#probably because Brent is gone

[tim-ee-sis]

No wonder I catch the boys staring at the front AND the back.

#me #gay #selfie #the bulge game was strong today #probably because Brent is gone #it misses him

[strangersteddierthings]

Childhood friends AU Idea

Steve and Eddie are best friends who make plans to learn the elvish alphabet from The Hobbit so that they can pass notes without worrying about other people reading them.

The end of the school year (Eddie in 6th, Steve in 5th) brings a sadness to the two. Eddie's going to middle school and Steve's not yet, but they can hang out on weekends, and they have all summer so no worries. (Also, it gives Steve a little more time to learn elvish, since it'll be a whole year until they're in the same school again.)

Except yes worries because two weeks into summer, Eddie vanishes. When Steve bikes to his house to investigate, the whole house is empty. Packed up and gone. Steve goes to Wayne for answer and all he gets is a smile that doesn't really reassure and words of "his dad got a job opportunity, had to move on short notice. But don't worry, kiddo. I'll get you the number to their new place so you can call."

He learns elvish anyway. It's harder without Eddie to help but he's determined. Eddie might return, or maybe he'll get an address one day. Send a letter to Eddie in full Elvish.

Steve never gets a number or address. Summer ends and sixth grade comes. He doesn't want to forget all the elvish he's learned, just in case. So, he decides to keep a journal. He can write all about everything that's happening and when he sees Eddie, he can give it to him. It's a double win. Eddie will know everything he's missed out on AND it'll help Steve practice elvish.

Sixth grade ends. Eddie doesn't return. Steve did make friends with Carol Perkins though, so he's not as lonely. He hopes Eddie made a new friend, too. But not a new best friend. That's Steve's position, always.

Seventh grade brings Tommy Hagan, but still no Eddie. It brings a growth spurt and sports. Steve likes the easy camaraderie that comes with sports teams. It's like having a lot of friends, which Steve will only admit to needing in his journal. Needing many little connections of friendship to hold together the big hole Eddie left behind.

The summer between seventh and eighth grade brings him a Bruce Springsteen concert. He'd never thought of a boy kissing another boy until he'd witnessed it on stage but he thinks about it a lot after. The end of that summer brings an awaken he refuses to shy away from even if he has to hide it

Eighth grade brings popularity. Steve's good looking, rich, and liked among his peers. It brings the first (and last) time his dad says he's proud of him.

(Steve will spend the rest of his high school career chasing his father's approval.)

Freshman year brings Eddie back, but he's different. His hair is longer and his clothes are darker and he's distant. Defiant and angry. Steve would recognize him anywhere, dressed in anyway.

Eddie doesn't want his friendship anymore. Avoids him in the halls and cafeteria, but Steve is nothing if not persistent. He writes a full letter in elvish to slip into Eddie's locker, but Eddie catches him. Shoves the letter back, unopened, unread, with a harsh whispered, "Don't you get it Harrington? I don't want to be your friend. Fuck off."

Steve doesn't understand why. Not until the table top rants start. Conformity and jocks and brain-dead rich kids who get by on favoritism.

It hurts. Steve feels his heart break the day he finally gets the not-so-subtle messages drilled into his mind. Eddie hates sports, and rich people, and stupid people. Eddie hates all the things that Steve is.

Eddie hates him.

Sophomore year brings Steve a lot of things. It brings the acknowledgment that he was probably in love with Eddie, the way his heart twists the day he sees Eddie flirting with a girl in the hallway, the way he wants the lights out when hooking up with someone so he can imagine a different person pressed against him, the way he gravitates towards brunettes with brown eyes and the flickering hope it might make Eddie jealous. (The way he'd said the wrong name when Brent went down on him, too absorbed in the fantasy of someone else to get it right. Brent hadn't been offended by it, he'd been thinking of someone else, too. Steve finds solidarity for a little bit, until the school year ends and Brent leaves Hawkins.)

Junior year turns Steve's life upside down (pun intended) with monster's coming out of walls. There's probably a lot more he should write about but his journal's pretty empty this year. Too traumatized to document. (Too afraid of what Eddie would say because Steve still writes in his journal like he plans on sending it to Eddie one day. Better to write nothing than sound crazy.)

And halfway through his senior year (don't think about how he's in it with Eddie, about the 4 classes they share, about how Eddie still won't meet his eye) he wants to fade into the background. Nancy and he break up. She's with Jonathan and he hears the whispers of how pathetic he is to be eating lunch with his ex and the guy that 'stole' her. Steve knows that's a lie, Nancy made her choice, and no one can say otherwise, but it hurts to hear. He can't be bothered to try and make new friends. How would he explain the nightmares? The skittishness. The fear of the dark, of pumpkin patches, of his own damn pool now that he's had time to process last year?

Then, the next year brings him Robin. Well. First it brings him an embarrassing uniform and then Russian torture (don't think about it. Don't think about how he'll shorthand the stock list by writing it in Elvish sometimes. Don't think about how the Russian's almost believe they just work for Scoops until they find the stock list in his pocket. Don't think about how they don't believe that the strange script they can't identify isn't proof he's a spy), but in the end he gets Robin. A Platonic Soulmate who understands the hidden side of him. She asked if he was ever in love, and he thinks of the Eddie he used to know, longs to know again, and describes her instead. She rejects him in the softest way possible and then confesses about Tammy, and he confesses about Eddie in turn.

1986 brings Eddie back into his life in the worst way possible. With a bottle to his neck and them both acting like they've never spoken before. It brings twisting guts as Steve lies awake thinking about Eddie alone in a boathouse instead of sharing a bed with him like they used to in elementary school. It brings Steve leading them to Skull Rock (popularized as a make out spot but started as a set of boys' favorite place to play pirates during the summer). Dustin and Eddie make references Steve pretends to not know, despite his own copies of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and the numerous amounts of notebooks turned journals with elvish scrawled throughout.

There's a trek through the Upside Down. In another universe, Steve imagines he and Eddie talk. In this one, Robin sticks to his side like an extension of him (which she is), and glares at Eddie every time he looks in Steve's direction. Robin knows everything, knows it all, because there are no secrets between them.

They make plans to stop Vecna, once and for all, and Robin confesses she has a fear. That it won't turn out okay this time, but they have to try anyway. Steve clinks his bottle against hers and looks across the field to Eddie and Dustin. The stakes feel so much higher this time.

"I'm going to talk to Eddie if we survive. Make it right," he says.

"No. He's going to make it right because you didn't do anything wrong," Robin says, which is more support than he thought he'd get given the grudge she holds in his favor.

Eddie said make him pay and Steve does. Nancy advances, shotgun shot after shot and Steve's bounding down the stairs. Vecna beats him to the ground floor but not by much.

A hatchet's not the best tool to remove a head with but he manages. When he looks up, Nancy and Robin are looking down, both approving.

They find Dustin sobbing over Eddie and- and-

Steve's certain he's broken several of Eddie's ribs but he's breathing again, Nancy finds his pulse beneath all the blood, and Robin's retrieved the cut sheets to make bandages out of. Nothing is clean in this world, infection could kill him later, he might not save Eddie like he wants, but fucking Christ, at least if death claims him, it'll be on the right side of the world in a hospital.

Dustin, Robin, and Steve are at Eddie's side when Nancy leads Wayne into the room. They knew she went out looking for him (Steve was going to but Nancy had shoved him back in the chair with a look that left no room for argument) but even so they're startled by him.

Wayne has always been stoic and reserved, so it's no surprise to Steve when he just lets out a low whistle and says, "of all the people I might see here, you weren't one of 'em."

Steve swallows thickly and says, "well. I am. Here, I mean."

And Wayne gives him a watery smile and crosses the room. Pulls Steve into a hug that Steve thinks he probably wants to give to Eddie instead, but Eddie's not awake and standing and Steve is. But then Wayne says, "I told Eddie he couldn' chase ya away. That if he just talked to ya, you'd understand. He tried so hard to make ya hate him, and for what? For ya to be at his bedside anyway."

And Steve sobs. Loud and ugly and suddenly Dustin's there, and so are Robin and Nancy, and it's probably the most awkward hug for all the others but it's the best hug Steve's had in years. He doesn't even care that he's crying because how can he? Wayne's all but confirmed that Eddie doesn't hate him, maybe never hated him. That Eddie has an explanation, a reason for it all, and all he wants is Eddie to wake up and tell him.

Steve finally gets his apology two days after Eddie's release. It's the first time they've been alone together since- well, since elementary school. Wayne drove him here then lied about needing to check on something and said he'd be back in an hour or so before abandoned them to the awkward silence in Steve's living room.

"I'm sorry, Steve!" Eddie blurts out loudly, then looks startled by his own yelling.

"I know. I forgive you."

"You shouldn't."

"I know. Still do anyway. Would like to know what happened, though."

And Eddie tells him. How his father's debts came calling and they ran. How his mom got sick real fast, and his father's crime spree and prison sentence following her passing. How Eddie discovered the same thing about himself that Steve did but didn't have the same acceptance of himself. Hated that another thing marked him as Other. Freak.

He tells Steve how he couldn't let Steve back in because he was afraid of losing him again if he ever learned.

"I didn't think you'd be okay being friends with a faggot," Eddie spits the word out, dirty and mean and directed at himself.

Steve makes a decision then. "Follow me." And he helps Eddie up the stairs and into his room. Eddie sits on the bed and watches as Steve digs out notebook after notebook after notebook, until they're a tower on his bed. Then he topples them over in his search for the first.

Eddie takes the offered notebook with confusion on his face, looking from the cover, where 1978 is written on it. The summer Eddie vanished from Steve's life.

"Open it."

Eddie does and gasps. "Steve. Is this-"

"Every single one of these notebooks was written to you. For you. About you. I read The Hobbit for you. The Lord of the Rings. I learned elvish for you. I think I've been a little bit in love with you since the day we met on the playground on my second day of first grade."

"Steve," it comes out breathless and awed.

"Eddie," Steve repeats back to him, just as breathless as Eddie tosses the notebook aside and reaches for Steve instead. Hauls him in to kiss him senseless amongst the proof of Steve's devotion.

#steddie #fic #this was supposed to be a paragraph or two #why am i like this #steve has a complicated relationship with his parents #but they arent terrible #the picture descriptions have translation for the elvish if you wanna know what Steves been writing in his journals

[ziggyplayedguitar96]

Unanswered Questions I Have From Cruel Summer Season 2:

What was Debbie’s illness? They never told us what it was. Megan mentioned remission so it could be some form of cancer but idk.

What was the point of Lily? She was there for like 3 episodes and then she fucked off and disappeared to who knows where. In the first episode during summer 2000 it seemed like she hated Megan. She called her bitch and a freak. Where did the animosity come from? Nothing in the season would change if she didn’t exist.

What did Megan do with tape of Isabella killing Luke? Did she turn it in? Did she just sit with it and let Brent take the fall for killing Luke?

Did Ned never see the tape from the camera pointing to the dock? The whole season could’ve been wrapped up really quickly if Ned turned in the tape. He has those camera on 24/7. He’s probably watched them so he should’ve seen it.

What happened with Megan’s pregnancy? They never told us how it ended. Did she get an abortion? Have a miscarriage? The baby should’ve been born by the summer 2000 timeline but there’s no mention of it besides the police interrogation. Did she even have it?

What happened with Megan’s dad? He showed up for one episode and then left, never to be seen again. It was never explained why he came to Chatham. We know he payed for Megan’s lawyer at least.

Why did the writers have Debbie date Steve even though Luke and Megan were dating? That’s just really fucking weird. If Debbie and Steve got married then Megan and Luke would be step siblings.

How did Megan explain the bloody sheets to Debbie? Those were the sheets with Luke’s blood so what did she tell her?

Why didn’t the police check the cabin the moment Luke became a missing person? Why wait until his body was found? The first step should’ve been checking places he frequently goes.

Why did Megan only clean the cabin once Luke’s body was found? Did she and Isabella really just leave everything as it was from that night? They left the blood, pills, sheets, etc. when they should’ve cleaned a while ago.

Did Isabella really kill Lisa? Why was that left unanswered? Are just supposed to assume and come to our own conclusions?

Will Isabella ever be arrested? Megan now has actual proofs that Isabella is the killer and if she turns it in the police will have to track her down. The reason the plot twist in season 1 worked was because Jeanette is the only one who knows the truth and taking that secret to the grave. That can’t work here.

Why did Megan and Isabella storm into Steve’s office saying they saw his car? The should’ve just gone to the police first instead of making him aware that there was evidence against him.

What caused Megan to drastically change her appearance? With Jeanette the showed her cutting her hair but with Megan we’re just left to guess.

