#part of the issue is i don't knOw

[queerestqueertoeverqueer]

me vs expressing my feelings using actual words challenge (impossible)

#this post was sponsored by Head Of Sixth Form Told Me To Write Her A List Of “Everything I'm Worried Sbout” #...ALL OF IT?? #part of the issue is i don't knOw #she's lovely and like she is not obligated to go to all this effort to help me and like. i do not know what to do now 😭 #i can't put it into actual words?? #how am i meant to explain any of my feelings without low quality reaction images and deflecting with shitty jokes </3 #anyway i need to do it before monday. Somehow #robin rants >:)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

#apollo don't fucking touch this one #serious post #not a shitpost #hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day #fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists #i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it. #so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you? #what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown #at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal #i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid #like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies #and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line #probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored #luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap! #watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry #while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent #also eggs are $15

[kwillow]

Old Wounds

So excited to finally post this comic collab between @chocodile and I! She did the initial thumbnails and colors and provided the evil wizard rabbit, and I did the script, sketch and lines and provided the pathetic prettyboy unicorn.

Old Wounds is a look into the alliance between Duke Hyden and Lord de Luxe, an alliance that winds up being a mere ploy for Hyden’s experimentation with unicorn blood and leaves Ambroys feeling rather drained (and often unconscious on Hyden’s floor). It takes place towards the end of their “friendship”, after there’s some serious bad blood between the two - bad blood that sustains a centuries-long grudge.

(Well - I say “bad blood,” but Hyden seems to think the blood is juuuust fine.)

#sorry if you saw me upload and delete and re-upload this - tumblr wouldn't let me post this unless I #specifically made page 7 smaller than the other pages. I don't know why. #this is such a functional website #chocodile says ambroys is a poor little meow meow in this #a poor little neigh neigh if you will #but I promise outside of this circumstance he's a horrible awful git with barely restrained rage issues #and there's a reason he has to work with hyden of all people #it's just that he's a coward #and Hyden is the Alpha Villain around these parts #ANYWAYS... hope this post works this time and I hope you guys like it! we worked very hard on this! :'D #comics #ambroys #amaranthine #my draws #furry

[laceratedlamiaceae]

I love this shot so much. Izzy just standing alone in the background, watching everyone else having a good time while looking annoyed and vaguely disgusted... I'm still so amazed that the writers managed to make a character so intensely relatable.

#i don't want him to become part of the crew i want him to get one (1) friend to stand judgmentally in the background with him #(that friend being jim of course unless they bring in a new character) #also going off that post i reblogged earlier: #i don't get the take that he was somehow in the wrong for not immediately becoming a completely different person on the revenge #like i know ed kind of did that but that's not a good thing? and it's indicative of his own issues around identity and vulnerability? #our flag means death #ofmd #izzy hands

[embroid-away]

What If: Captain America Were Revived Today? #44 (April 1983) by Peter B. Gillis and Sal Buscema; Original Image by John Romita Sr.

In this What If? Marvel tale, Captain America is unfrozen in 1983 rather than the 1960s. Without the leadership of Steve Rogers, The Avengers disband. Meanwhile, a Captain America imposter, who calls himself a "real American," has decided to use his newfound influential media status to publicly support a National Identity Card to "deal with illegal aliens,” to suggest that members of civil rights groups "ought to think seriously as to whether or not their actions contribute to the strengthening of communist enemies," and declare that if those groups tear the country apart with protests, martial law is justified "for the peace to find a solution.”

Neighborhoods with large black populations (e.g., Harlem) are walled off and forced into poverty, and one character even mentions that Jewish people are being “put back into camps.” The right-wing politicians make sure that things like this aren’t shown on television, keeping the majority of the American public ignorant of the horrors committed with their indifferent support. The public are simultaneously told that with some sacrifices, America can be free once again. The fake Captain America confronts a group of peaceful protestors, and he is shot by a sniper (in what reads like an inside job), allowing the police to have “reason” to attack the protestors. The imposter does not die and instead uses the attack to provide more reason for the violent crackdown against protesting groups.

