#running on mental fumes

[manchasama]

So the other thing I was thinking about as I was rolling sushi was a Your Name spin on the Arceus situation.  Ingo and Emmet swapping bodies didn’t jive with me for the Your Name setting, but I couldn’t think of anything better.  Until!  I had a thought of Emmet and Akari swapping bodies, minus the romance.

So you have this swap start happening shortly after Akari arrives in Hisui.  In this AU, she really is brand new to the world and doesn’t know anything about Pokemon.  Still, she does have a knack for dealing with pokemon, and managed joined the survey corps.  Knack or not though, she’s still inexperienced.  Actual field work?  Difficult.

Maybe it’s less that she doesn’t know, and more that she is too afraid?  Not quite sure how to characterize it yet, maybe it will come to me as I write it out.

So the first time the swap happens, it’s as chaotic as you’d imagine.  Akari is shocked and horrified to be in a guy’s body, in a strange place, with all these strange pokemon around.  People are telling her she’s supposed to be at a job, and she has no idea how to run a train!  Or how to run a station!  The Depot agents are confused at how oddly their boss is acting, but just chalk it up to an weird mood and work around “him”. 

She is stressed out and running around like a mad woman, but the shining moment is when she’s put on the doubles train and gets to battle.  Sure, they’re not her pokemon, and they don’t sync that well, but at least she knows how to do this much!  Probably loses more than she wins (they are well trained enough to be able to fight somewhat on their own), but she is much more comfortable with this duty than anything else.

(Some of Emmet and Ingo’s pokemon probably realize that this is not Emmet, but part of the charm of Your Name is that no one cottons on.  Even if they do, they can tell when they battle with her that her intentions aren’t bad.)

Meanwhile Emmet is having a Time Of It.  He has no idea why he woke up in this extremely rural town, full off suspicious people, in the wrong body, without a single pokemon trainer in sight.  But people tell him what he’s supposed to be doing, and lacking literally anything else to go on, he heads out to do as tasked.  Starts researching the local pokemon, training his(??) team, etc.  These things at least are familiar and comforting, even if they are not his.  He’s probably the one who thinks this is a dream for most of the first swap.

They swap back, those around them express their confusion at how oddly they acted, but nothing comes of it.  Then the next swap happens, and they start to cotton on what is going on.

Cue rising irritation as Emmet tries to order Akari to not ruin his reputation you can’t go to work in sweatpants and a t-shirt!!  While Akari argues back that she doesn’t want to look at his gross old man body any more than she has to!  (“I am not old!!”  “Your hair is white!” “It’s natural!”  “Whatever you say old man.”).  Really this is an excuse for Akari to not look in mirrors, other than that first swap.  (Originally thought she’d meet Ingo but not recognize him.  Sorta dropped that but leaving this here anyway.)  She does NOT like being in another body.  Emmet cares less, it’s just a body he’s using until he can get back to his own.

Also cue Emmet trying to teach this accident prone girl how to deal with wild feral pokemon, because she has zero sense of self preservation otherwise.  Honestly, this would be more of an Emmet mentoring Akari through copious notes, while she tries to meddle in his life a bit.

I did have a thought she tries to hook him up with Elesa, with disastrous (for her) results.  She honestly likes Elesa, loves hanging out with her, but it’s soured a bit by having to pretend to be Emmet.  Elesa isn’t actually fooled, also Emmet had confided in her what was going on, so she’s happy enough to allow the ruse. But then Akari tries to “hit” on Elesa for Emmet, to set up a date, and Elesa just.  She just laughs, covering her face.  She can’t do it any more.

“If you want to pretend to be Emmet, at least try not to hit on family members, hm?”

Akari’s horror at being caught out is only surpassed by her horror that she was hitting on Emmet’s sister.  It doesn’t really help to find out it’s not a blood relationship either lol.  The fact that he is aro/ace probably comes up too.   Emmet writes a verrrrrrry long rant at her for that stunt, and forbids her from ever doing anything with his love life ever again.  It’s the one rule of his that Akari follows without protest.