Why is Isabella the way she is? She’s really controlling and likes to play God with others. Why? What’s the reason?

Did Isabella give the police the tape from the cabin? She said she’s destroy it but she always could’ve lied idk.

Where the hell was Debbie during the last episode. Seriously where did she go?

Why the hell was Isabella even at the dock? As far as she knew Luke was still tied up in that cabin. Also why did she arrive all dressed up like that?

How many times has Isabella done this “ride or die” best friends bullshit? She talked about all the other places she’s lived so did she also do it there?

Does anyone remember Megan asking that one guy in summer 2000 who he had been talking to because the sheriff was asking questions? She gave him a floppy disk and said she upping the price. What was that? Who was that?

These are all the questions I could think of off the top of my head but this entire season has so many plot holes and unanswered questions that I might have more. I feel like the episodes should’ve been longer so they could really fit everything in or season 2 should’ve just gotten an extra episode.

#cruel summer #cruel summer season 2 #megan landry #isabella larue #debbie landry #lily landry #steve chambers #brent chambers #luke chambers #ned cruel summer #lisa cole #trevor cole #this season was kind of all over the place at times #I’m so confused by some of the details

[itsbackwoodsbby]

NightTime

Brent Faiyaz x Black Fem Reader

Summary: Your daughter can’t sleep because she misses her daddy, who is back doing tours after your daughter’s arrival. This makes you wonder is this the right time to have another kid with Christopher.

it’s 3am and you’re up listening to a lofi radio on youtube as you’re finishing up some schoolwork that’s due earlier that night. you normally would do it in morning, but you’re going to be so busy today. you want to take your daughter out on a girls’ day out to get her mind off of her dad. you understand her because you miss your boyfriend so much. he barely has any time to respond back to your text and calls.

as you’re closing up your laptop, you hear baby footsteps walking slowly towards your room. you rush to put the blanket over your head.

“mommy?” your whining toddler comes in your room, rubbing her wet eyes. “when is daddy coming back?”

you try to ignore her by pretending you’re sleep, but your quietness makes her upset, she cries again. you sigh and pick her up.

“isabella, your dad won’t back until next month.” you say to her. “can i call him?” she says, trying to find a little hope. “isa, its 3am. he’s probably sleep.” you say.

you feel a few teardrops on your arm, as her sniffles fill the room. you look at her. her face is very red and covered with tears. you grab your phone and you scroll through your contacts until you see the contact that said “cw 💍” and you hit it.

it rings for a couple minutes and then he answers. “hey baby.” he says. “hey bae.” you say. then isabella hops in the camera, with only her right eye and her matching bonnet with you, “hey daddy!” she yells. he smiles, “hey baby girl.” he says to her, laughing a little over her excitement.

you turn on the light and set the camera up to where everyone can be seen.

“has my baby been crying?” he says. she nods her head yes. “why you been crying baby girl?” he asks her. “i miss you daddy.” she says biting her finger. “aw i miss you too sweetie.” he says back to her. “why can’t you come home now?” she coos at him. “i’m busy on tour, but i’ll be home next month baby. i promise when i’m home, we can do whatever you want to princess.” he says to her. she smiles at him, “okay daddy.”

they talk for a few and then he looks at the time. “should daddy sing you to sleep? it’s late. you should be be sleep.” he says. she yawns, “i’m not tired.” she says, as her pretty brown eyes slowly start closing. he starts singing her a llubaby and she’s off to sleep.

you pick her up and place her back in her room. you come back to your room and you see chris eating a piece of chicken. you take a picture of him.

“come on y/n.” he laughs. “i’m sorry.” you let out a cute giggle. “i really just couldn’t help myself.” he smiles, “god, i miss you guys so much.” you smile back, “i miss you too chris.” he looks at you, admiring your beauty for a moment, “you were doing some schoolwork, baby?” he ask. you were smiling really hard, “yeah. i finished up before lil mama came in the room.” you say as you take off your glasses and get comfortable in bed again.

you love how observant chris is. he notices the little things. how you only wear your glasses at night to do school. it’s silly and small, but it shows he knows you and he cares.

you two are silence for a couple moments until finally you break it. “chris… i think we should hold off on trying.” you say quickly hoping he didn’t understand you. but he did and he looks at you, hurt. “why? this is the perfect time y/n.” you inhale and exhale, “it’s just… i hate seeing isabella sad like this because you’re gone. how am i supposed to handle isa and a newborn baby?” you say.

he’s quiet for a moment, “y/n, i want this. i’ll take you guys on tour with me.” you look at him, “what about baby appointment? who’s going to watch them during your shows? after the shows? what about substances? you know your tours have weed and alcohol everywhere. we agreed to keep that stuff away from our kids until they were older enough to understand.” you starts listing all the cons of going on tour with him. “only way, i could get what i want is if i stop touring.” you see that made him even more hurt. “y/n… i don’t want to stop touring. this tour has made me realize how bad i miss it. i don’t want to stop now.”

you feel bad for making him choose between tour or another child, so you try to cheer him up. “baby, i’m sorry, but think of it like this. everything good sometimes takes time. maybe soon, we’ll have a little cj running around here.” he smiles, “i love that idea baby.”

so you fall asleep on the phone. eventually chris wakes you up and tells you he’s getting ready to go and he has to hang up. you pout about it but he reassures you that he’ll call back later after your girls’ day with isabella. you two hang up and you go right back to sleep.

around 11, you’re waking up to isabella jumping on the bed. you smile. she hasn’t did that in a while. you get up get both of y’all ready for the day and then you two leave the house. the girls’ day activities were: getting breakfast, getting the nails down (which y’all got matching colors of light blue), going to trampoline park, going to the movies, and going on a target run.

you get more dolls for isabella and … a pregnancy test. of recent, you been waking up very nauseous and you’ve been getting tired more than usual and not to mention… you’re late on your period… but not too late, but you’re still worried.

you go home and open isa’s dolls and she runs straight to her room and plays with her doll house. you go to the bathroom and take the pregnancy test. you wash you hands, feed you and your baby, and start getting her ready for bed. you do everything but look at the damn stick.

y/n, everything is fine. you’re overthinking. you’re not pregnant.

you’ve been repeating this to yourself for a while as you bathe isa. you dry her off and get her in the pink onesies. then you shower yourself and get ready for bed. she chills in the room with you, waiting for the phone to ring so she can talk to her daddy. you go to test. you look at the results. you had no time to think about it and react, because chris calls.

“mommy! hurry! daddy’s calling!” she rushes you. you run out the bathroom and answer the phone.

the phone call went the same as usual. he talked to isabella and then she fell asleep. faster this time because of the fun she had. you’ve been quiet the whole time. he looks at you.

“y/n, are you okay? you haven’t been talk?” he says, making you tear up randomly. you weren’t sad. it’s just now all the emotions hit you at once. “chris, i’m pregnant.”

_______________________

maybe a part two 👀

#brent faiyaz #poc writer #short story #brent faiyaz short story #black writer #fanfic #wasteland #sonder #nuwo #itsbackwoodsbby #larger than life #black fanfic writer #black fanfiction #black oc #tour #pregnancy #kids #x black fem reader #brent faiyaz x black fem reader

[jinxed-ninjago]

In light of this post I just reblogged, here's why I don't think it's fair to say the Ninjago writers were completely in the wrong for Zane being a victim of ableism in the first 7 episodes of Ninjago (or even at all), as someone with autism who didn't receive an autism diagnosis until the age of 15.

My Experience

So naturally, because I was autistic and nobody knew about it (in fact nobody even suspected it until I was 13), my behavior and people's treatment of me reflected it. Because of this, I wasn't treated how I should've been, and ended up emotionally unstable, which resulted in aggression and anxiety on my end (for clarification, everyone who was on the receiving end of aggressive outbursts of mine agree that had I been diagnosed earlier, things would've gone a lot differently and I likely wouldn't have had those kinds of outbursts. I'm not trying to blame late diagnosis for my aggression or anything, it's something everyone in my life agrees on).

Essentially, because we didn't know I was autistic, it led to ableism from people around me, which led to emotional instability. Because nobody knew what was going on, my emotional instability combined with a habit I had of truancy led to me being sent to a group home when I was 13, which made things worse (but was also the first step to me getting an autism diagnosis because my therapist while I was there was the first person to mention the possibility that I was autistic).

How My Experience Relates To Zane

As we all know, Zane didn't find out he was a nindroid until episode 7, but from the start he's been autistic coded (something we can actually thank Brent Miller for! Without his specific way of voicing Zane, which Brent has mentioned was partially inspired by Data from Star Trek, the Hageman Brothers never would've considered making Zane a robot). From the start (by which I mean since 2012) I've also found Zane relatable.

Zane's experience is pretty similar to mine. Spending your life thinking you're normal (allistic in my case, human in Zane's case) only to find out that's not the case (receiving an autism diagnosis in my case, finding his blueprints and finding out he's a nindroid in Zane's case). In both cases, before finding out why specifically we were different, both me and Zane were treated differently from other people.

In my case, I was teased in school and found it a little hard to make friends because I wasn't "normal". The only kid I actually found I could relate to in school was another kid people saw as weird (who in hindsight was probably autistic). Now that I know more about how my brain works, I'm able to convey that and help people understand my thinking a little easier, so since getting my diagnosis I haven't dealt with as much ableism nor have I struggled as much as I used to. I've only really experienced ableism since this point from people who are actively trying to be dicks.

Similarly, Zane is shown to struggle with fitting in at the start of the series. Kai, Jay, and Cole judge him for being "weird" and discuss it with Wu and there's an entire episode focused on it. Once they find out about Zane being a nindroid, they're able to realize why Zane's behavior was so different, and their perspective on him shifts a lot. Similarly to me, the only time Zane really experiences discrimination is with villains or villainous factions (think the Mechanic, the Dragon Hunters, and Vex) and usually it's in the form of dehumanizing him (the Mechanic seeing him as nothing more than a battery in season 12 and the Dragon Hunters seeing him as nothing but spare parts, for example).

In the case of ableism against autistic people and discrimination targeted at Zane, the goal is usually dehumanization, which is why the parallel works so well (or at least one of the reasons).

The discrimination against Zane isn't there for no reason, and it's not like it doesn't work. It works incredibly well for the specific experience the writers (at the time, the Hageman Brothers) were trying to portray.

Addressing Jokes Made At Zane's Expense

This was one of the complaints I saw on the original post so I figured I might as well bring it up.

Yes, there are jokes made at Zane's expense that specifically center around his nature as a nindroid. Context is important here though. Kai, Cole, and Jay specifically make jokes with the intent of humor when it comes to allies, there's never an intent to inflict harm. They know how far is too far, and I think Kai's teasing towards Jay exemplifies this. If their jokes with Zane were going too far, they'd stop because their goal isn't to hurt each other or tear each other down. It's just to tease each other.

The team making jokes about Zane's habits is no different from someone close to me making a joke about how argumentative I can get about zoology or how I can get hyperfocused to the point of forgetting to eat. It's all in good fun and as long as the subject of the jokes is okay with it, there's no harm in making jokes about someone's habits, even if those habits are born from something like autism. That is the nature of Kai, Cole, and Jay's teasing; lighthearted jabs at habits born from Zane's nature as a nindroid.

Addressing The Lego Ninjago Movie Because Apparently People Still Complain About It In The Year Of Our Lord 2023

In the movie Zane is just trying way too fucking hard to fit in. It's not necessarily that Zane is making being a robot 90% of his personality; if anything, denying he's a robot is 90% of his personality because he's trying to fit in and people are constantly questioning his humanity. It's like an exaggerated version of what I've seen autistic people experience online (being forced to defend themselves because we're dehumanized to the nth degree). The fact that I even have to say that in 2023 is ... SOMETHING.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago zane #zane julien #ninjago analysis #jinxed analysis #jinxed overanalysis #tw ableism #tw dehumanization #idk how else to tag this #anyway stop generalizing autistic experiences maybe

[lcrk]

the period of time over which One for the Money season three was filming was probably the time when Dorothea was most miserable on and around set. her safest 'safe person' in the cast and crew (Brent [x]) was gone. Jason was around set more, directing and writing more episodes this season to get the ratings 'back on track'. this new actress, Daphne [x], was added to the main cast partway through the season and her character and Dorothea's character were immediately at odds, while behind the scenes the actresses were constantly being compared to each other in ways that felt very much to Dorothea like she would get fired and replaced with Daphne if she wasn't careful.

