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ilongfor-the-arts · 1 year

Note

Hi babey! Can I request a Carmen Berzatto x fem!Reader one shot? Reader is a friend of his or more of a coworker but she finds Carmy attractive and one day someone says something about him, just for a laugh, nothing really mean and reader chimes in with a “ I’d totally sit on his face”? It doesn’t have to be a smut, you can do whatever you want with this idea. Thank you in advance love xx

After Hours

Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem! Reader

Warnings: smut, language, face sitting (obvi), cumming in pants

Summary: *in req*

Word Count: 3.6k

“Okay Y/N, I gotta serious fuckin’ question for ya’.”

I rolled my eyes and continued stirring the sauce. I was aware that this inquiry would most certainly not be taken seriously.

“Hit me, Richie.”

Despite not having uttered a word, Richie laughed loudly.

Oh God, this was gonna be painful.

“Alright, alright, who do you think is more attractive, me or Carmy?”

I arched my brow and cast a glance over my shoulder. Richie's figure was leaning smugly against the counters, his arms crossed over his chest. The pace of the day was unexpectedly slow. Richie chose to focus his attention on me because, frankly, he couldn't go five minutes without bothering someone.

Hey, at least he wasn't yelling and upsetting everyone in a five-mile radius. I’ll take annoying Richie over screaming Richie any day of the week.

“Seriously? That was your serious question?”

I asked, frustrated that he tore my attention away from the sauce.

“I’m dead serious honey-”

“Don’t call me honey.”

Richie displayed his open palms.

“Alright, alright. Sorry, I forgot.”

I rolled my eyes again, bringing my gaze to the sauce. Staring at Richie for lengthy stretches of time gave me a migraine.

“Are you gonna answer my question?”

I pretended to ponder his inquiry despite already knowing the answer.

“Well, that’s difficult. You both are such charming and attractive men.”

My tone was thick with sarcasm. I mean, come on? Did Richie really think he had a chance? I glanced to my right, then to my left. I took care to be subtle so Richie wouldn't assume I had ulterior motives.

“I’d have to say, Carmy.”

“Fuck!”

He exclaimed under his breath. I chuckled through a closed mouth, scraping my spatula against the bottom of the plate.

“Was it close?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question?”

“That depends. Is the answer something I want to hear?”

“No.”

“Then no.”

The restaurant possessed an oddly tranquil atmosphere at this hour. The quiet chatter of voices resembled lovely white noise. I wished it would gently lull me to sleep. Even though a little frantic activity kept my mind sharp, I greatly valued quiet times like these. Unfortunately, my moment of peace was interrupted by Richie’s loud voice.

“Ok, but like, what does he got that I don’t?”

I managed to control the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I opted to twist the knife.

“Well, he’s more attractive for starters.”

Nice. This sauce was coming together.

“Oh, come on, now you’re just bullshitting me.”

With a chuckle, he said.

“I’m a chef, Richie. I don’t bullshit.”

“What makes him more attractive?”

Jesus. After I answered his stupid question, I assumed the conversation would be over. I would not have humored him if I had known he was going to prolong my agony.

“He’s got nice arms, and nice hands, and nice eyes-”

Richie laughed. I grinned, pleased that I had irritated him. Call me rude, but Richie has been nothing but trouble for me since day one. And the fact that I was finally crawling under his skin made me internally satisfied. I was scratching an itch that had been bothering me for months.

“And, come on, have you seen his nose? I mean, it’s gorgeous. I’d totally sit on his face.”

Richie found that amusing, and we both laughed before being unexpectedly interrupted by Carmen.

I froze.

Jesus. I sure as hell hope he didn’t hear that last part.

He threw open the door to his office and sauntered confidently into the open kitchen, holding a clipboard and a pen in his large hands. I prayed his mind was truly focused on the inventory check and not our conversation.

Oh God, why did I say that? Now the only image clouding my brain was me, sitting atop his nose.

Shit!

Why did he have to look so fucking good all the time? Can’t he look bad for once in his life? It would sure help right about now as I was finding it increasingly difficult not to imagine myself cumming all over his beautiful face while he vigorously tongue fucked me.

Carmen slowly became aware of two sets of eyes boring into the side of his skull. He paused his scribbling to cast a glance in our direction. His beautiful blue eyes darted between us, meeting both of our gazes before tearing away to look at the other.

“Um- hi guys…”

He said hesitantly, seemingly unsure why we were both gaping at him as if he had just interrupted a serious confession. Richie bobbed his head.

“Cousin.”

I followed suit.

“Carmen.”

Carmen arched his brow and shifted his body so that his torso was facing us.

“Uh-are you guys alright?”

His gaze continued to dart back and forth between ours. Every time he captured my stare, my heart instinctively skipped a beat.

God, what kind of sick thoughts have I polluted my mind with?

“I’m great.”

Richie chimed in.

“I’m great as well. Uh-we were just talking about…”

Come on, think of a lie!

“...baseball.”

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Thankfully, I was unable to blush as all the blood in my entire body had rushed to my core.

“Oh yeah, I was just tellin’ Y/N here about that cubs game last night.”

“Oh…”

Carmen’s voice trailed off into the tranquil air.

“Alright.”

His gaze landed on me, and he held it.

What’s he gonna say to me?

What’s he gonna say to me!

“Keep your eyes on that sauce, chef. Don’t let it burn.”

Right, of course.

“Right, of course. Sorry chef.”

Despite wanting to gawk at him a little longer, I tore my eyes away from him. He was most definitely suspicious, and the last thing I wanted was to make it worse.

“Richie, you can head out if ya’ want. We close in thirty minutes, and I don’t expect much more business.”

Shit.

I knew Richie would accept his offer. It wasn’t in his nature to deny going home early. So, with the exception of a few dishwashers, I'd be completely alone with Carmen.

Great, just great.

“You sure about that cousin?”

Oh my God.

Please stay.

I never imagined in a million years that I'd want to spend more time with Richie. But if he stayed, I would most likely avoid an awkward confrontation if Carmen had overheard me.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I think Y/N and I can hold down the fort.”

There was complete silence. I didn't turn around. I keep my gaze fixed on the sauce.

He most certainly overheard me.

Otherwise, why would he ask Richie to leave?

“Alright.”

No! My heart began to race. My hands began to shake.

Shit! I hadn't been paying attention. The sauce had begun to burn. The vile stench of burnt flour filled my nose. I cringed.

“Ah! Shit.”

I mumbled under my breath.

“Are you alright, chef?”

Do not stand next to me and breathe down my neck. That was the absolute last thing I needed right now.

He approached me, and his hot breath grazed my neck. Goosebumps rose along my skin.

Fuck.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just... accidentally burned the sauce.”

He glanced over my shoulder, his chin lightly brushing against my shoulder. My throat tightened.

“It’s alright. Don’t sweat it. Just throw it out and do it again.”

Fortunately, there wasn't much going on, or I'd be subjected to his piercing screams as he frantically bolted around the kitchen.

“Yes chef.”

I angled the skillet over the trash can, scraping every drop of burnt liquid into the trash.

“Good luck.”

Richie whispered when Carmen vanished from view. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I sighed in frustration.

“You’re the one that instigated that stupid conversation. I’m placing all the blame on you if he asks.”

Richie placed his hands on his hips. He was sickeningly arrogant. I just wanted to smack that stupid little smirk off his face.

“If he asks? You seriously think there's a possibility he didn’t hear nothin’?”

“Sh!”

I placed my finger over my lips.

“Why do you always have to talk so goddamn loud? He's out of sight, not out of earshot.”

“Sorry.”

Richie apologizes, his tone lacking sincerity. I didn't expect anything more.

“I sure as hell hope he didn’t hear anything.”

Richie noticed my tense posture and unconscious scraping of the empty pan. He chuckled.

“Relax honey-”

I glared at him. He cut himself off.

“Relax Y/N. He ain’t gonna fire you.”

I didn't respond. I returned the skillet to the stovetop and began remaking the sauce.

“But fine, if it puts you at ease, then blame me. He hates me anyway.”

"Thanks, Richie, you're a real doll.”

“You owe me one.”

“I don’t owe you shit.”

Richie scoffed. But he was far too cheerful to be angry. The subtle frustration quickly faded and died.

“I hope to see ya’ tomorrow, Y/N.”

“The feeling is not mutual, Richie.”

Richie leaned against the counter, catching my attention. I mockingly scowled at him, over exaggerating my exasperation.

“How’d you get to be such a saint?”

He inquired. He placed a hand over his chest, as if moved by my insult.

“It’s a God given talent, Richie, something you wouldn’t know about.”

He recoiled, pretending to be hurt.

“I would be offended, but I’m the one that gets to go home while you gotta face my cousin.”

I quickly glanced to the left to ensure Carmen was still out of sight.

“Don’t rub it in.”

Richie chuckled.

“Alright, goodbye for real this time.”

I didn't respond. Carmen reappeared shortly after Richie had left. He stationed himself only two feet away from me.

Great.

Fabulous.

Were his hands shaking?

Was he blushing faintly?

Hell no. That’s all in my head.

It'd be in my best interests if I stopped staring at him. I reduced the heat, afraid that the sauce would burn a second time and make it obvious that I was distracted. Carmen took an onion from the plastic container and began chopping. His typically quick hands were moving at a glacial pace.

“How are you?”

He asked.

“I’m pretty good, and yourself?”

Carmen shrugged nonchalantly.

“I’m alright. Kinda expected today to be busier, y’know?”

I scraped the pan to ensure the sauce ingredients were thoroughly combined.

“I get it. I mean, it’s a Saturday. Where the fuck is everyone?”

Carmen laughed, but it sounded forced. He didn't seem particularly pleased, nor did he smile. I bit my tongue.

“We may try out to-go’s tomorrow. Y’know, just see if it works. Personally, I think we should get a handle on everything before we try out a completely new fuckin’ system, but Sydney is pushin’ me.”

He was rambling. Carmen was never this talkative.

“I think to-go’s might be a good idea.”

Carmen pursed his lips into a straight line.

“There’s potential for it to be successful. The downside is that it also has the potential to blow up right in our fuckin’ faces.”

I tucked a stray hair behind my ear and glanced at Carmen through my fingers. He kept chopping slowly, his biceps flexing as he pushed the blade through the vegetable. The knife was dull. Carmen could feel my gaze. He cast a glance at me. As our gazes locked, a surge of heat pulsed through me. I quickly dismissed it, returning my attention to the sauce. Which, if I may say so, was progressing quite nicely.