Still, as the plot of Arceus unfolds, Akari is forced to confront the frenzied nobles.  Emmet is aware of the problem, but he isn’t around when she is set to fight them, and only knows the before and aftermath.  It worries him, and he realizes there’s something big going on here.  He guides her as best he can, leaving her tips and tricks and knowledge she wouldn't have otherwise, smoothing the way for her.

One day, Akari swaps with Emmet, and is surprised when a very somber looking Elesa comes to his apartment.  As soon as she realizes it’s not Emmet, Elesa looks even worse.  She wishes Akari hadn’t swapped on this day, of all others.  When Akari asks why, Elesa explains it’s the anniversary of Emmet’s brother’s disappearance.  She always keeps him company, and now he has to deal with it alone, somewhere else. 

Akari feels bad, but she hadn’t realized that Emmet even had a brother.  (He has perhaps taken down the photos, maybe even the mirrors, to stop reminding himself.)  She asks a bit about it, and Elesa tells her about the Subway Masters, how close they were, how long it’s been.  How much they all miss Ingo.

Emmet wakes up one morning as Akari, the heavy feeling in his chest no different than it would have been if he'd been in his own body.  This at least was a distraction.  He wouldn't have to face the sympathetic words and grief of others.  Here he can just focus on pokemon, on cataloging them, on training them, on the next steps Akari needs to overcome.  He steps outside Akari's house, ready to head into the wilderness.  Only to be greeted by the sight of his lost brother, who bids “her” a good morning.  Before he can do more than mouth Ingo’s name, he's jerking forward in his own body, gasping for breaths that will not come.

Hands are supporting him, a voice is in his ears, but he can't understand anything over the roaring in his head.  That had been Ingo, it had.  It had!  He was there, in that strange land!

He become aware of Elesa's voice, trying to walk him through breathing exercises as if he's having a panic attack.  He probably is.  But this news was too important!  

He does manage to get across to her that a) he is Emmet and b) he saw Ingo.  Once the elation winds down, they are so so hopeful that the next time Emmet and Akari swap, Emmet will be able to talk to his brother.  That they can find out what happened, why he hasn't tries to contact them, if he's okay.  They wait.

And wait.

But Emmet never swaps with Akari again.

It's devastating.  Something that had been happening fairly regularly just stopped as abruptly as it started.  That wouldn't stop them, however.  Together they put their heads together to research what they can cobble together from Emmets shameful lack of details.  He hadn't bothered trying to find out more about where Akari was.  It hadn't mattered at the time.  Now all they had was a few key names, and Emmet's knowledge of the geography of the area.

They do eventually narrow it down to Sinnoh, but they still don't quite realize that it's the past.  Perhaps it was poorly recorded, or perhaps Emmet never bothered to learn the name of the land.  Emmet sets out immediately for the area, trying to find anything familiar.  (He does, but it's wrong.  There's too many people, too many buildings.  Even if the geography sparks memories, he can't believe it's the same place.  So he keeps looking.)

I think eventually they run across proof that Hisui is the past, and maybe even that Ingo was there, or even died there.  (In Your Name, the past was changed, so why not!)  It's devastating all over again.

On Akari's side, she is abruptly back in her own body, staring at the retreating back of a man with a mildly familiar coat.  It probably takes to the second meeting for her to put the pieces together that this is Ingo.  Maybe she thinks it's an ancestor at first, until he starts talking about the man in white etc.  Either way, she decides to do one selfless thing for Emmet, who's helped her so much up until now, and help jog Ingo's memory. 

He is surprised by her news of course.  The body swap thing is odd, but not the strangest thing to come across.  He is more interested in her stories about Emmet, about life in Nimbasa, in all the people she met over there.  They spark recognition, memories bubbling to the surface, only to submerge again shortly after.  It helps, but he still can't really remember.  It's fine, she assures him.  The next time she swaps with Emmet, they can talk face to face.  Well, sort of.

