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goodgirlsfanficawards · 3 years

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Happy Monday! Start your week off right with five angsty authors who wrote their first Good Girls fic since 1 April 2020 and we can’t wait to read more.

Cinnamon_schnapps started posting in June and since then has completed one 18 chapter fic and started two more. Their fics feature heavy topics, crime, unplanned pregnancy, marriage, and everyone’s favourite: jealous Rio.

Risky Business

Completed 09 Nov 2020, E, 60K, 18/18, 262 kudos

When single bachelor Rio has an itch he frequents local strip clubs to find someone to scratch it, leaving all attachments beyond the physical dormant. One night he meets a woman who makes him change his mind about everything.

Loving and Losing You.

Updated 11 Nov 2020, M, 28K, 6/8, 145 kudos

One day Christopher “Rio” Martinez made a mistake at the heat of the moment that caused him to loose the most important woman in his life. It will take them years to reconnect but will a lie threaten their happy reunion?

See you soon, yeah?

Updated 27 Sept 2020, E, 10K, 4/?, 130 kudos

When Elizabeth Marquez’s husband disappears leaving her a widow, and single mother of two young children she has to figure out the life he left behind in order to survive ruthless criminals and shady business dealings.

alittlemystery posted their first fic in September and have written three more since then. They write hurt/comfort set in/around season 3.

Maybe It’s Karma

Updated 27 Oct 2020, M, 7.2K, 4/5, 380 kudos

The blood spurts out of her mouth and down her chin, she tries to cough, to catch her breath but that just makes it worse. She can hear someone yelling at her, over her, touching her. She tries to focus on it but they sound underwater, her sight all hazy, numbness spreading throughout her body.

What Happened?

20 Oct 2020, T, 934, 1/?, 158 kudos

Beth is found unconscious. Inspired from a behind the scenes photo. “So I’m not the only one thinking it right, Rio found you and brought you here?” Annie concludes “Or he was already with you” Ruby suggests

A Matter Of Time

20 Oct 2020, M, 1.5K, 1/1, 242 kudos

He was back, and he was going to kill her, but what if… what if she tried to beat him to it? - Beth tries to take matters into her own hands, again. And not in a way he expected. Set somewhere during early season 3.

Kithi1 first started their currently five part series featuring Rio POV, a number of missing scenes and a full WIP s3 rewrite in November.

His Elizabeth Boland

27 Nov 2020, T, 927, 1/1, 30 kudos

Part 1 of His Elizabeth Boland series

Based on season 3,ep 3 (egg roll) Rio comes back from 'the dead' and confronts beth at the bar with intention to off her. This scene plays out from rio's POV. And I gotta tell you, he's not a happy camper. He's here to cap a bitch!

Remembrance

28 Nov 2020, M, 2.1K, 1/1, 40 kudos

Part 2 of His Elizabeth Boland series

So when Beth Boland told Rio that she was pregnant, what did he do? I mean, did he just go home all comfy and what-not? Where's that scene? Also, what happened in Beth's bedroom with Rio; when he "hit it while her husband was at work." 😀 (God! That man is petty! Love to see it.) Like Ruby, I just wanted to know: how was it? was it good? Missing scenes and flashbacks from Rio's POV.

Him, Her, Them.

01 Dec 2020, M, 5.1K, 3/3, 42 kudos

Part 3 of His Elizabeth Boland series

Dear Reader, these 2 have feelings. But they're idiots. Idiots in love. Okay, so beth told Rio that she was pregnant. Season 3, ep 3 and then she came home from grocery shopping and he was waiting to take her on a little ride. (the way he says, "hey, now" gives me shivers. Damn!) So they took a little ride. How did that go. I think it was fraught with all kinds of tension. Emotional tension, sexual tension; knife. Amiright? They would probably like to keep those thoughts/feelings to themselves. Can't have that now! And plus the golden gun may or may not be in play. 😋😋 Oh and eyefucking. *blush. Soooooo much of it. And we all know how well they do do that. I'm living vicariously through them and fully intend on going down with this ship.

lopezuuus ( @riveramour ) starting posting in November. They write angsty headcanons and reminiscences, sometimes with sad endings and a fic about Beth and Rio embracing his dark side during sex.

a lifetime of firsts

26 Dec 2020, M, 10K, 1/1, 90 kudos

Rio reminisces about his and Beth's firsts.

Natural Habitat

Updated 14 Dec 2020, E, 28K, 7/?, 329 kudos

Part 1 of prompts and headcanons series

A collection of headcanons and prompts about Beth and Rio, because I can't get enough of them. Prompts are 99% of time unrelated to each other.

murder on my mind

30 Nov 2020, E, 2.6K, 1/1, 88 kudos

Beth gets off on Rio murdering people.

elizabethmarks only has one fic for Good Girls so far. It’s a dark WIP with a lot of angst and hurt/comfort but a promise of a happy ending.

My Girl

Updated 26 Nov 2020, M, 9.8K, 5/?, 260 kudos

Another Brio fic. ❤️ A lot of dark. And a lot of light. A lot of feels. Thank you for reading! Read notes for trigger warnings.

If you know of anyone’s tumblr/twitter and we haven’t found it or tagged incorrectly, please send us an ask to let us know.

