#put it on the atomic freezer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biggerviewbiggeryou · 9 months

Text

I AM

""Man is never in a position of I will be'' -Neville Goddard you simply are...

I have told myself every sentence begins with ''I am'' even to say "'I am not'' the ''NOT'' has to be added .. You always are meaning once you have said it once, visualized it has already occured.

There has been multiple ways this has clicked to be for instance with ''Edward Art '' ''I AM the problem and I AM the solution'' all stories are being told by you , you are always telling yourself something regardless..

When you understand this you realize there is nothing being held from you , because you as the creator have access to all unlimited possibilities..

Today I was listening to Edward Art's excerpt called ''Rearranged thought'' and he mentions on how for one to even exist, self one self must acknowledge it , to not be afraid of your own mind ..I remember reading something along the lines of ''how can the creator be afraid of his own creation?'' Edward also mentions this ''How can the painter be afraid of his own paintings?''

Reality is constantly shifting, no moment is ever the same as the previous one, ''You shift realities everytime you blink''-Dr.Joe Dispenza, everything ,including ourselves is composed by atoms formed in unified structures commanded by our awareness, everything already exists.. ''To wish is to have''-NG, when you think about it (whatever it is that you want) person,place or thing you arent really ''desiring''.. going back to the original sentence "Everything exists, and realities being shifted everytime you blink'' only implies that you have shifted to that reality! Everything has always been yours, there is nothing to do, nothing to change, nothing to acquire .

Visualizations, affirmations etc are only implying what it is that you already have ...visualizations are only memories from what has already occured..

Now you may think ''Where is it'' and I want to share an analogy... let's say you get hungry and think to yourself ''I really want some of that salmon I bought earlier'' and you are in your room would you think to yourself "Why isn't the salmon her in front of me in my room? YOU DONT NEED IT TO BE , you already have it and it is in the freezer. ''You are in barbados and went first class'', if you finished the race would you start running backwards? No it is DONE ''Creation is finished''

You are always telling a story regardless, there is no opting out of repeating something regardless refering back to the 'techniques'' these aren't needed to shift/manifest but they doo emphasize the already existing reality thus internally already become so.

The mind does not argue it does not determine anything YOU command it, it accepts everything as a fact THIS IS GREAT! It can't tell time eithier, everything occurs in the now.

EDIT:The more energy you put into an outcome/reality the faster it shows up because it has alot of energy behind it

#edward art #affirmations #affirm and persist #law of assumption #dr joe dispenza #psychology #shifting #quantum jumping #awareness

7 notes · View notes

blackboujeebeauty · 1 year

Text

9 Self-Care Products To Incorporate Into Your Self-Care Sunday

1.Keenray Luxury Towel Warmer- Treat yourself to the feeling of an at home spa treatment by investing in this towel warmer that can also be utilized for blankets, throw blankets, socks and clothing.

2.Kora Organics Tumeric Brightening & Exfoliating Mask- This facemask from Kora Organics will serve as a great addition to your skincare routine because it addresses most skincare concerns such as cleaning and detoxing the pores, brightens dark spots, enhances skin radiance and glow and leaves you with a fresh feeling face that will not leave the skin feeling stripped or dried out.

3.The New Ordinary AHA 30% BHA 2% Peeling Solution- For less than $10 you can experience an at home peeling solution that will aide in ridding dark spots, hyperpigmentation and texture.

4.Bursera Palo Santo Sticks- Not only are these palo Santo sticks a necessity for cleansing energy in your space but they are also natural & sustainable so you can ensure that you are not inhaling any potentially dangerous chemicals or fumes when burning these Palo Santo Sticks.

5.Jade Roller & Gua Sha, Face Roller- This skincare tool is great for de-puffing the face and neck, reducing under eye bags and dark circles and so much more! I recommend putting this in your freezer for just 10 minutes than applying your favorite serum with this tool during your skincare routine for noticeable difference.

6.Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Stress Relief, 3 Wick Candle- We love a great candle! this Aromatherapy, Stress Relief candle from Bath & Body Works has lasting power and smell that will linger throughout your room and home for hours.

7.Bath & Body Works Stress Relief Perfume Spray- This Stress Relief Spray goes in conjunction with the listed item above that makes a powerful duo! Great for spraying on your pillow & bed sheets.

8.Positive Affirmations For Black Women- we can always use words of positive affirmations, this book by author Sheila Brown delivers amazing messages and mantras that will be most effective for repeating daily to impress the subconscious mind and also makes as a great gift!

9.Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way To Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones- If you have yet to read Atomic Habits, sis what are you doing? This book from author James Clear is a great read while taking a nice bath, before bed or during down time. Atomic Habits will help to understand the effective and ineffective habits that we have and how to steer away from what is not serving our greater good.

If you enjoyed these products you can find more alike on the ✨BlackBoujeeBeauty Storefront✨

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you purchase through a link✨

Until next time Beautiful!

12 notes · View notes

thestickynoteninja92 · 1 year

Text

I don’t ever post, but at this point I just need to vent or I’m gonna have a break down. Sorry to anyone who knows me.

I’m so fucking tired. Like, deep within my bones, my soul, my atoms, I’m exhausted.

I don’t know what to do at this point. My apartment is unlivable. My medical bills are almost as much as I make in a year. My health is declining and I can’t afford to do anything about it. It feels like things just keep getting worse and there isn’t anything to help.

I’m so so so tired of trying to function like I’m not constantly fighting autistic burnout or meltdown. It takes all my energy just to mask enough that I can survive.

I just want a safe place to live and start a family. Somewhere my rescue turtles can be safe from the thousands of cockroaches that have made my apartment absolute hell.

There are so many of them that I had to put a camping tent over my bed just to sleep. The kitchen is unusable because there are thousands of them. We can’t eat. The complex won’t do anything about it. Our sink was broken for 4 months before they fixed it. I can hear the roaches crawling around at night on the walls. I’ve tried every treatment my lease will allow me to do and they just get worse and worse. Nothing is sealed.

I’ve literally been working more than half of my life now and I still can’t afford groceries. I don’t understand how people are meant to survive if they aren’t born into money.

It’s not like I buy anything other than essentials ever, nor do I want anything extravagant. All my dreams and goals really don’t amount to much. I just want a safe place to exist with a few minor comforts. Like a working freezer. Or to be able to stand still without bugs crawling all over me.

What the actual fuck am I supposed to do?

#vent #housing crisis #infestation #autistic #desperate #need help #exhausted #rant

3 notes · View notes

beardedmrbean · 2 years

Note

I hate physics majors with a passion

I was reading a story about a character who I realized could technically create matter out of thin air. I wondered what other laws of physics he could break using that, like idk creating matter in a freezer and taking it out for free energy or some shit, so I went and asked about it on the physics discord server.

Out of 8 people who responded, 7 went "none because you can't create matter out of thin air", and the last one berated me for trying to be rigorous when I asked the question, bc I summarized it as "Which impossible events are implied by other impossible events ?" and said it was the most natural way of thinking about the question, and the guy went on a whole rant about how "there's nothing natural about doing things that are by definition impossible", seriously fuck that guy in particular.

I literally had to join the math server and ask the mathematicians about it to get a real answer.

On a physics question.