Only she never swaps.  She's forced to confront Electrode on her own, and she hadn't quite realized just how much of an edge Emmet's guidance had been giving her.  She manages it, but is shaken (and probably injured).  It's a blow to her confidence.  Ingo steps up and takes on the role to guide and help her, which she appreciates.  It buoys her through quelling the rest of the nobles.  He's there for her when she is banished, taking a more hands on approach than in canon.  Still, part of her believes she can't manage this on her own.  She needs their help, she needs the red chain, the origin ball, all these crutches are the reason why she won, not her.

The climax would take place around the fight with Volo.  As things stand, Akari would die against Volo, and Ingo as well (he would be there because of his closer involvement with mentoring Akari).  Akari doesn't believe in herself, and that lack of confidence is what allows Volo to get the killing blow.

On the other side, Emmet and Elesa have unearthed some old tradition or fairy tale, about meeting your loved ones at the Temple of Sinnoh.  

I've lost a bit of what I was thinking at this point, so the ending will have to be filled in later.  What i did have was a scene of them at the temple at that twilight moment.  Where Emmet and Ingo get to see each other, where Ingo remembers.  Where Emmet and Akari get to meet properly.  What they discuss, what happens?  Unknown.  But as the twilight moment ends, as the memories burn so bright they could never be lost, Akari has a duty to fulfill.  Ingo is full of a deep happiness, how could he ever have forgotten—

Forgotten…

The memories are slipping away again, as if in a dream.  Even Akari can't remember, as she rushes to confront Volo, exactly who she's doing this for.  On the other side, Emmet is baffled as to why he's in Sinnoh of all places.  What was he doing there?

The full conclusion is Akari and Ingo fight tooth and nail to get back, probably by Arceus' grace and all.  Also the memories return when they reunite for real, because that was one thing I think was sad about Your Name.  They should have gotten those precious memories back.

Anywho I'm tired and also I've lost the thread of this idea.  I will just…put it here for now lol.

#fun times ahead #pokemon #submas #pokemon writing #a take on the your name genre lol #i have forgotten how to tag anything #petered off a the end apologies but #running on mental fumes #maybe i will come back to this #and try to flesh it out a bit more #i need to do things that occupy my hands and let my mind wander #to come up with ideas and scenes #hilariously what sparked it was another song that just reminded me of a song from Your Name #go figure #there are a few different ways this could go so maybe ill change things up #we shall see where the daydreaming gets us

[coockie8]

I don't wanna come across as ableist in anyway, but anti's delusions genuinely are not my problem. No one's delusions are anyone's problem but the person having them.

Your inability to adequately make a distinction between fiction and reality is no one's issue to deal with but yours. It is downright unhinged, and wildly unrealistic to expect the entire world to cater to your delusions. You have to cope with them; no one can do that for you, and it's blatantly entitled to expect people, strangers, to change what they create or engage in to make you, a stranger, feel comfortable.

I'm a deeply paranoid individual, with an insanely irrational fear of someone living inside my walls (y'all can try sending my asks or DMs that say "I'm inside your walls" to trigger me, but I promise it won't work. I have inside-my-walls access, and check regularly, so good luck with that👍), but that doesn't mean I expect every horror writer/director in existence to never use that trope because some random fucking stranger might be uncomfortable, or even triggered by that.

I don't expect other people to cater to my delusions, because they are my delusions. They're my problem to deal with. I've got my triggers and issues too, but you don't see me going out of my way to call complete strangers predators and tell them they deserve to die over enjoying fiction that triggers me. I behave like a mature human being, and I block tags/people.

If you have trouble differentiating between fiction and reality, or you're the type to base their entire moral code off what you see in fiction, like a 5-year-old, then, in complete seriousness, don't engage with morally grey media. Or, at the very least, don't do so without supervision, and, genuinely, you should probably seek some kind of psychiatric assistance.

"Morally grey media" includes, by the way, all horror, most romances, a good chunk of comedies, and pretty well literally any piece of media that was made for someone over the age of 10. Human beings have been creating fucked up fiction since the dawn of language, and I highly doubt that's going to change any time soon because a bunch of chronically-online puritans refuse tell the difference between a cartoon and a person.

