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markantonys · 9 months

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the single best thing the show could do for the polycule is a very simple change: make it happen on purpose. make all four members work together from the beginning to set up a poly relationship intentionally, rather than stumbling into one due to a mix of miscommunication and Fate Said So.

in the books, rand thinks he's having a series of unconnected romantic encounters with three different women and has no idea a polycule is developing until the women come to him to propose the final product. it is documented that the reason rj wrote it this way is because it's inspired by a similar situation he was once in, so i can't exactly blame him for writing based off personal experience, but it does cause several problems in the story.

Problems:

a) rand has little to no input on his own relationship(s) and spends the whole series being extremely passive in his love life. this makes him come across as at best a victim to the whims of his partners who is not allowed to express what HE wants out of the relationship, and at worst an asshole who doesn't really care about any of them as people and doesn't care what arrangements the three of them work out so long as he gets to fuck SOMEONE. it also means that the romances don't have as much of an emotional impact on him/his character development as they should (and as they do on the women) because he's just kinda floating along going "oh whatever you guys want, makes no difference to me."

b) elayne and aviendha get a bad fandom rap as being bad partners to rand because they confuse him on purpose and play games with him. like most of elayne's (in particular) bad fandom raps, this is an unfair exaggeration, but it's rooted in the fact that rj wanted rand to wind up in a polycule by accident rather than helping arrange a polycule on purpose, which means that rand has to hook up with 3 different women in a row without realizing that a polycule is brewing, without having discussed the idea of additional partner(s) with his prior partner(s) and gotten their permission to hook up with other people, AND without coming across as a cheater. which means that rand has to believe himself sufficiently broken up with the prior woman before he can hook up with the next one, which means that elayne has to send him conflicting letters so that he can get away with hooking up with aviendha and aviendha has to freeze him out so that he can get away with hooking up with min.

("they're just greedy/indecisive/cheaters" is probably the biggest harmful stereotype against poly people, and the above approach from the books flirts with that far too much, so the show definitely needs to change that. the majority of people have a very very difficult time understanding polyamory (just look at tumblr, where even the ~wokest~ WOT fans are saying the polycule should be split up into 2 monogamous pairings bc they think the poly aspect is "weird" and they insist that elayne Actually loves aviendha the most or rand Actually loves min the most and that they can't possibly REALLY mean it when they say they love multiple people equally), which is why it's especially important that the show portray it in a way where it's abundantly clear that it's not cheating or rand being greedy/indecisive/stringing a bunch of women along.)

c) the problem for the other 3's approach to the polycule is miscommunication. the problem for min's is Fate Said So. she is rammed into the polycule by prophecy rather than by spending enough time with the other parties to come to want it on her own, and so she coasts along on "you have to let me join your relationship because it's fated to happen no matter what" rather than needing to put in the same work elayne and aviendha do of bonding with each other, making an effort to learn about aiel polyamory practices (in elayne's case), and growing to genuinely want to share their partner with each other and to genuinely enjoy seeing the other happy with him.

the result is min feeling out of place in the relationship: elayne constantly thinks about how she loves rand and aviendha equally, then sometimes hastily adds min as an afterthought; aviendha is very firm that she can't share rand with elayne until they're first-sisters, but shrugs and makes an exception for min for no reason (but then proceeds to think how she wishes she didn't have to share her partner with a near-stranger); min barely cares about the other two and frequently thinks how she wishes she could just have rand to herself and it's unfair that she has to share him. it's a very glaring contrast how elayne and aviendha come to feel genuine joy and compersion at rand's love for the other, while the most positive thought min ever has is "if i HAVE to share (which i'd rather not), then elayne isn't the worst option for a co-partner."

on this last point, monogamous people forcing themselves to try out polyamory for their poly partner's sake (which is absolutely how book!min comes across) is something that happens and gets people hurt irl, and contributes to the societal misconception that polyamory never works out long term and that a choice will inevitably have to be made (again, see tumblr deciding that the endgame will have to be elayne & aviendha happily monogamous in caemlyn and reddit that it will have to be rand & min happily monogamous traveling the world). so if the show is going to portray polyamory, imo it has a responsibility to show that it is a viable long-term relationship type that people can be genuinely happy in. thus, all 4 parties need to choose this type of relationship because they want it, not because fate said they had to, and especially min since she's the one who is the most explicitly in the "only doing this bc fate" camp in the books (whereas rand, elayne, and aviendha all come across as genuinely polyamorous people who likely would have settled on this arrangement even without prophecy foreknowledge).

Solutions:

i made a post recently-ish with a hypothetical timeline for 8 seasons of the show, so if i make any unexplained assumptions in this section about what seasons various characters will be spending time together during, that's where they came from.

i feel pretty confident that rand/aviendha will be the first romance we see in the show, since he's still getting over his much-more-serious-than-the-book-version relationship with egwene and it would make sense to give him season 2 to finish that up and to hold off on new romance for him until season 3. i'm predicting he and aviendha will also meet elayne at falme in 2x08, but i also expect the characters will set off on their TSR roadtrips by the end of 3x01 at the latest, which gives rand and elayne no more than 1-2 episodes together - enough to establish Crush Vibes, but not enough to actually have anything happen between them. so, the show will go out of order and start with rand/aviendha.

which is a perfect way of changing the polycule from accidental to intentional! having rand's first romance be with the partner who is from a poly-aware culture means that the entire set of relationships is now being built off a poly-aware base. from the get-go, aviendha can explain the concept of polyamory to rand and make it clear to him that she is comfortable with that sort of relationship, which means that they can get together and stay together rather than needing to backslide so that rand has an excuse to go off and fuck other people. he doesn't need excuses if he instead has permission! also, rand/elayne not having happened yet would mean aviendha has no reason to feel guilty and pull away from rand after sleeping with him.

so, rand and aviendha are solidly together and poly-curious by the time they reunite with elayne in s4. aviendha can see that rand and elayne like each other, so she encourages them to get together, and rand/elayne can indeed get together without rand/aviendha needing to be tanked first since rand and aviendha are both on the same pro-poly page. elayne knows a little about polyamory from meeting bain and chiad at falme (and maybe from meeting alanna or other greens at the tower), and she has feelings for rand but also likes aviendha and doesn't want to interfere with their relationship, so she is happy to agree to the arrangement. but she still has plenty to learn about aiel ways and about aviendha, and aviendha wants to become first-sisters as is proper, so even without aviendha having toh to elayne for banging rand, the two of them still have a reason to want to bond and grow closer (and for the show, this arc will result in them falling in love instead of or in addition to becoming first-sisters).

so we've fixed the narrative relying on miscommunication to get rand, elayne, and aviendha into the polycule. now to fix the reliance on Fate Said So for min. we can safely say that she's already had her 3-women viewing judging by that line in s1, so she already knows the polycule is fated. this in itself is fine - wrestling with knowing you're fated to love someone is an interesting character arc if done well and done sparingly [sideeyes rj on both counts]. what needs to be changed is how min USES this foreknowledge.

don't have her share it with elayne, aviendha, or rand until after the four of them have gotten together naturally. have her discuss the viewing with her aunts in s2 (or, hell, even with mat, could be a good way to contribute to the friendship they're supposed to have at the end of the series) instead of with elayne, and have her say she knows who 2/3 of the other people are but would never want to tell them about this viewing because it sucks to know you're fated to love someone before it's happened and she'd hate to burden anyone else with that knowledge. have her keep the viewing to herself because she wants rand and elayne (and aviendha, tho min doesn't yet know who she is) to have the freedom to fall in love by choice, even though she herself can't have that freedom. (shit, now that i write it out i actually LOVE the idea of mat being the one she's having this convo with since he too will soon be struggling with a Fated Romance.)

