#same for pans and bis

[homosexualslug]

if I had a nickel for every time seth green played the nice boyfriend of the bookish, nerdy girl who fights supernatural beings with her group of friends (called the scooby gang) led by her pretty but badass best friend (played by sarah michelle gellar) before she eventually came out as a lesbian, I'd have two nickels.

#it's just SO funny #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #scooby doo #trick or treat scooby doo #scooby doo 2022 #velma #velma scooby doo #lesbian velma #willow rosenberg #seth green #willow and oz #willow x tara #fun fact almost all of the girls in this nerdy student org I was in in college crushed on the same nerdy nice red haired guy too #and most of them were bi/pan/ace or came out as lesbian later on #what an enigma #velma dinkley

[the-meme-monarch]

added a new point to my pinned bc these rude asses keep following me which shows me no one reads people's carrds. not even mine with my funny business man joke. anyway mspec people are literally just normal and you giving them shit for having a Slightly More Complex Experience Than Yours is stupid as hell. imo.

#ive asked several times now to be given a good reason these people supposedly are bad. no ones given me one. so #i think yall need to go outside. just to your front lawn/backyard or a park or smth. the self isolation made people start drama for fun #words from the monarch #same with the bi/pan infighting that was big a while back. neither are transphobic they were Just making shit up to get mad about

[dribs-and-drabbles]

What is the thing from your past (behaviour, thought, etc), after having had your sexuality Oh moment, that you look back on and go 'oh yeah, I should have known' 🤦🏽‍♀️?

#for me it was that I always disliked kissing men with stubble #I did not like that prickly feeling on my lips/mouth #preferring my partner to be clean shaven #and thinking how it must feel softer and smoother to kiss a woman #but that 'I wasn't attracted to women' therefore I didn't try to kiss a woman to see what it was like #because ew #but then I realised that I felt this same kind of 'ew-ness' about being with a generic 'woman' #as I did when I thought about being with a generic 'man' #and vice versa #and so therefore I realised I was probably bi/pan and most likely on the ace spectrum #-> as in not very attracted to either gender #but I could be if I met the right person #and also kissing women might be preferable to kissing men #(this post is brought to you by the recent developments in the 911 universe #and by my current desire to be able to kiss a woman to see what it would be like) #insert: ink saying it's so gainful #what were the signs™ for you? #also... #happy ace awareness day

[weedle-testaburger]

i will always maintain the worst phase of this site is when ‘’‘ace discourse’’‘ was a thing. even before i realised i was queer when i heard about asexuality i was like ‘ok that makes sense as a valid queer thing like gay or trans’, and yet some people got so pathetically angry about it, refusing to acknowledge aspec people are lgbtq despite the prejudice they face (up to and including sexual violence), trying to accuse aspecs of being paedophiles for saying it’s ok for teens to not want sex (which is a take i will always find insane), accusing them of just being prudes and turning ‘aphobe’ into a joke insult. fuck all those losers who did that so hard

#personal crap #lgbtq #aspec #asexuality #tw aphobia #anyway aspec people are valid af and ilysm #also considering i've had a fair bit of 'iT's JuSt ThE sAmE aS bI' shit from people as a pan person i feel your pain

[jasontoddssuper]

Most Jason Todd simps be like 'I don't read comics i just think Jason's hot' and i'm like 'Yeah we can tell'

#not saying it's bad to simp for jt my url is about me selfshipping with him but like.you guys make him way too much of a typical man #he's canonically a complete freak and not in an 'in the sheets' kinda way i mean he's severely traumatized and heavily autistic-coded #and as someone who is also that both in the same way as him yet somehow also in the opposite direction that's the whole reason he pulled me #fanon jason is just like.........a man(derkgatory).he's completely appealless to me he just exists to be a h*rny bad boy who's sad deep down #if fanon jason simps read his comics they'd hurl.their fics and incorrect quotes make me do the same so it would be justice #jason todd #pro jason todd #black jason todd #latino jason todd #afrolatino jason todd #+ bi pan and aspec + trans and agender + autistic/adhd/mdd too #batfam #ditf #lost days #utrh #rhato #teen titans:damian edition #dead sidekicks force #batman:urban legends #gotham war #wfa #lego batman/superman:family matters #team dual #the anomalies #tiny titans #lego dc super villains #jaysumm #real self shipping hours #letters from summer #*derogatory

[atlasdoe]

so when y'all say you hc certain characters as lesbians are you lying or do you only hc them as a lesbian while they're with women???

