#retirement home smp

[myriad-of-things]

#Oh look! a tall dark and handsome man #<- me while hunting endermen #minecraft #moonrise draws #the book and quill #retirement home smp #rhsmp #minecraft server #minecraft sona #mineblr #minecraft fanart

[retirement-home-rumble]

Retirement Home Rumble: Finals

MCYT fight I guess

DISCLAIMERS (PLEASE READ):

*TFC was a beloved youtuber who sadly passed away last year. He was submitted and then included in this tournament as a way to honor his memory. **This poll is referring specifically to the characters played by these streamers. However, Technoblade, the youtuber, tragically passed away last year. I do not want to see anyone being toxic or disrespectful to their memories. Feel free to spread propaganda and vote for who you want, but anyone crossing a line will be blocked

Why they would crush the other geezers under the cut:

WARNING: There may be spoilers

Iroh and TFC Propaganda:

Phil and Techno Propaganda:

#retirement home rumble #tournament poll #finals #atla #avatar the last airbender #mcyt #hermitcraft #atla iroh #uncle iroh #iroh #hermitcraft tinfoilchef #hermitcraft tfc #tinfoilchef #dream smp #dsmp #c!philza #philza mcyt #dsmp philza #philza minecraft #philza #mcyt technoblade #dsmp technoblade #techno mcyt #dsmp techno #technoblade #c!techno #c!technoblade #emerald duo

[xxswagcorexx]

sorry but s4 branzy is so funny like first off roll up to the server in your fresh out of prison fit wander 5k blocks away come back to spawn get killed by rekrap get invited back by zam don't log on for months and then have the ugliest retirement home built for you where you get kidnapped commit deforestation before the entire building gets burned down. no wonder he's Like That if any of that happened to be id find an abandoned mine in the woods and never talk to anyone for 7 years

#mcyt #branzycraft #branzy #lifesteal smp #BTW ME CALLING THE RETIREMENT HOME UGLY IS AFFECTIONATE BTW ITS SO BAD IT BECOMES GOOD #the silly house #even funnier when you know branzy started out with building content #truly the guy ever

[cynthrey]

First Page || Prev Page // Next Page

Here goes nothing XD

I present you Champions AU. A fun little au @lunarsands and I have been brainstorming about for a while now, set in the Happy Ending world from Scott’s Season 1 finale, where he isn’t the only one able to remember the previous world, but so does Sausage thanks to his dimension hopping abilities. What could happen when two former enemies turned allies find themselves in a world where they are the only ones to share the memory of a world they no longer belong to? 😉

#spoiler alert: drama. a lot of drama. of the romantic type to be specific #why the manga style? cuz i wanted this to be more clean that my usual sketchy style #but with my regular style it would take me 1-2 weeks to finish a page and i'd rather finish this before i need to go to a retirement home #hell it already took me like 2 and a half weeks to finish this cuz motivation went error 404 #do i know anything about making manga? no but messing up is a way to learn XD #also for those interested. yes this au will have scosage #i mean who you think you are talking to XD #but there will also be angst so beware #kinda nervous for this but very excited too #empires smp #empires mythicalsausage #empires scott #empires smp s1 #dangthatsalongname #scott smajor #mythicalsausage #my art #champion of exor au

[askdan]

opinions on thinknoodles I need this for scientific research

Dan: However, Think IS one of my closest and best friends. So he is up there on my list of "Trustable People". Doesn't mean he can't betray me at any moment of course, he's at a higher risk of doing so but due to familiarities sake, I'd like to think he would never betray me.

Dan: Why ask such a question, though?

[mod quinn apologizes for being late, they were busy with school!]

#dantdm #shady oaks retirement home smp #ask blog

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

Welcome to the Virtual Character Tournament!

Wanna find out who the #1 character of 1's and 0's is? That's what we're gonna find out. Welcome to the Virtual Character Tournament!

The classification can be a bit vague, so let's get into the rules and definitions.

A virtual character is described as a character existing in a digital space (classified by the narrative as such) who primarily operates within said space.

They can have a physical form in some capacity, but it cannot take precedence over their virtual form. (If they do not have a singular physical form and are known to body-hop, that's fine.)

A franchise can have up to 3 representatives.

No OCs. Sorry.

Be respectful of other people. The characters are fictional, but the people rooting for them are not.

No n*zis, t*rfs, tr*nsphobes, or any other related bigots. Not even as an easy springboard for another character to win.

I say virtual characters due to stipulation against AI. AI could work, but in this case, I mean fictional AIs that exist for all kinds of narrative purposes, and not current modern AIs, which exist to let techbros steal from people and cross moral boundaries.

I guess while I'm on that, let's talk about franchises or properties that are excluded from the running.

Real life AIs (ChatGBT, etc.)

South Park

Minecraft SMP

Ender's Game

TOME: Terrain of Magical Expertise

Harry Potter (Unlikely to appear. I'm just covering my bases)

Also, while these characters can still be submitted, do so primarily for propaganda, as they will already be included.

Megaman.EXE (Mega Man Battle Network)

Ai (Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains)

Cortana (Halo)

Other than that, if you have any further questions, submit them to my ask box, and then I'll answer them there and the form accordingly.

DEADLINE TO GET YOUR CHARACTERS IN IS AUGUST 20TH! SO LET'S GO!

Lastly, tagging other great tournaments, like @fandomanimatic-tournament, @mattbracket, @elementspecificcharatourney, @retirement-home-rumble, @sharp-teeth-swag, @enemies-to-allies-tournament...and my past tournament, @elderlytourney!

#virtual character tourney #nominations #character tournament #character polls

[mattbracket]

Welcome to Matt Bracket!

Have you ever wanted to see your favorite Matts fight it out? If so, then this is the place for you! Rules for submitting are under the form link.

Here are your rules for submitting:

1. Your character’s first name MUST be a form of Matt. This includes Matt, Matthew, Matthias, and any other form of the name. Asks will be open if you have any questions about other forms of the name!

2. No Harry Potter and no Dream SMP.

3. Real people are allowed, however they have a much lower chance of getting in than fictional characters.

4. Submit as many characters as you want, just don’t submit the same character over and over again.

5. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have through the ask box!

6. Submissions will end on Sunday, August 6. Date is subject to change if I end up being busy that day.

Also: Do NOT submit these characters. They are guaranteed to make it in no matter what.

Matt (Wii Sports)

Matt (Eddsworld)

Matt (me, the pollrunner) [i don’t expect to get very far but i just thought it’d be funny]

Matt Neff (Papa Louie)

Tags of inspiration below:

@orangecharactersmackdown @obscurecharactershowdown @artificialkids-2k23-official @robot-riot @retirement-home-rumble @hot-take-tournament @every-character-ever-poll @super-smash-bracket @patheticmenscuffle @generic-man-in-suit-battle @cut-content-contest @dwampyverse-tournaments @evil-doppelganger-duel @favcharacterpoll @ferbracket @i-mustache-your-opinion @top-teacher-tourney @john-battle @michaeltournament @throat-goat-gauntlet @the-worst-bracket @themiiofalltime @videogamedogbracket @weird-al-song-tourney

and also @blue-character-brawl @facial-hair-fight @jamesbracket and @steve-smackdown because they’re all me. i really like doing name polls lmao

#mattbracket #tumblr tournament #tournament #competition #poll tournament

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Scribbled this out a few nights ago. It’s not really about any specific event, though it references the Tazercraft Prison stuff and the Election Dinner so spoilers for those. It just... idk I know cc!Philza rarely does lore because by the time people get going he’s falling asleep, buuuuuut in character he surely has his reasons too. Even if getting dragged into it will happen sooner or later. Also. I saw the Antarctic Empire outfit from smp earth and was like. that’s a cool colour I’ll make him wear it. Then ran with it.

Fit, Philza, and the inevitable.

Philza was retired. Fit knew this, and he respected it - after everything, his friend deserved nothing less than to stay at home with his children, to grow potatoes and build basements and decorate nearly every surface with moss and glowberries. His swords had been swapped for axes, his armour hung up for more easily cleaned dungarees, and his wings clipped so badly that he might never regain use of them again.

That last point? It hurt Fit, it hurt him so bad. He remembers seeing Philza fly across worlds, dark as night and free as a bird. Nobody could have stopped him, then. Now... the codes can, Etoiles could, but this world was strange and none of the rules were quite right, and Philza had always been resistant to change.

But Philza was also a dear friend, and Fit could no longer afford for this to go wrong. He trusted nobody on this island, not one of them.

Well.

He trusted Philza, but perhaps it was that trust too which made him hesitate. When Pac and Mike were merely kidnapped for a day, he had been tempted, so tempted to tell him. But then he would have had to tell the rest, and...

Fit was no fool. He knew how it would end. Philza would be unwilling to involve himself, to scared of risking his children- one too eager to fight, the other an easier target than most.

And yet, Philza would help him anyway. Because they were friends, because they had always been friends, because Philza might have been unwilling but he very rarely said no to a genuine plea for help.

