#readmore cut bc it got long lmao

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

#asks #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #marcille donato #manga panel analysis #this is probably riddled with typos sorry #readmore cut bc it got long lmao #i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me #bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling. #the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her #the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc. #otherwise it just.. #literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all #the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level #she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are #she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments #its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up #but who doesn't yknow #i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there #the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards #it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around #she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people #i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but #dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right. #a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all #that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment #the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are #always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home #and dungeon meshi gets that. #edit: cleaned it up a little

[autisticaradiamegido]

Hey since your requests are open, could you maybe draw Hal? Doing anything, I don't really care what (only if you want)

day 96

YES i actually got 2 thinking about hal today thanks to this post (and my tags even passed peer review yippee thank u) ANYWAY. in addition to all of that. I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT he and aradia would be friends.

ok i wrote all this out and it got long and kinda rambly bc im tired so im putting it under a cut lmao HALRADIA FRIENDSHIP RANT IN THE READMORE

i think there would be.... maybe a little tension given that aradia eventually ended up in Her Own Flesh And Blood Body and hal would presumably not have that option?

but overall i think after the way her friends treated her as a robot, and the experience of going from experiencing life as a living breathing organic person to a bodiless entity to HAVING a body but that body not being the same as the one you remember.... idk! it's like EXTREMELY EXTREMELY SPECIFIC AND MORE THAN A LITTLE TRAUMATIC and they could share it with each other!! how fucking lovely is that.

not to mention they both kind of have a history with equius?? (assuming this is post arquiusprite in some way. i certainly have an extremely self-indulgent "everyone lives" au for this scenario where they're able to safely separate into their pre-sprite components and then hal and aradia become buds.)

REGARDLESS i think it would be interesting for hal (who has ostensibly nothing but positive shit to say about his connection to equius) and aradia (who has some truly fucked things to say about her experiences with equius) to Talk Through All That.

not 2 mention the parallels that can be drawn between dirk/hal's perception of their relationship with jake being this kind of... Manipulative Pining Weirdness, and aradia being on the other side of somebody else's Manipulative Pining Weirdness and sharing that perspective without even knowing about all of that dirkjake backstory OUGH im tellin u it is all a very complex and wonderful scenario to consider and like, im not even much of an alpha kid aficionado tbh. hal experts chime in on the comments i know youre out there and i wanna hear your takes.

#day 96 #year 5 #aradia megido #lil hal #homestuck #im not kidding btw HAL ENJOYERS WHAT IS THE VIBE HERE #also to clarify i think hal's confusion is largely due to the. Hey How Did You Get A Flesh Body factor more than anything #aradia's situation is uhhhhh Strange

[nightwardenminthara]

stature, stillness, formal — grant!

thank you!!

stature: What's your OC's body type? How tall are they? Do they wear clothing to accentuate their look or do they try to mask it?

Grant's body changes throughout the course of Dragon Age 2, as time passes and his circumstances change. He was always kind of lanky and lean as a teen, food was never in abundance in the Hawke household and he burned through it fast. Into the prologue, he's started to fill out now in his mid-20s but life is rough in Lowtown, they're struggling just to get by. It's not until moving to Hightown that he's really able to finally, consistently, have enough to eat. And thus, he puts on some weight. And then post Leandra's death, he takes to drinking in excess and puts on a lot more weight.

And even after getting some of his drinking under control, I think the weight stays, maybe fluctuates a bit. It is so nice to have the means to be well-fed, to not have to work himself to exhaustion daily. He's not going to deprive himself.

Lol all that to say, he is tall, somewhere around 6'0-6'2. He puts on muscle easily, probably from a lifetime of doing hard labor either in Lothering or when picking up odd jobs with Malcolm. Lots of muscle memory there. But he's also not a bodybuilder lol, he has a very functional physique and as he puts on weight, he has a pronounced gut, soft thighs, etc.

He isn't insecure about it really, makes no effort to mask it with his clothing. Grant is a tall, large man and sometimes that works to his advantage, especially around Kirkwall. He's not particularly vain about his appearance in general.

rest under readmore bc this got wordy

stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?

Hmm... Grant isn't particularly fidgety but he does have a few tics. A lot of fucking with his beard, rubbing his chin, scratching his cheek, etc.

Drumming of fingernails on a table at the Hanged Man, impatiently twisting a ring around his finger, crossing his arms across his chest.

Stretching out his neck and shoulders would probably be his companion idle animation, in an... I slept poorly and my back is stiff kinda way.

In private, it's not uncommon for him to let a flame dance across his palms while he's thinking. It's also not uncommon for him to summon little bursts of fire when he's in private and angrily fuming over something or other, which he is very aware is a bad habit lmao.

He mostly wears loose, comfortable clothing. Something made to keep out the cold without much resistance to movement. At home, in Hightown, he likes loose silk finery.

formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?

Is it a copout to say the MotA formalwear is pretty fitting lolll

I honestly think he does not think much about fashion, like he would probably just let someone else pick for him and probably did have a tailor or someone choose the cut and color of the fabric. He does care about freedom of movement. But as long as it's not overly stiff, he can manage.

Dressing up like that is a rare occasion (he wishes it was even rarer bc damn does he hate interacting with nobility)

Okay this is very long lol but thank you, I love talking about Hawke <3

#ch: grant hawke #ask game #answered

[sick-ada]

OKAY SECOND PART (I HIT THE CHARACTER LIMIT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A LIMIT ON TUMBLR

again, big long text under the readmore

we were on proto werent we yeah

proto gets along with CB and Bubbles a lot better than with Flora, since cb and bubbles actually follow their orders and plans, even before theyre promoted to captain. flora obeys them even less after theyre promoted, for the record

this is very obviously because theyre traumatised child soldiers who were conditioned by both the octarian military and the metro where you explode if you dont follow instructions, but proto manages to delude themselves into thinking it's bc the twins respect their leadership

the twins completely stop obeying them after splatoon 3. granted, they leave the NSS after splat3, but by that point flora and bola have managed to get them out of the "you gotta obey authority figures Or Else" mentality

also because uh. the twins got the rest of their mem cakes back LMAO they remember what proto and the squid sisters set in motion and are NOT happy. theyd be willing to forgive if they had apologised rather than hiding it and hoping the twins wouldnt find out but they didnt sooooo

bola HATES proto so goddamn much. theyve met in person maybe thrice. the first time was when octo expansion had just finished and the way proto was talking to these kids bola's age like they were soldiers rubbed them the wrong way. the second time, proto came across bola while they were stealing something and called the cops on them. the third time was when they came back from alterna and visited flora in the hospital. bola had to be physically restrained to stop them trying to bite out protos jugular. they got one good sucker-punch in at least

NEXT IS PLUTO (THEY/THEM, NEO 3) BUT I'M NOT SUPER CERTAIN ABOUT THESE HEADCANONS SO THEYRE SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Pluto's "Lil' Buddy" is a Horrorboros called Leviathan's Flight over Verdant Pastures (she/her), or levi for short

