In many ways I still do. This doesn’t excuse the problematic parts, but it caused me to be in constant self-loathing. I convinced myself I was horrible because I related to to this character. This caused me to look up posts about this subject in hopes of something that would fix this, something to prove all these people wrong.

It was a cycle. I wanted to die frequently. It may seem like I was overreacting, but my mind was in constant panic mode and to me this seemed incredibly important.

You know what saved me? Well, talking to my parents of course, and learning about ocd, and getting counseling.

But also: Keeper.

Returning to a series that genuinely gave me joy. Letting myself escape.

That’s where the Song twin controversy comes in.

You’ll probably guess I was pretty panicked when I found out about this controversy. It felt like Wanda all over again. I feel like I’m falling into this cycle again.

But I’m deciding I’m not gonna let myself do that.

I’m gonna accept the bad. I’m gonna like what I like. And I’m gonna talk about my feelings instead of bottling them up.

The Song twins are problematic. People have a right to call them out.

And I still love Kotlc. I will continue to love it and talk to others who love it.

I’m not going to fall into that misery again. I’m going to tell my ocd to fuck off. I’m going to go to therapy. I’m going to get better.

❤️❤️❤️

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc discourse #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #aur’s mental health #self harm #mental health issues #tam song #kotlc tam #linh song #kotlc linh #mai song #quan song

[ultimaid]

Kirumi (obv) and/or kaito for the ask game?

hmhmhm…!!

(under the cut; this got quite long.)

kirumi

favorite thing about them: the utter dedication to making life easier for everybody around her. she acts out of love for others. she always tries to serve what she believes to be the greater good.

least favorite thing about them: sigh. this is a writing issue, but i desperately wish the game didn’t present so many interesting thing about her and then just… never address them. her sense of self-worth is utterly abysmal. she is desperate for love and connection and care. she feels like she needs to be perfect at everything she does or she’ll never be worthy of love. those are very interesting things! and the game never brings them up! even in her graduation event, it’s treated like a good and positive thing that she is choosing to carry on living in subservience to others. just… talk about these issues, please!

(yes, yes, i know about the love hotel event. i do not like the love hotel event and i hate that it’s the closest thing we have to an actual exploration of kirumi’s deep-seated fears and desires.)

favorite line: “no matter the situation, no matter what happens, i am here to serve everyone.”

brotp: i love most platonic kirumi content, but i especially love seeing her as friends with kaede, ryoma, kokichi, miu, and korekiyo.

otp: do i even need to say it? i will anyway. it’s amatojo. they are absolutely everything to me. i have written essays on why they work so well together. i have an ask about rantaro waiting in the inbox, so i’ll link the Big amatojo explanation i wrote when i answer that.

notp: this is going to seem petty, but i dislike seeing her romantically with anyone that’s not rantaro. ^^;; i have no problem with most of these ships conceptually, but i’m happy in my amatojo room. i have… a lot of kirumi ship tags blacklisted.

a random headcanon: i’ve seen kirumi as autistic ever since i first played v3. repetitive tasks like cleaning and fast-paced, involved tasks like cooking are incredible stims. she hates being idle and her maid work really helps with that. she also tends to speak in a monotone and has a somewhat dry sense of humor (though she does still laugh at rantaro’s sillier jokes).

i also think she does embroidery as a hobby in the rare event that she has free time! she likes to add little details to clothes, pillowcases, tablecloths, and things like that. she’s very particular about her aesthetic.

unpopular opinion: holding kirumi haters by their shoulders. kirumi is not boring nor is she a bad character. okay? i agree that her motive was stupid. i agree that the game does not write her very well most of the time. that does not make her a bad character nor does it make her boring, and even if you dislike her, please don’t tell her fans to their faces that she’s the worst part of the game.

a song i associate with them: i have a lot… but i’ll go with “rabbit heart (raise it up)” by florence + the machine.

favorite picture: so… i am not allowed to google kirumi images. i do, however, have some sprites saved to my phone, so i will send my favorite kirumi sprite. she is very happy to have fulfilled your request.

******

kaito

favorite thing about them: he is so, so full of love for the world and the universe. even when he’s being headstrong and stubborn, his priority is always making sure the people around him are safe and that they’re not worrying about him. kaito consistently puts everybody else’s needs in front of his own in a way that’s both endearing and frustrating—please let yourself be cared about, boy!

least favorite thing about them: sigh. i do not like his free time events with shuichi very much. i absolutely adore kaito, but his free time events are… just listening to him talk and not really engaging much or getting much from it. i think that’s an issue with nearly all of shuichi’s free time events, though. i love shuichi a lot, but he does not take a very active role in his free time events the same way kaede and hajime do.

favorite line: the classic “the impossible is possible! all you’ve gotta do is make it so!”

brotp: i like platonic saimota and akamota a lot! kaito will see a protagonist, say “is anyone gonna make best friends with that”, and not wait for an answer. i’ve also seen platonic content of him with tenko that i actually really like! i think they could have a funny sibling dynamic.

otp: sighs deeply. momoharu, my loves. i think about him and maki all the time. they’re so sweet together and good for each other. she keeps his head on straight and reminds him that he doesn’t have to carry the world on his shoulders while he helps her open up and become more confident and learn to love herself… augh. ;-;

notp: …okay. i am going to be crucified for this opinion, but… i really, really don’t like oumota. i understand why people like it and i don’t begrudge them that, but it is not my cup of tea in the slightest.

a random headcanon: i think being fluent in three languages has given kaito VERY eclectic taste in music. he likes to listen to just about any genre, but he has a special fondness for 80s new wave.

unpopular opinion: i genuinely cannot think of any off the top of my head. i suppose that’s a good thing.

a song i associate with them: “if i ever leave this world alive”, flogging molly.

favorite picture: hmm, i have a real fondness for this cg. his expression here is so funny.

(…the cg appears to have not uploaded properly. it’s the chapter 3 one where he’s hugging maki and screaming.)

#asks #ask games #danganronpa #ndrv3 spoilers

[goofygooberton]

Oh I’m def doing this one ur a will wood enjoyer 👨🏻‍🎨📚 and 📣 if ur doin multiple

oooooh well boy oh boy there's alot of will wood to talk about with these ones

🧑‍🎨 A musical artist where you drop everything to hear their latest work

Well, pretty much anyone I listen to regularly, which of course includes Will Wood back before he went on his much deserved hiatus. The lead up to in case i make it was one of the most fun experiences with music I've had. It was nice to have something to look forward to, and go bonkers when each single got dropped. I even made it to the stream for Cicada Days, which ended up being one of my fav songs on the album.

I'd also drop everything for Marina, I think she's working on her 6th album right now so that's very exciting. And Hannah Grae, she;s super cool, does punk rock stuff. I'd recommend y'all check out Time of Your Life and her cover of What's Up if that interested you.

📚 A song or album you could write a term paper on

The Normal Album!!! The Normal Album does such a great job taking advantage of the album format, it's nice and cohesive, and all the songs add something that builds up to the main theme that was introduced in Suburbia Overture. I love the way that opening sequence has snippets of the musical/textual themes from later songs, it's a great way to set things up. And the whole thing builds and builds to Love, Me Normally and then ends with memento mori right after, which is a fitting song to be at the end of an album and has a really different tone than the rest of it but it works. A lil post show act.

Every single song on that album is a banger that could be analyzed for days.

📣 A lyric that feels like it is specifically calling you out

"See, I myself have been stepped on so many times It's started to feel like my place I've failed to fit in into those nests that scrape the sky Is there room for me in your cage?"

It was really hard for me to pick just one line from Willard! because that whole damn song is me. It's such a perfect description of my experiences growing up, particularly being autistic. Also rats <3

tysm for the ask!

#jenkins.txt #circusclownproductions

[wouldyoudoanythingforme]

An interesting but probably inaccurate reading of seven is that the "you" she is referring to is her past self because taylor has spoken many times about "not be able to recognize yourself" in many songs- esp break up songs where she is moving on and growing from the experience.

