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captainsimagines · 1 year

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pretty woman, this is me trying || finale

Summary: Bucky Barnes does not like to be touched. He’s completely ready to live a distant life and give up when the time is right. Until Stark hires him his own personal pretty woman. Over time, Bucky Barnes begins to learn how to touch again. How to feel again. How to love himself again.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female SexWorker!Reader

Trope(s): Holiday Fanfic ; Slow-Burn ; Friends to Lovers

Based on the Song(s): sweet nothing by Taylor Swift and Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

(14/14)

Mini-Series

Warnings: explicit language; reference to past SA; heartfelt confessions

Word Count: 2,000+

Author’s Note: Now, to be honest, I really hoped to make these chapters longer. But I wanted to published on Christmas Day and I haven’t had time to write all month. I truly hope I wrapped up this story well, and who knows? It could have epilogue next year or next month. I love you all. xxMoni

The day after Christmas was no better. Three times you had dressed and undressed, debating whether to leave your apartment and go speak with Bucky. You were both overthinking this and you were both in the wrong. Bucky shouldn’t have kept treating you like a flaky friend or kept his initial indecision a secret, and you shouldn’t have stormed away without hearing him out first.

You needed to see him. But your body wouldn’t let you get in your car and take matters into your own hands.

You flopped face-down onto your bed, releasing one long groan. When your lungs ached with the need for air, you sucked in a breath and repeated the process. Groaning until your throat was sore. You rolled over, instantly regretting it. You had washed your sheets, but not the pillowcases.

That heavenly mixture of snow and Starry Night. No swirling irises to accompany it, though.

“Do you want to come back the day after Christmas and show me how to jump?”

He chuckled, “It’s a date.”

You snapped up, replaying the words in your head.

Rockefeller Center, ice skating, the date.

Would Bucky remember? Would he even go?

You had to try. You missed Bucky, you missed Axel, you missed who you were when Bucky was with you. You missed the feeling of companionship. Of choosing who to spend that time with.

You didn’t want to be lonely anymore. Lainey would have kicked your ass all the way to Rockefeller by now, you bet.

After throwing on your winter jacket and boots, you sprinted out your front door, tripping only twice. Then turned back to your apartment, grabbed Bucky’s present, and repeated the tiring process of putting the key in the lock.

Stopping at Lainey’s old door, with absolutely no regard to whoever occupied it now, you declared, “I’m going to win him back. Because I love him, and I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Are you sure she’ll be here?” Steve asked as he opened the car door for Bucky. Rockefeller Center looked to be even more crowded than the last time he had come. It was like a cruel joke, making the search for you that much harder.

“She was the one who suggested it,” Bucky explained. “And if what you said is true, she’s not mad at me.”

“Oh, she was mad. Maybe not with you entirely, but she was mad.”

Bucky scowled at his friend, though he was grateful to have a second pair of eyes aiding him. Bucky was grasping at straws. Either you remembered that you had suggested this date and had the same idea as him, or you forgot and he was here when he should be at your apartment.

Or—the worse option—you had remembered and chosen not to come.

Bucky hadn’t really thought about what he would do if that was the case. He was a big boy, and although it would hurt him to bits, he would have to survive. Your time teaching him how to receive touch again would not be wasted. He promised himself that.

“You take one side and I take the other?” Steve suggested, adjusting the baseball cap. “Or do you want to stick together?”

“We can cover more ground separated,” Bucky replied. “Don’t worry. I’m okay.”

Steve studied him for a moment, then took his word. “Text me when you find her.”

Bucky nodded, watching as Steve blended into the crowd.

Step one: Pass through this chaos.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky prepared his mind. None of these people were out to get him and self-defense was not necessary. Most people were here with their family and friends, not plotting the end of the world with his metal fist in mind. He clutched your gift as he held it in his jacket pocket, then moved.

Bucky pushed through the crowd, apologizing for shoving people too hard and smacking his shoulders against them. Most people moved out of his way, allowing him some air. He searched every visible face, every occupied bench, every person exiting from the buildings. He guessed you would be near the ice rink considering that’s where the date was going to take place, but he still focused everywhere.

Someone’s shoulder brushed across his shoulder blades, paralyzing him for a moment. It was a quick touch, one that was over before he could truly dwell in it. His body told him to run back to the car, to find refuge in his mountain of blankets. That behind his apartment door is where he would be truly safe.

Though his body craved that comfortable feeling of safety, his idea of safety was no longer the loneliness found behind a closed door. His safety was encased in your touch, in your bedsheets, in your presence.

So he continued to push and shove through the crowd, counting his breaths and picturing your face. This was for you. It would always be for you.

His heart stopped as he took in your face for the first time since you walked away from him. You had painted your lips red and thrown on the same cardigan and jacket that had been hanging on the hook beside your front door for the entire month now. You caught his line of sight, freezing in place.

