#read em or don't

[grimdarkfandango]

riley's rec list 2023

oo-er alliteration, ladidah

AIGHT SO hello so I saw a fic rec list yesterday and was like. damn son I love rec lists. and then I read a fic off it and went DAMN SON I LOVE REC LISTS so guess what y'all are getting for 2024. it's a fic rec list! congratulations release the crocodiles

these are in approximately no order whatsoever. not all of these came out in 2023, but some of them did, and I definitely read them with my eyeballs then.

I'm not bothering with a readmore you know how to scroll happy new year

One Hundred Years Past by tciddaemina | BOTW/LoZ | Ganondorf/Link | 39k + sequels Link wakes up a hundred years early. It changes everything.

y'all I only read this two days ago and I am Ob Sessed. what if Ganondorf picked Link up like a feral stray in the desert. What if he dodged calamity with the power of dick and this twink he found. What if the second story in the series was designed in a lab to make me feral. What if!

Pinned and Needled by surveycorpsjean | One Piece (manga/anime) | Zoro/Sanji | 35k Sanji struggles with an injury that prevents him from cooking. Around the same time, Zoro starts to act strange.

[deep fucking inhale] SO. sometimes you are ambling at a slowish pace through a manga with over 1100 chapters and then an author you really like drops a fic for the couple you are rotating in your head and so you go 'hey cool let me just read that' and you don't even get half the plot references in the story but it's enough because then you read 700 chapters in A Week and now you're caught up and get to read it all over again and scream even louder

like a bird on a wire by tierfal | BNHA/MHA (manga) | Endeavor/Hawks | 8k The aftermath, and the undertow, and something like a sunrise.

we still don't know what the aftermath of the war will be [stares into the middle distance about the most recent chapter] so enjoy this hurt/comfort from after ch 390!! I just... love Hawks... it's about the devotion...

I'm realising of all of the recs here this one might need the most canon knowledge to make sense but. also. what if you read 410 chapters of manga and then talked to me about it...

Facade by Hazel_Athena | One Piece (manga/anime) | Zoro/Sanji | 32k Left with only three other crew mates, it’s a ready expectation that Sanji will start fawning all over Robin in his usual obnoxious way. However, that’s not what happens. Instead, looking wild around the eyes in a way only someone who knows him well would recognize, the cook doesn’t break stride until he’s firmly within Zoro’s orbit and can wrap both hands around his upper arm, clinging tight. “Hi, darling,” he chirps, his expression desperately conveying that Zoro needs to play along under pain of death. “Did you miss me?”

ZOSAN FAKE DATING MARRIAGE LESGOOOO

this is just so much fluff and also zoro being in PainTM and I love a good trope mmkay

Carry You Home (In My Teeth) by DistortedDaytime | Stranger Things | Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson | 51k All Billy wants to do is lick his wounds and sleep off a bad night. Instead, he wakes up to find his furrier half stranded in Steve Harrington’s laundry room.

Billy the werewolf! Eddie the vampire! Steve the Steve! I am cheating a little bit because I got to cheer this on first-hand as it was being written BUT also it's just really, really, really fun. And horny. And full of Billy's Issues. Plus some neat werewolf worldbuilding and my favourite type of Deus Ex Maxine.

Everything In Its Right Place by JustSomeGuyDontWorryAboutIt | Mandalorian | Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth | 12k In which Cobb Vanth is forced off-planet, roped into a rescue mission, and made to stew torturously in his feelings. Just because you’ve spent months fantasizing about shucking him from that armour like a Sorgan krill doesn’t mean he’s thought about you even once, he reminded himself. Don’t make this awkward. Just enjoy the company while it lasts.

I, too, think Cobb should get to tap that so hard they cause an interstellar incident about it. And that's after he charms the last remaining jedi into giving the kid back.

Same As It Ever Was by QuokkaFoxtrot | Stranger Things | Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson | 62k "Deja-vu? Like you feel like you've done this before, because-" "No!" Steve snaps, feeling everyone's attention snap to him. He lowers his voice, aiming it so that only Nancy can hear. "I mean I've carried Eddie's body back to the rift in the trailer. Twice." --- Sometimes it can take a while to become the man you want to be.