Because physics majors were too busy being smug assholes to answer.

"I wondered what other laws of physics he could break using that"

Most if not all of them, might run into issues with getting to the speed of light, but the rest not so much.

Physics majors you talked to have zero imagination too, character making thing 'out of thin air' air is still matter maybe the skill just allows them to rearrange the atomic structure of thing so that the nitrogen in the air gains or loses protons, neutrons, and electrons by combining them or splitting them (non explosive style) into other objects.

Similar concept to the food replicators on Star Trek, just something the person with the power could do themselves.

Which in the end would actually mean they weren't breaking the laws of physics after all.

Unless it's magic and then we're back to them being able to break most of the laws of physics I think.

But the other way you have an option to use if you want the physics majors or the general 'no fun allowed' crowd to shut up and leave you alone. ______________

Sorry I probably put way more thought into that than you wanted, I just really like physics and problem solving. Shit at math so I'd never make it far academically still like studying what I can.

#anonymous

7 notes · View notes

lucindarobinsonvevo · 3 months

Text

if i was writing episode 9000:

Elle: Well, I have good news and bad news. Good news is, you didn't kill him by hitting him with the car, Andrew. Bad news is it wasn't Leo, either so I may have just burned that bridge for no good reason.

Andrew: so Leo didn't shoot him?

Elle: Leo did shoot him in the neck with a crossbow, but that actually saved his life because he was choking to death on the poisoned martini from Aaron he got to wash down the horse tranquilisers Amy put in the food she got him from the snack bar after Lucy pushed him down that flight of stairs when she got in between him and Mum after she slapped him for turning Harlow against her.

Andrew: Then who did kill him?

Elle: if I had to guess? David.

Andrew: The dead guy?

Elle: Dad didn't die from the fall, the poison, or the shot to the neck. He died from internal bleeding from when Uncle Scott accidentally opened the car door onto him at the church when he was walking me down the aisle. Someone replaced his heart medication with blood thinners months ago, and after prolonged use, with his condition, he was basically a ticking time bomb.

Andrew: What does that have to do with David?

Elle: I spoke to Dr Kennedy at the party. He says that he did prescribe Dad the pills, but it was Dr Varga-Murphy who dispensed them. She gave them to David, who gave them to Leo, who gave them to Dad.

Andrew: Leo or the doctor could have also messed with the pills?

Elle: Nice guess, but when I dusted the pill bottle from Dad's ensuite the only fingerprints inside the bottle, like someone was trying to hold it still to put pills in without gloves, matched up to David. The good doctor evidently wore gloves, and Leo's fingerprints were only on the tube itself, not the inside.

Andrew: So Chelsea the Golddigger, who everyone has been blaming, is basically the only person who DIDN'T almost kill Dad tonight.

Elle: What can I say. She's not a very good gold digger.

Andrew: I can't believe this. David. of all people.

Elle: If it helps, I don't think he was TRYING to kill Dad. I think he was just trying to make him seem to Leo like he wasn't safe to have around Abi. The date on the pill bottle says they were dispensed two days after Dad first started kicking up a stink about him and Nepo Baby Krista dating. '

Andrew: Um, hey just before we go in there and drop this atomic bomb of a cluedo guess you've got going on, um, I should let you know it was me who spilt the red stuff on Donna's original bridesmaid dress. I was eating the popsicle from your freezer you were saving. Just thought I'd let you know before you like, rip my whole life apart in front of me.

#neighbourspost #mitziwrites

0 notes

terpmcclure87 · 2 years

Text

The reality is underdeveloped a greater environmental sense of right and wrong every Clarence Day and a ontogenesis issue of mass are economy money by expiration Green. To bring out about of the many slipway in which you terminate employ cat valium DOE in your family and salve yourself money while benefiting the surroundings today, show on!

Fairly filters or supersede them to insure your furnace is appropriating at blossom efficiency. Installing the filters in warm-breeze registers is besides a corking musical theme. Debris (and pocket-size toys) volition non hit the heating plant ducts to congest the chief filter out. Render heating system your base with a Wood pellet stove. The pellets burnt in a shot kitchen stove are made of extremely covenant sawdust. They burn up so cleanly than they are non needful to find an Environmental Protection Agency authentication for emissions. Be aware, however, that the toll of the pellets Crataegus oxycantha be eminent in or so areas. Find retired nearly diverse energy sources that are available in your area. Tally to consider how very much it would monetary value to bunk your home base with these former utilities, and retrieve to select into history the regime bonuses that are sometimes useable. It power be dependable to flip-flop to cancel petrol or well water, as an instance. Change state your calculator dispatch when you are not victimisation it. science lessons india includes anything attached to the computer, such as the printing machine. When these are on, even out if in hole up mode, they are lottery electrical energy. When you are through browse or working, rick dispatch the computing device and release turned the peel plug to hold open electrical Energy. A very tardily and trashy path to save up on your high pressure zip bills is to assay installment close to low stream shower down heads and faucets. Shift from the standard, 2.5 gallon/min exhibitioner heads, to the Low flowing 1.5 gallon/atomic ones, tail end aid you relieve a bunch with your live water vim costs. Attempt waterproofing gaps underneath your doors and Windows during the summertime and wintertime. This ass foreclose the quick or chill send from outdoors from entry your home, which testament aid continue your home base at a ripe temperature entirely class. You could too try out putting in rugs to cater Sir Thomas More insularity to your floorboards. Assume reward of the Lord's Day by installing solar panels on your roof. These panels wish harvesting the push from the Sunday and change over it into useable king for your house. Most vigour companies bequeath buy whatever surplusage major power that is created. You bequeath light upon at the least, a simplification in your business leader beak apiece month. In one case you gain the flip-flop to immature energies, permit everyone fuck. A circumstances of hoi polloi are non flush considering this selection because they are not educated decent approximately honey oil energies: you give a hazard to take a crap a departure by using your own organization to attest how party energies play and win over more populate to build the modification. Name function of the rude sunshine for majuscule greenish vigour savings. Put in solar tubes in your base which occupy the luminousness from out of doors and make for it in spite of appearance so you do not indigence to use lamps and other light sources as much. These are relatively cheap and are enceinte for increasing the time value of your rest home. During ice chest days, plough dispatch that transmit conditioning to be greener and keep on vigor. Many homeowners rent their bare conditioning persist non-intercept no affair the outdoor temperature. This canful expend up a set of vim and toll you hundreds of Thomas More dollars p.a.. Hatchway the Windows and rental a cross-zephyr in is a firm and leisurely mode to be greens and arrest or so sweet airwave! Do non forget your deep freezer and icebox clear for a foresighted point of time. Of course this rear vitiate your food, just it buns too utilise big amounts of energy. When you are cookery only you call for nutrient from the refrigerator or freezer, observe it closed later you catch something come out of it. As you ingest read, converting to Green get-up-and-go with the applied science in your family fanny be achieved with a picayune piece of figure out and research. Hopefully, you own received a mini-educational activity with this clause and are today ready to venture on creating a More environmentally friendly and price effective home plate with the habituate of Green vigour today.

#science lessons india

1 note · View note

atomic-freezer · 3 months

Text

You ever think about how if you free Benny at the legion camp, He just vanishes from the game entirely?

