#or really just talks about writing forever

[freyaphoria]

hiiiii what do you think ateez’s kink are? we know that wooyoung enjoys when someone being mean to him but i couldnt think about other members

Hiii! I don't know why this is so long I am sorry, I guess I've been waiting for this moment. I couldn't choose just one for each member, so I generally wrote down the things they liked. Anyways, I hope you will like it!♡

Ateez Members' Kinks

Tw: nsfw, a lot of kinks i can't write everything sorry

I think Hongjoong is degrader, brat tamer and loves dirty talk, a lot of teasing, choking kink, so he looooves to ruin you. He can be switch too but mostly he is a dom. For Seonghwa, it is a little bit cliche but he has daddy/mommy kink, he is rigger and loves to give sensory deprivation (i think he makes art while sex so sex with him is very aesthetic and satisfactory). Yunho DEFINITELY has choking kink (breath play), likes dry humping, has size kink (he likes to press your belly and feel himself inside you UGHH) he is very giggly at the beginning but when things start to get heated, he becomes overly dominant and directive, seeing you in sexy clothes motivates him. I WILL FOREVER DEFEND THAT YEOSANG IS A HEAVY DOMINANT! So he has HUGE power play kink, sometimes no foreplay, he is saidst, dirty talk, pushing boundaries his favourite! He is experimentalist so you can try everything with him. San aww my baby, unlike most people think, I think he's a sub. It's like he gets into that mindset when the cameras are off. SO he has def daddy/mommy kink (imagine he is whining and says "mommy... let me cum please. I was being so good" UGH SAN OFC BABY) He likes to be tied up so he is rope bunny, loves biting, praise kink, choking kink, maybe a little bit slave kink but not too much (he just wants to please you and be good boy!). He can be switch and take control but he wants to be sub most of the time. For Mingi, my favourite sub boy, he def has mommy kink. It doesn't matter what gender you are, he will always call you mommy srry, I think he likes to be tied up but not completely (Don't tie one of his hands! He will wants to touch you), he likes temperature play (imagine sliding the ice over his chest and nipples), MARKING-BITING, btw he will try to be bratty but he will fail lol. Wooyoung will dominate you most of the time but he is a switch. He is degrader, and as you said he likes to be degradee, biting ofc, CHOKING KINK! (pls choke him), breathe play, SPANK HIM, he likes to watch while sex so there must be a mirror while he is doing it, he is a experimentalist too you can try everything, he is sadist and masochist, exhibitionist. MY FAV DOM JONGHO HE IS REALLY HAS DILF VIBES, he has daddy kink, rigger, verrrry dominant, brat tamer, power play is must, maybe spanking?Seeing you in sexy clothes motivates him too. He doesn't like to take off his top clothes because it gives him superiority.

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez smut #song mingi #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #choi san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #kpop smut

[straight-to-the-pain]

I don't know if anyone else in the whump community has read 'A Constellation of Vital Phenomena' by Anthony Marra but it is genuinely a really good book and also has some of the best depictions of torture and its aftermath that I have read in fiction.

I wanted to share some of my favourite quotes, hopefully without too many spoilers as it is out of context, but maybe skip this post if you don't want to know anything at all going in.

To give a brief summary, the book centres around the lives of people in Chechnya during the first and second war between the Russian government (Feds) and the separatist rebels. The main story focuses on a man (Akhmed) who is trying to save his neighbour's daughter from being killed by the Feds after her father is taken away in the middle of the night. He does this by taking her to a hospital where he then volunteers. One of the people in his village (Ramzan) becomes an informer for the Feds after being tortured, and this is explored in the excerpts below.

‘Information the Feds would torture them for was written here on the walls for all to see. It was well understood among the men that the Feds had as much sense as two bricks smashed together. It was also understood that pain, rather than information, was the true purpose of interrogation.'

'During his first detention in the landfill, in 1995, in the first war, he had refused to inform. They had wrestled down his trousers, shown him the bolt cutters, and still he had said no. Screaming, thrashing, with his manhood half severed, he had said no. He had done that, and now he was ready to start saying yes.'

'He would have confessed everything, but they didn't ask, weren't interested, threatened to cut out his tongue and put pliers to his teeth if he spoke one more fucking word. Electric wires were wound around his fingers. A car battery was drained into his bones. God might have been watching, but it wasn't God's finger on the battery switch. The interrogating officers didn't speak. Instead he was an instrument they played, performing a duet, and in their own way they conversed through his sobs. They both wore very shiny shoes. That was all he would remember.'

'He had trouble walking, He had forgotten torture could be so exhausting. The new interrogator, the one with less shiny shoes, held him upright, using his whole body as a crutch, and helped him walk. He carefully wiped Ramzan's forehead with a handkerchief before opening the door to the next room.'

'The interrogator with less shiny shoes crouched behind him. His hands were wet. Ramzan promised everything, and the interrogator, like the parent of a child too old to believe in ghosts, watched him with disappointment, his clear eyes saddened by Ramzan's sincerity. The interrogator took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, laid the live wires on Ramzan's chest and mapped the border of their shared humanity. Ramzan offered his soul. He begged to be enslaved. The known universe contracted to the limits of the cement floor, and on it, the interrogator was both man and deity, prophet and god. By ten o'clock the interrogator with less shiny shoes asked his first question. By eleven the electrical wires were unwound from Ramzan's fingers. By noon he was allowed to dress. By one he was on the FSB payroll. He kept thanking the interrogator with less shiny shoes.'

‘Greed didn’t motivate his informing, at least not primarily; primarily he informed by necessity, to survive, for his love and hate and above all awe of the power wielded by the interrogating officer with less shiny shoes.'

'That was his greatest fear. Could he stay silent? Could he withstand what awaited him? He told himself that his love for the girl should fortify him against any torture, but this, like so much of what he told himself, was a lie. After all, he was squeamish at the sight of blood, what would he say when lying in a puddle of his own? But he saw no other way. He would pray for the strength to stay silent, for a quick heart attack, and leave the rest to God.' (This is Akhmed POV)

'When they threatened to beat me, I said nothing, Akhmed. When they threatened to beat me, I said nothing. When they threatened to electrocute me, I said nothing. When they threatened to castrate me, I said nothing. I said nothing, Akhmed. Whatever you think of me, you remember that once I said nothing when a wiser man would have sung. And the interrogators, they couldn't believe it. They called in others to examine me. I was there on the floor, and above their faces were dark ovals silhouetted by the ceiling lights. They had beaten me hard and I couldn't hear right, but I kept saying no, with every breath I had. The main reason they let me go, the only reason they didn't shoot me right there was out of perverse respect, some sort of professional courtesy. But I wish they had shot me, Akhmed, because the good part of me died there, and all this, everything since, has been an afterlife I'm trying to escape.'

‘I knew what was coming. I knew it never stops. They put a shame inside you that goes on like a bridge with no end, the humiliation, the fucking humiliation of knowing that you are not a human being but a bundle of screaming nerve endings, that the torture goes on even when the physical hurt quietens. People treated me differently when I came back the first time.'

#torture #whump #s talks #a constellation of vital phenomena #idk what else to tag this with tbh #electricity torture #beating #I don't think it counts as gore tbh but like viewer discretion is advised #I really like this portrayal tbh #because like torture sort of is effective for the feds but they dont actually care about the truth #ramzan is mostly just giving up people who gossipped about him and then just whoever he is told he has to invent evidence on #and like obviously there are characters who do not choose to inform #akhmed does not give up the girl we know this #but yeah idk it's intersting to me #like torture as something functional but also completely empty of meaning #also I just really like the writing #and the way it talks about the aftermath and the trauma of it that alters ramzan forever in some ways #but it's also clear that it's not just the torture that made him do it like #he is a complex character and he is also trying to protect his dad who relies on insulin to survive #and he also agreed to inform to save his friend who had his fingers cut off

[yayakoishii]

Sober (Pt. 2) | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x GN! Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre/Tags: Angst, Happy Ending, Sanji being dumb

Summary: You had waited for Sanji to confess to you when he was sober. Except...

A/n: I don't usually write sequels but I felt like it and then it became unexpectedly angsty?? It's still a pretty happy ending imo, so I hope you like this continuation ♡

To new readers, this is a part 2 to my oneshot that I've linked below. You could read this one without reading that, but it won't make as much sense.

Part 1

also available on ao3!

He didn't do it.

The morning after, Sanji woke up with a terrible headache and vague hazy memories from the night before. It was only when he was serving breakfast to everyone and saw you that he remembered the… conversation you two had had. But then he dismissed it, realising it was only a dream. He had drank too much, fallen asleep and dreamt of you. Yeah, that must have been it.