#good girls nbc #nbc good girls #good girls fanfiction #good girls fanfic #beth x rio #brio fanfiction #brio fanfic #good girls fic #brio fic #motivation monday

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delicatebluebirdruins · 3 years

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Heartland s14 ep 1 take 2

tumblr was supposed to save my previous post to drafts so I could add to it (and did not do it which I did not realise until I looked at my notifications and someone had reblogged it in other words OOPS sorry)

to repeat myself anyone criticising Graham for his decision to leave and the timing of it will be blocked, and I wish Graham himself all the best for his future projects

under a read more because spoilers, a rant with some swearing and lots of rambling so it got long

so first I’m going to go off topic a little bit and rant because this hurt a lot when it happened. Last September I woke up one morning to the news that my favourite character (Bellamy) from the numbers show was shot and killed by my other favourite character (Clarke) for the most stupidest reason ever (she killed Bellamy over a sketchbook which he wanted to give to the bad guys... to protect her daughter... AND THEN SHE JUST BOUNCED AND LEFT THE SKETCHBOOK THAT MIGHT HAVE ENDANGERED HER DAUGHTER ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO THE BAD GUYS THAT WERE STILL LIVING). So i was still dealing with the death of my favourite character and the subsequent dragging through the dirt of both Bellamy he died alone thinking everyone hated him. No one really mourned him, he was all but forgotten except for a few throwaway comments that ‘he was right’. No one felt regret about not believing him. No one spoke up and said they wished he could have been here on the beach at the end. He was erased from the narrative and a minor character who died in S3 and whose story had already been wrapped up overshadowed him (and almost everything else that happened in the already shitty finale*- like seriously all of humanity was forced to join a universal consciousness and you don’t have to know a lot about science fiction to know it is really bad). (and everyone thought he was dead and his gf was ready to go on a killing spree about it for revenge but when they found he was actually dead they all just shrugged it off and said he died the moment he joined the bad guys when they were standing in the presence of another bad guy who was on that side for a lot longer and was only a recent turn coat) and Clarke who was the hero of this show was turned into cause of all of humanities sins and not a hero who tried (and then gets rewarded by being let to stay with her “friends” on a beach unable to bear children because aliens turned up as a master race and killed all of humanity and those that were left were made barren? yes in the last ever episode of a seven season show we got introduced to aliens- honestly putting all I know of season 7 into words like this still makes no sense)

*link to the youtube video The 100 Finale... May We Never Meet Again: Talis the person who made the video went off you know if you are morbidly curious

Bellamy was one of my favourite characters and he was done hella dirty. And Ty was another and he got given multiple love letters in just one episode and probably more to come as season 14 progresses. (I laughed as yesterday a youtuber called Hannah King made a video about the first episode of season 14 and I read the comments one of which saying that Ty was done dirty by the writers and I just??? I was hella tempted to put that rant above this part in a response to that comment good lord)

so onto Ty and Heartland

I watched the entire of season 13 in a day and cried a little when Ty and Amy got shot... and it hurt but was also very cathartic to watch because the worry and care was brought to the forefront like Ty not even realising he was shot and his panic was a very real moment

so when fandom started speculating about Ty’s death my only thought was if he did die he would do it with a complication with the gunshot wound and I was right. But it didn’t hurt as much to think about because I trust the writers even if they have made some missteps in past seasons. However, because of Bell and the faith I had in the writers back then (I trusted the writers until I remembered after the death because main character hater was promoted to head writer) I was also worried because of that.... Heartland is essentially the only ongoing show that I’m still actively watching and not just searching for spoilers.

I rewatched the first episode of season 14 twice (will probably do so again maybe)

Ty’s death was handled well, the blurring of the doctor delivering the news and Amy mentioning that the funeral was a blur (I kind of hope we get a flashback)

So it goes without saying the timing of Graham leaving and Ty dying is hard because of Covid-19 and the loss (all forms like normal routines, lives and you know what i mean I hope) that comes with it.

Because of everything in real life and the real life grief a lot of people have been going through, one of the many parts during the episode that made me tear up and cry a little was Grandpa Jack’s and Amy’s heart to heart in the fishing cabin. It was a very real moment the mentioning of how difficult Grandma Lyndy’s death was for death despite it being expected and how unexpected Ty’s was. And Jack saying “there is no right way to grieve” is possibly the most important part of it as there is no right way, and grief is not linear its not a straight line it will be very hard to deal with for a long while.

“keep me in your heart“ was a very strong start and I can’t wait to see what comes next (I hope at some point we see some old friends and Scott turn up and react to Ty’s death). And I am so glad that the cast and crew are talking about it in videos as a message to fans

in the end Ty was loved completely by the family and he loved them the same. the rest is confetti

#anti jason rothenberg #heartland #long post #my post

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starksinthenorth · 5 years

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An Analysis of Jon Snow’s Spoken Parts of GOTS8

In Season 8, Jon Snow said a total of 1608 words across ~162 lines.* His most common words were: know, queen, need, all, back, north, how, want, stark, when. Of those lines, 2 are quotes. 38 are questions.