#if I'm coming across as ableist in any way #I deeply apologise #but I'm also mentally ill #I'm paranoid #I've had delusions #and I've *never* expected *anyone* to change what they do or like to cater to *my* issues #anti bs #just anti things #proship #tw: paranoia #trash king vents #I'm running on fumes when it comes to patience #it's financial stress #we won't get into it #I just needed to vent

[hexiquin]

Sano & Haru:Reluctant Respect

HELLO FELLOW YOHAJI LOSERS - I MEAN LOVERS!!! (I say this affectionately)

I said I was gonna make a whole thing about Haru and Sano's relationship and now i have...made a part 1 that is (i am slowly going insane i swear to-)

Anyway~ Here is my "short" deep dive/retrospective into my favorite (platonic or romantic) relationship in the manga (Chapters 1-30)

☆Chapter 1 ｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

Sano is shown throughout this chapter to be reluctantly getting involved with Haru. He is trying, and succeeding, to come off as a generally cool and chill guy, for the most part. He doesn't snap at Haru as fast as he will in just a couple of chapters later, but he does lash out when he is at his breaking point.

He is also the first one to know Haru's secret, making his relationship with Haru much different than every other character in the manga (he is his student but also his confidant. The only person that can help him keep his powers a secret while teaching. And, to get a bit ahead of myself, also the one who probably has the closest relationship with him for a while).

For Haru's part, he really is just grasping at anyone willing to be around him. With what his high school experience was like, with Ame and his fears, that he hasn't had anyone outside his family that treated him 'safe' way. Even the other teachers are weary of him for the most part.

Haru's optimistic outlook is only strengthened because Sano's, though it's not at it's most potent version, kindness towards our wet paper towel man.

☆Chapter 9｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ

Up till this point Sano still seen Haru as a nuisance and a new chew toy, but this is is the first time he really has taken the steps to show his tsundere side. Sure, he feels like after his short but still vulnerable moment with Haru he is in debt with him. BUT , he still goes out of his way to talk up Haru to Ame! Haru isn't around and he still goes out of his way to show that he has a soft spot for Haru. Still very tsundere but still.

☆Chapter 16｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ

The notable event in their relationship! After Sano saves Haru from being crushed only to be crushed himself, It kinda feels like a side of haru is shown (at least when I was reading). This chapter, this arc, really shows that haru cares about his students, about Sano. Not even batting an eye he gets Sano to a doctor as fast as he can, not caring about anything around him.

And When Haru replaces Sano and he hits a road block, Sano doesn't use his anti-youkai powers in the race. He understands Haru. He knows Haru wouldn't want that, want this to be when the class finds out about his powers. So he uses something else that has proven, even when he first saw him in the FIRST chapter, to work and uses sailor uniforms to motivate him.

(And since I won't be getting into this all that much in the future parts so I'll say it here. Sano has this dynamic with Haru that is really interesting to me. Their relationship gives off the vibes of equals. Though they may be student and teacher, human and supernatural being, they get paired off with each other a lot. And while every other student has at least a bit respect for the hierarchy, Sano doesn't really with haru in my opinion. )

☆Chapter 26｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ

THIS FLASHBACK CHAPTER!!!

Haru's relationship with mii-kun is so cute and sweet. The way this teenager tries to comfort and get on this '"child's" level. How he is the first to go after his plush mametarou (mame...ok sure). How he plays along with Sano saying they split it three ways (I feel like most would tell the kid that they can't really do that).

How even if he might be a distant memory for Sano, as far as we know, Haru still lives deep in his heart!

☆Chapter 30｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ

(This picture is just shipping bate, why have a whole panel of them holding hands while sano says "caught you" like if this was a heterosexual couple this would definitely come off as romantic-)

Obviously, I dont think Haru giving hints was only for Sano, but the fact that Sano is the one to figure it out just reiterates how much sano understands how haru works! How haru trust his students, Sano, and how he really wants to see all of them succeed.

Now for the most important part, Sano's smile. Let me tell you that this IS the real turning point of their relationship. This is the first real happy baby boy smile Sano gives Haru that isn't sadistic. And even though he goes all tsundere and says it was an illusion, doesn't mean that this didn't happen!!!

