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mrsnancywheeler · 4 months

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the lakes (4) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

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midnight rain

2.6k words

warnings: angst, fluff, mentions and allusions of trafficking and sexualization of reader/finnick by capitol, manipulation of someone's feelings, allusions of past break up, allusions to death/violence, playful banter, no use of y/n, UNEDITED, me trying to write peeta, trauma, allusions to mental illness, survivors guilt

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

The couch in all its neon greeness had been the same over the last 6 years. With the same garishly neon blue pillows in obnoxious shapes and as you stared at it it brought back when you and Conway had anxiously sat on it. When you began nervously sucking up to him, playing his sensitive side.

“I'm worried about you." Finnick popped a grape into his mouth as he sat on one of the velvety seats at the table. Honesty was his new approach, to tell you exactly what he was thinking especially if it was about you to force you to do the same. You were only a couple hours into the morning and this was evident.

“Why, Finnick?" You sighed, not in annoyance, well maybe a little bit in annoyance, but mostly the sigh had been one of love.

“I know we've both been back before, but not as tributes. You're going to start thinking about your games again as we go through the same steps. I'm worried you won't stay grounded."

“Yeah, well, I have you and as long as I can be in your arms I'll be okay."

He nodded observing you carefully, to make sure you weren't repressing anything deep within you, but he seemed satisfied for now. “It's not just you, I'm sure we're all going to be thinking a lot about the first time we were in this position." Finnick shrugged, grabbing another handful of grapes.

“Are you gonna be able to stay grounded?" You asked, putting down the knife you were using to butter your toast.

"I've managed this long.” He smirked, leaning forward, "Plus I've got you, angel.”

You rolled your eyes,"You're so cheesy.”

"What? So it's cheesy when I do it, but not when you do it?”

"Exactly.” You laughed. "Second day of married life and you're already catching on!”

"I'm a fast learner.” He raised his eyebrows, grinning.

The door opened and in came your escort. “Good morning, you two! Glad to see you've broken no more glasses, Finnick." She tutted, her dress was an eyesore to look at. You loved color, but her clashing bright ones made your head hurt.

“Nope, I've remembered my manners, Koalema.”

"Well that's good! Oh look, we're so close to arrival.” She kept babbling about something probably nonsensical. Koalema, why had you never been able to recall that name? You felt bad for not remembering, but it was so hard when she was flurry of chaos and overstimulation.

Finnick stood up and held his hand out for you, “Well here we go, angel. Be ready to put on that beloved smile and have those tears ready to spill. They love that about you." You took his hand and pulled yourself out of your seat.

“You don't need any instruction from me, always the charmer."

“Yeah, well I've had longer." The two of you prepared to greet the vultures waiting to eat up upon arrival. Standing in front of the window, hands tightly clasped together ready to gracefully swoop up your audience in their desired fantasy for the final time.

To smile at the people who had taken everything from you and completely controlled every aspect in your life. How people saw you, your relationship with Finnick, your relationship with yourself and your body, anything that you could think of they had somehow pulled strings in it. All of your life was under their thumb and you realized the lengths you would go to stop that, what would life be like when all you had left was memories that never needed to be reopened?

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

It was beautiful. There was more food than you'd ever be able to eat and not a single scent of the salty seafood you were used to. Bright colors etched into your brain and everything was so modern, so clean. You had no idea what you'd expected, but it blew you away.

“This is where you two will be staying on our way to the Capitol! Isn't it beautiful? No expense has been spared, District 4 has a pretty good reputation of course and we'd like to keep that! So be in awe, but not so much that you forget about that." The garish woman said so cheerfully you were convinced you misheard her.

“No we wouldn't want that." Conway muttered and the woman gave him a sharp smile.

“Make yourselves at home, I do believe the two of you are very lucky and get the one, the only Finnick Odair as one of your mentors this year. Let me check on that and possibly, Odine." Her heels clicked out the room which inexplicably opened just as she stood in front of it.

Home. You'd never see home again, never swim in the comfort of its waters, see your family, lay in the warm sand. Yes, you would if you could win this, but you couldn't. And Finnick, how were you supposed to think about strategy when he would be right there?

“Are you okay?" A soft hand landed on your shoulder and Conway's deep, brown eyes spoke as much comfort as they could for you. Of course you weren't okay, how could you be? But saying that wouldn't endear him into you, so you melted into his touch.

You shook your head, closing your eyes, and sniffling. “What about you? How was your family?"

“Well at least I'm here with you and they'll be okay, at least they have each other too." Yes, at least you had someone you knew, yet also didn't that make it more difficult? He didn't ask about your family though, maybe if you kept a tally you'd feel less guilty by the end.

“Yeah, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have someone I trusted. I'm just so scared, Conway.” With that you'd erupted into tears and he pulled his arms around you. They weren't stiff, but weren't comforting, not that you really needed his comfort.

“It's okay, we've got each other."

You already hated yourself.

With that the automatic door slid open, but you didn't tear yourself away. You knew who it would be, but he wouldn't believe you if you jumped from him. So you slowly moved your hands to wipe your face and made your voice shake as you let out your sweetest, “Thank you."

He nodded eagerly, he didn't say of course but you could see it in his eyes. A warm, but brisk voice interrupted the moment. “Glad you've already decided to ally with each other, makes it much more difficult when the tributes won't talk to one another." Finnick’s honeycomb sweet voice finally drew your eyes to his.

“Yes, it's an easier angle to work with." A tall woman beside him agreed, you recognized her from the screens, Ondine Afron, she sounded more tired then you'd remembered.

“We’ll be your mentors, teaching you with our experience the best ways to survive, how to get sponsors, and whatever else could help." Finnick grabbed a sugar cube from the bowl by the teapot, examining it before tossing it into his mouth.

Yes and him being a mentor could throw a wrench in your plans. Conway had heard every bit of the emotional rollercoaster that had been Finnick Odair, how could you convince him you loved him instead when the man of all your affections was right there.

“Nice to meet you both." Conway said curtly, he let himself glare slightly at the other man. Usually you'd scold him for this, you weren't the type to want tension, but you needed him to trust you. So you leaned into his side, looking up at him as innocently as you could. Willingly him with every molecule to believe you and for Finnick to leave you alone enough to make your performance more outstanding.

Later that night when you'd wandered the train's halls in a nightgown with a softness like you'd never experienced before, you'd passed by Finnick who had nothing but praise for the plan we could tell you were hatching. Of course he could tell, he knew every morsel of your being.

“You're so smart, angel, the way you came up with that in a matter of seconds. Being good on your feet like that could save you in the arena." He'd whispered, softly above the mechanical noises your brain had hyper fixated on since your arrival.

“Don't call me that." You muttered.

He sighed, looking down, “I'm sorry. I'm just-"

“Yeah, I know."

“You know I'd do anything to keep you safe, even if I haven't always been able to tell you what and now I've failed, but here you are, I mean the way you manipulated your eyes like that was brilliant. The audience is going to be under your finger just keep doing what you're doing." Suddenly his hands were around yours, a movement so familiar it made you shudder.

“Finnick, please don't." You tugged your hands, half-heartedly, not really letting them escape his loose grip.

“I'm sorry, I know you don't understand why I hurt you, but it'll all make sense once you win this thing."

“Yeah, sure." You rolled your eyes, this was a tiring waltz between the two of you. Him claiming it was to protect you while you couldn't know from what, even now when you were on the brink of inevitable death.

“I promise." He stilled all his shifting and movements, sea green eyes boring so deeply into the depths of your heart there was no choice but to trust him. You couldn't help yourself and leaned in, delicately letting your lips graze his cheek.

“I have to go find his room. You know, do what I can." There was slight laughter behind your tone and Finnick nodded, softly smiling.

"My smart girl.” He muttered, glowing in the lamp light. I miss you, your brain screamed as you gazed at him, suddenly the tears you were trying to force up to sell your act were easier to conjure up. So you left him in the dim lights of the train car to convince Conway of how badly you needed his comfort now that you were away from home.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“Secret wedding is all anyone can talk about." Your designer, Cambrie, sounded like bright citrus, drinking orange juice for breakfast. “Especially those seaweed rings, so bolstering for my ideas to run their course!" She smiled, clearly full of anticipation for her idea to be revealed to you.

Truthfully you couldn't care less about it, you wanted to be back at Finnick's side. As the years passed being alone with people from the Capitol no matter who they were or what they intended nauseated you. “Oh come on, Cambrie, I'm going to die of anticipation!" You proclaimed with as much drama as you could, pouting.