#why am i seeing the same people who hc marlene and dorcas as lesbians also ship them with men #like just hc them as bi or pan or something #idk if just grosses me out #like is it only for the asethetic?? #the marauders #harry potter #marauders #dorlene #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes

[sparkyskid]

Gale Dekarios The Wizard of Waterdeep ace-spec propaganda

Spoilers for Gale’s romance below the cut

I, an Aroace, have finished BG3 having romanced Gale and taken the route to “fix him” (I.e. encourage him that he is enough as he is and doesn’t need godly power, that his value does not depend on his power or talents or usefulness to others.)

Yes you make out a little in his romance scenes. Yes he says that he has been intimate with mortals before Mystra, and was Mystra’s lover.

BUT.

It is never stated that you have sex with him.

At most, it is implied that you are physically intimate in some way, primarily the post-game where he asks you to marry him, you wake up together and you can beckon him to come back to bed.

Even then, even when it is implied, Gale’s romance is entirely chaste. For a game so horny, a game so ready to let you fuck so many people, a game that gives you power to make your party hang out at camp in their underwear or even naked…

Astarion and Shadowheart definitely have topless/nude scenes. Karlach and La’zell express sexual attraction. Wyll is entirely unknown to me. But Gale, despite being very upfront about his feelings in some key moments, does not have a nude or partially nude cutscene. A game that loves showing or describing the sex you have with NPCs, and Gale has none of it.

Furthermore, the moment that stands out the most as possibly showing sexual attraction, in Act 2 when he comments about reading a book that links the rush of battle with desires for other “stimulation”. He is having such thoughts, but even as he says he wants Tav, it seems to be about pleasure and stimulation more than flat out sexual attraction.

As we all know, willingness to engage in sex and the experience of sexual attraction are different. Gale expresses a very ace or demi sort of relationship with sex- for him, it’s about pleasurable stimulation with a beloved person.

Take this in contrast with Halsin. In my game, Halsin came onto my Tav in the last night before the final battle. He spoke of natural desires, of wanting skin on skin etc. similar to how La’zell expresses a desire for Tav’s body in Act 1 or Karlach “ride you till you see stars”. Halsin, La’zell, and Karlach, all clearly express sexual attraction. Astarion is, well, Astarion. I don’t know Wyll very well, but his first romance scene is a dance and he gets such puppy eyes when you reject him. There is none of these things in Gale’s route.

One last thing, the compliments Gale gives. Yes, this is a difficult thing to write because the appearance of Tav can vary wildly. But his compliments are centered around aesthetic attraction, not physical. “Beautiful” is one of his most common ones. Non-specific, wholistic, and aesthetic. It would be hard to write anything more specific with the Tav’s appearance being so variable. But the other NPCs still have doubtless sexual attraction.

So Gale is a romantic, so what? He could also be a “wait until marriage type”? False. He has not been married, but (at least implies that) he has had sex before.

But it could just be that his route is supposed to be the most romantic, and not all of the NPCs need to have equal levels of horny? Yes. Not all of the NPCs should be the same amount of horny. And the least horny, if they are this different, will always come across as ace-spec or aro-spec, if only by comparison (as it is in the real world).

Consider another detail as well: how the people closest to him are expected to react to him finding a relationship.

Both his BFF Tara and his mother apparently want him to get in a relationship. Tara is obvious, Gale speaks of Tara encouraging him to have more mortal friends after his relationship with Mystra ends. And Tara does at one point comment on Gale finding a mortal partner in-game. Later when Gale asks Tav to marry him, if you accept, he remarks how his mother will also be very pleased to hear the news.

