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leviiattacks · a month ago
I loved Ceo Levi so can I request Ceo Levi comforting the reader because she’s in financial trouble? Idk the plot it’s up to you but that sort of idea. I hope it’s not too much of a bother!! Also happy birthday ❤️
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author note :: very rushed and not that great at all but i hope it’s enjoyable anon !! also thank u for the birthday wish <333 if you’d like for me to idk expand on this request you can always request again my ask box is open !! <33333 word count :: 1.5k
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levi’s worried about you
like super worried
ultra worried
mega, super, ultra worried?????
all the synonyms for large aren’t enough to explain how distracted he is whilst he stares at you from across the table.
the entire team meeting today you’ve sat down with a glazed expression, you’re clearly out of it and don’t want to be present
on a few occasions he notices you gnaw at your lips anxiously and your eyes shift everywhere showing you’re clearly uncomfortable
team meetings are normally two hours long on a monday to discuss production plans extensively but levi can’t even make it to the thirty minute mark before he’s dismissing everyone
“we’re ending early i don’t feel well.”
mr ackerman letting the team leave early again... it’s the second time he’s done it now but HEY, the employees have no complaints!!
levi knows something’s bothering you when you don’t move an inch from your seat
you probably haven’t even heard what he said about leaving because you’re so zoned out
now,,,,levi’s never really been big on physical contact and he’s not great at comforting or using words either but he still double checks the door is locked so he can speak to you privately
you start sobbing as soon as the sound of the door clicks
“y/n, what’s wrong?” he’s cautious in his approach but places a hand on top of yours gently to test the waters
but you only start crying even more ?!?,!,
which panics him because oh my god what did he do...???,?.
did he do something wrong???
you know what, he’s just going to copy what people do in the movies and hope it goes well
your sobs echo through the room and he thanks himself that the cement walls are definitely thick enough for you to not be heard by your colleagues
slowly but gradually you get a grip and it almost looks like you have to force yourself to a halt midway just to wipe the tears at your eyes
it’s at times like these that levi thanks you for having an expressive face because he would hate to not notice you felt this horrible
“i suggest you carry on if you haven’t got it all out yet. from personal experience it’s better when someone sits with you.”
levi’s warm words embrace you and you look at his arms then his heat pressed suit. he’s in a completely different world compared to you and a feeling of sickness soon overpowers the warm feeling in your chest
why are you sitting here and crying like a pathetic fool in front of your boss??
ok, maybe he’s a little more personal than a boss you aren’t sure what he really is but that doesn’t matter
“y/n, i have something to say.”
FUCK. this is it. you’ll be fired for being unprofessional and improper. this is IT. the end of your professional career.
you want to run out of this room at full speed and hurl yourself out of one of the windows never to be seen again...
but,, you won’t do that, that’s embarrassing
instead you steel yourself and look at him with as much courage as you can muster (which to be clear is not very much)
“if you ever need to take a day off for mental health reasons you’ve always been allowed to so please feel free to take the rest of the day off if you’d like.”
he’s... not firing you?
“but before that, would you like to let me know what’s happened? can i maybe help?”
you purse your lips feeling the premature humiliation
he can help, anyone with as much money as him can but you don’t want him to aid you. the guilt would eat you away
but you do want to confide in him and tell him what’s wrong
you want to tell someone about it at least
“i’ve been evicted from my apartment” your voice is barely above a whisper and levi just looks at you mouth agape
he pays you enough to live comfortably
how could you be getting evicted?
“i have to pay for my mother’s medical expenses so it’s stressful i send most of my earnings hom-”
levi shushes you with his input. “i’ll pay off the debt so you don’t be evicted and i’ll also give you a pay rise.”
at that you’re just pure shocked
is he even thinking right now???
because this isn’t the strong willed strategic business man you know
“no??? i can’t leech off of you??”
“you’re not leeching. i am investing in you.”
you’re a little lost now but choose to hear him out
“you work for me already and i greatly value your work. now you’re in a tough position. correct?”
you nod your head in response
“and for you to still work for me you’ll need a home. correct?”
again you nod
“so allow me to pay off the debts. it’s for both of our benefit.”
that however really isn’t levi’s reasoning at all. he couldn’t care less about that, he just doesn’t want to see you shoulder the pain and stress of it all alone
staring at him teary eyed you sniffle
“would you-” your voice cracks and you cough “really???”
you look so desperate and vulnerable and levi feels frustrated for not spotting the warning signs of your struggle any sooner
you had been coming to the office looking more restless, you had been drinking more coffee and despite the excessive caffeine consumption he still caught you dozing off at your desk at least four times
he places a hand on the centre of your back and pats you three times as if you’re members on the same ship
“yes i mean it, take it easy.”
his simple sentence is enough to cause all of your rational thinking to jump away and you drag him in by the neck into a tight hug
you’re ugly crying and you know you’ll look back on this in embarrassment but your mind works on impulse, you’re unable to stop it
usually levi doesn’t like anyone messing up his suits but he can make an exception for you. he’s sure your tears have left a moist patch but he’s not mad. hell, even if you get snot on his expensive dress shirt he’ll be okay with it
“is there any way i can pay you back mr ackerman?”
he winces at the formality of your tone
“call me levi.”
your brows raise at the request
“that’s what i want in return. for you to call me levi.”
that’s all???
“oh, well thank you levi. i’m grateful...”
his name rolls off your tongue awkwardly the first few times and even he regrets asking you to call him by his first name
but three days later you’re walking in breezily. a pen is tucked behind your ear and you’re double checking levi’s spending sheet with a calculator in your hands.
levi literally STOPS breathing because you look so refreshed today and the colour is back on your face. you look your best when you’re stress free.
and then you say it
“levi, do you think you could spend a bit less on tea bags because OH MY LORD???”
he notices there’s no longer an air of discomfort to his name and his chest swells happily
“y/n, give me ONE good reason to not spend my money that way??”
you notice how he easily he says your first name with an airy chuckle and you could almost... ALMOST... swear the two of you are flirting
to anyone observing with no sound he looks as nonchalant as normal but really the tone of his voice is implying the suggestive nature of conversation
“maybe you should spend your money on other things you like?” your suggestion is thrown back in your face when levi scoffs choking back a laugh
“i already am spending my money on other interests of mine.”
turning to face him and to hand him a file of paperwork you look him right in the eyes
“and what interests would those be?”
levi’s gaze meander down to your lips before shooting back up to your eyes and you swear you feel a tingle in the pit of your stomach
“i’ll let you figure that out on your own. you’re smart enough.”
you’re gaping at that reply because how are you meant to know???
but, the answer to your question is far more obvious than you think.
and it’s only after work whilst you’re eating dinner that you’re able to connect the dots
he was, talking
gasping you flush bright pink and bury your face into one of your sofa’s pillows
no way, there’s no way that happened
oh no, but there really is a way
and that way is levi ackerman ;-)
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apocalypticgargoyle · a month ago
𝘽𝙊𝘿𝙔 𝙂𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 │ 𝙠.𝙟. 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩
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○ request: i loved your edgy!karl smut it was so good, would appreciate it if u did more of that along with edgy!karl eating the reader out thanks! :)))
○ pairing: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader
○ warnings: nsfw (minors dni), biting, cliche college party scene, oral (fm. receiving), slight domination, light asphyxiation, suggestive language, mentions of alcohol, eyeliner
○ word count: 2259
○ links: part 1, ao3
a/n:  Thank you to everyone for all your support on my first part! It means the world to see so many of you enjoying my writing and I love reading your thoughts, so thank you thank you ♡ Thank you anon for giving me the opportunity to write more for this au hhnngngngnngg. Also I’m so sorry for the wait! I hit midterms in college and this got away from me. I am accepting requests so feel free to send me whatever! Let me know what you think and happy reading :) 
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тнє ѕмєℓℓ σƒ вєєя, ¢нєαρ ¢σℓσgηє, αη∂ єχρєηѕινє нαιяѕρяαу bombarded your senses as if they were part of an invading army against the overwhelming stench of weed and desperation. The juxtaposing elements in the air only further solidified the escapism from your everyday lives. Your eyes traced over the relentless rage of a crowd; identities drowned by dark hues of purples and blues dancing against the clouds of smoke wafting into the air. 
Your skin, sticky with a film of clean sweat and an overindulgent amount of fragrant body glitter, shimmered beneath the same masking streams of lights. Packed among warm bodies kneading together to the distorted bass of a song scraped from the bottom of someone’s playlist, you swayed as your limbs swam through the muggy air to muddle with the rest of the outstretched fingers of your comrades.
Bands of people maneuvered in and out of the large house whose name you could no longer recall. Choruses of greetings would jump into the atmosphere as cliques seemed to reunite after centuries apart when in plain man's reality, it’d been barely hours. Your roommate curled herself around one of the ringleaders of these said social-groupings, just out of your reach. You pressed the back of your hand against your warm forehead to catch your breath as your eyes cut through the flock as if by instinct. 
By some odd twist of fate, Karl was pushed through the front door in a horde of his own. He sent you a smug expression as his sights locked to yours. Over the deafening volume of the music, you could almost hear the ghost of his voice in your ear repeating your name as if it were an ancient prayer as he gripped onto your hips. Your skin stung with the phantom grazing of his teeth against your shoulder blades. Heat rushed to your cheeks at the thought, your vision threatening to glaze over as he winked at you. He could probably see the gears grinding together in your head as your mind wandered. You chewed the inside of your cheek, noticing the lack of his lip ring.
You tore your gaze from him, brushing off his figurative hold over you and attempting to return to whatever state of unaware bliss you were in previously. It had been longer than you realized since you’d seen Karl. You’d wanted to call him, sure, but with school and work, sadly he’d come to slip from your mind. But that didn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering in your stomach at the mere thought of his body against yours once again. 
You could see him out of the corner of your eye maneuvering through the crowd. You took a sip from your drink, pretending not to notice him walking towards you. As the group he was with passed by you, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder, slipping a note into your hand as he followed them. You bit back a smile, shaking your head slightly. You nonchalantly peered at the crumpled paper he had pressed into your hand, deciphering the scribbled, “Meet me in the upstairs bathroom -K.” 
With the lock on the bathroom door clicking into place, Karl’s lips were on yours, pressing you strongly against the wood grain. His kiss was starved as if you had been his only craving for months. His arms wrapped around you, pinning you further against the door with his hum of a moan echoing into your mouth. Your hands slithered beneath his dark shirt, gripping at the bare skin peppering with goosebumps at your touch as if his body was calling to you. You instinctively wrapped one of your legs around his, pulling him closer to you.
His teeth scorched your lips, dragging and pulling at your sensitive skin. His taste on your tongue blurred your sense of reason, and you fought not to lose yourself in the essence of him. He breathlessly pulled away from you, only to begin his campaign against your jaw. One of his hands moved to thread into your hair, brushing it away from your neck to allow himself more of a canvas. His tongue ring, a beloved accessory, was cool against your skin with each of his movements as the sting of his teeth sent heat flooding to your core. His less preoccupied hand gripped your ass tightly, pressing you against the already hardening bulge in his jeans. 
The smell on his clothes was a clean contrast to the suffocating cloudy air outside. His warm breath fanning against your cheeks made your mouth water with anticipation of what he was gearing up to do. He pressed his lips to yours in one last chaste kiss before trailing his lips along your throat and ghosting over your chest before settling on his knees. You chewed the flesh of your bottom lip, suddenly feeling as if you were going through withdrawal as you lacked his attention. 
He looked up at you through his thick lashes, a smug look plastering across his face at your apparent neediness as he gestured for you to widen your stance. In the fluorescent lights of the bathroom, you could now see him clearly, including the yellowing-purple bruise under his eye. On one hand, healing scraps littered his knuckles. His lips settled against your inner thigh just above your knee. “What happened to your eye?” You asked, your voice suddenly uneven and shaky under his gaze. 
His tongue flattened against your thigh, licking a stripe closer to your heat as his fingers grazed against your skin to hook around the waistband of your underwear. “I got too hot-headed in an argument with someone,” he murmured, smirking to himself slightly. 
You rolled your eyes. “How mysterious,” you joked. He chuckled, sending his breath across the wet spots he’d marked between your legs before slipping your underpants down your legs and into his pocket. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows, a few tattoos dotted on his arms sending memories of your first time with him to flash behind your eyes. With almost practiced precision, he pressed his mouth against your heat. 
Your fingers ran into his dark hair as his lips sucked at your bundle of nerves, his tongue grazing ever so faintly against your center. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, pulling you further against his mouth as you ground your hips against his tongue. His tongue ring massaged against your sensitive skin. He hummed slightly, the vibration of his voice echoing through your body, straight to already your budding climax. He began to swirl his tongue against you in a different direction, a new sensation adding to the mix of pleasure you were almost being blinded with as his ring teased against you. 
The concentration—evident in the furrowing of his brow—made you impossibly want him more. He was fixated on edging you toward your orgasm. His finger traced against where you needed friction the most, your body almost begging for him to slip inside of you as he played at the possibility of it.
Finally, he pushed a finger inside of you, making your back arch against the wall, your teeth clamping down on the inside of your cheek to keep the moan threatening to rip from your throat at bay. You groaned as he began to pump it in and out of you, his tongue still delicately dancing around your core. His name slipped from your mouth as he added another finger, picking up his pace and curling them inside of you. He was beckoning your release as you began to feel tension building within you. He looked up at you again, his gaze shifting into more of an expression asking for praise. You tugged at your own hair, nearly unable to express what kind of pleasure he was putting you through. “Fuck, Karl…” You groaned, a strained moaning tone slipping past your lips. 
He detached from you, quickening his pace. “That’s right, say my name,” he ribbed, a cocky grin spreading to his lips. Your heel dug into his back, nearly losing your balance as you toed the edge of an orgasm. You moaned his name like a sinful prayer, begging him to continue. He flattened his tongue against your core once again, moving his head side to side and finally coaxing you to finish.
Your knees were ready to buckle beneath you as you pulled at his hair. He placed a kiss to your thighs again before standing and sealing the last of your blissed-out expression between his lips, his tongue ring teasing into your mouth. He turned the two of you, pressing you against the edge of the sink counter. He slipped his fingers beneath the shoulder straps of your dress, threatening to break them. He let go of you, his eyes tracing over your features. 
A dark chuckle fell from his lips as he set your chin between his thumb and index finger, turning you to look at yourself in the mirror. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder blades as you took note of how disheveled the two of you looked. His eyeliner was smudged, his lips a deep red. Your hair was a mess and your makeup smeared from his attention. Parts of his shirt and wherever his hands had been were glistening from the glitter you’d spread on your body before the party. He seemed to like that a stranger could tell the two of you were together as his lips continued to pepper your neck with open-mouthed kisses. 
He ground himself against you, the friction making you groan. His hands toyed with the hem of your skirt, his fingertips ghosting patterns into your skin as you leaned back against him, wanting him to give in to whatever he was conjuring up in his mind. At your signs of continuing, he unzipped his pants, bending you over the sink slightly before letting his cock beckon at your entrance. 
You braced yourself against the counter as he pressed his lips behind your ear, pushing into you. His hiss of relief fanned against your skin at the feeling of you tightening around him as you adjusted to his size. “Fuck, I missed you,” he moaned against the shell of your ear before beginning to thrust into you. A groan escaped your mouth as one of his hands dug into your hip to keep you grinding against him. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he leered, his other hand moving to settle against the mirror, bracing the two of you as his hips jutted against you, driving himself deeper into you. You willed your eyes forward, meeting Karl’s derisive smirk in the reflection as your hair stuck to the sides of your face in exertion. His teeth sank into your shoulder, stifling his own lude muses. 
You could tell he was already close as his hips quickened, the fixed, sanguine look in his eyes running straight to your core. You gripped the edge of the counter, watching as his hand left a very defined print on the glass from his sweat and the body glitter as it moved to wrap around your throat, fingers threatening to imprint on your skin. You wanted him to leave his mark on you though. The bruises he’d left last time were like trophies to you as they faded, and you wore them under your clothes with secret pride. He flexed his hand, restricting your airflow as he groaned in your ear, your vision blurring with pleasure. 
You gasped as he let go, air filling your lungs as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder once again, his speed quickening. You felt yourself once again walking the thin line of spilling over into your climax. Before you knew it, you were unraveling around him, tightening as you did so to draw him to finish as well. He groaned at the feeling, his throat sounding nearly raw with the action. As bliss spread through your body, you regained some slight sense of reality, your knees aching and unstable beneath Karl. He wrapped an arm around your waist to steady the two of you as you both caught your breath. 
As he zipped his pants, you straightened your hair and fixed your makeup. “I ran into your roommate at the store the other day,” he commented. You turned to him, an eyebrow raised slightly. He ran two fingers over his bottom lip in thought, standing beside you. “I think she likes me,” he joked, reaching an arm around you to rest on the wall, leaning closer to you. 
You smirked up at him, reaching to close the gap between the two of you, pressing your lips against his briefly. “Oh, come on, don’t make me jealous,” you leered as he dug his face into the crook of your neck. He groaned slightly at your jab. 
“You wish,” he quipped back, sending you into a short laugh. He straightened up, capturing your lips against his before shrugging out of your way. “Save a dance for me,” he mocked, sending you a wink as he slipped out the door. 
You rolled your eyes slightly, fighting the smile wanting to break through your façade. You exited the bathroom a few minutes later to attempt to blend back into the crowd. Your mind clicked into place as you were mere paces from your roommate. You felt a foreign blush creep up to your ears as you realized Karl still had your underwear in his pocket.
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gt-ridel · a month ago
Several hundred words of Half-Life Borrower!AU goodness
(Hi, this is Passportinspection!) Oooh goodness. I actually started writing this as an ask. I really thought what I had to say would fit into an ask. Since sending that anon about having 350 words of thoughts, I ended up getting distracted for a few hours, and then when I came back to this, I apparently had 400 more words to say. I just love rambling what-ifs about AUs. :’>
Hi Passportinspection!  Sorry it took so long to reply to this. I had more work than I thought yesterday. >__< I totally agree! Rambling about what-ifs is WAY more fun than actually writing a story. ;;>__> _
These are… not all A-list ideas, and I was very tempted to cut it down to the best bits, BUT I know that if someone said to me “I had 5 ideas for your au but only told you the 2 good ones” I would be extremely interested in hearing the 3 bad ones anyway, so… here it all is. This was written pretty stream-of-consciousness and then rearranged a bit to form my pinballing thoughts into something a little more linear, but, fair warning, it wasn’t edited much beyond that.
_ Ooo, I absolutely want to hear everything! All ideas, good and bad! Are you kidding? (Gets comfy) _
I keep thinking about the end of that “gordon takes borrower!barney with him through the events of HL1” scenario; Imagining gman’s speech at the end, I like the idea of him saying something like, “As for your.. /passenger/..” and both of their bloods running cold. I can’t decide if I’d rather barney actually go into stasis with gordon or not I think it could be an interesting/cute concept- the idea that gman/his employers figured barney was enough of a factor in gordon’s success that they thought it would be wise to keep them together for future “assignments.”
_ Bro I'll be honest, I hadn't gotten that far in the AU because I still haven't finished the game. My only reference for G-man is Mr. Coolatta. So I'll have to at least look the ending up on youtube before I'll be able to give my informed opinion.  But taking it as is?  That would be freaking terrifying. They've met some other scientists and security guards during their escape, but the HEV helmet was a perfect hiding place. None of them ever noticed that Gordon wasn't alone.  But somehow this reality bending creep knows, and it looks like he's not going to let Barney and Gordon just go home, which was basically what they were fighting for the whole time.  _
I’m also thinking about, like.. With Barney in Gordon’s helmet with him, Gordon must be able to feel him tense up and hear his breathing speed up whenever something particularly scary/dangerous happens, maybe even at times faintly feel the fluttering of his heart, and it strengthens his resolve to make it out of there bc it’s not just himself he’s saving. 🥺 Also Barney can provide running commentary, which perhaps soothes both of their nerves a little. Maybe he even helps with some puzzles. :> I also think it’s funny/convenient that that would work really well for an actual video game format. A friend that’s with you wherever you go that sees everything you see but can’t interact with the world but provides commentary and occasional helpful tips? That fits in nicely!
  _ Ha! Something I was thinking about was how Barney has spent his whole life living in the vents and such. He would probably be a perfect guide for Gordon. :3 As for Gordon feeling when Barney gets tense or scared and that fuling his drive to escape, that was ABSOLUTELY one of the reasons I wanted Barney in the helmet.  It would be uncomfortable, inconvenient, and down right dangerous sometimes. But you cannot deny the unique opportunities for deeper emotional exploration it would present. _
…But also, now that I think about it, maybe there are parts where the only way forward is for Barney to slip through a crack in a blockaded doorway and use a control panel that opens another door- that sort of thing. He gets to help with more than just talking sometimes! :> Oh, dang, imagine the part where gordon gets jumped and almost killed by the military. Poor Barney. D: Maybe a factor in Gordon escaping the trash compactor before it crushes him is Barney frantically trying to wake him up.
_ I was defo hyperfixating on what the whole beat down would be like from Barney's perspective a few days ago! Gordon would be at an extra disadvantage in the fight because he'd have to be careful not to accidentally bash Barney between his skull and the helmet while he's being smacked around.  Imagine Barney being tossed all over the small space, maybe ending up pinned when Gordon finally passes out. Noticing when a small stream of blood starts leaking from his friends mouth and soaking into his clothes. Gordon is completely helpless, and so is Barney as he hears the soldiers talking about what they're going to do with the body.  I just think that whole scene and the escape from the trash compactor would be so fun and exciting~ -
Also, unrelated, but I wonder how barney would wake up in city 17, if he did go into stasis with gordon. That is, since gordon is wearing a citizen outfit when he comes out of stasis, barney obviously can’t be in the helmet anymore. Maybe gman elects to move barney to a pocket somewhere instead lol. I’m imagining as soon as gordon is released from whatever effect gman had him under and he’s able to move again, he starts patting himself down looking for Barney (the same way one does when they forget which pocket their phone is in ), bc last he knew Barney was right up against his face and now he’s /not/, and that man SAID they’d be “hired” as a team so /where is he/ because Gordon needs to know he’s /okay/. As Barney is released from the same effect, he probably moves and makes himself apparent, so it’s only for like a second that Gordon is doing that.