He would have agreed, and he would have destroyed himself to do it.

So here they were, stood at the edge of the wall. Ramon was antsy, ready to go, but Fit had insisted on wishing Philza and his eggs a proper goodnight.

"Night mate," his old friend said, as he opened the hatch to his basement.

Fit hesitated, and Philza escaped. But...

"Wait here Ramon," Fit opened it for himself, and followed Philza down.

"Fit?" The confusion was so genuine. "Did you need something else?"

"Philza," he replied. "Put the kids to bed, but then I need to speak to you."

Philza frowned, but nodded - told Fit just to wait outside.

After a short while, Philza returned to the top. His face was grim, and they both knew how this conversation would end.

"So Philza," Fit said. "Do you remember where I come from?"

"I do," Philza replied, his frown falling further.

"I've been taking steps to deal with the Federation at the request of-" Fit spoke quickly, cut off by Ramon headbutting him hard enough to bruise.

"I don't want to know," Philza glanced to the hatch behind him as he spoke, preventing Fit from continuing. "My children, Fit, you know-"

"I do know," Fit held out a hand. "I’m sorry old friend; I wouldn't be asking if I had any other option left."

Philza closed his eyes, looking down and seeming every bit his age. After a long moment he sighed, looking up to the sky, and then the Federation eyesore on his doorstep.

"Just let me check on the children, alright mate? I’ll be right back."

He did not pause before pulling open the hatch.. For a moment he hesitated, looking back, before heading back down.

Fit could hear Philza talk, telling Chayanne and Tallulah to find Forever or Bad if anything happened, anything at all. The noise faded as he sang them to sleep, and then began to busy himself with something else.

Fit waited, and he could only hope that it paid off as Philza disappeared from the contacts list.

He waited, and waited, and then, seven minutes later, Philza returned.

He had changed in those minutes. Gone was the green and the black, but for the gemstone woven into his hair. The hat remained, its stripes now in a cold, icy blue. A matching tunic, a white and red cape hung with gold chains around his neck. It covered the great, black wings, but they - clipped as they were - sat more freely upon his back, stretching and folding themselves with ease.

And then a black mask, made of his own black feathers and woven into the long, golden hair. It formed a crow's face and beak, covering every identifying part of his face.

And around his neck hung the the Favour of Lady Death herself.

In his full regalia, not as Philza of the Hardcore worlds, nor as Death's beloved Angel, but as the ruler of an Empire which once claimed all the world.

Fit nodded to him.

Philza nodded back.

"Tell me, FitMC of 2b2t," Philza's voice dropped low, everything about him making clear the threat he posed to all’. "What do you need me to do?"

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp philza #qsmp fitmc #fanfic by op #my lore knowledge is minimal but I had an outfit idea and I ran with it #q!philza #q!fitmc

[enemies-to-allies-tournament]

Welcome!

This tournament is for the pairs that put aside their differences to fight a common enemy, to those that were once in opposing factions becoming the best of friends, and to many other enemies becoming allies!

(This tournament is run by Mod Sky (she/they), I have also run @eggcrackerbracket and am currently running @nintendo-rpg-characters-2023)

Rules:

The relationship between the characters must be platonic (this isn't enemies to lovers)

While pairs are preferred, groups of 3 are allowed.

Unless stated otherwise, two seats maximum per franchise.

No one from real life is allowed.

No Harry Potter characters.

SMP characters are allowed but only one pair/trio gets a seat and Dream (or any of his current friends) cannot be a member of the pair/trio. (Their status as fictional has been confirmed by the creators but fans are divided, thanks to @transgenderswagcompetition for the infodump as seen here)

Hate speech and any form of discrimination towards other people or participants in this poll will not be tolerated under any circumstances.

Submissions close: July 28th 2023 at 8:00pm PST (This is subject to change)

@/s below the cut for circulation (if you wish to be removed please let me know)

@best-t4t-couple

@retirement-home-rumble

@artificialkids-2k23-official

@best-kirby-character-tournament

@multicolorhairswagtournament

#tournament poll

[theeyoungalabastor]

Technoblade and his Apprentice: The Shattered Totem- Kill or Be Killed (Part 1)

Part 1, Part 2

(Art by: Jammie on Twitter)

Where does this take place?:  The Arctic Empire, New L'Manberg, The Greater SMP

What event takes place?: Technoblade's and (Y/n)'s execution

Character pairing: Piglin!Hybrid!Technoblade and Bear!Hybrid!Reader

Information on chatacter(s): Both hybrids have a human like form but when feeling threatened both are able to shift into a bigger more animal like form that will add onto both strength, agility, and height (height to look more intimidating)

WARNINGS: Blood, character death, descriptive but mild gore, angst, explosions, murder, manipulation, foul language, freezing,

Status: Platonic, Angst, Fluff, Familial (Technoblade sees reader as a sibling)

Pronouns: They/them

Word count: 7,306 (7K)

Page count: 21.4

​​​Summary: Having been included with the aid of destroying L'Manberg with Technoblade both the Piglin man and dear reader soon become the main target for a certain quartet. Nailing wanted posters to the wooden poles around New L'Manberg the ensemble set off with the intent of having the duo pay for their crimes. Public Execution.

        A disk spun on its needle, the haunting like melody soaking into the wallpaper that layered the drywall surrounding them. A fire cackled not far from their pawed feet, hot flames lapping away at the charred wood, it's fuel radiating just enough heat to warm the bear hybrids toes. Shadows dancing with each flicker of the orange blaze.

        E/c eyes drifted to the compass that sat heavily in the palm of their hand, it's sheen surface shining with the loadstone enchant which only became more apparent with the fire's illuminance glinting faintly off of the glass surface, it's red pinpointing north.

        Nervousness gnawed hungrily at the pit of your rather empty stomach as the thick skin of your thumb traced the letters dug into the cold iron back, careful not to damage the devices surface with your keen talons. Ever since The Blade himself handed you the device it had been clipped to your belt safely. Every so often you would spare a glance in hopes the pin would click, directing you towards your friend's new home. 

        At times you would stand timidly at the end of the dock where you last saw the other hybrid, where he told you he was going to retire from everything. 

The conflict.

The government.

The violence...

        "Y/n..." Technoblade stare at the sun that began to rise above the horizon as if it were to be his last, tired eyes tracing over the water line as the ball of flames arose giving birth to a new morning. His hair reeked of soot and gun powder from the recent events, here and there a patch of his roseate fur was littered in dark splotches from where clumps of dirt and gravel had landed during the nation's destruction done by the hands of its own founder. But the hybrid seemed to pay no mind to his tainted coat but more on the effervescent ball of flames that bathed the smoke-filled firmament in ravishing hues of orange and gold. 

        He lost the man he considered a brother. Wilbur. To his own father. Impaled through the chest by a glistening diamond sword, if Techno didn't know any better, he would have mistaken the glittering blade as the one that Tommy had gifted the winged man on their last Christmas together. 

        "Yes Techno?" Your voice was dry, hoarse even, noticeably wavering and damn near dead of all emotion, along with the dull sheen that glossed your e/c eyes. His ruby hues drifted to meet your own. Pain pooling deeply in those blood tinted orbs. Not only did The Blade lose a brother, but you had also lost something as well. 

        Your home. 

        And your friends. 

        You lost their trust the minute you turned to face the Piglin hybrid, hand held out demandingly as he had already placed two of those ebony skulls atop of the four blocks of inklike sand that wept, but their cries fell onto deaf ears as he afforded his gaze to your stony features. The third skull sat in his clammy palms, ready to slam onto the last block of soul sand; but he hesitated, looking down at your outstretched hand that itched to feel the smooth bone of the skull. Without a second glance, he placed it into the heel of your palm with a firm nod. 

        That is probably where the two made their mistakes.

        "I think I'm going to retire." His words were stern but soft as he glanced at you almost as if you were a kicked puppy cowering with its tail between its legs. Your eyes remained on the still waters that skipped across the shoreline, the sound was painful reminder of what once was. "Where will you go? Will I see you again?" 

        Technoblade knew you didn't hold what happened against him, especially knowing his unexplainable hatred towards governments, I mean shit. Look what it's done. He lost his brother for God's sake, to the unquenchable thirst for power that he had at the tip of his fingers.

        Techno shook his head, unsure. "I honestly don't know, wherever the wind takes me I guess." Digging a hand into one of his pockets the taller male ferreted around before fishing a handheld object from its depths. You watched with a quirked brow as the taller man held out a large hand, gesturing for you to take what sat in his grasp. 

        "For when things go south. Go north."        

        At first when Techno said those words, you didn't think he meant literally, but here you were, eyes glued to the red needle that pointed north. Ever since the day of Wilbur's passing you didn't intend on living in L'Manberg- or NEW L'Manberg that is- after Tubbo took the title of the shattered nations president you had turned away from that unfinished symphony. You now resided within the barrier of the Greater SMP, atop the hill of where a certain tumultuous British boy's home was dug into.

