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tloaak · 3 months

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today we lost the great Efeso Collins, during a charity event to raise funds for clean drinking water for children in the pacific. here is his incredible parliamentary maiden speech from just last week (transcript below). i encourage you to listen, and if you can, donate to childfund's water fund here

Tēnā koe, Mr Speaker. Mai i ngā hau o Ōtāhuhu-nui-a-Rangi, o Maungarei, o Motukaroa; mai i ngā awa o Hikuwaru, o Tāmaki e rere ki te Waitematā, kei te Mānukanuka-o-Hoturoa, ko Kaiwhare, ko Taramainuku kua tau, kua tau ki ngā whenua o Ngāti Toa Rangatira, o Taranaki Whānui ki Te Ūpoko o Te Ika. Tēnā anō tatou.

[From the winds of Ōtāhuhu, of Mount Wellington, of Hamlin's Hill; from the rivers of Hikuwaru, of Tāmaki flowing to the Waitematā, to the Mānukau Harbour; Kaiwhare and Taramainuku have arrived, have arrived to the lands of Ngāti Toa Rangatira, of Taranaki Whānui in the Wellington region. Greetings to us all.]

E fakatālofa atu ki te māmālu o koutou na tamāna ma na mātua, vena foki na uho ma tuafāfine kua mafai ke fakatahi i te po nei. Vikia te Atua ko tātou kua mafai ke fakatahi venei. Mālo ma fakafetai.

Fai mai ina ua teʻi ae Iakopo i le mea sa moe ai, ona ia fai ane lea, e moni lava e i ai Ieova i le mea nei. E moni lava e i ai Ieova i le mea nei. Faafetai le Atua aua e le faaitiitia lou viiga. Ua ifo i ati malie tuʻumoega o le taeao le sa tafa i vanu tafaoga o manu sisina, ae sa faalepa le au pea, sa fili ma le manoa le fetu taʻimatagi, ae sei faalaolao le puli matagi aua ua nofoia vao tutuʻi i le malumalu ma nuʻu malumau o le maota.

Ou te le fagota la i le sao aua ua uma ona fili le utu ma uu le vao fofou. Fai mai le matematega nai tumua, ua pei o se iʻa e moemauga o le atuolo, o foliga matagofie ia ma le maualuga, maualuga lava o lenei aso aisea, ae a lea ua malutaueʻe le tiʻa sa maluʻia, ua tapu lalaga foʻi le vaʻa o le Tuimanʻua mamana ua atoa laʻau i fogaʻa.

Faafetai le Atua le Tama, le Alo ma le Agaga Sa, aua sa tu i Fagalilo tapaau o le alataua, ae sa matemate foʻi aiga sa Tagaloa pe tua ma ni a lenei aso. Ae faafetai i le Atua, aua ua tepa i ula, tagaʻi i ula, foʻi atu lou viiga e faavavau. Faafetai i le tapuaʻiga a oʻu matua ma oʻu aiga, faafetai tele i matua o si oʻu toʻalua ma ona aiga, i le latou lagolago aemaise talosaga molia. Faafetai i uo ma e masani, aemaise o le paʻia o le aufaigaluega totofi a le Atua, i soʻo se fata faitaulaga—Faafetai tatalo. Ae faapitoaugafa saʻu faafetai i si oʻu toalua Finevasa Fia aemaise si aʻu fanau pele Tapuiela ma Asalemo faafetai tatalo, malo le onosaʻi. Ae tapuaʻi maia ma le manuia.

Mr Speaker, it is an indescribable feeling to stand up and address this House. As a son of Samoan immigrants who made the mighty Ōtara 274—Southside hard—their home, I am well aware of the giants whose shoulders I stand on and the masters whose feet I learnt at. The courage, foresight, entrepreneurial spirit, and hope of our ancestors who journeyed thousands of years ago through the vast waters of Te Moana-nui-a-Kiwa brings me here today.

My parents arrived in New Zealand in the early 1960s, told that this was the land of milk and honey. Dad started off as a taxi driver with South Auckland Taxis, and mum on the factory floor at New Zealand Forest Products in Penrose. We lived in a four-bedroom State house on Preston Road in Ōtara, and I attended local schools: East Tāmaki Primary, Ferguson Intermediate, and the great Tangaroa College. We're forever grateful for the State house that was our home for around 20 years, and the quality public education we received from our local State schools.

I did try my hand for a short period at a decile 10 school outside of Ōtara, but that experiment lasted only two weeks. It was during the time in the late 1980s, when families from poorer areas were being discouraged from going to local schools because they weren't considered up to scratch. I'm glad we changed course and decided to high school it in Ōtara, where the motto of our school was "Waiho i te tokā tu Moana"—"Steadfast like a rock in the sea".

Later, at university, I went on to write my Master's dissertation on brown flight, critiquing the Picot reforms that have wreaked havoc on our public schooling system. That period was also a challenging time for my family because we were being told by our teachers to stop speaking Samoan at home and only to speak English. My parents didn't want us to fail at school, so we were allowed to speak English at home and over time we stopped speaking Samoan altogether. In the end, I lost my language. I struggled, I was embarrassed, and I felt incomplete. Even speaking to you in Samoan this evening gives me major tremors.

There's a saying in Samoan: "E le tu fa'amauga se tagata"—no one stands alone, no one succeeds alone—and, for me, no one suffers alone. Over the past years, with the support of my family and friends, I've taken to trying to converse again in Samoan, reading more texts in Samoan, praying in Samoan, and sending our youngest to a local Samoan early childhood centre. Our beautiful language, Gagana Samoa, has returned to our home and is helping to overcome the inadequacy that had taken root in my soul.

As I speak this evening, I'm mindful of the many young people who are navigating these at times treacherous and unsettled waters in life, filled with so much potential, energy, and hope, yet too often misunderstood. In my time as a youth worker in South Auckland, I've spoken with hundreds of young people with massive dreams for the future. We need youth workers, we need social workers, and we need mentors to walk alongside our young people, and, yes, we want our youth to be responsible and caring and considerate. So it's our job in this House to resource the people and organisations who will model the behaviour to them that we expect, but who also won't give up on them and won't come with a saviour mentality.

