#she constantly is like 'i dont get y u dont like ur figure until i remember why' and its like...yep yeah

[cahmilo]

dumping another request here, but this time with camilo and its also fluffy fluff fluff

Camilo x Fem!Reader where they're aged up (however you like it) and reader is babysitting dolores' "kid" until dolores walks in with her actual kid and and camilo kisses the reader on the lips and runs away shapeshifting into his original self LMAO

(you decide if its established relationship, or friends to lovers thing as long as its fluffy i'll take it LMAO)

Doppelganger ㅡ camilo m.

pairing: aged up camilo madrigal x female reader

genre: fluffy fluff fluff

word count: 3120

tags: mutual pining, shapeshifter camilo, babysitter reader, post-canon encanto

summary: camilo madrigal isn't exactly the confident and cocky boy everyone knew about. sure, he's had his boastful and proud moments but when it comes to his liking for a particular girl in town, well.... let's just say he tries. this time though, he devices a plan to hog her attention for a day.

a/n: MOCHIE all ur reqs are amazing i swear <33 also i hope u dont mind i changed some of the ending cause i saw fanart w similar plot as this so i decided to make it different lol

Knock Knock Knock 

Camilo opened his eyes, disrupting himself from his dream as the knocking become louder. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes with a yawn. In contrary to the 'sunshine boy' everyone sees him to be, he was unfortunately not a morning person. It would take a few more knocks to fully wake the shapeshifter of the Madrigals, and this was the fourth time. 

Having little to no energy, he stood up and made his bed. There was no way he would be able to fall back asleep anytime soon, for the entire town is awake and chattering with their own respective chores. Camilo can faintly hear voices outside his room, probably from his family yelling for their chores every morning before breakfast. 

Footsteps trudging, he leaves his bed all while constantly yawning. He needs the daily arepas to fully awaken the boy, which is the only reason why he looked forward to morning, specifically for breakfast. 

Yawning once more, he contemplated going back to sleep. Yesterday's event of Mirabel's birthday had him completely knocked out, probably drank and danced too much for his liking. 

His half-lidded eyes refused to stay up. Again, he desperately needed some substance or food to bring him out of dreamland, something that would energize him, something that would make him feel-

"Good Morning, Y/N!" Camilo heard his father's voice from the outside balcony, footsteps getting faster like she was running somewhere.

His eyes immediately shot up as soon as he heard your name. 

Turns out, it was enough to fully wake him. 

Figuring that you were in the Casita early in the morning, Camilo then dashed all the way to the house's shared restroom, freshening himself up and making himself look presentable.

Oh shoot, I forgot the curling gel in my room! He muttered a curse as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hair was a frizzy mess and he needed to get that fixed ASAP. Immediately he rushed out to run to his room, but unluckily for him, he almost bumped into you who was not watching where you were going.

With a yelp, he halted from his tracks sighing as he didn't get to crash into you. Looking up, he froze at the close proximity. You were literally right there in front of him, giggling at his panicked state.

"Bad hair day?" You asked, holding back a laugh. Camilo silently cursed himself before regaining his composure as he stood up and playfully rolled his eyes at you. "Tell me about it." He scoffed.

You ruffled his hair, further making it worse while he swats your hands away and whines. "Stop! I was on my way to fix it!" You let out a hearty laugh and unknowingly making Camilo's heart do constant backflips from your voice. 

"If you want I can help you style your hai-" "Oh I know that mischievous grin, hermosa. You're definitely doing anything but styling it." Camilo interrupted you, raising his eyebrows. Yep, he sees through you. You can only give out a sigh and slumped your shoulders while pouting and he pinches your cheeks. 

"Okay, not that I don't mind but you're not usually here early in the morning" Camilo trailed off, leaning on the balcony rails while looking at you.  

You mimicked his actions, leaning on the rails while facing down to the ground floor, motioning to the family downstairs preparing for breakfast. "Senor Felix called me, he wants me to babysit Manuel this afternoon cause Dolores and the rest of the family are busy."

Oh. Camilo thought. Not, surprised, you were the town's second babysitter after Camilo. In times where he is extra busy, you were the one that took over. It was also probably what made you and Camilo closer. Oftentimes you would babysit children together and you both enjoyed it.

"I feel betrayed that she didn't ask me to babysit my nephew." Camilo dramatically exclaimed, putting a palm in his chest to further prove his nonexistent point. This only made you laugh at him again.

"Maybe I'm just better." You smirked. "I'm like that calm wife that tries to keep their baby away from trouble" 

"Oh, dropping the 'wife' word are we? Does that mean I would be the husband?" Camilo flirts, leaning more towards you who had a dead-panned look. 

Two can play at this game. You grinned. Playing along with his antics, you leaned closer as well, putting your hand on top of his which was resting on the balcony handles. "Well..." You whispered in a low voice. Camilo's breath hitched, not fully expecting you to flirt back. 

"- in your dreams, Madrigal" You exclaimed playfully, pulling away and booping his nose. Camilo scrunched his face and then pouted. "You're mean-"

"Breakfast in 10 minutes!" Abuela Alma's voice echoed through the house, abruptly interrupting you and Camilo's moment. 

"Well, you have 10 minutes to fix your hair, hermoso" You snapped back to reality, ruffling his hair to mess it up again making Camilo groan. You turned your heel as you turned away, strutting to leave before he calls you back.

"Not even a goodbye kiss for your husband?" You froze. So much for the flirting earlier... 

Turning back, you rolled your eyes and walked back closer to him and seeing his smug smile. Thinking hastily, you aimed to fluster him as you cup his cheeks and planted a kiss on the corner of his mouth, barely leaving enough space closer to his soft lips. Pulling away, you laughed out loud seeing his gaping face, oh you definitely flustered him. He was frozen like a statue. You pat his cheeks twice and snapped him back to reality. 

"8 minutes, Camilo." You turned around and left confidently, even flipping your hair as you walked out. Camilo however, lagged for a good minute before he ran back to his room while screaming internally. 

—

"Hello? Earth to Camilo!" A waving hand snapped the boy from his thoughts, jolting up and slightly shaking his head. Quickly realizing that he spaced out, he looked around only to find the entire family in the dining table staring at him weirdly while Mirabel was snapping her fingers in front of his face. 

"Are you okay, hijo?" Pepa asked worriedly, putting a hand on her son's head, patting it slightly with pursed lips. Camilo reassured her, "I'm fine, mami. I was just thinking"

"What were you thinking of?" "Uhh"

"It's not a what" Dolores suddenly squeaked. "It's a who, that he was thinking about." 

"NO!" Camilo exclaimed, hastily shaking his open palms to the rest of the family. "It was nothing, really"

"Was it Y/N?" 

"MIRABEL!" Camilo yelled even louder. Sighing in defeat, he bumped his head down to the table, making Mirabel let out a fit of laughter after exposing him. "I knew it!" 

Camilo grabbed the hems of the openings of his ruana, bringing it up to his face to cover his blushing cheeks. That didn't stop his family from teasing, though. Even early in the morning, the Madrigal were always giddy and loud. 

"Okay, okay that's enough!" Pepa said in between cackles after seeing her son sinking into the chair, almost out of sight from the dining table. "But speaking of Y/N, why don't you let Camilo tell her, amor?" Camilo looked up to see his mom motioning to his dad. "Let me tell what?" 

"Oh" Felix let out a cough, fixing his posture. "Change of plans, Y/N isn't babysitting Manuel cause Dolores left him with Mariano for the day. You should drop by and tell her instead. Maybe even make a move." He whispered the last part, only Camilo and Pepa heard it.

Like a meerkat, Camilo popped up from the chair, sitting straight and fixing his ruana before putting out a shy smile. "Okay, papa. I'll tell her" He lied.

Little did they all know, that he too, had a change of plans. 

Camilo smirked and continued his meal, while having his palm resting on his cheek nearer to the side of the lips were you just kissed. Sighing in relief that his family no longer had their attention on him, he daydreamed again, thinking of you.

—

"Dolores?" Your voice echoed through the walls of Casita as you opened the door, letting yourself in. Upon stepping into the entrance, Casita happily welcomed you by shaking its tiles, making you let out a laugh as you patted the walls. Figuring that the girl with enhanced hearing didn't even hear you, you figured that she was just in her magical soundproof room. 

So, you just let yourself in to the empty house. You were practically family at this point, Casita even trusted you enough. 