She started music lessons at age 8, so the last time she was truly free would be age 7 if we are talking about freedom from her desire to be famous-and all that entails. I think you can read the lyrics as this kind of mourning for the last time you felt you could truly be yourself and that's kind of really sad honestly.

At some point in time, taylor wanted to go back to when she was seven and just make a different choice maybe. One that would lead her down a different path where she could be "free" to not "hide in the closet." Probably 2016 after the canceling, and that's probably why she wrote this is my trying and that's why it comes after August.

It's her way of making sense of her fame related trauma and all that entails, I think. Like I've already talked about mirrorball into seven into August and how that is a sad run about her feelings on why she lost karlie but you can actually continuing piecing the narrative together since

This is me trying -> I think this song is about learning how to be okay with being queer, being famous, accepting what being famous actually is and learning to be okay with that

Illicit Affairs -> learning to be okay with your worst decisions and learning how to see a dead relationship for what it is, letting all of that go in order to move onto bigger and better things

Invisible String -> looking back at her journey into fame and realizing that the one good thing to come out of all of that was ending up at the met gala in 2016 to meet Joe, the love of her life for real this time.

Mad Woman -> this is about her anger at the masters situation. But also it can be specifically about how angry she is that her ex girlfriend betrayed her and sold her out to her worst enemy. This is lover era grief.

Epiphany -> this is about covid forcing her into lockdown and forcing her to not think about music or her career and just making music for the fun of it helped "get the poison out" of her. But I also think this is about her realizing how her actions during kissgate etc lead to the demise of their relationship. I think covid really helped taylor process trauma but also learn how to take accountability for her past mistakes without being afraid of being labeled as "bad" for it.

Betty -> the reason I say this is because Betty is about James (taylor James) apologizing to karlie "Betty" kloss for doing "the worst thing" she ever did to her. I think this is a reference to her forcing karlie in the closet and that is why karlie sold her out/told taylor not to mention her in her coming out promo (therefore forcing her in the closet so that she knows how it feels.... vindictive speculation on my end but ouch if it doesn't make for a good story). This is Taylor learning how to accept her own role to play in her closet in and learning how to shift the blame to the proper things (her label, her decisions, homophobia in the industry) instead of pointing the finger outward all the time.

Peace -> this feels like a declaration of acceptance of things she cannot change. She feels like her fame causes her relationships to die, but here is asking if it alright if you never have peace because of me? We know the answer is yes, so this is like a song I think she wrote to remind herself that her fears about fame getting in the way of her current relationship are in her head. They're not reality, and that internal turmoil is like the perfect representation of how mental illness can affect a relationship.

Hoax -> this is the hardest song for me to interpret because it is shrouded in metaphors and I am autistic 🤪 but I think this was given to us out of order on purpose as an easter egg for like "I have more to say about this actually." Because I think hoax into evermore is an interesting bridge piece. We know she is in a good place currently but hoax is about returning us back to turmoil and leaving us there for 5 months before giving us an even clearer look into the kaylor relationship.

The lakes -> I think that's why she talks about this being the real ending to folklore because this song is a really poetic representation of learning to leave things behind that don't matter. It gives me "the secret to holding on was all that letting go" vibes and I think it's on purpose. Like, she left us on hoax but that's not where she is mentally so she gave us the lakes to close out folklore fully.

#gaylor #taylor swift #swifties #song analysis #folklore #seven

[djnusagi]

11, 25, 29 for the music asks!

ok so I wound up having a LOT to say for these

11. a popular song you think is Good, Actually

this is hard cuz I actually do love pop music and admire pop songwriting as an art form. call me maybe is definitely a song I would consider to be great, like the whole thing is brilliantly written and arranged. I love Avril Lavigne’s early work. I also love all the big singles from the black eyed peas’ “electro era”, I gotta feeling, dirty bit, imma be etc. I also like most of katy perry’s early hits but her output hit a brick wall for me when she switched from dumb but well made party anthems like tgif and california gurls and started making faux inspirational empowerment anthems like roar and firework. thank u next by ariana grande was brilliantly produced even though the lyrics are oversimplistic in a way that hurts the vibe and the lyrical gimmick gets old imo.

25. a music artist you like(d) but don’t tell people you do

I was a huge deadmau5 fan for many years and even saw him live in 2017. I don’t really listen to him anymore mostly because his music doesn’t appeal to me as much anymore, his recent output is kind of trash, and I’ve also come to loathe him as a person. obviously there’s the transphobia but beyond that there’s two main things I kind of hate about deadmau5 as a person. the first is his approach to and perspective on music. he seems to view music production and the creation of electronic music generally in terms of a meticulous, rigid set of rules that you have to follow, and the closer you follow them the better your music is. this can manifest positively in his music. his track are incredibly detailed and precisely controlled and every SOUND in his tracks is gorgeously crafted. however, this (combined with his fetishistic obsession with analog purity and large, expensive hardware) also wound up leading to his creative stagnation and the increasing blandness of his music. it also plays a role in my second big issue with deadmau5, which is that he’s a juvenile egotistical jackass. aside from just generally being a noxious shitbag he holds every piece of music to his arbitrary standard of technical perfection, ignoring that a track may be using it’s mixing and mastering for creative aesthetic purposes or that it may be prioritizing sonic experimentation/songwriting/literally anything else over “being perfectly suited to a big club system or an expensive hi-fi”. his view of music and the world is fantastically narrow. I think Joel’s noxious personality is best exemplified in a livestream clip where he “reacts” to the song love u need u by slushii, and just keeps calling the song “aids” and “seriously autistic shit”.

29. what do you look for in a song or artist?

this is really hard to answer but I guess anything that really grabs me and stands out as unique and special. but I also have a lot of appreciation for songwriting, production, sound design and lyricism as “crafts” on their own. even if it’s not terribly unique I can still appreciate it if it’s “well made” if that makes sense.

[the-girl-with-the-glass-heart]

A luke warm review of the live action monster high movie

I pirated the monster high movie last night so i'm going to review it.

Allow me to start this review off with a few quick notes.

1. I am well aware of the controversies surrounding this movie, the racist director, the colorism, ect. with that being said, i wanna judge this movie based on how it actually is rather than the controversy surrounding it. This does not give anyone the excuse to ignore these issues, i just think these points have been said many many times by people who are much better at explaining this than somebody like me, who is so white i am practically marble.

2. I'm the kinda person who's incredibly forgiving to movies, i like liking things, i go into some of the most garbage movies with positive vibes. I also have garbage taste in everything. Try to take my review with an optimistic grain of salt. I'm also not a professional movie critic so alot of my critiques are shallow and not very detailed.

3. This is all just my opinion, you will most likely feel differently and that's okay, no pressure, i will not force you to like this movie be unique be urself be a monster or whatever. I will have some opinions in this post you are bound to disagree with and that's fine.

THE GOOD

-Something i think is really underrated about this movie that people never talk about is the set design, it actually looks like monster high, like the actual playset. They could of easily made it look like knock off hogwarts or just painted a normal school purple but they actually tried.

-I know everyone was dunking on the clothes and the wigs and the fact they don't look like monsters enough but i actually loved most of the outfits in this movie. Granted i'm not a huge fashionista and i was always in monster high for the stories than tje clothes but i think they did a good job. I mean they're on a tv budget and they had to make multiple outfits for multiple characters. This movie probably already costed alot with the make up, clothes, and VFX already. I specifically really like frankies clothes.

-The music is pretty nice! I mean it's no classic musical theatre or as iconic as steal the show or the fright song... buuut, i think the music is all pretty good. Coming out of the dark and its reprise is especially sweet, the only song i don't really like is the three of us, i just can't get the groove tbh. I also really like how in monster heart komos has christian youth pastor vibes and how in i can trust you they mixed in the snake sounds. Just be me also is very cute but i swear i've heard it that chorus before. I'm glad they got kids who can actually sing tbh.

