#same with lgbt allies

[knotsoangelic]

i/we didnt choose to be white or trans or male (even trans male) and we sure as hell didnt choose mental illness but point is that we didnt choose to be white and im sorry that my existence scares people who arent white but besides being understanding and compassionate to your experiences and life im not sure what else you want from us (good white people) i understand the struggle of finding good in the "other side" esp as a trans guy with a lot of cis friends and peers but please dont say "white ppl in general are 1000% the origin of the problem" i/we did not do anything to you guys :(

#knotsogood #its just #it hurts man #i didnt choose to be white and i strive every day to be good regardless of my qualities #white or otherwise #but sometimes that isnt enough for people #simply being is enough for them to be afraid. #and it can be quite upsetting honestly #if any of you disagree with me feel free to send a (polite) ask to start a debate #because trust me the LAST thing i am doing is invalidating POC experiences #i just think grace should be given to those that are good #same with lgbt allies #vent #racism #also when i say we i mean us as a collective lmao

[aloeverawrites]

If you want to learn math, no amount of good intentions and warm feelings alone is going to help you understand math.

If you want to learn science you can’t just sympathise with a biology textbook without reading it.

If you want to learn another language you can’t just smile at the text until you understand it.

So if you want to learn how to be an effective ally, you have to learn about the people you’re trying to help and the bigotry you’re trying to fight.

It’s a nice attempt but you can’t purely affection your way out of the bigoted teaching that the dominant culture taught you.

You’re going to have to do some studying.

#you know how well intended disability allies will say “your disability is so inspiring it’s good you don’t let it define you #or how white allies will say “wow you’re so arcticulate! black people can speak properly. #about aave #if you don’t unlearn the bigotry you’re just going to keep spreading it but with good intentions and in a nice way #which is sometimes more frustrating #so you have to learn #human rights #disability #anti racist #antisemitism #trans rights #lgbt rights #intersectional feminism #today I was reading a post and poitingoit to myself the antisemitic state said by someone with good intentions #and then I read a Jewish poster explaining how it was antisemitic #the guy had good intentions but you have to study. me and him were both taught the same things and we have to unlearn it #and I have a lot of unlearning to do #you don’t have to study in a way that’s difficult if you mostly read posts follow people in a minority group that educate about bigotry #and get more resources from them #google if you’re confused #you can do it

[weepingfireflies]

"I'm not calling you a bad person or a transphobe or an anti-trans bigot if you buy Hogwarts Legacy, but I will say - don't call yourself a trans ally while you do it. Because being an ally means being willing to give up something to actually stand with trans people. If you're not willing to fight alongside us or to give up something, then you're not really being an ally. You're just doing what you want anyways and just saying you listen to us when you're actively not."

- I'm Done With JK Rowling by Jessie Gender, 2:35:53

Radfems, terfs, transphobes, pro-patriatchy/sexists DNI

#this is your daily reminder that if you bought Hogwarts Legacy you're not an ally & dni with me #an ally is someone who helps and listens to minorities not someone who 'is supportive' #actually supporting us is not the same as just not hating us #lgbtqia+ #lgbt+ #transgender #trans #I've been watched a bunch of video essays lately and the ccs are a lot more forgiving* than I am tbh #*forgiving and [word for giving ppl the benefit of the doubt] #quotes #jk rowling #terfs dni #radfems dni #my posts #jessie gender #hogwarts legacy #anti hogwarts legacy

[peach-pot]

allo queer people are all in favor of found family and queer friendship until you do it in an aro way that goes against amatonormativity and then suddenly that makes no sense to them.

it’s cool to combat heteronormativity but only if you do it by slapping different gender roles & labels over the same societal structures. when you’re not participating in those societal structures at all, suddenly all the cool allies aren’t on board anymore.

#obligatory not all allo queer people / lgbt allies #but certainly enough of them to make me want to tear my hair out #it’s fine for you to live with your same gender partner but you won’t want to live with your friends forever #it’s fine not to want kids but you have to acknowledge what a big deal they are #you still have to talk about them like they’re an assumed part of life #you know what I mean? #I’ve been struggling to word this for like a half hour lol #hannah talks sometimes

[championrevali]

So all of my roommates are straight, but I've started confusing one of them by declaring things lgbt, like-

Me: I'll probably wear these shorts to pride cause they're super gay

Her: *confused staring at my shorts*

Or

Me: oh my god this is a nonbinary lesbian

Her: the... stuffed unicorn???

