#or if it's because im feeling so damn empty from getting on a dating app after being rejected by said ex crush | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shhhlikeme · 4 years

Note

I ALMOST NEVER SEE ANYONE WRITE ABOUT ARAN SO IM JUMPING IN- ;-; Can I ask for his girl helping him relieve some stress, massaging him and his hands then just a nice cuddle session after..? also Ive been shy to hop in but hi you're pretty and Id love to be friends with you ;-;

UMMM A BIG ACCOUNT LIKE YOURS THAT JUST REACHED 1.25K followers (congrats beb!!) peeps my work ?? And compliments me + gave me my first Aran requestttt ?!

*faints*

I feel like this is a proposal and the answer is YES boo 💍🥰 friendssss 🥺🤗

Anyway I hope you like it newest friend💞

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Some Aran Ojiro x Reader Romance 😩🌹

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you and your boyfriend Aran haven’t been able to see eachother much in the past year at all

He just made the Japan National Team which meant he was practicing and travelling all the time

You two keep up with nightly Facetime dates every night which is great but he almost always falls asleep on you in the first 20 minutes

sleepy muffin that we love so much

You don’t blame him considering his training regimen.

When he wakes up he’s literally talking your ear off apologizing because he feels like a shit boyfriend for falling asleep every time

“I did it again and I know you say it’s fine but it’s not. I’m so sorry Y/N. When I get home, I promise I’ll make it up to you baby girl, I promise. Have a great day Queen and remember I’ll be home to spoil you in 10 days. You’re not ready. I love you! Peace!”

As you lay in your empty bed the next morning, you just smile at the video of him apologizing to you while he is running around his hotel room to get ready for morning practice

Your man works so hard but he never fails to make sure he’s the first thing you see when you wake up and the last person you see before you fall asleep. It’s endearing

He is super super busy being a professional athlete but that doesn’t stop him from making you feel special in the little and big ways

Sometimes, he orders you breakfast or dinner from your favourite brunch or sushi spot that you two like to go to so that he can put a smile on your face when he’s travelling

All he asks in return is a cute selfie of you in your pjs and messy bun with the food and that is the only thank you he needs

Seriously send it though or he’ll spam your phone lol

Can I tell you a funny story related to your mans sweet foodie gestures?

Okay so One random night last weekend.....

You heard a knock on the door of your condo and you quickly paused your Netflix movie to dust the popcorn crumbs off Aran’s t-shirt you were wearing

You opened the door excitedly thinking it might be another Uber Eats surprise from your boyfriend but instead you see a grumpy looking Osamu standing in the delivery guys place

“Your boyfriend is annoying.” Osamu deadpanned as he glanced at you once before letting himself in.

“Uh, Nice to see you.....too, Osamu-san.”

Samu murmured something in response grumpily and went over to your kitchen island to place down a large brown paper bag.

“Stupid professional volleyball playing friend and brother,” He muttered under his breath. You watched him take out lots of food from his restaurant from your spot by the door, by the look (and amazing smell) of it the bag was packed with all your favourites. You were thrilled even though the grey haired boy in your kitchen wasn’t.

“Look at me! I’m Aran. My stupid Uber Eats app won’t work from mutant-spider Australia so instead of just chilling like a normal person I call and beg my very handsome and very successful restaurant-owner friend to make my girlfriend all her favourite dishes and drive them over in the middle of a rain storm. A rain storm!”

You held your ground back at the door (knowing good and well not to get in the way of Samu when he was in one of his signature bitchy moods) as a smile crept on your face. It felt like someone was squeezing your heart as you watched Osamu comfortably rummage through your cabinets and find your dishes. He plated your food beautifully like the professional chef he is, all while mumbling angrily under his breath about his quote unquote “Simp of a best friend.”

When he was done with the food, Osamu also pulled out a bottle of your favourite wine from his restaurant that only Aran knows about and poured you a glass perfectly, swaying the liquid around first to make sure it was rich. Satisfied but still annoyed, Osamu cleaned his restaurant’s paper bag contents away and then walked over to your spot on the couch to take a handful of popcorn. Still a grump, he met you back at the door.

Samu looked down at you with the irritated expression you’ve become accustomed to over the years.

“Aran also told me to give you this.” He deadpanned before leaning down to kiss the top off your head then left. You smiled, unable to stop bubbling over in giggles because you knew Aran just added that to annoy his affection-challenged best friend. You poked your head out to the hallway of your condo building, seeing Osamu’s retreating figure you sang:

“Thank you, Samuuuuuu! 🎶”

Effectively adding to his annoyance just like your boyfriend would have wanted you to.

Without looking back, Osamu just lifted up a cool peace sign that your boyfriend and the two brothers were notorious for.

That trio, man.

dinner that night was the best you’ve had in forever

Not only was it delicious but

You realized that very night that your boyfriend was the most remarkable human in the world and you didn’t deserve him

You checked your phone as you sipped your wine because you received several texts from your boy asking where his picture of you eating is and also asking how funny Samu’s reaction was

You giggled as you read the text and then you had an idea! 💡

You put down your phone and quickly changed into some lacy lingerie for the picture:

Your boyfriend always asked for simple ‘rates PG’ pics because he loved to see you bare faced and wearing his big clothes. It was so cute to him.

he would make each new picture you sent his two backgrounds on his phone and he relished in the fact that you were so beautiful when you didn’t try

You knew this, but you also knew that your man deserved a little ‘sumn sumn’ for making tonight so special for you 😉

You put on a little sultry makeup to go with your sexy number and went back to the kitchen to your food and wine

You took a much sexier picture than he would ever expect

Actually you chose to send him a boomerang:

one of your hair slightly disheveled and your tits basically out despite the lacy cover. You pressed the wine glass to your red lips and winked in the boomerang, wiggling your hips ever so seductively

•••

in a luxurious hotel in Australia, your stunning boyfriend just finished his shower in his hotel room

He dried his face with a towel and opened his iMessage app on his phone... effectively ignoring the:

“🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼it’s done.🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼”

text from his best friend Osamu and clicking your name instead

Aran swiped left on his phone hoping to see another cute picture of his girlfriend being sent to him that makes his day the brightest but what he actually sees instead almost makes him drop his phone out of his wet hands

No Deadass he almost dropped it! it slipped out of his hands 4 times

His heart beating because of his phone but mostly because you were the finest woman he’s ever seen, he replays your sexy boomerang 30 times, literally engraving every detail about you into his mind. If his teammates weren’t so nosy he’d love to make what you just sent him his background on his phone......but that wouldn’t work

He really treasured you and what you sent though. For Aran, the next 9 days at this Global Tournament could not go by fast enough.

Aran’s never asked for naughty pictures from you not once because he doesn’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but seeing that you did it on your own, of course it made him want to skip his National game tomorrow just to fly back and make love to you all night then rub your back the way you like until you fell asleep

Mans is in LOVE, you feel me?

He wanted to show you just how treasured you are for sticking by his side through all this travelling shit. He wanted you to always know you were his queen even if he was miles away

So, by you sending this sexy Boomerang and treating him like a King even though you didn’t have to, your man fell even harder for you

He had so much planned when he came home like always: spoil you with a shopping trip with your girls, a romantic spa trip for you both and a trip to the amusement park, but it seemed so far away now

Frowning, Aran texted you back a paragraph telling you how beautiful you are and how lucky he was to have you in his life for a plethora of reasons

He Facetime’d you for the expected classic 20 minutes while you wore that lingerie BUT he actually stayed up for 36 minutes because he was fighting sleep like a damn boxer. He wanted to see you... but of course his fatigue got the better of him and he fell asleep with a big smile on his face because you whispered goodnight

•••

the next day, after sleeping in, Aran woke up for his first tournament game and did all of his pre-game rituals which included calling you, and his best friends Kita & the twins.

He proceeded to his 6:00pm game as planned in the grand court of Sydney.

Aran sweetly signed autographs and Jerseys with his name on it that fans and little kids eagerly presented to him before and after the game that they had won.

“Mr. Ran’! Mr. ‘Ran! Volleybwall is my most favouritest sport to pway , too! Can I have hug???” Asked a particularly bouncy little African-Australian girl in the crowd. Aran glances at the dad for permission and upon granting Aran nodded kindly and picked up the toddler so she was propped up on his hip. The girl wrapped her miniature arms around the big volleyball star’s neck and squeezed tightly. Aran chuckled in his deep voice, exclaiming an “Ow! You’re a strong one, aren’t you? A future Ace for sure.” The little girl gasped at her idols words and hugged him harder. The dad had to literally rip her out of Ojiro’s arms because she didn’t want to let go.

“Don’t break the volleyball player, honey. They’re sore.” Said the father to his daughter.

Aran reached in his gym bag to collect a clean tournament shirt from his bag and handed it to the hysterically crying little girl. “Sore is an understatement. But....here, ‘future Ace.’ When you make the National Women’s Team and I’m the one at one of your games, maybe you can give it back to me.”

The little girl’s whole life was made as she immediately stopped crying and smiled widely, hugging the shirt close to her chest as if it might disappear if she let go.

Because he was a teddy bear and wanted to sign as many kids memorabilia as possible, plus give the youth encouraging messages....Aran usually stayed an hour or two later than the other players after their away games. Telling his teammates to go on ahead back to their hotel without him

HE’S PERFECT 😩

Sore as hell and more tired than ever after his big games, he picked up his phone to call you on his way back to the hotel

He loved hearing your voice it was so soothing to him

No answer. He tried 5 times.

Thinking you were probably working hard from home, Ojiro dragged his feet past the hotel concierge and used all of his slumped body weight to push open the door to his hotel room.

He didn’t remember it being this dark in here or even shutting off the lights when he left, but being too tired to care he dropped his huge bag on the floor, gripping his aching shoulder as he took one step to the right to flip on the lights

When he did, he had to rub his sleepy eyes because he couldn’t believe what he saw

“Y-Y/N?!”

Standing in the middle of his hotel room, you smiled brightly and ran to your boyfriend, wrapping your legs around his waist in a koala hug. You wore that lacy number you used in the picture you sent him last night. Your man stumbled back from the impact and overall surprise but once he was stable he hugged you back tightly.

“Oh my God, you look incredible, what-what are you doing here?!” He asked, still in disbelief.

You pecked his lips and jumped down. “After last night I missed you so much. So I just called into work, booked a 9-hour direct flight and now I’m here! I’m staying for the rest of the tournament. Hi, handsome!!!!” You had so much happiness and light in your eyes that it literally woke up your boyfriend by contentment, even though he was just on the verge of collapsing on his bed from fatigue minutes ago.

He grabbed your face softly in his large hands and tilted your head up towards his to give you a proper kiss, letting you know how happy he was through the kiss.

You pulled away. “Whoa! Someone’s happy to see me!” You poked his tummy.

“An understatement—Wait, what is that?” Finally looking away from your face for the first time since he entered his room, Aran looked behind you in awe. There was a rather large massage table set up in the centre of his suite.

“Oh, that old thing?!” You questioned playfully as you jogged over to the big table and showcased it with your hands like a Wheel of Fortune prize girl. “I tried to book a massage for you for tomorrow because I know you always forget, but they were all booked obviously so I just asked the guy downstairs—after name dropping you—if they could bring this up and they had no problem with it!”

Aran looked at you incredulously so you continued. “Lay down, babe. I know you must be sore after your game. I ordered food for you too but they said it will be up here in an hour and a half. So, I’ll get out some of your kinks now, we’ll eat, and then I can massage you more until you fall asleep.”

Aran couldn’t believe this was happening.

“But you just got off a flight, Y/N! You must be tired, too! I couldn’t possibly—“

You gave your boyfriend your best Osamu impression with your seriously annoyed frown. “Aran. You do everything in your power to make sure that I’m feeling more than amazing every single day even when you are halfway across the world. So now since I’m a mere halfway across the room, I want to do this for you. Please. Let me return the favour.”

Feeling too tired to bicker and knowing you meant business, your big man gave in. He removed his shirt when you asked and settled face down on the comfortable table.

You put on some soft r&b and took out the essential oils you bought from the spa and began to give your man a sensual but remarkable rub down, taking immense care in soothing his muscle pain in his legs and back

You listened for his groans when you reached particularly sensitive spots on his back and spent a lot more time in those areas

When you were massaging his shoulders you made sure to lean down every few minutes to kiss the side of his neck and Aran would sigh in delight every time.

“Y/N. I know you want to get all of my kinks out and trust me this feels amazing, but, if you keep kissing me dressed like that I’ll stop this massage to make love to you on this table. Okay?”

You giggled and smacked his booty.

“Kay.” 😇

When the food came, you and Aran opted to sit on the couch and eat, feeding eachother and kissing and just being all cute n shit—🙄

A/N: Can you tell how jealous I am?

After dinner and your night routines, you told your baby to give you his hands in bed.

you lotioned them in between your smaller ones and gave him a long, much desired, kneading hand massage in the pitch black room until he was on the verge of falling asleep.

“I love you, Y/N.” whispered Ojiro, his deep voice slower because he was half asleep. “Please be here when I wake up....” He whispered before succumbing to a deep slumber.

You stopped your massage, kissed both of his hands and cuddled into his warm body.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Aran.” You closed your eyes too, feeling sleep wash over you as well.... “I’ll always be here.”

#aran ojiro #aran ojiro x reader #aran ojiro x y/n #aran ojiro x you #black anime fans #fluff #hq fluff #haikyu romance #hq romance #haikyu fluff #fluffville #kaylas fluffville #inarizaki #kiba hq #haikyu headcanons #osamu hq #hq atsumu

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takoyakitenchou · 3 years

Text

masquerade ch.8

7? idk but this one isn’t on ff or ao3 yet i think

12:58 PM Nakiri Erina: Hi, it’s been a while. Are you free the day after tomorrow?

1:03 PM Yukihira Souma: how’d u get this #?

1:04 PM Nakiri Erina: Alice gave it to me.

1:04 PM Yukihira Souma: sup

1:05 PM Nakiri Erina: I’m opening Kiralyno Haza. It’s not like I want you to show up or anything.

message opened

1:37 PM Nakiri Erina: Hello?

2:40 PM Yukihira Souma: hey sorry i just got on break. congrats nakiri!

2:41 PM Nakiri Erina: It was expected.

2:41 PM Yukihira Souma: surprised it took you so long to open. hurry up and get your 3 stars bubs then we’ll really see who’s the better chef

2:41 PM Yukihira Souma: and did you get tired of shinomiya or did he get tired of you?

2:42 PM Nakiri Erina: I got tired of him. Duh. Are you not coming?

2:42 PM Yukihira Souma: save 4 seats for me. i’ll be a balloon by the time im done w your food also i hope you have enough ingredients for a shokugeki after

“Ugh. You’re as shit at texting as ever,” Erina groaned, throwing down her phone, but then she picked it up again to stare at those four particular characters. Bubs. God, it had been so long since she’d seen that in her messages.

(under the cut to see souma and erina start to get their shit together lol)

To think that she had been the one to break the radio silence between them — good lord, that was fucking annoying. It was weird to think about. There had been plenty of opportunities for them to talk again, and yet they’d somehow managed to evade each other since they’d run into each other at Nakiri Mansion. Whether this was coincidence she had no idea, but Souma hadn’t been at the official Totsuki-sponsored 92nd gen alumni reunion, and Shinomiya had dragged Erina to some culinary conference that made her miss the freshman training camp where Souma threatened the living shits out of the poor first years but ended up not cutting anybody from the roster.

Erina had done her best not to linger on the fact that she had had to ask Alice for Souma’s new number, but goddamn would that remain at the forefront of her mind for the week following Kiralyno Haza’s debut until she got frustrated enough to the point where she damn near chucked her own phone out the window.

It was thanks to Alice that her condo was still in one piece.

The COO of the Nakiri-Totsuki Group was sitting next to her at a bar in Budapest, helping herself to her third shot of tequila, a few empty glasses and a growing tab between them. “Yukihira’s coming?”

Erina nodded, smiling despite herself. “Yeah. I guess he is.”

Taking sudden interest in her drink, Alice remained silent for a thoughtful moment before she said, “I haven’t seen you this happy since you two broke up.”

With a half-hearted huff, Erina scoffed, “Yeah, right.”

Alice gave her a long look. “I’m not kidding, Erina. Who was that other guy you were seeing? Darren?”

“Aaron. Darren was before him.”

“Doesn’t he have a 3000-seater concert hall named after him?”

“I couldn’t care less.” Erina said, and Alice knew it was 593% true.

Whenever tolerating a guy got tedious, Erina had extinguished whatever spark he thought he had ignited, pretended to be hung up on it, and started over, systematically breaking hearts left and right, all the while building titanium defenses around her own.

And then, a year and half ago, she’d seen Yukihira Souma at Nakiri Mansion, and everything had changed.