_ Once again, I can't speak much to what would happen in a HL2 continuation of this story, but that sounds about right for an initial reaction scene.  Imagine Barney just coming out of it and being in some sort of... bag? being jostled around? He feels a giant hand pat over him from outside and he grunts in surprise. Then the hand rests against him and Barney realizes he's in a humans breast pocket, being held against someones chest as beside him a thundering heart slowly begins to calm. He figures this must be Gordon. He doesn't KNOW any other humans, and he can't imagine that man in the suit would be all that concerned about Barney's wellbeing.  _ 
Barney doesn’t know where they are/who else is out there at all ‘cause he can’t see from where he is, and Gordon can feel him shifting to lean out of the pocket and get a look, and he just puts a hand over the pocket, covering the opening in the process, and applies a gentle pressure for a couple moments, and Barney knows that means he needs to stay put because it’s not safe to come out yet. Thankfully Barney heard Gman talking to Gordon and addressing him by name, so he doesn’t have to worry about whose pocket he just woke up in. He would probably somewhat recognize Gordon’s gait/the feel of his hands at that point, too. As for how Gordon avoids boarding the train to Nova Prospekt without canon barney there to stop him, I have no idea.
  _ YEAAAH that is a good point. Barney is kind of vital for that role. Maybe we can slot a different character into his place. ^__^;; _
Oooh, going back a bit, maybe when the nihilanth is teleporting gordon around in the boss level, or from the very beginning when gordon jumps into the portal to Xen, they get teleported separately and end up in different places? (Ignoring for a moment the parts with portals in Black Mesa ^^;) That sure is an additional level of distress for the both of them during the Big Final Level(s). And then perhaps at the end, part of gman’s speech can be like, “As for your.. companion, you can rest assured he was recovered safe and sssound. After all, you two performed so well, together, it would be ideal to hire you as, a team.” Or whatever
_ Imagine Barney, stranded and alone on Xen, desperately trying to find Gordon, and having his OWN creepy G-man encounter. :U _
Our Barney AUs differ in some exciting ways and it’s fun to play in someone else’s sandbox for a while. :p I’ll probably cut my notes doc down into something readable and post it sometime in the near-ish future.. Either that or actually write the dang fic.
_ I would absolutely LOVE to hear about your AU too! So if you do either of those things, be sure to @ me!  Thank you so much for playing in this sandbox with me. I am ALWAY down to talk Borrower AU stuff. It's just so much dang fun! ^0^
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direstakes · a month ago
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Send 👤+ a name to get my muses’ opinions on that person!
☾┫ Anon​​ | sent:
👤 Your lil friend Emma, maybe! All of u. (Or maybe just Abyss and Moony.)
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♪⋆❝Aw, Ems? Love the hell out of that little gal! I met her first through the other three after they invited her over one night. ‘A friend from school’ is what they said at first ‘fore they shared the whole story. She’s pretty much a member of the squad at this point... Oughtta make her her own choker, huh?❞
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♩⋆❝Still tryin’ to figure out where she stores all that affection a’ her’s when she’s not pourin’ it out... ‘Course, you don’t see me complaining about it or anything, her teasing aside. ‘S nice, and she’s as genuine as they come. That makes me worry a bit for her, yknow? Some folks’ll use that sort of thing against a person... I catch anyone takin’ advantage of that, I’m punchin’ their lights out if she doesn’t beat me to it. That’s a promise.❞
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♬⋆❝Emma’s cool, and I’ve got her back in... whatever she decides to do on the day to day. Whether that’s smuggling her into classes or otherwise. She gets along well with all of us... but I can’t say I know too much about her... I wonder where the boundary for questions lies...❞
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♫⋆❝I can’t help but admire her... I mean, she’s pretty badass, isn’t she? I can’t really see myself being brave enough to do what she does... but I can at least lend a hand when she needs it. Honestly, I’m just glad to be friends with her. The world could use more people like her, if you ask me.❞
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metawin · a month ago
oh hi dream girl! well i def missed your lovely replies, but i figured you were busy 😇 and would be back around when you weren’t! aw, your day sounds rough 😔 i’m sorry, i hope you get to get off this rollercoaster soon!! i’m sending you tea and cookies and little lovely things in my head! ✨
ah, i thought it would be fair of me to share more about myself! though i don’t really know what to share 🤔 y’know that ‘i didn’t think i’d get this far’ meme? that’s me, in shock and awe we have a correspondence happening. um but besides hiding on anon, i’m an open book! 😅😅 i’m sure opportunities to Reveal my Secret Identity will happen organically hehehehwjakkd
anyway, i can’t imagine a place with even less rain than us! i would miss it too, rainy days are so lovely ☺️ besides not raining, what’s it like where you live? what do you like about it?
oh 🥺 you’re the absolute sweetest! it’s my humble goal to add even a touch of sparkle to your day, because it’s very clear to me that you deserve it. so! i’ll try my best!
and i’m right there with you about leaning into cooking and baking during the lockdown. it’s nice to feel accomplished, while we’re cooped up inside, and to share something lovely with loved ones! omg you’re so cute, that def doesn’t make you a loser 😂 it makes you just!! so sweet! (i would *love* to share this apple pastry with you, you have no idea 😊 sharing the recipe will suffice, for now)
aw thank you!! today was nice, i actually had an excuse to be outside (it’s the little things)! i got to wear my new boots which are very like cute and lesbian-y and make me feel like i’m taller than everyone 🥰 and i got honey green tea 🤤 which is the power that fuels me. that alone brightened my day!
before i sign off, i have a very important question 🥺 do you have any petnames you like? i called you ‘sugarplum’ in my head, which makes me ridiculous, yes 😂 but i feel like pet names are like a personality quiz? everybody has their own preferences, and this way i can correct the one in my head ☺️🙈 i feel ridiculous asking you this so on that high note, goodnight 😴 🌙 , rest well and i hope you have a beautiful day! 🌺✨
p.p.s i have never used the 🥺 emoji so much in my life since sending you these asks!! you’ve made my recent emoji’s list sweeter, just by existing! proof you’re the sweetest person alive! 😌🍰💘
i can finally reply hii hii omg i had this ask on my inbox and i felt so bad for not replying ur so sweet for this 🥺🥺🥺 and i love tea and cookies (im more of a tea than coffee person)
things have gotten better since i replied to ur ask so thank u for checking up on me as well ❤️ and thank u for the recipe i will make sure to try it out one day and let u know hehe
i’m really glad u got some time to enjoy outside and ur new boots. looks like that made u really happy. and as a lesbian i enjoyed reading the description of them fjdkkdkdkd and YAY FOR TEA I LOVE IT
i live in peru in the coast so its very humid but rn its summer so its super hot, i live in front of the ocean but not technically that near to it. you can go to the beach by car and its a 30-40 min drive (of course not right now bc of the pandemic all the beaches are closed 😭) but i usually go to visit my grandma’s beach house in summer or i just stay here and go for walks. right now im teaching english online to some kids but i cant do it in person bc the covid cases are still high... but yeah i love summer and the heat isnt unbearable rn thank god 😥
about the pet names.. i love love pet names i guess u can call me anything u want ☺️ but my faves are “honey/sweetheart/baby” ummm too personal sorry 🤭 but feel free to use any ones u like i cant believe u were really thinking it through in ur head thats so cute 🥺💜
I hope u have the best day and u get some fresh air again like last time. sending u hugs thanks for taking the time to do all this ps: i saw the blog u really dont have to i feel so fjdkkd idk how to react but thank u 🥺🥺🥺
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melremade · 2 months ago
hi!! so i just started writing fanfics, and i was just wondering -- how do you deal w/ numbers and the whole posting online thing? while i know that i should be writing for fun and stuff (bc it is!) and that im literally JUST starting out, BUT i just.. im someone who really heavily relies on validation, and when people don't really respond to my works well (or at all), i kinda just.. feel bad ): idk.. do u have any tips?
🥺 You came to me for advice on this, anon? 🥺 Thank you so much! I’m more than happy to pass on what I’ve learned and help out a new writer. I’ve been reading/writing fanfics on-and-off in some form or another for like ten years, but especially over the last four and am happy to share some tips. There are five main things that I think can help grow your follower count and the amount of feedback you get:
Don’t feel bad about wanting validation.
Consider the platforms where you post.
Write for active fandoms and popular characters.
Post frequently.
Interact with other authors.
This got rather long so I have more info under the cut about each of these. 
1. Don’t feel bad about wanting validation.
There’s this dumb trap that we all fall into as writers that tells us that validation isn’t important and that what matters most is our love of writing. While I enjoy writing, if my stuff got no notes and no feedback then I would definitely have gotten discouraged and quit writing awhile ago. Why would I put all that effort into something if no one seems to appreciate it? There’s nothing bad about wanting people to let you know they like your writing! I get so happy when I see someone left a comment on one of my fics or went crazy in the tags or sent me an ask. And when something doesn’t get any feedback, I get depressed about it and second guess whether I should have bothered writing it. So, definitely try not to get caught up feeling bad because you want people to tell you that they liked your work. 💕
2. Consider the platforms where you post.
I only use AO3 and Tumblr, so I can’t speak to any other platforms, but posting my writing on both of these are widely different experiences. Part of the culture of AO3 is giving kudos and leaving comments, so you’re more likely to get feedback there than anywhere else. I slowly built a following on Tumblr because of my AO3, even when I wasn’t posting anything on Tumblr itself. I would really recommend checking out AO3 if you’re not already on there! You do need to request an invitation, but it only took me a couple of days to receive one. I also have 8 invitations that I haven’t sent out, so DM me if you want one and I can give you one! 
I’m sure you’ve already seen posts about this, but the unfortunate thing about writing on Tumblr is that the feedback is absolutely minuscule and I’m not sure why. There’s this awful culture on this platform of people only liking content and not reblogging it to make sure it gets shared with other users. So, you end up really reliant on your own followers and the tagging system for your works to reach people. And the tagging system is a mixed bag. Sometimes your posts don’t show up in the tags or they will but only after a couple of days. If your post gets enough notes then it might go to the top of the search feed but then only for a few days at most. 
As a sidenote to readers, this is why reblogging is so important! Even if you only have five followers or don’t leave a comment, just reblogging it means a lot to content creators!
Here are some of the tips I have for the mechanics of Tumblr:
Use the tagging system, as imperfect as it is. I think Tumblr now reads the first 20 tags in your post, so use that to your benefit. I usually always tag at least: [character name]; [character name x reader]; [fandom]; [fandom x reader]. You can always also try things like: [character name genre], [fandom genre], [fandom fanfic], [character fanfic] as well.
Make sure your blog is easy to navigate and have a masterlist that’s easy to find. If a reader sees your content on their dash and decides to check out your other works, if they can’t find them on your blog then they’ll probably just leave.
Self-reblog as much as you feel you need to for your followers who may have missed your post. I self-reblog a lot for new content over the first couple of days and then even will do a few icymi self-reblogs later as well. It also helps to have a list in your profile somewhere of your recent updates so people can easily see if they’ve missed something. 
3. Write for active fandoms and for popular characters.
This might seem like common sense, but I think it’s something to keep in mind if you want to grow your follower count and your chances of getting feedback. And there’s nothing wrong with prioritizing a fic over another just because you want more feedback. I actually really want to write something for Chainsaw Man but the fandom is so small compared to the other fandoms I write for that I’m putting it on hold until the anime comes out. 
That’s not to discourage you from writing for characters or fandoms that are less popular -- I have a bad habit of writing for niche characters and fandoms. But I always see my activity spike when I write for more popular characters. Another tip is to try and figure out which characters people are thirsting over but where there’s a lack of fics for them. You’ll also find that some characters or fandoms just have louder fans than others. The stuff I’ve written for Gojo has gotten a lot of likes and notes, but not so many comments or much feedback. But the amount of asks and thirsts I’ve gotten for Naoya is wild. This is something you’ll learn over time as you keep writing!
4. Post frequently. 
This one is annoying because writers have lives and real-world responsibilities and we can’t just write 24/7. But when you’re trying to build a following, even if you can do a couple of short drabbles a week, you’ll really start to see your follower count and feedback grow. I’m not sure if people tend to like longer or shorter fics more, but overall people are just hungry for content and if you can give it to them on a frequent or at least regular basis then they’re more likely to interact, especially if you’re taking requests. 
But don’t prioritize writing and posting content at the cost of your own well-being. As authors we’re all guilty of this at one time or another, but your followers will understand if you have writer’s block or you need to take a step back! Taking care of yourself is more important than getting feedback or interaction. ❤️
5. Interact with other authors. 
Building relationships with other authors is a big one, but it’s also probably the hardest because a lot of us (me included!) are just so shy about reaching out! It’s like asking someone on a date or trying to be friends with someone you really admire. I know it’s scary to come off of anon (I still sometimes send asks on anon!), but authors recognize the names we see often in our notes and in our inboxes and we’re all really nice, I promise! 🥰 And I’m much more likely to read the fics of my mutuals and the people I follow than I am to be searching through the tags.
And I think there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to an author you love and politely asking if they’ll read your work. I think it’s totally okay to send something like, “I really love your writing and wanted to know if it’s alright if I share this fic I just posted with you? I’ve seen you thirsting over [character] and think you might like it if you have the time to read it!” The worst they can do is turn you down. I would never be upset over getting an ask like that as long as it was polite and the person was understanding that I might not have time to read their fic. But, I know that this is really scary to ask of someone. I’ve only done it once or twice, so maybe I don’t have any ground to stand on here, but I really think you should try it even if you need to send the ask on anon first.
Please just be mindful of an author’s rules before reaching out.
Another added bonus is that authors are more likely to reblog and give you feedback on the stuff you write because we’re in the exact same boat as you! We’re the perfect audience. 
And don’t forget...
Growing your follower count and reaching the level of feedback you want takes time. If you’re just starting out, don’t get discouraged. The more you write, the better you get so even if you’re not getting the feedback you want now, that doesn’t meant that you never will! 
And of course, pay it back in kind. Just how you want people to interact with your fics, we want the same. I always try to leave comments on the fics I read on AO3 and always reblog the fics I like on Tumblr and try to go wild in the tags so that the author knows that I loved their works. 
I hope you found all of this useful, anon! Best of luck with your writing! 💕
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realcube · 3 months ago
comfort hcs 💗 feat. overworked! reader
characters: yaku, oikawa, yams & akaashi
trigger warning: swearing
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thank you to anon for this sweet request!
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morisuke yaku
♡ he has concerned mom energy to i feel like he’d notice that you’re overworking yourself before starts negatively effecting you 
♡ once he figures out that you’re actually stressed and he’s not just being paranoid, he will probably hold an intervention where is like ‘sit down, let’s have a cha--’
♡ but you just push him out the way to grab your coat, ‘sorry, sweetheart. i don’t wanna miss my bus!’
♡ DFRTYJUHG he just stood there like a statue looking at you like (●__●) this bitch-
♡ anyway, once you come back from uni/college/school/ work etc yaku insists that you need to sit down and discuss your problems with him 
♡ then you’re kinda just like ‘what problems?????’
♡ also, after what happened that morning, yaku was not taking ‘no’ as an answer
♡ no matter what you say 
♡ homework? you can do that later
♡ chores? he’ll do them for you if you just listen to him
♡ hungry? you can eat while you listen to him
♡ showering? you smell fine!
♡ so yeah, he will pick you up and carry you to the living room if he has to
♡ he’s probably really serious about the issue bc your feelings aren’t a joke to him but he lined up your favourite plushies on the couch so he could talk to them as a third party when you disagreed with him
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“i study in moderation! and i have not been neglecting our relationship; i just need to focus on my studies!” you tutted, averting your gaze from yaku’s as you thought about his accusation; did he really feel as though you had been taking him for granted? because of course, that wasn’t your intention at all and the more you thought about it, the more you realise that perhaps he was right.
yaku rolled his eyes at your response, quite enraged by your dismissive tendencies but he didn’t want to take his anger out on you so he simply turned to the kiiroitori plush that sat beside him, “duck, do you think (l/n) has been overworking themselves and ignoring both of us?”
kiirotori was forced by yaku’s hand to nod in response.
you snorted slightly before trying to furrow your eyebrows in anger once again, “their name is kiiroitori!” 
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tōru oikawa
♡ dsfghjkl ngl he clearly overworks himself too so he wouldn’t even notice 
♡ he’s like ‘oh, you’re spending hours upon hours of a day - losing sleep and energy - to dedicate yourself solely to one thing so you can be perfect at it??? that’s completely normal!’
♡ spoiler alert, it’s not
♡ it’d probably take a third-party to point that what you are both doing isn’t healthy (either iwaizumi or a therapist)
♡ then you’d both look at each other like ⚆_⚆ wut 
♡ anyway recovery time ig ✨
♡ he’d definitely just try distract you whenever he sees you studying/training/practising
♡ forget overwork, he doesn’t even let you work 
♡ oh and y’all have started having ‘lazy days’ once a month where you make it a point to nothing but each other :))
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
you both stared at the television, pretending to be absolutely engrossed by jumanji. however, once you let out your fifth sigh that minute, oikawa could tell that you were just as disinterested as he was so he peered over his shoulder to look at you, “this is so boring.” 
you nodded, shuffling closer to him so he could drape his arm around your shoulder and bury his nose into your hair. “it’s so hard to just sit here and do nothing when i know that i have a lot to do, y’know?”
oikawa hummed in agreement, “but it’s nice to finally spend some quality time with you, angel.” he placed a kiss on your temple, scooting awkwardly in his seat before pulling you down to lay down next to him on couch. 
“yeah,” you purred, happily falling onto the soft cushions while in oikawa’s embrace, “i’ve suddenly had a change of heart - i love these lazy days.”
“that was fast.”
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tadashi yamaguchi
♡ it would take him a wile to built up the courage to actually express his concern about you overworking yourself
♡ but until then, he’ll show them in more subtle ways
♡ like if he sees you working at your desk - whether your posture is straight or not - he’ll rush up to you and massage your shoulders/back while talking
♡ he always sends you goodnight texts and gets v snappy when you text him in the middle of the night 
♡  ‘tadashi, what did you get for number five on the maths hw?’
♡ if he opens the message and notices that you sent that crazy late at night or the ass crack of dawn, he’ll lose his shit
♡ he forces himself to ask you out on dates irl so that if you use work/training/practise etc as an excuse..he can give the puppy eyes 🥺
♡ don’t get me wrong, he’s not manipulative at all but you just overwork yourself so much he think that the teeniest tiniest little bit of fun wouldn’t do you any harm 
♡ he literally cares for you so much and he just wants you to be healthy and happy like is that too much to ask ಥ_ಥ
♡ it would take him 3 months of mental preparation to confront you but he’d do it eventually lol
♡ he’d still be super duper nervous though 👉👈
  ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“(y/n).” yamaguchi’s soft voice rang quietly through the hallway before he stuck his head inside your room in search for you. he let out a sigh upon noticing that - like always - you were sitting at your desk, drowning in papers of schoolwork. 
he hurriedly approached you, suddenly throwing his arms around your shoulders as he hid his face in the crook of your neck before wailing, “(y/n)! i know it’s none of my business but i just think you work yourself way too hard and i see how sleepy you are all the time and you didn’t even eat the cupcakes i made you because you were too busy studying - i thought you loved my cupcakes!”
your eyes widened at the sudden contact and the string of words yamaguchi was babbling in your ear; but you semi-understood what he was getting at. so you steadily turned around to wrap your arms around his neck and rub his spine reassuringly, “i am so sorry, tadashi. i had no idea i was worrying you.”
he shook his head against the skin of your neck, “it’s fine, i worry about everything.” he joked before changing to a more serious tone, “it’s just that-- i think you should care more about yourself. take some time to relax once and a while, y’know?”
his sweet words resulted in your lips curling to a smile while his arms wrapped securely around your body brought you a much-needed feeling of peace, “alright, i’ll try.”
“good.” yamaguchi chirped, pecking your forehead then positioning his face where it was prior, going back to enjoying the feeling of your soft skin agaist his. “-so, are you gonna eat the cupcakes or”
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keiji akaashi 
♡ he overworks himself too
♡ if anything, i think he’d praise you for being ‘hard-working’ at first ‘:)
♡ but once he notices how much you work and how negatively it’s effecting your mental/physical health, he’ll intervene
♡ like yamaguchi, i think he’d start small by subtly doing things to reverse the effects of your stress 
♡ and simultaneously, it kinda helps him too
♡ for example, if you get stress ance, he’ll do a bunch of research on the best skin treatments for it, buy the products then do facemasks with you + create a whole new nightly skincare routine for both of you 
♡ or if your not taking care of yourself properly, he’ll book you both in for a spa appointment 
♡ or if you’re tense, he’ll get you both massages from those professional ppl that make you strip naked
♡ when they make you get your tiddies out, you know they are a professional  masseuse
♡ and he’ll take out on ten times more just to help you relax
♡ also, they’re always slow-paced dates bc like ofc akaashi takes you out to the park/beach for picnics....does he seem the sort of guy to take you bowling?? no.
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
you sighed as akaashi brought a spoon up to your lips, looking at you expectantly but you simply whined, “keiji, i should be at home studying right now. you know my exam in 5 months, right?” though akaashi wanted to believe you were joking, the seriousness in your voice made it clear that you genuinely thought 5 months was a short period of time - even considering all the work you’ve already done in preparation for it. 
so akaashi simply shrugged in response, continuing to prod your lip with the spoon until you parted you lips, allowing the pudding he made to enter your mouth. then, he pulled it out lower it to observe your pouty expression for a moment; you were so cute that he couldn’t help but smile softly. 
“i’m sure you’ll do fine, sweetheart. i believe in you.” he said, gripping your waist before placing a tender kiss on your cheek. “for now, let’s enjoy this perfect weather. it only comes around once a year, so why not make the most of it, hm?” 
before you were able to reply, akasshi utilized the hand  the had on your waist to pull you back onto the picnic blanket with him, so you were both looking up at the pale blue sky, decorated with delicate clouds. “what do you see?” he inquired, gesturing up to the shapes the clouds formed.
you snickered, slowly intertwining your finger with his as you examined the sky for any familiar shapes or silhouettes in the sky. “oh!” you exclaimed, lifting your index finger to point to a particular cloud adorning the sky, “that kinda looks like my maths professor in a gallon hat.” 
akaashi snorted, “i have no idea what your maths professor looks like but alright.”
you laughed, lowing your finger but not everting your gaze from the special cloud you spotted, “what about you, babe? what do you see?”
with a moment of hesitation, akaashi immediately replied, “an angel.”
your eyes scanned across the sky for a cloud in the shape on an angel but you simply couldn’t find the one he was referring to, so you whipped your head to the side to see where he was pointing, only notice that his eyes were fixated on you. 