When the true Captain America is unfrozen, he is horrified to see what America has become, especially with his emblem stamped all over it. He immediately seeks out the resistance forces (who clearly represent the Black Panther Party) and joins their cause, stating that "the wrongs [he's] seen will take much more than one man to right -- but [he's] got a name to clear, a costume to unsoil-- and a country to die for!!"

By the time Steve joins them, the resistance only has one chance left to stop the American downfall: a political convention where the "America First" party will be able to secure its support to sweep the national elections and allow them "to return America to the pure and great nation [the] forefathers envisioned."

The resistance strikes just as the convention begins. The Captain America imposter is no match in a fight against the true Captain America -- especially against a Steve Rogers who's fucking pissed. ("Get up so I can knock you down!!")

With the imposter knocked unconscious, Captain America addresses the convention crowd, warning that an America that does not represent all its people does not deserve to exist at all; that liberty can be "as easily snuffed out [in America] as in Nazi Germany" and "as a people, we are no different from them."

The crowd realizes that the man speaking before them is the true Captain America and cheers. Captain America holds his hand up and silences them, stating that he will not allow them the chance to simply replace one idol with another. He alone can’t undo the horrible damage, and he pleads that there’s still a chance for the people to “find America once again.”

Fascism doesn’t change its tune, just its singers.

A 2021 Marvel Trumps Hate ( @marveltrumpshate ) commission, completed on 22-count aida cloth with embroidery floss and watercolors on a 9" diameter bamboo hoop.

#captain america #Steve Rogers #hand embroidery #fuck fascism #if you don't think cap says 'trans rights' then you're a fascist #i reread the issue to write the summary and it is a powerful stand-alone story #40 years later and still relevant #a part of me was worried that it wouldn't translate well to current events and.... welp #the commissioner asked that i make one minor change of 'freedom of all men' to 'freedom of all people' #i think that is a very appropriate update and i think 2023 cap (and good cap writer) would support the change #i know this is a super long post with a lot of image text -- if someone wrote Image ID text for me I'd be super grateful and i'll reblog it! #embroidery art #textile arts #embroidery #needlework #needlecraft #comics #mixed media #my work #also just let it be known that the first thing steve rogers says when he wakes up is: #'all right nazis! what have you done with Bucky?!' #(the Bucky in the issue is a fake too) #(the real Bucky will still be dead for another 20 years :(((((( )

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 23?

DPxDC merfolk-esqu Au where the Infinite Realms is akin to a giant ecto-ocean. Ghosts look similar to merfolk, though some more deep-sea esque or alien while others look more human. Some look more human when in the living realm (unless summoned) while others don’t change. 

This also shifts to ghost-speak, which is similar to things like whale calls mixed with dying screams and other echoes of their deaths. The crackle of a housefire, the rumble of electricity, the crackle of breaking rocks, the crash of heavy waves. It’s a beautiful but haunting song. 

Danny, being a Halfa, can of course shift between human and ghost, but this has resulted in his ghost form being only the slightest bit humanoid while his human form looks too human. Too perfect, almost fae like while his ghost form looks like some sort of galaxy-esque deep sea creature with hands and a torso. 

This is a bit of an issue when he ends up chasing one of his rogues out of Amity and runs into people who don’t know about ghosts. Who in turn call the heroes about the two monsters fighting in the fields. 