Thinking so, he smiled at you as usual and mooned over Nami and Robin as always, not noticing your hopeful smile turn into a disappointed one.

Every time you popped into the kitchen or tried to strike up a conversation with Sanji after that, the dream would pop up in his mind and he ended up stammering his way out. A few days in, you realised he was avoiding you and started reciprocating by not going out of your way to talk to him either.

Sanji missed you. He didn't realise what the problem was because he wasn't being that weird. Okay, so maybe he was too flustered from his dream where you had held him so close and he had kissed you (he could still feel the phantom warmth of your breath on his mouth, the wet press of your lips on his cheek) and it was difficult to talk to you about anything without feeling the urge to do that with you. Maybe he had shut down one conversation too many but now you were avoiding him back and he didn't know how to fix it.

He couldn't just tell you about that dream he had had. You would slap him and be disgusted and freak out. Even the thought of that sunk his heart. He could tolerate being just a crewmate to you for the rest of your lives, but he couldn't tolerate the thought of you hating him forever. But without talking about the dream, he couldn't explain himself either.

A week passed like that, the two of you awkward and clumsy around each other. Everyone else noticed and Nami had tried to talk to both you and Sanji about it but neither of you let her know anything. They were all confused and Luffy just wanted you both to go back to being your usual selves because it was weird even for him. Of course, no one had the gall to say it to your faces, and Nami had stopped Luffy from saying it when he tried.

Fortunately, a new island appeared and the usual straw hat cycle of finding a city in trouble and accidentally saving them played its hand. The resulting party had you downing a few bottles of wine, although Sanji knew how much you hated the taste of alcohol.

"Why would I drink that?" Your face had scrunched up the first time Sanji had questioned you about it. "It doesn't taste good to me at all. I'd rather drink the juice you make for me, Sanji."

There was no one on the ship who praised Sanji's cooking as much as you did. You didn't hesitate to compliment his food every single day and while Sanji was very secure in his cooking ability, it was still validating to hear how much you loved his food anyway.

This past week you hadn't complimented him even once. You had never gone this long without doing it so Sanji knew you had to be really upset with him. He had to try and fix this as soon as he could.

Even during the party, his head was full of thoughts of you. When he looked out for you, he found you slumped over a table, empty wine bottles lying all around you. Without thinking, Sanji made his way over and cleared away the bottles so that you wouldn't accidentally break one and hurt yourself. You stayed silent as you watched him.

"Do you want to go back to the Sunny, my dear?" Sanji looked at you finally, trying to exude his usual self. You shot him a glare and pouted, your cheeks puffing up in what was unmistakably anger.

"Go away," you hissed at him. Sanji had to blink away the thought of how much you resembled a cat in that moment. "I don' like lyin' liars who lie to me."

Sanji had expected you to be angry at him but that statement confused him. He had avoided you, yes, but he could not remember lying to you. You were not one to lie so perhaps there had been a misunderstanding between you two?

"Which lie are you talking about, (y/n)-chan?" He asked carefully. You froze and shot him another glare. Even angry, you looked cute.

"Which lie?" You sounded outraged. "How many lies have you told me, huh?!"

"Wh– that's not what I meant!" Sanji tried to calm you down but you stood up abruptly and started walking back to the Sunny. The chef was stunned for a second. You never just up and leave. He had really badly fucked this up. So of course he had to run after you. Sanji caught up to you halfway, skidding to a halt in your path so you couldn't move. "Wait! I really don't know what lie you're talking about, my love, but I'm sorry for it. I will do whatever it takes to beg for your forgiveness and then try my best to make the lie a reality."

You stopped glaring and shot him a heartbroken look instead. Sanji felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. Why did you look like that over… him?

"That's what it was supposed to be," you said quietly. The two of you were quite a way away from the din of the party so Sanji could make out the words. He was getting more confused but he had to be patient and hear you out. He couldn't fix his mistake if he didn't know what he had done. "You said that if this was real… you wanted to hold me. You said you would tell me how much I mean to you. That you would kiss me and tell me how much you love me. So why haven't you, Sanji? Do you not feel those things anymore? Or was it all a lie?"

Sanji froze. That was… that was the dream he had had! How did you know– Oh. Oh he had been so stupid. It hadn't been a dream at all. It had been real. And he had fucked it all up by avoiding you after all of that.

"Maybe I was the one who was an idiot for thinking you could possibly like me," you were crying now, tears running down your cheeks. Sanji's heart hurt at the sight; he had wanted to be the reason for your smile and laughter, not for your tears. He had hurt you, the person most precious to him. You suddenly grabbed his collar and pushed him into the tree and he just let you, mind too jumbled up to say anything. "I'm a fool. God, I was so stupidly happy that night, I couldn't sleep. I thought all my dreams had come true. I thought we would be in love. I thought I could finally wake you up with a kiss and tell you how much I loved you too before we fell asleep. I thought I would make you your favourite dish for your birthday and, and go do one of those love compatibility readings at the fortune telling shop for fun! I thought, I thought of so many things I wanted to do with you and you… Sanji, you never came. You never told me those words you had said when you were drunk."

He wanted all of that too. Sanji wanted to do all those things you had said and even more.

Your tightened fists loosened as you breathed heavily, still crying. Even like this, you were still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. If Sanji had had any doubts before this, then they had no place in his heart any longer. All of him, mind, body and soul, was yours. He could not let you go on with this misunderstanding any longer.

"Guess they were wrong," you chuckled wetly, stepping back. "A drunk man's words aren't his truest thoughts after all. They are just his–"

"They are," Sanji said roughly, stepping back into your bubble. You didn't look up at him, just stared down at your feet, still crying silently. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for taking all this time, my love, when you deserved to be told everyday that I'm but a fool for your attention. I was in the wrong, thinking that night had been a mere dream when my imagination cannot even begin to dream up the warmth you possess. I'm sorry and I will spend the rest of my life earning your forgiveness, if only you would find it within yourself to give me one more chance."

Your eyes looked hopeless, and you just smiled weakly at him.

"Hasn't it been enough, Sanji?" Your voice wavered. "Don't play with my heart anymore. I love you too much to survive another–"

Sanji pulled you into a tight hug, his arms surrounding you completely. Although you were still mad at him, your body automatically relaxed at the familiar comforting scent of him. "I don't have the words to even begin to apologise for what I have done. But I swear to you, love, I will make up for my mistake in every action from now on. I will leave no doubt in your mind of the fact that I'm madly, stupidly, disgustingly deeply in love with you. So much that my own heart isn't enough to hold all that love."

"You're like a dream, Sanji," you said quietly into his ear, heart racing yet mind calm. "A dream that you can't quite remember when morning comes. A dream that the more you try to grasp it, the more it slips from you. But even if you're a dream like that, I want to believe in that dream. I'm stupid enough to want to get my heart hurt again because it has chosen you and refuses to choose any other. So you better show me that my heart made the right decision."

"I will," he promised, pressing you harder into him. You were clinging onto him just as hard, but your tears had finally stopped.

"I don't like lying liars who lie, Sanji," you repeated your words from before. The chef smiled to himself. "You better keep your word this time."

Sanji hummed and let you go only to cup your cheeks in the palm of his hands. You looked at him, still a mess from crying and drinking. You were starting to look sleepy but Sanji felt like you had blown all his sleep away.

"When I'm sober," you paused to give a tiny yawn that had Sanji's heart clenching from how adorable it was, "you better be next to me."

Sanji smiled and picked you up bridal style. You curled into him and fell asleep in two seconds, barely catching his soft reply.

"I'll be there."

°•❀•°

All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

★ Taglist:

@phantasmagoricalzenith | @secretlife028 | @100520s | @toertchen | @suga-tofu | @theluckyplaces | @luvfzw | @katiemrty | @writingmysanity | @akaashi-todorki | @yuninha2004

+ @vespidphoenix | @cobainlover | @blue-chup | @yourboyhack (tagging because you seemed interested in pt. 2; sorry if it's a bother!)

#one piece #one piece imagines #sanji fanfiction #one piece x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x you #sanji x you #sanji x reader #op sanji #black leg sanji #fanfic #sanji fanfic #angst #angst with happy ending #part 2 #one piece fanfic

[writtenbeneaththestars]

Stood on the cliffside screaming

Summary: Jameson and Grayson deal with the anniversary of Emily's death Warnings: thoughts of suicide, angst, past character death (please tell me if I missed any!!) A/N: I'm really bad at writing romance so uh I'm sorry in advance for the kinda small averyjameson scene at the beginning.... *please tell me if I made any mistakes!!*

Tags: @catapparently, @urbanflorals, @nqds, @reminiscentreader, @never-enough-novels

“Jamie,” Avery said as she laid a hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder. He turned to give her a soft smile.

