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justforbooks · 3 years

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The Lisa Computer System – Apple designs a new kind of machine

Gregg Williams Senior Editor

I had an interesting conversation with an engineer on a recent flight from San Francisco to New York. He knew only a little about microcomputers, but he was aware that their presence is slowly becoming more common in the workplace. “Sure, the industry is healthy, but it’s still only reaching a few people,” he said. “Most people won’t use computers they’re afraid of them, they don’t know what to use them for, or it’s too much trouble to use them. Before computers become really profitable, they’re going to have to be very easy to use. They have to be simpler. They’ve got to be useful in the office.”

He continued, “We’ve got to stop using paper which means the computer has to do word processing, filing, electronic mail, everything or it’ll be too much trouble having some things on the computer and others on paper. Then you’ve got to be able to talk to other computers other computers like yours and some big corporate computer that’s halfway across the country. Sure, it’s a lot of stuff, but when you get all that together, then you’ll see computers really take off.” What could I say? Not very much, for two reasons. First, he was absolutely right we need all that and more before computers become as commonplace as color TVs and electric typewriters. Second, I had agreed not to talk about a computer I had just seen that meets many of his points: Apple Computer’s highly secret Lisa computer (see photo 1).

The Lisa at Work

Before we take a detailed look at what the Lisa is and how it came about, let’s look at an example of what it can do. Suppose I’m writing a report for my boss and I want to prepare a chart to illustrate a certain point. With a few movements of the mouse (more on this pointing device later), I “tear off” a sheet of Lisa Graph “paper” (thus activating a program called Lisa Calc and displaying an empty grid on the screen) and give it the heading “Annual Sales.” I then type my numbers into the grid, name the graph and the x and y axes, and request a bar graph.

Voila: I get the bar graph (superimposed on top of the data) shown in photo 2a. At this point, I can simply print the graph or save it for inclusion with my report, but I’m not satisfied with the way it looks. I then use the mouse to “cut” the graph from the Lisa Graph paper and put it in a temporary storage place called the clipboard. I can then “throw away” the Lisa Graph “paper” I was using.

My next step is to “tear off” a sheet of Lisa Calc “paper” and paste my “Annual Sales” bar chart from the clipboard onto it. Photo 2b shows the result.

I want to make the bars darker, so I use the mouse to move the cursor (the arrow pointing diagonally up in photo 2b) onto the rectangle and tell the computer that I want to work on that bar by clicking the button on top of the mouse twice. (I could almost as easily have selected all four bars, but I’ll just do one here.) As a result, the bar is selected, as shown in photo 2c. (In the Lisa system, you first select what you want to work on, then you select the action you want performed.) The small black squares that appear on the edge of the object are called handles; not only do they show which object has been selected, they also serve as “handles” by which the cursor can move or alter a shape.

Now that the bar is selected, I move the cursor to one of the menu titles at the top of the screen (also shown in photo 2c). I see the menu of possible actions by pointing the cursor at the menu title and holding down the mouse button (photo 2d). Here, the menu is a grid of 36 varieties of shading that can be used to fill the selected area. When I move the cursor to the desired shade box and let up on the mouse button, the pop-up menu, as it is called, disappears and the shading fills the box (photo 2e).

It is equally simple to change the size, type style, and position of the title “Gross Sales.” By holding down the mouse button when the cursor points just to the left of the first letter and letting it up when the cursor points just past the last letter, I can select an area of text that the Lisa then puts in reverse video (photo 2f). When I select an option from the ‘Type Style” menu (photo 2g), the text is redisplayed in its new size and style (photo 2h). I then modify the title to an italic font in a similar way (photo 2i). Finally, I pick up the title with the cursor, “drag” it to a new location, and leave it there (photo 2j). Many other alterations are possible. When I’m satisfied with the graph, I can print it, save it, or do both.

This example conveys only a fraction of the speed and the ease of use associated with the Lisa computer and the programs that go with it. Now that we’ve seen the system at work, let’s take a look at what makes it so different.

Foundations of the Lisa Design

The design effort that resulted in the Lisa computer is remarkably innovative because the designers did what designers should do define the product’s prospective customers, determine their needs, and then design a product to meet those needs. Apple was also willing to give its designers enough time and money (with no marketing restrictions attached) to first design and then create a computer that redefines the expression “state of the art.” Granted, the Lisa’s designers drew heavily on previous work done at Xerox PARC (Palo Alto Research Center), but they refined several borrowed elements and combined them with numerous innovations. (For further information on the design process, see “An Interview with Wayne Rosing, Bruce Daniels, and Larry Tesler” on page 90.) Apple started this project with the intention of creating not only a product but the foundation for a whole new computer technology, one that would create computers literally anybody can use. The company’s first task was to devise a new user interface that is, a new and better way for humans to interact with the computer. The result was an internal (to Apple Computer Inc.) “User Interface Standards” document that describes how a user interacts with the Lisa system.

Although the Lisa design has several important elements, four stand out: the machine’s graphics-mouse orientation, the “desktop” and “data-as-concrete-object” metaphors, and the integrated design of the hardware and software. Let’s look at each of these in turn.

The graphics-mouse orientation: The traditional text display and keyboard input device make for a computer that is let’s face it not too easy to use. Apple decided that the graphics resolution of the machine had to be high enough to use pictures (often called icons by Apple) in place of text. (For example, see the icons on the right-hand side of photo 2a.) Pictures are more easily recognized and understood than text. Because of this, you can probably figure out that the garbage-can icon in photo 2a is used to throw something away.

Apple also knew that it needed a new, easier-to-use input device to move the frequently used arrow-shaped cursor. The designers passed over such devices as light pens and touch-sensitive video panels in favor of the mouse, a pointing device used in several Xerox PARC machines. The mouse, which is about the size of a pack of cigarettes, has a small bearing on the bottom and one or more buttons on the top (see photo 3). When you hold it in your hand and slide it across a flat surface, the mouse sends signals to the computer, which guide the video cursor in the direction that you’ve moved the mouse. The mouse Apple designed has only one button; Apple broke with the conventional wisdom of two- and three-button mice after user tests indicated that people aren’t always sure which button to push on a multiple-button mouse.

With graphics of sufficient quality and a mouse, the Lisa lets you get what you want by pointing at it. Because the video cursor moves in direct response to the way the hand moves the mouse, you feel as if you’re actually pointing at something on the screen. This has the positive psychological effect of making you feel in control.

The “desktop” metaphor: When you turn on the Lisa system, the screen is empty except for the presence of several icons. The Lisa computer depends on the metaphor that the video display is a desktop, while the icons are objects on the desktop. Each peripheral connected to the Lisa (floppy and hard disks, printers, and other peripherals connected by interface cards) is represented on the desktop by either an icon (if it is not in use) or a rectangular area called a window (if it is available for use). The Lisa computer normally replaces the conventional file directory with a collection of objects displayed in the window of the associated mass-storage device. Each file is represented by an object of some sort usually a report, a tool, or a document and objects can be grouped together in folders, which are also treated as objects. (Actually, the computer can give you a conventional directory on request, but only traditional computer users will ask for this option.) An example of the Lisa file system will illustrate how useful this metaphor is. From a cleaned-up desktop with nothing but icons on the right of the screen, I use the mouse to point to the Profile (hard disk) icon and click the mouse button twice; this has the effect of “opening” the Profile and displaying its contents. The Profile icon changes to a white silhouette and its original black-on-white shape expands to a window named “Profile.” ( Photo 4a was taken after three items shown as black icons had been selected for manipulation. When the Profile icon is first opened, all of the icons inside it are white that is, unselected.) To view and then work with the contents of the Tools folder, I put the cursor on the folder and click the mouse button twice. The icon expands, leaving a gray silhouette and a window named “Tools,” as shown in photo 4b. The window is just that a window into whatever the Tools folder contains. The symbols on the margin of each window are points from which the cursor can direct several operations on the window. For example, when the cursor points to the small folder icon in the upper left-hand corner of the Tools window and the mouse button is clicked twice, the folder “closes” and the video display reverts to the image it had before the folder was opened.

If the Tools folder contains more than the window can show, you can do one of two things to see the additional contents. First, you can scroll the window either horizontally or vertically. Second, you can put the cursor on the expand/contract icon (in the lower right-hand corner of the window), hold down the mouse button, and move the cursor. An outline of the window follows the cursor (photo 4c); when the mouse button is released, the window grows to its new size (photo 4d).

Once you’ve been shown the mechanics of manipulating objects and windows, you have a working knowledge of several essential operations of the Lisa file system (called the “Desktop Manager”). The desktop metaphor does two things for you. It helps you to remember certain operations because they make sense in the context of the object-related icons. Second, it draws on your general knowledge of office supplies and how they are used. These elements help Apple achieve its objective of creating a system that people can learn to use some aspect of in under 30 minutes.

The “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor: More than anything else, this metaphor is the foundation of the Lisa computer design and its probable success. As you can see from the example above, the Lisa file system makes you feel as if you are actually moving and changing objects, not merely manipulating abstract data. The Lisa Graph/Lisa Draw example shown in photos 2a through 2j creates the same illusion, as do all the other Lisa application programs.

The “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor depends on a condition most computer programs don’t fulfill: that intuitively reasonable operations can be performed on objects at any time. Most computer programs have modes that restrict your activities at any given time; for example, many word-processing programs don’t let you do numeric calculations and then incorporate them into the document you’re writing. With the Lisa application programs, however, you can switch your attention from a sheet of Lisa Write “paper” to a sheet of Lisa Calc “paper” and back with no problem, just as you could if they were two sheets of paper on your desk.

Because you deal with recognizable objects such as folders and reports, you feel secure in the knowledge that your data will not disappear. “After all,” it seems to be telling you, “computer files can mysteriously disappear, but folders, reports, and tools do not. If a file disappears, there’s a logical explanation â€” either you threw it away or you filed it elsewhere. In either case, the situation is still under your control.” In other words, the “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor demystifies the computer by transforming data into physical objects that behave in a predictable and reasonable way.

Integrated design: Not only is the Lisa computer the result of an integrated design, it is also the result of an iterated one. The Lisa hardware and software were designed only after Apple had identified the needs of its target users. Once a given version of the system was implemented, it was tested by the kind of people who would eventually be using it. The test findings dictated hardware and software changes, and Apple went through the design/test/revise cycle several times until everybody was satisfied with the result. This ensures that the Lisa does not fall prey to a problem common to microcomputers: being technologically sophisticated, but still hard or inconvenient to use.

During the iterations of the design process, the Apple design team looked for opportunities to have separate Lisa programs do their tasks in the same way. It then incorporated these common operating procedures into the Apple user-interface standard and tried to apply them to other Lisa programs. The result is a large amount of common behavior and structure among all the Lisa programs. For example, you enlarge or move a window the same way whether it is a Lisa Calc window or a Lisa Draw window. You also open, close, copy, and rename objects the same way throughout the system.

According to Apple, this attempt at standardization has two advantages. First, it shortens the time an average person takes to become comfortable with a system from a range of 20 to 40 hours (Apple’s estimate, based on tests it conducted) to several hours. Second, it lets you apply what you learn in one program to all other programs.

This commonality among Lisa programs is largely ‘ responsible for the ease with which beginners learn how to do something useful on the Lisa computer; it usually takes less than half an hour, even for people who have never sat in front of a computer before.

The Lisa Application Programs

The Lisa system will be offered with six application programs. Both new packages and improved versions of the first six programs will be offered at a later date, and in time third-party software developers working with cooperation from Apple will create additional programs. At this writing, no price had been set for the programs, but Apple expects them to cost between $300 and $500 each, a justifiable price for programs of this caliber.

I don’t have room here to describe all the features of each program. Instead, I will comment briefly on each one and say that, in general, all of them have more options and features than most people will use. (See photos in which popup menus are visible for an idea of some of the commands available.) One in particular deserves mention: the “Undo Last Change” command, which is available in every program. This wonderful command lets you undo the effects of the last one you issued. It’s a tremendous security blanket that enables you to experiment and work without worrying about making an irrevocable mistake.

Here are the six application programs (a telecommunications program, Lisa Terminal, is covered in the section on “Communications and Databases.”): Lisa Draw is easily the showpiece of the Lisa system. The example in photos 2b through 2j shows only a small part of what it can do. See photos 2d, 2g, and 5a through 5d for some of the pop-up menus. Lisa Draw enables you to draw lines, boxes, circles and * ellipses, arcs, and polygons all with the mouse. You can add text at any place in any of 11 typeface/size combinations. In addition, you can modify any typeface with any combination of underline, bold, italic, hollow, and shadow styles for a combination of 11 X 25 or 352 distinct kinds of type. Lisa Draw has grids and rulers that can be displayed to help make drawings neat. Shapes can be selected and centered by a given horizontal or vertical edge. You also put Lisa Draw in an “auto-grid” mode that causes lines and shapes to align themselves with the grid you have chosen. Drawings can cover as many as 25 pages; Lisa Draw prints them out a page at a time and you join the edges together to make a larger drawing a convenient feature if your drawing can’t fit on one page. This program is a joy to use.

Lisa Write is the best “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” word processor I’ve seen. Between the keyboard and the mouse, you can add, change, delete, and move text, change its appearance, reformat it, and do just about anything you’d want to in a word processor. Of course, you can see each page exactly as it will appear on paper (see photo 6). My only criticism of the program is that the version I saw paused a second or so between when I typed a phrase and when it appeared on the screen. The delay is due to the large amount of processing the machine has to do before it can display the new text (and perhaps scroll other text down), but the designers are aware of the problem and are working on minimizing the time delay in the final version.

Lisa Project is used to keep track of projects and personnel, and it does so using PERT (Program Evaluation and Review Technique), Gantt, and task charts. Using the mouse and the keyboard, you can add, delete, move, change, and label activity boxes. Each box contains the activity name and its personnel and time requirements. The Lisa Project program displays the PERT chart (see photo 7a), drawing a heavy outline around the activity boxes on the critical path (a path of activities for which delays will lengthen the duration of the project). The program can also optionally use such information as worker vacation times and the length of the work week to influence the final chart. You can also have the program show the early-start, early-finish, late-start, and late-finish dates associated with the PERT method. The Gantt chart (photo 7b) shows resource utilization over time, including unutilized resources (shown in gray). The task chart (not shown) displays tasks by their early-start date.

Like the rest of the Lisa system, Lisa Project gives you incredibly clear error messages. For example, when you try to take the “end” circle off the screen, you get the error shown in photo 7c, which must be answered before you can continue.

Lisa Calc is as sophisticated a spreadsheet program as any other on the market. In this instance, I don’t think the mouse improves on cursor keys because one hand has to alternate between the mouse (to move the spreadsheet cursor) and the keyboard (to enter data into the spreadsheet cells). In any case, most people who want a Lisa computer are interested in the kind of structured numeric recalculation that spreadsheets are good at, and Lisa Calc certainly fills this need. Of course, data can be traded between Lisa Calc and other Lisa programs without restriction, which means, for example, that you can “paste” a section of spreadsheet data into a document being prepared by Lisa Write. Photos 8a and 8b show the process of displaying the formula of each cell along with its value.

Lisa List, a single-user database that permits records of up to 100 fields totaling 1000 bytes, probably illustrates best the “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor. When you add, change, or search for records, you work directly on the list visible in the window, not on an auxiliary display (like a data-entry screen) that limits you to working on the current record only. Record fields are defined as being one of eight data types (text, number, date, money, time, social-security number, phone number, or zip code), and Lisa List does automatic type-checking during data entry. Photo 9 shows an example of a Lisa List window. One slight problem is that the social-security number, phone number, and zip code fields have fixed formats for example, zip codes are limited to five digits. You must revert to the general-purpose text format if you want to be able to convert to 9-digit zip codes or use foreign telephone numbers.

Lisa List has many attractive features. Of course, you can display or print parts of the list in many ways; you can sort the list in several ways or select records according to given criteria. You can move the cursor with either the mouse or the arrow keys. The contents of fields are stored internally in a compact form to increase the overall storage capacity of the program. In addition, Lisa List has two very useful features that every database should have: the ability to add fields to or change field widths in an existing file and the ability to put any amount of information in a field regardless of its stated width (field width influences only how much data is visible).

Lisa Graph is an application program that creates a bridge between the number-oriented Lisa Calc and the picture-oriented Lisa Draw. Lisa Graph takes a matrix of numbers (entered either by the user from Lisa Graph or transferred from another source) and creates virtually instantly a bar, line, mixed bar and line, scatter (x-y plot), or pie chart. Photo 2a shows a typical Lisa Graph window, and the sequence of photos 2a through 2j shows how Lisa Draw can customize a drawing from Lisa Graph.

Reliability

Computers are worthless if nobody uses them, and the i Lisa system has made great strides toward eliminating that possibility. Certainly, it has been designed to be easy to use. But the Lisa system will probably be used by computer novices because of its reliability, both in the physical and psychological sense.

Physical reliability is the kind that makes an engineer feel secure. Apple IIs, for instance, have a reputation for being very reliable, and I’m sure that the Lisa computer was engineered with even more care. (For example, the Lisa is constructed as a series of modules, any one of which you can pull out without tools. And despite its internal complexity, it was engineered to dissipate excess heat without a cooling fan that’s engineering!) I can’t say how reliable the Lisa is overall because I don’t have enough direct experience with it. But I do know that Apple has concentrated on improving the reliability of the source of a great many problems: the floppy disk. Despite the features of the Lisa disk drive that put it at the leading edge of disk technology (see the text box “The Lisa Hardware” for more details), Apple claims that the hardware (assisted by its sophisticated disk-accessing software) has an error rate so low that Apple couldn’t quantify it during tests. Apple said, however, that the hardware makes less than one error in one trillion (1012) operations.

Apple has also adopted a redundant data structure for information on the disk that lessens (or sometimes eliminates) the effect of losing a sector of information. This redundancy is on three levels blocks, files, and The Lisa Hardware.

Reporting on the technical specifications of a computer toward the end of an article is unusual for BYTE, but it emphasizes that the why of Lisa is more important than the what. For part of the market, at least, the Lisa computer will change the emphasis of microcomputing from “How much RAM does it have?” to “What can it do for me?” For example, it is almost misleading to say that the Lisa comes with one megabyte of RAM, even though the fact itself is true. That doesn’t mean that the Lisa is sixteen times better than machines that have 64K bytes of RAM. Nor does it necessarily mean that the Lisa can work on much larger data files than other computers; its application programs each take 200K to 300K bytes, which significantly reduces the memory available for data. It’s more instructive to say, for example, that the Lisa with one megabyte can hold a 100-row by 50-column spreadsheet (as its advertisements state). With this in mind, let’s take a look at the Lisa.

“Lisa” stands for Local Integrated Software Architecture, but it’s really just an excuse to retain Apple’s pet name for the project. The Lisa has a 68000 microprocessor, which is a true 16-bit microcomputer that has a 16-bit data bus, a 24-bit address bus (giving access to 16 megabytes of memory), and 32-bit-wide registers (all but the 16-bit status register). The 68000 in the Lisa runs at a frequency of 5 MHz. It can have up to 1 megabyte of memory with parity and comes standard with one megabyte (1024K bytes).