Continued in part 2

#Write about my favorite characters >>>>>>> stew in my college anxiety #This literally took me around 2 days to write and edit this #the mental illness is winning and has decided to be a silly little guy by making my obsessed with making this #my brain is currently running of exhaust fumes and mental illness #hexi posting #yohaji #a terrified teacher at ghoul school #youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita #character relationship analysis #Sorry for any typos

[lydiaortega1996]

#burnt out #to the full extent #deep feelings #exhausted #mentally exhausted #physically exhausted #running on fumes #running on empty

[whimsicalcotton]

local creature barely coping. more at 11

#i'm resigned to the fact that her hair gets longer every time i draw it. increasingly floofy max #she straight up has not looked in a mirror for like. the past ten loops #no idea what she looks like no idea how old she technically is. running on fumes and holding herself together by the skin of her teeth #'as long as i get up then things are alright' mentality. she's fucked your honor #nova scribbles #cw nosebleed #marrow max tag

[soft-girl-musings]

hmm i think i will buy that punching bag after all. i have needs

#my sister's cat ate one too many of my plants when i forgot to close my door #the only times my sister is home are when she's running on fumes from her 12pm-2am days and frankly i just want to hit something about it #if i cant be the mentally ill sibling i can at least be the one with stronger arms yk #shouting into the void here

[thefloatingstone]

Does anyone sometimes watch youtubers they like but who tend to be a little overly zealous start going "I recommend x youtuber who is also a fellow [lgbtq+]. I thought this one cartoon was [socially problematic] but after hearing this person talk about it from their own native perspective on the representation of their own culture I have now completely changed my perspective a complete 180 on it." And you just feel absolutely exhausted?

Like... it's not even the action of changing your mind about something after hearing a different perspective on a matter from someone who has a closer experience with it. But the whole "I was sure to hate this bad bad bad problematic thing until this POC told me it was actually good and now I LOVE it." way of speaking about it is just.... it makes me physically tired. It's the only way I can explain it.

is that just me? Am I just being an asshole here?

#text post #I will admit it's been a very rough week and a half for me #So I am running on fumes as far as mental and emotional energy goes #So this may just be because I have been overtaxing my abilities to cope just to get through the week

[nightingaletrash]

Okay I think my first playthrough will be a Dark Urge Monk. I've still got to decide on the race and design, but I think I'll save that for launch day and play around in the CC until I like what I'm working with.

The Dark Urge just appeals to me so much, maybe its just where I'm at mentally or because of the characters I'm enjoying at this point in time, but the idea of someone wrestling with this inner darkness and the constant, draining battle against it... it'll either end with them finding people who help them control it and provide the support they need to keep it at bay OR it'll go pear-shaped and they'll be worse than ever :3

#bg3 #yes i am still thinking about Her #jinx literally altered my brain chemistry #like she's distinctly Not like the dark urge because she doesn’t have conflict over the things she does #she's Just Like That on her own. no dark impulses required just active choice #but its about the constant mental battle. the exhaustion the endlessness the never ending drain #and the way that it can actively ruin you and your relationships because you're constantly running on fumes #and the need to get it out so you can be free but you don’t know how to do that without making things Worse because no one ever taught you #believe it or not im actually in a pretty healthy mental space these days like im not in utter shambles #ive gotten good at recognising when things are getting bad and heading it off at the pass #but im still dealing with the fallout of years of trauma and mental illness so there's something strangely therapeutic #about exploring characters like jinx because while its not 1:1 my experience there's still kernels of me in there #depression. abandonment issues. paranoia. anger feeling trapped and unloveable #its all dialed up to 100 in jinx but theres bits and pieces of me in there and exploring that helps me come to terms with those pieces #oops this was supposed to be a bg3 post wasnt it lol

[chromoluminary]

i am going to be so brave at work today. im going to be so brave at work and then I penciled thirty minutes in for lunch and then two hours for a full breakdown

#ember talks #everything is fine im just still running on fumes from yesterday #and the jenga tower of mental health is wobbling