(idk if that salmonid name makes sense, salmonid naming and rainworld iterator naming have blended together in my mind and i cannot separate them)

theyre actually older than proto! proto is 24 in splat3 and pluto is 27. proto doesnt know this because i think it should be a recurring character flaw that proto just randomly assumes people's ages and doesnt ask ever.

pluto straight up doesn't care about the NSS or proto's commands. they came down into the crater to scavenge, attacked octavio cause they wanted to tear apart and sell his mech, and is basically motivated by the same "i want the treasure" mindset as Deep Cut

unlike deep cut, they have a horrorboros as a partner. they dont fight deep cut so much as they launch booyah bombs until they yield

it's splatlands culture to fight people, shows that you respect them enough to consider them a threat, but also asserts that you're stronger than them and could kick their ass

they are Very offended when the NSS just start USING the treasure that THEY earned, especially when it gets so damaged by the fuzzy ooze that it's basically unsaleable. theres a dramatic moment of proto being like "why the hell are you mad we literally got this to save gramps" and pluto being like "WE??? kid you didnt do shit and i dont care about your grandpa. fuck off and let me do my thing"

the fight with grizz is VERY fast. if smallfry gets that big, what do you think happens to a horrorboros? the moon is permanently coated in salmonid-ink in a suspiciously booyah bomb shaped pattern. they take all the most valuable bits of the rocket to sell and dont even go back down to alterna

as far as they're concerned, they were never a member of the NSS, never wanted to be, and owe nothing to these presumptious assholes. theyve got better things to do than argue with some spoiled inkopolis kids

in this version of canon, deep cut respect pluto and levi (the ones who showed respect by fighting them for the treasure) over the NSS (the ones who stole the treasure for their own purposes without fighting or even issuing a challenge), so they decide that pluto and levi are their bosses instead

pluto groans when they find out. levi thinks it's hilarious

oh yeah i need actual context for pluto and levi not just redescribing the splat3 campaign

theyre both rogues, deliberately unaffiliated with any groups (shoals? schools?) of salmonids or any particular inkfish city. they were raised together with salmonids but levi didnt see any particular honour or value in getting killed and eaten so pluto suggested running away together

they make a living by scavenging in the splatlands and selling to people on the outskirts of splatsville which, in this canon, is a hell of a lot more chaotic than in-game

deep cut also have a lot more actual authority than "the idol group who announces the map changes" in this canon, which pluto is not above using to get them and levi unrestricted access in and out of the city. having minions has some benefits, they guess

idk if theyre ever gonna meet the leftovers squad. i honestly dont know if pluto would care about a random group of inkopolis teens unless i made some plot reason for them to. idk

ANYWAY THATS ALL OF THEM. FOR NOW

#splatoon #cicada screaming #splatoon oc #oc: pluto #oc: proto #oc: levi #oc: cb 808 #oc: bubbles #oc: flora #oc: bola #long post

[jefferythejelly]

debated even doing this bc i feel like i am Barely a fic writer but i got tagged by 2 people (thank u @negativepeanuthoarder and @rutadales) so i am going to be brave

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs

couple of brief notes before i give u the list:

i have far too many wips (bc i never finish anything adsfjbdsa) so for simplicity's sake and to cut out ones that are kinda nothingburger this technically isnt All the files in my wip folder

almost all of these are nsfw in some way and several of them deal with omegaverse/mpreg/various other weird kinks. sorry if that is not ur cup of tea when it comes to fanfiction but you have been warned👍

anyways list under the readmore bc theres 17 of them so it got a little long lmao

sap unplanned pregnancy dnn to dnkn

karl gets abducted by aliens yay

subnap (that title might be a little misleading im ngl it kind of got away from me. also this is one of the oldest in there i started it may 2022 adsfjbadskjf)

funz pregnancy slash kidfic brainrot (this one is less of a fic in progress and more of a series of brainrot bullet points. but i like it a lot its very self indulgent)

dogboy foolish

funz body worship nonsense

ahaha yeahhhhh (this one is one of the few where the title is not descriptive at all. wildcard)

funz empty

yep its funz time

punznap pog

omega punz

funz new years kiss

karlnap maid outfit

wrow (another wildcard)

cdrunz eggs

karlnap chapstick

mr beast hide and seek but im in heat (not clickbait)

tagging @tinynap and anyone else reading this who wants to talk about their wips (bc i am at a loss for people to tag who have not already been tagged by a different mutual asdfbsk)

#if this seems like a lot of wips i also have a huge planning doc of ideas/brainrots that i just havent written out #idek how many are in there its A Lot tho #i have so many ideas and no motivation to write them fully they just live in my mind and my harddrive #oh god wait this isnt even counting all the abandoned d.smp wips that are on my phone Jesus #i might still talk about some of those one day but a lot of them are kinda meh or were based off of outdated lore/headcanons so idk #wip game #not sfw #<- not really but its mentioned and probably most of the asks i answer abt this (if i get any) are gonna be marked mature so akfdsjbask #also reading thru these and realizing theres a lot of f.unz lmao #listen there was a period of time (slightly past now) where i was obsessed with them but was finding barely any good fics with the tropes i #wanted. and i had to take matters into my own hands

[dishsaop]

music recs bls. preferably nothin by straight men but based on ur entire vibe i dont think i have to worry abt that lol

ok firstly, please PLEASE listen to G.L.O.S.S., they only have one album but it FUCKS. (also i don't know Dyke Drama as well but its Sadie Switchblade from G.L.O.S.S.' solo work and the album I bought was really good) (EDITED TO ADD A READMORE BC HOLY SHIT)

also, basic queer punk hours here but Against Me! is always, always worth it. laura jane grace my hero and beloved

Neighborhood Brats is a female fronted punk band. Actually, Dirt Cult Records has a number of pretty cool artists - I can't speak to all their gender/sexualities but their music is good. Dan Padilla (the band not the man lmao), Needles//Pins, Dead Years, Postage and, Feral Trash. I can't remember if Dear Landlord and Shallow Cuts are with Dirt Cult (i dont THINK so) but I do know they overlap with Dan Padilla.

Fangbanger is a really cool pop-ish punk band, and I haven't been into real pop punk in a long time but I really like them. Troll 2 is kind of folk punk, and by the tone of this ask I think you'd like them. i have a few Propoghandi songs i like (thrash punk), if you like ska you like Streetlight Manifesto. The Muslims and Fea my roommate got me into and both are really cool punk bands - the muslims is a queer poc crunchy punk band and fea is a san antonio based latina all female band. Ramshackle Glory is an anarchist punk band. GOGOL BORDELLO HOW COULD I FORGET YOU romani punk band from lower east side manhattan. i had a Sainte Catherine's cd on repeat for like 4 months straight when i was a teenager and honestly i was so valid for that.

and of course theres always the ramones, the replacements, husker du, the minutemen, the dead kennedys, black flag, the menzingers, etc.

