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ecmlol · 1 year

Text

Dick on daddy mode 10

Back on earth

Everyone is worried about dick. He has stopped looking out for the team and Bruce has picked up where he left off. Dick always mumbles that he has to be mom and dad and he doesn't have time for anything else.

It been exactly a month and today everything changed. Mari has been crying for 3 minutes straight.In this house hold that is not normal. Rachel finds her in her crib in tears she picks her up and tries to quite her.

It's ok your big sister has you. Let's go find daddy.

She knocks on dick and kory's door and nothing. She walks all over the house and nothing . She looks around the kitchen for a note. Nothing she asked the boys if they have seen dick but of course not they where still in bed and Bruce is out of town because he had a business trip that lasted for 2 days and then he promised to be back.

She goes back to dick and kory's room. She knocks again. Still nothing. She opens the door and sees dick is on the floor. She rushes into check to see if he's alive.

Dick dick?? She checks his pulse and breathing. Everything seems normal.

Tim gar I need you Rachel yells out.

Mari starts to cry again and then she goes silent in Rachel's arms like she had a on and off switch.

A few minutes late gar and Tim run into the room

What happened? Gar ask

Are they dead tim ask

No I don't think so.

Off world

Kory is has been missing everyone on earth so bad she wanted to contact dick and mari. Kom can reached her because they are blood. So she figured if she could concentrate hard enough maybe she could reach mar . And if she can contact her maybe she can reach dick if she was pregnant. If her connection to dick could reach him she would know for sure she's pregnant .

Kory is mediating on her old bed her hand on her stomach and her mind focus on dick and mari. Her mind keeps focusing on dick .

Dick doesn't know where he is. The room is dark and spacious.and then he hears her.Kory

Come on dick feel hear me my loves.

Kory dick shouts

Kory hears mari crying and dick calling out to her .

Kory eye fly open and she thought she saw a dark figure in the middle of her room before it disappear and the voices dies in her head.

Back on earth

Rachel was able to break dick and mari back from where ever they where.

What did you do? Dick say as he opens his eyes and see Rachel staring down at him he notices mari is crying next to him.

I brought you back from were ever you where.

I know you think your helping but please next just leave me alone.

Dick why I found you on the floor completely out of it.

I think I was with Kory I heard her and then I woke up.

Wait your having visions like kory gar said

I don't know if it was a vision but I swear I wasnt here I was someplace else.

Off world

There is a knock

Kory gets up and turns the light on

Who is it

I'm the healer

Come In come in.

Kory lays down

How may i help

I need to see if you can sense if I'm pregnant.

Ah I see

The healer who kory barely remember walking over and holds there hands over her.

Hum interesting

I see a past pregnancy very recent

And?

Yes but I sense something different about this one but it is too new to tell.

I knew it. Wait you said different? How

To soon to tell but do not worry . Give it time to settle in my queen

Please don't call me that

As you wish

The healer leaves .

I'm pregnant we did it . Kory says with delight. Kory is now sure she really did contact dick.

Back on earth dick has come out of the fog just a little . He is making dinner for everyone.

Everyone thinks it's a good start. Rachel has contacted bruce to let him know what's going on.

Off world

Connor is in heaven he is loving life on tameran he doesn't mind being tied up and walked around like a slave by Kom.

Connor is playing with Kon by the bathing pool. While Kory and Kom talk.

Sister you are absolutely glooming Kom say

Thank you. Connor was right I am pregnant and I swear I had a vision of dick and my little girl.

Connor did you hear that you're right about koriander being pregnant

Awesome all that trying didn't go to waste. Connor say.

They both laugh

Ah I see I hope they are well

I couldn't tell. Speaking about my family when do you think we can go home.

Sister you just arrived. I need to make sure kon will be strong enough to survive the trip . I want him to be atleast 5 lb heavier.

That reasonable plus you want a heir .

Of course I need one to take place of my current one.

If kon isn't able to live here why do you think a nother baby by the same male would be about to?

You do crazy things for love my sister .

Connor get up with Kon in his arms. He is holding him like a teddy bear.kom finds it endearing and Kory agree

How are you two getting along? Kory ask

Great I think he's starting to like me. Connor says.

Oh course he likes you . You are his father he just has to get use to having you around.He has never seen anyone that looks like himself before.

Yeah I do stick out here.

So does he. Kom say.

Connor smiles

I have never seen our little one so happy and actives before. Kom says

Kon is smiling and kicking his legs. Like he's dancing.

He's getting stronger I can't wait to see if a yellow sun makes him even more like me. Connor say.

Yes he is .I wish I could see that. Kom say

Me too. Connor say with a frown.

Dont be sad you'll have our son to keep you busy and your other family the Titans.

But I want to stay with you Conner say

Kom stands up and cups his face.

We have discussed this I will be with you in spirit and if I could have more time with you I would.i am a queen of a planet I have responsible here.

Not to interrupt this moment but Why don't you let me take kon and head back to earth and when it's time for Connor to come back he can take another ship.

Yeah let me stay and make sure your pregnancy goes well. Kory tell her I was very helpful to you wasnt i? Connor is almost in tears.

You where wonderful connor and I was very grateful for you. I'm going to need you again in 6 month connor .

Sounds like you might need to stay also sister.

Kory sigh.

I can't I need to go home. I'm giving you two two weeks after that I'm taking kon and leaving.

Kory takes a smiling kon and his bubble.

Help me with this so I can leave so you two so you can fuck your brains out.

Ok connor says and helps kory with the bubble.

See you in a few hour and I mean it get to work. Connor I'm counting on you mari and dick are counting on you

That's a lot of pressure. Connor say

Sooner you knock her up the sooner your son can live outside of a bubble don't you want that ?

Yes

Good then get going connor

On it

Sister I am the only one that demands things from him kom say

Kory rolls her eyes and leaves.

Conner stares after her and then frowns

What is the matter connor.

I'm scared I will disappoint her and you. Connor say

Never you always find a way to please me.

I do?

Yes do not worry my sister she can not leave until I say so .

On earth dick is doing the dish when he just blacks out .he wakes up in a lighted room unsure where he is. Then he heard crying. Mari he looks down and mari is in tears

Hey daddy here baby girl.

Dick? Mari

Kory?

Yeah it's me

How am I here?

A flash of connor head buried in between kom breast flashed between dick and kory sight

Sister?

Sorry

What was that? Dick asked

My sister and connor trying to make a nother baby . I think because my nephew is attached me me via my left breast I'm even more connected to My sister.

Why can I hear you but I cant see you .

What do you see

Gold ever where.

Kory opens her eyes and sits up

Dick turn around .

Dick is standing in the far corners of the room.

your here

I'm here? Dick tries touching something. He can't feel anything. He notices he's wearing different clothes.

Dick? This time it Rachel .

Are you ok?

Yes I'm with kory .

Dick?

Yes kory I'm here but Rachel is too

But I only see you and mari

Tell kory hi and I miss her.

Will do

Rachel disappear

Dick dick? Kory say

I'm ok I'm here we are here

Is it really you ? Or am I just dreaming. Kory ask.

I'm a vision maybe I see these things so differently now because of mari

How is she

She's gaining weight.

That's good . Can you see me?

I can now

This is konrad or just Kon

Wow he is real

Yeah and he was starving when I got here my sister doesn't produce milk like I do . It's was awful he was so thin when I first saw phim. Kory tells him. Kory say It's only been a day but you can already see a difference in him . His coloring is better he doesn't look so pasty to her anymore.

We just ran out of the freezer full this morning she eating so much now.