You ever think about how there's a mod that adds him back?

#This is also inspired by a joke a friend made about “Nick Valentine judges you undertale style” which then promptly spiralled into this #put it on the atomic freezer #art #Fallout #fallout new vegas #God I hope tumblr doesn't ruin the quality #comic #Nick Valentine #Benny Gecko #valentine

99 notes · View notes

suzloo · 3 years

Note

Who are opm characters that you think would or wouldn't want pup(s)?

Which OPM Characters Would And Wouldn't Want Pups:

Would:

King: He wouldn't mind having pups of his own one day and living a normal life raising them and teaching them how to play video games.

Flashy Flash: He wants to have a pup to raise them and give them the life that he wasn't allowed to have but would most likely end up adopting a pup instead of conceiving one.

Genos: He wants to rebuild the family that he lost but since we don't know how much of him is actually organic, he'd most likely end up adopting a pup unless Dr Kuseno saved his sperm in a freezer for when he wants to have pups.

Metal Bat: He for sure wants pups in the future. He wants a boy and girl specifically, maybe more if his mate was up for it. He wants to teach them how to play baseball and how to beat up baddies and bullies who pick on them.

Tanktop Master: Wants many pups and would definitely put his pups in some little tank tops when they're fresh out of the womb and would show them off as the brand new little members of the Tank Toppers.

Sweet Mask: Wants to have many beautiful pups to cherish and spoil. God forbid if his children turn out below average looking or "ugly" in his standards. Then he'd have to go through some major characters development and changes.

Iaian: Wants to settle down a little and start a family after he has completed his training with Atomic Samurai and pass his wisdom onto.

Lightning Max: He wants pups in the future but would probably wait until he's well into his hero career to do so.

Spring Mustachio: He would definitely want pups. He wants to raise a little gentleman or a little lady.

Fubuki: She could see herself being a mother with the way she takes care if the Blizzard Bunch, so she'd want to have pups when she finds the one.

Mumen Rider: He gets along well with children and has always had a soft spot for them, so he'd want to have his own pups but would probably wait. He knows his job is dangerous and wouldn't want his pup to see him laying in the hospital with critical injuries almost frequently. He'd feel terrible if he put a pup through that.

Garou: He'd want to have a pup but he also knows how cruel children can be and would be afraid that his child would go through the same abuse he suffered or if people would go after them if they knew that the pup's parent was Garou the Hero Hunter. If he did end up having a pup, he'd teach them to beat the hell out of bullies so that they don't end up like Garou.

Suiryu: Always wanted wanted pups of his own and if he does have them, he'll spoil them and teach them everything he knows.

Wouldn't Want Pups:

Snakebite Sneck: He doesn't think that he'd be that good of a father and because of his hero job, he'd barely be home so he doesn't want to have any.

Golden Ball: He just doesn't care to have any.

Puri Puri Prisoner: He's always in prison unless he breaks out, so jo, he doesn't want any.

Zombieman: Considering that he dies all of the time, even though he comes back to life, he'd think that would be pretty terrifying for a pup to see and wouldn't want them to get used to it because one day he might not come back.

Metal Knight: Even though he gets along with Child Emperor, he thinks that having a regular child around him would just get in the way of his work.

Silver Fang: He's much too old to have pups now but still considers Charanko his pup and still considers Garou his pup, which saddens him, seeing the way that Garou turned out and all.

Terrible Tornado: She just can't have a pup getting in the way of her job so she doesn't want one for now.

Stinger: He's young and still focusing on his hero job so he doesn't want any, for now.

Indifferent Towards Pups:

Atomic Samurai: He isn't planning for any pups but if it happened, he wouldn't mind and would teach them everything he knows.

Saitama: Hasn't really thought about pups. He'd have to make it work since his apartment is tiny and he lives off of coupons and sales but if he had an accident child he'd still care for them.

Speed O Sound Sonic: Can't currently see himself having pups but accidents do happen and if he were to have one, he'd love and care for them and would train is child when they're older.

153 notes · View notes

waywardwrestlewritingwaif · 3 years

Text

Raise the Stakes, Part 6

Moving right along...

Don't forget to read Place Your Bets and the first 5 part of Raise the Stakes, which you can find in the Master List.

Pairing: David Finlay x OFC x Jay White

Word count: 2,031

Content advisory: sexual references, cursing, giant dump trucks of angst and hurtfulness

There is nothing weird about this, you tell yourself. This is what adults do. They acknowledge their mistakes and achieve some kind of closure that leaves everyone a little sadder and wiser, but also peaceful.

“Yeah, idiot,” you murmur out loud, “that’s why you’re standing here scared shitless of a door.”

You have to knock. You have to do this. You’re so worked up you feel nauseous.

The last few days have been awful. You’d slunk around under a dark cloud of shame and guilt, which was only emphasized by the fact that Jay had been as cheery and relaxed as you’d ever seen him in his life. He was funny and attentive and you hadn’t been able to enjoy any of it because there wasn’t an atom in your body that felt like you deserved it.

Even worse, as you’ve been dragging yourself around work, you’ve been trying to get caught, wandering around where you’re going to run into David Finlay. It’s only half-conscious but you feel like if you could just get him to say something, scream at you, dump all the scorn and abuse you so richly deserve on your shoulders, it might actually make things better.

But as much as you’ve tried to worm your way into his path, Finlay hasn’t so much as glanced. It’s a conscious effort on his part. It has to be. But the only look he’s given is still that awful, gutting one you got when he’d reappeared in Japan and seen you on Jay’s lap,,,

Perhaps you wouldn’t be quite so shaken up if things hadn’t seemed a bit tense with Jay earlier. He’d headed out to go to dinner and clubs with some wealthy New Japan sponsors, something you knew usually meant hitting hostess clubs and all manner of other things. Yes, you were thrilled that it finally gave you the chance to force contact with David, but it also seemed creepily reminiscent of the way your life had been before Jay had suddenly decided to romance you.

You are not here because you’re insecure about Jay. You are here because if you don’t talk things out at least a little with David, it’s going to kill you. You’re grownups. You can have a serious, respectful conversation where you apologize for everything you’ve done wrong.

Finally, you grit your teeth and knock on the apartment door.

It swings open and there he is, a look of utter disbelief on his face for a second before he rolls his eyes.

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

He immediately walks away and back into his apartment but since he doesn’t slam the door in your face, you slip inside it and watch as he cleans up the remains of what appears to be a home cooked dinner. It smells nice.

“I didn’t know you cooked,” you offer meekly.

He doesn’t even bother to turn around. “What do you want?”

He couldn’t sound any less interested.

“I want… I owe you an apology. I mean, I wanted to say that I’m so sorry-“

“Good, ok, message delivered,” he snaps. “Trust you can show yourself out.”

“David, please, I just want to tell you how awful I feel. I never meant for things to get so screwed up and I know that it’s my fault. I’m just so sorry.”

He shifts to the sink and starts washing his hands, way too vigorously.

“Yeah, I heard you the first time.” You can see his shoulders shudder a little and it breaks your heart. All you want to do is hug him and tell him over and over that you feel horrible.

“Bye.” His voices rises enough that you can hear the anger in it.

There’s a wisp of hair that’s fallen over his face and you have to restrain yourself from walking over and brushing it out of the way.