“So, what were you and Richie talking about?”

I gulped audibly. Oh God, here we go. It’s time to address the giant elephant in the room.

“I told you. We were talking about baseball.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

His jaw muscles pulsed as he clenched his teeth.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

He murmured. I wouldn't have heard his words had I not been paying attention. I scoffed loudly.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Cause…”

Carmen’s voice trailed off, his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped.

“Cause…”

He wasn’t cutting anymore. His grip on the knife became white knuckled. My playful smile dropped.

“Cause I heard you talking. The walls here are thin.”

Shit.

What should I do?

Apologize?

“I’m sorry Carmen.”

Carmen gritted his teeth, muscles bulging from his cheeks.

“Shit-I don't even know why I said it. I was just being stupid. I was just-,” I was rambling, “I was just making a joke-”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

I zipped my lips.

“Were you being serious?”

What?

He was mumbling.

I didn’t hear him correctly.

“Sorry, what?”

Carmen had a crimson face. He was unable to look at me. His empty eyes were fixed on the half-chopped onion resting on the cutting board.

“I-I asked if you were serious.

Was he seriously asking if I would be willing to sit on his face? I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I mean… kinda.”

Carmen’s bottom lip subtly quivered.

“Kinda?”

Oh my God.

He really was asking me if I’d be willing to sit on his face?

“Well, I mean. If you must know than yes. I was being serious.”

The air around us became tense as the silence lingered.

“Why?”

I asked, deducing that he most likely wasn’t asking me because he was simply curious.

“Cause, y’know, you could, if you wanted to.”

He turned to face me, a lustful undertone hidden behind his pupils.

“I mean- I’m not great at that kind of shit but- like- I wouldn’t mind giving it a try… Y’know, if you’d be up to it.”

It was my turn to blush. I mean, I’d definitely be up to it. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to sit on his face.

“Uh. Sure.”

My breath shuddered, and my words faltered as a result.

“Like, when?”

Carmen shrugged while flinging fictitious dust specks from the counter.

“I don’t know. Like, right now is good with me.”

Right now!

He wasn’t being serious.

“We can go to my office.”

Oh my God he was being serious. I gaped at him, wide eyed.

“Sure.”

I said hesitantly, still unsure that this was really happening. I was expecting him to laugh and say this was all a big joke.

Carmen nodded.

“Perfect. Um… I’ll be waiting.”

As he pushed past me and made his way to his office, his shoulder touched me. The feeling lingered. I stood still, in shock, gazing aimlessly at the plain wall.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I gently pushed the door open, peering into the dimly lit office. Carmen sat, the heel of his hand resting on his brow. I allowed myself to stare. He hadn't noticed my presence yet. My gaze was drawn to the veins protruding from his well-defined biceps. My eyes followed the threads downwards, halting when they landed on one of his numerous tattoos.

My breath hitched, a sudden wave of heat traveling to my core. I could feel wetness pooling between my thighs.

His palm was pressed against the crotch of his pants.

Shit.

He was cupping himself through his jeans.

“Hello.”

I said softly, opening the door slowly so as not to startle him. Carmen quickly redirected his attention towards me, resting both hands on the armrests.

“Hello.”

I closed the door gently behind me, trapping us. We were now cut off from the rest of the world, and the possibilities were limitless.

“Carmen if we stall any longer I’m gonna start having second thoughts.”

Carmen’s eyebrows shot upwards.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get this show on the road then.”

He stood, tugging subtly on his clothing in a futile attempt to hide his growing erection. Carmen lay flat on the floor, his gaze fixed on the ceiling.

I couldn't help but laugh. I'll be honest: he looked a little ridiculous.

“What?”

I waved my hand through the air.

“Oh, nothing.”

Oh shit. I suppose it was my turn to get naked. I kicked off my shoes and shakily undid my jeans, pulling them down until they encircled my ankles.

“Just- if you want me to do something different then-then just tell me because I don’t think I’ll be able to talk because…”

His voice trailed off. I chuckled.

“Because I’ll be sitting on your face?”

I dragged my soaked panties down my legs, adding them to the messy pile of clothing.

“Y-Yeah, exactly.”

Carmen chuckled, but it was an extremely uneasy sound. He was clearly nervous. I couldn't fault him. My nerves were also quite prevalent.

The cool air brushed against my now bare legs, raising goosebumps along my skin. I sauntered over to Carmen, his wide eyes following my every move.

“Shit.”

He mumbled under his breath.

I straddled his waist, running my open palms along his torso, hoping to somewhat reassure him. The strong muscles in his stomach rippled. I bit back a moan as the dull pulsing of his abdomen had slightly stimulated my aching cunt.

“Just- whenever you're ready.”

I nodded, shuffling upwards until I was straddling his neck. Carmen stared at me. His blue eyes were soft and his plush lips were slightly parted. His cheeks encompassed a hint of blush.

“I’ve been ready for a while now.”

I said, staring down at him with a faint smile prevalent on my lips. Carmen swallowed.

“Me too.”

I ran my fingers through his greasy hair. Carmen groaned through a closed mouth as I raked my nails along his scalp.

I positioned myself above his face, admiring his lust blown pupils before sinking down atop his nose.

“Fuck.”

I murmured, my eyes instantly fluttering closed as the tip of his large nose brushed against my swollen clit. Carmen began to hesitantly lap at my velvety wetness, his calloused hands wrapping around my plush thighs to hold me in place.

“Jesus Carmy.”

It was one thing to fantasize about it. When I was in the situation and could indulge in every minute touch, it was a completely different experience.

Carmen began to gradually grow more confident. His tongue began to eagerly penetrate my wet folds. And he bobbed his head in such a way that his nose stimulated my swollen bundle of nerves.

I furrowed my brow in pleasure. The coil within my lower abdomen was tightening. At this point, any sense of unease had vanished.

His nose gave a particularly pleasant nudge to my clit. I convulsed, arching my back as my entire body tensed. My fingers tightened around the roots of his hair. Carmen moaned, the vibrations resonating within my stomach.

My head lulled forward. Carmen’s lively eyes met mine.

“My God Carmen. Your mouth is fucking immaculate.”

My voice was shaky. I couldn't muster a confident tone. He began to quicken his movements, his eagerness growing as a result of the praise.

Shit, he liked that.

“You’re so good Carmen, you make me feel so fucking good.”

I reached behind me. Carmen moaned loudly against my cunt as I tenderly cupped his rock hard erection through his jeans. Surprisingly, his movements didn’t falter. I maintained intense eye contact, preserving the link between our psyches.

“Does this turn you on baby? Does it turn you on when I sit on your pretty face?”

Carmen whimpered. I scoffed breathily, gently massaging his erection.

“Soon I’ll return the favor. I bet your cock would feel really good in my mouth.”

Carmen instintivley jerked his hips against my palm. My abdomen was now pulled tight. The pornographic sucking of his mouth agaisnt my clit was making my brain foggy.

“Fuck Carmy I’m gonna cum.”

I threw my head back, continuing to palm his clothed erection as Carmen erotically ate me out. Every precise movement of his tongue delving between my folds along with the manner in which his nose subtly grazed against my clit was sending me spiraling.

“I bet you’ll look really pretty with my cum all over your face.”

Carmen readjusted his face, his warm lips now wrapped around my clit. He gave a particularly hard suck, and with that, I released. I moaned loudly, praying to the universe that no one was lingering around after hours.

Not that I really cared. I was far too engrossed in the erotic sensation of my boss’s mouth to be thinking of anything beside my freight train of an orgasm that was sweeping throguh my body.

Carmen continued to gently eat me out as I came down. I removed my hand from his cock, refocusing my attention on him. He was lapping at my juices desperately, wanting to prolong this feeling for as long as possible.

When I assumed he was satisfied, I shifted my hips downwards until I was straddling his waist. My cheeks flushed hot as I took in the sight of my wetness completely coating his chin.

“Jesus Carmen. You look hot.”

He licked his lips, a faint smile playing on the corners of his mouth. I leaned forward, giving him a quick kiss. My taste coated my tongue almost instantly.

“Do you want me to put your cock in my mouth?”

I whispered seductively.

“Uh…”

I pulled back.

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to.”

I said this with as much sympathy as I could muster.

“No-No, it’s not that I don’t want you to, it's just…”

I cocked an eyebrow.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Necessary?

I reached back. Perhaps a subtle touch will entice him to accept my offer.

I furrowed my brow in confusion.

He was soft.

Oh.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Did you cum in your pants?”

Carmen blushed.

“Y-yeah.”

His bottom lip trembled.

“Sorry.”

I smiled, placing my hands on either side of his head to gain the necessary leverage to press my lips against his.

“It’s alright.”

I mumbled reassuringly.

“I think that’s really fucking hot”

#fanfic #imagine #imagines #x yn #x you smut #x fem!reader #x y/n #x female reader #smut imagine #x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto smut #the bear #the bear fic #the bear fanfiction #the bear fx #the bear season 2

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neverchecking · 10 months

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AYO

Do I see sadistic reader possibilities from you and lovanmari

Just a rough idea, for context they are sitting in a dinning room booth kind of deal right next to each other. Used they for reader.

"That man from last night said he'd be down here in the morning," they glanced around the tavern floor with a light pout and yet, "perhaps he's oversleeping?"

Sage could see the sharpness of their eyes as they took in each and every corner of the dining floor. The faintest smile curling at the corners of their mock disappointment. No, his vixen's eyes were very, very pleased.

They knew what they were doing all along.

Leaning their body over the corner while they spoke to that man. Smiling innocently as if they didn't see him running his disgusting eyes over their angelic body. He had been so concerned over the gaze of a parasite leeching onto what's his, he neglected to look at their own. Staring down the bug they wanted him to squash.

"You knew what you were doing," Sage leaned to their ear to whisper, "I can see it in your eyes."

At first they turned to the mock, innocent shock he knew too well, before it all too soon melted away from a blooming burn of passion igniting over their features. This look was new- well, outside of his bed that is. That ever loving, wicked smile twisting across their innocent features to match the slight close of their delicate lashes. They was his god, ever beautiful and kind to him. All they wished was his command.

And they knew they could have anything they wanted from him.

"I don't care for people insulting you," their precious fingers gently rested against his cheek, "and if I can't do something about it... I know someone who will."

Just a loose cannon thought o-o -🧶

🧶 anon. Listen, you and I need to talk.