Dorothea's character was given a storyline where she seduces and carries on a relationship with one of her professors [x] which felt to Dorothea both like punishment and like she was acting out Jason's fantasies on screen, in addition to perpetuating bad examples about student/teacher relationships. (the actor playing the professor was also uncomfortable with it and he had not been told about the direction his storyline would take when he signed on for the recurring role -- which he'd done because his nieces were obsessed with the show, and which made him even more unhappy with where the character went.)

the entire cast was under a lot of pressure to get back to the top of the ratings, which Dorothea felt especially strongly since Jason kept reminding her that it was her fault Brent's character got written off. a lot of the fanbase was still angry that Brent's character had gotten killed, and were mad at Dorothea's character (and, by extension, Dorothea) both for the character's death and for how quickly she moved on after her boyfriend died; none of which Dorothea had any control over and all of which she was probably more upset than anyone about.

and she had to keep on a happy face for press and fans to keep ratings up, keep publicity good, and fans happy. one of her friends in her inner circle who knew how miserable and stressed she was half jokingly told her that she should be getting an Emmy for her performance saying hi to fans who showed up everywhere the filming trailers were spotted. she struggled with her eating disorder [x] because of the stress even though she'd spent the year before really working hard on it, and spent a lot of time when she wasn't needed on set hiding out in the costume trailer or the hair and makeup trailer instead of her own.

#dorothea filming season 3 internally like 'i hate my life' and externally like 'best job ever thank you for being fans <3' #girlie was not living her best life that year especially #headcanons – ( write books about me )

[formulatrash]

Who are the nicest drivers you’ve worked with (from any series)?

uhm, good question. tbh, they are usually quite nice? like I don’t think I’ve really met that many drivers who weren’t. especially in Formula E but even thinking about junior formulas or whatever there’s very few rude ones. 

Alex Sims, for sure - just an incredibly lovely, kind man. JEV properly made me cry in Berlin this year, by being sweet. Sam Bird is a very good person. Lucas, even though he cannot stop saying the most insane bullshit, is actually incredibly kind and has gone out of his way to be nice to me several times when I was having a very bad time. Ollie Rowland is a sweetheart, as is Turvey. even Buemi is like, a really nice lad who it’s unfortunate has a reputation for being angry given he’s really not. tbh I can’t really think of any recent ones in FE who aren’t nice beyond one driver’s tendency to be incredibly sulky/negative. they’re all how they come across, which is generally a little bit nervous and if anything over-eager to try and do things, like if I start listing them all we’ll be here forever but they’re good drivers, Brent.

Lewis can be (rightly) sharp with journalists but is also genuinely very nice and warm and laughs easily. Lando is much more patient than you’d expect someone his age to be and if he sees someone struggling to ask a question sort of helps them out. the last time I interviewed Seb he was still in his annoying phase but still came across as nice on anything that mattered and clearly that’s only grown. 

like, generally people are good. the motorsport world can be very cruel and there are bad actors and there are people who treat people horribly but they don’t tend to be the people who are grateful to have got to where they are, who know they need a team to support and help them do what they do - you wouldn’t get very far up the junior ladder, usually, if that was your attitude. there are, of course, exceptions but it’s probably important to think of them as anomalies rather than the rule. 

a lot of the drivers who get held up as iconic didn’t-give-a-fuck twats by whichever idiot having a crisis because people with blue hair might like “their” sport were, in fact, very caring. James Hunt, who for sure had plenty of demons, was a highly political hippie who would’ve been the wokest on the block in 2022, he should be much more famous for protesting Apartheid than saying sex is a great breakfast. the two aren’t exclusive. you can be into the sexual revolution (and there’s nothing that suggests his promiscuity was anything other than entirely consensual and enthusiastic from the other parties) and also oppose racism, it’s just that people misinterpret Hunt constantly. 

and then of course you have pieces of work like the racist who exposed himself earlier this year. which just shows you can’t buy class and that even severe alcohol addiction doesn’t take it away.

#motorsport asks

[kitkatt0430]

Anyway because I'm in a sci fi mood right now (and rewatched the film recently) and you mentioned that you loved the film - I would love to know about your more detailed thoughts on Independence Day!!

It is absolutely a silly, feel good film to me. I love so much about it. Brent Spiner's delivery of all his lines before the alien autopsy gone wrong, Will Smith dragging an alien through the desert while bitching at it (he deserves to), Judd Hirsch and Jeff Goldblum's excellent chemistry as a father and son duo... even the music choice at the start of the movie - I can't hear R.E.M.'s It's the End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) without thinking of this movie and it fits the overall theme of the movie soooo well.

I like the President character - not surprising, I generally like Bill Pullman's character acting - and he works well as someone trying hard to keep it together and do the right thing despite grieving his personal loss of his wife during the first act of the movie.

(Apparently they reused the White House set from The American President, which amuses me trivia wise since that's another movie I enjoy. And if I watch one right after the other, I can pretend Thomas Whitmore was elected after Andrew Shepherd's second term and then contemplate how the Shepherd family and their secret security agents fared the aliens.)

But Steven Hiller is probably my favorite character, though, because he's just fun. He's relaxed and confident in his relationships in a way that says he's comfortable both with who he is and who they are, even if others are more judgemental about it.

That said, I do really enjoy David a lot - an MIT grad who is overqualified for his job and his father doesn't seem to understand why he won't/can't get a better job, though it's rooted in love and wanting his son to be happier. I see a lot of mental health struggles in David that are relatable, even if they're not similar to my own issues.

I always feel so bad for the alien groupies at the start of the movie. Yeah, we're supposed to see them as being kinda idiots, but they're just excited and hopeful and it's sad that they die for being willing to hope that maybe the aliens come in peace and want to hang out or party. They just wanted to believe in a better future and that's really not so bad.

The end of the movie comes together really well. Despite it being a bit ridiculous that David can create a virus that can propagate to every alien ship from the mothership and kill their shielding after being totally unfamiliar with the alien tech just days earlier... it's somehow just plausible enough that I can suspend disbelief and just enjoy David and Steven having their infiltration mission. And the Independence Day speech that Whitmore gives before the world wide attack on the alien ships always gets to me. It's cheesy but it gets to me.

#kitkatt0430 answers #independence day (ID4) #kitkatt0430 rambles #fandom meta #thanks for asking

[kriskalutz]

Marcus: Done.

...Eh?

Marcus: My second LTW. I finished it.

...Wait what? Really?! Have we even gone through a full week yet?

Marcus: I mean I probably couldn't have done it without Blue Belle.

Yeah having Blue Belle help with grinding out Club Points at the end really helped out... I knew this LTW was easy, but I didn't realize it was THAT easy. I think you've earned a rest. Anything in particular you want to do?

Marcus: ...Hmm... there is one thing.

Marcus: Oliana there's something I'd like to talk to you about.

Oliana: Sure! What's on your mind?

Marcus: I'm quitting.

Oliana: WHAT.

Marcus: Relax, relax. I'm just going to stop being Leader of Powerhouse. I'm getting old and I just want to enjoy the club without any of the responsibilities...

Marcus: ...Which is why I'm leaving you in charge.

Oliana: ...Me? Are you sure?

Marcus: You're the only one in this club whose Active. I wanted to invite Brent to the club, but I never actually met him, so it wouldn't let me.

I thought you could invite anyone regardless of whether or not you know them? Maybe its because there's no specific requirements for the club? It's weird.

Marcus: Either way, you're probably the most fit to lead the group.

Oliana: You know, its funny: I'm Active but I actually hate Fitness!

...I'm sorry you what.

Oliana: But something about being a part of this club... I don't know, it helps negate the tension I guess? I don't feel as stressed out when I work out with you guys than when I do it by myself or at a regular gym. So sure! I'll be happy to take over Powerhouse!

Marcus: Thank you very much.

#sims #sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #legacy challenge #demure legacy #demure gen 1

[littlewalken]

mar 10

Sewing machine day. Went to the local Joann that's closing because it's moving to a closer to me location to get some precuts. They aren't getting any new shipments so it's a fine line between get it before it's gone or wait until it's cheaper.

As the patterned roll was hiding until I found it now was time enough.

We'll just say I have a threshold I'll pay for a sewing project, like a quilt top or getting a set of prints, and this was still under it.

I plan to use the easy bargello idea from Busy Hands

but instead of diagonals I might have the colors zig zag a bit.

The least/most I can do today is put the colors together. I have Xmas fabric strips to put together too. Then I'll cut it all out with scissors.

My choice to not use a rotary cutter is due to my brain injury and no driving or playing with fire orders. I can use knives and be around sharps, it's just the idea of a super sharp pizza cutter and no protective cutting glove that my fingers don't like.

Rewatched some of Picard s3 and by rewatching I mean I skimmed along to Brent's parts in a couple of episodes. I've read the summaries so I know what else is going on.

Yeah, naw, I have the DVDs for the extras I suppose. If Brent wasn't in the show I doubt I would have even bought the DVDs. I really don't care about most of those characters.

And with finding the NTSC version of a show I think I know what I'll be spending the converted ustahold change on. Probably will get a 60cm body for Shi Shi.

Being unsure if several of the dollhouse littles will get new face ups after their baths to try and fix their plastic falling apart I think I might want to keep him around as much as possible.

*Then the second cup of coffee kicks in and I remember I want to sew a body for Shi Shi and he's cool with that.

[fussyspace]

Word count: ~65,600

Cover: This seems to have gone through a few different covers, so I'll comment on the one we were sent, which appears to be the latest. It definitely gets across everything it needs to: the noir detective vibe, the fact there are humanoid aliens, and the fact at least one bloke gets abducted. It gives the impression the detective and the alien are working together, too, which tracks. And it looks good. A solid cover.

Blurb: 'Brent Bolster doesn't give a damn.

'Overlords, invaders, the Earth Upgrade Committee: they can all go to hell.

'But abduct him? He'd like to see them try.

'Like any good PI, Brent has a snub-nosed pulse pistol hidden under his pillow. But he's just met his worst nightmare, an alien with an attitude that just won’t quit, and things are about to get...complicated.

'Join Brent as he tackles Earth’s new overlords and uncovers a deadly plan.

'With the help of a mysterious dame, an assistant with serious muscle, a neurotic scientist, and a fish called Algernon, he might make it through.It's a tough job, but Brent can handle it. Just as soon as he's had his third cup of coffee……and found that damned pulse pistol.

'You’ll get a kick out of this comedy because all scifi fans love a tongue-in-cheek reference.

'Dial G for Gravity takes the world of an old-fashioned gumshoe and propels it into the future. But like all good scifi, it has something to say about where we’re headed and the way we live now.

'So grab a pot of joe, fill your favorite Star Fleet mug, and start reading.'

Whew. Bit of a long blurb. Much like the cover, it gets that detective vibe across pretty well, and it imparts a dash of the humour that will follow it the book. I might have left it a bit long between reading and writing my notes up into a review, but I can't remember it having much to say about where we're headed and the way we live now, so I feel like that bit may have been a bit redundant. In any case, it's a fun one. Let's dive in.

Vote to continue at 30%: Yes

This book was hard to review without spoilers, so please be aware that there are probably many below – mostly to do with characters rather than the plot.

Content: This was an enjoyable and easy read from the outset, with a decent dash of humour and an interesting if slightly cheesy setting including an obvious but entertaining Spock stand-in. We had a detective getting abducted even though he should have been exempt, an alien getting pranked by his co-workers, and not-android-Spock falling mortally foul of their captain's temper. A lot of these colourful characters got thrown together for much of the book, with plenty of opportunity to bounce off each other. It was a promising setup.

However, with several different plot lines moving along at once, it didn't go as far as I expected by what I thought was the 30% mark (it had a pesky sample of the sequel at the end, which skewed my perception of how long the actual book was), beyond presenting the mystery of why the detective was mistakenly abducted and revealing a ship of aliens heading for Earth. By halfway, the main characters had teamed up and started working through the problem, but I felt a general lack of 'spark' that I struggled to put my finger on. Perhaps it was just the pacing, but I think it may have been the number of PoV characters, each knowing their bit of the story and thus removing some of the suspense. The prose was entertaining enough, but the plot failed to deliver and I found the eventual resolution so sudden that it was disappointing.

While I did have a few chuckles as I read, the humour did often fall back on something that always falls flat for me: characters constantly being rude or just plain mean to each other. (Also references to some TV shows I assumed were either before my time or American, or both.) I'm never quite sure if it's meant to be funny or not, but I just find it makes me retreat from the characters. In this case I don't think Brent is meant to be particularly likeable, but his behaviour got more grating for me as the book went on. I held out some hope of him changing and becoming nicer, but he didn't, and was particularly keen on trying to get with Maisie even after she made it perfectly clear she wasn't interested.