So. Much. Pining. Alice was more than a few years past sick of how long those two idiots were dragging their shit out.

Erina picked up her belongings. “We should probably stop day-drinking.”

“Sure,” Alice said, paying the tab before Erina could get her wallet out.

“I’ll pay you back for that,” Erina promised as they left the bar.

Alice put a hand on Erina’s shoulder. “You can pay me back by not fucking up your confession again.”

At this, Erina frowned. A withering counter should’ve been second nature, but she found herself incapable. She wanted to believe that whatever piece of her heart that had clung to the hope that Yukihira Souma would come back to her was nothing more than a memory. More than anything, she wished the voice at the back of her head telling her to move on and forget him and their past would finally win out, because there were people in her present waiting for her, and it would be a sin to ignore that.

But she couldn’t say the words; her heart belonged to Yukihira Souma — would always belong to him — and all broken promises and relationships notwithstanding, that was something she could not deny.

Although Souma technically hadn’t been invited to the kitchen for shift drinks when the front doors closed, he had taken the liberty of bringing a bottle of cab sauv that he and Erina finished in like ten seconds flat, to hell with sharing with staff, family, and friends.

The second she felt the words wanna come over? slip out of her atmosphere-drunk mouth, she knew it was going to take more self-control than she had not to demand he stay with her forever.

“So, Yukihira,” she said like they hadn’t been catching up for the last two hours when they were sitting on the couch in her living room with pinot noir. “How’ve you been?”

The corners of Souma’s lips twitched. “Not bad,” he replied. “Mostly cooking. A few interviews and shit. I’ve been keeping up with all your stuff, by the way. Three tastings in twelve hours next Monday seems like too much, Nakiri.”

Erina frowned. “Even if you were as talented a stalker as Mimasaka Subaru, how the fuck would you know that?”

He held up his phone. “You were signed into my calendar app when I last downloaded a backup copy four years ago. So every time I get a new phone, I transfer all the old data.”

Erina stared at him, horrified. “Holy shit. You’ve seen everything?”

Shrugging, Souma said, “Not everything. Just… your dates with Darren. And Aaron. Also, I knew about Kiralyno opening before you texted me so I’d already cleared out my schedule by then.”

Erina had stopped listening halfway through. “Wait, Yukihira…”

“It’s okay, Nakiri.” Souma waved it off. “You’re here with me now. All that matters. Let’s not look too far into our past, yeah?”

“Don’t look into my future either, idiot! Sign out of my Google calendar right now!”

Souma shook his head seriously. “Sorry, Nakiri, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Why the fuck not?”

He gazed at her intently and rested his chin on his fist. “I need to make sure I’ll still be in it.”

Erina rolled her eyes. “Don’t say sappy shit like that. It doesn’t suit you.”

“What if I just stayed?” he asked.

She sighed. “I think the question is, would I even let you? I thought we’re putting the past behind us? Don’t you want this back?” She pointed at the white cloth she was wearing on her wrist. His white cloth.

Souma ignored the second question and pulled Erina to him by her waist, close enough that she could feel his warm breath as he spoke, forehead brushing hers. “Another thing we both know is that you and I could never be just friends.”

“Take your hands off me or I swear I’m either going to spill my wine or kiss you, and I seriously do not care which.”

He leaned back with a sad smile. “You wouldn’t let me stay, would you, Nakiri?”

“I couldn’t,” she said helplessly. “We don’t even know where our lines are.”

“Do we need lines?” Souma asked, finishing his glass and balancing it on his knee. “You and I are beyond this dimension.”

Erina stared at him, memorizing every last square centimeter of his features — the way his hair seemed to get shorter every time they met until he somewhat resembled someone of his culinary pedigree; the way the creases formed on his sleeves along the contours of his toned arms.

“You know, Nakiri, if you let me stay, you wouldn’t have to stare so much.”

She tore her gaze from his collarbone, her whole face turning red. In all her twenty-one years, that had to be the most embarrassing moment of her life. “Shut up! I’m not staring!”

He was watching her with wistful eyes. “I wouldn’t mind if you were…”

And they both heard it.

I wouldn’t mind if you were mine.

#shokugeki no soma #shokugeki no souma #sorina #soueri #yukihira soma #yukihira souma #nakiri erina #CANT BELIEVE THEYRE FINALLY GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER #oh wait #im the one writing this

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fandom-writing-madness · 4 years

Note

I couldn’t find any rules to follow about requesting, so I hope this doesn’t break any boundaries. Can you do a scenario of deku, Bakugou, and shoto getting a message from a friend saying that they had found the boys s/o on a dating app under a different name? And when the three confront their s/o, they basically go “that’s my twin, bud.” And proceed to show pictures of the two together or FaceTime the twin or something to prove it?

I just wanna say that I really like this idea, seems pretty funny and hopefully I can make it seem that way ^0^ It kinda seems like this was formatted to be a poly relationship but I can’t tell for sure so… I’m gonna write them separate.

(Also, this will be the only request I do that has multiple characters for scenarios, this is because I failed to specify how many characters I would do for hcs and scenarios in my rules before this was sent in, so the fault is with me and I’m not gonna deny this request because of it)

Izuku, Bakugou and Shoto with an S/O who has an identical twin:

Izuku Midoriya:

You were surprised when the door to your room was pushed open in a rush and the figure that had pushed it open ran straight to you. You got so startled that you stumbled backwards but managed to catch yourself, staring at the person right in front of you.

“I-Izuku?! What are you doing here?” Your voice held just as much confusion as your question did. He looked at you for a brief moment before he looked away, but that gave you just enough of a chance to see some tears in his eyes. Shock and worry filled your body “Izuku what happened?!” You reached for one of his hands with both of yours, in hopes to get him to look at you.

When he did, your heart sped up and your worry doubled, you were stunned into silence at the sight. He looked like he might have been crying before coming to visit you, but there was no way of telling for sure because he seemed like he JUST started to cry. He took a breath before speaking.

“Is it true?” His voice cracked as he looked you straight in the eyes.

What? “Izuku… what are you talking about?” you stared back, with so much confusion. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of you with someone else, a picture that showed you giving someone else a kiss on the cheek with a smile on your face. Or… at least that’s what he thought was you.

You stared at the phone for a few second longer before looking away to laugh. It was both funny and not at the same time, but you couldn’t stop the laughter that this situation caused. “What are you laughing about y/n?” You could hear the confusion is his voice, though it still held sadness.

“Izuku…. That’s not me” you responded after you got a hold of your laughs. “That’s my twin” You looked at him with a smile before pulling your phone out of your pocket. You swiped it open and searched for your siblings contact, pressing on the call button when you found it.

You smiled more once your sibling picked up and greeted you, asking what’s up. Sitting down on your bed you patted the spot next to you, encouraging Izuku to do the same. Once he sat down, you moved your phone so he could see your screen and once you did, you looked over at him to see his reaction. The only way to describe it pure shock.

“This is my twin Izuku, this is the one you saw in the photos you thought were me.” You couldn’t help but smile as he just stared at your phone in shock, until his face changed. He looked guilty. “I-Im sorry y/n” You were confused so you asked “What for?”

“For assuming that you would do something like that, I should have more trust in you, and so I apologize for thinking that was you” He bowed his head. You could’t help but giggle a bit “It’s alright! It’s my fault too for or not telling you about my twin, so I can understand why you thought it was me at first” As you looked down at your phone you could see your twin giving you a look of confusion, so you decided to tell your sibling what had happened. Afterward they just laughed at you for forgetting and apologized on your behalf.

That night you and Izuku spent the night together, watching a movie and cuddling under a blanket.

Bakugou Katsuki:

You nearly jumped out of your skin when your door flew open before stopping with a harsh thud. You were pretty sure you heard a crack or two when the door collided with the wall. When you looked over at your door you couldn’t see anything thanks to the smoke coming off of the door but that was enough of a clue as to who is was.

“Katsuki! Why couldn’t you just open the door! You didn’t need to blast it! Plus it’s late, think about the others!” You pouted as you the smoke cleared up, letting you get a good look at him. He seemed really agitated, his body moving with his heavy breaths and the scowl on his face gave that away. You grew a little nervous, you couldn’t think of anything that would make him this angry at the moment.

He moved towards you, his footsteps heavy and quick, he was on edge. He didn’t stop till he was directly in front of you, staring you straight in the eyes with a scowl still on his face.

“y/n, you’ve got some explaining to do” He growled out through clenched teeth, putting you on edge as well. What was he talking about?

“Katsuki… I don’t know what you’re talking about…” You stared at him in confusion. You could see a brief moment of pure hurt cross his features before its covered up by his anger and he pulls out his phone, scrolling, looking for something. Then his fingers stop and he looks at you before showing you a photo of you with someone else, holding hands as you and the other person pose for the selfie.

You stare at the photo in shock for a moment, before looking away. You wanted to laugh but didn’t want to make the situation worse, so you held back. You could hear Bakugou huff and shift his stance and looked back over to him. He looked away before asking “So, who is he?”

You opened your mouth to respond but couldn’t find the right words so you opted to showing him instead. You pulled out your phone and opened it. Out of your peripheral vision you swore you saw him flinch and look slightly down, enough to where his bangs could cover his face, showing only his frown. You frowned too. You decided to speak up while looking for the contact, “Kastuski, I promise you it’s not me” Once again you could see him scowl, his whole body trembling in anger.

“Who is it then?! You can’t say that’s not you in the damn picture!” You looked up after pressing the button on your phone, seeing the anger and slight hurt on his face, causing you to frown and look back down at your phone.

“I’d like you to say hi” You were talking at whoever was on your phone and before Bakugou could speak agian, you put the screen up to face him. He stopped whatever he was gonna say and stared in shock at the screen. You smiled a little at the reaction “Katsuki, this is my twin, the person you saw in the photo” You could hear your sibling speak up through the phone, introducing themselves.

After explaining the whole situation, Bakugou seemed to have calmed down and sat in silence after you said goodbye to your sibling and hung up. You looked over at him with a little worry before getting pulled into a hug, his arms holding you tight. You immediately hugged back, happy that he didn’t seem upset anymore.

“I’m sorry” It was quiet, but genuine and that brought a smile to your face.

“I’m sorry as too Katsuki, If i had introduced my twin to you before, this could have been avoided”

You two spent the rest of the night talking about how silly the situation was now that you both knew what happened and fell asleep in each others arms.

Todoroki Shoto:

The students could tell that something happened between you two but didn’t know what. Todoroki was avoiding you and it took a toll on your emotions for the entire day. You had no clue why he was avoiding you but it left you feeling empty and hurt. Did you do something to hurt him? Did you upset him in any way? You didn’t know but you wanted to find out.

So when night came around, you talked yourself into going to see him and not avoid him like he was doing with you, so you walked to his room. If you did something you had to at least know so you could avoid doing it again. But you couldn’t think of anything you’ve done that could have upset him. Standing in front of his door, you took a deep breath before knocking on the door, hoping that he would open it. Thankfully he did.

Looking up at him, you gave him a small smile telling him you needed to talk to him and asked if you could come in. He hesitated for a second before opening his door more and stepping to the side, letting you in. You thanked him and walked into the room, standing in the center before turning around to face him after he closed the door. Better to get this done and over with, you wanted to know why he was avoiding you and you weren’t going to leave the room till you found out why.

“Why are you avoiding me Shoto?” You continued to stare at him as he turned around and stood where he was, refusing to move. He stared at you with his blank expression, to the untrained eye it would look like he wasn’t interested in this conversation, but to you, his girlfriend, you could see the hurt and defeat that showed itself through his expression. He took in a small breath before asking “Who is he?”

Que your silence and confusion. “What are you talking about Shoto?” You held your breath as he exhaled through his nose and walked towards you. Pulling out his phone and opening it he pulled up a photo and once he got to you, he showed you it. The photo was of two people, you and some dude who had his arms wrapped around your waist with one of your hands over his and the other taking the photo of you two.

Oh. Oh that’s what this was about.

You couldn’t help but smile a little as you looked at your boyfriend “That’s not me Shoto” You smiled to yourself as you shook your head at how silly this situation was and how you could have avoided it. “What do you mean?” He questioned, genuinely confused.

“What I mean is, I’m an idiot for not telling you earlier” You pulled out your phone. “I guess it just slipped my mind since everyone around me knew” You could see a frown make it’s way onto his face, so everyone knew about this except him?

You had pulled up a contact on your phone and asked for a facetime with them. You looked over at Shoto to see hurt on his and quickly explained “Shoto, I have a twin, that’s who you saw in the photo” and right at that moment the person on the other line of the call, picked up and greeted you with a smile. Shoto looked shocked so you and your twin explained the situation and made sure that that your twin, was in fact, the one in the photo.

After the call ended you could tell that Shoto felt bad so you asked him to follow you to the kitchen, which he did. Once you got there you brought out all the items to make tea and before you could move to fill the kettle with water, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your waist and a head rested on your shoulder. A soft “I’m sorry y/n” came from Todoroki and you smiled and put your hands over his. “It’s alright, I forgive you” You made sure he could hear that before moving your head over to his and giving his temple a soft kiss.

—————————————

I feel that these steadily got longer as I went on…. I’m sorry Izuku ;-; And I’m sorry this took so long to get to! I haven’t felt the motivation to write these past 2 days but I felt awful ignoring these so I am kicking myself to get them done.

Thank you so much for requesting anon! It means a lot to me and I hope that you enjoy this. Hopefully I didn’t write them too OOC and that these are actually believable ^^’

#bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha x reader #izuku x reader #bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader

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nthngbxtfanfics · 4 years

Text

Not her - Jooheon scenario

As you may noticed. Part 6 got deleted, just because Tumblr did such an amazing job in synchronizing the App version with the Web version. YEY.

So now I had to rewrite it. It makes me so sad cuz the previous version was so damn awesome!

But that doesn’t mean that I’ll be taking mercy on you.

Welcome to my rollercoaster of emotions.

Taglist:

@lidda @meiiyue @pleasantpeachstudent @im-what-iam @elenaramos1 @1crazyteenage-dirtbag @ghostofyoujungkook

I hope I didn’t forget anyone...

“What?” You thought your ears would play a sick prank on you. But that wasn’t the case. His words repeated in your mind, trying to figure out if these words had any truth in them.

“I-”

“Stop! Don’t repeat yourself. I don’t wanna hear that!” you interrupted him as the weight of his question pulled onto your heart-strings. A new kind of pain evolved within your chest, making it hard to breathe.

“But Y/N-” he took a step forward, opening his arms, trying to reach out to you.

“Stop! Jooheon I told you to stop. I don’t wanna hear more from you, don’t you understand?” your body reacted automatically with your words and took a step back, further away from him. You felt uneasy, you couldn’t understand your own actions, emotions or thoughts. Everything was so confusing.

“But Y/N I do wanna be with you! I’m not lying to you! I’m fucking serious” his words got heavier in your chest. You couldn’t face him anymore, you closed your eyes avoiding the man in front of you. Your sobs made your body tremble, your limbs became cold. The whole warmth in your body was gone.

“Please don’t do that to me Y/N.” Jooheons heart was in extreme pain. Your fragile figure, your tears. The pain in your body was visible and he hated that sight. His vision was blurry, tears stained his cheeks. He never wished to bring you to this state, he wanted you to be happy but not in pain. He knew he was selfish the whole time, neglecting his feelings and you. He wanted to erase those emotions and failed and this was his punishement.

Once again, Jooheon tried to come closer to you, to embrace you in his arms and yet again, your body reacted on it’s own. Your arms wrapped around your waist, hugging your trembling body, trying to give yourself some warmth. Your feet took you another step back, away from Jooheon, searching for a safe spot in the room.

“I’m pleading you Y/N. Please let me explain everything.” Jooheon couldn’t hold back his emotions, he needed to release them or else he would go insane. He wanted you to know everything, hoping it would ease the pain in you.

Your legs became weak, you searched for a place to rest your feet. Your body sat down onto the soft matress of Hoseoks bed, your upper body leaned forward, your elbows rested on your knees and your hands supported your head. You kept your eyes away from Jooheon, too scared to see his broken state. His voice was enough for you, it broke your heart to hear the sadness in it. Your mind was empty and dark, tears kept flowing down your now red cheeks.