"Oh you're adorable.” She clapped like you were some sort of performing dog and pinched your cheeks, actually pinched your cheeks. The infantilization made you want to retreat but that would never be an option. “Reignbaugh was going to go with a fishing net to look for Finnick to pay homage to the District of course, and similarly with you I was thinking to draw it together, but the seaweed combined to call back to the rings. Everyone will eat it up, and oh I have a lovely pearl headdress you are going to be stunning!”

You gushed to her, but internally felt your stomach turn. This really meant she was going to try and show as much as you off as she could. Of course this turned out to be true. The outfit could have been beautiful if in reality it wasn't so dehumanizing. The seaweed running through the fishing net dress that adorned you barely covered your nipples and much of your body was clearly visible to those who stood close enough.

"And of course for the Capitol Princess.” Cambrie announced, placing her elegantly made crown, you had to admit it was beautiful. The way each pearl shined between the seaweed. Although you did think the seaweed usage was over the top, the choice of it for the rings hadn't really been significant, it was just there in a place you both loved. It was marketable though. Her and your other stylists had also gone to great effort to make your eyes look as watery as possible, even adding pearly effects to make it look like you were crying them. It was too all too much, but you oohh’d and awed which they adored you even more for.

“Don't you look handsome." You remarked all too sarcastically as you approached Finnick and his bare chest.

“Oh just smile and wave, angel, they're savoring the last time they'll see either of us like this.” It was lighthearted and he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, but it did comfort you. Eventually your body would simply be yours again." There she is.” He whispered, your eyes followed him to her, Katniss Everdeen.

“Well you better go make your introduction then."

“Well ladies first." He gestured, expectantly.

“No, I don't think my first introduction should be like this." You pointed up and down the outfit. "You go, it'll seem perfectly on brand for you.”

Finnick nodded, you could tell he had more he wanted to say, to lecture on but there wasn't much time. You looked around the room, toying with the fishnet nervously before you heard someone call your name and looked in the direction.

"Didn't expect you to be the type with nerves.” A voice quickly caught your attention. Peeta Mellark.

"Only at the worst times.” You grimaced, shaking your head.

Peeta smiled, "Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who gets them.”

"Oh far from it, I bet you 75% of the people in here are trying not to throw up right now.”

“Which one's are fine then?" He stood by you observing the occupants.

“While obviously it's neither of us, I'm thinking District 11 too many years in for either of them to be worrying."

“1 & 2?"

“Bingo!" You announced, tilting your head.

“Surprised you didn't say Katniss." He remarked.

"Surprised you didn't say Finnick.” You countered.

"The thrills of pretending to not be shaking.” He shook his head with a smirk.

"Masters of that game. In fact she looks like she might just kill him now.” You tried not to laugh at how Katniss looked at Finnick who you knew was trying desperately to work his charms.

"Well, I'd best go save him then.”

"Oh, yes it would only be mildly entertaining.”

"It was nice meeting you, considering the circumstances.” Peeta exuded kindness in a way you could only aspire too, it genuinely hurt your soul.

“Yes, a mind numbing extravaganza thrown here would have been much more enjoyable, as horrendous as that is to say."

"I only ever attended one and just from that, I ever so gravely attest to that. I better go break the two up before she attacks.”

"Oh please do, can't have him squabbling already.” Peeta smiled and soon enough Finnick was stalking back your way.

"She'll come around.” He assured before you could even open your mouth as the two of you stepped into the carriage.

"I'm sure she will. Peeta and I could feel the tension from a room away.”

"Everybody likes me.”

"I'm sure talking like that is exactly why she doesn't.” You nudged him playfully.

"Oh shut up.” He rolled his eyes.

"That's no way to talk to your wife, Mr. Odair.”

“I apologize, Mrs. Odair." He pulled you in for a kiss just as the carriage came into the bright sunlight, the screaming proved its effectiveness to you. It was sure to leave an impact on them when they looked back on the tribute parade.

𓈒��𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you all again for your continued reading and support, especially since I feel like this is so slow paced but there's so much I want to get in there. if you enjoyed feedback, comments, likes, reblogs are all much appreciated, as always my inbox is wide open for any thoughts y'all have! so excited for getting into the training parts and some rebellion planning in the next part. love y'all so much, thank you again 💕💋

taglist: @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @avoxrising @artsyaquarium @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @secretsicanthideanymore @darlingsoulbeautfulthoughts @thatonegayloser616 @kybermp3 @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @ravensinthedaylight

#finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair angst #thg #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair x reader angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #finnick imagine #thg finnick #finnick odair fanfic #finnick x reader #finnick x you

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relaxxattack · 7 months

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Piggybacking off the last anon, what is it you like about Jane so much? I find my feelings on her kind of mixed but I lean towards positive.

okay i haven’t read act six in probably like 5 years so bear with me here. *cracks knuckles*

jane is sooo so interesting and it’s really a shame people miss like everything fun about her.

pre-scratch she used her detective work to literally succeed at tearing down the crocker cooperation, to the point that HIC has to fucking abandon ship and head into another universe to have another shot at her evil empire. pre-scratch jane is also fucking hilarious! if you didnt enjoy her antics with john as nannasprite you must just have no heart

meanwhile HIC breaches a new universe, and her FIRST fucking order of business is to NEUTRALIZE JANE CROCKER because of how goddamn detrimental she was to HIC’s plans the first time around.

not ONLY does HIC pump subliminal messaging and brainwashing into nearly every aspect of jane’s life, she also tries to straight up mind control her basically whenever possible! she ALSO sends assassination attempts after jane 24/7! (people will seriously try to say that jane lived a safe normal life… as if she wasn’t almost killed by walking into her backyard.) this is because HIC is fucking scared of jane, as she very well should be!

jane is also NOT a boring weepy annoying crybaby like everyone and their mother complains about. jane is literally the most fucking supportive friend and emotion-repressing dumbass you could ever hope to meet. jane combines john’s emotional repression and jade’s intentional cheerfulness together into one of the most fucked up cases of emotional repression in the whole comic

act 6 suffers from a LOT of shitty writing choices, but it’s not jane’s fault the whole act turns into a soap opera— and she’s ALSO not the only one who acts all soap-opera-y either! literally all of the alpha kids suffer from this, people just like jane the least so they project it all onto her. despite the fact that she did her very fucking best to NEVER talk about her feelings, to the point where she ONLY started telling people about shit when she was mind-controlled or took mind altering substances to make her do so! and you can say “ohhh that’s stupid she shouldn’t repress things in the first place how dumb” but, one she’s sixteen, and two, everyone eats that shit up when it comes from like. literally any other character.

people (cough hs2 writers) act like she would actually be “pushy” with a relationship on jake— as if she wasn’t literally the one who helped him make the decision to explore dating dirk?? because she thought it was the right thing to do???

jane is incredibly thoughtful and mature and people really throw all of those traits out of the window with preference for a version of the story where she Comes Inbetween Their Fave Gay Pairing as if she wasn’t, again, the one who got them together. jane is also extremely interesting in terms of queerness; she’s got the makings of a really interesting arc, not to mention she’s the only human girl that dresses mainly masc! there’s a lot there that people just don’t care to explore.

people just have less patience for the prospit kids in general. not to mention homestuck fans love to be misogynistic and berate jane for stuff they love the men doing, or claim she’s coming between them when she’s not, etc etc. and then because no one was writing fun meta posts about her, nobody ever rereads the comic to grab little scenes or lines to expand the online discussion about her! and then because there’s no discussion about her, people assume she’s boring and don’t go looking for bits to start discussing, which cycles on and on forever until we have the ripple effects we see of that misogyny today. which mostly consists of, “oh i hate jane because she was a villain is hs2”, or, “i know hs2 isn’t canon but i still don’t care for jane because she doesn’t do anything that interests me.” (and she’s only not interesting because of the cycle i mentioned before causing NO ONE to have meta discussion about her).

idk, it’s been a while since ive read so i could be talking out my ass but that’s what i’ve got.

TL;DR: jane is fucking COOL, she just suffers from intentional fandom ignorance. and she’s also a canonically hot, fat, masc woman, so i don’t know what else you could possibly want.

#oh god i didn’t mean for this to get so long #lol i hope this helped????#jane crocker #homestuck #op #hsmeta #long post

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celluloidbroomcloset · 5 months

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I wrote a bit ago why Stede's coming-out narrative resonated with me, but I was considering more about how it's different from a lot of coming-out narratives in mainstream media.

Cinematic coming-out narratives tend to centralize the more public aspect of the revelation—often coming from a character who has known about or discovered their sexuality earlier in the story, followed by their coming out to friends or family members (often to disparate reactions). But Stede’s coming out is a simultaneous moment of self-knowledge and openness with the one person in his English life with whom he has been most intimate, and who has been most damaged (other than himself) by him.