“Can you just look at me, please?”

From what you can see of his face, he looks furious.

“I don’t want to look at you. I don’t want to have to see you at work. I don’t want to smell your perfume. I don’t want to hear your self-important, grating little voice.”

He wipes his hands and throws the dish towel down with a vengeance before he finally turns and meets your eyes.

“And what I really don’t want is to have you here in my home, the place where I’m supposed to be able to relax and clear my head, putting on this little contrite performance so that you can feel better about yourself.”

“That’s not fair.”

He lets out a painful sort of laugh and stares at the floor. “You are unreal, lady. I mean the ego on you-“

“I wouldn’t be here if I… I know you hate me and I deserve that but I want you to understand…”

He brings his hand to his head, pinching his temples like he’s fighting a migraine.

“I know how this looks terrible but it’s like I got hit by an avalanche.”

“I wish you had.”

The line almost makes you laugh out loud because it’s like something you’d say in the same circumstances.

“He just showed up and started freaking out because he saw us together the day before and I should have just tried to stop things but it just all escalated and I’m not trying to say that this isn’t my fault because it is.”

He holds up his hand, frowning and obviously trying to work through what you’ve just said.

“He told you that he saw us together the day before?”

“Yes, and it was like he thought this was some huge betrayal-“

“When did all this escalation happen exactly?”

Your jaw drops as you realize that you’ve just made things much worse.

“I don’t know, I guess it happened pretty quickly.”

“Like what, the day after I left?”

You move your mouth but you can’t make words come out.

“Jesus Christ, it wasn’t even that long, was it? You were probably riding his dick before I was even on the goddamned plane.” He breaks down in a mirthless, disquieting laughter. “Here I’ve been thinking that he was working on you and just wore you down. Son of a bitch didn’t even have to do that.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, starting to choke up. “I’m just-“

“So very sorry, I got it. I am not hard of hearing. Might be a bit naive and terribly fucking stupid, but yeah, the hearing is just fine.”

You feel like you’re about to crumple, like even your skeleton is so revolted that it wants to get away from you.

David shakes his head and stares at you, clear-eyed. “You are just pathetic. You know he doesn’t love you. You know this ends with you crying yourself to sleep at night because he’s right back to being the same person he’s always been.”

You feel like you’re on fire. “Alright, you’re hurt and you want to hurt me. I get it. But you know what a lousy thing that is to say.”

“It’s good that you’re back with him. You deserve each other.”

You clench every muscle in your face, determined not to start crying until you’re out the door. You think about the way he looked at you when you had breakfast together and wish that you could go running back to that man.

“No, really. It’s good,” he continues. “Because at least if the two of you are together, the rest of us are safe.”

There’s a long, painful silence before he speaks again.

“Great talk. Thank you for coming here to make sure I know that there was not one ounce of sincerity in anything you said to me, that what happened with us was just your way of getting Jay all riled up and possessive.”

Now it’s you who can’t look him in the eye. You keep mumbling apologies like a mantra, hoping that somehow you can break through this thorny armour he’s donned. Very slowly, head bent in shame, you make your way towards him, unsure what you’re trying to accomplish.

With every step, you expect him to scream at you but when he doesn’t, you move just a little closer. This is it. You’ve lost your goddamn mind. Just once more, you want to experience that profound sense of safety and calm you’d gotten on the two occasions when you’d curled up in bed with him. It’s all destroyed now, of course. You destroyed it. But you keep approaching, your eyes riveted to that perfect space in his shoulder where your head fits so perfectly. You’re close enough that you can feel the radiant heat from his body, the wave of his breath in your hair.

Lightly but insistently, he puts his hands on your shoulders so that you know to stay where you are.

“If there is anything I can do to make this even a little bit better… I know I can’t fix it but if I thought we could at least be… human to each other. Anything at all, I’ll do it.”

“Ok,” he murmurs.

The pressure of his hands on your shoulders grows a little heavier and his lips drift down so that you feel his calm breath against your ear. Your entire body feels electric.

“Here it is,” he whispers. “Get the fuck out of here and never come back.”

You straighten up and fall back a step, hoping you haven’t heard him correctly.

He nods a little. “Now.”

You sit on the tiny square of iron and cement that passes for a balcony in your building, knees pulled up to your chest, slowly smoking your way through the “safety pack” of cigarettes you keep in the freezer. You haven’t smoked regularly since college but there are moments when your body just demands it to function.

It’s just as well that Jay’s out entertaining and being entertained because you can’t make yourself think about anything but David. The idea that someone is out there hating you that much is bad enough, but that it’s him, someone you like… someone you’ve always liked. Every time you think of the things he said, the knife twists in your gut a little harder. Some of it was too much, no matter how hurt he was, but very little of it was wrong.

Maybe if the two of you had met up in a place where Jay White didn’t exist to trigger all your insecurities.

The worst part is the sense that you’ve been permanently dismissed, that what happened tonight was the end. You know that you should respect his wishes but you’re already thinking of ways you could trap him and make him speak to you. And you’re very aware that the way you’re thinking is creepy.

It’s ridiculous. You’re getting lavished with attention by the man you’ve been hung up on for years. Maybe he even wants this to be a relationship. But at the moment you feel gutted because the man you dropped to get to where you are now has indicated he doesn’t want to speak. Theoretically, you’re in a great position but it feels like you have nothing.

You’d like to think that you’re just crazy and you just want to find something to be anxious about, or you have a self-destructive compulsion. But that feels like it would be letting yourself off easy, claiming that you couldn’t be any other way, even if you tried. Maybe you can’t be any different here in Japan, isolated and constantly in the presence of the guy who’s been holding your leash for six years. In another universe, where you’ve made different decisions and learned from your mistakes, maybe you would be the sort of girl who could meet someone like David Finlay and revel in the way you feel about him and the way he felt about you.

But your reality is that you are here. You are in this strange position with Jay. And David, who seemed to smitten with you just a few weeks ago, never wants to speak to you again. Nothing you can do to change that. Right?

#njpw fanfic #njpw imagine #david finlay fanfic #david finlay imagine #jay white fanfic #jay white imagine #wrestling imagine #wrestling fanfiction #wayward wrestle writing

12 notes · View notes

forthereaderinserts · 4 years

Text

Royally Fucking up the Timelines!

-CHAPTER ELEVEN: FOUR DAYS-

“Hey, hey, haven’t you heard?”

“What? What?”

“Have you heard of the person that’s hypersensitive to the cold?”

“No, I didn’t! What’s up with them?”

“I heard that they died by being shoved into the school freezer. The people that pushed them in were their two older siblings.”

“No way! What was their name?”

“Their name was…”

The covers were ripped off of you, causing you to shiver and curl into a ball.

“Five more minutes...”

You groaned.

“No. I need you to do something.”

You open your eyes, seeing Muzan staring down at you.

“Whaaaaat?”

You asked, closing your eyes.

“Just get up and then I’ll tell you.”

You roll off the bed with a long groan. You land onto the floor with your arm as a cushion.

“Now can you tell me?”

You ask.

Muzan picks up the pile of clothes he gave you six day ago and pulls out a red, flower-patterned yukata.

“You’re going to learn how to wear this for the plan.”

