#queen of violating the geneva convention
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nurse
#queen of violating the geneva convention#nurse redheart#mlp#mlpfim#my little pony#my little pony friendship is magic#fanart
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A proposed compromise for those who want to give the Queen a properly dramatic send-off and those who want to save on the budget: you know those guys on YouTube who garage-build potato guns that violate the Geneva Conventions? Well
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Wenvier Bingo: Summer Camp
Thank you @jandjsalmon for the direction.
After Camp Chippewa burned down, and the owners had been found dead from being roasted while still alive, an inquiry was made.
The Martin and Granger families soon found that Becky and Gary had been running the camp as fascists and the families were quick to drop any charges against Wednesday and Pugsly for their revolt. Neither family wanted it known that Becky and Gary had not only put on the most racist play to ever be written for a summer camp, but that they routinely locked children in an air condition-less cabin with no bathroom, no food or water, for days on end while blasting Disney movies on the highest volume: all violations of the Geneva Convention.
The fact they targeted minorities and those with disabilities was particularly damning.
The Addams family always had a sense for a good investment and were willing to keep quiet about the abuse and buy the camp for cheap.
Camp Chippewa was under new management. It kept its name and still advertised as the premier summer camp for privileged young adults. Only they focused on making it a summer camp for Outcasts.
Werewolves loved to roam free on full moons and learn to hunt the wild game.
Vampires enjoyed midnight hikes on the trails.
Gorgons were free to sunbathe without their head covers along the lake.
Wednesday found that summer camp was actually quite enjoyable when she wasn’t subject to the whims of Normie tyrants with delusions of mediocrity.
The Harmony Hut was converted to a comfortable cabin with all the mod cons an Outcast like her could enjoy. It had industrial air conditioning that had it as cold as any morgue, and the windows were tinted to mimic an ever-present twilight.
She was allowed her quiet writing time, and even partook in other activities such as archery, canoeing, and hikes with the Vampires at night.
Ever since she scared him half to death, Joel had a bit more Outcast to him in his madness and she loved him all the more for it.
They were considered the king and queen of summer camp and everyone knew not to try to get between them.
The madly in love couple, however, did eye hungrily the newest Outcast to join Chippewa, Xavier Thorpe.
The shy artist enjoyed his own private shed where he could paint to his heart’s content and had a bit of a competitive streak against Wednesday at the archery range.
Xavier quickly put anyone in their place if they thought he was some demure psychic, by animating deadly spiders and unleashing them on other campers.
Xavier's dark side only fanned the couple's desire for him.
He thought the couple were beautiful in their dark madness for each other, but respected boundaries.
Wednesday and Joel had seduced Xavier by asking him to paint a portrait of them.
When they both suggested a nude painting, Xavier got the hint and joined them.
They enjoyed a summer of passionate nights and playful activities in the woods.
The rumours of the Triad spread quickly when their love making was louder than the Werewolves on a full moon in the Harmony Hut.
Wednesday and Joel had become so enamored with Xavier that they followed him to Nevermore once summer was over.
Card under cut
#wenvier#wenvier bingo#wenvier moodboard#wednesday x xavier x joel#Wednesday Addams#Xavier Thorpe#Joel Glicker#Jack Champion as Joel Glicker#Jack Champion#OT3#fanfic inspo
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i took lil lord underfoot to the murder factory this morning to get stabbed with their terrible stabbers and he was very good on the way home but as soon as we got here he started crying and crying and crying and now he's asleep and this is just to say that my cat is a fucking drama queen who thinks that a shot of pain killer for his arthritis is a violation of the kitty geneva convention
#he's fine#this is what he does#when he gets home from the vet#he acts like he's just escaped a kitty genocide#and in reality the only thing hurt are his feelings#and the only thing wrong with him is that his braincase is empty
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A collection of DnD quotes. Part 1 because with this group there is always chaos. I love these guys though. Even if they spent an entire session bullying me after I left my phone in the freezer.
“This seems like what the future would call a Geneva Convention violation.” “What’s that?”
“I loot one dead body, I loot one dead body and people think I know things!”
“You think that was a bad idea dude? That was a bad idea. If I wasn't trying to follow god right now I would slap you in the face, but I am trying to follow god.” “God does allow you to slap people in the face.” “Bim Bam, what's your armor class?”
“You are our child now…. Can I take over your body and kill everyone?”
“Why collateral? Why can't I just be a person?”
“The cats have banned because they want to eat the dice. Then I'll want to eat the dice, but I have a medical condition. Well maybe they do too, they're cats.”