The people he mentions:

Three times: Arya, Bran

Daenerys: 2; Dany: 3

Sansa: 5

Sam(well): 4

Twice: Ned Stark, Lyanna

Once: Jorah, Aegon, Rhaegal, Rhaegar, Robert, Grey Worm, Tywin Lannister, Cersei, Maester Aemon, Tyrion, Gilly, Little Sam

Houses: Glover (1); Stark (2); Umbers (1); Lannisters (2)

The number of statements per general topics:

D/S Conflict: 7

WotD: 9

Family: 18

Family AND D/S Conflict: 11

D/S Conflict AND WotD: 2

Family AND defending Dany's crown: 2

Dragons: 6

Flirting with Dany: 4

Non-fam Reunions/Goodbyes: 19

His birth/kingship of all Westeros: 18

Defending Dany's crown: 8

Distancing from Dany: 1

Distancing from Dany AND defending her crown: 1

Other: 13

In Battles: 14

About battle v. Cersei: 8

Battle v. Cersei AND D/S conflict: 2

Defending Dany, general: 4

Advice: 6

Concern for Dany's well-being: 2

Forgiving Tyrion: 3

Questioning Dany: 3

post-killing her reflection: 3

*some of these are condensed into the same line and I counted by hand, so might be a lil off.

EPISODE 1 - WINTERFELL

Arriving at Winterfell

[to Dany] I warned you. Northerners don't much trust outsiders.

[to Bran] Look at you. You're a man.

[to Sansa] Where's Arya?

Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen. My sister, Sansa Stark, the Lady of Winterfell.

In Council

We need to send ravens to the Night's Watch as well. There's no sense in manning the castles anymore. We make our stand here.

It's not important.

You did, my lady. It was the honor of my life. I’ll always be grateful for your faith. But when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North.

Godwood Reunion with Arya

How did you sneak up on me?

You still have it.

Have you ever used it?

Jealous?

Where were you before? I could've used your help with Sansa.

Sansa thinks she's smarter than everyone.

Now you're defending her? You?

Yeah. I'm her family too.

Dragons/Waterfalls

She doesn't know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn't like me either when we were growing up.

What's the matter?

What's wrong with them?

I don't know how to ride a dragon.

What if he doesn't want me to?

What do I hold onto?

You've completely ruined horses for me.

We'd be pretty old.

It's cold up here for a southern girl.

With Sansa

"House Glover will stand behind House Stark as we have for a thousand years." Isn't that what he said?

I told you we needed allies.

I never wanted a crown. All I wanted was to protect the North. I brought two armies home with me, two dragons.

Do you think we can beat the Army of the Dead without her? I fought them, Sansa. Twice. You want to worry about who holds what title, I'm telling you it doesn't matter. Without her, we don't stand a chance.

Do you have any faith in me at all?

She'll be a good queen. For all of us. She's not her father.

With Sam

Sam? Were you hiding from me?

What are you doing in Winterfell? Or did you read every book in the Citadel already?

What's wrong? Gilly? Is she all right?

Little Sam?

Know what?

I'm so sorry. We need to end this war.

Well, I've executed men who disobeyed me.

I wasn't a king.

I gave up my crown, Sam. I bent the knee. I'm not King in the North anymore.

What are you talking about?

My father was the most honorable man I ever met. You're saying he lied to me all my life.

Daenerys is our queen.

That's treason.

EPISODE 2 - A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS

Jaime Trial

We need every man we can get.

With the Wall Crew

I thought we'd lost you.

How did you find each other?

The Umbers?

How long do we have?

Voiceover

They're coming. We have dragonglass and Valyrian steel. But there are too many of them. Far too many. Our enemy doesn't tire. Doesn't stop. Doesn't feel.

War Council

We can't beat them in a straight fight.

The Night King made them all. They follow his command. If he falls Getting to him may be our best chance.

We'll put you in the crypt, where it's safest.

If they're in the field, they're not protecting Bran. We need to be near him. Not too near, or the Night King won't come. But close enough to pursue him when he does.

Let's get some rest.

Your Grace.

With Sam and Edd

No.

If you want to join them. To protect them.

Now it's just us three.

In the Crypt

Lyanna Stark.

He didn't. He loved her.

They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell on the Trident, she had a son. Robert would have murdered the baby if he ever found out, and Lyanna knew it. So the last thing she did, as she bled to death on her birthing bed, was give the boy to her brother, Ned Stark, to raise as his bastard.

My name. My real name is Aegon Targaryen.

I wish it were.

Bran. He saw it.

And Samwell confirmed it. He read about their marriage at the Citadel without even knowing what it meant.

It's true, Dany. I know it is.

EP 3: The Long Night

The Night King is coming.

Dany!

[to Viserion]: Get off!

[to Dany]: Bran!

EP 4: The Last of the Starks

Funeral

We're here to say goodbye to our brothers and sisters. To our fathers and mothers. To our friends. Our fellow men and women who set aside their differences to fight together and die together so that others might live. Everyone in this world owes them a debt that can never be repaid. It is our duty and our honor to keep them alive in memory for those who come after us and those who come after them for as long as men draw breath. They were the shields that guarded the realms of men. And we shall never see their like again.

Party

[to Tormund] No, not in one go. Vomiting is not celebrating.

[to drunk!Tormund] Yeah, I didn't have much say in that.

In his Rom w/ Dany

No. Only a little. I didn't know Ser Jorah well but I know this. If he could have chosen a way to die, it would have been protecting you.

I told you I don't want it.

I'll refuse. You are my queen. I don't know what else I can say.

I have to tell Sansa and Arya.

She won't.

I owe them the truth.

It won't.

You are my queen. Nothing will change that. And they are my family. We can live together.

Battle Council

The Northmen as well.

We'll surround the city. If the Iron Fleet tries to ferry in more food, the dragons will destroy them. If the Lannisters and the Golden Company attack, we'll defeat them in the field.