Humming a soft song, you opened Dolores' door, only to find it calm and tranquil. She wasn't there either, maybe she already left. You thought to yourself, walking towards the nursery to find Manuel. Putting slight knocks at the door startled the one inside, when you softly opened the door, you saw a small figure lying in the crib. 

"Hola, nuelito!" You hummed softly, approaching the 1-year old boy. He was awake, and rolling around the crib. How odd, you thought. You expected the little boy to be still and calm, like her mother. 

"Extra happy today, are we?" Digging your hands to the crib, you lifted the small boy, a tiny laugh emitting from its tiny mouth while you giggled at his cuteness. Another odd thing you noticed?

The boy ran straight to your arms and buried himself in your embrace.

If there was one thing you knew about little Manuel, was that he is an exact carbon copy of her mother. Like Dolores, he was calm and quiet. Not too touchy, not too clingy, and not even too giddy. All the more reason you wondered why he was so different today, and it clicked you.

"Look at you, spending too much time with your mama's hermano" You lightly booped the child's nose. "You're starting to be as loud and clingy as your Tio Milo." 

You ruffled the boy's hair as you set him down to Mirabel's bed. Watching over as to not make him fall off, you carefully sifted through the drawers at Manuel's side of the room, making a bottle of powdered milk formula for him to drink. Glancing occasionally at the little boy, you observed his mannerisms. You thought that he spent too much time with Camilo to the point where they somehow act alike. Manuel would sway side to side, sneeze at random times, and laugh every now and then. You found it adorable and immediately imagined what Camilo would look like spending time with his nephew, probably spoiling him a lot. Your heart fluttered, falling for the guy more. 

As you finished the baby bottle, you shook it before giving it to him. His tiny hands gripped your fingers and your heart melted at how cute the boy was. His eyes similar to Dolores' and his hair like Mariano's, oh Manuel got the good genes. 

You crawled on to Mirabel's bed and fiddled with the story books she made, reading one out loud out of boredom while Manuel finishes drinking. He eventually crawled next to you, looking at the colorful pictures that Mirabel drew. Your smile couldn't leave your face, he was the cutest kid you've ever seen. 

After a long day of watching over Manuel, it soon hit afternoon, almost dark. Cradling the boy in your arms, you hummed a song to make him sleep, but it wasn't working. Manuel kept crawling all and around, eventually yelling and blabbering random words as he kept throwing himself to you. It lowkey took you by surprise, since you thought the boy was not used to physical contact but you thought otherwise. Oftentimes, he would kiss you. In the forehead, cheeks, nose. Sometimes you thought that Manuel probably mistook you for his mother, but it was unlikely, Dolores and you looked too different. 

After carrying the boy in your arms and swaying side-to-side, he eventually dozed off to sleep. You sighed in happiness, finally you can get a break. Putting him in the crib and wrapping the blanket around him to keep the child still, you wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead as you slowly opened the door and went down to the kitchen. Dolores was about to come back any time soon, so you waited while munching on an arepa. 

You heard the door click and Casita's tiles shaking loudly. Finally.

"Hola, Dol"  You greeted her. If the afternoon wasn't odd enough, she was acting weird too. Having seen her purse her lips so hard as if she's hiding a laugh, you found it questionable but then shrugged it off. She greeted you back, grabbing a snack like you did.

"Okay, was it just me or did Manuel suddenly get weirdly clingy?" You asked, wiping your cheek still filled with sweat mixed with saliva from the sleeping kid. "I thought you raised him that he doesn't trust strangers that easily. Or did he just magically warm up to me?"

"Huh?" Dolores asked. "I don't understand."

"Manuel? Your quiet kid that oddly kept clinging onto me? I took care of him since lunch like your papi asked me to"

"Y/N," Dolores squeaked with a hint of laughter evident from her shaking shoulders. 

"What?"

"Manuel was with Mariano the entire afternoon." Dolores blurted out, still holding back a laugh. You raised your eyebrow, pointing upstairs. 

"But he was just upstairs? And he was sleeping-" You paused.

You quickly pieced everything together. Dolores giggling, 'Manuel' being too touchy to your liking, the fact that the real Manuel was in fact with Mariano the whole time, the fact that there was a doppelganger, and most especially the fact that there is a certain Madrigal kid that can shapeshift perfectly, 

"Oh god I just babysat Camilo"

—

Quickly, you ran upstairs to the nursery after hearing enough teasing from Dolores who heard everything the entire time. Footsteps getting heavier, you slammed the door open, only to reveal that the crib was now empty. 

"Camilo Madrigal" You muttered under your breath. 

Changing paths, you stormed off to his room, not even bothering to knock. Kicking it open, you were welcomed by a large dome of a yellow blanket. Walking towards it and lifting it off, you found the panicked shapeshifting Madrigal, hastily waving his arms and covering his face.

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT- AAAA" Camilo kept screaming as you chased him around the Casita. He knew it was one of the biggest pranks he's ever done, and you being the most gullible out of all his victims, he was both proud and terrified. 

Running after him around the hallways, you screamed too. "COME BACK HERE YOU B-" You got cut off-

-by Casita who's had enough. Lifting the entire floorboard into wave-like figures, Casita dragged you and Camilo back to his room and slammed the door close. Being in close proximity to him, you gripped on the collar of his top and glared at him in the eyes while he widened his, profusely sweating in his entire face. 

"What kind of sick joke are you playing, Madrigal?" You leaned in closer, squinting your eyes while you observed him being both scared and flustered. You were having fun teasing him at this point, you were just putting an act. 

"I- I- It was a joke!" He rambled, shaking eyes not leaving yours. "And, Dolores had nothing to do with it! I was supposed to tell you but I forgot!"

"Did you really?" You tested him. Letting go of your grip on him, he finally took the chance to look at everything else but you. 

The silence and lack of answer was enough for you to figure everything out. You knew that him being extra clingy wasn't a friendly gesture, and hell, going as far as to shapeshift into his nephew just to hog all your attention? You knew his pranking tendencies for fun, but this wasn't it. He wanted to see something else for this one. 

"You know..." You spoke once more, cutting off the tense atmosphere between you two. "If you wanted to spend an afternoon with me that badly, you could have just asked." 

Camilo finally looked at you, his gaze no longer terrified but nervous. He was blinking repeatedly, thinking of what else to say. 

"I- I couldn't" 

"Aw, come on. You knew me for how many years yet you couldn't even get the nerves to ask me out?" 

"Shut up" Camilo grumbled, gripping the edges of his ruana and fiddled with the material. You took notice, and decided to grab his hands and interlace it with yours, taking him by surprise.

"Just say, 'Y/N, the most perfect flower in this entire Encanto-"

"Yeah nice try plagiarizing Mariano's words" Camilo laughed, slightly flattered that your joke eased the tension for a bit. He was lucky, you knew him that well to help him become more comfortable and he loved that. 

"Okay fine, say 'Y/N, I wanna spend an afternoon with you, as me, Camilo Madrigal" 

"Too formal-" "Stop being too choosy! Do it yourself then, show me what you got"

"Okay" Camilo took a deep and long breath. And like his personality took a 180 degree turn, he suddenly looked flirty and cocky. The sudden switch in his behavior made you more attracted to him for some reason.

"Y/N, you were right, I should have asked when I want to spend an afternoon with you, so let me ask again properly"

"Go on,"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you" Camilo blurted out, eyes staring intensely at yours. Your jaw dropped.

"Nah you're bluffing" You joked, trying out something risky but all the while worth it.

Camilo snickered. "Stop ruining the moment I swear to God-"

You suddenly cut him off by crashing your lips to his. 

Lowkey, you smiled through the kiss when you felt his lips move against yours. Your plan on catching him by surprise definitely worked. Camilo kissed you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer, nearly bumping his torso to yours. You, in return tangled your hands in his curls, lightly raking them after hearing him groan through your lips. You smirked as you deepened the kiss, feeling the heat in your cheeks get even more intense the longer Camilo remains in your grasp. 

Pulling away only due to the lack of breath, both of you gaze at each other and for the first time in ever, not a hint of mischief was in either of your eyes.

"Sorry, what did you say about me ruining the moment?" You asked innocently, battling your eyelashes as he scoffs. 