“Hot Single Bounty Hunters in your area”
“What do you want more? Pastels or skin?” “You want skin buddy? You want to keep your skin?”
"Where is my phone- I left my phone in the freezer I'll be right back.”
"I dont know what you're talking about bimbam would love to ride austro.”
“I find it funny that the only Canadian is the one destroying free health care.”
“The Raven Queen is a home wrecker.”
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Can't wait for OPM God to play mindgames with Saitama just like he fucked up Psykos' head.
Cuz you know, they both have third eye and in this, they are similar, but Psykos got so mentally messed up by OPM God that she became schizophrenic just from thinking about the potential future as being something that is more real than the present.
It's all about the grand vision at the end and infj if messed up badly, can go into "the end justifies the means"-mentality and stop considering their empathic functions. All the master planning and playing the chess master and invisible hand behind the scenes, only to see those plans foiled and fall down like deck of cards due to some small, unforeseen detail.
We'll probably need Psykos actually alive and willing and able to help, unless Saitama too is to fall prey to that same machination.
And when we're talking about "redemption arc" to schizophrenic psychopath who did horrible deeds...well, saving a fellow third eye user from succumbing to same ploys, possibly denying that horrible future that she saw in the first place and indirectly saving the world from catastrophe, that would be a starting point in taking responsibility, imo.
If she actually could make use of her third eye, perhaps Psykos could actually save just as many lives as has she killed. Nay, hundred times more.
If she truly and sincerely regrets all the pain and suffering she has caused...like Fubuki alludes to her changing drastically after God spoke through her...she could still benefit the world as the successor to Shibabawa like she originally wanted.
Nothing absolves Psykos of her crimes, but I have an inkling that letting Psykos live, if her mind gets healed, might be a worse punishment than just outright killing her because she's too dangerous to just let roam free in her current state. Extenuating circumstances will have to be considered in her treatment.
And if we're being really pragmatic...can't lose those battle assets can we? Enemy of my enemy is my friend. Psykos abilities might prove invaluable in countering OPM God's mastery in moving chess pieces around and leveling the playing field. Else he can move pawns around the board for free and promote them to queens with little issues.
Or, perform a queen's gambit: sacrifice one pawn to checkmate the king.
The Queen's Gambit is the chess opening that starts with the moves:[1] 1. d4d5 2. c4
It is one of the oldest openings and is still commonly played today. It is traditionally described as a gambit because White appears to sacrifice the c-pawn; however, this could be considered a misnomer as Black cannot retain the pawn without incurring a disadvantage
In short, imo, Psykos needs a psych ward, not white room torture chamber and craniotomy.
However...maybe I'm just being too kind. She was about to commit genocide after all and did other inhumane crimes. And I can't imagine having the guts to squeeze out live-saving information in interrogation torture ala Tatsumaki. She's quite the soldier.
HA is still doing pointlessly cruel treatment and violating Geneva conventions in how to treat prisoners of war, in any case.
ONE really likes to trip people with humanitarian issues too huh? Asking all the difficult questions.
But this is just the beginning innit? We're gonna dive deeper into the rabbit hole.
#opm#one punch man#psykos#opm meta#fubuki#saitama#mental health#opm manga panels#mindgames#geneva convention#prisoner of war#redemption#opm schizophrenia#unreality
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i almost never wish i could write (it’s just not my talent. I also don’t enjoy it enough to develop it. It’s fine) but stp s3 is the type of thing that has Just enough legs to it conceptually that i want to gut it, take what i like, take some of what i didn’t and do it better so it’s good, and outright change some more to write my own, better, version. I want to write foe fiction.
bc okay, on the face of it there are some interesting concepts! the borg high jacking federation transporter tech to assimilate people because they adapt and realise that invasions aren’t working, just ditch the Entire plot around Jack and think of some other way to make it spread/activate and it’s actually a plot within the realms of possibility to work with.
The idea of Picard loving somebody enough that he’d Willingly go and be assimilated is FASCINATING. I am so enthralled by this concept on so many levels. But like, in the kind of way where it didn’t happen like it did in the show. Ideally Jack is not involved at all tbh. Mostly because i’m sick and annoyed of the blood family over all notions in this season. But we could easily develop Picard’s relationship with somebody else to achieve this. Since Soji is not assimilate-able it’d end up Elnor really.
The idea of a secret baby can stay if it Has to but in the kind of way where their mother who may or may not be beverly gets to actually be a character with an outside life for more than one episode. Also, the reasons for keeping this a secret will be grounded in material that the audience actually Knows about and not something made up that happened off screen as a weak justification. One of the reasons for it will also be that Picard has an issue with treating kids like people and no kid deserves that.