In fact, all the men seemed to make jokes at the expense of the women. This would have been less of a problem if the women were actually strong characters. I expected Maisie to constantly cut through Brent's nonsense, but by the end she was practically simpering at the thought of a man protecting her. I thought Tsumper would be an intelligent investigator, but she didn't reappear and was written off as stupid. I thought Breamell would be sharper than Rawlgeeb gave her credit but, but she was just all over him and did nothing but get captured. Individually, perhaps nothing of note. Together, they paint a frustrating picture. Maybe I'm just being stupid here and it's deliberately embracing a trope of noir stories, but it didn't come across as a result of unreliable or rose-tinted narration, and it didn't sit right.

In the end, while I enjoyed the book's writing style and its quirky setting, the plot and characters left me feeling a bit more ambivalent. It was a quick and reasonably entertaining read, but I wasn't itching to dive into the sequel.

#science fiction #self publishing #sff #spsfc #sci fi #spsfc3 #spsfc3 round 1

[retrievablememories]

gravity | taemin (m)

title: gravity pairing: taemin x gn reader genre: angst, smut, fwb request: Hi! Slipping another request for your growing request list 😅. If you're down to write it -- can we have a Taemin fic about someone he can't help being drawn back to every time he's in their city. Idk if you know the song 'Gravity' by Brent Faiyaz but, 100% that kind of vibe. 100% down for it to be smutty word count: 3.4k warnings: long-distance angstiness, oral sex (including face fucking), mirror sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex (do not 🙅🏿‍♀️🙅🏿‍♀️), creampie, hand on the throat but no choking, fuckboy taemin? a/n: Taemin’s gone off to the service and left me with an infant to raise by myself so here’s a fic i guess 😢😢😢😢😢😢 i made the reader gender neutral because the requester used “their” pronouns/didn’t specify gender, but anon if you want something different you can let me know recommended songs: gravity + brent faiyaz | strings + taemin | everytime + ariana grande

—

i’d get you what you want, but you want me alone

—

His name and picture appear on your phone one evening without forewarning, and despite yourself, it makes your breath catch. You count the beats in your head before allowing yourself to pick up the call, not wanting to seem more eager than necessary. You would’ve picked it up halfway before the first ring finished, if you were a little less shameless.

It feels like every nerve in your body has come online from a deep sleep when he speaks your name.

“How have you been doing?” he asks, his voice a casual lilt.

“I’m fine. Life is...life. I’m doing okay. What about you?”

“Busy,” he says, which you expected. He always is. “There’s never not something to do.” There’s hesitation in Taemin’s voice when he speaks again—maybe something akin to longing—and the syllables of his words drag out longer than they need to. “You know, I’m back in town. Just on some business, but...”

You pause, and even though you’ve physically hesitated, your heart begins leaping like it’s trying to escape your chest. “You are?”

“Yes, I won’t be here for very long, but…” His voice trails off like there’s a silent part within that he expects you to fill in. Indeed, you’ve both been doing this long enough to know how that sentence ends.

“But you want to see me,” you finish for him. You smirk at that, knowing him probably better than he knows himself. A surge of discontent stirs in your chest, though, which you are unable to fully tune out.

Taemin makes a noise like he’s stretching out, and you imagine him lying back on his bed. He’s likely already been put up in a hotel, the same one he always stays at when he comes to your city. “Good guess.” He laughs sneakily, like you’ve just spilled something no one was supposed to know, and you snort. “Did you miss me? We haven’t met in so long.”

You sigh, feeling like you’re walking into a trap. Taemin’s need for affection, especially fully vocalized affection, has always seemed a bit like a setup, even if he wasn’t entirely aware of it. A way to expose your growing feelings for him without you even realizing what you’d done. “I think you know the answer to that one. Clearly, I don’t need to ask if you’ve missed me.”

He laughs. For a moment you wish you were on FaceTime instead, so you could see the smile stretching itself out on his pretty, plush lips.

“I always end up missing you...everything about you, like the faces you make when I’m between your thighs, or how you always get so tight around me…” His voice is lower now, more breathy, a promise and a tease all at the same time.

You swallow nervously at those words, blood already rushing to your lower body. “Tae…”

Taemin moans softly in answer to you calling his name, and it makes you die a little on the inside. “I can’t wait to come inside you, mark you as mine again.” Before you can think to respond to that, he says, “...But we should save all that for when we see each other, hm?” And he giggles again. If you were not so infatuated with him, you might reach through the phone to strangle him.

“God, Taemin...you wear me out.”

“Don’t I always?”

—

Later that week, Taemin shows up at your place with his overnight bag in tow, just as you’d expected. And food.

“Oh, you brought sustenance,” you say, raising your eyebrows at the bag of food in his hands.

“Yes, duh. Although you like to claim otherwise, I’m not such a pervert that I don’t know how to wine and dine you before getting what I want.” You roll your eyes at that, letting him come past the threshold.

“Okay, Tae. Whatever you say.” You pinch a strand of his black-and-white hair, and it slips from your fingers as he walks past you. “Nice weave. Whose idea was it this time?”

Taemin cuts his eyes at you. “You should be thanking me for giving you something to pull on.”

You cover your mouth to hide your laughter, shaking your head. “Ah, Lee Taemin. Such a gracious lover.”

Before you can even think about getting to the main event, you both spend a few hours just catching up on things, eating the food he’d brought, and acting way too much like a couple for your sanity. You wonder if he feels the same way about this behavior deep down, but you aren’t going to venture down that road by asking him. Not yet.

After you are done eating, it doesn’t take long to fall into bed and into the same pattern you’ve established with each other. Taemin has pulled his hair back into a small ponytail at the back of his head, because he thinks you’ll find it hotter—always such a glutton for your attention—and you are exasperated because he’s right. Taemin reads the sudden interest in your gaze, and his lips curve in a knowing and devious smile before pulling you into his grasp.

“I was wanting this for so damn long,” he says to you with his lips against your neck. He corners you in the hallway, his body pressing against your own as he plants one hand on your lower back and brings your hips close enough that even a single breath couldn’t get between you.

“You say that every time,” you sigh, tilting your head and allowing him more space to brush his lips over your skin.

“Because it’s true.” You don’t know how you eventually get to your bedroom, because Taemin seems intent on peeling all your clothes off in the middle of the hallway. Your shirt is missing and your pants are already unbuttoned by the time you reach the bed, and Taemin’s own shirt is lying in the doorway of your room. The peony tattoo on his hip is almost fully displayed now, blooming darkly against his skin and disappearing partway beneath the waistband of his skinny jeans.

Taemin climbs onto the bed to join you and kisses you deeply, your chests pressed together and his hips rocking fluidly against your own, his growing erection pressing deliciously into you and making you arch your hips into him. You spend so long simply kissing that you feel like an overexcited college student making out with your crush for the first time again, and you distantly wonder why he’s spending more time on this than he usually would.

Eventually, he parts from your lips and makes it his personal mission to kiss every inch of your body he can, making his way from your neck to the top of your jeans.

He kisses you through your underwear before sliding it off you, taking his time with this movement, and puts his silky wet mouth on you. You tremble underneath him as his tongue sweeps over you, and you dip your hands down into that hair—which is admittedly just as fun to pull on as he’d predicted. 

The strands become fully unleashed from their former neat little ponytail by the time Taemin has you coming and spilling over his tongue and fingers. When he finishes, he pulls back from you—licking his lips all the while—and runs a hand through the loose hair, pretending to sigh in annoyance and casting a look to the abandoned hair tie on the floor.

“Ah, babe...you never appreciate my hard work.”

“Taemin...shut up.”

Despite his complaint, he doesn’t bother with tying it back up again. After he’s peeled his pants and underwear off with your help, he gets onto the bed and kneels above you, legs balanced on either side of your shoulders. You put your tongue out for him to slide his length across, but he only teases you for a few moments by tapping the tip against your tongue. Nothing but a sticky trail of precum is left between his tip and your tongue; you try to beg him for more with your eyes alone. Taemin meets your pleading gaze with his own wicked eyes, but he only smiles vaguely and keeps up his teasing game, rubbing the head of his dick across your lips and smearing his precum over your mouth like gloss.

Finally, he decides he’s done with denying you and feeds his dick to you inch by inch. He gives a rough moan when he pulls out and pushes back in, savoring the way your mouth tightens around him. 

Taemin places his hands on the bed and slowly thrusts his hips, fucking your mouth like he often likes to do, his thighs flexing with the motions. He does this until sweat beads on his forehead, sliding his member between your lips and reveling in the dirty wet sounds it creates, and he laughs when he sees your hand clumsily slide further down between your legs. 

“Does having your throat fucked turn you on this much?” he murmurs. “Can’t even help yourself ‘cause you’re in love with my dick. Shameless.” You cannot respond to his mocking, but his words make you even more aroused than before. Despite Taemin’s teasing of you, his own face and neck are flushing with heat, and his cock throbs as the familiar sensation of nearing the edge creeps up on him. With much reluctance, he pulls himself out of your mouth, leaving strings of your spit clinging to his shaft. 

“Thank you for getting me nice and wet, baby.” He shuffles himself further down your body, kissing you on the lips once before settling himself between your legs and pulling your thighs around his slim hips. His cock nudges wet and hard against your inner thigh, and you gasp when he pushes into you, the stretch pleasant after so long of being empty of him.

Taemin wastes no time with rocking into you, setting a smooth rhythm that both of you are intimately familiar with. Taemin keeps one hand on your hip while the other holds your face, his thumb edging into your mouth. You curve your lips around this thumb, scraping your teeth against it and lapping your tongue across it just like you do on his dick. You take great pleasure in the way he twitches inside you, his grip on your waist tightening and his thrusts coming a bit faster.

He looks at you with burning eyes as he circles his hips into you. Pieces of his hair stick to his neck from the sweat, and his plump lips part with the marvel of having you spread out beneath him. He replaces his thumb with his lips yet again, dipping his tongue into your mouth and biting your bottom lip until it threatens to bleed.

Liquid heat radiates through your lower body as Taemin’s shaft keeps dragging in and out of you, and your legs weaken around his waist as you get closer to reaching your end. Before you can be pushed to the top of that shining zenith of pleasure, though, Taemin abruptly pulls out of you.

“No,” you whine breathlessly. That is the only sound your vocal chords can currently push out, though you’d like to throw a slew of curse words at him. He only smiles at your soft complaint and lowers his head for a second to kiss your kneebone, a fleeting but tender touch.

Without forewarning, Taemin shifts you over on the bed so you’re both positioned in front of the full-length mirror leaning against your wall. Pulling your head back, he brings your face up so you can see the both of you reflected in the mirror—Taemin’s hand coaxingly pressing your back into an arch, his hair hanging damp over his shoulders. Then he pushes back into you, sliding to the hilt in one easy motion, and you almost bite your lip before realizing it’s still hurting from Taemin’s insistent biting.

To your own eyes you already look exhausted, all fucked out and simply taking Taemin’s thrusts as he gives them. Taemin’s had the right idea, though, because you can’t take your eyes away from the vision of him behind you. You watch as all his muscles flex while he pushes into you, his eyes hotly meeting yours in the mirror, and his lips twitch up into a grin.

“What a beautiful sight,” he sighs, and he’s barely even breathless even with all the sweat decorating his skin. Exactly what fucking a professional dancer will get you—nothing but stamina and hips.

You grip the sheets as you stare back at Taemin as he fucks you, feeling a little exposed but ultimately captivated by it. The hand that was in your hair slides lower and around to your collarbone, coming to rest at the base of your throat. Taemin keeps his hand there to feel your throat jump underneath his fingers as you swallow harshly and gasp in response to his thrusts.

Taemin gives a shuddering groan when you tighten more around him, and he pushes forward a little deeper, the tip of his cock hitting your spot just right. Your head drops momentarily as you cry out, and you think your knees might turn to jelly beneath you. “Oh, yes. There? There.” Taemin murmurs this all in quick succession as he adjusts himself to find that perfect angle again and keeps rutting into it, one hand tight on your hip and the other still at your throat—now coming up to cup your chin and pull your face back up towards the mirror.

“Min,” escapes from your lips, though it’s a choppy sound. If you wanted to say anything else, you wouldn’t even be able to.

“Poor baby, you can’t even form words. Is it that fucking good? Tell me.” Taemin entices you to meet his gaze in the mirror again, squeezing his hand on your jaw and pressing his thumb against your lips like he’ll slip it back in once more. It takes you a moment of heavy breaths and clumsy not-quite-coherent sounds to respond.