Sometimes a good friend slides you a link to a fic their friend has started writing with a 'hey you ship this, check this out' and then you lose your whole fucking mind, usually directly into the comment box, until the whole thing is complete. This is the time loop fic of DREAMS. This is the GOLD FUCKING STANDARD. This has, unequivocally, REWIRED MY GODDAMN BRAIN. This is, as far as I'm concerned, one of the best fics ever written. Run don't walk.

THAT'S IT HAPPY NEW YEAR

#fic recs #long post #the fuck I'm not tagging all of those fandoms #read em or don't

[ragsy]

I handle a lot of books every day, and I have learned that cozy mystery novels (which the grandmas go NUTS over) always have some sort of cute animal or whimsical handicraft on the cover, but since they're mysteries, there's usually still some form of grisly murder involved, which gets you absolute gems like this:

#ragsycon exclusive #i don't know shit about the quality of the novels. I've never read em #i just love pulling a book off my cart with a baby kitty in a teacup on it & i check the title & it says some shit like DEATHSTABBER SUPREME

[i-restuff]

📢 attention nerds 📢 we got character bios!

#tmnt #mutant mayhem #13 year old me would project herself ontu mikey fr 😩 #also SO MUCH GOING ON HERE I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START #you guys go crazy #Imma read em all

[yardsards]

hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.

yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.

because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.

but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.

because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."

and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.

is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.

just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.

#eliot posts #suicide mention #animal abuse mention #i guess #ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post #i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often #i frequently block people for saying it #sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too #i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression #but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.) #and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness #and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them #and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys #so yeah! fucking stop it!

[anonymouspuzzler]

everyone has been so darned kind about the update!! to everyone who has taken a peek at our work, explored the site, shared it with their friends, drawn fanart, done ANIMATICS, MUSIC VIDEOS, everything and anything - thank you, thank you, thank you!!

also here's a lot of little doodles i found i did during production that i completely forgot about until now. the last little comic is a True Story that happened when i was hosting the exhibition

[Image IDs/transcripts under cut!]

[Image 1 ID: A full-color, digital drawing of a puppet version of Puzz lifting up Wally on her right hip. Wally is smiling gently and waving with his right arm. There is a light green and blue gradient behind them, and rainbow text above their heads reading "THANK YOU!" with little heart symbols in several colors. End ID.]

[Image 2 ID: A photo of Puzz and the Wally puppet, with a caricature of Puzz's face drawn over where her head would be. She is wearing read heart earrings and has her hair in a curly updo similar to Wally's pompadour. She is smiling with her tongue sticking out, looking into the camera. Wally is also smiling into the camera, one arm resting behind Puzz's back and the other hand on her arm. There is an arrow pointing to Puzz with handwritten text reading "PUZZ!" in blue colored pencil, and various yellow- and blue stars drawn around the image. End ID.]

[Image 3 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of Puzz sitting at a messy L-shaped desk. She is wearing a baggy black t-shirt over a striped long-sleeve shirt, a grey skirt, and tights with a swirly pattern. There is a laptop to Puzz's right, a takeout container and cup of pens to her left, and a monitor right in front of her. There is a close-up image of Eddie's smiling face on the monitor. Puzz leans in close with an intense, thoughtful expression, going "hmm...". End ID.]

[Image 4 ID: A black-and-wite digital ink drawing showing Wally watching in horror as Puzz, spinning in circles with a vapid grin, ascends into the sky with a giant box balanced on top of her head. Her tiny top hat is in turn balanced on top of the box. End ID.]

[Image 5 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of puppet Puzz and Wally. Puzz is standing in front of Wally, back facing the viewer, with an empty grin. Wally, who is about a full head taller, looks down at her with dumbfounded horror, apparently unable to comprehend someone being smaller than him. There are several question marks above his head. End ID.]

[Image 6 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of Wally. He is leaning against a surface holding a phone, staring at the viewer with a gentle smile. He is holding the phone to his ear with his left hand and twirling the cord around his finger with his right. End ID.]