"Oh, shut up" He mumbled, leaning in once more for a quick peck on your lips. You laughed, grabbing a handful of his hair to pull and kiss him once more. 

taglist: @thegirlwiththebangs, @mirabelleza, @carcat-02, @brushofease, @camilos-luna, @kitasgloves, @ducky-is-dead-inside, @elegantkidfansoul, @moon-cakiie, @ignoremepeople37, @its-mia88, @nerdish-simp, @foreverwriting

thumbnail made by the artists of purrfect tale

#camilo supremacy #camilo madrigal #camilo my beloved #camilo x reader #camilo #camilo madrigal x reader #camilo x female reader #camilo fluff #camilo x you #encanto #camilo imagine #camilo incorrect quotes #camilo encanto #disney encanto #encanto fanfic #encanto x reader #dolores madrigal #felix madrigal #pepa madrigal

[lady-caden]

:)

#sorry ima rant in the tags lol #it just. feels more private ya know? cuz like wayyy less ppl will actually read the tags lol #but yeah dyshopria tw ig? #today waa a good day aside from like. my one friend #like i have this one friend that i have a class with and ya know she knows im trans #but she just gets like? rlly upset that i dont rlly like my body agdgdjsks #she constantly is like 'i dont get y u dont like ur figure until i remember why' and its like...yep yeah #and today she said she was wishing she had my figure cuz i had 'big ass tint waist medium chest' #and this was. right after i told her how much i hated my chest asdfghkl #i just. shes trying to b a good ally but. like. she isnt great with this whole trans thing #she wants to hang out one of these days ill prolly bring it up then cuz even when i say i dont rlly like when ya know she brings it up i #always get interupted by the teacher or someone else cuz. school lol #idk i just. gahhhhh having a body ya know? wish i could just. i dont even know. i cant wait till i get older and can start t and even maybe #one day save up enough 4 top surgery #then one day i call this body home ya know? or actually make it feel that way at least #idk how t chnages fat distribution in like thighs/ass but even if that doesnt change too much ig id b ok with lookin like solid snake lol #also istg i only rlly have skinny jeans and leggings cuz they feel nice and i keep jusy tryin to make myself like how I look till i realize #that how most ppl clock im afab :') #whatever ima just distract myself w/hyperpop #ok rant over ! #idk if ima actually keep this up i judt wanted to write it out ya know? #i use tumblr tags like my own personal journal lmaoo #ok well i hope these tags dont get messed up cuz i dont wanna fix em #also srry 4 still bein inactive #its just cuz im busy as hecc lately #rambles

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

What do you think being child katsuki’s friend/crush would be like behind the scenes? Personally I see it as constant teasing and like pulling of the hair on his part but also some wholesome fun moments like pushing each other into like a stream or something and just splashing one an other or being competitive with the most random things and such

I love how you wrong the angry Pom Pom so I’d love how you’d see his friendship

no wait bc now im thINKING bout it,, rllY thinking about it

-firstly, i agree with everything u have said so far.

-little katsuki would absolUTELY pull ur hair. And not like, playful little teasing tugs either, no, he’s full on yANKING. ofc it hurts, so then u turn around and yell at him, but too bad for u bc that’s what he wanted the entire time. for u to pay attention to him.

-on the stream thing, absolutely. the second that little devil sees even a dROP of water, he’s trying to push u into it. i’m talking puddles, streams, rivers, lakes, even rain runoff from a gutter. doesn’t matter. if he can somehow push u into it, he will. he just thinks it’s funny when ur hair is all wet and u get angry, alright, and that’s the only reason he needs.

-challenges u to races. all the time, over everything. eating? race. tying your shoes? race. brushing your teeth? race. everything is a race with tiny bakugou, and he is determined to win.

-he builds the best forts. he just does. he’ll be like “look at this, i did it. bc i’m the best.” and point his little grubby hands at like, a three-story blanket fort complete with a garage. no one knows how he did it, but he did, and ur the only person he lets in for free. (everyone else has to sacrifice snacks)

-bro he’s a jealous/possessive adult, but holy shit, little katsuki is 100000x worse. if ur his best friend/crush than that means he’ll choose u over every one else, every time, no exceptions; now, that also means he expects you to choose him every time too. will throw an absolute fit if u dont. like, u wanna make more friends?? too bad bc he’s screaming at all of them until they cry and leave both of u alone. pls, i would love to say differently bc it would be -cuter~ but no, he is an absolutely toxic child. he just is.

-he will share his food, but only one piece. and it’ll be the 2nd to last piece so u have to sit and watch him eat the entire bag first. bc he’s a little shit. don’t ask me about this one i just know it okay

-kleptomania. i mean it. if he sees some weird shiny thing he thinks is cool and wants to show u, he’ll just take it. just completely swipe it out from wherever and whomever and somehow get away with it bc he’s a devious, devious genius child. but he’ll just stockpile these little things and throw them at u if he thinks ur upset. like his brain is just a constant loop of “wow, ur sad? what if shove some assorted trash at u? how bout now? wait- ur still sad? why? it’s a gift, and a good one bc i’m the best, so suck it up and be happy.”

-bb katsuki is constantly bragging. just constantly. like, and u can’t even tell him to stop bc he’s not rlly saying anything that isn’t true. he rlly just is stronger and smarter than most other kids. it sucks but he is.

-he is still somehow weirdly attentive?? as a child. like, similar to how he is as a teenager/adult, but be more obvious about it since this is before all that pride and embarrassment forms. so he’ll try his best to take care of u and make sure ur not getting hurt.

-tiny katsuki’s best misguided ~protective~ hits include:

1.) mercilessly targeting other snot-nosed children. pls bc one kid in ur class could throw a miLD insult at u, like “you’re a butthead” or something equally dumb and katsuki will turn around, slow and terrfying like he’s possessed and just ~explode~. lil mans beats the kid into the ground, even before his quirk develops, and then tops it off with a comment like “i bet your mommy doesn’t love you” while the other kid lies bruised and writhing.

2.) property damage. when his quirk does develop and he figures out u like watching his explosions, he’ll just blow things up when ur upset. like, as a way to try and comfort u. now, ofc it works bc what child doesn’t like loud noises, but he gets in big trouble for destroying things. not that it matters, he still keeps doing it. again and again and again.

3.) being an absolute stain on civilized bug society. like, if u don’t like bugs then he’s hunting them down. scouring for them and flipping over logs just to smash all the little fuckers right in front of u. and then saying “ur such a baby, Y/N. Look they’re all dead now so stop crying.”

4.) and finally, yelling at ur parents...... no fr. like, lets say, for example, ur mom is just doing her job, parenting you, right, but all katsuki sees is u crumbling and crying so he’ll just yell right back at her. ur mom will be like “i told you no for a reason, Y/n!” after u get hurt doing something dumb, n katsuki will look her dead in the face and “that’s stupid. ur stupid. stop yelling it makes you look dumb and ugly.” pls pray for him bc mitsuki beats his aSS when she finds out.

-ultimately, tiny bakugou katsuki is a menace. he is a biggest little shit on the face of the planet, okay? but even if he takes great pride in being an absolute holy terror to everyone and everything, he tries to be a little softer for u. maybe. if he feels like it that day.

so in conclusion, good luck charlie🧍‍♀️

—/—

no pls bc i love writing for requests sm!! this was so much fun ty ty!!! also,, deadass never thought much about child katsuki before, surprisingly, but holy shit i think i’m gonna fixate on it for probably forever- like he’s just so funny

hope u enjoyed @onepiece-baby !!!

#bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou headcanons #bakugou hcs

[hongism]

hi caly boo its ur 🌊 anon! i finally finished the most brilliant darkness and oh my lawd i’m in spain without the s. to put it shortly: U DID NOT DISAPPOINT BESTIE, and it seems unreal that u and ur mind and this fic even exists bc every moment is just polished to perfection, while simultaneously every character is polished to a sort of imperfect perfection(?). i have so many questions and things to say idek where to start, and tho im not good with words and even worse at deciphering hidden meanings, here are just some of my thoughts that i remember from the story.

hello my dear!!! eee im gonna answer separately since i think i’ll be very long-winded as usual but first of all thank you so much :(( this fic is actually very full of subliminal messages and hidden nuances that are weaved throughout which i think could be quite confusing so i apologize for that! if i had managed my time better, i would have adjusted when i started the fic to account for managing those aspects of the fic but alas i’m terrible at time management and i suck so. anyways.

first of all, ngl halfway into the story i lowkey forgot this was a wooyoung fic bc SANNN and also bc wooyoung appeared like 3 times lol. even after it finishing all that, i still had my doubts as to why this is a wooyoung fic, or more like why is san this significant in a wooyoung fic. im still a bit slow on these pls forgive me and im just curious why u made it like that.