#at this point I don't know the number but whatever lol #Naughty ghosts get put in fish tanks #They better hope they haven't hurt the lil space baby or else the big dad time eel will come knocking #ghost speak #the issue isn't helped on if they can't understand phantom or the ghosts #merfolk au #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny fenton #justice league #Danny is like a baby super predator to other ghosts #they don't want to kill him lest the parent comes knocking but they also don't want him skulking about their territories either #They don't realize Amity is part of his territory they're just goin through the door to see the living realm again #The heroes are more wary about Phantom than the rogue thanks to him being more creachur looking #The rogue is shrieking angrily and also terrified of if they make the baby space ancient upset *while they're in space*

[loafofryebread]

I can never seem to brainrot over books/movies/shows as intensely or for as long as minecraft smps

My brain sees a professional piece of media with a coherent story line and is like nahhh but at some guys playing a block game it loses its shit

#Skill issue on my part ig #It's happened so many times #i don't know why #mcyt #just saying words

[hellyeahsickaf]

Having grown up with pretty severe undiagnosed ADHD one of my core memories will always be the teacher in 6th grade that would go out of his way to humiliate students that weren't reading enough. Idk how common this was but we had AR points. Essentially a system where if you read a book you could take a quiz on it and get points if you passed, with each book being worth a different amount of points. A very short book might be 3 points, a book the size of Harry Potter might be worth 40-70. You get it

I was actually good at literacy, I had the highest literacy score in that class. But audiobooks weren't really much of a thing yet and sitting down to read a book was virtually impossible, it's something I still struggle with and thought I was stupid for. I knew how to read and was great at it, even liked the material, but physically sitting down and reading a book was close to impossible. There were kids with hundreds of AR points and I had idk, probably less than 25.

And every few weeks this asshole would have all of us line up from most points to least. He'd go through, first hyping up the front of the line saying how impressed he was. He'd tell the next few they were doing well, to keep it up. Further down tell them to pick up the pace, but god help you if you were within the last 6 or so (some of them had the same issue as me, VERY likely also something undiagnosed)

He'd spend most of this time on those last few students. Berating these 11 year olds individually and intentionally humiliating them, telling them how there are 7 year olds who read more than us. He'd say we had no future, at least nothing better than minimum wage at McDonald's. That or we'd be on the streets. He was the type to bully neurodivergent kids every chance he got and boy that was damaging.

Wasn't the first or last teacher of mine to bully and shame kids and other teachers knew he did this so they'd send them to our classroom. He'd sometimes take an entire hour (I'd counted) out of our class time just humiliating this kid or few kids sent in for things like not doing their work or causing disruptions. He'd sometimes put their sloppy unfinished work or something on the projector and make fun of it. If the kid started crying he'd tell them to suck it up or call them names. And he was actually really well liked by the students, just the ones he wasn't an abusive motherfucker to

#disability #actually disabled #adhd #actually neurodivergent #adhd brain #actually autistic #autism #autistic #actually adhd #ableism #i wish mr. Q a very kill yourself #you know the teacher that would pick a select few nd kids to target the whole year #yup that was him. fucked up part is i wasn't even in those few #just got called out when we'd line up but this one girl like #ok i don't like to armchair dx but that was an adhd kid if i ever met one #chatty with volume control issues. inattentive. couldn't organize. always got yelled at to #stop bouncing her leg or fidgeting. struggled to sit still #and boy did he target her #hope she's doing alright

[quirkle2]

Shigeo still doesn’t know how to answer. He hasn’t answered, and he knows that’s weird, and maybe a bit creepy, but it’s also characteristic of him, so maybe he doesn’t need to stress over it. He simply sits there in the heavy rain instead and watches Reigen’s pink tie get dragged by the gales. And then Serizawa crouches down, lowers his hand out, and shelters Shigeo’s head with the draped fabric of a clear umbrella. In Shigeo’s world, the rain stops.

scene from my wip fic recondite :]