[Image 7 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of Frank and Barnaby. They are recreating the meme image of two men in the snow, with Frank looking off to the right holding a small snowball in his hands, while Barnaby jumps up behind him holding a huge snowball, grinning widely and prepared to Dunk. End ID.]

[Image 8 ID: A black-and-white digital ink comic about Puzz and Wally at the Playfellow Exhibition. Puzz, wearing a N95 mask and dressed up like Wally, holds the Wally puppet on her left. In front of them is a woman with a short bob haircut and striped shirt, holding the toy phone receiver up to her ear. In the first panel, the woman says, "this is your voice?", to which Wally nods and Puzz looks on. In the second panel, the woman cheerfully adds, "you have a sexy voice!", to which Puzz and Wally both look shocked. The third and fourth panels shows Puzz and Wally looking at each other, then back at the woman. The final panel shows Wally covering his face with one hand and ducking his face into Puzz's shoulder in embarrassment, while Puzz and the woman both laugh good-naturedly. End ID.]

#anonymous puzzler art #welcome home #apparently necessary disclaimer of THAT PICTURE IS NOT CLOWN IT'S ME (bc people just keep Assuming Things) #also don't read in too deep to any of these images LOL most of 'em were just idle doodling during meetings. no Lore Implications to be had #only silly goofs and gaffs and laffs here #long post /

[sergeifyodorov]

i’m in desperate need for a scholar to undertake the jhughes thesis

Jack Hughes has all the arrogance of a true American superstar, but none of the vulnerability. Jack Hughes has all the grace of an undersized, injury-prone forward, but none of the caution. Jack Hughes has all of the social status of a chosen one, but none of the leadership.

jack hughes is a middle child and despite my own lack of siblings i can Definitely tell -- the vicious competitive drive that made him become that good. quinn takes his stick and pulls out jack's braces. as much as the endless hughes brothers fascination can totally grate and i Get That you HAVE to look at each of these three as once part of a unit (especially Luke because he was drafted after Jack, and to his team -- he will only ever be in Jack's shadow, unless one day one of them leaves).

the hugheses are not a huge family -- that is, not a family of very large people -- and they've made a name for themselves as smooth-skating, agile skill players in spite of that, or perhaps to make up for it. jack as a result is notably smaller than a lot of other players both on the devils and in the league and you can Just Tell he's insecure about it. the skill his hughesness afforded him has made him better than other players his age when they were All small and size was less of an issue. when he wasn't so much of a boy among men. it was for this reason he was picked first overall, you see. when he made the NHL he was suddenly confronted by a faster game, of players who could and did just knock him to his ass, and he was suddenly thrust into a world where he wasn't the biggest fish in the usntdp pond and it threw him.

you see, that's another thing. skill in hockey means social status. they like to tell you that it doesn't, but there's a reason that the captain's most likely to be one of the best players on the team, if not outright the best. and in the usntdp jack was The Best. so he was made captain. so his teammates flocked to him. so it was allowed to all go to his head, so caufield and zegras -- the cady and gretchen to his regina george, and i don't mean that in a fun way -- congregated to him.

and now on the devils he might be the star but he's not the captain and because hockey players are Supposed to love their teammates he loves nico but nico's bigger than him and nicer than him and can grow real body hair. and jack's the darling of every teenage-girl devils fan, a fact which i understand and have minimal opinion on but fifty-fifty he either soaks up attention from or resents, or possibly both.

so yeah he's a greasy insecure uncharismatic controlling arrogant frat boy, and because he has a cute perfect smile and scores PPG people love him, and because he is not the archetype of the ubermasculine hockey superstar he believes that he is barely clinging to this thread. and i love him too don't get that mixed up

#asks #jack hughes #in this context love of course means Let Me Study Him Like The Bug... interesting > perfect #but i digress #like i don't think his problem could be exactly described as nico envy #but it's not not nico envy. he's envious of what nico represents more than nico himself really #also he is an IDIOT like im sorry dr lexi brown i understand many hockey players can read. i dont think he's one of em

[genericpuff]

CITY OF BLANK - IT DESERVES BETTER.