[squishe]

i love my job. (heavy /sarc) this is what i came into at work today

#we are not allowed to leave boxes out like that #both for accessibility reasons and because it looks bad #the mit had 4 hours last night to put out the halloween product #4 hours!!!!! #and they had already made all the footprints (like the wooden slabs + spaces for potted/bottled stuff) while we were open #this is #so frustrating #ive been runninf ragged all day #running on fumes #i wanna break down but #as my manager told me we can't have human moments every week #(/s) #(mit agreed that's a really ableist thing to say to someone with chronic illnesses and severe mental illness tho so swag) #i'm so upset and having such a bad day

[littleblackqrow]

"One day. I'd just like to get through one day without feeling so godsdamned tired."

#open #emotionally physically mentally all of it #i swear this man has been running on fumes for the past decade

[clearwillow]

Sometimes you have to be willing to risk heat stroke with 100+ heat index to water your tomatoes and try to drown out the thoughts. Headphones with southern rock help.

#if you ask if I'm ok #the answer is a hard no #being productive to avoid the mental snap because it's too hot and I'm running on fumes #finding out your extremely talented veteran uncle is going into hospice is shaving that thread a little thinner #most of it will be fine I know but tell that to my brain so it'll stop looping

[arolesbianism]

Mark meeting ded is just gonna be him going btw have you heard of the music producer 8ballin' 👉👈? And ae is just gonna sit there like I've been in every wrong place that you can imagine for the past half a decade you tell me

#rat rambles #splat posting #just wait until he figures out hes talking to the guy who was putting out all those sick beats during the lowest point of his life #hes going to be inconsolable #also sorry for the self indulgent mark posting Im just excited for him to get to do things again #despite technically having a lot going on Ive always felt that his limited relationships have made him the weak link of my agents #I love him sm and I love his dynamics with the others sm but he just doesnt have the bond with either of off the hook that I wish he did #but its kinda inevitable because he definitely was way too up his own ass during octo expansion to willingly talk to marina much #and pearl by extention #in fact cuttlefish is who he ended up closest to but hes been busy being off with his favorite children #so Im hoping thisll give me more ideas for him and pearl especially in the modern day when hes much more stable mentally #bestie survived the horrors of being 14 nothing will ever get as bad as that <3 #now would probably be a good time to read octo expansion retranslated tbh make sure Im not missing anything super important #itll probably also be good to make sure Im satisfied with the current state of marks octo expansion stuff and rework some stuff maybe #I probably wont touch it too much but I think maybe adding some early on mark marina interactions could be good #basically give him a frame of reference for what talking to her felt like before his old grudge starts to return to him #oh yeah btw for mark his temporary memory loss was from too much exposure to sanitized ink #he did in fact go there to sanitize himself the only reason he wasnt able to was because the fumes from the shower caused his movement to #get kinda fucked up along with his vision so he fumbled about for a bit as his body fought the bits of sanitized ink that got in his system #he thought he was straight up dying so he tried to retreat but ended up running into cuttle and sash and the rest is history #his mental and physical state would worsen a bit more and only after that would his body start to slowly but surely flush the stuff out #it wasnt nearly enough to properly sanitize him or cause any coloration but it was still very much enough to effect him poorly #part of the reason that the trials helped with the memory loss was that all that movement and moving ink through his systems helped a lot #but he still struggled a Lot with it initially due to his struggles with balance and coordination #even post oe he has worsened short term memory and has some nerve damage #so yay chronic pain time #despite this he's still a duelies squelcher main because ofc he is #but in all seriousness he often does have to wear wrist braces and has had times where hes had to take extended breaks from ink sporting #its smth he struggles to accept is a limitation for him especially since the whole reason he initially wanted to get sanitized was to focus #more on his combat skills and prove himself as a soldier of great importance

[shouts-into-the-void]

Dear Endless Expanse of Space,

I tried to make oatmeal cookies today but forgot to take the cake out of the oven (it wouldn't fit anywhere else and I didn't want the cat to eat it) so it, the candles, and the plastic tray it was on got very melty.