If this happens then Worf and Picard Will be discussing not being filled in about the existence of their first borns.
Will and Deanna will be petrified for Kestra. Geordi will be allowed to be terrified for his daughters for more than 60 seconds before he forgets them. Raffi is also freaking out about Elnor.
Raffi and Seven do not break up. There was literally zero reason for this at all tbh? ofc they’d not be able to interact once Raff went undercover, it wouldn’t change anything if they were together even IN the show, but in my version, for the record, their relationship is a plot point that gets screen time.
Borgati would be called in as reinforcements. The question is really who would call her. Would it be Seven? Picard? Raffi, even? Queen vs Queen stand off.
The reaction to finding out what happened with the changelings will Not be having zero introspection and then going on to commit more violations of the space geneva convention with no critical thought on the matter. I feel like the moment when Vadic tells her story about being the victim of such horrifying things at the hands of the federation was a Bad moment to show that picard and beverly are Serious parents who will do anything for their son. We can still have them have their amoral hour, just not Here jeez. Read the room guys.
Data is dead. It was what he wanted. Leave him be.
And look okay for all I was mad at them going through background characters to kill like a lottery, ‘we found almost everybody alive in a basement’ was an absolute travesty, like, really? At least say they were kept alive in case they needed to be interrogated for personal information to assist with the changeling’s cover stories.
Just have Laris be in the damn season. My whole ‘so they’re side lining her for the Other ship, huh?’ thing turned out to be incorrect which, somehow??? makes ditching her even more absurd. For however crap that reason would have been, there being No reason apparent in the show is somehow more infuriating.
Elnor is assigned to the titan. It was not Seven who did this. It was Raffi being overprotective after the scare in S2. She wants him with somebody she trusts.
If Shaw dies then it Has to be AFTER he owns up to his own shit and apologises genuinely to Seven. And maybe Picard but i feel like he’d need more therapy for that one than the Seven one. He doesn’t have to die though, bc if Seven ends up captain at the end of this all it will not be the titan in a different dress.
Seven’s actions involved in saving Picard’s spawn are canonically informed by losing Icheb the way she did.
no borg sperm like i kind of said that already but Please no borg sperm
I would do something more interesting with Raffi’s family. Like, okay sure she got a happy ending there but meeting her ex gave me food for thought that the only time we’ve seen them they’ve been on scummy capitalist hellhole planets or areas, with her ex having associations with some really bad people. I think it’d be an interesting angle to play where Raffi trying to help people and do good even when it’s unpopular is something that alienates her from her family bc they kind of actually suck and her trying to do the right thing is uh, inconvenient.
Would love to know her daughter in law’s opinion of her though. Raffi fought tooth and nail for romulan refugees. But the people she knows don’t trust Raffi and just think she’s a mess. Could be fascinating.
ok gonna cut myself off and some of these things are contradictory but it was more a loose idea thing than an actual list. Some of the nostalgic quips can stay. Spot can show up bc Elnor gets a cat and names it Spot to honour Data. But yeah. Stopping.
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From your most recent ask game I thought 18 and 19 sounded like they would be fun to combine. Oh and 32 looks interesting if you wish to add that as a bonus. 36 too in fact but don't worry if that's too many. With any OC of yours that you wish to choose. Although I would very much like to see your TES characters if I may request that :D
Trying to be careful not to accidentally delete an ask draft like that one time I tried to answer your anon ask from a while ago.
And yes to anyone's wondering, spinn-virus is the anon that has been sending me oc asks. I've obtained permission to reveal her identity.
18. How easy is it to become their enemy?
Zanri: Zanri isn't one to hold grudges often. Except if you commit acts that in real world would be the equivalent of Geneva convention violations. Terrorism, unlawful torture and executions, taking hostages, to name a few.
Or insult his mom Queen Ayrenn.
Vani: The fighter Khajiit from Orcrest has no more family left, so when Zanri adopts her into his little Dominion family, one can be sure whoever brings her step brother into harm's way will not see the light of day again. Awkwardly they are being overprotective of each other, and they're not fully aware of it.
Adrastea (ESO): Just step on his pet dwarven spider, whether on accident or intentional. Or bring him cold tea. The man is unpredictable on what will trigger him and what will not.
Merri'sa: Merri'sa possesses similar demeanor as Zanri regarding combat. She's by no means a soldier of the Imperial Legion or related to any armed forces in any way, but her Imperial father was. And she has inherited his teachings of battle.
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19. How easy is it to become their friend?
Zanri + Merri'sa: You make a perfect friend of Zanri and Merri'sa if you're an archer, not a racist, a scholar, or any combination of them. In general though, anyone socially decent and respectful can be their friend regardless of background.