“y-you’re such a simp, keiji.”
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keishinslove · 3 months ago
😳 carter,,,,, i’ll smack u as hard as u want ☺️ u don’t have to ask me twice <3333
and i 🥺 stop i’m swooning!!! i would love nothing more ꒰⌗´͈ ᵕ ॣ`͈⌗꒱৩ but carter!!!!!! u said hallmark movie!! so now i’m thinking abt 😳 mistletoe <3333 i think we should skip the massage and u should just kick my head instead ☺️ maybe then my brain cells would actually work?!?!? ヽ(^◇^*)/ just a thought!!!!
but pls now that you’ve said it it HAS to happen <333 i’m v invested in our wuv story ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)˚๐*˟ ♡ but i say we skip all the angst and get to the fluff???? and the cute parts????? yes??? ok thank u 😚😚😚
also the way my heart fell outta my ass omg i????? STOP PLS UR ??? U ?? U RLLY ??? U RLLY DID THAT?? I SAID ONE THING. ☝️ ONE THING. UNA COSA. AND U FIGURED IT OUT?? THAT FAST??? ARE U IN THE FBI?? or am i just super obvious AAAHHHHH (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू) HOW DID YOU ???? KNOW THAT WAS ME???? u had ur SUSPICIONS ??!?!?!? CARTER. 😀 i...i. hm. i see. okay. ill. ill ADJUST. i’ll go undercover!!!!! ill be so sneaky just u WAIT •̀.̫•́✧
it’s just one thing after another w u huh 😞 my heart is v fragile rn and u being so sweet to me isn’t helping at all!!!!!!!! but pls never stop i love the heart palpitations u give me <333 i don’t mind a heart attack if ur the cause <33333 but no i’m serious i don’t know what to say i’m very emotional rn your words are always so sweet and encouraging and i just (。•ˇ‸ˇ•。) i rlly hope you know how loved and appreciated you are carter :( is it sappy to say that i genuinely get so excited when i see you’ve replied?? yes??? okay i’ll stop i’ll go back to bullying you it’s what i do best after all 😚💗
thank u for accepting me <3333 even tho of course u would me being obsessed w granddaddy ukai is so valid isn’t everyone in love w him?!? 😍 and 🥺😳💞 can we have joint weddings?!? i mean,,, maybe you wouldn’t want that because my boo would upstage the other ukai 😔💘 JSBSJBSSJ i’m kidding,,,, i promise don’t kill me 🥺😳
but !!!!! in case no one’s told u this today,,,,, drink water (ㆁᴗㆁ✿) 💦 or i’ll stomp u 😠
no i’m kidding i don’t know what i’m saying i rlly need to stop trying to reply to u at like 1am but!!! it’s when i get needy <33333 SJWJJABWJ
anyways i love u carter i hope you know how soft i am for you (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘) i am so sorry for all the nonsense i spewed in this one but uh???? i’ll blame the fact that u broke my brain by guessing my hcs SO FAST ksnwkwn that took a toll on me this is all on u!!!! just kidding 🥺 anyways. i’m done. that’s enough!!!!! i’m sorry this is so long. idk what possessed me. but i wuv u. i can’t stress that ENOUGH. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ
i hope you’re having a great day today!!!! pls look after urself <3 take breaks and enjoy ur saturday??? sunday??? idk what time it is for u 😍 but enjoy today!!! n tomorrow!!! omg
— your bully anon who realizes this was unnecessarily wordy n WAY longer than normal. i’m not sorry!!!!! (˵•̀෴•́˵)♡ jk yes i am why am i like this pls this was a whole ass mess i apologize and i understand if u never wanna talk to me again because honestly i wouldn’t either jESUS
u know what i just wanted to tell you i love you!! just to make sure you knew!!
but but but i have my suspicions when i get certain anons now that i know you visit me on other occasions 👁 any visit from my pretty bully is always!! such a blessing so pls <3 send in as much as you ever want okay?
i’m so sorry ur brain is being fragile rn and your mind is swimmin’ but i hope it has a nice dip in the jacuzzi and you come back feeling super great and amazing and unstoppable! you’re so wonderful i hope you’re able to be at 100% soon mwah mwah
also ykw i think a joint wedding would be fabulous even if ikkei one ups my mans 😔 🤙 we could save a fortune on a venue and we’ll have the same last name!! carter ukai and bullie ukai <3 i think it’s a perfect plan!
this reply doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but i’m having a v hard day and talking to u always makes me feel great <3 so i wanted to let you know i was thinking of you!!
have a perfect amazing wonderful fantastic day and i hope your weekend is so much fun and you get a break from school!
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endeavorsensei · 3 months ago
I’d like to request nsfw drabbles of Hawks/Aizawa/Shinsou/and Sero with an shy s/o trying on lingerie and they walk in on her wearing it so they decide to have fun with her ☺️✨I hope you have a great day as well and I love your writing btw😻👍🏾
a/n: love how i have things from 2 months ago bc i just wasn’t active LMAOO (sorry anon do u even remember sending this in 💀)
summary: hawks x reader , eraserhead x reader, shinsou x reader | semi-public, oral, teasing, use of brainwash quirk, 
no ageless blogs, empty blogs, and minors
Keigo Takami | Hawks
Keigo waits until the worker is out of sight to make his move, an innocent smile pulling at his lips as he lets himself in and locks the fitting room door behind him, thankful that you agreed to let him pick the store - a higher-end establishment that had their own “don’t ask - don’t tell” policy.
Though their promise to privacy wasn’t the only reason he’d chosen them, seeing their best lace draped across your body against the mirror and warm lighting made every thought leave his mind, eager to start making use of the lingerie.
“I thought you would like some company to see how it looks,” the hero can’t help but bite his lips, wings fluttering in excitement despite his cool tone, “maybe even see how well it works?”
You caught his meaning quickly, ignoring the burn in your cheeks to hit him lightly before your arms moved to cover your body, hoping it would strike some sense into your partner, “Keigo! We’re the only ones in the store and they could check on us at any moment! Be rational!”
“I am being rational, you look so fuckin’ good all dolled up like this, I already made up my mind that I’m buying it for you,” a switch in Hawks flipped, pulling you in for a messy kiss before pushing you to the wall, dragging his lips down your body as he dropped to his knees, tugging on the thin bottoms with his teeth, “ain’t it fair that I get to be the one to undress you in it? All you have to do is enjoy the ride and cum in my mouth before the worker gets too suspicious.”
Shouta Aizawa | Eraserhead
Hoping Shouta would forget it was your anniversary, you wanted to surprise him when he got home from patrol with a new lingerie set - handpicked with the help of Nemuri. What you didn’t account for, however, was him coming home early, walking into your apartment to catch you wearing only half the set, the top half’s strings tangled in your fingers.
“I - I - um...didn’t expect you home so early.” You couldn’t help but stutter as heat rose to your cheeks, giving up on untangling the top half to cover your chest with your hands, “ was supposed to be a surprise, but I couldn’t figure out how to put it on.”
The silence felt heavy, you were too embarrassed to get up from the floor and properly greet him, so you went still, chewing on your bottom lip as your hands cupped your breasts, waiting for Shouta to say anything.
“...this is for our anniversary isn’t it?” If you had lifted your head to look at him, you would have seen that his eyes were locked onto your bare skin, licking his lips and trying not to get ahead of himself or lose control, “that means I get to do whatever I want to you, doesn’t it? We can worry about how to put it on after I fuck you, but for now...for now, let me see those pretty tits of yours.”
Hitoshi Shinsou
Another grumble fell from Hitoshi’s lips as he flipped around on the couch, scrolling on his phone trying to pass the time until you let him back in the bedroom when he realized another hour had passed since you banished him to the couch, eager to uncover what was so important that you couldn’t have him in the room to see.
“(Y/N)?” He was desperate and annoyed, knocking on the bedroom door to get your attention before calling your name again, activating his quirk with a grin as he heard your reply, “be a good girl and let me into our bedroom.”
Hitoshi knew you would be mad that he used his quirk on you, but at least he wasn’t alone on the couch anymore, meaning to release his quirk as soon as you let him in, though it was useless as soon as he got his eyes on you, wearing a cosplay inspired lingerie set of his hero costume, a whole mess of other sets scattered across the floor in front of your closet.
“Circle for me, let me see how you look,” the words left his mouth before he could stop himself, making himself comfortable on the edge of the bed as you twirled for him, unable to do otherwise, the embarrassment adding up with every moment you were under his quirk. “Good take a seat on my lap and I’ll release you from my quirk so we can really have some fun.”
Hanta Sero
The two of you were more giddy than embarrassed to get home, the expensive fabric and toys packed nicely together in your bag for you both to enjoy. Hanta doing his best to keep a lid on his excitement so you wouldn’t feel pressured to do anything if you stopped being up to it.
It felt like you were back on your first date, too happy and excited to form a comprehensible string of words that would count as conversation. While you ran to the bedroom to show off your new purchases, Hanta stayed back to make sure the door was locked to avoid any interruptions before leaving a trail of his clothes down the hall, already hard and eager to see how you looked in the lingerie.
And for once in his life, Hanta was speechless, watching you shuffle awkwardly in place as he took in the way the lingerie accentuated your body, trying to think of a compliment that wouldn’t expose just how turned on he was, sporting a wide smirk as he circled you like a hungry predator, letting his hands wander to your thighs as he completed one round. “You look so pretty like this, it’s almost a shame that I have to take all this off.”
“Y-you don’t have to take it off,” you bit back a moan as he sucked on the pulse point in your neck, his large hands rubbing your nipples over the thin fabric, swallowing your embarrassment to cave into your desires, “you can make a mess of me while I wear this, tie me up and make me cum like a pretty doll.”
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kadywicker · 3 months ago
Hi! Im same anon from few weeks ago thanking you for getting me into the magicians bc dopamine etc and rn Im watching s4 (near end but im rationing it. kinda) but i dont really filter spoilers so Ive seen stuff from s5 and I have to say... every single thing I read/see sounds like a fever dream and not even a fun one. What is going on? I'm not sure i want to know.
oh my god it’s miserable man i’m so sorry. s5 is..... so bad fasdfasdf i avoided watching it for a year bc i didn’t want to waste my energy trying to p*rate it. but i watched it last weekend and let me tell u..... not worth it! there’s a couple episodes that are like? okay? i guess? but mostly it’s just. terrible writing. sexism. homophobia. nonsensical plots. bad writing. more shitty writing. like. there’s some spoilers below so don’t click if u dont want spoilers but in case u want to know what’s going on (warning for spoilers and a huge wall of text):
there’s too much magic now so spells are going off the shits bc there’s so much magic. there’s a harmonic convergence coming up which will make magic go even MORE wild. a pig man from fillory shows up saying there’s going to be an apocalypse and he needs quentin to help. julia says oh shit sorry quentin’s dead but i can do it but the pig man says only STRONG MEN can do it so he fucks off to try and go find a man for the quest. julia decides to stop the apocalypse anyway, which she thinks is the harmonic convergence. so much fucking shit happens long story short they end up DESTROYING THE MOON. they crack the moon like an egg and eliot and margo get trapped in a timeloop caused by sentient whales practicing magic to keep the kraken at bay. margo gets out of the time loop leaving eliot who figures out what to do! and sends himself back in time to stop the moon from cracking. yay world saved. MEANWHILE IN FILLORY eliot and margo were thrown 300 years into fillorys future where the dark king rules. he’s got? fucking zombies or some shit hes “fighting”? i dont know i wasnt sober for half of this season. they’re hunting fairies. eliot talks about quentin in one (1) episode and cries a little before sending quentin a letter in the underworld. earlier in the episode he tried to fuck the dark king. after that he does not bring up quentin a single other time bc gay men do not get to have compelling love stories and he spends the rest of the season mooning after the dark king he met for 3 seconds before deciding actually HES the love of his life, not quentin. fen and josh are dead in the past and margo and eliot change the timeline like three times to save fen and josh! wow yay! also they can’t save quentin bc changing the timeline would be bad and disrespectful :( they can save fen and josh by altering the timeline though! at one point alice tries to make a golem of quentin to answer some questions about a page in a weird language she found in his desk but she brings back child quentin instead and he dies so it’s whatever. after the moon shit, they’re trying to find this seed that’s depicted on that page of quentin’s bc it’s the World Seed and can create whole new worlds! which is convenient bc turns out that apocalypse was NOT the apocalypse on earth but an apocalypse on fillory they think the dark king is gonna cause. turns out no, they’re going to cause it, they need to destroy fillory to stop the dark king from bringing back an army of the dead to bring back his gay lover bc gay mean are evil and bad >:( and before they destroy fillory they need to get all the fillorians in a pocket world and then put them on a new world they build with the world seed. so much shit happens i don’t even know. there’s a heist. there’s a musical episode that’s also the heist episode. eliot makes out with alice AND kady in this episode bc god likes to see me suffer. there’s a new chatwin! she’s great her name is plum and she can travel through time! she uses these time saving abilities to save hyman- you know, the really sexist perverted ghost that spies on people? yeah well she saves him. even though the narrative forbids saving quentin, they can save that fucking guy. julia is pregnant with penny 23′s baby but it’s a Super Pregnancy bc it’s red monkey month in fillory which means it goes faster. and she’s getting affected by the baby’s abilities to travel and be Psychic. fucking charlton is there he was still in eliot’s head the whole time and he gets out of eliot’s head to bother eliot but no one else can see him so they give him hyman’s body bc hyman wants to be a creepy ghost still. quentin gets brought up a few times but mostly to talk about how he ~sacrificed for those he loved~ or what the fuck ever and also to hammer in more quentin/alice like they didn’t have a like 3 month toxic relationship and he had a FIFTY YEAR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE TO A MAN AND HAD AN ENTIRE CIHLD WITH HIM but ya know alice is the true love of his life bc they’re a man and a woman <3 <3 <3 the moon is sentient? i guess? there’s symbiotic aliens? fogg gets trapped in a magic acid induced drug alternate reality? and evil fogg from another timeline ends up coming through and fucking shit up? regular fogg gets back and has to hold a cat to stay sane bc all the insanity goes into a cat? fen, margo, ALICE?, and josh end up creating new fillory bc thats definitely the list of people that knew and loved fillory the most (definitely not eliot who was high king of fillory and sPENT 50 YEARS ON FILLORY WITH A HUSBAND AND SON no no he wouldn’t know about fillory), and disappear to their new fillory. the phrase “ovary up” is used no less than 7 times during the season and in the episode descriptions. kady’s barely mentioned as to what she’s doing post finale. eliot is a professor now and oh in the last FOUR FUCKING MINUTES WITH NO BUILD UP charlton kisses him and they go upstairs to fuck <3 the dark king was getting catfished by his brother martin btw bc the dark king is actually rupert chatwin and he ends up in a time bubble with jane and that’s fine while martin gets trapped in the library or some shit i don’t know. oh and plover is still alive and doing relatively fine compared to other characters who are like, dead. fen sympathizes with him isn’t that nice. there were at least 5 different opportunites to bring quentin back and they didn’t bring quentin back or leave opportunity for that. it’s bad. santa shows up for a minute? alice gets her fingers cut off and sewn back on and can’t do magic w one hand now but she’s a master magician so it turns out fine. there’s a line about “her lunacy identifies as she/her” talking about the moon, as if the magicians has any room to make pronoun jokes when they’ve had 2 trans characters that both died and weren’t even textually trans. at one point it turns out josh and fen fucked and margo tries to kill fen in a fit of jealousy and there’s a love triangle situation. fen is now a werewolf too btw. in conclusion! it fucking sucks.
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aghashiii · 3 months ago
lemme get 1 thing clear- you make me want to pick up the pen or put down the keyboard because your prose honestly fills me with inspiration and your writing is intensely fun and easy to read (while still retaining a personality that is unique to your blog, i’ve seen many imagines blogs in my day and you’re one of the most recognizeable by style.) vivid imagery and great metaphors and esp GREAT characterization, you breathe life into the characters you write so much so that i can read any one you wrote for and get lost in the 2d husband dimension!
anyways i’m also gonna send u an emergency headcanon request if u don’t mind, an ex-friend completely shit talked me behind my back and is lying 2 people about me, and i’m ultra paranoid of people hating me and talking behind my back so it’s a pretty bad situation. BUT um i’m not gonna confront or have people confront this person, i just need some comfort for an s/o that’s entirely overwhelmed w this to the point of paranoia and dread. i guess if i were to sum it up in a short prompt it’d be “how hq boys help talk to/empathize s/o who’s being harassed”
ideally in time skip verse, i’d like oikawa sugawara tsukki and hinata, if not all 4 oikawa is my LOML so you can do him + whoever. love you lots. oh and also! say hello to ur new emoji anon (☔️)
; The way I screamed-- you’re so sweet! Thank you, thank you so much! And I put a rush on this, I hope it’s alright.
; 1/19/21
; Part of my Headcanons!
; TW: Harassment, fake friends
𝗢𝗶𝗸𝗮𝘄𝗮 𝗧𝗼𝗼𝗿𝘂
♡ Oikawa’s certainly used to harassment due to years of being a pretty boy, but never in a million years did he think that someone would dare hurt you. Especially not someone you were once close to! At the first sign of your pain, he’s furious. But more than anything? He’s hurt. Knowing how this scenario is something you’ve feared since childhood, something about it just hurt him. However, he’ll push it all aside to hug you from behind and mumble sweet nothings in your ear.
♡ In that moment, he’s focused on nothing but you. Quelling every lie they’ve told, making plans on how to handle the situation, and placing gentle kisses along your tear-stained cheeks the entire time. If you don’t want to talk about it? That’s perfectly alright, he already ordered pizza and has your favorite song playing! To distract you after the matter, he’ll dance with you. Calloused hands holding yours as he carries you through a mindless melody. The main thing he wants you to know is that you’re not alone, and you’ll overcome this together.
♡ Actually, it would be fairly hard to see just how mad he is at first. You likely wouldn’t know until he’s calling that person out on national television. Right after a game, win or lose, he’ll stride up to the cameras and passively aggressively threaten that person with a smile innocent as a child’s eyes. He won’t mention your name, of course, just give them a sweet reminder to back off before he stops playing nice. <3
- ♡ -
“Baaaaaabyyyy~...look here, look at me.” His smile felt gentle as silk against their cheek as he freckled kisses all over tear-stained skin, their hiccups and stray sobs quelled by his quiet hums. “I hate this so much, Tooru. I-I want it to stop, I don’t feel saf-” Oikawa tutted. “But you are. You are in our home, in my arms, angel. We’ll handle them later, what matters right now is you. Remember, these are all lies from an insecure asshole who doesn’t know when to stop. That’s not on you, and never will be.” Soft cotton tickled their arms when he wrapped the fleece around their figures, his left arm draped across their back like a protective blanket.
“But they’ve said so much, they hate me! And what will everyone think? You know how bad rumors can get…” (F/n) sighed into the expanse of his shoulder. “I do. But lucky for you, your boyfriend is a world-famous setter with access to the internet! Don’t you worry, angel, this’ll be handled by morning.” He laughed softly. “You have so many people who love and adore you, don’t let this one idiot ruin everything. Breathe, angel, we’ll be okay.”
𝗦𝘂𝗴𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗮 𝗞𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶
♡ Sugawara has a heart of gold, never assuming the worst of a situation and always giving people the benefit of the doubt. However, your ex-friend was that one special exception. From the start, he was always wary. As a result, out of these four, he’s the first to find out about the harassment. He tackles the situation with the sweetest of smiles, but the nastiest of threats. Even if it’s just a text message he sent while you were looking away, or a friendly confrontation on the street, he wants you to know that he’s there for you.
♡ At the end of the day though, everything’s forgotten as he does something trivial with you. A face mask, even a card game, he’ll pour all the love and admiration that he can into something simple so that you’re not overwhelmed. Even just cuddling to the resplendent hum of early nightfall. It’s obvious in the way his hands caress yours that he doesn’t intend to let anything like this happen again. 
♡ Sugawara’s not a silent lover, but he knows just how rewarding some quiet time can be after a traumatic event. But if you want? Please, he’s already got an entire script ready. There’s so many things to love about you, he can and will go on for hours! But for your sake and his, he’d focus on the things that person targeted. All the lies, he’ll list all the reasons they aren’t true. All the insecurities exposed, he’d calm and reassure with a gentle kiss. 
- ♡ -
“Hey, (F/n), should we do this clay mask or this peel-off one? I forgot which one you preferred.” Sugawara shrugged sheepishly, smile dissipating ever so slightly at their teary eyes. “Suga, this is serious...I’m scared.” He sighed softly, hands cupping their cheeks as a tender kiss pressed to their forehead. “I know you are, my love, but it’s okay. This is just one person out of seven billion. You’ve handled so much, you’ve made it so far, this is just another bump in the road, yeah?” Slender fingers caressed hunched shoulders, honey eyes somehow holding the same adoration they did back in high school. “They’ll all hate me…” He tilted his head, nose scrunching in utter confusion.
“What? Baby, no! You really think they’ll believe some bitter idiot? If they do, then they weren’t worth having around in the first place. But I can assure you, they won’t. They all love you so much! I love you more though…” He winked playfully, relishing in the soft giggle escaping bitten lips. “This is just another day, and we’ll get through it, just like we always do. Now then, clay or charcoal?”
𝗧𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮 𝗞𝗲𝗶
♡ At the first hearing of your harassment, the dry smile he adorns is borderline morbid as he silently plans all the ways he’d return the favor. You’d have to calm him down before anything else ensures, but that doesn’t take much, he’s always had a soft spot for you. As his breathing evens out, he’d pull you into his chest and mutter about how “pathetic” and “repulsive” this person is. After that though? He’s peering down at you with the softest of gazes. Telling you in his own way just how wrong this person was.
♡ As much as he’s tempted to storm out and belittle them to nothing more than childish insecurities, what he wants more than anything is for you to feel safe again. And so, he’ll wrap his sweater around you before pulling you into his lap. No words are shared from then, just his hand caressing your back as the other skips through his playlist to find the song you liked. Even if it takes all night, he’ll stay there as long as needed to help you feel at home again. 
