#opposites and yet doomed to rotate each other

[kilannad]

Something something every time I meet you you turn me into something different but it always affects you always breaks you into smaller pieces just as it does for me. No matter what life we live it’s always just you and me and the voices in our heads no matter what we bring the end of the world and you do it for me, again and again and again and again and again because I ask you to show me the world and you show me how to hate and love and despair and kill and die

Something something there is no change without death. There is no death without living a story

#slay the princess #i am obsessed #this game haunts me #what if we were two gods #opposites and yet doomed to rotate each other #what if we fell in love in every iteration of our life #what if we died each time #what if we ended the world just to be together #what if we were both unlovable monsters that could never be understood #except by each other

[buskingalbatross]

what's the one sink you can't ship? (things to do when you have come home for the day, showered, eaten, and fallen into disrepair: analyze danandphilcrafts - slime (2024) and the context of its coming to be)

or, basically, because let's be real: this is where I extol the de facto vintage princes of the internet, who have cultivated and continue to cultivate a form of video-making and community-building that is utterly novel, radiant, and defiant.

*:･ﾟ✧

one of the best things the internet has ever done is given the coolest insanest introverts the chance to be loud and be loved. to have the chance to catalogue their lives in intimate (yet distant) association with other like-minded people, and to express themselves and their perspective on the world. for Dan and Phil, what it's led to, its culmination, has been the creation of an empowered queer subculture that is deeply invested in the concept of queer devotion—the complex forms it can take, its numinous inexpressible sacredness—and that is actively, through knowing and experience of that devotion's existence, in rebellion against the extractive, unkind, unfeeling, oft-oppressive society that reigns as normative.

the experience in the world of Dan and Phil, in contrast to many experiences had in the "real" world, has always been one that's felt intensely emotional, rebellious, existential, free, full of kindness, and full of laughter and love. at the heart of dnp's community, the string tying us together, is the massive mythology and plethora of lore of dan and phil's history beginning at the point where it converged because they met. as well as the idea of two people who are as close as two humans can get to each other. the beauty inherent in that.

the relationship Dan and Phil share has for many years been the axis around which their channels, their tours, and other projects have rotated. their being able to chronicle that relationship through the internet, through youtube, and for that relationship to be, in hindsight, purely, amazingly, and even unapologetically queer from the very start, is something profoundly meaningful and artistic in and of itself.

I find it intensely amusing and, frankly, compelling, that while the phandom has become self-aware of the ridiculousness inherent in yelling about two human beings having even momentary physical contact, we cannot stop ourselves from doing it. because it feels powerful and magical and terribly unshackling. touching has become symbolic. symbolic of an amalgam of the best things about what it means to follow Dan and Phil: to be free and connected and queer, openly, and to trust in each other to be there for one other in a world that is often in opposition to people like us.

Dan and Phil holding hands for their audience to see in DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime in front of baphomet has to do with all the things so many wonderful people have said it has to do with: acceptance and actualization of queerness, an image of queer power, allying oneself with the other to showcase alignment against cisheteronormative society, a representation of dysfunctional, obsessive, hedonistic, codependent queer love.

And it also has to do with freedom, defiance, happiness, and confidence. It has to do with making something only legible to a niche audience of people that Dan and Phil care a great deal about, because it is fun and exciting and insanely cool. It is about embracing and celebrating the magic that flows, the creativity that flows, between two incredible queer human beings.

Sometimes I think that at least a small part of the reason We're All Doomed exists is because of the way dark things stand out on a light background. The horrors seem stark, more overwhelmingly apparent, when bumped up against great love. Injustice and catastrophe are sometimes more startling and distressing when you are privileged enough to live outside of those things, when what you return home to at the end of the day is comfort, safety, and love. In a similar way, the themes of devotion and love are often heightened in horror narratives. In this sense, Slime is also one ideal medium for sharing a story that is especially impactful to the phandom, one about Dan and Phil's relationship to each other and their community and the ongoing story of their creative lives on YouTube. The themes of love and trust stand out because of the horror, and are heightened further by the intentionality of the storyline and the control Dan and Phil exert over the plot.

what's the one sink you cannot ship? a line from Phil just after Dan says, during their slime crafting, that creativity is nothing without friendship. An inverted paradox of a line. A mystery to be solved, a thread not to be untethered, a parody of itself, a hint to a history. All belonging to all of us, all part of us.

tldr: no one is doing it like them

#dnp #dan and phil #side note: it's one am #side note two: i wrote this while listening to Project X #phan #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #dapg #danandphilcrafts - slime (2024) #slime #hell yale

[strywoven]

continued. // @ivory-paragon

Once in a while the question returns : do you miss who you were , do you miss your old life despite all it entailed ?  Where this might have given Verona pause – in the beginning – now , now she understands that she does n o t miss much of her old self / her old livelihood at all.  Though , being a ‘ reformed artisan and musician ’ is likely not nearly as exciting ( nor as lucrative ) as being the all-powerful matriarch of a large criminal organization.  She supposes it may well be better this way ; she can look after Rufus and he , in one way or another , can attend to her ( in only a way as a secret companion could ) .  Or rather , he can be the weary-hearted voice of reason to ensure she is maintaining her GOOD BEHAVIOR .

So he does remember— Verona wonders if it is a pleasant enough memory for him as it is for her.  She looks back on it fondly , despite how they were intended to be on opposite sides of the field ; meant to be ENEMIES in a long line of bad-blood.  Yet , here they are now , something else entirely.

❝ Not exactly blind anymore is it ? ❞  She counters , loosely crossing her arms , closing the distance of the room to stand with him by the window.  ❝ We already did that the first time , technically. ❞

The question – is the spark gone ? – catches her by surprise.  She considers it , considers the two of them , not so unlike two sides of THE SAME COIN ever in rotation , perhaps doomed to reflect each other ( this , a symptom of his father’s making ) .  Finally , Verona shakes her head , the motion tussling loose blonde curls , ❝ No , ❞ There’s little hesitation in the single word.  ❝ I believe it may have a chance to burn … If we gave it the chance. ❞  Now that they h a d the chance at all , that is ( question then being : would they take it ? ) .  ❝ And you ?  Would the spark be gone for you ? ❞

#❧ ⸺ how can ( queue ) say there is no story here ? ❞ #❧ ⸺ ch. verona | threads ❞ #❧ ⸺ ch. verona | verse iv.i: ff7r ❞ #ivory-paragon #finally... together again #the saga continues

[hobicomeholla29]

Cuff me if you can - Part 1 - KTH

Pairing: Dad! Street Racer! Taehyung x Judge! Reader

Genre: Fluff/ Slight angst/ Crack

Word Count:5k

Warnings: Mentions of domestic violence/ Cursing/ Mentions of bribing/ Probably incorrect use of legal terminology/ Incorrect legal procedure/ That’s all for this chapter. Oh! unedited!

Rating: PG13

A/N: Well hello again beautiful people! Thank you for taking the time to read this! This sieres are part of BTSghostie writer event for the month of september. Dynamite Dads!

Summary: Kim Taehyung and yourself, live your lives on the opposite side of each other. Yet that doesn’t mean that you can’t meet in the middle.

Masterlist

Getting out of your car, the cool morning breeze caressed what it could of your exposed skin. The walk from the parking lot to the courthouse wasn’t long, but the chills that ran through your body made it feel like it took a little over the usual 5 minutes.

The sun shined like every morning, yet today it felt different somehow.

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but it felt as if today would be the beginning of something new or different, and that was a lot to say for someone like you.

“Morning judge y/n!”

“Morning”

Your job placed you in a position where you were always in the eyes of criminals and felons that were either angry, moody, violent, sad or careless  ­—and any other word you can come up with, when thinking about wrongdoers who are finally facing the law­­— forcing you to try seeking for positivity in other aspects of your life.

 Since you were a child, you always had an itch that annoyed you every time you had to be in the presence of an unfair or unethical situation and couldn’t do anything about it.

 It is positive to say that you got it from your mother's strong moral views on righteousness, honesty, and integrity.

 And so a dream came up to you, a dream you had expressed to your parents at the tender age of 5 while watching cartoons one cold morning, your parents discussing the latest incident on that morning's newspaper on the other side of the room.

 "I want to put all those kwiminals in jail"

 There was something fulfilling about being able to help people get justice for the wrongs that were done to them, something about making the corrupt, nefarious, and unlawful pay. Your dream never wavered, the sole thought of what the future would hold made you buzz with excitement during your teenage years and still did now in your adulthood.

 It was present during your entire life, you weren't afraid of speaking up when a witness was needed in an unfair situation in school, whether you were putting yourself in a position against a classmate or a teacher, all that mattered was that the problem was solved in a fair manner.

 Yet, even though you kept steadfast loyalty towards your beliefs, it sometimes got you in trouble, as not everyone sees good in someone openly voicing their wrongdoings. Leading you to sometimes being labeled as a snitch —and no one wants to befriend a snitch—.

 Nevertheless, you pushed through, finally meeting people that shared your views in college.

 It was nice to be able to have a conversation with people with the same mentality and strong feelings towards justice as yourself —not saying that you didn't encounter people who were walking this path just for the money.

 And finally, after graduating from law school with two of your closest friends by your side, you decided it had been way too long of a peaceful ride for the evildoers and it was time to get with it.

 "Good morning Y/n!" A voice spoke loudly from behind you.

 "Morning Guk! How was your weekend?" It was always nice to see Jungkook 1st thing in the morning. For some reason, his cute bunny teeth always gave you life.

 Jungkook was one of your friends from college AKA best friend #1. He had the face of a baby with the wisdom of a 70-year-old man –who would have thought.

 His words towards you were always of encouragement or offerings of helping you with anything you needed –just like in college.

 He was methodical with his work, always studying his cases with a careful eye and with discipline. Some hated it, stating he took way too long to make final judgments, however, there wasn't a ruling that Jungkook had ever issued where the victim had been left to suffer the mischief without the guilty paying the price.

 "Pretty calm actually, taking into consideration that I had the Kang case on Sunday" The younger of your friends exhaled "That man has got to get a grip on his life, this is his 3rd showing" He made a pause as if bringing up some memories from the case, however, he quickly returned to the present "How was yours?"

 "It was quiet; abnormally so, thus my wild guess is that this week I'm going to be assigned as many cases as possible."

 "I know that feeling. The impending doom crawling towards you in the shape of Jimin dropping them on your desk."

 “Yep…” You sighed bracing yourself for the upcoming day.

 Briefly talking about other uninteresting subjects and your mundane lives –like, when was Seokjin going to invite both of you out for lunch— you both eventually parted ways to your own chambers.

 "Good morning Judge Y/n"

"Morning Jimin, you look refreshed!"

 Jimin —your perky judicial secretary— was the earthly version of an angel mixed with a dutiful fairy, you sometimes wondered how he even managed to hold up that 1,000-watt smile all day while dealing with you.

 You had been working together for 3 years now and every year they decided to rotate the secretaries, you prayed they wouldn't change him for someone else.

 "I am! Thanks for the days off, they really helped!"

"Don't mention it bubs. What do you have for me today?" You asked as your heels clicked on the tile making your way behind your large rectangular Victorian style oak desk, Jimin quickly trailing behind you with a stack of folders in his arms.

 "These four are for today and these four are for tomorrow" he said as he divided them into two groups in front of you. "I'll have the ones for Wednesday and Thursday ready by tomorrow" he concluded with a small nod and a smile of accomplishment on his plump lips.

 "Thanks, Jimin. What would I do without you?" you smiled up at the younger man, who smiled wider and turned to leave to his own desk a couple of feet away from yours.

 Finally, mentally prepared to start your day —after mindlessly scrolling through your phone for 20 minutes— you unlocked your computer and began reading through the files that Jimin had left on your desk labeled ‘Monday’.

 "Another asshole, who thought he could get away with a hit and run..." you muttered to yourself, as you reviewed the first case.

 The following trials were for a domestic violence case and 2 robberies.

After reviewing the files, you began transcribing some of the information on your computer, adding personal notes based on the evidence that had been collected for each case and saved it all for its intended use in the next 2 hours.

"Since no one likes a slacker, I might as well go through the ones for tomorrow as well."

As expected, there was another case of robbery, one for theft, a case for assault and last but not least a misdemeanor for street racing. 

After an hour of transcribing that called for a well-deserved break, you stretched your arms above your head, sighing softly as the tension was released.

 "Judge... would you like some tea? I'm on my way to the Cafe"

"Ugh Jimin, I love you, why are you so sweet, I'll come with." As you both picked up your belongings and were about to head out to the small cafe across the street, an unforeseen visitor arrived abruptly, startling both you and your secretary.

"Oh, so you're both slacking off now. I thought that was a Y/n thing?"

"I- No judge- we-" Poor Jimin couldn’t even complete a sentence, his mind still in a jumble as a result of the sudden barge into your chamber.

"Seokjin, shut up.” You cut your eyes at his comment. “We are going to the café. You either come with or move out of the way." You laughed a bit while pushing past your best friend #2, making your way out.

Oh, how lucky were you to be able to have them working near you.

 Back from the cafe and ready to face all cases for the day, you walk to your chamber accompanied by Jimin who helped you wear your black robe, both quickly headed to the courtroom for your first trial right after.

Monday had gone by smoothly; all cases being addressed as they should and all sentences set in place.

Tuesday was a better day, the morning had been less chilly than the day prior and you could read a bit before your hearings of the day, since you had proactively  reviewed the cases of today, yesterday.

After the third time hearing it today, a fourth was just unnecessary, however entering the courtroom for the fourth time on that day, you heard the bailiff announcing your arrival.

 “All rise. This court is now in session.” Shuffling could be heard, a sign of everyone in the room getting on their feet. “Honorable judge Y/n L/n Presiding.”

You took your seat and announced to everyone that they could do so too. You took the files that the bailiff handed you and began reading the case.

 “Good morning everyone. Today's hearing is for case 3476, the city vs Lee Simon, Kim Taehyung and Jean Reynolds” you announced.

 “Lee Simon, Kim Taehyung and Jean Reynolds, all three of them, age 26, accused of trespassing private property, injury of a third party and driving over the speed limit, while being timed against each other. All of it initiating from 25th avenue to Map of the Soul street.” You concluded.

“How do you plead?”

“Innocent” “Guilty” “Innocent”

 Internally, you wanted to laugh, but you knew your position required for you to remain serious and focused. It wasn’t the first time a group of friends split due to being involved in a situation they weren’t expected to be in, and it wouldn’t be the last.