He pushed through the last of the crowd, stopping a few feet from you. You had your hands in your jacket pockets, but you were still shaking in your boots. Bucky wanted nothing more than to run to you and provide you some warmth, but there were words that needed to be said. Things that needed to be addressed.

“If you want to leave me, I will fight you.”

Your eyes widened a fraction at his unexpected declaration.

“When Stark told me to find a date, I refused because I physically could not swallow that reality. I said no, but I had no choice.”

He continued quickly when your face fell. “But I told Stark that I trusted his judgment. He gave me an out, but I had already met you. You were loud, and inappropriate, and reminded me of me from when I was young.”

“Bucky—”

“A part of my innocence was stolen from me long ago. And as much as it kills me, I know I’ll never get it back. I didn’t deserve to have it ripped from me. I deserved happiness, and a home to return to, and soft hands and soup and a little corner store to call my own. But life fucked me over, and I got none of that. I got tortured, and wiped, and… assaulted, in a thousand ways. And for the longest time, I thought they stole the whole of me. I thought there was no hope. That there were no soft touches left in the world. But you… You make me want to try again. You make me believe that people can still be good in this world. Because you’re good, and you’re good to me, and I love you. I love you more than hot chocolate, more than biscuits, more than the Santa Clause movies. I love you. And I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment you threw your arms up and introduced yourself. I’ve wanted you since our first picnic. I’ve wanted you since the first touch. I want you, I love you, and I just pray that you want me, too. That you love me, too.”

Multiple tears dripped from your eyes and down your cheeks. And when Bucky reached up, he found his cheeks were wet as well.

“I don’t expect you to quit your job or be solely mine. But I find myself running under your sweet nothings and I don’t want to abandon that feeling just yet. So I declare, the day after Christmas and surrounded by strangers, that I choose you too. I am scared of the world, and what they think of me, but I am not scared of you.”

“Bucky.”

Bucky sucked in a wobbly breath and pulled the bracelet from his pocket. It was handmade, green, and had a little L carved into the stone.

L for Lainey.

You stopped in front of him, turning the bracelet over in your fingers. Then you let him put it on your wrist. You cupped his cheeks with your surprisingly warm hands. Bucky whimpered sweetly, chasing the heat.

“I think you are courage incarnate, Bucky Barnes. Believe it or not, but you make me want to be strong. I have been lonely for so long and you showed me that friendship was still a real thing. I thought I had lost it forever, doomed to be stuck in a world that did not appreciate me.”

Bucky laid his forehead against yours, nearly hiccuping as your words pierced through his burning heart.

“I am yours. Only yours. And I’m sorry for being in my head too often.”

You pulled out a pair of fancy, leather gloves in his size, blushing. “It’s not as sentimental as the bracelet, but—”

He pressed a deep kiss to your mouth, holding you close. His chest warmed against yours instantly. His knees only needed to bend slightly to reach your lips. Your pinkies curled perfectly around each other.

How had he not noticed this before?

“Take me home,” he whispered, using his thumbs to wipe your tears away.

You nodded against him. Then, you giggled uncontrollably, melting against him.

“What?”

“Don’t forget Steve.”

Bucky shot a surprised look down at you. “How did you—”

“I know what his eyes feel like boring into my back by now.”

Sure enough, Bucky glanced up to see Steve watching your exchange with a genuine smile on his face.

“Do you trust me?”

Steve huffed, his knuckles turning redder as his grip tightened against the railing. When Bucky had mentioned that Steve had always wanted to come to Rockefeller Center with him in the 1930s, you had assumed Steve knew how to ice skate. You didn’t expect a trembling Captain America scared to find his balance and refusing to let go of the support.

“I trust you, but if I fall then you’re going down with me by default.”

“Fair. Now let go of the railing,” you ordered, holding out your hand for him to take. You hadn’t told him you were a beginner ice skater yourself. But you figured, since Tony rented out the rink for private use for the next six hours, it was the perfect time to test this out.

Steve murmured a curse under his breath before reaching out his left hand. His right still held onto the railing, so he began stretching and involuntarily splitting his legs. “Help! Help!”

“Let go!” you laughed, taking his extended hand in your own. He slunk back together rather comically, wobbling as he gripped both your hands. “Now close your eyes and skate!”

“Wha—Why should I close my eyes?”

“It’s the only way to truly trust yourself!” you lied, sounding creepily authentic. You pushed off, taking him with you. He argued twice more before finally shutting his eyes, allowing you to lead him anywhere.

“There we go! You got it! Keep those eyes closed!”

He thankfully listened, unaware of where you were leading him. You would think his super soldier hearing would alert him of a new pair of skates on the ice, but his anxiety probably clouded his thoughts.

With a quick nod, you expertly exchanged Steve’s hands into Bucky’s.

Skating away but still at a close enough distance, you called out, “You can open your eyes now!”