“G-good,” you mutter against his hand. “Fuck me, oh my God—”

You come around Taemin with a small shout. He gives you a bit of reprieve and lets you hang your head back down—because right now your whole body feels like it wants to collapse with the muscle-weakening wave of pleasure that’s overtaken you. More little clipped sounds and pleas leap from your throat as Taemin fucks you through it, dangerously close to losing himself, too.

He keels over you with a gasping moan when he comes, his dick throbbing inside you while he spills so much cum that some of it drips back out. His heated breaths spread across your skin as he leans over you, bracing his arms on either side of your body and thrusting his hips just a little more to ride out the last of his climax.

Finally, you allow your body to slump forward, and Taemin slides out of you as you do, causing another messy trail of his cum to drip from you. His hand glides over your back, and he makes a noise that you could only describe as fully satisfied. “My favorite view.”

—

You and Taemin lie next to each other, your right arm nudging his left, his fingers playing over the back of your hand and making it tickle from the gentle touches. When the pillowtalk starts fading, you decide to bring up the one thing that’s been wearing on your mind since Taemin first called.

“Taemin...are we going to do this every time you pop into the city for a few days? A week?” You ask this quietly while Taemin traces long, winding lines over your forearm.

The motion of his fingers stop, and he looks carefully at the side of your face as you lie next to him. “Do you not like our little meetings anymore?” His tone is joking, but there’s an air of sadness to it not far behind.

“I didn’t say all that, but…” You pause. “We only ever get a few moments together. A day or two. Stealing hours to spend together, working on borrowed time...it’s not my idea of the perfect...arrangement.” You hesitate before saying arrangement, unsure how to describe this odd, magnetic connection you both have without making it deeper than it really is. A stiff silence hangs in the air, waiting to be broken by either of you.

Because you’re not sure—no, you definitely know that what you and Taemin have can’t really be called a relationship. What do you have?

“You’re always gone because of your work, and...that’s fine, I know how hard you work and you like always having something to do, but…” You want to say something like, I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to be away from you all the damn time. Those words have too much weight of responsibility behind them, however. They have the power to change things in a way you aren’t sure you want them to change—or that you’re still too afraid of.

“...And you miss me? More than just the sex, I mean.” Taemin’s voice is still a touch playful, though that quality is quickly dwindling away. His eyes fill with some emotion that’s more thoughtful and more saddened than just a few minutes ago. He is not quite ready for this conversation to turn to a depressing note, but he figures there’s no avoiding it this time.

“You always ask questions you already have answers to, Taemin.”

Taemin sighs. “I know it must be unfair to you...but I can’t stay away from you.” He hesitates, and the space between his eyebrows creases. “I think about you a lot more than I maybe should. I like your conversation and your company...even all the ridiculous jokes you make. But...”

You grit your teeth, clenching your fingers together and listening to Taemin’s words. “‘But…’? What are you trying to say?”

“I don’t want to keep you waiting around for me,” he answers softly. “If we were together, you’d always just be waiting for the next time to see me.”

“I already do that,” you grumble, feeling irritated and misunderstood.

“But—if we...it would be different—”

“You’d feel worse about leaving your partner behind rather than someone you just fuck, I guess?”

Taemin lets out a heavy breath and closes his eyes. “Don’t make me sound like such an asshole.”

“I haven’t made you sound like anything, or made you do anything,” you say bitterly, keeping your eyes on the ceiling as you speak. “It’s you, after all, who always feels the need to tell me when you’re back in town. I don’t ask after you, Taemin.” Because I would only ever ask for something you can’t seem to give me.

“So I’ll ask again. Do you not want to do this anymore?”

This man is possibly too dense for your nerves to withstand. And even though it would probably be better for you to say yes, to end this for your own good—and his own, even if he doesn’t realize it just yet—you don’t want this to stop. Being needed by him, even for something as simple as sex and as complicated as emotions that neither of you quite know how to confront, is something you don’t want to give up. Even if it gives you very little in return.

“That’s the wrong question to ask.” You sit up, letting the sheets pool around your waist. Taemin follows you, pressing his chest to your back as he slides his arms around your stomach, and you lower your head, wishing you weren’t so vulnerable to his advances. Taemin presses his mouth to your shoulder in an apologetic touch, and the feel of his lips makes something fall apart inside you.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. Sorry I can’t be there for you like you want me to be, maybe. You don’t know what he’s apologizing for, and you don’t care to ask at the moment.

You turn to face him. “Just stop. I don’t want to think about it anymore.” Then you push him back onto the bed, straddling him with both legs on either side of his waist. “Just. Stop. Talking.”

And so Taemin wordlessly lets you reignite the flame, working yourselves up into a mishmash of hands and mouths and bodies again, leaving so many words unsaid between the two of you.

—

with breathless lips, you paint my name with sorrow countless times this night

—

#taemin smut #taemin angst #taemin fic #taemin scenarios #taemin imagines #superm scenarios #superm imagines #superm fic #superm angst #superm smut #shinee smut #shinee fic #shinee angst #shinee imagines #shinee scenarios #gn reader #gender neutral reader

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 309: Gotta Go My Own Way

Previously on BnHA: Muscular was all “well if it isn’t the protagonist on his solo journey of self-discovery, for some reason I’m unironically glad I get to fight you!” Deku was all “hey Muscular before I finish kicking your ass would you please take a moment to answer these two survey questions? Question one, do you regret being a total piece of shit? And question two, if you could do anything at all in the world other than being a total piece of shit, would you?” Muscular was all, “pfft, no and no.” Deku was all, “thanks buddy, your feedback helps make me a better hero, here’s a coupon for fifteen percent off your next ass-whooping.” Then he whooped his ass.

Today on BnHA: Deku is all “what up All Might can you believe you’ve been here this entire time?” All Might is all “I sure can since that’s literally my catch phrase, anyway how are your magic movie 1 gauntlets holding up?” Deku is all “they’re holding up fine, how are Hawks, Endeavor, and Best Jeanist doing?” Hawks, Endeavor, and Best Jeanist are all “we, your fellow co-conspirators, are also doing fine, thanks for asking!” Flashback!Deku is all “anyway so I secretly have All Might’s quirk and the most dangerous people in the world are after me, so sorry mom but that’s why I’m dropping out of school.” Inko is all “I CAN’T ACCEPT THAT” while totally accepting it. All Might is all “I GUESS WE’LL JUST HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH IT SINCE I DON’T FEEL LIKE TRYING TO STOP HIM.” Hawks, Jeanist, and Endeavor, as previously mentioned, are all “yeah that sounds like a good plan”, and Gran is all “see ya kid, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” So basically everyone in the entire world has suddenly teamed up with Deku to defeat AFO, except for the one person whose entire foreshadowed endgame is “teaming up with Deku to defeat AFO.” O Kacchan where art thou.

dear tumblr image limit: okay look. you don’t like me, and I don’t like you. but just as an experiment, I’m gonna try writing this recap with as few images as possible and we’ll see how it goes

(ETA: spoilers for how it went: it didn’t, lol.)

oh my god WHY ARE WE OPENING WITH MORE KETSUBUTSU ACADEMY KIDS.ffs we’d better at least finally get some Ms. Joke content out of this

(ETA: seriously who do I have to bribe.)

so these two KB kids who no one cares about are watching Deku leap away from the scene after dispatching Muscular. but more importantly wtf is this chapter title omg. “I can’t stay being a child” so that’s how it is huh. we’re gonna have feels and we’re going to like them. well then

oh my god he’s hauling Muscular away dhfksklfkh okay this is gonna have to be our first image because I can’t fucking help myself. look at this

just. Deku is so tiny and he’s carting away this massive unconscious lump of a man like it’s nothing why is this so funny to me. it’s like when people buy furniture, and they don’t want to pay extra for delivery and so they’re like, “I can definitely fit this king-sized mattress in the back of my compact sedan if I fold the fucking seat down, idk.” and they refuse to be talked out of it, and the next thing you know you’re watching them drive home with their open trunk door haphazardly tied down with bungee cords, and somehow it fucking works. because it turns out the compact sedan has super strength

anyway for SOME REASON now Horikoshi is all “have fun with that Deku, meanwhile we now return you to your regularly scheduled SHINDOU CONTENT” whyyyyyy

look at this. we’re really using up a whole fucking entire page on everyone arguing over who gets the honor of carrying Shindou

love how the civilians are all, “shit lol is this actually our fault?? quick, how do we play this off all casual like we were the reasonable parties here all along”

turns out all it took to finally get them to listen was making them watch while a kid got his insides ground into a pulp because of their stupidity!! what a heartwarming conclusion to this little standoff

anyways THANK GOD we’re cutting back to Deku now!! well actually we’re cutting back to Muscular who is being dropped off at the police precinct, good bye and good riddance lol

so Deku’s leaving him there and bounding away and okjdlSKFJLKJDSL OH MY GOD

no fucking way. no fucking way this little jaunt is All Might-sanctioned and approved. are you serious?? then who else is in on this?? what the hell is going on

so All Might is just WAITING FOR HIM IN AN ALLEY FFF WHO ARE YOU, JIM GORDON. or would Alfred be a better analogy here?? but like, Alfred if he ditched the suit for a moto jacket and shades

this new ensemble of All Might’s may or may not severely impact my ability to take this forthcoming conversation seriously; please stand by

also, quite the spectacular landing there, Deku. seriously lol what was that

“HOW ARE YOUR LIMBS” “THANKS TO YOU THEY’RE COMPLETELY FINE” I’M SORRY WHAT

LOL WHAT. “THANKS TO THE POWER OF THESE MAGIC GLOVES” OH I SEE THAT EXPLAINS IT

are these the same gauntlets from the first movie, then? well that’s all well and good, except that now there’s going to be more Deku Discourse than fucking ever lol. so if it’s all the same to you guys, I’m gonna once again go ahead and declare this week’s post a discourse-free zone, at least when it comes to the specific discourse of Deku’s merits as a MC, and the impact that him kicking ass and having working arms has on said merits. this has been something of a low mental energy week for me, so I’d rather reserve the energy I do have for more fun topics, such as All Might’s bitchin’ leather jacket

anyway so All Might’s saying that the gauntlets will help reinforce Deku’s arms, but they can’t withstand OFA at 100%. so basically it’s a support item designed to maintain the status quo lol. we’re basically in the same situation we were before, arm-capability-wise

homg All Might’s getting a call. time to see who else is in on Operation: Deku Alone?? or not so alone for that matter

omg

HI HAWKS, WHERE ARE YOUR WINGS

(ETA: seriously are they really gone for good?? why would he even be back on active duty then?? does he have his own American ex-boyfriend who can hook him up with exclusive support items?? dammit Horikoshi we want answers.)

looks like Jeanist and Endeavor are teaming up as well, just like they said they would. I would gladly follow this trio around all day long tbh

is this the same giant villain from the very first chapter??

looks like it to me, and it would tie in with that callback from the end of chapter 306. we all thought that was Muscular, but maybe it was this guy, and Deku left these three to deal with him while he ran off to take Muscular down

oh my god now Deku is running off again just like that

kids these days

ffffff I have not had nearly enough sleep to follow along with whatever tf Hawks is talking about here sob

like, is he trying to say that All Might is keeping Deku’s whereabouts unknown to anyone except for him?? in order to keep him safe?? but Hawks is pointing out that that’s a bad strategy and probably won’t do shit against AFO and it’s better if he lets Deku work with the rest of them?

(ETA: so @hanashimas​’ translation makes a lot more sense -- it’s not All Might who’s being overprotective, but Deku. in other words he’s trying not to drag All Might into his battles. and in addition Hawks is saying that their strategy is to take the offensive and go after AFO themselves rather than wait for him to come to them. which I’m not too sure about myself, but that’s another topic for another day.)

btw I can’t help thinking how much better this entire conversation would be if All Might was still wearing his sunglasses. put them back on my dude. it’s not too late. embrace your inner badass

DKLJSLDKFJL FLASHBACK ALERT, FUCKING FINALLY

“turns out, we were just trying to scare you straight. fuck lot of good that did though lol”

also what is this. one true love: the hospital bed. is that a scanlator joke or is Horikoshi actually that funny omg

SKLJDFLJLK

ITSA ME!! omg I love this hospital so much. though it’s sure not helping me in my quest to try and keep this post below ten images. I’m already up to eleven haha r.i.p. to me if tumblr doesn’t get its shit together

whaaaaaat, so he’s saying that Deku’s injuries were external (i.e. Tomura beating the shit out of him) rather than internal this time?? whaaaaat. excuse me but that’s some bullshit lmao. believe me, I was there

okay now he’s going on to explain that Deku’s “internal structure” seems to have been protected from the inside and out, and the corresponding panel seems to be implying that using Blackwhip as a brace paid off. huh

and also that his body is just stronger now?? so I guess he’s better able to withstand the quirk after an additional year of training?? I’M NOT SURE IF I BUY ANY OF THIS LOL but I’m willing to suspend my disbelief

OH MY GOD RED ALERT, INKO IS ASKING ALL MIGHT TO EXPLAIN WTAF DEKU’S QUIRK IS, IS IT FINALLY THAT TIME OMGGGG

SO HE’S EXPLAINING IT TO HER OFF-SCREEN, AND INKO IS JUST LIKE

I GUESS THAT’S FAIR LOL. IT’S TRUE INKO I’M SO SORRY, YOUR SON IS A PROGATONIST R.I.P.