Vani: Do you like knives? Close range combat? Making the biggest mess possible in the kitchen? You will like Vani, and she will like you. Whether her step brother will also like you is another matter.
Adrastea (ESO): You have to be educated. Like, extremely educated. Especially on Dwemer. The way he filters out fake friends from real ones is by throwing in some Dwemer-related terminologies in his sentences and see how long they will last. And you have to know how to make a good tea. It's a bit unclear if those are requirements to be his friend or his servant.
(yes I just realized I'm basing his personality off of Neloth from Skyrim)
Adrastea (Saturn): Adra has plenty of interests so chances are one of your interests will align with him. Supercars, firearms, trance music. Or sometimes about adult stuff. He's horny.
Aeryx: Aeryx behaves almost like a house cat. Give her a little affection and she will probably cling to you for a while. Even just complimenting her coffee is enough to make her ecstatic.
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32. If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be?
Zanri: Zanri wishes he can read people better. Numerous times he felt he was used or lied to because he couldn't take hints except the obvious ones. Sarcasm is his enemy because it can take a few hours to a few days before he realizes what his interlocutor actually meant. This stems from him not wanting to judge people too quickly, which has proved to be a little bit of a double-edged sword.
Vani: Vani has been trying to take her step brother's advice of "chill the fuck out a little", though she hasn't been able to because she was born with 6 claws according to the old Khajiiti saying. Admittedly on day to day life she has learned how to keep her temper down since Zanri adopts her, but it's gone out the window when blades are out.
Adrastea (ESO): Does he need to change anything about himself? If anything, being full of himself is one. Though he believes it's just because he's still being stationed in Western Skyrim when he would appreciate somewhere warmer a lot better.
Merri'sa: Merri'sa currently seeks to be better in close range combat. It's never in her blood to be proficient in a fight that takes place within 3 meters, other than when she stealthily assassinates a bandit from behind with her dagger. Granted she is rarely involved in close range combat, but it's a skillset she wants to have.
36. Would they ever kill someone? Have they already?
Not applicable to my Saturn ocs because they're all upstanding civilians :)
Zanri: Zanri has taken plenty of lives, probably unnecessarily too many, although none has been civilians or non-combatants. From simple bandits to Dremoras he has seen a lot of blood splatter caused by his arrows. It's easy to brand him as a cold-hearted assassin who blindly follows orders from his Queen, but he knows that some evil are necessary for the greater good. And he's perfectly willing to forgive anyone who wishes to abandon their wrong ways. Except Mannimarco.
Vani: Vani doesn't have anywhere near the same kill count as Zanri. As a hot-tempered fighter however she is more willing to draw blood as her way of solving a problem. Like Zanri however, she won't fight those who can't defend themselves.
Adrastea (ESO): Adrastea used to be a Pact sergeant before he deserted, and he's slain a few dozen soldiers from other alliances, Covenant and Dominion alike. Some Pact soldiers used to call him the Incinerator because of the amount of charred corpses he left in his wake from his aggressive use of sun magic. Though it's not a name he's particularly proud of.
Merri'sa: Merri'sa has killed a lot of bandit leaders in her time, both in Skyrim and back in Cyrodiil. Though she wonders if it's possible to form a society where execution or assassination isn't necessary to solve the worst of problems. A world where there's no need to carry out a war or a battle, despite how impossible it may sound. For now she has been treating her enemies as archery target practice.
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Hello everyone! I'm Kaz, they/he, and this is my star wars sideblog!
Currently with this blog I have two plans:
liveblogging survivor - see #kaz plays survivor
(re)watching and reviewing every arc of the clone wars. This is a silly and not completely serious (just like the show!) ranking. I have a few planned criteria that I judge out of 10, as well as some bonus non linear criteria, and also a small summary of what happens in it. Currently I have criteria of:
World relevance. is it needed for the wider clone wars canon? Is this useful for worldbuilding? does it introduce any important places or plot arcs?
Character relevance. Does this arc include any important character development? does it establish any important characters?
Enjoyability. this one is pretty objective so I'm going to insert my own biased opinion to the many that litter the internet. also includes general cool moments
bonkers. the bonkers scale is based on how much balls to the walls insane stuff happens in the arc. this one is pretty independent of how good the arc is - for instance, the arc where jar jar binks meets his girlfriend who's the queen of a force using planet and is kidnapped and is also where the 'oh no meesa disappearing' meme comes from would get a 10.
is it good. now a lot of this show, I have to admit, is not the best quality. that's just what star wars is like. still fun to watch but objectively is kinda bad quality. so I'm not going to be too harsh with this scale, but also some arcs are just a lot better thought out than others and should get higher scores
bonus categories include:
memes. Do any fun memes come from this arc.