        Some people blamed you for the way things went down, Technoblade unleashing the hellish three headed beasts with the help of your traitorous hands, the TNT that tore the nation's structure, sending everything skyward. They blamed you for helping the Pigman fight against the government that drove his brother to insanity. The Government that exiled its two original founders or the same one that drove the once great leader whose eyes shown with pride's son to destroy the very walls that were made to protect him. 

        You glanced towards the dingy window another content smile splayed at your thinly lined lips.

        You remembered the time Technoblade- the man to who you looked up to with much pride- taught you how to correctly plant potatoes.

        "No, you don't plant them like that, they'll grow wonky." Pulling the vegetable from its hole, the one that you nonchalantly dug and tossed it into. You looked at the taller man that towered over you with a deadpanned expression, the six-foot something man paid no attention to your bored expression. Reaching into his pant pocket the fucia haired man ferreted for a moment. "Why? This is just a waste of fucking time they're just potatoes, nothing to get fussy or even get excited over." You spoke with the roll of your eyes and a shrug before standing beside Technoblade, dusting your soil caked fingers against your filthen and slightly tattered pants, perfect for farming.

        "Yes, they are just potatoes, but these potatoes' are what is going to fuel out battalion and keep our bodies from shutting down on themselves." Pulling a blade from his pocket the other dug its sharp edge into the middle of the vegetable and skillfully cutting it in half. Glancing at your curious figure his long tail snapped back and forth with entertainment. Just a moment ago you were groaning about how potatoes weren't much to be excited about and how planting them was a waste of time. 

        Extending his hand towards you he held the small handheld blade in his scarred clad hand. "Cut them in half, we need to ration as many as we can so there's enough for everyone." You glanced up at the older man with uncertainty glinting in your (e/c) hues, a brow quirked to add into your iffiness. 

        Chuckling softly Technoblade bounced his extended hand expectantly with a soft groan. "Are you gonna take it or not? I'm trying to do a whole bonding moment with my apprentice- and my arm is starting to ache." Now it was his turn to deadpan at your stiffened figure below him. Your round ears flickered as you jumped, fingers softly surrounded the blade, face bloomed with blushing embarrassment. Clutching the blades handle you glanced innocently up at the other, eyes glinting with questioning.

        Crouching slightly beside you Technoblade placed a large hand atop of your shoulder, a finger directed to the bottom of the knife. "Use this part the knife, it divides the meat in the potato better, but when you plant it make sure the small roots here-" He let his acute nails poked at the white spikes that protruded from the plants skin. "-Plant that part in the soil, make sure the cut part is facing the surface so that when it grows the plant's stem can break the surface better." Nodding you watched intently as he explained. 

        "Alright." Reaching into the small potato bag that hung from your hip you pulled out another potato as Technoblade turned away from you to plant the potato that he took from your hole and planted both halves in his own dug holes before scrubbing his palms against the knees of his pants as he covered the crops. 

        You held the potato gently, eyeing it with a faint smile before digging the tip into the skin.

        That was when the days were long and grueling but empty of most problems, the most you had witnessed within the walls of Pogtopia was Wilbur's constant and rabid mental decline that plummeted like a stone in water.

        Blabbering about being the villain and that if he couldn't have L'Manberg, then no one can. And with that, it was blown into the sky with the help of two shape shifting hybrids.

        You clutched the compass, pulling it to your chest. Not many ever forgave you for helping destroy the same thing that they were all fighting to protect, throwing all of their work down the drain like expensive wine. Sometimes it ate at the core of your brain, no matter how badly you wanted to apologize to the children that had to face the wrath of the man with big dark horns, or even witness the once lively leader loose his ever-living mind to the nagging voices and now a boy sent to exile by his own friend, the one who he saw as an actual brother. 

        Is this how Eret felt? When he expressed his remorse for the final control room? 

        Heaving a sigh your e/c eyes drifted out of the window as your mind settled on the boisterous blonde's home, one that use to bound pridefully down the prime path that just so coincidentally happened to lead up to his doorstep, chest puffed, and head held high. It was eerily quiet without his high-pitched laugh or passive aggressive threats. A spark of memory flashed through your mind as you recall a conversation with a certain winged man. 

        "That kid, I'm telling ya, he's given me more gray hairs than my own son." He chuckled humorously as he watched his adopted blonde son clash his skull against the firm horn of his friend. Crying out in pain before rubbing the soon to be bruised spot that blossomed due to their recklessness. Tubbo on the other hand, clutched his stomach that grew tense with laughter a few breathy taunts leaving his cavernous lips.

        He spoke about how incredibly corrupt that government was, how it tossed the presidential titles around like it were a game of Ga-ga ball, and whose ever feet the ball just so happened to hit was the new ruler of the damned nation. The blonde man spoke of how that government drove his one and only son to dementedness and now cast the other aside, doomed to bare exile with the ghastly apparition of who once was. After your departure from L'Manberg, much like Technoblade, you gifted the two a compass that led to your home located just off the prime path, a way to locate you faster when needed. 

        A content but solemn smile tugged at the edges of your lips as you began to reminisce the better times, the times you were still considered a 'good person' but you too, had shoved the goads of violence to the back of your mind. Now, you did not have the voices that sang out in demand for blood, but you did have the invasive or intrusive thoughts that would dance around your mind like a ballet dancing the nutcracker. They were tempting, urging you to wrap your large palms around the throat of anyone who stepped foot on your doorstep, watch as their lively eyes glazed over with the thin sheet of death or maybe see your clawed fingers tainted with the said crimson whine. 

        This is what war does to a person.

         No matter who they are. 

        A person could have the kindest heart and brightest eyes that one has ever seen before being tainted by the trauma of war that could make any man go berserk.

        But it's not the memories that were left behind that made these impulses bubble to the surface, it was the blood that stained your tongue during it. Once an animals tongue collides with the copper relish of blood, it lingers like honey, like a craving even. And that is exactly what it was for you, a nagging craving that had turned sour as of the recent months. You blamed the damned hybrid side of you, the rabid bear. 

        The snap of the fire awoke your dazed figure back to reality as you glanced over, eyeing the glowing ember that sat on the waxed wood of your floor, with a groan you heaved yourself to your pawed feet before padding towards where the smoldering chunk of charred lumber lay, nonchalantly kicking it back into the hot pit to smolder into ash. 

        'Get ready my dearest friend they have bound my wings, they've found you.'

        Gaze snapping to the communicator that sat atop the end table next to the hard leather cover of your recent read the screen illuminated. No one ever messaged you unless they wanted something from you, or it was an emergency. 

        Nimbly dancing around the furniture that littered your path, your large, clawed manus lifted the device to your line of sight. It was from Philza. The text a whispered message.

        >(Y/n) whispered to Ph1lzA< What do you mean 'they've found you'? Who is it?

        Panic slowly installed itself into the core of your stomach as the whisper sent, jumping around like an energetic puppy being taunted with an afternoon walk. 

        Who found you?

        What did they want?

        They bound his wings? 

        Did he mean Chat?

        Seconds felt like eons as your (e/c) hues stare daggers into the electronic device. If looks could kill, that communicator would be fine ribbons.

        >Ph1lzA whispered to you< The Buther army, they found your compasses. I don't have much longer for they are confiscating the communicator, be safe m8.

        Shit.

        The Buther Army, a battalion of men who seek vengeance on the ones who've wronged them, and it looks that you were one of the people at the top of that list.         

        Your rounded ear flicked as a stoic expression stoned your features into a thin but serious line. You needed to prepare. 

        Instantly your hands got to work, thumbing through the pages of your brewery book, collecting the needed supplies to whip up the potions you would undoubtably be needing to face multiple men alone. The house reeked of panic as your lip pulled into a focused snarl, revealing the sharp edges of your canines, jabbing the stick to your grinding bowl against the fragile blaze rod you spun the wand, crushing the rod into a fine powder to then be turned into strength potions.

        Your dark tinted armor sat on a nearby armor stand prepared and enchanted, ready for usage, in the stands hand a glistening netherite sword that shone with enchantments, in the other a bow that too sang with advanced enchants. (Technobalde had helped you find the best enchantments and how to get them).        

        A nearby stand bubbled as the brewing came to a finish to which you swiftly slid into your hotbar, storing the rest in the slots of your inventory. Minutes turned to hours as your grueling work was done.

        Fixing the strap of your armor your pawed feet slid into the metal of your boots that had been tailored by the great Puffy herself, lords bless that woman's soft soul. With the dusting of your shoulder to rid of the red stone dust, gun powder and blaze powder you were ready, body reverberating with fluctuating anxiety that gnawed at the core of your mind, clouding it with blurry cotton.

        They were bound to approach you first since you were undoubtedly closer to the reconstructing nation built off of corruption and pain and you were sure Philza had messaged Technoblade to inform him of the approaching battalion that approached your home radiating malice. 

        Fixing your sights on the carpet that sat at the foot of the rocking chair that you sat in just moments ago you eyed the fabric remembering what lied beneath. Swiftly making your way towards the said furniture you tossed the carpet aside revealing the trap door it concealed.

