#sapphire rants

[whore-for-chris-evans]

When I started writing my first fanfiction (I was 14 or 15), as soon as the first two chapters were done, I immediately made my mother read it. She started with great enthusiasm, but the moment she realised it was fanfiction and "not an actual story", she promptly gave me my laptop back and said "You can't publish fanfiction; this isn't going to get you anywhere, stop writing this."

So of course I had to steal time in the middle of the night to get it done. Which wasn't easy.

There was a period of about a year where I didn't write anything, partly because of this.

Then a year later, I finished not only the 20-chapter story, but also its 20-chapter sequel. Started two more fics. And then another.

Now I write on tumblr. I haven't posted said stories, the later ones aren't even finished yet. But I write. And I enjoy it, and I've gotten better.

Only thing is, I don't have anyone at home to share my excitement with. There's no one to listen to me as I read a paragraph out and ask for feedback. No one to proofread stuff and share my love of writing. My mother has always appreciated good literature and the way I write, but she doesn't know I still write fanfiction. She wouldn't let me if she did.

She also doesn't know that I'm an editor. I can't tell her; she won't understand. It's sad, because it would have been great to discuss all of this with her and have someone at home to encourage me. There isn't.

The point of me ranting all this?

When someone's showing you something they did, or made, it's because they trust and love you enough to want to share their excitement with you, and they're relying on you to support them and push them higher up. So if any of you have friends or siblings who come up to you and tell you they did really good in a game, or just finished a new piece of art, or suddenly wrote a new poem/song, DON'T JUDGE THE ACTUAL CREATION.

You may not like it - that's fine. If they ask for honest feedback, point out the places where they could get better, but don't project your choices onto them. You may not approve of what they're doing, but you should let them grow and enhance their skills [as long as they're not doing something harmful/illegal]. Please keep in mind that they're coming up to you with hope and pride in their hearts.

Don't squash that. It could shut down that creative aspect of their character, and break their faith in you.

Tell them you're proud of them, tell them it looks great/they did great. Match their vibe. Tell them you'd love to see more. It doesn't cost much, but it is a lot for that someone. You have no idea how much brighter you'll make their day.

#sapphire rants #my baby sister (adopted online) #she does a lot of stuff #gaming and drums and editing and art and comic strips #and she shows me all of it #and it's so heartwarming to see her get excited over it #she's a cute little nerdy banana #so yeah

[shutitk]

Vent ig? Nothing explicit but there is referenced bad mental health and referenced sh

I see your posts and your art and your status. I see that you're clearly not ok I promise

But how do I breach that gap with you? I reblog and vote and note but how do I say "I'm here for you when you need me" without sounding pretentious?

How do I know what to say before you've started talking to me about it? How do I build that bridge, and not just cross it once you've built it?

I see the scars and the scabs and the blood and the records. But how do I offer you bandages, words and hugs so far away? It's not fair to let you drive down here all the time but how do I know if it's OK to drive up there?

I promise. I see you

#when you're far away #I can’t give you a hug #and that’s all I know to start with #sapphire rants #I'll tag just to be safe #cw self harm #bad mental health #this is about someone but I feel like many people will understand this feeling

[musashi]

I’m Going to Change Your Mind About Manfred von Karma: An Essay

alright been a while since i was particularly autistic on here but I’ve been meaning to make this into a General Masterpost for a while so here we go.

Today on Autism: the twitter/tumblr AA fandom, manfred von karma, over-villainification, and why fanon manfred (fanfred) is in fact fanon and indisputably a freezing cold take.

alright, so first we have to define some things. first off: what the fuck am i talking about when i talk about “fanon” in relation to mvk?

specifically, i am talking about the interpretation of his character that i see mostly prevalent in tumblr, twitter, and AO3 as spaces. this interpretation pretty universally places him as an unrepentant child abuser. the extent of this abuse varies from fanwork to fanwork, most often it is verbal but occasionally it is physical instead or in tandem. usually this abuse is directed at miles but often bleeds into franziska as well, with some alternate takes proposing that one of them is the favoured child and the other is wholly disposable in manfred’s eyes. again, which is which can vary. i’m not going to go into explicit detail about this, but just for a quick visual aid, let’s utilize AO3′s tag filtering system.

as of this moment, if you go into mvk’s tag on ao3, there are 1102 total works that he features or makes an appearance in. ao3 allows you to filter out tags you might not want to see, so i’ve gone ahead and done that with all the child abuse tags i see used on the site, as well as a special custom tag the AA fandom has for mvk specifically. that should be the first indication that this particular interpretation about him is common. here’s my filters:

doing this knocks the work count down to 943. that’s roughly 150 works shaven right off the bat, and that is 1. only the works people bothered to tag him in and 2. only the works they bothered to content tag. there are countless fics about miles and franziska where he is not a central character, but his proposed abuse is a part of the narrative important to them as characters. so these numbers don’t even fully exemplify the problem.

having spent some time in multiple AA spaces, i have noticed this interpretation only really seems prevalent on tumblr, twitter, and AO3. in other fan spaces like discord servers, forums, on youtube, in twitch communities, i literally do not see this anywhere. 

so. why is this the prevailing interpretation on these websites? well, that one’s easy for me to answer: miles and franziska are incredibly queer & nd coded. they are incredibly full of trans/gay swag and incredibly autistic, and miles isn’t just coded as neurodivergent, he very loudly very canonically has PTSD that causes him to struggle with everyday life. this is played straight and normalized in canon. there is no disputing this.

historically, queer and nd people are not treated very well by, well, anyone. including our own parents. we have sky-high rates of child abuse among us for perceived imperfection, and the rest really just writes itself. we latch onto characters that we see ourselves in, and we write what we know, and unfortunately what a lot of us know is heartbreak.

this is bolstered by something i noticed just anecdotally, having read through the entire mvk tag a million times: people who are attached to miles and franziska tend to write him as an abuser. people who are attached to any of the pre-DL6 crew (gregory, gant, & blaise) do not.

to get this out of the way, there is... literally nothing wrong with this. there is nothing in canon that contradicts that opinion about manfred. there is no problem if you want to write him that way, and if writing him that way is a form of healing for you, i want you to write it to your heart’s content. i want you to write and write and write until one day you feel better, and then i want you to write some more. listen. i love you. i feel you. i understand.