So it was implied recently by 66 (creator of City of Blank on Webtoons) on reddit that Webtoons had screwed over their recent return from a brief hiatus (one that they had arranged as they were moving and needed the time to focus on IRL stuff without deadlines looming over them, very valid). But it was confirmed in the episode description of their newest FP release:

So Webtoons has screwed over another creator in the advertising department. I don't want to point fingers, but we all know which series are constantly being prioritized in the banner reels while others are left buried to fend for themselves cough cough

Anyways, City of Blank is a webtoon that's been around for a loooong time. As in, Webtoons isn't even the first platform it's been hosted on, but this is the furthest it's come thanks to the Originals deal it got to be hosted exclusively on Webtoons. It's currently on its final season and while it got some brief amount of ad space at the premiere of its season, it since hasn't been given much ad space and even worst of all, not a single spot in the banner reel rotation since returning from its hiatus despite Webtoons promising 66 they would.

So now, unsurprisingly, City of Blank is struggling to be seen and read. It's a genuinely wonderful series with amazing thought-out writing (again this is a series that's been around for a while so you can tell the creator has put a lot of effort into refining the plot, which is a rarity on the platform these days) and the art is gorgeous and consistent, quite literally anime-quality.

Please, consider checking out City of Blank if you're looking for something new to read. It's a sci-fi series with loads of action, comedy, and character-driven subplots that delve into deeper topics like discrimination and social justice movements through a fantasy lens. If there's any series on the platform that's long overdue for recognition, attention, and opportunities for cool shit like printed books and TV adaptions, it's City of Blank.

#comic recommendation #webtoon recommendation #webtoon critical #fr fuck webtoons for doing this to their creators #there's literally zero reason for them to have comics like LO in the banner reels every week #WT never learned not to put all your eggs in one basket #let's take those eggs and throw 'em right back by reading the series they don't want to pay attention to

[spicyet]

What are you looking for here? Scroll back up.

Just kidding, here’s a treat:

#laishuro #laios touden #nakamoto toshiro #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #Fic writing takes time but at least my wife is helping m #e proof read #for now.. i can at least draw the possible scenes that i wANT TO WRITE SO BAD but don't know how to go about em yet lol #STILL!!! As you can see i refuse not to let these dudes feel themselves a lil bit :) #Laios wants to feel all of those textures and toshiro's heart will explode with all the intimacy #also Laios' getting into the intricacies of the East culture that he starts to notice and enjoy things about Toshiro #also both of these guys have dad issues #that alone gives me TOO MUCH to work with >:) #But I must admit 70% of these are self-indulgent and I will not stop <3 #Sam's doodles of the day #shuro

[politemagic]

everyone say congratulations to the first time homeowners!

edit: i may or may not have been inspired to write some headcanons based on this, if you're interested

#is this anything? idk if this is anything but i made it anyway #i wanna write the misadventures of the eepies in their haunted house. #i feel like ii is the ghosts' favorite. while they might mess with the others they are actively helpful to him #like if someone doesn't close the door all the way it'll just slowly click shut so he doesn't have to get up #iii is very jealous that the ghosts like ii so much. #he holds seances at least once a week (despite vessel's many protests) basically just like 'why don't u like me🥺' #iv tries to win over the ghosts by doing nice things for them #if you've seen the show ghosts on cbs i imagine him being a little like jay lololol #leaving the tv on for them to watch or cooking something so they can smell it #(they still love ii the most) #vessel is definitely at least a LITTLE BIT of a medium so to him the haunted house just feels really crowded #though sometimes he'll listen in on their conversations when he's bored #so it's not uncommon for him to suddenly laugh in the middle of a silent room #(the others definitely aren't jealous at all) #anyways if you read all that and would want to read more lmk because i WILL write it #sleep token #worshitposting #sleep token memes #sleep token vessel #sleep token ii #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #em's worshitposting