Many of our societal challenges are driven by poverty. We can achieve greater social cohesion and lift our sense of belonging by addressing poverty. I've been honoured to run youth mentoring programmes for nearly 25 years—that's about how old I am—and to this day I mentor young people. When we undertook and published research on youth gangs some years ago, the youth we spoke to had the solutions and just needed the means to make it happen. Too many of our young people are filling our prisons, and it is wasted human potential. Give them the tools, the resources, and the means to make a meaningful contribution to the world, and they will. I was at a conference recently about the threats to democracy and an attendee spoke about their work in developing nations and used the familiar retort, "You can't eat democracy." And I couldn't agree more. This House, this centre of democracy, needs to do more to engage our people, all of our people, so that they can see this House is not just relevant but an essential part of their lives.

The greatest challenge facing our generation is climate change. The Pacific Islands nations are among the most vulnerable to climate change in the world. The world's continued reliance on fossil fuels, loss of coral reefs, rising sea levels, and increasing severe weather patterns means that our extended whānau in the Pacific are in immediate danger. We, as a collective, must do all we can to do as we say out south "flip the script". Truth is, those who've done the least to create this predicament are being the hardest hit. Our challenges, whether ecological, geopolitical, or cultural, are diverse, but we're bonded by the inextricable ties we have to our lands and our oceans. We've inherited philosophies, knowledge systems, and profound ecological wisdom that holds the answers and drives our collective resilience—from West Papua to Hawai'i. Our fight for a climate resilient, nuclear-free and independent Pacific remains as strong as ever. We are not drowning; we are fighting.

I haven't come to Parliament to learn—learning happens as a matter of course through reflection. I've come to this House to help. Helping is a deliberate act. I'm here to help this Government govern for all of New Zealand, and I'm here to open the door, enabling our communities to connect better with this House. During the election campaign, I spoke to people frustrated about their lot in life, scared for their and their children's futures, and feeling their dreams were slipping away. The people I spoke to expect the Government to do more and move faster. And I know that there are some in this House who believe Government is not the answer to these challenges and that less Government is better. But here's the thing: the Government cannot be a bystander to people suffering confusion and disenfranchisement. New Zealand must close the divide between those who have and those who have not, because the reality for my community is that those who have more money often wield more power, more health, more housing, more justice, more access, more canopy cover, more lobbyists with swipe cards, and more time. And the opposite is true for those who have fewer resources.

It's hard to be poor, it's expensive to be poor, and moreover, public discourse is making it socially unacceptable to be poor. Whether it's bashing on beneficiaries, dragging our feet towards a living wage, throwing shade on school breakfast programmes, or restricting people's ability to collectively bargain for fairer working conditions, we must do better to lift aspirations and the lived realities of all our people. To that end, I want to say to this House with complete surety that the neoliberal experiment of the 1980s has failed. The economics of creating unemployment to manage inflation is farcical when domestic inflation in New Zealand has been driven by big corporates making excessive profits. It's time to draw a line in the sand, and alongside my colleagues here in Te Pāti Kākāriki, we've come as the pallbearers of neoliberalism, to bury these shallow, insufferable ideas once and for all. And this, sir, is our act of love.

Paolo Freire, in his seminal work Pedagogy of the Oppressed, said love is an act of courage, not fear; love is a commitment to others. No matter where the oppressed are found, the act of love is a commitment to their cause, the cause of liberation. The most recent election campaign left many in our Māori communities bruised and targeted for the perceived privileges supposedly bestowed upon them. Shared governance is a rich concept about how we include those who've been excluded for far too long in the work of this House and the democratic institutions that are fundamental to our collective wellbeing. We are Tangata Tiriti and we have nothing to fear. As a New Zealand-born Samoan living in South Auckland, I've experienced, written about, and spoken about racism in this country. I've also been on a well-publicised journey in understanding the needs and views of our rainbow communities, and I have a long way to go. And my message to whānau who often experience the sharp end of discrimination—disabled, ethnic, rainbow, brown, seniors, and neurodiverse—is thank you for trusting us with the responsibility of facilitating a new discussion on how we move forward together and make possible what was once deemed impossible.

The American civil rights activist James Baldwin said, "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." We commit to working across this House as a nation and with each other irrespective of our post code, income bracket, skin colour, or level of qualification attained. But, in order for that work, we must come with humility, the desire to listen, and dare I say it, maybe speaking last. If I was to inspire anyone by getting to this House and my work over the next three years, I hope that it's the square pegs, the misfits, the forgotten, the unloved, the invisible—it's the dreamers who want more, expect more, are impatient for change, and have this uncanny ability to stretch us further.

#nzpol #the speech is only about 16 minutes #the last 10m are downtime between speeches #Vimeo #Youtube

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pawsitivevibe · 22 days

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Happy 12th birthday Haley Bagel!!!

World's #1 bestest girl, superstar angel baby. You cost me so much monies in vet bills but they are worth it because you're the coolest dog ever!!

We almost lost her recently and she spent a couple days in the emergency vet, so this birthday is even more special. Hopefully there will be many more. ❤️ She is such a brave and happy dog despite her IMPA and IVDD and dietary constraints. Her quality of life is still so high even with the health struggles over the last few years. She takes daily medications and eats special food, and that keeps her well managed. She still loves to do stuff, and she's even going to compete in hoopers this year. My special little everything bagel. It doesn't feel like she's been my best friend for almost 12 years! How time flies. She's been with me through all the big life changes.ahes completely devoted to me.

#dogblr #mixed breed #haley

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legs-art · 2 months

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ELEMENTAL REALM / ECLECTIC CHAMBER OCS!

Hiiiiiii first art post I'm sharing publicly! This has been a month in the making but it's so worth it. These are a handful of characters in my OC universe, the Elemental Realm! AKA the Eclectic Chamber, I'm currently going through a name change from elemental realm to eclectic chamber. Don't worry about that.

Italicized names mean those are placeholders while I still try to come up with a better name. For some, those placeholders have been there for years :P whoops

These comprise pretty much all the significant characters I have (with a guideline of appearing in at least 2 stories although there's some exceptions). There are roughly another 100 or so characters that I opted not to include because they're either not as significant, I don't have an interesting design for them, or I just didn't feel like it. Full namedrop behind the read more in case you're interested! Maybe I'll do a part 2 of this in a year or so, who knows.