the problem is that this opinion has become SO parroted (hahaha, like the-- like in the game when--like wh--) that it has now been more or less canonized in the eyes of this swath of people. it is not canon. it is a headcanon. i will hereby be referring to this headcanon’s version as “fanfred,” because it’s fucking funny and my clown shoes honk and squeak as i move.

when challenged on this point (“what basis to we have for manfred von karma being abusive to his children?”) here is the one single piece of evidence that team fanfred brings to the table, these lines from case 1-4 of AAI:

here, manfred brushes off his daughter’s attempt to connect with him and calls miles worthless to his face. undoubtedly, and without question, there is no part of this that is not incredibly fucked up. 

but... i do have some counterpoints, regardless.

point 1: AAI, imo, should be considered dubious canon. it was not written or directed by takumi and there are a lot of little inconsistencies in characterization that seem to fly over the AAI team’s heads--the biggest one for me personally is how in the AA trilogy, franziska never ever uses her whip on miles, except once in bridge when he’s having a trauma episode. this is a very small piece of characterization that means a lot to the people who notice it! but it’s ignored in aai, where she whips him nonstop like he’s an unruly showhorse.

all that to say, the aai team has their own interpretations of these characters. there are subtleties they miss, and choices made that might seem obvious upfront but fall apart under a microscope. this is kind of how i feel about mvk being kind of a shitty dad here, especially because...

point 2: this is ooc even for this game. reminiscence is a case i have memorized front to back, these lines come out of fucking NOWHERE. the tone set for miles & manfred’s relationship at the beginning of the case is not adversarial or unpleasant! they talk about the case with one another, very politely take turns proposing ideas and theories, and miles listens enraptured hanging on mvk’s every word. he wants to do good. he wants to be perfect. and mvk wants to see to it that he achieve that goal. if rell and faraday hadn’t gotten murdered, we would have gotten mvk as co counsel! every day i think about how we were robbed of that. nothing leads up to this line above. it is weird, confrontational, triggered by nothing, and way out of left field. not to mention directly contradictory to what mvk said at the beginning of the case, claiming to expect perfection from miles. it’s a weird fucking outburst, a sudden statement, which brings me to point three:

point 3: lead poisoning. more on that later.

[EDIT APRIL 2023: holy fucking shit. alright, nevermind, throw all this off the table: this line was a fucking mistranslation. as one of my youtube commenters pointed out:

‘The Investigations quote is actually a translation error. Karma didnt call Miles "Worthless" on the original JP version, he calls him "半人前" what means "an amateur / someone without experience" (what, for every single meaning of the word Miles actually IS in this case. It's literally his first case and he wasnt supposed to be anything more than a assistant untill like 5min before the game starting). 

The translation put a really heavy amount malice on Karma's phrasing that simply doesnt exist on the original (and I actually got my DS the first time on years to confirm this). Maybe because they knew so many fans had this vision of Karma (or are "Abusive Karma fans" themselves), because there's  no way this kind of translation wasnt done on bad faith... It's the worst option you could take (as in: the only one that wouldnt work in the context out of 10 others) and seems like a proposital Character Assassination on the translators part.’

so, holy fucking shit. i was right. it WAS ooc, because that shit was thrown in randomly in english for no apparent reason]

but even if we DO decide to consider AAI indisputable canon. then that, i feel, opens up a whole new can of worms. if AAI is canon material, what else can we consider canon material? because i’ve got quite a lot of material of one manfred von karma from other dubiously canon sources, and uh. the fanfred crowd is not gonna like it.

from the mangas we have manfred keeping no less than 5 photos of franziska on him at all times and showing them off to his opposing counsel with little to no prompting. we have him screaming at badd to keep a careful watch on his kids, not wanting to deny them their time at a real crime scene investigation but being worried to the point of seething rage. 

(a bit more subtle, but from this same manga we have him getting his feefees hurt because kay calls him scary. i really love this because 1. it’s a parallel to pearl doing the same thing to franziska in bridge, and 2. it’s just really funny that von karmas want little girls to like them and view them as heroes of justice so bad but are constantly dissuaded by their resting bitch face. manfred has two daughters, he’s so used to little girls thinking he’s cool.) 

in the live action movie, we have a beautiful scene where mvk and miles talk about the importance of not losing yourself in the pursuit of courtroom victory. i really love mvk in this movie. my friend once described him as someone’s grandpa who’s just lost in the mall.

in the anime! oh! the anime! let me count the ways i love thee.

in the aftermath of DL6 manfred comes to move miles out of his empty childhood home. seeing him balled up and unresponsive on the couch, mvk takes off the scarf he’s wearing and wraps it, tenderly, around miles before escorting him out of the house.

by miles’ own admission, he considers mvk the only person who was there for him after his father died.

sound the turnabout melody, an episode about miles’ life growing up with the von karmas, is my favourite piece of ace attorney media in the history of ever. it contains:

mvk asking and outright encouraging miles on the prospect of being a defense attorney

franziska, age 8, who has noticed that the new boy living in her home has never once smiled. she spends the whole episode trying to figure out ways to fix this. she demands (demands!) mvk 

take them to a trial

take them to the mall

take them to fucking IHOP 

and mvk complies with all of this. he buys franziska build a bear, and when she’s too sad for pancakes because miles has run off after his dog, the two of them go searching.

by the way he lets miles keep his dog, too. 

the reason miles ran off is because he happened upon a criminal and saw through her lies. franziska and manfred fall back around the corner, watching him seek the truth and corner her. when she begins to get unruly, they step in, presence imposing as they protect miles. there is a lingering set of shots on manfred’s powerful finger snap, his eyes burning into her, and franziska with her riding crop, ready to fight a grown woman three times her size. miles is a part of their family. they love him.

miles apologizes for all the trouble. mvk says, let’s get pancakes. miles wins several thousand dollars in reward money for finding a dog and says, can i donate it to an animal shelter? mvk says, of course you can. it’s your money.

mvk was intending on only looking after miles temporarily as a foster parent. he states, outright, that he suspects this impulse came from guilt. he says, in few words, that he regrets what he did, and views taking on miles as his karma for it.