“Heiress.” She could tell he was holding something back. And she had a few suspicions about what that something was.

“I know what the date is, Jameson Hawthorne.” He tensed for the briefest moment under her hand before relaxing again.

“Happy birthday, heiress.”

“You know that wasn’t the day I was talking about,” Avery said softly. They both knew exactly what she was talking about. They both knew exactly why today was what it was.

October eighteenth. The happiest and worst day of Jameson’s life. The day Avery was born and the day Emily died.

“I know,” Jameson muttered softly, leaning down to kiss his girlfriend. It was soft. He was letting her decide what to do with it. But really, what choice was there but to kiss him back? Deep and yearning. It was a feeling she wanted to go on for forever. But it couldn’t and they both knew that.

“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point you know,” Avery said, pulling away. She was close enough to feel his breath tickle her skin. Close enough to just lean in and let the world melt away yet again. To just let everything go and fall into his arms. But she couldn’t when he was hurting. They both knew that.

“Can’t we just celebrate the good thing?” His breath whispered across her face. She wanted nothing more than to celebrate today, but she wanted to do it when one of her favorite people in the world wasn't in pain.

“You’re hurting, Jamie.” He let out a soft sigh but didn’t back away.

“Today will never be easy. I think you know that. But it’s easier when I’m with you. When I think about the good things and not the bad.” He lifted his hand and rested it on her face. “Like the fact that today was the day you were born into this world. The day that meant that sometime in the future, we would meet each other. The day that led to this.”

“Jamie.” Her voice was barely audible. She was scared that any volume louder than that would break the delicate calm in the storm they had created.

“Heiress.” He returned with the same gentleness.

“I love you.” And they descended into a kiss yet again. Just when their lips touched, she heard someone clearing their throat. Avery whipped her head around, and saw Nash standing in the doorway with a smug grin. Crap.

“You know,” the eldest Hawthorne brother said, walking in. “You really ought to close the door when you’re making out.” He looked over at Avery. “Happy birthday.”

“Oh, um, th– thank you,” Avery managed to stutter out. She was sure her face was red at this point. What was more embarrassing than having your boyfriend’s older brother slash older sister’s fiancé walking in on you kissing? Jamie sighed, narrowing his eyes at his brother.

“Why are you here, Nash.”

“I was bored,” he said, shrugging. Then he paused for a moment before turning to Jamie with concern in his eyes. “How are you doing?” Jameson rolled his eyes with a scoff.

“I’m fine, Nash.” Nash looked at Avery, raising his eyebrows.

‘Better,’ Avery mouthed, taking her boyfriend’s hand. Nash nodded. That was good. As the oldest brother, he was always worried about them. But today especially. Emily’s death day was never good for Jamie and Gray. But Jamie has Avery to keep him from doing anything too reckless now, and he was grateful for that.

“Has anyone seen Gray today?” He asked. Avery felt Jameson’s hand tense in her own.

“You haven’t?” To anyone else, his voice would have sounded carefree and light. But Avery knew what he was really feeling. Despite how he wanted everyone to think, Jameson cared about his brothers a lot. He was worried. And the more worried he got, the more he tended to pretend that he wasn’t.

“I was going to check the pool next,” Nash said with a shrug.

“No,” Jameson said, a strange expression on his face. “His two AM swim should be over by now.” His tone was mocking, but Avery knew better. A look of realization dawned on his face as he let out a curse.

“You know where he is, don’t you,” Nash said, watching as his brother put on a thin jacket, no doubt getting ready to leave the house. Jamie paused, letting out a dramatic sigh.

“Oh, ‘tis so woeful being the only genius in this house.” He left the room, but not before giving one more smirk back at Avery and Nash. She started to follow him out, but Nash put a hand on her shoulder.

“Something about this tells me that they need to do this alone,” he muttered. He shot her a grin. “And if they end up not killing each other in the next ten minutes, we can go get them then.” Avery nodded, before turning to Nash with a puzzled expression.

“How will we know where to go?” Nash shot her another grin, and then it clicked. “You already know where he is, don’t you.” Nash shrugged.

“I figured this was something they should do themselves first.” Of course he already knew. “Although,” he added. “I don’t particularly like the spot Gray chose.” He shrugged, but Avery could tell he was worried too. The brothers cared about each other. And Nash being the oldest one, well, he’s had more experience than all of them in dealing with and taking care of the Hawthorne brothers. “I’ll text you in five,” he called out behind him as he left her room.

****

The wind was cold, but Grayson couldn’t feel it. It was unusually cold for an October day, but he supposed it fit. It was funny, in a twisted sort of way how much he wanted to just– no. He wasn’t allowed to show that. He wasn’t allowed to say that. He could only think that because he needed to be perfect. And perfect people don’t think about jumping off to see if they would fly, knowing damn well they can’t.

Perfect people wouldn’t be like Grayson Hawthorne.

He would just swim. Just swim until he physically couldn’t anymore, then he’d swim one more lap after that. To get rid of the noise. To get rid of the hurt. To get rid of the numb. But it always returned with a vengeance the moment he stopped. But this cliff? This cliff was fine. Yeah, it was fine. He could just– he could just stay here a little longer, right?

He had lost track of time at this point. How long had he been up here, looking over the edge? How long had he been shut off and numb to the world around him? Well, he knew the answer to that. Since practically forever. He couldn’t remember a single day when nothing hurt. When nothing was wrong. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. He wouldn’t let it matter.

Sometime, somewhere in the fog that had taken over his brain, he heard footsteps from behind him. It was funny how he could be so lost yet so aware at the same time. He picked on the littlest things these days, yet he was still never fully present for any of it.

At first he thought he was making it all up. He’s made up entire people before, so what's stopping him from making up this sound? Still he whipped his head around, and was filled with the slightest of shock and relief that he wasn’t making it up.

“So I was right,” he heard his brother say when he turned his head back around. Jameson sounded smug, but Grayson had long gained the ability to see – and hear – through his facade. He was worried. Grayson wanted to scoff and shake some sense into him because Grayson Hawthorn did not need any worry. He didn’t deserve it.

“How are you today, Jameson?” He asked, because asking Jameson and making sure he was ok was easier than telling him that Grayson wasn’t. He wouldn't admit it was because he cared about his brother. He just wouldn’t. He was met with a scoff coming from his right as Jameson sat down next to him.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah, sure.” Grayson said. His brother could deflect as much as he wanted, but Grayson could do it better.

“Well that’s rich coming from the person who’s sitting on the edge of the cliff where they watched someone die.” Grayson could do nothing but shrug. There was a pause before Jameson spoke again. “It’s hard, but I’m getting through it. Avery’s helping.” Grayson nodded. That was good. As much as he hated to show it, he hated the idea of any of his brothers being hurt. “How are you?” So he really did ask it, huh.

“I’m fine.” He was aware that he was echoing Jameson, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.

“Yeah, because sitting on the edge of the cliff where Emily died for who knows how long at this point is certainly the definition of fine.” He flinched when her name was mentioned and he knew Jameson noticed. He was relieved when it wasn’t brought up. “Talk to me, Gray.” But he couldn’t. Didn’t he understand? He couldn’t. He let out a quiet sigh.

“Life is funny, isn’t it?” Grayson turned to his brother for the first time since he arrived, laughing darkly. He turned back to the direction of the edge. “It just has to make them both land on the same date, doesn’t it.” He turned his head up to look at the sky. Jameson didn’t talk. “I’m just– I’m so sick of it.” He couldn’t bring himself to care that he was revealing what he had kept buried for his entire life, and to his brother no less.

“Of the dates?” Jameson sounded light, like he didn’t have a care in the world, but Grayson heard the heaviness in his voice nonetheless.

“Of life.” He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, unearthing feelings he had taught himself to suppress for as long as he could remember. But it felt like nothing. Like he was just empty.

“You were going to jump off that cliff.” Jameson said, his voice a mix of emotions that Grayson didn’t have the energy or motivation to pick apart. The part he did catch though, was that it wasn’t a question.

“No.” On some level, he was aware that he was talking. But it felt like he was underwater. Which was funny, because he realized that he sort of wanted to be. Underwater. And to never come back up. “I was going to step off.” He realized on some level that his voice sounded hollow. Like it had died a long time ago, and was decaying. It was funny because that was how he felt. Turned out his voice reflected it too. He realized he had a strange sense of humor.