What about the freezer in the training room?

I forgot about that dick says

There is a banging on the door.

Dick and mari disappears

Koryandr open up kom say

Damn it what!

Kory opens the door and kom is in a robe

What ??

I can't finish I keep hearing you somehow talking to dick . How are you even accomplishing that any way?

Well I think I'm only doing it because I'm pregnant to be honest. Me and you are sisters so that how I see what you can see but it seems like if i have the powers it always different then yours.

Ah. Well what ever your doing please stop it's very distracting when I'm trying to fulfill my duty's as queen .

Here take your baby I think he's done any way . I think that's why we were so connected in the first place.

Kory pops the bubble and quickly hands him off to his mother. She s secures him to her flat stomach and covers up.

Now you can finish getting laid without me in your head.

And how am I supposed to do that with him in the room.

He's milk drunk you have maybe a hour or two where he will be knocked out don't waste it talking to me. Kory say as she closes the door.

Dick is laying on the floor in the kitchen.

Welcome back rachel say

I really need to schedule this so I don't hurt myself

No more driving and using a knife for you until Kory comes back.

I totally agree

Dick is back in the golden room

Kory?

Dick! Hi I'm so glad I can get you back.

Me too but I have so many questions

Ok shoot

How are we doing this?

I m pregnant we did .

You are we are ?! That awesome

I think that's how I'm doing this.

Dick is fading in and out.

Not to complain but is there some how we can give me a heads up . You sort take over my hold body.

I do ?

Yeah

Ok I'll have to maybe just bring out here then send you back so you can just sit some place ?

That works give me 2 minutes to get to the living room

Kory breaks her concentration on dick and then she waits.

Back on earth

Kory is pregnant dick shout to the whole house before running into the other room with mari.

Pregnant awesome rachel says

Dick get comfortable and then he's back in the gold room with kory sitting in a chair infront of him

#dc titans #daddy dick #dick x kory #koryand'r #koriand'r #mar'i grayson #rachel #komandr #superboy #connor kent #dick grayson #gar dc #dc tim drake

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ichorai · 1 year

Text

blueberries ; five.

pairing ; joey tribbiani x gn!reader x rachel green chapter synopsis ; the one with accidental love confessions, friendly one night stands, and marinara sauce. wc ; 10.0k warnings / includes ; talks of sex/suggestive content, cursing, ross is an asshole in this one, a tiny connor cameo, rachel is a mess </3 and joey finally Realizes how he feels !!

series masterlist. main masterlist.

“I’ll pay you back this time, I promise!” Joey begged, clasping his hands together with a pleading pout.

With a sigh, Chandler pulled his wallet out, slapping a crisp, five dollar bill onto the table. “Yeah? Where’s all this money coming from, then?”

Lowering his voice, Joey leaned forward to whisper, “I’m helpin’ out at the NYU Med School with some… research.”

Obviously not whispering quietly enough, the entire group turned to him, interests piqued.

“What kind of research?” you asked, which made Joey flinch and snap his head to you.

“Oh, uh… just… you know! Science, and stuff.”

The rest of you stared at him with skeptical expressions.

“Science?” parroted Ross. “Hm, don’t think I’ve heard of that one.”

Relenting, Joey sank lower into the cafe’s seat. “Alright, alright—it’s a fertility study.”

Snorting, Monica chimed, “Please tell me you’re only donating your time.” The rest of you chuckled along with her.

“Come on, you guys, it’s not that big of a deal,” huffed Joey. “Really, I just go down there every other day and… make my contribution to the project. At the end of two weeks, I’ll get seven hundred bucks!”

“Wow,” said Phoebe. “You’re gonna be making money hand over fist!”

You choked on your sip of coffee, and Chandler had to sympathetically pound your back to get you to stop.

It was Rachel’s birthday, and you were in Monica’s kitchen, helping her chop up some vegetables for the birthday barbecue the group was throwing. Joey and Chandler strode in shortly after, reenacting cavemen with stupid accents.

“Hey,” you interrupted, which made the two freeze mid-chest pound. “Your girlfriend called, Joe. She’s gonna be late.”

A couple days ago, Joey and Melanie started casually dating. Though, much to your dismay, he seemed to really like her. Not that you didn’t want Joey to be happy or anything… you just weren’t all that fond of Melanie. She was rather dull, if you had to put it bluntly. All she really seemed to care about were fruit baskets and, from what Joey’s told you, sex.

“How’s it going with her?” Phoebe queried. “Is she becoming your special someone?”

A grin crossed over Joey’s features. “I don’t know, she’s… she’s pretty great!”

“Yeah, pretty great with fruit baskets,” you mumbled under your breath, loud enough for Joey to catch.

“Sure, she can be a bit… one-dimensional, but it’s been going really well!” he defended, grabbing a piece of carrot from your cutting board and popping it into his mouth.

Monica grinned. “Yeah? What’s she think of your little science project?”

Joey scoffed at the notion. “You really think I’m gonna tell a girl I like that I’m also seein’ a cup?” Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.”

Taking a swig of beer, Chandler sardonically noted, “Crazy bitch.”

You rolled your eyes. “She cornered me the other day asking if I’ve ever slept with you, you know.”

Stiffening, Joey tilted his head. “What? What did you say?”

“Obviously, I told her no!” you shot back. “I asked her why, and she said she thought we were together at one point and thereby assumed we’ve had sex, so she wanted my advice, because you always seemed to push her away.”

The Italian crossed his arms in thought. “Huh. Weird.”

“Hm, I wonder why she thought the two of you were together at one point,” Chandler postulated, staring pointedly at Joey.

“What happened then?” Phoebe asked.

“What do you think happened?” you sighed, washing your hands off and flicking the excess water away once you were done chopping up the vegetables. “She sent me a fruit basket.”

The two girls snickered.

“Hey, why haven’t you slept with her yet?” Monica tilted her head at Joey. “Normally, you don’t last the first night with someone you’re going out with.”

“Well, I’ve still got a week left to go on the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money, I’m not allowed to conduct any personal experiments, if you know what I mean,” he said.

Twisting her face with disgust, Monica shook her head. “Joey, we always know what you mean.”

A part of you wanted to say that having sex really didn’t affect sperm count in the long run—you’d known thanks to an ex-boyfriend of yours who had been a urologist—but, much to your surprise, you bit your tongue and withheld the information.

Chandler and Joey were off to the balcony to start the grill’s fire, and not long after, Ross appeared through the door, looking despondent. He was clutching a large bag that looked nearly twice your weight.

“Woah,” said Phoebe. “How long did you think this barbecue was going to last?”

The tall man blew out a long exhale. “I’m going to China,” he mumbled, setting the bag down with a loud thud.

“What?” his sister asked. “You’re going to China?”

“It’s for the museum!” replied Ross. “Someone found a bone, we want the bone, and they don’t want us to have the bone—so I’m going to try to persuade them to give it to us—really, it’s a whole big boner thing. I shouldn’t have said boner. You get what I mean.”

Narrowing your eyes, you hummed, “Maybe if they found it in China, don’t you think it should stay there with the Chinese? I mean, it’s rightfully theirs.”

Ross was about to counter, mouth hanging open, but found no words to argue with.

You rolled your eyes. “Gosh, Ross, you’ll be just as bad as the British Museum stealing from people of color. Way to go.”

You turned, about to march away from him, but he called out after you, “I’m gonna be gone for a week! Won’t you at least say goodbye?”

“Bye!” you barked out, striding out to the balcony with Chandler and Joey.