Characters: which characters appear in this?
War crimes: are war crimes committed by the Republic. do they violate the (space) geneva conventions.
#the clone wars#but yeah! hopefully this is a fun little blog that I can work on while procrastinating studying :-)
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Punappu/status/1512632286113841158?t=1nBbilb7SN2k7DKuL6nGOA&s=19
very very very nice
#i will pull all my hair out by the time monday comes is2g i need the new chapter#and if there's no leaks on monday there will be a geneva convention violation#fellas. queens. besties. gk is ending in 3 weeks :(#anon
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queencember day 8 - headcanon (...s.)
think i've already drawn my fav headcanons (ik there were some in day 1 to make up for how my take on queen is, visually, pretty similar to canon) but i do still have a few offerings for today. wrote too much on the images yet i still have things to say so transcriptions & elaboration are under the cut
first one: Good Lord This Lady Is Fucking Tall(tm). not taller than swatch/the swatchlings, or king, but pretty much everyone else. And she wears heels on top of that, which is a power move if i’ve ever seen one. (truth be told i had space to fill on the left and felt like drawing swatch lmao they don't particularly Need to be here) i play with heights a bit For The Vibes but if i were consistent, this is about how it’d be.
second one: she’s stolen the title of “the cool parent”. short of impaling himself, lil dude can do whatever he wants in her care. say a bad word, eat sweets before dinner, violate the geneva convention, stay up too late, its w/e!
the back of her head is semi-transparent i am just too lazy to draw it that way all the time. she also has a power cord "tail" that's retractable and winds into her lower back, usually used every few days when she powers down/”sleeps.” something she has to do or she starts lagging and overheating and crashing, much like a computer does, when left on for too long.
she cooks & bakes a lot too, especially for others. big hobby. forgets to use oven mitts because Robot Hands and has lightly burned people as a result. one of her many, many social media pages is a recipe blog except in half the posts she gets so distracted writing the foreword (she talks so much) she forgets to post the recipe part. arguably this is canon but i have expanded upon it, so,
if you're sad she's making you food and there is no arguing about it 💙
bonus that is not drawn but it is one of my favorites: she is so warm all the time. warm + tall = do you even KNOW how good her hugs are....
#deltarune#queencember#art#queen#lancer#doodles#kris#susie#rouxls kaard#swatch#wanted to do a third page but i started this too late and only finished two#thats ok im sure they'll come up again i draw her way way too much even regardless of queencember asfjkljlkdf#headcanons#girl help its almost 5AM i am so SLEEBYYYYY
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Y’all wanna know how my train of thoughts work like 24/7? I had a big nerd mind expansion moment while trying to organize my Hollow Knight thoughts where I pulled out my entomology textbook because I was thinking about eusocial insect societies (ants, honey bees, termites)— and when I typed out a description of them in a way that pointed out how messed up it is when you give it morals (in short, I described them as producing a “self-sacrificing, unthinking, emotionless, will-lacking army”), I was like “woah, wait a minute, no mind to think”, and I realized I don't really know all that much about termites or how their societies/genetics differ from hymenopterans (ants, bees, and wasps), but I knew they DO have a king, so I looked into it more and then did a deep dive into reading scientific papers about caste determination and colony structure and then when I went to find a diagram of it—
*fucking x-files theme plays with a dramatic zoom-in*
TLDR; the Pale King’s basically a termite.
Supporting info and other interesting (to me!) facts about termites below the cut:
(Here’s the publication that diagram is from in case anyone wants to read about queen termite reproductive strategies lmao)
Termites are monogamous until one of the pair dies. Queens can produce new queens through parthenogenesis (making babies without a male, so 100% of their genes are from her, but they aren’t necessarily straight clones). So if she needs to she can make a bunch of younger versions of herself.
I googled “are termites monogamous” for confirmation and forgot to specify Google Scholar and there is... so much going on here
Some reproductives are meant to leave the colony to start new ones, and thus have wings (and are called “alates”). Their wings are shimmery and very pretty and like twice the length of their bodies so all those headcanons where people give PK wings are valid.
Irrelevant to my point, but interesting: Unlike hymenopterans, in which males are haploid (only have one copy of each gene), termite males are diploid (have two copies, which is standard in most animals). Honey bees have some weird genetic fuckery because of that which results in the females (all diploid) of a colony sharing an average of 75% of their genes with each other (average full-sibling relatedness is 50%).