“How long?” And Grayson knew exactly what he was asking. How long had he been this way? How long had he wanted to simply die and not be revived?

“The question you ought to ask isn’t how long,” he said, “rather when am I not.” He heard footsteps coming from behind them. Ah, so their ten minutes alone were up according to Nash.

“Have you guys gotten all your angst out yet?” He heard his youngest brother say. Leave it to Xander to lighten the mood.

“Meh,” Jameson said, and Grayson could hear him smirking. He knew without looking that Avery sat down next to his brother, and Nash was in the process of sitting down next to him. And Libby sat next to Nash, Max sat next to Avery, and Xander sat next to Max.

“So,” Avery said after a moment of silence. “The cliff?” Grayson shrugged.

“Personally,” Nash started saying, placing a hand on Grayson’s shoulder. He found that he strangely didn’t mind. “I think it’s a bit cold, but oh well.”

“Ok, now that everyone is here,” Jameson said after another moment of silence. “You can’t lie anymore. How are you really, Gray?” He was aware his heart was pounding, but he was too busy making sure he didn’t cry. Because Grayson Hawthorn could not cry. How long had he spent his childhood wishing, pleading that someone would ask him that? But now– now he didn’t know what to say.

“I have no idea.” His voice was monotone and conveyed no emotion at all. Just the way he liked it. Just the way Tobias liked it.

“That’s ok,” Nash said, and something in him broke. He felt a tear silently fall from his eyes. That was another thing. Crying silently. He had taught himself how to do that when he used to cry in the middle of the night before he had mastered the art of blocking everything out. And they just kept coming.

And then Jameson hugged him and they fell faster. They never hugged. Jameson pulled back and looked into his eyes.

'I know,' they were saying. 'I’ve got you. You’re safe. I know.'

The date would always be hard. But they had each other. And that made it that much more tolerable. And it would be ok.

It would be ok.

#my failed attempt(s) at writing #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #the inheritance games #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #averyjameson #avery x jameson #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne

[tsunami-of-tears]

Someplace better

Azriel x Reader

A/N: This is dark. There are no happy endings. Please read the warnings.

Wordcount: <1K

Warnings: angst doesn’t even cut it; emotionally abusive family dynamic; suicide; it does not end well, you’ve been warned.

My mother is a horrible wench. 

We just had yet another fight that ended in screaming and tears and slammed doors. 

I thought our relationship was getting better. I was trying to open up about the struggles I’ve been having, only to have them all thrown back in my face. 

“Before you point the finger at everyone else, maybe you need to consider that you’re the problem,” she sneers. 

I’d been trying to tell her how overwhelmed I felt, that I felt stuck and couldn’t see a way out. I can feel myself starting to crack under the pressure, pieces of me splintering as I try to be everything for everyone. 

No matter how hard I try, it’s not enough. There’s always something I’m not doing, something not done right. 

‘You’re a failure and a burden,’ that little voice says, harmonising with my mother’s insults.

“I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself,” she says dismissively. 

So much for motherly love… 

————

Later that evening, I’m heading to the River House for a family dinner. These events have become less frequent with everyone’s busy schedules, and I’m looking forward to seeing my friends. 

Rhysand greets me at the door, pulling me into a hug. “Y/N, it’s been too long,” he smiles down at me warmly. “Everyone else is here already, come in.” 

“It’s good to see you, I’ve missed everyone,” I give Rhys a tight smile in return. 

Time appears to stop as we walk down the hallway. The awkwardness drags on for what feels like forever. My thoughts race with things I could say, but my tongue cannot form the words. Rhys notices my silence, furrowing his brows at me. I plaster a huge smile on my face, attempting to conceal my inner turmoil. I can’t tell if Rhys picks up on my forgery. 

We enter the living room which is alive with chatter between my friends. 

Mor, Feyre and Cassian are laughing together, likely about something Cassian said. 

Amren and Nesta are engaged in a heated discussion.

And then Azriel… He’s with Elain, talking softly together about gods knows what. My heart starts to crack at the sight. 

I really don’t want to get between Nesta and Amren, and I can’t face Azriel and Elain together, so I sit next to Cassian as Rhys perches on the arm of the chair beside Feyre. He leans down to kiss her softly on the top of her head and I look away quickly, the crack growing until I feel like my heart is split in two.

Cassian gives me a quick peck on the cheek as I sit before returning to his conversation with Feyre and Mor. 

I struggle to engage with anyone, feeling more alone than ever while surrounded by my chosen family. 

————

The rest of the night is much of the same. 

Every single word is a monumental effort. 

I’m hyper-aware of every single person around the table. Every single smile and hidden touch. I feel as if I’m watching from behind a window. I’m on the outside. Alone.

‘They’ll be fine without you,’ that little voice whispers in my ear. ‘Look how happy they are. They don’t need you. All your efforts are wasted. You are a waste.’

After dinner I bid everyone goodnight, heading up to my room. 

I miss the concerned glances between my friends, who noticed I’ve been extra quiet tonight.

I miss the shadows that follow behind me. 

I miss the way Azriel zones out from what Elain is saying as he watches me leave. 

————

I can’t remember the last time I stayed in this room but all my things remain untouched. Clothing, journals, even some beauty products - all where I left them. 

I pick up one of my old journals and flip through the pages. I mostly write down the bad stuff. It usually helps get the feelings out, but right now, it’s only adding to the storm that’s brewing inside me. 

I carefully set down the books in a stack on my nightstand, picking up a scrap of parchment. As I always do, I write. 

I’m sorry to do this here, tonight, but I cannot go on any longer.  I truly believe this is for the best. The world was not made for people like me. I’m far too soft.  I love you all. Y/N

I set the note down on the bed and rummage through my various medicines. I’ve always struggled to sleep, so I should have some extra tonics in here somewhere… 

I find four bottles of sleeping tonic in one of my drawers, plus the one in my pocket. 

I arrange them on the nightstand in a straight line. 

I pick up the first bottle, uncorking it and raising it in the air. 

A toast, to finding someplace better.

I bring the glass rim to my lips, chugging the clear liquid. 

One down. Just a few more. 

I make short work of the remaining bottles, though I feel a bit queasy from the sheer volume. 

As I set down the last bottle, a wisp of darkness curls around my wrist and snakes between the empty bottles. 

“You’re too late,” I tell it. 

The shadow vanishes and my eyes start to droop. 

I lay down on the bed, my entire body feeling heavy. 

As I feel myself losing the battle for consciousness, a mass of dark shadows appears next to the bed. 

Azriel. 

He is frantic as he reaches towards me. 

So close. He was so close. 

I never get to feel those hands again as the world fades to black and I give myself over to the endless sleep. 

A/N: I’m not gonna lie and say I’m okay when clearly I’m not, but I’m not unsafe tonight. 

Mental Health Resources*:  If you’re in immediate danger please call your country’s emergency number. Australia: Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ Mental Health Hotline: [phone] Lifeline: 13 11 14 USA:  Crisis Line (call or text): 988 UK:  Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 *If I have gotten anything wrong or if you have other resources to add, please let me know

#azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar angst

[slasherx]

Hey 👋🏽

Can you do the Sinclair twins with a female s/o who was like in a relationship before they killed their father and she left town but like years later they found her again and like kidnaped her so they can be together again

Ooo Diablo you always come up with the most scrumptious ideas *rubs hands together evilly*

Content: Bo SInclair x fem!Reader, Vincent SInclair x fem!Reader (separate)

Warnings: Kidnapping, Bo slaps you across the face

Notes: My first time writing Bo and second time writing Vincent...I hope I did okay!

• ───────────────── •

❥Bo Sinclair

Bo found you in a grocery store in the next town over. When had you come back to Louisiana? He remembers the day you broke up with him - you were going out of state to college and didn't want to do long distance with him.

So much has changed since then. He's changed so much since then. He waited for you to check out, then abandoned any cart or food he hand in his hands to follow you out to your car. Luckily you parked in the back so nobody saw him knock you out and drag you to his car, which also coincidentally wasn't far from yours.

Stuffing you in the back seat, he used the seatbelts to tie your hands up and began driving back home. When he arrived there, he called for Vincent to help him bring you in. Vincent was surprised to find you instead of groceries in the backseat. He signed to Bo, "What is this?"

"Well it damn sure ain't groceries, Vince. Now help me get her up to my room."

Vincent cringed at that but decided to help him anyway. He held you by your ankles and Bo held you by your wrists as they brought you upstairs, where Bo promptly tied you to the bed. He shooed Vincent out of his room before sitting next to you.