“Hey, you okay? You look all…” Chandler trailed off to impersonate a snarl and raised his hands to form claws.

“Charming as ever, my dear Chandler. It’s a wonder you’re still single,” you mock-sighed dreamily, leaning against him and batting your eyelashes. The two of you laughed, and you pulled away. “Ross is going to China.”

Joey’s eyebrows rose. “The country?”

“No, the broken pile of dishes in his mom’s yard,” Chandler sarcastically quipped.

“Yeah, and he’s being a real dick,” you muttered, crossing your arms.

It was then that Ross peeked his head through the window, stepping out with mild difficulty due to his gangly limbs.

“Did Y/N tell you guys I’m going to China?” he asked, which earned him a sharp glare from you. The other two men nodded their heads. “Also, do you guys know who Carl is?”

“Hm, let’s see—Alvin, Simon, Theodore… nope, ‘fraid I don’t know him,” said Chandler.

Ross pulled a sour face. “Apparently Rachel’s out having drinks with him.”

“Oh, no, how can she do that when she’s never shown any interest in you whatsoever?” said Joey, and you high-fived him with an amused chortle.

Sick of Ross moping around and pining over Rachel, Chandler admonished, “Just forget about her, man! You’ve been stuck in the friendzone for way too long for anything to happen.”

“He’s right,” added Joey. “Please, just move on. Go to China, eat Chinese food!”

“I don’t know… I guess I have no choice,” Ross lamented, fiddling with the small, wrapped gift. “Listen, Y/N, I know you’re pissed at me, but will you please make sure Rachel gets this? And that she knows it’s from me?”

Rolling your eyes, you snatched the gift from him and tucked it safely into the pockets of your baggy jeans, refusing to meet his gaze. “When does your plane leave?”

“In two hours, but I should get going now if I wanna catch it.”

“Well, bye then. Travel safely.”

“I don’t want to leave knowing you’re mad—”

You blew out a deep sigh. “It’s fine, Ross. Just go. We’re fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Really? Because it doesn’t—”

“Just go!” the other two guys exclaimed, shooing Ross out. The taller man relented, and climbed back into the apartment.

Joey wrapped his arms around you from behind, and you suddenly felt uncomfortable. Sure, it was alright when he wasn’t dating anyone but now, knowing that he was doing this with you when he had a girlfriend he very much liked—it made your chest feel tight, like a large stone was weighing down on your lungs.

“Yikes, that was hard to watch. Remind me not to get on your bad side,” he said, amused.

“You have, Joey.”

“Remind me not to get on your bad side again,” he clarified.

Clearing his throat, Chandler propped his hands on his hips. “Hey, lovebirds. Are we going to get the fire started, or what?”

“Anyway, that’s when me and my friends started this fruit-basket business!” explained Joey’s girlfriend, who was precariously perched on his lap and gesturing wildly with her hands. “We call ourselves The Three Basketeers.”

Awkwardly, the rest of you let out a couple of forced chuckles. You had to swallow down the urge to roll your eyes.

“Can we open my presents now?” Rachel whined, bouncing in her spot with excitement. Normally, you would’ve wanted to have dinner first and save presents for last, but you were eager to get away from the topic of fruit baskets.

The group headed over to the couches, but you held Joey back, a small smile across your lips.

“Hold on there, hot shot. How’s it going, how are you holding up with Melanie?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Joey winced. “Ugh, not so good, to be honest. She thinks tonight’s the night we’re gonna complete the transaction, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, I know what you mean, Jo,” you bit out, rolling your eyes. “Well, have you ever thought about… you know, just giving instead of receiving?”

There was a brief moment of silence. “What do you mean?” His voice lowered, and he leaned closer to you.

Cocking an eyebrow, you whispered, “Well, there’s oral, there’s fingering, there’s thigh riding… toys work too, if you’ve got any of those. Which, if you don’t, I know for a fact Chandler has some.”

The man across from you ogled you with wide eyes. “Oh. Oh.”

“Just think about it, okay? I promise, she’ll be completely smitten with you by the time you’re done.”

You were just about to head to the couches to watch Rachel open her gifts before he loosely caught your wrist.

“Thanks,” he said, wholly sincere. You smiled at him, patting his cheek affectionately, before heading off. A second later, he called out, “Wait, why do you know that Chandler has sex toys?!”

“I’m gonna take a wild guess here,” said the birthday girl, holding a fruit basket, “this is from Melanie?”

Joey’s girlfriend clapped excitedly, just about to launch into a tirade about the perfectly curated fruits she had selected, but was promptly interrupted when Rachel grabbed another gift.

“Ooh, this one’s light. It rattles… it’s—” She pulled a box out of the bag. “Travel scrabble.”

Joey and Chandler grinned at each other, but you could already see the disappointment in Rachel’s eyes.

“Thanks,” she said, dryly, before shoving the box to the side, much to Chandler’s dismay.

The rest of the presents were opened one by one—Monica had gotten Rachel a cute blouse that you just knew she would return for a different piece later, Phoebe got her about a dozen charm bracelets, claiming she didn’t know which one Rachel would like the most, so she just got her all of them, and Joey got her a Dr. Seuss book, much to her dismay. Rachel got around to your bag, which held a pack of scented candles, and bundles of fairy lights for her to hang in her room.

She looked pretty happy with those, which made you sigh out in relief. Rachel was a bit hard to get gifts for, considering she already had practically everything.

Finally, you pulled out Ross’ gift from your pocket, handing it to her. “Here, Rach. This is from Ross.”

The brunette grinned, tearing the little package open thinking it’d be something nerdy, like a magnifying glass or a miniature dinosaur figure from the museum.

“Oh, my God,” she said when she finally opened it. “He remembered!”

You peered over to see a large, bejeweled pin held precariously between her fingers.

“Remembered what?” Phoebe asked.

“It was like, months ago, we were walking by this antique store, and I saw this exact pin in the window and I told him it was just like the one my grandmother had when I was a little girl—and… oh, I just can’t believe he got it for me!”

Chandler scoffed. “Sure, it’s nice, but can you play it on a plane?” he drummed his hands along the Travel Scrabble box, before sinking further into his seat when you glared at him.

“Oh, it’s so pretty,” Phoebe chimed when Rachel reached out to give her a closer look. “That must’ve cost him a fortune!”

“I can’t believe he got you that,” said Monica.

“What, Ross? Remember in college when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?” Chandler commented, completely unaware of what he’d just said.

The rest of you stared at him with wide eyes.

“What did you just say?” whispered Rachel.

It took a second for Chandler to realize where he’d gone wrong. He sat upright, spluttering and coughing out simultaneously, “Crystal duck?”

“No,” Rachel said. “No, no… the, uhm, the ‘love’ part?”

Chandler struggled to find his tongue, eventually giving up and sinking his face into his hands.

“Oh, my God,” Rachel softly whispered. “This is just… this is unbelievable! I just—I can’t believe Ross is… oh, my God. This is huge.”

“No, it’s not! It’s small, it’s tiny, it’s petite, it’s wee!” Chandler pleaded, trying to get her to calm down.

“I think this is so great,” said Monica, clasping her hands together. “I mean, you and Ross! Did you have any idea?”

Still stunned, Rachel shook her head. “No, none at all. I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just…” She turned to you. “What else did he say? Does he want to go out with me?”

“Considering that he’s desperately in love with you, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he wouldn’t mind getting a cup of coffee, or something,” you replied, grasping her shoulders. “Listen, Rachel, don’t freak out about this. Take some time to think it over, and you can talk to Ross when he gets back.”