“... Did you just assume I was a girl?”

“So you’re a boy. Then I have one for you-”

“I’m none.”

“That’s not possible.”

You stand up, making an inside not that you’re up to his chin.

“Yes, it is. But this is the Taisho Era, so I don’t blame you. I go by they/them pronouns. I don’t want to be a boy or girl, so I choose none.”

“No, you can’t. There are only two genders.”

Muzan insists.

You scowl, aggressively saying

“Oh, I’m sorry that your god complex cannot fathom the fact there’s more than two genders. Oh my! The horror! You just can’t believe it!.”

You continue to mock Muzan, dramatically posing.

Veins rapidly appear on Muzan’s face, making you concerned for your fate.

He deeply sighs,

“Fine. But only because I need your for the plan.”

‘Score.’

You pump your fist in front of your face silently.

“You’re still wearing the female yukata, though.”

‘gOD DAMMIT THE MALE YUKATA SEEMED COMFIER-’

“‘Kay. So how are you going to show me?”

You genuinely ask.

Muzan brings out a yukata for himself, saying

“I’m going to show you.”

“Oh, okay. Wait-”

“No, I’m not going to strip. I’m just going to put this over my suit.”

“That's a relief.”

“Anyways, first you wrap the first half of the yukata to the opposite side of the hipbone…”

You… have successfully put on a yukata!

Now you don’t have to worry about getting it wrong and being a failure!

“Tibia honest with you, I kind of like this.”

You state, spinning around in your yukata.

Muzan snaps his head over to you, a look of slight disgust on his face.

“Do not say that ever again.”

He demands.

You throw your hands up in ‘surrender’.

“Alright, alright. But I have to ask you a question. Did you know about the pasta chef a while ago?”

“I don’t care about any ‘pasta chef’.”

“I heard he… pasta-way.”

Muzan looks at you with disappointment etched onto his face.

“Stop it.”

“Never trust an atom, they make up everything!”

Muzan’s face shifts even more.

‘Ohhhh my god I actually made his face turn into something else into anger.’

“I made a pun about the wind, but it would blow.”

“Did you know? I heard about a cross-eyes teacher who couldn’t control their pupils.”

Muzan sighs at your two puns, sitting at his desk to ignore you.

‘You’re not getting out that easy!’

You stand next to him, saying

“What washes up on beaches? Microwaves.”

“What do you call an alligator in a vest? Investigator?”

Muzan turns to you, his face back to normal.

“What is worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?”

He asks.

You respond with

“What?”

“One baby nailed to ten trees.”

A small silence enveloped the two of you before you start laughing

“OH MY GOD NOOO-”

-CHAPTER ELEVEN: END-

WAIT ‘TILL MUZAN’S DAD JOKES KICK IN-

———————————

He has regretted his entire life

#a submission!!!#muzanreader au #submission

62 notes · View notes

thepartyresponsible · 5 years

Text

another whumptober fic! the prompt for this one is isolation. so here’s steve rogers waking up in the wrong century and moving into clint barton’s apartment building.

warnings for depression and angst, but, again, this one is fairly sweet.

SHIELD puts him in an apartment in a building in Bed-Stuy, citing ongoing concerns that he is exhibiting an alarming lack of social integration. Steve doesn’t see how the hell they expect him to stop being lonely. His whole generation is dead or dying. And the older people, the men and women he looked up to, are bones buried under untended gravestones.

A man should lose his mentors one-by-one. Like baby teeth. One bloody bit of bone in your palm is a life lesson, but a whole mouth full of blood, a graveyard full of teeth, that’s a tragedy. That’s a nightmare.

He went for a swim, and, when he came up to breathe, everyone he ever knew was gone or changed.

Every night, he dreams about putting that ship in the water, and, somedays, all he can think when he wakes up is: It was supposed to be quick.

God knows, by the end of the war, he didn’t have the heart left for anything slow. But he’s here anyway, plodding along. Breathing, walking, fighting. These days, people never quit, never slow down, never take time off. There’s always a war somewhere. Always somewhere for him to be.

There’s a woman that SHIELD wants him to talk to. She asks him questions that are probably meant to help. “How are you feeling, Steve? What do you do in your spare time? Have you spoken to any of the Howling Commandos? What about Peggy Carter? Have you made any new friends, Steve? When was the last time you left a SHIELD facility for a reason other than a mission? Did you go outside today, Steve? Are you sleeping? Are you eating?”

Honestly, he’d probably have a better time if she dispensed with the questions and just started ripping his fingernails out with a pair of pliers. It’s a hell of an exaggeration and a disrespect to Bucky besides, but sometimes, after an hour with her, all he can think about is Bucky, strapped to a table, repeating his name, rank, and serial number with empty eyes.

He spends one too many nights walking the hallways after particularly murky missions, and SHIELD gets unnecessarily proactive about it.

“We’re worried about you,” Phil Coulson says. There’s a heaviness in his eyes that isn’t quite disappointment. Steve remembers when Phil used to look at him with the feverish light of hero worship.

“I’m fine,” Steve says.

There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not hungry, not tired, not cold, not sad. He’s nothing. It’s like his brain and body woke up, but his soul stayed in the water. Like every human part of him is still frozen solid.

“If you need time,” Coulson says, “if you need a break from the missions--”

“I don’t,” Steve says. He tries to be patient about it, but the words feel like a threat. He doesn’t know how he’d fill the days if he didn’t have the missions to keep him occupied. There are only so many punching bags in SHIELD storage. There are only so many times he can reread the obituaries of people who died simultaneously four days and forty years after he saw them last.

“We’re worried,” Phil repeats. And he looks it.

From a hero to an object of pity. Well, he’s had worse falls.

“I’m getting better,” Steve says. “I’ve been reading the reports. I have an email account.” One of the SHIELD agents on the latest Strike Team told him he needed a private email address to sign up for things online. Steve’s not sure what he wants to sign up for, but he dutifully checks the empty inbox every morning.

It’s good, he thinks, to be prepared.

“I haven’t broken a phone in two weeks,” Steve tacks on, when Phil still seems unconvinced.

He’s trying. He doesn’t know what the hell they expect from him. Six months ago, he lived in a pre-atomic world. Now people walk around with technology in their pockets that far exceeds what they used to walk on the moon. He can use his phone to check baseball scores and grocery store stock and the weather anywhere in the world. He can order food he’s never tried from a place he’s never been made by people he’s never met, and they’ll deliver it to his door, and he can do all of this without seeing or speaking to a living human being.

No flying cars, though. Guess Howard never did figure that one out as well as he wanted.

“We’ve found an apartment for you,” Phil says. “You need to reintegrate.”

Steve is baffled as to how Phil expects him to reintegrate. His whole world is gone. He’s not coming home. There is no home left. He’s homesick for a time and place that don’t exist anymore. Like a refugee who can’t ever go back. Uprooted, transplanted.

He’s a woolly mammoth, a sabretooth tiger. A reanimated extinct species, brought back to pace the bars of a cage he doesn’t understand. Useless and ludicrous and out of place. A man out of time.

“Sure,” Steve says. It’s no use fighting about it. No reason to upset all these people who just want to help. “That sounds fine.”