Because this- all of this- is so good? Like it absolutely feeds my feral little brain. It's the good shit.

Between myself, @lovanmari and @wayfayrr, we are just braining Sage as this absolutely feral man who now has access to nuclear weapons. Especially with a Sadistic! Reader? Omfg, they're a match made in hell heaven.

Like- especially if Sage doesn't catch on right away?

Because he's too enamored by his sweet divinity to see the red flags right away. He's super glued rose colored glasses and has no plan on taking them off, turning all those red warning signs into just...background. He's too swept away by the sweet words and gorgeous smile, hyperfixated on the rats trying to impose on what was his, his, his.

The way this is worded is perfect, because he probably would've remained blissfully unaware, had Reader not brought up the man. Why did they care about whether or not that vile creature would show his pathetic face? Why did they care about if the man had overslept? Why had they cared about anyone other than him?

That was what clued him in. Because, like it or not, Sage had trained his vixen, his sunflower, the absolute light of his miserable life to only think of him. And they would never go out of their way to upset him. So what were they going on about?

Sage is probably the first one to recognize the familiar spark of bloodlust in their eyes. The way their fingers twitch and the trepidation of not knowing. Then it would all click.

His beloved liked seeing him loose control. Liked these unhinged, probably feral, parts of him that he would rather hide away from the world. They enjoyed teasing the scum of the Earth, dangling their own supple body in front of them like a treat on a stick only to set their guard dog on them the second they overstepped.

It was wicked.

He loved it.

When his love confirms his thoughts, a whole new obsession begins. One filled with nothing but joy and ecstatic insanity at the thought that he wouldn't be condemned by his God(dess) for his more unsavory actions. No, he would be praised and uplifted, blessed with their smile and delicate fingers tracing his jaw.

And to know their own motives circle back to him? To know that you have as much distaste for others touching what was yours as he did?

Drove him positively mad.

And the best part of it all? He won't stop. No, he has your blessing now. Anyone who gets in his way, even for miniscule things he may have let slide for your sake, is slaughtered without another thought.

All as offerings for his sweet vixen.

#cinder rambles #yandere sage x reader #yandere sage #lu sage

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asexualzoro · 5 months

Text

it's december 9th, meaning today is my 23rd birthday (which is my favorite number!), which means it's time for...

Lew Writes Wrapped 2023!!!

im including anything that happened after my last bday, so we have some works from december as well. this one's a bit of a weird one for the total word count, you'll see why

it's all treebark from my sideblog / alt ao3. i cannot change. i will not change. for these im just gonna specify the relationship that's the main focus bc thats easier than fandom bc all but like one are third life

dandelion wishing

(Dec, 2.4k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

op movie 6 au for dogwarts in which Martyn is the baron and Ren doesn't know he's dead

id actually plotted out a whole third life au for this movie like months prior and really wanted to write it, so i took it for treebark week and focused it just on these two. it's my fave movie of all time and i obvs had to give it to my fave completely dead team <3

i will admit tho. it did make me back search martyns twitter to see if hes ever posted abt watching this movie. bc i know he likes One Piece and i realized this would bring me into the danger zone (he hasnt ever posted abt it if hes seen it)

A Romance Route for the Doomed Villain?!?

(Dec, 5k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

treebark dating sim isekai parody that spiraled out of my control made in a day-long possession

im still baffled by this one. why was the response to this one so insane?? there was smth in the water the day i posted this bro. a 1:2 kudos to hits ratio for the entire first day is literally fucking unbelievable. 70 comments?? what hold did this fic have on you people. i got fic written about this one?? my friends goncharov'd me in front of my face

really fucking fun to write and the insane response was smth im always gonna remember. i appreciate you guys so much

treesekai also turns a year old in a few days!

Until the Angels Realize You're Not One of Them

(Feb, 7.2k, emerald duo, oneshot) (link)

a traitor phil au which was mostly just me talking about all the reasons i love technoblade

this one... wasnt actually written this year for the most part? i didnt want to not acknowledge it, since it's on my ao3 in this year, but i wont be able to count it toward the total

still. traitor phil au my beloved. hearing him say on his stream he and techno wanted to do a betrayal arc made me feel insane bc i already had this written at the time

missing or obstructed

(2022-present, 12.9k, Grian & Ren, ongoing) (link)

post 3L fic about Ren and Grian seeking out closure with a lot of funny little sleep metaphors

same deal as the last fic, i, uh dont think i actually wrote anything new for missing or obstructed this year either? just uploaded chapters i wrote last year,,, i didnt wanna now acknowledge it, but i wont count this in my total later

i miss her. one day ill actually sit down and write more missing or obstructed. in my doc im JUST at introducing Martyn and i havent written it yet

to reach my mangled debut

(Sept, 4.2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

it wouldnt be me if i didnt have an execution somewhere in here. another op au!

THIS. I LOVE HER. when rev and i were plotting out the whole storyline for smop renchanting i was begging please give me this scene i need it and i had so much fun writing it. i rlly need to finish soon but i haven’t had time but please. please check out smop. she’s top of my priority list to update

Three-Dog Night

(Sept, 6.7k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

BIG DOG. beauty and the beast au!

god im so fond of this au. there’s some rlly good scenes written for this and unposted bc i just need to link them together. honestly i think if i took a month and focused it on this fic alone i could fucking finish it but i don’t have the time ;-;

that said i’m so enamored w this au genuinely. o dunno what else to say i just think. puppy

Cover Me In Roses

(Sept, 3.3k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

lamplight roleswap! put Martyn in a flower pot

i don’t feel as motivated to work on this one when i have lamplight unfinished so it’s lower on my priorities but know i have like an entire arc of this written and unposted. we just have a few paths for this one and i have to decide which one to use

it’s so wild to me lamplight has like. aus. like this isn’t even the only one? a roleswap. that’s insane? it’s wild that you all like lamplight enough i can even get away with this

First Sign of a House Fire

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i love superhero stories for two reasons: plots about secrets and adapting the characters to give them powers. this had smth fun for both of them

yellow rose isn’t super high on my list of priorities to update (i think the oneshot is interesting on its own) but one day,,,, it’s part of the many aus cherri and i have but it’s the longest for sure. the doc for just this au is like 100k words long on its own. at the time i draft this cherri and i are actively writing smth else for it in another tab. theres like 4 offshoots and im obsessed w all of them. we had to make ocs about this one. i’m excited to eventually add more to this series

actually that’s one of the scenes i’m most excited for and most dreading adding. we made a backstory oc and im SO attached to him and im excited to post a thing out there w him but. ough. whatever cringe is dead i’ll get there eventually and brute force my way into attaching you to our funky little robot guy

also love that this fic forced me to be decided on a docv characterization that i have to stick to. he may be a canon guy to martyn’s vtuber lore but he’s my oc now too

Blindsided

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

pirate au and royal au based on a big secret and also stuffing a guy in a box and it's all stupid dramatic literally what else do you want or need in life

this is my wife. my favorite. my most beloved. blindsided gives me new illnesses and diseases. i have just one scene to write before i can update it and then i can continue unleashing her. god i love this fic the drama of it is SO fun.

the funny thing abt blindsided is i know all the plot chronologically but now how to Present it which is part of why i haven’t continued too much. eventually i will but until then know that one of the scenes im sitting on which has been fully written is one i think about constantly. hopefully when i post it cherri’ll let free the comic she did for it

i actually have the ending of this fic written i just need to get there lmfao. second on my priority list after smop i think

Cradle of the Leviathan

(Sept, 1.5k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i just love mer aus man. whats the point of it all if you cant have mer aus. just get a big ol fish

i have the ending of this au written as well and literally so little of the lead up. but this is pretty low on my priorities. i think this one stands just fine on its own. mer aus are nice like that

we actually have a few mer aus but for now i’ll be focusing on this one. i do have a few sweet post story things written for this one. maybe one day i’ll write enough to post em lmao

Lamplight AU

(2022-present, 47k, treebark, ongoing) (link)

renchanting dnd/fantasy au, martyn's a paladin and ren's a lamp

so i started this au last year. my wrapped last year said my total was 20k, so that means this year's total is.... 27k!

and… it was just lamplight’s birthday and i did all my appreciation for the fic and its readers then, but god. i love this fic so much and i love you all who have read it and been so kind about it. the amount of popularity it has makes it a bit nerve wracking to work on, but i still really want to see it finished. i hope to see the bulk of it done by this time next year!

Six Sentence Sunday

six sentence sunday is a challenge where i try to post six sentences i wrote that week every sunday, to keep me writing every week of the year! i do it over on my writing blog, @driflew

i did not keep up on my six sentences,,, i had a lot of sunday fencing tournaments. i did for ~33 weeks this year! thats a pretty good amount! i’ll have to be more on top of it next year tho

unpublished work

the last few years i havent included unpublished work, but with the extreme bulk of it, i wanted to note it down. cherri @/cherrifire and i have been writing a lot back and forth at each other in discord dms this year, and i wanted to include those in my count! bc holy fucking shit is there a lot of them

i didn’t include collab pieces, just pieces i wrote alone. i also only included the renchanting aus i share w cherri and scarian aus i share w flowey, nothing else—no unfinished lamplight or other independent pieces or oneshots, no original fiction for class, nothing. i also missed a few u haven’t moved to docs yet. so i’m lowballing by a few. thousands. of words

the total for those is...... 135k words! there is,,, something wrong with me

total and end notes

our total this year is...

187512 words!

that might be my highest word count yet! because i caught treebark disease. wild.

something really fun about this year to me is i really loved everything i wrote.

if you want to get me a gift or support me on my birthday… maybe try reading my work and reblogging it or leaving a comment! you can find my writing at driflew or skelew on ao3, follow my writing blog at @driflew, or even consider tipping my kofi!

thank you for sticking with me and supporting me this year! i really appreciate it! hopefully i can break 100k next year too!

#lew writes wrapped #lew writes

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animexts · 2 years

Note

jealous/protective hc for gaara please 🥺💗

Your wish is an order baby!

Hope you like this love, thanks for the request!

Gaara being jealous/protective with his S/O

NARUTO MASTERLIST

A/N: I'm honestly really proud of it, so please let me know what you think about it, it motivates me a lot.

To be honest, he didn't quite understand this feeling for the first time.

"Am I sick?" That's what he thought when he felt it.

Not being the most expert on feelings guy, he went to ask Temari or Kankuro.

"Oh my God you're jealous!" They said.