Leaving punk, I know I just commented on a post about basic music but i really do like Florence + The Machine. Rip. The Amazing Devil is a bit, like, well the dude from the Witcher is in it so that says something but sometimes I want a song I can soulfully and really awfully sing along to. My roommate got me into Gloryhammer, so like, if you want weird ass concept metal albums, there u go. i recently remembered Luca Turilli (also known as Rhapsody and Luca Turilli's Rhapsody) exists, i was OBSESSED with these metal songs as a kid. oingo boingo is weird. i also really like Trocadero (shut up shut upppp i know its the red vs blue band but they do have cool music let me live). be steadwell and Grace Petrie are very queer, if thats what youre after. Palehound is kinda indie but some of thier songs get stuck in my head really easily. Ratatat is an electronic band that fits nothing else in this post but. a vibe. i had an Unwoman phase as a kid after that Night Vale Weather.

some single songs i really like but know less about the artist, of scattered genres: Who Wears The Pants?? by Soko, My Gap Feels Weird by Superchunk, Numbers (I Can Only Count To Four) by Psychostick (hehehe), For an Old Kentucky Anarchist by The Orphans, Sober Intentions by Apes of the State, Coffee God and Cigarettes by Mischief Brew, I'm Against the Government by Defiance Ohio, You're Not The Only Bear I Fisted by Schmekel, Butch In The Streets by Tribe 8, Deep Love by Lady Lamb, Dark Days by Pup, Racing Stripes by Aesop Rock, Old Number Seven by The Devil Makes Three, I'm So Sick by Flyleaf, I Don't Wanna Be Funny Anymore by Lucy Dacus, Lake Pontchartrain by Ludo, Devil's Point by Wicked Shallows, TKO by Le Tigre, Transvestites Can Be Cannibals Too by Harley Poe, Providence by Poor Man's Poison, and Wildflowers by Gouge Away.

this was ABSOLUTELY more than you asked for but i thought about music and got really excited, im sorry. also again i dont know how many of these artists are cishet men but also like, i like them and IM neither cis nor het so

#m text #i could tag all these bands. im not going to.

[jonbinary]

i have absolutely no conception of my voice dropping/changing except in the realm of my singing range bc i sing more than i talk LMAO i spend a large amount of my time alone (home alone/driving long distances) and i have the music autism so you can guess what that leads to

little post abt hrt and singing under the cut that got a lil longer than i thot it would but when it comes to music i cant shut up so putting it under a readmore :]

pre-transition i had a similar vocal range to jessica law (of mechanisms/tma/solo fame). i couldnt reach all her high notes since im nowhere near professionally trained but for the purposes of This thats about what i could hit. i also could get my voice into a lower register if i focused (think a very strained version of danny elfman in oingo boingo).

over the past like. 2-3 months? ive found my voice naturally settles down into that lower register and i have to mentally drag myself up which is entirely the opposite of what i used to do lol. and i'd never realized how damn HIGH my favorite artists sing, especially in screamo/metalcore bands. i can only sing black veil brides without thinking too hard LOL. mr spencer 'ice nine kills' charnas lower your damn voice!!!!!!!!

nowadays my range is a lot closer to the lead from that handsome devil (still INSANE to me but i used to not be able to sing too much of them without my throat hurting and now its just naturally where my voice lands) or, like i said previously, andy biersack bvb ... T is a hell of a drug whooooo !!!!!

(side note my voice cracks and hurts hardcore if i try to sing britney but i do it bc i love her god bless)

#sorry not to go ND mode #these are DEF not exact comparisons and i am NOT professionally trained or anything i have no idea what im talkin abt i could be totally #wrong but this is just how i perceive this lol #orion.txt #orion's T tag #special interest tag

[alivegirlmari]

hii it's the same anon from rose's blog hopping over here because your tags on that mari post are so. yeah. it IS an inevitable car crash she is creating that which destroys her BECAUSE she's so scared it's so!!!! and YESSS there's a REASON why there are only two people she regularly like. makes fun of or snaps at and it's because everyone else will bite back in some way, because they know and she knows that she IS so close to the bottom of that totem pole. it's something she does out of social survival but it's both obvious enough to everyone where her position in the group is that it's kind of futile, and it pisses enough people off that it's probably dooming her further. thank you fellow mari warrior for your service she's so funny but if i think about her too long she makes me sad

HIIII anon hiii sorry for answering this late but please know you can ALWAYS hop into my inbox bc the mari stans need to stick together. it’s hard out here for us AND our girl 💔 this is long as hell so putting it under a readmore :-)

anyways ur last line is soo real. mari reminds me so much of jackie in the sense that they’re literally just sad teen girls!! yes ofc everyone else is too but bc neither really contribute majorly (in both the literal sense of contributing to the group the way nat-as-hunter does, and in the driving the plot sense the way lottie and tai do), their characters feel so much more grounded and real. bc without the possession and dreams and sleepwalking and relationship drama, everything's stripped away and you're just left with a scared teenage girl at the centre, desperate to survive. but mari lives when jackie doesn't bc mari does adapt!! mari moves with the status quo, and mari sides with power. and yet! she doesn't have that power herself! she's shielded by it at times, but she's not holding the shield itself, so ofc it can always be used against her. which is the whole point! nothing she does is enough to save her! mari, to me, feels like a character who barely scrapes by, if that makes sense? or like, a character who is at least never close to being on top. a real 'i submitted the assignment five mins before it was due' beat. the 'i made the cut off, made it into the next round, but ranked in last place' special. aka: she's doomed! she's a car-crash girl!

and sooo true about the futility of snapping at the only two people she can...like who is it helping/hurting, exactly? crystal & misty didn't really give a fuck because they were *secure* in themselves (see: not minding the taste of snackie, wanting to make snackie broth, generally being unapologetic), and also had each other. mari has akilah, which i don't think is enough (esp now that akilah's integrating herself into things, and has been given a reason to get home lol), and mari isn't secure! she's defensive when ben questions the cannibalism, she makes awkward jokes about it, she shot down the broth idea, she clings to whoever has power even when it seems like a sinking ship (insisting on the competition rules when there was a moose to save), she desperately needs a leader. as you said, being mean to crusty - while #valid - is like, 'oh look, i'm not your number one target, look at these two losers, i've got power and status over you two, this makes me (feel) safe'. but mari IS the loser in everyone else but crusty's stories lmao! all she's doing is just making that clearer!! it's not only futile but also like, incredibly short-sighted: what does she think would happen if crystal and misty just stopped existing? who'd be on the bottom then?

so yeah i'm v v v excited to see her maybe get even more bitchy now that crystal's gone, i think (hope) it'll shake her. she's operating on a whole different dimension of fear lmaooo, she's gonna be scared for normal reasons (someone is missing/dead) AND bc she's another notch lower on the totem pole now!! and she'll know it!! the literal only target she has left is misty, who is a) about to be useful and deliver a baby, and b) potentially at her most fragile (not emotionally, just in terms of looking suspicious & her role in the group being less secure bc of it) in the wake of crystal dying. so i wonder how that'll effect their three seconds of shared screentime dskdkfdsdfmf. i think they're really similar honestly, in terms of understanding the power of power, control, status. can a weirdgirl and a hatergirl ever be friends? not in this cabin unfortunately </3 (idk if you've seen it but misty's actress was like 'yeah if crystal hadn't befriended her she probs would've ended up snapping mari's neck' lmao)

idek if this all makes sense im running on 5hrs of sleep but feel free to message me anything about mari nolastname or anyone/anything else whenever!!! ty for sending this ask!!!!