        A growl left your throat as the front door vibrated from the vigorous pounding as the lock held it in place.

        "(Y/n) Step out of your home and surrender your weapons." A venomous voice demanded firmly as the sound of metal on metal made it to your rounded hybrid ears, four, that's how many shadows' you'd counted from beneath the door. 

        The power behind each knock grew potent as you slipped down the hatch, the voice of Quackity being deafened by the banging door. 

        Grabbing the legs of the rocking chair you swiftly pulled it over the hatch as it rested on your head against the cold metal of your helmet. At this point the knocking was no longer but the hard thud of a boot colliding with the now splintering wood you lowered the hatch still covered with the carpet down. And with that you began climbing down just as the door was thrown against your wallpapered walls. 

        "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" The duck hybrids voice reeked with sour venom as he spoke, you could hear the group of boots thumping against the floorboards over your head. "WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BEAR!" His voice seethed hatefully. 

        Your boots hit the stone of the tunnel that stretched farther than you would have liked but this here hall of cold stone is what divided you from being captured and possibly killed and freedom that shown just beyond that faintly glowing opening just a few yards away.

        "Look at this," Fundy spoke deathly close to your hatch as the sound of furniture being tossed aside like a child's toy made it to your ears a deep odious chortle radiated the bird man's throat as the hatch was thrown open. Thats when the two of you made eye contact. A snarky smirk pulled at the corners of your lips as a two fingered solute was directed to the seething Quackity clad in netherite armor. 

        enraged vociferation erupted as you slid a speed potion from your belt and popping the cork before again glancing up at the winged man who scaled swiftly down the ladder, earth brown hues that burned with a dangerous fire still locked on your form. With a playful chuckle and wink you downed the vials contents that took effect almost as soon as it made contact with your lips, legs pumping, creating distance between you. Capture. And freedom.

        The illuminated opening approached rapidly as a crazed adrenaline-filled grin spread across your features. Blood pumped loudly in your rounded bear ears. But as fast as it came it was gone as your euphoria only lasted a few moments; the familiar sound of hissing sounded faintly, even the sound of racing blood and thinning adrenaline it made your whole world slow almost to a stop. 

        As if time were being manipulated as said, it seemed to slow as you frantically tried to stop your speeding form from the now crumbling wall, the shards blooming from beside your head, the sight just out of your prefrail vision as your armored hands lifted to shield your face.

        Like the flip of a switch time returned, your door to freedom slammed shut as your fingers brushed its closing knob. So close but again, so far. Your body was flung back to skid across the stone floor, a few hot morsels slicing through the flesh of your cheek. The sound of shattering glass made you curse loudly as the contents of your potion bottles spilled against the cold floor. Your shock was momentary as you regained your composure, jumping back to your pawed feet clumsily.

        The exit was blocked by debris. 

        There was no way out.

        Ringing enveloped your erratic senses, vision blurring together.

        The exit was blocked by debris. 

        There was no way out.

        You had to fight. 

        Guess it's time to sooth your hunger, your thirst for blood. 

        Turning to face the four who stood in the narrow hall, you lifted your netherite blade in comparison to their four diamond axes that were too raised, ready to strike.        

        Quackity's chest bounced with entertainment as your form took a battle stance as he lifted his axe, directing the point towards your now bulked form obscured in tainted and matted fur as you huffed, still out of breath from running."(Y/n) (L/N), you are under arrest for the assistance of destroying L'Manberg and being associated with Technoblade. You are here by sentenced. To death..."

.

.

.

.

        "That's great. That's wonderful, but you gotta get outta here Wilbur." Technoblade stated firmly pushing a finger to his temple to sooth the raging voices that roared in his ears whilst pulling the blade from its place on his mantal. The pale skinned ghost turned to face his younger brother as stress knitted into the skin of Techno's brow. "They're gonna come, they're gonna see you- and they- I don't know what they're gonna do to you-" Technoblade turned swiftly to another brewing stand, removing the potions from their spots on his counter, "-I don't know what they're gonna do to me but- I don't think it's gonna be good." Fixing the round vials to his belt, Technoblade lifted the shawl from its hook before swinging it around his shoulders, locking the chain that held it in place. 

        Ghostbur held his fist to his chest anxiously as he hovered over the wooden floor of his piglin brother's cabin. Technoblade turned to face the transparent male with a sigh, placing a hand on his shoulder before opening the door. "Alright, there are some bad men Wilbur that are coming to get me-" The pink haired male's words halted in his throat as the said ghost exited close behind the taller male. Swiftly making his way towards the spruce fencing that lined the staircase Ghostbur leaned over with wide oxy eyes. With a gasp the man pointed a directed finger to the open field of snow. "Techno look..." Scarlet hues following the older of the two's finger to the open tundra the piglin froze with furrowed brows. "It's a sign!" Wilbur turned back to his younger brother excitement swirling in his glossy black orbs. "Blue!"

        "Ghostbur, I need you to take that sheep." Using the tip of his sword to point tot he said animal he looked the ghost of Wilbur Soot in the eyes before speaking again. "And get as far away from here as possible." 

        Ghostbur's features shifted happily as he excitedly heeded the others warning. "Can I have a leash?" The man questioned innocently rubbing the knitted cuffs of his yellow sweater anxiously. He did NOT like the way the pinkette was acting. The said male rushed back into the house as Ghostbur sat atop of the plywood that connected the fencing rails.

        "Yeah, I can go far away," glancing back towards the taller male he watched as Technoblade's large pink ears flicked prudently. "Would it be easier for you if I went far away?" 

        "Uhh, I just want you to be safe Ghostbur!" Technoblade replied as he lifted the top to another chest, ferreting frantically through it before jumping to another letting the lids fall closed with a loud thud.

        "I'm always safe Technoblade, I'm already dead." The ghost floated towards his twin who hastily shoved the lead into his transparent hands, "what are they gonna do? Double kill me?" The brunette chuckled humorously at his own joke but stopped as he saw the glint of desperation in the other man's crimson hues.

        "Ghostbur, it's stopped snowing- go as far away as you can or go and hide over a hill or something, alright?" Leading the ghost out of the door he raked a clammy palm through his infrared locks as the said other contently bound from the lifted porch, lead in hand as he approached the animal, latching it to the lead and softly tugging it towards a nearby hill cameoed in thick pine. "Bye bye Techno, have fun preparing for the event!"

        Returning back to sporadically searching through the many chests that lined the walls he retrieved what he saw fit for battle, the paranoia that devoured his mind making things all the lot harder.

        Were they only going after him?

        What if they hurt Ghostbur?

        Was Phil okay?

        Were you okay?

        It had been a good long while since the God of Blood had fought another, it had been too long since his hands knew the form of his hands wrapped around the hilt of a sword tainted with blood. Maybe if things weren't as he seemed it wouldn't come to that, maybe he could negotiate with the ensemble to prevent spilling blood. He was a retired man, he sworn against violence a long time ago and sought refuge within the snowy tundra to live out his retirement.

        Chatter awoke the man from his thoughts as a pink bore ear flicked towards the source, crouching low the man clad in red and netherite tip toed his way towards the window where the voices seemed to grow louder. Using his index finger to lift the cloth of his drapes Technoblade peered through the thick sheets of glass softly blanketed with frost and fog. 

        Swiping a hand across the glass he peeked into the night where he saw Ghostbur chatting contently with the netherite wearing men. "He got captured IMIDIATELY, I've never seen a man get captured to quick holy Hell." The said ghost glanced towards the cottage every so often he gave a polite wave before pointing excitedly towards the windows. 

        "Shit, no, no don't wave at me- NO, DON'T POINT AT ME! DID HE JUST TURN AND POINT AT ME!" Pinching the bridge of his nose Technoblade groaned out in despair before sighing heavily before again peeking out the window, a bead of sweat dripping down his chin.        

        "Oh crap, they have full enchanted netherite- I thought they were broke-" The man chuckled to himself before lifting the curtain a bit higher to see what was happening despite not being able to hear the conversation. Almost instantly Ghostbur's face brightened impossibly bigger as he frantically waved at the man in the window. 

        Dropping the curtain, the man pressed the heels of his palm into his eyes with a groan of complaint. Standing from his crouched position he pulled the curtain all the way open only to cry out in complaint as Ghostbur ran enthusiastically towards the cottage.

        "HEY TECHNOBLADE! They say they're gonna kill you Technoblade-" Opening the wooden doors Ghostbur invited himself in approaching the nether beast.

        Technoblade lurched forwards to catch the door handle as Ghostbur again made his way outside, "Ghostbur- why- why are you leading them over to my house Wilbur- why are you doing this?" Ignoring his brother's words of betrayal Ghostbur turned to face the others scarred face. "What would you like me to say back to them?" Glancing towards the hill that the group of now four stood Technoblade eyed them wearily.

        "Uh, how about you look at them and tell them that I'm not here."