All right now that it had a name, he could handle it right?

Wrong, he couldn't control it.

He really wanted to deliver his speech professionally, but boy did Naruto need to be this close to you?

He tries to find a way to ask you how you feel about Naruto without sounding toxic or obsessive so...

"Are you… going to be with him now?" he asks over dinner, mentally kicking himself at the sight of his expression.

"Which?"

Okay, that wasn't the best way, but he's trying!

"Gaara, I love you." You say that, and it sure is a tremendous relief to your heart.

He decides to just trust you and not talk about it anymore so he doesn't bother you or make it look like he doesn't trust you.

"It's okay I won't be mad I just…want you to be happy."

It's okay now he's feeling selfish for wanting you all to himself.

But also, he feels like he needs to be with you all the time, he wants to protect you from EVERYTHING.

Yes, you are a high-class ninja and perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but Gaara doesn't understand that.

He will hardly send you on some dangerous mission or one that needs to be away from him for many days.

"Please Gaara, I'm a ninja!" You would say

"I just don't want you to get hurt". He answered meekly.

That's always been a reason for you guys to argue.

But seeing that you are unhappy, he thirsts and sends you on the missions you want to do, but with other great ninjas by your side of course.

────────────────────

#gaara imagines #kazekage gaara #gaara x you #gaara x reader #gaara #naruto headcanons #gaara headcanons

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

Note

Hii, I love your writing and you're so very talented!!

Please, feel free to ignore this request if you don't feel comfortable writing it 😊

I was wondering if you could write a Lady Lesso x Never!Student platonic where the reader has depression. The reader has no motivation and everything seems like a chore - even eating. She would feel so terrible that she would phyically get sick and nauseous and tired all the time. The nights are the worst because her mind is plagued by dark thoughts, the nights seemed to never end, she's afraid she'll do something stupid so she rans down the hallway knocking on Lady Lesso's headquarters' doors.

She's afraid of Lady Lesso but she's afraid of herself even more.

I suffer from seasonal depression that lasts from like February to October and I'm tired already-

It gets to the point I even think things that aren't even true. Like... I'd mix reality and thoughs. For example - I'd be thinking my phone cracked and for some reason I'd believe it. I get so confused xD And I'd isolate myself from people not even caring. I wish I could feel bad because I stopped communicating with them but I just don't.

Hey lovely anon! <3 thank you so much for your support and kind words. I hope this is what you were looking for <3

Save me from myself

*Authors note| This seemed very fitting for my mood today so I absolutely have had a blast writing this.*

Trigger warnings~ food issues depression self harm the whole lot really

Prompt~see ask^^

Depression is a strange thing, especially when coupled with anxiety. It's like you have no energy to do anything but your brain is going a million miles a minute. Yet it makes perfect sense, your brain is whirling so many thoughts that it's draining all of your energy. Self care goes out the window, anything that really requires any physical emotional or mental energy goes too. Why does life have to be soo hard? It feels as though everything is getting on top of you and pushing you further and further back into this dark place. The dark place being cold and lonely, two of the things you wished to not feel, yet they surround you all day every day.

Food isn't on your radar, even the thought of food makes you feel nauseous. All you want to do is sleep for the rest of eternity. Yet your mind refuses to allow that. You know that staying in doors, in bed, is not helping you. Yet getting up is much too difficult. Sleep seems to evade you. Taunting you as if it knows your desperation for it to claim you. The lack of food, sleep and your overwhelming feelings seem to control your everyday thought. You know it's wrong and that you should ask for help but the energy to do that is missing.

That's why you turned to an older coping mechanism. You didn't mean to. It was a moment of weakness and not one you had planned to do again. You felt guilt as sin. Yet when you did it god the numbness was something you craved. But you couldn't do that again, it was a dangerous path that was extremely hard for you to crawl your way back from. Scars littered your arms now and they served as a reminder, self harm was not and is not the way forward. So for days you focused so hard on not giving into the urge, it was draining you but at least it worked.

As a never it felt wrong to even consider reaching out for help, it was weakness. Never's aren't weak. Weakness got you in a vulnerable space, something you really can't afford. Yet for some reason you had bonded rather well with the one and only Dean of Evil. Your recent slip into your seasonal depression had you pulling away from Leonora, something she didn't take too well. At first she assumed you were unwell, after all no one can stay in perfect health all the time, but soon it became apparent something darker was lurking behind your dorm room door. Something perhaps you were trying to hide. She trusted in you to find her when you felt ready, she had told you day or night she would be there for you and had truly meant every word.

Tonight, you broke. Fighting this battle alone was terrifying, and you didn't trust yourself to not fall back into that bad habit, you knew what would happen if you stayed in the room alone. You knew where to find your collection of sharp objects and how your control would dwindle fast just by the sight of them. You could feel the sensations of them on your skin. This was dangerous territory and you knew it. So without thinking you fled. Seeing the outside of your dorm for the first time in days. The candle light seemed awfully too bright and overwhelming from what you remember, was it always this cold? Briefly, you considered going back to hibernate under your blankets and just wait this out, but the sensations on your arm reminding you just how much of a terrible idea it truly was. So you ran.

Your body mindlessly taking you to your safe place, your home. Before you even knew it you were up the hall standing outside of Lesso's chambers. A luxury only had been given, for this exact reason. Yet here you stood, willing yourself to stay put and knock. Yet your mind was telling you to go back to the room and give in. Give in to the demon that plagued you. You need it. But you don't want it. And that's what makes you knock. Small timid knocked in a carefully designed pattern alerted the older women of your presence. And when that door opened, you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces.

This was absolutely terrifying, but you were more scared of your own mind right now. Your body reacting instantly by seeing the women, you threw yourself in her direction causing your body to slam into hers. Sobs tore through your body as she brought her arms around your quivering form. At this point you didn't know what was real and what was in your mind. Was she holding you? The words you hear, are the created by your mind? You didn't know, and truthfully you didn't care right now. You needed her and she was here, in person or in your mind , but that didn't matter. She was here when you needed her just as she had promised to be.

Soon enough you had settled on her sofa in front of the fire being cocooned by her strong arms and words of reassurance and encouragement being whispered into your hair as you let it all out. Tears and muffled apologises for pushing her away, hurting yourself and not being strong enough. Each and every fear she squashed and by the end of it you had snuggled closer and fallen into the first restful sleep you'd had in god knows how long.

Word count~ 1170

#fanfic #lady lesso #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #leonora lesso x reader #dean of evil #send anons #anon request

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gentle-traditionalism · 8 months

Note

hello lovely, hope you’re having a nice day! do u have any tips for girls who are on the younger side (like 17 yrs old) who wanna be trad? I’ve been trying to look more into feminine living n etiquette rules and stuff, any stuff I should enhance further or do as well?

Hello! I have been having a lovely day, thank you. I do have a lot of advice that I’d give to younger trad girls, but I should clarify that to me, being trad is largely about values and goals - such as loving God, being feminine, and raising a strong, honourable family - rather than aesthetic, so my advice might lean more towards trad lifestyle tips rather than say, glow-up tips (though I do have a few of those) Here are some of my tips:

Put God first in your life. Read the Bible and pray daily, and always remember God’s love. Find a church that doesn’t sugar-coat things, but also isn’t all doom and gloom. Neither are beneficial for your long-term spiritual growth.

Make sure to love and take care of yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should be self-obsessed or vain, but it’s so important to treat yourself kindly. If you don’t love yourself you are likely to put up with other people mistreating you because you think you don’t deserve better, and you absolutely do.

Since tradblr has a major focus on being a wife, I’d give this advice; don’t stress about finding your husband right now. I know how annoying this can be to hear, but seventeen is very young. While I still feel much the same as I did when I was seventeen, I have had so many more experiences and grown as a person since then. As much as I wish I was married now, I’m still very glad that I didn’t marry when I was a teenager/very young adult, because I would have many regrets. If you already have a boyfriend who you want to marry someday, keep this in mind; don’t make any serious relationship decisions until you see how he acts around/treats his family. If you marry him, you’ll be his family and he’ll treat you the same way. On the same note, don’t make any commitments until you see him angry. This doesn’t mean that you should purposefully make him angry (please don’t do that) but you want to see how he controls his temper. At the end of the day, it really is best to wait until you are both older to make any commitments, especially since men tend to mature slower than women (please note; this does not mean you should seek out older men! Keep yourself safe). With that being said, you can absolutely plan and prepare for when you are older! So on that note...

Get a hope chest! It doesn’t have to be a fancy antique one; it could just be any old storage bucket. If you do have an antique one, make sure to inspect the latch - you don’t want one that could lock a child or anyone else inside. Fill it with things you want to fill your future home with, or things for your future children. This can help motivate you if you ever feel frustrated with waiting.

Eat healthy. There are hundreds of different diets out there, but eating doesn’t have to be anything complicated; just eat real food with real ingredients, and make sure you eat enough fruits, vegetables, and get lots of meat/protein. This is a good opportunity to practice cooking as well!

Save up as much money as you can. You’re more likely to be living at home now, so save while you don’t have as many bills to pay.

Don’t curse. Cursing makes you seem less intelligent, and it’s often mean-spirited. Swearing is also just not ladylike.

Practice cooking, baking, cleaning, learn an instrument (piano or violin are especially nice in my opinion) mending, knitting, decorating...any kind of traditionally feminine skill you are interested in, start practicing now. You want to start living your future dream life now as much as possible. Not only do you have more time to gain skills before you need them, but you also are able to determine if it’s really what you want or if you need to adjust your goals.

As for some beauty tips:

- Hair: Give yourself scalp massages, get a natural hairbrush (wood, boar bristle, etc) and brush your hair for 100 strokes every night, and then braid it or put it in a protective hairstyle before sleeping. Satin or silk pillowcases are also excellent. Do a hair mask once a week.

- Skin: Instead of focusing on covering up blemishes with makeup, focus on taking care of your skin! Drink lots of water, avoid touching your face, wash your face twice a day, and use a good moisturizer. Find out your skin type to figure out the best way to care for your skin.

- Teeth: Try oil pulling! It helps so much. Brush at least twice a day (not immediately after eating, though, as it can damage your enamel) and don’t brush too hard; you don’t want to damage your gums.