What he appreciates most about Clint Barton is that he never once tries to pretend like he isn’t Steve’s assigned babysitter. “Hey,” he says, that first night, crashing into Steve’s apartment with a couple of beers in one hand and the other holding a freezer bag of peas to the side of his face. “I’m Clint Barton. I kinda own the place.”

“Kind of?” Steve asks, blinking as Clint careens a little unsteadily from one corner of the apartment to the other, apparently looking for a place to land. He settles, finally, on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah,” Barton says. He arranges himself on the cluttered kitchen counter, squeezing between the boxes of unpacked dishware and kitchen appliances SHIELD thought he’d need. “I mean, legally. I do. I’ve got paperwork.”

Steve raises his eyebrows. He’s been thinking about getting unpacked. He was coming up with a plan. He got a little distracted staring out the window after all the helpful SHIELD agents disguised as movers left, but he won’t sleep tonight anyway, so he’d figured it didn’t matter how long it took him to get started.

He hadn’t been expecting a guest.

“Um,” Clint says, after a few seconds of silence. He juggles the peas, pinning them against his face with his shoulder, and then pops the caps off both of the beers. “Here. To your new place.”

Steve thinks about asking him to leave, but the ghost of his mother hisses at the discourtesy inherent in refusing a gift-bearing guest. He crosses the apartment to take the beer, knocking the bottle gently against Clint’s before lifting it to his lips.

What the hell. He doesn’t know a poison that will kill him. And he figures SHIELD will have vetted the place from rooftop to basement.

“Thanks,” he says. The beer is cold and hoppy. Decent, he thinks. It tastes vaguely medicinal, the way most food tastes now.

“No problem,” Clint says. He’s blonde-haired and blue-eyed. There are bandages on his hands, and, when the peas droop, Steve catches a glimpse of a still-blooming shiner that’s going to cover a quarter of his face.

“You have some trouble?” Steve asks, tipping his chin toward the bruise.

Clint shrugs. He takes a drink of his beer and kicks his feet, looks perfectly at ease in Steve’s apartment in a way that Steve decidedly does not. “Milk run,” he says, offhand. “Guess I got a bit expeditious about things toward the end. Wanted to be sure I got back in time for your first day.”

Steve blinks. Milk run, he thinks. He hears the word in old echoes, memories of soldiers reporting back. Some of the old slang survived. It’s nice, hearing it. He wonders if someone gave Clint a list of terms to work into casual conversation.

“You’re SHIELD?” Steve asks.

Clint shrugs, grins up at him. His smile is slanted sideways, held down on one side by the bag of peas. But his eyes are bright and friendly, and there’s something comforting in the lazy disregard of his body language, like he doesn’t know or care who Steve used to be.

“Don’t tell them I told you,” he says. “I have a bet going with my buddy that I can make it at least a week.”

Steve snorts. He’s quiet for a second, weighing out the mischief in Clint’s eyes. It’s been a long time since anyone dragged him into anything even remotely playful. “Sure,” he says, caving the second Clint waggles his eyebrows. Something aches and splinters in his chest. He ignores it, clearing his throat while he turns to regard the mess of boxes and bags scattered around the place.

Someone’s going to have to do something about this mess. He figures, as usual, that the someone is going to have to be him.

“Hm,” Clint says. He slithers to the ground, heavy boots clattering on the kitchen floor. He surveys the kitchen counter and then visibly perks up, dropping the peas so he can grab a box, cuddle it lovingly against his chest. “C’mon, Steve,” he says, hefting the new coffeepot onto his hip, “we’ll start with the important stuff.”

Clint leaves around midnight. The living room and kitchen are unpacked, and Steve hasn’t even started on the bedroom, but he’s not worried about it. He goes out to wander the neighborhood until dawn. Just keeping his feet busy, shushing the buzzing hum of his mind. He tests his tether, climbing up onto the roof to watch the sunrise, but, if he has a tail, he never sees them.

When he goes back to his apartment, he encounters Clint in the hallway. He’s mussed and sleep-dazed. There are red lines on his face from where he slept too hard on his pillow. There’s a bit of toothpaste stuck to his chin, and he has a piece of toast shoved in his mouth, a cup of coffee in one hand, and a dog’s leash in the other.

“Mmph,” he says, greeting Steve through the toast.

“Morning,” Steve says, going stock still at the sight of such disarray.

Clint’s wearing pajama pants with little purple bullseyes on them. They’re tucked into combat boots. That bruise got ugly overnight, but all those dark shades really set off the bright blue of his eyes.

“Hey, Steve,” Clint says, after he hooks the dog’s leash around his wrist so he can take the toast out of his mouth. “You sleep okay?”

“Oh, sure,” Steve says. “You?”

“Like a fucking rock,” Clint tells him. And then, with a grimace, “Sorry, I gotta—this is Lucky, and Lucky really needs to pee.”

Everyone Steve’s encountered on this side of the new millennium is efficient and serious and professional. Everyone’s been so bloodless. He thought that was how they raised people these days. But Clint’s a loud, frazzled, mussed-up mess. Clint’s the first living thing Steve’s seen in this century.

Well, right up until the dog sticks its cold nose into the palm of Steve’s hand and whines like a thing with a heart breaking clean in half.

“Oh, hey,” Steve says, crouching down. “Sorry, pal. Didn’t mean to ignore you.”

The dog pants kibble-scented breath in his face. He’s missing an eye. His fur is soft and warm under Steve’s hands.

“Oh, for—Lucky, stop guilt-tripping Steve. He’s a nice guy. C’mon.” But for all his complaining, Clint doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. He’s standing unsteadily, sloping slightly to the side, with one eye closed like he’s letting that half of his brain catch a quick nap.

“You gotta go,” Steve says, giving Lucky one more gentle scratch behind the ears before he stands up. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”

“Oh, definitely,” Clint says. “Just come see us whenever.” He straightens up, gives himself a little shake, and then smiles sweet and sleepy, right in Steve’s face.

Like they’re friends. Like Steve’s a real person. After all this time, after everything he’s done, he can still just be someone’s neighbor.

“See you, Steve. Let me know if you need any more help unpacking.” And then Clint shoves the rest of the toast in his mouth and reaches out to pat Steve on the shoulder as he walks by. He misses pretty catastrophically, getting a handful of Steve’s chest and then just committing to it anyway, patting him like Steve had just patted Lucky, before he dozily meanders his way up the hall.

Steve stares after him for a long moment and then he goes into his apartment, locks the door, and makes some coffee. He drinks it sitting up on his new couch, and he doesn’t expect to fall asleep, but he does anyway.

He dreams about the water. He always dreams about the water.

But he keeps getting flashes, little glimpses through the ice. A black eye and a friendly smile. Soft fur under his hand, a dog’s sad whine echoing from years and years away.

Coffee. He tastes coffee.

And he feels something on his chest, a warmth that spreads outward. A patting. Or maybe a knocking.

Wake up, he thinks. And he does.