(to SANSA and ARYA) The Northern forces will honor their promises and their allegiance to the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. What you command, we will obey.

Godwood w/ Starks

You understand we'd all be dead if not for her. We'd be corpses marching down to King's Landing.

Her men gave their lives defending Winterfell-

I swore myself and the North to her cause.

You don't know her yet.

If you only trust the people you grew up with, you won't make many allies.

Arya-

I've never been a Stark.

I need to tell you something. But you have to swear you'll never tell another soul.

You have to swear it, before I tell you.

Because we're family. Swear it.

Goodbyes to Tormund, Gilly, and Sam

[to Tormund] Just a horse. Rhaegal needs to heal. He doesn't need me weighing him down.

This is the North, you know. And the Free Folk are welcome to stay.

It's where he belongs too. A direwolf has no place in the south. Will you take him with you? He'll be happier up there.

I wish I was going with you. This is farewell, them.

[to Gilly] I hope it's a girl.

You too, Sam.

EP 5: The Bells

With Varys at Dragonstone

Just crossed the Trident. They'll be at the walls of King's Landing in two days. How is she?

She shouldn't be alone.

Aren't you worried for her?

We're not much for riddles where I'm from.

That's her decision to make. She is our queen.

What do you want?

I don't want it. I never have.

She is my queen.

With Dany

I don't want it, and that's what I told him.

I love you. And you will always be my queen.

With Tyrion

Daybreak at the earliest.

During Battle

Move, move!

No! Get back! Get back!

Stay! Stay!

Stop!

(to a woman) Find somewhere to hide.

We need to fall back! Fall back behind the wall! Fall back!

Get out of the city! Fall back! Fall back! Fall back!

EP 6: The Iron Throne

Pre-Dany’s Speech

[to Tyrion] It's not safe. Let me send some men with you.

Grey Worm! It's over.

With Arya

What are you doing here? Hey, what happened?

She's everyone's queen now.

Wait for me outside the city gates. I'll come find you.

With Tyrion in Jail

No.

Not that I've seen.

You didn't.

I can't justify what happened. I won't try. But the war is over now.

And you've been by her side, counseling her. Until today.

You think our house words are stamped on our bodies when we're born and that's who we are? Then I'd be fire and blood too. She's not her father, no more than you're Tywin Lannister.

Cersei left her no choice.

She saw her friend beheaded. She saw her dragon shot out of the sky.

Ah, it's easy to judge when you're standing far from the battlefield.

What?

I don't know.

What's it matter what I'd do?

"Love is the death of duty."

Maester Aemon said it a long time ago.

That's her decision. She is the queen.

I'm sorry it came to this.

My sisters will be loyal to the throne.

She doesn't get to choose.

At Iron Throne with Dany

I saw them executing Lannister prisoners in the street. They said they were acting on your orders.

Necessary? Have you been down there? Have you seen? Children, little children, burned!

And Tyrion?

Forgive him.

You can. You can forgive all of them, make them see they made a mistake. Make them understand.

Please, Dany.

The world we need is a world of mercy. It has to be.

How do you know? How do you know it'll be good?

I don't.

What about everyone else? All the other people who think they know what's good.

You are my queen. Now, and always.

With Tyrion, post-sentencing

There's still a Night's Watch?

Was it right? What I did?

It doesn't feel right.

I don't expect we'll ever see each other again.

Stark Goodbyes

[to Sansa] The North is free, thanks to you.

Ned Stark's daughter will speak for them. She's the best they could ask for.

[to Arya] You can come see me, you know, at Castle Black.

You think anyone will dare tell you women aren't allowed?

I don't know.

You have your Needle?

[to Bran] Your Grace. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me.

#gots8 #asoiaf meta #jon snow #sansa stark #daenerys targaryen

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diyarlight · 7 years

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Broken souls mend together

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Prompt: Set after season 6, ep 18 “Lauren.” The reader was roommates with Emily, and goes to Spencer for comfort. Inspired from the scene where Reid had admitted of thinking of taking drugs again to JJ after Emily comes back in season 7, ep 2.

credits to the amazing poster @hotchnerfuckmeup

Part 2

Spencer stared at the syringe and the small bottle that he placed on the top of the sink. He looked back at the mirror, staring at his own haunted expression and red eyes. He could do it right now and no one would bother him. It wouldn't hurt this much anymore.

But Emily would be so disappointed.

He shut his eyes closed as he swallowed the cry that was lounged in his throat. It's been five weeks since Emily died, and it still hurt to even think about her. The guilt of not doing enough and the crushing pain he would feel whenever he saw the empty desk beside him was enough to plunge the needle into his arm. He just didn't want to feel anymore, and he wanted this pain to go away. If he couldn't save Emily, then who could he save?

The doorbell ringing snapped him out of his thoughts and panic bubbled inside his stomach. He quickly shoved the syringe and bottles into the cupboard, looked at himself to make sure that nothing was wrong before he could see who the guest was. He quickly crossed the rooms to open the door, and his breath hitched when he saw who it was.

It was Y/N.

She was drenched, and Spencer didn't even realize that it was raining outside. His heart clenched when he saw the red eyes and haunted face, and he blinked rapidly to hide his own tears. "Hey," She said, giving him a tired smile. "Were you sleeping?”

He shook his heads and stepped aside to let her in as he took in her hunched form. "You're drenched," he said and wanted to slap his forehead because what a great question genius.