in the books, by telling elayne soon after meeting her that she'll have to share her boyfriend with 2 others and then in salidar going "one of them is me btw so you'd better give me permission to fuck your boyfriend when i see him soon," it feels like min is using her viewing to bully elayne (and later aviendha) into letting her join the relationship. min telling rand in eotw that he shouldn't bother with egwene because they won't end up together also contributes to this vibe, and the show has thankfully already cut out that moment, so i have high hopes that they're attempting to make min more..........empathetic, i guess, in terms of how she uses her viewings. book!min is understandably afraid of being left out in the cold since she doesn't know which if any of them rand will love back, so she uses her viewings to prime the other parties to be willing to Let Her In when the time comes, basically, but it's still kind of a shitty thing to do. however, so far, due to being older and much more mature and much more reluctant to share viewings, show!min gives me the vibes that she would rather quietly resign herself to unrequited love than have to burden other people with the knowledge that their love is Foretold (particularly once she comes to view elayne as a friend in s2).

so, if min doesn't share the viewing with elayne and aviendha in advance, then she will have to join the relationship naturally, by spending time with and getting to know all 3 parties, rather than by telling them they have to let her in because Fate Said So. i see space for all 4 of them to be in the same place together during season 4, while avirandlayne is brewing but min is still just a friend, so that would be a great time for min to bond with them all prior to getting with rand (and maybe as a result, rand develops a crush on her and confesses it to elayne and aviendha, who are happy to give him permission because they already know and like min; alternately, rand has an obvious crush on min but is totally oblivious about it, so elayne and aviendha tease him like "if there is...............anyone else you're interested in.............maybe a certain bartender............you can totally go for it" and rand is adorably baffled as to why they believe he has a crush on min, and then in season 5 he finally Realizes).

and like, wouldn't it be so cute if after the four of them are in a committed polycule, min finally says "hey, i actually had a viewing ages ago that this would happen, but i didn't want to tell you guys and make you feel pressured to love each other" and they all have a good laugh about it together? that would be SO cute!

so, overall, the seeds of a wonderful polycule are there in the books, and the show doesn't have to make a TON of tweaks to help it live up to its best potential! i'm really excited to see what they do with it because it's such a unique romance storyline and one of my favorite aspects of the series, it just needs the Updating For 2020s touch (and the Updating To Reflect The Way Real Human Adults Behave And Communicate With Each Other touch) that the show has so far excelled at applying.

#if you're going to come on here and say 'or they could just split it into rand/min and elayne/avi that'd be even better': DO NOT #rand is poly. this is canon. he loves in a way that his & our society deems atypical and that is canon.#so removing that aspect of his character to stick him in a ~more palatable~ monogamous relationship feels akin to queer erasure to me #i want to see elayne and avi date as much as anyone but NOT at the expense of erasing rand's poly nature (or theirs)#and like..........we can easily just have both at the same time! they go great together!#sorry that you personally don't want a man involved in your f/f ship but you've got other canon man-free f/f ships out there to enjoy #*i* do not have other canon bi poly relationships out there to enjoy so let me fucking have this okay?#wot #wot book spoilers

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batmanshole · 4 months

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ylfvaaa do you have any makeup and skincare recs 😭 im trying to get into skincare but i have no idea where to start, i see a lot of people hyping up korean skincare but idk what products live up to the hype. and i need new makeup badly but im scared of ordering a primer and then it sucks yknow. you seem really knowledgeable so if you can help me out it’d be much appreciated <3

hi anon. before i get into this i love you. i love when people ask me about this kinda stuff. makes me so happy. cosmetic chemistry autism.

ALSO to get your primer thing out of the way: i dont rlly use it but ive heard good things about the ELF one and my sister swears by the NYX one and her base is rlly good. so.

also i'd look on the following websites / stores:

sephora for western brands / mainstream kbeauty yesstyle for korean and japanese stuff chic decent or individual websites for chinese beauty (i usually get mine in person tho)

under the cut cause its long af. also i linked to some products but none of this is sponsored or affiliate or anything im just linking cause i like em 👍

OK FIRST OF ALLL. starting w skincare.

i would break down your routine into three main parts: -cleansing -moisturizing / hydrating -SPF

if you wanna get fancy, you can do exfoliation between cleansing and hydrating. but you really dont have to do that if u dont want to

first: cleansing

if you wanna wear makeup you should have a good way to take it off. no. no put the makeup wipes down. they aren't efficient and u will go through SO many of them. and they're a pain and can irritate ur skin w all the wiping (trust me on this one LOL)

i would recommend using an oil based product for this!! melts ur makeup OFFFF like crazy + even if you don't use makeup it will leave ur skin super clean ^__^ ALSO you should apply this to DRY SKIN and wash it off with lukewarm water (the oil emulsifies w water and also very cold water can make it harder to remove)

if you want an oil-based makeup remover for quick removal w a cotton pad: clinique take the day off (47cad ) this one is expensive tbh and isn't as effective as the others BUT. it takes a lot less energy to use + can be done quickly. if you want a cleanser that will take off your makeup incredibly well while washing ur face: kose softymo speedy cleanser (18cad) this is my absolute FAV. i use it allll the time it works so so well and ive reccomended it to tons of ppl before and theyve all liked it. if you want a cleansing balm for heavier makeup: clean-it zero cleansing balm original (30cad) i haven't tried this one myself, but i've heard VERY good things about it.

next i would follow that up with a water based cleanser (so foaming or gel). this will help to wash away all the stuff that the oil cleanser has loosened up and will wash away leftover oil cleanser.

my FAVOURITE is the senka perfect whip cleanser (14.50cad) i adore this stuff!! ive heard some people find it very drying but i havent had that issue? idk i've also heard good things about this beauty of joseon green plum gel cleanser (14.70 cad) but i haven't used it myself. huge fan of BOJ tho!!

(this is the part where you would exfoliate if you wanted to. for a chemical exfoliant i use the giant bottle of clinique stuff my aunt got me but its not worth the price tbh. u could also try the beauty of joseon apricot peeling gel (14.70cad) IF your skin can handle it. its a physical exfoliant tho so be careful. i also enjoy the pixi glow tonic. u can get this at like shoppers or cvs or somethign idk)

second: hydrating and moisturizing

okay so. this is super important if you do a lot of makeup and thus have to wash it away thoroughly.

i start with a hydrating toner. this helps to add water to your skin and smooth it (adding water before moisturizer is a good idea bc the moisturizers will both add moisture and lock in hydration from any prev products)

i use the the I'm from rice toner (38 cad but on sale rn) which is my absolute absolute FAAAV toner. super hydrating super perfect and beautiful. stunning. (you've probably seen people talk about the cosrx snail mucin, and it is nice i will admit. but do NOT use it if you are allergic to shellfish or dust, apparently. also apply it right after your hydrating toner, it needs to be on wet skin)

then i go in with a moisturizer!! i like to use ones with niacinimide or other humectants.

my go-to is the innisfree jeuju cherry blossom dewey glow jelly (35cad) she's so important to meee <3 love her. all time fav. it is SCENTED tho, so if you don't like that, try: beauty of joseon red bean water gel (17.80cad) super lightweight and has no noticeable scent. ive heard very good things and my friend is trying it soon ^__^

finally: SPF

this is THE most important step. sunscreen. wear sunscreen.

apply your sunscreen under your makeup in the morning, and throughout the day. if you wanna reapply using a sun stick, that's great!!! but don't use a sun stick as your ONLY protection.