All of a sudden, she jerked away from you, standing up. “What do you mean when he gets back? Where is he? I need to talk to him!”

“He’s in China!” Chandler stepped in.

“The country,” Joey clarified.

Checking the flight information, Monica told her, “His flight doesn’t leave for another forty-five minutes.”

“What about the time difference?” cried Chandler, desperate to keep Rachel from confronting Ross, knowing that it was his fault that she knew in the first place.

“From here to the airport?” you asked, scoffing. “Rachel, he’ll be back in a week—that’s basically nothing! Just take this time to think it over—”

Already determinedly striding to the door, Rachel called over her shoulder, “I have to try and get to him before he goes. It’s just… too big to not talk about right now.”

“What are you gonna say?” asked Monica.

“I don’t know!” she replied, breathless.

Though you were still quite pissed with Ross, you put a hand on Rachel’s forearm. “Honey, if you’re going to break his heart, that can wait until after he’s back.”

Rachel’s eyes met yours, uncertain. “I don’t know,” she repeated. “Maybe I’ll know when I see him. All I know is that I can’t wait a week. This is just too big of something to sit on.”

More protests were on the tip of your tongue, but you held them down, well aware that your words would only fall upon deaf ears.

She already had a foot out the door when Chandler screamed, “Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first!”

Exasperated, Rachel huffed out a sigh, and stomped out the door, on her way to go see Ross.

She didn’t make it.

Ross had already gotten on the plane by the time Rachel arrived at the airport.

When she got back, Chandler and Joey and Melanie had already left, leaving just you, Phoebe, and Monica in the apartment. Monica had asked her again what she was planning on telling him when he got back. When Rachel finally admitted that the idea of dating Ross sounded really nice, Monica jumped up to wrap her arms around her, smiling widely.

“Oh, we’d be like friends-in-law!” she exclaimed, beaming. “The best part is that you already know everything about him! It’s like starting out on the fifteenth date.”

Phoebe countered, “Well, at the fifteenth date, you’re already in such a relationship-y place. You’re super committed at that point. You know, what happens if it doesn’t work out?”

“Why isn’t it working out?” Monica shot back, bristling. “Is he not cute enough for you? Does he not make enough money? Is there someone else?”

Rachel opened and closed her mouth several times, flubbering for words, before placatingly placing her hands on Monica’s shoulders. “Okay, Mon, you need to calm down. No, there is no one else.” Taking a pause, she looked to you. “Y/N, you’re the closest to Ross out of all of us. What do you think?”

Surprised at the sudden question, you could only offer her a gentle suggestion. “Rach, as much as I love the idea of two of my friends getting together—I just don’t think it’d be a good idea. Obviously, if you like him, you should go for it, but… think about it. You wouldn’t even be thinking twice about dating him if Chandler hadn’t let it slip that he loved you. Just think about your own feelings towards him—don’t get with him just because he loves you. That’s not fair to either of you.”

Though that wasn’t the answer that she was probably looking for, Rachel nodded, pursing her lips to the side. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Y/N. I’ll think about it.” She stood up, teeth worrying into her bottom lip. “I’m gonna go to bed now. Thank you for the party and the gifts, guys.”

With that, she turned and strode back into her room, softly shutting the door behind her.

“It was amazing!” Joey gushed, thanking you profusely. “That thing you told me about thigh-riding! Man, oh man!”

You huffed, setting down the sandwich you were having, not feeling very hungry anymore. “Too much information, Joe. I’m eating here!”

Your complaint falling upon deaf ears, he carried on, “It was just amazing. Not just for her—for me, too. It’s like, all of a sudden, I’m blind, but all my other senses are heightened, you know? It’s like I was able to appreciate it on another level.”

From beside you, Chandler snorted into his coffee. “I didn’t even know you had another level.”

“I know!” Joey exclaimed. “Neither did I! Say, Y/N, you have any more advice for me?”

If you went back in time a year ago and told your past-self that Joey Tribbiani came to you for sex advice, you would’ve laughed right in your future-self’s face.

“Praise goes a long way,” you said, absentmindedly toying with the bread of your sandwich. “Or degrade her, if she likes it better that way. A little hand action and some sweet talk is very effective. Now, can we stop talking about sex? I’m trying to have my lunch here!”

A week passed by in a breeze. You were in Monica’s apartment, listening to Joey and Chandler rave about the haircuts Phoebe had given them.

“You look nice,” you told Joey, reaching over to trace the freshly-cut strands. “Though, I do have to say that I’ll miss the long hair.”

“I’ll grow it out for you,” he promised, grasping your hand within his.

The door swung open then, and in tumbled an out-of-breath Rachel, who had a zebra-print plaster over her forehead.

“Airport! Airport!” she screeched, panting. “Ross… not alone! Julie—arm around her! Flowers! Oh, cramp! Cramp!” She clutched her side and doubled over in pain.

“Okay, I think she’s trying to tell us something!” Chandler sarcastically told the rest of the group. You shoved him to the side with a roll of your eyes and made your way to Rachel, gently asking if she was alright.

Completely ignoring your question, Rachel pointed an accusing finger at Chandler, jabbing it into his chest. “You said he liked me!” she shrieked. “You… you—!”

As if on cue, Ross strode into the open apartment, large bag in hand, and a woman on the other. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Why’d you run up so fast, Rach?” asked Ross, laughing slightly.

“I, uhm… I thought we were racing?” she replied, eye visibly twitching. You patted her shoulder sympathetically.

Shrugging off the weird response, Ross greeted the rest of you, giving his sister a hug, clapped Joey and Chandler on the backs, and gave Phoebe a kiss on the cheek. He stopped in front of you, spreading his arms sheepishly.

Though the two of you separated on not-so-great terms, you didn’t have the heart to be angry at him for an entire week.

You stepped forward and gave him a brief embrace, before pulling away and patting his cheek with a little more force than necessary.

“You still mad at me?” he asked, looking genuinely uncertain.

“When am I not, Ross?” you sighed, shaking your head. “It’s good to have you back.”

He smiled in relief, before stepping away to introduce his new girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her. “Okay, everyone, this is Julie.”

The rest of you chimed your hellos, though not without sending worried glances to Rachel.

“Hi,” said Julie, smiling tiredly. “But I’m not here, you haven’t met me. I’ll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don’t have twenty hours of cab and plane on me.”

“And bus!” Ross added.

“Oh, my God, right? The spitting guy, and the screaming… it was terrible!”

“Yeah, you guys have to hear this story,” said Ross.

Julie nodded emphatically. “Right, we’re on this bus that’s easily two-hundred years old. And this guy—”

“And the chicken poops in her lap,” Rachel interrupted, deadpan.

Everybody stared at her, mildly confused.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the brunette said, looking shocked at herself. “I just gave away the ending, didn’t I? Oh, it’s just that I heard this story in the cab, like, three times and it’s all I can think about.” She grimaced, turning to rest her forehead against your shoulder in embarrassment.

In an effort to divert the attention away from Rachel, Monica clapped her hands. “Wow, this is… how did this happen, Ross?”

“Oh, Ross and I were in grad school together!” said Julie, brightening at the memory.

“But we haven’t seen each other since then. Well, I land in China, and guess who’s in charge of the dig?”

“Julie!” Rachel exclaimed, a strained edge to her voice. “I mean, isn’t that just hit-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”

The couple stared at her strangely.

“It’s an inside joke,” you awkwardly chuckled, waving it away with a convincing grin.

“Alright, well, we’re gonna go see the baby,” said Ross.

Julie hummed in agreement. “Then we gotta get some sleep. I’m exhausted!”