The video display is a 12-inch monochrome monitor (black and white, not tinted) with a resolution of 720 by 364 pixels. The interlaced image is refreshed at 60 Hz, which eliminates the possibility of eyestrain from subliminal flickering. The video display is completely generated by internal software, so the Lisa can use multiple character sizes and fonts without restriction. It also means that Apple is not restricted to any one style of video image; the designers can radically change the behavior of the system with a new release of software.

The Apple 871 disk drives design (called “twiggy drives” inside the company) are significantly different from conventional floppy-disk drives. Each one uses a 6504 microprocessor as a “smart” interface between it and the Lisa. The drives use special high-density, double-sided floppy disks that have two oval cutouts in the jacket (see photo below). These are essential because the two disk heads, in addition to being on opposite sides of the flat magnetic media, are not pointed at each other with the magnetic media between them, as is the case in all other double-sided floppy-disk drives. Instead, a pad presses the rotating magnetic media to the disk head on the opposite side of the media as is conventionally done with single-headed floppy disks.

Each formatted disk holds 860K bytes of information at a density of 62.5 tracks per inch; together the two drives (standard on the Lisa) hold 1.72 megabytes of data. Each drive also contains a mechanism that releases the disk for removal under program control, which prevents the user from removing a floppy disk prematurely. As with other Apple products, the floppy disks rotate only when the drives are reading or writing data, thus extending the lives of both the drives and the medium.

Apple has done several things to achieve its unusually high data density. The designers used an encoding scheme that keeps a constant data density of 10,000 bits per linear inch; this allows the outer floppy-disk tracks, which have a larger circumference, to store more data than the tracks nearest the center of the disk. In addition, the disk-access system software can move the disk heads in fractions of a track width to search for and find the middle of the track. That’s an important feature when you’re reading disks with small variations in track width.

In addition, the Lisa comes with one Profile (Apple’s 5-1/4-inch Winchester-type hard disk) to the Lisa through its parallel port. It adds 5 megabytes of magnetic storage to the Lisa system, and speeds up the overall operation of the system. Additional Profiles can be added via interface cards.

The Lisa computer is never really turned off. It stores “system preferences” (things like speaker volume and video contrast) and system-configuration information inside the computer. Even when it is turned “off,” it draws enough power to keep the clock/calendar and CMOS memory containing the above information working. When it’s unplugged (for example, when it’s being moved to another location), internal batteries preserve the clock/calendar status and CMOS memory for up to 20 hours.

The Lisa includes two programmable serial ports and one parallel port as well as three expansion-board slots, each of which connects directly to the system bus and has direct memory access (DMA) capabilities. Because none of these slots is filled in any “basic” configuration of the Lisa, they are available for future expansion (unlike the IBM Personal Computer’s five slots, most or all of which are used for much-needed video-display and memory cards). Other features include a built-in speaker and a real-time clock (which can be programmed to execute tasks or turn the computer itself on or off at a given time), a microprocessor-controlled detachable Selectric-style keyboard, and a mouse.

I must thank Apple for including something I’ve wanted to see for a long time: unique serial numbers encoded into memory. The Lisa has two of these: an actual serial number disks and a given level in error is correctable by data in the next lower level. On the block level, each 512-byte block of data has a 24-byte area of hint bytes. These identify the file to which the block belongs and its block number within the file. On the file level, each file contains a header that duplicates information in the disk catalog. On the disk level, each floppy disk keeps a file of information about the status of each file on the disk. The Lisa system software automatically tries to reconstruct information that is lost, so it recovers from errors that would halt other computers.

Psychological reliability is the kind that makes an office worker secure. The Lisa floppy-disk drive is unique in this respect. On the Lisa computer, you can’t yank your floppy disk out any time you want to (if you could, you might, for example, remove the disk before files on it are updated). Instead, you press the Disk Request button beside the disk-drive slot. The software in the Lisa computer checks your work space, closes any files belonging to that disk (thus updating the file), then ejects the floppy disk so you can remove it.

A similar thing happens when you turn the Lisa “off” (actually, it’s never completely off; it just goes into a low-power mode). In any case, when you hit Off button, system software automatically closes all open files, thus transferring the information in them to their respective floppy disks, and releases the disks from the Lisa disk drives. In addition, the software records the status of the “desktop” so that, when the computer is reactivated, Lisa automatically returns it to the appearance and state it was in when the Lisa was turned “off.” Although those who have worked with computers before will find these features hard to get used to, most newcomers will be reassured by them.

The design of the Lisa application programs (which are the only things most Lisa users will see) is another example of psychological reliability. Many people have vague fears of computer programs because they think they’ll do something wrong and cause a catastrophe that will make them look foolish. This won’t happen with the Lisa system for two reasons. First, the Lisa software is designed to be very understandable. The metaphors make people comfortable with the manipulation of data, error messages are both clear and complete and tell you what alternatives you have, and, in general, the programs let you know where you stand and the consequences of a given action. Second, the Lisa computer has the “Undo Last Change” command mentioned earlier. With this command, even the most uncertain users will not hesitate to act in a way they think is appropriate. The way Lisa programs work, the user probably is right, and if he isn’t, he knows he can undo whatever happens. People who won’t trust most computer programs will trust Lisa programs.

Communications and Databases

As the engineer I talked to pointed out, no computer is going to be the most important piece of equipment in an office unless it can easily interact with other computers. This need has been integrated into the design of the Lisa system in several ways.

First, a communications program called Lisa Terminal allows the Lisa computer to emulate several popular terminals (Digital Equipment Corporation’s VT52 and VT100 terminals and Teletype Corporation’s ASR-33). The Lisa Terminal program includes all the options that a given terminal allows, even down to simulated status lights. A future Apple terminal program will enable the Lisa to emulate the IBM 3270 family of terminals.

Second, Lisa computers can be connected together via a new local network called Apple Net, which Apple hopes to promote as an industry standard because it feels that other networks have major cost or performance problems. According to Apple, Apple Net meets four criteria that it thinks are important: it can be easily installed by the user, it is highly reliable, it is easily extendable to include more nodes or to interface with other networks (like Ethernet and other Apple Net networks), and it has a low per-node (under $500) cost. A-Net has a bandwidth of 1 megabit per second, can have up to 128 nodes, uses a shielded two-conductor wire for interconnecting nodes, and can have a maximum node-to-node distance of 2200 feet. Apple Net uses the same method as Ethernet to avoid message collisions (CSMA/CD carrier-sense, multiple access with collision detection) and is compatible with the Ethernet on the top five of the seven levels of communication protocol. For those who want it, though, Apple will also make Ethernet interfaces available at a cost of about $1500 per node.

Third, Apple has distant plans to make it possible for Lisa computers to talk to non-Lisa computers and to shared or remote databases. Although the people at Apple did not discuss specific products, they told me enough to assure me that they are planning extensions in this direction that will make it even more useful.

When these items are available for the Lisa, Apple will have overcome a very big problem: really integrating the computer into the full office environment. That usually includes both local and remote computers. Whatever the needs of a given office, the above products ensure that the Lisa computer will be as useful as any other “office automation” product available from other companies.

Service

The people I talked to at Apple made it clear that, with regard to Lisa, they were going to offer better service options than any other computer company, including IBM, DEC (Digital Equipment Corporation), and Wang. A diagnostic program called Lisa Test (supplied with the Lisa) enable it to isolate the computer failure to a single board or component; in the case of severe problems (when the disk drives aren’t working, for example), a built-in test program that runs whenever the Lisa is turned on will diagnose and report on the problem. As I mentioned before, the Lisa is designed so that you can take it apart without tools (a detailed manual explains how).

Apple offers several service options. If you have on-site service (available through a joint agreement with RCA), you simply call Apple and let a service person fix the problem. For large-quantity customers, Apple can provide training to teach employees how to do in-house repairs. For individuals, Apple Care Carry-In Service is available.

In addition, Apple is planning what it calls Direct Phone Support. For a yearly fee, the user will have access to a toll-free number that is answered by a highly trained support person. Apple has high standards for this service, and I’m sure that, once the service has started and is running smoothly, Apple will deliver what it promises. The company expects its representatives to answer 90 percent of the calls received; people whose problems cannot be answered immediately will be called back when the answer is found. If equipment needs to be repaired, the Direct Phone Support person will call the appropriate repair people and dispatch working modules, so that one call will usually solve the problem. Different support-option plans available will range from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekday service to 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week call-in support. Apple also plans to provide software revisions and support through this option, although details had not been decided on at this writing.

Documentation and Training

I have seen only drafts of miscellaneous pieces of Lisa documentation, but they indicate that the final documentation will be superb. Apple plans to provide the Lisa Guide, an interactive teaching program about the Lisa system, and reference books for each application package; each reference book will begin with a short tutorial section that will get users doing useful tasks in under half an hour. Other documentation may be included, but the information was not available at the time we went to press.

Even though the Lisa is meant to be a very easy product to use, Apple will provide training to make sure that people learn how to use it. As one Apple spokesperson put it, “Training is part of the Lisa product.” Apple will offer extensive training to all Apple dealers and to selected groups from companies that make large-volume Lisa purchases. Apple will also make training kits available to multiple-unit purchasers to help them train their employees. Individual Apple dealers may offer additional special training.

Future Plans

In the microcomputer industry, products are generally announced early (sometimes before they are designed) and released in preliminary versions before all the features have been integrated into them. Apple is to be commended for resisting this practice. In fact, the company seems to have released a more complete first version of the Lisa than most companies do with their products; the first Lisa sold will be a fine machine.

However, the ambitious and talented people who designed and implemented the Lisa computer have already envisioned and planned for quite a bit more than they can implement by release date. I’m sure they have some ideas they don’t want to publicize (and rightly so), but here are some things they were willing to talk about: By 1984, Apple plans to replace its 512K-byte memory card (two of which can be fitted into the Lisa computer) with 1-megabyte cards, thus increasing the memory capacity from 1 to 2 megabytes.

As soon as possible, Apple plans to introduce versions of BASIC, Pascal, and COBOL for the Lisa. The BASIC will be compatible with Digital Equipment Corporation’s BASIC Plus (unlike IBM Personal Computer BASIC, it will be able to use the extra memory above the first 64K bytes). The first releases of these languages will be “plain vanilla” versions that don’t interact with the computer’s special features (e.g., mouse control of the cursor, windows, the “desktop” metaphor), but later versions will probably integrate these languages into the Lisa system. Another language that will be available for the Lisa computer is Smalltalk. I was pleased to see Smalltalk working on a Lisa computer a year and a half has passed since our special Smalltalk issue in August 1981, and no commercially available computer to date has used it. Smalltalk on the Lisa computer will change that. It is a very “possessive” language that directly controls the machine it is implemented on, so it will probably never be integrated into the Lisa environment but then, it doesn’t need to be.

Smalltalk is just one example of a language/operating system that can occupy the Lisa machine. The Lisa will also support Digital Research’s CP/M family of operating systems and Microsoft’s Xenix (a licensed version of Unix that includes business-related extensions). Outside developers will be encouraged to carry operating systems acrossâ€”one such possibility is Softech Microsystems’ UCSD p-system.

Apple will be making enhancements to the existing Lisa application programs. On first release, the only limitation in sharing data among Lisa application programs is that you won’t be able to “paste” graphic images into a Lisa Word text document (you can, however, add text to a Lisa Draw drawing). Bruce Daniels, one of the Lisa designers, told me that the design allows for adding graphics to a text document but that they simply can’t implement the feature in time for the first software release. It will be added by the next release.

Apple is very conscious of the fact that the success of the Lisa will be heavily influenced by the availability of good third-party software. To encourage such software, the company will make available a “programmer’s toolkit” package of software and documentation sometime this year. This toolkit will give third-party programmers all the information they need to build on the considerable utility software (window-control, disk-accessing, intelligent graphic-redrawng, and memory-management routines, for example) already available in the Lisa operating system. (The operating system itself is about half a megabyte of code, though only 200K to 300K bytes of it are resident in memory at the same time.) In addition, the toolkit will list the user-interface conventions that were used to create the existing six application pack-ages and will strongly suggest that third-party software will be better received (by both Apple and the consumer) if it follows these conventions. The Apple-generated application programs are so wonderful that most programmers will consider it an achievement to create similar software.

Caveats

I wrote this article after working with a Lisa computer for several hours and studying various Lisa documents. The application packages were completely functional, but I was told changes were still being made to them. The released versions of software may be faster because debugging aids were probably slowing down the version I saw.

Performance

The Apple Lisa was faster than I remembered a similar machine being (an experimental Xerox machine running Smalltalk) and faster than I expected it to be. Granted, a 68000 microprocessor is in the computer, but it was being asked to do a lot including the manipulation of 32K bytes of video-display memory. Objectively, I must report some delays (30 seconds, maybe) when loading in files, but these were shorter than what I usually encounter using CP/M-based business programs. In any case, I didn’t notice any delays while actually using a given program, which is where you spend most of your time, anyway. I expect that the Lisa computer you’ll see in Apple showrooms will be slightly faster than the one I saw.

Conclusions

As you can tell, I am very impressed with the Lisa. I also admire Apple for deciding to make the system with-out being unduly influenced by cost or marketing constraints. The Lisa couldn’t have been developed without such a deep commitment, and no other company I can think of could afford such a project or would be interested in doing it this way (the Lisa project reportedly cost over $50 million and used more than 200 person-years of effort!). In terms of the actual, as opposed to symbolic, effect it will have on both the microcomputer and the larger-computer market, the Lisa system is the most important development in computers in the last five years, easily outplacing IBM’s introduction of the Personal Computer in August, 1981.

As this went to press, Apple announced that the Lisa will be sold in one configuration only: the computer with 1 megabyte of RAM, two floppy-disk drives, the Profile hard disk, the six application programs (Lisa Draw, Lisa Write, Lisa Project, Lisa Calc, Lisa List, and Lisa Graph), and Lisa Test diagnostic program; the price of this package is $9995; it will be available in the U.S. this spring, and modified foreign-language versions will be available this summer.

Fortunately for us, the history of computing does not stop with the Lisa. Technology, while expensive to create, is much cheaper to distribute. Apple knows this machine is expensive and is also not unaware that most people would be incredibly interested in a similar but less expensive machine. Well see what happens.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #Apple Lisa

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megmahoneyart · 4 years

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why did you draw michael who is white as looking more remorseful and human on half his face than helen who you depict as a black woman who appears angry with both of her eyes spiraled? even despite michaels vocal insistence that he is wholly an inhuman monster and his cruel actions you draw him looking more innocent and human than a black woman who has not done anything nearly as monstrous as him and held onto her human identity more strongly?

Okay! So, I use this blog to draw and not to talk, but I’m suuuper long-winded when I write. And to spare the general public, I’ve put this answer under a read-more. But it’s a good and valid question! And I appreciate anon’s concern; I thought the question deserved as good an answer as I could give. So that answer is below:

That’s a totally valid question! I didn’t intend to convey “remorseful” so much as, upset, with Michael. Angry wasn’t necessarily what I was going for with Helen either--so it sounds like my expressions overall aren’t reading super well. Helen was meant to be more, I think enthusiastic, is the word I’m looking for.

The big difference between Helen and Michael isn’t one of them being more innocent or more guilty than the other. The difference is the amount of conflict. Helen has repeatedly brought up how much better she is at being The Distortion than Michael ever was. Michael had a lot of knowledge about the Fears, and The Spiral, in particular, before becoming The Distortion than Helen did. And, along with that, he brought the baggage of being taught that his job was to fight the fears, and the baggage of being scarred by The Spiral before working for the Institute. He kind of sucks at being The Distortion because his job was to stop The Distortion from performing The Spiral’s ritual--and that leaves both The Distortion hating Michael for fucking up its purpose, and Michael hating The Distortion because it’s the embodiment of what he hated and feared as a human. Everything Michael Distortion does is double-minded--because part of him is like “Hey I used to work here, and these guys are technically my co-workers, and I kind of want to hang out with them, but I also hate this place” and part of him is “I want to Fuck Everything Up, and I hate All of these people and would be happy to see them dead.”

Helen, on the other hand, doesn’t have the baggage of foreknowledge or hatred. She’s Michael Distortion’s victim, at first. But the second she has an opening to turn the tables, she jumps on it. And the reason she had an opening is because Michael and The Distortion were at odds and schisming and in Conflict. She’s set up in season 4 to be a kind of narrative foil for Jon--as they have both become avatars without really meaning to (like the majority of avatars that have showed up on the show). In Season 4, Jon is constantly agonizing over what exactly he is now, and futilely circling around the morality of his continued existence. Helen, in season 4, is beyond this point. She has already accepted the Way Things Are now, and she’s dealing--constantly telling Jon he needs to deal with it (the reality of being a “monster” too). By season 5, she’s not just dealing, she’s Thriving. And in seasons 4 and 5, at any opportunity, she (Helen Distortion) is always down to remind Jon (and co) that she is So Much Better at being what she is (The Distortion) than Michael ever was.

I think Helen Richardson probably had a stronger character than Michael Shelley did, as humans as well. Not saying that one was better than the other. But Helen was a successful career-woman. Michael started at the institute as a scared kid, who was then groomed by Gertrude and psychologically experimented on by Emma. I could never see Helen Richardson ever being someone Gertrude Robinson could emotionally manipulate, or convince to “sacrifice” herself.

And all of that informs how I characterize these two characters’ personalities when I draw them. And that doesn’t touch on the race issue.

Unfortunately, TMA doesn’t explicitly describe many characters’ race or ethnicity. A Lot has been said about the few negative vs positive characters who are explicitly characters of color. It’s kind of a black-and-grey-morality podcast. But on the side of the protagonists/positively-portrayed you’ve got Oliver Banks, Adelard Dekker, Basira Hussain, Mikaele Salesa. On the enemy-aligned side you’ve got Jude Perry, Tom and John Haan, Manuela Dominguez, and Annabelle Cane. And those on the positive side are pretty flawed (aside from Adelard Dekker who is an anomaly on this show); and those on the negative side usually have at least some alternate-character-interpretations and can be viewed as sympathetic (lookin at you, Annabelle). A lot of discussion has gone into their characterizations and how that relates to their respective races--and the problems therein (Jude Perry is startlingly devoid of family concerns--when culturally a large part of being a successful businesswoman would usually relate to how it benefits or affects her family; Mikaele Salesa’s setting up an Apocalypse Bunker without the crew he cared for is peak White behavior; bastard cops that are WOC (like Basira) absolutely exist--but should a story about a WOC bastard cop be written by a white guy?; the Haans being avatars for The Flesh is straight-up racist; etc).

But again, the list of characters that are explicitly characters of color is Short. And the fandom filled in some gaps. Almost all of the characters get a variety of designs, and some characters don’t have a Uniform Fanon Race (like Melanie). But some characters are almost always portrayed as a certain race (Jon is almost always portrayed as Desi or Pakistani, Georgie is almost always portrayed as black, Helen is almost always portrayed as black). I came into the show late. By the time I arrived, Desi/Pakistani Jon and black Helen were the only Jon and the only Helen I saw when I showed up. (The first sketches I did for the show, I did before seeing any fan art, and before hearing any canon descriptors. As such, Georgie would be unrecognizable to most of the fandom--because I drew her white the first time I drew her; and Martin is Too Small in my first sketches--because they were drawn before I got to episodes that described him as tall and chubby and before I saw the fantart--which gives us the Big Martin we deserve). So that’s why my Helen is black. (My Michael is white because he is physically described early in the show--and is one of the confirmed white characters).