also i'd avoid pure mineral sunscreens unless you have a legit allergy to chemical ones. mineral sunscreens are not as good and a lot of the marketing is iffy. also they leave a white cast which is esp noticeable on darker skin. mineral + chemical ones are usually fine tho :-)

my fav sunscreen is the biore UV aqua rich watery gel / watery essence (26cad) legit the best feeling sunscreen i have EVER used. my friends who hate sunscreen like this one. there's also the beauty of joseon rice probiotic releif sun cream (24cad) which is very nice too!! not my fav but a lot of people swear by it for reapplying throughout the day, i would use the beauty of joseon matte sun stick (24cad). ive heard super good things but ihavent tried it cause im finishing my other sun stick rn lol

this is all fairly basic stuff since u said you were new to it, but i can also go thru some less necessary, more fancy products if you ever need.

as for makeup, my favourite brands are:

-flower knows -rom&nd (romand) -daisique -etude -lilybyred

and i've heard really good things about / want to try:

-colorgram -judydoll -flortte -amuse -clio -peripera -into you

ok sorry this is so long but um. lmk if you have any further questions but my arms hurt so im gonna stop typing now. MWAH love you

#skincare #ask #anon

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kiteslover · 2 years

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HxH Headcanons I Believe Very Strongly

Here’s another batch of my feral takes i hope you enjoy

* Killua has spent HOURS trying to figure out every single girly thing in the world just so he can take good care of Alluka. He’ll paint his nails with her and let her do makeup on his face just to make her happy (because killua is the best brother in the entire universe and nothing will ever come close to hi

* Killua also never sits properly in chairs. He’s always doin some weird ass contortionist stuff while he’s sitting and if anyone asks if that’s comfortable he’ll be like “what? Why would you even ask that”

* Illumi, despite being the emotionless stick that he is, has a really extensive hair cair routine. He was probably chilling with Hisoka and some point and noticed some bougie hair products on his bathroom counter. Needless to say Hisoka witnessed his fascination got him hooked shortly.

* Anytime Gon and Ging see Leorio after Gon’s decision to follow Ging, Leorio is the most passive aggressive mfer you’ve ever seen to Ging but he’s like over the top nice to Gon. He makes sure Ging recognizes this.

* “Gon!! I got you this PRESENT for your BIRTHDAY. I tried REALLY hard to make sure you’d actually LIKE it because I know EVERYTHING that you like!” *queue side eye to Ging to which Ging is staring off into space with his regular scowl*

* Ging definitely got Gon a pair of socks for his birthday that he couldn’t even wear bc they were too small for him. Gon was equally happy with both Leorio and Ging’s present. Nothing either of them do will make Gon love them more or less

* Kurapika has really, Really nice handwriting. I would like to think he enjoys writing letters from time to time (definitely not just for a chance to show off his handwriting)

* On the other hand, Leorio writes literal chicken scratch. He’s working to be a doctor okay he can’t afford to have nice handwriting as long as he understands it it’s fine

* Morel has a really bad tan line under those sunglasses.

* Speaking of which, knov gets the most GOD awful sunburns in the history of sunburns ever. I mean have you seen this man he pasty as heel

* Hisoka goes to the nail salon regularly and always gets compliments on how long and sharp his nails are.

* Alluka seems like a littlest pet shop girl idk i just wont be taking criticism on this

* She definitely begs Killua to use his hunter license to find the rare ones, he complies per usual

* Knuckle takes very good care of his appearance/hygiene (if you couldn’t already tell from his stupid pompadour) and definitely wears cologne. thankfully, it’s not too strong cause He’s not one of those axe body spray people

* You know who IS an axe body spray person? Ging

* Ging probably doesn’t even bother with axe body spray either

* That man smells rank i stg

—

Okay thats it for these I’m sorry for my incessant Ging slander in all my Headcanons but i just cant help myself🤭🤭🤭

let me know if you want any other characters!

Other headcanons from me:

https://kiteslover.tumblr.com/post/690241672501706753/hxh-headcanons-i-believe-very-strongly-sfw

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shopcat · 1 month

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i'd like the rest of your opinion on jet if that's ok i like hearing peoples thoughts on him :)

SORRY i didn't see this okayyy hrm i can do that but i'll stick it under a cut. My rambles.

w the disclaimer that this really is just my opinion which means what my mind has scrambled up with without any prodding at it or outside interference (and i don't really read about or interact w content w jet and never really DID just as a btw) but basically: the way this show frames characters is very deliberate and going beyond the initial projection of who you're "meant" to see them as can be difficult sometimes (not just for this show, i mean in general wrt media analysis), esp when there's nothing else to like... cushion that.

for example iroh is obviously a fan favourite and i love him as a person who loves zuko (in both interps of that sentence), and their dynamic is really important (particularly + the standpoint of iroh being his brother's brother and what that means) but he was also you know, a revered general who lead a years long siege in support of the colonial regime...? this is kind of a mirror of what i'm getting at in that the show doesn't WANT you to or even feels the need to particularly dwell on that, even if his active hand in the war and then the subsequent movement to dismantle it firsthand is significant, because if people dwelt on it they... REALLY wouldn't like him as much on a much larger scale and he wouldn't be the same character anyways. i actually think it's a disservice to say the show doesn't at alllll address this bc i think it's obviously a huge part of who his character is next to zuko even though obviously the children's show is not going to be able to handle colonialism or genocide in a way that doesn't in some way feel flattened obv. anyway.

this is essentially why it took me such a while to warm up to jet even though he is a pretty cookie cutter "look beyond what you see" guy bc i couldn't really DO IT other than holding obviously a lot of sympathy for him and knowing he is deliberately presented as a certain kind of quote unquote extreme product of the fire nation's tyranny, much like hama is as another popular example, even if in real life it would actually be a pretty normal reaction and that hating your oppressors obviously doesn't make you evil. my autistic ass (SORRY) simply has to imagine a world where he can eventually go "i shouldn't have tried to kill an entire village of innocent people My bad" and it's easier to think about it wrt he is also you know, like 16? and obviously a victim. i've mentioned before i struggle with moral scrupulosity and what i consider to be "right" which does affect the things i like in context as well, and jet falls pretty squarely on morally pretty dark, esp in comparison to the other antagonists on the show, but that doesn't make him a villain obv. other than that the show itself presents him as an antagonist meant to cause conflict, and you're meant to sit with what it means to see people driven to such extremes bc they feel they have no choice, but you're not necessarily meant to like him i don't think, especially when you initially meet him. he really comes off as like a Cool Guy who's all charm who uses it to get his way which can feel kind of slimey i s'pose.

thinking about jet in regards to ZUKO is what helped me wrap my brain around him as a whole and soften to his like, harshness i guess bc i think they're good foils for each other. i think without making him necessarily fangless to do it that they're a really interesting duo and i honestly love that he came back to deliberately become an antagonistic figure to zuko as well (even that both "sides" just happened to meet him 😭 like what are actually the chances lol) and that prior to it they were working side by side even for a short time. i honestly wish the show was longer than it was bc i wish he hadn't figured out iroh was a firebender as quickly as he did, or at least hadn't assumed zuko was also one, bc i think it would've been really really interesting to see the behind the scenes conflict of them being friends and working together and jet forming some sort of relationship with zuko and iroh, and THEN finding out they're who he considers inherently immoral and an enemy even though he knows he and zuko are very similar/agree/he trusts them, and what that would mean for him. the initial "he'd just freak out and accuse them of betraying their trust and the same fight happens anyway" would be a natural conclusion but i can also see it NOT happening, bc while jet is an incredibly complex interesting character i think him coming to terms with certain things and shifting his mindset would have been fulfilling for ME at least.