the episode is about miles feeling lost and alone, like he has nowhere, like he has no future. he doesn’t want to be a defense attorney anymore--it reminds him of what he’s lost. mvk watches him corner this criminal, and thinks, quietly, are you a prosecutor, boy? at the end of the episode, after franziska and mvk have solidified his importance in their family, manfred ties a cravat around miles’ neck. miles understands this gesture means he is a part of their family and, for the first time in years, he smiles with his whole face. the episode ends with him finally feeling as though he’s found his truth, his place in the world.

many people interpret manfred as losing respect for miles, berating him, or being otherwise cruel and abusive to him when he loses his first case in turnabout sisters. in the anime, he just seems perplexed!

he gives him some advice about not having feelings. it’s cliche anime villain, but fuck’s sake, it’s not cruel and unusual. today i experienced a fanwork where manfred slapped miles in the fucking face and called him every horrible thing under the sun.

in every single canon i can think of, there is more evidence that manfred was exactly as he seems--a stern mentor, who is cold and calculating and precise, but who has a clear charisma and functions as miles’ rock. in every single canon, miles loves and respects him. miles wants to be more like him. miles views him as an irrefutable part of getting through the trauma of his father’s death. franziska, too, talks about him with stars in her eyes in every canon. he is everything she aspires to be, he is her hero. fanworks where manfred forced these children to be mindless prosecuting machines pale entirely in comparison to what is in these ‘dubious’ canons, where they choose what they do because they want to stand tall beside him.

so. let’s talk about what manfred von karma is instead of what i personally believe he isn’t.

manfred von karma is a despicable fucking human being. he robbed two men of their lives. he ruined the life of every single character in the OG trilogy. do you have a character you like in the OG trilogy? manfred von karma ruined their life. every single horrible thing that has ever happened in ace attorney’s og trilogy happened because of him. and it didn’t even happen for a good reason. it happened because he was a petty, vengeful, impulsive coward of a fucking man who could not process or face head-on one single, meaningless imperfection. it happened because there was a gun at his feet and no one around to stop him. and he almost got away with it. he was so close.

he is a murderer. and a cold, calculating manipulator. he is both a fucking idiot and highly intelligent in covering his tracks. he is all these things. 

so... why does he also have to be abusive?

isn’t... doesn’t that kind of... blunt the tragedy of it all?

what is a more heartbreaking story to you--

a monster of a man, imposing and cruel to his proteges, controlling and vile and unconvinced of their worth, exposed for the murderer, for the criminal he is? or...

or manfred von karma, stern-browed but loving father, who leads them with a steady hand and holds them when they falter, who was supposed to be their guiding star, and who turned out to be the monster in the shadows all along?

what is more compelling? miles and franziska finding out the truth, and shrugging it off with a, well, that makes some sense. or miles and franziska, curled up in one another’s arms in an empty house in germany, desperately combing their memory in tatters trying to look for a sign, any sign, anything they could have pinpointed that could have clued them in on the fact that he--

but of course there wouldn’t be anything like that. von karma is perfect.

turnabout goodbyes is certainly interesting. there’s a lot of really unhinged shit going on there. herr turkey vulture is off his fucking rocker in goodbyes. the level of premeditation is a very interesting contrast to the impulsivity of DL6. not to mention it’s just a very fucking random thing to do, framing miles for murder. it’s the one reason i can kinda see where the fanfred crowd is coming from, because it is just... pointlessly evil. what revenge is there left to get? gregory edgeworth is dead. he cannot see his son be jailed. 

this brings me back to lead poisoning. i don’t really have anything more to say on that, or a big analysis to give. i just think maybe we should talk about the very real possibility that mvk is lead poisoned to shit. he acts kind of crazy sometimes. calling his kids worthless out of nowhere when 2 seconds ago they were all just talking normally. screaming in the middle of court cause his routine got interrupted. framing miles for murder in excessive detail. just girly things. i feel like his brain just rotted and rotted and rotted as the years went on until eventually he was like YEAH sure whatever i’ll really stick it to gregory, the corpse, by framing his son. that’s just my onion, though. 

some other things that annoy me are when people make him transphobic, homophobic, all the phobics, again it’s all just so... excessive. but i get REALLY pissed off when people make him ableist. if you want to write ableism, ace attorney has a billion able-bodied characters you can use for that agenda. manfred von karma is disabled. in canon. i feel like it’s kind of a slap in the fucking face to erase that about him.

again, i personally find the story less compelling if he was abusive. i find it shallow. i would much rather read about someone loved and revered exposed for the monster they are. i want to read stories about franziska shattering to nothing and sobbing in his room when she gets the call from miles, trying desperately not to think about the way her father used to sing her lullabies and bring her sweets and teach her calligraphy. i want miles to be trembling in the defendant’s chair while that metal detector beeps, i want him to be staring at his shaking hands unable to believe it, trying to find any other line of thought. i don’t want their reactions to ANY of this to be ‘yeah, that tracks.’ i want denial. i want heartbreak. i want screaming in the detention center. 

it is fine if that is not what you want, but i am tired of the reception my take gets in fandom. people on this website have not only forgotten the rule about not tagging your hate, but they are insistent that their interpretation is the only one. they act as though fanfred is the only truth. they act as though it is canon, and they call us abuse apologists for disagreeing. i once saw someone in the mvk tag saying if you liked manfred or kinned him you were a horrible person. i rather like my mvk kinnie friend. all he does is cry over seals, talk about thomas the tank engine, and come into the group chat where he then proceeds to tell dad jokes in character. he’s really good at motivating me to do my laundry.

if you need to process some shit you went through growing up, i love you. if you want to write what you know, i love you. but please understand that i, as an abuse survivor myself, am not compelled by narratives of abuse. i am not compelled by torture porn about the characters i relate to. i was not given a happy, loving home growing up. it’s for this reason that i want to give the characters i love and relate to what i was deprived of.

i want to change the fandom’s mind about manfred von karma. i want to shift the narrative away from this my way or the highway mentality. if i didn’t, that’s okay. but if i did for you, maybe give me a reblog, or come talk to me abt him :] he is my favourite villain in any series ever, i think. i’d love to hear what others think.

#pwaa #ace attorney #karuma gou #manfred von karma #wendy rambles #wendy rants #simmering sapphire

[signed-sapphire]

Ooooh!