AHHKKJH DEKU ANGST IS IT FINALLY THAT TIME OMGGGGGG

what is this soft pop beat that’s suddenly being pumped in over the speakers. I’VE GOT TO MOVE ON~ AND BE WHO~ I~ AM~~~, I JUST DON’T BELONG HERE, I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAND. also, follow-up question, when is Kacchan finally going to come back so he can jump in with the “WHAT ABOUT US~~~” bridge, huh. come the fuck on, Horikoshi

lmao All Might jesus christ

but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision...

anyway, yes!! finally that sweet, sweet “I don’t want to put anyone else in danger” angst!!

mmm that’s good angst Brent. Kacchan with center panel honors as usual, you love to see it. anyways though who do I have to yell at to get Deku a goddamn HUG around here seriously

so Inko is of course reacting with panic, and sensibly saying that she doesn’t approve of Deku’s “RUN AWAY AND FIGHT THE BAD GUYS ALL ON MY OWN, DON’T WORRY MOM I’LL JUST GET STRONGER, EASY AS PIE, IT’S A FOOLPROOF STRATEGY” plan

son of a bitch this manipulative green asshole is really gonna sit here and smile fondly at his mom and try to convince her that he’s Not A Little Kid Anymore. the hell you’re not mister

y'all are really just gonna sit there and let him talk you into this?? surely it can’t be that easy??

OH MY GOD

THE FEELS oh my god oh my god. BUT ALSO YOU’RE SERIOUSLY JUST GOING TO COLLAPSE INTO HIS ARMS SOBBING AND LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS LKJLJLFK. WHERE ARE ALL THE STRICT PARENTS AT?? AIZAWA, GANG ORCA, MITSUKI, SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND TELL DEKU TO SIT HIS ASS THE FUCK DOWN. NOW LISTEN HERE YOUNG MAN!!

“EVEN IF I TRY TO STOP YOU YOU’LL STILL LEAVE” WELL SURE, IF BY “TRY TO STOP HIM” YOU MEAN POLITELY TRY TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT FOR THREE SECONDS. HE’S SIXTEEN WTF WHEN DID HE BECOME THE BOSS OF YOU ALL. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME AND TELL HIM HE’S GROUNDED

anyway sob so that’s the story of how Deku talked his parents into letting him drop out of school, and even convinced All Might to be his own personal Guy In The Chair. holy shit. this kid really went and rolled a nat 20 and the rest of them had no choice but to fold without argument

meanwhile here’s a panel of Best Jeanist trying to braid his phone into his hair just cuz

I’m dying to know which part of his language he considers to be crude here. you literally didn’t even use a contraction my guy

so now flashback!Deku is talking to Gran in the dark, and Gran is all “can you believe I’m not fucking dead yet lol that’s too funny. anyway, you sure I can’t interest you in killing Tomura after all?? no?? okay then here’s my cape.” truly a heartwarming scene

I’m kind of torn here tbh. on the one hand, my adhd ass wasn’t all that interested in sitting down and having an extended scene between these two when there’s so much else that I want to get to. but on the other hand, even I can admit that cramming this entire reunion into a single page seems just a BIT rushed. idk. like maybe someone can let Horikoshi know it’s a marathon and not a race. Deku didn’t even get any dialogue here, some of us want to know his thoughts!! but anyway

AND JUST LIKE THAT?!

how did all four of them let him con them into this. I literally just watched it happen and I still can’t figure out how. “I GUESS THIS SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT IS OUR LEADER NOW” ffflfjf. when Aizawa finds out he’s gonna go apeshit. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU KATSUKI, WHO I HAVE BEEN ASSURED DOES IN FACT STILL EXIST. WHAT ABOUT USSSSS, WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH. WHAT ABOUT TRUST???! YOU KNOW I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOUUUUU

btw lol don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying this, and I’m honestly glad Deku’s not alone because that would suck for him! but that said, Hawks and Jeanist have lost any credibility they might have once had as far as being The Responsible Ones, and as for All Might and Endeavor, fucking hell lol. everyone just deposited all of their fucks in a bank somewhere for safekeeping and decided to never look back. godspeed you mad lads

#bnha 309 #midoriya izuku #all might #midoriya inko #gran torino #hawks #best jeanist #endeavor #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #petition for kacchan to form his own dynamic battle squad whose sole purpose is hunting down deku and talking some sense into him #if deku gets to drop out of school and make his own rules than so do we #what do you say icyhot are you in #actually can you just text your dad and ask him where deku is #maybe save us all some trouble

[itsthemysteryofthedroods]

Found this in my drafts, for some reason I just didn't post it? I don't even know what I was on when I wrote this but...Yay... I guess?

I just had a theory about the stabbing scene: Melanie wasn't upset he stabbed her instead of himself because it was a silent agreement (note that she asks if they're gone now; she likely realized about the vow as Halligan stabbed her/yelled "The vow is broken").

There is the general opinion outside the fandom that this was done out of selfishness. I would like to argue the opposite. Here's why: Halligan doesn't have great self-preservation instincts, and doesn't seem to have much of a reason to avoid stabbing himself. Remember that Halligan doesn't seem to mind crossing the bridge on a very unstable board, close to falling into the pits of nowhere. Halligan is very reckless. Self-serving, sure, to an extent, but not that much; I mean, he really doesn't have much of a reason to be following through with the case at this point to begin with, remember.

Say what you will about Halligan, but he also listens to Melanie when she tells him something, so it's likely that when she said "Don't you ever do that to me again, Brent!" at Twelve Bridges, he interpreted the "that" to mean "put yourself in danger", and thus decided to TRY to avoid it as much as possible. When Melanie gets upset about what he did at the mansion when he was brainwashed, she only basically says "Don't you ever hit me like that again" if I remember correctly, therefore, stabbing her is...actually fair game in the situation at the end of the game.

Halligan took her words to heart. He doesn't care about the risk to him, he was worried about upsetting her by doing so. Being the way he is, to him there was no sense in thinking about this the standard "self-sacrificial way" here, especially after she said that herself. Melanie is pretty understanding of the Halligan's views, such as when Melanie pleads with Halligan to surrender to Serstan, but when Halligan gives a reason why he won't, Melanie's not upset. She's also a smart lady, and probably saw Halligan's vow thing as a way to escape the situation, even if she didn't know how he would do it. And it's part of the reason why this scene, as crazy as it seems from the outside, can work well from this angle. Neither of them follows the expected rules here, and hey, it works out in the end, doesn't it?

It's also why Melanie didn't take his actions as malicious, even during the initial shock. She herself didn't want him to put himself on the line, and trusted him enough to know what to do after regardless, because she knows that Halligan probably will not just let her die. She doesn't want to be alone, either, and she wants to know he's okay. So really, what I'm saying is: There is a dynamic here that goes unspoken and that is never taken into consideration when analyzing this scene.

I realize this is pretty out there, even by MOTD standards, but it's an interesting take on this probably unintentionally strange sequence.

#I HAVE COME SUCH A LONG WAY? I USED TO BE CONFUSED AT THIS SCENE AND NOW I'M PRAISING IT? #My God. I must sound insane to anyone outside the MOTD fandom. #GOIN FULL ON CRAZY NOW #This theory is definitely sort of...unique. #But somehow it came to me while listening to MOTD voice lines. Again. #This fandom is so observant and that is so hot of us #hot always meaning house of tales of course #Twelve Bridges #MOTD #MOTD theory #MOTD analysis #The mystery of the druids #mystery of the druids #Serstan's Vow #brent halligan #melanie turner #Honestly I see Halligan as pretty literal minded in that sense. This is exactly how I would have weighed my options. #*cough* ND drood-

[xginata]

Heartbeats & Vibrations

Prompt: Gamer!Kiri, he was in a COD game with the rest of the bakusquad and you’d just gotten home from a very shitty day at work.

Warnings: M. HEAVY overstimulation/edging; toy play, sensation play, light bondage.

[!] Written to: Rehab by Brent Faiyaz, West Side by Ariana Grande, Bad Girl by A Boogie, Nasty by Ariana Grande

Notes: I really couldn’t picture this with anyone else but Kirishima aka pebble boy. I hope y’all enjoy!

ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

You sat in your car, quickly gathering your thoughts and feelings in. You knew Kiri was in game right now, his stream was playing quietly in your car. He was just up and coming and you made sure to support him as much as you could. The last thing you wanted to do was accidentally cause a scene in front of his viewers, especially since he always asked for you to watch him stream and you loved doing that with him when you could.

Once you tried your hardest to appear like your regular self, you made your way up to your apartment and quietly walked in. You could hear Kiri start calling out your name from his streaming room, “Everyone! I think my beautiful, amazing girlfriend is home.” You heard him say, making your heart swell.

Your feet felt heavy as you walked into yours and Kiri’s bedroom first to change into something more comfortable. You still felt on the verge of tear and you tried your hardest to keep them in. It was just one of those days, even though you cried your whole way home it didn’t make you feel any better.

You let a couple tears fall, unable to keep them in and once again waited until you were able to put on at least a neutral expression before entering his streaming room.

Kiri had your spot set up, you’d have another gaming chair next to him, with your little set up. Kiri had made sure to stuff the basket next to your chair with a bunch of snacks. You absolutely loved this, even though he was streaming he’d still want you around him, and you were perfectly fine just sitting and watching, replying to chat for him or even playing animal crossing next to him as he played COD. It was your way to unwind as well, but today was different. It was difficult for you to let Kiri know that you needed him sometimes, and tonight was the same. You promised you’d bite your tongue for now, and not bother him during stream.

However, your emotions were easy to read, and even his chat noticed.

“Kiri, is y/n, okay??” One comment read.

“She looks upset.” Comments like this start flooding in and you started to panic. You didn’t want to ruin his stream.

“Wow, why is she bringing such bad energy in here. I don’t want to look at her sad face.” One comment chimed in, making your eyes well up.

Kiri’s whole mood changed, his character wasn’t moving anymore, instead he was reading through the comments, and then looked at you. That sent you over the edge, your tears escaped and you bolted out of your chair and into your bedroom.

“I don’t appreciate comments like yours, everyone who is being rude to y/n right now, please get the fuck off of my future streams. Honestly, it sounds shitty to say but I don’t care for “fans” like you. To all of you who are genuinely concerned for y/n, thank you. I’m getting off stream to take care of my babygirl.” He said sternly and ended his stream.

“I have to go.” He said in his in-game voice chat.

“Go! I’m gonna chew these fucking bastards out right now for saying that shit about y/n.” Bakugo said and the rest of the Bakusquad followed to defend you.

You were curled up, in a ball unaware of what was being said. You gripped tightly to Kiri’s pillow, you were so ashamed and embarrassed for ruining his stream. Your cheeks were flushed, your nose was stuffy and the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

There was a soft knock on your bedroom door, “Pebble? I’m coming in, okay?” he said as he opened the door. You hummed in response.

Your eyes were closed but you could feel him staring at you. When you were able to open your already puffy eyes, he was at eye level. He was kneeled in front of you, next to the bed.

“What happened pebble?” He asked and all you could do was avoid eye contact with him. 

“You can tell me if your comfortable, if you don’t want to that’s okay too. Can I cuddle you?” He was treating you softly, he knew how sensitive you we’re probably feeling right now and how embarrassed you were probably feeling but not for the same reasons you thought.

While you were beating yourself up for ruining his stream, he was beating himself up for not having noticed you were feeling upset. He felt like a terrible partner, he felt like you were upset with him. And he knew you probably didn’t like your emotions being put on full blast in front of his stream, and for that he felt guilty. Had he not asked you to join his stream that night, you probably wouldn’t have shown such private feelings to over 500k viewer, but if you hadn’t gone in, he probably wouldn’t have noticed that you were upset. Either way, Kirishima felt like he failed you. 

He climb into bed with you and positioned himself to be the big spoon, his body engulfed yours and for once that night you felt better. You had plenty of time to sit with your thoughts and finally decided you were ready to talk, however, before you could let out a word Kirishima started, “I’m so sorry pebble. I feel like I’ve let you down, and I’m so sorry. I should’ve noticed you were feeling upset. I should’ve known how you felt.” His voice cracked.