i know that a character doesn't have to "redeem" themselves to be worthy and that moral pureness is not exclusive to being a Good Character and i like plenty of morally grey characters trust me etc etc but i just tend to want to... enjoy engaging characters who reflect my own values enough that it's justifiable WITHIN THE CONTEXT of the rest of whatever's going on in/the relationships of the other characters which is essentially why... he's fine and i like him but he's not my favourite. and what i mean by that is like as in, i love team avatar and i don't think they themselves would be friends with jet entirely as is, but if he was in another setting or situation or show or what the hell ever i honestly wouldn't care as much. i also think it's sort of strange to be like "ha ha you don't like the character who killed/wanted to kill kids" as if that's not like totally normal to be uncomfortable with 😭 anyway. other than all that i really like how he's a retro cool anime character transplanted into the show and i like his dumb mouth grass thing and i think he could've been a cool ally and wish they'd have leant more into his connection and closeness to the freedom fighters esp in ba sing se. i also think the angle that he's somehow kissed everyone in team avatar barring the littles is really fucking funny and they would gossip about him if it wasn't so like, tragic... also i don't think he died i think he can run real fast.

OH edit: one last thing i'll tack on to like the beginning of my own thought process re: the cushioning characters are afforded we see i think actually nothing of jets backstory other than what he says and nothing ELSE of his goal in life other than like, staying alive + keeping his fighters safe + what they stood for and fighting the fire nation. and while that's all like definitely plenty to establish his character it's why i couldn't come around to him as quickly bc i didn't really see the point when regardless of everything i've said i pretty much don't think he WOULD want to "redeem" himself or change as a character in any way and he's kind of just some guy to me so i didn't really want to put the effort in myself. i don't fault anyone who does ofc.

#asks #I SAID A WHOLE LOT AND A WHOLE LITTLE ‼️‼️#basically yeah i also struggled to like i did empathise sympathise whatever the word is w him as a character and figure and what he #represented narratively we see the way the fn affected people throughout the show it's like the whole. point of it all really #but then i would see fans of his being just rude little cuuuunts or asserting that azula didn't deserve anything and being crazy fandom #misogynist abojt her bc i guess they're like the top two Should we redeem these characters ?#and it just made me mad and will still make me mad #i've said before i give all the love ppl give jet to azula and that's still true #but now thst actually makes me think i think THEM meeting post agni kai in a world where he didn't die would be interesting ..#two guys that exist just to give zuko grey hair at 17 #also to be honest like thinking about him this much is a little head scratching to my Strange mind bc he's like a side character to me 😭#so like of course his arc is incomplete and everything he was never meant to really have one he's just aiding in other peoples #but i guess u could argue any number of them are minor/side characters or w/e and i guess that's a lame way to look at things bc he's still #a plenty established character #ANYWAY FUCK. he's fine.#War ended with jet he's cool

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xhdream · 1 month

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ahh ty for responding!! ur like the sweetest ever ughh 😭😭 i actually have a blog rn called lunicho but honestly im not the most proud of the writing on there so im trying to work on my writing before starting up this blog! i'm moving my riize and boynextdoor writing to this blog and leaving the other blog for other groups that i wanna talk about! i'm kinda in a middle stage rn with my writing but i'm kinda getting it figured out!! do you have like a creative process that you go through? like do you plan your fics or anything because i want to become more efficient with my writing, i take a very long time to post and write and i feel so bad :((

giving u all of my love 🥹🥹 also we're both jooyeon girlies so i'll stop by with some pics or thoughts about him soon!!!

of course omg i would love to talk to you more so pls know you’re welcomed here anytime!! 🥹

ahh, good luck with your new blog! i’ll be looking out for your work i’m sure it’s gonna be great ~

tbh i don’t have anything specific that i stick to when it comes to writing… which when i think about it now is kinda strange bc when it comes to other things i always have to have some kind of plan/a list or anything that can guide me so i can be more efficient and productive, but when it comes to writing i just make sure to ALWAYS write down any ideas that come to mind in one document, and when i’m in the mood to write i go through them and pick whatever sparks my creativity in that moment and go from there (yall have no idea how many random conversations i have in my notes that just sit there 🫣)

i’m a mood writer 100% and that’s why i avoid sticking to plans or schedules or i will just get burnt out very quickly if i have to work on something that doesn’t excite me as much as other ideas that day, or if i don’t feel like writing at all, cause i have those days too ofc

i know it’s easier said than done, but don’t ever feel bad or guilty for taking your time with your works!! we’re here to create and have fun, so your own enjoyment and health comes first. try out different creative approaches, see how you’d feel and do what works best for you! i’ve realised that i write easier when i don’t stick to one particular thing/process, but i’m sure there are many ppl who are totally the opposite. don’t be hard on yourself okay, your readers will understand and will still enjoy what you put out <3

i’m rambling now, but i’m gonna share one more thing in case it helps someone? for me the beginning of the story is always challenging and i’ve realised that starting with a dialogue helps me get into it. most times i end up deleting it lol but just writing any kind of dialogue helps me start from somewhere, that’s something i always do if i get stuck on a specific part of the story too… music is also a must when i write! it keeps me inspired, sometimes it gives me ideas too, and i write easier and quicker when i listen to songs that have a similar vibe to what i’m working on

oh this got long sorry 🫣 but that’s all i do tbh nothing special! what about you? ~

omg a fellow jooyeon girly?? WE LOVE 🫶🏼 i rarely receive thoughts about him he deserves our love and attention!! i’m sending u lots of hugs 🥹

#💌: xhdream inbox #— angeltsan

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scaryarcade · 1 year

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i'm curious at what point you think smth ceases to be cognitive dissonance and becomes a system? i have severe trauma which resulted in a sort of split within me between my 'true' self and a 'defensive' self which is cold/unemotional/obsessive/productive. i have done some IFS work and found it very helpful and as a teenager i did identify this second self as a separate person who i converse with (and still do). i often have to recognize that i'm in that second self/state and forcibly drag myself out of it in order to be present emotionally or address certain things. at the same time, i don't experience time loss and i don't often converse with the self, it feels a lot more like a defense mechanism. i'm unsure if continuing my childhood habit of identifying and speaking to it as a separate person is more harmful or helpful, like if it is further disassociating me. i have had conversations with it and he has alluded to a third self which is deeply deeply violent towards me that he is trying to protect me from, but again i'm not sure how much of this is just IFS separation of parts as opposed to a true system. i'm mostly interested in where you think the line is between fractured selves with trauma as opposed to a system

so like, imo, the line between system and not-a-system is wherever you decide to draw it, and that's probably the most important takeaway here but also might not be the kind of answer you're looking for, lol. So the answers i will give include like. medical language, and my understanding of how clinicians differentiate this kind of stuff, which is a) something i spend a lot of time reading about but am not an expert on, b) not at all meant to define what i think a 'real system' is or isn't and c) something you can totally discard if it's not helpful to you personally.

fwiw, i'm pretty sure 'fractured selves with trauma' is exactly what plenty of MH professionals would describe as a system

i can't diagnose you with anything nor would i want to but your description of the 'defensive' self protecting you from another self (that you are not in contact with, but that the defensive self is) sounds To Me like there are dissociative barriers involved here that are stronger/more complicated than what's typically seen between parts in an IFS framework.

re: worrying about worsening dissociation, i don't think categorizing this other self as a separate person would cause further dissociation on its own. i think if you are welcoming, curious, accepting of and work to communicate with the other self you're describing you might even find dissociative symptoms Improving. on the flip side: if you identify this self as a separate person and then use that to reject and disavow it, that probably Will worsen dissociation!