"I was just walking around," She answered, her voice scratchy. "It suddenly started to rain and I didn't have an umbrella."

"You were walking around? At this time?" He said, his voice a bit louder than usual. It was past midnight, and you would think that she would be more careful considering what they see at their jobs.

"It's better than staying at home," She whispered, and immediately Spencer felt bad for raising his voice.

Y/N had joined the team just after Rossi and immediately connected with Emily first before him. Y/N couldn't find a steady place to stay so Emily offered her apartment and the two quickly became best friends and roommate. So for Y/N to be in a place where she spent so much time with Emily must be hard.

"I am sorry," He whispered. “Come in, I’ll get you some clothes for you to change."

"No Spence it's-"

"You'll get sick. Please," He said, and Y/N reluctantly nodded her head. He went to his room and got out with some of his old clothes. With a grateful smile, she took it and headed towards the bathroom. He strode to the kitchen and put the kettle on, knowing she preferred tea over coffee. He started the coffee machine and rubbed his face to keep the tiredness away for now.

“Spencer?”

He turned to Y/N and froze at what she was holding. He looked back to her face, expecting to see the disgust or pity in her eyes, yet all he saw was empathy. As if she knew exactly what he was feeling, or going through right now. Wordlessly she placed the syringe and the Dilaudid on the coffee table and searched her bag for something. She took it out and placed it beside the Dilaudid.

Razor blades. Three of them.

He looks back at her, shock clear on his face. He really looks at her now, taking in his sweater and his sweatpants hanging on loosely. There is a vulnerable expression, her posture hunched in as if to protect herself from criticism or disgust. What drew him the most is the tears that filled her eyes, threatening to fall down. He could feel his own eyes tearing up as he crossed the room and took her in his arms. They both broke down, clutching onto each other as they cry their hearts out.

They don't know how long they say there, embraced and lost in their grief. The whistling from the kettle broke them out of their embrace, and she looked guilty at his wet shirt. "Sorry about that," she said, nodding at the wet spot on his shirt.

"Don't worry about it," Spencer murmured, wiping away the remaining tears. With a small smile, he walked to the kitchen to get the tea and coffee. Y/N sniffled, wiping her tears with Spencer's long sleeves. She looked back when Spencer enters with a cup of her favorite tea. She smiled tiredly, noticing his dark circles and red eyes.

"Thanks," She whispered, and with a tug on her arm, they both sat on the couch. She tucked her legs under her, keeping some space between Spencer. There was a hesitation in the air as if they were not sure of themselves after such intimate moment.

“I never told anyone about that,” Y/N said, her voice soft as she nodded to the blades. “That’s why I was walking around. If I was in my apartment, I think I would have given in.”

“Oh,” Spencer mustered, continued to look at his coffee. “I understand. If you hadn’t come maybe I would have too.”

“What stopped you?”

“Emily,” Spencer whispered, tears immediately filling his eyes.

“Did she know?”

“The whole team knows, except for Seavar and Rossi. It happened when she was new,” He answered, a shake in his voice. “We were on this case-“

“You don’t need to tell me,” she told him in empathy. She knew how hard it is to open up about something like this, and that’s why she never told anyone when she moved to Quantico.

“I want to,” he looked up at her, his face showing determination. “We were on this case in Atlanta, and the unsub was suffering from dissociate identity disorder. One of his personalities would torture me while Tobias, the unsub, would drug me with Dilaudid. He said it would help, but it only made things worse.”

There was a haunted look in his eyes, and Y/N reached over to hold his hand. Spencer snapped out of his memories when he looked down at their intertwined hands, and he looked up to see her up close with a broken expression. She squeezed his hand, letting him know that she was there and if he needed to stop it was fine. There was no judgment in her eyes, just understanding.

“He made me choose which family to kill, and I had to. They died right in front of me,” his voice cracked at the end, but Y/N didn’t make a move to get closer. She let her own tears flow, her heart aching for the man sitting beside her. He wasn’t looking at her, just staring forward and continuing with his story.

“I had to kill him and his last words were thank you. I took the two bottles of Dilaudid from his dead body, and I tried at first to not get high. But the pain and nightmares were too much-“

“And you wanted an escape,” she finished for him.

“Yeah,” he agreed. He swallowed down in nervousness, trying to not break down again. “The team noticed, of course, but they couldn’t do anything officially. Emily was new at that time, and it was easier to snap at her than others.” He concentrated on the patterns she was drawing on top of his hand, drawing comfort and courage to continue.

“But she was very understanding,” He continued, looking back at Y/N with teary eyes. “Hotch couldn’t talk about it officially because then I would have lost my job. Gideon helped, but even though I have been clean for 3 years 2 months and 28 days now, the cravings never leave. It only increases when you are in pain.”

“I know,” Y/n consoled, continuing to draw circles. She placed the cup with her free hand, and gently, almost hesitantly, placed her head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer. They both needed the comfort, whether it was physical or emotional.

“My parents divorced when I was 14. It was really messy, both of them were fighting over every single thing. I felt so lost because I always thought that they loved each other you know? Everything got too much for me, so I started to cut myself,” she started, and maybe it is because Spencer was open about his experience that it makes it easier for to do the same.