I’d also recommend finding a nice perfume/fragrance! I’ve avoided this until recently, as I’m very sensitive to fragrances and always got headaches. But I found that in my case, higher-quality perfumes don’t bother me, and so I’ve been wearing my signature perfume daily. Find a signature scent - for me, it’s peony. It makes you instantly recognizable when you walk into a room. You don’t want to wear too much of it, but having a nice perfume just makes me feel more feminine and happy, and I’ve been getting many compliments.

There’s more to be said, and it’s likely I’ve forgotten something, but I’ll leave it there for now. If you have any more questions, or if you want more specific advice on specific subjects, feel free to ask! I hope this was helpful to you in some way!

#asks #anon #long post

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realreulbbrband · 2 months

Note

About the character ask, you reblogged! What about Macavity?

Yay one of the characters I’m scared to talk about!! This won’t be hard!!

tw: mentions of slow death?

Why I like them

I like how his entire gimmick is just that he's evil and “not there” It really feeds into the fact he's a mystery cat and leads to a lot of fun speculation

Why I don’t

Besides the obvious things he probably put Demeter and Bombalurina through

These nasty Dumbo Ears, “I hear everything” looking aaaaa

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Ngl his fight with Munk, I feel like it's where we get to see him at his most raw if that makes sense

Favorite season/movie

Love him in 2019 since he seems to be more of a character there if that makes sense, and I really like his motivations there.

Favorite line

“I'll be back for you Demeter” (I think that's what it was) it's technically his only line on stage so

Favorite outfit

I'm especially fond of the Broadway revival look because of course I am look at him

OTP

I don't want to be harassed 😀

Uhh but from like a purely “canon” standpoint I really only see him as being in love with Demeter rn so let's go with that.

Brotp

While I don't play around with it too often I like the idea that he keeps Mungojereie around begrudgingly, he hates his guts but he's useful and Mungo often teeters the line of co-workers as pals and refers to Macavity as such which he happens to do on the occasions that Macavity isn't in the mood to stifle someone.

I don't know I haven't thought about him having friends a lot so that's the closest thing 🧍

Head Canon

his magic is slowly killing him; as a punishment courtesy of the everlasting cat. She gifted him with a power that was intended for the use of protection, and defense because in her eyes he was destined to be a tribe protector, never the leader despite his age.

and that made Macavity lose it, to be fair most jellicles assumed he’d take over after Deuteronomy strictly because of age and inheritance of magic but fate said otherwise and when his father told him he snapped. he grew disdainful, and easily tempered, and aggravated which led to him neglecting his duties completely and eventually boiling into him leaving the tribe.

but his powers only started to sting years later, when he’d hypnotize strays, attack the innocent etc. He was using a gift for harm and the everlasting cat didn’t like that. Soon his magic would take a lot more force to control, he grew tired more easily, his fur was thinning and even falling out daily, he got thinner and his mind was eating away at him. It was torture, just like the torture he had put so many others through.

Unpopular opinion

His portrayal in 98 is one of the weakest for me, his makeup was so overdone that he didn’t even look like a cat and the ways his scenes were edited were hard to follow in general.

A wish

I think it was Il sistina that did this but they had Macavity sort of spying or watching Demeter as she was singing his song (might have been Bomba’s part too) but I thought that was cool and you know more stage time for him so might as well. I just think it’s neat.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Idk a reboot happens and they try to give him so redemption arc would be pretty ehhhh and questionable for me

5 words to best describe them

Callous, Feral, Vicious (that’s at least what I think an alternate three words for him would be ) and then of course his regular three words Jealous, dangerous and hypnotic

My nickname for them

Dumbo ears Mac is like the only one I use to describe *that* design but I do like the “his ears are so big cause they’re full of secrets”

#Thank you for the ask!#macavitys really one of the characters who intimidate me cause I feel like there’s always that stronger “you get him or you don’t” emphasis #In the fandom That makes me avoid talking about him at all #But this was really so fun so I might talk about him more in the future #macavity the mystery cat

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0azrae7 · 7 days

Text

this has been on my mind for some time. through fic writing i've really come to notice how actually useful and beneficial feedback helps motivate me in writing generally. and how normal and healthy it is. i've had to really shut down the possibility of any and all feedback due to my npd, and because the feedback i was receiving previously was always "ur so amazing i wish i could write xyz like u" or "ur a god ur writing is so good" or "omg ur Actually ur muse" etc etc and as someone who, due to my mental health, relied heavily on others praise and compliments in the past because i quite literally couldn't regulate my own self-esteem ( and by setting the boundary to stop others from doing it, i've been able to gradually improve and develop this ), shit like that was actually really damaging for me to hear.

people were just outright enabling me, intentional or not. but i think it's so unfortunate i've had to outright be like "don't ever give me praise or feedback etc etc EVER" to prevent that from happening. and i think it's tragic people on tumblr can't give normal, healthy feedback. i guess this is me saying, without bombarding me, and without me actively asking for it ( i never reblog those kinds of memes ), if it ever crosses your mind when reading my writing or looking at my graphics or my metas etc, that you liked something specific i did or enjoyed something visual i made or whatever, please do let me know.

and i don't want to sound like i'm trying to control how you do this if you ever decide to, but things like "i really liked this specific thing you wrote in xyz thread / meta / headcanon etc, it was impactful and interesting to read" or "it was cool how you showed x emotion through action because that can be hard to do" are really useful, insightful and healthy. it's such a huge thing missing from the tumblr rpc. normal feedback. something i want to pursue is writing, as a career. i want to host a podcast, which involves scripts, i want to write / publish books, i enjoy entertaining others as well as myself through what i do.

i just think it's kinda tragic i have to sacrifice any and all feedback because people choose to say "ur a god, i am beneath u, ur the best at portraying x character" instead of "hey i liked how you portrayed that ptsd episode, it felt like i was living it" or "hey, how you wrote his dialogue here felt very human and real, nice one." and please know that if i notice specific things i like about your portrayal, your writing etc etc, i will let you know exactly like this and do not ever expect you to return the compliment. because that's another common thing i've encountered, either being praised in anticipation of being praised back or praising someone and them thinking they have to praise back. i like being real with people, and i like when people are real with me.

#it's ironic because people like me are demonised for how we view things as 'transactional'#and then i go on tumblr and am just exposed to endless people who behave superficially af and shit is SUPER transactional #it's so give to receive sometimes #or like... the fact that it's come down to #reblogging MEMES asking people to compliment you #instead of it coming naturally #i mean the rpc as a whole and i realise i can't change that #but i'd appreciate it if my mutuals would give this a look #i can cultivate my own experience / my dash etc #idk maybe it's my own disorders that cause me to be too logical about it all who knows #but the way people talk to one another on here is so fake to me #i spent my entire childhood pretending to be everyone BUT myself i know probably better than anyone what that looks like #but eh it just... idk i think i'd enjoy writing here more if it didnt feel so isolating?#feel like i cant bond w anyone even just over rp / our muses bc...#people say the wildest shit like HELLO?#ooc.#delete;

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valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn · 1 year

Note

Okey there's someone that compared mcu gorr with mcu Wanda. I don't think that fair. Yes, they both a parent and losing their kids.

But gorr motive it's look more understandable than Wanda in MOM, why? Simple we saw gorr losing his home, peoples, his daughter and basically everyone to rapu (asshole god) his worshipped to rapu became nothing, the worst part is rapu, want to kill him. Then necro sword choose him (thank to rapu to not hide dangerous sword), then gorr became vengeance and want all gods, because he finally see that all gods are selfish(he not wrong but not all gods). Now we not sure if gorr really full control or necro sword just half control him or he still in total control, because when necro sword got destroyed, gorr look almost normal.

And please, darkhold may corrupt the readers but readers still can choose.

Here's fun part, gorr look like not killed other creature beside gods race, he look like only kill adult gods, yes, he kidnapped new Asgard childrens but so far he not kill them, I menat he can just because they have gods blood or he can did it for whatever is that and he not justify his actions.

And there's Wanda killed everyone (not care what race they are) that on her way when she basically can choose not killed them, she even want to killed a a child, and planning kidnapping and don't forget when she send creatures to chasing America, America will spontaneous to jumping to other universes because scared, that meant creatures that Wanda sending, creating chaos and destruction to other universes and make mcu universes being target from other universes (thanks a lot Wanda). And worat part is she trying justify her action in name of mother grief.

So yeah , I think it's not fair for gorr to compared with Wanda. I meant he probably will causing destruction in his own universe of he wish to all gods dead but he didn't do it just because 'they in his way ' , also he didn't 'invited ' problem from other universes.

Sorry but gorr more sad than Wanda, and not I am not justify him, but remember Wanda basically make mcu universe be target from other universes.

What do you think about them?

I think there are a few things to take into account here.

Wanda's power is extraordinary so naturally, if you compare her actions to those of a less powerful character she's always going to stand out, not because her actions are worse, but because she's one of the most powerful characters in the MCU. It's like comparing a human losing control with Wanda doing the same: the human could assault an innocent on a street or kill someone... Wanda can literally rewrite reality and she says in her series that even after so many years she still doesn't understand her power.

Then, in MoM Wanda is entirely out of character. The writing was so bad that I find it hard to meta her motivations because they don't make sense when contextualized with her previous characterization, especially right after WandaVision. And we have Raimi and Waldron who confirmed they never saw the series... so trying to make sense of her behaviour is difficult for me.

I'm not sure the readers of the Darkhold truly have any control or free will though. We have two Stephen variants who renounced its power and control, so I suppose we can say that given the right person the power of the book is somewhat diminished, but we never see this with Wanda: We never see her fighting it, we never see her trying to break free and in the third act she doesn't renounce the book, she just snaps out of it when she sees her kids.

Regarding Gorr (the god butcher who only killed one god in the entire movie), his character could have been pretty good and I get why he was mad at Rapu but his so-called vengeance against all gods wasn't handled well imo. We never learn anything about him or his people, he has no time to shine other than a few scenes where Bale looks a bit menacing, he has no backstory... there's nothing there.

So to be honest I don't know who's worse, I just know both Gorr and Wanda were written horribly, their characterization was entirely superficial and their arc in the movies is entirely pointless. Or rather, they have no arc at all.