“Yeah, it’s really six o’clock tomorrow night our time.”

The couple bid their goodbyes, before heading out the door.

Rachel let out a soft exhale, and you roped her into a proper hug, stroking the back of her head comfortingly.

“Hey, does anybody know a good tailor?” asked Chandler as he ambled into Monica’s apartment.

“You need some clothes altered?” said Joey, aimlessly flipping through a magazine on the couch, resting his head in your lap. He’d recently been more clingy because he’d broken up with Melanie the day before. According to him, all she really ever talked about were fruit baskets—which were his words, not yours. Though, you were thinking the same thing.

Chandler huffed, “No, no, I’m just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk,” he deadpanned.

Lifting his head slightly, Joey peered over the couch to look at his roommate. “Why don’t you go see Frankie? My family’s been going to him forever. He did my first suit when I was fifteen. No, wait, sorry. Sixteen. No—fifteen. No!” He looked to you, brows furrowed. “When was 1990 again?”

Chandler snorted, gesturing to his ears. “Okay, buddy, you have to stop the q-tip when there’s resistance!”

From across the room, Ross was on the phone with his new girlfriend he seemed completely smitten with, much to Rachel’s dismay. Rachel visibly rolled her eyes when Ross cooed lovingly into the phone, before getting up and storming into the kitchen. You and Joey locked eyes, before hurrying after her, not wanting to miss out on any drama.

“How is this happening to me?” the brunette softly cried to Monica. “A week ago, Ross was just Ross—he was just this guy! Now, all of a sudden, he’s… he’s Ross! This really great guy that I can’t have.”

Sympathetic, Monica placed an arm over her roommate’s shoulder. As if on cue, Ross came strolling into the kitchen to grab a banana from the fruit bowl, phone wedged between his shoulder and the side of his head, making gross kissing noises.

Rachel bolted up, squaring her jaw.

“I gotta get out of here,” she bit out, before grabbing her bag and striding right out the door.

“Okay, I don’t care what you guys say, but something’s bothering her!” Chandler sarcastically quipped.

Rolling your eyes, you made your way to the door. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“Hey,” you said, gently brushing your fingers against Rachel’s shoulder to alert her of your presence. She was sitting on the apartment building’s short stairs, hunched over her knees as she hugged them against her chest. She turned to look at you, a forlorn expression melded over her features. Softening, you tugged her into a hug, rubbing your palm up and down her back. “I’m sorry, Rach. I wish I could do something to help. You wanna talk about it?”

When she pulled away, her eyes were glassy with a thin, warbling film of unshed tears.

“I just… I don’t know what’s going on with me, you know? I never really thought about Ross in that way and the one time I do… he’s with someone else and it hurts. When I saw Ross get off that plane with her, I really thought I’d just hit rock bottom. And you know how people always tell you that it gets better? Well, today I feel more shitty than I did the day before.” Rachel buried her face into her palms, tears streaking down her cheeks.

“Oh, honey, why don’t you just tell him?” you asked. “He’s barely been with Julie for two weeks, and that’s nothing compared to how long Ross has been in love with you.”

Rachel let out a long sigh, lifting her damp face away from her hands. “I don’t know, Y/N. I’m just so confused. I don’t know.”

“Okay,” you said softly, moving closer to rope your arm over her shoulders, and pressed a gentle kiss to her warm forehead. “What do you say you come over to my place and we watch a movie, hm? I’ll let you pick.”

“Can we watch The Princess Bride?”

“Sure,” you said, taking her hands to pull her up with you. “Whatever you want.”

It shouldn’t have happened.

One moment, the two of you were cuddled up on your couch, preening over how good Westley looked, and the other, Rachel was on top of you, her lips frantically moving against yours.

It was your fault, really. Rachel was vulnerable, and obviously needed a distraction, and so, like a fool, you let her use you as one. You let her unbutton your shirt. You let her desperately tug against your hair. You let her kiss you, and you let her shove you into your bedroom.

At one point, you managed to pull away for a second, breathless and entirely conflicted about the situation. She looked so beautiful spread over the sheets of your bed, and it made your heart sink at the thought that she wasn’t doing this because she really wanted to—she was doing this because she was looking for something to make her forget. Even for just a little bit. “Rach, don’t you think we should slow down a bit? I know you’re hurting, but—”

She shook her head firmly, roping her arms over your neck and yanking you back down, kissing you hard. You froze against her, and the brunette sighed against you.

“Please?” she whispered, all soft and broken and devastating.

You could practically feel yourself caving.

No more words were exchanged.

You leaned back down to kiss her.

It was the next day. You were still sleeping in bed, most likely exhausted from all the activities you’d been up to the night before, and Rachel slipped out as soon as she’d woken up beside you. Naked and aching. Oh, what has she done?

Rachel winced as she tried to quietly open the door to Monica’s apartment, but it creaked, alerting everybody of her return. She was only grateful that Ross wasn’t there—probably off canoodling with his new girlfriend.

Monica’s eyes widened. “Oh, my God, Rachel, what happened? I was worried sick about you! Where’d you go last night?” After another moment, she narrowed her eyes, surveying her roommate’s disheveled appearance. “You slept with somebody, didn’t you?”

Clearing her throat, Rachel straightened her posture, pointedly ignoring Monica’s question. “I stayed over at Y/N’s place. Is there something wrong with that?”

At first, Monica nodded, relieved. “Oh, okay,” she said. Another second past, and her eyes widened, just about bugging out of her head at the realization. “Wait, you didn’t say no to my question. OH, MY GOD!”

From the couches, Joey turned his head at the commotion. “What’s going on?”

“RACHEL AND Y/N SLEPT TOGETHER!” shrieked Monica. Rachel fruitlessly tried to shush her, spewing out that it wasn’t that big of a deal and that it was a mistake.

From behind the closed bathroom door, Chandler’s voice echoed, “WHAT? RACHEL AND Y/N SLEPT TOGETHER?!” He came out a moment later, face colored red with shock.

Rachel pulled at the skin of her face in frustration and faced all her friends as they expectantly watched her, waiting for an explanation.

“How did this happen?” demanded Joey, seeming lost. “I thought you were… you were… Ross…”

“I am,” sighed Rachel, massaging her pulsing temples. “It was a mistake. A really wonderful one, sure, but still a mistake. Y/N was being so nice and it just happened, okay? I was the one that kissed them—so Y/N wasn’t taking advantage of me or anything. They tried to stop me at one point and I—I don’t know, I asked if we could keep going and Y/N gave in.” Her cheeks colored hotly at the memory.

The rest of them stared at her, speechless.

“Where is Y/N?” asked Joey, crossing his arms.

“Still sleeping,” whispered Rachel, feeling ashamed of herself. “I’m gonna go get changed. Excuse me.”

She left in a hurry, leaving the rest of them puzzled and unsure of what to make of things.

“So, you and Rachel, huh?” Joey leaned against your kitchen counter as you fixed yourself (and him) a sandwich, raising his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes. “It was a one night stand, Joey—a fling, if you will. You know that better than anybody.”

“Yeah, but it’s different,” he said, grabbing half of the cut sandwich and taking a large bite. “Because you were friends with her before. Don’t you think it’ll be weird going back to being friends?”

A part of you was a bit worried that Rachel would act weird about it, but you personally didn’t really see a problem with it—you knew Rachel had feelings for Ross and you didn’t want to get in the way of that any more than you already have.

“It’ll be fine,” you reassured him, bumping the side of your hip against his. “We’re both mature adults—besides, I love Rachel too much to let this ruin our friendship.”