Also unlike ants and honey bees, the males don’t fuck off and die after mating. In those groups, the queen can mate once and then produce fertile eggs whenever she feels like it, but in termites the king sticks around and they just... constantly go at it, I guess. (Which, considering that being isolated and bound is enough to keep the WL from making more kids, maybe this one is a point in my favor.)
Workers and soldiers can be either male or female, unlike ants/bees where all workers are female, but are kept sterile via pheromones, so they’re functionally all kept neutral.
Some soldiers produce acids and will straight-up explode themselves during warfare, or use their massive heads to physically block tunnels from intruders, and commit numerous other acts that would violate the Geneva Conventions. Bugs have no morals and by our standards they’re all dirty little sinners running around committing war crimes.
I read something about mass burial pits, but couldn’t find more information on it other than that they exist??
Their architectural skills are incredible. The craftsmanship! You’ve got the classic “cathedral” style towers typically associated with termite mounds (largely constructed from shit, btw— maybe that’s why Ogrim is a fav), but some species apparently make “cartons” (papery nests) up on tree trunks.
Termites love wood. PK’s wife is a tree.
#we're going full cringey on main boys#i just think they're neat#PK in the diagram was for 'primary king'#but i saw it and literally heard the x-files theme lol#OP#is this infodumping? i'm sorry#*me reading about termite sex* i'm doing research it's important#is this not the content y'all followed me for#isoptera#insects#termites#bugs#hollow knight#pale king#hk pale king
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Cosmere as things my dnd group has said:
Kelek: “Bald, horny, and radiant”
Dalinar: “As the wisest party member, I think we should go out of our way to violate the Geneva Conventions.”
Jasnah to Kaladin: "Your backbone is so weak I could probably use it as a whip"
Wayne: “The Earth is flat, but this ass isn’t”
Also Jasnah: "According to my calculations: takes out a glock and shoots you"
Lopen about Rua: “My little slime man, I’m so happy for him. I named him Jello.”
Drehy: "Two bros can be two brides"
Jasnah and Wit: “how are you feeling about that?”
“I dunno, horny?”
Hoid: "You're right on the thot part aha"
Sazed: “Oh no problemo. Is that what the kids say?”
Kaladin to Shallan: "I don't think you'd be able to stomp on me with your little gamer girl feet"
Eshonai: “If I never come back, I’m sorry guys, but it was for a just cause- seeing stuff”
Nalthians who want that good good breath: “Hey queen, just a little breath,, even a sniff will do”
Lift: “I’m going to skate up like the goddamn sliver surfer”
Vin: “So I heard someone was trying to get me killed with grey ooze. Not cool, dudes.”
Dalinar and Kaladin:
“Dude. Son.”
...
...
...
“Father?”
Szeth and Kaladin next book:
“I feel like I’m having a one man conversation”
“More like a half a man conversation”
Wit: "I would force feed you hot wax, but you have no taste so there's no point"
#stormlight archive#cosmere#cosmemes#mistborn#warbreaker#jasnah kholin#kaladin stormblessed#shallan davar#dalinar kholin#hoid#incorrect cosmere quotes#cremposting
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Late Bloomers: Ezra x F! Reader w/Cee
A/n: Set in the "Liminal" AU in which Ezra becomes his niece, Cee's legal guardian after a car accident kills his brother, Damon, and costs him his arm. Set sometime between "Ferris Wheels Are For Old People" and "Surf City Goodness." Reader is Ezra's neighbor. Established relationship (sort of, IDK how to tag what they are). For @autumnleaves1991-blog and @clydesducktape Writer Wednesday.
Warnings: Not a whole lot. Kissing. Touching. A little spicier than I usually go, which isn't saying whole lot. A little language. Cee, as usual, needs her own warning. Set during the pandemic shut down. Mentions of covid. Also, I feel like 'The Apple' needs it's own warning. I'll link the trailer at the end.
"You sure you don't want to come with us, Birdie?" Cee sits at their scarred kitchen table, her laptop, textbooks and a pile of papers around her. She frowns.
"I gotta study," she says, "Ms Stewart is really serious about this quiz. She's not grading on a curve this time." Ezra narrows his eyes.
"You have never spent a Saturday night studying in your life," he says. Cee frowns up at him.
"You've never been in Ms. Stewart's physics class," says Cee, "She's a hard ass. Anyway, I'm still pulling an 'A' in her class, but I don't want to fuck up my average."
"Jesus, Cee," Ezra mutters, and you have to smile. She rolls her eyes.
"I know, I know--"
"Don't say 'fuck' at school," they say in unison.