i think yeah the most interesting thing about this fic is the emphasis on san over wooyoung. and when looking over it yeah i could have switched san and wooyoung’s characters and called it a day, but wooyoung really in my mind acts as the integral turning point for decisions made in the story. 

the goal with the fic wasn’t really to be hyperfocused on the pairing itself, but rather the emotions and thought processes of each character (aside from wooyoung). wooyoung was kept intentionally mysterious and a bit set apart from the rest of the fic because his role in story was moreso an abstract of hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home. wooyoung’s character appeared in times where y/n was struggling with the thought of home or adjusting to the new changes in her life! wooyoung’s pairing itself was actually intended to be solely platonic at first, but as the story went on i thought having mc develop feelings for him added another turning point in the fic!

moving on, the second biggest question i had is the whole hestia!wooyoung and cafe aurora situation. i did a bit of reading on hestia and only found out that she was the goddess of hearth, which might explain the fireplace and the kind of homey feeling to the cafe. and ‘cafe aurora not really existing to most’ part, which was already hinted at wooyoung randomly disappearing, mc never seeing the cafe before or wooyoung only bringing people he wants into it. i get that him inviting mc must suggest her significance to him, but why was he so adamant about his friends not mentioning him or the cafe to mc before that? wooyoung is quite a mysterious character i think, and given that this fic is supposed to be about him, it’s a bit odd that there’s still so many things left unknown, but its kinda cool that way nonetheless and im guessing u would also like to explain that further outside of the story too.

i think my biggest regret about this fic is the fucking summary.... i wrote that summary well before i even started writing the fic thinking it would go in that direction but it didn’t. and since this fic was for a collab, i left the summary as is because i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out a better one. but i’m trying to figure out a better one. but i really fucking hate the current summary because it’s not at all what the fic is truly about and i hate it.

however, i don’t hate the fic itself, and the reason why i don’t is because i got to play with both my writing style and how i displayed the story. for this collab we were asked to pick a greek god and one of the seven deadly sins, and i selected hestia and sloth. and initially i had intended to have sloth be represented by the reader’s depression, and wooyoung be a more ‘real’ depiction of hestia. i shifted gears very early on in the fic but what it became is moreso abstract realizations in the characters.

san’s character is meant to be this idea of sloth, and it’s mentioned several times that he doesn’t want to move forward, he wants to go slow, he wants to stop moving so fast through life, and those things point to him being a depiction of sloth

wooyoung’s was harder to encapsulate in a more abstract way but you hit the nail on the head really with the homey feeling of the cafe. beyond that, mc talks about just naturally feeling at ease and comfortable with how things are with wooyoung and being around him, and he takes up this role of being the likeable, warm, cozy, comforting character. it all comes to a head in the last scene where he brings both y/n and san into the cafe.

and again wooyoung’s character is meant to be most mysterious and abstract, but if i had had more time to fully flesh out the fic, i think i would have liked to touch more on him. at the same time however i left it more open-ended and open to interpretation. the significance in him inviting mc in and not being mentioned by the others sooner is twofold. one; the others never really had any reason whatsoever to mention wooyoung. he was a friend outside the circle who never joined in with them when mc was around. i personally in my own friendships don’t mention friends outside the circle by name or anything, just kinda vaguely talking about them unless im certain the people know who this person is. the concept of wooyoung having to invite mc in was more nuanced and vague as well, intentionally so, but that was moreso meant to represent this idea of ‘you can’t make a home somewhere where you aren’t invited’ so y/n couldn’t fully make a home of the place she was in without being invited in and welcomed in, but again that’s something i wish i had more time to fully flesh out.

the hongjoong speech about love (and also the interaction with seonghwa after that) deserves a standing ovation of its own 👏 unfortunately, or not, im not actually going through the emotional turmoil regarding love the same way as hj or mc to be able to fully relate to his words, but the whole ‘if you dont love what u see in the mirror then u dont love it’ mentality really hit me hard, and i’d like to hang onto that when i make decisions in the future haha thank you wise caly! seonghwa and hongjoong’s story is also beautiful, and just like mc said, the more i look at it the more it hurts :’)

the hongjoong speech about love was meant to be something very jaded and specific to his worldview. it actually isn’t wholly how i view love personally, but it was a perfect description to how both he and y/n perceived the love in their own lives. mostly thanks to their own emotional turmoils. the mentality of the mirror quote is something that i think i also struggle with, which is why i included it. it’s hard to do, but even in friendships, i think it’s necessarily to stop and look at the person you were before this relationship and then the person during this relationship. if you don’t love the one you are now, then maybe it’s a sign to reflect and see the bigger picture, so that was a lil reminder to myself and i’m glad it touched you as well!!!

“do you love him, or do you love the idea of being in love with him?” - haha i see what u did there (or maybe i didnt please dont laugh at me if i didnt). its still so good everytime i see it bc i keep finding myself loving just the idea of things time and time again even when this makes total sense to me oof :/

heh yeah again with the more abstract concepts this one was more direct and ‘cliche’ but i fully wanted that cliche in the fic because i thought it suited the situation where mc was constantly struggling with a version of san that she thought she loved vs the version of san she got every time they were together

despite how enlightened she seems to be, mc still made the same choices, and i wanna smack her for it and pat her back at the same time. and maybe also bc of the fact that she feels so differently for the two men that i feel like no ending could really justify her decision, so ending in the vague is probably the best. your ending might kind of allude to someone more than the other already, and tho i still don’t think he’s the best one for her based on just my pov on love, i kinda agree with you. but again, this raises the question of, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic?

and yeah the whole knife in the chest at the end of it all is that she was still too scared to face the music so to speak. but really i would say she made the same choices up until the conversation on the balcony with san. and you’re absolutely right, the reason i chose the ending the way i did was because either way, there’s no justification. and actually although it might seems like i was alluding to someone specific, san being in the cafe at the very end was moreso to represent that as much as they fought, he still very much loved her and wanted to be loved by her. it was kinda an open casket ending there were no nails in the coffin, the choice between wooyoung and san still stands and an argument could be made for either of them! i think this is a fic that i could see myself revisiting one day with two endings - one for san, and one for wooyoung.

something i didn’t mention earlier about wooyoung’s character being left intentionally mysterious was that he was representing a new and budding love. the honeymoon phase where you’re falling for someone you don’t even really know. you are the reader aren’t meant to really know who wooyoung is because of that beyond what you read about him, so his past and such was left out intentionally to represent that idea of ‘hey wow im in love with a stranger!’ whereas san was this gritty love that’s bad for you. and there are pros and cons to each just as with anything!!

so,,,, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic? well i picked wooyoung for my collab so he was one of the main focuses of the fic regardless of which direction i took with it. as for why wooyoung wasn’t more forward, i already answered that but !!! i view it as both a wooyoung fic and a san fic. both are highlighted characters with main pairing roles!

i literally just woke up to write this and am going back to sleep ahaha so i apologize if this makes no sense. i somehow felt like i’ve read so much yet so little at the same time, maybe bc there are still so many things i havent fully made sense of, and that’s where i hope you come in and enlighten me. i still stand by my word that this fic deserves so much more recognition despite the lack of explicit smut bc of how much more you’ve explored through character building. love you caly and thank u for working so hard <3 — 🌊

no worries my beloved i hope you go back to sleep and get lots and lots of rest!! and i hope my response helps enlighten the not so clear things as well dgjdklfg but really thank you so much. it was a long fic and hard to get through at times, but as a whole, i’m proud of it and what i created, so thank you for recognizing my efforts and appreciating them 🥺

#🌊 anon #fic; the most brilliant darkness

[peter-parkourwrites]

Being Steve Rogers Daughter would Include...

so uh my laptop is broken,, hopefully i can fix it tomorrow so i can’t upload any fics rn but until then heres this, idk where it came from honestly i’m tired and stressed

- SO

- steve was so fucking confused on how to raise a kid

- “does she have an off button?”

- “this dang diaper isn’t staying on!”

- “is she breathing? i don’t think shes breathing?” he say, a worried look on his face as you slept soundly in your crib

- nat and bucky would have to drag him out of the room so you could sleep in peace

- when you took your first steps he was over the moon!

- he told EVERYONE he even called fury to tell him

- fury hung up on him

- your first word was ‘shield’

- he cried

- and when you said ‘da’ he cried

- when you’re a teenager, he is so overprotective it’s sickening

- “where are you going?”

- “who’s going to be there?”

- “i should have FRIDAY run a background check”

- “dad you can’t even figure out how to tell her to turn the microwave on, much less run a damn background check.”