With a teasing hum, Joey leaned in closer to you. “Oh, yeah? Do you love me enough to sleep with me and not let it ruin our friendship?”

With a scoff, you patted his chest and walked away, sandwich wedged between your teeth as you called out, “In your dreams, Tribbiani.”

Rachel showed up to your apartment again the next night, promising not to make any advances on you this time. She apologized profusely and the two of you had talked it out. It ended in tears (Rachel) and yawns (you) because it was way too late for you to get emotional. The two of you hugged it out, promising each other that this wouldn’t get weird, and before you knew it, she was getting up to go back.

“Oh, just so you know,” she said, hanging halfway out your doorway, “you’re really great in bed.”

Surprise colored your expression when she dipped forward to kiss you softly on the cheek, and sauntered away, humming gently under her breath. You blinked, before rubbing your fists into your eyes.

“I really need to get some sleep,” you thought to yourself dazedly, partially wondering if this was a dream.

“This is unbelievable, Pheebs. How can you be married?” Joey asked the blonde from Monica’s dining table.

Patting his shoulder you began to say, “See, Joe, when two people love each other very much—” You cut yourself off with a laugh when he began swatting at you, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Well, I’m not, like, married married. He was just a friend, and he’s gay! He’s from Canada, and he just needed a green card,” Phoebe defensively stated.

Monica shook her head. “I can’t believe you married Duncan. How could you not tell me! I mean, we lived together—we told each other everything!”

“Sorry, Mon, but if I told you, you would’ve gotten super judgemental and you wouldn’t have approved!”

Your raven-headed friend’s voice began to grow shrill as she said, “Of course I wouldn’t have approved! You were totally in love with this guy, who, hello, was gay! I mean, what the hell were you thinking?”

From across the table, Ross snorted. “See, Pheebs, and you thought she’d be judgemental.”

“Okay, I wasn’t in love with him, I was just helping out a friend!”

Accusingly, Monica shot back, “Please, when he left town, you stayed in your pajamas for a month! And I saw you eat a cheeseburger!”

The rest of you gasped.

“Phoebe, is that true?” Rachel asked, aghast.

Avoiding eye contact, the blonde poured herself a cup of tea. “I might’ve.”

“I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” said Monica. “Getting married is a big thing!”

Narrowing her eyes, Phoebe retorted, “Oh, come on. As if you tell me everything?”

“What have I not told you?” challenged Monica.

“Oh, I don’t know, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace!” Phoebe exclaimed, pointing out the window.

The rest of you rushed to press your faces into the glass, eager to see what she was on about.

Offended, Monica slapped Chandler on the arm. “You told her?!”

Recoiling, Chandler bit out, “I didn’t know it was a big secret!”

“Oh, no of course not—at least not as big as having a third nipple!” she screeched, which brought all of your attention away from the underwear dangling outside to Chandler, who was tomato-faced and grimacing.

“You have a third nipple?” asked Phoebe.

“You bitch,” Chandler hissed to Monica, who only stuck her tongue out childishly.

Excited, Ross exclaimed, “Whip it out, Chandler!”

“Ew, guys! There’s nothing to see, it’s just a tiny bump, it’s totally useless!” He rounded to the living room to put some distance between the rest of you, but you all followed behind him anyways.

Cocking your head, you sarcastically put forth, “Right, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples!”

“I can’t believe you! You told me it was a nubbin,” said Joey.

“Joe, what did you think a nubbin was?” Ross responded.

“I don’t know—you see something, you hear a word—I thought that’s what it was! Let me see it again, Chandler—”

Desperate to divert the attention away from him, Chandler pointed a finger at you. “Y/N and Rachel slept together!”

Most of the group waved him away, having already known that fact, but Ross blanched, eyes darting between you and Rachel.

“What?” he said. “You… you—you slept with her?” he said, an accusing lilt to his tone, bordering on anger. You blinked, brows creasing.

“Yeah,” you carefully said. “It was one time. We’re both grown adults, Ross, we’re allowed to do whatever we want to each other. Besides, you’re with Julie. What’s got your pickle in such a twist?”

Ross was close to belittling you, wanting to ask how could you? You know that I was in love with Rachel.

But he didn’t, because Rachel was right there, watching the two of you with worried eyes. And you were right—Rachel wasn’t his property. She was free to sleep with whoever she wanted, which included you. Not even mentioning that he had a girlfriend right now and had no right to be jealous for someone he wasn’t even dating.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You gonna drop it, Ross? Or is this gonna be a problem?”

“Nope. No problem,” Ross chuckled hoarsely, clearly having a problem with it.

Satisfied, you rolled your shoulders back and sent Chandler a withering glare. “Alright… since we’re dragging other people into this—Joey was in a porno!”

The group gasped at your revelation.

Jaw dropping, Joey glared at you with wide eyes, as if to say, how could you?

Chandler guffawed, clapping his hands together, relishing the chaos. “Yeah, that’s right! If I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me!” This earned him a cuff to the back of his head, and he turned, only to cower away from your burning stare.

“Oh, my God! You were in a porno?” squawked Phoebe.

“Tell us about it, tell us about it!” chimed Monica.

Waving them away, Joey was quick to say, “Alright, alright! I was young and I just wanted a job, okay? But at the last minute, I couldn’t go through with it—my uh… my thing got stage fright, see? So they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can’t because—well, because there’s people havin’ sex on it.”

You snorted. “Never gets old.”

“That’s wild!” said Rachel. Then, she promptly turned back to Chandler, pointing at his chest. “So, what’s it shaped like?”

It was around a week later—and you strode into Monica’s apartment, exhausted from working a full day in the lab, only to be met by three squealing women with sloshing glasses of wine.

“Ross and Rachel kissed!” exclaimed Monica, flushed a bright shade of pink and grinning widely.

Your eyes widened. “What? Oh, my God… uhm, congrats?” you tentatively said, judging from their gleeful celebratory expressions. “What about Julie?”

The drunken atmosphere seemed to dwindle away at your question. Rachel sat up straight, expression crumbling. “Right… Julie…”

You strode to her and wrapped her into a warm embrace. There was so much that you wanted to stay, but you bit down on your tongue and just held her all the tighter.

The next day, you had to watch the excruciating exchange between Julie and Ross—the former having no clue about the kiss, and the latter looking as guilty as a child caught stealing cookies.

You decided you wanted no part in it, despite both Ross and Rachel constantly asking you for advice.

“This is like a complete nightmare!” Ross stressed from the privacy of Chandler’s apartment, pacing back and forth in front of the tv.

Rolling his eyes, Chandler sardonically bit out, “Oh, I know, it must be so hard having two women in love with you! They’re both gorgeous, my wallet’s too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!”

The taller man glared at him, crossing his arms.

“Listen, Ross, I got two words for you,” interjected Joey, holding up two fingers. “Threesome!”

You pinched his cheek with a scoff of a laugh. “That’s one word.”

“This isn’t helping!” Ross practically screeched. “Y/N, come on, you’re the most sensible out of all of us. Help me! What do I do?”

Feeling a bit guilty, you just shook your head. “Ross, either way, you’re going to hurt someone. You have two options—you break up with Julie and you get with Rachel, or you get firm with Rachel and tell her you’re staying with Julie. There’s no secret third option, because that’ll only lead to even more disaster and you’ll end up losing them both. Just don’t be a dick to either of them, okay? I care about Rachel a lot, and I don’t want to see her hurt because of you.”

Ross blinked at you. “So what I’m hearing is… Rachel?”