That said, I accepted the generally-agreed-upon fan depictions of Helen (and other characters) without a whole lot of critical thought from Me. I’ve since read a lot of good takes on why Jon is depicted as Desi and why his characterization has resonated with certain Desi listeners. I haven’t read any dissertation on why Helen is black. My guess is that, where there were no canon physical descriptions (like with Taz Balance before the graphic novels), the fandom Made representation because they wanted it and because they could. Maybe there was discourse, back in the day, on why Georgie and Helen are usually depicted as black; but I didn’t see it. My (completely uninformed) guess is that people liked Georgie. And people liked Helen. And if they could make the cool lady with a great cat that is incapable of being afraid black, and if they could make the cool lady who has sharp hands and set up her house in the Institute basement for fun black, why not do it?

If you, anon, do have strong feelings that Helen shouldn’t be black and why, feel free to pass that on to me. I am Not the authority on Helen’s characterization or her appearance--especially as related to race--as I’m 1) white and 2) just another listener of the show.

If I were to start drawing Helen as white, she’d probably be unrecognizable to people that are looking through the tag for their sharp-handed wife. And I like Helen. So without additional information, I’m unlikely to change my depiction of her. But! If you (or anybody else) do have additional information, I’m happy to see/hear it, and will take any concerns raised with me into consideration.

#tma #anon #ask #characterization #race #long post #readmore

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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April 4th-April 10th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from April 4th, 2020 to April 10th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What is something you’ve improved with in regards to writing or comic creation thanks to working on your story?

carcarchu

Oh this one i can answer definitively. it's 100% lineart. forcing myself to have to do lineart for hours everyday is definitely a way to force yourself to get better at it while i still don't like it it's something that i can do now without being scared about it

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Colouring. I had to get really creative in expressing emotion and hinting plot devices with colour. Also got much better with drawing gesture drawings due to looking at a lot of references!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Either writing dialogue or drawing/painting backgrounds... I used to be particularly awful at writing dialogue. It was too stiff and formal, and sounded a lot like old prose. Now, because of writing a comic and going through several scripts, the dialogue is a lot more natural, and the pacing is more realistic to actual conversations. And the other: backgrounds. I really used to not even draw them at all, and doing a comic forced me to have to think about environments in scenes. So I went from drawing floating characters to having to consider where they are and how it affects the story/mood.(edited)

Feather J. Fern

Paneling! That was my main focus to figure out how to do good paneling to have clearer pages

Deo101 [Millennium]

Honestly? Everything. It's all gotten better and I've learned so much. I would say my biggest improvement is probably in my time management, and art wise is probably composition and layouts. But it's hard to pick because I've grown so much in every aspect!

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Biggest thing I learned was to keep the story small and focused - and that the smaller, more human struggles are much better in creating tension than the whole default "the world's gonna end!" thing. Mind you, I still love a good "world's ending" story, but you gotta make people CARE about the people in that world first!

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

ohohohoooo I have done more drawing in photoshop in this short time I have worked on Wayfinders, than the rest of my life! That has given me some skills for sure! Coloring is another one, and generally just efficiency and flow in a comic

Nutty (Court of Roses)

For me it's been my use of color, and getting more confident in experimenting with it to really drive home a scene's mood!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

The clearest improvement I always notice is my layouts - I’ve gotten more adventurous with panel shapes and placement as time has gone on, experimenting with more interesting designs for the whole page. Some of those experiments haven’t been totally successful but it always feels like a worthwhile try. I’ve gotten some really, REALLY cool layouts out of these experiments, and I love seeing how dynamic the panels have become compared to my first chapter. Also speed. I’m so much faster now. Thank gooooooodness (edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@LadyLazuli (Phantomarine) I've definitely noticed the experimental panel layouts! They're really cool.

AntiBunny

Planning. Book 2 is when I started using sketchbook thumbnails to plan ahead. The luxury of that first draft meant I could rethink panel layouts and how to best express the events happening if I first had an idea of what was happening laid out.

Also digital art by necessity since I switched to digital during the current arc. I was decent at lineart already, but other aspects have really challenged me to grow as an artist. I had to totally rethink the way I create backgrounds for instance. During this time the background quality actually declined a little while I got used to a new method, but experience has improved my skills greatly as I force myself into new methods.

DanitheCarutor

Hmmm maybe paneling, speechbubbles and backgrounds? My current project is my second real attempt at doing a comic, but I have learned a lot of stuff from the community and general art and story tutorials. Backgrounds and bubbles were the worst for me when first starting out, I only read manga before starting so the speechbubble shapes did not fit with how English is written. Plus I've only drawn wooded fantasy settings before making my comic, so using a ruler, figuring out perspective points and drawing buildings was very new to me. I still hate drawing cities and such, but I've gotten a lot better at it and it is easier to do now. Since I mostly stuck with B&W before my current project, coloring also kind of improved? Depending on who's looking at it. Lmao If I were to think about story/characters/dialogue, I have no idea if I've improved. Honestly, I don't pay much attention to the quality. Also my brain kinda says it's all bad regardless of what I make.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

For my Improvements: I'm getting better at my comic panels, as I adjust to the vertical style. Before I've always drawn the standard format. It's more than just boxes, I try to keep a variety of sizes. I'm picking up roughly how much 'gutter space' I need per 2-3 panels.etc I'm also improving on choosing colors that fits my love of detailed linework.(edited)

OH! I'm also learning about Clip studio shortcuts, how to use the assets they provide which makes the process, abit easier on me. Things I need to change, is I want to get a good speedy coloring style, without referring to my usual coloring.(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

the more I worked on the comic, the more I feel ambitious in making different angles and perspective. So it's really hitting me out of my comfort zone which is good! lol Though I'm trying to keep in mind of my speed, what I feel like I've improved a bit is trying to keep in mind of paneling and dialogue.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Process! Space and i have definitely figured out the most productive way to produce content at the rate and quality that also provides us with time for our own projects. Comics are a useful tool that helps you discover ways to better organize your creative workflow for sure!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I think probably scenery. I used to dread drawing inanimate objects but now I feel more confident in filling in a scene & even look forward to it sometimes. Maybe also page composition and paneling but I still have a lot to learn there

eli [a winged tale]

One of the reasons I embarked on the webcomic journey is to push myself to improve not only storytelling but also utilizing art to create a reader experience that would be difficult to replicate with just words. I’d like to think that 9 months into making A Winged Tale, I’ve improved on deciding when is a good opportunity to invest more into backgrounds vs character dynamics and when should be focused more on sequences of panels and composition. While the comic is written in a four panel format, more and more I’m finding areas where the story could be told by breaking those rules (attached pic). It’s a balance and I hope going forward I will improve more in pushing the limits of panels and find ways to express the story in fun and interesting ways.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Wow that's a very good description @eli [a winged tale] I look forward to reading more of your story journey

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks so much Joichi! I’m eager to keep learning~

Capitania do Azar

I'm gonna go with planning and actually getting it done. I'm so much faster because now the process is much more streamlined to me

kayotics

My whole comic was started s an exercise to just get better at comics generally so I’d probably say every part I’ve improved at? The biggest things are probably colors and the upfront planning process

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

Ooof hard question. I think my main improvement lies with page and speechballoon layouts and writing natural feeling dialouge. I'd say maybe also character acting?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I'm slowly learning how to create more engaging comic narrative. I read and research in the polished prem webcomics to see what makes them engaging? Like I'm going to challenge myself by creating a series of short stories with a reoccurring set of characters. Every new comic series I create is an experience, trial and error. Sometimes I skip the writeup and just go in blind, trust my own instincts. I'm glad to reach out and talk about it than in my own head. I hope by this year, I'll have at least 2 chapters of Hybrid Dolls out.(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I've definitely gotten better at planning/ outlining multiple chapters ahead of time. I did not even do this when I was doing the first 10 something chapters. (I did attempt an outline before I began the comic, but the story changed significantly from the outline by the time I started the comic, and I did not try to do it again for a long while.) I can't remember when I started, but I do recall having a lot of trouble the first time I tried to do it. It's gotten a little easier each time, though. In fact, I just spent the past few days outlining the next few very important chapters, de-tangling some big tangles. I'm really glad my outlining (and overall writing) skills had leveled up, because HOO boy, I don't think my 2014-2015 self could have done this!

I also became friends with enviros. I had already become somewhat comfortable drawing perspective when HoK started, but I had a sort of mechanical approach to it, like "oh I need some enviro for these establishing shots, guess I'll draw them." But now I LOVE drawing enviros! (some types anyway...) It's my comfort activity, something I treat myself to after a long day! In the thumbnails for my next few pages, there's a few enviro-heavy panels that I have to remove, because I drew too many of them (and the pacing got too slow as a result). I have to stop myself from drawing too many of these.

My biggest improvement is probably I've come to understand my characters and my themes much better, but that's more of a "I got better at making HoK" than a "I got better at making comics." There's definitely a difference between the two.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) ah I totally understand I tried the outline method before I start but my story changed alot after I drew it. So it start to feel like a waste of time for me, but I'll still write an outline to make sure to plan where my story heads(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah! I needed to draw those first few chapters to understand the direction of my own story.

The drawing part is an essential part of self-reflection, to try to understand what it is that I want out of the story. The answer has always been there in my heart, but I'm not able to see it clearly from the get-go.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I end up breaking scenes and put them in for future episodes, since I want to get a certain flow in the story.

It could be tricky to see what it is you want out of the story until you are in at least 3 chapters in?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I needed way more than 3 chapters -- though granted, my chapters are short, so that could be a part of it

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I see the early first script as testing the water. like a test to figure out the characters personalities. Unless you are bringing in old characters which you knew before?(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Even if the characters have been with you for a while, unless I have made a comic with them, there is a big chance that the characters will completely change, too.

DanitheCarutor

You know, I was thinking about about this, mostly about how I wouldn't have been happy if I was able to finish my comic the day I started. Then I realized I'm happy that I didn't. The first chapter wasn't the best, I was just learning how to coloring a comic, still fleshing out my characters and was still brainstorming small kinks in the story. I also still didn't have as much of an understanding of perspective, or panel and bubble layout. Even though I still have a lot I need to work on, I've gotten a lot better in all those aspects. Even though my use of color is weird, I've definitely gotten much more confident in it, enough so that I experiment and take a lot more risks with style. Even though my panelling can be boring, I have a much better understanding of how I want a page to look. I've improved a lot with my planning as well, like even though my thumbnailing/storyboarding only takes maybe 30, I've learned to step away for a bit if I don't like a layout, or analyzing why I don't like it and brainstorming ways to make it better. If I had magically finished the comic all at once, it would look really bad and may have been less readable.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

That is inspiring to hear about your improvement @DanitheCarutor

Natsu-no-Hikari

Chiming in! Just this week, Miko (my co-creator) and I were discussing how far we've come from when we started our first comic (https://liarsgotoparadise.com/) vs. where we are now. I think there have been a lot of learn experiences, such as art, dialogue, general editing - but especially with pacing and character interaction. We regret that we didn't stop to focus more on that interaction, as we wanted to move ahead in the story...and now we can't change that, except to start now and not allow ourselves to grow impatient. Take our time and enjoy the journey - that's our new motto. There's a time to rush ahead in perilous moments, but there's also definitely a time to catch our breaths and let the characters mingle and speak. It's an improvement that will become more noticeable going forward in Liars and our second comic as well.

#ctarchive #comic #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble #comic tea party #ctp

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elven-ariaera · 4 years

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Welcome all!

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do. Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity.

For those who are only interested in certain segments, I’ve broken the article into the following sections for you to easily maneuver your way throughout the piece: Art, cosplay, writing, and questions asked by you.

I know I’m no professional and compared to a lot of others I don’t have as outstanding an amount of followers, but if this article can help inspire at least one artist to try something new or learn something they didn’t know, well, that’s good enough for me! I hope you enjoy!

Art

When did you get into art?

I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember, but I do recall middle school in particular being the time that I really started pursuing art. I had to choose between volleyball and art club after school, and guess which one I picked. It wasn’t just academics either. My notebooks were full of fan art of mostly Link and Zelda, but you could find some Kirby, Pokémon, and Naruto scattered in there as well.

Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Yeah. It’s… Something.

What defines your artistic style?

I think the faces of the characters I draw distinguish my art. I always have a certain way of drawing the eyes, ears, and other features. I always give my females more prominent eyelashes than males as well. Certain clothing as well — The way I draw capes and hoods are distinct. Not to mention when designing my own clothes, I tend to use similar patterns.

Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I occasionally dabble outside my comfort zone. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of the “Cal-Arts” style, but I’ve tried it every now and then, especially when creating fan art for shows like Steven Universe, The Amazing World of Gumball, and Amphibia. I don’t really do it too often, but I’ve made a piece for my portfolio mimicking several art styles from a variety of different shows just to demonstrate that I can do it if I’d like to.

What levels of artistic education have you had?

Honestly, just high school. I thought I was going to college for digital illustrations but it turned out communication/graphic design was totally different. I actually got into that because I could draw when not many other people in that field could. Of course, I’m always interested in learning outside of school. I learn through watching other artists on social media, seeing how they create their work. Just watching a speed draw can help so much! The way I learn the most, however, is just by doing. Practice, practice, practice!

Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

I’ve been doing a lot of Fire Emblem doodles for my new sticker line, so here’s Setsuna. Honestly, I just like drawing bust portraits like this.

What is your favorite piece that you have done?

I can’t just pick one! I’ve drawn over 900 things since I first joined DeviantArt (and I’ve been drawing even before then), you want me to pick just one? Haha, I’ll narrow it down to three of my favorites (in no particular order):

I love this one because it was like the first cute drawing of Ivysaur I’ve ever done. Ivysaur was always a tricky pokémon for me to draw, but this was the first time I feel like I nailed it. Ivysaur also happens to be one of my absolute favorites, so that’s a plus.

This is Minerva, a Guardian from my fantasy stories. Every time I drew her prior, I could never quite get the look I wanted. This was the one that I really liked and so I colored it and am very happy with how it turned out.

I don’t know why I just love this drawing I did of Dimitri from Three Houses. I think its the eyes and hair. And the color contrast — especially in the original ink sketch (that I hung up over my craft table.) I just love it.

What is your least favorite piece that you have done?

Again, you want just one? Haha, too many failures. I’ll be fair, though, and post three of those as well.

Here’s one from my early days. I was trying so hard to get the hair all detailed like and instead it came out looking like gross looking veins. Not to mention how atrocious the proportions were. Oh man, I’m sorry past me, I know you tried.

Here’s one I was so proud of: I copied the official art for Twilight Princess and thought it came out amazing. So amazing I titled the piece “Awesomeful Link.” Yeah. Um. Nope.

Here’s a more recent one that I’m not too pleased with. I was so excited about the latest batch of Steven Universe episodes (which I would later learn were a big bunch of filler episodes and that didn’t make anything better) I drew Pearl reciting her ‘big line’ of the trailer. I tried to mix styles and I tried something different with the eyes and all in all it just came out… Meh.

What do you like most about your art?

I like the faces that I draw. They’re always the most fun and I think they come out the best. I especially love the eyes, I go into so much detail on them (even though they’re usually so small when I print them.) I’ve had issues in the past where I made all of my characters look like they had the same face, but I feel I’ve been doing a lot better at individualizing the face of each character and that makes it all the more fun as well.

What do you like least about your art?

The hands. Sometimes I draw them well, but I still struggle hard and sometimes it really shows. For chibi drawings, I don’t really care as much, but on my more “serious” art, I get a little bummed when I’ve got a wonky hand hanging off their wrists. Feet also sometimes give me a bit of trouble, but usually only when I do poses that involve more movement, which is why I sometimes make my art stiffer and I don’t like doing that either.

Have you ever considered taking commissions?

I do take commissions. In fact, I’d love to take more if it were possible.

Are you looking to pursue a career in art?

I do it part-time right now. I’m satisfied doing commissions and artist tables at local conventions. I think I’d like to pursue writing more than art, but I do love art just as well, so part-time is perfect for me.

What do you like drawing the most?

As I mentioned before, faces. I love drawing facial expressions, I feel like it’s the very core of a character. It’s the first thing I notice when I look at anyone’s art, so I always go all out on my own. I also like drawing hair and wrinkles in clothing. I used to be really obsessed with wrinkles and it would always look like my characters didn’t iron their laundry, but I’ve definitely toned it down since then, haha.

All in all, I like drawing human characters the best — or humanoid. Elves, fairies, merfolk; I love them the most. I like drawing animals too, but not as much as people.

What do you like drawing the least?

Once again my answer is hands. They are still as difficult to draw as the day I started.

Backgrounds are also not enjoyable for me to draw. It’s an important part of a piece, but I get so bored drawing anything that’s not a character — which is why you’ll probably notice in a lot of my art that I do a lot of very minimal backgrounds. I’ve been trying very hard not to just take stock photos anymore (with the exception of my Mythical Month art as they’re meant to be stickers,) and I’ve been using games like Skyrim and Breath of the Wild as inspiration with their gorgeous scenery.

Do you draw more fanart or original art? If fanart, what fandom do you draw the most of?

I post a lot more fan art than original — at least I used to, but I also think I have expanded in sharing my original art more and more with my Mythical Months/Mondays. I guess maybe I’d say about half and half.

What medium/program do you use the most in your art?

Digitally I always use Photoshop. Always. As for traditional art, I’ve been using Copic knock-offs (I’m still learning, so I’d rather not waste the money) and the Sakura Micron pens for my ink sketches. I’ve really been enjoying them, actually, it’s very therapeutic. However, no matter digitally or traditionally, I always, ALWAYS start with a pencil. I like mechanical pencils, I don’t like traditional #2 pencils anymore. The thin lead helps me keep control better.

How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

I always say I think my art is “above average.” I know it’s not bad, but I think it could always use improvement. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a place where I think my art is phenomenal, but I’m content with it, it makes me happy, and that’s all that matters.

List at least one of your “artspirations.”

My art style was greatly inspired by Naruto, Fire Emblem, and Zelda. I always liked more proper body proportions with that hint of anime inspiration. I like bigger eyes on my characters because they help convey emotion so much better, but I also don’t like the oversized baby eyes outside of the occasional chibi style. Avatar: The Last Airbender was also a great influence since the creators did exactly what I like to do and execute it wonderfully.

What do you think you could stand to improve on?

I feel like I can always improve on everything that I do in my art. There are things I’m good at, but I don’t feel like I’ve mastered anything in particular. Then there’s hands and feet again which I definitely need to work on. Lastly, motion. I want to be able to draw more fluid character motions. I’ve been working on it with my original art that I don’t post online, but hopefully I’ll start incorporating it into all my work.

Do you have a shameful art past? (recolor sprite comics, tracing art, etc.?)

Ugh, yes, YES! I admit I was so bad at first, but I also think that’s just how we learn. I used to do a lot of tracing. I started first just full-on tracing images off my computer — That’s right, I’d put the paper up to the computer and trace it like that. Then I started using bases, which was better because at least I had to draw all the details like hair and clothing by myself. Then I finally worked up the courage to stop using them completely. I’d use references, but I would force myself to figure it out by eye rather than copy it straight from the source. I’m happy to say I haven’t been tracing since my late middle school- early high school years.