“Cutting is another outlet for coping with problems. It may help you express feelings you can’t put into words, distract you from your life, or release emotional pain. 90% of people who engage in self-harm begin during their teen or pre-adolescent,” Spencer told her, rambling off statistics. He winced outward, knowing that facts were not comforting words to many.

But it brought a small smile on her face because she knew that facts comforted Spencer, and she knew that it was his way to comfort others. “Then my dad died in a car accident when I turned 17 and made sure that my mom would not get a single penny,” Her voice suddenly shook, remembering the numbness she felt at that time. Spencer tightened his grip, now his turn to draw circles on her hand.

“He left all of his money and properties to me, and that made my mom so mad. As soon as I turned 18 she threw me out of my house. It didn’t matter really, they both stopped being my parents a long time ago. I guess my dad left everything for me because of guilt. The cuttings made me feel better, but I tried to get better when I started college. I got help but it never went away you know.

“Then I got pregnant.”

“What?” He stuttered, not expecting that. His mind went blank because Y/N never talked about her child, and his eyes widen with the possibility of why.

“A lot of people thought it was the biggest mistake of my life. 18 and pregnant, but she was the best thing that ever happened to me. The father got scared and ran off, but it didn’t matter.”

“What’s her name?” He asked tenderly, his heart heavy with sadness for the woman beside him.

“Lily,” she whispered, her voice breaking into a sob. She sniffed back, blinking her eyes to stop crying. It was so hard to even say her name after so long. “It was so weird. She hated lilies because she said people would always give her that rather than roses. But I finally had a family. It was just me and her, but it was more than enough. Everything was perfect. It was hard but so worth it.”

There was nostalgia in her voice, a longing that he knew that would always be there. He choked back his own sobs, trying to stay strong for her. “How did she-“

A shudder went through her body as she shut her eyes closed and clenched her jaw. He felt her shudder and brought her closer to him in order to comfort her. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” He whispered to her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I couldn’t save her. I was the youngest detective at that time with the highest success rate in the state and I couldn’t save her. That’s why I became a profiler so that others won’t have to go through what I experienced. But I couldn’t save Emily when it mattered the most, and now I feel so useless. If I can’t save those who I love, then what’s the use of this job Spence?”

“I know,” He whispered, burying his head in her hair. She practically sat on his lap, tucking her head in the crook of his neck as they both grieved. They don’t know when they stopped crying or when they both fell asleep on the couch, legs tangled and bodies pressed against each other.

All they know is that it was the first time since they didn’t have a nightmare since Emily’s death.

…

The moment Y/N wakes up, she instantly knew that it wasn’t her bed. She felt someone’s breathing down her neck, and she opened her eyes to find herself flushed to someone’s chest. She looks up to see Spencer snoring softly and mouth slightly open. She smiled at the cute look on his face and notices that he has his arms wrapped around her waist, making it harder for her to get up. She glances at the coffee table, taking in the blades, syringes, and the half-empty cups and suddenly realizes that she didn’t have a nightmare.

She had a light headache and her eyes felt dry because of all the crying she did last night (or was it early morning?) and she was squeezed on the couch with Spencer. But all she felt safe, with his arms around her and legs tangled with each other. She settled back onto his arm, closing her eyes and going to the dreamland with him.

It was the weekend, so she knew that they won’t get called in. All she wanted right now was feeling safe, and in his arms she found it.

She hoped that this would never end.

#criminal minds #criminal minds one shot #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #jenifer jareau #emily prentiss #derek morgan #david rossi #penelope garcia #my work

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cinagray · 7 years

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SPN ask game

@hullosweetpea tagged me for this a million years ago. Thank you!

1. what season did you start watching supernatural? - Technically I started watching at the very beginning. I had a kid about a week or two before the show started, and I watched most of the first season as it aired. But then baby became toddler, and then I was pregnant again and sleeping a lot... TV watching kinda just stopped.

I decided to watch from the beginning as season 9 was ending. The first 8 seasons were available on netflix, and at that time I had the entire month of May off work. I started from episode 1 and ran through the end of season 8 by the end of that month. Season 9 came out right as season 10 was starting so I recorded season 10 as it aired and blazed through season 9 in time to watch 10.04 live.

2. who was the first character you fell in love with? - Dean. I identify with him so much.

3. who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love? - Don’t hate me, y’all... but Rowena. It took me several episodes to “get” her.

4. which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with? - Soooooooooo Jody

5. if you could go on just one date with one character, which one would you choose? - Donna!

6. what would you do on the date? - Food and live music.

7. which character would you most want to be like? - Jody. I love her resilience, and the way she kept moving forward in her life after losing her kid, her husband, learning about the supernatural-- and now she’s parenting two women in young adulthood, and acting as support system to our boys.

8. which character would you most like to see brought back from the dead? - If I can only choose one it’s Eileen. She was so perfect for Sam.

9. which character would you most like to punch? - Zachariah, goddammit

10. who is your absolute favorite character? - DEAN.

11. which “big bad” do you think was the worst? - Dick Roman. I just... bleh. I mean, he was good for dick jokes, but that was about it.

12. which character are you most like? - I most identify with Dean’s inner monologue, but in a more general way, I think it’s Jody.

13. what death hit you the hardest? - god-fucking-dammit EILEEN like I couldn’t breathe after that happened. Like Charlie was horrific, but Eileen was so out of nowhere, and they had so heavily telegraphed a future relationship for sam and eileen...