-I thought the humor was all around very solid! Frankie was pretty funny at times, speaking of which...

-this version of frankie is very sweet and very very autistically coded, i think cici balgot is perfect for this version of frankie ngl, i'd love to he friends with this frankie irl.

-by herself and not compared to the og i think this version of clawdeen is also quite sweet. obviously she is nothing like her og cartoon counterpart but for what she is in this movie i think she's very cute. Also keep in mind i didn't care much for clawdeen in the og anyways, i found her voice really cringe and like i said, i was never a fashionista so i was always more into frankie or draculaura. If i actually loved clawdeen or wasn't basically a sentient sheet of paper i would probably be alot angrier.

-the acting is all around solid, that's all i have to say tbh.

-the opening scene is very cute.

-i also like the ending where they all float.

-i'm just happy the kids all had a fun time filming this, i know that doesn't actually affect the quality of the movie but child stars are hardly ever treated well and they all got alot of hate during the production of this movie.

-i do like the allegory of racial prejudice against biracial people, just judging it by itself it was a cool take on it that i think it was handled actually better than freaky fusion. Freaky fusion was a mess tbh tho so that isnt saying much.

THE BAD

-the climax lasted like 4 minutes, i get its a short movie but COME ON, AT LEAST BUILD UP A LITTLE MORE.

-I don't like deuce and clawdeen being a couple, i wish they were just good friends tbh and just vaugely hinted at it. I do like what they did with their relationship tho.

-Cleos development was weird, i feel like they made her such a weird character in this movie, although it is sweet that she learned to accept that clawdeen loved deuce.

-i don't like this new draculaura, i don't care that she's taiwanese now, she just doesn't seem all that interesting. She's by far the most forgettable ghoul in the trio.

-Lagoona, Ghoulia, abbey, and heath did NOTHING in this movie. I understand time restraints but seriously, why even have em in there if you already have a limited budget and you aren't going to do anything with them. People might be pissed but at least the plot wouldn't be all bloated.

-This is a problem in the og but i think its weird that frankie was presumabley made by humans and made out of humans but she doesn't seem to care about the human stigma. Cleo also doesn't give a shit yet she used to be human. It's weird that a narcissist like cleo wouldn't be at least a little offended.

-Deuce is so so bland in this movie, he's sweet at sometimes but fuuuuck, he is so bland.

-Clawdeens mom is dead, listen i love the dead mom trope and it kinda makes sense for the story but it feels weird. Idk how you would fix it but just... it's weird.

-The writing at times was a real mess and alot of things made no sense. Why would clawdeen lie about her dads name being pierre? That's a way more human name than fuckin apollo. Why did draculaura say she hates sun when she was wearing a hoodie? Just flip up the hood!

-as much as i like the humor in this movie, the PA announcer is annoying, they used her too much.

-the plot twist about the hand lock thing was so dumb, especially because frankie could of opened it from the beggining.

THE I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL

-ghoulia talks, on one hand i understand if you wanna give her lines because it would work better for the movie, on the other hand, she didn't do anything in the movie so why change it?

-SPOILER!........... Komos is revealed to be hydes son, cool i guess. I'll miss jackson/holt.

.... that's it.

Overall probably would pirate it again. 4.9/10. Wouldn't even mind if they made a sequel, as long as they change directors. I mean whatever you think about this movie i think we can all agree that no matter what, at least it's better than the bratz movie, the winx saga, power puff girls cw, and jem and the holograms.

#monster high live action #mh #monster high gen 3 #mh gen 3 #mh reboot #monster high reboot #mh live action

[zo1nkss]

Hi! What are your headcanons for Wilhelm from young Royals and Eleanor from the good place? Bye!

Sorry this took so long, I have this weird thing about answering asks "in order" but then it ends up taking me six years to answer them, anyway I'm trying to kick that weird personal rule so hopefully it sticks.

Wille HCs

Absolutely adores The Sound of Music

He doesn't have the same technical or curated talent as Simon, but he's a decent enough singer. However; he only ever sings to properly belt out the chorus to really emotional breakup songs and he doesn't know how to belt correctly so it just sounds really forced and throaty rather than powerful and guttural and Simon knows he's probably hurting his voice but he can't bring himself to tell him to stop because Fuck that's so cute???

Autistic Wille truthers, find me, love me, speak to me plz I know you're out there and I need more autistic Wille ppl in my life

I guarantee that if you handed Wille any puzzle that is solvable by hand, he could do it. He'd figure it out somehow. My man thinks, and he thinks Hard. And he thinks best when he's using his hands if you've noticed, so I think in another life he could be one of those champion Rubix cube or cup stacking competitors.

He had a cup song phase and he's very ashamed to admit it

He's secretly obsessed with the Pitch Perfect series, why do you think the first thing he did at Hillerska was fall for a coir boy?

As a fellow Repressed Queer I believe he has the potential to do a complete aesthetic make-over, but I also would really love to just....see him stay the way he is. I love little gay dramas where the main character is just Gay and they don't really do much about it. (I'm a loud gay but I feel media neglects the subtle gays far too much)

He also watches Stranger Things but is honestly a little scared of the fandom

(actually, he just doesn't really like fandoms, there are so many people with so many opinions and he just wants to watch his silly little shows)

Eleanor HCs

Pre Death, she liked the feeling of living like a bachelor so she lifted the toilet seat after she used it so it looked like a cis guy who didn't care about anyone else lived there

During at least one of Michael's Bad Place attempts, he had to have told her that her soul mate was a drag queen and she had to have accepted it so completely that it genuinely devastated her when she realized it was fake. My reasoning is it would be so easy to torture her simply by making her drag queen soul mate generally unavailable at all times. It would truly be hell, and THATS how she figures out it's the bad place in that attempt. I don't think she would even need Chidi if I'm being honest. She's just so gay, she would be so madly in love with the concept of dating a drag queen, and being robbed of that would be like an instant tell that she's not where they said she should be.

That was so many words for "Eleanor loves drag queens" wow.

Anyway she's an extremely competitive beer pong player and she's also extremely bad at it. But drunk Eleanor thinks she's good at literally everything, so it doesn't really stop her.

She doesn't actually like shrimp, she only stole all that from the cokctail bar because it she was drunk and sad.

#Void.answered #alyxgeeks #HCs #the good place #Eleanor Shellstrop #young royals #prince wilhelm

[thegreatgaygay]

Roxy's IRL Friends and Their Les Mis Experiences

right so the context is that i have been hyperfixated on les mis for two months and am insufferable and talk about it all the time with my friends, including my really specific in-jokes with myself (javert's 46 upsetting hats that he makes himself, javer'ts hat being huge/trying to eat him, a lot of hat related stuff actually, at this point it's just to make myself laugh), all the seperate canons i maintain (1-2rp canons, 3-5 fic canons, the one where javert personally knows and really hates shadow the hedgehog) and weird fandom bullshit (the one time i saw a piece of fan art that just absolutely snatched montparnasse's waist. good art btw. but just. he was so snatched and it stuck with me). and they just put up with it. so here's the post.

i have this one friend and she saw les mis on the west end in 2017 and remembers almost none of it but the things she DOES remember include: "two different blonde ladies" and at first i was like there are only three women in this show so it narrows it down but it took some prying to discover that these were, in fact, fantine and cosette.

master of the house is only song she recalls. the only song. out of all of the songs. (it objectively slaps but yall know how i feel about stars and she does too, she's read my stars essay). she said that "those guys [the thenardiers] got another song later on for no reason" which like is technically true i guess.

also, according her, "a guy died on a barricade". yes bestie many guys died on a barricade that's like half the fucking story

and she also got a nosebleed halfway through and spend half the show with her head tilted up so she wouldn't bleed everywhere so she didn't see anything. after she told me about this i explained the full plot of Les Miserables (1978) to her because i a, autistic.