I’ve seen it mentioned elsewhere that it’s interesting to have a gay man ask a straight woman what it’s like to be in love and to have her words help to bring his repressed feelings into form. The entire sequence is an acknowledgment of Stede and Mary's affinity with each other, reinforced by the combination of intimacy and distance that is a part of their married life. It happens in an intimate setting, in their bedroom, but we've seen how very non-intimate the bedroom is, where they either barely touch in bed or crowd each other out, get dressed and undressed with their backs turned, and where Stede refuses to talk about his emotions or desires.

But in the coming-out scene, for the first time, we see warmth in their room. There's a fire, and both are in their night clothes; Mary's hair is down, and Stede is without his nightcap. The effect is that they're more apparently comfortable with each other, despite the circumstances, than they've ever been before. Stede realizes that his existence has stopped Mary from experiencing her life. He sees that she’s found something to be passionate about with her art, that she's in love with Doug, and he wants to understand her.

There’s an open question of whether Stede has known about his attraction to men and simply repressed it or tried to ignore it, or whether he wasn't even aware of it. The sexual freedom fostered on the Revenge doesn’t seem to include his own sexuality. His relationship with Ed progresses like a friendship - and while they perform things like a divorce, it never appears that Stede is consciously aware that his feelings are not solely friendship, but sexual attraction and romantic love.

Which makes sense if we note that Stede has no friends, certainly no close ones, at home. He can sit in a pub and talk to people, but he’s not close to them (he’s isolated at the head of the table, rather than in the center of the group, and even mocked when he's the center of attention). The closest person he has to a friend is Mary, with whom he has to live and who also struggles to understand him. He doesn’t know what friendship really feels like, either.

Stede has no one else that he could be honest with, or even hope to talk to beyond superficialities. Even then, it takes an extreme act, starting with his rant at the art gallery and ending with her trying to kill him, to break down the barriers enough for them to talk. Where Stede is able to talk more intimately with Lucius and Frenchie and Ed, it takes near death for him to talk to his wife.

Certainly the coming out seems to be not a discovery of feelings but an actualization of them. Mary’s description puts into words what he's been experiencing, possibly his whole life. And for Stede, words and stories are deeply powerful—they're the way he enters into pirate life, the way he tries to understand himself and others. Talking, reading, and writing are fundamental parts of his self-expression, and so his coming out occurs through a story another person tells him. He plays pirates with his children, he reads to the crew, he asks for Ed's stories, he talks himself into roles like "the Gentleman Pirate." He participates in stories as a way of expressing the reality of who he is and who he wants to be. He needs to be able to put his feelings into words before he can ever fully express them.

So often cinematic coming-out scenes are framed as dangerous—how the other person, or people, will react. But there's no danger here. The danger is that Stede won't embrace the feelings that he has, which is put to rest even as Mary talks and we see the images of his past with Ed.

The scene centralizes Stede, not Mary, but it also does not ignore her. There’s no hesitation when he says “...I think I have,” or when he says, “His name is Ed.” Neither line is thrown off as an afterthought—he meets Mary’s eyes, he emphasizes his words. He’s clear that he’s talking about a man. He simultaneously comes out to her and to himself.

It is important that she's present for that, because Stede does need someone else to hear his words. He's a storyteller, and he needs to draw others into the stories that have formed such a part of his life. It isn't so much that Stede needs someone to perform to, but someone to enter the story with him, to make the words real.

Here, Mary draws him into her story of being in love. And he in turn asks her to hear the beginning of the story that he's concealed from everyone, including himself: "His name is Ed."

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #mary bonnet #gif #edward teach #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #rhys darby #claudia o'doherty #coming out narratives #coming out #queer community #queer

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nalyra-dreaming · 3 months

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I enjoy your blog and I’m not trying to be argumentative; just some friendly debate, but I notice you and Virginia both frequently reduce the entire Antoinette ordeal to Louis’ feeding habits and Lestat’s need for attention and adoration. Don’t you think Lestat had to have at least a little love for Antoinette? He had to love her on some level not to kill her right off the bat. This is apparent in the scene before Louis is playing cards before Doris tells him Jonah is there, Lestat is standing up close to the stage, completely entranced watching Antoinette perform like there is no one else in the room. Louis isn’t even present to make jealous. He slept with her and didn't kill her before Loustat was having serious problems like lack of intimacy. He stayed with her just as long as he stayed with Louis. I’m sorry, but I don’t think that man ever had any intention of being in a monogamous relationship.

Hey nonny!

(All good, you can be argumentative, as long as you're kind it's all fine, I just won't accept hate or insults anymore^^, hope that makes sense! Also, I really don't see that as argumentative^^)

I think @virginiaisforvampires and I just ... shorten the Antoinette discussion at times (by now) because it's been... a theme.

Like, the fandom latched onto the jealousy angle so massively, the asks wrt her were so numerous, the human cheating AUs on Ao3 so prevalent... the vampiric aspect seems to be often overlooked.

I think you're referring to my ask with the open relationship?

Because of course Antoinette was more.

(this is long, so the rest under the cut:)

She became more when he did not kill her as a feeding fling. (And I still stand by the fact that they must have had a lot of feeding flings, for example Louis is not really taken aback by soldiers in their bedroom - the same bedroom he gets so sharp about with Antoinette, which is another detail.)

So yes, Lestat apparently slept with her and didn't kill her. We don't get to see it, but it is insinuated.

But there is a lot more to Antoinette, and that is why some think she might show up again later. I am not sure if you're familiar with "the musician" from IWTV, "Antoine" from the later books?

Let me recap:

In IWTV we have the unnamed "musician". Louis never bothers to find out his name, even though it is clear that Lestat turns him. That unnamed musician then gets into the crossfire of Claudia's attempt on Lestat's life, and Louis... forgets about him. But he did know about him from the beginning:

"Lestat had a musician friend in the Rue Dumaine. We had seen him at a recital in the home of a Madame LeClair, who lived there also, which was at that time an extremely fashionable street; and this Madame LeClair, with whom Lestat was also occasionally amusing himself, had found the musician a room in another mansion nearby, where Lestat visited him often. I told you he played with his victims, made friends with them, seduced them into trusting and liking him, even loving him, before he killed. So he apparently played with this young boy, though it had gone on longer than any other such friendship I had ever observed." [..] "I could not tell whether he had actually become fond of a mortal in spite of himself or was simply moving towards a particularly grand betrayal and cruelty. Several times he’d indicated to Claudia and me that he was headed out to kill the boy directly, but he had not. And, of course, I never asked him what he felt because it wasn’t worth the great uproar my question would have produced. Lestat entranced with a mortal! He probably would have destroyed the parlor furniture in a rage."

(Interesting tidbit about the rage, which they picked up for the show!)

Louis even encounters Antoine, has a bit of a discussion with him after the initial attack on Lestat:

‘What is it?’ I asked him. ‘What did you need from him? I’m sure he would want me to...’ “ ‘He was my friend!’ He turned on me suddenly, his voice dropping with repressed outrage.

This last bit is important, for the later books, most importantly for "Prince Lestat", which we know Rolin takes from. Because in that book, in chapter 7, we find out what happened to "the musician", Antoine, after that fateful night, when Rue Royale burned (in the book).

Because Antoine did not burn to death (in the show, likely: Louis and Claudia did not know to scatter the ashes), and he survives, hideously burned, needing decades to heal. Lestat reunites with him before he chases after Louis and Claudia (to Europe).

When Antoine later tells of his own story, he says this:

“He was my friend, Lestat,” Antoine confessed. “He told me about his lover, Nicolas, who had been a violinist. He said he couldn’t speak his heart to his little family, to Louis or Claudia, that they would laugh at him. So he spoke his heart only to me.”

There is a LOT in that little paragraph. A lot that fits with what we know from the show, too.

Louis (in the show) tells of Lestat saying that "Antoinette fortifies him against them". Antoinette became more than a passing interest, a passing feeding fling, true, because Lestat can confide in her, can be himself with her, especially later, when things between him and Louis take on a strain. But he never leaves Louis, and I think that is often overlooked - (s)he was never a real threat to Louis, nor Claudia. Lestat left Antoine behind when he goes after them, to try to save them.

Louis on the show makes it seem as if Antoinette was that major threat. And the show (of course^^), sharpened that threat by making Antoine a woman, a white woman, whose very presence represented what Louis could not be in their relationship at the time, namely an official partner.

Louis uses the focus on Antoinette and what she represents to overshadow other things that coincide with the affair. He does the same later, when they are threatened, to shift the focus to Lestat's paranoia. It's clever, because it's built on truth, a "look at my right hand, not at my left" approach. But the real story is much more difficult than that.

And I think that goes for Antoine(tte) as well.