- “don’t sass me young lady, do you know who i am?”

- “yes star spangled man with a plan, i do now can i just leave please!”

- you lived w/ him at the tower

- tony basically spoiling you

- “dont tell your dad”

- nat would train you

- “dont tell your dad”

- bucky would tell you stories about pre-serum steve

- “dont tell your dad”

- so basically,, steve cant know anything

- you, wanda, and nat would have girls nights

- you’d gossip

- do each others hair and watch movies

- while also raiding tonys pantry

- you meet peter and instantly click

- then you meet the rest of his friends

- they sleep over one night and you guys play truth or dare

- “i dare (y/n) to eat cereal from her dads shield.”

- everyone laughs and you shrug

- “okay”

- so you walk down and begin the process of making your cereal

- (CEREAL BEFORE MILK U COWARDS)

- you’re about to take the first bite when ur dad walks in

- “hey babydoll, have you seen my- oh... what are you doing stop!”

- “bold of you to assume i’ve never done this before old man.”

- steve just sighs and walks out

- he made you clean it the next day

- anytime a boy is going to be where you’re going he’s ready to suit up and kick ass

- “dad it’s literally just peter!”

- “yes but he could try to kiss you, and we certainly don’t want that. you know-”

- “FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT WOULD BE SO BAD ABOUT THAT”

- peter is literally right behind you

- “language!”

- “steve shut up and let her have fun. go on kiddo.”

- “cool! thanks uncle bucky!”

- bucky was your partner in crime

- always picking on your dad together

- and whenever anyone said anything bad abt bucky you’d flip

- “stfu you ugly rat he’s a god among men and i’ll punch you”

- trying to show your dad more main stream music

- “what is this? they’re just screaming (y/n) how can you like this?”

- “it’s not screaming, its all time low. how dare you disrespect them like that”

- cooking with him

- you guys bake CONSTANTLY

- he’s bad at it sorta but you help

- “dad no you don’t leave the shell in, i get youre a super solider and it won’t affect you but i’d rather not die”

- “you can’t die from an eggshell sweetheart.”

- “ohmygod”

- you’d end up smearing flour all over his apron

- he’d just scowl before dumping flour on your head

- the kitchen would be covered in flour within the hour

- “dad! stop!” you would yell as he attempted to smear brownie mix on your cheek

- when their done being made and cooled, you curl up on the couch and watch a movie, snacking on the baked goods

- it’d probably be one of the ones tony said he had to catch up on

- like back to the future, phsyco, the breakfast club, and the outsiders

- also game of thrones, bucky would join for that

#avengers x reader #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes #peter parker #avengers x teen!reader #tony stark #steve rogers x daughter!reader #avengers headcanon

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Dear Jungkook (Jungkook x You) // Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

Summary : (I suck in doing summary, so yeah)

Jungkook, Y/N and Jae Eun are the best of friends. While Y/N is in love with Jungkook ever since she can remember, Jungkook founds himself falling in love with her cousin, Jae Eun when Y/N introduces them a year later.When both Y/N and Jae Eun move to the States, Jungkook tried to keep in contact by emailing Jae Eun. As the emails grew constant, Jungkook is sure he’s falling more in love with the Jae Eun that he got to know through their emails.Little did he know that all these while, Y/N is the one who has been emailing him back.

Y/N and Jae Eun has been living in the States for almost seven years now. Jae Eun has successfully become the queen bee that she always wanted, with her own little clique who worships her. Y/N has grown into her looks and self confident, turning her into a beautiful young lady, no longer akward and reserved,  who is easily loved by everyone she meets. She's kind, friendly and intelligent. The two cousins might seem like a polar opposite but despite what people might think, they are the best of friends.

"Yah, Y/N, is this really Jungkook?" Jae Eun stormed into Y/N's room one day during one her lazy days spend in bed, shoving her iphone right in Y/N's face. Y/N squint her eyes and saw an article about Bangtan, the current hit idol group in K-pop, attached with a picture of Jungkook and the rest of his members right in the center of it. Y/N knows everything there is to know about this particular group. Jungkook had mention on more than several occssions about his group and his members antics in their still on going emails and online chats.

"Ye...yes," Y/N looked up to see Jae Eun smiling with glee. She can sense something bad is going to happen. Its been seven years since Jungkook's name even crossed Jae Eun's mind, why is she asking about him this time?

"You are still keeping in touch with him right? Still emailing him?" Y/N nodded and earn a chuckle from Jae Min as she plopped down beside her on the bed.

"I cant believe it has been seven years and you are still emailing him! How do you even find time for that?" Jae Min questioned and scoot in closer beside Y/N. "How come you didnt tell me that he has become this hot shot celebrity? And look at him, he is really  hot " Jae Eun tapped her fingers on Jungkook's smirking face on her phone. Y/N just keep her mouth shut, not knowing what to say. She looked at the photo, yes Jungkook is handsome. Very much so, but that is nothing compared to his mind and the way he thinks that Y/N adore so much. She look over at Jae Eun who is gawking at the photo, mentioning something about how cute the rest of the other members are too. Y/N didnt think Jae Eun even remember who Jungkook is anymore. "Anyway, since we are going back home soon, I might as well continue to email him, dont you think? It will be weird when we meet him again and I look lost," Jae Eun ponders, more to herself than directing the question to Y/N. "He still has the hots for me right?" Y/N nodded her head when Jae Eun looks straight to her face. Its true, despite being in an internationally famed idol grouo, Jungkook still seem to be very much in love with Jae Eun. At least it seems like it in the way he write the emails to Y/N. Sometimes it breaks Y/N's heart knowing that all his sweet words are meant for Jae Eun, and not for her, although she is the one who has been telling him things and sharing her own experiences all this while.  "You can stop helping me now. Thanks for your help though," Jae Min who was busy scrolling through her phone didnt even notice the change in Y/N's face. Y/N just sigh, knowing there's nothing she can do. After all, Jungkook thought he is emailing Jae Eun and he is in love with Jae Eun.

Y/N's father had mentioned that they will going back home in about a week's time for the summer. They will be spending the whole season back at home and later, both Y/N and Jae Eun can freely decide if they want to come back to the States continue to theur studies or just permanently stay home. Since the business deal that he had come there for went through, there will be a lot of back and forth trip to the States so he figured its fine if Jae Eun or Y/N decided to stay there instead of their hometown. Y/N's father is never one to forced anything onto his children and always gives them options to choose from. Y/N is both nervous and excited to come back to her beloved hometown to the point she cant get a goodnight sleep for about a week before they did. The place where she spend all her childhood and created amazing memories. The place where her mother is born and buried. Where her parents fell in love. The place where she herself fell in love.

Apparently, seven years did nothing to change her heart. Boys come and go during her years in the States, trying to win her heart, she even go out with a few of them, trying her best to move on but nothing ever worked out. No one ever succeed in taking Jungkook's place. Maybe keeping constant communication with someone you want to get over is not a good idea.

It's true that she is still emailing him even after seven years. Jungkook was so excited when she first responded, and since Jae Eun didnt show any interest to actually even open her email up to this very day, Y/N just kept on replying. And soon the lies has gotten too deep and to big for her to stop. Their friendship had gotten so real, its not possible for her to just cut him off anymore. As time goes by, her conversations with Jungkook turns more honest, and she become more of herself and less pretending to be Jae Eun. They even do more than just emailing,  chatting on the messenger when they both have the free time.

Her emails with Jungkook are the highlights of her day. Jungkook, thinking that its Jae Eun who he's having all this meaningful conversation with, shares everything. His struggles as a trainee, his first performance, concert, tour, his favorite band, his daily activities, everything. Jungkook has constantly asked for a video call, or maybe a photo, wanting to put a face to the person he's been talking to. Y/N, trying her best to dodge the truth, always send him a photo of both herself and Jae Eun together and decline every video call that he made, saying that she's too shy. She make a silent pact to herself that one day she will reveal herself to Jungkook. Y/N guess she will never get the chance to tell him who she really is now since Jae Eun already told her that she will be emailing him herself until they get home. Y/N sat in front of her laptop, take a deep breath and open her chat to see if Jungkook is online. Fortunately, he is. She poised her fingers on the keyboard, taking a deep  breath before she starts her chat with Jungkook, for one last time.

Y/N: Dear Jungkook,

JK: Hahaha. Why do you always start off your emails and chat that way? But its cute. I like it

Y/N: Hahaha. Fine. Hey!