#wanda maximoff #gorr #anti love and thunder

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ray-talks · 9 months

Text

8/6/2023

today was a disaster.

as you can tell from my previous post, i binged today, and not only did i binge, i also had a bigger dinner than usual because of what my mom made. this is likely the most calories i have consumed over the past several weeks. i pretty much ate like a "normal person". i feel so disgusted. i ended up self-harming as punishment, but it doesn't feel good enough. i tried to purge, but that can only do so much, the damage is already mostly done.

the reason for all of this being, my mom forbade me from going on a long walk today, so i could only walk around 6.5km. furthermore, she yelled at me, accusing me of not eating enough and disappearing for hours on walks. she isn't wrong, but it is getting in my way. to dissuade her i ate breakfast. then, i felt like i couldn't control myself, and ate four pastries. this is humiliation.

i feel eager to move into my dorm so i can fast, and not be tempted to binge. but, then again, i am so de-motivated for things like school, that i am frightened i will fall behind. i really loathe myself at this current moment. i cannot restrict correctly. i feel like a wannarexic. i cannot do basic human functions. i'm so sick of myself.

i'm so genuinely worthless, that i cannot even do an eating disorder right. i am a clown, to be honest. i will restrict as much as possible throughout the week. i won't look at the scale for a few days, because i probably gained, and i cannot bear to see that. god, i don't even know what my future holds. it feels like it will either end swiftly or be a horrible, tangled mess where i'm the biggest failure imaginable.

i know all my behaviors let down the people i care about. i cannot stop them, nor do i even want to. it's just so pathetic. i'm tired of myself. i wish i could pass away, but that would be embarrassing, because i'm not skinny enough yet.

today, i thought about my past relationship, and all the embarrassing things i used to do to please her. how empty of a person i was, and still am. i feel so abashedly ashamed. all i can do is lay down and starve -- and i can barely do that correct. i have all these thoughts swirling in my head and it is hard to know what to do with them.

i know this post could be potentially triggering to those who read it, and that is not my intention. i'm just so frustrated that i'm blurting out words into the void. i hope whoever reads this has a better day than i did.

#ray talks #tw ana diary #mental health diary

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hoodievixen · 2 years

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The Voice of God [Steven Grant/Marc Spector x Priectess!OC] Part 7

Summary: Steven and Godeleve thought they finally found some normalcy with each other. Little did they know they would drag each other further into the mysteries ands secrets in their lives. (Godeleve can see and talk to Gods - mainly the Greek kind)

Word Count: ~ 3.3k

Warning: badly written fight scene, mentions of blood, slightly graphic descriptions, author has forgotten what a normal conversation is after the end of the world, no beta we die like men

A/N: Stuff is actually gonna start happening, so hopefully chapters will be out more frequently, as I would have more motivation to write them.

Part 6, Part 8, Master List

Godeleve had expected such a visit. It had been a night like any other. She had just finished washing the dishes and was heading to her room with a cup of water. All the lights in the house started flickering. That meant one of a handful of things. Only one being a good thing. Not knowing what it would be, she pulled out a dagger from the many she has hidden around the house.

The lights stopped flickering, rendering the house dark. Only streetlights and moonlight come through the windows. Standing before Godeleve was a tall figure cloaking in black with skin as white as a ghost.

Godeleve instantly recognized who it was, falling down to a knee, and holding the dagger to her chest. "My Lord Hades," she greeted him, "To what do I owe the honor?"

"Godeleve there is no need to kneel before me," he reminded her. "Please, stand."

Godeleve returned to her feet with a nod. "You out of them all deserve the respect put on your name."

Hades lightly shook his head, it wasn't in disapproval or disappointment, maybe a slight bit of amusement. "You also know that is all I would ask for would be your respect," he reminded her, "I never wished to put this upon you. But if anyone shall resurrect the title of Hero, it should be you."

"That title is given away far too easily in this age, I don't believe I would want it," Godeleve pointed out. "Though there are quite a few who have rightfully earned it."

"Child, I know you don't wish for grander beyond your control," the God told her, " If there was another I could come to with this, I would be there. But you are the last of your kind with the ability to complete this quest."

Godeleve cinged at the 'q' word. Never had it been a good thing in her mind. "If it comes from you, I shall do what I can," she told him, her hand clasped together behind her back.

"And all I ask," Hades promised. "However I ask of much. There is something disturbing in the order of it all. Souls moving on before their time, sent to a domain that was not their final destination, missing the judgment they were due. Then the barriers between the realms are unstable and thinning. The work my family and you're predecessor painfully created is quickly being destroyed. Those once trapped in Tartarus have returned to this realm."

"And the gods can't do anything?" Godeleve wondered. They could do just about anything they wished, why send a human to do their job.

Hades shook his head. "We have vowed not to interfere directly with the lives of humans. It had been like that since Pandora. We can only guide them and do what they ask of us." No blame to be put on the gods.

Godeleve bit her tongue. Gods could be quite hypocritical bending their own rules to how they want them to be. There were some that didn't do such a thing. Standing before her was one such god. One of the reasons why she served them. "How do you wish I deal with who is causing this?" Godeleve wondered. There were lines they had put out for her.

"Only do unto him what you see him do unto others. Make him stop his actions, and he will face judgment when his time comes," Hades explained.

Godeleve smirked. He told her if she sees him kill, she can kill him. By the sounds of it, she would just need to watch him long enough and she'll be done. If she could bring herself to kill him that is.

"I know I'm asking much of you," he told her. "While your blessing from the others will be much help to you, I shall bestow onto you one as well. I am the one asking you to do this."

In his hand appeared his own weapon. Godeleve had only seen it once before when Hades had used it for her. "This for you to wield," he told her, handing it to her. Godeleve hesitantly took it. She had been given weapons as blessings before, but they were not the god's weapon, just one bestowed onto her by them. "I have wielded this bident for eons, it holds a fraction of my power. Do not fear using."

---------------------------------------

She had believed this quest would have been easy to deal with. She could find the monsters, no problem. With myth, she knew how to take care of the beast, always easier said than done. But she was just treating the symptoms and not the illness. However, it seemed that around where monsters appear is where the actions that cause the ripples through reality take place. recently the monster has been in the same general area. So they have been lingering in the same place.

Monsters just like her, usually wait until the night before they come out. Godeleve just has to act quickly before they can do any harm. She was standing on the roof leaning against the bident in her leather armor which was her blessing from Hephestus. She had her phone in her hand, deciding the right playlist for the night, an air bud case dangling from her finger.

She never got to decide on which music to listen to before a shrill scream echoed through the seaside town. Godeleve rushed into the shadows. She had long since learned the scream of one's life in danger from that of regular fear.

Godeleve found herself in front of a quaint house, the front door thrown off its hinges. The next moment the window was shattered with a body thrown through it. No, the monster jumped through the window, dragging a crying child behind them. She spotted a crying hysterical mother through the hole that was once the window.

People probably saw a beautiful woman before them, not being able to comprehend the truth. Godeleve was cursed with comprehension. Before Godeleve was a monster with the upper body of a beautiful woman, with similar features to Godeleve, greek in origin. But her lag fused to one long snake tail with scales chipped from eons in Tartarus. Her eyes were yellow with slitted purples, and long fangs peaked out through her top lip, scaring her bottom from the fangs, once raw and constantly bleeding when the fang first grew. "Íroas," the monster hissed. Hero.

"Óchi, aplá mia kakiá iéreia," Godeleve corrected it. She wasn't a hero, she was just the only one left to do this job. "Now drop the kid."

"Den boreís na me stamatíseis," Lamia seemed to not fear her.

This was not a human, she could show all the brutality she was trained to have. Godeleve did not hesitate at lunging at the Lamia with the bident. It hissed as it dodge the first attack.

Godelve launched herself into the air, flipping over the beast. In mid-arch, she brought down the bident into the creature's arm. It wailed in pain, quick to slither away. One touch and it knew the weapon Godeleve wielded. With no hesitance, Godeleve raced after the beast.

The beast was quick and the streets were thin and curvy It was trying its best to get away from the priestess. Godeleve continued with no hesitance. She had put away the bident and had brought out a bow and arrow. Once with Aretemis' bless every shot she took would hit the mark. But Godelve had learned from years, and while it may not hit the mark, it did often hit the target. Godeleve got two arrows into the beast, and five within the walls of the town. One arrow stuff out from the left hip and the other out of the right shoulder blade.

The beast found its way to the town center, where the buildings were closer and taller. It did not understand the modern city planning and ran into a dead-end of building it had no chance of scaling. " Please, Fury," it begged. If it had knees it would have been on them. It even started using the same language Godeleve had used, not greek. "I was cursed to be this way. I was once mortal. Please pitty me and let me walk on mortal ground once again."

Godeleve returned to using the bident, it was the quickest way to kill such a beast and return it to where it belongs. "I know of your story Lamia," Godelve told them, " You were the one you sought to bring harm and misery to others before you were ever cursed. What the gods did is not ignorable, but neither is your own actions."

Godeleve was about to bring the weapon down on the beast, but something knocked the bident out of her hand. She looked to the ground to find a crescent blade on the ground next to her bident. Now standing between her was a mand wrapped in white linen and glowing white eyes. " I am the protector of the travelers of the night, I will not let you harm this woman."

"Move, Sailor Moon," she said simply, recalling the bident to her hand. First, this guy and his diety were stalking her, now preventing her from doing her job.

"You were about to slaughter this innocent woman," he pointed out, pulling out two more crescent blades. "I heard about weird things happening in the world, but never did I suspect another Avatar killing people."

"You know nothing," she hissed at him. "Now move."

"Sir!" the Lamia cried out. "Please help. This woman wants to kill me. She already killed my children!"

The moon avatar threw a crescent blade at her, which Godeleve didn't even dodge, just let hit her impenetrable armor. "You lying bitch," she scolded her. Godelve turned to the avatar, "She's lying. She's a monster, you can't tell cause it's in a different realm of comprehension that you don't understand. Just go and talk to your god, he'll explain."

"Pérase tóso polý apó tóte pou écho fáei, tha to kánei káthe ánthropos," the thing said, just to Godeleve. Why would it hunt down a small meal when a large one was right in front of it. Godeleve watching how in one quick movement the Lamia wrapped it's tail around his leg and lifted him into the air.

"Shit," Godeleve grumbled, pulling something out of her bag. she broke the wax seal with a strong grip. With a high jump she threw the herb pouch into the guy's face, as she came down she struggled on aiming the bident, only one prong went down, grazing the Lamia's side. With a hiss, it slithered away.

Godeleve brushed herbs off her hand onto her skirt with an annoyed groan. "You just couldn't leave this weel enough alone," she hissed at the guy.

He got up with a cough, still feeling the onset effect of the herbs. "What the hell was that?" he wondered.