Your last answer about Asha’s parents really sparked me another question for her!

If the stars are responsible for ruining her life before, does she have strong negative feelings towards Cielo since he’s a star himself? Is their first impression really bad because of the trauma she had?

Because dang, that’s an interesting dynamic right there if that’s the case ✨

Asha’s still mad at you for your last question. Sorry, Flicker. So I’ll be answering your question for her! Totally not bc my iPad died and I want to answer this right away lol

Short answer… yes.

Long answer? Uh, yeah. She’s the one that let Cielo in, and she goes into a panic attack because of that. When she actually sees them for the first time, she’s about to spiral again, but stops herself because she has to get the star before Magnus sees. That’s the thing about Asha, she has incredible denial. She tells herself [redacted], but she cares more about Magnus and Amaya than she lets herself realize. Cares about everyone more than she lets herself realize.

Their actual first meeting, when they talk, Cielo is all excited and happy but recognizes Asha is panicking and tones it down a bit. Asha is also sort of in shock because he’s acting understanding towards her and helps pull her out of another panic attack. Then there’s the whole “I’m a Star” thing (which, for the record, I’m going to edit) and chaos ensues.

Cielo shows Asha stuff about herself that she’s been denying all this time. That the Stars that killed her parents and wreaked havoc on the world were… something I’ll be exploring a bit more later on.

But also, seeing a star in her kingdom just wipes away that facade Asha put up, the spoiled royal brat face she shows everyone. So it’s sort of because of her fear, and Cielo helping her overcome that fear, that the true Asha is able to show herself (ha! Disney reference)

#hope this was understandable lol #I just sort of went on a rant #I love these asks they allow me to show some things that I’m embedding in my story #ye #disney wish #the fallen star au #wish 2023 #asha x star #star x asha #asha #human star #starsha #princess asha #sapphire asks #ask the tfs cast #<— sort of?

[mildhigh]

People on aj complaining about the modern day irl money bundles for the 802739263th time like. Did y'all just forget that in order to get a snow leopard, lion, or arctic wolf, you had to buy a 3 month membership gift card before the diamond shop appeared? Like be fr AJ has ALWAYS been like this, don't act like it's just NOW a problem

You could ONLY get these animals with gift cards at that time. Only at Target, too, according to this old jamaa journal! I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's kind of useless to act like animal jam has been "getting greedy recently," because they ALWAYS have been.

#“kids are going to gamble” like they didn't with the dinosaurs?? which you can also buy with sapphires? #idk it really feels like “kids learn about how games work” like this has always been a problem and its certainly not an aj centric problem #yeah the bundles should give you more stuff. yeah you should get 3 coins for $2.99 instead of one. yeah its kind of shitty. #but how is this literally any different from how other games akin to aj operate #like fuck WWs! fuck capitalism! absolutely let them eat shit! but idk it just seems odd only now are people having an issue when- #-aj has pretty much always done this #petpetpark club penguin moshi monsters etc all did shit like this as well #idk. it just seems like a lot of anger is being directed at the coins/unicorns specifically when there's more to criticize abt aj. oh well #faust rants 🔥 #animal jam

[stargazer-sims]

A few thoughts on the partnership between EA and Overwolf/CurseForge...

Personally, I think this is a bad idea on so many levels.

First of all, CurseForge pays creators. They generate money through ad revenue, so the downloads aren't really "ad-free". They just won't put a trojan virus on your computer.

CurseForge has what they call the "Reward System" and if you opt into it, you can get paid for your mods/CC. They aren't shy about saying that you get more reward points the more popular your project is. The points can then be converted into Amazon gift cards (in some countries) or actual money via PayPal deposits.

Essentially, what this means is that the creators who are already super popular and earning full-time job level amounts of money from their mods/CC will have yet another revenue stream (because Overwolf doesn't limit your ability to post on other platforms, such as Patreon or Boosty). Inversely, it means that small creators will earn very little, because one point is $0.05 USD (five cents). You would have to get at least 100 downloads just to earn $5, because they will not pay out in increments lower than $5.

I can tell you, 100 downloads sometimes feels like a lot. I have some creations with thousands of downloads, and some that have less than 100. Exposure and popularity have as much to do with this as with the actual content itself. Small-to-medium creators are not going to earn much from CurseForge, so that's not going to encourage them to join if they're in it as a side hustle. Patreon is still far more attractive in that regard. And if a creator is not into the commercialization of CC at all, then CurseForge may not be the best choice either, assuming they get approved to use it in the first place.

Let's talk a bit more about small or less popular creators. From my understanding, everyone is going to be allowed to apply to put their creations on CurseForge, no matter how big or small, but every creator will be vetted by Overwolf/EA (or "curated" as they put it). I can already see this being a problem for small-to-medium creators, people who are doing mesh edits, tuning mods and recolours. I have seen some absolutely brilliant mesh edits and recolours out there, offered to the community for free, but I suspect not all of these would be accepted by CurseForge. All this is going to do is create further divisions in a community that is already fractured and divided over the monetization of mods/CC and the gap between "popular" creators and small-to-medium creators. It's going to create a competition between creators that should not exist.

CurseForge is also, quite understandably, restrictive in the type of content it will allow. This means any mods that are questionable (sex, drugs, branded clothing & items, etc.) will not be permitted. If you want a mod to give your sim realistic genitalia, or you want them to have an Addidas hoodie, CurseForge is not the place to find it. This will either stifle the creativity of the community, or force these things further underground than they already are. Either way, it's problematic.

I get why EA is doing this, and from a business perspective, it makes total sense. It's about money and control. If they can get enough "good" creators on board now, and get the community used to the idea of one centralized hub for "authorized" CC, it'll be easier to eliminate revenue sources like Patreon later, and easier to make CurseForge the exclusive place to get CC when Sims 5/Project René (it's "reen" without the accent lol) eventually comes along. It's brilliant from a money-making perspective, but it does a huge disservice to the fanbase in my opinion, especially to creators who will never get enough (or any) exposure on CurseForge.

I know this is a bit of a rant, but my immediate instinct when I heard about the Overwolf/EA partnership was a hard no. Personally, I have no intention of trying to join CurseForge as a creator, even when the opportunity becomes available, and I sure as hell won't be downloading anything from it and giving money to people who shouldn't be turning mods/CC into a job in the first place. I've never contributed to the monetization of CC yet, and I'm not about to start doing it now.