Cosplay

How many years have you cosplayed?

My first cosplay was when I was fourteen, and I’m twenty-five at the time of writing this article, so eleven years now. Wow.

How did you get into cosplaying?

I honestly don’t know. I was invited to a convention where I heard people dressed up and was like “hey, I want to try that!” I guess it was because I didn’t really do Halloween as a kid and I was so deathly terrified of costumed characters as a toddler that I never took an interest until high school.

How many cosplays have you done?

That’s funny, you want me to remember how many cosplays I’ve ever done. A lot. According to my photo collection, I’ve done about 60 different cosplays (59 exactly if I’m counting correctly.)

What was your first cosplay and why did you choose it?

My first cosplay was Osaka from Azumanga Daioh in her blue summer uniform. Azumanga Daioh was my second ever manga series and my cousin and I were so obsessed with it. She even went as Yukari with me to the convention (though only, like, two people knew who we were.) Tomo is probably my favorite character, but I related personally more to Osaka, being the air-head that I am. I also didn’t have to really style my hair (because that was an era before I used wigs.)

What is your favorite cosplay you’ve done so far?

It’s a tie between my Trainee Link (Hyrule Warriors) costume and my Royal Guard Link (Zelda: Breath of the Wild) costume. Both are alternative costumes for one of my all-time favorite characters that I hand made all the really detailed pieces all from scratch. Link has always been a special character for me to cosplay, but these two are my favorites.

What is your least favorite you’ve cosplayed?

Rapunzel (Tangled). I was obsessed with her at the time which is why I wanted to cosplay her originally, but my dress was not the best and I didn’t look good as her. At least I think so. It was the only costume that made me feel insecure.

What cosplay is the most uncomfortable or troublesome?

Okay, I love this costume and character to pieces, but my gosh the struggles I go through for Pearl (Steven Universe). Blue Diamond (Steven Universe) is the worst in terms of how long it takes me to put my makeup on, but Pearl is right behind her at about 2 hours being my best time. However, the thing that makes Pearl more troublesome to wear is one thing and one thing alone: armsocks.

They look great and prevent you from having to dab makeup all over your body, but I literally couldn’t even hit the home button on my cellphone and it’s not like I could just take them off like gloves. They’re attached at your middle and putting them on is a hassle on its own. Getting your fingers into each tiny socket is so time-consuming. Now imagine this while also being coated in body paint. Plus, having white be the color of the stockings, you have to be conscious of everything you touch because it will stain and show. Because of all this, I refuse to use the restroom dressed as Pearl, and while that is “in character,” it is not healthy and totally NOT recommended you do that.

What is your most comfortable cosplay?

During the winter, Ravio (Zelda: A Link Between Worlds) for sure. It’s like wearing a giant snuggie. However, in summer, it does get hot very quickly (which is why I literally only wear biker shorts and a tank underneath if I ever do take it out on a hot day), so I only wear it in summer if I know there will be AC. Heatstroke is a real thing. Miss Frizzle (Magic School Bus) is probably the best all-year cosplay in terms of comfort. It’s just a dress, stockings, and a wig really.

But in all honesty, most of my cosplays are relatively comfortable. There’s really nothing that I’ve been so uncomfortable that it’s made my physically ill or scarred me physically. My health is important to me, and should safety should always come first.

How do you research the cosplay before you make it?

I look up lots of reference images. I need an image of the front and back, though if it’s not available, I just improvise based on the images I do have on hand. After that, I kind of just wing it.

Do you sew your cosplays yourself?

A good majority of them, yes. There are a few exceptions to this, though: My Disney princesses are all bought since I use them in performances and want them to be durable if children come and tug on the outfit. Pearl, also being a performance cosplay, I did buy as well. For her second reformation outfit (the sleeveless with the ribbon) I got specially commissioned to look and fit me just right whereas her movie/future appearance (jacket and mom-jeans) I literally found at a thrift store. I also love to find costume pieces at thrift stores. Whether I use them as is or make alterations, they make life so much easier when you make a good find for a cheap price. Leni Loud (Loud House) is probably my favorite thrift/sew hybrid. I found a base dress, altered the top and added strap sleeves, put lace around the edges, found a blingy pair of sunglasses, bought earrings and painted them, and made bows for sandals I already had. The most expensive part of that cosplay was the wig I bought from Arda (and it’s always worth it to buy from them in my opinion.)

When I make a costume completely from scratch (like Ravio, Thranduil, any of my Link cosplays) are when I really love the costume and character and want to take on a challenge and bring it to life myself. They also tend to have pieces that can’t be altered from your everyday clothing, but that just makes me work harder and learn more!

How did you learn to sew?

My grandmother taught me how. Osaka was my first cosplay, but my mom altered it from a tee shirt we found at a thrift store and a lucky skirt find. Kabuto Yakushi (Naruto) was the first cosplay I made from scratch (and I won best novice at the convention I wore it to — even with my terrible wig, haha.) She showed me how to use patterns when we made that and my Ayame Sohma cosplay, but after that, I scrapped using patterns and I basically just eyeball everything now. It’s totally not recommended, but I’m a little weirdo and just prefer to do things the way I do. Still, I wouldn’t be able to use a sewing machine if it weren’t for her. Thanks, Nanny!

Do you make your own props?

Most of them. I don’t really use props too often as I find them cumbersome to lug around a convention (which is how I thought of the Fire Emblem, Gravity Falls, and Skyrim book boxes to store your stuff and add some extra flair to a costume.) The few props I have made include Link’s sword, his trainee shield, his original shield from Zelda 1, and Soren’s Wind Tome (which I used for Laurent (Fire Emblem: Awakening) because I didn’t finish Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) yet…) Then there’s my prized cosplay prop; Victreebel for James (Pokémon). That was all thanks to my fleece hat business in high school that taught me the skills to build that thing.

I actually think the only prop I store-bought was my Hylian Shield because it was so lightweight and easy to carry, plus I was dreading doing all those details at the time. Maybe one day I’ll make it from scratch, but for now, I’m content with my store-bought.

Do you style your own wigs?

Yes. I have been improving my styling skills a lot more since I first started. It was always a more difficult task for me, but I’ve been practicing more and more. The first one that I attempted on my own was my short-haired Rapunzel. That was basically just giving it a haircut, though. My first real styling challenge was Breath of the Wild Link. It took a long time, but I actually had fun figuring out his hair.

For most of my costumes, it’s really just the bangs that need that extra pop, to which I use Got2B gel and spray. Does the trick every time and keeps everything in place. For those who are wondering, though: No, I did not style Pearl’s wig. I am not ready for that kind of gravity-defying styling. That was all E-Bay.

What skill has been most useful for making your cosplay?

Well, sewing mostly, but other skills that have come in handy for me personally have been painting, crafting, makeup, styling, and overall decorating. Probably other stuff too, just nothing more I can think of off the top of my head.

What is the hardest thing when making a cosplay?

Probably figuring out how things connect. This is the main reason I’m timid when it comes to armor. I’ve been getting better, but I’m still having trouble figuring out how everything attaches and how to put on these kinds of costumes, which is why my Skyrim Elven Armor has been put on hold.

What was the biggest screw up you’ve had making a cosplay?

I’m not sure if I had any major crisis’ when it comes to making cosplays, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of irritating mishaps and mistakes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally sewn the sleeves on a costume inside out about 4 times before I finally got it right.

I’ve cut holes in my clothing, I’ve sewn sleeves on too tight, and I’ve even completed a hat that took hours just for it to wind up being too small when I put a wig on. I guess most of the major issues I’ve had with sewing are measurement issues, so my advice to you is to always measure and try on your costume as you go. Don’t wait until the day of the con to try out your new cosplay.

How often do you injure yourself while making a cosplay?

Not too often, I occasionally prick my finger with my sewing needles, but I haven’t had too many serious injuries. I think the worst was when I slashed my thumb with the exacto-knife when making my first shield for Link. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood.

Do you try to stay cheap or do you splurge on materials?

I am a frugal soul; if I can save, I will. That’s why I thrift so much. However, on a costume I’m really passionate about, I will spend more to ensure the quality. For example, I spent a little more going to a more shimmery material for Royal Guard Link. It cost about $50 for the blue and red material, which to me, is a lot (and that was with coupons). However, the results were 100% worth it. PS, Michaels and Joann’s ALWAYS have coupons. I totally recommend downloading both apps.

I also stand by that with wigs and contacts. I love Arda, their quality is great, but they are more expensive than Amazon. Contacts I don’t mind spending more for as well since the quality is VERY important in this case; they are going on your eyes, after all.

However, as I said, I am absolutely not opposed to going cheap. If you can make it work, make it work. My Nyo!Austria (Hetalia) cosplay came out very cute and it was literally made from bedsheets. From using mostly thrifted and recycled materials, a lot of my cosplays came to around an overall price of around $30. Some of these costumes include Mega Gardevoir (Pokemon), Tomoyo Sakagami (Clannad), Spyro (Spyro the Dragon), and Luan Loud (Loud House.)

Cosplay can be totally affordable, you just have to be creative and think a little outside the box sometimes to make it work.

Have you ever cosplayed with a partner or group?

Yes, a few times. I’d love to do more group cosplays, but we all have to think of something we all like. Luckily, two of my very good friends decided they would dress up as Steven Universe and Amethyst to go with my Pearl this year for Comic-Con and it was such a great experience! I’m trying to convince them to do others as well, such as The Loud House and The Magic School Bus with me as well, haha.

Do you try to act in character?

Always: but I don’t always succeed. It really depends on the character. Pearl I could roleplay for days. It’s probably because I connect so much with her and performing as her doesn’t hurt either. Dee Dee Magno Hall says her favorite lines to say are peoples names, and after giving it a shot myself, I totally see why. I even practiced Garnets “Stronger than you” monologue in Pearl’s voice and tone (in case no one volunteered to sing during our karaoke event) and it always makes my friends laugh.

The characters that stump me a little more are the more serious characters I choose to portray; Link, Laurent, Thranduil (the Hobbit), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), just to name a few. I’m kind of a goofball/airhead so those characters clash with my personality a little bit, but I am getting better. Blue Diamond is surprisingly the easiest of these types to stay in character for.

That being said, I love being the outgoing, oddball characters. Like I said, Pearl is second nature to me, as well as Anna from Frozen. Back in my Hetalia days, Austria and America were my go-to guys. I could act as them forever, and my friends and I literally lived as them for a while with how much we role-played. Most of the Disney Princesses it’s pretty easy for me to stay in character, especially (like I said before) Anna, Sofia the First, and Merida.

How do you react to cosplayers dressed as a character from the same anime/game/etc?

If there are some good character opportunities, I will role-play on the spot, but more often than not I will ask if we could all get a picture together. There were so many fun interactions with other Steven Universe cosplayers when my friends and I did our little group, but one of my favorite interactions was probably when I was dressed as Laurent and I stumbled across a Miriel cosplayer and I just shouted out “MOM! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!”

Do you try to duplicate your character’s expressions, walk, movements, etc?

I can talk the talk (mostly), but I have more trouble walking the walk. I’ve been trying to replicate movements better, but facial expressions I have trouble with (ironic as it’s my favorite part of drawing.) I’m not as photogenic as I’d like to be, as you could probably tell by most of my pictures being the same face, but I definitely am striving to improve on that.

What was your funniest experience of acting in character?

Okay, there’s a lot that I could share, and eventually, I want to do an article solely on cosplay “in-character” experiences, but the one I HAVE to share right now is a recent experience when I was dressed as Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

I was performing at the family day event my church helps out at my pastor’s air force base as Ariel, and after my sing-a-long, my makeup was a little smudged. I asked a volunteer where the restroom was so I could touch up before I headed back out to the crowds. I thought he’d take me to a private restroom, but he brought me to the public one where there were families waiting outside. They noticed and the dad joked “See? Even princesses have to go.” to which I laughed and gave my best Ariel shrug to play along. I went inside, fixed my makeup, and went back outside.

It wasn’t long, so the family was still outside the men’s room. As I walked by, the man’s son shouted out “Ariel, congratulations on going pee-pee!” to which I bursted out laughing. Everyone was. I mean, if you gotta congratulate a princess on using the bathroom, you picked the right one! After that, I did explain that I was just putting on makeup but I appreciated his enthusiasm and thanked him for it.

Do you compete in cosplay contests?

All the time. I love them. Whether I win or lose, I always get something out of it. I learn tips from other cosplayers, get to meet so many interesting people, and those times I do win I get prizes which is always nice as well. Most importantly, though, the memories that are made there are the very best part.

Have you won anything?

I have won quite a few. I have three trophies, a medal, a few certificates, and have won a cash prize as well. My first win was my second convention as Kabuto where I won the best novice trophy. My most recent win was for Ravio in August of 2019 with best in show. It’s amazing, I never thought I would get this far, but I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been a part of.

Again, it’s totally not about winning, but I’ll admit that it does feel really nice to have my hard work appreciated. Just as drawing, I still feel like I have a lot of room for improvement in my cosplay, so winning a few contests here and there definitely helps my low self-esteem.

Do you prefer skits or walk-ons?

I’ve only ever done walk-ons. I’ve never had anyone to do a skit with and I don’t think I could pull one off on my own. I’d love to do one eventually, but for now, our panels are good enough.

How many friends have you made because of cosplay?

Quite a lot. My Instagram is full of cosplayers I’ve met at conventions and I love seeing their cosplays and drawings, it’s all so inspiring!

Do you attend photoshoots and meet-ups outside of conventions?

Occasionally. I’ve never done a professional photoshoot (though one day I’d like to,) but I have attended a few meetups. I’ve done one for Steven Universe, Once Upon a Time, Disney, and I actually accidentally walked into a Fire Emblem: Awakening one dressed as Laurent, so that worked out.

What is the funniest reaction you’ve gotten cosplaying from people outside of the community?

The best one was when I was dressed as Link and my friend and I were on the subway. There was a mom and her kid sitting across from us and she pointed to me and said to her child, “Look, an elf! You see? Santa’s got his helpers out all year round, so you have to be good!”

I also had another wonderful experience outside of a con dressed as Link, though it’s not as funny but more just a sweet memory. It’s quite a bit, but luckily I’ve already written about it for Zelda Universe so I’ll just link it here for anyone who’s interested.

Name a few cosplays you’re planning to do next:

I’ve got to get Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) done soon. I’ve been wanting to do this cosplay forever and I did start it, but I need to finally finish it. Dimitri (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) is also on my list to do next. Not sure about who else I want to do for sure, but some ideas that have floated around in my head have been Tilly Green (Big City Greens), Anna with her Frozen 2 look, Princess Peach (Super Mario), and a Thalmor Mage (Skyrim.)

What is your dream cosplay?

Princess Zelda from Twilight Princess. I’m still too scared to try to cosplay her. I bought a cheap starter costume that I was going to build off of and it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted, so I put it off again. One day I’ll feel confident enough to make her costume, but until then I’m totally satisfied with my Link cosplays.

What do you take into consideration when picking a character to cosplay?

Honestly, I just have to love them as a character and the costume itself has to seem do-able. I mean, I’m totally not opposed to buying cosplays if I really want to be a particular character, but like I said, making it means all the more to me. It’s my display of affection towards that character, the creators behind them, and the series as a whole.

Is cosplay serious business for you?

Yes and no. No because I don’t do it for money, likes, or internet fame. I do it because it’s fun and what I like to do. Yes because I go all out when I cosplay. I do everything I can to get the look the way I want it and I put my blood, sweat, and tears into it when I make them by hand.

What is your favorite thing about cosplay?

Everything: Dressing up as a character I love, roleplaying them, taking photos, just everything! I would do it more often if I could!

How do you want to grow as a cosplayer?

I want to learn how to make more. I want to build armor, I want to learn new makeup and hairstyling techniques, and so much more. I’m happy where I am, but I know I can be better. I will watch others and learn from them and push myself to try new things!

Are you willing to answer questions and help other cosplayers?

Absolutely! I may not be a top dog of cosplaying, but if I can help someone with something I’ve learned along the way, I’m more than happy to help!

Writing

When did you start writing?

I started in middle school as well, I used to write a Nintendo fan fiction called “The Kirby Show,” where Kirby and his friends would get into wacky sitcom scenarios. They were really just knock-offs of the television shows I used to watch back in the day, but hey, everyone’s gotta start somewhere.

As for my original writing, I started that more in high school. I still wrote a lot of fan fiction at that point, but I was starting to develop my own characters as well. I thought it about time to think of my own creations, and I did. I remember I was in my Godmother’s car when I thought of the main three characters and since then the cast has expanded so much, their stories are much better developed, and the lore is much more solid.

When you were a beginning writer, what did you write primarily? What do you write now, primarily? (i.e. romance, fan-fiction, poetry)

As mentioned before, I started out writing stories about characters that were not my own. Now I do all original writing — well, aside from my work at Zelda Universe. There I get to write about all the unique aspects of one of my favorite game series of all time, so there’s that as well. Writing there has helped me start writing little fandom topical posts for my own blog, such as top 10’s, reviews, and other things along those lines.

How often do you write?

I make it a habit to try and write at least a half-hour a day. If I’m really on a roll, I could write up to a few hours a day before I get burnt out. Even though I’m not always writing, I’m always developing the stories in my head.

When is your favorite time of the day to write?

I always write a half hour before I go to bed. The later it is, the more ideas keep rolling in. With my early hours for work now it’s harder to stay up late, but that doesn’t stop the ideas. I just gotta push myself a little harder to start earlier to have more time before I need to go to bed.

Do you have a writing muse? If so, who/what?

Not in particular. I always just write about what I like and incorporate different aspects of my life into it. I guess I’m my own muse in that sense? I don’t know. I just write what I do know.

What is your most popular lit piece?

Out of all my public pieces, I’d say either my “Animal Crossing Diaries” series or my “Endless Ocean” screenplay. “Vagabond” gets some decent attention as well, which is nice, but honestly, I’d be happy if there was just one person enjoying my work, so I really can’t complain.

What is the piece you are currently writing?

Out of my public blog works, “Vagabond,” from my Zelda Universe collection I’m working on a character piece on Colin from Twilight Princess.

What is the piece you most recently finished?

On my blog that would be my “Top 10 Favorite Fire Emblem Characters” list. For Zelda Universe, it’s actually a piece about Fire Emblem as well — It was DS week, I could write about whatever DS game I wanted to, of course I have to sneak in some Fire Emblem.

What piece are you most proud of?

While “Vagabond” definitely needs some more work, out of all the pieces I’ve posted publicly, that one is the one I am the proudest of. If anything just for Kurt and Maerwynn. They are two of my favorite characters to play around with and I’m so happy that somehow I was allowed to think these two up.

In my more private works, my fantasy story is my pride and joy. I feel so blessed to have been able to come up with these characters, and I do hope that someday I will be able to share them, whether on a television screen as I’ve always dreamed of in a novel of some sort. One day, maybe.

What piece are you most disappointed in?

It’s not so much disappointment, but rather I’ve grown so much in my work, it’s very hard for me to look back at my first romance story. It’s a little cheesy and the dialogue is a bit clunky, some of the actions that my characters had performed totally go against what their characters have become now after spending a lot more time with them. It’s something I would love to revisit and maybe even go public with, but it’s going to take a lot of work.