#come with me for a day in the life of the token gay #ive been training this same roommate to say “ally!” when i say “talk valentina!” #roommates #gay #lgbt #lgbtqia

[volfoss]

actually worst genre of essays/posts are guys we KNOW the author has been homo/transphobic in the past but if you reallyyyy look in the bg theres a couple LGBT charactesr so hes an ally <3 like you guys are INASNE...

#twist rambles #this is abt o/da and well. the insane posts where people r like omg <3 the author of (redactd) is basically a big ally for... skirting ever #single question abt any lgbt characters by being like ermmm up to the audience i wont confirm it except for characters who die. sorry im in #bad article hell right now. #like... their gender is up to audience perception is NOT the same as the character being nonbinary oh my godddd take ur head out of ur asss #and ppl do this so bad w o/p bc like... the transmisogyny is SO vile and people will still be like omg ^-^ od/a did soooo much here for rep #like he did NOT oh my god. sorry im angry posting at 5 am do u still love me

[theposhperyton]

All evidence suggests yes

#starting a new power scaling system for the warlords of the sea but im rating them based on whether i think theyre an ally or homophobic #kuma is an ally because photos dont lie and hes clearly wearing an ally pin #also you cant spend that much time around somebody with the title “Queen of the Queers” and somehow be homophobic afterwards #unless youre sanji but hes still on his internalized homophobia growth arc. i believe in you buddy you can beat this #crocodile is trans and baroque works is the alphabet mafia in a literal form #with that said. he has the energy of “im not homophobic yall are just annoying” #doffy has the energy of a homophobic homosexual #like hed kiss a guy and then call him a f*g and throw him out a nearby window #jimbei joins the strawhats so ofc HES an ally #blackbeard sucks but i dont think hes homophobic #hes one of those people you meet and theyre just the worst all around and youre like “man this guy has gotta be homophobic” #somebody mentions their partner and you go “oh boy here it is” but he just has no reaction whatsoever #hes such a problem but at least hes not homophobic on top of everything else #Gecko Moria is such a virgin that i dont think he knows being gay exists any more than he knows being straight does #Typa MFer who thinks “sex” is just a synonym for gender #also hed see your top scars and get excited because he thinks youre a zombie #gecko moria probably thinks LGBT is an acronym for some branch of the navy that he doesnt know (or care) about #Because Boa lives on Sapphic island i would jump the gun and immediately say she's an ally but i feel that its more complicated than that #not unlike moria. she also doesnt actually have a real strong grasp on being straight vs being queer #but thats just because shes used to everybody being whipped for her equally #somebody tries to explain it to her and shes just like “??? but theyre all obsessed with me?” #if she ever encounters a gay man it will be a reality shifting event for her #id say itd be the same if she met a sex/romance indifferent aroace but like #monkey d luffy #its already happened #mihawk is probably both an ally and queer himself but he just minds his own business so much that we may never know #one piece #seven warlords #warlords of the sea #bartholomew kuma

[madd-nix]

This Pride month, I've been feeling more Wrath than anything else. Let's all shut the queerphobes up and drown them in our anger - show them what a bunch of queers can do! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

#pride #pride 2023 #lgbt #queer #lgbtqia+ #i've been at the beach this week which is why i thought of a wave #and i've been stuck in the same house as my dad's queerphobic gf #she's the absolute worst in every way and she especially does not support trans or nonbinary people #she claims to 'support me' but that's just in me dating a girl #she views me as a girl doesn't use the right pronouns for me and constantly goes on about how she doesn't understand #various queer identities and so therefore they are wrong #she has literally told me that a lot of queer identities are mental illnesses and that is not an exaggeration #then she'll go on about how she has a single (1) lesbian friend so that makes her an ally #i wanna meet her lesbian friend and tell her all the horrible shit she's said #so yeah all the people here in this drawing are based off of her which is also why the woman character her black hair like her #and no my dad isn't much better he does not get my gender or pronouns right #but he at least knows to keep his mouth shut anout his backwards ass opinions #god i want to punt them into the sea #so yeah this was also sort of a vent piece #vent #vent art #my art

[jelliebeanbitch]

.