Throwing your hands up in the air, you wrinkled your nose at him in disgust, furrowing your brows. “Ugh, no! Damn it, Ross—”

“Let’s be logical about this,” interjected Chandler. “We’ll make a list—pros and cons for both Rachel and Julie.”

You crossed your arms. “That’s a terrible idea. Why are you treating them like objects for bartering?”

Huffing, Ross merely shook his head. “It’s not a half-bad idea, though. Might help me make a smart choice.”

“Great!” exclaimed Chandler. “Let’s start with the cons—Rachel first.”

Ross’ expression twisted hesitantly. “I don’t know… I guess you could say she’s a little spoiled sometimes. And you know, sometimes she’s a little ditzy—and I’ve seen her be a little too into her looks. Julie and I—we have a lot in common because we’re both paleontologists, but you know, Rachel’s just… she’s a waitress.”

Disgusted, you scoffed. “God, you’re such an asshole, Ross. Are you serious? The nerve of you…” you trailed off, pushing yourself away from Joey’s side to grab your coat on the back of the couch, already heading for the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” asked Joey. “Y/N, come back, he doesn’t mean it!” Pointedly, Joey jabbed Ross in the side, but he just guiltily looked to the ground.

“Fuck you, Ross. She’s my friend too, you know. Shame on you two, as well,” you chastised, glaring at the three men, before storming out of the apartment, making sure to slam the door hard behind you.

The next day, Ross broke up with Julie.

And just a bit after that, Rachel saw the list he’d made of her as she slipped into Chandler’s apartment to steal some of his moisturizer.

God, you knew something like this would happen.

You stumbled into Monica’s apartment with the rest of the group, laughter from a story Joey was telling ebbing away upon the sight of Ross begging Rachel to open the bedroom door.

Before anyone could step in and ask what was going on, Rachel swung the door open, face blotchy from crying and crimson with fury.

“Rach, come on—you gotta give me another chance.”

“No!” firmly exclaimed the brunette.

“No?”

“That’s what I said. No.”

Awkward, Chandler took a step closer to the door. “Look, maybe we should go—”

“No, you guys shouldn’t go, because Ross and I are done talking.”

“Rach, look, I know how this must—”

Holding up a hand, Rachel squared her jaw and coldly replied, “No, you don’t, Ross. Imagine… the worst things you’d think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks it too, but actually uses it as reasons not to be with you!”

Faltering, Ross stammered out, “No, but—but, see, I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.”

What an asshole, you thought.

Slowly, the five of you began inching to the door.

Anger flickered across her expression. “Oh, well, that’s mighty big of you, Ross.” She momentarily snapped her gaze towards you. “I said don’t go!” she barked.

All of you froze like deer in the headlights.

Voice breaking, Ross replied in a panicked manner, “You know… if—if things were the other way around, there is nothing that you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you!”

Rachel’s tense shoulders dropped, as if she was totally and utterly done with this conversation. “Well, see, that’s the difference between us. I’d never make a list.”

With that, she shut the door in Ross’ face.

All of you stared, wide-eyed, as he slowly backed away from her bedroom, and sank down to slump on the coffee table.

“I never know how long you’re supposed to wait in this type of situation until you can talk again,” Joey whispered into your ear. You pinched his side, sending him a glare. “Oh, okay, I guess we’re waiting a bit longer, then.”

You wrapped the scarf tighter around your neck, blowing out a breath that misted into the cold air in front of you.

“Joey, slow down!” you called out, lightly jogging after the man who was practically sprinting down to the newspaper stand down the street. “They won’t be sold out of papers at one in the morning!”

“I’m just excited!” he exclaimed, grabbing your hand and yanking you along, much to your dismay. “I’ve never gotten reviewed before!”

“You were really great, Joe—I’m being serious! You make a good king,” you said genuinely, smiling at him when he halted in front of the stall, sending you a grateful grin. “Though, you might wanna consider wearing underwear next time—when you sat down everyone could see your uh… your royal subjects.”

You broke out into a fit of laughter, which you tried to hide away into coughing when Joey rolled his eyes and turned away from you.

Shucking a couple of coins from his mostly-empty wallet, he tossed them to the vendor and grabbed a couple papers, handing you one. The rest of the group caught up to the two of you moments later, taking a couple papers to see for themselves.

Your heart dropped upon reading the first few lines of the review. Sending a glance over at Joey, you could see his shoulders begin to droop.

“The only thing worse than the mindless adolescent direction is Joseph Tribbiani’s disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king…” he mumbled, downtrodden.

Chandler clapped his roommate’s shoulder. “Hey, look, that’s just one douchebag’s opinion! Alright, Pheebs, read yours.”

The blonde perked up, clearing her throat before reading aloud, “The only thing worse than the mindless adolescent direction—”

“Alright, does anybody have a different paper?” intervened Chandler. “Ross, read yours.”

The taller man winced at the colorful insults on his paper, shooting Joey an apologetic glance. “I don’t think I want to.”

Huffing, Joey handed you his paper, and sank down onto the curb of the sidewalk, hanging his head.

“Oh, Joe,” you said, kneeling down beside him. “They don’t know what they’re talking about—critics always have a stick up their ass! They never know how to have fun and they’re always reviewing things with tunnel vision for snobbish pish-posh elegance that nobody gives a shit about!”

The Italian sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe they have a point. I’ve been doing this for ten years and I haven’t gotten anywhere! There’s gotta be a reason.”

Rachel reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Joey—”

“No, no, I’m quitting. It’s just too hard.”

The rest of you blanched at his sudden declaration, each of you erupting with protests.

When Joey just shook his head, you all fell silent, and you took his hand, holding it tight to your chest. “Joey, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, I really enjoyed your play. I know the critics don’t, but I had so much fun watching you, and I know the rest of the audience did, too. This might not mean anything to you, but I’m really proud of you. You’ve come a long way since you started, and you should be proud of yourself, too.”

Joey was silent for a moment. Then he looked to you, a glimmer of appreciation behind his irises. “Thanks, Y/N. That means a lot, it does.”

You grinned. “Alright. What does everyone say to midnight pizza?”

“It’s nearly two in the morning,” deadpanned Rachel, hiding a yawn behind her fist. When she saw Joey’s pouting face, she huffed, relenting. “Oh, fine, fine. But no pineapples!”

You sauntered into Joey and Chandler’s apartment, about to ask them if they wanted to go catch a movie starting in half an hour, but your question faltered on your tongue upon seeing Joey bustling in the kitchen, about two dozen jars of homemade marinara sauce strewn all over the counter. He was furiously chopping more tomatoes, looking as stressed as ever.

Blinking, you gently said his name, which made him grunt distantly in reply. You took a seat by the counter, reaching forward to swipe some marinara off his cheek and licked it off your thumb.

“Hm,” you said, pleasantly surprised. “That’s good, Joey! What’s all this for?”

Before he could respond, Chandler trudged out of his bedroom, rubbing the nap away from his droopy eyes, mumbling, “Italy called and said it was hungry.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get the part, then?” you asked sympathetically, referring to the Days of Our Lives call-back audition he had earlier today that he simply couldn’t pass up, despite claiming that he quit being an actor no less than a week ago.

Your friend shook his head. “No, the part’s mine if I want it.”

Both you and Chandler blanched. “Oh, my God!”

“Yeah, well, that’s only if I’m willing to sleep with the casting lady,” huffed Joey.

“Oh…” you said, finally understanding his dilemma.

Joey nodded. “Ten years I’ve been waiting for a break like this. Ten years! I mean, Days of our Lives—that’s actually on television!”