If there's any characters here that tickle your fancy, shoot an ask or a comment for me to infodump about them! Quality of infodumping may vary, especially considering I still have to step around spoilers and whatnot, but I'm very interested to show you how these characters have been sculpted in my head over these past several years. (Also, I will be revealing some info about the story ideas I already have in mind for the Elemental Realm soon, so stay tuned for that!)

Uhhhhhh yeah. Hopefully I'm not forgetting to say anything important. I really love what I made lol I hope I can finally start moving this universe outside of my head and into the world ^_^

Anyway, yeah, sorry to the following for not making the cut:

The Pawn

OBJECT

Pirate Cat

Frost Wyvern

The Other Plant Species

Ishmael

Olive Hills Grandmother

Disco Restituo Grandmother

TVHead Salesperson

The Hidden Prime Minister

AtmOS

Operatic Nobeard

KUR-180 (Ferret Form)

Hyperlink Trace II

Squirrel

Wibblewobble Vortex

Cuttlefish "Danger" Aromantic

Sporror

Teodoro Locksmith

Galleria Monies

Vapo Sea Devil

Sternum Crease

Base Sorceress

Nom Diamonds

Zareen Hangus

Mark Genuine

Blundered Impersonator

Alice

Senderman

Jasper

Cow Cowboy

Blood Knight

Ice Prince

Ice Squid

Ice Cephalopod

Stratos

Kozmo

Old Guy With Badger Stand

Overseer

Loomynutty

Blobular Shapeshifter

Santa

Krampus

Chad Shakespeare

Angelsbane

Elephant Friend

The Tourist Trap

Fluffy Boy Rabbit

Fluffy Boy Bear

TTRPG Komodo Dragon

Windmill Gnome

Robot Police Dog

Little Mouse Guy

Perfect Soup Nerd Bird

Sentient Tiny Hot Air Balloon

Lugnarts

Verde Mermaid

Clownimatronic / The Machine

The Crescents

Suntronic

Mongoose Man

Blizzard Wizard

Kulfi Wala

The Beast

Still Chaos Penguin

Caged Water Beast

Metakellos

Monsterfucker Snake Robot

Rodrigo

Crystal Aurora King

Star Matter Ursa

Glorp

ANN-13

Crysple

X-02

Pyramid Of Mayhem

Fishbowl

Top Hat

Alien Traffic Control Tower

Fridgey

Dice

Easel

The Stalker

Majesty Of Colors

Andromeda V5

#legs elemental realm #legs eclectic chamber #legfins art

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sunshinesmebdy · 4 months

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Balancing the Scales: Asteroid Mony in Libra and its Influence on Business Wisdom

In the intricate dance of celestial bodies, astrology has long been regarded as a tool for gaining insights into various aspects of life, including business and finance. One celestial player that holds particular significance is the asteroid Mony, with its current positioning in the zodiac sign of Libra. In this blog article, we delve into the mystical realm of astrology to explore the potential effects of asteroid Mony in Libra on business and finance. So, fasten your seatbelts as we embark on a cosmic journey into the world of economic energies guided by the stars.

Understanding Asteroid Mony:

Asteroid Mony, also known as Monya, is a celestial body that astrologers believe can influence financial matters and wealth accumulation. Its placement in different zodiac signs is thought to bring specific qualities and energies to the forefront. Currently stationed in Libra, the sign of balance and harmony, Mony’s cosmic influence takes on a unique and intriguing dimension.

Harmony and Negotiation in Business:

Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of love and beauty, emphasizing aesthetics, balance, and negotiation. With Mony in Libra, businesses may find themselves more attuned to the principles of harmony in their operations. This celestial alignment suggests that negotiations and partnerships will be crucial for success during this period. Entrepreneurs and business leaders are encouraged to seek win-win situations and adopt a diplomatic approach to financial dealings.

Real-life example: A global technology firm, recognizing the need for collaboration during the Mony in Libra transit, engaged in diplomatic negotiations with international partners. By fostering a harmonious working relationship, they successfully navigated complex regulatory landscapes, enabling smoother market entry and expansion.

Balancing the Financial Scales:

Libra is symbolized by the scales, representing justice, fairness, and balance. When Mony aligns with Libra, it can inspire individuals and businesses to reevaluate their financial strategies, ensuring that they are fair and just. This celestial alliance encourages fiscal responsibility and ethical financial practices, fostering a sense of equilibrium in the business world.

Real-life example: A financial institution, inspired by the celestial alliance of Mony in Libra, initiated a review of its lending practices. They implemented fair interest rates and transparent terms, ensuring that their financial strategies aligned with principles of justice and fairness. This not only improved customer trust but also contributed to long-term financial stability.

Creativity and Aesthetic Ventures:

Venus, as the ruler of Libra, also brings a touch of creativity and aesthetic appreciation to the forefront. Businesses may find that investing in artistic ventures or incorporating aesthetic elements into their products and services could prove beneficial during this cosmic alignment. Appealing to the senses and focusing on the visual aspect of branding may be key to capturing the market’s attention.

Real-life example: An innovative tech startup, recognizing the influence of Mony in Libra, revamped its product design to incorporate aesthetically pleasing elements. The redesigned user interface not only enhanced the user experience but also attracted a broader audience, leading to increased market share and improved financial performance.

Strategic Financial Planning:

As Libra is known for its strategic thinking and analytical approach, the combination of Mony and Libra suggests that meticulous financial planning will be rewarded. Businesses are encouraged to analyze their financial structures, investments, and expenses with a discerning eye. Strategic decision-making and calculated risks could lead to financial success during this celestial alignment.

Real-life example: A manufacturing company, guided by the analytical approach of Libra and Mony’s influence, implemented a comprehensive financial planning strategy. This involved a thorough analysis of production costs, strategic investments in technology, and calculated risks in entering new markets. The result was increased operational efficiency and significant revenue growth.