#vent time! #im afraid my aunt has outed me to my grandparents #because she started carelessly talking to me about gay stuff on the phone #having previously been in the same room as my grandparents . and idk if she was still with them or not when she said it #she was like ‘i think you’d be the perfect person to ask about lgbt stuff’ #and i panickedly asked her to take me off speaker and tried to ask if she’d said that in front of my grandparents #i explained that i didn’t want to come out to them #and she just never clarified if they’d heard??? #she just told me i should be myself #which makes me so fuckin mad she’s just a fake ally jesus christ #i’m just a little freaked out and feel like i need to assure my grandparents that i’m straight and act more femme around them and stuff #ik this could be worse and i’ll probably get away with it but uggggghhhh it just makes me mad that my aunt was so careless #anyway #that’s it #outing #outing tw #homophobia #biphobia #rambling

[bi-rising]

saw a post from someone about how using q//r is good or whatever bc “you should be banding together with your fellow freaks!” NO!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT TO BE A FREAK. HOW DO YOU NOT GET THAT. I WANT TO BE NORMAL. I WANT TO TELL PPL I LOVE MEN AND WOMEN AND HAVE NO ONE BAT AN EYE. I WANT MY LGBT FAMILY TO LIVE HOW THEY WANT TO AND FEEL SAFE!!! IM NOT A FREAK. THEYRE NOT FREAKS. BEING LABELED A “FREAK” IS EXACTLY WHY THERE ARE SO MANY SUICIDES AND SO MUCH VIOLENCE AGAINST LGBT PEOPLE. IDC IF YOURE “DEI” TRAINED OR WHATEVER, DONT FUCKING CALL US FREAKS!!!!

#q slur #I actually fucking feel sick #like if some trained person is gonna say they’re on my side and then call me a freak in the same breath #do you really think I’d feel safe around them??? #you can’t trust anyone who uses q//r to refer to the lgbt community!! #cause our fucking allies have also bought into calling us freaks!! #do you know how much this makes my skin crawl? #do u realize ur the type of person I’d never tell who I really am to??

[uncanny-tranny]

If you want a weird piece of advice on how to treat trans men and transmasc people you know... I think my piece of advice is to hold off on calling us things like "cute", "twink", or anything adjacent to these if it hasn't been made clear that a person is okay with being described in that way. I promise, it's better to ask than to assume we're all the same, because it genuinely sucks when people make the assumption without even caring.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #ally advice #it's actually one of the first red flags for me if somebody calls me something like a 'twink' without even considering how i feel... #...because in my personal experience it means that that person doesn't care about how i feel if it makes them slightly uncomfortable #and YES a trans man/transmasc person can use literally ANY language for themself #but that doesn't mean assuming we're all the same is good either #this also doesn't just apply to cis people because i have seen plenty of other trans people doing this (and also to me) and it feels 🙃🙃🙃 #like it just ruins the words for me and immediately puts me on-edge haha

[queen-thinky-thoughts]

.

People completely seriously calling a woman a "known homophobe", who accepted her partner of many years as gay when he came out in wildly homophobic times, remained close with him, supported him, and helped keep him company and look after him when he was dying while she had her own family with a small child... all because she was a bit bitter, possibly a bit shitty and not super accomodating to his lover and friends, who were not her friends, after his death?

Damn, dude, when did they change the definition of "homophobia"?

#listen this is my tiny side blog #i can rant here #and I will rant here #because it boils my blood #when words like these #are used so willy nilly #when literally violent actual homophobia #is to this day a pretty big issue #i cannot coherently explain how much it infuriates me #when people tar regular often well-intentioned #and flawed human beings #who try their best but get it wrong sometimes #with the same brush as hateful bigots #who wish real harm on the LGBT community #it's such a waste of time #pointless misdirected rage #that further alienates LGBT people from potential allies #also to quote a good post I saw #just because I'm not on board with your frothing hatred #doesn't mean I like the thing #anyway I'm tired of holding my tongue #like 10 ppl read this blog so idgaf

[colorisbyshe]

not to accidentally poke a settling wasps nest buuut i am amazed that my year old ace discourse post got almost 1k notes and besides like... one new comment and a couple of fence straddling tags about ~this is phrased kinda mean or ~aces are queer but this has a point or whatever...

i got no negative asks... minimal annoying reblogs... no ‘because of you we’re dying in the streets’ type whining...

it feels so good. i honestly kinda thank tiktok for bringing back the bulk of the discourse nad making people realize how fucking stupid a lot of ace discourse shit sounds when said aloud. truly helped shift the tides

did NOT want to do ace discourse again in 2023 but if it had to happen i’m glad it happened like this

#i know someone somewhere is thinking #'but at my defanged college lgbt club #that does literally nothign for lgbt people besides providing a space where we hang out twice month #lets in cishet aces' #but allies have always been taking up bandwidth in lgbt spaces/orgs #at least in the mainstream do nothing spaces/orgs lol #those groups EXIST to pander to allies and make them feel 'we're all teh same!!" #invoking them is NOT making the point you think you're making

[incorrect-2003-tmnt-quotes]

Not a quote, but I drew SAINW Michelangelo for Pride Month. Happy Pride Month to all the LGBTQ and the Allies. I hate that my markers bled and smeared, but oh well. It's the only markers I can afford.