#whumptober2019 #no.7 #tw: depression #writing #fic

207 notes · View notes

spacetimewithstuartgary · 4 years

Photo

Why didn't the universe annihilate itself? Neutrinos may hold the answer Alysia Marino and Eric Zimmerman, physicists at CU Boulder, have been on the hunt for neutrinos for the last two decades. That's no easy feat: Neutrinos are among the most elusive subatomic particles known to science. They don't have a charge and are so lightweight--each one has a mass many times smaller than the electron--that they interact only on rare occasions with the world around them. They may also hold the key to some of physics' deepest mysteries. In a study published today in the journal Nature, Marino, Zimmerman and more than 400 other researchers on an experiment called T2K come closer to answering one of the big ones: Why didn't the universe annihilate itself in a humungous burst of energy not long after the Big Bang? The new research suggests that the answer comes down to a subtle discrepancy in the way that neutrinos and their evil twins, the antineutrinos, behave--one of the first indications that phenomena called matter and antimatter may not be the exact mirror images many scientists believed. The group's findings showcase what scientists can learn by studying these unassuming particles, said Zimmerman, a professor in the Department of Physics. "Even 20 years ago, the field of neutrino physics was much smaller than it is today," he said. Marino, an associate professor of physics, agreed. "There's still a lot we're trying to understand about how neutrinos interact," she said. Big Bang Neutrinos, which weren't directly detected until the 1950s, are often produced deep within stars and are among the most common particles in the universe. Ever second, trillions of them pass through your body, although few if any will react with a single one of your atoms. To understand why this cosmic dandelion fluff is important, it helps to go back to the beginning--the very beginning. Based on their calculations, physicists believe that the Big Bang must have created a huge amount of matter alongside an equal quantity of antimatter. These particles behave exactly like, but have opposite charges from, the protons, electrons and all the other matter that makes up everything you can see around you. There's just one problem with that theory: Matter and antimatter obliterate each other on contact. "Our universe today is dominated by matter and not antimatter," Marino said. "So there had to be some process in physics that distinguished matter from antimatter and could have given rise to a small excess of protons or electrons over their antiparticles." Over time, that small excess became a big excess until there was virtually no antimatter left in the cosmos. According to one popular theory, neutrinos underly that discrepancy. Zimmerman explained that these subatomic particles come in three different types, which scientists call "flavors," with unique interactions. They are the muon neutrino, electron neutrino and tau neutrino. You can think of them as the physicist's Neapolitan ice cream. These flavors, however, don't stay put. They oscillate. If you give them enough time, for example, the odds that a muon neutrino will stay a muon neutrino can shift. Imagine opening your freezer and not knowing whether the vanilla ice cream you left behind will now be chocolate or strawberry, instead. But is the same true for antineutrinos? Proponents of the theory of "leptogenesis" argue that if there were even a small difference in how these mirror images behave, it could go a long way toward explaining the imbalance in the universe. "The next big step in neutrino physics is to understand whether neutrino oscillations happen at the same rate as antineutrino oscillations," Zimmerman said. Traveling Japan That, however, means observing neutrinos up close. The T2K, or Tokai to Kamioka, Experiment goes to extreme lengths to do just that. In this effort, scientists use a particle accelerator to shoot beams made up of neutrinos from a research site in Tokai, Japan, to detectors in Kamioka--a distance of more than 180 miles or the entire width of Japan's largest island, Honshu. Zimmerman and Marino have both participated in the collaboration since the 2000s. For the last nine years, the duo and their colleagues from around the world have traded off studying beams of muon neutrinos and muon antineutrinos. In their most recent study, the researchers hit pay dirt: These bits of matter and antimatter seem to behave differently. Muon neutrinos, Zimmerman said, are more inclined to oscillate into electron neutrinos than their antineutrino counterparts. The results come with major caveats. The team's findings are still quite a bit shy of the physics community's gold standard for a discovery, a measure of statistical significance called "five-sigma." The T2K collaboration is already upgrading the experiment so that it can collect more data and faster to reach that mark. But, Marino said, the results provide one of the most tantalizing hints to date that some kinds of matter and antimatter may act differently--and not by a trivial amount. "To explain the T2K results, the difference needs to be almost the largest amount that you could possibly get" based on theory, she said. Marino sees the study as one window to the fascinating world of neutrinos. There are many more pressing questions around these particles, too: How much, for example, does each flavor of neutrino weigh? Are neutrinos, in a really weird twist, actually their own antiparticles? She and Zimmerman are taking part in a second collaboration, an upcoming effort called the Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment (DUNE), that will aid the upgraded T2K in finding those answers. "There are still things we're figuring out because neutrinos are so hard to produce in a lab and require such complicated detectors," Marino said. "There's still room for more surprises." TOP IMAGE....A visualization of the first detection of a neutrino using a device called a hydrogen bubble chamber. A neutrino collided with a proton where the black lines form the shape of an arrow; CENTRE IMAGE....A graphic showing neutrinos emitted from the sun over a period of 1500 days; LOWER IMAGE....Diagram of how the T2K experiment sends and detects beams of neutrinos. (Credits: T2K Experiment) BOTTOM IMAGE....Eric Zimmerman (left) and a colleague work on a "magnetic horn," a device that helps the T2K Experiment generate neutrino beams. (Credit: Glenn Asakawa/CU Boulder)

#space #science #Astronomy #physics #cosmology

1 note · View note

diloph · 5 years

Note

I keep hearing about this 'Burning Godzilla' thing, but I still don't have a clue about what it is. Can you enlighten me, Diloph?

Burning Godzilla is thename given to the hypercharged state that Godzilla enters in the filmGodzilla vs Destoroyah; basically what happens is that the islandthat Godzilla and his son were living on undergoes a volcaniceruption, igniting the radioactive deposits there and overdosingGodzilla with radiation.

As a result, Godzilla’salready insane 90’s powers go through the roof and he now hasfull-time access to his most potent weapon, the Red-SpiralAtomic Breath (previously a finishing move to use at the end of thefilms as a coup de grace, as it is undoubtedly a one-shot kill move)in beam-spammable form. The trade off is that Godzilla isdying… and he can’t stop it.

Godzilla, as he goesthrough the movie, is more powerful than ever before but he’s alsogrowing weaker at the same time; every step is one closer to hisdeath. He looks like he’s literally burning up from the inside,glowing red-hot in some areas and his previously indestructible skinis burning and spewing smoke, ash and steam.

Scientists come to ahorrifying revelation; Godzilla is only going to keep heating up andhas no control over the process. When he reaches a certain point,Godzilla is predicted to explode in a blast many times greaterthan every nuclear explosion ever created… and set theatmosphere on fire, killing all life on Earth.

Once he hits 1200°c(which I always thought was low, even if concrete decays/melts atthis point, but they never specify if that’s his core/overalltemperature or his skin, in which case his insides could be hotter),that’s it. Godzilla dies and he’ll drag the whole world with him.

After he attacks HongKong and tries to refuel at a nuclear plant, the military isreluctant to engage him in fear of setting off the powder keg.Nevertheless, they bust out the new Super X 3 and successfully freezehim, human engineering finally triumphing over Godzilla and stoppinghim cold (sorry).

The good news is thatGodzilla is no longer going to explode!

The bad news is thateverything has gotten much, much worse.

Something happened as aresult of the rapid cooling and now, Godzilla is going to melt downinstead of explode, in a classic China Syndrome scenario. Of course,much like the explosion, this is much bigger than a conventionalmeltdown and has the potential to destroy Earth in its entirety.