14. what season finale hit you the hardest? - oh that’s a hard one. The end of season 9 has such a visual impact, so that was my first thought, but the end of Season 5... Dean going to Lisa, stepping out of the life because his brother was dead and he was trying to honor Sam’s request... *sob*

15. what are your ten all-time favorite episodes? - What kind of question is this? It’s like choosing my favorite kid. (None of these are in any particular order)

The Executioner’s Song (10.14)

On the Head of a Pin (4.16)

In My Time of Dying (2.01)

Two minutes to midnight (5.21)

No Rest for the Wicked (3.16)

Faith (1.12)

Baby (11.04)

The End (5.04)

The Man Who Would Be King (6.20)

Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox (12.06)

16. what’s been your favorite season? - I think it’s season 4.

17. who is your favorite angel? - Cas. Like that’s even a question

18. who’s your favorite demon? - Meg

19. who’s your favorite evil character? - I heart Abbadon

20. do you have any supernatural ships? - Dean/Cas and Sam/Eileen primarily

21. who’s your favorite supporting actor? - I want to be Kim Rhodes when I grow up.

22. what’s your favorite quote from the show? - There are so many, but the line about tacos tasting funny gets quoted frequently at our house. My kids even say it and they’ve never seen the show.

23. if you could cast one famous actor in an episode of spn, who would you chose? - I kinda wish they’d have William Shatner on and let Castiel kill him in some sort of horrible way.

24. if you could write your own episode, what kind of creature would you like to see included? - I always love the eps where it’s a mythological creature with a twist.

25. who’s your favorite girl that dean’s hooked up with? - I really liked Lisa. She was good for him.

26. who’s your favorite girl that sam’s hooked up with? - I wish Madison’d had more time.

27. what are some of your favorite convention moments? - I love when they all seem relaxed and like they’re enjoying the time even though they’re “on” and working.

28. if you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on spn, how would you want your character described? - Definitely a gray character. Chaotic neutral. Fuck with the timeline just for fun, sometimes for evil, for good, for profit, wtf ever.

29. what do you hope to see in the next season? - I’m trying not to pre-imagine anything for next season, because I will surely be disappointed. I’m open to the whole 2 universe thing because I think it affords opportunities, And I do hope that they truly move Cas forward in his own line. I hate that they’ve been stringing each step of his personal narrative out so long.

If I had control of this, Fandom would be in a world of hurt. Cas would be Death, and Dean would truly know what he lost. Sam’s loss of Eileen would mean way the hell more than they showed on screen, Claire would have a Dean-like spiral down as a recurring story, and part of how Dean comes to grips with what happened with Cas is in saving Claire.

30.-40. if you had to choose… bobby or john? Bobby bela or ruby? Ruby jess or madison? jess jo or lisa? JO charlie or kevin? Charlie balthazar or ash? Ash cas or crowley? Cas ben or claire? Claire jody or donna? I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! sam or dean? Dean

Tagging: @formidablepassion @rosemoonweaver @thayerkerbasy @porcupine-girl @reallyelegantsharkfish and anyone else I missed

#spn meme #meme #ellie says

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tvannotations · 7 years

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Best of the First Half of 2017 TV

Hey, it’s halfway through the year! Here’s an arbitrary list of the best 20 shows so far, with some viewer-friendly ‘Watch If’ taglines! (My apologies to NYT’s ’Watching’ feature, which should be a mandatory email newsletter for all mediavores.)

20) Better Call Saul

I’m in the camp that found Jimmie’s brother drama to be tiresome, but necessary to bridge the gap. Kimmie was this season’s MVP, and the only reason it notched its way in.

Watch if: you watched Better Call Saul S2.

19) American Housewife

American Housewife is an exceptional joke machine with a great emotional core, super supporting characters (especially Ali Wong) and the show treats ‘Katie’ as a real person instead of a ‘larger-than-life personality’.

Watch if: you like Roseanne, Grace Under Fire, acerbic leading women that don’t have time for your garbage.

18) Girls

Fuck the haters; Girls was always great. Sure, it was often messy and privileged, but it was always earnest, and always showcased point-of-views and relationships that were rarely depicted on TV. The final season was a well-earned bow.

Watch if: you haven’t already dismissed Lena Dunham.

17) Mary Kills People

Way, way back in 1998, there was an episode of Millennium named ‘Goodbye, Charlie,’ which focused on a doctor who dealt with arranged suicides and the cops that followed him. This is basically full season of that, but gender swapped and with kids shoehorned in.

Mary Kills People isn’t a perfect show, but it’s the best we have to a Breaking Bad successor in that: the protagonist is following a dark path she feels innately drawn to.

Watch if: you like murderous anti-heroes that still feel good about themselves, or if you are a Caroline Dhavernas fan.

16) Great British Baking Show

This show is still great, but part of me thinks that it’s a good thing that it’s fragmenting, because there are a lot of self-aware digs in the show that really detract from the wholesomeness that we all tune in for. I know I won’t stick with the original, but I do hold out hope for whatever everyone else has jumped ship to.

Watch if: you like baking, nice people, or Sue Perkins.

15) Zoo

I’m probably slightly influenced by binging the entire first two seasons just prior to the 2017 premiere, but goddamn, this show is my kind of bonkers. Caroline Framke said it best:

https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/7/6/15905042/zoo-cbs-season-3-review-hybrids-wow-just-wow

Watch if: the concept of a rhino’s blood growing into a fetus that can telepathically communicate with scientifically-grown hybrid animals appeals to you; you enjoyed reading Margaret Atwood’s Oryx & Crake.