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #sainw #tmnt sainw #same as it never was #teenage mutant ninja turtles #michelangelo #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #pride month #pride #ally #lgbt #lgbtq

[7-oh-ta1]

When people don't like A New Frontier but it's literally about a loser bisexual juggling his main priority to not repeat the toxic cycles from his childhood/young adult life while raising his niece & nephew AND being forced to face his own trauma with reopened wounds AND facing someone he's not sure he can ever forgive or even if he should forgive them (oh and it's the zombie apocalypse)

#lindsay speaks #twdg #uncle javi said you can come over and we can paint each other's nails if your mom says it's okay :) #i could go into heavy detail about how using context clues we can see that david suffered from parentification during he & javi's youth #which was even more common at the time of the season than it is today. despite having a loving father for all we know #we also know that david was responsible for javi quite frequently throughout their childhoods however he ''took care'' of javi #by dominating him in every aspect of his life -- making sure javi knew who was in charge and who had better follow orders #based on many things but in particular how he tells javi (once gabe has hidden behind javi) that he needs to ''teach'' gabe #just like he taught javi and clearly david is trying to intimidate gabe into submission in this scene. #and someday i WILL. I will go into heavy detail. #also the fact that david loathes playing baseball with javi because javi is good at it and david can't make him look incompetent at it #and that frustrates david to NO end #it makes so much sense -- the fact that davis just SWINGS at javi because he's ALWAYS done that and javi was raised to not defend himself #against david but THEN in the same breath david mocks him for his ''weakness''. every chance he gets he tears javi down especially in the #flashbacks. but he's javi's older brother. and he loves him. they love each other. david's a toxic fucking bitch that javi gotta the hell #away from as soon as he could and NEVER looked back until he hit rock bottom and had to go home. but he's still the brother that raised him #the fact that javi is lgbt also adds significant nuisance to this situation because. david is anything but an ally. #at first all javi cares about is taking care of himself... but then he is thrust into parenthood with gabe & mari. #for FOUR YEARS. and we get to watch as david reasserts himself back into the father role and doesn't even acknowledge all the shit #javi's been through. because he's lousy fuck up javi. but he's different now because he has a steak in this. he's not going to let david #raise gabe the same fucked up away david raised him. because gabe loves his uncle too. #gabe's safety is the one topic that javi refuses to buckle on with david and it shows that javi truly has changed from the young boy #who couldn't defend himself. #ignore my typos

[butchdataset]

the reason that a lot of queer folks lean towards distrusting cisallohet people, even without an individual reason, is that the reality is that cisallohet people do not inherently benefit from us gaining rights. as a result, the baseline for cisallohet people is to not care- whether that be about our struggles, our identities, or our experiences.

we, as queer people, always have to meet cisallohet people where they're at. a good chunk of our lives are spent trying (desperately) to meet the expectations that society has- to look, behave, and act a certain way- and when we fit outside of that, we are meant to feel like outsiders. we are forced into a cisallohet-centric society, and as a direct extension, we're forced to be able to meet cisallohet people where they're at. cisallohet people do not have that experience. we have to be the ones to explain our identities, our experiences, our oppression to them. when cisallohet people are confused or scared or made angry by us that still falls back on us. no matter what.

it is so much easier to look at another person and know that you're not going to have to explain to them your reality- they'll already know because it's their reality too and they do have reason to care about the suffering and joy of fellow queers. to know you won't have to explain your identity and instead can bond over a shared sense of self. I just know right away that with another queer we're going to be able to meet each other where we're at instead of the dynamic skewing heavily towards them.

this is why I skew towards distrusting cisallohet people and trusting queer people; I want my queer experience to be much more about celebrating myself than informing others. I'd rather not be at constant risk that my identity is going to be challenged or questioned.

#also obv not all cisallohet and queer ppl are the same and blah blah blah #but disproportionately cisallohet ppl tend to be less informed about queer identities (unsurprisingly) #like there are gonna be some queer ppl who are uninformed and shitty but I've met WAY less than cisallohet ppl who are #btw on some off chance some cisallohets are reading this and want to know how to be better allies #just do research into queer terminology- what it means how to use it etc #trust me there is such a world of difference in the level of trust I feel when a cisallohet person recognises the terms I'm using #versus when they have no idea where I'll usually just stop talking to them about my identity altogether #also idk if this is discourse technically ?? but imma tag it as such either way to be safe #anyways onto tags #lgbt discourse #queer discourse #trans #gay #nonbinary #lgbt #queer #queer community #lgbt community