“So… what are you gonna do?” asked Chandler, glancing to you and noticing your suddenly uncomfortable expression.

“I don’t know,” his roommate admitted. “I mean, I guess I could sleep with her…”

Clearing your throat, you pulled up your sleeve slightly to check your wristwatch, hastily getting up from the stool and heading for the door. “So sorry to leave, but I’ve got a movie to catch. So, uh, good luck with the, uh, the audition.” You winced, before awkwardly rushing out.

Chandler crossed his arms over his chest. “So what’s got you so stressed out? Is she pretty?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Joey reluctantly responded.

“Honestly surprised you haven’t slept with her already. Usually you’d jump at an opportunity like this. I mean, it’s not like you’re in love with anyone, so nothing’s really holding you back—” Chandler halted himself in his words. “Is this about Y/N? You never actually told them how you felt, did you—?”

Quick to cut him off, Joey snapped, “I’m not in love with Y/N!” Then, he hesitated, face screwing into one of confusion as he rinsed all the tomato juice off his hands. “At least… I don’t think I am. But anyways, this isn’t about them. I’ve never had to sleep with someone to get a job before.”

Obviously still dubious, Chandler just let out a little uhuh, and sat down by the counter. “Maybe this isn’t such a big deal, Joey. The way I see it, you get a great job, and you get to have sex with a nice girl!”

Joey’s shoulders dropped a little. “I just don’t think I want it that way, you know? Let’s say I make it—I’m always gonna wonder if it was because of my talent, or because of my dick!”

Chandler nodded. He was still quite miffed as to why Joey hadn’t already jumped on the opportunity, but he had a feeling it was because of—

“Can I tell you something?” asked Joey.

“Shoot.”

“I’ve barely been sleeping with anybody lately, I’m sure you’ve noticed—”

“I try to enjoy it while it lasts,” Chandler dryly replied. “Our walls are thin, you know.”

Rolling his eyes, Joey continued, “The last person I was properly dating was Melanie, and that felt like ages ago. And, uh… when I found out about Y/N and Rachel sleepin’ together it just kinda felt… I felt…”

“Jealous?”

Joey bit down on the inside of his cheek. “Yeah,” he reluctantly sighed out. “I don’t know. Maybe I am in love with Y/N.”

“Woah,” said Chandler, raising both hands in surprise as his eyes widened at Joey’s confession.

“Woah!” parroted Joey, matching his roommate’s energy. “I said maybe. Maybe! I don’t know yet!”

“No, I just… I didn’t think you’d… you know, I always had a feeling but I never really expected you to admit it. That’s, uh, that’s great, Joe! Are you gonna tell them?”

Joey had to admit, he was absolutely terrified at the prospect of confessing his feelings to you. Usually, he wasn’t afraid of rejection because it never really was something he had to worry about but with you—he never, ever wanted to lose you. The very idea of not being friends with you anymore ripped him apart to pieces.

But he had to try, didn’t he?

“Yeah,” replied Joey, glancing down at all the marinara he’d made, thinking back to the way you’d gently swiped some sauce off of his cheek. “I think I will.”

Joey whistled happily as he strode down the halls of the physics institution, not even caring that he’d walked into the wrong room three times in a row (the scientists in the second lab definitely weren’t happy with that), before finally finding your office. He’d gotten the job—without sleeping with the casting agent—and since you were so busy with work, he thought he’d stop by and tell you the good news because he just couldn’t wait until you got off.

Though, now that he stood in front of your door, he wished he’d waited.

Because then he wouldn’t have to see you with Connor—and how the two of you seemed awfully close, with his hand settled over your hip and yours gripping the front of his shirt as the two of you spoke lowly to each other.

A part of Joey wanted to turn tail and run, but he found himself rooted to the spot, mouth opening and closing silently.

Finally, you caught sight of him in the doorway, and you practically sprang away from Connor, eyes wide and expression coloring with shock.

“Joey! What are you doing here?” you asked, slightly breathless and evidently flustered.

The excitement he once felt began to dwindle away the longer he stood there, grappling for words. “I, uh… just wanted to come by and see how you’re doing! But I see you’re pretty busy and, uhm, I’m just gonna get going now! Bye!” With that, he turned on his heel and sprinted out of your office, before you could even begin to protest.

“That was weird,” said Connor, mildly confused. “What’s up with your friend?”

You stared at the open doorway for a second longer, brows furrowed. “I don’t know,” you replied distantly, before turning back to him with a smile. “Now, where were we?”

Later that night, Monica had invited everyone over to play some board games and drink a little bit of wine she’d been saving for over a year by now. You were glad for the break, having exhausted yourself working for the past few days.

Halfway through your third round of Monopoly (the last two rounds had to be halted because Ross and Phoebe looked like they were about to tear each other’s throats out), Joey excused himself to take a quick breather on the balcony, and you followed suit after making sure Chandler wouldn’t steal any of your fake Monopoly money. As you were clambering out the window to join him, you caught sight of Chandler sneaking some of your dollar bills into his stack, and you rolled your eyes but let it go anyway.

“Hey,” you murmured, nudging Joey’s side with your elbow. “You okay? It’s cold out here.”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling down at you briefly, though you noticed that it didn’t truly reach his eyes. “Just… thinking.”

A soft hum fell from you. “That doesn’t happen often, huh? What about?” You leaned your head against his shoulder, tilting your gaze up to New York’s starless night skies. The moon shone dimly behind a hazy city smog, one that seemed to never lift this time of year.

“I got the part,” he said.

“Oh, my God,” you whispered, pulling away for a second to stare at him with parted lips. “That’s amazing, Joey, congrats! I’m really proud of you, you know that?”

Something sickly twisted in his stomach at your words. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You settled back down against his shoulder, stray strands of your hair tickling his cheek. “So did you sleep with the casting agent? I won’t judge if you did, I promise.”

There was a short pause before he responded, a little hesitantly, “Nah—I was offered the part because I refused to sleep with them. I guess they liked my guts and wanted me in the show.”

You lifted your head to grin at him, nose wrinkling fondly. It did Joey’s heart no favors when you leaned forward and pressed a chaste, friendly kiss to his cheek, before resting your head back down. He inhaled sharply, the smell of your blueberry-scented shampoo making his chest ache with an itch that he just couldn’t seem to scratch away.

“Why didn’t you do it?” you asked, cold fingers moving down his arm to lace with his. “Sleep with the casting agent, that is.”

“Well… I don’t want to make up my career through sex and sex alone,” he said, carefully avoiding the glaringly obvious other reason why. “I would want to know at least some of it was because of my talent.”

You hummed again. The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. From the distance, a car honked.

“What… uh, what were you and Connor doin’ earlier today when I came by?” he asked, trying to play it cool.

“Oh, he was just there to ask for some advice on his research paper. He just got a little flirty, really, nothing happened between us—it was nice and all, but… oh, I don’t know. I just don’t think I’m really looking for a serious relationship right now.”

Joey could feel his heart crumble into a million pieces and fall through the gaps between his ribs. Well, there goes any prospect of confessing his feelings to you tonight. He supposed it was for the better—if you’d rejected him, Joey didn’t think he could ever properly look you in the eye again and just continue to be friends as if nothing had happened.

“Oh,” he said, voice cracking minutely. “Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay,” you told him genuinely, fondness seeping through your tone. “I’ve got great friends.”

“Yeah,” said Joey, lifting an arm to sling around your waist to give you a loose side-hug. If he couldn’t be with you in a romantic relationship, he was more than willing to be with you in a platonic one.

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