While skeptics may dismiss astrology as mere superstition, many individuals find solace and guidance in its teachings. The alignment of asteroid Mony in Libra offers a unique perspective on business and finance, encouraging businesses to embrace balance, harmony, and strategic thinking in their financial endeavors. Whether you’re a firm believer in astrology or simply intrigued by its mystique, exploring the cosmic influences on business can be a fascinating journey that adds a touch of celestial magic to the world of commerce.

Here are some tips for navigating this transit:

Embrace Diplomacy in Negotiations: During the transit of asteroid Mony in Libra, prioritize diplomatic and harmonious negotiations. Seek win-win situations, and approach business dealings with a spirit of cooperation and compromise. Building positive relationships will contribute to long-term success.

Reevaluate Financial Strategies with Fairness: The scales of Libra symbolize justice and balance. Take this opportunity to review your financial strategies and ensure they are fair and just. Consider implementing ethical financial practices, as this alignment encourages businesses to operate with integrity and transparency.

Strategic Financial Planning is Key: Libra’s strategic thinking, combined with Mony’s financial influence, calls for meticulous financial planning. Analyze your financial structures, investments, and expenses with precision. Develop a strategic roadmap that aligns with your business goals, helping you navigate potential challenges and seize opportunities.

Incorporate Aesthetics for Market Appeal: Venus, the ruler of Libra, brings a creative and aesthetic touch to the transit. Consider incorporating visual appeal into your products, services, or branding. Aesthetically pleasing elements can capture the attention of your target audience and set your business apart in the competitive market.

Foster Equilibrium in Business Operations: Strive for balance in all aspects of your business. Whether it’s balancing budgets, workloads, or team dynamics, maintaining equilibrium is crucial during this celestial alignment. Avoid extremes and find the middle ground to create a stable and sustainable business environment.

Cultivate Ethical Financial Practices: Libra’s influence emphasizes fairness and ethical considerations. Evaluate your financial practices to ensure they align with ethical standards. Adopting transparent and morally sound financial practices not only resonates positively with stakeholders but also contributes to long-term business stability.

Explore Artistic Ventures for Innovation: Leverage the creative energy brought forth by Mony in Libra to explore artistic ventures within your business. Whether it’s incorporating artistic elements into your marketing campaigns or investing in creative projects, tapping into the realm of aesthetics can lead to innovative solutions and heightened consumer engagement.

Be Mindful of Timing in Financial Decisions: Libra is associated with balance and timing. When making significant financial decisions, consider the timing carefully. Waiting for the opportune moment and aligning your actions with the natural flow of cosmic energies can enhance the success of your financial endeavors.

By incorporating these tips into your business strategies, you can harness the positive energies associated with asteroid Mony in Libra, creating a harmonious and prosperous path for your business and financial ventures.

#business astrology #business horoscopes #astrology updates #astro #astrology facts #astro notes #astrology #astro girlies #astro posts #astrology community #astrology observations #astropost #astro observations #astro community #asteriods #astrology asteroids

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emeraldspiral · 6 months

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Zim episode where the Tallest are reviewing Invader salaries. The Empire is actually making a lot of monies charging people to park their ships on the planet formerly known as Blorch, so they can afford to give raises/expand the budget for most Invaders. When they get to Zim though, they lie and say that monies are tight so he's going to have to take a pay cut, but they're confident he's so resourceful he can make it work. He just needs to spend less on Starbucks and avocado toast.

Zim then has to re-budget for his mission, which is difficult because he's got a lot of non-negotiables like toys to keep GIR and Minimoose happy and cooperative, or rare and expensive power sources to keep certain parts of his base running or maintain experiments, or high-quality snacks, which doesn't leave a lot left over for supplies to build doomsday weapons. One of his cost-cutting measures is releasing most of his enemies from Moo-Ping 10 because only #777 is really essential to him and he figures the rest have "probably learned their lesson" and completely fails to consider that they might come after him for revenge. He tries to get his computer to help, but then doesn't listen to any of its advice.

His main cost-cutting measure however, is getting cheap parts and knock-off equipment made by Vartian scientists since the good stuff made by Vortians is too expensive. He ends up buying a defective product that blows up in his face during a battle with Dib and is promptly visited by an alien lawyer who informs him that he may be entitled to compensation. Zim files a lawsuit and gets a fat settlement for twice his previous Invader salary, but he blows a lot of it on fancy snacks and one big extravagant superweapon which also blows up in his face. But because the Vortians that made it have more money to fight litigation they're able to get a lawyer who can prove the accident was user error and Zim is awarded no compensation.

#invader zim

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zot3-flopped · 1 month

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This album is okay. I understand that Taylor Swift is not someone you’re supposed to feel okay about—she is either the great redeemer of English-language arts and letters in the 21st century, as her fans have it, or a total cornball foisted upon the public by the evil record industry, as the haters say. The truth is that she is a talented artist who has reinvigorated popular music as a storytelling medium—but who has, all along, suffered from some quality-control issues.

The Tortured Poets Department, her 11th studio album, could recalibrate the way we talk about her. Much of the album is a dreary muddle, but with strange and surprising charms, and a couple of flashes of magic. This record is not a work of unimpeachable genius, nor does it feel engineered into existence by a committee of monied interests—it’s way too long and uneven to be, from any point of view, savvy ...

Rest behind a paywall.

#another negative review #anti taylor swift #the department of tortured poets #the atlantic

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lumelii · 1 year

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hi ho! it's been a while. but i come bearing a gift. hope you like it!

word count: 3.3k

content warning: slightly nsfw at the end, a whole lot of angst, bullying (?)

Let me know if i missed any tags. Thanks as always to Moni @karamfilmare for being my beta.

Why won’t the ringing stop?

You were sure her name had been given as she was introduced to you, but the words did not register over the incessant peal which started as soon as you saw her with Yuuji across the room. You didn’t need her name though. Yuko Ozawa, the daughter of an old friend of Mr. Nanami’s from Oxford College. She and her father were staying with the Nanamis while her father attended to business in London, though this was the first time you had seen her out in public. From what you understood, her family lived in genteel poverty somewhere in the countryside, not enough money to spend the social season in London.

Your cousin’s hand on your arm was the only thing keeping your knees from buckling as you stared at Yuuji and Yuko. The look was plain on his face as he watched her. His lazy smile, the soft crinkle at the corners of his eyes, the way his gaze sparkled and wouldn’t be ripped from hers even if a fire broke out in the Gojo’s grand ballroom.