You looked so peaceful, and in his deranged mind he thought you knew he was with you, and thats why you seemed so peaceful. Smiling, Bo leaned down and kissed your forehead. "Welcome back home, darlin."

You woke up shortly after, in a familiar room, but not one you thought you'd see ever again. It didn't help that Bo was sitting right next to you. "Bo...? What...?"

You tried to move but the restraints wouldn't allow you. The situation settled into your brain - you were in Bo's room, and you couldn't move. The last thing you remember is being at the grocery store, loading your groceries into your car. You had been kidnapped, and Bo was your captor.

"Bo, let me go." You looked at him.

"Sorry sweetheart. I can't really do that."

"Bo let me go now!" You thrashed against your restraints.

"Its no use darlin. I let you go before but, after some careful consideration I realized I never wanna let you go again. So, now you're back here, with me and Vinny and Lester! Ain't that great?" Bo got close to you, a smile spread on his face.

You spat in his face. Bo then promptly slapped you across the face out of reflex. "Now darlin I'm sorry for slappin you, but you need to re-learn some manners it seems. College ruined you, but it's okay. I'm a patient man, we can figure this out."

"What are you talking about?" You looked up at him, tears in your eyes.

"I'm talking about how you're mine forever. Your place is here, in Ambrose, beside me. I want no other woman, Y/n." Bo caressed your face.

"You're fucking crazy."

"For you." Bo smiled again.

• ───────────────── •

❥Vincent Sinclair

Bo had called for him from the upstairs level, something he rarely does unless there's people. Begrudgingly he left his sketchbook on the table and came upstairs.

"I got somethin for you." Bo grinned. "I think you'll really like it."

His brother led him out to his truck, and when he opened the back seat, he saw a person laying there. But not just any person, it was you. You who he had lost when your family decided to move out of Ambrose years ago.

He never forgot you. In fact, he hadn't been with anyone else since you had left. He'd always had a feeling you would come back. But, he felt bad that this was how you'd been brought back to him. He had hoped the attraction would open up Ambrose again and you would come back, just like you said you would.

He signed a thank you to Bo and immediately started to pull you out of his truck. Bo watched quizzically, not bothering to help just yet. When Vincent had pulled you out of the truck, he didn't account for your upper half and you promptly slid to the ground.

Bo hissed between his teeth. "That's gonna hurt. Need some help getting her downstairs?"

Vincent nodded, and the brothers uncharacteristically worked together to bring you downstairs. Bo helped tie you up to his bed and then gave Vincent a pat on the back. "Do what you want with her, but wrap it up, if you know what I mean."

Vincent rolled his eye at his brothers implications. Bo just patted his shoulder and then turned to leave. As he left, you stirred. Opening your eyes, you looked around. You were in a familiar place, but not a place you'd been to in some years.

Seeing movement, your eyes focused onto the man before you. You instantly recognized him. "Vincent?"

He nodded. You moved to try to hug him, but the restraints kept you in place. You then realized what was happening. You had been kidnapped, and Vincent was keeping you here. Your expression turned sad. You never thought your Vinny could be capable of something like this.

"Vinny..."

"Its okay," he signed. "I'll take care of you, and you don't have to do anything in return."

"Take care of me? Vinny, this isn't a permanent thing, I have to get back to my family."

"You are family. You are mine. I won't let you go again. Ever." He got closer to you as he signed.

"Vincent, you cannot keep me here forever." You tried to keep your soft tone but you were beginning to freak out as the reality set in.

"Watch me."

• ───────────────── •

Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!

#slashers #slashers x reader #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x you #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #house of wax #house of wax 2005

[mistercathat]

could you maybe write something on xanthus, kayson, or isaac comforting their partner? i feel like they’d have interesting methods hehe~

(ʏᴏᴜ) ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀʀᴍ - ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴘʟᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ☆

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴄʟᴀɪʙᴏʀɴᴇ, ᴋᴀʏꜱᴏɴ ᴍᴀʏᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ʀʜᴏᴀᴅᴇꜱ.

i did this in headcanon form if that’s alright lovely <3 i couldn’t decide on who to write for so i did them all :)) !

gender neutral reader as always :)

tw/cw: none!

xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴄʟᴀɪʙᴏʀɴᴇ ･ ｡ﾟ☆ -

• would detect straight away if your feeling upset or a little down (from the bond of course, and he’s a vampire :33 )

• would definitely be the type to quietly ask “are you alright love?” or “what’s the matter?”

• would listen to EVERY word, and i mean EVERYTHING.

• if it was about your feelings, he’d hold your hand while listening and then slowly pull you into a hug, wrapping one arm around your back and the other on your head, rubbing up and down to soothe you.

• if it was about your body / or dysmorphia, he would be the type to kiss gently across the parts where your feeling insecure, and then seal it off with a kiss, to make sure you know he’s being truthful (would probably give you a hug again lol)

• if you were to cry, i feel like a part of him would be upset too. he can’t bear to see you cry.

• would hold your face and wipe away your tears while shushing you, looking gently into your eyes and smiling softly.

• if you needed to cry onto his shoulder, he’d gladly let you, letting you take all the time you need. he knows humans are fragile and need to let out their emotions every once in a while.

• would NOT CARE if you got his shirt soggy, as long as you are feeling better that’s all that matters.

• if you didn’t want to talk or just wasn’t in the mood, BUT still wanted comfort, he’d beckon you to lie down with him on his chest, arms wrapped tightly around you, and draw soothing circles onto your palms slowly.

• wouldn’t mind at all about the silence if that’s what you wanted, he’d probably end up listening to your breathing or heartbeat the whole time anyway <33

˗ˋˏ°• ᴋᴀʏꜱᴏɴ ᴍᴀʏᴇʀ -

• now we’ve already seen him comfort listener a few times in his audios, but i’m gonna list headcanons anyway 🙏

• he’d probably detect it straight away, but not say anything until he’s aware you know that HE knows that your off.

• he’d probably drop hints throughout the day, like silently rubbing circles into your knuckles while holding your hand, or asking “are you alright?”

• would wait until you get home to ask you what’s wrong, as he doesn’t want to panic you in a public space.

• if you were venting and suddenly burst into tears while speaking, he’d pull you in and let you sit on his lap, stroking your hair and gently rocking you back and fourth to calm you down.

• would sit there ALL day listening to you, he just wants you to be happy :((

• if the issue was something he could do about it, he’d get involved and help you sort it out (if that makes sense 🗣️)

• if not, he’d hold your hands and tell you that things will get better, and that it will all work out in the end ❤️‍🩹

• again, would be the type to not care how long you cry, it’s better out than in. he’d wait forever for you, as long as your okay in the end :))

ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ʀʜᴏᴀᴅᴇꜱ + *.☽ .* -

• he’d be SO concerned, he’d probably think something huge has happened.

• he’d probably be the dense type that wouldn’t really know what to do.

• if he caught you crying, he’d probably sort of ask questions quickly like “what happened? are you alright? did something happen?”

• poor man is traumatised ☹️

• he’d listen intently, understanding you straight away. he’d probably say things like “i get it.” or “i understand what your feeling.” to try and comfort you more.

• if you wanted a hug, would probably wrap his arms around you, guide your head to his shoulder, and sort of pat you gently on the back ? (he’s trying his best)

• if you were crying onto him, he’d probably whisper things like “it’s okay.” and “it will be fine.”

• would probably ask again if anything has happened, just to make sure.

• if you wanted to stay with him, i don’t think he’d mind sort of cuddling on the couch with you nuzzled into him, just enjoying his presence.

• during this he’d probably put his hand on your head and very slowly stroke your hair.

• would probably make you a drink like a cup of tea or some juice after to hydrate you, and to make you feel better :))

• he’s trying his best okay <33

hi hi i hope this was okay :-)) ive never done headcanons before so this was sort of new for me so im sorry if this is a bit ‘rough’. also this isn’t proof read so please tell me if there are any mistakes <33

requests are open! thank you for reading <33

- jude 🌱

#zsakuva #zsakuvafandom #zsakuvaxreader #sakuverse #xanthusclaiborne #kaysonzsakuva #isaacrhoades

[kirarisoul]

my ‘boyfriend’

quackity x reader

summary: you think your father will disapprove of your boyfriend, alex. so, he comes up with a plan.

i was thinking of 2019/18 alex while writing this! enjoy 😙

///

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T LIKE ME?!” is screamed through the phone by your boyfriend, making you pull it away from your ear, to prevent yourself from losing hearing.

“I don’t know.. he just.. isn’t.. fond of you?”

“but why? i’m so cute and handsome and sexy!”