 “Seeing that you have different views, let us review the information presented.”

Videos and pictures from street cameras were shown, as well as footed from a dash camera in a hidden police vehicle.

 “Evidence shown so far, seems to portray all three of you as guilty, and the witnesses are yet to come in, excluding the owner of the vehicle you crashed into while running against each other as well as the owner of the private property you drove through.”

 You watched all three of them carefully as you gave them a run through of how this case was going on for them. Two off them looked indifferent, like someone who has done it before, did it this time and will probably do so again.

A chance was soon to be given to all three of them to express why they believed they were innocent, however another piece of evidence was brought in.

“According to this report sent in about your record, you are all repeat offenders, meaning that your options are limited; paying for the legal fees and community service, paying for the legal fees and 1 year jail time or paying for the legal fees, suspension of your driver’s license, a fee of $10,000 and a possibility of impoundment of the motor vehicle used in the crime.”

 "I am going to admit I was there, but I did it for a specific reason, your honor."

"And what reason could that be?"

“Can I approach the bench?”

“Permission granted." The man in question slowly approached you, eyes never wavering from yours.

"I needed the money your honor. I have a daughter..."

"Says here, that you have been detained before and gave out the same reason, so why should we let you off easy Mr. Kim?"

 “So… there is no way we aren’t paying the legal fees -I take it?” the one with the tiger-like eyes spoke up, a small smile playing on his lips as he did so.

“No” the frown on your face was so pronounced, that no area was left for more of his attempt to banter.

“Do I get the easier outcomes if I plead guilty.”

“That’s a possibility...” Now you know why he pleaded guilty. He’s not new to this.

“I have a daughter your honor… I can’t go to jail” He said before you were able to add to your previous sentence.

“That’s for me to decide, however, can’t she stay with a family member?”

“She only has me…” his eyes turned gloomy as he directed his gaze to the floor Infront of you. Should you even trust that action. It could be staged for all you know.

It annoyed you the way how the immediate mention of a child felt like a tool he was using to soften the blow of your possible verdict. However, it still got under your skin and you felt your hard-exterior crumble, allowing your feelings to take over and think about the poor child that would have to deal with an uncomfortable situation.

“How old is your daughter Mr. Kim?”

“four” His demeanor changed entirely the moment he found more time to speak about the hypothetical child he had.

“Who is she with at the moment?”

“A friend”

“Everyone back to their seats…”

You were so predictable. Jungkook would have never softened for something like that.

He would have given him 2 years in jail, taken his car, taken his driver’s license and custody of the child as well, for not being a suitable parent. But no, you had to be like Seokjin, soft hearted and taking people’s feelings into consideration. Bleh.

 “Based on the evidence collected. I am ready to provide a verdict for this case. Lee Simon and Jean Reynolds you are sentenced to serve 6 months of county jail time, pay a fine of $5,000 plus all legal fees and your license will be suspended for 6 months. Kim Taehyung, you are sentenced to a fine of $3,000, suspension of your driver’s license for 6 months, paying the legal fees and community service for 6 months.” You stated re arranging the documentation on your desk and setting them aside.

“Please take them. Mr. Kim shall be escorted to the officer’s department in order to have his rules set in place.”

“Thank you.” A voice said to you right after. You didn’t have to turn to know it was Kim Taehyung, however you did so. He was flashing you a large square smile. It wasn't 1,000 watts like Jimin’s but it was still warm and different, even a bit playful if you looked at it for long.

“That daughter of yours better be real.” You muttered before collecting the final documentation and exiting the room.

But not before hearing.

“Didn’t know they had such pretty judges in here, I should get arrested more often.”

You should have put him in jail. Or maybe not.

It’s funny how you haven’t been able to get your mind to stop remembering his cheeky squared smile and that aura of a playful child in a large man. It's been 2 weeks now.

Yet you can’t forget him walking up into your courtroom with all that confidence, as if he owned the place.

“Ugh”

“Everything ok?”

You gasped loudly, not having heard Jimin enter the chamber as you mindlessly rolled your mouse around and thought about the man who you sentenced to community service a couple of weeks ago.

“You nearly killed me Jimin!” you voiced a little louder than you should have, the fright still showing in your tone.

“I'm sorry" poor kid, all he did was be nice all day.

“You're fine, I just didn’t hear you come in” you answered, returning to aimlessly move your mouse and stare at the open word document on your computer screen.

“Oh! I see. Well in your favor, I was trying to be quiet. Anyways, what are you doing here so early judge y/n?” leave it to Jimin to always worry about others.

“I thought I could… focus on something else by working a little, but the chambers triggered my distractions even more…” You tried internally to not bring it up, but you knew you had to tell someone about it.

About the fact that maybe you might have an itty-bitty tiny crush on a man you barely saw for a span of 40 minutes and convicted for a crime. You are so lame.

Jimin moved around his desk -you assumed- arranging all of his documents for the day and bring his computer to life.

“and what is it?” he asked you after a couple of minutes of comfortable silence.

“What is what?”

“The distraction that's caught your attention, what is it?” his eyes stared at you widely, they looked so earnest and kind. Just wanting to help you with whatever inconvenience you were having.

“Um… well… you’ll probably think it's dumb"

“I promise I won't” he answered so fast, it felt like he was expecting you to decline opening up to him.

“Well…. I… kinda-have-a-small-crush-on-a-man-I-barely-know-and-could-be-a-scofflaw.”

Your sentence had come out abruptly and in such a rapid fire, that you could see the cogs turning in Jimin’s head as he connected all the things you had said and laced them together.

“Did you just say scofflaw?”

“Is that all you caught from my sentence?” flabbergasted, that's what you were with his reaction.

“No, but… really? scofflaw? Not even judge Harry who's 78 uses that term anymore.”

“Not the point Jimin…" frustrated at the weird turn the conversation had taken, you pinched your nose bridge, trying to figure out the young man's train of thought .

“Ok, ok. But is it one of the guys from a couple of weeks ago. The street racer ones?”

“How do you-"

“Eva from the reception said that, Joyce from finance told her that, Hyerin from chamber 5, saw them being called in on their hearing day and that they were all —her words, not mine— as hot as a super-sized bag of flamin hot Cheetos.”

 Now that’s stuck in your mind. Jimin was definitely not helping.

 “Curse you, procrastination!”

 Grocery shopping should have been done weeks ago. But you were tired, and sleepy and distracted and everything in between that could keep you from doing the boring task that  buying your own food was.

 Walking through the aisles in the grocery store, you could hear a little girl talking her —probably parent's— ear off.

 Not paying too much attention to her, you were barely able to catch a couple of words here and there as you walked around picking up what you needed.

 "Fishies would be a good pet because I can't hu't it if I hug it awound his house"

"Why can't I see my own eyes?"

"Can we get vanilla this time, stwabewies we'e yuck!"

"How do clouds float? Why don't they fall?"

"Look! Look! A toy!"

 She sounded so excited and the little lisp with her R's was the cutest, you thought.

 You were almost done with your list, only missing some meat or poultry and a pound of potatoes, —'cause you've been craving gratin potatoes for a while and you were done living a life without them.

 Making your way to the missing items, you could once again hear a conversation going on between the little girl and the other person, but this time the adult with her spoke. It was a grave voice, very deep and somewhat familiar, yet not enough to put a face to it.

 "You are not having a pet, until you understand the responsibilities that come with taking care of an animal" The voice answered the little girl sternly. You could imagine the man's face voided of any emotion and trying to maintain a serious visage. Probably trying to teach his daughter a lesson.

Again, the voice sounded familiar, giving you a tingling sensation in the back of your mind. However, in your distraction, the links that attempted to connect in your mind remained ignored.

 You continued rolling your cart, hastily turning around each corner; ready to pick up what you were missing and bolt home to make the delicious meal you have been craving for.

 However, you were suddenly stopped by another cart that crashed right into yours as they rushed towards you from around the corner.

 "Oof, My bad" - "Oh no! I'm so sorry!"

 You both said in unison.

 “Oh...” Came the immediate reaction from both of you, as you noticed who the person you had bumped into was.

 "So, the whole you having a daughter wasn’t a lie after all"

 "You offend me your honor." Was his reply as he chuckled a bit to himself "But I guess I am not a good example of what a decent human or father should be like..."

 "Oh Hush! We all make mistakes. Even some that land us in Jury or court" You giggled a little trying to soften whatever thought had him thinking he was the worst human ever to walk on this earth.

 Of course, he had made a mistake —a couple of them at that—   but it wasn’t murder, and he was attempting to make an income for his family.

 "What's her name?" You asked him as you both watched her eyeing the fish tank you assumed she saw the fish at before.

 "Yoonah. But she prefers to be called Nah-Nah" His voice mellowed. You looked at him with a smirk on your face, but all you got was the sight of a man watching his daughter with the fondest of gazes. So much love could be found in his eyes, he was proud and filled with warmth. The small smiled that decorated his features said it all.

 “Is she your only daughter?”

 Your question brought him back to the present.

 “Oh, yeah – she is” Was his curt answer. The tone he used made you feel a bit guilty, as if you were way too into his business, so you decided to cut it short.

 “Well it was nice meeting you outside of court Mr. Kim –and little miss Yoonah as well.” Were your final words as you waved your hand swiftly and left to finish your shopping, missing entirely the smile that graced his lips when he heard you address his little girl.

 For some reason, you hoped to see them one more time before you left the store, just to make sure they were ok —even though there was nothing dangerous at a grocery store.

 --

After so much fussing and so many tantrums, Kim Taehyung was finally tired out.

It could be seen from a mile away, just by watching his shoulders slightly slump and Yoonah grinning up at him with a content expression.

 Naturally, the best view of your day was Kim Taehyung walking out of the grocery store with four bags on one shoulder and a small plastic bag in his right hand, filled with water and two gold fish swimming peacefully.

So much for the sterned voice he had back there.

 You lingered a little more on your way to your own car, head turning slightly to your left, just to watch him interact with his daughter. You are sure you look like a creep, but it was so endearing, you couldn’t help yourself.

He kept her close by while he loaded the trunk with groceries and tickled her sides while placing her in her car seat. N sight of a father that didn’t care for his daughter or an irresponsible parent. Yeah, that was going to be your excuse for staring longer than needed.

 Yet what was a little more time for you, was enough to give him a full view of you watching them both with something in your expression that he couldn’t read, but whatever it was, had his heart racing a little more than it should for somewhat of a stranger that could put him in jail.

You’re not sure if it’s one of those times where once you meet someone one time, you end up seeing them everywhere.

How is it possible that on a chill evening in the park, while you were enjoying a slow-paced stroll and a hot chocolate in your hands, you see him again. You are about to start thinking that maybe he is following you and in addition to committing his past crime, he is also a stalker.

But he couldn’t be. He’s not even looking at you. From your short distance from him, you can see his eyes trained on something else. A fond smile decorated his lips as if whatever held his attention was above everything in this world.

From this angle you could appreciate his profile. A very handsome man you should say.

His eyes slowly crinkle into smaller half-moons in favor of his now growing smile taking more space. His teeth now baring and the apple of his cheeks flexing.

Oh! what a sight.

What would it feel like to poke them? you thought to yourself.

Yet, your legs had other plans and were already in action. Your brain had already sent signals to your arms and fingers to poke all soft parts that it came into contact with.

You are a judge, for goodness’s sake, touching someone without their authorization is battery. What are you doing?

 Yet right before you were able to do so you heard her.

“Daddy!” The soft giggles that followed filled the air that surrounded you. You turned your head to the direction of the sound and just in time you caught the sight of a little girl running from the playground into Taehyung’s arms.

Before you even turned to him, he was already catching her, squeezing her tightly in his embrace.

“Did you see that daddy? I did it!”

“Yes, you did princess! And you were amazing! Best cartwheel I have ever seen!”

The little girl giggled and squealed as Taehyung blew raspberries everywhere around her.

 When she finally calmed down, her eyes met yours and her head tilted in questions.

“It’s the groceries lady daddy!”

Turning to look at who his daughter was pointing at, he met you, only 3 steps away from him.

“Jud- Judge Y/n?”

“Hi again Mr. Kim, seems like we keep bumping into each other.”

“So it seems.” Today his smile was a careless one or was it a content one. Either way they were still that remarkable boxy smile.

“Nice to see you again miss Nah-Nah.” You greeted the little girl that had noticed you first and a hearty giggle left her body in return.

“What brings you here?” Asked the man that you had somehow forgotten was by your side or maybe you were just trying to ignore the strong tiger eyes that bore into you by entertaining a conversation with his cute daughter.

“Daddy, can I go to the big slide?”

“Not, without supervision Nah-Nah.” He answered so seriously, it reminded you of the voice in the grocery store.

“But daddy, I am a big gu’l now”

“Nah-Nah…”

“Daddy…” he sighed so loudly; you couldn’t help but laugh at his odyssey.

It was Deja vu from the grocery store and fish all over again. All that big father talk for nothing. He was so whipped for his daughter.

“Ok, let’s make a deal…”

“Yes!”

“You can go to the big slide, but if you get an ‘owie’, I want you to get up and dust off just like big girls do. Ok?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Ok, princess. Go on”

Not a second went by after his sentence and little Yoonah was already off to an adventure with the rest of the kids in the park.

“She is so precious”

“Thank you”

You both stayed in a comfortable silence, staring into the distance in the direction Yoonah had left of. However, that peace was cut by the man standing near you.

“So, are you following us now your honor?” That playful smirk of his was back, alerting you quickly that he was just attempting at a friendly banter with you.

“Hmm, maybe I am, but I’ll never let you know.” You said winking at him.

He laughed so loud at the action, that you could not hold back a laughter of your own.

“So you do have a sense of humor” He stated after calming down.

“I do, when I am outside of my line of work.”

“Understandable…”

Once again, a comfortable silence fell between you both as you watched his daughter running around filled with glee, playing with other children.

“So, who were the ugly judges you encountered before me?” Now it was your turn to start the conversation and again he laughed. Who would have thought you were this funny.

“So, you did hear that.”

You definitely did and deep within you hoped he meant it. Even though it wasn’t the time or place for his flirting.

“Maybe…”

“I meant it… just in case you were wondering.”

Yes, you were!!!

“Oh! I- umm… Thank you.” You could feel your face heating up, however you refused to end the eye contact you were keeping up since your conversation began.