"They're doing double features all summer," says Cee, "I can miss one. I've seen all these movies anyway." She smirks, "I want to hear what you think of 'The Apple.'" Ezra rummages around for his keys and Cee drops you the most exaggerated wink you've ever seen in your life.
"Have fun, guys," she says.
Covid has nuked most of the things you used to do for fun, restaurants and shows, hell, even the libraries are closed. The only business in town that's thriving is the Star-City Drive In. There haven't been any big studio releases in a while, so they've been doing Fright Night Fridays and Sci-Fi Saturdays. Tonight's double feature is Flash Gordon and The Apple.
"They've got this weird way of operating the concession stand now," says Ezra, "Cause of the pandemic. You've gotta text them your order and I guess they bring it out to you--" Ezra's gotten pretty good at working his phone one-handed, but you can see the frustration clouding his face.
"Let me," you say, loading the menu onto your phone, "Let's get a big popcorn and share it. You okay with the fake butter?"
"Of course I'm okay with the fake butter, what kind of monster do you take me for?"
"How about candy?" You ask, scrolling through, "It's the usual suspects."
"Sno-caps," he says, "How about you?"
"I'm thinking Milk Duds," you say.
"Now that is an excellent way to lose a filling, Sunshine."
"Popcorn and Milk Duds together? Worth the risk," you say and text your order off to the concession stand. It's not quite dark yet, a reel of movie trivia that no one cares about shines ghost pale on the screen. Ez has got the radio tuned to pick up the sound, but there's not much to listen to yet so it's turned down low, background noise with the cicadas and birdsong. The big screen backs up against a farmer's field run wild and a dark stand of trees.
"Switch places with me," says Ezra, and gets out of the truck. He comes around to your side and opens the door for you.
"Why?"
"Indulge me," says Ezra, so you do as he asks and settle in to the driver's side. Ezra's truck has bench seats with vinyl that creaks and cushions that hiss slightly as you move around. There's a tap at the window and you hook your mask over your ears and crank it down, popcorn and candy and you already payed with your phone, but press some rumpled bills into their gloved hands.
"Why'd you want to switch places?" You ask around a mouthful of popcorn.
"Shhh," says Ezra, "The movie's starting."
Flash Gordon is just as fun as you remember it being, majestic in its absurdity, a big love letter to all the terrible pulp sci-fi movies that came before, the two of you watch and snark and laugh and sing "Aaa-ahhh" whenever someone says Flash's name. We owe it to Queen, you say, and Ezra smiles big the way he does when something's caught him off guard, the way that crinkles his eyes and reveals his dimples, indeed we do. We owe it to Freddie Mercury. At some point his arm finds it's way around your shoulders and you lean into him.
"So this is why you wanted to switch spots," you murmur. He raises his prosthetic arm, flickering movie light shining on the double hook at the end.
"Can't exactly get handsy with Mr. Claw, now can I?" He grins, "These hooks might be a little chilly."
"And pokey," you say, demonstrating with a dig to his ribs. The end credits are rolling.
"You ever seen this next movie?"
"The Apple?" He says, "No. Some sort of cult-movie thing. Cee made me promise not to IMDB it. She said I should go in with an open mind."
"Oh boy," you laugh.
"Right? Cee's tastes are all over the place. I suspect this will be either amazing or terrible on a scale that recalibrates our internal gauge of what terrible is."
"You know she set us up, right?"
"Yeah," says Ezra, "Little Bird fancies herself quite the matchmaker."
"She winked at me." Ezra dimples.
"Did she now?"
"She looked like a cartoon," you laugh, "About as subtle as a ton of bricks." Ezra brays laughter and leans against you, squeezes you closer to him at the same time. He is beautiful when he laughs, all dimples and teeth eyes screwed shut in mirth and you take this opportunity to press a kiss against that tender place on his jaw where his beard refuses to grow. Ezra freezes, you feel his body go rigid against yours, and your first thought is to apologize, to pull back, and then he reaches for you, his broad, calloused palm cradling your face, drawing you to him, presses his lips to yours, a soft, reverent kiss that he does not fully withdraw from, his hand now resting on the nape of your neck, forehead pressed to yours, somehow more intimate than a kiss, this closeness, breathing each others exhalations, leaning against each other.
"Cee's not wrong," you say, "We're good together."
"We are, aren't we?" He gives your nape a gentle squeeze, and lets you go. The opening titles of The Apple flicker on screen and the music starts up.
"Oh, Ezra, what the fuck did we just watch?"
"I don't know if 'watch' is the right word, Sunshine, we did not 'watch' The Apple. The Apple happened to us."
"I don't think I've ever understood Stockholm syndrome until now."