Jooheon took your silence as a sign for him to continue. His gaze wouldn’t leave you for a second, he wanted to catch every reaction of your body, for him to move on. He hesitated, finding the right words to start. He saw how vulnerable you were and he wanted to be more cautious and careful with them. Too scared to hurt you even more. He took a deep breath, finishing it with a shaken sigh.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” His lower lip started to tremble more, trying to hold back a sob and tears started to reapear, taking over his vision. His head turned away from you for a short time to return with shut closed eyes, trying to stop the drops from falling. As he opened them, they catched your small figure and let the tears free. Jooheon took another much smaller bit of air, his teeth hold onto his trembling lip, trying to stop it. He himself was drained, all energy left his limbs. Anger was no where to be found, all he wanted was to lock you in his arms and never let go. His desire to keep you safe and warm became stronger, his first priority became you. His own heart gave him a hard time through this situation. He wanted you back, but he needed to earn that reward. “I never meant to hurt you. I was just too stupid and selfish to notice how much I actually hurt you with my actions. All I wanted was to get rid of these emotions for you. I wanted to get rid of this everlasting pain, I have when I don’t have you beside me. When you smile and I’m not the main reason for it.” His own sobs interrupted him, he took this opportunity to calm down a little and to wait for some reaction coming from you. Your body was still, listening to all his words. Words full of pain, sadness and love. Honesty weighted those words, you couldn’t argue with that.

“Y/N I love you since the day we first met. It felt like love at first sight, your smile brought warmth to my heart. Your hugs brought me strength through my busy schedule days. Your voice brought me the sweetest dreams at night, even if they were short, I knew I could lean on you. I wanted to ask you out back then, but I don’t wanted to pressure you on being my girlfriend, especially since I’m a member of Monsta X. But I don’t wanted to loose you, I wanted you beside me. That’s why I kept you as my best friend.” The words became heavier and the knot in Jooheons throat tighter. His mouth became dry, swallowing his own saliva became a struggle. “The more time I spent with you the more I fell for you and became more scared to confess my feelings. I was too afraid to scare you away. I don’t wanted to ruin our friendship and throw our memories to waste. You mean so much to me I can’t loose you.” He took another breath to put more words together.

“When I introduced you to the other members, I was so happy that you got along so well. That the members love you almost as much as I do. But as you started to get closer to Kihyun, that even rumors started to circulate, that you two were dating. My mind went crazy, I was so jealous, I couldn’t think straight. I was so close to punch my brother and loose my chance to you. I couldn’t let this happen. That’s why I acted like I was fine with this whole situation. I came to the conclusion to get rid of my feelings for you.” As memories started to flood his mind, tears of pain and betrail started to fall free from his glassy eyes.

“I went to my studio to get drunk or wasted and ended up in clubs, hooking up with some random chicks. Only to erase you from my mind. I searched you in every woman I was with, but no one was as perfect as you, only worse.” Jooheon stopped himself, to wait for a response from you. But your body stayed still this whole time. Jooheon grew confident and walked towards your figure. He kneeled down in front of you, reaching your eye-level. He lifted his hands to reach for yours. He took them away from your tears-stained face and held them tight in your lap. Squezzing them a little, to comfort you. His thumb circled your palm, warming up the little spot. His hands radiated warmth and your shoulders began to relax. Jooheons eyes laid on your hands, they fitted perfectly in his palms.

“I thought, my only option was to get a girlfriend. I hoped it would actually help and I was wrong. It only got worse. Especially after Kihyun cleared up the situation, that you two aren’t dating and that you both were not really interested in doing so. That’s also when Hyejins real face was revealed to me. I know, you tried to convince me first and I didn’t believed you. Only when Changkyun told me about everything that happened. The things she did to Hoseok-hyung, to Hyunwoo-hyung and to you. But If I’d knew about the coffee incident earlier, I would have done something about it.” Jooheon lifted his eyes, searching for yours. They hid behind your messy bangs, Jooheons hand automatically took action and lifted itself, to brush some strands behind your ear. Revealing your now puffy eyes. His hand rested on your cheek, cupping it. Tears welled up in your eyes, waiting for release. You couldn’t hold them back and let them free, yet again. Jooheon catched those tears with his thumb, before they could reach the soft cushion of your swollen lips. His thumb rubbed lightly on your cheek, another comforting gesture. You leaned into the warmth of his palm, your eyes shutting close. Enjoying that small moment.

“Y/N. I don’t know why I was so careless and so stubborn. As I saw you and Kihyun today, so close. I couldn't hold it anymore, it made me so mad. I never meant to scare you like that. I don’t know myself anymore. Please forgive me for being me, for being too stupid to not see what’s best for me and for letting go of you.” Jooheons hands started to tremble, as new words flooded his mind. Words he wanted to let free.

“Please look at me Y/N” You raised your head, meeting Jooheons glassy eyes, tears asking for release. You could see all kinds of emotions in those lost, dark orbs. Pain, sadness, anger and love. Your reflection, visible in them like a mirror. His gaze was strong, but didn’t afraid you. The opposite, you wanted to fall in them deep as deep as you could. Like falling into the galaxy, you desired the feeling of no gravity and the stars becoming your home.

“I love you.”

Your eyes widened at his confession, the three words repeated themselves in your head. A force within him took over his body as Jooheon reached forward, the desire to feel your lips on his became so strong. There was no stopping in his movement until he met the softness of your plump lips. You were taken a back at the sudden contact but gave in. Your lips worked in sync, your brain felt dizzy, your surroundings became blurry. More tears left your closed eyes, Jooheons tears got mixed with yours. The kiss was soft, passionate and full of pain.

A sudden strange feeling of pain, different and stronger than before, filled your body. You pulled back from the kiss. Your sobs became stronger, your body started to tremple again and more thicker tears started to fall. Your head fell onto Jooheons chest, hiding in his presence. Jooheon immediately sat beside you and wrapped his arms around you nd pulled your legs over his lap. One hand caressing your back, the other holding your head in place. His arms were strong around you, not letting you go. His own emotions started a battle with him, but he needed to be strong for you. He never saw you in this kind of state. Sudden guilt builded up within himself.

An internal battle started within you, a battle between your heart and your mind. Your heart wanted to let go, to feel the love he was giving you. The long deserved warmth from the man you love so dearly. Your mind was screaming to let go, it was too soon to give in. It warned you from further harm, you weren’t ready to receive and live with that love. You had to leave now or it’ll be too late, but your heart wanted you to stay a little longer. You needed to heal and it knew you could do it with him.

Jooheon waited for you to calm down, but wouldn’t let go of you. He would never forgive himself if he’d let you slip away from his fingertips. He needed you and you needed him, he wanted to be there for you. His grip got stronger as his thoughts went further. He felt in peace as your cry decreased and you stopped fully.

His warm chest, transfered warmth to your cold body. But the battle within you increased, making it uneasy to stay in his arms. But your body lost almost all energy that was left. The weaker you got, the stronger the force to leave became stronger. You couldn’t handle it anymore, you used your last bit of strengh and escaped out of Jooheons grip.

“I’m sorry but I can’t” You rushed out of the bedroom, leaving a shocked Jooheon behind. As he lost sight of you, his body reacted immediately and run after you as fast as he could. Begging you not to leave him.

“Y/N! You can’t leave like that. Y/N wait!” you slammed the front door, right infront of Jooheons face. His hand reached the doorhandle, trying to open it. But another hand stopped his motion and shutted the door, when Jooheon managed to open it a little.

“Jooheon!” Jooheons head snapped towards the calling voice. “Leave her alone.” Hoseok was concerned about you and Jooheons well being. But he couldn’t let Jooheon leave in the state he currently was.

“But Hyung...” Jooheon collapsed into his members firm chest, letting his emotions take over. His sobs were strong, his tears thick. Hoseok wrapped his arms around the younger one. His cries were loud enough so the others could hear the pain, their rapper was suffering.

They listened to the whole situation that happened behind those thin walls. They felt sorry for both of you. But no one blamed you for running away, you had a really hard time and Jooheon just came over and put more confusion into your emotional hurricane.

“Why did she left? All I wanted was to give her my love” Hoseok tried his best calming down the broken-hearted man. Jooheons sobs became louder as he continued. “Why do I deserve all that? She took my heart, left and threw it away.”

“Y/N needs time, you overwhelmed her with your confession. She needs time, let her breath a little. She loves you. She’ll come back. I know that and you know that too, you know her better than we do.” Hoseok held him tight, picking the right words to comfort him more.

“But why does it hurt so much?“

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I promise.”

Your feet took you as fast as you could, the pain coming from your soles got ignored. Your breathing was heavy and painful, your throat was dry, unbearable. Your speed slowed down as exhaustion made itself present and your familiar bus-station became visible. You made sure, that Jooheon nor a member was following you, before you halted completely. You searched for your purse, to take the next bus back to your place. Your search was unsuccessful, you forgot your purse at the dorm and running back was definitely no option for you.

You decided to walk on your own. Your pace was slow, exhaustion took over your body, just like the wish for your place called home. Your arms hugged your own body, giving yourself the much desired warmth, you needed. Your mind was lost, the unfamiliar pain now gone, your heart crying. You couldn’t understand why, no happiness fueled your body. The man that you love so dearly confessed his feelings to you and repeatedly stated to be with you. But why couldn’t you find the hapiness in that moment. Why did that voice warn you? Was it really too soon to give in and fall? Was there more to come?

The apartment complex became visible as you slowly reached your destination. You made your way towards the elevator, picking the right floor. As the doors opened, the sight of the heavy door became visible. You expected a warm feeling building up in your chest, whenever you saw this door. But now it seemed so foreign. Your fingers moved and punched the code to your place into the touchpad. The doors automatically opened, giving you space to enter. The apartement was dark and cold. A feeling you’ve never been greeted by. As the doors closed, your body slammed against the wood and slid down onto the floor.

No tears left your eyes, no pain left in your chest, your mind dark. But a small sad smile decorated your lips. Your teeth finding the soft pad of your lips, holding back the new tears as realization hit you.

Please, Find me

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chinguwritings · 4 years

Text

A 3RACHA Fan-Fiction

|| Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 ||

By: Admin Kay

Chapter 3 - Shared Feelings

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Hanahaki AU

Rating: R (swearing, sexual scenes)

Word Count: 4.2k

“Changbin,” Jisung called as he knocked on his bedroom door. Not receiving an answer, he welcomed himself in and found a still sleeping Changbin curled up on his bed. “Hyung?” he called again, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “Did you see Chan’s text last night?”

“Hng?” he mumbled into his pillow as he shifted under the sheets, “I didn’t check my phone last night.”

“Oh… well, he wanted to have a 3racha day today so he invited both of us to go to the amusement park with him. Do you think you’re feeling well enough to go?”

“Not really… I still feel like shit.”

“Damn…” Jisung sighed, worriedly glancing back at Changbin, “He wanted to celebrate after finishing our recording so he was really looking forward to it… I’ll let him know you don’t feel good.”

He waited for a confirmation from Changbin, but got nothing, so he decided to just head back to his room and start getting ready. Jisung really did feel bad that Changbin couldn’t come, but secretly, he was kind of excited that it would just be him and Chan… it was like a second date!

“Hello?”

“Hi, Chan-hyung!” Jisung greeted through the phone as he looked through his closet for a nice outfit, “So um… I’ve got some good news, and bad news.”

“Okay, let’s hear the bad first.”

“So, Changbin has been sick since yesterday afternoon… this morning I checked up on him, but he said he still doesn’t feel good so he’s not gonna come today.”

“Oh, he’s sick? He seemed alright at his recording yesterday… tell him I hope he feels better soon. So what’s the good news?”

“I’m going!” Jisung said excitedly, finally deciding on an outfit and laying it out on his bed.

“Oh,” Chan chuckled at the excitement in Jisung’s voice, “Alright, so it’ll just be the two of us then?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he answered, trying to sound a little less giddy as he changed into the clothes he’d picked out.

“Okay then, I’ll be at your place in like fifteen minutes to pick you up.”

“Sounds good! See you soon.”

“See you.”

Cupping his face in his hands, Jisung laughed hysterically to himself, unable to wipe the huge smile off his face. He couldn’t even process the excitement he was feeling about being alone with Chan again, and even more so, at an amusement park. Even though it wasn’t intended to be a date, the given circumstances were sure as hell making it seem like one.

Recollecting himself, he finished styling his hair and gave himself a few spritz of his favorite cologne before packing a condom and mints in his pants pockets, as always, and just as he finished getting ready, he heard his phone go off.

[Chan 11:43 am]: Im here

As excited as he was, he was also nervous. This was the first time they’d be spending time together with Chan knowing Jisung was gay, and although he was supportive when he came out, hanging out now would be completely different. What if Chan started being awkward around him because he knew Jisung was into guys now? He knew Chan was a nice person, but this was sexuality they were talking about; if Chan was straight and he suspected that Jisung had a crush on him, the close friendship they shared and developed up to this point could be put on the line. It was a bit scary for Jisung to be honest, but he really liked Chan, so he wanted to make a genuine effort to be with him. If it didn’t work out, well then he would just accept that it’s not meant to be… at least that’s what he told himself.

“Hey,” Jisung greeted as he opened the passenger side door of the company van.

“Hey,” Chan smiled, peering over at Jisung as he made himself comfortable and slung his seatbelt on, “You look nice!”

“Oh, uh… thanks!” Jisung stuttered, his eyes falling to the floor nervously, “Um… you too.”

“No need to flatter me,” Chan chuckled as he put the car back into drive and started making his way to the amusement park. “So… do you know when Changbin started feeling sick?”

“Hm… not exactly, but it must’ve been shortly after the recording yesterday. He said he was gonna meet me at the practice room, but he didn’t show up, and then when I got home I found him in the bathroom. It didn’t sound too good…”

“I see…” Chan nodded, a serious expression on his face as he focused intensely on the road.

“Yeah… he said it’s just food poisoning, but I’m not too sure. Sometimes, Changbin tries to act tough and hide when he’s hurting, but I don’t like to fight with him about it,” Jisung shrugged, turning to look out the window before continuing, “I’m sure he’ll go to the doctor if it’s bad enough, so I’m trying not to worry.”

“I agree, as long as he knows his limits he should be fine.”

* * *

Changbin groaned as he stretched out his arms and then reached for his phone, checking the time through half lidded eyes. Damn, it’s 2 already? he sighed, rubbing his face as he slowly sat himself up and dragged himself out of bed.

“Jisung,” he called as he walked out into the hall towards Jisung’s bedroom, but there was no answer. “Jisung?” he called again, knocking on the door before opening it and peeking inside. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me…

Finding an empty room, he quickly made a round around their small apartment to double check, but as suspected, Jisung was nowhere to be found. Changbin only sighed in response knowing there was nothing he could do about it at that point. He was just in utter disbelief that Jisung cared more about going out with Chan than staying home to make sure his best friend was okay… was something going on between them?

He had suffered enough last night, getting caught up in his thoughts about Chan, so he tried his best not to think about it; the last thing he wanted was another bad flare up. Wanting to keep himself busy, he thought it’d be a good idea to clean up around the house, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, vacuuming, and so on. By the time he’d finished, it was almost dinner time, so he decided to go out and treat himself at a nice restaurant since Jisung was probably gonna be out for a while more.

As he sat at his table waiting for his food to be served, he found himself scrolling through his social media to pass the time; it was pretty boring though, there wasn’t much to see. He was just about to get off of the app when he noticed a post from the 3racha account on his feed, so he scrolled down to see what it was. To no surprise, it was selfies of Chan and Jisung and they were posing together on the ferris wheel.

Even though he wasn’t surprised, Changbin definitely wasn’t happy about seeing pictures like that. All he could think to himself was, why couldn’t it be me? He wasn’t one hundred percent sure if Chan and Jisung had feelings for each other, but seeing as Jisung had been acting strangely these days and avoiding Changbin’s questions, it was hard for him to ignore the eerie feeling he’d developed in regards to their relationship.

If they really did have something though… why? What’s so different about Jisung that Changbin doesn’t have? What does Chan see in him? Is it because Jisung is more bubbly? Taller? Better looking? It bothered him knowing that Chan could possibly like Jisung and not even that long after their one night stand. Did Chan really not care about him?

He was able to go the entire day flower free, but good things don’t last forever, right? Just as the waitress brought his food, he could feel the familiar tightness building up in his lungs accompanied by his increasing heart rate and an intense urge to cough.

“Um excuse me…” he called to the waitress as she walked away, “Where’s the restroom?”

“In that corner over there, just past the wall,” she pointed as she spoke, “You’ll see the sign.”

“Thank you,” Changbin barely finished as he rushed to the corner as she’d directed, tears filling his eyes as he continued to fight back his urge to cough. It’s not that this disease was critical and would cause people to panic if they saw someone who had it; it wouldn’t cause death in its early stages and it wasn’t contagious. But Changbin found it rather embarrassing and it just made him feel extremely pathetic. How can an idiot really be hung up on a person who treats them like shit and doesn’t like them back? If people knew that some dude was struggling with unrequited love long enough to have reached the fourth stage, green petals… then doesn’t that show weakness? That he’s not strong enough to move forward? Besides being noticed by people in public, maybe that’s also why he was so afraid to tell Jisung. He didn’t want him to think he was weak.