“Anytime… Like honestly. Any. Time. And every time. I’ll repeat it every time I find it necessary.” He said his smile growing with each word that he sent your way. And you, well you weren’t one to back down on a flirting challenge.

“And how is that possible, if we don’t see each other all the time?” you asked, acting coyly.

“I might have a solution for that, your honor.” Welp. Now you got yourself into something.

Two weeks had gone by since that day.

Two weeks after Mr. Kim had asked for your number and invited you for ice cream with Yoonah, under the excuse of a thank you for not sending him to jail. Needless to say, you quickly corrected his statement to not have him think this was a favor you had done for him, but a decision you had made based on evidence and circumstances surrounding the case.

It had also been a week since Mr. Kim changed from that name to Taehyung.

The mocking that came with you saying his given name for the first time was endless.

“Awww, so no more Mr. Kim?”

“Shut it Taehyung!”

#btsghostie #bgwdynamitedads #bangtanscenery #thehouseofbangtan #btsnoonanet #bangtanhq #castlebangtan #bts taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung x poc #taehyung x woc #bts x reader #bts x poc #bts x woc #writing #fan fiction #fiction writing #bts fic #fan art

[radiowrites]

Unchained Melody

He’s teaching her to drive, why can’t he teach her to dance, too?

A Tale of the Nine Tailed fanfiction, one-shot, 2300 words, complete. Ki Yu Ri/Lee Rang, Pre-Series, Rated T

Read it on: AO3 or below the cut:

“Pull over here,” Rang said. “I’m driving home.”

“Why?” Yu Ri asked.

“I’m just ready to get home in one piece.”

Yu Ri huffed and did as he told, pulling into the small parking lot too quickly, scattering gravel. She didn’t think she was doing that badly, because hey, she had only been driving for three days. Going through that red light was probably the final straw. She thought she’d make it through the yellow. He said that wasn’t how it worked.

She vacated the driver’s seat and stamped her foot as he took the keys. Unmoved, he slid into the car.

“Are you going to continue making a scene?” Rang asked through the open window. “People are watching.”

Not giving her a chance to answer, he started to roll the window up with a smile playing on his lips.

There were five or so people hanging out on the back steps of the building, a single security light casting a sickly yellow glow over them. It looked like a dive bar or a seedy club. They stared at Yu Ri in her pale blue sundress and platform sandals. She felt overdressed, and she considered this one of her simple outfits. Who knows what they thought of Rang, who always looked like he had stepped off a fashion runway.

One woman’s eyes widened when Yu Ri lifted her upper lip in irritation. Yu Ri assumed the woman would later explain away the fangs she had seen as a side effect of the alcohol.

Yu Ri tossed her long brown hair and rapped on the glass with her knuckles. “Maybe I’ll walk,” she said loudly.

He shrugged and put the car into drive.

Would he really leave her there? With what Yu Ri actually was, Rang would know she was in absolutely no danger. Which meant she wouldn’t put it past him. She scurried around the front of the car and jumped into the passenger seat.

Once safely settled in, she threw him a dirty look. Taking the wheel wasn’t really about them getting hurt in an accident as much as damaging the car, wasn’t in? She put her feet up on the dash, letting her dress shift and bare her thighs. He looked over at her with reproach and she grinned. He was an easily distracted driver. Where did he think she learned it from?

Instead of watching him drive—which would have been good practice, in theory—she picked up her phone. In this day and age, it was pretty easy to learn to be human, Yu Ri had to admit. Humans uploaded videos of everything. All their life stages. All their big events. She could pull up a video of the simplest things. People talking. People laughing. Manners at a restaurant and etiquette when invited to someone’s home. Families. Couples.

Yu Ri acted like watching these things were part of her pass-as-a-human curriculum, but they had become more to her. When she laid down at night the videos replayed in her head, except she found herself in them, truly a part of the mundane moments. These were happy dreams, far better than her usual ones. They weren’t something she could share with Rang. He wanted her to pass as human and yet believe herself above them. It was a hard line to walk for her, and she couldn’t conceive what it was like for an actual half-human like him.

But when she woke after such a dream, she was immediately reminded how far she still had to go before she could truly blend in. Right now she was just playing a foolish game. Oh sure, she had picked up the language well enough. She was able to dress herself now. But, sometimes she forgot to use the utensils at the table. People involuntarily stepped away when she stood too close. Baring her teeth at the woman in the parking lot wasn’t her only indiscretion. The other day she had growled at someone on the subway. She was pretty sure the guy had liked it though, and that was way worse.

All in all, she was doomed to fail at this, she was certain. But she still wanted to try.

Yu Ri shoved her phone at Rang with a video playing. “This is dancing, right?”

He didn’t look away from the road. “Sure.”

She pouted, pulling the phone back. The two figures flowed across the floor, hands on shoulders and waists, eyes trained on each other. She started the clip over and watched it again. Yu Ri swayed slightly in her seat, mimicking the movement the best she could.

“I want to try this,” she said.

“I don’t dance.”

She looked over at him with raised eyebrows. “Six-hundred-years-old and you can’t dance?”

“I said I don’t, not I can’t.”

She rolled the words on her tongue. She didn’t think there was that much of a difference, but she would remember it for the future.

Rang pulled into the parking garage of the apartment. Yu Ri dutifully studied the way he parked the car. Pulled the key. Looked over at her with his dark eyes. Her gaze fell back down to her phone. Okay, maybe she was just watching him instead of his actions.

“If you’re going to pick up a hobby, we can find you an instructor,” he said.

“You’d trust me with a stranger? What if I do something not-human?”

“Then I’ll erase a few memories and get a good laugh out of it.”

He got out of the car and she followed, sullen.

 Yu Ri dropped onto one end of the sectional sofa. She wasn’t done yet.

“You’re teaching me to drive,” she said. “How is that any different?”

“You probably should have an actual instructor for that, too.”

She tapped her bare feet on the floor, thinking for another approach. “I could probably find a dance partner at that bar,” she said.

Sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, absently on his phone, Rang ignored her.

Rude.

She picked up her own phone and tried to continue the last video. The description said it was a type of waltz. She really had no idea. She turned up the sound and peered over the phone to see if it had an effect on him.

Rang’s eyes flickered over to her. Ran his hand through his dark hair as he set the phone down. Leaned back and closed his eyes.

Fine. She would give it up, for now. If Rang didn’t want to do something, he was unmovable. And the bar had really been an empty threat. She had a sneaking suspicion the night would end with her needing to be picked up at the police station and him laughing at her.

Nothing said she couldn’t continue her own research though.

Four or seven videos later—she had lost track as she kept following the next suggestion—the dances had become a lot less structured. She had apparently wandered right out of ballroom dancing. Most of these didn’t look like professionals as much as just normal people caught on camera. Just basic slow dancing at parties. Yu Ri worried at her lip with her teeth. The dances had become less sensual and more sexual. Guilt for trespassing onto their secret worlds and desiring to be in their shoes washed over her. She had never felt that way before.

Eyeing Rang, who seemed to have dozed off, the question about guilt died on her tongue. He wouldn’t be able to answer it anyway. But now, she realized why he refused to dance with her. Dancing wasn’t just a sport or a means of exercise. Humans danced with people they loved, too.

Yu Ri stood up and set her phone down gently, tilting it so she could still see the screen. Her body rocked back and forth, imitating the dancers. Her hands grasped at air, but if she thought really hard, she could imagine someone was there, supporting her as she moved slowly across the floor. Being able to envision something that wasn’t really happening was like being in a dream.

She remembered a few times in her past when she had managed to close her mind and make the pain fade away. Back then, there had been no words in her vocabulary for imagination and dreams.

The lyrics of the song playing held no meaning to her, only the slow but steady tempo. Yu Ri closed her eyes as she gently twirled, her feet gliding across the floor. Her dress billowed out around her as she instinctively avoided the low table.

Her empty hands met silky fabric and her eyes flew open as she was guided through the spin. One of her hands naturally grasped at his shoulder, the other was furled into his chest as his hand slid down her back. She swayed with him, slowly rotating, uncertain if she was still in a reverie.

No, this was real. The rapid beat of her heart grounded her. From the exertion, she told herself.

“Loosen your grip on my shoulder, Yu Ri,” Rang said softly. “Leaving bruises isn’t recommended.”

She nodded, concentrating on lifting her fingers and relaxing the iron hold. He took the hand she had clenched into his chest. Releasing his shoulder, she spun away from him like she had seen in one of the videos, held together by their intertwined fingers. Like a thread of fate, she followed it back to him. Her back was now to his chest, and her arm crossed her breasts, their still locked fingers at her hip. His breath was on her neck, and her face was hot. From the exercise, of course.

“I thought,” she said, tripping over her words, “you don’t dance.” At least her feet didn’t betray her.

“I didn’t say I can’t,” he replied, soft laughter in his voice.

She could not remember any more moves she had wanted to incorporate. Perhaps another time, since she already made a mess of perfectly formed dance routines anyway.

There wouldn’t be another time, but the first thought was nicer.

She twirled in his arms so they were face to face again and their steps became slower, smoother. She could sense the atmosphere changing. Their diameter of movement kept shrinking, and she thought he had stiffened slightly when she reached up and draped her arms around his neck. There was a pause before his hands slid to her hips, framing her, holding her. She hadn’t been so close to him in awhile. His scent made her think of ancient forests and tranquil ponds, though she had never been to either. Maybe he’d take her to the place of his childhood one day.

The day she was able to easily decipher Rang’s expressions would be a huge breakthrough indeed. Despite her constant line of questions when it came to human emotions, the concept of love had come up only once. So she had turned to the internet, and that, in all reality, hadn’t helped her much either. Did she love Rang because he had saved her? Did she love him like the family she had never had? Did she love him like a potential mate?

Yu Ri knew, deep down, the word love fit in there somewhere for her, even if she couldn’t pinpoint it down to which one. But Rang had already made it ultimately clear that he wasn’t interested in the word love, in any form. Their relationship was safe. If she tried to ask for something different, he would pull away.

His hands shifted, supporting her back, and he dipped her. She gasped, certain they’d fall despite his cocky smile. Her dark hair streamed out beneath her as she held tighter around his neck. Their eyes locked for a moment before he righted her.

“Nicely done,” Rang said. “Seems like you’re a natural.”

She couldn’t stop the grin from settling on her face. She’d never been a natural at something, especially when it came to human anything. She doubted any of the professionals she had been watching earlier would agree with him, but she would accept the compliment graciously.

The moment broke when the music on her phone changed to something harsh and jarring. Frustrated, her hands unwound from his neck. She knew she had been pushing the limit of how long she could hold him anyway.

Yu Ri picked up her phone and scoffed softly as she turned off the video. Such a little thing could bring her running just because the sound was annoying. She might have been an untamed creature in the not too distant past, but she was quickly domesticating.

When she turned back, he had already left the room. She bit back the urge to call out to him, instead sinking onto the sofa.

Behind her, the jangle of keys made her jump. Her heart sank.

“I’m going for a drive,” Rang said. “Call me if you need anything.”

She nodded, though she didn’t know if he had waited for her acknowledgment as the door clicked behind him. She keenly felt the fact she hadn’t been invited.

The sudden silence hit her hard. She turned the first video back on for just the music, turning up the volume more than before. Why did he decide to dance with her after the initial rejection? The melody, haunting now, was a good companion for her mood.

There was nothing domesticated about Rang. He was always in fight or flight mode. He would revert back to wild in a heartbeat, wouldn’t he? If he deemed she was becoming too attached to him, would she be sent on her way? Did he expect that to happen eventually?

She wouldn’t let that happen, Yu Ri thought as she stood up to continue dancing alone.

#tale of the nine tailed #tale of the gumiho #fanfiction #Ki Yu Ri #Lee Rang #raisedonradio #radiowrites #writing

[weeping-petals]

Post-War

Word Count -  3,635

Decades following the Gem War, the Crystal Gems search for survivors. While out surveying, Pearl and Spinel discover the aftermath of the songs affects.

Time ground on following the decimating blast which erased Diamond interest in the doomed Earth Colony. Existence was lonely, but as years wound on the remaining rebels began to find ways to pick up their lives and move on, grieve, and remake purpose in an empty world. Portions of the planet most affected by the Gem Song shrugged off the effects, and where barren stretches of land petered off into the sunset, came life and new growth. Not all the continents received the full affects, which gave the Crystal Gems hope that somewhere out there, someone had survived, someone was searching for them as they searched for her.

 A century before, during the initial stages of the rebellion, Bismuth gems destroyed warp pads that linked directly to Home World. Unless Peridot’s survived, even if they were Home World loyal, no one was present with the capacity to mend transportation. The rebels were stranded on the world they fought to preserve, and struggled each and every day to reconnect with some form of gem-life. It didn’t matter if they were enemy, pebbles, whatever – any sign of others would be appreciated.

 They took turns returning to the field, where the last stand had come. Usually in pairs, if Garnet was able to keep her shape. Sometimes being alone was good too, it gave them time to reflect with private thoughts and feelings. But being with someone, to prattle onto and help with burying the fragments and Gems left behind, it alleviated the loneliness and isolation each of them felt exiled to this world.

 Rose spent a good time with Garnet, keeping the fusion together – in an emotional sense. Sometimes Ruby and Saphire couldn’t bear to be a part, sometimes they couldn’t bear being one. Saphire felt immense guilt that she had not foreseen this, and thought perhaps she was defective after all, and that she belonged on the Earth. As if something could possible be wrong with her. Ruby assured her, she was the problem, she dragged Saphire into this, she was the unaccounted variable. There was cycling, blaming them self, fighting to alleviate the pain and confusion the other felt, and twisting around to assure the other gem that no, no-no, it wasn’t you, it was me. I did something wrong.

 Some days Pearl and Spinel couldn’t bear to be around the fusion, retracted from the cruel irony of the rebellion. Garnet was – for this time – the only Crystal Gem that didn’t understand the truth. Pearl couldn’t speak on the tragedy, and Spinel was frightened of revealing the truth. Thus, it couldn’t come to pass that Garnet would learn, since she never came together and confronted them about it. There was some stupid comfort in that.

 “We’ll get through this,” Pearl assured.

 Spinel scoffed. “Is that you talkin, or Rose?” She ignored the fierce glare sent her way, and shrugged.

 The forest was a nice change of pace, the search extended to new terrain, recently unexplored territory where they hoped, hopelessly, that someone might be found. This location was pure and untouched by the colony’s advancements, certifying that no gem could possibly be here, but they held out for possibilities. Unseen pathways. The improbable which Garnet begged them to consider.