#above all else: i am literally just saying shit. and it is also 4am. #long post #ask #anon #mari

[roguish-gallery]

Kissing prompt? #1? Banecrow? 🥺🥺

BaneCrane + Small kisses littered across the other’s face

Soooooooo I might have gotten... carried away... got it all under the Readmore bc it got long lmao

Jonathan’s concentration was interrupted by the trill of the digital clock on his desk- apathetic to his bleary, half-glazed mental state. Dog-earing his spot, Jonathan slammed his book shut and smacked at the alarm button until it became quiet again. Once again, he had chosen his books over a night’s rest, and he was starting to feel the repercussions.

From outside his study, he could hear the creak and groan of mattress coils as his partner woke up. A few minutes later, Bane gingerly poked his head through the door. Jonathan offered him a tired grin, and motioned him to come inside. Bane slowly made his way to his partner’s desk and pulled up another chair.

“Did you stay up all night, again?” Bane asked, fondly carding his fingers through Jonathan’s disheveled hair. Jonathan said nothing, deciding to close his eyes and to quietly lean into his partner’s touch. Perhaps the sleep deprivation had tamed his aversion to touch, or perhaps he had grown spoiled by Bane’s gentle caresses, but it felt nice.

 “Not all night,” Jonathan assured him, eyes still shut. “I blacked out between two and three.”

“Ah, is that so?”

“Yeessss, so I *technically* got some sleep. No need to scold me.”

 Bane pulled his hands back, crossing his arms.

“You know I don’t scold- you’re an adult, and you are more than capable of making your own decisions… Although,” he added hesitantly, “I am curious as to what’s kept you up these past few days.”

Jonathan slid his book over to Bane, who picked it up with piqued interest. “It’s a rare medical textbook that discusses how hormones in the brain can be stimulated- I’m curious to see if there’s anything I can salvage for my research.”

“Wouldn’t it be more useful to consult a modern textbook?”

“That’s what I thought, but old stuff like this has all kinds of forgotten ideas that, under proper circumstances, might yield some results.”

“I see…” Bane returned the book. “I’m... glad that you found something of interest, I was worried that your seclusion might have been caused by something else.”

Jonathan furrowed his brows. “...What do you mean?”

 The room grew still. Tense. Bane rubbed the back of his neck, and clenched his jaw. “Have I done anything to displease you? You haven’t even come out to eat anything... or talk... or come to bed... and I… You know that I would never hurt you, don’t you? You… can trust me.” He murmured. “I promise.”

Jonathan felt his chest tighten. No one ever cared when he shut himself from everything to study, so he had gotten used to the isolation. No one has ever… missed him. Wanted him. Cared for him. Not like Bane does.

“Oh, Bane… of course I trust you.” He got up, and wrapped his arms around his partner’s waist. “I love spending time with you, and I’m sorry that it seemed like I was avoiding you… I didn’t realize I was neglecting our relationship.”

Jonathan swallowed thickly, taking a small step back. “I’m still new to this.” He gestured awkwardly to the air between himself and Bane. “To us.”

“As am I.” Bane glanced at the floor. “But I want to change that.”

 Jonathan gently cupped his hand against Bane’s cheek. “Let me make it up to you…” His slender fingers skated along his partner’s chiseled, rugged jawline, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. His skin always tasted a bit like sweat and leather, but Jonathan had quickly grown to love it- it was its own kind of drug.

“10:00,” Jonathan announced.

Another kiss. “10:01,”

“What-” Bane gently pulled away. “What are you doing?”

“A kiss” Jonathan explained. “For every minute you slept in bed alone last night.” He lavished Bane’s face with more kisses. Bane’s mouth tugged upward into a broad grin, and his hand gingerly wandered up to press against the small of Jonathan’s back. Within seconds, the two were too busy kissing each other to think about anything else, occasionally pulling apart to laugh. Anywhere within reach was fair game for them both; neck, ears, nose, they were all perfect places to kiss and be kissed. They finally broke off, too breathless to say anything. They were content just to be in each other’s embrace.

 “I haven’t eaten anything in two days,” Jonathan explained. “I’m really out of it.”

“I know. We need to work on that.” replied Bane. “You also haven’t showered, so I’ll make us breakfast while you do that. You *also* still owe me 437 besos- and I will absolutely hold you accountabl- ”

Jonathan cut him off with another kiss. “436, actually. Besides, we have all day, don’t we?”

#jonathan crane #bane #banecrane #banecrow #DC comics #Idk if this is any good I'm just gonna post it and pray for the best bc I always stress over my longer writing and idk if it reads alright #long post #feedback and criticism would be massively appreciated

[teruthecreator]

what really pushed you to write SSOSS? :3 also how did you come up with the idea for the story? :>

UM so the first question actually comes in like, two different parts?? or i guess the two questions sort of overlap (jesus christ readmore i didnt realize i would talk this much LMAO)

so the concept of the on the run/western aspect of it came from a voice call in the friendzone but it was just me, matthew ( @accesscodex ) and corinne ( @maplekeene ). matt was just kind of There while me and corinne were spitballing ideas for aus that would be fun. 

we thought of a western because it just seemed like an interesting route to take the characters in (also very heavily inspired by that one textpost thats like “it werent the whiskey what he were tryin to savor”, which ill get back to later). this was sometime after the episode where the thundermen fight the demons in last hope and escape by pegasi (i Think thats either ep 17 or 18), and i think i mentioned how it would be interesting if they took that moment to like. completely run away from the school. i dont think any of us really thought they would go back and talk to grey??? so we were thinking how the story could go without the school involved anymore, and so that’s where the on the run aspect came from. i then took the two ideas we were discussing (on the run and a western) and crashed them together to be like “hey! what if they ran away and then started new lives out west!” 

it was never an idea i thought was going to be taken that seriously, but matt (as he always is) is an enabler with his art and he started drawing the boys in cowboy designs. This was the moment i knew i wanted to do Something with the idea, since it was hot on everyone’s mind. 

the base idea (basically the first chapter) was based on a comic matthew would then post earlier in the day (on the day that i wrote chapter 1) that was based on the “it werent the whiskey what he were tryin to savor” textpost. i will link the updated comic here ur welcome matthew for not posting the older version bc i know you hate it now. this was the only reason i wanted to write ssoss. because i wanted to hurt matthew and, subsequently, everyone else in the friendzone. 

and, honestly?? ssoss was only supposed to be about 2-3 chapters At Most. i Tried to do it all in one sitting, which is why the first chapter ended up being like 10k words!!! but i was getting burnt out and i got WAYYYYY too in-depth about How they escaped, so i felt having that short of a moment in the actual western part wasn’t enough. so then i announced in the notes of the first chapter that i would likely make a second and maybe a third chapter and have that be it. i had never written a really long fic before and i knew (w my history of unfinished but published wips) that i probably couldnt sustain myself for something longer than 4 chapters. 