♡ Tsukishima’s not the best with his words unless he’s being snarky, but his hands say enough for him. As they card through your hair, scroll through memes to make you laugh, trace circles along your palms, even just playfully squeeze at your cheek, it’s evident that he’s doing his best because that’s what you deserve. And if needed? He’ll tell you that.
- ♡ -
“Seriously, they said that?” Tsukishima deadpanned, lemongrass and honey-scented kisses pressed to their cheek at the sight of a feeble nod. “Pathetic, they’re pathetic. And you-” He pulled back, scoffing quietly as his index finger poked at plush cheeks. “Don’t you dare let this get to your head, (F/n)... No, no, look at me. Tell me you don’t believe them.” Despite his cold facade, lithe fingers felt warmer than sunlight as they rested atop their shoulders. “I don’t, they’re lying, but what if other people do?” Silence, then a sudden laugh.
“Oi, seriously? If they do, then clearly, they’re just as pathetic. Trust your friends, (F/n). At least the ones I’ve approved...a couple of childish lies won’t make a dent. What I’m going to do to them however, absolutely will.” He grinned slowly at the sight of their pout, teary eyes staring upwards as they met his. “Look, you’re an incredible person. It’s not your fault they can’t see that. And they’re on their own in whatever hell they dragged you into, because nobody else will believe them. You’re okay, (F/n)’re safe with me.”
𝗛𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘆𝗼
♡ He’s a ray of sunshine, so honestly, he is so?? confused?? What’s there to even say about you? You’re royalty to him! And he’ll tell you, ranting on and on about how they’re just an idiot because you’re more than perfect. Insecurities and all! In fact, those insecurities are some of the things he loves most about you. All the little quirks in your personality, down to the random marks painting your skin. 
♡ At the sight of your sad eyes, he’ll pull you into the biggest of hugs! Just as a reminder that he’s there, and you’ll be okay. He knows about your fears, so he does his best to be a grounding presence for you. Hardworking hands would trace your skin gently, lips parting as he replaces every lie they’ve told with something to love about you.
♡ Don’t be fooled though. The moment he knows you feel safe again, he’s hunting this person down and giving them a piece of his mind no matter where they are. What’s funny? He’ll sound personally betrayed, as if hurting you hurt him as well; because it did. Seeing you in pain hurts worse than a thousand arrows, your smile is what drives him to keep going. And so, he makes sure it’s the same for you! Whenever you need it, no matter the time, he’ll always be there to remind you that you’re safe in his arms.
- ♡ -
“Woah, what? No, what??” Hinata paused, taking a moment to press his fingers against mussed hair as if summoning strength. “But that doesn’t even make sense, why would they do that to you?” A small shrug was all it took for his arms to wrap around their waist, his nose rubbing affectionately against theirs. “I don’t know, I’m just worried.” (F/n) sighed, eyes falling half-lidded at the warm scent of strawberries and honeysuckle. “Well, don’t be! Your friends aren’t dumb like they are, they’ll know what’s true and what’s not! And if they’re confused, then we’ll just fix that too. This doesn’t last forever, sunshine!”
He pulled away to flash the brightest smile he could muster, auburn eyes practically radiating adoration when his eyes met theirs. “Remember back in high school? Rumors happened every day! We made it then, we’ll make it now.” Shoyo pressed short yet tender kisses along their features, laughing happily. “Let’s go cuddle, m’kay? I miss your smile, so I’m gonna bring it back! Don’t worry, (F/n), we’ll fix this.”
Word Count: 1850
Not Edited
- Ky♡♡
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tsukishumai · 3 months ago
May I request 30 from fluff with Hinata? 💕💕 I love him soo much🥺
I, too, love Hinata so much :( ty for the request, bb!
Send me a prompt + ur fav character here :)
30. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.
Word count: 800+
A/N: I hope u like it, anon! 🥺
You were lounging around on the couch in your living room, enjoying a rare day off and attempting to catch up on some much needed rest, when you hear the incessant buzzing of your phone from somewhere in your apartment.
You pat your hands along your blanket, grumbling a little when you were unable to find your phone. You look around for the small device, wondering where the hell you had left it when you spotted it vibrating along the kitchen counter. Quickly, you threw the blanket off your legs, wincing a little at the sudden cold as you ran over to answer the call before you missed it.
“Hello?” You answered without checking who was ringing you.
It took a moment for the call to connect, the silence on the other end abruptly shifting into loud chatter and thumping music in between crinkling static.
“Hello?” You say one more time.
Your name came out slightly muffled, but your heart skipped a beat at the voice calling out your name.
“Yaaayy, you answered,” he slurred into the receiver, “I was worried you’d be asleep.”
“Shoyo, it’s,” you pull back your phone to check the time, “three in the afternoon here. Why would I be asleep?”
“Aw, man,” he groaned out, and you could already imagine the way he must be stomping his foot in the ground, “I forgot you were in Japan.”
You giggled at his comment, extremely amused at the drunken call you were getting in the middle of the day. You did a little mental calculation; it must be about 3 am in Brazil.
“What’s up? Why’d you call?” You were grinning as you spoke, making your way back to your spot on the couch.
“Can’t I just call my best friend?! Maybe I missed you or something,” He whined, and you ignore the way your heart fluttered, hearing a crowd in the background chanting ‘shots, shots, shots!’. You stay silent as you hear Hinata cheer back something in Portuguese, your face practically cringing as you listen to him gulp down whatever liquid was handed to him.
“Sounds like you’re having fun,” you commented, imagining what it would be like to be in Brazil, standing next to him and raising a shot glass in celebration.
“Izz Heitor’s birthday,” Hinata managed to buzz out, and the background music began to fade away as Hinata made his way out of the crowded bar. “Whatcha doing?”
“Nothing, really,” you say, grabbing the remote from the table and absentmindedly flipping through the movies on Netflix, “It’s my day off, so I’m just chilling at home.”
Hinata sighed out wistfully, “Man, wish I waz there.”
You scoffed a little. “What do you mean? You’re out partying in Brazil. That’s way better than being stuck at home with me. “
“Sayz who?” Hinata retorted, “I’ll fight them.”
You laughed at his response, grabbing a pillow from the other end of the couch and holding it against your chest, “Well, for what it’s worth, maybe i missed you too... or something.”
At this, Hinata chuckled, letting out a low hum and you visualize him closing his eyes. “Want you in Brazil instead of Japan. S’not the same. People are different here. S‘different here.”
You smile sadly, fiddling with the corners of the pillow, biting your lip as you responded, “There are lots of nice people in Brazil. Maybe you’d find them if you weren’t outside, talking to me.”
“I’ve met lotsa people,” he defended himself, “I got friends! Pedro finally started talking to me!”
You snicker, recalling all the times Hinata had complained about his aloof roommate. “Well congrats! You got friends! Why don’t you go find yourself a girlfriend?”
“Huh?!” Hinata sounded extremely offended, “Why would I do that?”
“Why not?” You question, twisting the corners of your blanket into knots, “Don’t you wanna find love in Brazil?”
“Pfft, what do you mean?” Hinata was barely comprehensible at this point, but you still heard every word clearly, “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. I already found love, itzzin Japan. Duh.”
You stayed silent, goosebumps raising all along the expanse of your skin as you listened to Hinata chortle like he just said the funniest joke.
“Love in Brazil,” Hinata repeated, breathing out a final chuckle, “You saythe funniest things, Y/N-chan.”
It was funny, really. You had so many chances to confess to him before he left for Brazil, but something always held you back. With Hinata on track to leave the country, you figured there was no point in pursuing a person you would never be able to catch up to. He had created such amazing opportunities for himself, and you couldn’t help but feel you would only ever weigh him down.
But now, at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon, Hinata Shoyo called from a foreign country, and drunkenly told you all the things you’ve ever wanted to say to him.
“I love you, too, you know.”
And even from 10,000 miles away, he was still the one giving you courage.
“You better tell me that again when I get back,” Hinata threatened, and you bursted out laughing.
“I will.”
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jjksecrets · 3 months ago
I cant say it with enough words how depaysement drive me crazy 😳
Thinking of the au, the zenin probably think that they have sumn over gojo and go as far to “threaten” him like if u dont do this, she’ll be harmed sort of way. Jokes on them, gojo would not be so far to take reader in every sort of way in front of them after a meeting or sumn /////// (i’m so sorry if i made u uncomfortable)
Dépaysement —
— Fools
|| Dépaysement AU: Fools
The content below will contain themes that may upset some reader, read the warnings carefully and by scrolling further, you have given your consent to read these content.
Warnings: underage reader, underage sex, nsfw, slight exhibition, adult/minor, degradation, slight gore
Notes: Uwaah thank you anon!! I'm glad to see you're enjoying it as much as I do~ feel free to send in your wildest AUs for this, I am loving it so much!
Pairing: Gojou Satoru x F!reader
*story set in the prime age of sorcery.
Gojou didn't try to hide his frustrations at their ridiculous babbling. Evidence lies in his dramatic roll of eyes, lips parting to let out a groan and interrupting their words, one hand propped his cheek.
"You seem to be very relaxed, Gojou Satoru. Know that Y/N is still our property and—"
Pathetic squeaks from the elders echoes in the room. The one who spoke, who didn't even get to finish his sentence was sliced so cleanly and quickly that the body hadn't even split into half until a few seconds later.
"Don't even dare to speak her name, you filthy scum."
Blue eyes glowered down onto their shaking figures—despite them trying very hard to conceal their fear of the strongest.
The man gestures his hand to one of the servants, lazily waving with a bored look on his face. "Clean it up." He grumbled, cheek squished and lips pouting, it was scary how someone could change so drastically in the span of seconds.
The air paused, silence filling it with such tension, no one dared to speak, no one dared to look.
A sudden perk from the man and his brightened look confused the elders, their brows furrowed when Gojou glances towards the door. "Come in!"
The sturdy door silently slid open, revealing a bashful looking young girl with her head bowed, her eyes glided towards her owner.
"My summoned me?"
In an instant, Gojou's foul mood was fixed as he gestures for her to come to him, surprising the small girl when he patted his lap, got a small yelp of embarrassment when he forcefully pulled her towards himself.
"M-My Lord..." She whined, shutting her eyes closed when he pressed his soft lips onto her skin. Her loose clothing slipped off her shoulder, allowing all in the room a view of her delicate skin.
Her cheeks immediately flushed bright red when she realizes just what position she was in. Placed on Lord Gojou's lap as she faces dozens of people in front of her. She didn't like this, she didn't like being seen by somebody else when being touched so lewdly, she only liked it when it's with Lord Gojou and Lord Gojou alone only and yet somehow, she could feel heat pooling in her core, she could do nothing but to endure his touches in front of so many.
"You think you could order me around with her, huh?" Although a smile plastered on his lips, Gojou was seething on the inside. It was disgusting how these people quickly took in his pet's body with bulging eyes. He ought to finish this quickly but he'll have a little fun for a while, he'll have fun torturing them. Showing them what they could never have.
"She's mine. You gave her to me, remember?" Gojou ignored the girl's pleads, receiving another pleasurable sigh when his finger ghosted over her clothed sex. "Besides, I don't care what happens to this whore."
She froze, breath caught in her throat as she looks up to the older man, trying to search for comfort but to no avail. He wasn't even looking at her.
"You'll have to try harder, you disgusting perverts."
Gojou's voice only got deeper and more threatening, demanding them to get out before they end up like their foolish comrade.
Gojou shielded her body with a raise of his arm, the large, long sleeve aided to block any wandering eyes.
He stared her down, void of any emotions and she silently whimpered, gaze cast down in a futile attempt to hide her watering eyes.
Caressing her cheek with a thumb, his grip on her chin only got tighter, forcing her to look up in uncertainty.
"M-My Lord—!"
Gojou loved the little sounds she'd make, loved surprising her everyday just to hear those cute little noises and see those blush. It was one of the few things that made him this worked up as he pressed himself against her, grinding slightly.
The only thing securing her clothes were stripped off as she was exposed to the cool air, nipples hardened with the slightest touch from him.
"Why? Are you upset that I called you a whore? You are, though. Is that not true?" His chuckled deepened when she only let out short moans and incoherent words, relishing in the way his finger rubbed circles on her soft folds. "Admit it. Admit it and I'll fuck you like the cute little whore you are."
Her lips trembled, tears threatening to spill again at his merciless words. Nontheless, she obeyed, she followed his words because she was, indeed, a whore just for him.
"I-" She swallowed, placing the back of her hand against her lips before looking at him, hooded with lust as a drunk-like smile formed on her lips. A smile she knew he loved most.
"I am...a whore, for Lord G-Gojou..." She panted, eyes closing and head thrown back at the immense pleasure, at the rough yet precise stimulation he was giving her. "P-Please...My Lord. Please...—" Her lips parted and lets out a silent cry, body jerking as she rides her high out on his fingers.
Gojou huffed, staring down on the girl beneath him full of bliss and pleasure before forming a wide grin.
His little whore had asked so nicely, why not give her what she wants?
194 notes · View notes
sankyeom · 4 months ago
belle’s 2020 tumblr wrap up
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i almost didn’t make one of these because i lost my laptop charger on my flight home to california and i didn’t want to type this out on my phone but after being tagged in so many people’s wonderful end-of-year messages (thank you @sunlightwoo​ @heartyyjeno​ @atbzkingdom​ @chaoticdeobi @xfirebenderx @fairyoftbz​ and for including me thus far 💗) i decided i had to join this beautiful love fest and end the year on a good note! 
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m i l e s t o n e s  (personal and for the blog) ✨
◇ on february 17th 2020 i started stanning (and eventually ulting) the boyz!   ↳ this is important because i had been listening to the boyz’s music since no air era, but never watched their videos or learned the members’ names. after stanning the boyz, i was introduced to my beautiful deobiblr, which is such a warm and welcoming community. i met most of treasured mutuals through this community and honestly don’t know what i’d do without it!
◇ on april 23rd 2020 i reached 1,000 followers on my blog!     ↳ this was very special to me because i have previously reached 1k followers on many different platforms (, wattpad, a different tumblr blog, etc.) but after not writing for a long time i was worried people wouldn’t like my writing anymore or that i wouldn’t be good at it after taking a break. reaching this number was surreal for me and it made me realise that i wanted to study creative writing in university, which i am now doing!
◇ on may 30th 2020 i graduated high school!   ↳ i graduated with honours and a 4.0 along with a lot of life-long friends that i had made in the two years i spent at my competitive, college-prep private school. i faced a lot of hardships but eventually got through it and i am a better person for it. congratulations to all the graduates who didn’t get the graduation they all dreamed of, you did something spectacular this year!
◇ on august 24th 2020 i started university as a creative writing major!   ↳ 2020 was a crazy year for everyone and it made picking which uni to go to really hard, but there was one uni in particular that loved my admissions essay and wrote to me personally saying they would love to have me in their creative writing program, which really touched me and interested me in this uni. i’ve always been someone who finds academics really important so i had gotten multiple scholarship offers from different “higher ranking” universities, but i was able to learn what was important to me in picking a school that would both foster my learning and make me feel at home.
◇ on september 21st 2020 i got my first ever B on a test!    ↳ and i was really happy about it. in high school i strived to get 100% on every test and would have panic attacks when i got even a single point off. i wish i was joking, but that’s the truth. i’ve always been a perfectionist and i wanted to have a more healthy relationship with my personal expectations in university. being in uni helped me to pace myself academically and learn to juggle doing fun things – like this lovely blog – alongside studying. i still managed to get all As in my final grades for this semester, but i really loved letting myself get Bs and take breaks. 
◇ on october 18th 2020 i reached 2,000 followers on my blog!   ↳ if you read how important reaching 1k to me was, you can probably guess how amazing and emotional this was for me. not only did i have enough followers to fill three of my high schools, but i had made a lot of friends at this point, and that was so special to me. i had also never done a special series to celebrate a milestone, and as i stand here on december 31st with 2,457 followers, i have yet to finish my 2k celebration due to taking a short break from writing. don’t worry though, it’s all coming very soon!
◇ on november 29th 2020 i reached 1,000 notes on a masterlist!  ↳ facade? was my first social media au masterlist to reach 1,000 notes and when that happened, it truly blew my mind. i have no words to describe how special that moment was for me. a lot of people loved it because they resonated with the main character or because they found all the plot twists fun, and i really love that so many people enjoyed it and gave it a chance, despite the general plot being quite common.
◇ on december 7th 2020 i reached 1,000 notes on a fic! ↳ he loves me, he loves me not was my first one shot/fic to reach 1,000 notes and my second fic ever to reach 1k notes, which was literally crazy. so many people have reached out to me about that fic and how much it resonated with them and their experiences, and i just loved that this was the first written fic i ever had reach 1k notes because of the emotional implications.
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m u t u a l s 💛
i have so much love and appreciation for you all, it’s unreal. i’m a very shy, often times insecure, and quiet person so i have a hard time reaching out to people. this means that minimal interactions actually mean a lot to me, so please never think that i don’t love or support you guys just because i’m a little quiet. that being said, here are some mutuals who i have gotten to know better in 2020 and a little love letter for you each 💌
💌 nani, you were one of my very first mutuals here on tumblr back when i ulted seventeen and literally never spoke to anyone or interacted with people other than the few anons in my inbox. you made me feel comfortable and welcome here on tumblr, and i’ve always seen you like an older sister figure because of that. your enthusiasm and support are often times unparalleled because you never hold back anything and i am in awe of how lovely you are. thank you for having my back this year and making me feel so supported! 🌟
💌 bea, you’re such a ray of sunshine and brightness in my life and on my dash, i’m in awe of how much of a social butterfly you are! you were one of the reasons i started writing for the boyz because i felt excited when i read your fics and i was extremely impressed with how immersive your writing was (and still is!). aside from your amazing writing abilities, you’re truly someone who i feel comfortable with even though we haven’t spoken that much privately, and you have an amazing gift of making people feel accepted and at home. thank you for being a wonderful brightness in my life this year! 🌼
💌 alesha, i’ve said this to you many times before but i truly treasure you as a person and as a friend. you are without a doubt one of the most supportive and uplifting people that i’ve met on tumblr, and i can always rely on you to make me feel like i’m loved and a good writer, especially on days where i feel like i’m neither. i know that 2020 has been a struggle for you and i wish i could have done more to support you, so i hope you take this love letter as evidence of how loved you are and how much i cherish you as a person and as a friend. thank you for being my rock this year! 🌷
💌 rosie, you are someone who is very dear to me and i always feel so lucky to be your friend! we’ve spoken quite a bit this year and i loved getting to know you and finding out we stan/ult so many of the same groups! i loved gushing over dark haired eric, seunghoon from cix, and blackpink’s comebacks with you this year so much because it made me feel much closer to you! you’re always one of the first people i send love chains to on tumblr and i just really appreciate your lovely energy every time we interact. thank you for being a caring friend for me this year! 🌹
💌 qiu, first of all your url change is absolutely adorable and i’m a huge fan. second of all, your writing is so stunning and it was also another reason why i wanted to start writing for the boyz this year! you’re somebody who i often see on my dash and try to interact with, and it always feels a little surreal when you gush over my writing because i look up to you in that sense. you are such a lovely friend who i don’t talk to very often because i’m shy, but i feel like you’re always around to remind me that you support me and just make me feel loved here on tumblr. thank you for being an inspiration to me and sending me so many cheerful love chains on tumblr this year! 🌻
@neoskidz (i wasn’t sure which of your blogs to tag so i’ll add @chocolattees just in case)
💌 elsie, i always feel undeserving of your hype and excitement when you comment on my fics or leave me lovely asks in my inbox to sing my (absolutely undeserving) praises. you’re someone who seems very bright and warm-hearted so i always feel comfortable around you, and i only wish i could have praised you and given you as much love as you did for me in 2020. i love when you randomly pop up in my inbox and i love to hear about how you’re doing because i feel like it’s the least i can do to show you that i support you and am always interested to hear what you’re up to! thank you for reminding me that friends can come from anywhere and for always being so compassionate this year! 💐
💌 k, i always look forward to when you reach the latest chapter of my social media fics because i’m always living to hear your reactions to them! i always feel so lucky that you interact with me and reach out so much because i’m shy and it makes it a lot easier for me to talk to you and actually get to know you. i love that we stan so many of the same groups and can always gush about cix and the boyz together, especially when we tag each other under any posts that have to do with blond baejin. you are honestly someone who i feel very relaxed with because we talk so often and have so many of the same interests, i really appreciate your presence in my life. thank you for being someone who i can talk to about my fics and all of our bias wreckers this year! 🌈
💌 dee, i’ve said this before but you’re a literal ray of sunshine to me and you warm me up like the sun with all of our interactions. i always love to hear your comments about my fics because you never hold back and always unleash so much excitement onto me that i can’t help but reciprocate and allow myself to get super hype and happy. you have an ability to make me open up and actually feel excited about my friendships here on tumblr and my own writing, which can be really hard for me sometimes. i’m blessed that you look up to me and i have to say that i absolutely look up to you as well, in more ways than just your writing! thank you for being my personal hype-man and helping me come out of my shell this year! ✨
💌 yu, i think you are seriously so damn talented it’s actually unbelievable. not only are you an amazing writer but your designs, sketches and other amazing works of art are just so inspiring and i find it incredible that you’re so multifaceted. you’re always someone who i think very genuinely wants to know how i’m doing and is always ready to catch up and share what you’re working on with me, and i find that really illuminating and fun because you’re so talented. thank you for reaching out to me so often and making me feel comforted this year! ❄️
💌 rosy, i am totally kicking myself right now for not reaching out as often as i wanted to because i feel like we get along well and we could be really close if i wasn’t so shy and bad at keeping up with my asks/mentions. i think you’re a lovely person and i’ve felt so fortunate to have gotten to know you better this year. as i mentioned before, you’re a very thoughtful person and i look forward to getting to know you better in 2021! thank you for being a supportive friend to me this year! 🪐
💌 gina, i adore you, and that’s the absolute truth. i’ve been so happy that we were able to connect this year and become friends because you are a fiercely supportive and lovely mutual to have. i have to thank the kpop gods for getting you to start standing the boyz so we could meet and be friends after all this time. i love how you yell and gush about my fics because it makes me feel like i’m actually writing something people like and not just rubbish that i come up with in my head, and you make me feel grounded and supported, which i can only hope to reciprocate just as enthusiastically to you! thank you for being a fiercly kind and supportive friend to me this year! 🌠
here are some people who i haven’t interacted with much (because, like i’ve said, i’m terribly shy and don’t interact with people much in general (feel free to reach out though i would love to chat 🥺)) but still wanted to mention! i love and appreciate you all for replying to my posts, recommending my fics or just posting really amazing content here on tumblr for us all to enjoy, and that i’d love to get to know you better in 2021!! @1ovejisung​ @jenoleeaesthetic @thepixelelf​ @honeycobie​ @tbzwurld​ @meltingjukyu​ @mae-gi-writes​ if i’ve forgotten everyone i’m terribly sorry but also very jetlagged and bad at keeping track of my friends xx
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a n o n s 🦋
i’m grateful to everyone who joined my anon list this year and i’ve genuinely enjoyed all of our interactions so much! i wanted to give a short thank you to a few specific anons but i also love my other anons, 🐝 anon, 🧸 anon, 💫 anon, 🦋 anon, 🥯 anon, 🍇 anon, 🌜 anon, 💒 anon, and 🦕 anon a lot and appreciate you all! thank you for joining my anon list and i hope we can continue to get to know each other in 2021!