"I have been assaulted," says Ezra, "My civil rights have been violated."
"It's like..." You trail off, "It's like if someone took '1984', 'A Star Is Born' and 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' and put them in a blender. I'm pretty sure this movie violates the Geneva conventions." Ezra laughs and so do you, leaning in to each other, giggles that become kisses, soft at first, but increasingly hungry, laced with need, your arms twine around his shoulders, his hand lingers at your side, toying with the hem of your shirt.
"S'okay, Ez," you say as he nips at your jaw and then your neck, gentle graze of teeth that makes you shiver, "You can touch me." He kisses you deep, his tongue fever-hot against yours, hand sliding up the soft slope of your belly, cupping your breast, and you arch into his touch--
Tap Tap Tap. And there's a bright light shining through the passenger's side window.
"Oh shit," says Ezra. You frantically yank your shirt back down, heat creeping up your neck, your cheeks, your earlobes flaming.
"Movie's over guys," says the shadowed figure behind the flashlight's glare, "Take it someplace else." You open the door to switch places back with Ezra, the overhead light shows him red faced and horrified.
"I'm sorry, I just--"
"Get us out of here, Ez."
You stare out into the dark past the window, half-moon shining over fields and trees like a lazy eye. You snort laughter.
"What's so funny?"
"We got caught," you say, "We got caught necking at the drive-in like a couple of teenagers."
"You're laughing because we got caught?"
"I'm laughing because I've never made out with anyone at a drive-in, even when I was a teenager, and I'm laughing cause we got caught. After watching that trash-fire of a movie. We got caught making out over the end credits of 'The Apple'. I feel like we deserve some kind of award." You rest your hand on Ezra's leg, can just pick his smile in the dim lights from the dash. Ezra chuckles.
"I never made out with anyone at the drive in before tonight either," says Ezra.
"Bullshit," you say, and give him a good-natured poke.
"It's true," he says, "For one, I didn't have access to a car. I would've had to borrow Ma's car, and there was no way that was ever going to happen. Also, I was not what the girls back then referred to as 'dating material'. Skinny as a rake with a mouthful of braces and an obvious birthmark? I was like a puppy trying to grow into it's ears and feet, a late bloomer if you will." You move your hand higher up along his thigh and give him a squeeze.
"Better late than never."
"Indeed."
Flash Gordon Trailer
The Apple Trailer
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Me: aw the winner of this old season of rupaul’s drag race is great! I’ll google her to see what she’s up to now!
Internet: your favorite drag queen groomed a minor, notoriously uses swastikas in her acts, has worn blackface multiple times, and is accused of violating the geneva conventions during a 2014 drag cruise
Me:
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"Cress" By: Marissa Meyer (Book Three of The Lunar Chronicles)
5/5 stars!!!
(Minor Spoilers!!) Plot: In this re-telling of Rapunzel, Cress (our re-told Rapunzel) tries to escape from her imprisonment on her satellite with the help of Cinder and the rest of her group. When the escape plan goes awry the group must find a way to prevent Queen Levana's plans from going through, while learning the dark secrets of the Lunar kingdom.
Once again this is a great continuation of this series. I genuinely cried at many points in this book. It is well written and develops in a really amazing way. It's interesting and keeps the plot moving in a really great way. And the reason for her hair being long (as this is a Rapunzel re-telling) actually makes sense and isn't lazily explained like so many re-tellings can be. I also really love how the characters develop and change through the story. Especially Carswell Thorne. There's never a dull moment in this book too. Every chapter serves to push the plot and there aren't any "filler" chapters ("filler" chapters being chapters that only serve to lengthen the book.
(Minor Spoilers!!!) I honestly didn't find anything in this novel that I didn't like. I really liked how Cress's crush on Thorne develops. Their friendship is super sweet in this book and I really admire how Marissa Meyer had Cress grow out of her idolization of him into a deeper understanding of him.
Favorite Quote: "Maybe there isn't such a thing as fate. Maybe it's just the opportunities we're given, and what we do with them. I'm beginning to think that maybe great, epic romances don't just happen. We have to make them ourselves"
Trigger Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Mind Control, Geneva Convention Violations, Human Trafficking.
#lihn cinder#the lunar chronicles#lunar chronicles#luna#queen levana#carswell thorne#thorne#wolf#cress darnel#crescent moon#cresswell#kaider#emperor kai#marissa meyer#wolflet#rapunzel#fairy tale retelling#cinderella#little red riding hood#ya books#ya fantasy#fantasy#cyborg#fairy tales#book rec list#book reccs#book rec#reading recommendations#reading list#ya literature
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