You must have been taking too long to respond to her introduction, not able to even curtsy without the fear of falling on your face. Ichika stepped in, curtsying deeply enough to support you as well as you did your best attempt to maintain some sense of decorum.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Ozawa.” Ichika smiled brightly from the corner of your eye. The grip of her hand tightened slightly, a silent prompt.

“A pleasure.” You parroted emotionlessly.

“The pleasure is mine. Mr. Itadori speaks highly of your family.” Yuko’s smile was kind. It didn’t make you hate her any less.

“I’m sure more than we deserve, he is complementary to a fault.” Ichika gave Yuuji a teasing look.

“You surely jest, Lady Okkotsu. I only give credit where credit is due.” His eyes went to your cousin only for a moment to smirk before he focused his attention back to Yuko.

The ring in your ears dulled slightly, enough for you to finally take in the woman before you instead of only looking at Yuuji. Her hair was simple, curled at the sides similarly to yours and tied in a low bun at the nape of her neck, though she had no adornments in her hair nor at her neck or ears. Her dress was of a quality far beyond what her family could afford, and you recognized it immediately.

“What a lovely dress.” You commented, right in the middle of whatever Yuko was saying to your cousin. The other three members of your small circle turned to you, a range of confused expressions on their faces at your interruption.

Yuko recovered exceptionally well, smiling politely as she looked at the skirt. “Thank you. I didn’t have anything suitable for tonight since it was such short notice. Mrs. Nanami leant me one of her dresses.”

You knew this already. The style was slightly older, but not enough to be outdated. The dress itself was hard to forget, however. Monica Nanami had worn the dress during another party at the Gojo residence in London many years ago. The white muslin gown gathered just below the bust, the light, flowy skirts skimming the floor. The overskirt was intricately embroidered at the edges in gold and multi-colored thread which matched the embroidery along the vee neckline and edges of the bodice. The women at the party had fawned over the wearable piece of art the whole night, and Monica had given every opportunity to praise her husband and his taste. Mr. Nanami’s ears had turned permanently red from all the attention, both from the women at the party and from husbands who gave him a good-natured ribbing for making the rest of them look subpar. It had been a fun, intimate night. You had wondered if one day, Yuuji would do the same for you when you married. If you would married.

That dream was disappearing faster with every second Yuuji looked at Yuko with all the adoration in the world.

“How fortunate then, your stay with the Nanami family.” You took a small drink from your lemonade glass, watching her over the rim.

Her smile became confused but she hid it as best she could. “Yes, I suppose so.”

She looked at Yuuji. He gave her a reassuring smile and looked at you, his brow slightly furrowed, a question in his eyes. You were behaving erratically, you knew this. But you just didn’t care anymore. It was clear your goal, why you had agreed to this flirtatious farce with Megumi Fushiguro, why you sacrificed your own beliefs for the mere chance Yuuji Itadori might notice you, was for naught.

You were never even a consideration to him. Now, your pain would be everyone else’s.

“They take great pride in their charity work.” You continued. “Though your father must have known that, reaching out to such an old friend for help.”

“(Y/N).” Ichika murmured your name as a warning. But you wouldn’t stop. You wouldn’t allow yourself to cry, and your anger needed a release. A barbed tongue was your only option.

“Mr. Nanami wouldn’t dare refuse. And how fortunate that he brought his young, unattached daughter with him knowing Nanami’s son would be in town for the season.” You pushed onward, even as Yuko’s face crumbled. “You must have known Mr. Itadori is the heir of his own fortune.” You made a point of looking between Yuuji and Yuko, then up and down at her dress. “Why else would you base yourself enough to wear another woman’s gown, if not to capitalize on the opportunity of a ball to sink your hooks into someone so far above your station?”

The unmasked pain you had caused in Yuko’s eyes should have made you feel something. But it didn’t. You wanted her to hurt. She was living what you had always wanted. What years of pining and waiting had never dimmed. Yet she came into town, and within weeks Yuuji was at her beckon call. You hated it. You hated yourself. Why had you never realized your feelings would never be reciprocated? Why now was it necessary for this innocent girl to suffer? This pain could not be leashed.

“That’s enough, Miss (l/n).” Yuuji hissed. His eyes flashed with an anger you had never seen before as he glared at you. But you found it was not as devastating as it would have been five minutes ago. Let him feel the pain you felt as well, seeing his love hurt. He should have been aware of your desire. You didn’t try to hide it. Yet it was never even addressed. You didn’t mean enough for even an acknowledgment.

Yuko forced a stiff smile and curtsied, murmuring an apology before she practically sprinted away. Yuuji didn’t give you a second look as he chased after her, which made the chasm in your chest widen further.

“What is wrong with you, (y/n)?” Ichika demanded once they were both gone. Her eyes were hard as well, though her expression could have been interpreted as genuine concern. “You’re not cruel, what was that about? You don’t even know Miss Ozawa.”

Her grip was still on your arm. It was too tight. The room was too hot. Your heart in your chest was pounding too hard. And the tears you had been fighting back since Yuuji and Yuko approached you seemed to be coming one way or another.

You wrenched yourself free from her grasp and ran out of the room. The entire house felt too cramped, though it was one of the largest in the city. You found the patio doors and pushed your way outside running into the garden to find a secluded spot.

The fresh air should have improved your breathing, but as you finally found a secluded alcove your gasping only grew worse. You had never felt this kind of pain before. You were young when your mother died. You hardly remembered her face, let alone her voice. The grief you may have felt as a child had been forgotten with time as time blunted whatever pain you experienced. If it was anything like the hurt that currently clawed through your chest, you were glad you didn’t remember.

As a slight breeze blew through the garden, you realized that at some point in your solitude, you had begun to cry. You wipes furiously at your cheeks to rid them of the wet tracks on your skin, but more took their place. Your gasps had turned to sobs, so forceful you bent over and braced your arms on the stone bench in front of you. Your tears stained the cool limestone beneath your hands as you failed to stop the emotions pouring out of you. You were not like this, you weren’t emotional. You thought you were in control of yourself, but events from earlier and your current outburst proved otherwise.