/rant

#sapphire notes #curseforge #rant

[reginrokkr]

@apocryphis asked: Their steps resonate like echoes in a holy cathedral; only for the deafening, suffocating silence to smother them a split second after. As dragon and seraphim emerge from the bowels of the serpent, Enkanomiya welcomes them with perfect and utter stillness. Slowly, the sovereign advances, until he reaches the edge of the precipice ahead. Beyond lie islands abandoned, floating in eternal mist; a ceiling of rock and stone casting eternal darkness. The dragon's eyes take it all in, the desolate landscape, majestic still in its immobility, its prison of silence, obscurity like the last blanket of comfort afforded to his banished kin.

Herein lies Enkanomiya, the sunken kingdom; and last repose of the dragonheirs of the depths.

Neuvillette exhales a shaky sigh, barely aware of Dainsleif's presence at his back. So very deep down under the sea, the echoes of the depths resonate within his very core, silent, yet forceful as rogue waves crashing against the hull of doomed ships during a storm. "Forgive me." He finally mutters at his companion's address, eyes closing so as to ward off intrusive memories seeking to ebb at his mind before he grants them permission to. "This place is charged with memories and emotions... I need a moment to adjust." But that is not the whole truth, is it -- hydro is not the only vector welcoming him in those lands like earth craving water after a draught. Deep within his soul, dormant nature stirs - ancient and ferocious, proud and regal even in its downfall. The dragon of water has come home; and to him, Enkanomiya signs the somber hymn of long fallen kin.

Even amidst all his efforts, images slip past - humans and vishaps clawing at one another's throats, each fighting for survival; an artificial light, burning and blinding his retinas; newborn vishaps growing into elements that were never meant to be theirs, freezing and electrifying their vulnerable minds into frenzy; starvation, torture, a laboratory, pain, fury and despair beyond measure. "For as long as I can remember, a part of my consciousness has always been tied to this place... I know not whether I was born here or elsewhere, but... though human-born I was, my memory was always tethered to theirs." The sovereigns murmurs. At his side, Dainsleif's aura may very well be the last tether he has to the present, before getting swept by the tide of memories. "Have I failed them?" His voice is barely a whisper now - he who commands justice and order, a judge and ruler - and perhaps, one day, an executioner. "I am their sovereign... and yet, in five hundred years, I have never gone to rescue them... however few of us are left."

Land of the white night reveals itself before the eyes of the ancient with Hyperion standing proud and high farther from where they stand shining like the artificial sun it is. Now a no man's land that long ago it has been abandoned by following generations of people who once used to be part of the unified civilization in the Era of the Saints, before the Apocalypse struck Teyvat and with it, gods ceased to answer the prayers of the humans. Not only that, but these in particular, most of them turned into ghostfire phantasms, were denied return to the so-called world shaped to allow human life to prosper and locked to coexist with the Abyss in a similar manner as Khaenri'ah did— and to forever war against vishaps whose rest was perturbed by the coming of creations of the god they have come to despise so. Not without reason, for it was by his hand that their kings have fallen one by one, fated to wither away until naught but a shadowy reminiscence of their previous existence is left in the hearts of those who laments their loss— soon to rebirth.

This is only the second time Dáinsleif has ever stepped on holy grounds to the vishaps, not prompted by the necessity to perform the ritual to ensure the survival of the island above, but by his own suggestion to the sovereign of all waters to come visit it at the notion that never before he came. From what little this fallen seraphim can offer him, leading him to some semblance of home that the land of the midnight sun might be to a bleeding heart that has an unequivocally grander connection to this land that he may have with Fontaine.

Ironically, there is some semblance of familiarity within him upon stepping these grounds, too. A more spiritual one he fails to make connection with, tied exclusively with that elusive destiny he has encountered in a moment of being completely at a loss after losing it all. The shape his fate takes after, and a name to go with that represents immense importance to ancients of old that no longer live here, that one day he would like to investigate more about: Ouroboros— perhaps a topic to ask Leviathan himself about, for as far as he's concerned that is no dragon, but a serpent. Even yet, one of the philosophies he reminisces the eidolons murmuring about in hushed whispers when Evernight falls is that dragons and serpents have little to differ about.

Dáinsleif cannot begin to imagine what the coming to Enkanomiya must suppose to Neuvillette's psyche— what memories might return to him in full strength and what sentiments and echoes he must feel and hear the same from these poisoned waters. Sensing his paralysis, his name slips past roseate lips not with the intent to startle him, but to rouse him back to awareness and, if an emotional whirlpool made its way to his very core, give him the strength to emerge from it victorious and not let waters drown the dragon that has authority over them, of all beings.

To Neuvillette's apology, a gentle shake of his head is offered to dispel all enormity of guilt he shouldn't feel. Crystalline blues gaze upon Helios, making a mental note to shut it off at the closest opportunity to spare the draconic rex and all vishaps that are left wandering this soil. For there is no meaning in keeping an artificial sun alight when it has already served its purpose, completely meaningless now that only those whom even know about the existence of this fragment of a fallen civilization and their way to its grounds come here. His gaze returns to Leviathan as he speaks further, glacial sapphires narrowing gentle and compassionate to allow him to express himself in a moment where he needs it most— and when, perhaps, he didn't have a chance to yet.

◜According to scriptures of the ancients that were forced to conceal and leave behind, should they desire to return to the surface, your rebirth in human form was anticipated.◞ He reminisces as much from reading the collection of books that he was requested to retrieve, and, eventually, their completion would become the Sun and Moon collection. ◜Because part of the vishaps had undergone adaptation in mutating their original element for another, provoked and holding no other solution but adapt to their circumstances and do so naturally, you would be unable to be born as a fully-fledged dragon. I ignore how old these scriptures are, but I can attest with entire confidence that they predate the end of the Archon War in Inazuman lands.◞

Celestial azures widen when Leviathan questions himself if he has failed the vishaps and with it, his own heart drops to the pit of his stomach. Stellar pupils quiver within their depths as his eyes narrow, a crease makes its way betwixt fair brows before albescent lashes flutter close as the same question echoes within the recesses of seraphim's broken mind, in his voice, worth all the times he ever questioned himself the same.