Since Rolin is specifically taking from "Prince Lestat" as well there is no way in hell he has somehow missed reading chapter 7, or has missed Antoine in the later books/chapters.

I for one wouldn't be surprised if she shows up at the trial - or in Dubai. Maybe she's that interior designer, who knows that Louis is missing the natural world....

I don't know. We'll see. But I doubt that the jealousy angle is all there is to it. There are too many discrepancies, even down to the make-up they used for her (which is its own meta). Lestat may have very well loved her, albeit differently than he loves Louis.

As for the monogamous relationship(s)...

Nonny, forgive me, but these are not humans. They are vampires.

They hunt, and kill humans, for food and pleasure. They play with their food, like other predators in our world do, too. They are also inherently hedonistic, looking for pleasure. (Maybe) Especially Lestat is trying to drown himself in the pleasurable things at times, for reasons that the show will still get to. Since the show explicitly added sex to the mix that desire is of course expressed in the hunt for pleasure, too.

But totally apart from "food", and sex... these vampires are a mess, relationship-wise.

When Lestat and Louis are "married" in the later books as Jacob calls it (I bet they'll make that literal in the show^^), that doesn't mean that they don't still love others. Have loved others. Will love others. They are beyond the need to narrow down their love though. And they are "official partners" then.

But it's... a knot of relationships and history.

Some of these people are truly immortal. Like, can not be killed anymore.

Imagine living with that fact (it maybe most famously sends Lestat reeling in "The tale of the Body Thief", for example).

Imagine loving with that fact. Imagine having the time.

#Anonymous #asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #antoinette brown #book quotes #prince lestat #antoine

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ofcowardiceandkings · 9 months

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companion piece of young Link

AAHH i finally finished something :'D

i've uh had some very specific Thoughts about Zelda's childhood for a while now so its about time i put them to paper - this is actually round TWO since the original doodles are lost to ... somewhere ... i like these second editions better though so alls well that ends well

we're looking at ages around 4, 7 and 10 years old here touchin bugs in the dirt, archery practice, and playing a lyre ;w;

more detailed Thoughts under the cut 💙

iiitssss customary ranting about my BotW/TotK opinions tiiiimeeee welcome my darlingsss jfkdjfkd 💙

i had a much more solid idea about where i was going with Zelda than with Link but some of it is kinda abstract or weird lol

we know a fair amount about her upbringing in general, or can infer as much from Zelda's interactions with her father and what they and people around them wrote. she was clearly a smart and vivacious kid with a strong personality from the start, no matter how much you sort of squash that shit for the public face, repression etc. so yknow, her mother's death when she was 6, awful. her father's change in attitude especially in her teens, awful. being under public scrutiny her whole life, awful. restrictive structure of royal life, dull (i bet it bored Zelda to death at times no matter how strongly duty-oriented she is). having said that though, she got by and just by looking at her study, she clearly got stuff done to herself - you can take the kid away from the science but the science stays with the kid !!!

additionally, forgive me for mentioning ... timelines ... but in my humble onion, BotW/TotK serve as a Dragon-Break scenario which are SO far in the future from other entries that ALL timelines will inevitably converge and lead to that point, so it doesnt matter any more (i dont like extended Timeline theory, Nindooty doesnt like extended Timeline theory, the current writing team seem to want shot of it, let me be). being a history guy i also subscribe to leaning on the LEGEND aspect of 100 and 1000 year games of telephone, it makes things spicy. tradition is a strange thing, we do things we dont have much of a context for anymore, we're still living with the cultural hangovers of people living when mammoths were around and no thats not hyperbole lol its WILD. ive typed around the point enough lets get going

she was a bugs girl !!!! she still IS a bugs girl lmao but if our 16 year old girlie is gonna pounce on frogs apropos of nothing, that 4 year old girlie is gonna go catch bugs in the Royal Gardens and freak out her maids or escorts with them, good for her 💅

the other two are where my timeline thing comes in; the triforce is never mentioned by name, its just there in symbolism ?? something about the blood of the goddess ?? divine sealing powers ??? no one knows in the same vein, i like to think that its traditional for Hylian Princesses to learn archery and play a lyre or harp ... but no one remembers quite WHY ?? so Zelda does. the Priestess-Princess* role means the public is aware that Zelda had formal singing training, but its not really common knowledge outside of the Castle that the Royal Girls do THIS (no one knows why that part is important either, but it stays in the Castle). she might be a little out of practice now, but give that muscle memory enough time and she might be able to really surprise people.

*this is part of the Japanese translation, at least in Kass' final song Zelda is referred to as an term roughly meaning Priestess-Princess - which makes total sense to me

ohhh my god i talked a lot okay i just love my gorl fhjdkfjdk

actual footage of me explaining my shit and going way long

#tears of the kingdom #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #botw zelda #totk zelda #totk fanart #botw fanart #loz zelda #botw/totk #pilots doodles #botw/totk blogging #zelda blogging #rory's ramblings

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crestfallercanyon · 2 months

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Kristen is so fucking relatable as a repressed teenager jfc. I am both horrified and in awe of Ally Beardsley’s playing of Kristen Applebees — Kristen is a MESS but she’s a lovable mess who I’m glad everyone’s kind exasperatedly supporting. I knew plenty of people like her in my school or going through this wild renaissance of new information about themselves (or that they wouldn’t let themselves learn about who they were) and it’s just really uplifting to see Kristen have such good friends through it all (though her speech started sweet and very swiftly needed to be shut down lol) but I know lots of people might like really regard her as frustrating and awful but she’s a teenager who is going through a lot of changes and crises of faith and persona and I just gah. I love her.

Fig and her care toward her two dads is adorable, every interaction with Gilear is gold (also props to Gilear for recognizing Sklonda is too much woman for him) but also the mantras in the mirror were so sweet. I also love how Gilear interacts with all of Fig’s friends and how Fig asserts herself and just wants the best for literally everyone. Yes she is very mischievous (also holy shit her deception skill is so fucking high??) but she’s mischievous on the path of good and I love it.

Fabian makes me sad. Like, he wants to impress his dad but he wants to be his own man. And Bill Seacaster — I still don’t know what to make of him— but being around someone whose mood is entirely unreliable (and assuredly that bleeds into other aspects of him) no wonder Fabian tries so hard to be strong and stable because he’s had to deal with instability his whole life.

Gorgug — I’ve talked about Gorgug a few times now but he’s just such a sweetheart. He called himself stupid and that’s tragic because he may not be the one figuring out all the clues and know what to do but he’s also the one they can rely on to diffuse a situation or just be kind about unknown things and as a barbarian that’s a huge tonal shift that’s so impressive. He’s not the brightest bulb but he may be the sweetest and that matters.

Adaine and her whole sibling rivalry gives me life. I’m glad she’s rebelling against her parents. She became powerful and wonderful and adept DESPITE her parents (whereas Aelwyn always had their full support) and I think that’s something that — while painfully — I hope she’ll learn to carry with pride.

Also Riz? One, he’s such a great like awkwardly confident teenager, and I’m glad he responded to his mom’s hiding of information the way he did (I love that him and Sklonda are like— healthy parent/child relationship) (also love how Brennan plays Sklonda), but he takes this with stride and won’t let all the things dragging him down hold him back and I’m sure for Sklonda that’s both amazing and scary because she wants her son safe but it just warms my heart to see.

And the teamwork here!!! Kristen and Adaine detecting magic and good here? Gorgug trying to find a power source for the palimpsest. THE BIZ REVEAL?? Also Riz’s final move here to take the palimpsest and then pull the gun with Biz!!! That was fucking AMAZING, because of course he’s not cool with what Biz is doing and I also I want Riz and Adaine both to absolutely tear Biz apart.

Adaine and Riz teamups are truly my beloved — like go you angry intelligent kids, go go go!

Honestly all of them — I’m so excited for this fight at the arcade let’s get it.

#dimension 20 #crest’s d20 ramblings #fhfy #d20 fhfy #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #figueroth faeth #kristen applebees #fabian aramais seacaster #dimension 20 fantasy high

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fumifooms · 6 months

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Marcille & Chilchuck contrasts & similarities

Yesterday in the Dunmeshi Discord we talked about narrative foils and I ended up writing a lot about my fave duo so. Informal character analysis time. I give some in-depth interpretations on aspects of Chilchuck’s character near the end as well, not just analyzing their characters in how they contrast each other

Marcille and Chil are so foils to me. "Has experienced loss through death and now clings onto the people around her and is overly interested in engaging in social gossip" vs "has experienced loss through rejection and now refuses to open up to anyone until socially starved", like both are responding to their experience with loss in fully different ways, socializing and trying to learn all she can for the short time she has with others but trying to keep digestible enough that she’s not too attached if she loses them, vs refusing to socialize so the problem stops before it begins but eventually unable to resist the pull that comes with being a social creature. Like I guess what I’m trying to say is that Marcille engaging with social gossip could be a shallow way for her to vicariously experience social relationships if she feels like forming deep bonds is unsafe. Family is a core motivation and value for them but in different ways. Both want to keep the status quo but in different ways.