Had you been wrong all along? Had you confused Yuuji’s kindness as possible interest on your part? You had thought with time, maybe he would see you as more than his friend’s cousin and would pursue you as the other men in the ton had. You had ignored them all for him, and when he did not show his affection you became desperate enough to enter this farce with Megumi Fushiguro. But was it a farce? Megumi, though distant, had shown he cared in his own way throughout your arrangement. Was he interested in truly courting you? And why was it that a small part of you wished he was? You clutched your head in your hands. No. You couldn’t think of this now. That couldn’t be a possibility. Megumi made it clear your arrangement was purely for gain. And you loved Yuuji, you would have him.

“Y/N.”

You looked to the entrance of your little alcove. Megumi stood there, his face obscured by the darkness. The sight of him made you tears begin anew. He was only a reminder of what you had done and how it was all seemingly for naught. You wiped furiously at your cheeks to rid them of the wet tracks on your skin but they were replaced with new ones. You would not allow Megumi to see you cry.

“Not now, please not now.” You sobbed. “Leave me be.”

“What happened?” He stepped further into the small garden. “Are you well?”

“No!” You shouted. “I’m obviously not well! Now why don’t you go back inside and leave me to crumble in solitude instead of reveling in it?”

His face was infuriatingly passive as always, and you could see every inch of it now in the moonlight. Something about it set a change in you, and your sorrow morphed into anger.

“So, are you satisfied?” You straightened to face him, your chin held high. “You were right. My plan didn’t work. Yuuji is now seemingly completely and utterly enamored with Miss Ozawa. He does not desire my company. And now, all my work is for naught and my reputation will be ruined.”

“I do not enjoy seeing you in pain, Miss (l/n).” Megumi’s face still did not change. He could at least pretend to care, but he did not. He never did.

“Oh, I am sure you do not!” You laughed mirthlessly. “You have only been telling me this whole time to set my hopes aside because Yuuji did not want me, that this plan was ridiculous, that it would never work. Well, you were right. Enjoy your victory and leave me in peace!”

“What victory?” He stepped closer so he was only feet away. He was angry now, you could see it in the way his brow was drawn and the hard set of his jaw. His green eyes sparked dangerously as speared you with his gaze. “Do you think I revel in this?”

“Yes! You were right, I was wrong. And I hate it!” The words were bubbling inside you, just as they had in the ballroom, and you couldn’t stop them even though you weren’t entirely sure you meant them, but you were hurting and you wanted someone else to hurt too. “I hate you!”

“Do you?” He moved closer, crowding your space even as you stepped back until you were almost chest to chest. If you breathed too deeply, your bosom would brush against the lapels of his jacket. Your breath quickened to prevent any part of you touching him. The look in his eyes was dangerous, challenging as a cruel smile spread across his face. You were grateful for it. You didn’t want his pity. You wanted a release to this anger, and you knew he could provide it. “Please, Miss (l/n), enlighten me. Why do you hate me?”

“I hate how you never smile. I hate how you act like you’re above any social interaction and avoid everyone at all costs. I hate how you pretend you dislike something I know you truly enjoy so as not to give someone the satisfaction that they know something about you. I hate how you look someone up and down and you give them that indolent smile like you know something oh so devious and they’ll never know it, because who could ever be as clever or even compare to the great Megumi Fushiguro?” You spat.

“Is that so?” Your chests were touching now after he stepped forward, but you would not back down. He had tried to hold the upper hand this whole arrangement, but no longer. There was nothing left for you to lose. You had already lost Yuuji, though did you ever really have him in the first place? The thought caused the gaping hole in your chest to widen, the pain renewed. You could not hold onto this. It needed an outlet, and it stood before you.

“It is!” You yelled in his face though he did not flinch.

“Good.” Before you could blink, his large hands were cupping your face, his fingers lacing through your hair. You barely registered the intimacy of his touch because a breath later, he surged forward and planted a kiss harshly on your lips.

You started at his touch and his brazen action. Even if you were to attempt to retreat his arm has already encircled you, keeping you held to him as his lips commanded your own. But you didn’t want to pull back

It was the events of the night, you were sure of it. There was no other reason why your arms had found their way around his neck encouraging him. You were hurting, his touch filled the gaping hole in your chest just a little more. To know someone wanted your affection, or at least your touch. You were desirable. Why didn’t Yuuji see that?

You’re lying. A small voice inside you crowed as Megumi slanted his mouth over yours, deeping your kiss after the placement of your arms around him showed you weren’t resisting his advances. This wasn’t just because you were hurting, that you needed another’s touch. You had found yourself wondering over the past several weeks as you spent more and more time with the dark-haired man who was now running his tongue along your bottom lip, what it would feel like to touch him, to kiss him. To have this arrangement between you be truthful, rather than a ruse to spur your true target into action. What would it be like for Megumi to hold your hand and smile, to send you flowers sincerely instead of keeping up appearances? Was there even a possibility that he felt that way? As his tongue explored your mouth and you reciprocated in kind, albeit clumsily, maybe it could be true.

This feeling was different. There was a coiling deep in your belly, growing tighter as Megumi’s large hand covered one of your breasts and gently squeezed, finding your nipple through the layers of fabric and teasing until it was a hard nub. You gasped against his mouth at the jolt of pleasure that shot to your core and arched into his touch. This was wrong. You were with a man unchaperoned in the dimly-lit gardens. He was touching you inappropriately, and yet you wanted more. This was an extraordinary sensation, one you never would have thought would come at the hands of Megumi. Why was he expressing such outright desire when you were certain he tolerated you at best?

When Megumi’s hand left your breast you almost whimpered at the loss. It traveled lower down your body, tracing your silhouette over your dress, squeezing any soft place it landed until it was finally behind your knee. You wondered what he was planning, why would his hands stray so far down? It was then he hoisted your leg up so it was around his waist and you were balancing on your other foot. You gasped at your sudden unsteadiness and clung to him more tightly to prevent from falling. Megumi had no time to spare. He attacked your mouth again, commanding your lips for only a brief moment before he broke away again and started kissing down your neck. A whine escaped from you while he sucked on your pulse point then licked up the column of your throat, tasting the salt on your skin.