but that's it that's all she remembers from the musical. she also insisted on pronouncing javert JAV-ERT for a month just to piss me off. including while i was dressed as him for halloween. i also have a running joke of people mis pronouncing his name but it used to specifically really get to me for some reason. but like i said my friends put up with so much bullshit from me and i get to hear about fallout 4 and sonic in return, neurodivergent people are so powerful.

my OTHER friend knows the plot of les mis and the songs well enough to torment me still further. he has invented a character named Maurice who does not exist at all ever and he brings Maurice up everytime I bring up les mis at the dinner table (which is often, some would say every single day with few excpetions). he says that his "favorite part of les mis is when maurice goes in the sewer and says 'it's mauricin' time' then her maurices all over the sewer" because we decided that's where maurice lives. i hate my friends so much. love those guys.

my OTHER OTHER friend who i know irl and talk to online said to me recently that they "forgot javert wasn't a real guy" which is hilarious and also reminds me that this person has never listened to les mis or consumed any les mis related media and must have such a fucked up idea of the plot at this point oh my god. they have seen all my memes and all my weird fic stuff but just...they do not know the plot. i wonder what they think happens in les mis???????????

and furthermore, some of my friends and i have discovered that like five of us all have special interests/hyperfixations set in France or that are France related in some way, so i have made a handy graph to hekp us keep track. it's not perfect but i love graphs so much. this is what i get for meeting every single one of my friends at the special move-in day for disability services or at special ed high school. only one of us is straight and only one of us is neurotypical, but it's the same guy and we like him anyways. here's the graph, with names removed but anyways the point is i love my friends but we're all terrible autism people. i'm The Crusades, FORMERLY Hamilton and Les Miserables, if you couldn't guess.

#roxy speaks #les mis #neurodivergent #neurodivergent friends #no clue what tags to gives this #awesome graph #autism

[0pin0n-custard]

Ok not to brag or anything but I have the best girlfriend.

She listens to my info-dump about random topics. But like actually listens. Like she takes the information in and engages with it. She could easily tune me out and smile and nod, and I would be none the wiser. But she cares enough to listen to my stupid ADHD/autism nerd rants.

She helps me take care of myself when I can’t. She doesn’t care that I’m disabled. She does her best to help me, and god I love her so fucking much. She not only accepts that I have DID, but encourages me to continue my treatment and work on improving communication. She takes me to hospitals and doctors appointments. She drives me to the pharmacy when I need to pick up my meds. She’s so kind and caring. She helps me through seizures, makes sure I don’t hit my head, and talks softly to me while I’m going through it. She constantly reminds me to stand up slowly, even when I forget. She even pushed me in my wheelchair when my arms got tired.

She’s so beautiful and talented. Her drawings are truly breathtaking. She loves to play really specific video games, and she gets so excited about them. She knows more about mythology than I could ever dream of. She’s fucking adorable. I love being in the car with her, cuz she’ll sing along to the music, and it’s amazing. Her voice is so unique; she has ridiculous range, and it’s melodic bordering on hypnotizing. She has the best fashion in the world, and wears the goddamn cutest outfits. She let me design a hair care routine for her, since she dyed her hair one too many times.

She’s so effortlessly beautiful, and her smile lights up a room. Her laugh is like a song that I want to listen to on repeat. Her eyes are so hypnotizing that even my autistic ass wants to gaze into them. Without going into too much private detail, her body is fucking stunning.

We have our own stupid love language, sending each other dumb memes. We keldabe kiss more than regular kiss. We play stupid card games and laugh our asses off while doing it. We sit on our phones and just enjoy being in each other’s presence.

We have our struggles, and everything isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Our relationship isn’t perfect, because no relationship truly is. But I like to think that we’re pretty damn close. Because I can say with absolute certainty that my girlfriend is perfect- flaws and all.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk

#lgbtq+ #lgbtqia+ #lgbt #lesbian #wlw pride #pride #girlfriend #look at me being stupid and in love #lesbian pride

[rainbowgod666]

The perfect DC/Marvel comic is like this

Its a batman book, the joker is killed off in the first panel and that has no meaning or repercussions over the timeline

The watchmen are a thing and Dr. Manhattan figured out a way to get rid of the whole "every moment is the present" thing. This makes it easier for the writer to write its dialogues. He is still earth-shatteringly autistic and everyone loves him for this

Also he and deadpool accidentally bond over "seeing the 4th wall". Deadpool is also buddies with moon knight. Guess what my favourite charachter is?

Good ol IRL me is there and its canon that the one time when i tried to help constantine every demon/spirit/whatever that has a stake on him was SCREAMING to him "get tf away from him not even death's gonna save you". Which i mean, rude

Welcome to the multiverse. Batman has small dick energy and superman is such a pacifist some people have trouble seeing him as anything other than "alien übermensch thats just a really nice guy and thats eat". He may be white bread but here in italy we say "buono come il pane" or "good as bread" so yeah hes a Certified Good Boy

I cannot stress enough how much unimportant is the death of the joker. He basically might as well have never existed.

Wonder Woman comes to the realization (after i confronted her about it because FFS WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE MULTIVERSE'S BABYSITTER) that MAYBE reducing her entire power assortment to "r/TwoXChromosomes" is a bad thing both for boys AND girls alike. I know the song goes "forget your balls and grow a pair of tits" but i would instead put programs so that boys feel safe about their masculinity and girls wont have to worry about Bad People In Dimly Lit Alleys.

SCP and MONUMENTMYTHOS are referenced really tangentially. Only the wikis (official or not) aknowlegde this fully

There are at least three scenes where tony stark reads about elongated muskrat on the news. In all of them hes disappointed

He also references him appearing on big bang theory, which in THIS universe is ran by the charachters of the series as a fun class B science program that has way more audience than it should have. Sheldon met Dr. Manhattan, who described our multi-knocking boy as just like him but "less knowledgeable and more arrogant" (no fr shelly is one /gamemode 1 from becoming dr. pasadiña or whatever)

Considering this is "DC and Marvel, but Alex did his bullshit", expect dumb shit

I am introduced with a MadCom reference that is also a Courage the cowardly dog reference. KeK

The Owlman is revealed to have had a massive brain tumor that straight up removed his ability to think rationally while making him speak like his cigars are made of dictionaries

So many events from so many storylines happen all at once lol

Spidey disapproves of O'Hara. Like everyone else.

Multiple references are everywhere

There is SERIOUS PROOF that thanos accidentally something important when he was testing the infinity gauntlet, whoops!

Gamora tries to kill me after i try to roast her for how she is. She is shocked to find out that me getting Kakyoin'd did nothing but "ow"

@moringmark is referenced in a 4 panel scene in the toh universe

A cover story reveals that, on the moon, a portal opens. The portal is traversed by a shiny deoxys and many little among us crewmates. The impostors are all black (literally) (if you see racism in this, fuck you not everyone is an american cop) (on that note, watch southland) and act as guards for the group. Deoxys is in its base form

The valve universe is a thing so welcome BLU, RED, aperture and black mesa!

#dc comics #marvel #welcome to the multiverse #Earth-ℵ₀

[buffporcupine]

hiiii!!!!

I just wanted to ask are there any songs in particular that remind you of your ocs?

Im always eager to hear new music

so I’ll probably give a listen to all of them

🎉

YAYAYA TYSM FOR THIS ASK!! i love it!!!! okay so why tf did i take 5 eternities to answer this

“O Sol e a Lua” by Pequeno Cidadão

This song reminds me of my OCs so hard!! Specifically the OCs I created from a universe of the same name, O Sol e a Lua. That translates to “The Sun and The Moon” in Portugese. The song is also in Portugese, and holy crap it slaps so much. Anyway. The OCs in question are this cute little pairing of a boy named Victor and a girl named 013. I created them as best friends who met as kids (when they were around 12-14) while living in an institution in England for intellectually gifted orphans.