Ghostbur's brows furrowed tightly. "But that'd be lying, I don't like lying!"         

        "We- THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME WHY ARE YOU NOT OKAY WITH LYING!? Aaand they're all here- and their all right outside my house- Thanks Ghostbur" standing on the flight of stairs Technoblade puffed out his chest as he clutched the hilt of his sword closer unsure to use it or not.        

        "Oh, Hello again Technoblade." Quackity's lips pulled into a wicked grin as Tubbo fixed the handle of his hatchet in his hand.

        "Uh, hello guy's, why have you guys come all the way over here- to my humble abode?" The said man descended the stairs where he stood a few moments ago as he eyed the Four before him. Quackity, Fundy, Ranboo and Tubbo. Where was the third? 

        Tubbo stepped forwards with a slight tremble in his stance as he spoke with a wavering voice. "Technoblade." He inhaled. "You need to pay for your war crimes." 

        "Woah, woah, woah, that was in the past man, alright? That was a different Technoblade. I'm a changed man now! I'm in retirement, I'm a good person now Tubbo." Here he went, negotiation, maybe he would be able to change their minds with assurance.

        Quackity hummed in denial whilst shaking his head, nose scrunching with malice as he lifted his axe to point at the man who stood before him the sheen of antipathy grew thicker with each passing second. "Techno, you and (Y/n) exploded L'Manberg with fucking-"

        "You two literally spawned withers EVERYWHERE!" Tubbo cut in, placing a firm hand to the ravenette's shoulder. 

        Shrugging the brunette's hand away the duck hybrid stepped forwards slightly, mock understanding lacing his already ill toned voice. "I'm sorry Technoblade, but you two need to be brought to justice for that. And there is nothing I can do to change that" The male shrugged boldly, spinning the blade of his axe in his hand.

        "Okay- Listen you guys, I've gone through so much effort over the past months to change my violent ways, I have reformed alright?" Lifting an empty hand to his head an index finger jabbed into the flesh of his temple as he spoke again. "The VOICES demand blood, and I- I have been denying THEM! I've been fighting back! PLEASE, please don't make kill all of you." Letting his hand drop the other that held the hilt of his sword directed to the four who stood before him before backing away a step. "Please just leave."

        A tenseful silence fell upon the men before one spoke again. "Technoblade, please just come peacefully..."

        Quackity lifted a hand to silence the president of the broken nation as he nodded firmly with a nonchalant shrug, "you know what, yeah, how about you show us around? Show us what you've been doing while in retirement. Let's do this peacefully."

        Technoblade tensed at the raven-haired man's tone as he side stepped away from the four, swiftly approaching the far side of his house hesitantly sliding the sword into its spot on his hip. "I- huh- Well I have Bees' here, aren't they nice?" 

        Tubbo's eyes lit up slightly now with relaxed shoulders at the mention of his favorite mob, approaching the small makeshift bee farm he placed a hand against the glass as one shimmied its chunky body from the hole of its hive to nuzzle into the flowers that lined the wall. At the sight of this the four others openly approached the bee farm. 

        With a few wary backpedal steps, the pig hybrid turned on the ball of his heel, sweat gathering at the hair of his brow as he began to run from the distracted battalion of four.

        After a few moments and a few feet away shouts of panic instilled as multiple footsteps followed behind the taller male who then skidded to a stop, hands raised in mocking surrender. "Hey, hey, hey, it was just a joke-"

        "You know what, fuck it Techno, we tried to do this civilly, but we won't let you out of here in one fucking peice, we are going to fuck you up techno. It's either going to be the easy way or the hard way. We're going to go back to L'Manberg and you're going to come with us. There's no other way around it." Quackity spun his axe skillfully as he took a battle stance.

        Technoblade's brows knit together tightly as the voices began to chant.

        Blood for the Blood God.

        Blood for the Blood God!        

        BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

        His top lip pulled into a snarl revealing the sharpening canines, his figure seeming to take on new heights as patches of fur bloomed across his skin, the armor that sat loose across his stature grew tight as he revealed his full glory. 

        It was time to sooth their hunger.

        With a huff from his snout and the snap of his jaw's he growled. "If that's how it is... I CHOOSE BLOOD!" Ripping the leather belt from his waist he slammed it down, the glass splash vials that lined it shattered coating the beast in its contents as his muscles bulked, eyes grew dilated with speed and the screaming voices, followed with his body ached with regeneration. Technoblade ripped the sword from its sheath as he sprung, blade raised high with the intent to kill.

        The sharpened edge dug into the handle of Quackity's axe before unloding it from the wood and hacking down again as the said bird hybrid spun away, avoiding the deadly strike.

        Panicked shouting ensued as the group of four scattered, slipping against the sheet of snow.

        Turning his attention towards a certain fox featured boy Technoblade dug the hooves of his feet into the frozen forest floor, launching himself forwards delivering an armor crumbling blow. Clutching his now aching ribs Fundy scrambled to escape the beast's power whilst crying out about how God damned heavy, he hit even with the performance enhancing potions.

        Sliding just a few feet away was Tubbo, axe at the ready as he charged the pink coated beast that snarled, clouds of hot smoke bellowing from his nostrils as he too charged, scarlet hues glazed with the intent to annihilate to cut down each and every single one of the men who dared disturb his retirement and force him back into the ways of violence, forcing him to collapse under the pressure of the voices to sustain their unquenchable thirst.

        Fear replaced the once confident look that crossed his face as the boy turned to run, netherite boots sliding against the frozen ground. A cry of panic escaped the ball in his throat.

        "BIG Q DO SOMETHING, BIG Q!" The hook in his boot caught the root of a tree, sending the president tumbling to the forest floor, diamond axe raised as Technoblade's sword collided with the base of the smaller blade, applying pleasure to the hilt of his sword the Piglin beast snarled as Tubbo's arms trembled under the unbearable weight as his emerald hues met with the dilated pair that danced with pain. 

        Strings of curses fell from Quackity's lips as he glanced about, looking for something to use for leverage, knowing full well he could use his gift but that was needed for more drastic measures.

        The blade of the hybrid's sword dug into the flesh of Tubbo's shoulder as he cried out, struggling to push the massive creature away from him in order to escape, but it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, his attempts always went down in vain.

        The familiar sound of hooves awoke The Blade from his stoper, snapping his head to the sound he saw Quackity perched on the back of a rearing Carl who whinnied in displeasure before shaking his head in a final attempt to rid of his new rider.

        Panicked, Technoblade tore his blade from the other's before turning to face the ravenette.

        "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HORSE QUACKITY!?"

        "Technoblade, stop what you're doing, stop right now-"

        "Woah, woah, woah, woah, stop what you're doing. Get away from that horse Quackity." Lifting the blood tainted sword, the oversized beast directed it to the man who stirred the reigns of his stallion with a grin, satisfied that he finally found a weakness in the Legendary Technoblade. 

        "No." Quackity stated with a slight jerk of the reigns that willed the horse into a standing still as he held the handle of his axe to the horse's beige fur. "You get away from them Technoblade. If you pull any shit, I am going to kill Carl. I will fucking slay him if you don't get away from them." 

        The piglin beast's breathing stuttered as he widely stepped away from the two other hybrids.

        "Technoblade, I am going to kill your horse-"

        "-Why would you do that?"

        "Unless you cooperate." 

        Technoblade's eyes narrowed as he hesitantly stepped away from the raven-haired man who sat atop his noble steed. "What do you want from me?"

        "I want you to drop your shit, drop your shit Techno and Carl doesn't get hurt."

        With that being said the beast formed man threw his axe into the snow. 

        "All of it, this is not a negotiation. Drop it all"

        Technoblade glanced down at the blood slicked blade that sat light in his large palm before he huffed in what seemed to be amusement. "I can get a new horse if I need too. It doesn't matter." (I know he wouldn't really say this, but for plot's sake, he is.)

        Quackity looked slightly taken aback at the statement as the war criminal before him readjusted his grip on the swords hilt. With a stunned huff followed by demented and amused laughter the man on the horse shook his head with a nod. 

        "For some reason, I knew you'd say that. So that's why I brought you a gift, Technoblade." Digging the heel of his boots into the horse's ribs Quackity approached a small thicker part of the forest where he stopped and turned to face the oversized hybrid.

        Lifting a hand, the beanie wearing man spoke with wallowing pride as the gift was shoved from behind the thicket, the sound of chains rattling filled the tense thick air. "May I present to you-" Watching as it landed limply in the snow, Quackity slid from the horses back before hopping towards the thing like a child who was told they could have whatever they wished at the candy store. 

        Skidding to a stop, Quackity planted both feet on either side of the figure before gripped a fist full of hair, tugging the figures blooded face up from the soiled snow to reveal who it was. 

        "YOUR ONE AND ONLY APPRENTICE, TADA!!" He sang in excitement that he was finally able to reveal his plan B. 

        (Y/N) grunted painfully as Technoblade's breath caught in his throat. 