[irregularbillcipher]

the "paul is richie's uncle" headcanon is really cute but i really love it in tandem with the idea that ted is surprisingly involved in his little brother's life while paul is more just vaguely fond of his nephew, but doesn't really know all that much about his friends or his day-to-day life

like, the idea of ted knowing all his geeky little brother's friends really well, like letting them chill in his apartment every now and then to watch movies or driving them home when they have their stupid library study sessions or whatever is already pretty fun, just the idea that the Local Bastard has accidentally and begrudgingly been saddled with these two loser highschoolers because they're his little brother's dweebus friends that he doesn't want to admit he has a soft spot for, but it's made doubly funny if paul just has no idea that his nephew's best friend is the little brother of the Worst Guy In His Office. ted comes over to paul's desk one day with a stack of dog-eared manga like "pete forgot to take these this morning, so you give 'em back to richie for me, okay? also, ruth's right, stein and spirit are definitely fucking and i want him to stop fighting with her about it when i pick 'em up from the library" and paul is just like. okay. i have several questions about this.

#paul: why are you borrowing manga from my nephew #ted: i just told you! i'm sick of him and ruth bitching about it whenever i drive 'em somewhere #ted: and the only way to get richie to shut up when he's arguing about weeb shit is to beat his argument. you know what he's like with anim #paul: yeah ted i do know what he's like with anime. how do YOU know what he's like with anime #ted: well he's been watching it in my fucking living room since he was twelve so i don't have much of a choice now do i #paul: sorry he's been what #richie lipschitz #paul matthews #ted spankoffski #peter spankoffski #it's been a decade since i read or watched soul eater btw and i never finished it so take my stein/spirit reference with a grain of salt #i just remember there was an exes vibe. also i think richie agrees he just thinks ruth's specific headcanons are stupid

[ohninefive]

happy 1k to all my favorite lil freaks 💘

#me #mine #mirror selfie #for the followers only so don't reblog THANKS 💌 #also first one not under a read more yay 🕴️ #em face #em txt

[mychlapci]

Since we are bringing up egg preg and valve optivisors, Bayverse apparently has that exact thing, so hear me out.

Optimus right? Primes were known to give life so like, what if he got full of eggs? Dudes tryna do his duties while full of eggs.

You think he'd give one or a few to bots he trusted or who sought out parenthood?

Bayverse Optimus with that snatched waist and maternal chest... if his gestation tank ended up stuffed with eggs he'd probably get so round, showing so quickly... not a lot of people are surprised though, just the humans, really, but all the other bots have been waiting for their Prime to reproduce, and are excited to share the eggs with him...

Optimus calling various bots into his chambers, presenting them with his ovipositor, extended from his valve and throbbing with the effort it takes to keep the eggs inside. Only once the ovipositor is sheathed inside a warm valve he finally lets go, grunting as the eggs start slipping into the willing recipient, pressing against the internal nodes of his sopping wet valve <33 It's hard to stop the eggs when they're basically pouring out of him, but Optimus is known for his iron will, stopping once the other bot's belly is finally denting out... besides, he knows the ache won't last long, there's another volunteer waiting at the door

#i need you to understand that seeing the hatchlings in the bayverse movies was partially what ignited my transformers obsession #that and a fanfic me and my friend read out loud where optimus puts his eggs into prowl and then prowl puts 'em into... jazz i think? #i don't exactly remember it. what's important is that i agree with you #valveplug #eggpreg #pregnancy mention

[front-facing-pokemon]

#manaphy #THE BABY… and i don't mean baby in a Woah A Baby kind of way. i mean this is a baby child. who eats only blue gummis #we ever think about that? we're feeding this kid exclusively blue gummis. i always save three of 'em for postgame just for this guy #mostly 'cause i still have no idea how the types work on gummis and i just know that the best ones are the same type as you #i've read the guide on them before. like. supereffective types do this and that and whatever #but it's always explained so unclearly that i just never fuckin try it #like i have blue gummis. and a fire-type hero and electric-type partner #partner is supereffective AGAINST water. water is supereffective AGAINST hero. which one would be better to eat the blue gummi #whose perspective is it from!! i have no idea so i'll just feed every type of gummi to manaphy

[weaselbeaselpants]

Legit Bad-take/Bad-Faith Helluvaverse critics you should not trust if you see them

Interpersonal squabbles within the critical tag are irrelevant, sorry. This here is a genuine warning against users you should keep your distance from in regards to any VivziePop drama-discourse because their names may come up and you should know what it is that crossed the line.