They met around the beginning of October, long before present day (I’d say around 1910-1911). Victor was a talented inventor, and 013 knew everything there was to know about the night sky. They spent a good while as friends, formed crushes on each other that they never acted on, the works. The song is actually quite sad. The lyrics describe how the sun confessed his love for the moon, asking the moon to marry him, but the moon was too internally conflicted to make a decision and the sun gave up on love.

During the mid spring of the next year, Victor began to fall harder and harder in love with 013, then attempted to drop hints and the like. One particular day, he gets tired of 013 not realizing and frankly, her stupidity, and so he lashed out at her in anger and they have a long argument that eventually leads to them not speaking with each other for a few days. Little did Victor know, those were the days leading up to 013’s untimely death on April 6th. Anyway, the song actually ends on a more positive note (the sun is told that he will eventually find someone who loves him very much), but the story doesn’t. Victor isn’t able to cope with 013’s death and so he falls into a deep depression, blaming himself for the events. He ended up dying five years later while fighting in WW1.

I’m not sure about specific lyrics, but parts that remind me of them the most would probably be the first verse and the bridge, but like the whole song just gives me vibes of their story.

“Yellow” by Coldplay

Again, this is also a song that reminds me of Victor and 013. When Victor first met 013, he had many doubts as to why she would be in the institution. To him, she was not conventionally smart and he thought that she was “simple”, as they would call it, when they first met. 013 had so much going on in her head, just no way to express it. (Yes, 013 is hella autistic coded in case you couldn’t tell. In that way, I sort of project onto her.) I think “Yellow” is just a really sweet song and the lyrics show the devotion the speaker has for the subject. And the lyrics about the stars, I think it’s very fitting for 013 and her love of the stars. After 013’s death, Victor goes to one of the caretakers at the institution, Caroline, who tells him that 013 is watching him from above now. Victor goes stargazing and finds a newfound appreciation for it, it’s just… ag, I love them!! The lyrics are just perfect for them and it shows their devotion to each other yet their inability to be together and it’s so.. I love it.

Actually, songs that remind me of Victor and 013 is a pretty long list so here are some more: “Fairytale” by Alexander Rybak, “You Know What I Mean” by Cults, “Gilded Lily” by Cults, “Cupid” by Jack Stauber, and “I Hear a Symphony” by Cody Fry. I will probably think of more at another time lol.

“Midnight, the Stars, and You” performed by Al Bowlly and Ray Noble’s Mayfair Dance Orchestra

This song reminds me of some of my other OCs, Aurelia Scott and Akira Itō. Aurelia was an up-and-coming model, and Akira was a professional boxer. They met in high school while playing for the same band, fell in love, and dated for many years. When they were in their late twenties, Aurelia was diagnosed with a rare, degenerative neurological disease that would permanently impair her ability to carry out most tasks independently, and she would eventually die. One major symptom of the disease is memory loss, and due to this song both having the recurring lyric “I’ll be remembering you, whatever else I do,” and also being featured in Everywhere in the Beginning of Nowhere, it just made me think that this song really fit them.

“I Love You So” by The Walters

This song reminds me of my OC Kiyomi, who was created for a Stranger Things roleplay I did with my friend once. I shipped her with Mike and their rocky relationship fits the lyrics of the song, mostly. I have a full length post about Kiyomi a mile long, and she’s one of the OCs I’ve had for a super, super long time.

Literally Any Nickelback Song

Nickelback, whenever I hear it, just reminds me of my OC Avetis, who listens to an excessive, excessive amount of Nickelback literally all the time. The reason why is really wholesome though, being that his service dog, Rin, can only fall asleep to Nickelback.

#buffporcupine #buffporcupine’s ocs

[john-smiths-jawline]

All Along There Was Some Invisible String (Tying You To Me)

“A tear fell from oceanic steel eyes. No one was there to see it.

If everyone else could have a brother, why couldn’t he? He would make himself a brother, a baby boy that would play with him, love him, make him feel anything besides the loneliness that permeated his entire existence.”

Mycroft is alone. He decides to make himself a brother. Out of wood.

All Along There Was Some Invisible String (Tying You To Me)

Mycroft was alone. He had a big house, marble floors and even a few servants that attended to his needs. Even when his parents were gone, the house bustled with life. And there Mycroft sat, on his four-poster bed, Molly sweeping his room, utterly alone.

Mycroft was just seven years old. He had no friends.

There were multiple words for what he was.

Autistic, the doctors called it.

Freakish, everyone else called it.

He spent his days reading books of politics and government, books far too advanced for him. He drew pictures of pirates, knights, and baby brothers. He filled sketchbook after sketchbook. He played piano, composing lullabies for when he couldn’t sleep. He carved wood from his family’s trees.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t carve himself a wooden heart to fill the gaping hole in his chest.

He watched every other boy in London have a brother. He watched them play together. He watched them never be alone.

He asked the family driver, Charles, to take him to the store with his doll. He would talk to the doll, which he’d named Sherlock, and even drag him around in a depressing mockery of brotherhood.

A tear fell from oceanic steel eyes. No one was there to see it.

If everyone else could have a brother, why couldn’t he? He would make himself a brother, a baby boy that would play with him, love him, make him feel anything besides the loneliness that permeated his entire existence.

Mycroft made his way to the woodworking table. He let the radio fill his ears as he started to draw up his plans for his new baby brother.

Green was the color of the grass

Where I used to read at Centennial Park

I used to think I would meet somebody there

First, he penciled in blue-grey-green eyes. An ever-changing pool of ocean.

He told his parents what he was doing. They rolled their eyes at him.

Teal was the color of your shirt

When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop

You used to work at to make a little money

Inky Byronic curls, so different from his own auburn locks. Just a small shock of them. He was a baby, after all.

He told Molly what he was doing. She smiled at him patronizingly.

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?

Knife-point cheekbones, cupid’s bow lips. Mycroft was finished with the face. It looked rather strange, a little alien. After all, you could hardly expect a seven-year-old to create a perfect baby. His brother didn’t have to be perfect, after all.

He told Charles what he was doing. He frowned at him and told him not to get his hopes up.

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Next was the body. It took Mycroft many times, many trips to the city, sitting in a café in Times Square and watching babies around him, chipping away at his baby brother.

Charles always had pity in his eyes.

Bad was the blood of the song in the cab

On your first trip to L.A.

You ate at my favorite spot for dinner

Ten tiny fingers. Those took the longest. Who knew joints were next to impossible to get right?

He didn’t bother telling his classmates what he was doing. He didn’t need to give them any more reasons to call him a freak.

Bold was the waitress on our three year trip

Getting lunch down by the Lakes

She said I looked like an American singer

Mother and Father (That’s what he called them, they weren’t around nearly enough to be deserving of the titles Mom and Dad) told him that he was ridiculous. You can’t make a baby out of wood. If he was so lonely, he should just make some friends.

Oh, if only they knew.

Freakish, they whispered.

Mycroft’s parents took away his wood.

For his own good, they told him.

He snuck into their room immediately to get it back.

Time, mystical time

Cuttin' me open, then healin' me fine

Were there clues I didn't see?

Left a space open on the right side of the chest. That’s where he’ll add the heart.

Sentiment.

He heard Charles and Molly talking in the background about the poor lonely boy.

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Two tiny legs, ten tiny toes. Everything was complete. Except for the heart and the soul.

Now came the hardest part.

His teacher patiently sat him down and told him that he should stop this.

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold tied me to you

The heart. Painted red, filled with sawdust and a little bit of Mycroft himself. Tomorrow he would add the soul and breathe life into his brother.

He caught his parents seconds before they burned his brother in the fireplace.

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

That night, Mycroft dreamt of a boy with inky curls and blue-grey-green eyes.

Running around with Mycroft and a blond boy, playing pirates.