Further problems arisewhen a monster created by the Oxygen Destroyer, the weapon thatkilled the original Godzilla, has emerged in Japan. It shrugs off thebest that the military can throw at it, even when they discover itsweakness to extreme heat (good, but implied to keep it mutating) andextreme cold (excellent) and it’s only getting stronger.

Realising that Godzillais following his son, who has managed to avoid the worst of the blastand actually benefit from it by changing into a more adult-like form,they try another daring plan. By luring Godzilla’s son to fight thenewly dubbed Destoroyah, they hope that Destoroyah’s power will helpthem kill Godzilla before he melts down and that Godzilla will haveput enough holes in Destoroyah to take it down too.

Godzilla’s son, namedGodzilla Junior here, does better than anticipated against Destoroyahand actually beats it back for a while. Godzilla manages to reach theJapanese mainland before he expires and the two reunite at an airportin a touching, heartwarming scene.

Enter Destoroyah’sfinal form.

Now, I’ve been tellingyou so far that Godzilla’s powers in the 90’s have been insane and inhis burning form, even moreso. This should clearly be a quick, easyfight for the King of the Monsters, right?

No.

No, it is not.

Destoroyah wipes thefloor with Godzilla.

It flings him to oneside, grabs his son and flies him hundreds of feet into the air, thendrops him to his death. As a result of this, Godzilla becomes angrierand stronger than ever at the death of his son.

Destoroyah wipes thefloor with him again.

It drags Godzilla bythe neck and dumps him into the ocean, engaging him once more when hegets back onto land and temporarily beats it back. He goes to hisson, just in time to see him slip away, despite his desperateattempts to revive him.

He fails.

All of his power, hisstrength, his abilities and he can’t even save his son.

Junior passes away andwhat happens next is actually heartbreaking. The Heisei films aregiven a lot of flack for not giving Godzilla as much of a characteras the Showa period. I’d disagree (there are plenty of charactermoments, they’re just all similar “This makes me mad” or “Whatfresh new hell” moments from a more taciturn creature), but even inthis film, you have characters that remark that Godzilla “doesn’tknow what happened” or “doesn’t understand what’s going on”.

They could not be morewrong.

Stoically, the HeiseiGodzilla straightens his back, his face set in his permanent scowl…and breaks down. He roars. He cries, even though he has nowater left in him to make tears. He blasts the sky fruitlessly,attempting to vent his rage, avenge his son. The one good thing hehad left in his life. The one thing that had kept him away from themainland, saving thousands of lives each day, might have even beganto reform him. The one thing worth living for. The one thing thatmight have survived his death. The one thing he loved in this worldand now his beloved child is gone.

It’s at this point thatGodzilla is not just expected to die, but now feels he has nothingleft to live for.

And worse still,Destoroyah is still not done with him. Godzilla is angrier than hehas ever been, stronger than he has ever been, he no longer hasanything to hold back… and Destoroyah still manhandles him. Itpicks him up, drags him away from his son’s body and tosses him toone side, ready to engage again.

People tend to equatefoes like Hedorah and King Ghidorah to this creature, but honestly,neither of them can hold a candle to what Destoroyah is capable ofweathering, even in their own most powerful incarnations. Destoroyahis the Doomsday to Godzilla’s Superman, the Bane to his Batman. It isthere for the explicit purpose of killing Godzilla and takingeverything that he can throw at it and more.

With his lifespan nowbeing measured in minutes, Godzilla rises and with 20°cleft to go, he starts to melt down, his dorsal fins crumbling andmelting like wax. His back spews out radiation as if it were abreath-weapon itself, all in silence as he tries to come to gripswith the tremendous pain he is in.

ThenGodzilla gives Destoroyah everything.

Hisatomic breath sweeps from his mouth, a blast bigger than he is tall,igniting the air around both monsters. It misses entirely, but theshockwaves from the blast alone are enough to rip Destoroyah toshreds, staggering the beast.

Hekeeps going, the blasts puncturing Destoroyah like bullets through awet paper bag and the monster that has tanked the most powerfulabilities Godzilla has ever had, tossed Godzilla around like a toyeven when he was at the apex of his power screamsand runs away.

It doesn’t get far. The military freezes its wings and Godzillarefuses to move. Inan extreme hot-cold environment, Destoroyah loses its altitude,falters and screams as it plummets towards the ground and dies. Thetanks move into position. The Super X 3 circles and begins itsstrafing run.

It’stime.

Alonenow, without friend or foe, Godzilla begins to melt down. Once again,the scene is silent, save for Akira Ifukube’s music, a compositionwhich I think was named “Requiem” as Godzilla dies. It’sbeautiful and tragic, a stern reminder that for all of thefantastical elements, all the absurdities and mockery it might take,this series meanssomething.

Thereis no last stand against the tanks. No blaze of glory for this tiredold monster. No retaliation from this brutal creature who has killedso many and haunted the nightmares of many more. He is bombarded withanti-radiation missiles, freezer rays, his skin frosts over… andthen, the light. All the ice melts instantly, a light greater thanthe sun fills the air, turning night to day.

Godzillatakes a ragged breath as his skin peels away from his face, exposingflesh and bone, his own matter gargling in his throat. He lets outone last, wailing and almost unidentifiable roar of anguish, pain andloss as his chest bursts in a spew of what looks like magma. His bodymelts away, his skeleton crumbling in on itself as nothing remains ofGodzilla but an unearthly light and smoke.

Godzillais dead.

Withthat, he passes into legend and his enemies weep for him, forthemselves. Miki Saegusa, the one constant of the Heisei series, theonly person who ever even believed in coexistence with him, mournshis passing. As the radiation from the meltdown turns Tokyo into afuture dead-zone, those assembled grimly look on the devastation…until the radiation levels begin to fall.

Inthe smoke, silhouetted by the light of his dying father, GodzillaJunior rises again. Fully grown and ready to carry on the legacy, butwith his more passive stance towards mankind, one that would benefiteveryone. Godzilla will carry on, even long after Godzilla is gone.

So,to answer your question, Burning Godzilla is the hypercharged statethat Godzilla achieves when he is overdosed with radiation. Hebecomes more powerful than ever before, but at the cost of his ownlife.

Butit’s so much more than that.

It’sthe end of an era. It’s the death of the immortal. It’s the sign thatwhile things change, they do not necessarily need to end. It’s rawpower and tragedy and sadness and pain. It’s strength and weakness,poetry and hammy 90’s cliché, something that adults and childrenalike understand, love and fear.

It’sGodzilla, through and through.

#Godzilla #once again I've written an essay that seems more prose than a straightforwards answer #like I know that I project on characters a bunch but I really REALLY feel strongly about them #and honestly that's what I got from Godzilla vs Destoroyah #this is a tragedy and it HURTS you just as much as it hurts Godzilla #he got a son and stopped his constant rampages he stayed away #Junior was a GOOD influence on him and he really truly loved his child #and this film takes it away from him #it took away his sole reason to hope and to keep living even as it was marking him for death #for if 'true' Godzilla films only matter when he's in pain or when he's in a tragedy #it's the first time in a long time that Godzilla experiences loss like that #and that's why I respect the Heisei series probably a little more than I should

10 notes · View notes