“I think it’d be weirder if my dad thought you were sexy, babe.”

you hear him huff into the other side of the phone and know that’s your cue to comfort him.

“he’ll come around eventually, alex! he’s not gonna stop me from seeing you!”

“i know, i know, but.. how did he even form this horrible preconception of me?” he says, dramatically. you can practically see him with his hand over his heart in mock despair.

“well, i thought i’d ease him into it, and i put a stream of yours on the tv, it was that one, where you looked all cute with your little hat and thanos toy an-“

“yeah, yeah, i know what one you’re talking about.” you can hear the happy smile in his voice from your description of him.

“anyways, he didn’t have very good feelings towards you. he said you were loud and that streaming isn’t a proper job.. i didn’t even tell him i knew you yet.” you sigh into the phone.

“it is a job!? tell him i’m gonna go to law school as well!”

“i did tell him! he just.. couldn’t look past the streaming i guess. and he still doesn’t know we’re dating.”

“then tell him! you can’t hide me forever, baby.” he says smugly.

“yeah i will but.. he wants you to come for dinner. tonight. and if he sees it’s you i dunno what he’ll do! he has a temper, y’know.”

“hm.. wait.. i have an idea..” he says.

“what?”

///

“so, you’re my daughters boyfriend?” your dad asks one of the two boys waiting outside the door of your house, looming over them.

“y-yes sir..” the boy next to alex says.

“and you are?” your dad turns to alex.

“his friend.” alex smiles.

“alright.. why are you here?”

“..moral support?” alex says, pulling on his sleeves nervously.

a pause.

“oh, come in, come in, boys!” your mom says from behind your father.

///

the silence at the dinner table is deafening. it’s your father at the head of the table, your mother on his left, and your ‘boyfriend’ on his right. next to your ‘boyfriend’ is alex, your boyfriend.

you lean in.

“this is your plan?” you whisper yell into alex’s ear.

“babe, trust me, it’ll work.”

“who the fuck is that?!”

“it’s my friend, lucas. he’s interning at a hospital, and he’s top of the class in every subject, your dad’ll love him.”

“okay, he’s not my boyfriend though! you are! he’s gonna find out soon enough.”

“just relax. i just wanna see how your dad really is before i show who i really am!”

“you’re gonna reveal yourself at this dinner? are you crazy? he’ll hate you even more!”

“it’s okay! it’ll go good, im charming, he’ll come around eventually.”

a kick from under the table shakes it, making the water in the jug ripple.

“ow!” alex whispers.

“you’re stupid. this is stupid.”

“hey i-!”

as everyone on the table watches silently at this whisper argument, your mom speaks up.

“let’s eat, shall we?” she says with a smile and your father uncrosses his arms and picks up his fork.

“so,” your father starts. “what’s your name?” he says to who he thinks is your boyfriend.

“lucas. sir. it’s lucas.”

“okay, lucas, do you have a job for the summer?”

“i-i have an internship. sir. in a hospital. the lab. in the hospital.” he says, in short sentences as if he’s trying to convince himself about the internship as well.

“okay.. and how are your grades?”

“good. sir.”

“alright. what are your future plans. how will you support my daughter? not that i expect this to last.”

“dad!” you slam your fork down.

“i-i wanna be a doctor. sir.” lucas says, his voice shaking.

“a doctor, that’s amazing!” your mom exclaims, sensing lucas’ nervousness.

lucas nods and smiles.

“you know, she was showing me this guy, around your age, that streams and makes videos online. i would never let my daughter date someone like that, with no future plans.” your dad laughs.

alex plays with his food.

you grip your fork.

///

dinner goes on in a tension so thick you could pick up your knife and cut a hole in it.

you speak up. “babe, can you pass me the salt?”

two hands reach for the salt shaker. lucas freezes and alex, oblivious, passes you the salt and goes back to eating. you father puts his glass down.

“what was that.” your father waves his hand around to gesture to the scene that just unfolded in front of him.

“dad i-“

alex looks up slowly as he realises his mistake.

“alex is my boyfriend!” you blurt out. “not lucas. the guy i showed you online is alex. he makes videos and streams but he’s really smart! and h-“

your dad laughs, “who-whose idea was that?!” he says in between breaths.

“why are you laughing dad?! this is serious!!” you yell.

then lucas laughs, then your mom laughs, and finally, alex starts laughing.

“why are you guys laughing? stop laughing!” you stand up and your chair screeches.

alex grabs your hand. “babe- babe! sit down!” he takes a breathe in between laughs. “it’s fine!”

you cross your arms as everyone laughs die down.

“honey, it’s okay. if you love him, i think that’s all that matters.” your mom says.

you look at your mom and nod, “dad?”

“if you love him and he loves you. i don’t see a problem.” you dad says, smiling at you and then looking at alex.

“so you’re the boyfriend?” your dad says to alex, and leans forward, ready to do his interrogations all over again.

///

#qsmp x reader #quackity #quackity angst #quackity fic #quackity fluff #quackity x reader #quackity x reader angst #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackity imagine #quackity imagines #qsmp #alexis quackity #alex quackity #alex quackity x reader #alexis quackity x reader

[lovearthur]

Hi could you write about Hosea helping GN!Reader getting comfortable in camp? Like platonically, such as a scenario of reader living with the Van Der Linde gang after their family passed, etc? Thanks!💞 (Side note; I love your blog sm!)

𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

𝓑𝓔𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔 𝓨𝓞𝓤 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓓! gn! reader . shy reader if u squint . u dont know who the vdl gang is,, sorry . u try to steal from hosea but fail miserably . not proofread as usual lol

u were stricken with grief. grief, confused and most of all, u were vulnerable. really vulnerable.

after ur parents passed, life got duller and more gloomy. u had no idea what to do with urself. yes u have some friends but none of them were that close to u and so u had no one. no one at all. life only got worst after ur family home was set alight, leaving u alone forever. if only ur father didn't mess that gang...

and now u were now walking through a town. valentine it was called. u weren't sure why u were even here. its not like u had any money but u were starving by now. some people gave u weird looks but u ignored them, having bigger problems to deal with. then u noticed a two men walk into one of the saloons, one had hair black as the nightsky, he was nice dressed. the cigar hanging out his mouth added to his charismatic image. the other had hair silver as jewellery u would see in thos fancy, high society stores, he was dressed in a similar way, seemingly they were good friends. u weren't raised up properly but u also needed some money.

surely he wouldn't see u thieving, would he?

u followed them into the saloon and stayed close behind to make sure they didn't see u. to ur loving hope, it was busy, so there was no way they could see u.. knowing what u were about to do. they got comfortable quickly as the black-haired gentleman ordered drinks for themselves. u subtly began to walk around, stepping closer and closer to them, u were sure u could rob the older man, he may be slow in agility unlike u. u were a quick thinker and yet ur heart was pounding. u weren't a thief but a good person.

ur heart only continued beating quicker and quicker, as ur hand got closer to the money clip that was tucked into the gun holster of the man then u did it. finally u had some money to buy urself some good food. u quickly moved past, making ur way to the exit door that was across the room, closing the door behind u as a sigh of relief left ur body. u tucked it in ur shirt pocket before u walked around to the side of the building to blend in with the public once more. suddenly, u were hit with a problem.

the two men. the older man that u stole from, although he didn't look upset. u almost felt ur heart drop at the sight of them, only now that they looked very intimidating. much more intimidating, noticing the guns holstered at their hips. u quickly took the clip of money out ur shirt pocket and threw it on their direction and he caught it with no problem. he was about to say something before the older man gave him a stern look before looking back at u.

“'m sorry for stealin', not gonna ever do it again but just- please dont kill me.” u say, keeping ur gaze on them. u were terrified. u didn't mean it, it was just an impulse move, u were hungry! and yet, they didn't do anything. didn't take our guns or react in a threatening manner, yet u still felt nervous. the older man picked up the money clip while the black-haired gentleman spoke. “don't you have somewhere to go, dear? a home or family?” the other man said and u shook ur head. “my parents passed away. 'nd my home was burnt down by some gang. got nothin' 'nd no one. just me.” u replied, keeping ur guard up. they looked at each other other, talking through the gaze of their eyes. they were the window to the soul as one would say. the older man looked at u. “... you're welcome to come with us, miss. just till you're back on your feet 'nd ye decide what u want to do.”