14) Patriot

A TV espionage show via I Heart Huckabees. I’m still not entirely sold on the sustainability of the show itself, but there’s one scene in S01E08 that is a masterpiece of camerawork, blocking, and scripting that I'll be thinking about for some time.

Watch if: you liked Fargo S1, or read the prior paragraph and realized you should have watched I Heart Huckabees.

13) Superstore

I’ll let Maureen Ryan explain why you should watch this:

http://variety.com/2016/tv/features/superstore-nbc-america-ferrera-ben-feldman-season-two-olympics-1201841147/

Watch if: you liked Parks & Rec, or like work-family hangout sitcoms

12) Review

The darkest of all meta-comedies finally brought the hammer down.

Watch if: you like Christopher Guest films, cringe comedy, people’s lives being destroyed.

11) Great News

Look, this isn’t a 30 Rock spin-off, it’s a ‘zanier’ riff on Mary Tyler Moore and, while it took a few eps to find its footing, it’s one of the only ‘classically’ created comedies on the air right now (despite the single-camera, the joke construction is all old-school.)

And yes, I know Nicole Richie is in the cast, and it's the role she was born to play.

Watch if: you like to laugh, liked 30 Rock/Mary Tyler Moore, or like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

10) Big Little Lies

Remember when we all laughed at David E. Kelly when we saw a leaked version of his Wonder Woman pilot and thought he lost the plot when it came to women, characters, and screenwriting? Apparently he found it again.

I’m not a huge fan of Big Little Lies' narrative structure, or its very questionable asides, but the performances alone are worth watching for. Plus they stick the ending, which is more than I can say about most HBO minis.

Watch if: you like suburban melodrama or neo-noir.

9) Twin Peaks: The Return

I think it’s shortsighted to even attempt to mull over Twin Peaks: The Return until the season is over, but goddamnit, the eight episode was astounding, and will undoubtedly be the cinematic TV high of the year. (At least until the next mind-blowing Twin Peaks episode.)

Watch if: you have seen Twin Peaks, other Lynch works, don’t mind existential horrors.

via GIPHY

8) Legion

Presentation is everything.

Watch if: you like the surface unexplainable; didn't find the above description maddening.

7) Steven Universe

I’m a bit behind on Steven Universe, but S4 really blew up the universe in unexpected ways. While it was low on musical numbers, it was high on emotion.

Watch if: you like empathetic scifi adventures; you have a kid; need some queer-positive mindthink.

6) Mystery Science Theater: The Return

Full disclosure: I backed the Kickstarter and am a diehard MST3k fan, and saw them live for my birthday this year. However, initially, I was skeptical of the end result; while I’ve enjoyed the side-riffs from the MST3k folks (like Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax), I wasn’t sure Joel could recreate the magic, but I donated simply because he previously brought me so much joy.

My skepticism was wrong; ’The Return’ crackles as brightly as any MST3k season, and is an utter delight to watch and re-watch.

Watch if: you know what MST3k is, or are snarky about films that fall short of shooting for the stars.

5) Brooklyn 99

Brooklyn 99 has it all: it’s a gag machine, rom-com, action-sitcom, poignancy; until this past season it’d mostly avoided socio-political discussion, but it executed it in a brilliant and heartfelt way.

Watch if: you like to laugh, especially at deadpan reactions from Andre Braugher.

4) Please Like Me

Please Like Me is a journey of a 20-something gay man, his friends, and family, and it’s so warm-hearted, but doesn’t flinch from the realities of wounded people. While the show’s been discontinued by the creator, I desperately hope for a revival 5-10 years from now.

Watch if: you like cooking, good friends, and aren’t afraid of sudden tragedies.

3) The Good Place

I’m a sucker for high-concept comedies, and The Good Place amped it up in the back third of their season. No spoilers, but the end of the first season is an exhilarating delight that will make your head spin.

Watch if: you thought LOST needed more laughs.

2) Downward Dog

I believe Downward Dog’s manta (even back in its YouTube days) was: make the viewer empathize with all of the characters, then make the viewer feel like shit for empathizing, and then let the viewer cry out their frustration upon reflecting on their own life. Admittedly, this is not a great engine for a dramedy, but it was exceptionally realized and it was oddly bold programming choice for ABC. Unfortunately, like all recent bold ABC sitcoms (Happy Endings, The B— in Apt. 23, Selfie, etc.) it was canceled, causing more tears.

Watch if: you like bittersweet rom-coms; you like or hate dogs; hate or think you love yourself.

youtube

1) The Leftovers

It’s still difficult to articulate how amazing and moving the third season was, so I won’t bother; The Leftovers went out as perplexingly as it started, but with an character core it wore on its sleeve and a flurry of batshitcrazy that somehow still felt emotionally grounded and satisfying.

Watch if: you like kitchen-sink melodramas and can suspend disbelief; liked Fringe; like antithetical love stories.

via GIPHY

Disqualified shows:

Don’t @ me; these weren’t in the list because I can’t watch everything, but I’m working on ‘em. I have another six months.

12 Monkeys

American Gods

Dear White People

Handmaid’s Tale

GLOW

The Keepers

Jane the Virgin S3

Master of None

The Mist

One Day at a Time

Preacher S2

Sense8 S2

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S3

Wynonna Earp S2

The Young Pope

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