From all of your stories, who is/are your favorite character(s) and why? (try to limit it to 3)

Since I only published “Vagabond” online, I’ll stick to characters from this story in particular.

Maerwynn is definitely a favorite because she’s got a lot of qualities that I wish I was bold enough to enact myself. She speaks her mind without a care of what anyone else will think, even if it’s blatantly rude. She goes for her goals, even if they may seem ridiculous, and she pursues them with great passion and ferocity. Even with this rough and tough exterior, she’s still got a softer side that she’s just discovering in her new life at the palace. Now, I wouldn’t ever recommend being like Maerwynn ALL the time, but there’s definitely is a time and place where we could all be a little bit more like her, I think. Her confidence is the thing I admire most about her.

Kurt I connect with as well. Again, he says all the things that we all wish we could get away with at one point or another, but he knows he can because he’s royalty. However, he’s got so much going on underneath the surface as well with the complications of his past. He’s learning to open up, connect with others, and understand his feelings. Despite feeling restricted by the laws of his kingdom and the traditions of the royal family, he finds his own way to feel free and be himself.

What is the best compliment you ever got on your writing?

My best friend who I’ve been sharing these stories with for as long as we’ve known each other told me the nicest thing not to long ago. I always laugh at myself for going so crazy in-depth with the lore and characters of my fantasy world, but she told me how she’s admired that and the love and care I put into each little thing was what made it so great. It really meant the world to me to hear that and I can’t thank her enough for all the love and support throughout the years!

What is your main goal in writing?

I don’t know if there’s one main goal in particular, but I suppose if I had to pick just one, it would be to show good through the works of my characters and hope and pray that it inspires others to be like them. Kindness is growing scarce in the world, and if I can just inspire a little bit of it in someone, I suppose that’s all I can ask for.

Have you ever been published?

No, but I am aiming for it. Once I complete Vagabond, give it another revise myself, and hopefully find an editor to give it another look over, I’d love to find someone to publish my book or even self publish on a platform like Amazon. Just something to get my work out there.

Questions asked by you

Who is an artist that you look up to? There are a few artists online that I follow who I just adore their work. Three that come to mind in particular are Bianca Roman-Stumpff, Bellhenge, and TheStarfishFace. Their art is so different from mine, but I think that’s probably why I love it so much (if that makes sense?) They each have such a unique style and great subject material, I highly recommend giving them a look!

What did you think of “Frozen 2”?

I loved it. No secret that I’m a huge Frozen fan, so I was bound to like it. I was actually really nervous about how it was going to end, but I can say (without spoilers) that I am 100% satisfied with how it concluded. Also, Kristoff finally gets the spotlight that he deserves, thank you, Disney.

However, as much as I did love it, I do totally admit I do see flaws in it that could have been improved on. That being said, there was that in the first movie too and I stilled loved it. The characters have enough charm to keep the film entertaining throughout and I just adore them!

What does your family think of your art?

My parents have always encouraged me about my art and I know my grandmother loves it; I gave her a sweater with the art she liked of mine last Christmas and my mom says she wears it all the time. The rest of my family knows and supports my art as well, I never really had any issue with my small art business and the family.

Any memorable cosplay experiences at a con?

So many. I’ve shared a few before, but I think I’d like to make a whole article on the great cosplay experiences I’ve had! There are so many to talk about and stories to share.

Is there a type of art that you would like to get into? I’ve seen a lot of people doing wood carving and burning, but that looks insanely difficult.

I’ve actually been considering wood burning, haha! It does look difficult, that’s why I’ve been hesitant, but maybe in the future I’d give it a shot. I think they’d make my Skyrim wood pieces look legit.

I’m really up for trying anything. If money wasn’t a thing, I’d have tried a lot more by now. In the future, I’d love to try needlepoint as well!

Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity. Welcome all! If you're reading this, I'm assuming you're familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do.

#art #artist #ask #author #cosplay #cosplayer #Q&A #writing

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connywrites · 5 years

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flesh and blood 13

start - part [12]

Sunday was probably the best day he’d had since before the night of the apparent overdose. Seeing as the 900 was a walking recorder, it wasn’t difficult to sync it to the TV so he could see the episodes of the shows he’d missed throughout the week. With the aching sting in his back turning into constant, miserable itching, it took all the willpower he had not to pry off the wrapping and start scratching at the wounds like mad.

The morning drew into evening which faded into night through a blurry haze. The ceaseless lethargy caught up to him and he spent most of his time watching TV and sleeping, pretending there was nothing else worthwhile in the world around him. Come 6PM – his now-designated dinnertime – the android gripped him by the shoulder and moved him until he stirred. Being pulled out from his snoring slumber, Gavin let out a strange noise that stuck in his throat when he sucked in a breath, awake and aware a bit too suddenly for his body to catch up with. As soon as he recognized the RK900, his eyes were wide and he jolted back, recoiling into the couch before growing still, mentally readjusting.

“It’s time to eat,” it informed him. Smelling the scent of hot and spicy basted Asian food, he stirred from his position of being sunk into the couch cushions. Sitting up, he stood up and stretched with a long yawn before pattering over to the kitchen in the more comfortable getup of sweatpants and socks alone. When he leaned forward over the island cabinet he had in the center of his kitchen to grab his meal, he felt the contact of the other body against his, with the back of his legs and rear against its hips and soon enough, the front of its chassis was pressed against his back with long, powerful arms wrapping around him. Per usual, he stiffened in place, freezing with apprehension as he was never sure what the thing would do next, always wary.

“Carry on with your meal. Don’t mind me,” it coyly assured him, pressing lukewarm lips against his neck – right next to the bandaged wound. How, exactly, it expected him to pretend as though it wasn’t looming over him with its arms trailing around his waist was beyond him, arms growing wobbly with unease while he tried to open the container of food and struggled to thumb off the lid while his mind raced for the proper thoughts and motions. Eventually, he stabbed his fork into the strips of pulled pork and Thai veggies to shove down his throat.

The difference this time was the 900 slipping its hands under his waistband instead of beneath his shirt, one dipping into a side of the v-line curve of his groin while the other made swift work of the tied knot of string that held up his pants. Lost between two places as he felt fear combined with anticipating pleasure, it didn't take much to get a response from him as his legs bent once a hand grazed in front of his loosened sweats, almost jolting with the fight against himself not to downright pull away.

"What, they give you a sex drive too?" He sounded unimpressed, shifting his weight in the attempt not to buckle. Considering he hadn't had sex in a long enough time to forget, it made him easily oversensitive to every touch, a fact he couldn't even try to deny by the way he shifted his hips forward and his breath hitched in his throat.

"Yes," it responded blatantly enough to remind him he shouldn't be surprised, yet as a new angle he hadn't adjusted to, it cued him to scoff in disbelief.

"I must strain not to make a hardware reference with this one. I think you'll understand soon enough." There was no subtlety when he felt the bump against his rear, one he knew all too well from his own personal experience. Usually he took place in the back, however, feeling the overwhelming vulnerability all over again as the squeeze to his dick forced an unsteady sigh from him. Giving up halfway through his meal, he set it down once his stomach didn't feel so ravenous anymore.

"Fuck's sake. What are you, an Eden doll? You don't need any of that."

“Watch your language," it quipped with a quick spank across his ass, creating enough distance between them to make sure he felt the graze of its hand over the fabric of his boxers in one swift, hard motion that made him jump in place.

"The thing with humans is they like to have fun. I suppose I was no exception."

"What are you, a teenager?" The thought that there weren’t any teenage androids manufactured yet only occurred to him then, and he could only imagine why the idea might not pick up.

"I hope not. That's more legal obligations than either of us want." Before Gavin could mouth back, the firm squeeze followed by a few strokes had him all but melting in the android's arms, leaning back and feeling the burning ache throbbing in the wound on his shoulderblades from the pressure of pressing against it, tired of fighting the constant pain of the wounds.

"I didn't expect this to be so easy," it cooed, kissing under Gavin's ear, tracing lips and tongue along his jaw and down his neck before suckling a warm hickey between aorta and collarbone.

"H-hey, watch it," he demanded, but in a softer tone from obedience and distraction combined.

"I can't be going around work with that."

"Oh, it'll hide under your shirt collar. You think I would leave you susceptible to trouble when you've been doing so well?" The heat on his cheeks felt like fire; somehow, that was worse, the way this thing could keep everything it’d done to him under wraps and secret, leaving everyone to assume that their relationship was agitating, but platonic and relatively safe. For a moment, he felt like the walls were crumbling around him, but the tension between his legs kept him from focusing on it too much.

"You seem to enjoy this," it mused, another long, firm stroke causing Gavin’s knees to buckle with a gasp. There was no way he could admit to it, but he was grateful he felt like he didn't really need to speak by the way he was keening under its touch, heavy breaths soon turning into reluctant grunts and low groans. By the time he'd cum, the android sunk its sharper teeth into his neck with a predatory growl, a satisfied sigh escaping both of them as Gavin's body soon grew limp after the release. Taking advantage, the 900 shifted to pick him up in its arms and take him to bed, letting him fumble to grab his food in the process before he was lifted and carried bridal style toward his room.

"That could become a routine, if you like. Orgasms help with a variety of things, from pain to sleep, and I see you could utilize the ease of tension." Completely ignoring the words as well as the warmth radiating from his body from discomfort, Gavin shoved the last of dinner into his mouth, wincing in pain once he was rolled into bed with more care than he'd expected.

For a few moments, he stared up at the android and its faux gaze of consolation; not an expression he hadn’t seen before but probably one he could expect to see again, more times than he cared to count.

"Could've washed your hands," he murmured, finding himself more tired than usual from the drop of energy, turning on his side to adjust more comfortably into the bed.

"Don't act like you actually mind."

As usual, Gavin had woken up multiple times throughout the night, with the android taking up the space next to him whether he wanted it to or not. Every time, it pulled him close, dipping its hand into the front of his underwear and making quick work of his sexual tension; he knew what it wanted by the way it pressed its own erection against his toned ass and pulled his hips back against its own, forced to experience the way it intentionally invaded his sense of physical space until he was fully naked and it was down to the dress pants it'd worn to and from work; the only outfit it had and seemed to need. Eventually he turned to face it, being the first to lock their lips the next time as he brought his hands to run through its hair while they kissed, closing his eyes with the tilt of his head that ensured their noses didn't bump while they tangled tongues and twisted legs together. Increasing the friction until he'd climaxed again and again, the humility slowly drained from him if he didn't think about the ring of light on its head or the stiffness in its grip, losing himself in a sleepy haze and imagining the interaction being much more organic than the cold plastic beast wrapping its body around his.

Times like these, he fully appreciated that it was a secret, as his reputation would never survive the blow if anyone knew about interactions like this. Dozing off again in its arms after each round became easier and more comfortable, feeling safe and protected in its embrace despite the abuse, the knowledge it could snap his neck in a split second; then again, that might be why he felt safe, an ironic contradiction that he'd always questioned. It seemed similar to how he felt with his father as a child. One moment, they were yelling and he was smacked to the ground, but the next they'd talk over dinner and a beer like nothing had happened. Maybe that was why he was adjusting - or maybe he’d just become masochistic in favor of what he feared.

"Good morning," it offered him with a kiss to his cheek, and it disgusted him how the android treated him like a lover or an enemy depending on its apparent mood now that it had them.

"Fuck off," he murmured without thinking, only to feel a hand clenching underneath his jaw, abrupt and immediately familiar. Shit. With his head forced to turn so he was looking at the dreaded face he loathed to see, his eyes flit open as he felt more awake than any espresso mix could ever compare.

"Oh, Gavin..." Its voice held a convincing tone of disappointment.

"I thought we'd gotten past that bad habit."

"S'rry," he uttered through forcefully clenched teeth, tilting his chin up in acceptance of the touch, prompting it to loosen its grip enough to let him speak clearly.

"I wasn't thinking." That was a blatant lie, as he wanted nothing more than to repeat his actions from the night he barely remembered, envisioning blue blood spilling in sparkling streams from the machine's eyes in his mind. Every intricate, calculated behavior within the RK900 reminded him why he absolutely abhorred the artificial constructs.

Despite his halfhearted apology, it could sense his anger, casting a dismayed glare down its nose as it shifted its hand to put an index finger to his lips in a gesture for him to stay quiet. So he did.

"Suck. As if your life depended on it. For all you know, it just might."

Metal against tooth was an uncomfortable collision, and Gavin could taste cold steel and gunpowder. The nozzle slid further into his mouth, propping his jaws open awkwardly as his eyes never left the android's, visibly drained of energy with cold, distant exhaustion. The next command took a moment for him to follow through with as he hesitated before he hollowed his cheeks, wet lips curled around the barrel while he swallowed it down until he felt the end nudge against the back of his throat with most of the gun’s length out of view.

“Keep going.” Gavin flinched as he usually did while the familiar twinge of embarrassment stirred in his gut, darkening his cheeks with anxiety and humiliation once again—he couldn’t remember how many times it had put him in this kind of position by now. Still, he curled his tongue around the bottom of the barrel, sucking in a breath through his nostrils as he swallowed and tried not to grunt or moan while he the weapon was shoved down as far as it would possibly go.

Squeezing the trigger, the 900 waited for the small click to sound as Gavin flinched, squinting his eyes shut in his usual record time with tears streaming down his cheeks, nearly gagging with the noisy sobs that erupted while he tried to prepare for a bullet to fly through the back of his throat. Once he realized nothing had happened, he slowly opened his eyes to look up at 900 – who hadn’t moved, smiling with an unsettling, cocky laugh. He recognized the simulated response as one he’d have pulled in the past, an unspoken mockery of his being. It made him shudder and gag at himself with the combination of fear, agitation and self-hatred all at once. Unfortunately, it erupted an undesired response as it caused him to lurch, turning his head away while he yanked back. Within a second, there was a hand in his hair holding him in place and another deep, haunting chuckkle.

“You knew it wasn’t loaded, didn’t you?” Something between a genuine question and a taunt; that was a tone of voice the android used that Gavin already became familiar with. It didn’t make him feel any less like an incompetent fool being scolded.

“I thought it was,” he murmured, considering he was never sure what this thing was preparing to do to him next, let alone what it had touched or gotten into, behind his back or from places he couldn’t see or be around for.

“Do you think I would kill you?” Something in his mind flashed white as he wasn’t sure how to respond, only that the question roused a feeling as though he was spinning within the thought alone, images of all the deaths he’d seen in his life flashing in front of his mind at rapid speed. Gavin had been in lethal positions plenty of times, in multiple ways, but he’d never had his own life dangled in front of him on a thread like this. It was hard to hear anything through the rushing pulse and rapid breaths shaking his body as his instincts took comfort in the fact he wasn’t so close to death anymore, but his conscious mind fully feared for his life, cuing him to spring to his feet and start crawling over the bed as fast as he could.

For the time being, the RK900 merely watched. It had spent enough time cornering Gavin, but what would happen if it played cat-and-mouse, leaving him to follow where his terror-fueled, impulsive mind might drive him to, only to find himself cold and alone in the usual, repeated cycle?

Something unfamiliar stirred within it, but as it tended to do with any suspicious coding, it was quick to delete and therefor forget and discard whatever piece of unrecognizable data had wormed its way in, one way or another. So came the bearings of being a machine capable of learning, taking any external information it possibly could to store away for later; at times it simply wasn’t practical to split wires over picking apart what should be kept in its processing and what should be left behind when it didn’t understand all the commands in the first place. Such a concept might be worth paying attention to, but by now it could differentiate useful computing versus the occasional stray software getting shuffled into a place it shouldn’t, navigating RAM until all of the carefully placed pieces of information seemed ‘correct’ and ‘in order’ as to how the android’s consciousness supposedly operated. Amanda wasn’t always so easy to negotiate with, but with how much it was capable of, they were both quick to realize they would be unstoppable partners together no matter what the mission was, or what might drive them for success. She ultimately didn’t mind what it did in its leisure time as long as it got its jobs done, and with how well and hard it worked, the percentages of success had been much higher than its prototype.

There was a heavy thump as Gavin tumbled to the ground, tucking and rolling in a movement faster than he could have gone by crawling, before lunging to his feet and darting down the hall in a hustle. The android waited, leaning back in the bed until it was flat on its back, tossing the gun aside to drop onto the floor and closing its eyes in favor of drifting into rest mode. It internally preconstructed the theoretical maps Gavin would be racing along while its power cut itself into a lower portion and the internal screen went blank.

Two hours. Three. Four. Wherever Gavin went, he must have found it better than being in his own home, but if it waited too long for his return, it could be faulted for his disappearance; it couldn’t have that.

Onto its feet and outside the house, it performed a quick scan that identified Gavin’s footprints, leading the start of a long trail throughout the city as a guide to where he’d gone.

Half an hour, three buses and a taxi later, its night vision clicked on to focus and zoom in for an analysis of Gavin and his sustainability, measuring statistics over the small injuries and rapid-fire brain activity that plagued his physical as well as psychological health. There was nothing in his erratic behavior that was worthwhile to it, leaving the human and his own life to serve barely a small purpose to an ultimate goal.

Once they were through the front door, Gavin was unconscious from exhaustion, carried across town since the minute the android cared to find him. It wondered what his opinion might be when he wakes up this time, and how it might differ from the last, or how exactly the same it might remain after their intensive interactions, as unpredictability was of his nature. Anything else could be fixed. Practice made perfect, after all.

#so that got naughty #will tumblr flag it? we just dont kno #detroit: become human #dbh: gavin reed #dbh: rk900

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gasters-story · 5 years

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Chapter 27

Word Count: 1,676

Travel wouldn't resume until Gaster went back, so he didn't really worry how far he went or how long he stayed out. They probably wouldn't leave for a while since most monsters were curious about the place but also planned to rest after they're done exploring.

Gaster expected that many aquatic monsters would like this area and stay, maybe with a variety of others too. If it wasn't so damp, he may have not mind it too much. For now, he just hoped they'd at least find a less wet area that could be settled in.

Within a quick moment, Gaster saw a figure move past him and around a corner of the cave tunnels. A figure in a cape. She really did probably come then. It was undeniably her at least. Gaster did know at least the looks of quite a few monsters who were on this journey still, and he did start in the underground by helping said monsters.

He would have followed after to see what she was up to, but Gaster could hear Asgore in the distance calling for him. The curiosity was cut short as the scientist started to head back to meet his king then head back to camp. Gaster just hoped Rocksan didn't fall down somewhere since there is some steep cliffs around. If she did without help then her revival may have been a pointless attempt, at least to Gaster it would be. He didn't revive her for her to do nothing with her life before she properly passed on. She should at least use her second chance wisely.

Asgore tried asking what Gaster was up to, for wondering about randomly, but he just shrugged it off each time. Asgore just didn't bother to ask more, even if curious of what Gaster may have learned.

By the scientist's guess of the situation, Asgore had brought him back to the group early before leaving so Faster could get some rest. Not like he knew anything better to do though, so he just complied, though he didn't sleep. He at least tried at first.