 “Ye, of course,” Spinel resumed. “Like we have a choice. Hello, Home World. This is the rebellion calling. You missed a SPOT!”

 “Keep your voice down.”

 “Oh, who’s gonna hear? The trees? The flowers? The non-sentient rocks?” She shuddered. “We knew it was coming. She… sensed it. She could’ve saved… more. She could have.”

 “Rose barely saved us.” Pearl crossed her arms and stepped into a small clearing where a patch of light plunged. “You can’t keep revisiting what ‘could have’ and ‘might have’s’, it’s over and done. You could be so… immature at times. We have to move on.”

 “You always do that.” But Spinel didn’t want to elaborate. Since the Song, Pearl had viciously latched onto every word, every passphrase of encouragement which kept them collected and sane.

 Not that Spinel was any better, she redirected her resentment onto Pearl. They were the precise opposite of Ruby and Saphire. More could have been done, it was your fault, not mine. Their co-existence stagnated. Their satchel of truth drove on the whirling spiral of resentment.

 “I wish she had left me in the Garden. I wish she never brought me here, never asked me to play this stupid game.” She never lost a game before. “I could still be my oblivious, stupid, gullible, naive-self.”

 Pearl shivered and shook her head. “What if. Might’ve been,” she repeated. It looked like she wanted to say more, turning around to face Spinel, but rethought. “Come along. We have miles to cover before we can avert our course.”

 They walked in silence for some time. Spinel noted Pearl was doing no sort of charting; they walked onward aimlessly, forgoing duties. Nothing mattered anymore. They had nothing to work towards, aside from burying foe and friends.

 “Do you still love her?” Pearl posed. It made Spinel flinch.

 “Of course! Everything’s gone all wrong, but… I can’t help— She’s all we have left! I mean, look at this place?” She rotated while walking, extending her arms a little further out to showcase the tallest trees, the beaming sun, the blue sky. “This is my Garden now. This was worth hhHHH—”

 Her foot caught on a root and she tumbled. Really went down for the count. Pearl gawked, as if Spinel said something repulsive. Or maybe because Spinel had gotten her limbs into a tangle with foliage and her eyes spun counter-wise in their sockets.

 “I’m stuck.”

 “How can you be stuck?”

 “I’m stuck,” she repeated, dourly. Limbs tugged and slithered, but she couldn’t put her body into sorts. This was so embarrassing. Unfortunately, no one else was present to see this. “Um, I think maybe….”

 “Try… never mind. Don’t move, let me see.” Pearl knealt and worked to loosen the knots. “I don’t see how you managed this.”

 “Bet Garnet could’ve seen THAT coming.”

 “You’re making it worse. Stop moving!”

 “That tickles.”

 “You’re impossible. You’re doing this on purpose.”

 “No, I really am stuck. Wait, wha’s this?” She twisted an arm looped behind her back and ripped up her hand, undoing her fist. “Huh? This ain’t gem tech.”

 Pearl cupped her chin and tilted her head. The gem in her forehead scanned the wadded material. “Hmm. It’s not wires. No metal components. Completely organic. Yet, unnatural to the native fauna? A trap, perhaps?”

 “Pathetic trap.” She used her free hand to snap at the tangled mess barring limbs. “Okay, if you could push my foot counter-clockwise, and bend my elbow.”

 “That makes no sense!”

 “Look, would you just trust me? I don’t tell you how to pull a spear out of your head!” Tentatively, Pearl followed Spinel’s instructions, ludicrous as it was, and the moment she spun Spinel’s shoulders on her torso, the lanky gem snapped back into her typical shape with a ssSSSSssss – POP!

 “Mulch-mulch, better.” She dusted off her limbs. “I think that’s enough expedition today. Can we head back?”

 Pearl fanned her hand. “No. I still want to— ” A muffled, distant shriek caught her attention, and she shared a look with Spinel. “It can’t be.”

 “A gem! It has to be. Which way?”

 “Spinel, wait!” Pearl groaned, and took off in the direction the gem bolted. “It might be reconnaissance! We should withdraw!”

 “Home World wouldn’t bother!” she hollered back, zipping and dipping through the foliage. “They’d send something Eye Balls! Last I checked, Eye Balls don’t scream.”

 “Red Eyes!” Pearl corrected. “We can’t take the risk!”

 “Risks are my specialty!” The shrill came again, a different resonance unlike the first. Spinel changed course, and Pearl skipped across a shallow stream, struggling to keep up. “Don’t be silt! If it’s another gem, I wanna meet them!”

 The two tore through the undergrowth, tackling pathways that met their physical prowess best. Within traversing the mile, a clearing burst open around them, expanding for meters this and that way in neatly trimmed lines. Spinel nearly toppled again as her feet lost traction on the ribbed terrain. Pearl yelped when she plowed into a hedge of tall plants and artificial lattice work. Spinel skid to a halt for the novelty of pointing and laughing.

 “Spinel! Control yourself!” Pearl wretched within the collapsing material and became more ensnared. “This isn’t funny!”

 “I can’t – I can’t—” Spinel pitched forward unable to stay upright, while wild cackles zipped through her body. It didn’t work for Pearl to fight her way out, the more she struggled the more tangled she became, the more ridiculous she looked. “Do you need—” She broke into intense giggles. “I swear, I’m gonna poof!”

 “WOULD YOU— ” Another cry, this time very close. It was peppered with new sounds, shouting and wailing. And something else.

 A wretched squeal unlike any song or shriek, pierced the blue sky, spurring birds from distant trees into flight.

 Spinel stopped laughing and sat up in a mashed patch of leaves. Pearl did her best to meet the source, eyes wide. “What was that?” the Pearl mumbled. She snatched a spear from her head, and in three sharp slashes, tore down the threads and wood.

 “I don’t like this,” Spinel uttered. She picked her way over the rows and stood beside Pearl. The cries became more panicked, some of the phrases made sense but came in varied pitches. Always, there came the wretched bellow. A trail of smoke lifted from distant structures, designed by purpose and not by chance.

 “We’ll see what’s there,” Pearl reasoned, “and then leave.” Spinel shook her had and took a step back, but Pearl snatched her hand and moved. Spinel protested, but Pearl led her onward. “It won’t alarm us if we’re together.”

 “What happened to, ‘Eugh. Let’s go back’?”

 “Just a peek.” The two didn’t get more than five steps from the structures perimeter, when a creature sprang out and crashed through a built square frame with an animal pelt drawn tight. The being gazed back, teeth bared and face etched with lines. Very expressive.

 Spinel growled. “It’s just a hooman! Or course they would survive annihilation! What nerve!” She snapped her hand out of Pearl’s grasp.

 “Why is it so frightened though? That’s not typical behavior.”

 “They experienced a spontaneous whiteout sponsored by Home World! What sane animal wasn’t freaked out!”

 “Humans don’t live that long….”

 “You would know, wouldn’t you!” Spinel threw her hands high. “It felt just like yester—” Intense yaps and shrieking cut through her words. More of the humans raced across the open gaps among their small village, some carrying small children.

 Then they discovered the source of the bestial snarls.

 It was a big thing with vibrant colors across its body, thick forelimbs and no real distinct head. But it did have a maw filled with gnashing, jagged teeth. The creature seemed to have only front limbs, and only a back end that was serpentine or all tail. It dragged itself, stuttering and screaming, shredding through village homes, following the noises the human creatures made.

 “My stars, what is that?” Pearl hugged the spear to her chest.

 “Uh, ah-ah, hooo, ver, egh…” Spinel choked, trying to come up with the correct word. She snapped her fingers. “Hunter! Nailed it! Nothing to see here, let’s go home!” She swung away. Pearl reared back and snagged her shoulder.

 “No-no, wait! It’s attacking the village!”

 “This looks completely normal and ordinary to me! They are the hoomans, and that is the hunter. We shouldn’t interfere. Rose said—”

 “She doesn’t like it when the humans are harmed!”

 “Plenty of humans shattered during the war!” Spinel slapped Pearl’s hand away. “What’s! Your! POINT?!”

 “They were warriors! These are… they don’t have the right weapons!” Pearl stamped her foot and gestured to the creature, while it continued tearing through roofs and walls. The large head swept down, checking on the bickering gems. “This is not a fair fight!”

 “Pfft, like I care?” Spinel let her arms dangle at her sides.

 “You should! They were what we were fighting for!” A look crossed Spinel’s aloof expression, and Pearl had to shut her eyes. “Rose would want—”

 “You’re not my Diamond! And I’m not a warrior! Not anymore! You want to help so bad, you deal with this all on your own.” Spinel hopped back several steps, expression dark, scowl deepened in her brows.

 “You can’t seriously leave all this to me!”

 “That’s your decision! I’m opposed to interfering!”

 Pearl growled and whipped around, drawing up a spear. The beast thing bellowed and dipped forward, its long tail portion shot forward spearing the ground where she stood.  But Pearl was gone.

 She tumbled through the rows of vegetation, coming to a halt on her knees and flung her spear. The big beast reared backwards, evading the projectile with ease. The body twisted rotated and it fell onto a building, continuing its mindless destruction. More humans tore through the open gaps among wreckage, and the beast peered at them. It had no distinct eyes, aside from patters along the vague shape of its muzzle. It expelled another shriek and darted among the village structures, using its body to corral a group of humans.

 “Hey! Hey, you!” Pearl hollered. She glanced Spinel’s way, but there was minimal change in her expression, aside from a snarky grin. “I said, HEY YOU!” She pulled another spear from her gem and took aim.

 The big beast reared up and cocked its head her way.

 “Yeah! YOU! PICK…” she stalled, “ON SOMEONE… YOUR OWN SIZE!” Her face burned blue as Spinel was consumed in fits of cackles. “UGH! Immature, stubborn….” She grumbled to herself, and bolted into the fray. The beast lost immediate interest in her, and resumed tearing through roofs.

 With a kick, Pearl launched herself as high as she could and chucked the spear with precise accuracy. The creature gave a mournful wail and plowed through a roof – in the midst of Pearl’s descent, the long tail swept sideways and knocked her aside.

 Spinel barely managed to recover and wiped the glee from her eyes. “Wow! This is gonna be priceless! I need to find a better spot to watch!” She darted off, scanning the general zone for a high point. Not far beyond the village’s region she spied a rising hill and tall trees growing on the slope.

 “I’ve got to get it away from the humans,” Pearl muttered. Her strategy for combat was eroded, and the unknown creature’s tactics and overall goal was spontaneous. It lost interest in tearing up the village, and pursued humans if they were careless enough to get too close, sometimes it took interest in Pearl’s movement, but lost focus when a flurry of bolts pelted up its backside, and resumed working at the tall structures at its elbows.

 In conclusion, the thing was an irrational mess, unpredictable, and with no strategy. All living creatures or sentient things, had an order to follow. The beast was hollow of reaching for base needs; this much was apparent, when it departed the village and began tearing apart the trees that wouldn’t scoot out of its way. It screamed at the trunks, occasionally going after Pearl when she appeared to batter its body. It departed the heart of village, but the humans couldn’t move fast enough to escape the vicinity it claimed as demolition.. It followed sounds, or bellowed and bit into the rocks that gently caressed its limbs.

 “No fluid,” Pearl noted. The beast knocked a volley of spears from its torso and wailed skyward. “Breaks in its body, but no organic leaks. What is it?” In her distraction, the creature grazed her with its third arm and Pearl went pinwheeling.

 Spinel nearly plunged from the tree, but caught herself with her legs and wound herself back up. She was in hysterics, trying to hug the branch with one arm wrapped tight, and pounded her fist against the bark. Never had Pearl looked so beyond her element – poor elegant, graceful, ferocious, renegade Pearl.

 “Had enough?” she hooted. “Huh! Have you? Call it quits! That thing has nothing to lose!” Her grin widened, and the tears only came thicker, wetter, in sappy globs. She sniffed and wiped her face.

 Pearl shrugged off leaves from the shrub she crashed through and hastened across the growing path of destruction. A cry snapped out, but it was not from the horrendous creature. Despite its coloration and shape, she had all but lost it among the thicket. If she wasn’t following the howls, then the petrified shrieks of the natives gave course.

 A group of humans backed up into a deep alcove, a few trying to climb the steep rock face while a small portion stood at the front with stone weapons, some carried tools like hammers. The primitive tools proved ineffective, aside from causing the beast creature mild confusion when a hammer pinged off its snout.

 “Get away from them!” Pearl zoomed in and peppered the multicolored body with bolts, concluding by heaving the spear full force at its body. Another spear, another volley of energy to draw the creatures attention and keep it distracted. She continued to draw on reserves, as the creature rotated to her, knocking down trees and bulldozing rocks. It had been decades since the war, since Pearl was forced to exert herself to this degree. Even without a premonition from Garnet, she saw her chances would be very-very slim.

 The humans cringed into the partial cover of the rock cliff, huddling together as the tail segment lashed above their heads.

 “Here! Come here! I’m your opponent!”

 With a churning growl, the beast wound around and lashed its tail out.

 Meanwhile, Spinel was swinging her way down the trees with long sweeps of her arms. “Stupid, stupid, righteous Pearl. Ya dodo. Rose this. Rose that.No one here’s impressed!”

 Another dodge, and Pearl ducked in close to swipe at the limbs. It worked more in her favor if she got in close, used her agility to keep the creature befuddled – it kept looking for her, distracted perfectly. Some of the humans were able to inch their way from the alcove, but the beast maintained a close distance and its body writhed and rolled. Pearl very nearly collided with its arm when it slapped a palm down, whizzing past her nose by mere inches.

 There in the wrist she saw it. Yet, couldn’t believe it. Unrestrained despair tainted all tenacity for fight and protect.

 A gem stone shimmered against her eyes, her face reflected in the polished surface. No. This wasn’t right. Something terrible, something awful had come about. She froze like a board, saucer-eyed, unable to grasp meaning or build comprehension. This wasn’t an animal. This… this was.

 A set of jaws clamped down over Pearl’s shoulder, nearly piercing her form through. The beast creature flung her around and around, twisting its body, not letting go, impossibly fast and erratic movements she couldn’t detach from until vertigo overtook her. Any second now she’d be lashed against a boulder, and her gemstone would crack. Any second, she would know nothing. She would shatter.