Steve nearly tumbled, but his expression was one of pure elation. Uncontrollable, joyous laughter spilled from his mouth.

“Buck!”

Bucky only smiled, tugging Steve closer. Hand in hand, flesh on flesh, they skated the perimeter together. Not once did Bucky drop Steve’s hand.

It may have only been a battle won for Bucky, but this was an entire war won for Steve Rogers.

He was touching his best friend again. If it wasn’t for you, for Bucky’s determination and strength, it wouldn’t have been possible.

You skated to the railing and watched the childish men for the next hour, wiping away tears whenever they dropped from your eyes. Lifting your hands up, you snapped an imaginary picture. To save for later. To think about whenever you thought something was impossible.

Then you snapped another, a real one using your phone, for safekeeping.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x y/n #captainsimagines #finale #pretty woman finale #pretty woman au #marvel fanfiction #by Moni #holiday fanfic #holiday smut

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sunkteethfallacy · 2 months

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A Princess Among Us: Arthur Granvelle is a Trans Girl

First, canon:

The established world of Vollmond is split between humans and wizards. Literally, in more extensive analysis, this is clearly a divide between goyim (mostly Xtians) and Jews, but in this specific case it is used to evoke something else.

The king and queen Granvelle are two humans, but Arthur was born a wizard. This was hidden by the two as well as it could be, but the moment it got out rumors ricocheted around about the queen cheating on the king to birth a wizard (a nonhuman). The queen could not tolerate her child being magical or the rumors about this, and chose to abandon Arthur in the northern wilderness to die. Later, in Arthur's location story, the queen is seen deliriously loving and protecting a small bird as her 'human' son in place of Arthur.

I tend to write/visualize Arthur and the overall setting as though transphobia does not textually exist - I prefer the use of allegory here, personally, along with other canonical hints that transphobia itself just doesn't exist in Vollmond (see this very good post about deltarune that i think about often) - but in this case it is quite literally that the queen wanted a human son, in which case 'human' and 'son' mean the same thing.

This is strengthened by Arthur feeling like she gets to be her "real self" with Oz/oji3 +in the North, where she gets to be a wizard and use magic and act without restraint around people who love and accept her as the little girl Arthur, and not as the failed nonhuman prince of Central.

And then, of course, this is all stripped away from her at the onset of puberty, LITERALLY on the day of her 13th birthday. She is stolen from this sanctuary and taken back to Central to stand straight and tall as prince and boy for a mother that will not even look at her (where her being a wizard is an open secret - where everyone knows that she's a freak and different.)

Something essential to note is that Arthur is the type of person who does not discuss her own suffering in a personal sense, that she is the type of person to ignore her own pain and instead focus on how things must have hurt others. She has only ever brought up how the pre-abandonment period must have hurt her mother, but not how Arthur herself felt or was treated during it. She goes out of her way to not mention the fact she was abandoned. She doesn't even like talking about how much pain she was in being taken from Oz, the person she actually considers to be her guardian, though it is more likely to come up because the feeling is much more raw. We can only assume based on how she is treated now, 17 and with her otherness an open secret, though it's also been mentioned that certain things have gotten a bit less painful over the 4 years she's been back... to put it lightly, even before being left for dead it wasn't great for her in the castle.

She does not like being a prince, except for the political opportunities it gives her to help others, namely other wizards (people like her). Look at this 4koma. She does not feel like she belongs. She pushes herself to be like her father because she's the 'prince' - but also, let's face it, her mother isn't the best role model (but Arthur still wants her love and acceptance [whole event]). She goes out of her way avoid being angry [ch4] because she's a wizard and people will be scared of her, and perhaps also attribute that anger to other wizards.

And then there's the amount of times she disguises herself as her 'Artie' persona, or transforms into anyone else at all, excited and overly willing to be anyone but the Central prince. (1, 2 [though she feels awkward and disparages herself for not being able to 'roleplay' well], 3, 4, 5: [Arthur Bday 2023 Q&A TLed by oshaberiduo on twt], 6, etc)

She's also been associated with butterflies, a sign of transformation and rebirth, a fair amount of times, and shooting stars, something similarly transient and beautiful (2) just as much. She wants to be a flower yet to be discovered or named.

She wants to be herself without expectations. She wants to be loved for who she is and as she is.

Of course, canonically it's good on some level that she was taken from Oz, as she cannot tie her happiness to him the way she does and continue to have a healthy relationship. She's dependent on him labeling their relationship (one everyone knows to be family), she's terrified of him not loving her (because they're the one who saved her when she was abandoned), and she's willing to die if it lets her continue to be loved/repays her 'debt' (because she thinks Oz is still """mad""" at her for """"leaving""””).