Divorcee who avoids love wether it be in the people around him or thinking about his own (past?) romance vs hopeless romantic that idealizes love without herself having been in a relationship or even in love herself as far as we know. Emotional constipation vs emotional intelligence. Streets savvy vs prestigious academic, field experience vs book smarts. Crass vs prim. Overbearingly social vs private to a fault. Never externalizes his feelings and to a degree represses them vs wears her heart on her sleeve and her feelings on her face. They start out underestimating each other in different ways, one by assuming his age and the other by undermining her skills, experience and willpower. Both seeing each other’s motives as somewhat skewed (money and research of shady magic respectively) but growing to respect them.

They also both seek approval and validation from others, unlike Senshi and even Laios who don’t seem to care about outside perception as much, Marcille worries early on that she’s not helpful enough and slowing the party down meanwhile Chilchuck is almost always trying to prove a point early on that he’s capable and mature. Coincidentally enough, Chilchuck’s approval was both the catalyst and the key to resolving her arc about it in the mandrake chapter, meanwhile besides Senshi Marcille is the one whose perception of Chilchuck gets the most changed over the course of the whole manga. Something else notable is how they deal differently with their races being judged, while Chilchuck reaffirms himself as a proud half-foot, Marcille hides her half-elf nature and is embarrassed of it when it’s revealed. Something subtle yet interesting is also how they both are shown to prefer lying in a way that makes them look bad rather than admitting ignorance on something. Chilchuck says that he cheated on his wife and that’s why she left rather than just saying that he doesn’t know why she did. Marcille in the mandrake chapter says that she has used a dog to harvest mandrakes (thus killing it) before while in truth she never has, and everyone including herself is like "That’s horrible… The poor dog!"

Their dad dies. Chil is like "Hm. Cool. Anyways he died doing smth he loved right so haha lemme drink myself into an early death bed too yolo 🔥🤟" vs "He died and it shattered my world and I must devote all my life to wiping death out of existence".

"I am going to knowingly shorten my lifestyle through unhealthy habits actually."

Problem solving approaches

One thing I love about them is how they have complete opposite approaches to problem solving. Besides striving for workers’ rights and job stability for halflings with an union, he’s very "laissez-faire". He won’t do the righteous thing just because it’s the right thing if he doesn’t have an incentive or a safety net, like going to save Falin. He doesn’t chase after his wife to talk it out and make amends, he gives her space and either hopes she’ll talk when she’s ready or figures that he shouldn’t try to do anything about it. He doesn’t mention the mimic he noticed to the others to not make a big deal out of it and hopefully it won’t come up again. He’s a "if the glass is half-full that’s fine enough for me, I don’t need things to be as good as they could be" type, a "leave it alone until it figures itself out" type.

Marcille? Marcille is idealistic and in-your-face. If there is an issue you better believe Marcille will address it and try her hardest to fix it, will talk it out and attempt to understand & strive to make things as best possible for everyone involved. She will FORCE you to talk about your FEELINGS wether you like it or NOT. Leaving it alone? Keeping things as just okay when they could be great instead? No no no no no, that’s not right, she’s going to try and fix it now. She will make you stand up and fight for the best that your life could be, to be honest when something bothers you and do something about it, will make you stop suppressing yourself because you’re scared of things getting worse.

Which, you know, both methods certainly have their pros and cons, but they’re very complimentary in that way. He grounds her into a more down to earth mindset and teaches by example that it’s okay if things don’t necessarily work out and moving on is possible and not necessarily miserable, while she encourages him to not give up so fast or stay quiet on things that bother so much. He soothes and she emboldens 🔥 Funny, because you could have thought it would’ve been the contrary, which is not untrue either, but he’s the "has experienced the harshness of life and has settled for something comfortable but modest" while she’s the "wants to make the world better and goes to great lengths to change it while still trying to find herself & uncomfortable with some aspects of life like loss".

One overly focuses on dealing with issues by changing things around her while the other overly focuses on only changing himself.

——

Chilchuck leaves things alone if he thinks they’re best left unaddressed or thinks they’ll work itself out. Like the mimic he didn’t tell the group about but it backfired later. Like how he didn’t chase after his wife or seemingly tried to contact her at all. Like how he prefers not to dig into people’s personal issues in parties and be left alone to deal with his stuff on his own as well.

Meanwhile Marcille is overbearingly in-your-face and loud and "if there’s a problem we’re dishing it out right here right now. Your wife left you?? And you didn’t try to get her back?? I am going to write out a script and a plan for you to apologize and please bring these piles of presents."

She’s secretive about her fair share of things as well but she’s very proactive. While she seeks to research something that’s a core motivation and life goal to her + save someone she deeply cares for Chil is there for his job and to get money and "hey if something happens I’ll have done my part. I took you guys here now you guys figure out the rest and fight the monsters or something". They both like to have a say in the strategy, Chilchuck moreso as time goes on, but Marcille involves herself much more into almost everything.

Espescially early on, they’re always sticking by each other judging Senshi & Laios together and being like "Am I seeing this shit right. They’re crazy right? Tell me I’m not the only one here with common sense" and forming a 🤝 relationship over it and considering that, it sometimes feel… Contradicting? How they also have a lot of conflict together over time about how different they truly are. But it’s interesting and nice to see how even though they do have arguments it always gets resolved pretty promptly, like they’re truly hashing it out as equals and then when that’s done they’re back to being on the same wavelength. The exception would be Marcille taking a long time to come around on Chil being old, but arguments and debates like the one on dark magic and if it’s okay or wrong to use it, which was pretty serious and not just banter? They came to find a middle ground or at least understanding, and it didn’t seem to lower the respect they hold for another afterwards.

Chilchuck’s repressing habit

I do think Chilchuck has a repressed thing where he doesn’t WANT to think about it about his feelings sometimes, like with his wife- and maybe with his father? But the way he was so casual and nonchalant about his father dying has always struck me. I’m not sure if this is a "my feelings on my father were mixed and complicated at best" thing or a "I just don’t want to spend time thinking about it" thing or something else, but it gives food for thought.

When it comes to alcohol there’s this saying where an alcoholic parent will have 2 kids and one will grow to be alcoholic too while the other will never even touch a drop of alcohol and both when asked why will say "I watched my father". Chilchuck is def the first I think. He gives the vibe of "An alcoholic parent puts a strain on familial relationships?? Pshh, my father was and look at me! I turned out great!" Which is something I’ve heard irl lol which always makes you go like 👀 yes indeed you’re perfectly well-adjusted and haven’t been affected by your father’s alcoholism at all it’s clear as day. On that topic, Chilchuck’s family, both currently and when he was a kid, are very interesting topics to theorize about with the hints and cues we have, how his wife truly felt and what happened for her to feel unappreciated enough to leave, how distant is he from his daughters if they haven’t seen each other in the same year either and Flertom was the only one to send him a letter? But that’s a topic for another day

Chilchuck probably has such a complex…. Of like not being… Like allowed to take space I guess? And he does wish to affirm that right, he takes space and asks for it so very overtly, he formed a half-foot guild to demand better working conditions as one of the biggest examples of that. He grew up poor and undermined but he knows that he’s capable and someone worthy of respect and demands it, and takes every opportunity to prove himself. But on the other end, he doesn’t seem to want to keep his hopes up in general, like asking for something to be better is bound to fail, that it’d be too good to be true. He tries to keep out of where his job doesn’t need him, from a sense of efficiency that cuts down on unnecessary stops but also because he just thinks it isn’t his place to do so. It strikes me that it’s hinted that like… He doesn’t even really consider the possibility of going to his wife and trying to mend the relationship. Like it’s either she’ll decide to take him back on her own or he’ll be left out in the cold waiting, never knowing just where he’s truly at with her and if things are over for good. Like… Shooting his shot and making his case doesn’t even register as an option? Like he’s not worth fighting for, like whatever he did wouldn’t change her opinion anyways?