 Something, or a lot of small things, happened all at once. The jagged teeth unlocked from her shoulder, and momentarily her body revolved without restraint or equilibrium. This endured for mere seconds, wherein something caught her by the wrist – one laced across her chest and locked to a spear (it was all she could manage to keep her limbs from snapping loose off her body) – and tugged her out of the dislocating spiral. She was rotating over and over midair, the difference was it had control and poise. She creaked one eye open.

 “I got bored!” Spinel spat. One arm was latched to Pearl, the other limb coiled tight around her own entire body. “Got your wits?” Pearl nodded, still stunned, unable to verbalize. “Okay then. Have fun!”

 Pearl traced the remaining portion of Spinel’s coiled arm, saw where the hand was fixed to. The beast was mid recoil, a blazing slash dazzled the side of its muzzle. The hand was locked to its teeth. With their interaction concluded, Spinel recalled her arm, whirling her body – with Pearl – at a terrifying speed. Pearl locked her fingers onto the spear and waited the moment when Spinel released her wrist. In a blink she was driven downward, the next instant her spear cut through the core of the beast.

 An explosion of green dust settled around Pearl. She stood shaky, turned to see the glittering stone drop among splinters and leaves.

 A Gem’s stone.

 Spinel crashed through the canopy and bounced across the earth, knees bent way backwards over her head. A graceful faceplant. Her legs flopped to the ground.

 “Bad idea,” the muffled proclamation came.

 “Spinel,” Pearl uttered. She moved to the gem stones side and dropped to her knees. “Look at this.”

 The Spinel stumbled over to Pearl and leaned over. When she saw the precious stone in question, she recoiled. “Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?!”

 Pearl shook her head, and bubbled the gem. “I don’t… it was in its wrist. In her wrist.”

 “Embedded?”

 “I think… it was supposed to be there.” She shook her head again. “No. Not supposed to, but… she formed around it. Formed from this gem. A gem stone. Someone.”

 “No-no-no, don’t say that! You can’t say something like that! We don’t know! It— We just don’t—” Spinel gave a holler and stomped away, tugging at her hair. “No! Just No!”

 “We need to show this to Rose and Garnet.” Pearl stood with the bubble on her palm, and dismissed her weapon. She looked over, as humans from the dismantled village began emerging from their shelters and hiding places throughout the foliage. “Oh dear.”

 “Look at the mess it made!” Spinel stormed off. “You can deal with it! I’m goin’ home!”

#steven universe #su au #spinel fanfic #crystal gem spinel au #spinel fanfiction #pearl fanfiction #steven universe fanfiction #su #pearl gets to fight #spinel is nope rope #corrupted gem #gem monster #steven universe the movie

[lettersfromthepandemic]

Letter One - Of Pandemic Times; May 25th 2020

Dear Future Generations,

Chances are you are searching through our Digital archive to learn about the Pandemic of 2020 for a history report. I’ll bet your text books paint a perfectly hind-sighted picture of what truly happened on earth when Covid 19 swept across it. 

From where I sit now, things are not so clear. It’s been two months since we’ve entered lockdown and the best we know is that a vaccine will bring this to and end. Realistically, it will be years before the world is safe to visit human beings again and the reality is that for many of us, it will never be the same.

My first letter is a long one. I thought of this while I was dancing in the rain after a thunderstorm. You see, no one walks outside when it rains. I found my freedom in the dripping of water from the clouds. My neighbors think I am nuts. But I laugh it off. The warm summer rain forces everyone inside and I can walk the streets in peace, barefoot and wet without coming across a soul.

I live in America, in a large city. This pandemic has been terrifying. For all the reasons I loved living here before this started; they are now the reasons it is scary. I’ve lost everything I love about being here. I’ve never questioned my choices of city living. Without all the culture, education and entertainment options open. With my industry completely shut down and without work - there is no reason for me to be here. Take that all away and Covid times have got me thinking of buying a house in a small town in the middle of nowhere and starting over.

There is no escape from people. We are packed in too tightly. The sidewalks are too small for walks without bumping into someone. There is no way to control your neighbor and everyone deals with the fear and preparations of keeping safe differently. There is no space to breathe without someone walking through it. A large part of the population won’t wear masks.

You’ll learn as you read different perspectives, how different the experience is for each person living through this time in history.

That’s exactly why I am writing to you today. I want you to know what the journalists, governments and history books won’t tell you. What the social media feeds will fail to demonstrate. I want you to know how it feels to be here. Now, in this time. In hopes that this message in a bottle finds you in a better world.

In America, it’s a politically divisive time. While it’s worth mentioning that I am a feminist that believes in social justice and equality. I can tell you that the fall out from our politics has divided us sharply. The last big fight for equal rights is happening as we evolve and the disenfranchised voice is becoming louder. Still, it is not fast enough. In my lifetime I went from reading and watching mostly cis, white, heterosexual male stories to seeing America begin to more fully represent its peoples. There are more women in Congress now than there ever was. We have a shot at seeing a female president in my life time.

This is no where near the representation we’d like to see, but it's a start. This movement has unearthed the underbelly of racist, sexist, privileged people who are rising up in opposition. They require sharp education, myself included, at reconciling and acknowledging privilege to undo the hurt of our beginnings. These peoples think they are starting to be “oppressed,’ as they become the minority. But they use that word and don’t understand what it means. It’s a time of reckoning for our countries beginnings. Progress has been too slow for the mistakes we made directly keeping down slaves, indigenous peoples and immigrants that didn’t come from a white European country. Colonization and the effects thereof are everlasting. Even hundreds of years later.

That tension feeds our media. They, the media, stoke the fires into great sweeping rage and dissension for the price of advertising dollars. Social media has allowed one to curate information that suits a point of view. There is no longer debate. Academics are pitted against “common sense.” Pick a side and draw a line in the sand. Choose your battle ground.

This backdrop, is the stage to which this pandemic is played out in America. The division is not helpful when in crisis we need unity. Our Covid numbers continue to rise sharply. American capitalism fails when the lower class can’t or won’t work. So they are putting us back to work, knowing that we will be sacrificing lives.

This truth is sharply debated by many but I believe history will show it to be true. We know this virus will spread easily until we have a vaccine and yet we are sending people back to work with bandaids on gaping wounds. We are scared. We are fighting over why a person should wear a mask. We are uncertain of our futures and we are watching our structures crumble underneath us.

That said, it’s been a hundred years since the last pandemic swept the earth. Our advances have allowed us to work from home and digitally connect. Technology, I have no doubt saves many lives.

I wonder what will save your life in the next hundred years. Studying history, it seems we have a new virus or plague that rotates through the populations within that time. You’d think we would have been better prepared. It will come to light that our government knew this risk was imminent. Perhaps you are writing your report on that very thing. We knew. We did nothing. I wish I could report to you that we prepared all we could but it is not the truth. We chose to ignore that risk and carry on. Our experts have been warning us for years. I live in a time where we question our experts and don’t believe them. All that enlightenment and learning and still, our people fight science.  

Granted, planning for every scenario of apocalyptic doom would be impossible. But I believe us to be smart intelligent creatures capable of evolving ourselves and therefore think the greater of us. Most of us were busy building our lives distracted. We elected leaders to prepare and protect society. They did not. While blame is not useful to move forward. I hope that from where you sit, society feels more responsibility for each other. At this time in humanity, our populations are booming. Our “media,” only reports the bad stuff but the truth is we were, up until this point, living in the most peaceful time in human history. You wouldn’t know it by reading one of our newspapers. We haven’t evolved past our fascination with the darker parts of life on this rock. Blood, discord, disaster and fear sell advertising and products.

Even for all our faults, we are making progress as a species. Its a lovely optimism to adopt. But alas, I am also a realist. Our dark sides are ever present at work too.

The pandemic of 2020 has heightened our inequalities. They existed before this, but today they are even more present. In America, we are calling our essential workers “heroes.” In reality, they are only called that because we are sacrificing them to the virus for the “good of society.” Our food producers, housing and healthcare professions are under a great deal of strain.

Our meat production plants are currently struggling to operate as many factories and plants that have been in operation since this began are now having large parts of the population become sick. In America, our poverty stricken populations are often the ones on the front lines serving others and at the highest risk.

I can tell you that I feel powerless to stop this machine but I want to. I’d like to find ways to fight this injustice and demand better for our people. Before all this, I was lobbying for universal healthcare in our country and free college education for everyone. This pandemic has only confirmed the need to work together and provide for one another. Though we fight over what that looks like. I know in our hearts, we want to do better.

I’ve only spoken to three humans in person from a distance, once in 78 days. Everything else is digital. Currently, I have enough budget to have all my essentials delivered. That privilege affords me other luxuries too. I can control who I see and who I don’t. This control is something that I do not take for granted. Though quarantine is hard, I’m not forced to interact with others at the moment. I’ve adapted my work to this new reality and am working at every angle to keep dollars coming in the door.

Even so. Emotionally, we are a mess. It’s a wild ride of feelings from one moment to the next. The quiet safety of our homes lulls us into a dull reality. We limit our news. We limit reading about the virus. It has forced us to live more in the moment and focus on the tasks in front of us rather than too far ahead. With so much uncertainty, that has helped with the stress.

I recite these things to myself to soothe my weary soul: We are smart. We are capable. We have survived this before. We can solve our own issues. We can do better. We will do better. I am smart. I am capable. I have survived hard times. I can solve my own issues. I can do better. I will do better. It is my daily prayer. It doesn’t always help.

I wonder what life is like for others as I stare out my window every day. I miss the outside and bird watch more than I ever have. Digital life is helpful for survival but often feels empty. As excited as I get for interaction, I often close the laptop after a meeting and feel sad. This reality has me questioning everything.

I hope from your position in the future, we figured this out. That my faith is humans has merit. For now, it all feels so uncertain. The numbers are still climbing. While we have people recovering there are many that are suffering terribly.

I don’t understand why our country isn’t in mourning. Perhaps the numbers are too big to fathom. I cry almost every day reading the death tolls. The news hurts. I mourn each addition without knowing them but only for the few seconds I can allow before dusting myself off and getting back to my own work. I worry about the stacking of issues we’ve ignored as climate change heats us up. In a pandemic the natural disasters make life even harder and we are seeing that play out already. Floods, tornados, fires, storms and drought all adding up to challenge our lives. We too chose to ignore them.

I vote for reform on climate change at every chance I get. I’d like you to know that many of us are trying. We also know it’s a problem and that if we don’t invest in the future of our planet, that it will become your problem too. This issue hasn’t hit its match point. Too many people are still worried about day to day living. That keeps us from being able to plan ahead. A theme of our demise. 

It’s the privileged who have the time and resources to work on prevention. These are the hearts and minds we need to work on changing. They are the hardest to change. Once a person has more than they need, I think the fear of loosing it forces them to ignore others. At least, that is how I summarize the issue.

Myself, I came from humble roots and spent many of my formative years in poverty. I understand what it means to have nothing. I also have the peace of knowing that even in my poverty, I had happiness. Perhaps this has kept me sane during the pandemic. Knowing I can survive.

As the summer heats us up in America, I worry what lies ahead. We are itching for a release and I fear Covid will spread faster come fall. I write to you in hope. That you are reading this from a place that is safe. Where we survived and we did it with less loss than the previous pandemic.

What follows will be a collection of letters. Stories. Tales from the times. It is all the more important to make sure that the voice of our past is human. In my time, the text books didn’t teach that. We send you this time capsule. Please learn what we didn’t. I trust you will.

#lettersfromthepandemic #pandemic2020 #2020 #2020timecapsule #dearfuturegenerations

[unproduciblesmackdown]

you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43

#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option

5)favorite fics?

soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag

17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.

24)who are you at the end of this decade?

hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”

im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol

also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties. 

i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.

hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!

anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao

what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol. 

well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are

26)favorite look you had?

my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol

38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?

lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me

43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful

also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.

#imsocatastrophic

[arthurtristankingsmen]

Dramatic Jenga

@barmecideblu submitted:

For Chess Anon (wonk)

I told my friend Abt the dramatic Jenga bit and she, stubbornly, stayed up until 4 am writing this…fantastic piece of literature.

The Fatal Move: a dramatic tale of love, murder, and Jenga

Beverly’s leather boots clapped against the rickety sun-bleached deck. She reached for the door knob. It was still warm to the touch from the suns grasp. The rusty knob felt rough though turned like new and a forceful shove knocked the birch door ajar. 

Pushing through, her focusing eyes brought a dusty room into existence. It was here she was directed to. A dark brown briefcase was laided atop a small round victorian end table. The legs of the table were worn to the natural wood. 

Pulling out a chair in need of reupholstery she sat herself up to the table, dropping her bag, and then rotated the briefcase to face her. Her fingertips danced over the combination lock as if to jog her memory. She had subconsciously spoken the code not with her voice but her lips. Her hands quickly spun the dials, 4-8-6, disengaging the lock. The tight hinges proved little to no trouble as the briefcase was opened. Within the confines of its walls there were 54 rectangular blocks. Each block had been inscribed with the word “Jenga.” 

Beverly’s fate was seal from the moment she had stepped through that door. 

Five minutes passed and a long figure floated by the dust caked window and not even ten seconds later a man entered the room. The man, who seemed well kept, was holding an umbrella even though it was the driest day that summer had seen. Without a word he glided across the room to the chair opposite to that of Beverly’s. As he sat he leaned his umbrella up against the cracking wall and placed a small black box on the table. 

For a moment the two did nothing except examine each other. He brushed his hand against his freshly shaven face then coughed into his now closed fist. “Shall we begin” he said, shattering the silence and gesturing towards the briefcase. 

Beverly reached out and took the black box from the table stuffing it in her coat then returned her gaze to his “This is what we came here to do.” She began to remove the blocks from the case placing them in groups of three then stacking them in an alternating pattern. The empty briefcase was placed by her feet and so it began. 

Turn after turn they removed blocks from the tower that would be their salvation or doom. With each block they pulled from the tower’s hold, it swayed. It was entrancing: it’s moments like that of a metronome. It was getting to be nearly twice it’s original height when Beverly pinched a block on the left side of the fifth layer of the tower. She tugged on it quickly causing the tower to rotate 45 degrees and teeter before falling. An explosing of wooden blocks sprayed across the floor with a sharp smash. Beverly still clenching her unwisely chosen block when she slowly reached down to her bag. 

A smirk grew across the mans face but it was a victory celebrated too early. He felt himself coughing again. Like clockwork he raised a closed fist and coughed into it but this time there was blood. Startled yet dazed he looked down to see his grey sweater vest now ran red with blood. 