^ i've talked about this in more detail in a post here

i do think there are probably some safeguards you could put in place if you're worried about worsening dissociation as you explore this. i'll put my thoughts on that under the cut bc this is getting long

it sounds like you are looking for an objective standard you can use to categorize what you're experiencing, and i don't think i can provide one for you, but i can tell you some stuff about how i draw the line for myself, personally. i'll put that under the cut as well:

so like. this gets kind of complicated to explain because i exist as a member of a larger system with very differentiated alters. however for ME as an alter specifically: my subsystem functions kind of similarly to what you describe. we don't experience time loss, we present as different versions of the same person that each exhibit different defense mechanisms in response to being triggered.

the reason we decided to call ourselves separate facets and differentiate from each other--even though we basically identify as the same person--is when i'm in one self-state, i feel like the emotions and behaviors of the other self-states don't belong to me. me (🐛) and another facet (🎶) share the same name and identity on the surface, but he tunes out stressors with fun distractions and blind optimism, and i don't. i wouldn't do that. when i remember times he was fronting i think 'that's not something i would do'. his behavior is outside my understanding of myself. so we call ourselves separate from each other.

basically for us it's a matter of "wow, i was feeling really triggered/stressed/unusual when i did that" vs. "i don't understand why i did that, i don't feel like i would do that, i can't imagine why i was thinking/feeling that way when that happened". it's not always clear-cut but you might find these things helpful to consider, idk.

FINALLY if you want to explore seeing this other self as a separate person/a member of a system but are worried about worsening dissociation--these are TOTALLY optional and it's completely up to you what you decide to do, but here are some (open-ended) questions you might want to ask yourself:

how do i feel about the aspects of my inner experience that i'm exploring? scared? guilty? hopeful? curious? many or none of those things?

am i usually able to identify when i'm dissociating? do i have coping methods i can use to ground myself?

do i feel safe? if i start feeling unsafe, are there ways i can return to feeling safe in my mind and body?

i hope literally any of this was helpful and/or made sense! i wish u the best as u explore this stuff and at the end of the day it's Completely up to you how you want to identify your experiences.

#abyssposting #asks #plurality #< new tag need to go back and start tagging other stuff wiht this #🐛

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pillarsalt · 1 year

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hi hello ms pillarsalt would you mind sharing what kind of iud you have? i have adenomyosis and my cycle pain has been getting progressively worse but i am terrified of hormonal birth control bc all the pill type ones i was on as a teen gave me horrible stomach trouble like to the point we thought i had Crohn's disease. but im also scared of the copper one bc my body has rejected metal b4. basically if u have a hormonal iud can you comfort me that it wont make me constantly sick bc i would like to stop passing out from pain at work and nobody seems to want to discuss this type of treatment yk

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, it sounds terrible. As I'm sure you already know, I'm not a doctor and I can't tell you if getting a hormonal IUD will help alleviate your adenomyosis. I can tell you my experience with it, though. I have a Mirena IUD which is hormonal. Here is a screenshot from their website about the effectivity:

So right away I can tell you that before I had it installed nearly five years ago, my periods were heavy as hell. The cramps sucked of course, but the main issue was how much I would bleed and bleed. I would go through probably seven or eight superplus (heaviest) tampons a day and even have to wear a pad at the same time so I could get through a class without bleeding through my pants. I got it installed (usually they schedule it for when you're on your period so your cervix is softer), had a period for about a month afterward, and then my periods became so light that I didn't even have to buy menstrual products anymore. Basically there was a small amount of discoloured discharge that would signal that I was menstruating, with some very light cramps akin to when you ovulate. Now my periods are getting heavier again because I need to get it replaced soon, but apparently the pregnancy prevention aspect is still good for a couple years so it's not as much of an emergency as I thought (gotta find a doctor soon lmao).

I haven't had really any side effects that I could tell you about. I've had issues with mental illness since I was about 13 but they didn't get any worse with the installation of my IUD. Actually I'm doing better than I ever have in my adult life in that aspect. I haven't had any digestive issues like the stomach pain you mentioned, no weight gain or weight loss. My skin is clear almost all the time and I generally feel physically well.

Now, will it help with your adenomyosis? I think it's really worth talking to your doctor about. The hormonal medication in the device, Levonorgestrel, thins the endometrium, which is why I bled far less during my period while on it. The endometrium that builds up in the muscular tissue of your uterus and causes you pain may be lessened in the same way. This part of the website that states why some people can't use it concerns me:

Because 1. I don't know if or how much your adenomyosis changes the shape of your uterus and 2. if your stomach trouble was an allergy to the medication itself then you'll likely have the same problem here. Basically, you've got to find a doctor who will listen to you and talk this and other options out with you, because it's inhumane to let you keep suffering this way.

Good luck to you, I really hope you can find a solution. I know getting this sort of stuff figured out is daunting and feels impossible sometimes but don't give up. Do your best to find a women's health clinic or at least a female doctor. It's going to be okay!

#ask #mine #radfem safe

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love-to-lgbtq · 1 year

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Ah.. sorry if this is a bit much but.…. do you know of any good wlw sex ed masterposts (possibly one that covers general stuff too since in my experience the sex education system is just generally bad let alone for Igbtq+ stuff)?

I'm a (older) minor so I totally understand if you don't want to answer this but I'd really appreciate it bc I can't do my own research ;-;

Hi anon,

Sex education is something that shouldn’t be withheld from people. I actually work with a lot of places trying to make queer sex ed more accessible. Since I’m assuming you’re trying to avoid links/webpages I’ve decided to compile my own master post for you.

Strap in (no pun intended)

Let’s start with the basics, anatomy and care:

Vulva: the outside of the vagina (the part that’s visible)

Vagina: the internal structure in the female reproductive system

STI: sexually transmitted infections, caused by direct exposure to an infection, can be transmitted orally, through intercourse, or contact with bodily fluids.

Yeast infection: the pH of a vagina is very specific, as is the bacterial microbiome , and if it’s thrown off too much it overproduces yeast, which causes an uncomfortable infection. It’s treatable though!

protection:

For oral sex on a vulva or anus there are dental dams. They come in various flavors and are like a sheet of latex that you hold in place while performing oral. If both you and your partner have been tested and don’t have to worry about any STI exchange, these aren’t necessary.

- just because you can’t get pregnant having wlw sex doesn’t mean you can’t get Sexually Transmitted Infections

There’s also toys that can be used for wlw sex, such as strap ons, dildos, and vibrators. These typically need to be purchased online or at a store that specializes in sex supplies, but some of the basics can be bought at target, cvs, and other similar places. As a minor you can’t buy these things yet, but for future reference now you know.

Lubricant:

For oral, lube isn’t really necessary, but know that there are flavored lubricants labeled for oral use. DO NOT USE THESE. These are meant for penises. If you use flavored lube on a vulva/vagina it can cause yeast infections.

Best practice is to use water based lube (it’ll say the base on the bottle/package), which is safe to use for all purposes.

There are also silicone based and oil based lubes, but I recommend steering clear of those since they’re not compatible with toys and other silicone products.

Where to get it? - any CVS, Walmart, target, etc. will have lube of various types in the aisle they sell condoms in, which is usually near the pharmacy.

Some major things to steer clear of:

- douching of any sort: this can lead to yeast infections. The vagina is naturally cleaning, so don’t think you need to put any sort of cleanser up there. Summers Eve is a scam.