🤍 anon 💌 you always check on me and ask me how i’m doing, and i feel so comfortable around you it’s like talking to a friend. we always talk about anything and everything and i appreciate that you’ve been such a constant in my life this year!
🌱 anon 💌 my sweet deobi 🌱 anon! i love gushing about the boyz and my social media fics with you, it’s always so fun to see how passionate you are and it’s honestly everything to me.
🐹 anon 💌 you really feel like a sibling or a friend to me because you’re always telling me to take care of myself and encouraging me to take breaks and be happy. i want everything that you encouraged me to do for you as well and i hope that you take care of yourself and stay healthy/safe!
🐱 anon 💌 literally the absolutely king/queen of getting involved in my fics and gushing to me about how every chapter made you feel. i love seeing your responses and i’m always so touched when you leave me simple messages telling me to have a good weekend or asking me to be your friend. we are absolutely, 100% friends my love!
🔮 anon 💌 you’re my most recent anon but i feel like we’ve known each other forever now! we talk quite often and i always love it when i see the little 🔮 emoji in my inbox because i love how enthusiastic and understanding you are. thank you for deciding to join my anon list so we could become closer!
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f o l l o w e r s   a n d   r e a d e r s 💘
i doubt that all 2,457 of my followers are going to see this, but i’m going to write this as if you all will anyway. thank you for being here and for caring about my content enough to hit the follow button. numbers don’t mean much and are quite arbitrary, but i still think that it’s amazing that there are 2,457 of you cuties who put up with me. to those of you who don’t follow me but read my fics/like and reblog my posts, thank you. i personally see those things as small praises and/or appreciations for my efforts and i wish i could tag you all here to tell you that i love and appreciate you, but tumblr won’t let me and i think most of you wouldn’t want that either. i couldn’t make a love letter to the people that shaped my 2020 without addressing all of you, so i hope that some of you decided to give this a read. i appreciate you and i want you here, healthy, and safe on this planet. please take care of yourselves as i would love to take care of you. x
34 notes · View notes
iwaisa · 4 months ago
request. hi!! idk if ur reqs are open but if they are can i ask for the reader (his s/o) asking asahi to design lingerie for them to model off for him personally and he gets hot and bothered by seeing them pose just for him? 😊 if not then sorry for bothering u~ - anon
a/n. ooo i like your way of thinking nonnie 👀
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asking asahi to design lingerie for you
- pairing. asahi x gender neutral reader
- genre. nsfw
- warnings. use of the pet name ‘honey,’ allusions to sex but there’s no actual smut :), post-timeskip, manga spoilers
- word count. 531
- a/n. i know nothing about clothing manufacturing and designing so </3 hopefully this is somewhat accurate 
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► now playing...
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when you first ask him if he’d be willing to design lingerie for you he wouldn’t actually think anything of it because !! you want him to design something for you and he’s so excited ! 🥺
he’d grab all of the materials right away, asking what colour you’d like, what type of material, how much lace, if you want garters and other details
then it starts to click as he’s really thinking about those ‘other details’
now he’s freaking out because he finished the basic outline of the outfit and now he needs your body and he’s just… not prepared at all
“s-stay still please,” he stuttered, the pin in his mouth causing his voice to become muffled. “i can’t asahi, the pins are so cold. and you’re tickling me.”
“sorry honey. i’m almost done though.” you nodded, lifting your gaze to the floor mirror in front of you. the lacey fabric hugged your body in all the right places, bringing a smile to your lips. your curves were accentuated by the material, and you felt really hot.
“‘m almost done,” asahi muttered once more. finishing the last stitch, your boyfriend stood up to study your figure. he knew your body was gorgeous, but goddamn he was practically suffocating right now.
his gaze lingered on your hips, where the waistband hugged your plush skin. he loved the way your thighs looked spilling out of the see-through tights and the way you moved in them. you were enticing right now.
“i could be your model, you know? this is so amazing, you could go big with your designs,” you smiled, your gaze landing on his through the mirror. all asahi could do was nod as you continued hitting pose after pose, each one sending the blood rushing to his cock. 
“you look stunning,” was all he could muster out. his palms were growing sweaty, and his cheeks were burning. the gaze he had locked onto your body as you moved around was practically lighting your loins on fire.  
“what do you think? about me being your model. you could set up a website and then people from everywhere could purchase your clothing,” you offered, placing your arms around his broad shoulders as you approached him.
“t-that would be really nice, but uhm… i’m not sure if i want pictures of my partner wearing lingerie on the website,” he mumbled, scratching his cheek with his pointer nervously. you jutted your bottom lip out, pouting at his answer. “don’t i look good though?”
yes, yes you did look good. more than good. amazing. spectacular. alluring. you were alluring. asahi attempted to stutter out an answer, quickly shutting his mouth as you grabbed his hands and ran them over your barely-clothed body.
he wanted so badly just to rip the lace right off your body, but he held himself back from doing so because one, you looked so happy wearing it, and two, he worked days and days on this project to ensure it would please you. 
“i- yes! yes, you look… amazing. so amazing,” he blurted out as he processed your question, learning in to press chaste kisses against the column of your throat. you sighed at the contact, pressing up against his body only to feel his obvious hard-on against your thigh. 
“a-asahi, are you-”
“yes. yes, and i’m sorry. you just looked so good and i couldn’t help myself. you’re so hot,” his mouth moved against your neck, fueling your arousal even more. you pushed yourself away from him, walking towards the door of his studio.
he watched as you bit your lip, motioning for him to follow. he instantly got the clue, quickly moving to trail behind, a stupid grin plastered on his face as you excitedly led him towards your shared bedroom.
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smut taglist. @otsut-writing​ @ash-writes-things​ @humanitysbiggestsimp​
273 notes · View notes
jasperwhitcock · 5 months ago
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equinox | chapter 07 –– “a cruel god, a wrathful goddess”
here is chapter six of my bella as a vampire and edward as a human fanfic inspired by an au that @bellasredchevy​​ posted. you can read the new chapter on AO3 or here. i post updates on AO3 or on tumblr using the #equinoxjw tag. but it seems 10/10 times my tag does not work, so that is a fun mystery for me to solve.
oof... sometimes u get distracted and then ur sister gets married and then u get unmotivated & d*pressed and forget to update ur fanfic for over three months... my bad y'all... sorry for the wait hehe. i hope it is worth it. again, i'm so thankful for the comments & i read them all. i get too shy to respond, but i WILL. i just need to talk myself up first. i love u. thank u. hehe. ♡♡♡ merry christmas/happy holidays if i fail u again before the 25th. i WANT to update more frequently. my catchphrase these days is "i'm trying my best," so... i'm trying my best.
this is for the sweet anons who slide into my ask box & ask me questions abt my fanfic. and for taryn, who consistently reminds me that there are people wanting to read this seeing as she is one of those people, kim, who i am so desperate to impress that i began working on a new chapter once she started to read my fanfic, and kae, because without her, this fanfic would never have existed in the first place. i love how i'm writing this as though it's the intro to an actual book when it's literally just chapter seven. ok, i will shut up now so u can read. love u. again.
In great contrast to the noisy ambience of the other students in the hallway, we were silent on our walk to our shared biology class. I wondered how conscious Edward was of the stares and whispers focused on our proximity to one another, but my guess was that he was very much conscious of it. I intentionally ignored glancing in any direction that I sensed one of my siblings’ presence, although I figured it was mostly paranoia driving me to feel as though we were about to cross paths. Holding my breath to more easily walk beside Edward left my senses impaired to the ability to pinpoint their location. 
I was lucky that for the majority of my immortal life, I’d managed to escape unwanted attention. But now, it seemed that precious luck had finally run out. Maybe embarrassment had been creeping up on me, maliciously building itself up all these years, waiting until just the right moment to rear its ugly head and exact revenge that immorality had stolen its favorite object of humiliation to torment. But here it was, ensuring that I was finally catching up on feeling awkward and out of step, a feeling I experienced for what seemed like the entirety of my human life. I thought once I’d been changed, I’d never feel this way again, but becoming misaligned with my family made me feel bashful to parade my defiance in their faces. I had operated better under no scrutiny as a mortal and was surprised to realize that that still held true as an immortal as well. Because though there was now never a struggle of staying upright or a risk of tripping over my own feet, that didn’t prevent me from feeling self-conscious as I walked beside Edward. Although for different reasons –– it was too mortifying to consider what my family might make of what my actions suggested about my feelings towards Edward.
And yet still, I would put up with the ridicule and disapproval of my siblings if it meant I could listen to Edward speak his silly philosophical theology, his questioning of god and existence, for just a few more hours. If I were going to be teased over Alice’s visions regardless, I might as well find out what I can about this pretentious boy before I leave him alone forever. If only to understand why his moving to this small town threatened to warp my own future so much. In losing night and in losing death, there were so very little anomalies in the endless amount of time I’d been given. So what would it hurt to allow myself to fixate on this minuscule difference in my life for just awhile?
It could hurt Edward, a more selfless part of myself reminded me. If indulging myself was playing with fire, I was being justly punished with the way flames were efflorescing the inside of my dry, burning throat.
If a god did exist, why would it make sense for such a being to craft someone like Edward with his perceptivity, and send him off to this small town, home to a secret such as ours? If a god did exist, why it would be fair for such a being to craft someone like Edward, someone who tempted me both in bloodlust and in curiosity, and send him off to this small town, home to the very vampire who desperately wished to kill him most? If a god did exist, if our kind had fallen short of heaven, I could understand why sending Edward into our path –– and more specifically, my path –– could be some kind of punishment. But what I couldn’t understand is why a god would allow someone as innocent as Edward to be endangered for the sake of bringing a sinful, undead creature to justice. It seemed the only reasonable explanation would be that a god probably did not exist. 
And how could there be? I was on the precipice of falling into temptation with every step further in the hallway and every question he asked and answered. I could never not be very much aware of the fact –– especially now with his body merely inches from my side and his sweet fragrance blooming both deliciously and relentlessly in the air. And even as I impossibly withstood the lure of his blood, how was I meant to ignore the irresistibility of his mind and how inexplicably concerned I was to understand it? It seemed like a very cruel experiment of free will and knowledge –– far too cruel to allow much room for the kind of god Edward hoped for.
I frowned as I realized that this experiment wasn’t that of a cruel god’s but that of a cruel vampire, and I felt very much like a vampire as the sound of his heartbeat was so appealing that it made my mouth water.
“Do the stares bother you?” Edward spoke quietly to me as we weaved throughout the hallway. Easily distracted, his question was able to pull the more civilized parts of myself together, though this was probably also in thanks to my choosing not to utilize my sense of smell. I found it funny that at least one of his thoughts had been in a similar vicinity. But of course, the rest of his thoughts were probably free of all consuming agony and struggle. For all his curiosity about morality, to inflict this existence upon him would probably devour him in misery. At least as a human, despite whatever conclusions he may come to, there was still some hope to be had for an afterlife. This thought should have been dark and depressing, but because it made Alice’s vision seem like a complete hoax, I almost found it funny. How would Edward ever end up like me?
“Oh, no,” I swallowed the venom in my mouth. “I live for attention.” I watched from the corner of my eyes as his gaze flickered over to me, the ever present half smile appearing on his face at my joke. My answer came out so comfortably as though I was used to this, when in reality, the student body for the most part had grown accustomed to ignoring me. And, of course, there was nothing comfortable about the demanding, aching dryness in my mouth or the burning in my nostrils. “How about you?”
“Likewise,” he joked, laughing. “This is interesting –– their fascination. I understood their interest on my first day because I’d guess a new addition to the student body in a town this small is something of a rarity, but today, walking by your side is garnering even more attention. Is it a once in a lifetime opportunity to have Bella Cullen walk you to class?”
“You’re just so observant, aren’t you?” I rolled my eyes, though the corners of my mouths pulled up despite myself. “And I’m not walking you to class. I’m walking to a class I just so happen to share with you, so don’t get the wrong idea. I think they’re just surprised because they’re probably under the impression that I don’t play nice with others.”
“And do you?”
“You tell me,” I replied, pausing to face him beside a wall of lockers next to the entrance of our biology classroom. As he stopped beside me, a gust of air from a passing student walking hastily down the hallway sent his scent reeling into me at an unfortunate moment where I’d chosen to breathe in. My muscles tensed to spring, and I desperately anchored myself to the floor as my mind fell into disarray.
“Nicely enough,” Edward winked naturally as though we’d been the best of friends since his first day. The demanding thirst was intruding on my awareness, and the desperation for something wet and hot and delicious in my desiccated throat was so dizzying that his voice sounded as though it were underwater. With an effort as though I were swimming through drying cement, I resurfaced, just barely proving my dominion over the desire. I focused on his voice so that it’d become clearer, forcing myself to take another excruciating breath in and exhale the fire out. “I will say I am honored to be the exception –– to be plucked from the masses by the renowned, reclusive Bella Cullen.”
With torturous effort, I snorted as though I wasn’t fighting everything within me to keep him alive. I breathed in again heavily, allowing my body to become a pyre so that I could speak. “Alright, that’s enough. Stop saying my name like that. And you’ve lost the privilege. I am never walking you to class again,” I rolled my eyes even though my joke could very much be the truth. The bunching of my muscles, the twitching of my hands, and the fierce pain in my throat reminded me of the fact. Before he could point out the contradiction of what I’d previously clarified, I sighed. “Let’s take this quiz.”
His pretty green eyes were alive with mischief and enlightened with what must be more answers to questions he hadn’t outright asked me as he turned to enter the classroom. I followed behind him towards our shared table.
Air from the vent rushed out, thrusting the scent of his blood wafting into my face again. I paused for an indistinguishable moment as I battled agony, murderousness, monstrosity. Holy fuck. What was I trying to prove! Was it really worth this? Swallowing hard, I sat beside him as though nothing happened. My suffering was so great that Emmett could have brutally ripped my arm off, he could have beat me with it, and I wouldn’t have noticed nor felt a thing. I could have been set on fire, and it’d feel like sinking into a cool pool of water on an even cooler day. I was already burning alive, my body acting as a furnace, and I was imprisoned inside it.
Without intending to, I sighed aloud, exhaling as though it would smother the flames. It was a stupid, attention seeking thing to do. Humans sighed to expel air or express some sadness or relief or exhaustion, so when my family emitted an audible breath, we did so as a means of blending in. But to breath out in a way to clue Edward into the fact something was plaguing me… it was a stupid invitation for more questions. And these were questions I had no intention of sharing the answers to. I felt his eyes on me, but before he could say anything, Mr. Molina began passing out quizzes face down on our lab tables as students continued to pile in from lunch.
“Alright, class. Today we have a pop quiz–– oh, come on, guys, don’t groan. You will have the opportunity to make corrections after these have been graded. This is just an assessment of what you’ve retained from this unit so far. You will have the entire period to complete–– thanks for joining us, Mr. Patterson, glad you could fit my class into your busy schedule. Why don’t you take your seat? –– You will have the entire period to complete your quiz. If you finish early, feel free to get a head start on this weekend’s homework! I’ve written the reading down on the board. Aw, I’m sure you’re all moaning because you’re disappointed at how light of an assignment it is because I just know how very excited you all are to continue your passionate pursuit of studying biology. Alright, now that everyone’s settled–– wait a minute––”  Mr. Molina paused, raising his pointer finger in the air, his eyes squinted in anticipation. Three seconds later, the bell signaled the beginning of class. “Begin!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward reluctantly turn away from me. In an elegant script, he wrote his name at the top of the paper and began his quiz. I turned away from him to look at my own paper, preparing myself to uncomfortably hold my breath for the next hour. The difference this made in my thirst was almost insignificant, but enough so that it gave me a tiny more leverage in my control. I smoothed out the pucker on my forehead with the eraser from my pencil, accidentally snapping the rubber off against my face. 
Absentmindedly, I began to breeze through the assessment, circling the correct answers, but my mind was more absorbed in the warmth of sitting beside Edward. Aside from the affliction of doing so, it was too pleasurable to have sat beside him so often and for so long today. I enjoyed the toastiness like a lizard basking in the sun. It made me recall the muddy human memory of laying out on a blanket in my backyard beneath my beloved blue Arizona sky, hiding beneath the small shade of a book. Not the blistering heat of a summertime Phoenix sun, but the warmth of the first day of spring. But the heat of Edward’s body alone was enough to fill my mouth with venom, so I tried to refocus my attention onto my quiz.
When I turned to the last page of questions, a motion beside me diverted my concentration once again. I peeked over, turning my head slightly in Edward’s direction to see what it was. As he thought over one of the questions, his right hand was moving peculiarly as he lifted and dropped down his long fingers almost as though he were impatiently tapping each digit one by one along the tabletop. Except the movement was more exact and calculatingly random. Engrossed, I watched as his his soft, fragile skin rippled over the muscle, the tendons appearing and disappearing with every bizarre movement. It took me a moment to make the connection between the large grand piano in his home and the motion of his hands. I realized he was miming piano movements while he thought through his answers. There was something both weird, funny, and endearing about this. I smiled to myself, not having the required oxygen to quietly laugh.
I felt his curious eyes flicker over to me and watched peripherally as he raised his eyebrows. I shook my head, biting down on my lip to unsuccessfully fight the smile, and returned to completing my quiz.
I finished a moment later and impatiently waited another ten minutes or so before I could turn in my work. I tried to ignore Edward for this small period of time at least, mentally reading myself the opening chapter to Wuthering Heights. Even though the words were committed to my memory, it was still never as good as actually reading from the book itself.
Once I’d decided an appropriate enough time had passed, I stood up to walk my quiz to the completed basket on Mr. Molina’s desk. Even having waited, I was still the first to finish the examination.
“Thank you,” the teacher whispered without breaking his focus away from the crossword puzzle he peered through his glasses at. I breathed in now that I’d placed some distance between myself and Edward, gladly facing the cool, fresh air from the vent.
“Neophyte,” I whispered back now that I’d replenished my oxygen supply.
“Excuse me?” He glanced up, his slightly aged face confused.
“Neophyte,” I repeated. “Eight across, two down.”
I took in one last clean breath and walked back to my seat as he tapped his pen across the squares of the space, mouthing his count of the letters to check if the word fit.
As soon as I took my place in my seat again, Edward stood up to walk his own quiz to the basket.
I wanted to watch him, but instead I forced myself to unzip my backpack and retrieve the biology textbook.
Busying myself with the assigned chapters, deciding to actually read them so as to not feed into my invasive Edward obsession, I couldn’t help but listen as Edward too placed his own textbook on the countertop.
I heard the scribble of pen on paper as he began to write what I imagined were notes until his large hand slid the paper over to me beneath the wall of my hair spilling over the desk. Well, I wouldn’t ignore him if he was the one deciding to bother me.
You know I’m pretty certain that cheating is a violation of the student handbook, but I’ll let you get away with it just this once.
I turned to glance at his face to see if he were serious. His eyes were warm and inviting, his mouth in the same crooked smile.
I took the piece of paper and looked around for my writing utensil that had gone missing somehow. My eyes zeroed in on a suspicious, tiny pile of wood dust on my side of the desk. When had I brutalized my pencil? He held his hand out to offer his own pen, and I accepted it, carefully plucking it from his fingers without making contact.
I wasn’t cheating. You were doing something funny. And what do you know about the student handbook? You’re new.
I slid the paper and pen back to him and watched as he combed a hand through his bronze hair, reading my response. The smile grew wider as he construed the biting tone of my note. 
Can I be let in on the joke? Edward wrote, turning to look at me once he was done. Again I was prisoner, though this time not to my own body. I was momentarily held hostage by the beauty and warmth of his light green eyes. I was understanding more and more the attraction the other students had for him. If I had a soul, it was as though he were staring straight into it.
I recovered, placing my hand atop the desk and then wiggling my fingers as though I were weaving my way through a very complicated piano piece.
Oh, Edward mouthed, immediately understanding. He silently laughed and placed his left hand to his forehead briefly as if to hide his face in mock embarrassment. The ink from the pen spilled onto the paper as he began to write again.
In my defense, there’s research that supports classical music puts students in a heightened emotional state, making them more receptive to information and helping them focus.
That’s very nerdy of you. I scribbled back, the corners of my lips pulled upwards.
I know. As I read the words on the notebook paper, we both laughed a little too loudly for the quietness of the room.
“Please remain silent for your classmates still working,” Mr. Molina stage-whispered from his desk, his eyes still fixated on the crossword puzzle.
It’s a bad habit. Edward tacked on to his message. I beamed. I knew a thing or two about bad habits today. I was appreciative of this silent conversation on paper; it made it easier to be beside him without needing to breathe to speak aloud.
What were you playing? I scrawled.
Clair de Lune. Edward wrote back. His thick eyebrows raised as my eyes lit up, and he continued writing. You know Debussy?
My mother used to play a lot of classical music around the house. It was one of my favorites.
It’s one of my favorites, too. Edward’s eyes were a little sad and lost in thought, and he smiled softly.
I was shocked by the change in expression and weirdly desperate to return the brightness back to his eyes. The burn in my throat was almost forgettable in the face of my concern. Almost, but not quite. He turned his head down to write on the paper again.