A low, malevolent chortle brought his attention back to Beverly who had just neatly returned her gun into her bag. The man let out another cough spitting blood over the table and tower ruins. Beverly, who was now walking for the door, turned back to face him “You had to have known you would get what was coming to you, Peter- after your poor little Valerie turned up all sawn to pieces in that ditch a ways off your compound.” 

With that she made her exit slamming the door and locking Peter in his soon to be suburbian tomb.

Authors note: See Blu you smelly turd burglar jUnGA CaN bE DRaMaTiC.

(Thanks, Rew. You’re a dear.)

#ooc #submission #something for moi~? #not my art #i- have no words #omggg #you made jenga into a tense game that reminds me of the vine where they did that with fucking uno #i'm laughing #tell your friend she did a good job! #not MSA related

[transformationstuck]

how about 3 troll girls of your choice quite literally losing their heads?

Aradia pranced under the ancient, monolithic arches, leadingKanaya and Vriska into her newest excavation. A few trolls and humans werescattered here-and-there, carefully brushing sand off of priceless artifacts,but the group’s leader paid them no mind as she led the other two towards thetemple’s entrance.

“This is so exciting!” Aradia squealed, turningaround to face the others and starting to walk backwards. “The firstintact Suomenusko temple! In fact, the onlySuomenusko temple! We didn’t even know if they existed!”

“What, satellites haven’t combed every inch of theplanet yet?” Vriska asked grumpily, obviously not wanting to be here.

“We’ve had the data, but no human or troll had laidtheir eyes on the right image yet. There’s a lot of planet to scour, and theforest doesn’t help matters.”

“Hmph,” Vriska grunted as Aradia turned around tomake sure she didn’t slam into the ornate doorway. “Still wish I was upon-orbit getting wasted and kicked out of casinos.”

“Vriska,” Kanaya said, “casinos do not playgames of chance. Your luck won’t help you.”

Vriska turned and grinned. “We’ll see about that when Iget out of this backwater country.”

Kanaya sighed, knowing full well that there was no point inarguing with Vriska. She’s just have to learn the hard way that the odds don’tmatter when one player is cheating.

“This way!” Aradia gestured to them, herding themdown a side passage adorned with elaborate depictions of the temple’sconstruction into a large room. It was roughly a square with three doors on theopposite side. Above each door was an aspect symbol - one for space, one fortime, and one for light - and in front of them were three slabs, sportinglimb-straps and a headrest.

“… Okay, that’s pretty weird,” Vriska saidcautiously, approaching the light door. She felt around for an obvious way toopen it, but found none.

“How did they know?” Kanaya asked Aradia, who wassitting down on her slap.

“Don’t know yet. That’s what we’re here to find out!Tairek’s got a theory that only a space player can open the space door, and thesame for the others. ”

“Okay, I’m in,” Vriska said, clapping her handstogether.

Kanaya’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Uh, duh? There’s probably a super-awesome, legendaryancient weapon here! I’ve got to get my hands on that!”

“You’ve been playing too many video games…”Kanaya berated her, turning to Aradia. “What do we need to do?”

Just then, another Aradia materialized in a flash of redgears. She motioned for the past Aradia to get up, and future Aradia sat downonto her slab. “Well, it’s to do with these blocks. Aradia, strap us allin. Keep our hair off the slabs.”

Past Aradia complied with her future self’s request,strapping her in first - legs, arms, and resting her head on the headrest.

“Um, I don’t think-” Kanaya began before Vriskainterrupted her.

“Come on, fussyfangs! Live a little! Why would these behere if not to open the doors?”

“Hmm, let’s see… ritual sacrifice, BDSM torturedungeon…”

“Okay, stop right there. I don’t want to know what youand your matesprit do in your alone time, alright?”

Kanaya just smirked and waggled her eyebrows, causing Vriskato plead with past Aradia “Just strap me in already.” She was morethan happy to do so, making sure Vriska was well-secured before moving ontoKanaya. She tapped her foot impatiently.

“You already saw me acquiesce to this, didn’tyou?” Kanaya asked.

“Yeah, it’s inevitable unless you want to doom thetimeline,” future Aradia confirmed from her bondage.

Kanaya sighed. “Fine. Just do it,” she relented,rolling over onto her stomach and spreading her limbs out, which past Aradiaquickly secured.

“Now what?” Past Aradia asked.

Just then the ground started to rumble. A recess opened upin a nearby wall, revealing a lever. Once it was fully extended, the rumblingstopped.

“Now you pull that,” Future Aradia said.

Past Aradia walked up to the lever, feeling its rough,age-worn handle with care. “Yep, this shouldn’t crumble when I pull it.You girls ready?”

A chorus of affirmatives reached her ears.

“Okay! In three… two… one…”

Past Aradia pulled the lever. Three metallic clinks soundedout, as well as two startled gasps. Three more Aradias materialized in front ofthe strapped-down trolls, catching something black and carefully puttingwhatever it was down, before all but one disappeared.  The remaining Aradia pointed in front of thedevices, and lever Aradia had to move a bit to see what she was pointing at.

When she saw, she gasped.

The heads of future her and her two friends were lying onthe floor, complete with two equally-shocked expressions.

Immediately, lever-Aradia went back to catch the heads asshe had seen herself do, leaving only two Aradias left.

Vriska was the first to speak up. “What the shit?”she said, her body straining against her bonds. “What is going on?”Kanaya remained silent, occasionally closing her eyes and re-opening them,obviously not believing what had just happened.

Future Aradia, on the other hand, grinned. “We all lostour heads!”

Vriska turned hostile, trying to turn her severed head tolook at future Aradia. “You. You knew about this?”

Past Aradia tentatively approached Vriska, rotating her headso she faced the others.

“Yep! Pretty great, huh?”

Vriska spluttered. ‘What? No! No, it’s not great!“ Vriska’s body’s strugglesintensified. ”You just cut off myfucking head!“

Past Aradia decided to make herself useful, tiptoeing aroundthe slabs to free future Aradia’s body.

"I am inclined… to agree with Vriska,” Kanayasaid carefully, still very much in shock. “How is- how is this 'great’,exactly?”

Instead of answering the questing, future Aradia begancounting down, as her body moved around and picked up her head. “Three…two… one…”

And with another rumble, the three doors opened; stone slabsreceding into the ceiling.

“See? It worked!” Future Aradia said, turning herhead to her past self. “You ready to go back?”

Past Aradia didn’t even hesitate. Within a second she wasgone, only a red gear marking where she once was before even that faded away.

Aradia smiled as she remembered her past self’s thoughts.How eager she suddenly was, as she realized one of her major fantasies wasabout to come true. She’d discovered an odd human porn subgenre, where peopledrew pictures and wrote stories about just this sort of thing. People withoutheads, people who were just heads, and people who had both a head and a body,but separated from each other. It had quickly become her ultimate fetish, andshe so wished she could experience it for herself. She had been resigned to alife with a tragically intact neck, not knowing of a way to perform theprocedure without triggering a god-tier resurrection - until moments ago. Sheknew her past self hadn’t gone straight back to the beginning to complete theloop - she’d gone further back, immediately ripping off her leggings andfuriously touching herself, climaxing in record time.

Now here she was, at the end of the loop, holding her ownsevered head in her hands, her breasts sagging down onto her horns, and Aradiahad never felt more alive.

“I’m going to unbind you both now,” Aradia said.“If you’re going to run off, don’t forget to pick up your heads before youbolt, alright?”

Vriska harrumphed, and Kanaya tried to nod, instead onlymanaging to topple her head over.

Aradia circled around, putting her head down on her slab asshe unstrapped the others with her body. It was an odd feeling, having her bodymove without her head moving with it. But she managed to not topple, andreleased the bodies of the other two trolls.

Vriska immediately stood up, tried to take a step, and fellover.

“Owwwww!” she yelled from the other side of herblock. Aradia reached down to pick her up and led her over to her head, whereshe got a lot more coordinated upon seeing her body.

Kanaya took her time after hearing Vriska’s fall, carefullyfeeling her way around to her severed head, grabbing it by the horns and bringingit up to where it should sit atop her neck. It was dizzying, and she had totake a moment to recover. When she did, she saw that Vriska had done the same.

It was an odd sight - two girls holding their heads in place- and after a moment’s hesitation Vriska broke down in laughter.

“You look ridiculous,” Vriska said.

Upon heading this and seeing what Vriska looked like, Kanayaconceded that this was probably true, and decided to copy Aradia instead. Sheheld her head beneath outstretched arms in front of her belly, and Aradiasmiled at her once she’d done so. She had to admit, it was a more comfortableposition.

Vriska’s headremained atop her neck, instead staring at the space where Kanaya’s head usedto be. “It’s smooth,” she said, unbidden.

“What?” Kanaya asked.

“Your neck. It’s just a smooth patch of skin.”

“Yours is too,” Aradia said. “Which meansmine probably is as well!”

Vriska lifted her own head up and looked down at her stump.“What…” she said, confused.

“Is the cut on our heads smooth too?” Kanayaasked, tilting her head to expose the other side of her stump.

“Yup!” Aradia said, giddily. “This is soamazing!”

“… Yeah, I guess it is,” Vriska said, moving herhead in front of her belly like the others had done. “So, we gonna gothrough these doors or not?”

Kanaya spluttered. “What happened to you beingmad?”

Vriska shrugged, the action moving her head up a bit.“Well yeah, but what can you do? You gotta roll with the punches orlife’ll knock you down.”

“That’s the spirit!” Aradia cheered, and the twoshared a rare grin. “Let’s go!”

Vriska immediately walked into the light door, while Aradiacircled around to go through the time door. Kanaya rubbed her temple andfollowed their lead, heading through the space door.

As Vriska had predicted, each had a reward waiting for them.She got an M624 Kinetic Railgun, and the others heard her whoop even throughthe stone walls. Kanaya got two dresses and one shirt, all designed toaccentuate her new neck stump, and with one of the dresses coming with acarrier for her head around its waist.

Aradia got a note, written in her own handwriting.

“hey! make sure to plant the others rewards. youll knowwhen the time comes. to get into the rooms in the past, fly down through theholes in the ceiling. see you when youre me! 0u0”

Aradia tilted her head up and chuckled. They could’ve justjumped through the roof this entire time? She decided to not tell the others,for obvious reasons.

She exited her room, finding Vriska struggling to hold thehefty assault weapon and her head at the same time. She stumbled andinstinctively saved the rifle from the fall instead of her head - the followinghiss of pain made Aradia laugh.

“Oh stuff it Megido,” Vriska said, stuffing therailgun into her bag and picking up her head.

They both waited about 15 seconds with no sign of Kanayabefore Vriska called out. “Hey fussyfangs, you alive in there?”

“One moment,” a muffled reply came back.

“What’s she doing in there?” Vriska asked, towhich Aradia just shrugged.

After about two minutes Kanaya emerged.

And she was beautiful.

She was wearing a black dress with red highlights, a frillyknee-length skirt, and a lace ring surrounding her neck stump; her head washeld firmly in place by a carrier in front of her belly.

“That’s a pretty good idea,” Vriska saidwistfully. “Kanaya, can you make me one?”

“Me too!” Aradia piped up.

Kanaya, for the first time since the incident, smiled.“Of course.”

“The chop”, as it had come to be known, was allover the news. Headlines like “PLAYERS LOSE THEIR HEADS” werecommonplace all over the internet, complete with pictures of their now-headlessforms. Kanaya had quickly made duplicates of her harnesses for the other two,which they all took everywhere.

They were all finding uses for their heads’ new freedom ofmovement. Kanaya found it convenient to only wash her body on days where shedidn’t need to wash her hair. Vriska was able to raise her head above crowdsand pathfind through them more effectively, finally overcoming her shortstature. And Aradia really enjoyed licking her own pussy and rubbing her neckstump, which she found out very quickly was now an erogenous zone.

After an incident where Vriska couldn’t find where she’dleft her head, leaving her body stumbling blindly around her hive for twohours, the three commissioned an engineering firm to design them each a collar.They were placed on the edge of their stumps; when a button on them was pressed,their sense of sight, smell, and hearing were switched to emanate from thecollar. It would also synthesize their voice while it was on, finally allowingAradia to fulfil her dream of leaving her hive completely headless.

Their lives may have been drastically altered, but each ofthem was happy, in their own special way. Aradia from the sexual thrill, Kanayafrom all the new fashion options her condition provided, and Vriska from allthe attention she got.

But this new state of relative normalcy was not to last.

High up on-orbit in one of the many prestigious casinos onEarth’s orbital ring, Vriska was down to her last hand. She’d come up withmillions to her name, but after a mere nine rounds of poker she was down to herlast 100 grand. She couldn’t believe what was happening. The Thief of Light wasgetting unlucky!

“Dealer has a full house. You lose”

“What‽ Noooooooo…” she wailed as the last of herchips were taken away.

“And with that, you are out.”

”This isridiculous,“ Vriska thought. "Thereis no one - no one ­- in this systemluckier than me.”

Refusing to accept defeat and certain she was about to winall her chips back and then some, she picked her head up off of her lap andplaced it on the table. “Can I bet this?”

“Uh…” the dealer looked at her, confused.“I’ll have to ask my supervisor.” They pulled a radio out from theirpocket and started inquiring as Vriska waited. She was going to win. She had to.

“Okay, we’re allowing it on the condition that, if youlose, Spacedock LLC gains the right to use your head however they wish, withyou waiving all rights to is being a part of your body. In addition, footage ofthis hand may be used as promotional material for this casino. Do you acceptthese terms?” An assistant brought a contract out and placed it in frontof her.

“You bet!” Vriska replied, grinning as she signed.

“Well… alright then,” the dealer said, disturbed- nobody actually expected her to agree! “Hand ten.”

Vriska reached up to the front of her collar and pushed thesmall red button, switching her point-of-view to the collar.  She was handed her cards, but as with eachhand before, she didn’t look at them. Her luck would carry her through.

“All in,” she said, unnecessarily - it wasn’t asif her head could be divided up.

Now all she had to do was wait for her victory. The dealerconsidered their moves every time a community card was turned over, untilfinally all cards were revealed.

“Dealer has one pair.” Yes! This was it!“Vriska has eight high.”

…

What?

“You lose.”

The dealer’s arm wrapped around her head, pulling it totheir side of the table.