“Megumi.” You almost didn’t recognize your own voice as you moaned his name. His head snapped up at the explicit sound, green eyes flashing with a fire that matched the one growing in your stomach. The prospect of what burns that fire could cause almost scared you. Almost.

A loud crash caused you both to look over to the entrance of your small hideaway, still clinging to each other like monkeys. You couldn’t bear to let go yet. One of the small statues flanking the arched hedge entrance had fallen, its head broken off as it hit the ground. It was the force which caused the statue to fall in the first place that made you and Megumi both start in horror.

Yuuji stood at the entrance, his hand outstretched like he had tried to stop it from falling but had been too late. His eyes, however, were fixed on the pair of you and your sordid embrace. You wished you could discern the expression on his face. Shock, obviously. But there was something else behind his eyes. You didn't have a further opportunity for study as he had turned and was running back the way he came before you had finished your breath.

“Yuuji!” Megumi had released you and started running after him, pausing just for a moment to raise his hand in a ‘wait’ sign to you, and he was gone as well.

You didn’t allow yourself to wait. You couldn’t. Realization was setting coldly into your bones now at what you had done and what the repercussions would be if anyone were to find out. You were ruined. What would become of you now? Your uncle and aunt had graciously taken you in and treated you like one of their own to give you the opportunity of a life you never would have never been offered, had you lived with your father. And now, you had taken their generosity and spat on it. Their investment in you was now for naught.

Your hands shook as you smoothed your hair just enough to be presentable before you ran out of the gardens, around the house and to the carriages waiting out front. People would speak of your absence. It was certain their tongues were already wagging at your outburst against Yuko in the ballroom, but it didn’t matter. All you cared about was getting back home and hiding, Maybe then, you would wake up and find this was all a cruel dream.

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liyazaki · 2 years

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Kinn carries himself with the relaxed ease of an heir born to inherit a throne, and the singular, brutal focus required to keep it. The first time we see him, he casually shoots a man point-blank without a sideways glance (literally)- not out of necessity, but as an almost-aside power play.

Time & time again, we've watched him seamlessly transition from compassionate and thoughtful to icy calculation in the blink of an eye. He lives life on a razor’s edge and makes it all look easy…effortless, even.

These qualities alone would make for a fascinating character, but the pièce de résistance: the more time we spend with Kinn, the more his complexity grows.

The glowing, beaming Kinn in the forest scenes of episode six was so far removed from the man we had seen so far, he could almost pass for another person entirely. It would require an enormous amount of mental and emotional effort for most people to slip in and out of starkly-different personas like they’re a second skin, but Kinn does it on the regular.

Note: there are plenty of brilliant meta posts out there analyzing the decisions Kinn makes, the way he leads, etc., so I won’t be delving into that here. When I’m trying to understand why a character acts the way they do or anticipate what they might do next, I always go back to back to the beginning- both in the literal sense (their past), but also to the fundamental building blocks of who they are. I won’t be going into any theories here, either (Jesus, Mor; WTF are you even writing, then?).

My goal here is to establish a baseline of what makes Kinn, Kinn, because everything else- his choices, his mistakes, his strengths and weaknesses- all flow from it. I'm also fascinated by why Porsche appeals to Kinn in this fundamental, elemental sort of way, which ties back big-time to that character baseline.

You are waiting inside your father’s shadow. -Wale Ayinla, Portrait of a Boy with Grief

Always deferential to his father, Kinn takes his duty as the obedient heir apparent very seriously. This undoubtedly comes just as much from the drive to fulfill his obligations to his family- and keep them safe by extension- as it does from a baser, fundamental need for love and approval. In Kinn’s world, both are irrevocably tied up in the harsh realities of being a part of Bangkok’s strongest mafia family.

All three Theerapanyakul brothers were born into a bloody, no-win game. There is no opt-out option, no alternative to this life they're in. There is no room for flawed, human sons with needs and desires and concerns and hurts- well, not the heir, anyway. Work-life separation can’t exist here, and forget any expectation of autonomy: in this world, choosing any other kind of life is tantamount to betrayal.

In almost every conversation Kinn and Korn have, the focus remains the same: the family- the mafia family- always comes first. When conversations take the rare turn toward the personal, Korn always redirects the focus back to the business, painting a picture of a father-son relationship based not on unconditional love and acceptance, but on performance, strategy and success.

Caring equals vulnerability. Never show either. -Malorie Blackman, Knife Edge

Constantly playing chess both literally and figuratively, Korn is such an intelligent strategist, I’m sure he’s only too aware of the softer, sensitive Kinn underneath the persona- a fact that he’ll undoubtedly use to his advantage at some point. Korn knows how his son ticks, and I can see him trying to use that knowledge to keep Kinn exactly where he wants him: firmly under his thumb.

Case in point: Korn pressing a finger into the metaphorical wound in reminding Kinn of how things turned out the last time he fell in love.

Like the saying goes, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.” No scene gives us as much insight into Korn than the conversation he and Kinn have at the dining room table.

Kinn is so fresh out of the hospital that he’s still hooked up to a machine monitoring his vitals. Korn briefly acknowledges his injuries before getting to the task at hand: giving Kinn a history lesson in how his love for Kinn’s mother distracted him from his goals, and by inference, from what’s really important.

She wants you to be a god. -Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

At the end of his speech, Korn hands Kinn a piece of an apple, telling him to come back to his family- that they’re waiting for him. Kinn hesitates before casting his gaze downwards, then taking and eating the apple with silent resignation.

There are so many symbolic interpretations here, but the heart of it is that this is far from a sentimental, fatherly request: Korn is asking Kinn to rise above the “distractions” he couldn’t, above the joys essential to the human experience.

To elevate himself beyond common humanity and essentially 'become a god' (meant in the literal sense in the quote's source material, but too good of a quote not to use here). Be everything his brothers could not, or would not. Take on the mantle. Earn the love.

Kinn is motivated by familial duty beyond his father, too. Tankhun's kidnapping likely created little ripples of trauma in the family that went well beyond him- and there’s no way it was dealt with in a healthy way- or more likely, dealt with or acknowledged at all.