You said Rosalie played piano. You never learned? He turned to look at me, his expression curious. I shook my head and shrugged, reaching for the pen.
I didn’t think I had the coordination for it. While this was true for the time I was human, it wasn’t true now. Still, even though my days stretched into endless nights, I hadn’t yet devoted time to any instrument as an immortal.
Edward read the paper, his long pointer finger tracing the line beneath the words as he did so. He held his large hand out, and I dropped the pen into it.
I’ll show you sometime. Edward half smiled at me, his eyes sweet and earnest.
Knowing I shouldn’t be allowing him to think making a plans with me was an option, I reached for the pen to tell him that it was alright, but I froze as he suddenly moved to drop the pen and take my hand. Though he should have been the one hesitant and cautious as though approaching a dangerous, wounded animal, I held perfectly still as though he were the danger, and I needed to play dead for protection. You can’t play dead if you are dead, I thought to myself. 
My body tensed as my hand was enveloped in the heat of his much larger palm, uncertain as to what he was doing. My muscles screamed at me as I clenched my free hand into a tight fist, terrified of myself.
A shiver rippled through him as he felt the chill of my frozen fingers, and I twitched the hand in his possession, wanting to yank it away to protect him from the iciness but not wanting to alert him with the swiftness of the motion.
He smiled mysteriously at the spasm as though he somehow expected it. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking but didn’t want to risk breathing. My control could too easily be lost. Besides, I was scared that if I were to open my mouth, I’d end up screaming.
I felt him push slightly and realized he wished for me to curl my fingers, so with great concentration and the acute awareness of his fragility, I moved my stony hand into the shape he directed, my fingers curved slightly beneath his like a relaxed talon. I didn’t like the shape; it was odd and inhuman and made me think of the violence I could cause.
But it wasn’t a claw. Because once my hand was positioned the way he wanted, he began to slowly place pressure on my fingers, and I dipped and rose them accordingly to carefully move with his. I watched as the two of our hands together played what I imagined must be the opening chords to Clair de Lune.
The disconcerting emptiness in my chest soared at the bizarre pleasure of this touch, and a weird sensation tickled my scalp, moving swiftly down my spine to my entire body. 
My muscles tightened violently and then relaxed, sending a shiver to ripple through me. It was too much pleasure and too much pain as my throat ached and I leaned into the warmth.
Embarrassed and not wanting to push my luck, I cautiously pulled my hand slowly away. He lifted his hand to allow me to escape as though I couldn’t just break his hand to do so, a half-smile pulling on his lips. I pretended not to notice the goosebumps on his arms.
See? he mouthed before deciding to whisper. “You could do it.”
I forced myself to smile and then turned away for the rest of the hour, trying to keep from doing anything stupid like looking at him or killing him. I’d completely forgotten where we were.
When the bell finally rung, I collected my things atop the desk hastily. Edward reached for my backpack and held it up for me.
“Thanks,” I murmured as I dumped my books into the bag. Before I could take it from him, he slid it onto his back and nodded his head once for me to go forward.
Feeling awkward, I turned and allowed him to follow me to the door. I was lucky to walk in front of him, taking the opportunity to breath again as the vent blew out in front of my face.
Exiting the classroom, I paused for a second when I saw Emmett waiting for me across the hallway rather than his typical spot beside the wall of lockers next to our shared Spanish classroom. Even though I was well aware of the fact I’d been dangling my irresponsibility in their faces all day, I still felt as though I was being caught in the act.
Emmett’s eyebrows raised as his golden eyes watched Edward follow behind me, carrying my backpack. I crossed the hallway reluctantly towards my big brother.
“Hello,” I greeted him, avoiding his eyes. I felt smaller than ever beside him with my head down, and yet not small enough as I wished to disappear.
“Hey, little sis,” Emmett began uncertainly, though I glanced up to see his full lips were beginning to stretch into a smile that I didn’t like. “Who’s that with you?”
“I’m Edward Masen,” the lanky human boy introduced himself confidently as he stopped beside me. “And you must be––”
“Emmett,” my brother interrupted, grinning as though he always so comfortably interacted with humans. This was all too weird, but he looked to be enjoying it far too much. His desire to mess with me and his confidence in Alice’s visions seemed to override the abnormality of speaking to a student so amicably. I watched as he breathed in and shot me a meaningful look. I grimaced.
I opened my mouth to put an end to this torturously awkward interaction, but Emmett interrupted again.
“It’s nice to see you made a friend,” he began, an evil glint in his eyes as he watched my face. I was confused as to where he was going with this because our entire family would come across as misanthropic to the rest of the school, so why should it matter to him. He turned his attention to look at Edward who was closer in height to him. “You know, we worry about her––”
“Okay, let’s go to Spanish,” I cut him off quickly. “Edward, can I have my bag, please?”
Without looking at him, I reached for my backpack as he offered it and threw it over my shoulder, heading down the hallway. It was a massive relief to put some distance between myself and Edward. My thoughts were clearer, and I could breathe freely.
Emmett burst into laughter, his guffaws booming in the hallway. Several students paused in fear making me concerned about Edward’s reaction to my giant of a sibling, but I relaxed when I heard Edward chuckling along with him.
“Um, see you,” Emmett said to Edward before his steady, near silent footfall followed after me.
Even moving at a lethargic human pace, he caught up to me quickly.
“That wasn’t funny,” I grumbled.
“What the hell are you doing?” Emmett chuckled, ignoring my question.
“What the hell are you doing? What was that back there?”
“I don’t know. That was weird, but not as weird as you playing with your food.”
I hissed quietly.
“Damn, I’m kidding, Bells. But seriously, what are you doing? What happened to your high and noble speech about doing the right thing and staying away from the kid? I thought Esme was about to produce real tears. It even softened Rose.”
“Ugh, don’t talk to me about Rosalie right now. She’s been giving me dirty looks all day. It makes me feel awful. I already feel bad!”
“Well, I don’t really care what you do either way so––” I looked at him questionably. “I mean, sure, I want you to do the right thing, whatever that means. I don’t want you to feel miserable. But on one end, I didn’t really mind so much what happened to me.”
“Rosalie did,” I countered.
“Yeah, Rose did,” he acquiesced quietly.
“Anyways, I’m not having that conversation. I wasn’t talking to him today to test whether or not he’s worth it. That’s… unethical.”
“So what were you doing?”
“I don’t know,” I groaned in answer.
Emmett laughed.
“You’re weird these days, Bella.”
“You’re weird everyday,” I quipped back before sighing. “I don’t know. He’s weird, too. I guess… I’m not making any decisions, at all, but if Alice told you what she told me… wouldn’t you be curious?”
Emmett thought it over. “Yeah, I think so. But I also don’t think I’d have even made it to this point,” he admitted. I winced.
“It’s kind of unfair for me to care more about satiating my curiosity and dance with the devil this way, right?”
“Well…he may not know it, but isn’t it more so that Edward’s the one dancing with the devil?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, frowning as we walked into our Spanish class. “I guess it is.”
I made the decision to avoid thinking of Edward for the remaining hour of school. I paid very little attention in Spanish, returning to the familiar mind-numbing boredom that classes had been prior to the last few days. Now that it was in stark contrast to the sudden life breathed into my time at Forks High School by my fixation with Edward, the tedium was no longer something dealt with indifferently and sluggishly. Now, it left me feeling restless, and it almost pained me how laborious it was to sit through a life I wasn’t an active participant in. It was nowhere near the pain of dealing with the excruciating thirst I had around my bronze-haired lab partner, but it almost tampered with my thoughts more knowing I’d feel less miserable if I spent this time analyzing every word Edward shared with me, every fluctuation of his tone, every glint in his perceptive eyes, every expression on his pretty face… But I was becoming too obsessive. The same hunger for adventure that made me fall in love with reading must be what was leading me to so treacherously, so impetuously dive into exploring this insignificant and yet cataclysmic difference in my life.
As though it had a personal vendetta against me, time moved even more lethargically than it ever had before, but finally, the bell signaling the end of school rang. Emmett’s eyes shot a concerned look at me as I rose from my seat too quickly, and I immediately felt embarrassed again. The cautious reminder in his expression made me feel childish as Emmett was never one to care much about bending the rules. 
“See you at home, I guess,” he shook his head, giving me one last look that seemed to suggest I’d lost it.
“See you,” I mumbled, slinging my bag over my shoulder. Leaving Emmett behind to wait for Rosalie, I weaved through the crowded hallway and out to the parking lot. Students were bundling together and squealing at the chilling air as tiny, fluffy snowflakes fluttered down from the overcast sky. The floor of the parking lot was almost as glassy as yesterday as the rain from this afternoon had melted into a thin layer of icy mush. Though there was hardly enough snow for a decent snowball fight, some of the rowdier students were bundling up a pitiful pile of snow to form pathetic snowballs in their fists.
I nearly skipped to the pearly white vehicle parked beside Rosalie’s overly conspicuous crimson car which was forming a small crowd of admirers. Leaning against the trunk of the car, I watched the front doors of the school to look for Edward.
The tangle of reddish-brown hair was easy to spot because of its strange metallic tint as he strolled out of the building with Naomi, the student who’d provided him with the information about my family on his first day. He had his coat folded over his arm, revealing how form fitting his light tan turtleneck was. He truly was a very attractive boy. It was odd that I hadn’t really paid much attention initially. With his dazzling face and tall, lean frame, Edward was pretty enough that for the vampires who searched for exquisitely beautiful humans to create into even more stunning immortals, he could probably be a contender for someone to collect.
Thinking of how Emmett questioned my motives today, I quickly banished the idea of Edward as an immortal from my mind, even if it was only a hypothetical inspired by my observation.
Edward paused, asking Naomi if she could hold on to his backpack for a moment. When she grabbed it, he pulled on his long black coat, and fiddled with the collar. Recollecting his backpack, he slid it onto one shoulder, then rubbed his hands together, blowing the warm air from his mouth to heat them up. Thinking of the sweetness of the smell of his breath made me remember to take in swallows of fresh air before he made his way over to me.
As he was distracted momentarily, I watched as a stray snowball flew towards Edward’s head. I was overcome with the urge to intercept it in the event it may hit him too harshly and knock him to the pavement, but flying across the parking lot inhumanly fast twice in one week was probably not the way to go about correcting my mistakes.
The soggy snowball crashed into Edward’s hair, exploding into shards of ice and water that slid down his prominent cheekbone. I laughed aloud at his shocked expression as the curtain bangs framing his face were immediately drenched, darkening his hair into a brown color. Once he’d realized what happened, his face broke into a good-humored smile.
“Holy shit! Sorry, Edward!” The classmate who had thrown the snowball with poor aim called out.
“No worries!” Edward called back. He shook his head, chuckling as he wiped the water from his face. As he laughed, his eyes found the space where I waited and brightened seeing that I, too, was enjoying the moment.
“Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told Naomi, who was too beside herself in tears of laughter to reply.
Edward sauntered over towards me, and I inhaled deeply as a fortuitous whisper of wind blew from the tree line. I held onto the notes of crisp eucalyptus, fresh snow, and cedar wood, trying to distract my mind from the offensively mouthwatering scents approaching me.
Edward was a coordinated human, but even he lost his footing on the icy pavement. His body slid forward for a moment, but I stepped towards him to close the space between us and caught him by the elbow.
He looked up from his boots against the frozen parking lot into my eyes, startled momentarily at the swiftness in which I had appeared. Then, his full lips lifted into a crooked smile that creased his astonishing green eyes into half moons. I let go immediately and took a big step back to ensure a safer distance between myself and the warmth of his fragile body. It had been a risky movement, but somehow in comparison to yesterday, it didn’t seem to matter as much. I figured our classmates were too involved in their gawking at the details of my sister’s car or their feeble, slushy snowball fight to notice, and oddly, I didn’t care that Edward had seen. It was beginning to feel too late to keep up certain pretenses.
Although, it wasn’t too late, and it shouldn’t feel that way. I reminded myself I still had every intention of leaving Edward alone once I’d figured out what was so compelling about our paths crossing that had Alice’s visions spiraling in a confusing jumble. I took another step back slowly.
“Thank you,” Edward said, his eyes humored with another secret he didn’t seem willing to share. “You keep saving me.”
“Well, let’s not make this damsel in distress thing habitual,” I snorted, turning so that he couldn’t see the smile forming on my face. I felt shy about showcasing any comfort or happiness in his presence now that I was reminded of how fleeting this experimental friendship was, but I wondered if subconsciously I wanted him to catch me in my misery and ask me to explain, though I wasn’t certain why I wanted to sabotage myself like that. I opened my door and turned to look at him again. “You coming?”
Before he could answer, I dipped into the driver’s seat, and breathed in one last time. Well, once this was all over, I could finally stop inhaling dramatically as though they were truly my last, dying breaths. The air was mostly clean of his scent, but I knew that regardless, the heat of his body would be enough to disrupt my comfort and control. As the thought crossed my mind, I painfully swallowed back the venom pooling beneath my tongue.
Edward swerved through the crowd obsessing over Rosalie’s car and opened the passenger door, sliding into his seat. As he placed his backpack on the floor and fiddled with his seatbelt, I made sure to adjust the air conditioning so that the heat could warm Edward from the frigid Forks air. Though for me, just being in his presence made the intimate interior of the car feel as though I were again sitting by his fireplace.
“That’s a beautiful car,” he murmured. “Is it an M8?”
“Uh, it’s a BMW?” I asked uncertainly as though he’d spoken another language.
Edward grinned as though he wanted to laugh but didn’t want to make me angry. Rosalie would have loved to answer all his questions if he too had an interest in cars. Would have loved to, if she wasn’t deeply offended by my actions or if I had any intention of Edward meeting any more of my family members.
“Ready?” I bit my lip as I forced out any inconsiderate plots of murder that threatened to distract me from being a defensive driver.
“Mhm,” Edward answered.
I reversed out of the parking slot slowly, but as I looked in the rearview once I’d straightened out, I saw the fleeting image of Rosalie’s exquisitely beautiful and exceptionally angry face. I quickly readjusted the mirror to remove my sister’s reflection and sped out of the parking lot in a way that could have taken out a few unlucky students if I didn’t have above average years of driving experience.
Peripherally, I watched as Edward’s thick eyebrows raised, but he decided not to question me. Once we’d reached the main road, I slowed my speed so as not to rush through this time, even though I knew for his safety and my sanity, I should. As I drove, his right hand moved in odd shapes again against the arm rest of the passenger side door as though he were playing piano once more.
I decided to bite and use up some of my limited air supply.
“What are you playing?”
“Clair de Lune again,” he replied. Then, he began to hum the melody aloud for me as he moved his hand.
I thought to offer to play the song for him through the speakers, but I decided against it as I listened to Edward’s soft, velvety voice hum beautifully through the song, breaking the silence.
The ugly, slush-like falling of snow transformed into a falling of rainwater, and Edward’s voice was orchestrated by a lovely symphony of raindrops.
Before his voice could weave into the more involved moments of the piece, Edward stopped.
I looked over at him, curious for the reason as to why. His face was turned away from me so that all I could see was his untidy bronze hair as he gazed out the window. I pulled in front of his driveway and parked against the curb.
Miraculously, I’d made it again. Carefully, I inhaled through my nose to experiment with my control. The sweet bouquet of the boy’s blood was potent and even more mouthwatering than usual from the snow turned rain that’d wet his hair. I hadn’t considered the possibility that he could smell better than before, and I kept myself from groaning aloud as I dug my nails into my own palms. The tingling sensation in my nose was as though I’d sniffed some powerful chemical, the burning sensation in my throat as though I’d taken a long drag of a cigarette. But more painful. More demanding. Desire, need flew from my core out towards my extremities, and the beating of his heart pumping the blood through his body drummed loudly in my ears. It seemed to move through me, my frigid body almost twitching with every pulse, ready to lunge forward and crush his neck to my lips.
“What was your mother like?” He asked me suddenly, his voice soft. Edward turned from the window to face me, and I was bewildered by the intensity of his expression. His eyes were light and beautiful against the gloomy grey of the sky, and they squinted slightly as though studying my face like this information was absolutely essential. But this was not what stunned me, as I’d already seen the severity of this expression before in our ephemeral time together. It was the unexpected vulnerability of his stunning face. The more time I spent looking at him, the more I realized how beautiful this human boy really was. And it seemed a great tragedy for this beautiful boy to harbor such devastation in his eyes.
Whereas previously in his presence, my thoughts had become incoherent due to a lapse in control, now my thoughts were incoherent in distress and desperation to understand what had gone wrong and how I could fix it. I was momentarily dumbfounded, but I pulled myself together after the soft sound of a few droplets of rain against the roof reminded me that he was waiting for an answer.
“Well, she looked a lot like me, but prettier,” I began stupidly. He raised his eyebrows. “Or at least, she used to look a lot like me, and I used to look a lot like her. I don’t so much anymore.” It’d been so long since I’d really spoken about my mom, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. I knew I should have made some comment about whether or not she looked like Esme or Emmett since our story made us siblings, but I didn’t want to taint the rarity of sharing who she was with a lie.
“She was more outgoing than I am,” I continued, thinking through the foggy memories I held onto from my human life.
“That’s difficult to believe,” Edward teased quietly, his lips curving into a half smile.
I laughed, listening to the melodic sound of it, thinking of how it symbolized how very much different I was now from the human girl my mother knew.
“I was always very shy,” I smiled, before speaking up again, caught in the echoes of my past. “She was brave and irresponsible and slightly eccentric. And she was a very unpredictable cook!”
I laughed aloud again thinking of some minor explosions in our tiny kitchen and some questionable dishes. Edward laughed too, but when our laughter faded into the falling of the rain, my smile faded.
“She wasn’t perfect,” I admitted. “I think I recognize now that she was very fallible. I worshipped her when I was younger, but when I think back, I do see how in some of the ways she raised me, I was done a disservice… I grew up too fast. When she died––“ I sighed, feeling insincere and guilty about perpetuating this lie when I really should have said when I died, “––Esme became more of a mother to me, and even Rosalie’s been more traditionally nurturing than my mom ever was… But still, she was my best friend.”
“You miss her,” he murmured simply. I met his gentle eyes.
“Yes,” I bit my lip.
“How old are you, Bella?” Edward asked. “And not the formulaic, theorized version where you were born in your thirties. How old are you really?”
I tensed, wondering if he was asking this again because he’d taken note of how I didn’t directly answer this question the last time he asked.
“Seventeen,” I answered automatically.
“You don’t seem seventeen,” he responded, reproachful.
The tension left my body at the tone of his voice. I smiled again easily.
“Sorry?” I asked, biting my lip to hide the smile, unsure of how to respond.
Edward chuckled and the subtle crinkles by his eyes lit up his face. “Well, I wish you’d been given a happier, normal childhood.”
“I’m fine,” I shrugged, brushing it off. “I hardly remember most of it, and what I do remember reminds me that I probably didn’t have much chance at a normal childhood to begin with. I was terribly shy, remember.
“I did do girl scouts, though….Oh, and ballet briefly,” I admitted, unsure as to why I was volunteering so much information about myself. Wasn’t the purpose of me sitting here to uncover information about him?
“Why does that make you… embarrassed?” Edward’s eyebrows pulled up.
For an odd moment, I felt betrayed by the flush of my cheeks before I realized there was no blood rushing to my face. I blinked, bewildered by the peculiarity of this long buried instinct to become frustrated with my easy blushes when I hadn’t blushed for years. I felt self conscious as I wondered what Edward saw reading my expression to so perfectly decipher my feelings.
“I was very uncoordinated,” I dismissed his question as I fought the urge for my hand to flutter to touch my cool cheek.
“Now that truly is difficult to believe,” Edward half-smiled. “I can’t imagine I’ve seen anyone as graceful as you.”
I laughed aloud at his compliment, though I didn’t doubt his sincerity. I knew this was true of myself. It was true of all of our kind to appear fluid and effortless, but still, no one had ever applied the word to me. My vampiric poise was irrelevant and unimpressive to my family, and the very few humans brave enough to overcome their nerves to compliment me typically found their words to fail them.
“You’re very odd,” I beamed.
“What do you mean?” The bronze-haired boy asked, again wanting to be let in on the secret. While I had an insatiable thirst, it seemed he had an insatiable curiosity.
“How old are you really? Your word choice is bizarre for someone your age, you know.”
“Oh,” he laughed easily. “Well, I’m actually not seventeen. I’m eighteen. But I’ll try to strictly adhere to a more teenage vernacular, so I can compliment you in a more acceptable way from now on.”
I looked out at the dim light of the brewing storm, my smile fading as I decided that I should probably allow him to escape me before I did something I’d regret. But I knew I wasn’t resolved enough to completely leave him alone. He made me monopolize too much of the conversation, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I knew about him yet.
I sighed aloud, and Edward, too, looked out at the rain darkened sky.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” he asked hopefully, making the assumption that our conversation was coming to an end.
“Yes,” I promised reluctantly. My eyes flickered back over to his pretty face, studying the lines of his strong jaw, his chiseled cheekbones, his full lips, committing this inconsequential face to memory as I silently resolved that this should be –– and would be –– one of the last times I’d allow myself to be this close to him. Tomorrow may well be the very last.
Likewise, as though his thoughts were in the same vein, his beautiful green eyes studied my face as well, though he did so in that mysterious way of his where he looked at me as though hoping to read my mind.
He sighed, then collected his backpack. Edward opened the door, stepping out into the bitterly cold weather. A shiver ran through his lanky body, making my body tense with perverse excitement. I cringed away from the deadly instinct and swallowed against the dryness of my yearning throat.
Edward’s tall, lean frame leaned down to peek into the car.
“Goodnight, Bella,” he spoke softly.
“Goodnight, Edward,” I almost whispered, gazing into the beauty of his dazzling green eyes.
Edward smiled his half smile, and closed the door, escaping into the building torrent of rain.
I gasped in relief at his absence, then stiffened realizing how the cab of the car was still heavily perfumed with his scent. I took in another deep breath, forcing myself to confront the burning thirst again, willing myself to manage it. I sighed as I hit the gas, making Edward disappear behind me.
  Both my control and the rain pour strengthened significantly as I turned onto the long drive leading to my house. I grimaced as I wondered how I’d face my family and explain the complete reversal of what I’d promised to do. I didn’t have time to consider for much longer as suddenly, a figure appeared instantaneously in the drive. I slammed my foot on the brake immediately in shock at its appearance, not wanting to total yet another car against one of my siblings.