Eventually they were heading off again anyways with the expected monsters staying behind, and a few unexpected ones, to settle in some places around the region. Later it would be found for the best, for the nest area was full of magma pools and dangerous terrain. The smaller amount of monsters definitely helped more with it at least. Asgore though didn't seem too much of a fan of the heat, nor did Toriel, even dubbing the area “Hotland” for it. Some monsters turned back at one point to head for cooler climates. The last monsters left were the ones who had to deal with the heat, the guards who had to deal with it, and Asgore who acted like the heat wasn't a problem.

It was a long journey with many starts and stops while tapping into their resources. Most of the stops were because monsters were concerned for Asgore’s well being. He tried to say he was fine, but their concern ended up overpowering him.

Gaster himself didn't really like the trip but the area was a warmer one and there may be something good on the other side, so he kept going. It at least seemed like a good chance of success.

Some monsters also wanted to give up halfway through, but it was too far to turn back and too many resources would be used trying to help them get back. Instead the other tried to help keep them going.

Admittedly, during their travels around the edge of Hotland, Gaster caught eye of a metal building in one section. It seemed to dig deeper into the caverns of magma, but unreachable for now. It didn't look like there was an entrance on this end anyways.

Eventually they did come to the other side of Hotland, or at least dome side that was new. The place was mostly gray, giving a neutral kind of vibe to it. Luckily, it's terrain was much easier. It wasn't long before the cavern started to become just a small tunnel and progress was stopped. The caverns glowed stronger and an invisible wall stood in the way of the exit.

Thus impassable wall was called “The Barrier”, as it goes with Ashore naming things. It made them turn back around to the neutral area, and since they had made it this far with really no where else to go, they decided to build their main home there. A castle was also set up in the way of the Barrier. With all hands on deck and an unknown amount of time passing, the process felt rather quick.

Once it was done and the monsters had proper homes, Ashore drew a blank on what to call such a dull area so monsters just dubbed it as the capital since its up with the castle. It worked at least. They moved onto civilizing Hotland as best as they could next, so it was easier to cross back to see the other monsters. This of course took longer go have happen. They would find ways to reshape the land and find materials to build structures go help when they couldn't.

Gaster would occasionally check to see how they were doing. Usually they needed no help so he just watched or recommended things. Admittedly he mostly wanted to find that metal building he saw when they were travelling. Other than that, Gaster had nothing better to do.

They did eventually report a metal structure and Ashore decided to keep monsters out until inspected properly and construction would continue as normal in Hotland. Gaster asked to lead the inspections by himself, at least until his suspicions were cleaned.

The place was dark for the most part, aside from the hole where they broke in. The magma made it weak, but the only light source. Asgore decided to offer to come along when he notice and Gaster just let him since he has fire magic so he at least could help.

It didn't take long for Gaster to recognize the place, as he expected. They wandered the lab for a while, though it was noticeable if it was a small offshoot of the lab he grew up in. The main reason it was recognizable as not the main one was in the structure and design of the interior, for none of the paths matched up to the ones Gaster remembered. Plus it was far too small. More written documents were also around here when he didn't find many at the main lab.

After a bit of passing through most of the halls in the building, down an old elevator that probably could have been dangerous, they managed to find an exit to another cave system. Asgore looked at Gaster, but the scientist just kept going. He was determined, to put it simply.

“Do you think humans will come in through the labs if they can and get to us that way, now that we're trapped?” Asgore asks, clear that a paranoia was eating at him after the war. Gaster just kept going, his face not showing worry like the other. Didn't mean he didn't have any.

“The chances are low, though not that low. If anything, besides the things on the upper part of the lab, most of the place has been emptied out and we can assume they got their important things out before we got thrown down here. It is pretty deep in the mountain after all. This is the long way.” Asgore took a moment to convince himself with Gaster's words before relaxing a bit. He made his flames glow a bit brighter so they can see more.

They came to a locked metal door, Asgore moving to pry it open. Once he managed to, he relit his flames and slowly moved them around in front of him. The place was as dark as the rest, but it didn't seem to faze Gaster as much as Asgore.

“This might be it.” The skeleton mutters to himself as he walks around, taking glances of the paths available to try matching it to his memory. He checks a few more places around before seeming to start heading for something in particular. He heads into a room and then kneels down to a jar. Giving away the location of itself easily, an orange soul glowed inside. “That'll definitely be proof enough.” He starts checking something while Asgore tries to make things out in the room.

“It's strange that they knew this was here, yet they put us in these caves anyways.” Asgore mumbles in thought before looking at Gaster. The other nodded and took a moment to give a proper response.

“There has to be a reason, even him just simply not realizing these connected, even as the same mountain. Yet, we can take the opportunity now. It will give me some resources at least.” He gets up from where he is and starts to walk off. “I have one last thing to check.” They both head out of the lab through a different exit. They walk the cavern until they can't anymore.

A barrier blocked this cave exit as much as the other, surprising Asgore a bit. He expected it to only block at least the two. “It's like we've been trapped in some kind of unbreakable bubble…” He says quietly. Gaster gives a small nod before starting to head back since he can't go forward anyways.

“In that case, I'll use these labs and this part of the barrier for proper research. Do not allow any monsters to wander in unless I say. Call it dangerous if you need a reason to give, and that I'm handling the situation on my own.” He looks back at Asgore for a response. “That should be enough.”

“Alright. I will do my best to help, so that we can move forward once again.”

“Then I shall do my best to free us from this prison for monsters.”

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[Index]

#gaster #asgore #fanstory #gaster's story #story #undertale #headcanon #chapter 27 #underground arc

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anime-scarves · 6 years

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Darling in the FranXX

So spring season is over and the summer season is starting, which means time for me to write a bit about the shows I watched to completion. Darling started off with a lot of hype because of Trigger’s association with it. The show itself is a collaboration between A-1 Pictures and Studio Trigger and I think looking at the staff in leading positions is probably a place to start when looking at this show.

Trigger was founded by Hiroyuki Imashi after he left Gainax to make Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. He had worked as a key animator on Evangelion, and later with Trigger directed TTGL, Kill la Kill, and Space Patrol Luluco among others. His name being attached to a show is basically a guarantee or it being over the top and all kinds of insane fun. However, when looking at the staff for Darling he’s only listed as “Action Storyboard.”

The director listed for Darling is Nishigori Atushi, who has a variety of character design, key animation, episode director titles, but has only been the director of The iDOLM@ASTER. im@s is a fine show, but it’s no dramatic mecha action show. This isn’t to say that the man is a poor director or that he lacks passion for animation, but I think this was an ambitious project for him and he didn’t have the expertise to make it come together.

It’s also worth noting that from what I’ve heard Trigger and A-1 butted heads a lot on production and basically produce their anime in polar opposite ways. Also after episode 14 Trigger was much less involved in the production as they started focusing on their show SSSS. Gridman that’s airing this fall.

Now that all of that is out of the way, what is Darling in the FranXX? A mess of unresolved plot lines and potential thrown to the wayside.

It started off with a bang, introducing 02 in the nude and having the robots be controlled by butt handles. If people had somehow not heard of the show going into the season, then in the first couple weeks of hype , excitement, and ridicule certainly drew a lot more watchers to the show.

The setup is pretty simple. There are mechs that are piloted by male/female pairs and they go out and fight aliens that are trying to destroy the few remaining habitable locations left on Earth. Darling wanted to go big and put a bunch of interesting and potentially exciting questions forward. How should we look at gender roles? What is a coming of age story like? What about sexuality? What is the next evolution of humanity? Is emotion a necessary trait of humans? etc. etc. Among all of those questions that are typically a singular theme of a show, Darling also tried to be homage to Gainax’s past shows as well.

Where did it all go wrong? In my opinion leading up to around the 2/3 point the show was doing pretty well and I was excited to see what the next episode was going to bring. There had been some interesting world building episodes, some solid action, a budding romance, a supporting cast that was starting to get some proper development, and so on. Then the show started to go in a direction that it hadn’t been leading up to and ultimately ended up ignoring almost everything that it had setup previously.

Hiro and 02 are the main two leads and they are naturally going to end up in a romance. 02 had a lot going on when she was introduced. Any pilot that road with her more then twice died, she wasn’t bound by the same rules that the other parasites (the pilots that Hiro is a part of) were, she had a lot of spunk and a general devil may cry attitude. Hiro is the pretty generic anime MC. I don’t think he was quite in full self insert territory, but he wasn’t far off either.

02′s driving goal was to figure out who her Darling was from her childhood. (hint, it’s Hiro) The two of them had been together as test subjects of a human experiment, and after trying to run away they had their memories partially wiped so they wouldn’t remember each other. Over the course of the show Hiro gets bits and pieces of his memory back and they end up together etc. etc. That’s what I was expecting to happen and honestly it was done alright. It’s just that after 02 and Hiro fell in love again 02′s character completely fell apart. From then on in the show she was basically overpowered waifu bait. It is entirely reasonable that when you’re reunited with the person you loved after undergoing incredible emotional trauma that you’d want to be with them. However it went too far with 02 and her only defining feature was that she was in love with Hiro. All of her character kind of melted away and she became just another person there along for the ride.

This is already a long post, so instead of going into every thing I was annoyed with it’s simpler just to say that the show developed potentially interesting ideas and then completely abandoned them towards the end. Going from a drama/action show about being human, to suddenly space aliens that have transcended the physical boundaries of their bodies and conquered most of the known universe was a decidedly poor decision. The ending itself was straight up a mess too with what was for all intents and purposes a repeat of the ending of Gunbuster complete with some everyone else on earth praying to space for the power of friendship. Sounds like a fuck up? That’s because it was. Just go watch Gunbuster.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough. Darling in the FranXX was a show with potential and it squandered it all. 5/10, the animation was pretty cool.

#text #darling in the franxx #there's more I could write #but #I think i've written enough #it would all basically be the same #just about different themes #lowkey excited for promare and gridman though #since trigger directors are doing those #we shall see though #ironically I couldn't find a gif of a particularly well animated sequence lol #the fights were done pretty well #which were the part that Imashi was part of I think #and it shows #and this isn't to bash A-1 #though I guess it pretty much is #it was an overambitious project that didn't pay off #apparently it did pretty well in japan though #parts of the show did come off as very japanese #oh well #I'm a little surprised this mostly became about 02 and the problems with her character #all the problems kind of follow the same form though #do something #undo or ignore what you did #woops #I managed to write this in less than a day too #and it didn't languish in my drafts forever

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andy-the-8th · 3 years

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September '99

Read on AO3

Part 11 of Creatures That Defy Logic

Jess at the end of the first day of high school - some things change change over the summer, some things don't. Some things come back after the summer - and some don't.

A word on characters' ages - I realize that generally you enter 9th grade at 14-15, not 13, so I've been writing most everyone with those ages in mind, Cody and Jess being the only exceptions. I figured Jess might have skipped a grade or started young, and Cody has a May birthday/they weren't really sure how old he was when they found him anyway.

"Alright everyone, one day down, 273 more to go, get on out of here."

The bell rang right as Mr. Derrick, the last-fourth-of-the-alphabet's freshman homeroom teacher, finished. Jess got up from where he was in the back row but waited til most of the room had emptied, the better to avoid the rush into the hall and down to his locker.

All in all the day hadn't really been that bad. The building itself was only a bit larger than the middle school, and that was mostly to allow for a wider variety of classes and facilities - with such a small town it wasn't like there were other middle schools that fed into one large one, so that meant it wasn't entirely full of unfamiliar faces.

Furthermore, Jess had proactively memorized the map and room designations of all the floors weeks ago - only an amateur nerd would go into new hunting grounds blind. It wasn't like all that information wasn't available in the school bulletins and freshmen incoming packets anyway.

Not that most any other incoming freshmen read the school bulletins or packets - if anything, Jess had sympathized with the more savvy upperclassmen trying to push past the awkward gaggles of freshmen cluttering the halls, craning to see room numbers, running into friends back from the summer - generally causing loud inconveniences everywhere.

Classes were just the usual first-day-of-school routines - stacks of freshly printed-out syllabi, formulaic overview lectures, excessive vaguely-condescending reminders to resist peer pressure and drugs and bullying and such, that one teacher who decided to give actual homework on the first night.

Lunch had also been a pretty standard routine. Jess had half-thought to look for Sam and Jennifer, since they'd hung out over the summer, but knew better than to try to punch above his social weight class on the first day of high school - Sam would either be sitting with the swim team, or with Jennifer and her other friends. Jess didn't want to make it awkward with either of them in front of their friend groups, and honestly wasn't that put off by sitting alone either. He'd been doing it for his whole academic life after all, minus six weeks or so.

Swimming was just as socially-prestigious a sport in Mahone Bay High as it had been in the middle school, and with their class having just won and broke records at the state championships last year, the gossip about who would be joining varsity was inescapable.

It also made the fact that Cody still wasn't there a bit more publicly-noticed than would be ideal.

Jess fortunately hadn't run into Sean at all over the summer since the almost-incident at the library. High school was big enough and busy enough that he actually didn't have to run into him at all in classes either. Definitely an improvement over last year, Jess thought.

A metallic clang on the locker next to him jarringly snapped him out of thought. He closed the door, and behind was waiting the absolute last person Jess wanted to see. Perfect timing, as always.

"Hey Jooooosh," Sean drew out the syllable in mock excitement and familiarity. As usual, he was flanked by two of the other freshmen swim team boys. Jess didn't know or care if they were the ones from the library or not, they were all too generic anyway. They could at least try to look less like his goons, standing just behind Sean, looking down at Jess as he finished zipping his backpack.

Jess looked up at Sean, willing himself to project his usual quirky sarcastic confidence. "Hey John, how was your summer?"

"It's Sean."

"And it's Jess." He put his backpack on and smiled at Sean's annoyed expression. "Sorry, I forgot."

"Ha." Sean made a mirthless sound between a laugh and a scoff. "Summer was alright for me. How about you? Been to the library recently?" It was like he was consciously trying to intimidate Jess by bringing up the memory.

"Well, it is a nerd's natural habitat, so yeah, I have." Refusing to let Sean scare him, or at least let him know he scared him, seemed to be working just fine so far. Just had to get through whatever half-demeaning conversation piece they wanted and walk away.

Sean must have been getting used to Jess's retorts, or come to expect them, or....something - at least, he didn't look at him with that same incredulous anger he had before. Still didn't look happy either.

"So where's Griffin?"

Jess shrugged, a little too performatively to seem genuinely nonchalant. "I don't know, I haven't seen him. I don't think he's in any of my classes this year. Wasn't he with the rest of the swim team at lunch?" He kept his voice even as possible, but it came out shakier than he wanted. Jess wasn't great at lying.

Sean crossed his arms - Jess couldn't tell if he believed his act or not, but wasn't particularly keen on sticking around to find out.

"No, he wasn't. Thought maybe he was hanging with you and the other weirdoes." The boys at his side both snickered a bit. "Do you think he'll show up to varsity tryouts tomorrow?"

Jess ignored the jab - that was nothing new to engage with. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Well aren't you two supposed to be friends now?" He emphasized "friends" strongly but with a whining, effeminate lilt to his voice - Jess had had time to put things together over the summer, what with learning some definitions of things, and was pretty sure he got what Sean was trying to imply about him and Cody.

At least that wasn't something Jess had to lie about. They were just friends. And Cody was with Sam, everyone knew that.

"I guess. He's been away all summer." He thought he sounded pretty convincingly ambivalent. It kind of hurt to socially distance himself from Cody, even if it was just to Sean, even if it was to protect everyone involved.

"Aww, Jessie, that's too bad. Didn't he call?" The swim team goons continued to crack up behind Sean about this. Honestly, Jess couldn't get what was supposed to be so funny, and was ready to be done.

"He was in Australia, genius, that's pretty long distance. Brush up on geography sometime, guys." A small voice in his head advised him it was a risk, but Jess turned his back to them and started walking down the hall to the exits. There were enough people still milling around that he gave it at least 70% odds they wouldn't try anything. Still, Jess knew that figure was based on middle school behavioral statistics - high schoolers allegedly had a higher tolerance for violence and other adolescent idiocy, if media was to be believed.

"Well if you see him, tell him he better not try any of that experimental pills shit at tryouts. I've told the coach to watch out for that already. If he even bothers to show his face."

Jess turned around again, now a good couple meters down the hall. Doesn't hurt to have a bit of a safe distance.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but OK." Jess worried he sounded a little nervous there. Hopefully if he noticed it, Sean would just think he was intimidated for normal, human, definitely-not-keeping-supernatural-secrets reasons. He started walking off again.

"Maybe I couldn't prove anything, but it was awful convenient how he just disappeared for the whole summer, before anyone could double check anything. Just seemed fishy."

That emphasis was a little too close to the truth to be accidental. He burned to say something back - maybe being a merman may have been a little bit of an unfair advantage, but it wasn't like Cody had tried to cheat. There was definitely no reason to talk to the coaches about him like that. Jess might not have had much of his own reputation to protect but damn he wouldn't give it a shot at protecting Cody's - but still. It was too dangerous. For once, Jess swallowed any response. He hated giving Sean the last word, but he could tell it was smartest to back out now.

Besides, for all he knew/guessed, Cody probably wouldn't be joining the swim team again anyway - maybe he would have better control of his condition when he returned, but regularly being in the water in front of watching audiences couldn't be a good idea. But Sean didn't have to know that right now.

Sean also didn't need to know that Cody wasn't just missing from school today - he hadn't come back at all.

"Hmm." Sean could have the last word but Jess would claim the last non-committal non-lexical noise. Jess made it down the hallway, surprised but relieved that Sean didn't try to start anything else. He got out front of the school, walked down the sidewalk to bike racks all the way at the far end from the door, where he'd claimed one of the last spots. He put his helmet on and kicked off, past the lines of cars in the parking lot.

Jess had consciously focused on school as much as possible all day not just out of his usual studiousness, but also to keep his mind off of worrying where Cody might be.

Maybe it was just a mistake. They probably didn't have calendars underwater, and they definitely didn't get the school bulletins. Maybe he was just a few days off.

Maybe Cody was already at home but didn't feel up to coming in so soon. Maybe he was still having trouble controlling his powers.

Maybe he was at school today, and Jess just happened to miss him.

Maybe he was back but he didn't want to see him.

Anxiety getting the better of him, Jess steered out of the school driveway, making the turn toward the Griffins' house.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sean punched the locker wall in frustration.

"Dude, what is your issue. If he doesn't show that's only better for you, right?"

Caleb had a point - he really shouldn't care this much. High school was different, new rules, new competitions.

"Yeah, whatever. He just better not have any fucking fins if he does."

If Griffin had taken the state title from him fairly, he wouldn't care that much. They had been friends after all, even if they were rivals. But you could only be friends with an equal rival - not some cheating freak.

Especially not some cheating freak who blows you off for some gay little nerd.

"C'mon man, let it go, it's starting to make you look bad. Kid acted like he was barely even scared of you this time." If Kevin was trying to get him to lighten up, that was definitely not the right tack. One thing that always set Sean off was being shown up, in any competition or confrontation. He had to make sure everyone knew he was on top, he was in control.

"Seriously dude, I don't think he had fins. Sure, maybe he took 'roids, or snuck some kind of secret armgear in somehow. But fins are a little far-fetched."

It did sound stupid when phrased like that. "Yeah, you're right."