Starlatte/Starvader/HonestHazbinCritiques/OhGodDude and Woomycritiques/RaySquid - Serial harasser(s). Long story incoming. Starlatte was/is a Vivcritical who got involved in the fandom back in 2019/2020 when she was a minor and didn't tell anyone. Her blog on tumblr was HonestHazbinCritiques where she made some good points but also managed to find/be a part of everyone else's takes in the critical community. Her relationship with several criticalblogs turned sour when she started lashing out, talking over people, being accused of faking her age, and doing stuff like arguing with irl sexworkers abt how they should feel about Angel Dust. Whatever her age actually was at the time, she was also sending her own rewrite scripts and fanwritten episodes to Spindlehorse in order to 'fix' Hazbin. In 2021 Star returned to Tumblr under the name "Oh-God-Dude" w/o disclosing to new people who she was while also starting shit. When said new ppl found out her past and got mad at her, she proceeded to block-backtalk every one of them.

Woomycritiques (twitter handle: Raysquid) is a critical blogger who stans Star and calls everyone else in the critical community an obsessed stalker while lashing out herself. She accused others of racism (unfounded), her friends of predation just for being proship (not the 'cest and underage is good'-kind, the "I like some problematic stuff in fic-context"-kind), and heckled Dirgentlemen over how much they should hate Helluva, and more.

Regardless of if you believe Woomy and Star are the same person, which ppl do, they are both -by now- adult persons who have been asked to stop and DIDN'T, which is why people don't trust them. Star and Woom were asked to tone it down, stop making accusations and even asked by many criticals to leave and stop talking about Helluvaverse as she/they seem to have nothing good to say about it. To put that into perspective, cuz I know some HH/HB fans are gonna be reading this: the people who've self-styled themselves antis and criticals begged this person to leave cuz she had nothing nice to say and was being a nuisance. I know the stans think that's all of us anyway, so let that sink in.

LincarRox aka ToyTaker - Creep. Nasty jealous stalker freak who got kicked out of Helluvaverse servers and Aminos for saying nasty shit like how he "wants to put a baby" in Viv. No really. He took his shit and grievances to BadWebComics wiki under the name TheToyTaker while also seemingly trying to get work at Spindlehorse in order to have access to Viv directly and to 'fix' her show. He did so by faking his animation portfolio. BWW did eventually catch on and kick him out but yeah....bad. May or may not still be going under his old pseudonyms, but regardless if you see someone talking weirdly sexually abt Viv while saying they were "let go" both by SH and BWW, get out now. That's probably him.

Animation Call-Out - Bigoted shitlord. Twitter user who rags on Vivz' controversies w other people but also hates gays and BIPOCs. Admitted to submitting one of the anonymous reviews against Spindlehorse "for fun" amidst legitimate ex-employees. All of the reviews, even the ones that seem the most validating/believable should be taken with a grain of salt I believe especially since they are coming to us anonymously, but when a racist person admits to def being one of those fake reviews for "Lolz" sake, that's def when shit's hit the fan.

DoodleToons - Also bigoted creeperlooser. Altright white kid who hates BIPOC existing in anything and admits to hating Viv's stuff for their LGBTisms and 'demons'. Yes, there legit are bad-faith critics who are homophobic. Just because Viv and her crew have a way of saying that's EVERY critic of her work doesn't mean there aren't shitty people out there.

#read first paragraph #I'm not putting Lemon or Chai or whoever here just cuz u don't like em #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #call out post #call out tw #hazbin hotel critical #spindlehorse critical #critical fandom

[majimasleftasscheek]

Here’s a brain scratcher aniki, besides Kiryu and Kazuma-San what kind of parent would each of the main cast be. (Just the major players from the games IE protags and antags. You can include Ichiban’s party to!)

let's see...

Majima: good! but irresponsible parent. would spoil immensely, compensates for things he can't do or messes up. very open to whatever the kid wants/thinks but can be unintentionally harsh when scolding. promotes living to the fullest but will worry to the expense of his health when he can't be around to take care of things. will be overbearing with good intentions but suffocating.