#qkdraws #id in alt #jay you've GOTTA stop jumping into projects u don't know how to do . rainwater on Any surface is not ur specialty #actually ykw scratch that. that's how u learn #follow ur dreams kids #im so happy i can finish big pieces in one day now. started this just earlier today #i've always wanted to do that and now i can. success <3 #also i've realized over the years that sometimes u jump into a project and expect one part to be hard #but that part is actually the easiest bit and some other trivial bullshit is the issue. yeah the umbrella #doing the umbrella was fine. doing the rainwater ? uhm i did my best #ALSO also sorry that this is the same snippet i posted a while ago i just think this scene means a lot to the both of them #and i think abt it a good bit #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mob psycho #shigeo kageyama #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #serizawa katsuya #mp100 serizawa #ayyyee two for two on actual backgrounds in art for this fic. wowie

[thistledown-moved]

So funny when people make posts like "if you REALLY had [disability here] you wouldn't be ABLE to have a social media account" like god forbid disabled people do anything that isn't lament in total isolation until they are Fixed or until they die.

#thistle--down #disability #tw fakeclaiming #i shan't address the post that originally baited me into posting this because- #30 seconds on their blog was enough to see it was All about the attention for them and i refuse to give it to them. #disabilities do make social media difficult. be it pain or fatigue issues. motor issues. intellectual issues. ptsd and trauma issues. #others that are no doubt slipping my mind right now. #like you aren't going to see the people who aren't able to uae social media on the internet. #you aren't going to know when aomeone takes a step back from social media unless they tell you. #otherwise - all you see is a dead blog. a gap of a few weeks or months perhaps (if they return) #you dont see the systems people have in place to Use social media unless they show you (and you are not entitled to being shown) #social media is a huge part of modern life. diaabled people don't need to avoid it to prove to some fucking creature on the internet #that they are Disabled Enough. #get the Fuck out.

[daz4i]

wait so chuuya has angel imagery about him in stormbringer. and dazai is referred to as a demon on more than one occasion. and. hold on. wait. I'm going insane. hold on.

#don't try to figure out the grammar of this post I'm too lazy and having too many thoughts for that rn. #ANYWAY are they literally an angel/demon ship. in a way. bc if so. the dan rights are insane #I've been thinking abt this for awhile idk why it took me so long to post abt it #I'm ngl demon dazai as a concept is already enough to give me rights personally he truly is just like me fr #and . you know how insane i am abt angels. tbh chuuya would make a really good angel he's loyal and has humanity issues doesn't he. #also he is a Fucked Up Creature :) love that about him. but yeah that's another part of it #i wish there was like. more of that. more than just that one time symbolism. i need more. so i can write an essay abt angel chuuya #(if there is and i just missed it PLEASE send it my way. i am asking nicely 🔫) #(ig you could argue he's like an angel saving the ada in this arc but... eh that's not direct enough for me)

[stergeon]

> FERDINAND II.

And so your PLANT shall henceforth be known as FERDINAND II.

The thought of needing to inform FERDINAND I of his having a namesake makes you a bit ill, but you are already hard at work devising several plausible excuses for the gesture. Something about how you've named it after the one most invested in its naming, or how it is similarly prone to drooling. Yes. Yes, you will be able to deflect quite easily, should the need arise. It has nothing to do with your fondness for FERDINAND or your desire for a substitute in his imminent absence, no—again, you are not so prone to sentimentality. It's about the drool.

Well, anyway. Best to move on with your day and think about something else, lest you grow maudlin or cultivate further affection for the PLANT. May the GODDESS be merciful and never cause you to develop inclinations that could be described as paternal.

Now that your plant has received sufficient care, it is time for COFFEE. You set to making your morning brew. By CHANCE, there happens to be sufficient water remaining in the kettle for FERDINAND I to have TEA, should he wish it.

Per your TIMEPIECE, it is now a quarter to eight. You have made excellent progress on your PRE-BREAKFAST TO-DO LIST thus far: the only remaining task is to remove FERDINAND. You are starting to get rather peckish and would like to be rid of him quickly, but over the past week, you have found that extracting the man from YOUR QUARTERS is a more arduous task than it ought to be.