JK: Heyyy! Why are you on9? Isnt it late out there?

Y/N: yeah... Y/N: cant sleep. Y/N: and since ur on9, i want to tell u sumting

JK: wat is it?

Y/N: tq for still keeping in touch with me all these years. Ur emails and stories always made my day Y/N: I enjoy everything that we talked about. And I enjoy getting to know more about you Y/N: I'm glad our friendship didnt wilt just bcs we are far away from each other

JK: .... JK: I had fun talking to you too Jae Eun. JK: U know u r the highlight of my day. No matter how busy I am, I always look 4ward 2 ur reply JK: but... JK: why does it sounds like u r saying goodbye?

Y/N: :) Y/N: i gtg now. Need some zzzz Y/N: gdnite jungkook

Y/N slammed her MacBook shut without waiting for Jungkook's reply. She can already feel tears forming in her eyes but remind herself that there's no point in crying. She's not losing anything. Jungkook was never hers to begin with. This is just a favor for Jae Eun. Seven years might be a long time. One would think its long enough for maybe even Jungkook to fall in love with her, but during all those seven years, Jungkook's heart had always been Jae Eun's. She already know this very fact seven years ago when she started this whole mess, and now that her heart has fallen more deeply in love with Jungkook, she knows there is no one to blame but herself.

/////

After hours of flying, Y/N and Jae Eun finally landed back home. Jae Eun puts on her expensive sunglasses and let the assistants wheeled her numerous amounts of Louis Vuitton luggage while linking her arms with Y/N. Y/N just laugh at her cousin's antics and use her free hand to wheel her own single luggage. She only brought over the neccesities. Who needs a thousand pairs of heels? After all, this is home. She still has some things left in her old room, and knowing Jae Eun, she will probably dragged her for another shopping trip. Yet still, Jae Eun insisted to bring all the latest designer items that she owns, just in case she might need it.

"I'm a model, remember? I have to look good!" she reminded Y/N of the fact. The truth is, Jae Eun has only been doing some small scale modelling in the States and that is all there is, but to her, its a stepping stone to be the next Gigi Hadid. Y/N just chuckle at her bold statement. "And also, the future girlfriend of idol superstar Jeon Jungkook!"  Y/N's heart sank when Jae Eun mentioned his name. She had been restless during the whole flight. Will Jungkook be happy to see her? Does Jungkook think that she purposely stop keeping in touch with him? Will her heart be okay to see the boy she loves after seven whole years? Worse, can she take it when Jungkook dont even know he's been talking to her all this while?

It is a fact that Jungkook still very much likes Jae Eun. At least according to his emails, he still does. "I read some of the emails you guys exchanged. You know, to fill me in. But I skipped all the boring part! And boy, there were  a lot!" she laughs. "But it sure seems like he's still into me," Jae Eun turn to look at Y/N when she didnt answer. "Right Y/N?" Jae Eun knows she had asked this same question before but she needs to really make sure.

"Y..yeah. He does,"

"Oh well. I cant believe he actually think its really me who's replying all those boring emails,"

"Do you...do you even really like him Jae Eun?" Y/N finally finds the courage to ask. Sometimes its ridiculous how oblivious Jae Eun is to the rest of the world. She cant even see how much her own cousin, her best friend is in love with the boy she's planning to turn into her boyfriend

"Well, now that he's a famous celebrity, I sure do!" she said, not even a trace of guilt or shame in her voice. "Oh look we are here!"

///////

Jungkook is puzzled by his last chat with Jae Eun. She sounded cold and she really sounded like she's saying goodbye. He waited a couple of days to see if she will be online again, but she didnt, so he decided to write another email.

Hey Jae Eun,

What happened during our last chat? Why do I feel like you are saying goodbye? Did anything happen? And why aren't you online for the last few days?

Jungkook

Miraculously, Jungkook didnt have to wait long as he received a reply the next morning.

Hey Kookie!

Nothing happen! Oh I have great news. I'm going to come back home in a few days time!

And my uncle is throwing a homecoming party for us, and of course, you are invited! Make sure to wear something nice you hottie. I wsnt to show off my handsome boyfriend to everyone *wink*

Love, Jae Eun

Jungkook is weirded out by the email. Kookie? Love? Wear something hot? Hottie?? Since when does Jae Eun ever say these kind of things. Plus, her emails always starts with Dear Jungkook, no matter how many times he tease her about it. And her boyfriend? Yes, Jungkook did hinted various of times that he wants ti be more than friends and all these while Jae Eun always dodge the question or laugh it off.  He doesnt mind really, he finds it cute and if Jae Eun is finally willing to call him her boyfriend, he is more than happy to be one. So he just shrugged it off, thinking maybe Jae Eun is just excited to come back home and start thinking about the party where he can see the love of his life again.

He made a promised to himself to finally make Jae Eun his the next time he see her again.

When he first met Jae Eun, he admitted that he's attracted to her by her beauty. He knows that Jae Eun never did give him the time of the day but his competitiveness makes him want to fight for Jae Eun's attention.  He spend less time with Y/N in order to achieve his mission, a fact that he knows but he always convinced himself that he will find the time for her later. But that time never comes and the next thing he knows, both Y/N and Jae Eun are leaving for the States. To ensure that he wont regret his decision of neglecting his best friend in order to pursue Jae Eun, he tried to keep contact by emailing her. It suprise him that she actually replied and as he slowly gets to know her better through their constant chats and emails, he finds himself falling more and more in love with the girl behind the screen. He is sure its for real this time, and not because of her beauty like he did years ago. Her thoughts on life, the way she thinks, every story that she tells him, it just makes him find her more interesting.

So he told himself that the next time he saw her, he will make sure she will belong to him. Jungkook did think about Y/N some times. He even told Jae Eun through his emails to ask Y/N to chat him up, he even emailed her once, but she never did respond. Jungkook grew angry at Y/N for disposing their friendship just like that and decide to just move on from her. If Y/N can easily forget about him, then he can definitely do the same to her.

/////

As expected of the Jang Empire, the homecoming party is luxurious. Live band, free flow of champagne, guest dressed in their perfect outfits. Jungkook even saw some other idols and celebrities at the party. Jungkook feels glad that he brought Taehyung and Jimin with him, or else he would have been akward standing alone surrounded by all these guests that he finds to be very intimidating. He akwardly stand around the party, trying to find the face that he had longed to see. Jimin and Taehyung are already off on the dancefloor, doing silly dances with some girl they just met. Jungkook just waved them off when the two boys asked him to joined them on the dancefloor, too nervous and eyes too busy searching for Jae Eun. He can feel girls are checking hin out, especially with his two handsome hyungs by his side, but no one else matter other than Jae Eun. Seven years he had stayed loyal to the same girl, and he can finally see her, smell her, touch her, tonight.

About 30 minutes into the party, Jungkook finally spotted Jae Eun walking down the main stairs into the party. She looks absolutely gorgeous in her red dress and perfect hair. Jungkook felt his breath has been taken away and a large smile crept up his face. A sense of pride start to consume him at the thought that the beautiful girl everyone is looking at belongs to him.

"Woah, who's that?" Jungkook look to his hyung who is staring at the same spot he was looking earlier. Irritation crept into him as he assumed they are talking about Jae Eun. His Jae Eun.

"God, look at her. I've never seen anyone looked so good in such a simple dress before," Taehyung still have his mouth opened. Simple dress?  Jae Eun's dress is anything but simple with its deep red hue, slits on both sides and covered almost entirely in Swavorski diamonds. Then who are they talking about? Jungkook whipped his head up to where his hyung is looking at and is greeted with the sight of a girl behind Jae Eun. The girl is wearing a plain nude knee length coloured dress with the lightest makeup and her long black hair is styled in a messy updo. His hyungs were right, she is gorgeous. The moment she smile to someone in the crowd, Jungkook's heart starts to race crazily and a sense of familiarity hit him. Its the same smile that used to give him butterflies when he was eight, when she shoved him her extra pair of Converse and telling him not to cry anymore. The same smile that he didnt realize he had miss before tonight.

"Y...Y/N?"