now, how the hell did i get here--8 chapters deep and over 100k words in the hole???? i honestly have no idea!!! the rest of the story has come from a number of places. the early plot beats were establishing moments for the characters on their own and together (some things i Did take from me and corinnes dms bc early on we talked abt it A Lot together, he knows what he contributed). i have trouble outlining things bc i feel as if it kills the motivation, so for the most part i would let ideas simmer in my head until i couldnt take it anymore and then write them all down. then, once i ran out of ideas (usually i come into a Writing Day with about 1-3 scenes thought of), i sit and talk aloud to myself about how the chapter should flow from there. one thing about me is i usually have the first and last scene Already decided when i sit down, so the rest is a matter of deciding how we get from point A to point B without making the whole chapter a wash. 

i wish i could say there’s a method to my madness, but i honestly don’t know how i do it. since the moment i decided i wanted this to be way longer, i Have had a sense of the flow of plot. characters arcs i work on throughout writing (in fact i remember the day i had the epiphany about Argo’s epiphany, if yknow what i mean coughcoughchapter4endingcough, and how that ended up changing the rest of his following scenes). 

also the ending i had No idea what it was going to be until LITERALLY when i was writing chapter 8. i had an epiphany and wrote down an outline of it so i wouldnt lose track of those thoughts. and the ending DID change because of actual graduation canon!!!! maybe one day i will reveal what the original ending was going to be, though i honestly kept my orig idea and just built stuff around it to make it work. 

honestly, ssoss has been one of my greatest exercises in motivation and storyplanning. i don’t Plan much but i do think about the story CONSTANTLY, and it helps that i have a pretty decent memory!!!! there are scenes i’ve had to either cut or move because of either time (aka when its getting close to midnight on a writing day and im literally going insane) or just the scene no longer working w the flow of the chapter, which i’ve learned is par for the course!! sometimes ya gotta cut stuff.

also in terms of pushing myself to keep writing it? audience feedback/hype really does help me!!!! seeing my friends and random people freak out about updates is honestly like. the Reason i wanna write more bc it’s just so cool and humbling to see people appreciate my work!!!! i’ve never had like a “fandom famous” fic before, and tho i wouldn’t put myself at the level of fame Other taz writers have gotten, i’m pretty happy with my lot!!!! 

#ignorance cloud on #ssoss #yeah ill put it in the tag why not #thank u egg!!! #i like how i answered this like i was being interviewed wow shes famous #anyways to make a LONG fuckin story short: #matt is an enabler and i let him and i have no idea how i got here #im just the wendys employee in the universes mental breakdown yknow #but its been fun! #mcnuggyy

[izukuwus]

Your 'katsudon' looks delicious,.. How did you make it,, 😍

*breaks fingers* alright recipe time bitches, gonna throw this shit under a readmore for ur dash’s sakes

ingredience:

1-2 chicken breasts (I used one cus I got a different brand from usual and these chicken breasts were THICC, u wanna make sure they’re kinda thin otherwise cut em in half or they won’t cook through properly)

rice (1 cup white uncooked is what I used)

onion (half a large yellow onion, I used two small yellow onions cus I’m an onion whore)

panko, which is japanese bread crumbs! (like 1 cup)

1 large egg, beaten

2 more large eggs, beaten, SEPARATE from the first egg

about 1/4 cup flour

salt n pepper baybeeee

grated lemon peel (if it doesn’t have lemon peel, soy sauce, or just so much sugar I didn’t cook it, but you can leave this out if you want :( )

2/3 cup dashi stock 

1 1/2 tbsp mirin (rice wine, it’s a cooking wine so you should be able to buy it even if ur not legal drinking age)

1 1/2 tbsp sake (NOT a cooking alcohol, u will need someone to buy it for u if ur underaged)

1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce

1 1/2 TEASPOONS, not tablespoons, sugar

if ur life rocks and u can find it, mitsuba which is japanese parsley. if ur life doesn’t rock and u can’t get it (Aka ur me), regular parsley works fine

oil! a flavor neutral cooking oil like canola oil or veg oil. don’t use olive oil. the amount will depend on the size of ur frying pan but we’re gonna b shallow frying this shit

resippy:

set everything out, cook ur rice ahead of time

start by slicing up your onions. what I do is cut the onion in half and then do wedges, then separate the layers and toss that into a bowl. set aside for later

I like to set up ur breading station first so u don’t gotta do it with chicken hands or wash your hands 50000 times, so set out either shallow bowls or plates with ur flour, ONE beaten egg, panko, and then one clean plate for once ur chicken’s all bready

then u wanna prep ur chicken, if ur chicken breasts are thin slicing in half once longways is fine (like chicken tenders) but if u got thicc bois first slice em in half so they’re not so thicc. u want this shit to b able to cook all the way thru because in this house we do NOT stan salmonella poisoning or any matter of food-born illnesses. I find 4 chicken tender-sized slices to b the perfect amount to fit in my pan

if u didn’t prep ur breading station ahead of time, wash ur hands and do it now. ur order is flour -> egg -> panko -> finish plate

if u prepped ur breading station first, then sprinkle salt + pepper over both sides of each chicken not-tender, maybe a lil bit of lemon peel. then, one at a time, cover each piece with flour, then dredge it in egg, and then the panko. b careful to completely cover ur chicken during each step! when it’s bready, place the chicken+seasoning+floureggpanko on the plate, rinse ur fingertips bc they’re probs gettin breaded too, and repeat until all ur chicken’s covered and breaded

get a plate and line it with 2 or 3 paper towels, have some extra on the side too, you’ll need em

now for the fun part and the reason i smell like burn ointment right now: frying!

you wanna get a shallow frying pan and pour enough oil so it’s half an inch deep in. heat it over medium heat 5-10 minutes, you want the oil to be around 350 degrees fahrenheit (176.66 celcius according to google?) but I don’t own a thermometer lmao. take a tiny piece of panko and drop it in the oil, it might sink a lil and if bubbles carry it back to the top kinda slow-ish you’ll know you’re ready to fry. u wanna make sure it’s not too cold or too hot cus too cold won’t get crispy and too hot will over-cook ur breading while ur chicken doesn’t cook all the way thru

drop one of your katsu tenders in the oil s l o w l y. if u did it right the oil probably doesn’t cover the tender all the way--that’s ok, using either tongs or something scoopy or like, long chopsticks, carefully flip it every now and then until the whole thing’s nice and golden brown. remove and set on ur paper towel plate, repeat for the rest of ur katsu tenders. I recommend one at a time so you don’t overcook any of them! it also makes em easier to flip in the oil without being a dumbass like me and having oil pop all over ur goddamn s k i n and burn u cus god knows I do that shit every time or grab fresh hot meat with my bare hands when it’s barely out of the oil

once you’re all done frying, remove ur oil from the heat and let it cool before you even THINK about cleaning that shit. get another frying pan (probs deeper than the one u fried in), toss in ur sake, mirin, dashi, sugar, soy sauce, and onions, and stir it up. heat it until it starts boiling, drop ur heat to medium, and cook it up until ur onions are all wilty. 