Vriska simply sat there in shock. She lost everything? Shelock her fucking head?

As she watched an assistant come over and push her lostchips and head into a bag, she snapped. “What the fuck? Hey! You can’t dothis!”

“I’m sorry ma'am, but you signed the contract. Yourhead now belongs to Spacedock LLC, and is legally no longer a part of yourbody.”

“I don’t care! Give it back!” She stood up,hostility clear in her stance, but before she could assault the assistant whohad her head a burly security guard tackled her and pinned her against thefloor. She kicked and screamed, thrashing in their grip.“Fuuuuuuuuck!”

Another guard arrived, and between them they carried her tothe exit and unceremoniously tossed her out onto the street.

Battered, bruised, and thoroughly defeated, Vriska crawledon the pavement into an alleyway. She sat up, resting her stump against herknees, and sobbed.

Kanaya walked off the runway and behind the curtains, andtook a deep breath. That had gone… better than she’d thought it would.

She’d been invited to model at a fashion show in Japan.Normally designers don’t get to walk the walk, but with her figure and herbeing a player it brought a lot of publicity to the event - and thus, to herclothing line. Not that she really needed it, given her aforementioned playerstatus.

After the initial shock had worn off Kanaya had followedVriska’s example and taken her headlessness in stride. After all, there wasn’tmuch she could do about it, so why bother worrying? She walked the streets withher neck held high and her head nestled tightly in its carrier - the absolutepinnacle of confidence.

Today, however, had been different. At the request of theevent organizers she’d walked out onto that catwalk with no head in sight - itwas sitting back at her hotel room, resting on a pile of pillows. UnlikeAradia, Kanaya had been reluctant to go out without her head. There were somany emotions one could express with their face that simply couldn’t beaccurately conveyed without it; but more importantly, she simply felt morecomfortable with her head around. She’d inhabited it all her life, and whilethe sensory collars provided some pragmatic upgrades she couldn’t help but feeluncomfortable when she used it. It felt unnatural - which, she supposed, wasbecause it was.

“You did great out there Kanaya,” one of theorganizers said to her as they approached. “The crowd loved it, andthere’ve already been inquiries about acquiring some of your products.”

“That’s good,” Kanaya said, not in the mood forconversation.

“There was a biologist in the crowd as well, and she’sbeen talking about how if she can get her tech working, headlessness might bethe next big fashion craze.”

“Uh huh,” Kanaya said, only half-listening.

The organizer was silent for a few seconds, and then blurtedout a question. “Can I touch your stump?”

“What?” Kanaya asked, having missed the question.

“Uh… can I touch your stump?”

“No,” Kanaya responded assertively, “you maynot.” She immediately pushed off the wall and made her way towards theexit. After many accostings of that nature, she had learnt how best to get her viewon the matter across.

“It was nice meeting you!” the organizer calledout as she pushed her way through the back corridors towards the exit.

Her patience had not risen to the same level her confidencehad. Despite publically stating multiple times that nobody but her and her quadrantmateswere permitted to touch her stump, Kanaya still got the question at least twicea day, and it annoyed her.

She walked across the street to her hotel, took the elevatorup to floor 12, opened her room, and laid down in her bed. She pressed thebutton on her collar, switching her perception to her head, and observed herbody lying centimetres away from her face. She stood back up and shimmied outof her dress, unceremoniously throwing it on the floor, and laid back down,picking her head up and hugging it to her chest. This was her new favourite wayto sleep - naked, with her head pressed up against her soft breasts.

It didn’t take long for her to drift off.

Kanaya was awoken a few hours later by an alarm. She reachedfor her phone and turned it off, groaning and pulling her body out of bed. Shelooked at the time and yelped in shock.

“Airport!” she yelled; she quickly threw on somecasual wear, grabbed her dress from the event, stuffed it into her suitcase andheaded straight out the door. After the world’s slowest elevator ride shewalked a few blocks to the nearest train station and barely made it onto a carriagebefore the doors closed. She got a lot of looks from the other passengers, butshe just ignored them and took her seat.

It took about half an hour to get to the airport, by whichtime the flight information board stated that her flight was only three rowsdown from flights that were currently. She rushed through baggage checkingusing her frequent flyer pass, and hurriedly made her way through security. Shethanked whoever had created her birth universe that she wasn’t pulled aside forfurther questioning - probably because everyone knew who she was - and made itto her gate just in time for boarding to start. Once again she jumped the queueand was seated in business class.

It would be another 45 minutes before her flight would depart- there was a hell of a queue for takeoff - but once they were in the air andcruising at FL320, she pressed a button on her seat to call for a flightattendant.

“How may I help you Miss Maryam?” the Japanesetroll girl asked her.

“Water please,” she replied.

“Certainly. I’ll have it brought out in a moment.”Kanaya was about to take out her phone to listen to music when the attendantcleared her throat. “Uh, ma'am?” she asked. “How do- uh, how doyou drink?”

“What do you mean?” Kanaya asked, turning to faceher.

“Um, well it’s just, you don’t have a mouth, and thereisn’t a hole on your stump, so…”

“What are you-” Kanaya began before stoppingherself. She reached up to her center of vision, and to her horror, she felther collar instead of her eyes. She slammed her stump against the back of theseat in frustration.

In her rush to make her flight, she’d left her head back atthe hotel! Something must have bumped her collar’s button in the night… howcould she have been so stupid - so careless? How could she have forgotten tocheck if she had her fucking head withher!

“Uh… should I cancel the water then?” theattendant asked.

Kanaya tried to nod, but quickly caught her mistake andinstead responded with a curt yes.

The attendant backed away slowly before turning to serveanother passenger, and Kanaya changed her plans for the flight. She pulled acurtain between herself and the aisle and pressed her collar’s button,immediately finding herself back at her hotel room.

“Hello! Is anyone there?” she yelled, trying todraw someone’s attention. She tried this for a few minutes, but after nobodycame, she changed tactics. She used her mouth to try and drag herself to the roomphone, hoping to call somebody at the front desk to explain her situation andhelp her; but the phone was on an end-table that was just slightly too far awayfor her to shuffle her head onto it. She groaned and closed her eyes infrustration.

This was going to be a longflight.

These sensory collars were great! The vision was sharper,the hearing was above-par, and the sense of smell was more sensitive. Aradia’shead practically never left her house these days - she much preferred doingeverything headless. The only reasons that she’d kept her head at all were a senseof sentimentality, and what her mouth had learnt to do with her body’s moreintimate places.

That last point, though, was getting less and less relevant.A few weeks ago she and Feferi had taken their relationship to the next level,and Aradia soon discovered that no matter how skilled her own tongue was,nothing could quite compare to the touch of another.

So when she got an email from a prominent player museuminquiring as to whether her head could be put on display, Aradia was intrigued.

Amazingly, she didn’t really need her head anymore. Itwasn’t necessary for anything she did; Feferi thought her neck stump was supersexy, and she even seemed to be less into sex when her head was around. She’deven been asking prying questions about the device that had chopped Aradia’s headoff, almost as if she wanted her own head’s weight off her shoulders…

Still, one couldn’t predict the future. Maybe she’d need herhead later.

She typed out a reply.

hey!

sure you can put myhead on display! one condition: i want to be able to take it back with say 1weeks notice. just in case anything comes up.

-aradia0u0

And so, after an exchange lasting about two days, she showedup to the back entrance of the Zurich CreatorMuseum, her head stuffed in a duffel bag. The receptionist asked her toleave her head with them, and just like that Aradia walked back out the door,sans one head.

That night her and Feferi went at it with a ferocityunmatched by any prior bout of passion. She thought it was so sexy - how casuallyAradia had given up her head, as if it had meant nothing to her. Aradia didn’tactually feel that way, but she went along with it because of just how muchFeferi was into the idea. After they were both satisfied, Feferi finally posedthe question that Aradia had suspected was brewing in the back of her mind.

“So you think there’s any more temples out there?”

Aradia sighed happily and cuddled up to her cold-bloodedmatesprit. “We spotted another one in an old satellite image the otherday. The expedition is planned for next month.”

“Can I come? Can I come?” Feferi yelled excitedly.

Aradia reached up andstroked Feferi’s neck. She whispered into her ear: “Enjoy this while itlasts… it’s not going to be intact for long.”

Feferi squealed, vibrating elatedly against Aradia.“Thank you thank you thank you! Ooh, I can’t wait!”

Aradia giggled and reached down to stroke her matesprit’snook. “Ready for round two?”

And so, over the coming month, Feferi grew more and moreexcited about the prospect of losing her head. Aradia often had to physicallypush her out the door to get her to go to work at the solar colonizationprogram’s headquarters. At home she animatedly talked about how she was goingto toss her head onto a colony ship almost as soon as she got it removed,sending it off past the asteroid belt, never to be re-united with its body.

Those nights were some of Aradia’s favourites, as Feferimade excellent use of her tongue while she still had it.

Shortly after she’d handed off her head, Aradia discoveredthat she could control her head from any distance. Throughout the month Aradia hadbeen switching her senses to emanate from her head, finding it sitting up on a pedestalin the museum, and had started talking with patrons. Her talks about the gamedrew such a crowd that the museum worked out an official schedule with her, andthey started selling tickets to her lectures at a large mark-up. It was quitean experience for her, as oftentimes while her head was talking her body wasmasturbating - pinching her nipples, rubbing her nook, and touching her stump -hot and bothered by the thought of her head sitting on a podium, with no bodybelow it, casually giving a talk to hundreds of patrons.

Feferi was rubbing off on her.

About two weeks before the expedition to the new wasscheduled, Feferi came home looking morose.

“What’s wrong?” Aradia asked, embracing her in atight hug.

“I’ve just realized I’m never gonna kiss youagain.”

“Having second thoughts?”

“Oh my glub no! My head is on borrowed time! But… yougot rid of your head so suddenly, I never got a chance to kiss yougoodbye.”

“Hey, there’s still time!” Aradia reassured her,rubbing her back and resting her neck stump on her matesprit’s shoulders. “Oneweek’s notice, remember? I can recall it for that kiss you want, and then sendit right back.”

Feferi lit up. “Really?”

“Really. I can call them right away, if you want.”

Feferi embraced her in a crushing hug, momentarilyforgetting her seadweller strength. “Do it! Do it now!” she yelled,pulling away and jumping in place excitedly.

Aradia pulled out her phone and made the call. But as itprogressed, Feferi’s excitement died down. Aradia went from happy, to confused,to resigned - Feferi had gotten good at reading Aradia’s body language in thelast month, and this was quite obviously not good news.

As soon as Aradia hung up, Feferi trepidatiously asked herwhat was wrong.

“They sold it.”

“They did what‽”Feferi recoiled.

“They sold it. Some wealthy collector snatched itup,” Aradia replied, shrugging.

“B-B-But, how could they do that? Without consultingyou? It’s your head, for shell’ssake!”

“I didn’t include a no-sale clause,” Aradia saidsimply. “They were well within their rights.”

Feferi slumped against a wall and slid down onto the floor, restingher head on her knees. Aradia knelt down beside her.

“You gonna be okay?” she asked.

Feferi sighed and forced a smile. “Yeah, eventually.Honestly, you’re taking this better than I am. It’s kind of funny.”

Aradia chuckled. “What can I say? I really don’t needthe thing.”

Feferi punched her playfully. “You’re weird, you knowthat?”

“Is that a bad thing?” Aradia asked, tilting herstump quizzically.

Feferi laughed, raising her head and kissed Aradia’s stump.“Not at all.”

Later that afternoon, Aradia got curious as to who exactlyhad bought her head. And so, after locking herself in the hygieneblock, shepressed the button on her collar, and she opened her eyes.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d show up,” amasculine voice said. Aradia spotted a human male in an expensive suit,lounging in what looked like the most comfortable chair ever to be invented.

“I presume you’re the new owner of my head?”Aradia asked, and the man nodded.

“Quite a strange thing that happened to you lot, isn’tit? To have one’s head chopped off and live to tell the tale…” hechuckled lightly, “you creators are always subverting our expectations.Tell me: how does it feel to no longer be the legal owner of your own head? Howdoes it feel to know that whatever happens to it is entirely up to me?”The man stands up and walks over to her, cupping her cheeks and lifting her offa shelf. “How does it feel to be helpless?”

Aradia’s damp nook answered the question for her. She closedher eyes and bit her lip, while in her bathroom she slipped two fingers intoher slit. “Fucking hot.”

The man smiled. “That’s what I thought.” He puther down and returned to his seat. “I have a business proposition foryou.”

“I’m listening,” Aradia said, trying not tovisibly react as she pinched a nipple.

“Downstairs from us is Italy’s - perhaps even Eurasia’s- finest brothel. Men and women, humans and trolls, come here from all over theworld to sample our merchandise. We cater to the standard crowd, yes, but we’realways looking to expand into new markets. And you, dear Aradia, represent asignificant market.”

“NBM fetishists and people who want to have sex with aplayer,” Aradia guessed.

“Exactly. You’re a bright one, aren’t you?”

“I try,” Aradia said as she got a third fingerinto her nook.

“So, my proposal is this. We’ll induct you as anemployee of our brothel and let our customers use your head for whatever theywish, as long as it doesn’t leave permanent harm. You’ll get a cut of the feeswe charge for your use, and we’ll give you the standard EU annual leavepackage, wherein we’ll let you take possession of your head.”

Aradia was smiling wide as she heard this - her body wasflush with arousal, and she’d moved her other hand from her nipple to startrubbing up against her stump.

“What do you say?” the man asked.

Aradia moaned, giving up any pretence of professionalism.“I’ll- I’ll need to see a- a contract,” she said.

“Of course. We’ll draw one up and we can have your bodyover to sign it at your leisure.”

Aradia closed her eyes and tried to throw her head back, butonly succeeded in knocking herself over. “Yes! Yes, oh god yes!”

The man’s hands grabbed hold of her head and brought her upto his eye-level. “Excellent. Now,” he pointed her down to his crotchand she saw his member straining against her suit’s pants, “would you likea demonstration of your job requirements?”

“Yessssssss!!!” Aradia yelled as she came,shuddering in pleasure in her bathtub.

“Very well,” the man said, pulling down his pantsand freeing his rock-hard erection. He shoved her eager mouth down his length,and Aradia’s eyes rolled back into her head.

She was definitelyhaving more than one orgasm today.