- rushing things: what you see in the media is a dramatization. It’s important to take your time and talk about things with whoever your partner is before rushing into anything.

Your local planned parenthood will also have lots of resources to help you, and if you have any local LGBTQ+ organizations you can get to, they often have lots of resources for this stuff too. I don’t know if you’re closeted, but if you are and this is hard to get to for you, then I recommend going to the library and using one of their computers to do any additional research.

And always remember to practice consent!!! Remember FRIES for consent:

Freely Given

Reversible

Informed

Enthusiastic

Specific

If you have any more specific questions I’m also here as a resource for you through DM and asks, and I don’t find it bothersome at all, that’s why I’m here! This is one of my areas of expertise so I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.

Let me know if you need any more info!

-Day

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pinkcatminht · 1 year

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18. your boba/tea order? annnd 12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

tbh i don't ever get boba? so i dont know? i'd like to try it at some point. i love chai, though. i'm not a huge tea drinker, but if i'm going to drink tea, it'll either be chai, some form of green tea(rn i've got a green tea with pomegranate mix in my drink area that i'm excited to try), or Aveda's herbal tea mix. Aveda's tea is expensive as dicks but if you like the taste of fennel(similar to licorice), it's really good.

oh man, i love this second question lmao. i'm very biased bc i'm a licensed cosmetologist, but there are also even high-end brands i don't really fuck with. buckle up bc this answer is gonna be long lol. for each category:

Haircare: for haircare, i really like Bumble and Bumble, Drybar, Babyliss(they make some of the best tools on the market), Redken, Joico, Olaplex, and Wella. i know they are ridiculously expensive and it sucks and i wish they were more accessible. the good news about their price point, though, is bc they don't contain filler ingredients like other brands, you can use less and it lasts longer. i used to also love Chi, Paul Mitchell, and Biolage, but they've significantly decreased in quality in the last few years. they do still have some good products at cheaper price points, but some of the stuff isn't as good as it used to be.

Body care: my three biggest body care loves out there are Dove, Cetaphil, and Necessaire. Dove and CeraVe are more inexpensive without sacrificing quality; Dove's soaps are made in a different way from conventional soaps, so they're gentler on your skin, while still very cleansing. i tend to use either their bar soaps or their body washes. and i love CeraVe's body washes, their body wash and body lotion with salycylic acid are great for ketosis pilaris(aka chicken skin or strawberry skin) or body acne in general. Necessaire is more high-end and therefore more expensive, but their body exfoliator is the only one i'll ever use again, i swear. i use it in the shower after washing my body, and i use those exfoliating gloves you can get basically anywhere. it's got both chemical and physical exfoliation, and it lathers REALLY well, so you dont need a lot(i literally just do two single stripes down each arm, and that's enough for my whole body. and i'm fat, so thinner people likely don't even need that much!). it makes you super baby smooth, so if you're into that and you have the money for it, i highly recommend it.

skincare: i will forever and always love CeraVe and Cetaphil for skincare. CeraVe's sunscreen is kind of trash(i wish they would reformulate them SO badly), but outside of that, their products are great. they're full of ingredients that help restore your skin's acid mantle, which basically affects the health of your skin. Cetaphil is very similar in formula to CeraVe, but their products are designed for people with extremely sensitive skin, so they have no additives that could potentially disrupt your skin's acid mantle. both brands are recommended by many people i know who work in skincare, both dermatologists and estheticians.

outside of those two, i also really like The Ordinary's products for their price point, but i do think it's a bit irresponsible of them to just sell such strong chemical exfoliants to the public without putting lots of warnings on their products. facial skin is very sensitive compared to the skin on your body, and with products like chemical exfoliants, you need to start in small doses, and always wear sunscreen, as they can make your skin more photosenstive, which can cause more problems than whatever you were trying to get rid of with the exfoliant.

(please please PLEASE always wear sunscreen, if you don't take any of my other advice PLEASE take this one! skin cancer is no joke, and it can affect anyone!!!! even if you're not using actives in your skincare routine, unless you sit indoors 100% of the time with NO windows around you should wear a suncreen for the health of your skin!)

and finally, i also love Paula's Choice, Black Girl Sunscreen, and Supergoop!. BGS and Supergoop! are both great sunscreen options with no white cast, which is great for people with more melanin, or those who are being flash photographed often. Paula's Choice is a bit on the pricey side but they are very thorough with their ingredient choices, and their research into the ingredients that they use is incredibly thorough. plus, PC also runs the Beautypedia ingredient index, which is an incredibly useful tool. basically, you can take any product you like, plug the ingredients into their database, and it will tell you what the ingredients do, what they're used for in the product, and if they're beneficial or detrimental to the skin.

sorry this was so long lmao! there are other brands that i like certain products for, but these are the ones i'm 100% ride or die for, that i trust 100% :D

#thank you for the ask :D

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guccibootyellow · 1 year

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Yellow Diamond Natal Chart + Yellow’s Sun

This is here to give a basic summary of each placement in her chart, as well as what each placement means. Hopefully, this will help inform you of some of her main traits and how you can start to see her personality develop. I really hope you enjoy these posts and that you find it informative! For all intents and purposes, this is for entertainment.

If you ever use this information to create another discussion or as a point of reference, or you create any fanfics or art based off of the information here, please feel free to tell me bc I would love to see it. I’m literally sharing this information with the fanbase so we get more content and discuss the Diamonds lmao. So, please tag me.

I am still planning to create deep dives for all of the Diamonds, meaning I will examine and explain their chart in greater detail, but as they’re so long, there is no defined date for this yet. Please keep an eye out for it though, as White’s is nearly done and Yellow will be next.

Updates will be daily and hopefully at 3pm, UK time. All posts will be tagged under this blog as #diamondsnatalchart

To read her Sun sign, please keep reading below.

☀️ Sun: Capricorn in the Sixth House. ☀️

The Sun represents your inner self, your “true” identity. Here, Yellow is a Capricorn, which means she’s ambitious and practical, whilst also having an excellent sense of social responsibility. She’s very aware of what is considered socially acceptable, perhaps to her own detriment and anxiety, and she may be found in a state of aloofness or melancholy, but this is actually because she’s constantly ticking boxes in her head about what needs to be done before the day ends.

Capricorns are represented by the goat because of how cautiously they advance to the top, meaning- depending on their other placements- they’re quite happy to work slowly and steadily if they perceive that they will gain some sense of accomplishment. Resultantly, Yellow very much values consistency and effort. Because of this, she may be focused a bit too much on material accomplishments, public recognition and achievement, and gaining a sense of honour. This may cause issues for her, as she may become anxious, frustrated, or insecure if she doesn’t rework how she perceives these areas of her life.

Deep down, however, Yellow is a lover, prioritising what she thinks people need in order to thrive. She has the ability to switch between your fave tequila aunt or the CEO that scares the living daylights out of you- she may come across quite sullen or irritated but she’s sensitive underneath it all, as well as open-minded, devoted, and genuine. Yellow isn’t afraid to stand up for what she believes in. An innovator and a creative, as well as someone who doesn’t take leadership lightly, Yellow is a nurturer, an organiser, and a true friend.

With her Sun in the Sixth House, work, health, and service are all big themes of how Yellow expresses herself. Similar to Capricorns, the Sixth House is known for its persistence, work ethic, and love of routine, which means these traits are doubled down in Yellow. She may feel prone, therefore, to staying in a work environment where she’s unhappy or uncomfortable, simply because she feels the need to see it through to the end. This is because her success in work is corresponded to her self-esteem and if she feels she can’t be useful, she fails to see her own self-worth. Workaholism is most likely a big issue for her in her lifetime. She is incapable of achieving or participating in anything less than excellence.