at this point, put ur fried up chicken in and turn the heat up to medium high. take ur other two beaten eggs and pour em over the chicken so it’s about as evenly ditributed as u can get. nice egg bath for our nice bready chicken. 

when the egg’s around half cooked (I’d give advice on what that looks like but it’s kinda somethin u gotta feel with ur heart of hearts), turn off the heat and add ur mitsuba or boring old dried parsley I GUESS and more lemon peel. probably less than i would add. I’m known for eating more lemon than is healthy.

remember your rice? I sure hope so! get some of that shit in a bowl and scoop out some chicken tendie, make sure u get onions and some of the liquid and stuff, and lay that shit on top of the rice.

take a bite and fucking ascend. holy shit. izuku was right. katsudon is so fucking good. the first time I made this shit and tried it I got some rice, meat, and onion and egg all in one bite and yelled “oh FUCK” so loud in my kitchen my roommate came out of her room and I had to let her try some. but don’t be fooled. this recipe could probably maybe serve two, potentially three if ur all small eaters. don’t share. eat all of it urself. c o n s u m e it. I highly recommend gettin a bite with everything in it, cus you’ll fucking d i e. 

izuku was so right. this shit slaps. even if it’s not technically katsudon. (I think it makes it oyakodon? but shhhh it’s katsudon if I SAY it’s katsudon) it’s just. so good. i’m a lil drunk cus the sake isn’t resealable so I’ve been drinking it but f u c k this shit’s so good. call me a kinnie but katsudon’s one of my favorite foods now too i’m lowkey crying a little it’s so fucking g o o d

#distant citrus sounds #not bnha #answered asks #anon #recipes #cooking with grae

[thebewilderer]

re: my shitty ex bc now i’m on desktop and can do a readmore this is shit i’ve been dying to say for a long ass time

(mentions of nsfw and emotional manipulation under the cut)

okay so features of dating them include but are not limited to:

-”you’re the only i don’t kill myself so you can’t break up with me” (big fucking yikes) -deadass just like, lying about being asexual so that i’d get them off and they wouldn’t have to do anything for me (shockingly, not what ‘asexual’ means lmao) -oh boy the emotional manipulation -guilting me into buying them things when i had next to no money, into missing important events so i could hang out with them, into having sex (one sided of course, i never got anything out of the deal), into -making me feel like i was a bad person for wanting Actual Sex -making me feel shitty about my taste in clothing (”ew that makes you look old”, “uh you know that doesn’t look good on you right?”) about my taste in media (”okay but [whatever media i was excited about at the time] is transphobic/racist/homophobic/etc.”), about being attracted to people, about my personal kinks -them deadass sending actual real life no joke death threats to your new s/o when you finally work up the nerve to break up with them (and then despite knowing all these things (yes, even the death threat one), 95% of my friends still remain friends with them 🙃)

and NOW they’re vagueing about me on their twitter like I’M the shitty one

okay so aside from my “abysmally dogshit takes” (all of which are under a specific tag here if you’re curious) a) they weren’t IDing as a guy during any point in our relationship, so i’m not sure how i was supposed to magically know that they were going to in the future b) and even if they were? like, i’m allowed to have kinks..... yes, even kinks that they cannot satisfy..... like, sorry that me mentioning the fact that i had a kink was “horrific and traumatizing transphobia”? what? c) i talked about eating pussy JUST as much as i talked about sucking dick lmao so i’m not really sure where they pulled the “complaining all the time :(” shit from, and d) it’s *affected, not ‘effected’, you absolutely stupid motherfucker

#ih #yeah i blocked out their @ #bc unlike them i don't condone sending people death threats #a novel fucking concept i know #the shitty ex

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

#me when i talk to jules- floods her w a wall of songs #me when i talk to ruth- floods her with a wall of incomprehensible thoughts #the lov is stored in the walls of text! ; O ; #thank you again ruth!!!! this was really fun to write out and i may have cried while writing a few bits but it's fiiiine #i loved writing this 🥰 #long post #like INCREDIBLY long post!!!! #sriracha ask game #fullmetal-the-last-alchemist

[squishybons]

heLLO YES IM A GOBLIN THAT READS ALL THE TAGS WHATS THIS ABOUT THE FFXV LAD DESIGNS YOU GOT???/

😳! HAHA im on my way to work rn so i cant indulge in a nice full color response like i wanna do, but later on at the desk i can reply to this again w some sketches :0

It started w me wanting to see Gladio in dreads bc theyre Nice and my dad started up the process to get them again about a year ago; like maybe younger gladio would have really thin braids at first bc its less ‘commitment’ but like, as hes training and running around with a busy schedule, the time between getting the braids, keeping up w them, and having to get them unbraided was Too Much Work so he just shaves it all off.

THEN i thought of him beginning to work on his dreads right before the roadtrip so like, for like a year he has the lil baby nubs hes been twisting up and i about died 😩✨he still keeps the sides shaved up until hes 24/25, where he decides to let them grow and even out the tips when they finally get long enough. My dad had his dreads on the thinner side and he was METICULOUS about the upkeep so they grew very fast and very strong, down to the crack of his ass lmao and while i would love to draw gladio w dreads of similar length, logically it would be hell. When its that long you get headaches (which is why my dad cut them off a couple years back), and like, in actual fights hairpulling is a legitimate tactic 😂 he just keeps it down to his shoulders for convenience

Noctis has either twists or super thin dreads that barely brush his shoulders, i cant decide. But they do wave in his face Alot and its fun thinking of him shaking his head for some reason and absolutely whipping his own damn face 😩 them shits is a Lethal Weapon. His dad helped him do his own twists for years when he was younger, and i like to think of Regis having his own dreads:> Hes got the nice gold and silver bands on some of his locks, and older!noctis adopts this as well post dawn. V pretty, v regal...

Prompto....has cute wavy hair. Like 3c-4a kind of bouncy curls that Always get in his face 🥺 its dyed blonde but hes always shit about dyeing his hair when hes supposed to so like, 90% of the time hes got his roots Exposed. He cares So Much about it but hes also...’lazy’...so like, theyre just gonna get done when they get done lmao

Iggy is the Most controversial im Sure but like, ive been thinking of him with a flat top for Ages and i refuse to give up the design, its too good. (Alternative is loose curls in the same pattern...)The fade flat top, the nice sharp glasses together w the clothes he wears is just an Aesthetic. He looks serious and unapproachable but u know...we know...hes a doof who makes puns and pastries, with a love of tacky coeurl print shirts; hes a sweetheart 💜

I only did like...the hair bc this is on mobile and the manual readmore doesnt work like it should anymore, and i already feel REALLY bad for just rambling about it as is 🥺 but ill sketch out additional details n stuff during my shift and make another post later this morning (its almost midnight rn...) thank u for asking and prompting me to respond; on my own im too scared to make posts and share ideas but, if im asked, it makes me way less anxious ☺️

#ffxv #chocobros #long post #ALSO LIKE!!! HI HELLO #v excited to see this ask when i woke up tonight 🥺✨ #i took off way more than i intended to but also #i am basically pupby and i was v excited to actually share anything dhsjhssjshsjsj #posting in the middle of the night bc it makes me feel better about making such a long post :< #not mentioned; noct and iggy having those cute moles around the eyes and beauty marks around their face #i used to hate mine so much when i was in high school #bt now i think theyre so nice...✨

[codeblve]

howdy y’all ! lilac’s the name, writing trashlord character’s the game. i hail from a lil island known as australia... so in essence, i am never gonna be online at the same time as anyone else dkjfghdkfjgd. but !! don’t let this deter you. like a lil ol’ boomerang i’ll eventually find my way into your dms and hopefully we can plot/write with all your incredible muses. <3 a lil info about me though, i’m a tea connoisseur, sims enthusiast, and i talk daily about how i consider the barbie films cinematic masterpieces. if i haven’t scared you off and you’d like to get to know my sweet and memey tough boi, please press that readmore to complete your transaction.