“But you couldn’t have known, you’re not a mind reader Kiri and I know that. I should’ve told you how I felt but I didn’t want you to cut your stream short because of me, and now, I embarrassed you in front of your fans.” You said.

“You come first, you didn’t embarrass me. I think I embarrassed you actually. And I'm still so sorry. Will you tell me what happened?”

“I mixed up some documents that were for a very important shareholders meeting and I got chewed out for it. Then the rest of the work day I just kept fucking up. When I was driving home I cried it out so I didn’t feel too upset getting home but it didn’t work.” You said feeling guilty for ruining his night.

“You don’t have to do that, you can always come to me and the streams and the fans or whatever can wait. You’re more important to me. Before we keep going back and forth saying sorry, because we both know that will happen, just believe me when I say you don’t have to worry about closing off your emotions with me.” Kirishima finished off, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“You’ve been so supportive of me since I became a full-time streamer and I’ve taken advantage of that. From now, I’ll make sure to have finished streaming before you come to work. Let me take your mind off of things and make the rest of the night better.” He said, his choice of words sending a tingle down your spine.

“Get undressed.” He instructed and you did as you were told. He had taken off his shirt off, leaving him in only his grey sweat, that seem to hang off his hips just perfectly showing the band of his boxers. Just the view of his toned abs and his v-line was enough to have you drooling.

He grabbed your blindfold from your nightstand, the one you’d occasionally use when you went to sleep. He motioned for you to sit up, “I’m gonna take care of you tonight.” He slid the blindfold on and let you adjust it comfortably.

“Don’t take it off.” You jumped slightly when you heard his command against your ear.

He sauntered out of your bedroom and into his game area, he grabbed his disconnected headset and made his way back to the bedroom. Still ignoring your blushing, naked body he walked to the dresser in the corner of the room, reached down to the bottom drawer and pulled out what he would need for tonight. He grabbed the cotton rope and cuff set, along with two other toys. He looked back at your ready body, letting his tongue dip out and licked his lips in anticipation. 

His touch surprised you, making you whine involuntarily. You felt soft fur cuffs positioned and tightened comfortably on your ankles, he gently flexed your right leg and wrapped the cotton rope around the middle for your thigh, then did the same for the right leg. Your cunt was on full display, only for him, you were already wet just from getting bound. 

Once you were tied up, he positioned himself to sit directly behind you. He adjusted your body against his so his legs were on either side of yours, slightly bent and your head resting comfortably on his chest. 

”I’m gonna put on the headset. If you want it off, use the safe word.” Kiri said. 

“Yes.” You replied. 

He put his headset on you, muffling all the background noises. All you could hear was the beating of your heart, you could feel the pounding of his behind your head.

Your back arched slightly, and your mouth opened as you inhaled sharply at the sensation of his finger dancing down your stomach. He stopped just above your folds, playfully tracing small circles around your core.

You were already writhing, trying to get his finger to brush even your lips, but to your dismay he took his hand away completely. Once again you were panting in anticipation, what would he do next? Where would he start touching you? Would he run his fingers down your arms, then up again and down your nipples? Would he instantly give you the touch you so desperately craved?

!

You could hear your own heartbeat again, your breathing leveled and your body calmed down. Once Kirishima noticed your senses come back down to your own bodily awareness he reached his hand down over your core, you swear you could feel the emanating heat from his hand on your wet cunt.

You bit down on your lip, your hips involuntarily bucking upwards. Kirishima wouldn’t give you the satisfaction, quickly jerking his hand back. You were desperate at this point, you wanted release.

“Please.” You moaned quietly. Kirishima smirked.

He’d finally had enough teasing you... for now. He snaked his hand down your stomach once more, gaining the same reaction as the first time. You readied yourself for when he’d ultimately decline your pleads, but when he didn’t stop you let out a small cry.

His hand covered your wet cunt, his hand laid there for a second until he felt you buck your hips up once more. He moved his hand up, flat against your cunt, his middle finger parting your wet folds.

“Fuck.” Kiri whispered to himself, small whines escaping your lips.

His other hand joined in parting your folds, his right middle finger connected to your sensitive clit. He rolled his finger in small, slow circles as his left middle finger teased your entrance. That alone could make you come.

You longed to hear his breath and his dirty words that you knew he was holding in.

“Sapphire.” You said loud enough for him to hear you. You prepared yourself for his hands to leave your core. His hands stopped working you and he took off the headset.

“Okay, pebble?” He asked.

“I wanted...to hear you.” You whimpered as he left a kiss to your temple.

“You want to hear me tell you how good you’re doing? Hmm?” His hands resumed to pleasure you. You hummed in response.

His finger teasingly entered your core, you groaned in frustration at his teasing. He chuckled lightly at your reaction, finally giving you the satisfaction as his finger entered your core. You arched your back at the sensation as his finger motioned a “come here,” movement in your aching core.

“You have to tell me when you’re almost there, okay pebble? Don’t keep it from me or else, I’ll have to punish you for lying.” He whispered against your ear.

He slowly inserted his pointer finger, joining into the small movement. Your breathing became erratic, your hips moving slowly against the rhythm of his fingers, supplying more friction.

“Tell me baby, are you gonna come?” he asked once again.

You protested, shaking your head. You knew what he would do if you said yes and you weren’t ready for his fingers to stop their sweet movements.

“Are you lying to me?” He growled into your ear and you shook your head again.

“Bad pebble.” Your climax was cut short, both of his hands escaped your heat.

“Suck.” His wet fingers were pushed onto your tongue, surprising you. You sucked and lapped around his fingers.

His free hand reached to the first toy. He took out his fingers and replaced it with the toy, the cold, velvet silicone making you flinch slightly but you welcomed it. Kiri pulled it out slowly, earning a small “pop.”

He pressed it down slowly onto your entrance, keeping an arm pressed against your stomach to keep you from bucking your hips. He would drag out your first climax as long as he could.

The tip of the lilac butterfly vibrator disappeared into your entrance, butterfly design was flush against your heat. Your clit was pinched between the small antennae designed for clitoral stimulation.

He let you sit with the vibrator in, not yet turning it on. Finally, when your breathing leveled, he clicked it on with the small remote.

One hand kept the vibrator secure to your core, as the other cupped your jaw.

“You like that?”

“You like that vibrator in you?“

“Yeah, you deserve it baby.” He spoke in between breaths, his breathing mimicked yours. Not one word left your lips, only moans and cries out for him.

“Don’t come yet, baby.” He struggled to keep you down, your hips jerking forcefully.

“I have to.” You cried out, instantly regretting it when the hand that was securing the vibrator, moved the vibrator out.

Your cunt was visibly throbbing, involuntary hip jerks following

“I love that heartbeat.” He whispered, leaving a kiss to your temple.

He grabbed one of your hand and guided your fingers to reach down your wet cunt, gathering moisture on them and bringing them to his lips this time.

“You taste so good.” He hummed. Your hand wrapped back around his bicep as it has been. You were sure his biceps were probably red and sore from you clawing and squeezing around them.

Kiri grabbed the next toy, positioned it onto your clit and clicked it on, shocking you once more, making your moan out loudly.

“You come when I tell you to come.” He demanded.

He positioned to fingers to your entrance, just barely entering your core. His fingers felt as they were being sucked into your folds.

The heavy vibration and the sensation of his fingers rubbing up on your cunt were too much, you could felt the familiar coil in your stomach. Your climax was nearing and you needed it this time.

“Please, let me come.” You begged.

“You can come, but you have to look at me when you do.” Your hand immediately reached up to your blind fold, peeling it off and sending it flying across the room.

You tilted your head and met his eyes. His cheeks and lips were flushed, his red hair stuck to parts of his sweat covered forehead. His chest tightened behind you, as did his biceps.

“Come for me.”

“Come on these fingers, baby.” Kiri kept his eyes on yours. Your stomach tightened once more, your back arched and your hips moved against his fingers, that were flushed against your core, making the same motion as before. You tried your best to keep your eyes on him as you rode out your orgasm, but you failed as they rolled back.

The vibration stopped, his finger gently pulled out of your cunt and the rhythm of your hips slowly stopped. Your stomach felt hot, your breathing slowed. Your eyes fluttering open, Kiri was still staring at you.

“You look so beautiful when you come.” He kissed your temple.

After you both calmed your breathing, he undid your ties and cleaned you up. You fell asleep that night wrapped in his arms.

#gamer!kiri #kirishima ejirou #kirishima x y/n #ejirou x reader #kirishima smut #bnha smut #bnha kirishima

[sukunahz]

i.  been away .

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: what would you do? / a03

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your old friend, eren yeager had been gone for almost an entire year and you and your friends have all but moved on with life. in fact you have barely given him a second thought -- but when he returns, he's not the same passionate frat-boy you once knew; he's a stranger now.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.6k words

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, oral, fingering, eren is kinda’ mean, mentions of alcohol, intoxication and drugs. based on the absolute banger been away by brent faiyaz. i posted this on a03 two months ago and i swear every week my writing changes and when i look back i’m ashamed. i swear the chapters get better 😩

You were barely paying attention to the conversation around you, you were idly fiddling with your completely empty cup since Sasha and Connie had been arguing about the same thing for the past 20 minutes. You knew it was because they had both been tiptoeing around something; they were keeping something from you. What did you expect from the two people closest to you, but you weren't a sensitive, little baby bird? In fact, you had forced yourself to not shed tears over a night that was so insignificant that there was no point for these two to continue on with this desperate charade. “He’s back. Isn’t he?” You stated bluntly, your words were viciously slicing at their conversation. They both remained silent; their clear discomfort was painted vividly onto their expressions as they exchanged worried glances between each other. Eren had been gone for so long that he had faded from you and your friends’ lives completely, he was so easily displaced from your thoughts in such a short amount of time and you had felt the least bit of guilt for it. Time marches on, not even Eren would be able to bend time to his will. Your friends had adjusted to life without their friend, but you could sense the discomfort in celebrating Connie’s birthday in his absence.

“Apparently.” Sasha replied, her gaze darted towards the door as if his return was some impending doom, like a devastating natural disaster that would upset the balance of everything. You wanted to be confused as to why they were hiding this from you, but you knew full well that with the way he disappeared – you would be counting down the days till he returned. Sasha and Connie knew that you were now a minefield and one misstep by anyone would illicit a violently ruinous reaction from you.

“He’s not the same.” Connie added, interrupting your train of thought. “You know how he left… he's -- he's not the same guy.” There was a silence after that, you had lost the energy to keep fighting them about Eren. You could see the disillusion drain into Connie’s face, you weren’t the only one who Eren left, in fact – it was everyone in this room that he had left behind. Those two were inseparable a year ago and now it seemed like Connie could barely string together a sincere sentence about Eren. You couldn’t keep recounting your history with them, a history that was so minuscule that you had no right to expect anything from him -- right? You forced the two to return to their idle conversations, doing anything to drag the conversation away from someone that you had tried so hard to put behind you. There was load music droning through the common area accompanied by smoke from Jean’s vape that was dancing wistfully near the window.

You heard a pause in the atmosphere in the room, there was a break in the cluttered chatter of the house. There he was, speak of the devil -- Eren had finally returned after an entire year, surrounded by a group of people who carried the same troubled and unsettling demeanour as him. You had to force every muscle in your body not to respond to him, since all he did was glance languidly your way before he joined a group of people in the other corner of the room. You felt nimble fingers press a comforting touch upon your thighs as she was still engrossed in her conversation with Connie. “Don’t.” Sasha whispered to you; her gaze was still straight ahead. You scoffed at her warning; she knew you all too well, just how easily you were able to get tangled into Eren’s web.

“I won’t.”

You weren’t over Eren because there was nothing to get over, you had no feelings for him, and not a single thing would change just how much of a brazen jackass he was. The timing of your pep-talk with yourself couldn’t have been better since Eren and his friends found themselves occupying the vacant furniture around Connie, Sasha and yourself. It had been a while since you had even been able to soak in his presence, but you could tell there was a different air to him, he seemed indifferent now, his lids drooping low and he barely paid any attention to the conversations around him. You could hear Armin’s attempts to draw Eren out from his shell, his repeated calls to invite him to participate in the conversations but all Eren could do is brush him off or reply with a simple mumble. How did he manage to be so magnetic; he was surrounded by friends and yet he was completely withdrawn and isolated?