Yellow is fuelled by how she can help others, how she can build something useful and lasting in all that she does. She’s meticulous when it comes to routine, particularly in her daily life, as she believes a good routine will help her achieve anything. Feeling productive is one of her favourite things in the word; she can’t bear to be inefficient. Wasting time and energy is simply not on the agenda. What’s more, she’s particular about her own health. Yellow may live quite healthily- in whatever way that may be- as she believes good habits affect all other aspects of her life. She’s most likely interested in exercise and being physically fit.

Yellow has a Leo degree in her Sun, which means she also has a tendency to be warm, generous, expressive, assertive, and creative in her true sense of self.

#yellow diamond #astrology #steven universe #steven universe future #steven universe the movie #bellow diamond #bellow #diamondsnatalchart #yd

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lomoshield · 2 years

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Okra health benefits

Hindi: bhindee, bandakai, dheras, vendakai South East Asia: okra plant, okoro, ochro, quimgombo, gombo, quingumbo, kopi, kacang bendi, arab, bhindi It was originated in Ethiopia and was propagated by 12th century BC in North Africa, Arabia, Mediterranean and India. It is widely grown in West Africa especially Nigeria. It is also used for the production of vanspati. Okra seed oil is a common edible oil that is extracted with the use of solvent extraction method and could also be used as a substitute for cotton seed oil. Sensitive people might get allergic reactions.Before use, consult the doctor to remain on the safe side.The people who have kidney stones and irritable bowel syndrome should not use it.Due to its increased popularity, the pods have gained respect as a vegetable in the country U.S. Creoles learned to cook okra for thickening soups from slaves in Louisiana. and Caribbean and was brought from West Africa by slaves and soon after, it was introduced to Western Europe. The seed pods were cooked and seeds were roasted or ground and also used as a substitute for coffee. It is commercially grown in Japan, India, Western Africa, Iran, Turkey, Bangladesh, Yugoslavia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Thailand, Malaysia, Myanmar, Brazil, India, Cyprus, Ethiopia and Southern United States. It is an excellent source of linoleic acid which is a polyunsaturated fatty acid that is a required nutrition for humans. This oil possesses Gama and Alfa tocopherols along with triglycerides. The resulted oil is bright yellow in color having a greenish tinge and a fragrant odor. In 1920, Baughman and Jamaienson analyzed that the seeds have 20% of oil so Solvent extraction method is suitable to extract oil instead of expelling. The seeds of Okra are striated hairy and round that could be used for oil extraction. Okra has high content of Vitamin C, A, iron and calcium. It is mostly prized for the seed pods it produces. Botanically, it is called Abelmoschus esculentus and belongs to the family Malvaceae. It is also known as bhindi, lady’s fingers and bhendi. In order to preserve many of the vitamins and nutrients in fresh okra it may be advised to cook at as low a temperature or as little time as possible.Okra is a flowering plant that has been originated in India and various English speaking countries. When okra is cooked from frozen it is important to remove as much of the extra moisture as possible. Picking okra when wet can cause it to discolor however, this does not affect it in any adverse way other than how it looks. It is important to note that okra must be blanched before freezing. Okra may also be frozen or pickled and canned to extend the length of time this vegetable may be enjoyed. It is a key ingredient in many gumbo recipes. It can be lightly breaded and fried, added to soups and stews, and so much more. Because okra is high in Vitamin C it is beneficial as an anti-inflammatory and antioxidant. Okra has even successfully been used as an experimental blood plasma replacement. The fiber in okra also works as a probiotic feeding the good bacteria found in the digestive system. Okra is a very high fiber food which allows it to help regulate and stabilize blood sugars. It is best to pick your okra pods when they are 3 inches in length. Some commonly grown varieties of okra include: Annie Oakley, Red Burgundy, Cow Horn, Jade, Clemson Spineless, and Dwarf Green Long Pod. Okra is a warm weather loving plant and will not grow well when the temperature is below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. In order to ensure an adequate amount of okra plants, it is best to plant 3 seeds together at each spot then thin down to 1 plant when they reach about 6 inches in height. Okra needs quite a bit of room to grow so plant your seeds about 15 inches apart. It is important to wait to plant until all danger of frost has passed. It does not like to be transplanted therefore it is best to directly sow your okra seeds in the garden. Okra which is sometimes called Gumbo is also known by the scientific names Abelmoschus esculentus and Hibiscus esculentus. During World War II okra was even used as a replacement to brew coffee since the okra seeds were used as beans. And, okra was cultivated by the Egyptians as far back as the times of Cleopatra. It is believed that Okra had its beginnings in Africa and has spread throughout the world to places such as the United States and Japan.

#Okra health benefits

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here2bbtstrash · 2 years

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Hi, Em! I was feeling nosy today, so I read your about me, and now I have a random question that I hope you don't mind answering lmao

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, but I gradually stopped presenting symptoms as I grew up. Now it's coming back to bite my ass again cause I'm god's favorite child, I guess. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how annoying is having ADHD as an adult? Cause I've been stressing about not stressing enough about the things I need to get done and, as a result, I end up doing nothing, which stresses me out even more 😭

PHEWWWWW OH MAN do i know that feeling well lmao. so i have been medicated before but i'm not currently taking anything, and i would definitely say i go through phases where my adhd feels more and less under control. it can even change day to day. some days are a 1 and some are a 10 and most fall somewhere in between. i'd say today was like a 4? i focused really hard at work and got a lot done, but i felt absolutely WIPED afterwards bc i had to push so hard lol

idk if you want advice but i'll babble, some things i've found that help me generally are:

focus music (i like pulling up lofi bts on youtube bc lyrics in any language are too distracting, or i'll do ambient noise, or video game soundtracks)

lighting specific candles when i'm focusing so my brain associates that scent with 'ok time to not fuck around'

the pomodoro method (or if that feels like too much, "just 5 minutes" - set a 5 minute timer and tell yourself you only have to do the thing for 5 minutes, most of the time you'll finish it before the timer goes off OR you'll realize it's not that bad bc now you've gotten started and you're in the flow)

regular exercise (even just going for walks!)

having a consistent sleep schedule

not over-caffeinating (i am bad at this one)

asking for help!!!!! (also bad at this one 🥴)

trying to get outside and see the sun daily

making to-do lists even if i have to write them down in 5 places

following the dopamine (aka - DO WHAT SOUNDS FUN !!)

taking baby steps and actually celebrating them

productive procrastination (ie: put off the thing i REALLY don't wanna do by doing some other stuff that doesn't sound as impossible)

allowing my rest time to TRULY be rest (by giving myself permission to do nothing and not feel guilty)

embracing the good days and doing my best to ride out the bad ones

and above everything: BEING KIND TO MYSELF BECAUSE BEING NEURODIVERGENT IS REALLY FUCKING HARD AND THE WORLD WAS NOT BUILT FOR US AND WE'RE DOING OUR BEST

wow if you didn't know i had adhd before you could definitely tell just based on how chaotic that list is 💀 i hope some/any of that helps?? you are very much not alone my friend and i am always here to talk about the struggles of being an adult with adhd 💜 please be kind to yourself! you got this!!!