At least one of them still has a chance.

◜Too many times to remember have I asked myself the same.◞ Albescent lashes flutter open a tad to reveal quivering, sapphire irises. ◜Even if I am fighting to protect the honor and dignity of my knights, and of the people I sword protection… "Have I failed them?" Would it have been better if only I joined the Abyss Order? Are my actions contributing to the prolongation of their suffering, of those who still exist as hilichurls or otherwise after five hundred years? I was supposed to protect all of them, but I was useless to stand against the gods that brought destruction and desolation to Khaenri'ah.◞ Starlight-kissed strands sway gently with another shake of his head, before Dáinsleif turns fully to look at Neuvillette. ◜Even if things may look presently bleak to you... you are different. There are vishaps scattered wide in these lands, waiting for the return of their kings. Having you back, sensing that your authority is complete and that you are healthy, even if limited to a human form... there is no other light of hope that could shine brighter to them. This light is what they seek.◞

Dáinsleif turns to the precipice thereafter and walks a couple of steps farther and closer to its edge. Celestial eyes close anew to focus as sapphire flames answer his call immediately, engulfing his form entirely so he can fly forward a couple of meters. He turns again, gloved hand extends towards Neuvillette in invitation to follow. ◜Long enough they have dwelt in darkness without their king, but you can interrupt that time with your presence now and bring them hope that they may live at peace knowing that they have guidance now— O' Leviathan.◞

#apocryphis #◟༺✦༻◞ may your sorrow be washed away with tides deliverance; o' mighty dragon ┊neuvillette → apocryphis.┊ #◟༺✦༻◞ let luminous feathers dance under sapphire rain of justice┊dáinsleif × neuvillette.┊ #◟༺✦༻◞ what use has the veil of falsehood? ┊ask.┊ #◟༺✦༻◞ sapphire flames in their wake ┊ic.┊ #◟༺✦༻◞ τόμος θ: Λυκόφως οι θεοί που πέφτουν┊advent of ragnarök.┊ #I ranted at you on D.iscord already about this but #I stan for Dain empathizing greatly with Neuvi's grief #because he experienced and still experience something akin #but under his own circumstances #but at the same time being strong #and giving /Neuvi/ strength to continue #to go meet the vishaps #and to give /him/ hope that even if 5 centuries later #he's in time #overdue perhaps in his mind #but that even if it's this long after the vishaps appreciate his return 😔

[girlyliondragon]

Real talk the thing about making extremely complicated/complex and flawed characters (especially those greatly based off yourself to the point they're your self-created comfort character) that you've grown to be extremely proud of thinking of their stories, is that you also know that there are people out there that will absolutely villainize the fuck out of them or try to 'reason' that they are completely irredeemable even in instances where they have no control over their life and act accordingly or even are pushed into situations where they didn't want to be to begin with or are even trying to be better than they were before even when they have gone through and still go through moments of relapse like any troubled character would in an attempt to make them feel real and it actually really fucking scares me.

I can't give details, but it's like. It's obvious they, the character, aren't a good person, not as a whole anyways and aren't meant to be, in fact said character sees themselves as the worst to exist because in their eyes they deserve every bit of punishment after everything they've done because they are forced to be stuck in the past and mask themselves unhealthily due to repeated mistakes and not wanting to do them again despite making achievements to move on and be happy and despite some telling them that they're doing a good job despite everything and that they deserve to be happy and meaning it rather than trying to placate them, it's obviously up for people to decide their own perception OF that OC from what they read of their story bits to decide whether they like the character based on what they read of them or not, because flaws and shit like this is very compelling to many, myself included.

But at the same time I'm super nervous about the idea of expanding on said character and showing their maladaptive coping mechanisms and behaviors and bad moments alongside their good moments because a lot of people on the internet, especially the very loud ones have no fucking concept of the varying shades of grey morality in the slightest. Even in cases where they are in fandoms with characters with many different forms of grey morality, like it terrifies me that someone could potentially misread everything and ruin my desire to make this OC I'm vagueing about want to not only move on and be better, even if they have to start from the bottom again sometimes, but redeem and even forgive themselves in their own eyes in the process and start anew, just because people have a black/white mentality that they force onto at the expense of others doing so. It really ruins character exploration and growth.

#Wow RANT Alert #''Emerald what stemmed this?'' I was making an extremely complex and complicated sona's story (Not Sapphire's) #which is something I haven't tried to do ever since I abandoned Emi as one given the bleh I had to go through making hers work #due to outside forces making me feel like shit and like it's not a good idea #so I've finally got the balls to do it again. And even intend on being open about it or at least trying to be #but I'm scared to because people don't know how to read between the lines of what makes a good or bad character #they just automatically assume and don't try to dig or even try to understand that the character's grey for a reason #and that its their actions in the now that define whether they are capable of doing better. Not the past ones #I definitely don't want another fandom sona's story loosely based off of myself to be ruined because of bullshit like that. #since it's now turned into a story of self forgiveness and catharsis for myself which is why I'm so banged up about this #But man does it feel like a huge ticking timebomb #which is a shame because I've literally NOT done complex characters in for fucking ever since last year #I want mess and imperfection and to feel like I did a good job making said character's personal growth and backfires feel real #not feel bad for making them extremely messy and imperfect to begin with just because others don't like it #which is ironic because this character started as my ''ideal'' self. Or about as ''ideal'' as they can be in that world #only to not be and instead be more relatable to me as time went on brainstorming them #I want a character who's life closely mirrors mine. only they actually get their happy ending and can keep going with it.