I then tried to use the self cleaning function on my oven to clean up the melted frosting in the bottom and ended up gassing the entire house so badly my eyes, lungs, and throat are still burning.

How am I supposed to be a functional, non-depressed person when things like this happen every time I try to function?

#blog #letters #mental health #baking #oven cleaning #took an entire hour for the fumes to vent out with all the windows open and two fans running

[timeandspacelord]

Once again thinking about some of the absolute horseshit my mother said to me a year and a half ago that honestly just solidified in my mind that she will never be able to understand me

#it's the 'I didn't say anything when you were being bullied by the entire girl scout troop bc you wanted to be friends with them' for me #it's the 'I don't see the value in friendship' for me #it's the 'why won't you treat this weeklong roadtrip born of stress and bad mental health like a fun bonding thing' for me #it's the *crying* because I was trying to share my interests with her while we tried to make dinner plans and that was misinterpreted? #to the point of - again - making her *cry*. bc I was trying to talk to her abt my one source of joy instead of dinner plans #...for me #it's the victim complex for me #anyway I am going through it tonight lads #today has been such an insanely stressful day #that I am still fully processing #I've been running on fumes for most of the day (like. maybe four hours of sleep my Adderall and a bunch of snack food) #and now I'm tired and coming down a bit from the anxiety high and just. fuck this has been a lot #gonna go fuckin. journal or smth idk

[jaylaxies]

KINKTOBER DAY 23 — JEALOUSY SEX

PAIRING: dom!jake x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, jealous jake, crying, mentions of fight (jake punches a guy), possessiveness, usage of nicknames, breeding.

WC: 1.1k words

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, angels! here we have jealous jake as requested by @ikeuverse! i hope you like it :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! iloveyou all <33

✎ kinktober masterlist

“Fuck—Oh my god, Jake no!”

It happened comically fast how one second you were talking to a guy and the other second, he was being ripped off of you by Jake and thrown right on the ground. 

A punch was delivered straight to his jaw and you could swear you heard the nastiest sound of a crack from the intensity of the blow, which had you running and pulling your boyfriend back with a racing heart, stopping him from punching the guy any further. 

To be fair, Jake did not expect you to not be home when he came back a day earlier from his business trip. It was supposed to be a surprise, and so he headed to the party after asking your friend about your whereabouts. Seeing you talking to a guy with that big of a smile was enough for him to be pissed, maybe the plan of espionage wasn’t the best of his choice, but then the guy went ahead and touched your arm—which would be his last straw. 

It was harmless, not that Jake knew it, but the guy was your old tutor, nothing more or less. 

The scene was messy, the fight embarrassing and you had a feeling that your tutor won’t talk to you again anytime soon, or ever for that matter. 

You drove him back in silence, but it was louder till the point you could hear your ears ringing. He pushed his tongue inside his cheek, not regretting a single thing but you could very well feel him fuming with anger still. 

How dare anyone touch you when you belonged to him and him only? 

Thankfully the drive was short, and so was his patience as he followed you inside your apartment, hot on your tail. You didn’t dare look his way, unsure of how to react, so you rushed to get a medical kit from your room, only to find him sitting on your bed knuckles bleeding and his stare drilling holes in your face. 

Wordlessly, you settled down and grabbed his wounded hand, eyes not meeting his still as you disinfected his knuckles, yet he didn’t flinch with the sting. 

He’s had enough of silence. 

With the same hand, he grabbed your chin and made you look up, right in his eyes, not a trace of humour present in them, only seriousness. 

“What?” You whispered, breathlessly as you did so, mentally scolding yourself for sounding that way. 

“I go out for a few days and you let other guys touch you?” He clicked his tongue, voice condescending, expressing his disapproval well. 

It didn’t help how a shiver went down your spine at his deep tone. He was borderline scolding slash accusing you, and here you couldn’t focus on anything but how hot he looked when he was mad. 

Maybe you did need help. 

“That’s not it—he’s just my tutor, Jake! You can’t punch people like that,” you managed to say, frustration on your face. 