⌠LUKE HEMMINGS, TWENTY ONE, CISMALE, HE/HIM⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, BLUE HAWTHORNE! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + COVERT OPERATIONS (CP); and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a smiley face traced into the precipitation on a mirror after a long and warm shower, a constellation of bruises strewn across your body, impatient foot tapping in the hallows of detention, chopsticks fashioned into walrus tusks over a meal, climbing higher and higher with no sign of stopping). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 2/13/1998, they always request their CHEESY NACHOS WITH EXTRA GUAC from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

( PERSONALITY ! )

( for more details about blue, check out his stats & hcs here ! )

he is playful, jocular, impulsive, and honestly? immature lmao. he is honestly a Soft Jock™

he’s always been looking for the childhood he never got to have, y’know? he does this in the way he’s always cracking jokes, a bit of a class clown, disruptive. a wholesome prank or two. 

he gets in trouble in school more than his fair share, simply for daydreaming or sneaking out. he doesn’t let the institution define him, but he can take orders when needed. he can be very loyal tho, and much like eggsy in kingsmen, if someone asked him to choose between his dog or orders ?? he’s always choosing the dog kdjgf

he is secretly very insecure and always has a need to please. if someone doesn’t like him, he’ll tear himself apart to figure out why.

he’s always telling jokes and always laughing. he’s known for his Memes and is always a good time to be around. social butterfly, gregarious. chances are if you don’t know him, you’ve heard him dkfgjdf

he’s also a bit Anti-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( sex lmao ) because ya boi has commitment issues so high they’re floating out there in space

he can also be very maternal when the need arises. he is not good at talking about emotions but he’ll give you a meme or a hug to Heal You

he very much reminds me of the human embodiment of a puppy. cannot be alone for very long, has a short attention span, and craves validation lmfao. give him a squeaky toy and he will be Contented

as a soon-to-be spy he can be Tough in the field when he needs to be but he’s also v sensitive. most see him as a macho, just genuinely happy kinda dude but, he truly feels a lot. he won’t let you know that, though.

he struggles academically as he has a short attention span most of the time and thinks too little of himself. however, he’s a lot brighter than most people give him credit for. he’s incredibly creative and a lateral thinker. maths makes him want to die, tho. he does shine in physical trials at least, which is something !

also what’s money? blue does not know. he grew up with hardly anything, and has been working since he could. for this reason he’s quite frugal and struggles to throw things away. 

blue’s troubled past ( explained below ) is something he doesn’t acknowledge, and not a lot of people know about. to many, he’s known as the local Meme Dealer. but to a lucky few, he’s known as a friend who would do anything for you.

most just know him as the moron named after a colour tho.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( HISTORY ! ) - tw: illness/cancer, death, substance ( alcohol / drugs ) & depression.

blue hawthorne, who never goes by his birthname bc he hates it dfkjgdgdf, was born in the town of sparks, nevada ! 

it was always just blue and his mother, margarette. he never met his father and he was gone long before blue’s mother could even tell him about a pregnancy test. cut off from her family due to having a child out of wedlock, the pair started a life for themselves. all they had was a humble abode in a trailer park. material possessions were lacking, but blue never felt like he went without. 

blue’s mother was by very definition blue’s best friend. they both shared a love of music and ballet, and margarette worked as many jobs as she could to allow for her son to take lessons. starting quite young, at the age of four or five, blue was actually quite good. the usually mischievous and erratic child found structure in the discipline, and it was the thing that brought him the most happiness.

as a child blue was often teased for his interest, and the fact that he was so close with his mother. despite being incredibly short and frail at the time, he was also very outspoken and strong-willed, and never let his peers get the best of him. he danced, he laughed, he bruised his knees at any given opportunity. made a lot of mistakes. what he lacked in possessions he gained in the abundance of joy he felt in his heart growing up. his mother and a few of his close friends were his world.

when blue turned fifteen, everything changed.

( illness / cancer tw ) the jubilant, mischievous, but altogether kind-hearted boy was given the heart-breaking news that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer. margarette hawthorne, much like her son, was a fighter - and didn’t let such a diagnosis keep her down. despite their dwindling lack of funds now going towards medical bills, and the fact blue began sacrificing his own childhood as he took to the role of a caretaker of sorts for his mother, he never took his time with her for granted.

things were okay for a while. there was a point where the doctors were convinced that she was going to make it. blue was a fool. blue believed them.

at the age of sixteen, blue lost everything. he lost his place to live, he lost his childhood and lust for life, and he lost the person he loved most in the world. he lost his best friend.

it wasn’t long before the overbearing sympathy from those around him soured blue. he was sick of being bullied, people not liking him, and altogether not being in control of his own life. most of all, he felt so hopeless as his best friend in the entire world was starting to fade. so what did this boy do ? he quit ballet (the thing he’d loved since he was able to stand), he started drinking, he got involved with a very bad crowd and became a frequenter of the local police station. blue became a certified Bad Boy™

blue was sent to live with the grandparents that despised him and never acknowledged his existence before that moment, having met them at his mother’s funeral. righteous and conservative in their views, they had cast aside their daughter when she had blue, and only reached out to her in her final months. for this reason, blue despised these people (he refused to call them family). he tried his best to be appreciative of a house and food ( which was much better than anything he had growing up ). but he was cold. always cold.

