#reading romance of late hoping i can scrounge some faith

[daisytarget]

just some moodboards for my almost-finished fic!! Their names are highlighted with their soulmate bond colors :)

You could read it here, if you like!!

#reading romance of late hoping i can scrounge some faith #fanfic art #moodboard #marvel #natasha romanoff #darcy lewis #steve rogers #captain america #hawkeye #clint barton #darcy x natasha

[genderdoe-sly]

one of the things that is so cool about reading @daisytarget's interpretation of Natasha in RROL while deep diving into my own trauma is seeing how two people with trust issues can come to entirely different conclusions (and often maladaptive patterns) from it. While I'm not the level of untrusting and traumatized as Natasha is, seeing someone with roughly similar issues around vulnerability (her emotionally + physically, me emotionally) is almost comforting if not definitely deeply helpful. On another level, seeing an example of the WHY factor (i.e. natasha giving a short description of her first night in the red room in chap. 25, which is in comparison to other memories not as capital H Horrendous) in behavior is not only interesting but super validating.

#reading romance of late hoping I can scrounge some faith #fanfiction #character analysis #personal #fanfic #darcy x natasha #Natasha/darcy #mcu #posts by sly #writers on ao3 #rrolhicssf

[daisytarget]

something something labors of love vs a love built of one-sided labors and the sentence "you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else" and the fact I love others better than I love myself and by better i mean more easily, more endlessly, more devotedly, more imploringly, and "i have to apologize, for the fact it's me" and the way every animal I have ever loved and welcomed into my home was deemed unlovable by someone else because they were ugly or disabled or disheveled or badly behaved and when they entered my roof and I dressed them up in "mommy's baby" shirts and kissed their little heads they were beautiful, for the fact they knew they were lovable and deserving of the love they received and asking someone to fix you (derogatory) vs asking someone to grow alongside you each picking each other up along the way and the way loving someone, even yourself, is an active choice every day but that doesn't make it LABOR it just makes it proof that if I can love others I CAN love myself it's just a bigger choice to make and one that's worth making because at the end of the day I am the little rat dog no one else will adopt if I don't deem myself lovable I AM DESERVING OF MY OWN LOVE IT IS A BEAUTIFUL TRANSFORMATIVE THING it apologizes for the fact it is me and makes me something not necessary to apologize for all in one fell swoop because if I can love me, so can you, and you, and you, but I don't have to love me first to be capable of loving. I think we must be capable of loving something else, someone else, flaws and ugly bits and all, before we can love our own.

#I believe #at the end of the day #self love is a labor of love and not a love built of labors #it is work worth doing and it is not a crime to be work #i love my cat and he bites me anyway #it is a labor of love to not bite him back #but it is easy in the same breath to kiss him kitty head and apologize for all the times he needed to bite #not because he had to bite me #but because biting does not make one unlovable #or suddenly no longer worth the work it is to love #you are not the things you have done #and you deserve your own transformative love #can you tell im thinking about my fic again #??? #reading romance of late hoping i can scrounge some faith #if the suit fits #its a both and kinda post

[daisytarget]

i don't want you to think im ignoring you the truth is that I had nothing to cool to say about the last chapters even though it was SO GOOD. I'm having an up and down mental time and I'm trying not to let school kick my ass. back in august I started trying to craft a cover for the fic and I got fixated on the hands before I got to distracted to work on it, but I thought you still might be interested in seeing what i'd done

Maybe one day i'll come back to it, but I can explain the symbolism if you like

first things first you're. you're so lovely i kiss you on your head

second OH? my GOD? you made a COVER?? I am so tickled pink kicking my feet chewing on my hardwood floors about this!! It looks FULL of potential and promise omg

I would LOVE if you have the time and spoons to explain the symbolism but I totally understand the grasp the hands have. the poetry writes itself really

School and mental stuff all hits around this time of year - I didn't take it personally at all and if you are ever in a place you wish to word vomit about my fic, I'd be delighted to word vomit with you!! If not, I appreciate you reading and enjoying and the fact you were so inspired you started art !!! means the world to me!!

#ask #reading romance of late hoping i can scrounge some faith #darcy x natasha #natasha romanov #darcy lewis #my fics #ART #sly :)

[daisytarget]

It's been said before and I am not the last to say it but Work Song by Hozier is ALSO so Natasha coded. It's painfully Natalia Romanov.

#Ugh writing next update and feeling feelings #natasha romanov #natalia romanova #reading romance of late hoping i can scrounge some faith #darcy x natasha #hozier #work song #something something the plight of being known and being radically accepted when you've never done so yourself #something something assassin's patience meets lesbian devotion meets gentle tender love #Spotify

[daisytarget]

"Chin Up" by Yoke Lore is SO Natasha Romanov coded sorry guys. Wish it wasn't but It So Is

#chapter 30 vibes yall #reading romance of late hoping i can scrounge some faith #natasha romanov #Spotify