⠀ ⠀⠀꒰ྀིㅤㅤ ಿㅤ　﹒　　 ׅ 　ㅤׂ　　 ݃　　♱

and so here u are. being taken to their camp. u were on a horse, ur arms rested on the hips of the other man, dutch was his name. the one u stole from, his name was hosea. they both seemed nice enough but as u got closer u heard more chatter and nice scent of some food cooking which gave u a little hope. but what u mostly hoped for is that they all like u.

once the three of u were there, dutch was kind enough to help u down first, u murmured a small “thank you, mr van der linde.” which earned a smile from him. dutch and hosea both hitched off their horses. “if anyone gives trouble which they shouldn't, come me to or dutch.” hosea says, giving u a kind gaze. u nodded at his words “thank u, mr matthews.”

u mostly kept to urself, for now anyway. sitting by the outskirts of the camp, mourning and grieving about ur parents and ur home. u just.. couldn't believe it, u were in still in mere shock, to be honest. brushing u away from ur thoughts, u heard some footsteps coming towards u which caused u to look up, hosea. he hands you a bowl of stew which u were so relieved about, u were so scared to get it urself being in a such a strange place.

hosea sat beside u as u thanked him, he looks at u. “sorry about your family, miss. [name].” u looked at him before u took a bite. “... thank you for not.. killin' me” he nodded slightly, shifting a little. “could tell you're not the type to be a thief. was more worried about dutchh taking it not too kindly. im not like that, either.” he says softly, like he was trying to make u more comfortable being here, which u appreciated. “thank you, anyway. means a lot.” after some silence feel between the two of u, an older woman came to u both, ms. grimshaw. “miss [name]. ive putcha with the girls, hope thats alright with you.” she states and u nodded quickly at her words. “yes, thank you, ms. grimshaw.” u replied with a small smile.

this might finally been the good u so prayed for. ur life before was so dark, so filled with ur sadness, ur longing to be hugged by ur parents just once more, like the small child u once were.

hosea showed the way to the girls wagon, where u would be sleeping beside 3 girls. “go rest now, [name]. these girls will make sure you're okay.” those girls were karen, tilly and mary-beth. u were nervous at first, mot sure if they were going to accept a stranger but they did. tilly was the first girl to welcome u, tell everyone's names, who to talk to and who to avoid.

what a warm welcome from a gang of outlaws.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr #red dead redemption #hosea matthews #dutch van der linde #van der linde gang

[cxttlefishcxller]

𝟸𝟶 𝚀𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜

I was tagged literal days ago by @residentdormouse and honestly I'm the worst at remembering anything ever sO here we are again, lads jfkdl;safd but yE BIG THANK for the tag, let's see what kind of shenanigans I can get into

How many works do you have on AO3?

Five so far, none of them finished jfkdl;safd soon to be six, if I can get the rest of this damn chapter finished for Serenade's second iteration >.>;;;

What is your total AO3 word count?

57,252! Which is honestly more than I thought it was

What fandoms do you write for?

Man, what don't I write about? -ba dum tss- But for published works, it's primarily The Stand, with some IT thrown in, then there's Undertale, Gravity Falls, and Fallout. But I promise you if I like it, I've either written something or thought VERY HARD about writing something about it.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

This is easy, there's only 5 total fjdkla;sf but it'd have to go 1: Between Iron and Silver (an Undertale AU) at 22 2: La Petite Mort (a Fallout 3 blurb from ye olde k-meme days) at 17 3: Don't Fear The Reaper (A Gravity Falls zombie AU) at 14 4: Second Lead Serenade (My primary Stand fic that's getting a sERIOUS overhaul) at a whopping 3 5: Shine On You Crazy Diamond (an AU of my Stand AU only now there's Pennywise) at 2

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yES I try to every time! Sometimes I miss them though jfkdls;fd but I'm but a small hobbit that thrives off of validation, I adore every comment I get

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

UHM. Well, technically I haven't finished a gotdam thing yet, but it'd either have to be the Fallout one (which involves the MC slowly turning into a ghoul due to radioactive necrosis) or a pseudo-canon-maybe ficlet blurb thing I'm currently working on for Serenade involving a day in Teddy's perfect world, seemingly no-pocalypse centric, until you realize that he's not in some apartment he shares with his beloved girlfriend Piper, but trapped inside of his own mind by Flagg after being shot by Nadine.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, bold of you to assume I've got an ending on anything I write. But I'd have to say that the happiest ending I have PLANNED would actually be for Shine On. It's running along the plot of the IT remake, so the ending will have (potentially) all of our beloved Boulderites having their happily ever afters with the people they care about most.

Do you get hate on your fic?

My dear sweet anonymous reader, that would require for someone to actually read said fics. XD No for real though, everyone that's commented, friend and stranger alike, has been SO SO SWEET. I'm so grateful. No hate yet, but I'm sure I'd feel like I really made it as a writer if I ever did.

Do you write smut?

I used to! I used to write the SHIT out of some smut! But it seems like the older I get the more I worry about it being good, by whatever arbitrary unit of measurement someone may have, and then I just clam up and fade to black instead jfkd;lsafd I hope to regain my teenaged confidence someday.

Do you write crossovers?

The further I can get from canon, the better, as far as my brainworms are concerned! I only have one OFFICIAL crossover, but if y'all could see some of the bullshit I have in my giant stack of spiral notebooks, you'd probably be very concerned.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! At least I'm not sure why anyone WOULD. I only ever get a set amount of chapters into something before I'm spontaneously updating every few years like some literary cryptid.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Ohhhhmygoodness the memories. Passing notebooks back and forth in between classes to work on chunks of fics. Co-authoring Google Docs in back-and-forth narrative-laden pseudo-RPs. So, SO many Picrews. If my old laptops' data banks could talk. The stories they'd tell. In short, it's been a REALLY FUCKING LONG TIME but I had such fun with it. I'd love to do it again sometime. XD

What's your all-time favorite ship?

AUGH. UHM. If we're going for something in media I enjoy, I have so so many, but if I HAD to pick one at gunpoint it'd have to be Clarice/Hannibal. From like the OG book series. My poor friend group has already had to listen to me scream about subtext and discrepancies between media, so I'll spare the spiel but they're wonderful together and I'll die on that hill.

For stuff I'VE written? Teddy and Piper. TedPipes. ScreenPlay. My babies, my lovelies, my adorable idiots that can't quit pining long enough or can't quit fighting impending disaster long enough to realize they're already practically dating. I've written so much about them. I'll probably continue writing so much about them. I can't be stopped. jfkdl;asfd

Also for stuff I HAVEN'T written but exists in fic anyway, I'd have to go with both BirdBrains (Harold Lauder and Caktus' OC Crow) and HayGlen (Glen Bateman and Mouse's OC Hayden) because like. Have y'all seen them. HAVE YOU. Go see them. They're so so good.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them wELL that's a tough one because like. I bounce between ideas so much that it's hard to tell when I'll pick up a plot or drop a plot out of rotation only to pick it back up a year or three later. But if I had to pick one, Iron and Silver hasn't been updated since shortly after the pandemic started, and I really wish I could pick up steam on it again. I had a huge plan for it, and a serious amount of worldbuilding and backstory, but I just can't pick up the knack for it again. At least, not yet. I'm sure I'll come back to it eventually.

What are your writing strengths?

I've always been fond of my character development! I can't ever tell if I execute it well in practice, but in THEORY I have a good grasp of where a character starts and where I want them to end, and a significant chunk of what they go through to get there. I love Big Emotion. I love Introspective Pain. I love the silent struggle of Being Known. It's deLICIOUS, I keep working it into everything I write fjkdsa;fd

What are your writing weaknesses?

A: Follow-through. I have the Can't Finish Stuff disease. B: MOTHERFUCKING. ACTION SCENES. I can't get the pacing right! It feels too stilted or too flat, either too much detail or not enough with no happy medium. People who can write action scenes are glorious unicorns and I'm love them

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Wayyyyyyyy not confident enough to try it. I only know some basic phrases in Spanish, and some even more rudimentary phrases in Korean, and several swear words in a small handful of other languages. Definitely not enough to work with. I'm sure I'd manage to either do it wrong or end up unintentionally being insensitive. I'm a much bigger fan of just using italics to denote if someone's using another language instead, but that's a personal choice jfkdl;sa

First fandom you wrote for?

Labyrinth! To no one's surprise ever It was a horrible monstrosity of a trope-filled nightmare written in a Family Guy notebook in pure frigging pencil. I was also in the 6th grade. I wish I had Teenage Fef's shameless ability to write whatever the fuck she wanted. She was cringe but She was Free

Favorite fic you've ever written?