( substance tw ) in his latter adolescence, blue fell into a rapid succession of bad decisions. still small, still frail in stature, he found himself at a dissonance with his image and began growing insecure about his looks, the years of torment weighing on him. he found anesthetic in the party scene outside of school, taking to alcohol and drugs as a sedative from the life he felt forced to lead. he couldn’t decide if he hated himself or he hated the world more.

at the age of 17, his rap sheet seemed to grow with each rise and fall of the sun. he was hardly ever ‘home’ and couch surfed. at the age of 17 he’d gotten his own car and lived more out of that than the stuffy house on top of the hill where he was supposed to be. his grades were debris lost in his tumultuous storm, he was always looking for validation from the kids he hung around with and made some very poor decisions in the hopes he’d be liked. in the hopes he’d find a new family.

the partying, the stream of hook ups, his criminal record (mainly with petty theft, a few write ups for public intoxication and fighting), the instability of his living situation and his future all came to boil just before he turned 18. physically he’d started to fill out, and look more like the man people know today. he was no longer frail and no longer weak, and when asked, he used to his fists to forge that path he thought he wanted.

after a dark night, it became apparent to blue that his path of self destruction was hurting no one but himself. things had to change.

through nothing short than a McMiracle (sponsored by Ronald McDonald, bc no one else is rich enough to pull it off lmfao) blue managed to scrape by and complete high school. not well by any means. but he did it.

it was about now that blue had been informed of a small school called blackthorne academy. details were scarce, but what drew the blond’s attention was the tuition ( or lack thereof ). his acceptance cited his physical capabilities as seen through his many years of dance and explained why he was of particular interest to the school. he was suspicious, to say the least. but blue knew he wanted to become something, and to go to this school would not only take him away from a life he wanted to forget, but he would become self sufficient, and be able to leave his toxic family situation on his own terms. 

bidding farewell to the grandparents he was only beginning to know, his grandfather saw no reason to extend her kindnesses, and cut blue off. at the age of 18 he was homeless, with nothing but a car and a handful of pokemon cards he’d had as a kid. not worth anything or even particularly sentimental, he just likes pokemon kgfjfd.

living in his car for a while before eventually crashing with a close friend, blue managed to absorb his days in work before eventually starting his tenure at blackthorne. although blue’s wild days are behind him, there are some things locked in his past that still haunt him. there are doors he never hopes to open again. but he got his fresh start, and is determined to live the life a young blue would have wanted for him, and one his mother could be proud of. and who knows, maybe he could go on and save the world. 

( WANTED CONNECTIONS ! )

all of these are absolute trash, and i much prefer plotting with specific characters in mind to cater it to our muses and make it unique to them. (~: but i do have a few wanted connections here as a starting off point !! if any of them really call to you though, please let me know as i would adore to have anything listed !! with that in mind, i wanted to include a sample of a few of the connects on the page here to make things a lil easier. 

— *. ; ( co-workers ) || this connection is a little up in the air as i understand that students aren’t allowed to leave campus without staff supervision, and tuition isn’t awfully high if you can’t afford it ! however, blue has no money, and if at all possible he would try and get some sort of job whilst at blackthorne/gallaghers. whether that be doing odd jobs as part of his covert ops classes, or even working for the campus doing things like lawn maintenance, working in the stables, or literally anything that was open ! ( his ‘job’ could even be bringing in dkfjgdf some sorts of contraband to sell to other students, lmfao. nothing illegal, just stuff you can’t get on campus ). this connection is meant for any muses that may also be employed, or want them to be, and these two could be co-workers ! with an admin blessing we can figure out what is logistically possible within the plot, and if your muse already has a job i’d be very interested to have blue be a coworker if you were at all interested !! <3

— *. ; ( protector ) || there are two things blue hates most in this world: liars, and bullies. as an older ( and arguably large ) student, he comes to find someone who is going through a rough time assimilating to life at the academy for whatever reason. on the surface neither of them have anything in common, but the pair form a sibling like bond, and blue is willing to do anything to protect their friend. 

— *. ; ( aggressor ) || blue is very mild mannered for the most part, save for any jokes he likes to make. however, there is someone on campus who absolutely makes his blood boil. whether this person dislikes blue for his lack of wealth and sophistication, his inherent need to never pick sides, or his immediate abandonment of respect for blackthorne once the truth came to light. or perhaps he made a joke in their early days that rubbed this person the wrong way, and a toxic environment has persisted since then. i imagine this relationship has escalated to violence, and for whoever picks this up i’d really love to delve into their hatred and flesh out their angst !

there are plenty more connects on the page and like i said, i am literally happy to plot anything under the sun. (~: 

thank you so much for reading ! if you made it all the way here ?? you’re a h*cking legend lmfao. if there’s anything here that stood out to you please hit me up either on tumblr dms or via discord ( my user is lilac 🍕#1835, or kjgdgdf the person with the crying squidward icon in the gc lmfao ). as there are quite a lot of members here, please like this here intro if you are interesting in plotting/writing with me so i know !! i’ll check out your beautiful intro and Throw (or rather, gently pass you) some ideas your way if you haven’t messaged me first. <3 but thank you so much again for making it to this point, here’s a proverbial cookie for your troubles. it’s double choc chip, enjoy it. (~: 

#gallagher:intro #this was... so long aND IM SO SORRY #thank y'all for all being literal angels and making me feel so welcome (': #( ooc ; i have the power of god & anime on my side ! )

[yamameta-inc]

You should talk more about your villain au if you want to!! It sounds really interesting! Like, is gintoki taking takasugis antagonist place or utsuros? Where's the yorozuya? I love pro/antag swaps so much so this is super intriguing!

I’m glad you’re interested! I love roleswaps too. this one isn’t a true roleswap though because technically speaking, takasugi doesn’t swap into gintoki’s place! gintoki is an antagonist now but takasugi.... technically is too, or he starts out as one but due to the events of the plot has no choice but to slowly work with the protagonists. i suspect this may get long bc i suck at giving concise summaries so i’ll put the actual description of the au under a readmore

basically, instead of just being alone after shouyou’s execution for the next 10 years, gintoki somehow meets utsuro, perhaps through being taken into custody and then Things happen. [handwaves] anyway the gist of what happens is that this gintoki went off with utsuro 10 years ago. his ultimate goal was and still is to kill utsuro once and for all, but the grief, unstable psychological state and the pressure of the circumstances slowly distorted his outlook until the line between utsuro and shouyou got somewhat blurred for him because of his guilt over killing shouyou leaking into his desire to kill utsuro. and spending time with utsuro and knowing shouyou as he does, he sees through utsuro’s fundamental nature pretty easily after 10 years. and it results in a warped desire to grant utsuro/shouyou’s “wish” (utsuro’s being his goal of dying, shouyou’s being that one moment at the cliffside frozen in time forever). villain gin survives mostly off of mania lmao, so he does have some similarities with takasugi there. he nominally works with the naraku, but he’s, well, still gintoki, so he’s a real wild card and impossible for even oboro to predict, and as the plot goes on he starts being increasingly chaotic and becoming an obstacle for all parties including utsuro’s bc he was never really part of his faction at all. he’s always hated the naraku, even when he worked with them. so it’s very "slow realization that this isolated and manic gintoki is even more isolated and alone than you thought because he isn’t even part of the villain faction you thought he was part of”

this is getting WAY too long even though i haven’t covered everything dfkgjsdgnf so i’m just gonna quickly run through the basics for the rest of your questions... the yorozuya still more or less does the same things as in canon, it’s just not called the yorozuya! shinpachi and kagura end up “working” for zura instead, and zura + kagura together basically pick up the main character slack left behind by gintoki, and most of the early arcs happen without huge changes from canon. takasugi... also starts off like in canon but in this au he and zura never properly cut ties bc they’re both... too busy being extremely unsettled and concerned about gintoki lmfao. who they haven’t seen in years at the story’s start but obviously they’ve Heard things yeah. and know just enough to know something’s deeply wrong. and due to the nature of the Something... they have little choice but to keep in contact because gintoki has always been the frayed thread binding them although it’s very tense and awkward for a long time.