"That was a Lamia, a greek monster that devours kids, so thanks, I need to find that again," she complained, already making her way out of the alley. "And it's going to be so much harder to corner now."

"No, what did you throw in my face?" he complained. "Ugh, it tastes like an old lady's house."

"It dried herbs, much like potpourri, " Godelve answered, "But their magic, and you are now high and can see other realms of comprehension. You'll be able to for three hours." Godeleve's glare grew sharp with determination, as her grip grew tighter on the bident.

She was a moment away from storming out of the alley when she felt a new presence arrive behind her. "Marc, what have you been doing?" the god asked.

"Now you show up," Godeleve sighed dramatically, turning around to face the Egyptian god of the moon. "You give him powers than don't supervise him?"

The bird skull ominously stared down at her. "You are but a priestess, what would you know?"

"Am I?" she asked dramatically. "Am I!?" She held the bident firmly in front of her.

Khonshu, though possessing no flesh, did appear to be confused. " I believed you to be a priestess of Hera?"

"She wanted me to, but things change," Godeleve told him, "Or you're thinking of my mother, who has been dead most of my life. Not like that matters to Gods, what's a short little human life to you?"

"Have you not been taught to show respect to those above you?" Khonshu commented on her sass.

"Yeah, but I find it to be as useless as the letter 'g' in lasagna," she commented, "Now tell your avatar what the hell is going on, or next time, I'm gonna stab him. Also, if you've been trying to deal with this mess, great job, cause the Greeks are now involved." Godeleve didn't even bother walking away and just disappeared into the shadows.

"What the hell is going on?" Marc asked, knowing he needed answers. It was rare he would ever get any though.

"Arthur Harrow's actions cause more problems than you know," Khonshu answered, "This world is in a fragile balance with others, he is messing with that balance, letting things lost to legend walk again. The one we just spoke to was the human tasked with dealing with those beings, as maintaining the balance."

"So we are on the same side," Marc pointed out, "We are both against Harrow."

"No we are not," Khonshu, "Marc Spector if you ever believe something I say, believe me when I tell you the Gods from across the sea are not to be trusted. They are closer to beasts than humans. They care nothing about themselves. Vain creatures they are. Those that serve them are no better. Be glad she fears you."

"You talk like you know here?"

"You've asked me this before Spector, you know her better than I," the god answered, "Now we have work to do." The god disappeared into the wind.

-------------------------------------------

Arthur Harrow wasn't a man to fight his own fights. He'd send someone else to do it for him. Very good at delegation, and summoning beasts from another realm to fight his enemies. Said he didn't like doing it but was always so eager to. Never had he been stopped before.

But there pierced in the cracks of magic was a two-proned weapon letting off a glow of darkness. "I got a question, for yah?" an annoyed voice said as they approached. Approached was a woman in leather armor, and a black cape tore up the middle. While her stature was short, the glare on her face was frightening. Dragged behind her was a decapitated body that only one other could see ended in a snake tail. In her other hand was the head, clutched by bloody hair.

"Do you know what you're doing?" she said, her ancient settling into something recognizable. Eastern European; Russian.

Harrow turned his attention away from Moon Knight to the new arrival. "Now I know it may appear frightening on the surface, but this is to heal the world," he explained with his honey-coated words.

The priestess wore an exaggerated look of confusion. She glanced at Marc for answers. "Is he being serious?" she asked. "Cause you're literally in the middle of summoning a demon... Not very helpful. Doesn't align any chakras, usually ends in someone dying, not a very healing process. Why don't you just hand over the cane, and go to therapy? I hear that's very healing, or can be."

" You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs," Harrow explained, "There needs to be sacrificed to make in order to reach a world we would all like to live in."

"Oh, you are talking big picture," she commented, setting down the body and head. "So, I'm guessing here, you want a world of no crime and peace. But in order to reach that, you are killing people," she held up a bloody finger, " before their time, so basically, murder, though usually, sadly, those are planned in the grand scheme of the universe, what you are doing isn't. In doing this you are condemning their souls with an incorrect judgment." A second finger went up and a large thick glop got flung onto the pavement. "YOUR judgment, which had been granted by anyone to give. Not to mention to destinations their soul had not wanted to go to. Daming them to damnation they didn't believe in. Then not to mention all your actions are messing with the way reality is structured." The third finger went up, and a drop of monster blood started flowing down her hand and forearm. "You are releasing madness onto this world, that you can't even comprehend. I needed to deal with a fucking Gorgon last week. Do you know how hard it is to return people to normal after being turned to stone? It's no wonder they didn't figure it out while the Gorgons were originally around."

Harrow, for once, looked shaken. Taking everything in from the bloody body, strange appearance, and her words, he would have assumed she was an avatar. But all the gods already had avatars or were sealed in stone. To his knowledge, there were no avatars from other pantheons. "What are you?" he asked.

The woman slicked her tongue and shook her head. "That's enough proof right there, hand over the cane," she spoke much as one would to a child. Harrow's grip instinctively grew tighter on the cane. "Dude, there are so many names to refer to me, and you don't know a single one. I would have also accepted Bitch, or Meddling Kid."

"I must apologize," Harrow said with a smile. "You must be something grander than my humble self would ever encounter. May I know who might be gracing my presence."

"Fine, maybe you'll realize how much you're fucking up then," she grumbled. "My name's Godeleve. I am a priestess, one of the few you are ruefully able to commune with the gods."

Marc was surprised by the name. There couldn't be two. Two priestesses with the same name. The same uncommon name. The height and build were the same. But the body language was different. The woman before him stood like an experienced soldier, and not a timid scholar. Of course, the nose was still the same, and other facial features now that he looked at it. Her eyes were still dark, but now blue and not brown. Then her hair was short, barely to her chin, at the roots it was dark but the ends were lighter from time spent in the sun. Godeleve had long brown hair. He remembered that one night, Godeleve was one to wear disguises and good ones.

"I thought those with such gift died out long ago," Harrow confessed. "But I see that was wrong. We would love to have someone such as yourself join our cause. You must know of how the gods have abandoned us, we must take it into our own hands."

Godeleve paused for a moment, "Oh... It's a cult... why did it take me this long to realize it? " She shook her head. "Nah, I'm good. But you do sound like one yourself?"

Harrow was visibly confused. "A god," Godeleve answered, "Condemning all those around you while holding yourself to a higher standard. Ignoring your own wrongdoings.

I passed this guy carrying a dead kid. It was terrifying, all ashy like all life was sucked out of him. I can only assume that was your doing. Killing kids for such a pitiful reason sounds like something a god would do. And something this thing would do." She nudged the body with her foot.

Godeleve held out her hand and the bident returned to it. "Now hand over the cane or your gonna have to deal with more than Sailor Moon over there."

#moon knight #Moon knight oc #moon knight x reader #moon knight x oc #moon knight fanfiction #marc spector #marc spector x reader #marc spector x oc #steven grant #steven grant x oc #steven grant x reader #Khonshu #the voice of god series

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erabundus · 1 year

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anonymous &&. said... How do you think Ren would handle the knowledge that Ei tried to give him the gnosis before he awoke, only to stop when he started crying in his sleep?

❝ i already knew that. ❞ he spits the words like they're VENOMOUS. of course he does — such is ( was ) the beginning of all his obsessions. it's one thing to be discarded upon his creation; a proof of concept needs only to exist, after all. it's another to know he came so very close to fulfilling a real purpose — only to have it torn callously from his unsuspecting grip. she thought him WEAK for something he couldn't control. deemed him FRAGILE before he had ever so much as greeted the world and been tested beneath its weight. she had the audacity to determine what was best for her creation before even meeting him — and her so-called act of mercy was nothing more than a COWARD'S way of averting her eyes from RESPONSIBILITY.

it stings; ren ( almost ) wishes he didn't know. the knowledge of his own incompleteness, of his weakness was one of the motivators that sent him SPIRALING down such a twisted path to begin with. he wanted so badly to prove himself to her. to show what a mistake she made in discarding him. he thought, if he could only get his hands on the gnosis ( on the HEART she stripped away ) perhaps he would finally be able to feel COMPLETE — and that hollow void in his chest would cease its relentless aching.

he wanted her to LOOK AT HIM. ( he can be strong. he is strong. ) for once in his life, please, just look.

... yet despite the lengths he went to, she never did. what a joke.

❝ my very first MEMORY, ❞ ren continues bitterly, ❝ is of her telling me i wasn't good enough. ❞ he remembers how uncomfortable the floor felt beneath his ( useless ) legs. he remembers her voice ( soft, cold and matter of fact ) as she explained the reason behind his creation. he remembers how he could only sit and stare, a NEWBORN unable to speak a word in his defense. it was only later that he could look back upon their one-sided conversation with newfound comprehension, and curse the flaws etched into his very design. why would she build a PUPPET that could cry, only to shun him for it? gods truly were so fickle and contemptible.

he clenches his fists, nails biting into the flesh of his palms. ❝ it doesn't matter anymore. ❞ ren says, voice bleeding into a laugh. ❝ what's done is done; she's FORGOTTEN me now, just like everyone else. ❞ any answers, any closure he sought was well beyond his reach.

#anonymous #( happy mother issues saturday everyone -- )

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d0stoevskysposts · 1 year

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Dostoevsky’s Ability (BSD) Theory

Enjoy my Theory on what I think Fyodor’s ability is, it’s importance, + detailed analysis on chapter 105.5

As we see here, Nikolai is holding his hand—but wait, how did he not die? wasn’t that apart of Fyodor’s ability?

Yes, that is true… but there’s more to his ability than that, obviously.

“Yeah but, like what?”

I think there are many possibilities as to why this is true. Here’s what I think:

Fyodor is able to control who he kills by touch.

Fyodor can kill via his mind. (This kind of goes hand-in-hand with possibility number 1).

And lastly, all of the above.

Personally, I think that number 3 is the most likely possibility. I think that Fyodor can control who it is he kills, and that is when he activates his ability.

Sure yeah, that may be true—but even so, that does not explain what his ability EXACTLY is, and the purpose of it…

Allow me to answer that for you with more detail provided.

Manga Chapter: Bungou Stray Dogs, Chapter 53.

Anime: (Episode 12 in Season 3).

Crime And Punishment

Now, let’s dive straight into what his ability might be, shall we?

Let’s say that his ability is controlled by Fyodor.