Coming home from school crying. The other kids called him freakish too.

Rebelling.

Laying limp as a ragdoll in a London alleyway, cocaine flowing through his wooden veins, watching the city roll by.

Finding someone who truly loves him.

Getting married, kissing his husband like they were the only people in the room.

Wooden heart full.

Not quite human, always a bit different, but, somehow, human, nonetheless.

It was the worst dream Mycroft ever had. It was the best dream Mycroft ever had.

He would do it in spite of them all.

Gold was the color of the leaves

When I showed you around Centennial Park

Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

The soul. At last, Mycroft held the wooden form of his baby brother in his arms, and slowly pressed a kiss to his forehead. He sent love, joy, and, most importantly, life, all throughout his body.

There was a cry.

Sherlock.

The skin, hair, eyes, filled in with color.

Beautiful. Brilliant. Alive.

Nobody thought he could do it.

Well, won’t they be so disappointed?

Time, wondrous time

Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies

And it's cool, baby, with me

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

#bees fanfic

[boldlyvoid]

New Romantics | Part Four

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings, oral sex (both), penetrative sex, Perv!Spencer low-key, public sex, quickies, multiple orgasms,

Word Count: 5k

a/n: what could possibly go wrong next?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | epilogue

She’s been asleep barely 2 hours when he shakes her awake, “Hey, when did you need to get ready today?”

“Uh?” She sits up and rubs her eyes, “we don’t have to leave until 1 so, like 11?”

“It’s 8:30, did you want to stay and sleep more?”

She looks at him and sighs, “are we okay?”

He nods, “can we just call it even?”

“Sure,” she agrees without knowing what she did wrong. It was more than just snapping on Tuesday, which is what she was still hurt over. “But I’m going to go, I need to change and stuff.”

“Yeah,” he nods but his smile is sad and she knows she’s fucking it up more.

She gets out of his bed, once it was the warmest bed she’s ever known. Any bed she shared with him was, but now it felt cold and uninviting and there was an unspoken knowingness that they were both genuinely upset.

“I’m still your fake girlfriend for the next 24 hours… can we make them count?” She asks, avoiding eye contact so he can't see her cry if he says no.

“Come here?”

She gets back into the bed and she cuddles into his chest. He holds her for a moment, “you’ve been the best girlfriend in the whole world. Do you really still want to be friends after this? Have I fucked up that bad?”

“Oh honey,” she places a hand on his cheek and looks at him softly, “I will be your neighbour, your best friend, your co-worker, carpool buddy, coffee friend, girlfriend, whatever you need as long as you’d like to have me around.”

He remembers the first time she said that and she knows because his smile is the same. “I love you.”

It hurts, “I love you, too.”

She kisses him quickly, attempting to pull back when his fingers grip her hair and his tongue is on her lips and she’s following his lead again.

“No,” she whispers, “I can’t.”

“Oh,” he stops and his hands drop to his sides so she can get back up.

“I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll come back when I’m done?”

“Yeah,” he nods again.

It breaks her heart to get up and go, she grabs her shoes and she sneaks out of his room, finding her keys in her pocket, she opens her own door and cries the second the door closes.

She cries in the shower, she cries while fixes her hair, she cries while she has lunch. Every song reminds her of the situation, every section of her apartment reminds her of him, the stupid door where they first kissed is closed and she wishes he was stable enough to bang on it and demand an answer.

Whatever was going on between them was reaching a bubbling over point, she can only store so much emotion before she explodes on him.

As soon as she is in her dress, makeup on and ready to go, she walks into his apartment to find him struggling with his bowtie, it makes her smile for the first time since she left his room this morning, “need help?”

“Yes, please.”

She walks over to him and repeats the same movements he attempted, making the bow look pretty before smoothing her hands over his dress shirt and looking up at him. “Handsome as ever.”

“You’re always beautiful,” he compliments her right back but his voice is still as sad as the night before.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on in there?” She pries, tapping his temple with her index finger, “you’re my best friend and I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I heard what you said yesterday,” he whispers, “about how if you were just using someone you would have picked Derek.”

“And?” She doesn’t get why it’s a big deal because it makes perfect sense to her in her mind.

“And it hurt me,” he snaps, “quite a lot!?”

And the dam breaks.

“Because I proved to them that I’m not using you? Spencer do you know what I meant by that?” She snaps right back.

“What else could it mean?! Clearly I’m not hot enough for you to just fuck and toss aside—”

“I meant that I love you and that’s why I’m with you! If I was just using someone for a job then I’d fuck Derek cause he’s a one and done, toss them to the side and never see them again, kind of guy!”

“And?” He repeats her word choice in a snippy tone that makes her furious but she knows he’s just trying his best to understand her.

She sighs loudly and obnoxiously, “and you’re a take him to meet your mom, marry and have his babies, love him for the rest of your life and one day scatter his ashes, kind of lover.” Crying by the end, she wipes her tears and tries to stay somewhat presentable-looking.

He’s silent, eyes wide as he takes in all her words, “I have always loved you,” she adds, “and no matter how fucking angry I am or how stressed or upset, I am never going to stop loving you, Spencer.”

“Me either,” his tone is still just as upset, “and that's the part that sucks.”

“What do you mean?” She just poured her heart out to him and he still doesn’t get it.

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams it at her with his hands thrown in the air, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire fucking life and it’s driving me crazy!”

“It’s driving you crazy?” She can’t help but laugh like she’s losing her mind, “I have been doing everything in my power to make you understand that I love you and you keep thinking I just want to be friends!”

“Because you said you loved me like a friend the first time?!”

“No, I fucking didn’t!” She is so frustrated she’s turning the same colour as her dress, steaming from her ears like a cartoon character.

“I asked if best friends can be in love because I wanted to see if you would say you loved me more than that, and then you fucking said “yeah cause that’s how I love you” which means you love me as a friend?!”

“Because I thought that’s what you wanted?!”

She can’t rub her eyes cause she’ll ruin her makeup but she is so mad she just wants to scream. Pressing her fingers to her own temples, she turns away from him and sighs, she loves him so much and yet this is the most frustrating thing that’s ever happened.

“You are so lucky,” she just laughs, shaking her head back and forth as she turns back to him, “you are so fuckin’ lucky.”

“Why?”

She wraps her arms around his middle and looks up into his eyes with one last sigh, “we have to go or we’ll be late, so I can’t explain all of my feelings right now, so let’s bench this conversation and I can show you just how much I love you when we get back?”

“Okay,” he nods. He rests his hands on her arms and he looks down with the softest glance, he’s still trying so hard to not cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“So am I, I should have listened to you better and explained myself more,” she whispers, “do you believe me now?”

He nods, “I told you, it’s hard for me.”

“I tried my best to be subtle so I didn’t scare you off, but I guess you really don’t do subtle?” She can’t help but laugh, “but I really do love you.”

His hands are on her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss, she melts against him. He breathes her in, it’s the longest and deepest kiss she’s ever had and she honestly feels like he’s taking her soul and making her his. She belongs to him and she knows it, now he does too.

“I love you, too.”

—

All eyes are on her and it makes him smile, she’s the only one in a red dress in a room full of black and white, she stands out like a sore thumb. She looks the most beautiful, she stands beside Spencer with her arm wrapped around his and a huge smile on her face, it makes him even happier to see her smile again.

The hardest part of fighting with her was knowing she was upset and that he was only making it worse. Seeing her smile return is everything to him, he loves her more than words can express and she loves him right back, he can tell by the way she smiles at him; because it’s exactly the same way he’s smiling at her.

“I see that you’ve made up,” Derek interrupts their current dance to say hello.

The BAU team was always so busy on nights like this, they had all the best stories and everyone wanted to hear them, which meant they typically didn’t see each other a lot for the whole night.

“We did,” Spencer smiles. “Thank’s Derek.”

She looks up at them both, confused, “how many of them know?”