Arriving at the bathroom just in time, he shut and locked the door before his lungs spewed dozens of green lily petals into the toilet bowl. It always hurt more after dwelling on his thoughts for a long time and it also seemed to be hurting more as his disease continued to progress; when would it end? Clutching his sides in pain, he closed his eyes as he tried his best to steady his labored breathing. It took a few minutes for him to finally regain strength enough to pull himself back together, although part of it was forced just because he wanted to get out of that place as soon as he could.

Once he got back to his table, he asked for his check and to have his food taken out instead, not really having much of an appetite anymore after his sudden outburst. By the time he got back home, it was nearly 8, but still Jisung hadn’t come home. How long were they gonna be out anyways?

* * *

“So did you have fun?” Chan asked as he and Jisung found an open table to sit down and eat their food at.

“Yes! Thank you so much for bringing me,” Jisung smiled as he bit into his burger.

Chan chuckled, finding Jisung’s reaction cute, “I’m glad. We should definitely do this more often.”

Jisung’s eyes grew wide at Chan’s comment, surprised to hear that he felt that way. It’s true that he might’ve been thinking more of it than it really was, but knowing that Chan wanted to spend more time with him regardless if it was platonic or not made Jisung’s heart flutter. The more he could bond with Chan, the more he felt like he had a chance.

“I mean… unless you don’t want to,” Chan interrupted teasingly in response to Jisung’s silence.

“N-no no, that’s not it! I do want to… I was just surprised… is all…”

Chan could only laugh again, seeing how flustered Jisung was. He wasn’t really sure, but he was starting to get an inkling that maybe Jisung had a crush on him. Even though this whole amusement park hangout was meant to be for 3racha, he was thankful to have another opportunity with just Jisung so he could test if his hypothesis was correct. “Did you have any last things you wanted to do before we leave?” Chan asked before finishing off his food.

For a moment Jisung sat there, thinking if there was anything else he wanted to do. As he glanced around the park that was now beautifully illuminated in the night, there was actually one thing that stood out to him and caught his attention. “Um… if you’re up for it, do you want to go on the ferris wheel again? Since it’s dark now, maybe we can see the city lights.”

“Sure,” Chan smiled, “I wanted to go again too, actually.”

After finishing up their food and cleaning up the table, the two of them made their way back to the ferris wheel. Thankfully, the line wasn’t too long so they were able to get into a cart fairly quickly. Slowly the cart made its ascent as other people boarded after them and as Jisung mentioned, once they were high enough, the breathtaking view of the city came into view, the street lights glowing under the starry night sky.

“Hyung, look,” Jisung gawked as he stared out the window, “It’s so beautiful.”

Chan took the opportunity to scoot closer to him, slinging his arm over the back of Jisung’s side of the bench as he peered over his shoulder, “It definitely is… but I’ve got my eyes on something else.”

Jisung’s face suddenly began to heat up, hands growing clammy as his heart began to pound. He was really hoping it was him that Chan was referring to, but it seemed too good to be true. He didn’t want to give himself false hope.

“Y-you do?” he answered, not wanting to make assumptions too quickly. As he turned to face Chan, he was startled to see that he’d scooted closer while he wasn’t paying attention and his face was now just a hair's width away from his own.

“Stop me if you don’t like it,” Chan barely whispered before pressing his lips against Jisungs. His eyes widened at Chan’s abrupt advance, his face even more flushed now than earlier as he sat there in shock. “Not gonna kiss me back?” Chan mumbled as he pulled away, his hand going up to brush over Jisung’s cheek, “I’ll stop if—”

Before he could finish, Jisung reconnected their lips, his arms wrapping around Chan’s waist to pull him closer. Chan chuckled against Jisung’s lips, feeling his fiery passion emanating from the kiss and how much he’d probably been longing for this moment to happen… so it was finally confirmed that Jisung did in fact like Chan.

The two gasped for air as Jisung finally pulled away, still slightly appalled by what had just happened. Did this mean… Chan liked him too?

“I guess… you really are a virgin, huh?” Chan teased upon noticing the slight tent in Jisung’s pants, likely from their brief make-out session, “I believe you now.”

“Yah…” Jisung whined as he turned away from Chan, embarrassed, and covered his crotch area with his hands.

“What? I didn’t say it was a bad thing. You’re young, better to save it for the right person anyways.”

“And what if… I think that person is you?” Just after Jisung said that, he regretted it; that wasn’t at all how he planned to confess to Chan. He imagined it being much smoother and more romantic.

“Is that so?” Chan grinned, “Well, if you think so, I’d definitely love to be that person for you.”

“R-really? I mean… not just the sex part, though… I actually… really like you, Chan-hyung.”

“I know, and I like you, too, Jisung.”

Jisung had the biggest smile plastered onto his face at the sound of Chan’s words, tempted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Chan really just told him that he liked him back and this was the first time they spent any time together after their last hang out when he first came out. It was a little hard for him to believe but he also didn’t think Chan would lie to him, especially about something as sensitive as romantic feelings.

His thoughts were interrupted by the cart door being opened by one of the park attendants, who then gestured for them to exit the ride. The two boys bowed slightly, thanking the person as they stepped out of the cart and started making their way back to the van. Jisung was still speechless and lost in his thoughts as they walked and Chan could tell; he didn’t want to interrupt though, so he let him be, following close behind until they finally arrived back in the parking lot. By the time they left, it was past 8 and so when they got back to Jisung’s place, it was almost 9.

“Hyung…” he started, catching Chan by surprise as he parked the van up against the curb.

“Hm?” he replied, turning his head to face Jisung, “Is something wrong?”

“Um… there’s something I wanna try…” he stated shyly, eyes falling to the floor as he awaited Chan’s response.

“Alright, what is it?”

Jisung was hesitant about answering, but he really just dug his own grave. He already brought it up so there was no running away now. “Uh well… do you think we could um… go in the back seat first?”

“Oh?” Chan questioned, cocking his head at Jisung who looked quite embarrassed, “Yeah, that’s fine with me.” Chan smirked to himself knowingly as he got out of his seat and met Jisung in the back seat and shut the door behind him. He didn’t know exactly what Jisung wanted to do but he could definitely assume the premise of it. “So, what is it you wanted to try?”

Jisung froze, staring at Chan as he tried to build up enough courage to share his request, but he kept having second thoughts. He couldn’t help but think it’d be strange and abrupt to just ask Chan to make out with him again, and on top of that he’d probably end up thinking Jisung was desperate. After that little taste Chan gave him on the ferris wheel though, he just couldn’t get it out of his mind; he wanted to feel it again but this time longer, more passionate, and maybe it could even lead to more if he was lucky… he didn’t carry a condom with him at all times for nothing.

After waiting in silence for too long, Chan snickered before finally breaking the silence, “Let me guess… it has something to do with what happened on the ferris wheel.” Scooting closer, Chan placed a hand on Jisung’s thigh, his other hand going up to caress Jisung’s face, thumb brushing over his smooth, rosy cheek.

Jisung barely nodded, eyes wide with anticipation in hopes that Chan would be the one to initiate it again. He barely made out a grin forming on Chan’s lips when he let his eyes flutter shut, waiting to feel the amazing feeling he felt on the ferris wheel for the second time.

For a moment, Chan only looked at him in amusement; it was adorable how Jisung became so reliant when he was nervous, but he was almost certain now that he knew what Jisung wanted. Leaning in, Chan finally pressed his plump lips against Jisung’s, earning himself a little gasp from the younger boy. The hand he had upon Jisung’s face, soon shifted instead to the nape of his neck sending chills down his spine while the hand on his thigh slowly inched higher and higher, giving him light squeezes in between. He could feel his insides tingling from the combination of sensations he was feeling and to add to that, Chan slipped his tongue into Jisung’s mouth without any warning, making his breath hitch in his throat.

Jisung could feel the crotch of his pants starting to tighten again, his burning desire for Chan building up again and intensifying, far exceeding what he felt on the ferris wheel. He never knew that he could be so attracted to a guy in this way, or any way really, it made him want to do everything with Chan and he couldn’t get enough of his touch.

Reaching for the hand on his thigh, Jisung did something completely unexpected; he wasn’t sure if it was his hyperactive libido acting or if he was just that comfortable with Chan now, but before he could even think about it, he had dragged Chan’s hand further up his leg until it finally landed on his bulging erection. He felt Chan smirk against his lips before slightly pulling away to speak. “I didn’t know you could be so bold,” Chan chuckled, fingers curling around Jisung’s girth as much as his pants allowed.

As much as Jisung wanted to reply, his brain was too overwhelmed to form words, only a soft moan slipping out of his mouth in response to the new sensation. Even with clothes in between, Chan’s hands just felt so damn good and he couldn’t get enough of it. “Hyung,” he whimpered, gripping Chan’s bicep to brace himself, “Y-you… can do what you want… t-to me.”

“Are you sure?” Chan asked, momentarily halting his movements.

Nodding his head, Jisung desperately urged his hips upwards, wanting Chan to continue his glorious fingerwork. “I trust you.”

Chan grinned in acknowledgement before proceeding to touch Jisung again. “Okay. I’ll go easy on you… since you’re a virgin.”

“Yah… you always make fun of me,” Jisung whined, inhaling sharply as Chan began toying with his head, “Have you done it before or something?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, pausing his hand movements again to undo Jisung’s pants, “And I only make fun of you because I think you’re cute.”

Jisung felt his face heating up again at Chan’s words, eyes glued to Chan’s hands to avoid his gaze. Did he really just call me… cute? I must be dreaming…

The air felt cool around Jisung’s throbbing cock as Chan pulled down his briefs, letting it free, precum starting to seep from the tip in anticipation. Chan skillfully spread the substance around with his thumb before wrapping his fingers around his shaft, slowly beginning to pump him.

Jisung struggled to hold in his moans, the skin on skin contact of Chan’s hand on him presenting a new degree of pleasure that he’d never felt on his own. He honestly imagined it’d feel comparable to masturbating, but there was just something about Chan’s touch that felt so much better, though, he couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was exactly. He’d barely done anything, and Jisung already felt like his end was nearing.

“Feel good, Sungie?” Chan smirked against his ear, gently nipping at it before pressing a few kisses along his jaw and down his neck.

“Fuck,” Jisung groaned, face scrunched as he tried to fight back his orgasm, wanting to hold on to the blissful feeling Chan was giving him just a little longer.

“You’re close aren’t you?” he mumbled into his neck, fingers sliding up to play with his slick, sensitive head, “Just relax.”

“God, Chan-” Jisung gritted his teeth as he clenched onto Chan’s shirt sleeve, feeling his insides starting to tingle. He was holding on to his composure by only a single thread, but Chan had other plans, showing him no mercy as he suddenly picked up speed making Jisung gasp. “Chan I’m—”

Before he could even finish his sentence, and intense pleasure erupted throughout his body, making him tense up as his head fell forward, hair covering the profanities that he mouthed as he spilled his hot seed. Chan hovered his hand over Jisung’s member to prevent the substance from shooting onto his clothes, instead letting it drip down his hand and accumulate in one place. Once Jisung finished riding out his high, Chan kicked out a tissue box from under the seat to clean up the mess, while Jisung attempted to catch his breath and collect himself before doing anything else.

“That was… amazing,” Jisung mumbled, slumped back in his seat with his eyes still closed.

“I’m glad,” Chan smiled as he wadded up the used tissues and tossed them into the front cup holder to discard later.

Wearily, Jisung turned his head, staring at Chan through his hooded lids before his gaze fell down to Chan’s crotch.

“Hyung! You’re hard,” Jisung gasped, reaching down to cup his bulging erection when he was abruptly stopped by a firm grip on his wrist.

“You should go,” Chan spoke solemnly, a glint of worry in his eyes, “Changbin is probably waiting for you.”

“But Chan!” Jisung whined, “After you did that for me… I have to return the favor…”

“Another time, Jisung… it’s 9:30 already.”

“But—”

Pressing his lips to Jisung’s, he quickly shut him up, but the kiss was brief as he still stood by his earlier words. “Go,” he said again as he pulled away, quickly opening the side door and hopping out after, “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Jisung was sad to leave, but he knew Chan was right. Changbin was home alone, sick for literally the entire day because Jisung wanted to spend time alone with Chan. He hated to admit it, but it was an extremely selfish decision and he didn’t even want to think about how Changbin probably felt; he knew it’d make him feel even more guilty than he already did.

When Jisung stepped into the apartment, he found Changbin sitting on the couch watching TV, completely unphased by his arrival.

“Wow. Aren’t you late,” Changbin remarked, his focus never leaving the tv as he spoke.

“Y-yeah, I guess… a little?” Jisung said nervously as he took off his shoes and set them aside.

“So, how was your date?”

“W-what? What do you mean?”

“Stop playing innocent already. It’s getting annoying.”

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw the damn van parked outside at least twenty minutes ago, don’t lie to me! What the hell were you doing in there for twenty minutes?! or maybe even longer, I don’t know!”

“I…” Shit.

|| Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 ||

5 notes · View notes

ellana-ravenwood · 5 years

Text

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3. So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it.

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now.

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice.

Salt.

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross.

Tequila.

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch.

Lemon.

The last of the Wincing.

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again.

Damn. This was good.

Well, actually, it was disgusting.

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever.

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon.

But it was still good.

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries.

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart.

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was).

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you.

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ?

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots.

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds.

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute.

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time.

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen).

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence.

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment.

Broken glass.

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was.

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude.

There was glass everywhere.

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune.

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ?

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting.

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it.

A guy.

Not just any guy.

You saw that guy before.

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !!

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities).

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore.

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ?

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving.

“…Outch.”

Oh. He spoke.

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something.

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine.

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon.

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks.

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road.

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge.

“Tough day ?”

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell).

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream.

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared.

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet.

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself.

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be.

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation.

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope.

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself).

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ?

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago.

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”.

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage.

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says :

“Wow.”

************

So. This was surreal.

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood.

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well.

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened.

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily.

“Nooooooo !?!”

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.”

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!”

“What an ass.”

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.”

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?”

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.”

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping :

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.”

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily.

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break :

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…”

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot.

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care).

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ?

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot.

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch. It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines !

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up.

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex.

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is.

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened.

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him.

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ?

He tries to lighten up the mood and says :

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird….

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say :

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.”

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.”

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.”

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?”

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.”

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?”

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…”

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.”

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.”

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said.

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe.

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful.

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before.

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says :

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…”

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.”

“I guess…I never thought about it.”

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.”

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.”

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.”

“I heard you kill criminals.”

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…”

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk.

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon. Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots.

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”.

“She was a wise woman.”

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about.

“Who ?”

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.”

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.”

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.”

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?”

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?”

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?!

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?”

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?”

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?”

Jason hiccups slightly, and says :

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.”

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things.

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together.

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy.

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy.

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least.

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.

Your heart wasn’t broken.

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken.

“My heart isn’t broken.”

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot.

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”.

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere.

Nope.

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love.

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation.

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope.

Nope. Not because of this.

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you.

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok.

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons.

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex.

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all.

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you.

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it.

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you).

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking.

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened.

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons.

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles).

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong.

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk.

You were just…Special.

************

It was surreal. The all thing.

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life.

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed.

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened.

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening.

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting.

Sharing your anger and frustration.

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you.

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name.

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone.

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons.

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go.

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued.

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture…

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again.

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again.

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before.

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not.

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting.

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right.

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone.

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out.

And the tequila is all gone.

************

…

Days pass by in a blur.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget.

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of.

This entire night was weird anyway.

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ?

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*.

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?!

You open your door quickly, and…

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.”

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes.

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans.

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet.

“Yeah, you did…come in.”

************

Jason Todd.

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago.

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together.

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne.

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized.

Jason Todd.

Now you know his name.

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”.

Jason Todd.

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends.

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you.

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best.

Jason. Todd.

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says :

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”

You smile.

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you.

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake.

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to.

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you :

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”)

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.”

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging.

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3.

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theclanscript · 5 years

Text

the five keys to im changkyun

⋈ pairing: changkyun x reader ⋈ word count: 4,361 ⋈ genre: fluff/mild angst ⋈ notes: happy birthday, changkyun. i love you endlessly ♥

1. He has a strict No Bullshit Policy

Im Changkyun was intimidating.

Or distracted. You weren’t sure. He was staring directly at you, his dark eyes piercing into yours, but you couldn’t tell if he was looking right through you or straight into you. He didn’t smile much, hadn’t really all night except for when you had walked into the restaurant and he had waved from where he was waiting for you. You figured this wasn’t a good sign for a first date, but right now you felt like you knew nothing, neither about dating nor about Changkyun.