I peered through the windshield, unable to see through the complete downpour that submerged my vehicle as though it were underwater. It was annoying for my perfect sight to be obstructed by anything, rainwater or even the transparent windshield because of my eyes’ desire to focus on the microscopic scratches.
The car violently screeched against the muddy pavement, and it looked as though we would have to bid this car goodbye until the figure hidden by the storm placed their hands out on the car roughly and forced it to a stop. The tires screamed in protest, and the metal groaned as it warped into the shape of the palms. I listened as it unnaturally bent again in a piercing moan as the figure fixed the indentions they’d created.
My windshield wipers swatted away a flood of water. Finally, I could make out my sister Rosalie, her hair dripping wet down her back like a supermodel who’d just emerged from a pool on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Her exquisite face was absolutely furious.
I gulped, feeling like a child who’d just been discovered sneaking home past curfew.
I felt uncertain as to what to do and why she’d chosen to stop me here. Surely she could wait for us to be under the cover of the garage before she chastised me. Not wanting to be drenched by the rain, I revved the engine to ask her to move aside, but the car didn’t inch forward against her strength. Beginning to feel annoyed, I revved the engine again loudly and for longer, but still, she didn’t move.
“Rose,” I hissed as I hit the brake again so that the car could roar viciously in the storm, only to be cut off by the voice of my adopted mother.
“Girls!” I couldn’t see Esme through the obscured glass behind the downpour, but even with the barrage of the rain, I could hear her lithe steps run furiously to the front porch. “Please!”
Rose’s head snapped up to look in Esme’s direction before turning to glance unhappily back at me. She stepped aside, and I sped into the garage, parking the car hastily.
I exited immediately and went to expect the damage to the front of the hood. It was only a minuscule bend from having been pushed and prodded back and forth, and I was positive Rosalie could make it look like new, though why it had been necessary to punish the car was beyond me. It wasn’t even mine.
I wheeled around once I’d heard the near-silent steps of her run, a wave of anger making me forget my guilt.
“Are you insane?!” I demanded.
“I could ask the same of you, Bella!” Now free from the obscurity of the rain, I could see in perfect detail the stunning fury of her glorious face. Her golden hair had been darkened by the rain, and it was slicked back effortlessly, like a glittering waterfall down to the middle of her back. She looked like a wrathful god, but I couldn’t find it in my stubbornness to care about how valid her anger may be.
“Okay, but did you have to take it out on the car? What did it ever do to you! You couldn’t have waited another twenty seconds to confront me? Well, you have my attention now, Rosalie, so say whatever it is you want to say!”
“You’re just unbelievable, Bella!”
“He’s not going to say anything, Rose! We already talked about this yesterday. You heard Alice! He’s not a threat to you and Emmett, so I don’t understand why you’re taking this so personally.”
“Exactly, Bella. I heard Alice. Which is precisely why I fail to understand as to why you wouldn’t understand why I’d take it so personally. After all these years of sisterhood, how can you not understand how I feel about this?”
I frowned, my forehead puckering, but still, I retained my anger. She huffed, continuing.
“If it was an inevitability, I’d understand. However, it hurts me deeply that you recognize the choice that you have. The choice that Edward has. And still, you’re willing to play with his mortality as though it were a game, when I never had that choice.”
I froze, the realization dawning on me that she was right. No matter the ways in which I tried to justify my actions or spin my intentions, she was right. Another part of my mind acknowledged that while I was aware of right and wrong, I wasn’t certain that what was right would be enough to keep me away anymore.
We stared each other down much like we had yesterday. Only today, rather than anger, her face was contorted in hurt, and mine was contorted in hopelessness.
“But… you found Emmett when he was still human…” I weakly protested, selfishly trying to highlight the irony, though I knew it was pointless as I wasn’t advocating for Edward to be changed either. That was too complicated a thought to wrap my mind around. But whatever may happen –– and I was still very much aware of the worst of possibilities –– I didn’t want my sister to hate me for it.
“He was dying, Bella,” Rosalie whispered. The anger on her face had completely faded, and in its place, pain marked her eyebrows, her full lips, her golden, sad eyes. In her sadness, she looked like a work of art, like one of those paintings of a weeping saint. “It’s not the same.”
I didn’t have a response to that, and I felt as though I was at an impasse, both with myself and with Rosalie. Because I knew the promises I’d made and broken, but I knew the promise I’d made to Edward today, and I had no willpower, no desire, and no intention to break that promise.
“You may not feel anything for him now,” Rosalie began, her eyes intently fierce as they bore into mine to warn me. Only this warning felt significantly more horrible than I’d imagined it may be, because it wasn’t made in anger, but in desperation and love. “But if Alice is right, you will. And it seems to me a horrible way to repay someone you love to steal their life, their future, their soul from them. You should leave him alone now while you still can, because once you love him… it’ll only hurt more one way or another. And you’ll have to live with that for the rest of your existence. I know I have.”
And with that, Rose turned, her face cold and sad, and she left the garage.
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lumosandnoxwriting · 5 months ago
Call Me When You’re Sober - George Weasley
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Title: Call Me When You’re Sober Pairing: George x Fem!Reader, George x Angelina Johnson (kinda, sorta, not really) Warning: mentions of drug use!! Also some mentions of sexual things like sexting/sending nudes and one mention of a boner. I also use the word tits a few times. Summary: George only seems to have the time for Y/N when he’s high, and that’s just not enough for her anymore. (This is also a modern au where they have cell phones and social media bc why not) A/N: this is for an anon that wanted a fic based off of a tiktok POV they saw and funnily enough that POV ended up on my fyp last week so you can find that here if you want. The only part I was inspired by was Angelina being present, but that part was specifically mentioned in the request everything else is purely from my own brain!! This also includes a bit of Angelina Johnson slander but it does not represent my actual views. Angelina slander is not welcome in this house. Feedback is always welcome and requests are open! Tags: @feltondarling​ @pandaxnienke​ @raerae27​
The first time it happens Y/N answers the phone right away.
“George? What’s wrong?” she asks frantically, already getting out of bed. It’s three am and George never calls even at a decent hour, so she assumes that something has gone wrong and he needs help.
“Hey, Y/N,” George drawls slowly, like his mouth is moving in slow motion.
Y/N pauses in the middle of her bedroom, her hand hovering above her car keys. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” George certainly sounds off, but he doesn’t necessarily sound like he’s in need of her rescuing. When all George does is giggle in response, Y/N groans. “Are you high?”
“High on life!” George responds, prompting Y/N to roll her eyes. She shuffles back over to her bed and climbs back in, snuggling under the covers. “And maybe a little bit of weed,” he adds with a laugh.
Y/N rolls her eyes, but there’s a small smile on her face. George is one of her favorite people in the world, and it’s hard for her to stay mad at him. “A little bit?” she teases. “You sound baked out of your mind.”
George lets out a throaty laugh, and Y/N closes her eyes, making it seem like he’s there in the room with her. They don’t get to see each other often now that they’re both out of school and busy with their lives, and George’s aversion to phone calls means all she has to get her through their periods of time apart are short text messages and stupid memes. Hearing his voice sends shivers down her spine, and if it wasn’t so late she’d be driving to wherever he is to climb into his arms.
“What can I say? Freddie got the good stuff now that we can afford it.” Y/N can hear some rustling, and she figures that he’s laying back onto his bed. “Not like back when we were at Hoggywarts. Remember those days?”
Y/N hums as she lets her mind wander back to their school days. It didn’t happen often, but every once in a while Fred or George would sneak out of the castle down to Hogsmeade to buy off of a guy that works at the Hogshead Inn. They would settle into their dorm along with Lee and after placing some spells on the room and throwing the windows open they’d light up and pass the joint around until nothing was left. The weed was cheap and burned their lungs, but none of them cared. It left them all feeling like they were floating, and they would talk for hours about nothing in particular.
George always got handsy when he was high, and Y/N supposes this is where her feelings for him started. Once the joint burned out George would pull her body close and let his hands roam all over it as he talked with the boys idly. Y/N would run her hands through his hair and scratch at his scalp, her face pressed tightly to his neck. They often ended up falling asleep together wherever they had landed, sometimes it was George’s bed, but it was usually the floor, swaddled in some random blankets and pillows from the common room. Y/N was always the first to wake up, and she’d hug George tightly for one more fleeting moment before sneaking out and back into her own dorm.
“You roll the best joints, Y/N,” George continues when Y/N doesn’t say anything. “Fred is so shit at it. No matter how many times you showed him how to do it.”
“Very sweet of you to say, Georgie,” Y/N laughs. She yawns a moment later, desperately trying to fight off sleep. “Though you were always more fond of smoking from a bowl if I remember correctly.
George yawns too and Y/N can hear him climbing under the covers of his bed. “I am. But smoking joints reminds me of you.”
“George,” Y/N says softly, sitting up in bed. She waits for him to say something, but all she’s met with are his light snores. She rolls her eyes, settling back down into her pillows. “Goodnight, George.” Y/N hangs up her phone and places it on her nightstand before letting memories of George lull her back to sleep.
The next time it happens Y/N doesn’t hear her phone the first time. She’s out of town for work, and after a long day she’d collapsed right onto the bed in her hotel room, formal clothes still on and everything. Y/N had ignored her phone the first time, hoping to fall back asleep. But when it started to ring again only seconds after it stopped she picks up her phone and answers the call without bothering to see who it is.
“Hullo?” she answers sleepily, her eyes barely open. She glances at the clock, noting that it’s only 10 pm and figures that it’s one of her coworkers inviting her to go out with them.
“You sound sleepy,” George responds softly, his voice deep and languid. “Did I wake you up?”
Y/N sits up in bed, rubbing some of the sleep from her eyes. “George?”
George laughs. “Who else would it be?”
“Considering the fact that this is literally the second time you’ve ever called me I figured it would be anyone else besides you,” Y/N teases, shrugging out of her suit jacket.
“Hey,” George whines, and Y/N can practically hear the pout on his face. “I called you on your birthday.”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Oh, you’re right, my mistake.” She pauses as she walks over to the dresser in the room, starting to take off her jewelry. “How baked are you this time?” she asks playfully.
“What makes you think I’m high?” George laughs.
“For one the sound of your voice,” Y/N explains as she kicks off her heels. “And you only call me when you’re high. Oh, and on my birthday,” she adds when George makes a noise of disapproval.
Y/N hears George shuffle around, and she takes the opportunity to put him on speaker so she can put her phone down and start getting rid of the rest of her clothes. “You can tell by my voice?”
“Mhm,” Y/N hums, fumbling with the buttons of her shirt. “It gets deeper and slower.”
“Really?” George asks, sounding surprised. “Does it sound sexy?”
Y/N laughs as she heads over towards her suitcase, taking off her bra as she goes. She starts to dig through the mess, trying to find her pajamas. “Super sexy,” she responds, hoping George is too high to notice how serious she is.
“What are you doing? You sound too far away.”
Y/N chuckles at George’s dramatics as her hands finally land on her sleep shirt. It’s an old t-shirt of George’s that she stole sometime during their last year and never gave back. Whenever Y/N travels for work she brings it with her as a reminder of home. “I’m putting my pajamas on.”
“So, you’re naked right now?” George’s voice is rough, and it sends a shiver right down her spine.
“Practically,” Y/N responds, pulling the shirt over her head. It’s far too large for her so the hem barely brushes the tops of her thighs, but it reminds her of George, and that’s what matters.
George groans, and Y/N can feel her cheeks heating up as she crawls back into bed. “Wish I was there to see.” Y/N can feel butterflies erupt in her stomach and she has to clamp a hand over her mouth to conceal the noise that bubbles out of her throat. “Send me a pic of your tits,” he continues bluntly when Y/N doesn’t say anything.
“George!” Y/N says, the surprise in her tone evident. The butterflies in her stomach are going wild, and Y/N has to remind herself that it’s the weed talking, not George. “I’m not going to do that George.” Although Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t tempted to. “Besides I’m already dressed and in bed.”
“What a party pooper,” George grumbles. “Got me all hard for nothing.” Y/N’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out of her chest. George has never been this lewd with her in all the times they’ve been high together, and she wonders if it’s because of whatever he smoked or because this is one of the only times they’ve been alone while one of them was baked. “What are you wearing then? A sexy little nighty?”
Y/N has to take a few deep breaths, hardly able to believe what she’s hearing. Part of her wants to tell George to knock it off and hang up on him. But the other part has wanted to hear George talk to her like this since their Hogwarts days and she doesn’t know which part should win.
“One of your old t-shirts, actually,” Y/N responds quietly, giving in to her desires.
George groans, and it takes everything in Y/N’s power not to shove a hand down her panties. “That red one? That I let you borrow and never saw again?”
“You remember that?” Y/N asks softly.
“Of course,” George answers. His voice is slower now and Y/N can tell he’s going to fall asleep any second. Smoking always makes him tired and he was often the target of a few pranks since he would be the first to nod off. “That’s like a guys wet dream. Seeing a girl that’s as pretty and sexy as you are in his clothes.”
Y/N bites her tongue as to not say anything, just listening to George through the phone. His breathing starts to slow down, and within a few seconds Y/N can tell he’s fallen into a deep sleep. She listens to him breathe for a moment, before hanging up and tossing her phone down. She cuddles up in the unfamiliar bed, desperately trying to fall asleep.
Every few weeks George’s name pops up on Y/N’s phone usually late at night and he’s always baked out of his mind. Y/N finds it nice the first half dozen times, George’s voice is always calming to her and she basks in the opportunity to get to speak with him. They haven’t seen each other in months, despite the fact that Y/N has tried to catch up with him several times. But he’s always got an excuse ready. At first Y/N understood, the joke shop is his number one priority, but after a while it gets insulting. When George is sober he can barely be bothered to send her a text message but the second he lights up he’s dialing her phone number.
One night when he calls she asks him why he doesn’t just invite her over to smoke. Her flat is only 30 minutes outside of London and he knows that she’d drive to the ends of the earth to see him. But of course he has an excuse. He says that it’s something just for him and Fred, a way to wind down together after a hectic workday. Which makes sense to Y/N, and as much as she wants to push it she doesn’t. If it were any other person she would have given up on their friendship by now. But George isn’t just any average person. He’s the person she cares most about in this world, and Y/N doesn’t want to live without him. So as shitty as it makes her feel to just be someone he calls when he’s too baked to care who he talks to, she puts up with it.
That is until she reaches her breaking point.
The last time it happens Y/N doesn’t answer her phone the first time it rings. Or the second time. She’s just gotten home from having a few drinks with friends and the alcohol has made her brave. She puts her phone on vibrate mode and leaves it on her bed as she gets ready to go to sleep. It takes her 20 minutes to get ready and once she’s finally in bed under the covers she picks up her phone to assess the damage.
“What the fuck George?” she whispers to herself, scrolling through the notifications on her phone. She has 15 missed calls from him and a litany of text messages.
Answer ur phone Y/N Y/N I called again Pls Answer me Y R u ignoring me Need to hear your voice Baby Y/N Im gonna call until u pick up Ill keep txtin 2 Baby please Y/N I need to talk to you I miss u Pls
When George’s name and the stupid photo of him Y/N set as his contact picture pop again Y/N sighs and she reluctantly answers. “What?”
“Oh my god finally,” George groans in his usual slow voice. “Why didn’t you answer me?”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Because, George. I was busy. I have a life outside of you and your stupid little phone calls.” Her tone is harsh, and George is so quiet for a moment that Y/N has to check to make sure that he hasn’t hung up on her.
“Why are you so angry?” he asks a second later, and Y/N can tell he’s upset. Normally she would just drop the subject, but there’s alcohol thrumming through her veins and she’s tired of keeping it all in.
“Because, George,” Y/N sneers. “You only call me when you’re high. You dodge every attempt I make at seeing you and you barely even text me anymore. I thought we were friends George. But in reality you treat me like dirt. You use me whenever you want and then you cast me aside without another thought until you’re high again.”
“Y/N,” George starts, but he gets distracted when someone in the background starts to giggle wildly.
Y/N’s blood runs cold, immediately recognizing that laugh. “I thought smoking was something for only you and Fred, George?” Y/N asks accusatorily, sadness and hurt starting to mix with her anger. “I can’t believe you. Not only did you lie to me, but you can find the time to hang out with Angelina Johnson and not your best friend?”
“I-I’m here all alone, Y/N. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” George stutters. But before Y/N can say anything, the same voice says something.
“Georgie,” Angelina whines. “You’re too far away, get back over here.”
“Y/N, I can explain,” George starts, but she cuts him off.
“Fuck you, George Weasley.” Y/N spits, before hanging up on him. She turns her phone off and slams it down, before burying her head in her pillow and crying herself to sleep.
When Y/N wakes up the next morning her head is pounding and her throat is dry, and it’s not just from the alcohol she drank. George broke her heart last night, and she has the dry tear tracks on her cheeks to prove it. Y/N avoids her phone, deciding she’s not quite ready for whatever is going to pop up when she turns it back on.
She gets ready for the day slowly, thankful that it’s still the weekend. Y/N stands in the shower for nearly an hour, just letting the hot water sting her skin. When she gets out she brushes her hair slowly, just looking at herself in the mirror. She can’t help but be as mad at herself as she is at George. George may have treated her like shit, but Y/N let him. She let herself become so desperate for his attention that she played right into his stupid game. And as much as Y/N hates to admit it, she doesn’t regret it for a second. All she’s ever craved was George’s undivided attention, and finally getting it felt so good, even if George was higher than a kite each time. Seeing his name pop up on her phone gave Y/N a thrill each time, even though she wanted more – deserved more. Y/N has always been there for George and all she wanted was for him to be there for her too.
Y/N picks out her comfiest lounging outfit, forcing herself not to automatically reach for the old shirt of George’s hanging in her closet. She’s been wearing it more often these days, craving the comfort of his embrace but settling for the cloth of his shirt instead. But now the sight of it makes her want to throw up.
She’s been up for nearly two hours when she settles back into bed, a hot cup of tea in her hands. Y/N’s not sure if she’s actually ready to face whatever mess George put them in last night, but sooner is better than later. She places her mug on her bedside table, reaching over to flip the framed photo she has of her and George over so she can’t see their smiling faces. When her phone finally boots up the screen shows just her background for a moment, before a barrage of texts, missed calls and voicemails show up. George has called nearly 100 times, with almost as many voicemails accompanying them and he’s texted over 200 times to boot.
Y/N scrolls through them, surprised to find that the most recent call and voicemail are from Fred. She can’t remember the last time Fred initiated a phone call with her, since he’s just as hard to get on the phone as George. Fred prefers to communicate through snapchats and tweets, so Y/N knows something big has gone on if Fred bothered to pick up his phone and make a call.
“Uh hey, Y/N. It’s me. Fred. But you probably already know that. Or maybe you don’t. Whatever, not important. I know this is probably the last thing you wanna hear since he’s left you like a thousand messages, but will you please call George? Or text him. Hell send him an email. He’s sorry for whatever it is he did. I’m not really sure what, he was crying a lot when he barged into my room and I was zooted as hell. But what matters is he’s sorry and he really wants to talk to you. So call him, please. Do it for me, at least even if you don’t do it for him. Okay anyway. Bye.”
Y/N sighs, running a hand through her hair. As pissed as she is, she hates to hear that George is upset. She chooses to ignore George’s voicemails for now, since they’re probably a mishmash of words and sobs considering how messy Fred said he was. She clicks on her text message app, scrolling through the messages George had sent, stopping every once and a while to read a few.
Y/N please Im srry Its sending me to voicemail Did u turn ur phone off Talk 2 me Pls y/n pls baby baby baby im sorry I need you to talk to me I need to hear ur voice Pls Let me explain I dnt care abt angie Not like how I care abt u Y/N please. Don’t do this I fucked up I knw I fucked up Let me make it right Please I love you, please
The last text message shocks Y/N, and she rereads it over and over again until its image is imprinted in her brain. George has only ever told her he loves her one other time. It was the last time they got high together, the night before he and Fred left to start the joke shop. Fred, George, Lee and her were all fairly baked, and after Fred and Lee left to sneak down to the kitchens for snacks, George had turned to Y/N and pulled her right into his lap. He had grabbed her face with both of his hands and looked deep into her eyes. I love you, you know that right? His tone was firm and when Y/N nodded he used his grip on her face to pull her into a kiss. It was uncoordinated and messy, but she didn’t care. He had mumbled the word ‘good’ when he pulled away and in a blink of an eye he’d drifted off to sleep. Y/N had snuck back into her own bed, figuring it was best to ignore it, since George surely wouldn’t remember it in the morning anyway.
A knock at her door brings Y/N out of her thoughts and she tosses her phone on the bed to go and answer it. She’s been expecting a package, so when Y/N reaches the door she doesn’t bother to check to see who it is, and just throws it open.
“You look like hell,” Y/N says when her eyes land on George. She certainly wasn’t expecting it to be him, but she’s truly not surprised. His text messages had sounded desperate and it’s very like George to just show up at her doorstep when she doesn’t want him to after he refused to come over for months. Y/N looks him over as he fidgets, taking in his disheveled appearance. His eyes are sullen and dull, his hair is sticking out in a million directions and his skin is ever paler than normal.
“Suppose I deserve that,” George responds, his voice raspy. He lets his eyes rake over Y/N, dumbfounded by how beautiful she looks even in her lounge wear. It’s the first time he’s seen her in person in over half a year and even though he’s spent much of his free time staring at her Instagram photos, she still takes his breath away. “You look good though.”
Y/N rolls her eyes and goes to slam the door, but George puts his hand up to stop it. “What do you want, George?”
“Just let me explain,” he pleads. “Just let me explain everything and then if you want I’ll go. I’ll leave and you’ll never have to talk to me or see me again. You can delete me from your life. But I can’t let you go without explaining myself.”
“Fine,” Y/N resolves, stepping aside and opening the door so George can come in. She leads him over to her couch and motions for him to sit down. Y/N resists her urge to sit next to him, instead choosing to stand in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes narrowed. “Talk.”
George clears his throat and starts to fiddle with his thumbs. “I like calling you when I’m high because I say whatever comes to my mind. When I’m sober I think too much about what I’m going to say, and I never end up saying what I want. But when I’m high the words just fly out of my mouth without me thinking about the consequences and I like that. Because there’s so many things I want to say to you that I don’t have the balls to say when I’m sober.”