[peachybitch17]

https://open.spotify.com/album/6odEvXlFaV0iTFED7Utu3b?highlight=spotify:track:6mO9n6CncvYtIcfWjFKsYH

The fact that TikTok normies try to bully this girl for making a FANDOM song is insane like bitch how about you bring your SHEIN/H&M cheer captain basic bitch looking ass here and to Ao3 cause we all know damn well you would have a mental fucking breakdown being surrounded by nerds. Fandoms are about nerds and we all know normies like you would never fucking get why we like it 

#tiktok #normies #deragotory #stranger things #steddie #sapphire #tw bullying #tw normies #like can you tiktok bitches not #eddie munson wouldve hated you #and vice versa #rant #rant pose #vent #vent pose #fandom culture #nerd culture

[dalkyeom]

yayyy omg fandom ocs are so fun it’s funny bc each fandom oc I make just becomes like a regular oc for me after time 😭😭😭 I did want to make a genshin oc eventually bc I used to have some but I kinda scrapped them after a while bc I wasn’t really feeling them anymore 😔 also hhh the image of you holding my ocs is so wholesome 🥹🥹🥹 hmm little preview 🤔 a lot of them have abilities because they’re espers hehe so powers!! ✨✨✨ I’ll probs go in depth more once I start posting >:) 🤫🤫🤫

also yeah the story was super cool I loved the Diamond and Pearl clans a lot tbh 🥺✨ and just the overall feel of then game was cozy and almost whimsical which makes sense since many felt like it was a pkmn botw

also mood nap time is always important gl gl with your zine work!! <333 I mainly hung out and went shopping with my mom which we both agreed was exhausting 😭😭😂😂 but it was worth it to get a couple things haha I’m gonna relax and watch fullmetal alchemist so overall good day

HELPPP SAME! It’s like after some time (when you’re not active in the fandom anymore) you’re collecting regular ocs like thanos 😂

genshin ocs are so fun! I think they become more fleshed out if you have someone to make headcanons/interactions with. Mine was more of a traveler oc who became an npc/playable genshin oc pipeline after giving her some backstory. It’s ok to scrap tho sometimes you’re just not feeling them and that’s alright 😌 you can recycle/reuse initial ideas for new ocs hehe

The preview 👀 am excited bc most of my main ocs have some power involved too so bddbd 👀 interaction lore 👀🤲🏻

I really feel like the lore and world building in Arceus is so interesting, I’m really excited to play it soon 🥺 sometimes, I feel like recent entries lack this depth or inspired storylines so the whole isekai/ time traveling aspect is so intriguing. I think the last title game I felt this much enthusiasm for was either diapearl or black/white bc recently I just feel like collecting pkmn > be interested in the story 😭

Thank you!! Amg the sugar crash this month is really making me sleep more so I’m hoping to get more done 😂 HHH FULLMETAL 😭 a childhood classic! I hope you were able to rest well yesterday, Izzy 💖💖

#long txt #on mobile so will put this under a read more cut when I’m on desktop 😂 #amg my lil pkmn rant 😭 #i love it bc I feel like if I was a trainer I’d be part time pkmn contest contestant and part time research assistant #like being able to discover new pkmn is what makes me play HAHAHA #But I really miss the feeling of ‘if I don’t defeat [insert evil team] the world will end!!’ #like I remember crying while playing pkmn sapphire bc the last bits were so challenging HAHAHA and the impending doom #like the I need to save the world while defeating the elite 4 😭 #also I’m biased bc steven stone is the pkmn equivalent of loml 😭 #I dont think I finished my playthrough of diapearl tho bc file got corrupted :’) #but I loved the mini games of making the poke food like peak mwah for me!! #💌 you’ve got mail #Izzy 🌙

[whore-for-chris-evans]

A Word-Portrait of Steve Rogers

[Warnings: Bit of angst, fluff, reader is a simp (like me), Steve is a literal Adonis, feelings that reader hasn't confessed...and oh! Swearing

Steve Rogers x gn!reader]

How can someone be built so fucking perfectly? Like, there are handsome men around the world, and there's this beautiful masterpiece of a man.

You're not sure if anyone quite catches the difference between the two. When you call a man handsome, he's easy on the eyes. But when you call a man beautiful, it means there's an other-worldly aura to his attractiveness.

Like Steve Rogers does.

He is six feet away from you right now, oblivious to your wonder-filled gaze. You are incapable of taking your eyes off him. He has all five of your senses captured; every nerve of your body is currently relaying information only about him. You watch him like a hawk, unknowingly taking note of every little line in his face, the slight dimples when he flashes that lop-sided smile, every twitch of his lips, every tap of his fingers against the hard cover of the book he's reading, every time he licks his lips after taking a sip of his morning coffee.

When he smiles at one of Sam's jokes, it seems as though someone finally drew the curtains out of the way of light, because the room is definitely brighter now. When he talks, his voice, to your ears, is the closest, humanly comprehensible representation of what heaven sounds like. When sunlight falls on him, it appears as though he were crafted out of the same yellow rays that light up the earth in the daytime.

For a moment, he seems divine. Ethereal. Other-worldly. You're positive he'll have wings growing out of his shoulders any moment now.

A bit of golden hair falls in his face, and as he brushes it out of there, you notice his eyes (for the millionth time). They're the most wonderful shade of blue, a shade perhaps destined to remain forever unreplicated. They're the color of an ocean you've seen only in the dreams you can no longer recall. There are tiny flecks of green in them as well, somehow adding a touch of believability. They're filled with a certain sharpness too - a glint that could easily be molded into commanding professionalism, a calm threat, effective persuasion (he is a master at that), alluring sex appeal or simply playful, yet witty humor - depending on what the situation called for.

Those very eyes flick to you every once in a while, but your cognitive thinking is too preoccupied to warn your body that you're running dangerously out of breath. Though, you would gladly die if you were allowed to leave in the same state that you are in now.

His arms are formidably well-built (like the rest of him) and impossibly powerful, but radiating warmth and comfort (if only you were ever lucky enough to feel that). His hands, being those of an artist (a remarkable one at that), are perfectly shaped; however, you've also seen the way they operate in battle, the enormous strength that they hold. Despite that, you just know that his hands could be just as caring, as tender, as gentle as dew on a petal. His nails are always neatly trimmed, adding to the perfection.

He carries himself with a hard-to-achieve blend of confidence and humility, which, in the end, melts into heavenly grace that surrounds his form.

But,

You have seen beyond the surface.

You have watched the confusion and panic on his face morph into hardened resignation upon taking in the new world. You have watched his composure fall apart, you have seen his façade crack. You have found him silently screaming at night, his mind trapped in its own web of painful memories he aches to forget, even in his sleep. You have held his hands as he has poured his feelings out to you - all the loss, desperation, helplessness and anguish. You have wiped his tears, patted his back, stroked his hair (his mother used to do it, and now that he has found out you have the same habit, he keeps finding excuses to get you to do it because it's a strange source of homely, familiar comfort in a time and space far away from his own). You have sat beside his head, singing him into a peaceful, dreamless slumber when falling asleep on his own has proved too impossible.