#bts #bts jungkook #bts scenario #bts fiction #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan seonyeondan #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff

[bibbleboo]

not to alarm anyone im prob fine cuz lbr if im still here by now im prob never gonna do it but ohhh4hjh5j4hj54 the s/ui thoughts lately lads. the ‘literally no aspect of existing in any way in this universe feels worth it even a little bit’ thoughts. ive been in this depression for like prob over a year now btw its just coming in big up and down waves and lately its been . real bad. mostly bc i didnt wanna bring it up bc its one of those 'i have no way out of this situation so whining abt its gonna make me feel guilty and hopeless and wont improve my state of mind in the slightest so why bother' but. might as well idk

i take care of my sisters kids like a literal fuckin cinderella from the minute i wake up (8 ish) till 2 am. this was not our plan. when i moved in i was supposed to pay for my share of bills and my own food and work on learning adult shit and how to take care of myself. instead im doing genuinely 50% or . frnakly M O R E of the hands on caretaker work. often by myself while she smokes weed and hangs out. im not joking when i say i have almost no free time. the free time i get is too unpredictable to make productive. its nearly 6 am rn as i type this. i get 3-5 hours of sleep a night, bc she wakes me up early, and goes to bed late, and if i have anything i need to do, i have to stay up a few hours later than her. she wittled my boundaries into this like everybody in my life always does when they need shit from me. and this means i cant take care of myself bc im disabled and like. im not allowed to be. nobody can do it anymore ig so im tryna figure out how or if i can take care of myself but. i have been begging to be given even just the opportunity for independence for Y E AR S but im constantly roped into filling other family members needs instead. so i quite fucking literally do not have MOMENTS of time to work on this. im stagnated, i was never given the chance to take care of myself bc i was stuck in this, so. she still has to do (most of) shit stuff like drive me around and cook dinner and clean and call my drs and get groceries and bro like i KNOW thats hard. but ive expressed before, 'either u take care of ur own kids and i fill my responsibilities so we’re both just taking care of our own shit we should already take care of, or it stays the same swinging pendulum bc i literally dont have the capacity to balance this'. 

ive been running on fucking empty for years dude. i didnt know it was POSSIBLE to feel This exhausted and hollowed and drained. its pure misery. i feel like my spirit is being siphoned. i feel like nothing anymore. im running on fumes and have been for years ive BEGGED all of my family all thsi time please fucking let me catch my breath i literally truly cannot do this. and im told im in debt and have to for having needs. im always gonna be in debt. im not allowed to ask for more than i can give back so if i cant manage that too bad so sad. so im. literally stuck in this hopeless fucking cycle of being needy and burning ymself out from guilt. 

and we’ve talked abt it before like im already bitter abt this shit right and she KNOWS its killing me. but. the other day . i got so sick from bronchitis i had to go to the er and spent days doing almost nothing but sleeping and coughing right. i was so fucking sick i felt like i could pass out and i couldnt breathe. i was no exaggeration sickest id been since i had swine flu. and she . told me i had to watch her kids so she could go pick up my antibiotic. which i understand but she got mad when at first i said i didnt know if i could. and i cant. help that. but the next morning i had the strength . so i sat there with the kids barely holding on while she got them. she came back. i went to go back to bed. she literally tried to force her kid into my hands dude. i put my foot down bc she outright only asked for me to do that until she got back and also why would she expect. a sick person whos Medicine shes going to pick up would be in the state to take care of her children immediately after. i legit couldnt do that. and then she threw the biggest text tantrum at me over it. saying 'adults still have to do things when theyre sick' and how i dont do enough and she said it was like having a third child and it. ngl kinda broke me a little like lmao ! girl ive been SLAVING FOR YOUUU PPL THAT I TELL ABT THIS SITUATION THINK UR A FUCKING >>>JOKE<<<< THE WAY U GOT ME PICKING UP UR SLACK and ur telling me im over here literally more worn out and broken than i thought was possible for a human being and its. nowhere near enough for you. like i thought this was unbalanced but in a different way YOU actually think it skews to YOUR side..... bro is it ever gonna be enough then lmao?? am i ever gonna be allowed to live debt free???

its just. to realize im over here grinding myself into dust when truly nobody is going to care. theres never gonna be a moment where they sit back and realize what ive sacrificed, literally all the health i have in me short of dying, all the spirit i have, im utterly broken inside and out just so i didnt have to see them suffer. and they got what they wanted so they hardly care. i mean shes so used to this, she felt ENTITLED to my help with it. she literally just automatically views these kids as partly my responsibility...... i cried all fucking day abt that dude. im trying so hard to live a happy life where i take care of myself, am not a burden, and not a slave either. why. is this my life. literally what did i do WRONG. to be constantly treated this way over and over and over again. why am i so irresistible to take advantage of why am i in this cycle how do i get out of it why is every choice too hard will i literally Ever find happiness in this like. doom! dread! i exist to be used abused and losed ! one day ill be homeless and wont know how to cope bc i was too busy fixing everybody else and i wont know how to maintain myself bc i wasnt allowed to learn !! life is a prison a nd idk how to do it anymore!! oh and ofc not to mention, i literally love these kids more than anything else and despite the suffering theyre fullstop the only thing keeping me alive, and i think that Would be the thing to legit make me k/ms if i couldnt see them ever again no way around it id never get through that so. that also has me stuck. lmfao. tldr; life sucks. pain. misery even

#neg/// #tw sui ment/ // #d//on.t.r e/blo/.g #does medicaid cover lobotomies #vent/ // #long post/ // #might delete later

[flowerconcept-blog]

boyfriend!jae

you work as a staff member at after school club! your job is basically to make sure everyone on set has what they needs! it's not a particularly exciting job and you're sort of a glorified intern, but it pays well enough

and your dream is to be a producer one day! you got a degree in media studies w/ a concentration on production but you have to smart small so..... here you are at asc

when you first started the job you were really nervous, but pretty soon you hit it off with jimin because you were the youngest two people on set and life got easier after that!!!!

then jae started as a mc and…….. honestly he really intimidated you

not because he was rude but because you found him really really really cute and funny and obviously it was a bad idea to have a crush on a kpop idol, even one as laid back as jae

and every time you interact with him, even if it’s just for a second you feel your heart racing like you’re a high schooler again and you’re like….. y/n….. do NOT like park jaehyung. do NOT!!!!!!! he may be tall and adorable and dreamy but you CANNOT like him

because you are…… kind of an awkward person….. your solution to this is to avoid him as much as possible

which you figure will go unnoticed as long as you still do your job!! there are so many staff members that jae would never notice that one of them … never talks to him! right?????

wrong!!!! jae totally notices that you are doing The Absolute Most to avoid talking to him :”( because you’re the cutest staff member and he really likes watching you joke with jimin and kevin and he’s like…..why not me :(

you: *roasts jimin* jae: god i wish that were me

he starts to ask for random things just so you have to interact with him…… he asks you for water every 3 minutes and ends up having to go to the bathroom all the time and everyones like ???? stop drinking water and jae’s like I CAN’T

except the whole time he doesn’t even realize he’s got a big fat crush on you, he’s just like i just want to be friends! i just think they’re cool!

jimin is [detective emoji] totally aware of the situation because watching you guys be around each other is painful so she cooks up a plan with a bunch of the other younger asc staff members who are also tired of your crushes

so you all go out to karaoke and jimin dares jae to take a bunch of shots and of course he does it. and u think sober jae has no filter? meet drunk jae, the biggest loudest mess of all time

you can kinda see how it goes from there but by the end of the night you’re pretty tipsy too and the two of you are flirting heavily and you do a bad duet and everyone is like…...could the romantic nd sexual tension BE more obvious????? (no)

nothing happens that night but once the two of you have gotten over your awkwardness thru your drunk karaoke, you start to hang out more and more and flirt more and more, going out for drinks after shooting and texting constantly and just being cute

jae is really bad with like……….corny romance and he doesn’t know how to tell you he genuinely likes you but it’s pretty clear that you two are into each other, and one day you’re making out with park jaehyung in your apartment after an intense mario kart game

after that you two make out every time you hang out! and it’s honestly perfect

you never actually clarify your relationship until like a month later jae calls you his s/o and you’re like “oh so you’re my bf?” and he’s like OBVIOUSLY WHO ELSE ARE YOU CALLING BOYFRIEND

once you get that out of the way………...jae gets increasingly cheesy throughout your relationship but acts like he’s totally not cheesy at all

you start bringing him coffee and snacks to filming because you know he forgets to eat sometimes and jimin and kevin go “awwwww” and jae is like damn right we’re cute….. and ur like wtf because if you call him cute he’s up in arms immediately

buys you matching couple shoes and ur all “jae that’s so sweet!!!!!” and he’s like “they aren’t the same size so they aren’t technically matching don’t think i like you or anything” (you: “jae we had sex yesterday” jae: “BUT I DONT LIKE YOU THO”)

gives you his jacket when you say you’re cold but then complains about being cold….and then when you roll your eyes and tell him he can have his jacket back he’s like “no way”

sneaks some of his hoodies into your apartment so he can see you wear them and it’s so sweet that you don’t call him out for once