He def has a "life isn’t like a fairytale where everything goes well" philosophy where sometimes it feels like he just gives up on how things maybe could be better, especially interpersonally. Maybe it’s why he focuses on simple joys like alcohol instead of trying to keep up with relationships which can be complex and very fickle, in his own words. Something like alcohol is predictable, always there to fall back on, safe, gives him sensations without other emotional/social risks attached. Ironic for someone whose job is all about risks, but understandable

He contradicts even himself… Bro yes you’re capable, yes you’re great, yes you matter, now maybe speak about your feelings maybe??? Or do you not think your emotional issues deserve to get fixed and have closure???? Are you so used to being dismissed, overlooked and undermined that you think no one will listen even if you speak up?? And this recontextualize his "I’m not even gonna try and talk this issue out because I know (assume) that it won’t solve anything anyways" approach, doesn’t it.

"I must break my party members’ stuff or lie to them because if I just tell them my opinion and my feelings that I don’t want them to die they won’t care anyways and keep going"

In a way everyone is the glue of the party in different ways, Laios giving the group a direction and a plan, Senshi keeping them fed and grounded, Marcille making everyone more social and encouraging bonds to form, and for Chilchuck he’s the one most focused on actually keeping everyone alive I think.

Conclusion

Idk I’m not gonna repeat every point but have this as a parting contrast:

Guy with shortest lifespan possible who doesn’t mind knowingly shortening his own with an unhealthy habit, here for a good time not a long time, VS girl with longest lifespan possible who wants to lengthen everyone’s life, who focuses on how long she can keep something or someone rather than how happy her time with it has made her already. They’re both loud in their own way, and both are still insecure despite appearances. In a way, both of them focus on taking care of others while overlooking their own demons.

#Dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #marcille donato #character analysis #meta #Marchil #For the discord peeps i mostly streamlined things and yeah added a few things but prob not worth rereading #Sorry for posting less I’m still brainrotting just as much now I just do it more frequently on Discord instead lol #I have so many thoughts written down already I just dunno how to structure and post them. One day. For now I’m working on a marchil fic #Analysis

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glittering-snowfall · 11 months

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The Elsanna ship, ten years later...

When I think about the golden days of the Elsanna ship (circa 2013-2015), two images come to mind – this one…

…and this one…

Both pieces of fanart were created to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage nationwide in the US in June 2015 – and both encapsulate the youthful energy, the innocence, the idealism of Elsanna shippers at the time. They might seem silly now to some people, but only because they are so earnest. There is an achingly earnest sincerity here because the Elsanna-shipping community was made up of a bunch of young, queer Disney fans.

The ship wasn’t created by a bunch of creeps who wanted to “disregard or misunderstand the message of the film.”

The ship was created by a group of young wlw, young lesbians, young queer folks, who were drawn to the film because of its themes of self-acceptance and self-understanding (because they UNDERSTOOD the message of the film.) And they were drawn to the sisters’ bond because, in some way, it resonated with them – a connection between two people that was based on coming to an understanding of shared trauma and pain, a connection rooted in compassion for someone othered by society.

Frozen came out in 2013. Korrasami wouldn’t be canon for a while yet, things like Lumity and Catradora weren’t even a dream, and these naive, earnest, heartfelt kids wanted to see something that reflected themselves so much that they built a ship from the ground up.

I have seen people in recent years express bewilderment about why the Elsanna ship came into being, saying things like, “Why does this ship exist? Elsa and Anna aren’t in love; they’re sisters.” Which… duh. Obviously, they are not in love. Obviously, they are sisters. Such an attempt to say, “Checkmate, creeps!” ignores why ships come into existence in the first place. Non-canon ships emerge because there are aspects of two particular characters that the audience can relate to or project a part of themselves upon/see themselves in; and because there are elements of these characters’ dynamic/interactions that the audience can project upon/see themselves in.

And with Elsa and Anna’s dynamic together and connection throughout the film? There was A LOT that a young queer audience latched onto - NOT because these shippers felt the film was secretly espousing incest subtext, but because the characters were created to be broadly relatable to anyone with a difficult home life, anyone who felt isolated and ostracized from society, and so their narrative together lent itself to a queer reading.

Consider: on the one hand, there is Elsa – a character who exploded across the popular consciousness because so many people related to her individual story, many of them queer young people. Isolated for who she was, taught to repress her identity and her emotions, forced to conform to a society that could harm her. There hardly needs to be any more ink spilled on why Elsa struck such a chord with queer viewers – and the queer viewers who helped to shape the Elsanna ship were among the people who fell in love with her as much as anyone.

On the other hand, there is Anna. Anna’s story is different from Elsa’s, but bears many of the same marks of trauma. Anna is forced to live in a world where the rules feels arbitrary and uncaring, where nothing makes sense but no one will tell her why. Not her sister, who has been taught that she must shut Anna out. Not her parents, the authorities of the society she lives in who put the rules in place. Like many queer young people, Anna is forced to navigate a world where the rules are arbitrary and cruel. And, like her sister, she begins to internalize that pain. “What did I ever do to you?” she cries to Elsa at the coronation because, without the full context, she can’t rule out that this might be her fault – or at least, that societal forces around her tell her that this is her fault even when she did nothing.

There was so much in each character individually that queer young people resonated with.

When you factor in that their connection is something that the powers that be within the film attempt to forbid, that their connection is something that is at first treated as something that needs to be suppressed but that ultimately proves to be a positive force for both of them, then… yeah, it becomes clearer why so many queer young people aching to connect with something would see themselves in that relationship.

I know of several prominent artists on this site who got their start in the Elsanna fandom, or who were happy to take part in the ship because they saw the way other queer young people connected with it (signatures blotted out to prevent potential harassment of artists over decade-old art):

People don’t like to remember it, but ten years ago, there were wlw fandom blogs on here that would casually make or reblog Elsanna art – not because they had some secret insidious agenda – but because the ship connected with them on an emotional level or because they understood why it did with others:

And there were shippers of other queer ships reaching out:

The Elsanna fandom of 2013-15 was a reflection of a group of queer young people (primarily wlw) – a reflection of their passion, their dedication, their craftsmanship, their creativity, and their longing to be seen. It was a group of queer young people using the pieces that a film they loved gave them to create something of their own, from their hearts, for themselves.

Create something of their own with their own spirit and hopes, reflecting their own aspirations and fears and dreams for the future.

And sure, people now can say, “That’s disgusting! How could anyone do that?” In 2020, someone called out a lovely person on here because she shipped Elsanna nearly a decade ago (even though she HAD LONG SINCE DELETED ALL EA CONTENT FROM HER BLOG, even!):

This callout is dishonest. It claims that the individual “thinks shipping them is cute” even though, when this was written, the person had not shipped Elsanna in years. It also claims Elsanna is p/*do/ph/ilic when it is not. (It is incest, obviously, and that is inherently problematic.) It also tries to make a connection between the person wanting queer rep and shipping an inherently problematic ship, when those things do not correlate at all. You can ship something and never want it to be canon. You can ship something and not want it to be “representation” – and that’s what being in the Elsanna fandom of 2013-15 was like.

People didn’t want it to be canon. They didn’t want it to be “representation.” Everyone already knows that incest is wrong. People don’t have to ship something as a crusade for representation. But people DID ship it because they saw something of themselves in the ship – and they saw the opportunity to project something of themselves (their queerness, their sense of being othered and isolated by their families, etc.) onto characters that they loved. The ship provided the opportunity for these young people to explore their senses of self and explore their identities.

And sure, as I’ve said in the past, perhaps that wasn’t ideal – the fact that these young folks were starving for anything that was like them and so had to make a feast from whatever they had available. But I find something BEAUTIFUL in the fact that so many people were able to come together and create such beautiful things because Elsanna inspired them. I know people who met their partners, met their wives, through this ship. I’ve seen firsthand the positive influence it has had.

Like Elsa on the North Mountain, we felt isolated, we were figuring ourselves out. And we built wonders with what was inside of us. The beauty of some of the art in this ship is akin to the beauty of Elsa’s ice palace. The writing I have seen in this ship can be as elegant as any elegantly-sculpted spire Elsa fashioned through her own magic and her own will.

This ship was ours, is ours.

We made it for ourselves, to reflect ourselves and our identities and share aspects of those identities with others, the same way people came to ship Elsamaren when F2 came out. It may have been new faces and a new ship, but it was part of the same idea, just for a different time.

And when you look at the thousands of pieces of Elsanna fanfiction that have been written, and the thousands of pieces of fanart (especially the beautifully diverse styles of early Elsanna fanart) – you don’t get so many people expounding their passion and creativity on something unless it means something to them, and Elsanna meant something to so many people. Mattered to them. Look at the excitement and joy in people’s words in the early days of the fandom if you don’t believe me.

And I think that’s beautiful.

EDIT: I’ve made another post about this, but I want to add to this post that I regret saying things like “maybe that wasn’t ideal” when I wrote it. It WAS ideal because it was a beautiful to see us create a space for ourselves.