The date had been set up by mutual friends, so of course you knew the basic details – age, occupation, the fact that he had spent some of his life abroad. You knew his name, obviously, and that, according to your friends, he was hardworking, funny, and nice enough (their words, not yours).

Now you could put not very talkative onto the list.

He asked short but pointed questions, somehow getting you to talk about yourself and your life nonstop without even realizing it. You had told him everything about your school, your job, your hobbies, your family’s dog. Except for the dog and your preference for dark and eerie stories nothing seemed to have piqued his interest. Meanwhile, you felt like you were forgetting if his name was Changkyun or Changkyeon because of how little he was revealing about himself.

You glanced at your watch. Only twenty minutes had passed since you had arrived and it seemed like you were already running out of first-date-topics. You also realized that a movie about your life would most likely be a rather short film.

“I’m sorry, are you in a rush?”

Your head snapped up and your eyes met Changkyun’s unchanged stoic gaze. You felt yourself blushing.

“N-no. It just seems like I’m the only one talking and I felt a little bad.”

“Don’t.” The corner of Changkyun’s mouth twitched. “I’m just trying to get past the surface so we can talk about the important things.”

You blinked, taken aback. Too confused to feel your own nervousness anymore, you sat back in your chair, crossing your arms, and stared at him.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Sure.” Changkyun leaned back the same way you just had but his hands remained on the table between you. “I don’t care about your school or your work.”

“That’s nice,” you snorted sarcastically.

“What I mean is,” he continued, completely undeterred, “of course I want to know what you do, but that’s not what I want to talk about to get to know you. I won’t fall in love with you because of what you do. I want to know who you are.”

“But isn’t what I do part of who I am?” you argued, trying hard to ignore the way your heart had fluttered at his last sentence. Mentally, you were still adding to the list: a little complicated, but cute.

“Interesting.” Changkyun grinned at you. “Please demonstrate.”

“For example, it could tell you that I love books.”

“Most people love books, or will claim that they do.”

“Or what my goals for the future are.”

“But I won’t know if you’ll achieve those goals until that future comes. It doesn’t tell me much about who you are now.”

“It tells you that I have dreams.”

“It tells me that you can afford to dream.”

You were stunned. Not because of the way he obnoxiously shot down every point you made, but because you were starting to see his. A little begrudgingly you added quick-witted and blunt.

“Fine.” You gestured to the waiter to get you another bottle of soju. “Since you want to talk about the important things, how about you start asking the important questions.”

You thought you saw surprise flash across Changkyun’s face before his grin grew wider.

“All in?” he asked and you nodded.

“All in.”

“Okay. What do you think is the worst thing you can do to a person? Aside from obvious things like murder and violence and all that.”

You used the time it took Changkyun to fill both of your glasses to think about your answer. You clinked your glass to his and emptied it in one sip.

“Leaving someone hanging. You know, leaving them wondering.”

Changkyun set his glass down, obviously intrigued. “How do you mean?”

You shrugged and reached for the bottle, smirking when you could hear him chuckle.

“Well played.”

“I mean just disappearing out of someone’s life suddenly,” you explained while pouring another round. “Not gradually, especially if it’s mutual. And not even if it’s someone you’ve only known a couple of weeks or whatever. But when you’re close and the other person is trying to get in touch and you just ignore them, making them wonder if it was them or you or what.” You looked up at him. “Or if you just died.”

Changkyun made a sound somewhere between choking and laughing. “So, ghosting?”

“I guess,” you said, although it felt deeper than that.

“You been ghosted then?” Changkyun lifted his glass and you hit it with yours, hard.

“One too many times, my friend.”

“It’s a wound that doesn’t heal easily,” he agreed and watched you take your shot before drinking himself. You pointed at him with your glass still lodged between your thumb and middle finger.

“Wounds can only heal once you stop bleeding. Hearts can only heal once you stop wondering.”

Changkyun looked at you quietly, intently, differently, as if he had lost the ability to look past the barrier right behind your eyes. As if just five minutes ago he had thought that a map of you had been lying in front of him for him to study freely, but with just a few words from the deepest, darkest corner of your soul, the map had been set aflame and now all he could do was stare at the ashes.

“Did you learn that in school or at your job?” he asked challengingly once he had recovered from the shock of breaking through the surface.

“I already took your point so stop mocking me,” you replied, maybe a little harsher than you had intended. Changkyun nodded softly and leaned forward, his hands moving as well, moving closer to yours. Somehow this made you nervous again, made you feel like he was closing in on you, made you realize that no version of you – the versions you were around friends, family, employers, classmates – would be able to make it through this date. Changkyun required a new version, a rawer, more straightforward, more vulnerable version of you. There was no room for white lies and shallow emotions, no space for anything that wasn’t completely and unadulteratedly you.

You poured both of you another drink.

“So, how’s your heart been recently?” you asked and Changkyun seemed oddly pleased at your invasive question. He clinked his glass to yours and twenty minutes turned into one hour, and then two, and before you knew it night turned into day and the bright sunlight stung in your eyes as you and Changkyun exited the restaurant. He put his jacket around your shoulders as he searched the empty streets for a taxi to send you home in.

Well-mannered. Kind. Interesting.

“I really want to see you again,” he suddenly said and turned to you. “Can I call you?”

“Please do,” you smiled, pulling his jacket tighter around your body. The stench from the smoky restaurant mixed with his cologne and somehow you couldn’t think of a more comforting smell in the crisp morning air. Changkyun was still looking at you, his eyes devoid of all mocking and mischief.

“You’re a fascinating person.”

You gave a hollow laugh. “You’re probably the first person to think that.”

He stepped even closer. “It’s their loss for not getting to know who. you. are.” He emphasized every one of the last three words with a light touch of his index finger to your forehead. Then, his fingertips slowly wandered down the side of your face until his palm rested on your cheek, firm and warm. You could feel his hot breath on your face and his gaze still desperate to explore every corner of you, inside and out. You fell into him without hesitation, closing your eyes when his other arm readily caught you and held you close to him.

Honest. Caring. Broken.

A damn good kisser.

2. You will discover many unexpected sides to him

“Babe?” Changkyun dropped his backpack in the hallway and kicked off his shoes. He listened into the apartment, and when there was no reply he tried again. “Baby?”

He let out a quiet hmph before thinking to check his phone for messages.

Stopped to get groceries on the way back, be there soon!

A sudden giddiness overcame Changkyun. He was alone. In your apartment. For the first time. It had only been about three months since you had started dating (117 days since he had kissed you on your first date – an app on his phone kept count of all your firsts, even though he would rather die than show you), and only two weeks since you had presented him with the code to your home. Just in case. You hadn’t specified what that case might be. Just in case you were running late, like today? Just in case he suddenly got the urge to see you in the middle of the night and didn’t want to ring you out of bed?

Just in case he was going to move in in the future?

Changkyun walked into the empty kitchen to get a glass of water, then he walked into the empty bedroom to get a change of clothes from the part of the closet you had cleared for him. He already was very comfortable in your apartment – it looked like you, smelled like you, felt like you. It put him at ease, made him feel safe, made him feel at home.

Everything about you did.

He shed himself of his clothes in the bedroom, leaving them in the hamper next to your closet. Then, he walked naked into the bathroom – a habit he had considered leaving at the dorm but so far you hadn’t complained. It did, however, tend to interfere with him – and you – going about your respective business way more often than it did at the dorm.

Changkyun put the change of clothes on the toilet seat and turned to the shower. He fleetingly remembered that you had had some issue with the hot water and briefly considered calling you to ask if it had been fixed. But then he noticed that he had left his phone in the bedroom and laziness took over – he would find out soon enough.

You walked into the door just as the blood-curdling scream echoed through all parts of Seoul south of the river. A little panicked, you dropped your bags and barely managed to get your boots off of your feet before stumbling into the hallway to start looking for its origin.

“Changkyun?” you called out, instinctively heading toward the bathroom. The door was unlocked so you just barged in, finding him standing on your bath mat looking like a drowned rat. He was trying to wrap himself into a towel and it only took one second for you to realize what had happened.

“Cold water?” you asked and he gritted his teeth at you.

“Freezing water.”

You opened your mouth to tease him a little, but a violent knock on the door stopped you. Giving Changkyun one last amused look, you trotted back to the entrance and opened the door to an alarmed lady who lived two doors down.

“Is everything okay?” she asked breathlessly. “I heard a woman scream.”

The corners of your mouth rose slowly as you processed the words.

“Yes, I apologize,” you replied, already dying to tell Changkyun about the exchange. “That was just my boyfriend. He forgot about the water.”

“Your boy-“ the lady started but then cleared her throat. “The water, yes. Yes.”

You watched her shuffle back toward her own apartment and closed the door. Changkyun was standing a few feet behind you, dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, idly toweling his hair dry. From the look on his face you could tell that he had heard every word.

“Don’t you dare,” he growled. You laughed lightly, walked over to him, and kissed his ice-cold lips.

“Come on, lady screams,” you giggled and ushered him toward the kitchen. “I’ll make us a nice, hot stew.”

3. He will never let you see him cry

It was past 2 am when the unrelenting vibrations of your phone tore you from a deep sleep. Behind you was a late shift at work that had kept you from your bed until well after midnight, ahead of you an 8 am lecture. And in between those two things was Kihyun’s name stubbornly claiming its place on your display. With a groan you accepted the call and put the phone to your ear.

“Someone better be dead.”

There was a short pause. “No.”

He sounded tired and solemn, and you sighed. He probably hadn’t even picked up on the fact that you were joking.

“What’s up?”

“It’s Changkyun.”

You sat up straight in your bed. Suddenly you were wide awake, your heart beating in your throat.

“What happened?”

You could almost hear the shrug through the line. “You know how he gets. I think he got some bad news from home. He just up and left without a word.”

“Did you try calling him?”

“Yes. His phone’s off.”

You were halfway out of bed. “I’m gonna go look for him.”

“And where are you going to start?” Kihyun countered, his voice strained with worry and exhaustion. You sank back against your pillow.

“Then why did you call me, Kihyun?”

“I- I don’t know,” he stuttered. “I just thought you should know. You’re his – you know.”

“His special friend?”

“Well, yeah, that too,” his voice reflected the soft, amused smile playing on his lips, “But more importantly, you get him. Also, it’s nice to know someone worries about him as much as I do.”

You chuckled. “I could never love him the way you guys do.”

“Shut up.”

There was another short pause. You could feel the pain spreading in your chest, the pain of not knowing, the pain of doubting yourself, the pain of love. Sometimes you still felt like Changkyun wasn’t opening up all the way, like he kept part of himself hidden. And you were afraid that it was because of you, that you were lacking in a way that made him shut you out. You weren’t naïve enough to think that you could ever truly and completely know someone. But you also knew that certain things that people tried to keep hidden for whatever reasons had a tendency to descend on a relationship with a vengeance – it was only a matter of time.

“Are you still there?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed hard. “Please let me know as soon as-“

You looked up when the bedroom door opened. Your heartbeat fastened for a second before you registered the thin, shadowy figure that had just slipped into the room was none other than your not-so-long-lost boyfriend.

“Kihyun,” you said in a low voice, “we’re okay.”

“Okay,” came Kihyun’s brief answer before he hung up the phone. You placed your own device on the nightstand and silently watched as Changkyun took off his sweater and jeans. Without a word, he crawled into bed next to you and pulled the covers over both of your bodies. Then, he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your chest, his breath warm against your skin through the cotton of your shirt.

“Changkyun?” you whispered eventually but only got a shake of the head in response. Knowing better than to push him, you found a comfortable position and draped one arm around his back while the hand of the other arm found his soft hair. You stroked his head gently, the utter silence in your bedroom only interrupted by occasional yawns and ragged sighs.

After a few minutes, you could feel the fabric underneath Changkyun’s face getting damp, his hot tears burning their way through your chest, drowning your heart. You held on to him tighter so he could feel you, so he knew you were there, knew that you knew. Knew that you would give anything to be able to absorb his feelings and lock them away in your own body so they could never torture him again.

You knew he would do the same for you.

“Changkyun?” you breathed, locks of his hair curled around your fingertips. “Can you look at me?”

“No. Not yet,” he replied, his deep voice muffled by your shirt and his restraint.

“Okay,” you said, and you truly felt like it was. There were things Changkyun was still keeping from you, for reasons beyond your understanding. But they were becoming fewer and fewer with every passing week, every passing day, every passing moment. There was still so much to learn about Im Changkyun and that was okay.

You had time.

4. His love language needs no words

Words sometimes did not come easy for Changkyun. Lyrics flowed out of him like a mountain spring, as did the strings of curse words when he was losing to Minhyuk in some game or other. But there were things that he just could not say easily, or rather, they sounded empty in his ears and tasted stale on his tongue. He never said things like your hair looks nice or that is a pretty shirt. When he did use words, they were the kind that took you by surprise and shook you to the core. They were accompanied by passionate looks and, more often than not, painfully intimate gestures regardless of your surroundings. Changkyun knew how to make you dizzy with only a few words and a hand too low on your hip and his lips too close to your ear. You were aware that he usually did this to tease you, rile you up in public so he could take you home as soon as possible and let his body show you all the ways he appreciated you.

Changkyun was oh so good at expressing himself without words.

The way he kissed your cheek as a silent thank you or how he pulled you into a tight embrace when you came through the front door with a weary look on your face and slouching shoulders; welcome home, baby. You did great today.

When you helped him clean his studio, he would mumble an almost inaudible be right back, only to come back fifteen minutes later with take-out food and your favorite from the coffee shop around the corner. And although he claimed that he did not care for birthdays and their tacit requirements, he often came back from tour – or just from a trip to the store – with a book he knew you had been looking for, or a piece of jewelry with your birthstone, or simply your favorite candy from every country he regularly visited.

All of those things were small testaments to his feelings, sweet reminders that he cared and thought about you wherever he went. And you appreciated this, much more so than grand but artificial gestures whose impact was ultimately just as short-lived as the flowers that usually accompanied them. Changkyun’s style may have been a bit more muted and practical, but it was real, it was true, it was him.

And that was all you ever wanted.

“What’s wrong?” you asked when you noticed him staring at you from the other side of the sofa. You were both curled up underneath the same blanket watching a movie. He had just returned from Thailand early that morning and you had spent the entire day in bed, catching up on sleep and catching up on love. Now you were both in a weird state of exhaustion and relaxation, and neither of you was paying all that much attention to the TV, but that was okay because you were together.

“Nothing.” Changkyun sat up abruptly and less than a second later he was hovering above you, looking down at you with all the yearning, all the craving of the past few weeks. You smiled up at him and ran a hand through his hair.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Changkyun chuckled and locked you into a tight hug, his weight pressing you into the soft cushions. You sighed contentedly and wrapped your arms around him, feeling his heart beat against your chest. He pressed his lips to the skin of your neck.

“I missed you,” you whispered against his shoulder.

“I love you,” he replied, his mouth finding yours.

You melted into the kiss, and even though they were nice to hear, Changkyun really did not need words to tell you how much he loved you.

5. He will need you to never give up on him

Changkyun would never tell you, but his strategy for first dates had failed one or two (or maybe three) times before he had met you. The girls had been put off by his bluntness, his roughness, his prying questions and prying eyes. He wasn’t one to play in shallow waters, he wanted to dive deep and never come back up for air. And then you had come into his life.

And he had gladly drowned in you.

Changkyun never told you outright, but you were his anchor, his beacon in the night, the one to keep the demons at bay.

At least most of the time.

There had been occasions when he had neglected to text and call you on tour, when he had missed dates and other engagements because his head was stuck in his music and his body in his studio. There had been forgotten birthdays and broken promises, and more times when he had withdrawn into himself than he was proud of. He had seen the hurt in your eyes when he had shut you out, had heard the doubts in your voice when you had asked him questions he was not going to give you any answers to – was unable to give you answers to. He knew he worried you when he wandered around the apartment at ungodly hours or stayed out without calling.

He knew he had ruined quite a few of your days, and even more of your nights.

Changkyun knew how people felt about him. That his thoughts were bent out of shape, crooked, impossible to understand – many had told him as much in an attempt to fix him. But you had never tried to straighten them out; instead you had given them new names: unique, captivating, beautiful.

And for that he loved you. Would always love you. Had always loved you.

Even if it hadn’t seemed like it sometimes.

Even now, years after your first meeting in that small restaurant, Changkyun thought you were the most fascinating person he had ever met. Every day with you still felt like an incredible adventure; he was still exploring you, charting you, putting the specks of ashes back together one by one, and he loved every minute of it. He could spend hours trying to figure out why – despite all the pain he caused you, despite all the things he had done wrong – you were still with him.

And then he would spend even more time being petrified by the thought of you leaving.

He knew that his heart would never stop wondering.