This is a theme in his life. People pressuring him to find a relationship. This is also a very commonly shared experience for a-spec people of all kinds. Pressure from others to find someone. (The most toxic variation being “you haven’t met the right person yet”)

My own mother would be overjoyed if she heard I found someone to get married to, even though she knows I don’t want that. Sure, many parents are this way about their allo children as well, but that’s hardly talked about. Parents of a-spec people, whose children “finally get married” or “finally find someone” are specially invested in the outcome. Of course anyone’s supportive parent would be happy if their child got married to somebody they loved. But it’s noteworthy here, for some reason. As if his mother has, in the past, also given him some grief about it in a way that Tara does as well. If she hadn’t, why mention her at all?

Gale being pressured by those closest to him to get a relationship is thematically similar to the way ace-spec (and aro-spec) people get pressured by those closest to them. And the relationship he crafts is one based not on physical attraction, but on aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction. Gale shares physical forms of affection with his partners for the pleasurable stimulation of it. He does not exhibit the same lust or sexual attraction that the rest of the romanceable/fuckable NPCs do. All this to say that Gale is consistently sex-favorable, but does not experience sexual attraction in the same (allo) way that everyone else does. Therefore, he falls on the ace spectrum. Most likely ace or demi.

#bg3 #gale of waterdeep #bg3 spoilers #asexual #tldr: Gale is ace or demi and you can’t change my mind #he’s the kind of person who thought he was bi/pan as a kid #and maybe still thinks so #because no attraction to genders = same attraction to genders #but he is SO ace-spec

[genderfuckyou]

Hiii. If you are bi and openly use lesbian to describe yourself bc it feels right sometimes,,,I’m so sorry for all the shit you have to put up with. You deserve 200 million dollars

#genuinely #idk what the problem is #a lot of ppl come out and say ‘ don’t use that word it will confuse the cishets and make them think we’re the same!!! #my sister in gay #that sounds like a them problem #bottom line is : if someone identifies a certain way and you shun them out of bad faith you’re no better than a homophobe #just thinking out loud #pan lesbians #bi lesbians #he him lesbians

[zels-echoes]

Being an aro/ace and having people tell me characters who come off as strongly aro/ace are just being in denial of their feelings makes me want to punch a hole in a wall. That and people saying or implying character can’t possibly be asexual because they’re too hot/sexy for that.

If a character was in denial of their feelings for someone then I think a writer or artist would blatantly convey that for the reader or viewer to pick up on.

I have an aro/ace character of my own who is exactly like that. A character who has strong feelings for one person, but fears too much to be in love with them because she believes too much that they’ll reject her because of who she is and it eats at her constantly. So instead she tries to keep them pushed away because she feels they deserve better. You would see it in her face, you would see it in her behavior and brought up multiple times even if it’s in her own mind. You would KNOW that her heart was aching over it yet refusing to give in to her feelings. That is denial of feelings and still being aro/ace! What a concept!

Not a character clearly displaying no feelings at all if not showing that they’re extremely uncomfortable and outright shutting down any advances towards them, never to be brought up again. That’s an aro/ace genuinely not giving a single fuck.

#I hate shipping fandom so damn much man #the amount of aro and ace hate and erasure I find is disgusting #people go bonkers for gay/bi/pan shit #but the second a character is ace people will do mental gymnastics to deny it #but if that ace character falls in love especially if it’s same sex then it’s more about the gay and nothing about the ace #let’s be real no one gives a fuck about our side of the spectrum except the people who are in it

[neck-thats-made-for-bruising]

So I have realized of my best friends (?) is like,, kinda mean and I feel so uncomfortable

shes saying things like 'eww the pimples in his hairline are sooo gross he probably doesn't even wash his face' and I've learned that if people are making fun of someone but I don't want to say it's mean, I just say something about myself so I said 'oh yeah I have lots of pimples in my hairline cause my hair is really oily' and she said well yeah but that's different

and then today our class smelled like fish (it's also a cooking class) and she started saying it was one of the girls and I felt really bad and then another girl said it's proably you (to my friend) and she got upset but I mean she was doing it to someone else so

asdfkjshda teenagers are really fucking mean

#Oh and also she was asking if a kid was gay #and I said yeah he's pan #my other friend said he's bi at the same time #and then my friend was saying what's the difference? Why are there so many categories? Gay lesbian bi pan There's so many #I mean those are just really simple lables #but anyway I kinda explained bi vs pan #and then she just started saying why can't people just be what they were born as #... #I don't know if she meant trans people because that's not what we were talking about #but she knows I'm bi and our friend is gay so #idk man