At some point, Kinn- the middle child- stepped up and took on the burden of leadership that was meant for Tankhun. While we don't have the full story yet (if we ever will), he probably did it with zero complaints. The only moment when we get a hint at how much the his role weighs on him- and the fairness of him having to bear it- is in his (micro) confession in the woods with Porsche.

Left to his own devices in the shadow of Korn's expectations, Kinn would never able to fully step into whoever he could be (or may have been)- all in this insidiously-intelligent way that masquerades as freedom. The epitome of the gilded cage. Is it any wonder Korn seems to consider love & human connection the ultimate threat?

You wanted to be in love again. To feel that feeling where a man you hardly know gazes into your eyes & seems to be the only human being who ever understood the real you. -Nancy Horan, Loving Frank Kiss me & you’ll see how important I am. -Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

Before Porsche enters the picture, Kinn is getting by on whatever scraps of pseudo-affection he can get (read: booty calls kept at a careful emotional distance) while pouring himself into his responsibilities to escape the pain of the past. In public, he's all princely grace, ease and power personified. In private, he's hurting but he's an island, and it shows.

From an outside perspective, Porsche is the polar opposite of Kinn and the life he leads. When Kinn looks at Porsche, though? Like a mirror*, I think he sees the truest version of himself reflected back: bright, filled with joy and laughter and life. The man he would've liked to have been always, not just in small moments hidden away from judgmental eyes, and a life that doesn’t allow for anything less than absolute strength and perfection.

*I've mentioned many times how Porsche is like mirror in that he reflects back whatever he's given (or not given). I think the analogy applies to Kinn's experience beautifully, just in a completely different way.

The first time we see Kinn smile- and I mean, really smile- was with Porsche on the dance floor. He felt comfortable enough in Porsche’s presence to drop the facade and allow himself to get carried away in pure, simple joy. When Kinn leaned in to kiss Porsche on the dock, he moved toward him like he was a magnet- a flower stretching toward the sun. And who wouldn't after meeting someone who personified everything you wanted to be while simultaneously being so incredibly easy to love?

It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things. -Alain de Botton

Despite every logical reason why he shouldn’t have gotten involved with Porsche, of all people- who drove him borderline insane in the beginning, to boot- shadows can only resist the sunlight for so long, or all the life and new possibilities its warmth brings with it.

I think this is the unique appeal of Porsche to Kinn: when he sees Porsche smile that megawatt grin or throw his head back with full-body, unrestrained laughter, he doesn’t just see the best parts of himself. A hope for more- for just one more taste of this delicious, new sort of life- starts to grow there, too.

I see you, beneath the surface. I see your untamable wild. I see you… You are seen. You are seen. You are seen. And my god- you are beautiful. -Jeanette LeBlanc

We all crave the feeling of being truly seen, romantically or otherwise- to have someone intrinsically know us, who easily sees through our all niceties and public-facing facades to the soul underneath. Porsche does this for Kinn just by virtue of being himself. And for a man who’s had to be everything but himself his whole life? That’s everything.

In a world where dropping your guard could mean death, just being in Porsche’s presence must feel a little like freedom to Kinn. Porsche is likely one of the realest, most straightforward people Kinn’s ever encountered: he can’t be bought, he doesn’t need or want anything from Kinn, and he’s violently (affectionate) himself at all times. That kind of unapologetic authenticity would be pretty attractive to most of us, let alone to a man with a past and upbringing like Kinn’s.

The Kinn we meet in episode 1 seemed to be carrying the world on his shoulders- like he's already lived several lives, all of them filled with constant danger and betrayal. Porsche having a tattoo of the symbolic representation of resurrection- of life after death- couldn’t illustrate just how much he means to Kinn more beautifully.

When we hold each other in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better… For just a moment or two, the darkness doesn't seem so bad. -Neil Gaiman

Kinn in love is practically lit from within, radiating childlike joy. The more Kinn and Porsche find meaning and connection with each other, the more we see the truest, most fundamental version of Kinn emerge- and it’s a beautiful thing.

There’s nothing performative in the least between them; no metric of perfection Kinn needs to meet first to earn and keep Porsche’s affection. The tender, kind, softer side of Kinn isn’t just seen by Porsche, but celebrated.

There's some sad poetry here, too- in Kinn experiencing carefree happiness like this possibly for the first time (or for the first time in a long time), if only his world were different.

While the grim realities of Kinn’s world probably never completely disappear when he’s with Porsche, his love makes the darkness more bearable- worth the struggle, even. The world lifts off his shoulders for a minute, and for the first time in probably a good long while, he’s Kinn- just Kinn.

I know you’ll speak no truth at this time. I’m to be guided solely by your silence, your eyes & the inaudible appeals of your heart. -Suman Pokhrel

Kinn has been brutally betrayed in the past: his struggle (Porsche’s, too) will be in letting himself go and allowing himself to trust. That sounds pedestrian enough- who doesn’t struggle in some way or another in letting other people in?- but this is going to require a monumental amount of vulnerability for a man in Kinn’s position.

It’s the equivalent of a lion going against his every instinct to willingly expose his throat, only to then show you exactly where to make the killing cut. He’s had a lifetime’s worth of lessons taught to him by his father, his environment and his own lived experience, all working against this fragile, beautiful new connection he’s found.

With everything Kinn stands to lose- and the losses and heartbreak he’s survived to get here- the fact that he can love and hope at all is a testament to his incredible inner strength.

It also makes his every surrender to Porsche’s love- big and small- that much more meaningful.

(I'm sure I could've wrapped this up more poignantly somehow, but I'm 8+ cumulative hours in at this point & now the flu** is trying to kill me, so. hope you got something out what feels like a giant nothing burger to me at this point 🙃)

**edit: that flu? she was COVID. I feel like one of those fan fic writers that apologizes in the notes for being late on posting the chapter because they gave birth or something, except I, uh- finished this while hacking up a lung? ignore me; I have a fever)

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche meta #kinn theerapanyakul #kinnporsche edit #& now i collapse 👋#mile phakphum #apo nattawin #tonanons #userspicy #userjap #usernuria #uservik #userjaehwany #tosnimeat #kinnporschesource #thai bl #bl drama #kinnporsche*

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