Maybe the reason why the thought scared him so profoundly was because he knew that if he lost you once, he would not deserve a second chance. You were so much kinder and smarter, so much more wonderful than even you realized.

Changkyun pitied anyone who didn’t take the time to get to know who you were beyond your school and your job and all the things anyone with eyes could see. At the same time, he loved that he was the only one who knew you. He had witnessed all the versions of you, but the one you were with him was his favorite – raw and vulnerable and his.

Yet, the fear of losing you was haunting him way past the boundaries of the waking hours. Every so often, you would wake up to him mumbling your name in his sleep, tossing and turning in the confinements of a distressing dream. He would only settle down when your hand closed around his arm, your mouth close to his ear.

“I’m here, Changkyun,” you would whisper, gently, knowingly. “It’s okay, babe. I’m here.”

You smiled down at him when his head lulled to the side and his body followed to face you. At first the dreams had worried you, but soon you had realized that it was just another window into the soul of Im Changkyun. It pained you to know that he even had thoughts of losing you, and that they tormented him as much as they did. But it was nothing you couldn’t overcome, nothing to worry about. Things weren’t always easy with Changkyun, but you wouldn’t change a thing.

You loved Changkyun for everything he was and everything he wasn’t, and you loved him for the way he loved you, loved you for who you were, truly and completely. His fears didn’t trouble you; after all, all you had to do was stay by his side and show him how perfect and precious he was to you.

You looked down at the engagement ring on your finger; the thin silver band with your birthstone and the date of your first date engraved in it.

The day I started to fall in love with you.

And I haven’t stopped since.

You lay back down and marveled at his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful now, anchored by your presence, his demons out of sight, out of mind.

Yes, you were going to be okay.

You had time. You had love.

And you had Changkyun.

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ryncorrect · 5 years

Text

university!au: day6 jae

following my uni!au with young k (idk how to link my own post asbajdnskmd im Dumb) so here another one with jae lol i think im gonna make one for each one of them buttttttt no promise bc my brain works in a very mysterious way LOL

anyway leggo

warning: this is lame lmaooooo

name: park jaehyung / jae

major: politic science

other activities: guitarist (and sometimes vocalist) of university band, member of music club, founder and leader of LOL SQUAD

everyone knows that tall skinny guitarist of the band i mean he’s hard to ignore tbh

he always wears loose T-shirt, ripped jeans, a cap that he puts backward, and round big specs to campus

professors hate his ripped jeans but can’t really say anything because oh well style doesn’t define someone’s grades and boy, does this kid actually get some braincells in him

well i mean at least he never fails his classes

he has this giant LOLSQUAD badge on his backpack because he’s proud af of his title as the club founder and leader

he actually started that club so he could to brag about his gaming skill to everyone who wanted to listen but he ends up getting his ass handed to him every single time they play together smh

if he’s not in class or hanging out with his game buddies, he can be seen following that Popular Student™ kang younghyun or as jae prefers to call him, “brian” or “brIBRI” because they both joined music club and are in the band

yes yes he’s well known and easy to spot

but…

“jae? park jaehyung?? who???”

everyone refers to him as “that foreigner student”, “the American guy” or “the gamer guy”, or my favorite: “chicken little”

i will never let that joke die im sorry but seriously he looks like chicken when he plays his guitar on the stage don’t @ me

there are only like 5 students in the whole university who know his actual name

anyways in this scenario you’ve always been interested in playing guitar but haven’t gotten a chance to learn and your friend kim wonpil invites you to join music club so you’ll have friends to practice with

“you know our jaehyungie, right? he’s really chill, you’ll get along well with him!!”

deep inside you’re like

who the heck is jaehyung

but wonpil is so excited to have you there so the next week you come to the club meeting

you introduce yourself to everyone and finally you meet him

“ohmygod the chicken little!!”

“whO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING THAT”

“sorry- i mean the chicken guitarist- wait no-”

he glares at you, you laugh instead

scaring the new member challenge: failed

but yeah you’d seen him performing before and honestly you almost decided to become his fan

a l m o s t

at first he (jokingly) refuses to teach you guitar because you called him chicken little

and since then you keep calling him that just to mess with him

“hi chicken little”

“what’s poppin chicken little”

“why do you look so flustered, chicken little? do i make you nervous??”

he turns red chicken little is now an angry bird “gO AWAY NEWBIE YOU’RE SO ANNOYING”

jae’s a foreigner but he speaks fluent korean

he tells you that even though he was born and grew up in america he always speaks the language with his parents

but of course since he lives abroad there are lots of words or slang he doesn’t know, so you gotta be an ass and slip some difficult words when you speak to him

he gets his revenge by replying to you in english

whenever you two are having an argument (usually over stupid things) everyone in the club suddenly gets headache

wtf they’re not even making any sense

besides music, jae is the most excited when talking about LOL or social topics because well his major

honestly idk much about politic science so cmiimw

one time someone asks for his opinion about social welfare and he ends up starting a sudden debate session with the said person about social welfare programs in south korea and america and the difference between both countries

you mention human rights and he sNAPS

i mean he gives a full 15 mins speech about it

“yknow what im sayin?”

“dude… i honestly don’t get it at all”

because he be speaking in full english like wat

he’s just so passionate about everything it’s almost adorable

a l m o s t

and it’s not only his passion but also his small eyes, his laugh, his voice, or the way he occasionally lifts his head to look at you while playing guitar and you smile and he smiles because you smile first shnshsbshs soft

even the corners of his lips are so cute wow

oh fuck im emo i love him

but you adore him just as a good friend

he’s always been bubbly and friendly with everyone, not just you, so yeah it’s really easy to fall for him but you assure yourself that you’re nOT

are we having “in denial” shit again omg im so uncreative

anyway fast forward it’s ur birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY

you decide to throw a small party at your place and invite 5 or 6 of your closest friends but damn on the d-day it rains so hard

if ur bday falls on winter then change it to snowing hard, if it’s spring then maybe there’s strong wind or something, whatever suits you fam lol

so no one comes to your party lol you are Sad

BUT THEN!!!! JAE SHOWS UP!!!!!

PARK JAEHYUNG

OUT OF ALL PEOPLE

no you didn’t invite him because idk

are we really that close??? ehhhh he probably won’t come anyway haha why bother

BUT!!!! HE SHOWS UP!!! IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!!!

he’s carrying an umbrella but it didn’t really help apparently because he’s soaking wet

imagine that view i mean nvm

“i happened to be near here and i remember it’s your birthday today so i think i’m gonna drop by to say hi and suddenly it’s raining too hard on the way but anyway happy birthday can you let me in first i’m cold”

ofc you let jae in i mean we can’t let the chicken catch the flu amirite

but you warn him that he’ll have to leave before 11 or your RA will kick you both out the dorm lol

after a towel, two cups of hot tea, and one shared piece of chocolate cake, you told him you were supposed to have a small party tonight but no one could make it because of the rain and he’s like “hOW DARE YOU HAVING A PARTY BUT NOT INVITING ME I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” and you’re just like “lol shut up chicken here eat more cake”

anyways you two spend time joking and talking about random stuff and it’s probably not the best birthday ever but at least you don’t have to spend it alone and to be honest you’re happy that he’s here

then jae pulls out his ultimate weapon

i mean his guitar

he was soaking wet but the guitar is clean and dry and all fine like hoW EVEN

“priorities” -park jaehyung

he said he gonna play a song of your choice because he came empty handed and he feels bad about it

you blush and pick whatever song comes to your mind because you can’t really think of any, and he starts strumming his guitar and sings

and while he keeps looking at you, you find yourself too can’t take your eyes off him

the song ends and you’re about to clap your hands when he suddenly starts another one

wait you’ve never heard this song before

it’s a slow song and the lyrics are all like, the sky turns dark on the birthday of the brightest star so that it’ll be the only light in his world, how he feels regretful that he has nothing to give but his small heart, and he hopes that this lovely person will hold his hand as they listen to this song together, that this lovely person will feel warm beside him

guys just imagine the song okay i can’t Romance

it’s dead silent until you whisper, “is that… a song for me?”

jae’s face turns red and he starts panicking™ like “i made up the lyrics just now okay i know it’s fricking sappy and cheesy as hell okay i just uhhh want to cheer you up!!!! because you seem kinda down!!!!! let’s not talk about this again uGh WhatEvER leT Me LIvE!!!!!”

but you chuckle and thank him, it was the best present you can get from anyone

you two stare at each other for a second that feels like years and he finally breaks the silence, “you know,,, maybe i came here on purpose,,, maybe actually i want to see you,,,”

“and why is it?”

“because i think,,, i miss you,,, kinda”

and you don’t say this out loud but maybe you do know that

even if you say you’ll never

in fact you’ve already fallen for him a bit

or perhaps a lot

like a lot

then he leans in to kiss your lips and you kiss back and it’s almost not awkward at all, it just feels right as if you’ve kissed him million times before

a l m o s t

you two still blush real hard after

but yeah that’s how you two start dating

none of you two tell anyone about it but it’s pretty obvious, i mean jae always picks you up at your dorm, he walks with you to your class or vice versa (if your classes don’t overlap tho), you two keep stealing glances at each others, also—

jae with you: “hey,,,, come here sit with me u3u,,,,, did you have lunch??? oh i wrote a song last night check this out,,,, what are you gonna do this saturday? oml you’re so cute”

jae with everyone else: “HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PRICK ALSO BRIAN FUCKING KANG IF YOU STEAL MY FUCKING FRIES AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK”

welp actually he’s not always sweet with you, sometimes you two still argue about silly things using mixed languages but now everyone in the club knows better to just run away once it begins

because it’ll end up with you two fighting or you two kissing

yes im nasty and a disappointment bye

btw wonpil is excited af it’s almost like he’s dating you both

“it’s really nice seeing you two finally together!!!!!!! especially because jaehyung really couldn’t shut up about you ever since the first day you joined our music club”

“wait wha-”

“YOU SNAKE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET FUCK OFF”

I’m so in love with park jaehyung y'all hsnshsbsh aNYWAYS!!! 100 blocks limit has lifted from tumblr app AYEEEEE

#day6 #jae #park jaehyung #day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 fanfic #day6 reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #this is embarassing smh #bye

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hoyoungy · 6 years

Text

001. Sanctioned | Jun

genre: comedy, mentions of sex, college/roommates au, friends with benefits au | jun x fem!reader summary: dating does not come easy to apartment 417. sex is even worse. well, maybe it was just you. it seems like everyone you know is able to get laid, get a date - hell, even a hug! you look sad and desperate as you wallow in your dry spell, so when your roommates soonyoung, mingyu, and minghao try to be your wingmen on a saturday night, you end up signing a no-strings-attached contract with a very familiar, but very much willing face word count: 2839 a/n: .... i know i literally just said i didn’t want to post this soon...... yet here i am..... im sorry..... warnings include swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex, dialogue-heavy, and platonic relationships

part 002

“I think I’m gonna be celibate,” you said as you plopped down on the couch next to Soonyoung. You just wasted the past couple of days talking to this guy on Tinder and you just found out he was about to graduate… high school. You would think college would be the prime time for you to find a hookup through a free dating app, but boy, were you wrong. Probably because people your age were being competent adults who didn’t need an app to talk to someone.

“You said that last week,” Soonyoung said, not looking up from his textbook on the coffee table. He knew this routine all too well.

“But I mean it this time.”

“Didn’t you also say that last week?”

“I’m sure I did.”

“Did something happen to that Felix guy on Tinder?”

“He was so young it felt illegal,” you groaned.

“Like, Chan young?”

“Younger.”

“Jesus Christ, you cradle-robber.”

“Shut up, I know, ok! It’s not my fault, he totally lied about his age!”

“I don’t know, _____, you’re not getting any younger. Who knows, maybe young guys could be your new thing? It seems to be working. I know a few people! For example, Mingyu -”

“Soonyoung, I will not begin my cradle-robbing career with Mingyu, of all people.”

“Did someone say cradle-robbing and my name in the same sentence? Is there an older woman in need?” you both heard Mingyu say as he walked through the front door. He tossed his backpack near the collection of shoes in the corner before grabbing a snack in the kitchen like he always did when he came home.

“Ugh, I can just feel my panties drying up every time you speak.”

“Words can hurt, you know.”

“Are we making fun of Mingyu again?” Minghao said as he left his room to join you all.

“I literally just got home, can’t I have a snack first?” he pouted.

“Guys, it’s 4:00 PM, which means it’s my hour to complain! If we aren’t going to follow the schedule, then this is anarchy.” You referred to the poorly-drawn clock on the dry erase board that hung in the kitchen. Every hour that struck 11 or 4, AM or PM, was your time to complain about anything and everything, and the rest of the time was divided amongst the rest of the roommates. Your complaining got so out of hand that the boys decided to punish you by giving you set hours in a day and you were sure to use up every damn second.

“Sorry, Mingyu just makes it so easy,” Minghao snorted. “So what’s up?”

“What’s up is that I haven’t had sex in six months.”

“I am eating, you penis-repellant,” Mingyu scolded with cheeks full of food.

“My God, six months? I thought six days was bad… What happened with that Sungjin guy you brought home a couple of months ago?” Soonyoung asked.

“He ended up, um… Crying…”

“About what!?”

“Bro, I don’t even know, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yikes, ok. How about Sehun from Accounting?”

“Passed out when we got home.”

“Jin from the bar?”

“Strictly a cuddler.”

“Uh, Gymhead Youngjae?”

“Pulled a muscle before the foreplay started.”

“Steven the exchange student!?”

“See, it was going well, but the language barrier was kind of a big thing -”

“Good lord, you really are a penis repellant,” Soonyoung sighed. “You’re hopeless.”

“Couldn’t even get with Steven the exchange student,” Mingyu tisked.

“Guys, what do I do ~ !?” You threw your face into the nearest pillow. The years of your youth were dwindling down with each passing second and all you wanted to do was to have some fun, but these past six months have amounted to nothing.

You couldn’t blame anyone else but yourself, though. You’ve been single your entire college career - like, never had a boyfriend, but have gone on dates and had hookups and it was all by choice. These were the best, stressless four years of your entire life. You didn’t wanted to bother with your never-ending fear of commitment, but it was starting to take a real toll on your needs. If you just sucked it up and got a boyfriend, you wouldn’t be looking like a desperate mess.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Mingyu suggested. “It’s a Saturday night, midterms are over, we’ll be each other’s wingman, and I heard Jun’s throwing a banger ~”

“Jun!?” you screeched. “Isn’t his place like, super nice?”

“Yeah, his rent is ridiculous, but that’s how all foreign exchange students are.” All at once, you, Mingyu, and Soonyoung glared at a cowering Minghao who wore his Gucci slip ons. “C’mon, we’ll get all gussied up and have fun and - oh! Let’s all match!”

“Why…”

“Uh, because we’re a squad? Duh?”

“Fine, but I only wear black when I go out. It’s slimming.”

“Agreed, it makes my cheeks look not as squishy,” Soonyoung said.

“And it makes my orange hair stick out,” Minghao nodded.

“Ugh, you’re all so boring. Black it is. And we’re leaving promptly at 10:30 PM or his infamous concoction of Moon Juice, trademark is gonna run out.”

“Guys, can you be real with me and judge my outfit?” you asked as you stepped out from your room. The other three were ready to go, sitting in the living room. They all looked in your direction with wide eyes when you came out in an all black outfit that looked too hard to breathe in. “Be honest, does this scream ‘I’m desperate, please have sex with me’ ?”

“Your shoes sort of whisper ‘I’m both desperate and old’, but the outfit is yelling into a microphone saying ‘I am ready to drop to my knees any second’,” Minghao nodded as a matter-of-factly.

“That has to be the nicest thing you have ever said to me,” you smiled. “Ok, let’s get drunk and get laid ~!”

“We sound so sad right now,” Soonyoung sighed, closing the door behind him.

“So what’s the game plan? Is there an outline? An itinerary? Syllabus, maybe? Examples from previous students last semester?”

“All I know is Mingyu’s in charge.”

“Hell yeah, I’m in charge. And the plan is that there is no plan.”

“What, how could there be no plan?” you asked.

“You can’t make plans to get laid, that takes the whole fun out of the equation! See, we’re probably going to be, like, the best looking people there, and that means we have to be the ones playing hard to get.”

“That’s the exact opposite of what I’m trying to be.”

“Lucky for you, you won’t have to try hard because you kind of make yourself hard to get already when your standards are impossibly high.”

“They are not impossibly high!”

“Didn’t you turn down a guy because he wore man-flops?”

“Yeah, but -”

“And that one guy who wore really low v-necks?” Minghao chimed.