#007 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS

#fire emblem #hubert von vestra #fe16 #ferdibert #hpnd #sterge.pptx #fe3h #sorry this was late lol #late according to the update schedule i don't have #as the poll was wrapping i thought 'wouldn't it be fucked up to make a game where you make coffee.' #never mind that 1. i've barely made any games #2. i had no idea how to make a multi-part game #3. i wanted to turn it around in ~24 hours #i actually Did finish the game in about a day but i still had to write a post and draw the bg + the panel #if the game doesn't work: sorry #it Should work on mobile (android and ios) but it is pretty finicky #it works Better on desktop but that's not saying much #if you run into any showstopping issues: please lmk so i can fix it #did Some bug testing (aka made my friends do it for me) but not a lot lol. again: short turnaround time #i know there's a bug with the message/alert windows if you click through things too fast but idk what i did and i don't really care lol #maybe i'll fix that eventually #i'd like to also make it smoother and add some more animations but i kinda doubt i'll get around to it #pretty pleased as i did the entire game with pure css and no images except the fireplace #idk if that's cool to anybody else but it makes me happy #god dog… that background is screwy. need to fix that. #i will fix it someday. [lie]

[liquidstar]

This is such a tangent btw but on the topic of guilt tripping and reblogs... I remember a few years back there were some terrible fires in Greece (and again this year, entire island villages are gone now) and at that time I had family who were caught in them. I can't describe the desperation I felt with these horrible things happening to my family and loved ones in my country. And I remember being frustrated and desperate with how no one around me in America really seemed to give a shit. I remember blogging asking people to PLEASE care please share something please reblog this link for mutual aid please think about the stories and fires etc etc etc. And the thing is I was very much in a state of grief myself, maybe not every word or action was perfectly reasonable, because I don't realistically expect everyone everywhere to care about every tragedy in the world. You can't. Emotionally it's just not possible, especially with all the stuff going on in the states rn too. Yeah it's a lot. It's not like I blog about every tragedy that ever happens either. I understand.

HOWEVER what I also remember was at this time there were a couple mutuals very clearly making vagueposts along the lines of "remember not everyone has the energy to care about everything in the world uwu" while I was posting about family who died and family who were drifting in the ocean for hours as their homes and loved ones burned. Listen. You have to understand sometimes that when a person in grief and frustration with things going on in their countries and communities impacts them very personally beg you to care... It's coming from a place of needing to see that care in the world in general. They're not holding a gun to your head Specifically saying you have to reblog the posts, if you don't have the energy just ignore it.

You don't have to go out of your way saying "um actually I can't care about the horrible stuff you and your family and your country are experiencing rn. I'm too busy focusing on my own stuff so can you be quiet or more reasonable with your grief thanks." Like. Just keep it to yourself then??? Have some fucking sympathy for other people and understand that maybe it's not always logical. The same way you don't have the emotional energy to think about every tragedy in the world, people who've been impacted by them often don't have the emotional energy to handle that alone and may seek somekinda community or solidarity. Idk. It's not about forcing shit on you sometimes it's not about you

#part of me thinks the 'we don't have time to care about everything all the time' has set us back a bit because it gets used as an excuse #bc most of the time no one is like asking you to become a hardcore advocate for every cause ever they're just saying like #hey reblog this donation post. and like I'm going to be real how much possible emotional energy is that really taking from you #compared to the actual activism the statement was meant for and such. like come on #surely less than complaining about people having the gull to ask you to give a shit right? #you can still have sympathy for multiple things without necessarily devoting a lot of your energy to said things you know? #doesn't mean you have to surround yourself with them to become the perfect most progressive activist or whatever #but you can like. idk. express sympathy or condolences in passing every now and then. like people normally do. idk #instead of being like 'how dare you ask me to care! there's issues in my own country i have to blog about!' are you for fucking real #but yeah enough time has passed that i can think more rationally about this and now know that that was a careless response #exactly the type of people you were afraid of being the representatives of the worlds apathy in your greif etc #but there are also people who do care is the thing #and obviously for the record I'm not mutuals w the former anymore bc like Christ