#anonymous #mbox 📮#formatted this better bc wow it was a nightmare lmao #adhd babes 🦋

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idealrooferideas · 2 years

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How to Go About Roof Covering Installation

Prior to you get started on your roofing setup, make certain you comprehend the importance of a strong seal. A solid seal is vital to stay clear of leaks. To ensure a safe and secure seal, make use of an adhesive starter strip. The strip's continual adhesive will certainly protect against water from penetrating through the material. Every roofing system needs some type of penetration, such as sewer vents or contour vents, which are utilized to aerate the interior of the home. Roof covering cement is used to seal these infiltrations. When it comes to blinking, metal is a common material for valleys. Flashing is generally made of copper, lead, or zinc. Click here to get a list of the best Roofing Companies in Vancouver BC at the comfort of your home.

Correct installation is important to protect against deterioration and also staining. Moss and also algae are common issues on roof valleys, so zinc blinking can help you get rid of these issues. This steel can also be utilized to treat moss as well as algae. It can be hard to detect, but it is essential to recognize exactly how to determine them. Mounting a new roof covering can be a messy event. Not only does it need a great deal of effort and time, however the materials used for setup can likewise cause damages to your indoor wall surfaces. During the setup procedure, any kind of products that aren't securely installed on these wall surfaces can fall. Therefore, it's important to make plans for the disturbances.

In situation you function from house, you ought to take into consideration sending your youngsters to a next-door neighbor's home or to your grandparents'. Before mounting a new roof, the old one need to be gotten rid of. Some property owners pick to set up more than one layer of roofing, however this can bring about premature failure of the roofing. It is very important to quit the old roof from expanding beyond the sheathing. After that, you need to rebuild the sheathing. Sheathing includes flat panels that serve as a base for the roof product. If you do not do this, you'll likely get a leak. The day of the roofing system installment is possibly the most vital day in the life of a brand-new roof covering. If it's installed poorly, it might cause other issues as well, including early failure of the roofing.

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An alternative post for more info on the topic here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roofer.

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misschifuyu · 3 years

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Hi, can you write shower with baji, ran and draken<3

- hello bby ! and of course ♡ every time i get a request w/ ran I literally want to write a novel abt him,,much love for him

Baji, Ran and Draken showering headcanons

genre: fluff

warnings: slightly suggestive for ran + draken, but not for baji bc !! we don’t sexualise minors in this household

Baji

it's quite rare to actually catch this guy in the shower

not because he's unhygienic - far from it, he knows how to take care of himself - but rather it's due to the fact that he usually takes them at ungodly hours of the night

we're talking 4am showers

if you happen to be awake, or he decides to have one at a more reasonable time of the day, he won't be opposed to let you join. in fact, he'd enjoy your company

you'd be a grand help when it came to washing his hair. believe it or not, baji has a fair share of hair products to wash his locks, and you'd have to use them in the right order if you didn't want to get a face full of soap

of course, he will return the favour if you'd like him to, just know that he might make a few comments here and there over how you should take care of your type of hair. he seems to think he knows it all when it comes to that topic, when in reality he used to use a three-in-one just a year ago

courtesy of chifuyu commenting that his hair was starting to look like a mop

baji, being the guy he is, will sometimes find it absolutely hilarious to watch you fumble around for the soap that he had well hidden in the shower

you'd end up finding it, but only after a good few minutes of asking him what the hell he had done with the little bar of soap

frequently, you would threaten to push him over to make him fall in the shower because of this. however, you knew well he was pretty stable on his feet and the tables would only turn in his favour

and, frankly, you didn't want to leave the shower with a massive bruise on your arm from falling over

when the two of you are done, don't expect to be dressed quickly. no, baji will take up the opportunity of being with you to pick out a moisturiser from your bathroom supplies and insist that you lathered yourself up. and then also proceed to examine anything else you used after a shower

he's curious and looking to learn more, so if he wants to read the small letters on the back of your face cream, let him. he won't do any harm, other than waste a ridiculous amount of time doing so

usually, he'd let his hair dry on its own, but since you also wanted to have a bit of fun, you decided to wrap one of the extra towels you had around his head, leaving him looking quite fancy

he wasn't best pleased over the fact he looked like he had just left a spa, but he figured it meant keeping his hair out of his face

Ran

the oldest haitani brother will always end up using your shower whenever he crashed at your place. it's gotten to the point where he doesn't even ask anymore, he simply goes

you didn't mind, but most of the times he'd try and get you to tag along with him. not a convenient thing to do when you're in the middle of finishing up work or sorting out the house

however, you'd usually comply. besides, it was far from the only time you'd see him in all his glory

showers with ran last absolutely ages, spanning from 45 minutes to an hour and a half. it goes without saying that your fingers end up all wrinkly by the time you're done

you'd help him undo his plaits whilst he told you about his day. he always has something to talk to you about, and he loves being around you so it's the perfect scenario together

if he wasn't going to wash his hair, he'd let you tie it up in a bun on top of his head. you'd always struggle to keep it in place since it was quite soft and the hair band would frequently slip out

but, if not, he'd simply wear it down. the sight of his loose hair was always one to admire, as it was rare to see it out of his signature braids

during the shower, he likes you stand behind you, rather than facing you. this allows him to lean his chin on your head as the water falls on both of you

since he's very above average when it comes to height, you'd be in charge of washing the bottom half of his hair whilst he dealt with his scalp

you had suggested getting some kind of seat so you could reach him but the idea had blown over as you got used to simply doing half of his hair

when it came to your turn in washing your hair, you won't even need to move whatsoever. ran loves to take care of your hair as much as his, so it will be his pleasure to do it for you

the reasoning behind the length of the showers is because he has a tendency of indulging himself just a little too much in you

you'll be washing out the shampoo on your scalp when you'd feel his hands roaming a little further down from your head

shameless as he is, he will be amused at the reactions you'd always give him when his fingers skimmed the soft skin of your body

needless to say, he'd more than often end up having to lather you in soap again

but he's also prone to using the showers as his personal talk show

this man can talk, and though you're more than happy to listen, you'd sometimes have to ask him to just get on with it if you were in a hurry to get out

Draken

it's common knowledge that draken with his hair down is a sight to remember and commend

he doesn't really get the big deal every time you'd smile when the single braid was undone, leaving his blonde locks to fall by the side of your face

he likes your reaction, though, and it's the reason he frequently suggests you join him in the shower after a long, tiring day of being out

you were always more than happy to do so, as he'd usually stay over for the night when he did and it meant there wouldn't be a sweaty guy ruining the sheets of your bed

he'd look down at you as you'd tell him about your day, the water falling down on the two of you

it was a nice way to finish off a day, and he was sure there wasn’t anything better he could ask for

when it comes to washing each other’s hair, draken would do yours first

he claimed it was better that way because you could leave the conditioner in for longer as you did his

a very hair-care informed man he is

he loves the feeling of your fingers running through his hair as he crouches down so that you can actually reach the top of his head

the two of you would always laugh when he’d meet you at eye level. you swore one day you’d buy platform flip flops for the shower so he could stand up the whole time

usually, when you washed his hair, you’d circle around so that you were behind him

when you did, draken would sometimes give your sides a slight squeeze, causing you to yelp out of surprise

whether or not he continued to tease you was up to your following reaction

one time you had told him to be patient until you finished up lathering his hair, which just resulted in a frustrated draken for a good five minutes

at the end of the shower, you’d both get out and wrap yourselves up in fluffy towels. you would frequently ask to dry his hair out, carefully, to which he’d happily agree

only in exchange to dry you up too, which always ended up in him wrapping you up like a baby and laughing at your reaction as you complained about him flattening your hair down with his creative ideas

he’d always fix it up afterwards, though, so there was nothing to fret !

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers baji #keisuke baji #tokyo revengers ran #ran haitani #tokyo revengers draken #ken ryuuguji #fluff #tokyo revengers x reader

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