LOVES when you laugh at his jokes it gives him such a power rush but he also just wants you to think he’s funny

you have a bunch of ugly pics/memes of him saved and he has a bunch of ugly pics of you saved and it’s a running competition to get the Ugliest Pic Possible of the other

the two of you go to karaoke a lot and get drunk and jae always plays day6 songs if they have it and makes you sing along with him and it’s goofy and you end up kissing with be lazy playing in the bg

also really loves when you come to concerts and seeing you in the crowd singing+dancing along because he’s got his bandmates who he loves….his music who he loves…. you who he loves…. it’s just amazing for him

the most annoying asshole boyfriend who is sooooooo clingy when you’re at his dorm or at your apartment, always cuddling you even when you want to make dinner or something and then pretends you started it

in public you’re a little more lowkey (especially because he’s famous lmao) but he does like holding your hand when he can

u guys roast wonpil together :’) and sungjin :’) and dowoon :’) and brian :’) you have never in your life called brian youngk and jae is SO proud of you for that

calls you “babe” super naturally and likes when you call him babe as well, but will cringe if you use almost any other pet names….. angel? no. sweetheart? no way would he be caught dead calling u that

even though he says he “””doesn’t really like you””” and roasts you all the time (you roast him back of course), if he realizes you aren’t in the mood for joking around he turns on his Caring Boyfriend Mode

Caring Boyfriend Jae wraps you up in blankets and turns on your favorite movie and makes you tea and kisses your forehead and just makes sure you’re okay…….is super sweet basically

will support you to the end of the world and you’re the same w/ him

he’s the softest when you’re going to sleep together, really really really loves hearing you breathing next to him and waking up to your sleep mussed hair because it feels so intimate and he doesn’t have to joke around or anything, he can just be with someone he loves and who loves him back

writes songs about you that are super corny and would never ever ever let the boys see them but he plays u one for your anniversary and you cry probably and he’s like i know my voice is beautiful but usually people don’t cry and you’re like SHUT up I LOVE YOU

the two of you eating pizza on the couch and kissing and jae laughing and saying “babe you taste like pizza” and you laughing and being like “you do too idiot” and then kiss again

#day6 scenarios #day6 #jae scenario #jae #park jaehyung #an anon a while ago req'd something with jae+asc so this is the result! #i hate jae but i love jae....yknow? #this im !!! kind of proud of!!!!! hope y'all like it!!!!! #💌 #long post #ig?

[neworld17-blog]

fucktheworld

all i want to do is be happy but no one seems to give a fuck. i'm always the problem. parents don't know me. i'm fake. i don't even know who i am. i can't even try to fit in right. i'm not pretty. smart. funny. nice. i'm actually an awful person. i just need help. but there's no one to help me. parents won't listen. my one friend thinks it's stupid. idk what my other friends intentions are or if we're even friends. how do i get out? out of this fucking nonsense it's fucking retarded. i need some peace but i can't find it. things get better? ya... for a little while and then it came crashing down again. it started again. you know those things that sting when u shower and try to clean off your shame and guilt. i need one person. just one fucking person who is truly there for me. i can't even do that for myself. IM A FUCK UP. i didn't want to believe it but here we are. i'm terrified of dying but it feels like i'm already dead inside. what's the point of it all? the grades? the jobs? the money? to be on top? to be the best? i can't do that. i'm at the bottom. I WILL ALWAYS BE ON THE BOTTOM. im not the underdog or that quiet girl who sits in the corner and reads. i'm the girl who fucking tries her hardest for people to like her even a little but always comes across as annoying and trying too hard. i don't know how to feel happy anymore. i'm stuck with constant anger and sadness. i can't feel anything else. i don't feel love for my parents anymore. i really really want to but i can't. they judge me and put me down and idk if it's intentional but god doesn't it fucking kill me. idk how to make out relationship work. idk how. at all. but it's my fault that idk. i wish i had a close relationship with them both but how do i do that when their whole idea of me is a lie. i drink. i smoke. i do drugs. i have sex. they think i'm a virgin who occasionally sips coolers. idk what would happen if they found out. sometimes i wish they didn't like me. that if i messed up they would kick me out. give me a better reason to feel this way. but they do their best even if it's not good. i wish i could do my best. but i just can't care to. i care so much but the effort will never be shown. it stupid. i feel awful. mom, dad.. i'm so sorry i'm your daughter. you deserve so much better than me. everyone deserves better than me. i'm the crust on the pizza you don't eat, the song you skip, or the fucking buzzing sound that drives u crazy. i'm no good. not for me. not for anyone. i have no one. how the fuck did this happen? i just want things to get better. i want to be accepted for who i am. like the fact i don't like presents. or christmas. or travelling. THAT I DONT NEED TO LIKE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO. it's not my fault i don't like it. don't get mad at me for it. i'm always having to go with what people want. never what i want. it's just the way it goes i guess. constantly being told to be quiet because i'm too loud. i'm only loud because u don't listen to me. telling me to calm down and relax. ITS BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING HEAR WHAT I SAY. it's never about me until there's a problem to blame me for. i'm sorry i cost u stupid money. i promise u when i'm older i will pay you back. i swear to god i will. i really wish you could have seen how well i was doing.. maybe not in school but i was so fucking happy. so god damn happy. u didn't care. u were just hung up on my happiness coming from someone who smokes weed. r u fucking kidding me. WEED? i've been smoking weed before i met her. and she's bad? u think i do nothing bad and i'm a "good kid" but i actually do bad stuff so if you knew would i still be a good kid or would i now magically turn into a bad kid? my happiness got cut short. i get the short end of the stick every time. u hang out with me ya but just while ur bf is at work. or before u get to see him again. i feel like u hang out with me as a favour now.. it feels like it's a task or a chore for u.. i'm sorry.. i'm just trying to stay close to you.. but i don't even know if we're close anymore. he's your boyfriend. your top priority. i get that. but when u literally see him everyday for a long period of time and you don't want to leave and hang out i get fucking sad. ITS A FUCKING BOY. when did i turn into someone that's there when he's not? use me.. that's fine.. just know that i notice. i'm a fuck up. no surprise there. but when do i get something i want? please just something that will last. i can't go thru this slow separation again. it fucking sucks. my hearts fucking broken and the pieces having fucking turned to dust. u can't fucking fix that shit. it's done. over. fucked up. how the fuck do i get that shit together again? i fucking don't. cuz nothing in life fucking works out. you ever wonder what you would do if you had 3 wishes..? ill tell you mine: -rich forever> y? because everything fucking involves money. no matter what it is. EVEN FUCKING WATER WILL COST MONEY. i'd always be financially secure. -for everyone having a hard time not to happen anymore. whether you're homeless, sick, being bullied, starving. to just stop. live in a fucking world where everything goes smoothly. -for my parents to know i really love them and am sorry for everything i do. i love and appreciate you guys i really do and i'm sorry for acting like i don't. i'm just trying to figure some shit out right now. please just know i would t want anyone else to take your place. if i had a bonus wish tho.. i'd wish for people to like me.. just enough for them to not look at me weird, judge me, talk shit behind my back, wave or say hey. i genuinely want to be liked. it's so fucking hard being the outcast in a group. i'm even a fucking outcast to the fucking outcasts. high school is a fucking nightmare and i'm just trying to make it thru. doing what i can. people don't think i notice them glare at me, laugh at me, look me up and down for my clothes or the fact i'm not skinny. i notice.. i'm sorry i can't be what you want either. BUT WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER TO YOU IF I FUCKING WEAR UGLY CLOTHES TO SCHOOL DOES IT FUCKING EFFEXT YOU????? GO FUCK YOURSELF FUCKING SNOTTY ASS BOYS AND GIRLS. ill fucking judge u for your shitty ass personality that you're trying to hide in your fucking expensive clothes that your mommy bought. fuck this shit i'm sorry i just need a fucking sign that it's all gonna be okay. just one fucking thing. cuz right now everything is falling apart and idk what to do. please. i can't keep doing this everyday. i hadn't cried in months until now. i've cried everyday for the past 2 weeks. cry on the inside like a winner? i'm a fucking loser. i don't know what to do anymore. i can't fix anything. ...2017