[iguessitsjustme]

I love Wandee Goodday a whole lot but I cannot handle this fucking scholarship competition. I beg your everlovin pardon? The employees and the patients at the hospital will vote on the winner???? The patients???? Dear god I hope it's an anonymous vote. Do the patients have the opportunity to opt out? What exactly are the voting on? What is the criteria? Why is part of the scholarship to best market the hospital? They're doctors. In what world does this showcase which doctor is most deserving of the scholarship for doctors?

Their fellow doctors also vote? Again I hope the vote is anonymous. I'd be scared of potential retaliation if I were a patient or a coworker. What is the point of the written test if 70% of the total score is based in something that neither of them are professionally trained to do?

What is the criteria?? What are the rules and requirements? What instructions have they been given to follow? They have four months to come up with a campaign? Do they have any other deadlines?

Why is this a part of the scholarship for DOCTORS???????

I love this show but I am bamboozled.

#wandee goodday #wandee goodday the series #wandee goodday series #listen listen i do not have any experience with how scholarship competition and administration works in thailand #but this is literally my job #literally what i do every day #i am knee deep in scholarships so please i cannot get past this #i rarely get to talk about my profession when it comes to shows and i rarely get to showcase my actual honest to god expertise #but what the fuck i have questions #i had similar issues with wela's scholarship administration in deep night #is this how scholarship competitions work in thailand? i'm genuinely and professionally curious #is this fiction just doing it for the plot or does part of this ring true? i don't know and would love to be told i'm wrong #cannot stop thinking about all of the ways this competition seems sketchy to me

[maxphilippa]

Following the ii dark fics thing.

On some- if not most of the dark fics, disorders also tends to be used as a main thing to explain why the character is doing what they're doing. Which is, of course, not really great. Most au's that do this are about the Bright Lights as well.

Listen.

I can totally GET it. Mental health is a very important thing and having it ruined by people, or by other factors, can and WILL do some real damage to you. Yes. I can totally see a character doing questionable things because of their mental health being so so bad that it leads them to think that maybe, just maybe, these thoughts and actions aren't as bad, or that given the situation they're in, they're somewhat justified/it isn't inherently terrible of them, because of the state they're in doesn't let them think clearly, and they hold onto something because it's the last thing that makes them feel real.

One thing is doing that.

The other thing is using mental illnesses or their symptoms (per example: BPD, DID, Schizophrenia, and others) as the main reason as to why a character has done a killing spree or commited terrible actions. Meanwhile yes, having said disorders and going through heavy amounts of stress, and having no support can really make things difficult, mental illness won't make you a criminal or an awful person, a disorder isn't something you can just use for "oh well they have this so they commited murder because of this", people that have those already go through enough with others not even accepting that their condition is real or that it doesn't make them a bad person, for other people to use those disorders as a "Hey So This Is Why This Character Is Bad Now" for a story.

just sayin'

#inanimate insanity #ii #inanimate insanity invitational #ii 2 #ii 3 #ii fandom neg #if a part of this is disrespectful PLEASE let me know #despite having depression i am not very great at using mental health terms as well #but this is a recurring issue i saw at osctwt and generally on dark fics #i recognize that i did that mistake one time. but i ended up changing everything about the au and erased that. #fics on mental health can be so so much better than how they are nowdays #and listen i'm NOT saying that the character CAN'T have any disorders or anything. #of course they can. #but DON'T make them the reason as to why they're an “horrible person”.

[figureofdismay]

i become more and more convinced that Scully reacts like a person with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria when Mulder shows signs of being interested in spending time with people who are Not Her. Starting with prime plagiaristic schlub Jerry Lamana, former partner, so it's not just a romantic jealousy. The Lone Gunmen are exempt from this somehow, probably because the guys always support Mulder but also don't monopolize his time. But anyone else, especially a female someone else, makes her spiral painfully.