So far, Serenade is the one I've put the most thought into, and the one I'm having the most fun planning! Iron and Silver cuts a CLOSE second though; for the very same reasons, but I'm loving having the added fun of such indulgent friends helping me keep the Stand Wormies alive by hyping me up. XD

I also cast OPEN TAG! It does 6d4 Writing Damage. But if y'all want to, I'm also tagging @beyondthetemples-ooc, @jaiesondurantkross and @caktusjuice-draws in a totally no-pressure-ever tag <3

#fef writes #or really just talks about writing forever #it's my greatest strength after all instead of actually writing #but also thank you for the tag this was fun fjkdls;afd #I promise to actually write something sometime maybe #If I can ever figure out how to finish the first chapter of Serenade/Wanderlust and finally move on to the Actual Fucking Plot

[mattodore]

pay attention to theo’s beautiful face and not whatever matthias’s arm is doing... i liked the lighting more here than against the wall

#these are the last screenshots i wanted to edit from the ones i took on the 22nd and had been slowly editing throughout the week #will finally be putting mattodore in their thirties to rest 🙏⚰️ #river dipping #echthroi #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #a burning house to live in #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #ended up not doing much to these screenshots tbh… i was so into the audiobook i was listening to i kinda just. stared at the wall a lot... #my brain was telling me this wasn’t worth posting bc i’ve done so many mattodore edits recently and this isn’t anything different but. #like i did actually spend a few hours with these edits so. on one hand i’m like this isn’t really anything #but on the other hand i’m like. well they’re my ocs whom i love dearly and i’ll probably enjoy looking back at this #the same way i do all my other recent edits which i open my own blog up to stare at like. multiple times in a day #obsessed atm…….. #anyway. #god… matthias is so huge he always takes up so much space i’m constantly having to crop him out of edits 😭 #and these are poses that weren’t even made from me…. so he’s not even at his full 6’3’’ height and size like 😭😭😭 #he distracted me but that aside... i'm waiting for my game to open up atm so i can get back to tweaking alessandria's sim #her face is gonna take me forever................................. #ik i don't talk about my other ocs on here much anymore but alessandria is my third favorite oc (mattodore obviously being my top two) #so... i'm seriously gonna agonize over every update i make for them now kjdhknjf #ocs with tragic backstories save me................... #i’ll probably spend a few hours with alessandria in cas and then i’m going back to google docs to write more abt mattodore

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc. #ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj) #I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** *** #< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol) #(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me) #BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you? #:0c

[arsenicflame]

ive had to step away from all the analysis of the finale because thinking about it for too long it fills me with such a [rage? bitterness? frustration? all of the above?] the likes of which ive genuinely never felt for a show before

ive cared about media before. ive been disappointed by media before, but i think the difference is i haven't put my faith in media like i did ofmd- and the more time passes the more i feel fucking stupid for putting that faith in the show in the first place, when so many of the things coming to light now were already there

i cant think about it too long else it makes me so fucking sad, and im tired of analysing it to bits because its not going to change anything, theres no way to fix any of this, no way to find a spark of light in it, no way to come back, to resurrect the show i fucking loved.

im sure everything everyone is saying is well thought out and nuanced things but for the sake of my own enjoyment of this fucking show i have to just not engage with it anymore.

#the last post was the exception to this and its only bc that segment of the interview was directly on my feed #like im sorry if you followed me for my serious takes and now youre getting silly goofy dude #but not taking this media too seriously is the only way im coping rn #ikyk ive talked your ears off about my relationship with fucking show and the fandom in the past month but. but #nyxtalks #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd critical #like. the serangela break up Sucks and i could yell about it forever #but in the end i dont think i really went in having faith that marvel wouldnt fuck it up #and thats the difference here for me #the faith i did put in. and the way i see how that i shouldnt have #ill still complain. but i dont have the energy to read them or try and write them in a way thats in any way fact checked or nuanced i just #i need to complain but i need to keep my love for this fucking show i. need to #again. ikyk. so. silly hours. ignoring s2 hours. making up that fictional man hours. i gotta #also please enjoy nyx tries to label an emotion and fails

[trans-oberon]

anyways here's my take on a summer caenis that DOESN'T give me insane second-hand dysphoria 👍 got rid of his noodle arms while i was at it

#fate grand order #fgo #caenis #caeneus #edits #listen the way fgo treats trans characters is just. UGH. #i absolutely don't want to take anything away from other trans people who DO identify with some aspect of their portrayal!! it's just. #imo Don't Put The Transmascs In Bikinis should be like rule number 1 of writing trans characters lmao #and i dont even feel qualified to talk about the transfem characters. astolfo d'eon da vinci im so sorry for everything forever #...btw if you REALLY don't agree please just block me. i am a working adult and we both have better things to do with our time (-_-)👍 #mmkay rant over. anyway i didnt give caenis any bulge but im sure all you freaky fellows out there can use your imaginations.

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways. #THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever.. #this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good. #it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen) #also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard. #whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!! #when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :( #but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah. #god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG..... #i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which - #- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall....... #FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

[iamthecomet]

Comet my dear, do you have any aethshine thoughts you would like to share? I am Thinking about them and thought, perhaps, you would like to as well. 😌

Dearest Miasma, I'm sure I can conjure up some thoughts (I am plagued with thoughts). 650ish words of Aether/Sunshine musings. Not quite ficlet, definitely not just headcanons. Some angst (of the missing their packmates variety). More smut. They just love each other a lot ok!? Transfem Sunny because I said so.

With the rest of the pack gone, the ghoul wing is eerie. Sunshine's never seen it like this. Impossibly quiet. So many doors shut, rooms sealed off. Sure if she wanted to she could open Cirrus' door, slip in. Bury her face in the the blankets and pillows and clothes left behind. She could sleep in a different empty bed every night. Drift off to the smell of her missing packmates. She doesn't though, doesn't have to. Aether's with her. Noise carries differently when they're the only two in this part of the Abbey. Like a room with all the furniture moved out. The television drones, and she can hear it down the hall. Distant mumbling. When Aether's in his room, playing guitar, humming a tune she can hear him like he's next to her. They spend a lot of time together. Neither of them talk about it, but the emptiness of their home has seeped into the chambers of their hearts too. Bittersweet and aching with each video call where Cumulus pans the phone around so Sunshine can see the Eifle Tower lit up against the sky. Or when she can hear Aether and Dew talking through the walls. Dew's voice terse as he complains about everything except what's really bothering him. Sunshine slips into Aether's room once she's sure he's off the phone. Once they've both exchanged their good nights with their pack, halfway across the world. Sometimes they talk. Curled up together on Aether's big bed. TV on some show they've seen a hundred times. Voices hushed like there is someone they might wake up. Sometimes, Aether pulls her close. Kisses the breath from her lungs. Hands sunk into her curls as he holds her where he needs her. Thumbs pressed against the base of her horns, tongue sweeping over her teeth. She's glad it's Aether. Has been since they both announced their retirement independently of each other. Grateful not to be alone and glad it's him. Steady, devoted, Aether. Who only has to look at her to understand. Who will sit with her at the piano in their empty rehersal room and sing. Who lets her tag along on his infirmary shifts when she can't sleep. Aether who has good book reccomendations and makes sure Sunshine never gets bored enough to really feel how much she misses everyone else.

Aether, who knows exactly how to touch her to shut her mind off. Who holds her with confidence, knows she won't break as he presses her down into the mattress. Slips one hand into the waistband of her leggings and another up, under he crop top to cup a small breast in his giant hand. calloused fingers dragging over a pebbling nipple. Aether feels like home when he touches her. Even when it's rough and desperate. Even when he has both of their cocks in his fist, dragging the heads together, making her vision fuzzy at the edges. Even when he's three fingers deep inside of her, scissoring her open, pressing against spots that make her feel like she's going to cave in on herself.

Pleasure bowls over her, over and over again. His teeth pressed to her pulse. Breath huffed out in sharp pants over her sweat slick skin. Pressing in as deep as he can go, making her feel the way he carves out a place inside of her, his hand pressed firm over hers on her belly so she can feel him fucking her. There is no difference between this and the times when they move slower. When Aether presses his mouth to every inch of exposed skin on her body. When she does the same, grazing teeth over the swell of his belly, the cushion of his thighs. When I love yous are whispered freely. Either way, when she cums under Aether's gaze, it feels like going home.

#comet writes #miasma ♥ #ficlet #ish #Aether Ghoul #Sunshine Ghoulette #Aether/Sunshine #I could talk about them forever #but this is going to have to be good enough for now #ghost fic #ghost fanfic #ghost headcanons #nameless ghoul headcanons #ghost band fic #ghost band fanfiction #I don't know man the metaphors and flowery poetry language really just got away from me tonight