“Hey—” Zeke called out to you, his words were already slurring, and the smell of beer was swimming around the air around him. He was just as rugged as his younger brother and you could tell that he was a part of Eren’s recent downward spiral. Despite bearing the same haunted resemblance as his younger brother, Zeke’s blonde hair is tidy and taken care of in contrast to his unruly facial hair. You could tell that Zeke bears no regard for taming his beard or his alcohol intake, you could also tell that just like Eren, he probably didn't care about much at this point. Lost in your observations, you realised you must have been staring too long as Zeke’s gaze met your own. “You know he almost used up his one phone call at the station on you!” He wrapped his arm drunkenly around Eren’s shoulder. Station? You thought to yourself, did that idiot get himself arrested? You glanced quickly towards Eren and you could see the shame and irritation across his demeanour. He had barely even said a word since he arrived, yet he already looked drained and exhausted.  

“Why would he waste a call on me?” You muttered with a roll of your eyes. Your short temper was also about to blow. Why does everyone connect you two together, you were friends before he left and nothing more? No amount of history between you two would change anything, not even one alcohol-fuelled mistake. Eren didn’t owe you anything and he didn’t fail to hammer that notion into you when he left.  

“Eren, you might wanna’ take care of your wasted brother before he embarrasses you anymore.” Sasha jested with a tilt of her head, a futile attempt to diffuse the situation. With that, you decide that it would actually be you who embarrassed themselves if you stayed any longer.

“I’m gunna’ get a drink.” You whispered to Sasha before forcing a reassuring smile across your features in order to ensure that she doesn’t follow you. You weren’t in the mood to talk about Eren or whatever the fuck he’s been up to in his long absence. A better person would be concerned for him but all you could do was feel irritation, you heeded Sasha’s warning, you’ve been living your life – dealing with your own baggage and Eren doesn’t get to just return out of nowhere and take the reins of your life again. You pushed yourself onto your feet towards a familiar friend in the hallway.

“Not joining the welcome wagon?” You teased; a conceited sneer etched upon your features as you can see the displeased expression on your friend. You were provoking the obvious bad blood between the two, it was rather petty of you to seek him out for the sole reason of loathing Eren together, but who better to understand than Jean

“My bad, I better hop in the line and give that asshole a proper welcome!” Jean quipped back, his tone was overly dramatic and topped off with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. “I’m actually getting out of here; Connie’s got some weird black pepper flavoured vape that I’ve been dared to try – wanna’ come?”

“Yeah – I’ll join you in a sec’, let my grab my jumper first.” You replied, accepting any invitation that would lead you as far away from the impending disaster that lurks outside the hallways. As Jean made his way downstairs, you entered your room before the comfortable silence was interrupted by an all too familiar voice. The voice was deep and steady, but you noticed it lost its notable flare, the usual effervescence had lifted from him, all that remained was something dark and troubled. You couldn’t recognise who the man standing before you was. He had stray, brunette locks falling on his forehead while the rest of his hair was hastily tied into a bun. His broad physique was framed by an almost entirely black wardrobe with the exception of his large gold key necklace that sat perfectly upon his chest.

“What’s wrong with you?” He dimly asked, he crossed his arms as he pressed his weight against the wall. He had an air of disappointment surrounding him, as if he couldn’t believe that you wouldn’t want to be in his presence, he couldn't believe that you didn't press further on the comment that Zeke made earlier.

“What’s wrong with me?” You challenged him, was he so self-entitled that he thought he could guilt you from walking away from a conversation that you did not want to be a part of. You didn’t want to know what changed Eren and you didn’t care what it was that pulled him away.

“Wanna’ tell me why you’re so pissed?” His expression, or lack of expression didn't change. As your temper rose, Eren’s voice and demeanour stayed the same. Despite his words showing a genuine interest, his voice and mannerisms displayed nothing but a disregard for absolutely anything going on around him. This wasn’t the Eren that you knew, the man that you had known had life and zest spilling from his expressive eyes, he cared about the smallest things around him despite being just as haunted as you were. In fact, it was Eren who was able to keep you from falling into a dangerous spiral, but it looks like he wasn’t able to save himself.  

“Fuck off, Eren. Maybe if you could take a hint, you’d realise that you’re the one pissing me off.” The words came carelessly fumbling out from your mouth -- at this point you knew you were overreacting; you could tell he had gone through something, but he owed you much more than he was giving you and you relished the thought of humbling him.

Eren didn't respond to your rant, instead, he drew in a long, sharp breath of air before he stepped towards you. Your chest rose and fell, almost out of breath from your last sentence as you stumbled backwards from his advances, your back crashing against the wall behind you. His arm extended to reach out for the wall behind you as his face creeps in closer towards you. “You and your short temper.” He mumbled to you while you soak in his scent. At least there was something familiar about him, this same scent that you were once tangled in. It’s embarrassing just how easily he’s able to bend you to his will. Just like that you were under his spell again, itching to give him a proper welcome back even though you know he doesn't deserve it. But he was so close and tempting, covered with a new and mysterious aura, maybe it was your distaste and resentment for him that fuelled your next move.

Your hands tugged at the ends of his shirt to pull him closer to you as you connected your lips with his. It was a long and messy kiss when he slipped his tongue inside yours. Eren's movements were hungry, as if he had been starving for days and this was his first taste of food. You could see his features were radiating with passion, the colour from his eyes seeping back in. His movements were so robust compared with the apathetic display he had put on earlier. Just for a second, you could see the person you once knew before. Your arms travelled from the bottom of his shirt to wrap around his neck and Eren slips his arms around your upper thighs, inviting you to wrap your legs around his waist. He didn't break his lips away from you but instead he sends a wet trail of reckless kisses along your neck before he lowers you onto the desk nearby, your legs still wrapped around his body. You were ashamed that you wanted more, didn’t you promise yourself that you wouldn’t let him come back and take over your life again, you put him in the past the second he chose to walk away.

“We shouldn’t do this.” You mumbled; Sasha’s prior warning seemed to have fallen upon deaf ears. There was a room outside full of your friends and one stray noise could end it all for the both of you. Despite your weak attempts to convince yourself that you could walk away from this encounter, your body seemed to have a mind of its own and was telling him the exact opposite. Eren’s lips trailed lower and lower from your neck, to your chest and falling all the way to your thighs. Almost every inch of your skin was covered in his wet trails. Your neck and back arched as soft moans spilled from your unruly lips.

“Tell me to stop then.” He breathes, you peered down on him as his hands rest on your thighs while he was on his knees. You remained silent; however, your hands travel to his hair as an invitation for him to continue on. Eren inches closer and closer towards your centre, his fingers pushing the thin fabric guarding your core to the side. His tongue draws intricate and wet lines across your slit as you emit a loud moan at the sudden sensation. You could feel a forceful wave of euphoria rush through your spine while he keeps a tight hold on your thighs to stop you from squirming. He was assiduous with his ministrations and he didn't remove his tongue when he introduced his fingers to your wet centre, teasing your entrance to get a reaction out of you. You inhaled sharply at the newly added sensation, his tongue and fingers massaging your clit effortlessly.

“Ere—”

“Just shut up…” Eren interrupted, as he pushed two of his fingers into you, dangerously close to being knuckle deep inside you. As if your calls of his name were distracting him from his intricate work. His familiar cockiness has returned, the jovial frat-boy that you once knew was zealously tasting you. His ministrations contained a heightened bravado now and you were finally starting to recognise who the man before you was.

“You’re tighter than I remember.” He observed, his fingers were frozen inside you as his piercing eyes were connected to yours, you knew that he was about to have you wrapped around his finger again.

“Maybe I’m just not as turned on as you think I am?” You challenged, forcing yourself not to bite down on your lip in front of him. With your remark, he quickly pulled his index and middle finger out of your pussy. The movement was so abrupt, and it left you craving all the more from him, just when he was pushing you to arrive to your peak, you came crumbling back down. A punishment for your quip at his sexual prowess.

“Oh really? Why don’t I show you just how wet you are then?” The devilish smirk spread across his lips was almost maniacal, a gesture of his sudden surge of confidence. He wrapped his already wet fingers around your own and lead them towards your now notably, wet pussy. Your fingers lingered there, unsure of what to do as you refused to make eye contact with Eren.

“See for yourself, since I apparently am not up to the task.” You still stalled for a moment, heat racing towards your cheeks, despite you baring your entire body to him, were you so shameless that you would pleasure yourself right in front of him?

“Go on — touch yourself.” This time, Eren’s tone was posed as a dominant command than it was a request. Just when you had thought you had the upper hand; it took just one minute for him to have you at his beck and call again. You hesitantly began to rub around your slit, shame soaked into your thoughts as you realised that you are just as wet as Eren stated.

Quiet moans fell from your lips as Eren smugly watched you have a taste of your own medicine, it was bittersweet since despite the pleasure you were giving to yourself, all you were doing was proving Eren right. Once your high started increasing, he softly wrapped his fingers around yours to stop you from what you were doing before he rammed two fingers inside you abruptly, eliciting a high-pitched yelp from you. His other hand was still wrapped around yours, pinning your arm to the desk to stop you from squirming. “Jealous, are we?” You provoked him; your eyebrow raised to match your goading sentiment.

His pace begun slow as he pulled in and out of you in long and detailed movements, he knew exactly how to build you back up as you responded to his movements with moans and your back arched up against the wall, your arms still pinned down by his free hand. “God, stop playing around.” You called out in frustration, he was playing with you and you knew that he was keeping you just below your boiling point.

“I thought you weren’t turned on?” He questioned; his fingers were moving just slow enough within you. You sat there silent, breaking your eye contact with him and refusing to fuel his ego anymore. However, Eren can see the way your body responds to him. “You want it that badly? Then beg for it.” He removed his fingers from you hastily as he rose from his kneeling position, so his face and body were hovering over you. He was just high enough that the tip of the key hanging off his change was resting comfortably on your chest. Your fingers reached out for the collars on his shirt as you carelessly pulled him even closer to you, your lips angled towards his ear.

“I’m begging you… Don’t you want a taste of me?” You successfully coaxed Eren into returning to your core, however, it was not his fingers that revisited you but his tongue. Your game of cat and mouse continued on as his tongue explored every single crevice of your pussy, his hands were keeping your thighs spread apart and pinned to the desk. Your back arched higher and higher as you quickly approached your climax, your fingers were tangling themselves into Eren’s hair and your chest rising and falling as you were getting ready to cum. Eren’s tongue was hitting all the right spots, it was as if he could read your body like the back of his hand, someone with barely any experience with your body could still bend and twist it to his will. Your body finally released the cluster of sexual tension that Eren had so diligently built up with within you. As you fell back against the desk, Eren rose from his position again, standing up this time as the pad of his thumb narcissistically grazed the bottom of his lip, cleaning up the excess remains of your orgasm.

“You’re right, I did want a taste.” He buttoned the bottom of his shirt back up and ran his hand smoothly through his hair, a futile attempt at cleaning himself up. You knew he was about to walk out, and you should have known better than to try to stop him, you loathed him at that moment and yet your body and perhaps even your heart was yearning for him.

“Eren.” You sat up quickly and reached out for his arm. He stopped in his tracks, not a word left his lips just his wide, emerald gaze staring at yours. “I think you should fuck me—” Before you’re able to provide any explanation his lips had crashed onto yours, yet he remained standing, his arms were cupping your upper neck as you are pulled up to meet his height. You responded instantly; your arms wrapped around his torso as your tongue eagerly crashed against his own.

His lips met your neck, and you knew he was about to plant a blue and purple reminder of this very moment. Despite Eren’s greedy reaction to your kiss, you could sense his hesitation in his movements, and you’ve experienced this before, he’s going to walk away – again. “I can’t…” He whispered into the crook of your neck, halting for a moment before he pressed one final kiss above your now growing bruise before he straightened himself up and walked out of the door. He didn’t even give you one final glance before leaving you alone on your desk and once again you could see all the colour drain from him as he exits. He was about to return to the same brooding and apathetic person he had become. It was embarrassing that you thought one hate-infused tryst in your room would change that, you were never able to change Eren.

You had barely adjusted to the change in pace, one second ago he was tasting every inch of you and the next he was leaving you dazed and confused on your desk. How quickly the loneliness crept into you, why did you need him around you so badly? Hadn’t you just sworn to yourself that you would resist him, you wouldn’t make the same mistakes that you did before? You forced yourself not to delve into the dark mystery that was Eren’s year away, but you know he wasn’t relaxing and getting back in touch with his brother, he had lost himself, getting himself arrested and God knows what else – but for some reason he’s back now?

#i swear the writing improves #been away #but srsly this was only 2 months ago and i already hate this x #eren yeager x reader #attack on titan x reader #eren yeager x reader smut #eren jaeger x reader #tw: smut #tw: drugs #tw: alcohol