And it STILL IS beautiful. It CONTINUES to be beautiful. The fandom still exists and I’m glad that it still exists because it still brings such beautiful things into the world.

Elsanna isn’t just a placeholder until a better, more palatable ship comes along. Elsanna is beautiful in its own right.

#elsanna #frozen #icest #arencest

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citadelofmythoughts · 4 months

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Think what strikes me most about the conversation between Taiyang and Yang in V4 is just how much he's simultaneously shown to be someone who does understand and is able to understand certain aspects of a problem, but is also constantly held back by his own inability to properly address his own biases, and how it affects the way he approaches conflict.

Like his point about finding other ways around a tough problem, which doesn't sound bad on paper, but it's also interesting how it's reflective of the way HE approaches his problems:

Namely, by not really dealing with them at all, and trying to go around them. Especially in regards to Raven and Summer. Rather than properly confronting his complicated history and difficulties with the former, he basically just avoids the subject entirely even when it means actively ensuring that the issue is never resolved and festers until it comes back when he doesn't want it to, or pushes him against the wall until he has no choice but to face the issue, IF he even chooses to do so.

And his interactions with Yang, treating her issues with her Semblance as if it's a tantrum, is also quite demeaning, since that really isn't the issue at all. Rather, it's that she has severely repressed anger and resentment that he and the adults failed to address, and she has to basically vent it out either via her Semblance and fights as the closest thing to a constructive coping mechanism she has, or by pretending everything is okay. She's shown pretty consistently to be a smart fighter, so that was never really the actual problem; it's that people around her depend on her, while very much overlooking how much she's having to bear a burden she shouldn't have had to bear in the first place.

I'm sure I might get some pushback on this but Tai projects, Tai projects A LOT.

And yeah, Yang's biggest problem is her trauma and it's only gotten better because of her friends and Blake but I'd say she's far from healed. The adults in her life and Ruby's failed them.

And before someone comes at me, that's also a theme of the show. How the previous generations have failed and the current one has to pick up the pieces.

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k-s-morgan · 9 months

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What is your HC for Will’s sexuality? Do you see him as bisexual? Also if we only consider canon, is Will a straight man who happened to fall in love with one man (Hannibal)? Sorry for my ignorance here as I am not part of the queer community, but if a straight man falls in love with just one man in particular and doesn’t feel attracted to others, is he considered bisexual? Because I think this is where Will fits. I personally don’t think he’d be attracted to any other men, just Hannibal.

What do you think?

Hi! I don't have a clear headcanon here, but I enjoy speculating because I adore Will as a character.

To note, I won’t be relying on Bryan’s words in this meta as he gave us three different versions of Will’s sexuality, where he called him heterosexual with Hannibal being his possible exception (Bryan: I feel one is omnisexual and one is heterosexual and there's a lot of influence going back and forth, who knows with a six pack of beer what would happen), hinted at Will’s bisexuality (Bryan: You can have this intimate connection with somebody that then causes you to wonder where the lines of your own sexuality are), and implied that Will might be gay (Bryan on Twitter: “YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO BREED” #SUBTEXT #HANNIGRAM #WhatAreYouBecoming). These tags point out not simply to Will’s darkness, but to the other things he (possibly) represses.

So, I think only the show itself should be taken into account when discussing this topic. On the surface, we see Will interested in Alana in S1, sleeping with Margot in S2, and marrying Molly in S3 — and of course, falling in love with Hannibal in the process of all 3 seasons. However, the three women in his life are united by some common aspects — namely, 1) they are perfectly safe and ordinary (with maybe Margot being an exception, but her own sexuality plays a role in this); 2) Will never develops any real emotional connection with any of them. To be more specific.

Alana

We first hear Will referring to Alana in E1 of S1, when he just distantly calls her by her last name. In the course of their time together, Will never seeks Alana out himself. It is Alana who comes to his class, or to the hospital, or to his home — Will does flirt with her, and he kisses her first, but he never appears genuinely interested because he never seems to think about her unless she comes to him. The only exception I personally remember is in E8, where we learn that Will called Alana and invited her over to help him find an animal that was attacked by coyote. Still, the script offers an interesting bit here.

WILL GRAHAM: I invited you over on the off chance we find it alive. Hard to wrangle a wounded animal by myself. (then, realizing) Did you think it was a date?

ALANA BLOOM: Honestly, it never crossed my mind.

Will is at first relieved, then almost disappointed.

So, why relieved? And why flirt with Alana at all if he isn’t actually interested? As I see it, Alana is a very normal, perfectly safe and socially acceptable choice, a nice beautiful woman whose acceptance is clearly important to Will. We know that Will is fighting his demons all the time — he desperately wants to be normal, to bury the darkness inside him. I would say, to him, an acceptance by such a normal person as Alana would mean that there is nothing wrong with him and that he can be normal, too. Now, I can’t say if it was really planned or if it is just a set of coincidences, but I think that the theory that makes most sense is that Will was attracted to Alana’s normalcy first and foremost. He craved an ordinary life at that point, and Alana was someone who could give it to him. The more time passes, the stronger Hannibal and Will’s bond gets, the colder Will acts with Alana. By S3, he doesn’t even know that she had a child and who she is with, so they obviously do not keep any contact. For these reasons, Will never appears emotionally invested in their relationship to me — he remembers about Alana only when she comes to him, like he is only interested in her because she is the only woman he is friends with, someone he doesn’t have to try hard with.

The only aspect that points to the sincerity of Will’s attraction to Alana is his words to Hannibal — that he wanted to kiss her since he’d met her as she’s very kissable. I can interpret it in two different ways. Will can be truly attracted to Alana or he might be so repressed that he thinks he wants things that he doesn’t (and we do have a precedent here — Will tries to deny who he really is in regard to his darkness for quite a long time).

Margot

I think we can all agree that Will was never emotionally interested in Margot. Like with Alana, it is Margot who seeks him out, and Margot is the one to initiate sex. Why does Will agree to it? Just because he wants it? I think it is possible, but I also think it’d be a little out of character for him for several reasons. Will knows Margot has some agenda. He knows she is not interested in sex with him because she admitted she is a lesbian. When she makes her move, Will tells her, "I've got the wrong parts for your proclivities". So he knows the truth, yet still agrees to have sex with her, and during this process, he doesn’t really see Margot. He sees Alana, Hannibal, and a Stag Man– a being that symbolizes his and Hannibal’s connection. More than that, he reaches orgasm only when the Stag Man appears. So, it is equally possible to read this scene as Will’s attempt to engage into the most natural activity in the world — sex with a woman, but he still fails at it by dragging a man and a monster into it.

Molly

Molly is a character who seems alien in the world of the show because she’s the embodiment of normalcy. Will marries her, and we can surely assume they have sex, but from the first seconds of their scenes, it is clear that emotional intimacy between them is missing. Molly and Walter go fishing, an activity that Will enjoys deeply and that could be a uniting hobby for him and his new family. However, Molly and Walter go alone, Will stays home. In all their scenes together, Will never initiates contact between them — he never attempts to touch Molly, sometimes even going out of his way to avoid it. In the hospital, after Dolarhyde’s attack, Will still doesn’t touch her, though his hand twitches as if he considers it. In the second scene, he touches the pillow near Molly’s head, which is so awkward and embarrassing that I’d personally never be able to tell these people are married. The most important thing, Will doesn’t return her ‘I love you’, which is very deliberate. Hannibal tells him that he has chosen a ready-made family, and Will doesn’t argue with it. He goes to Hannibal at the first opportunity because he missed him, not because he needed his help, and then after Dolarhyde’s attack and after learning Hannibal is in love with him, Will easily discards both Molly and Walter and we never see them again. He basically breaks up with Molly back at the hospital, as if her first contact with something not normal taints her in his eyes, breaks the normalcy he thought he needed from her.

So, it is clear that Will never really developed emotional bonds with women in his life. Was he truly attracted to them, or did he like them for the cover of normalcy they could potentially provide for him? I wouldn’t be surprised if Will turned out to be flexible, bisexual, or gay, as it is really open to interpretation and there is enough subtext to support every version. I used to think that Will was bi, but I also wonder if his possible repressed homosexuality could be one the factors that made his fight with himself so intense. Taking into account the area where Will has grown, to him, it is bad enough that he is a killer — he’s also a gay one at that. I think it could enhance his struggle through S1-3 and his slow realization that adhering to social norms in all ways does not make him happy.

Then again, I think Will’s sexuality doesn’t actually even matter at this point because after all seasons, there is only one person who is going to be a permanent part of his life, among all men and women — Hannibal. We have seen that neither Will nor Hannibal can tolerate the other’s partners, and with rich sexual subtext between the two of them, I believe they will easily move forward in their relationship post-fall.