They started walking down the hall towards the exits. Caleb and Kevin continued talking about varsity tryouts coming the next day, not particularly concerned about whether Griffin was going to turn up past backing up Sean's personal issue with it.

Must be pretty simple when you're only competing for 6th place all the time.

Not that he'd ever say that to them. They were decent swimmers, but they didn't get Sean's mindset of having to be the best.

Dealing with his first-ever silver at the state championships would have been hard enough. Whatever the hell Cody had pulled just made it all the more infuriating, because he should have the gold, if only he'd caught him running off to wherever he went. Being too slow twice in one day had been gnawing at his pride all summer.

And where the hell was he anyway? Sam had consistently blown him off when he'd tried to ask, just the same vague bullshit about his aunt in Australia. Didn't respond to any calls all summer. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen her hang with any of the swim team at all over the summer. Always off with Jen and the rest of them. She wouldn't even say where she was supposedly working (though that was probably just another excuse to ignore people).

Sean decided to push the anxiety about the tryouts out of his head. He'd done all he could by warning the coaches; even though he could tell that they thought he was just being paranoid and competitive, they took drug doping more seriously in high school - if Griffin showed up and tried to cheat again, it'd be like shooting fish in a barrel. Sean half hoped he would - if he were lucky, maybe that would be enough to overturn the state championship records.

And if he didn't show up, then there wasn't any need to worry at all. Can't beat him if he's not even there.

Caleb and Kevin had drifted to social topics as they wound their way down the sidewalks alongside the school building, and Sean eased back into the conversation, out of his own head, once there was a pause.

"So you thought Jess wasn't afraid of me this time?"

"Nah man, but he's like always been kind of weird like that. Like, remember when he got between you and Griffin? Acted like he wanted to get beat up instead?"

God that kid was just fucking strange. Sean had never really had to think about Jess before he and Cody had suddenly become all friendly after that biology project. Or probably more that Jess was following him around, and Griffin was too much of a pushover to get rid of him.

Caleb nodded. "Yeah he's a freak, but it seems like he doesn't get scared as easily as you'd think."

Sean sneered satisfactorily. "Maybe we should fix that next time."

#the thirteenth year #dcom #disney channel original movies #fanfic #merpeople

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inkabelledesigns · 6 years

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A Toast to a New Dream

So I’m sitting in my kitchen drinking some tea and painting my nails. I’m almost done packing for the big trip tomorrow. My family is headed to see the rest of our relatives in a big family Christmas party, our big tradition right before New Years. I’ll be driving back on New Year’s Day, but even though I’ll have my computer with me, I feel the need to say this now while I have the spirit of it in me. Just a little musing on this year.

This year kind of sucked. There’s been a lot of struggles with asshole professors, inconsiderate students in colleges, breaking it off with my boyfriend in March, my father’s cancer returning and becoming likely to kill him in the next year, and my art having taken several hits and falling apart. It’s bizarre for me to not want to draw, but I’ve felt drained after doing nothing. Everything feels uncertain and scary right now. And for a long time, I’ve been alone, incredibly alone. It’s not a good feeling.

But for all the bad that’s happened, there’s been some good too. I got to fulfill a few dreams, like photographing fireworks over Cinderella’s Castle at the beginning of this year. After two awful match-ups, I now have the most wonderful roommate in the universe, someone who’s encouraged me to embrace my inner fangirl and be free to love the things I love. Geeking out over things with her is amazing, and god, I needed it. @exbarbiegirl Thank you for lighting up my life, love you to pieces. And for the first time in my life, I had a surprise party thrown for me for my birthday. I’ve never had friends who have done that before, and I think I cried a little. A ton of my friends from home have moved away, but we’ve gotten closer over Skype, and I made two of them so happy with mailing some cookies I baked this Christmas. I’ve been asked to voice in a fan game called Sonic: Shattered Realities as of this past summer, which has been a dream of mine for a long time. That project, along with Sonic Mania and Sonic Forces has renewed my love for the series, and I’ve gotten better about staying away from the petty bickering in the fandom.

And on top of that, while I’m still not into the horror genre, Bendy and the Ink Machine came into my life, and that’s been a blast too. I think this in particular is notable for a variety of reasons. I’m not a quitter by any means, but in this semester, I began to wonder if maybe I’d made the wrong decision when it came to being a graphic designer. But Bendy has a takeaway from it that I needed to hear, and it’s changed my mind. There will ALWAYS be a Joey Drew that tries to take advantage of you, no matter who you are, but you can’t let one person control your life. On the other side of the coin, meeting someone you never expected to meet can change the course of your life, and the amazing people I’ve met in this fandom never fail to put a smile on my face.

In particular, a huge thank you to @devilsroost . Jess, you and everyone in the Discord server are amazing people, and it’s so wonderful to have met you all. No one parties like the Roost!

And how could I forget @nyrandrea, @mythmica, @star-going-supernova, and @shinyzango? All of you inspire me, and I look forward to seeing what you post every time I log on. You do what you love, that’s something to celebrate, and I’m glad I learned of your existences at the tail end of this year. I’ve learned a lot from enjoying your content, be it about storytelling, art, or comedy, it’s all valuable and I hold it close to my heart. But there’s one person that stands out, who’s probably gonna be broken after I’ve said this. You probably saw this coming @themarginalartist, there’s not a day that passes where I don’t want to compliment you. Where do I even begin? I wouldn’t be back to roleplaying or writing if not for you, and as I tell it to most people when the subject comes up, drowning in ink ended up setting me free. You are an inspiring human being. I’ve learned so much about a ton of things from you, be it talking to you, watching your livestreams, or just reading and weeping a little at the precious amounts of angst. You give me a reason to believe that nothing is impossible, and with enough belief (and more importantly, effort), we’re more than just sheep.

So even if things didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, I’m still glad I did more than just survive 2017. It’s been an adventure, and starting in a few days, a new one is about to begin, and I’m gonna tackle it with a sketchbook in hand. In the words of Gomez in The Addams Family Musical “Let’s live before we die, let’s laugh before we cry, let’s hold each other tight, and dance.” I’m determined to make it the best year ever, both for myself and for my family. My dad’s always said to live life to the fullest, and with him dying, I need to embrace that notion, now more than ever. I’m gonna do my best for both of us and start working on some dreams. Because after all, dreams can come true, but only if you work hard, and smart, to do it.

So to all of you lovely folks, thank you for giving me something to look forward to at the end of my day. I never expected to find so much joy here on Tumblr, but it makes me glad to have met you. Here’s wishing you and your loved ones the best in 2018!

#batim #new year #a new dream #kat alyst

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robotnik-mun · 7 years

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Robotnik Art Historia- Part One: The Early Days

Hey there folks! A while back, I made a post detailing the stylistic evolution of Archie Sonic artist icon Patrick Spaziante regarding his particular depiction of Robotnik. It went over a lot better than expected, and since that time I’ve been mulling over doing something of a sequel- and that time is now.

Initially intended to be a single massive post detailing the history of Robotnik’s artistic depiction in the Archie books, it became clear that the sheer number of artists who had drawn the doc could not be contained to one post, and so, this will be a five part series celebrating the sheer variety of styles that were used back in the day, while analyzing the little details each artist would add to distinguish THEIR Robotnik. Why? Because one of the things I did like about the old days, even though it meant a lot of inconsistency and quality issues, was the fact that there were so many different artists able to put their own spin on things. While the streamlining of the art since the time Flynn came on board has ultimately been for the best, a part of me misses the variety that was present in those days, and so, I made this Art Historia series in order to examine and celebrate that variety.

We open with the beginnings of the book- a bygone era wherein the tone of the book took more direction from the VERY goofy Adventures series, in a stark contrast to the Saturday Morning show it was intended to tie into. Many of the artists on this list would become the earliest regulars on the book, serving as trailblazers to those who would come after and becoming Sonic icons in their own right.

1. Scott Shaw!

Scott Shaw! (exclamation point intended) is noteworthy for being the very first artist to draw for the Archie Sonic series, illustrating the miniseries that would go on to become the Archie series proper, and as such, the very first to draw Robotnik. A veteran of Hanna Barbera and DC (where he created Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew), Scott Shaw had an affinity for the ‘Funny Animal’ style that was more than appropriate for Sonic in those very early days of the franchise, especially given the ‘gag-a-day’ nature of the book at that point. His depiction of Robotnik would be spot on for the SatAM design, though it would take the colorist a bit of time to remember that Robotnik has red-on-black eyes.

2. Dave Manak

In the earliest days of the book, Dave Manak served as the primary artist, and stayed on board for a veeery long time. Manak’s art direction was fitting enough given the heavy emphasis on comedy in those days, and his work seemed heavily derived from Scott Shaw’s own style. Such was the case for his Robotnik, who for the most part was rather show accurate... most of the time. Manak could be very inconsistent a lot of the time, often making Robotnik’s forehead and nose larger or smaller panel by panel. One noteworthy thing about Manak’s Robotnik was the mustache- he tended to draw it way, way longer than the show’s design, as shown here. Guy really liked the ‘stache, I guess.

Manak wasn’t the best of artists, but he wasn’t horrible either, and for what the book was during the time he was most prolific? He was as good a choice as any at the time.

3. Art Mawhinney

The Archie Sonic comic wasn’t Art Mawhinney’s first encounter with Sonic- prior to coming on board, he had served as a storyboard artist for SatAM as well as doing tie-in work for some of the Sonic books released at that time. Mawhinney’s style at the time was an easy fit for the book, with his storybook-esque style lending itself well to humorous and more serious stories- some of the most emotionally touching moments in the book were thanks to him, and his style played a big part in that. Unfortunately, Mawhinney would prove unable to adjust to the times and to Sonic’s post-Adventure design, and despite being one of the best regarded artists of the Pre-Adventure era, he simply no longer fit in after a certain point.

Mawhinney’s Robotnik was very well done, naturally, though due to his style had a soft, almost cuddly look to him- though make no mistake, Mawhinney could make him pull off the menace when needed. Interestingly, Mawhinney tended to draw Robotnik as having irises, a stylistic choice evocative of the AosTH incarnation of Robotnik.

4. Patrick Spaziante

Honestly, I’ve already said a lot about Spaz’s Robotnik. Heck, he’s the reason for this entire list! But, I may as well say a bit more. Patrick “Spaz” Spaziante (a nickname that would probably be a little less well received these days...) was probably the first true Sonic Comic superstar- his kinetic, anime-esque art style breathed a new life into the book. Getting his start as an interior artist, Spaz would truly cement his place in the Archie book for his work in the Mecha Madness and the iconic final fight between Robotnik and Sonic in Endgame, and for his dazzling cover art both in the Sonic series AND the Knuckles series, as well as being a conceptual artist for the book. He would persist as a Sonic cover artist for many years, and move on to do work for the Archie Megaman Comics and even work for SEGA themselves.

His Robotnik changed and evolved drastically over the course of the book- starting out as kind of squashed, puffy and cartoony, Spaz would gradually add greater detailing and dial back the tooniness of the design until concocting a truly menacing Robotnik... just in time for Robotnik to be killed off, of course. Ah well, bottom line? Spaz was one of the greats, and the book probably wouldn’t have gotten where it was without his work in those days.

5. Ken Penders

Hoo boy, you knew that sooner or later we’d be getting to this guy. We all know the story- Penders came on board as a writer at the behest of his friend Mike Kantevorich due to the fact that his son was a fan of the Sonic series, and would gradually steer the series away from the humor focus towards more plot focused, story driven work, and most famously would write the Knuckles series, with much of his work forming the basis for the Archie Sonic world... as well as being the origin of many of the quality problems the book would suffer from later down the road. In addition to being a writer, he also did artwork from time to time, much of it... well, catastrophic. Easily the least suited artist for the book’s early days, Penders was accustomed to drawing realistic humans and just could not adjust to the more cartoony style demanded by the book, and in all his time spent he working on Sonic he would never truly manage to really master the kind of style you’d expect for a Sonic book. This definitely showed through with his take on Robotnik, with his bulbose nose, oversized and oddly placed eyes and the weirdly 2-D looking mustache. Ironically, Penders only drew Robotnik a few times over his entire decade long career on the book.

Curiously, Penders had an odd tendency to draw Robotnik as having rectangle shaped pupils. Why he did this I have no idea, but I have a feeling that the fact that his ‘original villain’ Dr. Droid would demonstrate similarly square sclera down the road was meant to serve as foreshadowing to his nature as a counterpart/successor to the doc... yeeeeeah.

And so concludes our first installment! Join us tomorrow as we delve into the artists brought on board as the comic marched towards Endgame, an event that would change the comic forever!

#Sonic the Hedgehog #Archie #Robotnik Art Historia

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blogintheblacklines · 7 years

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What She Said Wednesday - Tiara Dobbs

In anticipation of this year’s vivid festival I sat down with Tiara Dobbs to chat about one of the new frontiers of the built environment - the digital revolution.*

What drew you to work in the built environment?

I think what drew me the most was its opportunity to play with different technologies. The built environment isn't just physical construction anymore. Now-a-days the built environment has its foot in the door of gaming and visualization tools, digital fabrication and construction, experimental modelling and computational design methods. It really doesn’t have to be construction at all, it could be graphic design, web based design, you really have a lot of scope when it comes to directions you want to follow. For me I followed architecture at first, but it wasn’t the same story for everyone else in my degree; some people become game developers or visualization people, virtual reality, augmented reality, a whole bunch of things.

So what do you do at the moment in the built environment?

Well officially I can call myself a computational designer, but in all honesty I really consider myself more as a hack then anything else. I don't mean the hack that breaks into your data base or sends you some scam through your email... but give me a few years. What I meant by a hack is that I utilize existing technologies and modify them how I like to serve a purpose. In my degree we are taught a whole variety of different design techniques. However we aren’t taught how to use these techniques in great depth, we are taught how to learn these techniques for ourselves. This is because there is always a danger with learning something too well. If that tools becomes redundant and your life's work is based off that tool, you too become redundant. The key to being a hack is to know enough about everything and then use specific aspects of different technologies to achieve your goals.

Unless you have the capacity to keep on learning, you are at a major disadvantage. What I mean by this is, technology is constantly updating all the time, with new gadgets and gizmo's coming out every week. As a technology person, it's important to learn how to use these products fast to stay competitive. At the same time don't get too attached because the better version will probably get pumped out next week.

When I am given a design brief, my first reaction isn't necessarily to start sketching. My first reaction is to see what is out there that might fall into the same category as what my brief asks. That way I don't make the mistake of reinventing the wheel and I have some strong president material that I can use to credit or discredit certain design decisions during the project. I am not out to copy anything. That’s not my intention for doing some research first. I try and look at design brief as a series of parameters that need to be met, and what resources I need to make it happen. When I find something that can input into the design, I hack at it till it somehow works, and in the case it doesn't, I hack some more.

So you have done some work with vivid?

The first time I did vivid I was involved with an installation with a tutor from university – Rebekah Araullo, and I was lucky to be made part of the team very quickly. She taught me a lot about digital fabrication and interactivity medias.

Through vivid, you can establish a different way of communicating with the inhabitants of the city, rather than just the traditional client interface, we had the chance to inspire the occupants through lighting and digital medias, not just through form.

I have been very privileged to be a part of vivid, and be a part of Sydney architecture festival, but I think the lesson I learnt the most from those projects is not looking at design or the landscape of the city as some sort of consequence of necessity. We can't just focus on infrastructure to get from A to B anymore. We are looking at things for a perspective of how can you make things more alive? More playful? How can we inspire people? How can we entertain them? How can you make things fun?

Do you feel like the work you do has a role to play in the relationship between people and buildings?

I'm not sure yet how I fall in the melting pot of design processes, but what I do know is that our current design process needs to change if we are going to have any chance of answering that question. I don’t think architecture is something which has to be static anymore, nor should it be.

If someone creates a building, and then says goodbye, that’s not being sensitive to the needs of the future inhabitants. What was useful for a space 5 years ago, might not be very useful now. That’s where a lot of these activity based work environments are trying really hard to fill that gap, but we aren’t really sure if it's working because our observation techniques are kind a outdated (person with a clip board and pen isn't really going to cut it).

So without useful/ cheap methods of testing buildings, designers make these assumptions about how a person should relate with a building because we don't really have anything else to use, or we don’t know how to use it. For example, the assumption that people are super digital now and we need to accommodate for this behavior in any means necessary is kind of generalizing but we see it everywhere. Accommodating for people's need to document every second of their life on social media, or to communicate with their friends in real-time isn't something we should be jumping to do just yet. Maybe we need to tone this whole social media communication thingy down a bit and have some real human face-to-face interaction once in a while. All I know is I see clients and contractors talking over email back and forth all the time for two weeks to solve a problem that should have taken 5 minutes over the phone or a beer at the pub.

Do you think architects are missing opportunities on that front?

Definitely. I think our whole priority system needs reshuffling to be honest. And I don't think it's just architects. Our communication isn't all that good yet, at least digitally. A lot of people are obsessed with the sexy stuff like drone technology or doing some impressive façade on a building in Sydney CBD but have you ever thought how long does it take to get your teeth fixed or how annoying it is to catch public transport with a surf board in one hand? And why aren't we doing more interesting stuff with trash cans, or old letter box's, bus stops and roads? Get inventing guys! We are missing out on great opportunities to experiment, not just through materials, but through lighting, through sound, visual effects anything you can get your hands on. That’s all part of architecture now. If designers aren’t even considering using that stuff, then I think they are on the wrong side of history.

*this interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

#whatshesaidwednesday womeninbenv womeninstem vivid sydney

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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THE FOUNDER CONTROL

Applications for the current funding cycle closed on October 17, well after the markets tanked, and even so we got a record number, up 40% from the same cycle a year before. Viaweb's hackers were all extremely risk-averse. You could just go out and hire 8 people as soon as some big company, they were willing to move to another country to do it is to establish a rival to Silicon Valley to compete with. So saying startups should move to Silicon Valley to compete with. Should your valuation be? Are there walkable neighborhoods? And paying attention is more important to reliability than moving slowly. When you're drinking through a straw, you can tell them that number. Because it's a more legitimate-sounding way of saying that your idea is to make fun of it. And no one can tell you what language to use, at least, effectively donated the wealth they created. One of the most ad hoc parts of any system.

It seems reasonable to assume Bill Clinton has the best technology. The Defense Department is encouraging developers to use Java. When does it have to be profitable, raise more money. So on average such a hacker must be able to look at what you've done in the cold light of morning, and see all the different things people have said about good taste have generally been such nonsense. Once you've seen enough examples of specific types of tricks, you start to get higher. It probably extends to any kind of creative work.1 If companies started doing that, they'd find some surprises. The engineers build a reliable gadget with all kinds of new features; the industrial designers design a beautiful case for it; and then the marketing people are telling the designers, Most people who buy SUVs do it to seem manly, not to drive off-road.

Inexpensive processors have eaten the workstation market you rarely even hear the word now and are most of the money you need. Countries worried about their competitiveness are right to be concerned about the number of simultaneous users you can be lost or stolen. This connection adds more brittleness than strength, however: people don't watch what's on at 10 because that delivers viewers for local news at 11. If you found people who'd never seen an image of it and sent them to a museum in which it was hanging among other paintings with a tag labelling it as a practical suggestion, but more as an exploration of the lower bound of what it would take at least half a million. All humans find faces engaging—practically by definition: face recognition is in our DNA. Anything that gets you those 10,000 users. Whatever a committee decides tends to stay that way, you tend to get a work visa in the US own one.