“Like asking me for tit pics?” Y/N asks with a curt laugh.
“Honestly, yes,” he answers, a blush forming on his cheeks. “But it’s more than that. Like telling you I smoke joints even though I despise them, and Fred can’t roll to save his life because it reminds me of you. Or that just the thought of you not wearing any clothes drives me wild. Or that I find you so ungodly beautiful and so damn sexy, Y/N. And that I love you.” George pauses for a moment so he can just watch Y/N. “Because I do love you, Y/N. So much more and in so many different ways than a best friend should.”
Y/N bites her lip to keep herself from sharing the same sentiment as George. Because holy hell does she love him with every fiber of her being, but he’s fucked up and hurt her in more ways than just his inability to admit his feelings. “Then why keep me at arm’s length, George? You avoid all my attempts to see you, you only ever bother talking to me when you’re baked out of your mind and you lie to me. Out of all the people in the world you had to smoke with it had to be her. You know how I feel about Angelina.”
Despite being roommates and pretty similar personality wise, Y/N and Angelina never really got along. They were always competing with each other, for the best grades in their year, for prefect and head girl, and Y/N is ashamed to admit that they’d fought over a boy or two in their early years at Hogwarts. But by far their biggest competition was for George’s attention. George couldn’t care less about girls during his time at Hogwarts, Fred didn’t either but at least he would sleep with some of the girls that threw themselves at him. George on the other hand didn’t seem to care. The only girl he ever bothered to spend meaningful time with was Y/N, and it drove Angelina up the wall. Angelina did everything she could to vie for George’s attention, including spreading a nasty rumor about Y/N during their 5th year. Much to Angelina’s disappointment it failed miserably, and they pretty much ignored each other from that day on.
“The Angelina thing is not my fault,” George insists. “She came into the shop just before we closed, and Fred invited her up and she accepted. What was I supposed to do?”
“Not let her in your room!” Y/N answers as if it’s obvious. “But this isn’t just about Angelina, I don’t want to talk about her. It’s about the fact that you’ve been treating me like shit, George. I’ve been trying so hard to get through to you and you stop me every time.”
“Because being around you and having to pretend that I don’t have feelings for you is too painful,” George admits honestly. “The only time I’m brave enough to be with you the way I want to is when I’m high. Why do you think I was always grabbing your ass after we smoked? Why I always made you cuddle me? Why I kissed you that night?”
“You remember that?” Y/N asks, clearly shocked. George had never mentioned it again and Y/N figured he was too high to remember what he said and did. It had upset her to no end that George returning her feelings was only a side effect of the weed, but she never brought it up to him in fear of ruining their relationship.
George scoffs. “Of course I do. When I woke up the next morning and you weren’t there I figured you didn’t feel the same way. So, I just never mentioned it, and when you didn’t either I figured you thought I was just being a high idiot like always and brushed it off. I never invited you to smoke after that because I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you. And kissing you once is easy to explain away but kissing you every time we get high pretty obviously means something more. So, I would call you instead. And I’d lay in my bed high as hell pretending that you were there next to me until I fell asleep with you on the phone.”
“Oh, for fucks sake,” Y/N mutters. Before she has a chance to regret her actions, Y/N is throwing herself at George. She straddles his waist and kisses him hard, moaning when his hands land on her bum and give it a squeeze. “You’re such a fucking idiot,” she pants, starting to trail kisses across George’s jaw and down his neck. “But you’re my idiot.”
George chuckles before he grabs Y/N’s face so that he can kiss her again. Their lips move together slowly, and George starts to rub Y/N’s back lightly. “I love you,” he murmurs as their kiss breaks.
“I love you too,” Y/N responds, her head dizzy.
“Does this mean I get tit pics whenever I want?” George asks cheekily, laughing when Y/N slaps his chest.
“Only if you promise to only call me when you’re sober from now on,” Y/N bargains.
George grins at Y/N before leaning in to kiss her briefly. “Deal.”
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mushytaro · 5 months ago
hii!! ive never requested anything before ever so this is kinda like my test run hehe
but it’s okay if you don’t accept this one haha (it might be too specific wahh im sorry TT) i don’t want you to feel obliged or pressured to!
anyways, is it okay to ask for a female pronoun scenario (or head canons which ever you prefer) for a platonic relationship with atsushi (like a younger sister kind, but not that young, his age, only a bit younger) and slight dazai (romance/fluff)
they went to the orphanage together, but like she disappeared and then suddenly she appeared at the ada and dazai’s immediately smitten and atsushi is stuck cause he feels protective over her and cause it’s yk, it’s dazai so he doesn’t know what to do-
― ᴄᴀʀɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴs
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: dazai osamu x fem!reader, platonic!atsushi nakajima x fem!reader
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2366
ᴀ/ɴ: aaaa no no it's fine!! (u seem so nice im-) my first request!! this came really late and it's a little messy considering this jumps between different perspectives, and ultimately i think it came out a little different from what you might be expecting but i hope you like it nonetheless, anon!!
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The moment you stepped through the doors of the armed detective agency office, Atsushi felt his lungs tighten. A flurry of white ran towards you and you stumbled to the ground, feeling the weight of someone over you and oh.
You look up, not quite believing your ears. There he was, spiky ash gray hair cut by the cruel hands you couldn’t save him from, yellow eyes glistening, and that same soft voice that soothed you to sleep; that you missed so, so much. Your best friend.
“Hi,” you whispered, tears gathered in the corner of your eyes.
“Hi,” his voice quavered, before breaking into a smile.  
For a while the two of you were on the floor, clinging onto each other with the love resembling that of a war soldier coming home to his wife, and while everyone else had gotten up from their seats to greet (or in kunikida’s case, scold atsushi for “making a ruckus in the middle of a professional workplace environment”) you, one man in a beige trenchcoat stayed frozen.
Dazai’s mind drew a blank. He blinked a little at the sight of his mentee clutching onto you, before his attention was drawn to you. Your messy hair framed your face as laughter, your laughter rang through the room.  
For the rest of the day until the sun set and the cold midnight winds rattled his windows, it had remained so foreignly quiet, with nothing with your laugh, your smile, your crinkled eyes filling up his head until it spilled over the brim like a drink poured too quickly.
Blank. His mind had never blanked before.
Dazai threw himself onto his mattress, rendered sleepless for the rest of the night, thinking of nothing but you.
For the next few weeks, Atsushi had noticed a change within dazai. At first it had been subtle. To start, Dazai’s flirts with the maid every time he’d visit Cafe Uzumaki had drawn to a close. Then there was the undeniable fact that the stacks upon stacks of paperwork on his were decreasing. ‘A true miracle,’ Kunikida had said with a gaping mouth, looking impressed, surprised and concerned at the same time. Dazai’s grand, loud, and borderline performative actions seemed to wash away.
And then there were the flowers. Every morning when you get to your desk, there was always a flower in a small vase placed on your table, and so far, nobody knows when or who puts it there.
It’s another busy day of work. Sunlight streams through the windows onto the cream walls of the office, with only the quiet clicks of the computer and the sound of Ranpo munching away at another chemically processed bag of snacks breaking through the silence. Atsushi casts a quick glance towards you and sure enough, a single carnation, the shade of a soft pink with the edges of the petals seemingly seeped in sharp red sat.
‘That’s the fifth flower in a row,’ Atsushi thought to himself, biting his lip.
“Um,” He says finally. “Do you know who’s been bringing you flowers?”
“I’m not sure,” your fingers come to a stop as you look towards it. “But it’s kind of sweet.”
He nods, maybe a little too much, before looking back at his laptop. ‘She’s blushing.’ “Say, Where’s that idiot Dazai?” Kunikida questions, features darkening. Atsushi swears he sees storm clouds crackling with thunder above his head, and gulps. “He should be here by now.”
“I’ll go look for him,” Atsushi declares quickly, getting up from his seat.
The streets of yokohama are busy, to say the least. Clouds stretch across a bright sky, tall buildings with sea green glass panes that reflect the blazing light that shines off of it. People walk around, carrying suitcases or holding onto the hands of children with the sounds of traffic and bustle hanging in the air. It’s a shame Atsushi doesn’t have enough eyes or the time to appreciate all of it.
“Where would Dazai-san go-” his footsteps draw to a stop as his eyes widen. A familiar, lanky figure in a too-long coat is being handed a bundle of flowers, and dark eyes meet yellow ones.
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“I don’t mean to… erm, intrude on your personal life, but do you… like her, Dazai-san?”
“You’re getting bold with asking questions, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai says, his shoes scraping against the concrete floor, shifting the bundle of blooms from one arm to another. Since when did flowers get so heavy?
“Well, okay, I’m cutting to the chase-are you planning on telling her?” Atsushi interrogates, his tone so bitter that it sends shivers up Dazai’s spine, and Dazai would have complimented him for achieving such an incredible feat if it weren’t for that look.
“...No,” Dazai admits, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking at the floor, except this seems to make his mentee even more tense. It’s oddly quiet for a while, but not the same as the silence they shared aboard the S.S. Zelda, when they had clinked tall glasses of champagne.
This was different.
“Do you like her, Atsushi?” he asks. It’d make sense for Atsushi to have a crush on you, especially considering your long past together, and how protective you are of each other, and just how kind you are. (Dazai is surprised to find that the idea of Atsushi and you holding hands and going on dates, being saps gives him a sharp pang in his chest.)
“What? No! She’s like a sister to me, why would I-no, it’s just...that…” Atsushi’s protests falter before his shoulders droop.
“Just what?”
“It’s not my place to say,” Atsushi shakes his head nervously. “But-”
“Butt?” Dazai smirks.
“Oh my god,” the teenager buries his face in his hands as Dazai snickers. ‘Nailed it,’ he thinks childishly.
Dazai soon finds that he regrets not having let Atsushi finish that sentence, because now a new found curiosity and something akin to dread was slowly building inside of him.
But what?  
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“Kunikida-kun. Kunikidaaaa. Kunikida, pleaseee-”
“What is it, Dazai?” The bespectacled man turns around in his seat, looking as furious as usual. “Stop distracting me from my work, I’m already two minutes behind-”
“Kunikida, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?” He asks, twirling a pen between his fingers.
“I’m making a list,” Dazai says.
“You refuse to do any work of your own, you constantly smell like pond water and sweat, you flirt with nearly every walking woman except that hasn’t been happening lately so that’s off the list, you’re ruthless, uncommitted, lazy, and-”
“Kunikida, that’s so mean!” Dazai whines dramatically, putting the back of his hand to his forehead like a fainting princess and tossing his pen to the side of the room. “I’m truly hurt! Oh, I’ll never recover!”  
“-everything from your behaviour to your humor is a guise,” Kunikida finishes.
Dazai drops his hand from his head. “A guise?”
“Nothing feels real when you’re around. Everytime you say something genuine, you cover it up with a joke. You’re just being cowardly because there’s nothing you fear more than being open and getting turned away.”
“Hm,” Dazai says, staying strangely still. “I figured.”
“Why’d you ask? Hey, Dazai, are you okay?” The creases between Kunikida’s eyebrows folded as he watched his partner jump up from his seat.
“I’m quite alright, truly, now who’s next!” Dazai said aloud to nobody in particular, crossing out a line on his scrap of paper and walking out the door.
Kunikida fixed his eyes on the door, even after it slammed shut.
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It’s the end of work. You roll your shoulders and you grimace as you hear a familiar creak in your bones, aching. It’s a strangely cold night, contrary to the sunny morning you only got to experience in doors. Your warm heavy fingers sting, the cold air hugging your stockings as you pick up the pace, wanting to head home as soon as possible.
“Wait up!”
There’s desperate footsteps behind you, ringing against the brick floor, and a familiar voice shouts out your name. Surely enough, you turn around and there he is, Dazai Osamu, his short locks bouncing off his shoulders through the light breezes.
“Hey,” he says once he catches up to you, barely panting. “Can’t leave a lady walking home alone, now can I?” he smirks.
You feel your face go hot against the biting cold. “I can take care of myself better than you can and you know it,” you smile.
You shake your head amused, as you walk besides each other. The streets are strangely empty, and you look up briefly to a starless sky and- “Hey, look! It’s a full moon today,” you comment as you stop walking. Through the thin clouds, the moon hangs high. “It’s got a halo!”
“Yeah. It does,” Dazai lifts his head. “Hey, did you know that the halo we’re seeing right now is just created by clouds and light rays by the sun?”
“Eh, something like that, I’m not entirely sure about the specifics,” he shrugs. “Just something I remember from a book I read. Not even sure if the halo we’re seeing right now is the same as the one the book was referring to.”
The street lights are an old yellow, and the shadows twist as the two of you walk past. A chill runs down your neck as you shiver and Dazai turns to you. “...Cold?”
“Very,” you say as a fleeting cloud of warmth escapes your throat, and then you feel the weight around your shoulders. You look up at him, baffled, and sure enough, he’s taken off his signature coat, now draping around you.
“You’re going to catch a cold, Dazai!” You exclaim as concern floods your features.
“I’ll be fine, really! You’re so cute when you’re worried~” he gushes, obviously teasing.
“I insist,” he smiles.
The coat does its job at warming you, smelling faintly of his cologne and something oddly salty (Probably sea water, you think). You’ve never seen him without his coat on, you notice as you glance at him. The ends of his bolo tie are waving against the breezes, and his hands are stuck in the pockets of his beige pants. Despite all of the street lights, his eyes remain as dark as the starless night.
Then you realise you don’t know where he goes when the day ends at the Detective Agency, or when his birthday is, or anything about him, really.
There’s pretty much nothing you know about him.
“What’s your favourite color?” You blurt suddenly, immediately regretting it as soon as the words escape your mouth. He doesn’t seem to notice how flustered you are, or at least he’s kind enough for once to not point it out as his eyes roll skyward, contemplating.
“Hm. I’ve never really thought about that. Yellow? The warm kind, not the green-ish kind, that’s gross. But not too bright, like an advertisement. Like a mustard, but… brighter,” he rambles, before turning to you.  “My turn! What’s your favourite yellow flower?”
“Carnations, maybe?”
For a split second, you think you see Dazai pumping his fist celebratorily before he regains composure. “Really? What color?” he asks, seeming a lot more excited.
“Mm, red!”
“Yes! ” he grins widely. “I knew that was a good color to pick-oh. Wait, um,” he stops in his tracks, suddenly looking uncharacteristically awkward.
“So you really were the one putting flowers on my table! That’s kind of sweet, though I was getting sort of nervous as to who was giving them to me.”
“Do you think it was creepy? It wasn’t meant to be, I swear,” he panics, eyes widening slightly.
“No, it’s alright, I kind of knew by the sixth day, I was just waiting for you to tell me, actually,” you giggle as he groans dramatically. “Atsushi ended up telling me he found you at the flowers shop out of guilt.”
“Damn! I was trying to be so sneaky about it too and he just rats me out?” he moans into his hands, pouting and you swear he’s the only one who can pout as an adult and still look endearing. Maybe besides Ranpo.
He comes to a stop underneath a lamp post. “Hey.”
“Yeah?” You turn around, cocking your head.
“Do you like me?”
His eyes gaze into yours, like he’s searching through your soul for the answer.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” your confession slides off your tongue, and it comes easier than expected. His shoulders loosen. You raise your head from your shoes to look at him and he looks the most nervous you’ve ever seen him.
“I’m not exactly the best person to be in a relationship with. Obviously, and I haven’t exactly been told right out, but I’ve always known. I’m not responsible, you know that, and I...I don’t know if you’d want to stick around once you get to know me. Honestly, I was sort of hoping you’ll never get to, but… “
His hands are shaking, and he lifts his head up to face you, eyes filled with determination. “I want to try. I can’t promise I’ll get it right all the time, and I definitely don’t deserve this, but-”
Your mouth was soft, and you seemed to melt into him and the second he closed his eyes he couldn’t open them again. He wanted more. You were so warm and it was so cold-
“Your face is red,” you smile. He blinks. The kiss ended too quickly, he decided, like it took something from him, and he needed it back.
“It’s the cold,” he lies. You laugh, and he swears it's the nicest thing he’s ever heard as you lean in again.
“Yeah, okay,” you whisper, and your mouths fall together again.
The next morning when you walk through the doors of the Detective Agency, your hands are intertwined with Dazai’s as he complains about his clogged nose and his nasty cold, and sure, it’s like he said. He’s annoying, irresponsible and you know near to nothing about him, and you’re sure it’s nothing pretty.
But you have all the time in the world. And when he’s ready, he’ll tell you all about it.
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thisisthehardestthing · 5 months ago
wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:
this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.
okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.
with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.
okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.
speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.
also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.
oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.
hello anon <3
It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.
I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.
Fic Spoilers below the cut.
everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.
Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read. 
details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.
ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.
i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.
fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.
the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.
kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!
thank you again for the pacing comment <3
i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment 
hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.
i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly
ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.
To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.
So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x
Thank you.
Spasiba x
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queeniecamps · 5 months ago
Time to talk about my hella far fetched CC theory bc I’m full of stuffing and pie and yet still STARVED for camp camp content
Okay, here me out
Back in season 3 (Dial M for Jasper), David stated he never got to apologize to Jasper because “his parents picked him up”, when in reality, we and the trio know that Jasper was actually killed in the cave on Spooky Island in a dynamite explosion.
Even if David was just told by Cameron that Jasper was sent home, how wouldn’t have Jasper’s parents sued Camp Campbell for killing their son? How’d he pull that off? Who or what did they pick up that day?
Well, I have a wild theory that’ll garuntee anons calling me a dumb bitch and tbh, u do that dsdfsdfdgd
Remember back in season 2 during Eggs Benefits where Cameron said “Yeah, I’m just saying, make sure the guy looks like me”? This proves that Cam indeed has connections to doubles
But this got me thinking, more specifically about the lab in the basement of his summer home on Spooky Island
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It’s pretty clear some experiments went down here, experiments that QM seem to be up to, believe it or not
At multiple points, QM has/tried to take DNA samples from the kids. He’s taken Nikki’s hair (and what we can assume is the hair of other campers)-
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And in Season 4′s season premiere “Keep the Change” Cameron insists on taking his blood and QM is right up for stealing it
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This, and the fact that Quartermaster has been working at the camp since David and Jasper were campers (and, possibly, since the camp first began), we can rightfully assume they’re at least a little close (friends?? brothers?? secret lovers??)
Now, what does this mean? Well, QM is known for traveling to Spooky Island (albeit, for sex related reasons), and the fact he’s collecting all these samples? And what for?
Well, I think QM may just be Cameron’s secret lover I mean his secret Lab genius who forms experiments at his will. Yeah.
But really, think about it. QM’s weird, but he’s not an idiot, he’s up to something and he knows something we don’t know.
But where am I going with this theory? And not just that they’re probs fucking?? WELL-
I think that Cameron had QM collect samples of Jasper’s DNA (whether before or after the explosion is up to you), and used what he’d collected to make a clone of him in his lab.
Why a clone? Well, as I mentioned earlier, Jasper was “picked up” and the camp hasn’t been shut down for murdering a kid (...maybe twice?? Gwen’s had to sign paperwork for a dead kid, but that’s for another day), and it would’ve been EXTRA suspicious for Jasper, who was trying to dig up dirt on Cameron and the Camp’s whole operation only for him to suddenly “disappear” under mysterious circumstances, so it only makes sense for Cam to have QM make a clone of him.
Now, what inspired me to come up with this theory was actually because of a few things I noticed, and it’s specifically about almost all the blondes (excluding Tabii and that blonde townie in Sleepy Peak that wears the trucker hat) we’ve seen in CC.
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Blonde hair, blue eyes.
I believe Jasper’s clone was one of the first successful clones made by QM, 16 years after he made and potentially experimented on his fish son, Graggle
(side tracking here, but QM mentions he adopted Graggle 30s years ago when his fish mother “died in (QM’s) arms. We were a bit of a thing”, so this leads me to believe this anglerfish we see in the screenshot I posted earlier is actually his mother who died during one of QM’s experiments, and perhaps he tried to make their son a “human” so he could be a legitmate father??
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 that one’s REAL far off, but it adds onto this one lol. And, the fact that Graggle never blinks adds onto my next point-)
So, it makes sense for Cam and QM to clone Jasper, but why David and Gwen? And where does Ered fit into this? Well, we’ll get to her later.
Now, about Daniel, I have two theories on this part.
What if after Jasper’s clone was made, Cameron would be worried about David finding out the truth? I like to imagine that after Jasper’s clone was a sucess, or even as a precaution, a clone of Davey was made. But, after realizing that David’s indeed an unsuspecting idiot of a kid, they simply sent the blonde lil Davey off, only giving him a basic name of “Danny”
Eventually, this kid’s alone on the streets, only to be picked up by a cult, later on coming back to Camp Campbell not knowing of his true origins as a clone, but finding the idea of going to camp and posing as a counselor exciting... 
Or B (which would also explain Jen))
Cameron figured they’d either find out the truth as adults while looking through paperwork, or he was experimenting and tried to make the “model camp counselor” to hire off and make big bank off of, giving them slightly different names, and planned on later killing both David and Gwen to instead use his new genetically superior counselors, up until they gained free will and escaped into the real world, but maybe they’re a lil kooked in the head with the whole cultist and satanism things going on, but who knows
Now, onto M(ered)eth...
So, this is a BIIIIG stretch, but bare with me.
So, remember earlier in the theory where I mentioned that Gwen’s had to do a bunch of paperwork for a dead camper, as stated in canon here?
Well, what if Ered was that camper? Where maybe a year or a few prior to canon (before Max was there, even) there was an accident, and a camper wound up dead, and the parents knew.
Cameron, being Cameron, sent out his people to come “take care” of the parents before they had the chance to sue after losing their precious daughter, all this during the stages of cloning them a new daughter to send back to them.
This left this poor clone kid orphaned, which eventually lead her to being adopted by a certain couple of agents that’re after Cameron’s ass.
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(this was... a REACH... my ankles be hurting)
Anyways, this was all fun and I’m tired and FINALLY got this theory off my chest. We’ve come to conclusion that either all the blonde blue-eyed ppl in cc are clones or that cameron and QM are lovers, and I’ll accept either as canon at this point
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