That said, I do think Arthur will remain in a political role in Central, but not as prince. She will be the wizard princess of Central, putting together both families she loves and getting to live as her true self with no pretense while helping the citizens she loves and working to make people like her safer. She will be the master of both worlds and live a much healthier life because of this, confident in taking the necessary steps to get to that point because she will always have people by her side.

Second, sources:

Every Mahoyaku character has a main source that's reflected in their names, influences their stories, and thus ripples onto the people surrounding them. Figaro is from the Barber of Seville. Oz is from the Wizard of Oz. Arthur is King Arthur. etc etc.

King Arthur’s story has a lot going on in it, as mythology often does, but the gist is that Uther Pendragon (the former king) seduces his enemy's wife with the help of the wizard Merlin, who in return for his services only requests that he be able to raise Arthur for a while. Arthur only finds out he's the king through a lot of winding circumstances; You know them. Read Arthuriana yourself - there's a lot. The point is that Arthur is the True King from a so-called 'disreputable union' raised by a magician.

But they also have secondary sources, sources the characters were not named after but heavily influenced their stories and personalities. Figaro’s is the Little Mermaid (see everything about her but especially June bride 2021 cardsto). Chloe’s is Cinderella (LOOK AT HIM). Shino’s is Robin Hood (Sherwood. Everything else). etc etc. And Arthur? Arthur is Ozma of Oz.

Ozma's story goes like this: the princess of the city of Oz, Ozma, is stolen by Ozpinhead (the titular Wizard of Oz) and given to the northern witch Mombi. Ozma's identity is hidden by transforming her into a boy who goes by Tip. Ozma lives her childhood as the boy Tip, not knowing her true identity, and going through many hardships under the tutelage of the unkind witch Mombi. Though, importantly, there he learns about magic, and uses it to both escape Mombi and go on a great adventure where he makes a lot of friends who love him dearly and has a lot of fun. Through various circumstances, the truth of Ozma's existence comes to light - she is a Girl, a Princess, and the true successor of the throne of Oz. Tip is frightened by this, but only because he doesn't want to change. He fears that if he changes, the people he loves will stop loving him. It's only through the encouragement of his friends and loved ones and the reassurance that they'll love her no matter what that she gains the courage to go through the process of becoming her real self again. She is still herself, just different!

………….

It's hard to explain just how point for point this is to people who haven’t personally read either or both stories. Either the plot point is exactly opposite, or exactly correct, to the point where it’s clear that the story goes beyond simple inspiration for Arthur's own.

Instead of being a princess kidnapped by Ozpinhead (the Wizard of Oz) and given to the northern witch Mombi, Arthur was abandoned by the royal family and taken in by the Northern wizard Oz (...the Wizard of Oz), though it’s clear the general view of the events has twisted itself into Oz themself kidnapping Arthur. This is not something Oz contests for various reasons, most of which consist of the fact that Oz was a cruel wizard before meeting her, and very much doesnt want her to idolize them (because if she ever finds out…). Arthur made Oz softer than even Oz's own friends could comprehend even with thousands of years of experience with him. But, again, Arthur was taken back to the royal castle of Central, away from Oz and oji3 (away from the place where she was accepted and could express herself fully), where she’s forced to posture as a Prince and Boy (though her secret is not much a secret here).

Arthur's biggest fear is of changing. That she’ll grow to be someone Oz doesn't recognize, that politics will change her, that Oz will stop loving her, that she’ll be left behind by the people she loves. The only thing that assuages that fear is Oz telling her that they love her, have always loved her, and no matter what, they just want her to be safe and happy and love the world she's in. That they haven’t abandoned her, and never will. Never could. And having the support system of not only Oz and oji3, then her friendships with the Central wizards, and then indeed the entire manor having her back in their own ways and giving her a space to openly, shamelessly partake in a part of herself she's still struggling to be able to fully express on her own terms.

Knowing she has a way forward to her true self that won't leave her closed off from the ones she loves and allows her to help them in ways only she can - that’s Princess Ozma!

tl;dr: There's a lot that goes into this: her simultaneous pride and fear of her 'other'ness; her day-to-day performances of her role for her mother (and the other Central officials) which still cant help but burst at the seams with her difference and is only alleviated (briefly) by returning to the place where others are like her (while knowing it's not her 'real home'); her abnormality being an open secret weaponized against her in vulnerable moments and especially for the sake of politics; her bone-crushing fear of being left behind by the ones she loves if she is totally, wholly honest with them about her desires and what she wishes to be (and where). Being literally based on an iconic transfeminine princess certainly doesn’t lend the reading any less credibility.

Basically, this is my little girl.

#mahoyaku #mahoutsukai no yakusoku #mhyk #.txt #mine #happy happy birthday to my pretty princess (jst) love you always #her birthday is half on intl womans day no less.... It all adds up #obligatory pointer that oz is pinhead/mombi and figaro is pinhead/glinda and then i hit my head into a wall and die. my final message.

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