[blondedonaldduck]

Seeing the Drakepad kiss scene for the first time is a canon event for everyone who watches DWD I think

#i know launchpad is bi or pan in dt17 but in dwd he specifically gives me gay vibes #i cannot figure out why #also to me the same goes for drake but in reverse #bi vibes in dwd but VERY gay in dt17 #and for those who don’t watch dwd i am not kidding they did kiss #twice actually although one was accidental and the other was just implied

[antaripirate]

bro took “how do you know when The Sarows is coming?” to a whole new level

(this is how you know that The Sarows is coming)

(is coming, is coming, is coming aboard)

#they both fucking WON here #i am not sorry about this #also can we talk about ‘like magic’ #and ‘sublime’ #kell fucking maresh everybody #also to me this is further evidence kell is bi/pan and not straight #in my experience straight men just don’t have the same ability’s when it comes to making a woman come so easily #i said what i said #anyway #THREE FUCKING DAYS #i’m sorry i am so tired feel free to ignore this post and these tags #peace out #adsom #a darker shade of magic #a conjuring of light #a gathering of shadows #kell maresh #shades of magic #v e schwab #lila bard #delilah bard #kellila

[elfcollector]

bi women can be masculine and prefer topping and still be bi! bi men can be flamboyant and still be bi! sexuality is not entirely dependent on how many gay stereotypes you fit, thought we'd got this sorted in 2010 but what the fuck do i know!

#sorry ive been heated abt this for weeks and now that ive seen other ppl talking abt it my feelings are comin out #its so fucking deranged to decide that the only women who are allowed to be masculine must be lesbians #and the only men allowed to be theatre kids must be gay #when like! if u actually SPOKE TO QUEER PEOPLE OFFLINE there are so many masc bi women out there! #there are so many flamboyant bi guys! #im using bi as an umbrella term because i think i read somewhere that astarion is canonically pan which is sooo sexy of him #but like. it's insane. it's insane to decide that a character who IS EXPLICITLY ATTRACTED TO MULTIPLE GENDERS. is actually gay #and if u say otherwise then ur a big mean violent homophobe #and of course if u did the opposite; took a character who is canonically attracted only to their 'same' gender and called them bi #EVEN AS A JOKE! #you would be murdered on the spot #but of course taking the characters who are canonically attracted to multiple genders and deciding that bi ppl no longer exist #because ah-hum this male character fits too many gay stereotypes! #is supposed to be fine

[onlyfangz]

is there a difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? not really tbh. this has not once ever been a real problem, however, and if it bothers you that much, you may need to seek help.

#charlie.txt #i cannot believe we r still doing this stupid fucking discourse in 2024. #transgender people are being legislated out of uk society but bethany is annoyed amy doesnt use her BETTER words for her identity #so everyone shut up and listen ig. #(clarification: the way some bi vs pan ppl will define their sexuality can be different but at the end of the day its basically the same) #(this doesnt make one identity worse or better) #(bc its not a real problem) #source: i am bisexual.

[rockman-x]

idk what X is exactly. to me he's just some flavor of queer

#like he could be cis or het or allo but theres something going on with him at the same time #atm i headcanon him as pan/bi but i see any queer hcs for him and go ''yeah that makes sense. so cool!''

[boydykedevo]

ID: A tumblr post with the bi flag covering the username, and the pan flag covering the text that’s been blacked out. The result reads:

There is a difference between pansexuality and bisexuality, pansexuality is a distinct sexuality. The distinction matters.

——

Some bi-pan solidarity for y’all @fixing-bad-posts

#made this a while ago but forgot to post lmao whoops #for the record I consider myself mspec but with no specific mspec label cus shit is CONFUSING #my attraction is fuckin weird man. it’s queer and that’s it. #so like. I’m both bi and pan at the same time as I am neither. #bi pan solidarity #pansexual positivity #pride #fixing bad posts #icarus is talking