He believes that crime is sinful, but yet he commits crimes himself—that is because he believes every ability user to be sinful, including him, too. But apparently to him, his way of murder is justified, because unlike everyone else—he kills for evil to be stopped, or rather, for evil to be punished, and to rid the world without sinful gifted ability users like himself. Therefore, those who defy him deserve to be punished with a taste of their own medicine—crime itself. Which, (according to his motives and all that he has stated so far), is assumed to be the existence of ability users themselves.

To sum it all up simply: Crime = Ability users themselves = Punish crime = And punish all ability users with an inevitable death.

As we can see here, the existence of ability users is simply a “crime”, to Fyodor. He describes them to be “sinful.” (Later on I will do some analysis’ on his actual character, and why I think he haves these beliefs, why he acts on them, despite being an ability user himself). Back to my main point, I do think that his ability allows him to kill whomever he wishes with a single touch.

(which is not entirely all that great because someone could shoot him down from a far distance, and there are plenty ways to kill someone without touching them).

In the photo provided here, it shows how Fyodor believes himself to be the “right hand of god.”

With this in mind, If he believes that to be true, then that should be enough to show his motives behind his killings.

He might believe that because he was born with this ability, only HE can be God’s right hand, because only HE can achieve a world without sin for God. Only HE can be God’s “servant.” Given that fact, of course he would strongly believe this to be evidently true. And of course, God would never want people to sin. If Fyodor carries through with God’s wishes, he believes that God will listen to him and allow him to commit murder if it means achieving his wishes. This only makes his ability even more suited for him as a character, which I personally am quite fond of.

Now, let us move on to the more recent chapters, shall we?

SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 105.5

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manga Chapter 105.5

“Fyodor killing . . . with a gun? Why not use his ability? Wouldn’t that be much quicker?”

Assuming that Fyodor can control his ability and kill whenever he pleases as long as he is touching another person, why not use it?

I have thought of many possibilities.

He was trying to let Dazai and Sigma HEAR Cat Lady die. Since there was only an intercom microphone, and not like a visual screen or anything.

His ability requires too much thinking, and we all know that Fyodor wanted to be brief—since he was soaked and physically weakened.

He cannot use his ability if he cannot think about (or possibly visualize) killing someone. This kind of connects with possibility 2.

Every time he uses his ability, it may physically impact his body some way, and because Fyodor had to endure what Dazai put him through, (which was forcing him to avoid drowning), it was a big challenge for him and he was rather too weak to use his ability, if that makes sense. Again, this also connects with possibility 2 and 3, in a similar way.

All of the above, excluding number 4.

Just wanted to note that:

He is clearly touching her with his hand, pinning her down that way, so that clearly indicates he is able to control his ability with whomever he chooses. That is certain fact, for sure. Same goes for Nikolai.

I believe the most likely possibility is either number 5, or number 1 by itself.

Another little thing I noticed that doesn’t exactly have to do with “deciphering his ability”, but decided I want to mention it anyways.

Fyodor killing with a gun instead of his ability is rather ironic, and kind of funny considering that he didn’t even need the gun to kill, just his ability would have worked. That is kind of like a form of “mockery” to Dazai, doesn’t it?

Think of it as a conversation in that moment.

“I have killed this woman, but I used a gun instead of my ability, fully aware that you know I could have done it that way, but instead I chose to kill her like this instead. How does that make you feel, Dazai? I am laughing at your reaction to the sound of her death by my gun. I did it just so you could hear her scream cut off with a bullet jolting to her head.” ~Fyodor

“Why, you little. . !” ~Dazai

I mean, that itself practically screams just how cruel Fyodor can be.

And . . with simply such a small detail like that?

In a way, this detail is pretty small, and may be hard for many to truly decipher,—but I think the reasoning behind that small detail also made it one of the biggest details in contribution to Fyodor’s character as a whole. It really does speak a lot about him (but I am not going to go into full detail, since that is not the main reason why I made this post).

My Theoretical Postulation.

He seems to be big on “returning the favor”, no? Doesn’t this also go hand-in-hand with crime and punishment? In a sense, I think that it most certainly does.

Conceptually, this abstract idea of mine has always existed, but I could never quite put it into words until I saw chapter 105.5., showing more of Dostoevsky’s dark (and maybe even more desperate) side. He refers to himself in a religious-way once again, as we see many times, highlighting his very obvious beliefs that he is a “subordinate of God.”

He remarks that Dazai put him through a very stressful situation, considering that even though he finds that the trial suited him quite well, it unfortunately caused undeniable harm to his “very weak” physical body. Thus, because of what Dazai did, Fyodor says that he will “punish” Dazai by giving him “the same trial.” And it would appear that he does.

Now . . . doesn’t that kind of sound like a portrayed idea of “crime and punishment” itself?

To me, it undoubtedly does. I love analyzing a bunch of the little things and some of the bigger things so that I can connect them altogether, and fit them all into one big picture. It’s like putting together a complicated puzzle full of possibilities, meaning, and ideas.

Clearly, Dostoyevsky’s personality (and character in general) can be rather based mainly upon these abstract beliefs of his, and just about all of his actions revolve around that idea, does it not?

They all have to do with crime and punishment.

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bunnyshot-a · 2 years

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»»———-　　ＢＵＮＮＹＳＨＯＴＡＮＳＷＥＲＳ ———-««

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ INBOX PROMPT ࿐ྂ ╰─▸ ❝ @ragnfinder ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Accepting ‼ ༻ rolls up my sleevesies c:

[ BEG ] ; the sender begs the receiver to touch them.[ BEHIND ] ; the sender takes the receiver from behind.[ BITE ] ; the sender bites the receiver somewhere on their body. [ CHOKE ] ; the sender chokes the receiver. [ CUT ] ; the sender cuts the underwear off the receiver.

the pads of his fingers tiptaptip a delicate trail up the underside of her chin. breath is a warm billowing need - short puffs against a nape made nude by another question hand. "amber..." those fingers slide until her jaw rests between forefinger & thumb, until he can squeeze ( but softly ) as has become a thing of comfort to do.

& maybe he has her cornered against the bookcase in varka's office.

they're alone, anyway - perfectly safe in the shadow of the open door. his voice flits from him, "amber, please-" reedy & barely audible. there can be no interruption now or he won't protect her modesty like has become a preference. ah, but she smells so good ( so very like herself ). so good in fact there can be no other option but to taste- the press of teeth, the faint insistence, the tremulous scrape of them.

"amber-"

jittery. hopped up on a need that cannot but seek out the fulfilment it has come, gluttonously, to expect. to be held, & simply, & with no motive more ulterior than mutual enjoyment. she wants nothing from him. not in any of the ways that have become his life. how could there be anything but this craving?

bold always & now reckless: kaeya sinks a finger under the waistband of her shorts. the mere fold of her underwear is enough to stutter his breath-- so close, so very close to her / how she allows him this! --& with a little groan he plays dirty. cold & coldest, the chill crystallises: a clawed nail for finger's tip. it's good enough. the tension of her panties / straining against his touch- falls slack.

"let me have you,"

she won't. not here, not like this- but all he needs to know is that she wants it.

»»——— 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ———-««

He wasn’t playing fair.

No, he never played fair.

The pressure of his body against hers, how his hands and fingers trailed up her neck, the sharp press of his teeth ; Ooh. Amber was never good at keeping quiet, && it takes everything to keep her pitiful moans trapped against pressed lips, wishing she could duck her head and hide away from her burning expression. Move away from the cause of this arousal.

❝ C-Come on, don’t say my name like that. ❞ She whines, her voice mumbled and filled with irritation; irked, and flustered beyond repair. Did he have any idea what he was doing to her⁉

Did he know where they WERE right now⁉

Of course he did;

She’d gasped at his approach at first, trying to hit at his side for even prodding the idea, but he had such a gentle, slow way of teasing her, knowing she crumbled under the intimate building of pace, and god, as his hands travelled under her pants, she can’t hold back her choked intake of air.

Legs involuntarily squirm under his touch, her breaths loud, && all too vocal for their current location. ❝ Kaeya! ❞ She couldn’t believe this! First, she feels the coldness from his touch, and it stills her, causes her exhale to shake, before she feels the soft, delicate fabric slack as he pulls- her pulse throbs, body burning with a fierce intent; lost within this limbo, desire began it’s fight with her honour as a Knight.

Ever the do-gooder, she manages to swallow, && ignore how his words cause a chill to run up her spine. Let me have you. But she can’t ignore the way every fibre of her being wants to whirl around, and push them both to the ground.

❝ I- No way! N-Not here! ❞

Amber manages to HUFF out her response, hands gripping at his wrist, and her whines are not just ones of limited frustration, but a way for her to regain control of her damn hormones. ❝ Y-You know why! As Knights- ❞ Oh, he won’t listen to her spiel, not when his breath is still lingering upon her neck like that.

She wants it, of course she wants his touch; she wanted him. She loved the way his breath became uneven at her actions && his demeanour dropped from the everyday persona he played as a Knight. She loved when he said her name like this.

Instead, she forces herself to move from within his grasp, && with a loud sigh, she stomped her foot as expression twists. She was going to have to go HOME and put a new pair of panties on...

❝ Ooh! That was my favourite pair by the way! ❞

In a way to disburse their current moment,

she may have said this far, far too loudly.

#ragnfinder #𝕭 ╱｡･:*:･ﾟ☀ ᵢ𝒸~ inbox. ◜ ♪ᴴᵐᵐ~ ʰᵐᵐ~ ʰᵐᵐ~ ʰᵐᵐ~ ʰᵐᵐ~ᵎ ◞ ⊹#𝕭 ╱｡･:*:･ﾟ☀ ᵥₑᵣₛₑ~ 01. ◜ ᴏᴜᴛʀɪᴅᴇʀ ; ᴳᵉᵗ ʳᵉᵃᵈʸ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᴳˡᶦᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᶜʰᵃᵐᵖᶦᵒⁿ ᵒᶠ ᴹᵒⁿᵈˢᵗᵃᵈᵗᵎ ◞ ⊹#𝕭 ╱｡･:*:･ﾟ☀ ᵢ𝒸~ interaction. ◜ ᴶᵘˢᵗ ˢᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳᵈ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵐʸ ʰᵉˡᵖᵎ ◞ ⊹#suggestive /#nsfwish /#( Amber knowing she can't STAY QUIET FOR ONE- )#( Amber is the good Knight. She'd GASP in horror if someone suggested this ; THIS IS - THIS OFFICE - AS A KNIGHT THIS IS - )#( but she's also uH a little feral rabbit at times )

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