“Ok, well -”

“Can’t forget the one guy in our Stats class who wrote with 1.0 mm pens and pencils -”

“That is a completely valid reason, Soonyoung, and you know it! No one older than ten writes with such a large diameter!” you pouted. “Ok, I get it, I’m hard to get, but why is it when I’m trying to be easy to get, I still end up in bed alone?”

“Because you go for the guys who are also naturally hard to get! That’s the number one biggest mistake we beautiful people make all the time.”

“So you want her to bring home some ugly dude whose standards are as low as a sex doll with a fleshlight installed?” Soonyoung snorted.

“No, she just has to learn to play smart and pick out the guys like us - guys that only look like we’re playing hard to get.”

“Translation, Mingyu wants to have sex with you.”

“That is also true, but we signed a No Conflict-of-Interest contract, so I begrudgingly abide by it.”

“I almost forgot about that one. We have way too many contracts.” You sighed as the four of you arrived in front of Jun’s apartment - no, loft. If it was on the very top floor of a high-rise, you’d consider it a penthouse, it was that big. The door was tall and wide, made of some steel maybe? Iron? It was the most beautiful door you’ve ever seen, like it came out of a dream apartment catalog under the industrial themed homes, right next to the rustic section.

When Mingyu opened the door, there were so many people inside that even Mingyu couldn’t see past two rows of people.

“What the hell, it’s only 10:45! Why are there so many people here!? Minghao, call him ~!”

“Way ahead of you - yah, Hyung, we just got here!” Minghao yelled over the phone. “We’ll try to get to the windows. Bring four cups of juice while you’re at it!”

The four of you squeezed through the tight crowd with Minghao taking the lead. You took the opportunity to look at potential targets, but there was way too much going on to even focus on that. Jun had lots of plants and neon signs in his loft that you felt like you were in a music video set in California by some Soundcloud DJ. They really added to his cool, rich boy ambiance, except for the one guy taking a piss in one of the plant pots.

“See anyone you like yet?” Soonyoung asked once the four of you found an empty space to chill out in.

“I feel like I don’t eat enough avocado toast and arugula to get with anyone here…” you groaned. “Also, I don’t think my prescription is bad enough? This isn’t the pregame to a poetry slam, is it?”

“Why do you always ruin everything?”

“It’s the cynicism in me.”

“Found you!” Jun slipped through in front of you pinching four red cups filled with pink liquid. After handing each of you a cup, he casually wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pressing his cheek to the top of your head. “Ah, I missed you guys ~”

“Are you drunk?” you teased.

“No, I’m drunk.”

“Good lord…”

“The host isn’t supposed to be drunk!” Minghao scolded. “You do this every time and regret it because your place gets trashed!”

“It’s fine, I scheduled the cleaning crew to come at six tomorrow morning!” Jun giggled, squeezing your shoulders tightly. “I am having a great time, are you having a great time, _____?”

“I always have a good time drinking Moon Juice.” The drink touched your lips and you immediately cringed, regretting taking such a large gulp. It tasted much stronger than the first time he ever made it when you all were eighteen - was it supposed to burn this badly going down? “Holy shit, Jun, what’s in this!?”

“Lots of Everclear. I thought the new recipe was appropriate.”

“Good, she needs more of it.” Mingyu tilted your cup upwards, forcing you to gulp more down. “C’mon, you need more liquid courage before we start.”

“Start what?”

“Our hunt. It’ll end up being a scavenge if we continue at this pace.”

“Ooh, a hunt! I want to participate,”

“Wow, ok I am definitely feeling it,” you muttered, trying not to spit out the liquid heat. “I am feel - ing it…”

“Good, now go talk to that guy over there who’s been eyeing you since you walked in.” Mingyu gently shoved you towards a shy-smiling stranger across the way and you could feel your flirty instincts mix with the alcohol.

Let the hunt begin.

“Four hours,” you sighed. “I flirted for four hours and I got nothing!”

You were the only one left in Jun’s apartment, ‘helping’ him by drinking the rest of the Moon Juice so that it doesn’t go to waste and fueling your self-hatred. The guys left earlier, walking away much luckier than you and leaving you here to rot in your misery. Jun sat beside you with a cup of his own in his hands, listening to you rant for the last thirty minutes.

“I mean, I know I’m not the sexiest woman in the world, but I like to think that I’m kind of up there on the looker-scale, you know? Am I wrong, Jun?”

“Honestly, those guys are blind, _____.”

“Thank you!”

“Both theoretically and literally. Some of them are legally blind.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

You sighed loudly again, kicking an empty cup that was on the floor in front of your feet. You tilted your head roughly to face Jun who only scowled at the mess everyone made. It was probably the alcohol talking, but in all your years of knowing Jun, you never previously appreciated how handsome he was as much as you are right now. His bone structure was so perfect and skin so clear and hair ends so kept together that you hated him for it.

“Stop looking at me like that, it’s embarrassing,” he chuckled.

“You’re just so damn perfect and I hate you.”

“See, if you were this charming earlier, you might have had someone to take home tonight! Why are you trying so hard, anyways?”

“Don’t laugh at me, ok?”

“No promises.”

“I haven’t had sex in six months.”

“Oh… Wow…” he whistled quietly, holding in his laugh. “I’m so sorry… Are you ok? Is there, like, something wrong with you, like did you have surgery or something -”

“Don’t pity me!”

“I’m not, I’m genuinely concerned for you! Do you at least play with yourself -”

“Shut up, for the love of God, don’t finish that sentence -”

“- or use toys, because if you don’t, I know a guy that sells customized ones and the quality is amazing -”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to scream.”

“Ok, ok,” he grinned. He playfully ruffled your hair when you kept the pout on your face. “Glad to see you’re still the same cute orientation leader that I met my sophomore year.”

“And you’re still the same reckless foreign exchange student that breaks the hearts of hundreds of young girls.”

“You flatter me too much.”

In the span of that short banter you and Jun shared, the two of you ended up with little-to-no space between each other on the couch. Your head fit comfortably on his broad shoulder and his soft hand felt warm as it rubbed your bare inner-thigh affectionately. His hand travelled a little higher with each stroke, sparking your interest and your core.

You knew exactly where this was headed.

“So, Jun…” you began awkwardly. “You wanna, like… you know ~”

“Good lord, is this how you’ve been asking guys to have sex with you this whole time!?” he asked. “No wonder they’ve all said no.”

“No…! I was totally cool about it when I asked…!”

“Prove it,” Jun challenged, sitting up to face you properly. “Show me how you ask to have sex.”

“Can’t you just be normal and carry me bridal-style to your room and, like, ruin me? Why do you have to test me!?”

“C’mon, _____, you know I’m not normal. I’m also trying to help you for future encounters. What if this is where your problem starts! Are you willing to risk that possibility?” Jun chuckled as you vigorously shook your head. “Good. Now show me how you ask, or we’re not doing it.”

“Ugh, you’re so weird!” you groaned, preparing your game-face reluctantly. “Ok, fine. Jun, will you ~ do the… do… with me.”

“Oh, my God, you are hopeless.”

“I am completely hopeless!” You buried your crying face into Jun’s strong, toned, and unexplainably exposed chest as he rubbed your back sincerely. “I need help!”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Jun, you need to help me.”

“Absolutely not -”

“Please, you are literally my only hope! Everyone in the apartment has done nothing to help me!”

“I’d much rather take your previous offer by just having sex with you instead,” he declared

“I mean, I assumed we were doing that anyways, but it’s not like you and I are going to keep it up after that.”

“Why not?” Jun’s smirking face leaned in close to yours so that the tips of your noses almost touched. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Are you proposing what I think you’re proposing? Because I don’t play games when it comes to deals, especially of this kind, Jun, so you better not be joking -”

“Holy shit, _____, you talk too much.”

After cutting you off, he aggressively pressed his lips to yours. He showed you that he wasn’t going to hold back tonight by shoving his tongue in your mouth and crawling on top of you on the couch. Even though you saw this coming, it didn’t stop your skin from feeling like fire wherever his hands touched you. The both of you were definitely still drunk and you both knew it when your hands messily explored each other’s bodies and struggled to remove each other’s clothes.

“Should we go to your room?” you asked breathlessly as Jun nibbled on the sensitive spot on your neck.

“Mm, no,” he muttered between kisses. “I don’t think I could wait that long.”

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kkpopdroptop · 7 years

Text

date night

you're juno's gf living in the states while he's off in south korea focusing on music and doing SMTM6

"Hey Juno!" Woodie excitedly hopped to his teammate, clapping a hand over his shoulder as they walked past the exit. "So guess what happened! I finally convinced Wonjae to get a drink with us tonight! You ready to go?"

Juno shrugged, "Go on without me, I can't tonight."

"What!" Woodie pouted, stopping in his tracks. "B-but, convincing Wonjae to get drinks with us took me forever!"

"Get drinks with Killa, Mezz or Hash, they'd be down for it." Juno suggested. Woodie stomped his foot on the ground and asked for a good reason to skip on drinks. "Ok fine, I can't come because I got a very special date with a very special lady."

"You have a date?" His friend yelled, making Juno nod in response. Woodie's expression suddenly turned excited, "A date! A date with with a real, live person?"

Another nod. Wait, should he be offended?

"Why didn't you just say so!" He began shooing Juno away from the studio, pushing him in the direction he was walking. "Go ahead, don't let me be in the way of true love!"

Juno laughed at the sudden mood change and chuckled to himself as your name popped up on his phone.

(y/n) ❤️: I'll be home in 30, be prepared for date night;)

You spritzed on your favorite perfume, smoothing out the silk of your dress and flouncing your hair a bit before running your fingers through it. You spent an hour doing our hair and makeup and now all you wanted to do was sleep now that you were done, but more importantly, there was someone waiting for you.

juno ❤️: ready whenever you are

The screen of the laptop lit up, your fingers immediately clicking on the Skype app and calling your one and only. After a couple rings, you were greeted by the handsome face of your boyfriend, "Hey Baby."

"Hey there Handsome." You smiled through the camera, your boyfriend's face coming through the screen clear as day. He looked just as handsome in a clean and crisp black button up with his hair slicked back and his face freshly shaved. You missed the smell of his aftershave, of his cologne, of his everything back in California.

But you were both sure that your long distance relationship would work out, that you weren't going to be another broken up couple with millions of miles between them.

"How's my girl doing?" He smiled, his pearly whites shining in the camera. You told him about your day at work, nothing out of the ordinary or exciting at all, so you asked him the same back. "Tired, but now that I get to see you, I'm not anymore."

You smiled as you took a bite of the pasta you made for yourself, trying to carefully not smudge your lipstick as Juno ate his meal too. You got up to get some more wine for yourself as you heard a low whistle.

"Damn, my baby be lookin' sexy just for me." Juno took in the sight of you in that silk dress, drooling over every single curve and line of you. He bit his lip and looked down for a moment, unsuccessfully trying to hide his grin.

You twirled around in your dress, the motion making the slit in the side of your left leg flaring up as you spun. You couldn't help the bashful smile on your lips as you noticed your boyfriend getting flustered.

He fixed his hair back with a happy smile as you eventually sat back down in front of your webcam, "God I just want to be with you right now and rip that dress—"

"Juno." You cut him off with a scandalized shake of your head. You felt your cheeks blush slightly as he winked at you again. Before he could insert another remark about ripping your very expensive dress off, you changed the subject, "How was Show Me the Money today?"

"Good, we had rehearsals and team bonding over food. We're filming the main battles tomorrow, so we have the rest of the day to relax and prepare. Woodie wanted me to get drinks with him and Wonjae, but I told him I had a date with a very special someone."

"You should have invited them over! I really want to meet them someday."

"Hell no, inviting them to date night? This is our thing, Baby." He grumbled. "And I already see them for eight plus hours of filming and rehearsal in between for the show."

"Not date night, but another time. I wanna meet your teammates and your friends and everyone." You picked at the last of your pasta after you finished your sentence, knowing what you just implied.

"I'll introduce you when you visit over here."

You stayed quiet for a moment before speaking up again, "That's not going to be for awhile and you know that, Juno." He always talked of you visiting him in South Korea, but you didn't want him to pay everything for your measly, small visit. You also knew your boss wouldn't let you off for two weeks, you were damn good at your job and she wasn't going to let her best worker off for more than three days.

"I told you, I'll pay for your airfare and everything and you can stay with me for a week or two till you go back! Baby, please."

You shook your head, "I told you, my boss needs me at work." Silence filled the space as you drank the last of your wine. Neither of you were looking at each other, until you spoke up again, "I miss you, and I know it sucks right now and I can't visit you, but soon, we'll be together again." You hoped for him to look up, and he did just that.

"I know."

"I'm sorry." You felt guilty for dampening the mood, for not being able to visit him, for putting him through all this. You felt your eyes water. Were you a bad girlfriend?

"Hey hey hey," he said softly, catching your attention. "You're not a bad girlfriend, don't be sorry about anything. We'll be together soon anyways."

You let out a small smile, hope and love blossoming in you chest again, "Soon."

"Soon." He nodded, staring back into the camera with the same love right back. "Love you."

"I love you too." You leaned forward, resting your chin in the palm of your hand as you just stared at him on your screen. The wine might have made you a little bit buzzed, but you were still in control of your mind and everything. You noticed Juno look down at his ringing phone, a small laugh escaping his lips before he shook his head. "What happened?"

"Woodie drunk texted me," he started, one drunk text appearing on his screen after another.

Woodie!! Gochild!!:

juNOOOOFLOOOOO, MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOEL WIFE WORLFFFFFF [9:23PM]

JUSR KIDDSING, YOU'RE BASICALLY MY HYUNGGGG [9:24PM]

YO'RE SO HANDSONE HYUNGGG,

SOORRY IM INTERRRUPTIG YORU DATE NIIGH WIT YOR GIFRLFRIEND, SHE'A A LUCKT LADY ;)))))) [9:25PM]

ALso wonjaae And hashie and killlaagamz arent here, AND I don'TTT AVE A RIDE HOMEEEEEE,, hep pleseee [9:25PM]

Juno let out a long sigh at the words of the last text, "Baby, I am so sorry." He started typing out a response to his friend, already cursing him out in his head in all the languages he knew. "But I think Woodie needs a ride home and all the guys ditched him."

"It's okay." You hiccupped. "I promise, it's alright." You emphasized, but even your boyfriend could easily tell that you were sad about ending your date early. "Make sure Woodie gets home safe."

"But Baby—"

"Hey don't feel bad for cutting off our date, Woodie's more important right now." You could sense his apprehension and the guilt in his eyes. "Even if we were out in Seoul at some fancy restaurant for date night and Woodie—or any one of your friends—called for a ride because they were too drunk to drive, I would end our date and make you drive to wherever they were to take them home."

Juno looked up at you on the screen silently, a small smile coming on his lips, "What? Their well-being matters to me too, they're your friends."

He shoved on his jacket as he continued to stare at you in amazement, a look of awe in his eyes. "Why are you such an amazing girlfriend?" He picked up his laptop and brought it over to his kitchen counter, trying to continue the call for as long as he could.

"Because I have an amazing and loving boyfriend." You confidently flipped your hair back and smirked. "Now go take care of your friends."

"Yes Ma'am." He saluted to you, you heard the jingle of his keys in his hands. "I promise to call you after I take him home."

"Good night, Mr. Westside." You teased with your nickname for him, even putting your fingers in the W-formation. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mrs. Westside." He said right back, a cheesy smile on his face.

"Bye." You added, the same cheesy grin on your lips as you clicked the red 'end call' button. The screen went black on your end, the Skype mainpage highlighting the most recent call with your boyfriend till you minimized that page and found yourself staring at your screensaver of you and him together.

Soon, you thought to yourself.

The smile on Juno's lips couldn't be erased even as he trekked all the way to his car and started for the bar Woodie was at. Thoughts of you two together filled his mind, happy memories of nights staying up late listening to his newest track, him watching you study for your classes, waking up together in the same bed and laying there for hours till your stomachs growled in unison. He loved you with all his heart and he knew you felt the same.

"Woodie! Woodie!" Juno called out, mumbling a stretch of curse words under his breath as he walked through the busy bar. He called Woodie's phone over and over till he heard the familiar ringtone at the end of the line of booths.

"Hyung!" A lone figure sat slumped in a booth, empty bottles of soju and money shoved under basket of peanuts on the table next to the ringing phone. "You're here!"

Juno helped his friend to his feet, gently draping Woodie's arm over his own shoulders, "We're going to the car, let's go home."

"Did I ruin your date? Hyung, I'm so so so sorry!" He wailed, leading to a number of spectators' eyes on them as they walked out of the bar back to the car. "I didn't mean to mess it all up for you and your date."

"You're fine, Woodie. (y/n) understands completely." He eased his friend into the passenger seat, buckling his belt and circling around to the driver's side.