Yes, there's an element of protectiveness. Everyone around Mulder seems to take advantage of him, he practically goes barrelling out asking to be misused and misled. But it's really, clearly not just that, because she goes into big distress and starts doubting her place in her life, regardless of the rationality of it, or what Mulder has shown or communicated to her about his feelings for her in the past.

It's endearing, but it's not, despite what collective fanon plays on to enhance angst scenarios, grounded in the reality of mulder's actual textual behavior and sentiments towards her, i.e. that he's ever given any indication that there's any way he'd accept someone else as his partner or give anyone else the majority of his attention. Rationally Scully know this, to the point that she was worried that he wouldn't survive if she died of the cancer. But RSD isn't rational, it's a maladaptive reaction, and one that makes a lot of sense with her being some flavor of 'quirky 90s character' ND who's always been socially just as much an outsider as Mulder has.

I don't think it's an intentional portrayal of that specific type of reaction, but i don't think Scully's jealousy/fear of being unseated is meant to show that her place with him is in actuality tenuous. And i personally believe that within the parameters of their indirect communication style and via all the massive gestures and risks they've taken for each other, the security of their bond actually is mutually well established. It's just those reaction flashpoints for her, where he pays attention to another woman in the course of an investigation/crisis incident and despite the fact that they've gone to the ends of the earth for each other, she starts thinking, 'well maybe he's done with me, maybe this is the time he's found someone more interesting he likes better, it's all over.' But even with Diana I don't think this is grounded in Mulder's actual behavior or level of interest in any ~interlopers. It's a reaction that she's having but it's disproportionate.

And I do love some yummy angst fic and love triangles and playing Diana up to the ultimate wedge issue! But I do also think it would be interesting to dig into Scully's jealousy/possessiveness/disproportionate hurt. I think Mulder sees it, at least somewhat, he's not ~afflicted with masculine feelings blindness or just being a self-absorbed ass (as some have accused lol), I think he's just bewildered, and doesn't seem to feel able or even allowed to approach these kind of personal emotional issues with Scully -- and she does also get very defensive about things in this vein so. It's hard to find the inroad to get them to talk about it.

But I do think it would be interesting to see, confronting the actual issues inherent in Mulder having/displaying professional or even casual personal interest in other people/women that he doesn't see as serious or impactful long term in his life, and Scully feeling as though she's in a love triangle, which is a very unsettling, even terrifying feeling even if it's not representative. It would be interesting to see Mulder see and confront that, have him saying, basically, nothing about us has changed and I don't plan for it to change, but i see you catastrophizing this and I don't get it. Why do you even think you'd need to compete?

Though i also don't see Scully being able to respond to that beyond deflection or getting emotional to the point of being unable to articulate anything. But it is something she needs to wrestle with, especially as she and Mulder head deeper and deeper into their relationship.

#character theory: scully #dana scully #she's one of my favorite character ever ever but i do think it's an unhealthy reaction #and disproportionate to the actual level of threat that any 3rd party - even an ex - could have to the most bonded soulmate partnership #and the thing is aside from the angst machine plot arcs they do /know/ that they are that bonded. yes scully too #idk i just feel weird about how like. yes I actually find it so funny and endearing that she gets so bent out of shape about Bambis etc #but she obviously also has rejection/abandonment issues at least with mulder specifically #who she has essentially made part of her personal identity without communicating any of her needs attendant w that or even being willing #to admit she has any or that that's what she's done #and the enormous preemptive fear and loss she feels get outsourced to Mulder on the premise that 'he's an insensitive jerk lol' #when it's a problem they're both having and if anything she's having it /at/ him without giving him an avenue to reassure or communicate ab #*about it #it's straight to pseudo ultimatum. which. puts them deeper and deeper in a hole they don't know the way out of #txf #msr