“Huh?” He plays dumb but she can see right through him.

“Do they all know I’m not really your girlfriend or is it just Aaron, Derek and whoever else you told?”

“Elle,” he says her name. “I told the first girl I slept with that I was falling in love with you because I needed advice from someone who has already been with me and knows how I get.”

“Sick, cool, love that for you,” she smiles and walks away.

He grabs her and she stops, “I told you how much it hurt that I had no one to talk to and you told all of them? And you couldn’t even tell me you really loved me this whole time? I thought we were best friends Spencer?” She shakes her head, disappointed more than anything, swatting his hand off her as he reaches to stop her.

“Let her go, she’s right to be a little mad,” Derek holds him back. “let her be mad.”

“Why?” Spencer is so new to relationships he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“She wants to be your girlfriend for real, let her calm down and then go apologize and ask her,” Derek's smile is sweet as he pulls Spencer into a hug.

It slowly becomes a dance, everyone is used to Derek being touchy with his friends, he has danced with everyone so far tonight so it’s only fair Spencer has a turn. Spencer holds him tight, eyes closed so he doesn’t have to think about all the attention he’s been getting since they arrived.

“Thank you for always being here for me,” he whispers, “but I have to go see her.”

“Fights like this just make your relationship stronger, it teaches you how she wants you to communicate, she just wants you to be honest with her, always,” he whispers with his cheek pressed to Spencer's, “and angry make-up sex is really fun.”

It makes him laugh, “thanks, but she won’t be sleeping with me for a few days, if my memory is correct then she’s mad for more than one reason.”

“Ah,” Derek gets it, “good luck my friend. Good luck.”

When Spencer pulls away, he heads in the direction Y/N left and follows the hallway as far as it goes. She’s sitting on a bench by a window, staring off at the night sky as she takes some deep breaths. She looks a little more peaceful, she’s had a really rough few weeks and he’s not making it any easier on her.

“I know two things for sure,” he speaks softly but she still jumps a little as she turns to him.

“What would they be?”

“That you’re the love of my life,” he’s confident as he sits on the bench beside her and takes her hand in his. “And I’m an idiot when it comes to love.”

“That is quite the dilemma,” she smirks, her eyes gleam as she looks at him and he knows she was trying not to cry by how glossy they are, but it makes her more beautiful, somehow.

“I’m really sorry.”

“All you have to do is tell me the truth, Spencer,” she places her hand on his leg and leans in with a whisper, “it’s really simple.”

“Truth is,” he whispers right back, lips close enough to kiss, “I’m never going to stop loving you, which means more stupid moments are in my future. Just so you know.”

She giggles and kisses him quickly, “I don’t mind being the smart one in the relationship, but you still have to ask.”

“Will you be my girlfriend and let me love you for the rest of my life, no matter how much I fuck up and drive you crazy?” He teases her, knowing she’ll say yes regardless.

“On one condition,” she can’t hide the smirk on her face and he’s nervous at what she’s thinking.

“Anything?”

“You let me love you for just as long? If not longer.”

He nods, “forever?”

She nods back before kissing him just as deeply as they did that morning, her hands in his hair as she presses his face into her’s with force. She holds him there and breathes him in, pulling back with a classic smooch sound, she smiles again, “you’re my boyfriend now.”

He nods with a small smile, “what should we do first as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

She bites her lip and pretends to think about it for a moment, “fuck in the linen closet down the hall?”

“I don’t have any condoms on me?” Is his only worry, not getting caught, not that all their bosses and superiors were there, just that he didn’t have a condom.

She pulls one out of her bra with a smile, “Savannah gave this to me about 3 minutes before you came over here.”

“How much make-up sex do they have?” He asks as he takes her hand and leads her down the hallway.

She’s giddy and smiling, her heels click on the floor as they rush to the other end of the hall and open the little door. There are shelves with towels and rolls upon rolls of silverware in cloth napkins. A vacuum in the corner, some brooms and just enough room for them.

She pulls him in closer and shuts the door, reconnecting their lips as she pushes him up against it. Hands reaching for his belt she kisses down his neck and he’s like putty in her hands as soon as she strokes him, he moans by accident and she covers his mouth with her free hand.

“Do you have any idea how turned on you make me? I have wanted to fuck you since I first saw you, 6 years ago…”

“Really?” His muffled voice behind her hand makes her laugh. She removes her hand and instead runs her fingers through his hair while taking a moment to look at him and really take it all in.

“Yeah,” she nods, “which is why I asked to sleep with you on the way home from the bar, I didn’t know if I could handle it either it, but I’ve always wanted Doctor Reid from the BAU to rail me. I just didn’t think we’d end up falling in love?”

“No one has ever admitted to having a crush on me and meant it,” he whispers.

“I’m glad I get to be one of your firsts,” she smiles again before he pulls her into another kiss.

She kisses the side of his mouth and then his jaw, down his neck and then she’s dropping to her knees in front of him. He’s hard in her hands but he twitches as he sees her like this, looking up at him with lust-blown eyes as she strokes him, she flattens her tongue and taps the tip of his cock to it.

He has to cover his own mouth or else he’s going to get them caught, he moans at the feeling, closing his eyes and that's when she takes him in her mouth. His free hand is in her hair, careful not to mess it up but enough grip to steady himself.

He tilts his head back against the door with a knock and a sign, “fuck,” he can’t help but talk into his hand which only makes it sound louder in the tight space.

She feels so good every single time and yet this one feels different, he looks down at her and she pulls off, “what’s wrong?”

“I love you,” he shrugs.

He helps her back up to her feet and she backs up against the shelves, “come here?”

He helps her hike her dress up, holding all the material up as he slips her underwear off and takes that condom back out of her bra with a single kiss to her chest. He rolls it over himself and lines up with her, her arms wrap around his shoulders as she looks at him, “show me how much you love me?”

He slides in and they don’t break eye contact as she takes him, her mouth opens in a silent gasp at the feeling, her hands grip his shoulders tighter as she steadies her ass on a shelf and wraps her legs around him while he bottoms out.

With a hand on her cheek and one on her lower back, he pulls out and thrusts back in with a smile as she bites back a moan, she pulls his face in close to hers to kiss him while he fucks her. The hand on his cheek slides down her neck, applying a small amount of pressure that makes her breathing hitch. She swallows sharply before his hand starts to trail over her breasts and then between them.

With a thumb on her clit, he fucks her a little harder while rubbing his thumb in a circle. She’s breathing heavily into his mouth, placing sloppy kisses against each other as they enjoyed each other.

She’s so close and he knows it, and then there is a knock on the door.

“Spence, we have a case when you’re done?” He hears Derek's voice behind the door and he can’t believe it.

“Okay!” He calls back without stopping, instead, he fucks into her a little faster.

“Oh!” She moans by accident before covering her mouth with a slap and wide eyes, moaning behind her hand as she bounces on his cock.

He kisses her hand, making her move it so he can press his lips back to hers and absorb all the noises she was going to make, her hands both reach for his back, gripping his suit jacket so tight he’s afraid she might rip it.

She cums with a shocked gasp, it’s as quiet as possible but it still echos around them as he gets closer and closer. He buries his face in her neck and accidentally moans as well as he cums, stilling his hips as he holds her there, sputtering his hips against hers as they catch their breath.

“I love you,” he manages to say between breaths, “that much.”

“You need to go,” she smiles.

He kisses her one last time before he pulls out, he loves the way she gasps every time he does so. She smiles after, their teeth clashing as they laugh, “I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

“I’m never going to get a job,” she shakes her head as she gets off the shelf and fixes her dress.

He takes off the condom and wraps it in some paper towel on the shelf, he’ll get rid of it later. She picks up her underwear, he thinks she puts them back on, but she really slides them into his pocket for him to find in the middle of the case when he reaches for something important...