Which is why you know.

He isn't a god. He's still a human. He really is the same kind of creature as you (boy, aren't you lucky?)

But damn, if he isn't the best fucking specimen of the species you've ever seen.

[Edit (19.01.2023): I just realised I didn't have a taglist for this so here we go, please don't mind this showing up on your dash again

@slut-for-chrisevans @nana1000night @royalwriteroftheuniverse @sarahrogersevans @hawkeyes-queen @peace-love-fanfiction @almosttoopizza @nekoannie-chan @imyourbratzdoll @jamneuromain]

[Edit 2: @mainly-marvel not sure if you've read this so...]

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x gn!reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #this came to me because of an edit of him #excuse the mess above please #this is more of a rant than anything else #Spotify #sapphire rogers

[halflingroguewrites]

Hey there! What arcs of Pokespe have you read? What are your favorite arcs?

hey!!!! What pokespe arcs ive read is kind of an... interesting question?? to make what is probably an unnecessarily long answer short, I first read pokespe as a kid. They had it at my local library, and I would just read random volumes that were in at the time. So technically speaking, I've probably read a good few of the arcs? but all disjointed and blurred by memory. recently, ive gone back to the beginning and read all the arcs from the first one to platinum. I'm eventually gonna read them all, but I am....... very distractable.

And I think it's probably. Kind of obvious. But one of my favourite arcs was Ruby Sapphire. I just,,,, i love them so much,,, , , ,, ,, I also really liked Gold Silver Crystal, I thought it did a really good job kind of..... showing the impact the antagonist's actions actually have on the world. It's incredible, I love it so much.

#roguewrites #pokespe #aaaa that was maybe too many words for those questions #okay but like seriously i REALLY love the gold silver crystal arc and how much more it makes you feel the impact of what pryce is doing #i might make a whole little rant about it later but like #ooh #its so good #i think ruby sapphire has my favourite characters and so #is probably my favourite to read #but gold silver crystal is definitely the one ive read so far that has my favourite writing #its fucking brilliant #yes <3 #okay now im really done talking i swear

[yagurlhere]

Was watching A Different Kind of Misty and I fricking hate it so far. Alissa fills me with rage. She tries to HURT some kids and despite their pleas she's all like "yOu GuYs ArE cRiMiNaLs!" because apparently two Fourth Graders and a First Grader (oh and another dude I guess) are criminals and Thatcher doesn't say sh*t until Team Rocket appears. You think that when Ash gives her the Light Stone she'd be like "Huh, strange" and start to realize something's off bug instead she says "wElL tHaT wAs EaSy" and only realizes she was wrong when Team Rocket appears and when Thatcher finally speaks up. Her apology sounded half-a*sed and the "eVeRyOnE mAkEs MiStAkEs 😇" from the Group makes me inner-rage. They have every right to be mad at her. Can she become the new hated Character of the Day along with Samurai? I'm comparing it to that dude with Golurk and friends with Meloetta from the BW anime. Yes, what he tried to do was even worse, but at least he actually sounded genuinley sorry. Got to the "aSh Is ThE hErO" part and I think Thatcher should do this, it'll make me feel better.

#Pokemon #AniPoke #Ruby and Sapphire #Alissa #Thatcher #Character of the Day #Ash Ketchum #May #Max #Samurai #Crappost #Rant #Fanart #Digital Art #ibisPaint X

[lovelyunknown]

AH AHAHAHAA THE BIKE HAS BEEN BBQED LOLZ

#side note: please filter the tag #pokeani #if you dont want to see my rants #pokemon ruby and sapphire

[probably-need-sleep27]

So I was trying to mod my 2ds two days ago but I fucked up and loss all my game data for Ocarina of time 3D, A link between worlds and pokemon alpha sapphire, all that progress is gone from ocarina of time and A Link between worlds now

#I'm annoyed #All that progress is gone because I fucked up #Nintendo #I spent hours redownloading all games I got on the eshop #i'm just ranting #I have 42 days to ocarina of time 3D and A Link between worlds before tears of the kingdom to comes out #I only started pokemon alpha sapphire so that wasn't big loss

[stargazer-sims]

I honestly do not know how I feel about finishing my main story. I want to be happy and proud of myself for actually finishing something, but mostly I think I just feel... deflated? Finishing it was anti-climactic and I didn't get the "Woo.. I'm done!" rush of self-congratulation that I kind of expected. I'm not sure why, but anyway...

I know a lot of people who follow me probably ignored this story because the text-to-picture ratio was really high (and there were no pictures at all for the last 13 parts), and that's totally okay because I was writing it for myself anyway. But the thing is, now I feel like I don't want to share any more of the writing that I'm doing for myself. And I don't mean that in an angry or self-pitying way either.

I've loved writing so much for the past couple of months, ever since I stopped trying to force it into being a "sims story" when it never actually was. Ironically, once I stopped trying to make it be sims-related content. I also stopped stressing about people not reading it. It's kind of amazing, the difference that being authentic and creating without constraints can make to one's attitude about their creative product.

This may not mean a lot to most people, but to me it's been a huge revelation. Forcing any aspect of creativity is bad. It can ruin your passion for things that you love. Forcing myself to connect my writing to The Sims was doing that to me. I hated every second of having to do screenshots and make everything somehow sims-related, and it was no longer fun, yet I couldn't seem to stop. It was like a compulsion, and I kept doing it even though it caused so many negative feelings.

And now that I'm less concerned about "making content" and more focused on writing the way I want to write, sharing it doesn't seem like it's that big a priority any more. I've started working on The Art of Redemption again, and if I do decide to keep posting it publicly, I might just move it and any future projects over to my writing side-blog (which I made a while back and never actually used).

So, huge THANK YOU to those of you who did actually read The World, According to Victor and Yuri. I appreciate each and every like and comment that I received on it. If you stuck with me through the entire thing, you deserve a gold medal. Thank you!

#sapphire notes #kind of a rant #but not really? #idek #writing