Saejima: very nurturing and attentive but tough, a bit overbearing on the life lessons and shit like that. would leave a child to their own devices often to encourage individual growth and accepts failures well, very patient. would be hard to get a read on though normally, leaving a kid to guessing how he's feeling/doing, making his parenting feel a bit lonesome.

Nishiki: great with kids in a cool uncle sort of way. would be friends with his kids vs being their actual parent as he worries a lil too much about what they think of him. spoils them a lot, especially if it makes him look pretty great in front of others. doesn't handle problems very well and has only the basics of advice for a struggling child - would have to ask others what to do.

Ichiban: good parent but bumbling. would try his best to be a good dad but realistically good vibes and idealism isn't always enough. would rely on others for help with kids, especially if it's something he can't provide himself. would teach them to be kind and open minded, careful to not be too strict. would prolly relate the most to kids, being a child at heart himself though his personality would make it seem like he's not taking things seriously.

Ryuji: would raise a kid to be just like himself, brutish and confident. the type to be like, let's go to the junkyard and smash car windows for fun. values traits that align with his own like strength and a strong will - would be disappointed in anything he'd deem too whimsical. would think it's funny if his kid rebelled against them and teach them the hard way that it wouldn't fly but also encourage them to keep trying to be their own person anyway.

Daigo: would be a good parent to the best of his ability, compensating for his own experiences (Dojima lol). very patient and a good listener, excels at consoling to where his kid would feel very comfy telling him anything. can be a bit too soft and unintentionally ignorant to underlying problems a child might have. a child might feel guilty towards him for his kindness and oppositely *not* want to dump their worries on him. sometimes plays too much a teacher than a parent.

Mine: no lmao actual answer: he'd suck ass. he'd be a tiger parent, strict and cold. growing up is about accomplishment and being self sufficient. if a kid wants his time, better schedule an appointment. would teach a kid the harsh realities of life whilst ignoring the good stuff to temper expectations. punishments are often harsh. doesn't really relate to his kid other than they both breathe and blink.

Akiyama: do I even gotta say it ksdlagjlds he would be *squint* alright at parenting in the same way it's alright to drink bleach. he's there and he exists but is irresponsible. can't be counted on to make important dates on time or remember things a kid needs. frequently has to ask for help (Hana). will 100% give a child secondhand smoke and be skeazy about the types of life lessons he'd not necessarily teach outright but would imply with his behavior.

Tanimura: I don't got much of a read on him tbh but being that he's got a gambling problem, I feel like that would have some play in childcare lol, that being he's prolly a bit inattentive until it comes to money. he's a bit skeavy so he would prolly turn a blind eye to his kid doing something wrong and enforces rules poorly. would at least instill good teachings to help others, tho how, would be sketchy.

Shinada: he'd do pretty well I think if he had a stable living situation. he's very passionate about his interests and would share that with his kid, and if the kid wants to do their own thing, he'd encourage following that too. being goofy, he'd be a fun dad. I'm prolly the only motherfucker on earth who ships him with Milky-chan so I think they'd do really well as parents who come from rough lives trying to make a better one for their kid.

Sagawa: including him cuz he's my fav villain. he defo seems the type to have a kid somewhere with an estranged partner who left him first. he's caring, in a sinister type of way, one that makes you feel like you're being manipulated but not sure enough to say. "he knows what's best" and would for sure turn a child against his partner. in an alternate sense, he could also lead a double life, being an actual decent person to his family but a dickhead on the side. very psychopathic.

#I don't uhhhh remember a lot of the antags lol so I won't mention em cuz I wouldn't get a good enough read on them tbh #but hope these thoughts are entertaining to someone #my hcs #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #I don't wanna tag all the names kdslgkjlgds

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds #trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious #also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious #worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic) #(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely #manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that #c) something else(??) ) #roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it. #best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child #higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research #but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE #not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not #nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but #then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet #new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice #also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny. #they complement each other well and are both quick & clever #esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t #em is also good) but like #please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater? #like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny #beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral. #god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media #bc the ideas i have are so funny. #also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.