#will graham #hannibal #hannigram #meta #hannibal lecter #alana bloom

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astral-mariner · 1 month

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Sometimes I think about how scary Bulma's first half-saiyan pregnancy could have been for her. After she learned Goku was an alien, she probably investigated how humans and saiyans could have children together. And when she got pregnant with Trunks, she probably called up Chichi to ask how her pregnancy went. Obviously things went okay enough for Chichi even if she had a rough time.

Even then, though, Chichi is a lot stronger than her and is trained as a fighter. Whereas Bulma might worry that her average human strength might put her in danger, carrying a child so much stronger than herself. There are a lot of unknown risks. Bulma might not be fearful about it (she's a pretty fearless person!) but she would definitely be worried and cautious.

You wonder if one of the reasons Vegeta was hovering around Bulma and didn't want to leave her when she was pregnant with Bulla was because her first pregnancy had been really hard. Not just because he (most likely) hadn't been there for most of her pregnancy and the birth of his son. She told him later how scary and difficult it'd been. Especially without him there to provide any details about how pregnancies went for saiyans (if he could even provide them---it seems a lot of saiyans used incubation tanks, and he would've spent most of his life not expecting to have children anyway).

I don't often see this almost "horror" aspect of the mixed-species pregnancy played with in fics! It's really interesting too to think about why Bulma was so set on keeping such a high risk, unplanned pregnancy outside of an established relationship (which you do see discussed in fics quite a bit, and it's always interesting).

Another related headcanon I have is that, while he couldn't admit or express it, Vegeta did want to be a father. And Bulma could tell that terminating the pregnancy would hurt him even if he wasn't in touch with it. I think being able to have a child would mean a lot to Vegeta after he'd been led to believe he was the last of his kind. And while he was definitely conflicted about forming attachments or laying down roots---particularly at this time in his life where transforming was important to him above all else---part of him still really did want to have a family. A part of himself that he had stuffed and repressed all his life, of course. That he doesn't know what to do with, so he rejects and runs from it in a panic, sabotaging and harming himself instead. Only after the Cell Games and watching future Trunks die does he start to come to accept it.

#bulma #headcanons #vegebul #vegeta

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schizosamwincester · 11 days

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Trans femme Dean is, to me, such a consuming headcanon just because of how despite not being intuitive, the second it's in your head it all just clicks. Once you see it, every other aspect of the character fits in perfectly. To just talk about one aspect of it—childhood signs.

Because yes, Dean would have never shown any signs of being anything other than a boy—but how could she? The stereotypical trans girl awakening is sneaking into their moms' closets to try on their shoes and dresses, and Dean didn't have a mom. There was nothing even remotely feminine she could try out because she lived with two men.

Yeah, Dean didn't play with dolls as a kid—but of course she didn't. She didn't need a baby doll. She had Sammy. She wasn't pretending to take care of kids, she actually was.

Sure Dean never asked for different clothes or toys—she didn't have very many to begin with. The few toys they had were Sam's. Her clothes couldn't be any less masculine because they all became Sam's clothes when she grew out of them. And of course, a Dean used to surviving on the bare minimum in motel rooms isn't going to be inclined to ask for much of anything at all.

Dean was around eight when the Shtriga attack happened and she learned that she could never do anything for herself or it would all fall apart. She learned to suppress every desire she had so she could be John's perfect son at eight. From that ridiculously young age onwards, everything is repressed. Everything. Always. She cannot show anything less than hypermasculinity because even if John never says anything, even if John would have been supportive (and truth be told, we have no way of knowing), Dean thinks that any outward femininity would disappoint John. John is perfect and divine, and he's a man. So Dean must also be a man to be anywhere close to as ideal as he is.

A lot of trans headcanons are about the joy of seeing yourself in a fictional character, or the beauty of embracing yourself. This is not that. This is about the tragedy of Dean Winchester. Dean, in the end, doesn't have an identity. Dean has thrown out any wants and desires of his own so he can be the person John wanted him to be. Dean doesn't allow himself to see any future besides what he already has. He doesn't dream. He doesn't want. If you make Dean a trans woman, that is just so, so much worse, because even when she connects the dots, even when she knows exactly who she is and what she wants, she is never going to take it. She needs to be the perfect hunter, and hunters are masculine. She needs to blend in when trying to get information, and she knows with her height and her shoulders and her voice, she's never going to pass.

So Dean stays in the closet. She drinks and fucks to try and distract herself from the dysphoria. And maybe on late nights when she's sure Sam is asleep, she steals his laptop and reads trans forums and fantasizes about what she could have in another life. But in this life? She's never going to do it. Her father didn't sacrifice himself so she could give up hunting and be a poor imitiation of a woman. He sacrificed himself so Dean could be a hunter and help people. To do that, she needs to keep being a man.

Trans Dean Winchester isn't about asking "could estrogen have saved her?" It's realizing that nothing ever could saved Dean because she is simply too unwilling to help herself or put herself first.

#trans dean winchester #trans femme dean winchester #trans headcanon #trans headcanons #trans femme headcanon #trans femme headcanons #dean #dean winchester #supernatural #spn

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fabaceous · 1 year

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do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.

#anon did this answer your question. lol. sorry or you're welcome #also if anyone has anything to add. PLEASE i beg #whether its backing me up or refuting me id be curious to hear #esp about the last one lol i have no idea if that made sense or not the way i explained it #yellowjackets #yj asks

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oatbrew · 7 months

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ok ok ok i just got home and as always here are my thoughts

really enjoyed colin lemoine's take. in terms of just pure vibes hes a step closer to damon daunno than reeve carney. he's not as boyish comic relief as nicholas barasch and he feels like the most.... grounded?? orpheus i've seen. he acts out the "touched" aspect without flanderizing orpheus into just his naivete and rendering him foolish and infantilized. the best way i can describe it is that he just seems like an optimistic but ultimately ordinary guy you could meet at a grocery store line who also happens to be plagued w Unfortunately Blessed with Musical Visions by the Gods Against His Will Syndrome

amaya braganza!!!!! jesus what a vocal powerhouse. her flowers killed me. something about her vocal inflection or acting choices really made her grief over losing her life and her love so visceral. she would be right at home at the obc recording because her voice was pitch perfect. she has a terrific belt but it's during the quiet moments where she's the most effective. like at the end of all i've ever known you can really feel she's already mourning her loss before she's even lost anything which is why flowers was more heartbreaking than normal

will mann is the most intriguing part of this cast to me. hermes actors have the choice of landing on the spectrum of objective narrator to a guardian figure. will feels like the most paternal. you get the sense that not only did he observe orpheus grow up he also had an active hand in raising him. when orpheus nervously stops during epic iii will says "go on, baby" with "baby" obviously ad-libbed 😭 like yes that is his baby

my only real critique of this performance is that the show doesn't actually pick up until way down hadestown. not sure if the cast just wasn't feeling the crowd or themselves until that point (it was a sunday night so i get it). i just make note of this bc livin it up on top is this high energy number that felt strangely middle energy for some reason lol anyone who was experiencing the show for the first time and had no frame of reference wouldn't notice anything amiss but bc im abnormal and pedantic i definitely noticed

and this is by no means a critique of lana gordon's persephone whose lady of the underground is one of the top highlights of the show. she brought the roof down during "there's a crack in the wall".

which brings me to my favorite part of the show: matthew patrick quinn. i didn't think anyone could replace patrick page in my heart but i was just in love with everything matthew brought to this character. he manages to combine facets of patrick and kevyn morrow's hades that i love together. matthew has kevyn's slick charisma and anger but he has patrick's power and world-weariness. he's this incredibly tall, serpentine, and long limbed figure that towers over everyone. patrick as an intimidating and antagonistic force felt like an ancient old god who can break your house by inducing an earthquake but matthew's vibe is more like he could literally be the snake that could tempt you out of a garden of eternal paradise

he and lana are also 🔥🔥🔥 like you can simultaneously feel the millenia of history between them but they also have the chemistry of two hot people going on a date for the first time after a long period of slowburn. the resentment, the familiarity, he way he's obviously repressing his desperation to keep her and both trying to look unaffected and turning to their vices when they reject each other's touch i could absolutely scream

which is why i was sobbing by the end of epic iii. i think the catharsis was just a lot lol and they were so playful during their dance too! like actual lovers who have the most absolute fun during good times. matthew does this little wiggle for her when they're sidestepping and im 100% sure lana broke character and they both started laughing it was so sweet

anyway the fates, the ensemble, everyone was astounding and im gonna see if i can grab another cheap balcony seat before they leave in a week to see if i can catch j antonio rodriguez as orpheus

#as always if anyone wants an audio boot i got you #notes.#hadestown

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