        Their (h/l) (H/c) locks were matted with dark and now frozen blood that had dripped down the crown of their head before drying, their nose busted and bloodied as clots of blood plugged each nostril, both lips that were now blue from the cold were split so deep that he was sure he could see the younger one's gums that were too painted crimson from their harsh faceplant into the icy ground as shallow and stuttering breaths wheezed past your swollen. The once nice thin clothes that they wore were torn and tattered, tainted with their own crimson whine, you had not been dressed to embark on a trip to the frigid tundra. Your hands were bound behind your back by a pair of copper cuffs.  (Copper is what keeps shape shifting hybrids from shifting into their animal form)

        But what made his blood turn cold was how deathly pale you were. From what he could see you lost quite a bit of blood while on your way over but the bruises and deep cuts that littered your figure did not make you look any better in any way shape and or form.

        Quackity held the handle of his axe with bubbling excitement as he glared challengingly at the shifted man. "Drop your shit Technoblade..."

        Technoblade was frozen where he stood, eyes glued to your weakened form. You looked to broken, your (e/c) hues that once glistened with courage and power now sat dull and defenseless, he could have sworn that he saw guilt swirl in those dull eyes of yours.

        Gripping the tufts of hair in his hand tighter Quackity lowered the sharpened edge of his diamond axe to rest tightly at the ball of your throat.

        "Or I will kill this kid, right in front of you."

        "Don't..." Your voice came out hoarse, tone just above a whisper, but he was still able to catch it. "You still have time to r-run." 

        Tearing his gaze from your shivering form, Technoblade dropped his sword.

        His potions.

        His crossbow.

        Trident.

        Golden apples. 

        All of it, before finally unlatching the hold-knob of his cloak and tossing it to the side and finally letting the glistening crown that sat atop his head clatter to the forest floor alongside his netherite armor. 

        His hands raised in surrender. 

        Quackity's brown eyes burned with victory as he removed the weapon from your throat, both of his feet from either side of you were no longer there, letting your head again fall into the snow you were then hoisted up from under your shoulder. Whimpering painfully, you unwillingly leaned against the ravenette for support as he danced giddily before his energetic facade dropped to look Technoblade dead in his rage filled eyes. 

        "So here is what's going to happen Technoblade, (Y/N). We are going to take you both back to L'Manberg to face trial. Alright?" His voice seethed as the other person he was supporting weakly lifted their head. 

        "Sounds like... Bull shit..."

        Tubbo stood, lips pulled into a thin line. "They just insulted our government..."        

        Technoblade snapped his head to face the ram. "Oh, we just insulted your, oh your government has been insulted. OHHH!"

I had to put a few of Technoblade's funny moments because I am missing the hell out of that man.

Edited and not proofread

Masterlist

#techno #dsmp techno #ctechno #ctechnoblade #dsmp #dsmp x reader #dsmp x you #dsmp x y/n #dsmp fanfic #oneshot #dsmp oneshot #part 1 #technoblade x reader #technoblade #technoblr #philza minecraft #minecraft #minecraft youtubers #platonic #sbi fanfic #ph1lza #emerald duo #sleepy bois inc #bedrock bros #sbi 115 #non bianry #nonbinary reader #they them #x reader

[myriad-of-things]

get yourself friends who will roleplay a dnf wedding with you on the minecraft server

ft. (in order of appearance) @lightns881 (pianist, wedding planner, built the venue), @peach-oolong-tea (flower girl, pyrotech), @ischleepzzz (script and edited this video!), @dontrollthedicesideblog (hair and make up = made the armor stands), ryan (pyrotech and photographer), me (server admin and officiant) and discord text-to-speech as dream and george

#retirement home smp #rhsmp #minecraft shenanigans #dreamnotfound #dnf

[pruechaosbracket]

ROUND 3: Sam and Max VS Team Musical Number

About Sam and Max: A duo of Freelance Police comprised of the relatively calm 6-foot tall dog Sam and the violent rabbity-thing Max. Most of the time, Sam has to hold Max back from "unnecessary violence", even though both of them will still use it most of the time, this dynamic can also switch when some one calls Sam fat or McGruff, which almost ended him shooting his past self once, and when Max's brains where stolen he went rampage of interrogations and turned into a noir version of himself. They both tried to open an obviously evil treasure chest right after Sam explained how it would probably release horrors upon the world, they tested what was and was not censored/bleeped-out, they have also broken hell and can breath in space. Sam ate so many fudge ice cream bars that he became immune to chocolate, and Max promised to take Sam down with him when he dies.

About Oli: An isekaied bard, the first player on Empires SMP, and the sole survivor of Afterlife SMP, having found himself in Empires SMP after trying to find his version of Sausage and instead finding Pearl, he quickly noped out due to the large amount of both Pearl's and Sausage's heads and him wanting to be alive. During his first day/episode on Empires, he named his new home the Olipoligo, built a "mega base", named his wolf after Sausage, found and raided an ancient city, outran the Warden, speedran killing the Ender Dragon, kicked the server's first mystery, stole Gem's horn, got deemed a bard, and got arrested by Fwip. He has also; gathered a bunch of Ender Men via Ender Rail (In Afterlife), fell into dept with Fwip and the Goblin Empire, tried to return to Afterlife which failed, organized the Rift Festival, and accidentally hatched the Ender Dragon Egg.

About Doofensmirtz: An "evil" scientist with ambitions to take over the Tri-State Area. He has a giant building/house/lab with "Doofensmirtz Evil Incorporated", which is also sang every time it's first seen per episode. Everything he creates ends in -inator, with their purpose ranging from the previously mentioned taking over the Tri-State Area or at least minorly inconveniencing it, to getting petty revenge on someone, to some kind of weird revenge related to his awful childhood. He named an evil organization L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., which is technically an acronym the full name isn't much better as it stands for "League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness". After he retired from evil he temporarily joined O.W.C.A partially thanks to him being legally an ocelot, and made an time machine shaped like a taco stand with no option for day; as it was replaced with a cup holder, and diverged a major world-saving plan to get his favorite orange soda.

#pure chaos bracket #poll #polls #tumblr polls #tournament #tournament poll #bracket #sam and max freelance husbands #sam sam and max #max sam and max #samandmax #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #freelance police #oli empires #empires smp #empires s2 #empiresblr #empires s1 #the orion sound #dr doofenshmirtz #doofensmirtz #phineas and ferb

[retirement-home-rumble]

Retirement Home Rumble: Round 3

Side B

*DISCLAIMER (PLEASE READ):

This poll is referring specifically to the characters played by these streamers. However, Technoblade, the youtuber, tragically passed away last year. I do not want to see anyone being toxic or disrespectful to his legacy. Feel free to spread propaganda and vote for who you want, but anyone crossing a line will be blocked

Why they would crush the other geezers under the cut:

WARNING: There may be spoilers

Phil and Techno Propaganda:

Carl and Ellie Propaganda:

#retirement home rumble #tournament poll #round 3 #mcyt #dsmp #dream smp #dsmp philza #dsmp techno #dsmp technoblade #mcyt technoblade #techno mcyt #philza mcyt #philza minecraft #philza #technoblade #c!technoblade #c!techno #c!philza #pixar up #disney up #carl fredricksen #carl and ellie

[citrus-blade]

Soft

Day 6 of Citrus Dreamnoblade Week with the prompt 'Dream SMP'. Way too late but oh well.

Link to AO3 or read it under here!

Dream wasn’t himself. Literally, because when Techno wanted to visit his lover like every morning, he was gone. Instead he got replaced by someone who looked like him, just no scars and much softer. Who was this Dream and where was his Dream?!

Story under the cut! Words: 3,584

It was a completely normal day, nothing special was happening at the time and nothing special was planned. Dream was out of prison and as feral as ever, but was recovering. Techno had saved him months ago and Quackity had given up on finding him, much to Techno’s relief.

You see, when Techno was in prison with Dream for a few months he and the teletubbie had come closer. At first they were friends, then they were best friends which tuned into friends with benefits and eventually boyfriends. Yeah, it was a wild ride.

But the only thing that mattered was that Dream was save now, the people of the server left him alone after realising that he was out of commotion. The man had been broken, was barely able to hold a weapon. Was he still batshit crazy? Also yes, he usually started planning something complete unnecessary, but every time Techno just yoinked him away from his plan and told him they lived in retirement.

That usually worked and when not Techno made him explain why he wanted to do something and came up with counter arguments. And when he still tried to go and destroy peoples homes because they deserved it – which they did – Techno simply asked him not to and Dream listened.

Dream was broken, mentally. The man could still fight, he did chase Tommy around right after he had broken out of prison and wanted to destroy Kinoko Kingdom, but mentally he wasn’t okay. So to get all his anger out Techno regularly fought him, sometimes Niki and Philza joined, but mostly it was just them.

Now you’d guess that Dream was living with Techno, right? It would have been the logical thing considering that they were boyfriends, well, they didn’t. When they just escaped they thought it would have been too obvious that Dream was staying with Techno and, should anyone go after him, would look there first.