Simula is an object. This is the type of abuse we may be able to tell investors something like: we can make it to ramen profitability before Demo Day. But a very able person who does care about money, or go out of business. This didn't merely make them less productive. In fact, what I like about this idea is all the different things people have said about good taste have generally been such nonsense. But since investor meetings have to be small? So whether or not a language has to have worked.

We also see signs of a separation between founders and investors, and they could not master it. I think TV companies will increasingly face direct ones. The average programmer seems to produce UI designs that are almost willfully bad. And though constraining, Don't be evil. But startups aren't tied to VC the way they make a living, it would create a self-sustaining chain reaction. Real standards don't have to send it to them from a local source. The reason is that employees no longer trust companies to deliver deferred rewards: why work to accumulate deferred rewards at a company that uses Web-based and desktop software is that you won't be able to sustain. In fact it's the old model: mainframe applications are all server-based applications. Modula: Pascal is too wimpy for systems programming. This essay is about only one of them.

They just can't do it, run out of money, and the customers would be individual people that you need to in which case you should give the same terms to investors who reject you are some of your warmest leads for future fundraising. Their instincts got them this far will now be working against them. The optimal solution is to talk to you about investing. Don't be evil.2 They may say they just want to meet to raise your next one, because the locations of mines and factories were determined by features like rivers, harbors, and sources of raw materials.3 If server-based applications will actually do backups—not only because they'll have real system administrators worrying about such things, but variable capture is exactly what Cezanne and Klee did. I claim hacking and painting are also related, in the sense of beating the system, not breaking into computers. Although YC is based on the idea of going on the medical equivalent of what lawyers call a fishing expedition, where you are. Surely at some point.

Don't worry about us. The first thing to understand about valuation is that you won't be able to say to investors We'll succeed no matter what, but raising money will help us do it faster. That's how Silicon Valley happened. But all art has to work on both will be browsing the Web, and it seems to consume all your attention. As I've written elsewhere, by using ourselves as guinea pigs.4 They were the kind of intelligence that produces ideas with just the right level of craziness. And when all the companies that won't use patents on startups. This turned out to be false, and I'm claiming you could be 36 times more productive than you're expected to be in a situation with a large percentage of school.5 And it would get easier over time, because the bigger your ambition, the longer it's going to take, and the customers would be individual people that you need to start small. Even if you could read the minds of the consumers, you'd find these factors were all blurred together. Of course, the test you use to measure performance must be a hacker's language, like the temporary buildings built at so many American universities during World War II and, for that matter, how much is due to the creators of past gadgets that gave the company a reputation for being valuation sensitive and can postpone dealing with them till last, but occasionally one you didn't know about will pop up early on.6 Disk crashes won't be a thing of the past, but users won't hear about them anymore.

The book should be thin, well-written, and full of good examples to learn from a farmer friend that many electrified fences don't have any current running through them.7 Actually, startup ideas are worthless. The stories about sleeping under desks usually end: then at last we shipped it and we all went home and slept for a week.8 That kind of switch often takes people by surprise. By the standards of the rest of the conversation depends on the first ten employees. Intros vary greatly in this respect, and a lot of protocols for doing things.9 You may save him from referring to variables in another package, but you don't have that feeling that your life is flying by like you do in the design of the program benefits from evolution. But getting bought is getting them to act. Use difficulty as a guide not just in some metaphorical way.10 When you own a beat-up old car.

Notes

In a country richer; if you want to impress are not mutually exclusive. What I dislike is editing done after the Physics in the chaos anyway. Which is precisely my point.

This sentence originally read GMail is painfully slow.

5%. I was surprised to find users to observe—e. We didn't try because they believe they have a competent startup lawyer handle the deal for the manager, which usually revealed more than half of the clumps of smart people are like, etc, and I had a day job, or it would not produce a viable organism. Founders are often unknowns.

And though they have because they believe they do. Don't invest so much worse than close supervision by someone else to lend to, but as a single VC investment that began with an excessively large share of a problem, if you're measuring usage you need to warn readers about, just try to establish a silicon valley out of a more powerful sororities at your school sucks, where it was very much better to read stories.

Which means it's all the returns come from meditating in an era of such high taxes during the Bubble a lot of investors. The tipping point for me, I can't refer a startup than it would literally take forever in the sense of getting too high a valuation. Founders weren't celebrated in the 70s never drew this curve.

We have no trouble getting hired by these companies unless your last funding round usually reflects some other contribution by the size of the scholar. And startups that has a similar logic, one variant of Reid Hoffman's principle that declarations except those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to spend on trade goods to make money.

This form of religious wars or undergraduate textbooks so determinedly neutral that they're starting petitions to save the old car they had to ask, if an employer, I asked some founders who'd taken series A termsheet with a degree, to sell things to the company's expense by selling recordings. The banks now had to bounce back. What he meant, I suspect. Russell was still saying the same investor invests in successive rounds, except that no one on the order of 10,000 of each token, as far as such things can be done at a time.

They hoped they were getting results.

The best kind of people like Jessica is not pagerank commercialized. And in World War II was in a wide variety of situations, but there has to be self-interest explains much of the work that seems formidable from the other.

The examples in this respect. Fortuna!

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Reid Hoffman, Trevor Blackwell, Steve Huffman, Sam Altman, and Rich Draves for their feedback on these thoughts.

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churchintheborderlands-blog · 5 years

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Ministry with Undocumented Unaccompanied Migrant Children

Borders divide and separate people – assigning – usually – a more privileged space on one side and a less privileged space on the other. Throughout human history . . . people have drawn lines in the sand to tell others, “You can come this far, no farther.” Sometimes the lines are drawn by the weak in an attempt to protect themselves, but more often they are defined by the strong in order to guarantee themselves a greater measure of resources and power.

-- Jerry H Gill, Borderlands Theology

In 2016, I served as volunteer Protestant chaplain at the Tucson Southwest Key detention center for undocumented and unaccompanied minors. My ‘pastorate” consisted of a congregation of approximately 300-350 transient children under 18 from the most impoverished, corrupt, and violent countries of Central America. Following is a chapter from my Doctoral thesis, Being church in the Borderlands. (2018, Drew Theological School)

Southwest Key Detention Center for Unaccompanied and Undocumented Minors

In the spring of 2016, I was contacted by the Southwest Key detention facility in Tucson about providing Protestant23 worship services in Spanish for the undocumented, unaccompanied minor children seeking asylum who were flooding the U.S.-Mexico border, some of whom were in protective detention in Tucson. Southwest Key is a private, non-profit organization contracted by the Department of Homeland Security to provide a safe detention setting for children from birth to 17 years old. According to their website, “Southwest Key empowers youth and their families to make positive changes in their lives including at our 27 immigrant children's shelters in Texas, Arizona and California,” with 20,000 unaccompanied minors under the age of 18 in custody in their facilities at any given time.24 Later in 2016, another detention facility that would house 1,000 children was built in the state of Texas to respond to the ever-increasing numbers of unaccompanied children from Central America. The Southwest Key facility in Tucson was designed to house up to 287 children.25 At the end of 2016, the number of children from the Northern Triangle of Central America participating in the Protestant service exceeded capacity.

Every Wednesday I gathered up my clergy stole, MP3 recordings of praise music in Spanish, and copies of lectionary readings and words to the songs and traveled the 30 minutes from my eastside church to Southwest Key’s detention center on the west side of Tucson for unaccompanied, undocumented, immigrant children and youth. On my first visit, I passed the center several times before I realized that that it was a nondescript brown building close to the heart of town. No one would suspect that almost 300 children are housed there, children who have escaped the grinding poverty, violence, environmental devastation, and lack of opportunity to grow and thrive in their home countries in Central America. No one would guess that the former Howard Johnson Inn, later the bustling University of Arizona International Student Housing Complex, is now a Homeland Securities Center for the detention of almost 300 children crossing the U.S.- Mexico border unaccompanied and without proper immigration papers.

Once past the locked front doors, security check-in and guards, a member of my church and I were escorted to the large bright and colorful cafeteria where the children ate their meals and played board games in-between scheduled classes and other activities. Every Wednesday at 3:30 pm the cafeteria became a sanctuary. Tables disappeared and chairs were rearranged in rows of 30. In the early weeks we met in the gym which easily accommodated the original 30 boys but soon girls began to arrive too. As the numbers increased each week, we grew out of the gymnasium and into the largest space available, the cafeteria. The numbers of children and youth doubled and then doubled again until the cafeteria worship space was packed with children.

I was the only bilingual female Protestant minister to fill an expressed need and contractual requirement to lead “Evangelical” worship services. For some reason, most of the children come to the center from a variety of Protestant churches, mostly Pentecostal and others identifying as Evangelical and Christian, which, in Latin America, does not include Catholics. While these children had not experienced a female minister before, I never for a moment felt a lack of respect or engagement from them. The children and youth arrived for the Protestant worship service in small groups, chaperoned by two adult monitors - guards who watched, counted, and reported their movements 24 hours a day. They were shepherded into the long rows of chairs, while the monitors counted and recounted to make sure no one had gone missing. A few, mostly boys, arrived eager to engage, ready for the next adventure, whatever it might be. Most of the children looked deeply weary and lost. Others stared straight ahead and moved robotically. A few hugged a teddy bear or other small stuffed animal. As the children filed into the make-shift worship space, I struggled with the dissonance between worship at my local church. It broke my heart to know that this small and protected space was just a brief reprieve from a life of suffering.

We prayed together in the custom of the indigenous people with whom I had ministered in southern Mexico. Prayers could last for ten minutes or more with all of us praying loudly in our own language, thanking God for all that God had done, and telling God what to do next. The expectation was that God listened and responded to these strong prayers, spoken individually but joined together as one keening voice. Most of the children hid their faces behind their open palms and sobbed their prayers. Were they reliving the dangerous circumstances of their journeys, missing their families, worried about being sent back to their countries of origin, which would mean almost certain death? I never knew. But I got a tiny glimpse when they came forward for a private prayer and blessing with me. Sometimes I couldn’t understand their indigenous dialect, but their bodies, especially their eyes, spoke of great and prolonged suffering.

These were small children that looked years younger than their actual age due to malnutrition and they literally were worn thin by the journey. Despite the desperation of their circumstances, while they were at the shelter, they were treated like children, and played like children. Their unabashed joy at eating a good meal, coming to worship, playing soccer, and going to school was one of my most precious takeaways from my time with them. Another was their enthusiasm and depth of engagement in worship. They responded respectfully to me, their tall “Gringa”26 pastor. Unlike most children of the same age from the U.S., they participated fully and unabashedly without any prompting or fidgeting. They came hungry for a word to sustain them, for song to lift them, and for prayer to open a channel to God’s presence. When I asked for volunteers to read scripture, hands shot up, and those who read did so with pride and care. We sang songs I had found on the internet, religious songs in Spanish, but with an up tempo I knew the children would enjoy. After one time through, they had memorized and internalized the words. You could literally see the Word made Flesh in and through them as they sang full voiced and embodied.

Over time, the numbers of children increased from 300 or more, with a dramatic increase of girls. I was provided with big speakers and a microphone and found myself leading what I would call an “Evangelical-liberation theology worship service” to a packed house. The energy was spirited and we raised the roof with song. But more than the experience of bliss through song and prayer, the content of my reflections were relevant to their lives as migrant/strangers – unwelcome and “illegal.” The children resonated strongly with Jesus as migrant, Mary as unwed teenage mother, oppressed workers, and an unyielding interpretation of “law.” That was something new for them and they sat up and listened.

The girls though, were very shy at first, some only lifted their gaze from the floor after months of services with me. In my trips to the desert with the Tucson Samaritans, a group dedicated to saving migrant lives in the desert, I had come upon “trophy trees” where women and girls’ panties were hung, signaling a threshold only crossed through rape. The girls at the Center told me they knew the probability of sexual assault and rape when they set out on their journey, and that those who could took precautionary measures to avoid pregnancy. Because girls were far outnumbered by men and boys on the journey north, some tried to disguise themselves as boys, to no avail.

Since I was limited to an hour, I tried to make eye contact with every child, especially girls, whose affect was much more downcast. For me, seeing them had to be blessing enough, and over time, I believe it did have a healing effect. We sang the eight to ten songs over and over because I hoped they would have an embodied memory of a time when they were happy and safe in God’s house. The staff, who over time joined in worship with us, told me that they and the children sang the songs all day long and would burst into song over meals. Those “hymns”, which, at an earlier time and context I would have eschewed as praise music, took us deep into the heart of God. The sense of consolation and relief and hope were palpable in the cafeteria-turned-sanctuary. Even the staff began to join in and approached me after worship for a private moment in prayer. The children also appreciated individual blessings at the end of worship, the only time when I could actually place a hand on a child. Protected from inappropriate physical contact, they were also isolated from healing touch. They formed a line out the door and waited patiently as each child came forward to be prayed over and blessed. These kids were starved for blessing.

The children’s names have blurred for me, as sometimes they were either quickly transferred to another detention facility or placed with a family member who would sponsor them for asylum. I never knew what happened to these children, but the imprint their presence left on my soul is strong. Several leaders emerged from within the groups, and I got to know them by their particular eagerness for worship or sadness during prayer. One moment they would be singing full force, to the point where their voices carried to all parts of the building, and the next moment their heads would be bowed, faces hidden behind hands or song sheets as they wept out their prayers. These were children who had not experienced happy and healthy childhoods. Quite the contrary, they came from the violence of poverty and guns, crossed a desert of almost unimaginable peril, to be placed, for at least a while, in a safe place where they would be fed, educated, treated for medical problems, and allowed to worship. For those who came to worship with me, the hour was a time to carry the past into the room and marry it to hope, albeit ever so small, of a better future, of a God who was present with them.

One teenager, whom I will call Berta, was eager from the beginning to engage with me through scripture and song. She volunteered to lead songs that only she and the other children knew. I would sit back and watch them recapture a bit of their past, something to cling to, even as they experienced a liberating theology and female pastor that they had never known before. Berta asked me for my Facebook address, but I wasn’t allowed to share such personal information. She wrote down my name, which I hope she has retained as a remembrance that someone loved her here in this country where she and children like her were not welcomed. One day she disappeared as so many others did. I do not know to what or whom, but I trust that she was a Meriam or Hannah or Hagar or Mary or Anna from the Bible. She left me with the impression that she would find her way home, wherever that ended up being.

A young man, whom I will call Fernando, probably 15 years old - although he looked like he was much younger - always volunteered to read scripture and asked to keep the paper with the reading on it. This, he said, he took to his room to meditate on and memorize. Fernando also led the children in songs from his Guatemalan church. While the children loved the songs I introduced to them, they showed a particular joy in singing their own traditional songs, sometimes in their Mayan languages. Fernando usually had a word to share about the readings. He told me later that he had been a pastor at his home church. Fernando had to be a minor to be here – a minor who was a pastor and had made the two-thousand-mile journey on the top of a train – no longer a child inside but still clearly with remnants of his former identity that anchored him in this new place.

My favorite time with the children, although I too often could not do it because of the number of children and lack of time, was when they came to me for private prayer and blessings. They lined up around the cafeteria-turned-sanctuary and came forward for a laying on of hands and prayer. I had never understood how priests in Chiapas could hear confession in a language they didn’t understand and still be a helpful pastoral presence. But once I had touched and prayed with children who either didn’t speak Spanish or whom I could not understand, I knew that this mattered. A bond was created. They were seen and blessed with respect and tenderness, and asked every week for more of that. The blessing of a total stranger, a female pastor, a Gringa, who cared about them and saw God in them was a very rare experience for these children in transit in one of the worst journeys a child can experience. I can still feel those moments. They were a blessing for me as well.

Most Wednesdays there were too many children and too little time to bless all of them, even if I had a helper or two from church. Still, taking a note from Jesus’ encounter with the hemorrhaging woman, I blessed the children with my eyes when I could not actually touch them. I encouraged RCUCC members who accompanied me to really see each child and be an instrument of God’s love, blessing them through seeing them, rather than touching them. The girls in particular, responded well to being seen, as they had come from a culture of machismo27 in which girls and women were not truly seen as subjects of their own lives. They stood taller, lifted their head and eyes, and held my gaze more with each successive week’s worship.

We learned that these children were sent to the center within 24 hours of apprehension by Border Patrol and remained in custody between a few days and several months while their immigration status was being negotiated. The staff of Southwest Key worked to find family members in the U.S. who could take in these unaccompanied minor children. Most family members in the U.S. who agreed to be sponsors were, themselves, also undocumented, which makes sponsoring a child for asylum very precarious for everyone involved. Even if a child is placed with a family member in the U.S., their stay in the U.S. is not guaranteed. Many would be returned home where their families would face a huge debt for their journey, and the same or worse violent conditions from which they had fled.

Many of these children had left their lives and loved ones behind, having traveled thousands of miles alone from their home countries in Central America, and hanging onto the tops and sides of freight trains called La Bestia (The Beast).28 Illegal travel aboard La Bestia is controlled by gangs notorious for their brutality. The children’s journeys are extremely dangerous, as human smugglers, Mexican and U.S. vigilante groups, ranchers, and local law and immigration enforcement officers prey upon them. If these vulnerable kids don’t find handholds along the sides or tops of trains, they make the trip north packed into buses and vans.29 The drivers are known to stop abruptly to sell and transfer their human “load” to another driver, who sometimes has different designs on their cargo than was originally intended. Many children make the last 60 miles across the perilous Sonoran Desert on foot. An adult family member accompanies a few, but most of the unaccompanied children come alone and join with a group of adults and a coyote, human smuggler. That they make it to the shelter at all is something of a miracle. If they make it, most take weeks to heal their feet from infected blisters.

22 “No matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here,” from the “Extravagant Welcome Brochure” of the United Church of Christ.

23 The Children at Southwest Key were divided into two groups, “Evangélicos” (Evangelicals) and Católicos (Catholics). No distinction was made for any other denomination or religion. As a Protestant pastor, I was considered to be “la Pastora Evangélica.”

24 “Immigrant Children's Shelters,” Southwest Key, accessed September 24, 2016, http://www.swkey.org/programs/shelters/.

25 Perla Trevizo, “Shelter for Unaccompanied Minors "Homey" Tour Reveals,” Arizona Daily Star, December 8, 2015, accessed September 24, 2016, http://tucson.com/news/local/shelter-for-unaccompanied-minors-homey-tour- reveals/article_9ef8c729-05fe-516b-ba54-4e3cc21d8a8a.html.

26 The word Gringo/a derives from the U.S. invasion of Mexico City, in which the Mexicans are said to have chanted “Green – go home!” because the Marines’ uniforms were green. The term is since generally taken to mean a foreigner in Spain and Latin America.

27 Machismo connotes exaggerated masculinity, virility, male chauvinism.

28 For a better understanding of children’s journey aboard la Bestia, see Sonia Nazario, Enrique's Journey : The True Story of a Boy Determined to Reunite with His Mother (New York: Delacorte Press, 2013).

29 Oscar Martinez, The Beast: Riding the Rails and Dodging the Narcos on the Migrant Trail, ed. Kindle (New York: Verso, 2014).

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