—

She rides back to headquarters with Penelope and JJ, both of them want to ask and she knows it. Mainly because she looks like she’s had sex, and also because she asks to stop at the academy so she can get another pair of underwear from her locker.

It’s not until they’re in Penelope’s office that they ask, “what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” She plays dumb.

“Dating Spencer?” Penelope says, “more specifically, having sex with him?” She mumbles and it makes Y/N laugh.

“In total, we’ve been having sex for 3 weeks now and I’ve had 21 orgasms, and we only really fuck on the weekends cause that’s when we’re not busy…” she grinds her teeth slightly with a raised brow, taking a deep breath, “yeah. It’s really great.”

“Holy shit?” They both look more shocked than she’s ever seen them. “How many has he had?” Penelope asks with a quiet voice, pretending she didn’t.

She laughs slightly, “like maybe 14? He’s really generous.”

“What the fuck?” JJ turns to Penelope and shakes her head and there’s something more there that Y/N can sense.

“Who’s Elle?” She asks and they both turn to her with the biggest eyes.

“How do you know about Elle?”

“She’s the first person he slept with?”

“When?” They both shout.

“So he wasn’t kidding. You guys really thought he was a virgin this whole time?” She looks at them like they’re crazy. “How?”

They both just shake their heads and sigh, stuttering and looking for words they don’t have. “We just never thought he could?”

“Snooze ya loose, I guess?” She shrugs, “so what is the case and how can I help?”

“Right! We have a case,” Penelope snaps back into it, “but seriously Elle? Are you sure you have your names right?”

“Penelope,” she looks at her seriously.

“Right, they’re headed to Roanoke.”

There was a child abduction of a 6-year-old girl, CARD and the BAU were both called out and that meant everyone was mingling on the two floors and they would use as much help as possible.

It also turns out that Anderson’s surrogate went into labour a little earlier than anyone expected; so he and his husband have left for paternity leave early. Leaving JJ without an assistant and she really needs help in the office for this one.

She catches on rather quickly, knowing the protocols from her training and she’s not afraid to ask questions. She’s still in her dress, her heels click on the tiles as she rushes around with files, making phone calls and running from the briefing room to Penelope’s office.

When they finally crack the case and apprehend the suspect, she sits down finally. It’s been 11 hours since the banquet, and she was exhausted beyond belief. She never slept the night before, Spencer was uncomfortable and she was in her jeans and when she did fall asleep, he was waking her up moments later to get ready.

It's Sunday morning at 9 am when Spencer finally returns back at headquarters. She’s sitting at his desk when he comes up and wraps his arms around her, “we’re going home, come on.”

“Don’t you have to debrief?”

“Did that on the way back,” he turns her around in the role chair and tilts her head up to look at him, she’s so tired and he can tell. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” she stands up with his help, “I did enough profiling today and now I have a whole week to get through.”

“Just to come back and work here,” he smiles, “if you still want to?”

She wraps him up in a real hug and nods against him, “it’s so fun, even with all the murder.”

“Coming home to this is really nice,” he whispers before kissing her cheek quickly, “I’m glad you like it here.”

“Well, well, well,” Derek's voice is behind them. They pull away to see him smiling, arms wide as he saunters over, “if it isn’t the new romantics.”

“Did you have any suspicions?” Y/N asks, he was a profiler after all.

“I knew something was up,” he’s honest. “I knew you guys were actually doing stuff together, I just didn’t think there was so much angst behind closed doors?”

“You have no idea,” Y/N laughs, holding Spencer closer, “it took too long.”

“I thought you were fighting about the job, cause he wasn’t really upset until you were in Penelope’s office, and I heard the rumours even before he heard what you said,” Derek smiles again, “but I also knew you loved him and he loves you.”

“Correct,” she can’t help but smile. “But we really should head home.”

“Home we go,” Spencer agrees.

—

She asks him to unzip her dress the second they’re back in her apartment. She drops the dress to the floor and heads to the bathroom and he’s left alone in her room. It feels different now. He remembers kissing her in the living room for the first time like it was yesterday, he remembers the first time they had sex, the first time he said I love you, and now he’s here and she’s his girlfriend and he’s going to get to make more memories with her.

He’s so embarrassed by how much he’s been crying lately, something about being in his mid-30s was making him feel like he was about to go through menopause— he has never been very openly emotional, but it’s about time he lets himself feel. He wipes the tears and turns to face the wall while he takes his suit off.

He’s been through too much, a lot of which she doesn’t know of. She has promised him forever, whether she means it or not, and he’s worried he’s going to fuck it up before he gets there.

When she comes back, she lays a towel down on her side of the bed and gets in, “guess who got her period on her first day of work?”

“No?” He gasps, playing along with her playful mood. “At least you’re not pregnant.”

“Thank god,” she sighs, “please for the love of God, don’t get me pregnant for at least 5 years? I want a decent career first so that I don't miss much on maternity leave. I really don't want to be benched for having kids.”

He cries again and she looks so concerned as she gets out of bed and wraps her arms around him, “what did I say wrong, Spencer?”

Still facing the wall, he just lets it all out, “I’m sorry.”

“For what, sweetheart?” She attempts to soothe him by running her hands down his arms, “for crying or something else?”

“Crying,” he whispers and she turns him around then.

“Hey,” she looks up at him with the softest expression he’s ever seen, “you are allowed to have emotions, you are allowed to show them and ask for help and tell me when you need something. I’m not going to think you’re too much, or I can’t handle you or think of you as a burden. I know that’s how you feel because it’s how I fell, and we don’t need to go through that together.”

“I love you,” it’s the only thing that feels right to say.

“I love you,” she repeats it, “what made you cry?”

“Can we get in bed first?”

“Yeah, finish getting ready and then come tell me,” she whispers before reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He slips away to go to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He’s exhausted but he doesn’t want to miss any time with her. He hurries back to her side, getting into bed in his underwear and making sure both his phones are on the night table, charged and ready if they need him.

But until then, he belonged to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?” It’s the first thing he asks because he knows she has a big day tomorrow. “It can wait.”

“What’s that thing you say about intermittent sleep is actually better?”

“Don’t use my words against me, I do that so people don’t stop me from doing what I think I deserve,” he’s truthful. “I’m not going to ever lie or fib to you again. I hate myself, and if I don’t feel like I’ve done enough I won't sleep or eat sometimes.”

“I do that too,” she’s not proud, “are you trying to tell me you cried cause you’re hungry or tired?”

“No,” he smiles, “but thank you for asking for clarification, I like this new system.”

“Me too.”

“I cried because I really love you and I’m realizing this is all real and I’m going to get to make good memories with you, and when you said kids, even in a hypothetical sense, it made it feel real for me,” he whispers the words before pressing his lips together awkwardly.

She glows in the lap light like she did that first night, “it’s a weird concept, isn’t it? The future. At some point I’m going to have known you longer than anyone, one day we’ll have lived with each other longer than we’ve lived apart. We might be grandparents together one day? It’s all weird to think about.”

“Do you seriously want all that with me?” He’s asking because he has another question to ask right after.

“Yes, Spencer,” she laughs. “I really do.”

“Would you like to Marry me?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widen and her jaw drops and he’s never seen her look this stunned before.

He nods, “my mom isn’t going to able to appreciate my wedding the longer I wait, and if you really mean it; I’d like to have a wedding with my mom there while she remembers me.”

“I know her birthday is coming up, but can we bring her here instead?”

“Why?”

“My parents decided to drive from Salam to here for my graduation and use the flight money on a nice Airbnb for the week. We should do it while they’re all here because I don’t know when they’d be able to come back,” she has had the same worries about her parents missing her life.

“I’ll ask my mom,” he smiles. “So we’re getting married?”

“in like a week,” she laughs, “oh fuck, how are we going to do that in a week?”

He rolls over and grabs his personal phone, he dials a number and she looks even more confused now.

“Hey Penelope, how fast can you plan a wedding?”

~

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