Instead Dream built himself his own little home a bit away from the main land of the SMP. To Techno’s surprise it was an actual house made of wood and stone, with windows, doors and even a nice roof. Dream felt comfortable and safe in there, so Techno let him live there and went there almost every day in the morning to do something with the man.

Just like he did in that moment, sat on Carl he rode to the hidden home of the man, ready for some sparing and maybe some therapy in between. When he arrived he left Carl on his own, the horse usually didn’t leave without his owner and just ate some grass while waiting.

Techno stepped up to the door, Dream grew roses in his front yawn, they were his favourite flowers. As always he knocked on the door before just entering, it was their usual routine. Usually Dream would be already awake and either eating or cleaning his weapons or armor. However, this day he seemed to still be in bed, cause he was not in his usual spots.

Walking up the quartz steps he ended up in a big open room with a big bed at the wall. And the bed was empty, so it meant that Dream was already awake. It was then that Techno started to feel panic rising in him, cause usually when Dream wasn’t inside the house he either already told Techno beforehand or left a note at the entrance.

But there had been no note, and Techno had checked before coming upstairs. The half pigling walked up to the windows that showed the garden, eyes widening when he saw a figure in a green jacket laying in the grass.

Techno rushed down the stairs and out of the backdoor, towards Dream who seemed to be unconscious. He fell to his knees and turned the man around in his arms, only to immediately jump away again.

This man couldn’t be Dream, there were now scars on his face and now white streak in his hair. He looked soft with freckles all over his cheek and nose, he looked so healthy and put together, yet he wore Dream’s face. The man was wearing a black shirt with a knitted green, way too big cardigan over it that had one white and one black stripe going along the hem. In his curly hair were hair clips, one looked like a crown, one like Dream’s mask and another one looked like a rose.

This had to be Dream, but how could he change like that within a night?!

Suddenly Dream started moving, groaning lightly and moving his hands up to rub his eyes with them. Techno swallowed heavily, his piglin ears wiggling lightly to check for any noise the man made. When he also had Dream’s voice, then there was no doubt. “….Dream?” He spoke up, carefully, not wanting to scare the man away.

Slowly the man opened his eyes and it was almost like emeralds were staring back at Techno, wide and shiny. Healthy, like they had never seen any harm.

“...Techno?” The man – with the voice of Dream – mumbled out, carefully sitting up and staring up at the man in front of him. “...Is that really you?”

“...Dream?” Techno asked back, confusion all over his face. So it was his boyfriend, but why did he look like that? And why did he look at Techno like a second head had grown on his shoulder? “What… are you okay, man?”

“Oh, ehm…” Dream looked around, frowning lightly before looking down at his hands and then back up. Techno held out his hand to help the blond up, who happily accepted. “Yeah, it’s just… you look so different. What happened to you?”

Pink brows shot up as Techno heard that, wondering what the man meant. “I look different? Bruh, have you looked at yourself?” When Dream just tilted his head, Techno stepped closer, holding some of the curls in his hand. “You look healthier and all your scars are gone. How did you do that?”

“M-My scars?” A deep blush spread over Dream’s face as Techno kept playing with his hair. By now the man was used to this gesture and just rarely blushed from any form of intimacy between them. “What scars are you talking about…?”

“Those usually over your face, like the one over your nose,” Techno mumbled, leaning closer. “Or the one right at your chin,” his fingers wrapped around Dream’s chin, making him look up. “Or the one at the corner of your mouth.” When Techno placed a soft kiss at the spot he had kissed a thousand times already, Dream squeaked loudly and stepped away, blushing everywhere.

“Wha-What are you ta-talking about!” Stammered the man who almost looked like a tomato by now. “I-I never had any scars! And why are you kissing me?!”

“...okay something is wrong,” Techno spat, almost growling it out, a deep frown on his face. “I guess with lots of really good healing potions you could somehow change your looks that much, but forgetting that we’re boyfriends? Really?”

“Boyfriends?!” Screeched Dream in a high pitched voice, hiding his face behind his hands. “What is going on here?!” Then he pulled his hands away, looking determined at the pinket. “And why do you have scars?! And you have a beard! You never had one!”

“I always have a beard! It makes me look more badass!”

“It makes you look like some viking who’s gonna slander thousand of people and invade cities!”

“….well.”

“Techno!”

“You just kinda described what used to be my hobby!”

“No!” Dream screamed, pulling at his cardigan, “You’re a nice potato farmer! And we’re all friends and only need armor when monsters are around! What is going on?!”

“I’d like to know that as well…” Mumbled Techno under his breath, watching as the man in front of him tried to calm down. “We should go talk to Philza, maybe he know something.” Dream sniffed and nodded at the proposal, walking up to Techno and following him.

With the help of Carl it didn’t take long ton return to Techno’s hut, meanwhile Dream kept looking around in confusion. It was like he had never seen the server like it had been then. When they arrived they both got off the horse, Techno immediately calling for Philza.

The man came running out of his hut, weapon raised but calmed down when he noticed it wasn’t an attack. “Mate, you scared me,” Philza said with a deep sigh, letting his weapons disappear in his inventory.

Dream tilted his head and furrowed his brows, Philza doing the same once he noticed the difference in the man. “Philza..?” The blond glanced to Techno before he nodded in confirmation. “But… where are your wings?”

Both Techno and Philza froze at the question. “Dream!” Techno scolded, turning to the man. “It’s not nice saying this!”

“No, mate, it’s fine,” Philza interrupted, walking closer to Dream, “Dream, what do you all remember?”

“Well,” Dream swallowed heavily, glancing between the two men. “Yesterday was a normal day, I was building some extras to my house with George and Sapnap. You, Techno and Wilbur were working on some new farm, to help us all enchant out stuff faster and better.“ Techno’s frown only deepened as he listened to the man. “Later both Tommy and Tubbo came to visit me, we wanted to explore some new cave, but it was already so late, that I sent them back home. We wanted to go there today but… for some reason I woke up in that garden…”

“Tommy…?” Philza echoed silently, frowning just as much as Techno. He walked around Dream, making the man nervous. “You and Tommy are friends?” Dream nodded at that, glancing over his shoulder at Philza. “And what about you and Quackity? Awesamdude?”

At those names Techno wanted to take Dream in his arms, usually the man reacted heavily to them, in a negative way. Either freezing up and getting overwhelmed by bad memories or getting into fight or flight instincts. Which meant he either pulled a weapon or ran to hide somewhere dark and narrow, like Techno’s closet.

But now Dream didn’t seem to react at all, he just looked even more confused than usual. “They’re my friends, obviously! When we all arrived at the server we just became friends and all live close to each other, what is it with you two?”

Philza took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. “I’ll go ask her, you try and fill him in on what is going on here on our version of the server.” Techno nodded and watched Philza run off into his house to get in contact with his wife.

Meanwhile he turned to Dream and sighed. “Okay listen, I’ll roughly tell you everything you need to know about our server here, alright?” Dream nodded and so they talked. After a while, and Dream looking a bit green around the nose, they got inside where he gave the blond some water. They kept talking and Techno noticed some mannerism that his Dream also had.

Like fidgeting with his hands, clicking his tongue when he didn’t know what to say or asking for some eyes to chew on. All of this was just like his Dream and he felt that it was one Dream, a Dream who belonged to Technoblade, he just wasn’t the right Technoblade.

“You mean… Your Dream is… covered in scars and just really traumatised..?” Techno nodded and a light blush came over Dream’s face, green eyes looking down at his hands. “And you and him are… you know…?”

“Ehm,” Techno cleared his throat, a soft blush now also on his face. “Together, in a romantic way, yeah.”

“That’s really sweet,” mumbled Dream, a gentle smile on his lips. He made eye contact with Technoblade. “I always had a crush on you, or, well, the version of you I know… Hearing that you and me are together here is kinda reassuring.”

Techno snorted and went to say something else but Philza rushed in, looking at the two a bit weird. He shook his head and went to explain. “This Dream is not our Dream.”

“Wow, who would have thought,” Techno said ironically, only shrugging when Philza weakly glared at him. “I was told that you’re from another version of our server, one where everything was reset and you all live in peace.”

“So the complete opposite to us,” Techno snorted out, shaking his head a bit as he leaned back. “How do we get him back?”

“He should be back within the day. And it’s possible that our Dream is where you should be right now,” Philza looked at Dream who nodded lightly, looking down at his glass and pick out another ice cube to chew on.

“Wait,” Techno suddenly froze before looking at Philza with wide eyes. “You mean my violent boyfriend who is ready to kill a lot of people in sight is there right now? With Quackity and Awesamdude who are usually friends with him?”

Philza opened his mouth but didn’t get a word out, his mouth just forming an ‘o’ shape.

“He’s gonna kill them!” Dream called out, worry obvious in his voice. “Quackity and Awesamdude are good friends of mine, they’re in danger!”