"So her name's (y/n)?" Woodie sat up straighter and pursed his lips eagerly. "Tell me more about her. Do you like her? What does she look like—is she pretty? Was it love at first sight when she walked in? Are you in love with her already?" The barrage of questions came rolling through as Juno drove, each thought running in his mind becoming nothing but you.

"Yeah."

"Yeah what?"

"Yeah, I like her. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, I fell for her as soon as I saw her, and yes I'm in love with her."

#junoflo #junoflo scenarios #khh imagines #khh scenarios #my work

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Rent-a-Girlfriend – 01 (First Impressions) – This Is How It Works

I’m not usually enthusiastic about scenarios involving “fake” boyfriends and girlfriends. They can really only go two ways: the “fake” relationship gradually becomes real, or it ends with the two as good friends. That said there’s a lot of nuance between those outcomes, and Kanojo, Okarishimasu, AKA Rent-a-Girlfriend manages to tap into it.

Kinoshita Kazuya is devastated when his adorable first-ever girlfriend unceremoniously dumps him after a month—in the first thirty seconds of the episode, when he’s about to introduce her to us! I appreciated that briskness. It allows him to wallow in despair until he finds an app called DIAMOND that allows you to rent a girlfriend for 5,000 yen per hour.

He gives it a try, and to his surprise his girlfriend-for-a-day Mizuhara Kazuya is absolutely stunning, and delivers exactly what one would expect of a girlfriend-for-a-day—no more, no less. Kazuya, despite knowing full well what he bargained for, proceeds to leave a 1-star rating after hearing identical reviews.

Due in part to still being In Despair over losing his girlfriend, Mizuhara’s act is increasingly off-putting and makes him feel like a fool. It just feels so forced, empty, and pointless, and on their second date, he’s not shy about voicing those opinions even though he’s receiving precisely the service he requested and paid for!

When he becomes a little too public in his protestation of the situation, Mizuhara pulls him aside, drops the act, and lets him have a piece of her mind, revealing a bit of the Real Mizuhara (though that’s obviously not her real name). She’s super pissed by his 1-star rating (she’s only ever received 5s) and worked her ass off doing research on fish for their second date.

She has every right to be, and to his credit, Kazuya realizes he is completely in the wrong. She doesn’t owe him a damn thing. Unfortunately, the opportunity to apologize and end things there is lost when he gets a call from his parents: his grandmother has collapsed. He arrives at the hospital to learn it was nothing serious, but because his mom broughr Mizuhara in with Kazuya, both his parents and grandmother believe she’s his new girlfriend!

When Kazuya freezes, Mizuhara exhibits her crack on-the-fly ad-libbing skills, and confirms that she and Kazuya are indeed dating. This may be a bad move for her and Kazuya, but she’s not about to break the heart of a nice old lady who just suffered a fall, and can’t see the harm in pretending a bit for her sake; after all, she does it for a living!

Gran, for her part, is an awesome bird, not mincing words when describing Mizuhara (a hale and hearty hottie!) asking whether they’ve had sex, and giving her their blessing to do it as often as they like! Things get still more complicated when Mizuhara learns this isn’t the firs ttime Kazuya’s gran was admitted, and she’s made some friends of the other old ladies … including Mizuhara’s grandma!

One long sweaty period under a blanket with Mizuhara (and one unintentional erection) later, Mizuhara has to tell her gran that yes, indeed, she and Kazuya are a couple. This leads the two grans to immediately start conspiring in an effort to get the two youngins married post-haste so they can graduate from friends to family.

Outside the hospital, Mizuhara proposes they tell their grans that they broke up; it’s the easiest way. Then Kazuya launches into a heartfelt monologue about how her grandmother is “like a goddess” to the family, and that it’s his wish to make her happy with a girlfriend before she dies. Mizuhara smiles at his sentiments, then slaps him for being so damn corny and self-absorbed!

That said, corny is also “perfectly fine” with her, as it’s her stock and trade in the rent-a-girlfriend business and all. She understands the lonely place Kazuya is coming from (suggesting it’s something she too suffers, but simply hides better) She can’t quit her job as a rent-a-girlfriend anytime soon, but after receiving Kazuya’s apology and thanks, she tells him he’s free to call her again anytime he’s feeling lonely.

Kazuya ends up giving her a 5-star rating (with a very corny positive review), but is committed to never contacting Mizuhara or any other rent-a-girlfriend again. He wants to turn a page and try to find a real one for himself…right up until he spots his ex laughing with another guy and can’t deal. Then encounters Mizuhara—whose real family name is Ichinose—on campus, in glasses and twin braids. Looks like they attend the same college!

As I said, making me invested and excited about a fake dating scenario is not easy, but Rent-a-Girlfriend excelled with ease. That’s thanks to punchy dialogue, clever comedy, deft voice-acting, attractive character design, lush production values, and most importantly a flawed, passionate protagonist who is rarely in the right but is nevertheless likable and redeemable.

This episode also did that thing were it got through so much and was so absorbing it felt like two episodes as I was watching it, without feeling overstuffed. Mostly it was a heckuva of fun! Im in!

By: sesameacrylic

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

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midnight-moods · 6 years

Quote

the last few days were a bit rough and when my mom noticed, she came to me and gave myself a little face massage. i thought she was the cutest, kindest and modest person on earth, and yes i still think she is. but while massaging my face she started to complain, asked me tons of questions i didnt want to hear and just made me more stressed that i already was. and then i politely asked her to say nothing for a while, because i really couldnt and didnt want to speak or even listen. she was mad at me because she had the feeling that i never genuinely want to speak with her, that i never call her, that i never enjoy spending time with her. and then i realized, that she wasnt even wrong about it. and then i suddenly started to cry. with my face in her hands. she apologized, and i was crying even more. not only because it was breaking my heart to realize that, but because i couldnt hold my tears back and let my mom to see her beloved daughter cry in front of her. what a heartbreaking moment for every mother of this universe, making your very child cry. i couldnt even stop because i had to imagine how it must feel like to see your daughter cry with her face in your hands. she apologized, and told me to stay strong. she told me with a proud voice that she raised a very strong young woman. i felt so weak, and then i started to question everything in my life within from minutes. it started from: why cant i show people my worry, how much i care, to: why am i so sensitive and weak (german: charakterschwach). why does everybody has to be strong? maybe that something about me that just makes me me. i know this world in where we live is not unicorns dancing on rainbows or love, freedom and peace. you're supposed to be strong in this world if you want to survive.. thats what people say all the time while pushing kindness and charity in the background. for some reason i saw my life before me, in the minute i was crying, thinking about what i did and how i treated other people, what im doing with my future now and how much i changed. i mean we are changing all the time. nothing defines you, no one can, not even you. there's no definition of you. i always believed in stars but thats actually the biggest crap. you are defined by nothing, which we come to chapter II: comparison and social media. i am so god damn guilty of this. i used to be a person who didnt even want to have a smartphone for a while and yet, i was an instagram user few months ago. you probably already know what i am going to talk about, all these posts where you show people that you got an incredible life without even enjoying it or having more followers than the other one and so on and on, that good old stuff that you already know anyways. actually im not only blaming social media, its just a very big influence of comparison. because we do it all the time, what makes she/he so much better than me? why is she prettier or smarter than me? why cant i be this person etc. in fact i am a very confident person but even then, i subconsciously compare myself with others especially with other people from the same nation, like dont get me wrong but i always used to be the "cool asian" and then i met so many other cool asians, and i felt less special. but i have learned that no matter how gorgeous they are, it wont make you less valuable. we sometimes forget that every human being is unique and nobody can ever be you. even if you was replaced by someone else, this someone will never be you. also about the comparison thing i noticed is all the materialism that people crave so much. and again, im guilty of this too. which we come now to chapter III: partying/clubbing and not missing anything. all the people i see on the street with their rolex watches and nike track suits. who is more aesthetic today? who looks richer? who has more to brag? because clothes make the man (german: Kleider machen Leute). and of course it does reveal something about you because most of the time you wear something you like, but we should stop reducing people by their clothes (guilty again!). especially when you want to get in a club and the bouncer wont let you in because of your appearance. so i've been to lots of clubs and homepartys by now and let me say: it made me and my best friend more than empty than anything else (we didnt even do drugs). ironically we used all these events to fill ourselves with joy since we didnt want to miss something, and want to have some fun and stories to tell - but also, because we love to dance and spend time with friends. but weekend after weekend, it just made us sadder and sadder. it was a combination of all three chapters, the: making people who cares about you worry and feeling guilty because you're not the daughter your parents deserve, the: social media and comparison because everybody try to flex on their social media accounts and making people more worth because of their followers (just like making celebrities more valuable than other people) and last but not least the: materialism and not missing any event because life is short and you have to make more experiences as fast as you can, and this is one of the reason why young people get grown up so fast, why 12 y/o people are not how they are 10 years ago. how every adolescent wants to be old because no one takes them serious, because people tell you to have a good career, a nice car and your own family to be happy. that is the final goal they say. that is one of the reasons why people want to find their significant other as soon as possible through dating apps or else where. of course, there is almost nothing thats like before because of the new generation of technology but that is a different topic i could write hours about - odds are, im very thankful my mom made me cry, it made us closer somehow, and it was giving me this flash of thoughts that i always suppressed. i mean i all knew these things before but it made me realize that i want to change something. it made me realize that it was another helpful lesson for me, that i need to move on but with this piece of wisdom in the background. sometimes i forget that parents are just like you and me too. that they just want the best for you. that they get hurt and cry too. take time for your family. seriously. thanks to my mom who is always there for me. the strongest human being in this entire universe. raised while living by one of the most known wars. saw many people dying including her young brother, going through depression, trust issues and living with insomnia for years and yet, she smiles everyday. for me. for dad. for everyone.

i love you mom

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meggysmallsworld-blog · 5 years

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F You’s & Thank You’s

I drove around the island today. Hoping to find answers, or a cruise ship waiting for me. Neither of those things happened. I told myself that I was going to eat at a place I have been wanting to for a while now, that didn’t happen either. There were no parking spots, at least that was my excuse. I could had waited around, or drove a little further down to park. Instead, I pulled up Chick Fil A on my map and drove there. Only to find out that they don’t have a drive thru. Chick Fil A Express, yet.. No express drive thru. So here I am, sitting in my hotel bed, waiting on Waitr App to deliver my Chick Fil A. I’m numb, everything about me is numb, yet im sober. I don’t know what is worse, numbness or pain. They’re both pretty painful.

Oh look, Cherri picked up my order and is on her way. I guess I should find the tv remote I threw off the bed last night, and open the curtains so it doesn’t look like a depressed soul searcher is staying here. Why else would anyone come to an island, in the cold rain, on a weekday? To run away I suppose. It’s dark humor to say that i've run away from home. At the end of the week I will go back to my home and no one will ever know that I was gone. I didn’t really run. Well, I don’t run at all. I just simply drove to a destination with hopes of finding something. There is nothing to be found here. An empty room, with only the sound of the fan blowing.

Lunch was nice, although i’m stuffed im thinking off all of the better food choices I could have made. I think of four years ago when I was going through what I thought was the hardest thing anyone could ever go through, divorce. I was actually my happiest then. Well, towards the end when I weighed one hundred pounds less and worked out every day. I need to get back there. It’s not easy, but damn I was so much happier then. I know how to do it, and I know I can do it. I just have to do it. Finding motivation is the hardest part of a life change. Maybe I have found something down here on this island. I think of how i’d look in a bathing suit, and how much better I would feel as a person. Maybe the key to happiness is a lifestyle change. Instead of looking for new vacations, maybe I should look for healthier food recipes.

I imagine going on the Halloween cruise next year, with a new costume idea.. Happy Me. Looking fine as hell, having everyone wondering who this new girl was. It’s the new me bitches. With my head raised high, my boobs padded, and a slimmer outfit. I don’t care if everyone sees my stretch marks, baby that’s where i’ve been; not who I am.

Imagining is only the beginning of this process. Lacing up my tennis shoes is the next. I don’t mean to make excuses already, but it is 50 degrees with winds blowing 30 mph. I already have a cold as is it, think weekend is about getting better. I’ll start now, in my warm hotel room.

A new Carnival ship comes in tomorrow. Maybe i'll walk to the pier to see it come in. It’s only five miles. One way. I wish all I needed was a one way walk. I realized how much better I felt when I took the stairs on my previous cruise. One day, I will be able to run up the stairs from the bottom floor to the lido deck, without stopping.

Here it is again, fucking depression. The highs are great, they’d be even better if they stayed around. It’s the lows that really suck. Thinking sucks. Thinking of you completely sucks. Thinking of all of you, sucks the worst.

Darrin, you were the first. Your perfect family didn’t have any more room for me, although you tried. It wasn’t for me. You still try, sometimes, around the holidays. I know it hurt you, but coming into my life made it worse.

Jimmy, my first kiss; well if you call getting caught in the band hall a first kiss. We passed notes on the bus, and you made me fall in love with your lies. My parents called yours.

Tara, you stayed the night at my house after church. You taught me what it was like to really explore the female body.

Hunter, I loved you the most first. My real relationship, your parents gave me so much hope for a normal family, they were just as broken. Your brother tried to sleep with me. We went on dates with our parents. I don’t even remember why we broke up.

Ethan, you were my best friend. You made me laugh and made me cry. You moved schools for me. Just for me to turn around and fuck it up. I didn’t cheat on you. I broke up with you because you didn’t believe that there was a Heaven and Hell.

Jason, you were my first. I made up lies to get you to want me, to try to keep you around. You proved that theory wrong. The whole school knew that I turned myself into a slut, just to get your attention in the hallway.

Popular boys, all I ever wanted was you to look at me. To think I was pretty, and funny. The rumors sank in and a nasty look in the gym was I was worth to you.

Popular girls, fuck yall.

Chase, you were just a fuck, but my mom pulled me out of school to take a pregnancy test at your house. With your mom there. It was negative.

Bathroom floor, you held me up when I was feeling so down. You caught the blood of my wounds, and tears of pain. After sitting there long enough, I heard my sister cry out my name from the other room. Yall both saved me.

Bailey, my saving grace. Every time I held a knife to my body, or a gun to my head; it was you that told me to put it down. I love you for that.

Carson, all i ever wanted was a brother. All you ever wanted was to change your last name.

Jane, you told me it was okay if I liked girls. I didn’t know back then that I would forever remember those words said to me in the kitchen. I still remember them.

Coleman, you hurt me. You pushed me against your dresser and shoved yourself inside of me. I couldn’t scream because you had your hand around my mouth. I will never forgive you.

All of the boys in between, i’m glad that i’ve forgotten you.

Brian, I wanted nothing to do with you, but you chased me. You made me feel wanted and I never wanted that to go away. I’m sorry I lost you.

Landon, fuck you.

Kels, thank you for being my guinea pig of women and helping me come out to my cousin.

My worst nightmare, you locked me in your closet. Shoved me on the floor. Hit me over and over until I pleaded sorry. All while I was on the phone with my mother as she called the cops. She heard every scream. The cops broke down the door. You still haunt me.

Jimmy, again. Oh how I loved you. I loved everything about you. Love is fucking blind. Everything I did for you went down the drain the day you gave me a busted lip and a black eye. Every time i tried to run away, you begged me to come home. I did. It was finally your choice to leave, and I could breathe.

Jose, your wallet was thicker than your dick. That’s why I stayed for so long.

James, thank you for telling me I was crazy. I got the help I needed.

Jett, I miss you. I openly write about my depression because of you. Maybe you’d still be here if you could read this.

Jordan, you showed me what true love wasn’t. I felt so bad for your wife and kid the day I showed up at your house and told her what had been going on. I didn’t know, neither did she. I told her I was sorry.

Brad, I was falling and you caught me, but only for your own good. You used me. I hope you’re still miserable.

Chad, I lied to you. I became the person I wanted to be with you, not who I truly was. It was fun while it lasted.

To all the woman I ghosted, I wasn’t ready to come out. I’m sorry I put you through that.

KJ, you broke my heart.

Katy, I laugh at you from time to time. How you act like everything is okay, but we all know that your mom tracks your phone. She’s lucky we had clothes on.

Angela, im glad you’re happy. You were just too much drama for me. I have enough of my own to deal with.

Katie, you want to act bad. You’re just scared. You let your guard down, then ran.

J, you make me question everything I went through in the last year and half. Was it a game? Because thinking back, i’m sure i’ve played it before.

Nathan, I saved you for last. Because you’re still my best friend. The one I can go to. The one i can truly be myself with. You let me be vulnerable. I miss you. If only your roommate would realize that all you will ever be is my rock. I need you the most.

There you have it; my sorrows, my dignity. I may blame those named for some things, but my depression is not one of them. I don’t have depression because of them. I have depression because it’s how my body is made up. I hurt because of them, they each took a little piece of me that I will never get back. It’s hard building up from that.

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