He only chuckled darkly, “do you have any idea how close he was to you?” 

You gulped. Maybe he was invading your personal space now that you think of it, but you didn’t have any guts to admit it to Jake. 

He saw your expression and rolled his eyes, “you belong to me, is that understood?” He asked, jaw clenched and his hold on your chin tightening. 

You whimpered, rubbing your thighs together and you tried to nod despite his hold.  

“I need words, baby. You can use them, right? Or will I have to teach you that too?” His tone got deeper, accent heavy as he spoke against your lips. 

“Yes,” you mumble and Jake rewards you by wrapping his slender fingers around your throat in a swift go, pulling your lips to his as you kiss him back eagerly despite his anger seeping through the kiss. 

You gasp when he bites your bottom lip, “mine,” he groans, his tongue gliding over your own in a way that’s not soft, but hungry. 

Sadly, he pulled away too fast, smirking when you whined at the loss of his touch, but it was a given how he wouldn’t let you get what you wanted so easily. 

“Strip,” he ordered with no room left for argument. 

Jake had always been kind—the perfect boyfriend you could have wished for but never had you seen him being so serious while being intimate, the warmth flooding in between your legs was a clear indication that you loved it. 

“Don’t make me repeat myself, princess,” he whispered, watching you with his legs spread as he sat back, right when you got up with hesitance. 

You knew it wasn’t the best time to tease him, but that only made you wonder just how far Jake would go in terms of punishment. 

So you started off by putting on a show for him, unzipping your dress at a deliberately slow pace which made the nerve of his neck pop out, despite loving the show. 

Right now, he wanted to mark you up. 

It didn’t take him a second before he was standing in front of you, practically tearing your dress into two, picking you up and throwing you on the bed before your mind could comprehend anything else. 

You’re glad you didn’t like that dress too much. 

“Fuck—Jake!” You moan as he kisses you all over your neck, spitting on his fingers before shoving them inside your walls. It was easy given how wet you were, his thumb massaging your clit alongside as you threw your head back against the mattress. 

“This cunt belongs to me, right?” He asked, eyes meeting yours as he lightly slapped your clit a few times to pull you out of daze. 

“Y—yes, all yours,” you brokenly mumble, too busy chasing your pleasure with his fingers, walls clenching around him. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you could hear him shuffling out of his clothes before his red, leaking tip was lined against your wetness, your whines getting louder at the friction. 

“I’ll kill anyone who touches you,” he whispered right against your ear, and your toes curled when you felt his tip prodding at your entrance. 

Who knew your boyfriend would get that possessive, it was new but you didn’t hate it. 

“Do you think you deserve this, hm?” He asked, slapping his cock on your cunt a few times as you cried out, nodding which only made him smirk, “good girl. Always know who you belong to,” he whispered. 

You could feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head, and he pushed his dick in, till he was balls deep inside you, knowing that you’d take everything he gave you that night. 

“I’ll make sure you never forget,” he says before thrusting in hard. 

It was a promise. 

And you were ready to get reprimanded for your mistakes the whole night. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!

permanent taglist: @jaeminvore @macaroonff @ajayke-reads @jaysbiceps @lunalovesstories @jayzdaze @deobitifull @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpoprhia @ikeuizm @woniebae

@lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove @heesuncore @seuomo @kyurizeu @haechan-nahceah @tobiosbbyghorl @jezzebear @jaehoonii @itsgivingitalian @bunhoons @hyacandoit @luvswonyoung @ma-riiii

kinktober taglist: @glitterssim @kaykay11sworld @sfsrm-blog @certifiedmoa @luvkpopp @lanawyi @heerinnie @ablackbtsstan @ma-riiii @mesopret @electrobutterfly @cupidsmoons @erehkinnie30 @mulit05ho3st4n

bold ones couldn’t be tagged!

taglist open! send an ask or comment to be added!

© jaylaxies | tumblr

#🎫 — kinktober! #jake smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enha smut #kpop smut #enhypen hard thoughts #jake imagines #enhypen imagines #jake x reader #enhypen