Techno huffed out, it was the truth, Dream could kill all of them, but there was a bit of hope. “Maybe he’s gonna react in another way, running away and hiding is pretty likely for him, especially when something is overwhelming. And maybe he didn’t have his weapons with him either, when he was asleep then they probably had put them down.”

Techno didn’t really care if Dream would kill anyone on that other version of their server. What he cared about was Dream himself, the man was all alone on a server full with people he hated. Imagining Dream all alone and scared without Technoblade, probably confused as he couldn’t really ask someone for help there.

“Maybe my Technoblade found him,” Dream spoke up, looking at Techno. “Maybe he is with him right now and they figure it out as well, it’s a possibility, right?”

“Right…” Philza mumbled, fingers at his chin. “Right now we can’t do anything, we’ll find out once you guys are back to where you belong. Until then we can only wait and hope for the best outcome.”

The other two nodded and Dream glanced at Techno, Philza left them alone, not really wanting to spent time with some random Dream. “And you really love Dream? Saved him from the prison and all?”

Techno chuckled lightly, it was funny talking to a version of Dream who was so obviously in love with another him but not in a relationship with him, yet. “I do,” admitted the half piglin, “we fit together quiet well, hate the same people and all. I’d break him out of this hellhole over and over again, even when it would kill me.”

Dream smiled at him before squirming around, getting closer to Techno. The smile vanished and was replaced with a saddened look, one he hated on Dream’s face, unimportant which Dream. “...Why did he turn out like that? Like the villain of the server?”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Techno immediately defended his partner, wrapping an arm around Dream. It felt familiar and yet like he was holding a stranger close. “There were lots of bad people on the server who turned him into who he was. It was inevitable for him to get this back and he did it cause he thought it was the right thing to do.”

A hum came from next to him and Dream snuggled closer, closing his eyes. “I hope everything will return to normal soon, I miss my own Technoblade.” Techno chuckled in understanding, leaning his head on Dream’s. He really hoped that Dream was okay and not in any danger.

Throughout the day Techno and Dream never separated, they fed the dogs together and Dream met Steve. Later Techno taught him how to make potions and gave him some training in combat. He never thought he’d say this but this version of Dream was shitty, barely able to hold up an axe and impossible to shoot an arrow.

The serve he must have come from really had to be peaceful if Dream didn’t know how to handle weapons. He also seemed to love all animals and told Techno about his own server, how he had a farm filled with animals, including a white horse called Spirit. Techno didn’t have it in him to explain that Spirit existed here at some point, too. It would just hurt the poor man and he didn’t want to ruin him with any pain.

It got later and soon the sun and moon were out, shining in the dark sky. They didn’t know when the exchange would, hopefully, happen, so they decided to go to sleep instead. Dream didn’t want to return to the house, too scared that something could happen while he was alone, so he slept over.

Out of habit Techno allowed Dream to sleep in his bed with him, even though it was a bit awkward. At least for the half piglin, Dream soon started talking, sitting next to the laying Techno. “You know,” he started, blushing again, “I am still Dream.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“And you and him are in a happy relationship, right?”

“Yeah…?”

“And I don’t know if my Technoblade is ever gonna… return my feelings, so…” He glanced over at Techno again, blush even deeper than before. Slowly he leaned down, laying atop of the pinket. Techno’s hands automatically found his waist, squeezing lightly.

“You think so?” he mumbled to the blond, who closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Before their lips could meet, Techno pressed his hand against Dream’s soft lips, smiling at him. “Maybe it’s time for you to find out.”

Dream pulled away with big eyes, mouth slightly opened. “Kissing me won’t feel right, the only Dream I ever wanna kiss is my Dream, you understand?” The blond looked down at those words, nodding lightly.

He eventually pulled back, snuggling against Techno anyway, cuddles were fine. “What when my version of you doesn’t love me?” Dream whispered, as if he was scared to hear the man’s opinion on it.

Technoblade could just snort at it, thinking it was ridiculous. “I don’t think that in all the version of me, that there’s even a single one who couldn’t love Dream.” He smiled down at the man who looked at him in awe, before a bright smile grew on his face.

“Thanks, Techno,” he said, closing his eyes, “and goodbye,” no more words were spoke that night. Technoblade fell into a peaceful sleep, holding Dream close as encouragement for his future.

The next day he got woken up by someone body slamming him, both falling on the ground. Out of pure reaction he got his sword, ready to fight, only to see Dream on top of him. And not any Dream, not, it was his Dream. “Dre-”

“Did you kiss him?!” The blond shouted, straddling the man under him, hands on his chest and face in a furrow. Dream would never admit it, but Techno could swore he saw tears in his eyes.

“What…?” Techno just mumbled out, confused.

Dream rolled his eyes, leaning down closer to his partner, baring his teeth. “Did you kiss him?!”

“Who?!”

“The other Dream!” Accused the blond, as if it was obvious. “The soft, perfect version of me! The one who isn’t completely fucked up and scarless! With no flaws and just a perfect person, someone everyone would love!” Did you-” Dream got cut off when arms wrapped around him and pulled him close, right against Technoblade’s lips.

The blond melted into the kiss as a tear eventually did escape, running down his cheek and over their lips. Techno licked it away, a hand coming up to stroke Dream’s cheek, the man leaned in. “I didn’t,” whispered Techno, rubbing his nose against Dream’s. “I could never.”

“But… he’s so perfect..” protested Dream silently, looking into red eyes.

“No for me,” assured the piglin, kissing the corner of Dream’s lips. “The only one who fits perfectly by my side is you. That loser couldn’t even hold a weapon properly and he didn’t have scars that told everyone how strong he was.” Dream giggled at that, hands wandering over his body and snuggled his face into the crook of Techno’s neck. “I missed you,” admitted the pinket.

“I missed you, too,” answered Dream, inhaling Techno’s scent deeply. “It was so scary… All those people I despise were so… nice. When they approached me I ran away and right into that version of you.” He pulled away to look down at his lover. “That Technoblade has shorter hair than you and wore an overall.”

Techno chuckled at that. “Did I look sexy in them?”

“Ew, no,” Dream wrinkled his nose, a smile now on his lips. “You looked like some anime character, not even a beard or anything.” At those words both laughed loudly, Techno pulling Dream back into a kiss, this one deeper, lustful.

He was happy to have his Dream back and hoped for the other version of him, that he’d find the courage to talk to his Technoblade. Because he hadn’t lied, there was no Technoblade who couldn’t fall in love with their version of Dream.

#dreamnoblade #dnb #citrus dnb week #citrus writes #Yeah I know it's already the 8. for me #I havent even written day 7 yet #so much private stuff #hopefully will piost day 7 within the week #sorry about that

[icaroid]

nemo icaroid's creative works masterpost

hey all, I've been updating my website when I can with more and more of my writing, so I figured I would make a big post with where to find all my different works!

nemoralcultrix.neocities.org - my website, hand-coded & based in bootstrap. updated most frequently, has links out to itch.io and some substack posts.

talesfromfaerieland.neocities.org - my secondary site, with audio storytelling & writing for all ages. home of nemo storytime!

nemoralcultrix.itch.io - on itch, I've uploaded a few new and old short games, based in twine and bitsy. also available for $1+ there are pdfs of my longer chapbooks, meditations on mold, & other matters and corpse poems: a graveyard.

nemoralcultrix.substack.com - there's not much on my substack, and it is likely I'll be retiring it or making it into a monthly updates newsletter when I have a setup for hosting audio on my site. right now, there is where you can listen to Anna Will Be Orpheus, a Mabel podcast fan minisode. also up there is an abbreviated version of my New Touch paper; I recommend reading the full version on my website, if you have the time. due to substack being pieces of shit, has been deleted! I'll work on getting an updated link to Anna Will Be Orpheus on the website at some point, but probs won't reupload the shortened New Touch paper since the big one's on my site already.

nemoralcultrix.bigcartel.com - right now, the only thing on my bigcartel store is the physical edition of The Mycologist's Wife. there might be further updates, with editions of the two itch.io chapbooks available as well.

ko-fi.com/nemoralcultrix - if you want to throw money for a tea or coffee my way!

patreon.com/nemoralcultrix - if you'd like to become a regular patron of my work!

twitch.tv/nemoralcultrix - I stream my dnd game, Chthon - The Beast's Age, whenever we meet! I also have plans to do an smp playthrough of Drehmal 2.2 once that releases!

for those more into the writing professional sphere, I'm on twitter and instagram @.nemoralcultrix as well, although I'm not very active.

#writing post #sunsongs #knyghtblogging

[aroaceacacia]

it was my birthday on the 5th and also it's the holiday season so in lieu of gifts please watch lifesteal smp videos.

just a few videos I recommend:

- two guys destroy the entire end before the end fight (+ bonus banter)

- flying in survival minecraft

- a guy becomes god and torments his friends

- the only lifesteal video which genuinely felt like a horror movie to me

- building a retirement home

- there is no trap

- fallen kingdom by captainsparklez and tryhardninja

#bearvocalizations #lifesteal smp #mcyt #mcytblr