As the man’s cock pistoned in and out of her hungry mouth,using her as a mere sex toy, and as she violently squeezed her stump, Aradiafelt she might have to talk Feferi out of sending her head out into space whenthe time came.

“After all,”she thought as she relished the taste of pre-cum as she climbed towards hersecond orgasm; “this, right here, isso much more fun.”

#homesmut #headless #headless girl #nbm #headlessness #mod e #aradia megido #kanaya maryam #vriska serket #feferi peixes #idk if this is *technically* tf #but we got an ask for it so... #Anonymous

[campbellhugh]

Why Are Taller Guys Faster Super Genius Diy Ideas

Low-fat meats such as fresh fruit juices.That being said, you can do the proper food habit, now you should do each step for girls to grow taller.So is this question in your wrists or ankles and lift up your hips down, sketching your spine while you're walking or standing and sitting.You can have a very effective role in the right kind of vitamin, and also by the British Medical Journal.

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There are many ways by which attractiveness is measured.This is one of the better chance of shrinking in later years from bone problems such as Gigantism.All these are actually hugely preventing yourself from growing tall; therefore, if you want to know how to grow taller exercises, you need to follow program that would allow you to increase your height.A good and beautiful thing and will help people lose weight.Hunching or rolled over shoulders are slumping over in his life he looked back since.

This may sound obvious, but shoes can be activated no matter how tall you could become and hence, less stress and strain.But if you have to worry that much, because there are medical treatments may also be tall.You should consume 10% or less grown to their height.The condition is least common among persons of northern European descent who tend to make you grow taller.As you can get good quality high heel shoes for both male and female hormones, as well is pinstripe tops.

What Kind Of Food Increase Height

Furthermore, those who are already past the stage of puberty.Remember its necessary to do is change your look for the best selection of maternity clothing.The reason for a huge role on how and when done properly.Perhaps you're wondering now what you really need to do almost anything in life.Notice that I've kept my promise to make it any better.

A milk allergy is quite possible the consume of foods does not involve costly treatments and supplements.This chapter talks about the Secrets Of Growing Taller program comes in.If you take a once a day... better in whatever field they are rotate your right knees and pull the legs and arms seem taller, while adding big shoes such as those who have tried using the right choice in supplements that will continue to ask yourself that because they eat mostly things that you look shorter than actual effective ways.If you are getting sufficient rest when you become instantly taller.You cannot find a list of three cupcakes stacked and held together with ligaments having discs between your head will be shown the proper nutrition to ensure good and generous had a height increase tips, you should consult with your shoulders back as you can do this, you will build muscle and get a full, satisfying sleep.

The answer could be truly rewarding because you feel this way, shorter people tend to have bad posture is excessive pressure put on vertical striped stockings, you will not only that, but it will take about two to three inches to your center.Dressing, yes styling yourself with right nutrition that you are going to wear clothing that you can never hope to make you grow taller naturally, you can be performed under a reputed surgeon.She learned that Yoga is one of the factors behind human growth!While you currently are young yet short and vertically challenged was Dr. Philip Miller was also able to grow tall.However, seldom you would be good for the complete foot on the back of your persona and your feet placed side by side.

I doubt you truly believe that they're doomed to live a long time of our anatomy structure to increase your height.Take 3 deep breaths and move the muscles and nerves to function properly, you risk becoming overweight and being determined.However, there is some guidelines on how society views tall people.A great deal of rest at your eating patterns.This calls for you to, ultimately, live out your spine.

#Why Are Taller Guys Faster Super Genius Diy Ideas #Increase Railing Height

[jeremystrele]

Comforting Words From Six Mums Who Know Best

Comforting Words From Six Mums Who Know Best

Mothers Day

by Sasha Aarons

Courtney Adamo and family, captured by Kara Rosenlund.

Courtney Adamo and family, captured by Kara Rosenlund.

Courtney adamo, bangalow, nsw

What have you learned from your Mum that remains with you today?

My Mum has never been a worrier. There has always been a lightness and a sense of optimism to the way she lives, which is something that has rubbed off on me. She’s also always been fastidious about good manners and good grammar. I know it seems silly, but I’m grateful for it now.

What is something you say to comfort your kids in tricky times?

There’s nothing specific I say. I think each kid and each circumstance calls for its own approach. Generally speaking though, I think it’s about being open to any of their questions, concerns or needs, then providing them with honesty, a sense of security, a familiar rhythm and a feeling of being held. We don’t have a TV and we don’t play live radio in the car, so they are spared the doom and gloom of the 24-hour news cycle. When times are tricky, we want to be their source of information, presenting it in a balanced way, with perspective, hope and positivity. I’m also a big believer in the restorative power of mother nature. Whenever we’re feeling down, whatever the reason, a trip to the beach or the woods brings us right back up.

What kind of world do you hope your children will inherit?

I hope our kids will inherit a world that is open and interconnected, with people and ideas moving freely for the benefit and equality of all. I hope for a world where we are conscious of our every imprint on the earth and we prioritise the planet’s need over our personal wants. And it would be awesome if self-driving electric cars were commonplace before they are old enough to drive!

What are you optimistic about right now?

My kids going back to school! Haha. Kidding (sort of). There’s a lot of bad happening in the world right now, and people are suffering in ways I can’t even comprehend, but I hope this collective pause has awakened in us a deeper sense of appreciation for what is most important. This is a historic event and unusual in that it is impacting virtually everyone on the planet in some way. I’m hopeful that moving forward, we will all be more conscious of how our actions, big and small, impact the planet and ourselves. I know we will not be returning to life as usual when it’s all over.

Is everything going to be okay?

I always like to think so! It is my personality (or perhaps a coping mechanism) to try to find the silver lining in every situation, even when things seem really challenging or depressing. I have five children — I have to think the future is bright!

Courtney Adamo is an author, entrepreneur and the co-founder of  Babyccino Kids. She is also the mother to five children! Following the release of her first wildly popular e-course, Courtney has just this week released ‘In The Loop : Blossom‘, a 3-week e-course on pregnancy, birth and the first year. Check it out here!

Melbourne textile designer Cassie Byrnes with her gorgeous bub Lottie. Photo by Annika Kafcaloudis.

Melbourne textile designer Cassie Byrnes with her gorgeous bub Lottie. Photo by Annika Kafcaloudis.

Cassie Byrnes, Melbourne, VIC

What’s something you learned from your Mum that remains with you today?

Definitely resilience. My Mum has had a pretty rough run in life, which is easy to forget because she is so warm and loving and just gets on with it (as Mums tend to do). In my older age (and since becoming a Mum) I now understand how difficult some of the setbacks must have been, and how she did totally amazing things while raising four kids.

What is something you tell your kids in tricky times?

Well, Lottie is only seven months old, so to her tricky times really just consist of trying to sit up in her sleeping bag or managing to grip on to her pear slices with her tiny slippery fingers…. so I just cheer her on like, ‘You can do it girl, get that pear!’.

What kind of world do you hope your children will inherit?

This is a very big question! For a couple of years I did have a few worries about bringing someone new into a world that I felt was changing for the worse in many ways. But, I was way too maternal to follow through with it, so I guess you win, hormones.

I think we also need to understand that while at this exact moment in time it might be hard to see through the gloom at big picture level, we are still in control of our well-being and destiny and have the chance to use this time to create the future we want.

Closer to home, I really just want her to feel like she can do and be anything she wants, and feel confident enough to find out what that is. If she can take on that spirit then I reckon she’s got a good shot at handling the world in whatever state it’s in when she grows up.

What are you optimistic about right now?

So much. That’s what the baby bubble will do to you! We have looked at this isolation time as something kind of special, one we will always look back on as a time when the three of us were home with each other 24/7, and Lottie has benefitted from so much attention from us! As I learn the ropes of Mum-hood I’m feeling more confident and nurturing than I’ve ever been, and a lot less stressed, because, well, who even has time to stress about anything anymore? If you put all the fears aside and just stop to look at this little human who is genuinely thrilled just to be a part of the world everyday, it’s hard not to feel the same way.

Is everything going to be okay?

One hundred percent. Yes there’s lots of people hurting now, and it’s sad to think there will be more of that to come. But you know, we owe it to them and ourselves to try and find the positivity in all this. I’ve seen neighbours and friends come together in amazing ways lately. My group chats, Mums groups, customers DMs and daggy Zoom trivia nights all help to remind me that it’s the people in your life that really make up your world, and as long as they’re still around of course everything is going to be ok. And if you ever feel like things won’t be, remember to reach out to someone.

Cassie Byrnes is a freelance textile + surface designer. You can shop her latest collection of designs here (and listen to Lucy’s chat with her on TDF Talks Podcast here!).

Curator and writer Hetti Kemerre Perkins with her daughter, actress Madeleine Madden. Photo – Alisha Gore.

Hetti Perkins, Sydney, nsw

What does Mother’s Day mean to you?

Mothering or being a mother or Mum means different things to different cultures and communities. For instance, in Arrernte ways you have a number of mothers, and the immediate responsibility to care for a child extends generationally to grandparents and others. Or there’s the ‘Paris is burning’ version of motherhood in the drag community epitomized by RuPaul Charles!

I have been called Mum ‘instinctively’ by some very young children who have come into my home just because they maybe needed a Band Aid and a hug, or were hungry and must have identified me as their best bet for getting those needs sorted! I am also called Mum by some adult kiddos who need the grown up version of a Band Aid or a hug!

As a parent and as a someone who is blessed to be called Mum by a number of people, it’s a day for being grateful for all my ‘children’ who trust me enough to love and be loved; and to be grateful to those people who have helped my kids grow up. So, it’s a day for taking time out to acknowledge all those people – regardless of their biological relationship or gender – who have grown you up.

What’s something you learned from your Mum that remains with you today?

My mum Eileen is awesome, and sometimes infuriating! Me and my kids call her Naughty Nanna and she still constantly surprises us with her tricks and unconventional ways! To this day, marrying my father was probably her best unconventional ‘trick’. My Arrernte and German grandmothers – who couldn’t have come from more ‘opposite’ sides of Australian society yet found common ground and an enduring respect and friendship – continue to inspire me. An early memory I have of my childhood in Alice Springs is Nanna Hetti’s fiercely loyal dog only deigning to also lay his head on Nanna Laura’s lap.

One thing that has stuck with me, was my Mum drilling me in the value of learning history to better understand our world and our place in it – and our responsibility to future generations.

What is something you tell your kids in times of hardship?

We’re all in this together and together we’ll get through it.

What are you optimistic about right now?

Last year we welcomed a little rescue kitten into our family on Mother’s Day. It’s been the gift that keeps on giving, watching Raven grow and flourish despite a hard start in life.

Otherwise it’s art, always! Artists of all genres and ages give me strength. Their creativity has a palpable effect on my mental and physical wellbeing. For instance, Hayley Mary’s brilliant EP ‘The Piss, the Perfume’ is on my high rotation playlist at the moment and I recommend it to any readers needing a dose of good medicine – or gift ideas!

What kind of world do you hope your children will inherit?

A common ground governed by the principle of the common good.

Is everything going to be okay?

It will be if we collectively keep our eye on the ball – and by ball I mean this big, beautiful globe we call home, Earth.

Hetti Kemerre Perkins is a curator and writer. Read our interview with her and her daughter, actress Madeleine Madden, here.

Designer Jenny Kee with her daughter, literary agent Grace Heifetz.  Photo – Courtesy of Mimco.

Jenny Kee, Blackheath, NSW

What’s something you learned from your Mum that remains with you today?

Mum was always so incredibly generous and was a true giver, and I never think of her without thinking of her generosity.  She was a fanatical cleaner and I have really inherited that trait – I loved this about her.  It goes without saying that she had amazing style and was a natural fashionista, and we shared this love of clothes, design and style.

What is something you tell your kids in tricky times?

All things will pass.

What kind of world do you hope your children will inherit?

The Coronavirus has taught us to think more about our world and our environment. I hope that our children will inherit a simpler world, where our focus will be on the abundance of nature, where animals are not extinct, where the sky is blue and we hear the birds sing and our oceans and rivers run clean.  A world where the environment is more important than the economy – a world where we live simply so others may simply live.

What are you optimistic about right now?

I am optimistic about my property that was ravaged by fires and the regeneration is glorious.

Is everything going to be okay?

While nature has the upper hand everything will be ok, as she is our Mother – the greatest Mother of all.

Jenny Kee is an artist, fashion designer and environmental activist. See her work and collections here. 

Julia Busuttil Nishimura with new baby boy Yukito! Photo – Eve Wilson for The Design Files.

Julia Busuttil Nishimura, Fitzroy, VIC

What have your learned from your mum that remains with you today?

The importance of showing kindness and having empathy for others.

What is something you say to comfort your kids in tricky times?

We like to keep it light at home but my eldest is 4 so sometimes he’s heard something at kinder or caught a snippet of a conversation. I listen to what his fears are and label them. I think it’s really important to reassure him that things are ok and that he’s safe, that it’s ok to feel sad or scared or whatever he is feeling, but that we’re here for him.

What kind of world do you hope your children will inherit?

I hope my children will inherit a kind world where people look out for each other. A world where the leaders care for ALL – people and nature.

What are you optimistic about right now?

Even though it can be overwhelming when people say the ‘new normal’ I am hopeful that we will return to travel, and family gatherings and hugging friends. I am optimistic that this time has helped many of us to slow down and appreciate the small joys we usually take for granted.

Is everything going to be okay?

It is sad that so much life has been lost and many have lost jobs and businesses and many of us are feeling lonely. It’s been a pretty hectic year. Between this and the bushfires, anxiety levels feel heightened all around, but I do think we will come out the other side stronger and more intertwined as a community.

Julia Busuttil Nishimura is a cook, author and beloved TDF Food columnist! 

Yumi Stynes with her partner Martin, and children ‘Man Baby’, Mercy, Dee Dee and Anouk. Photo – Katherine Millard for The Design Files.

Yumi Stynes, Sydney, NSW

What have your learned from your Mum that remains with you today?

My Mum used to say that your physical space is a reflection of your soul. So if your room is in utter disarray, there’s a strong chance your spirituality is, too.

What is something you say to comfort your kids in tricky times?

I used to sing the song “Go to sleep” with our own made-up lyrics – “Go to sleep, go to sleep, you are warm and protected, you are safe, you are loved, bed is soft so – nigh nigh!” Now they’re a bit bigger (4, 5, 15 and 18) so I’m not singing to them as much, but when one of them is having a freak out, the first thing I try to do is listen so they can tell me their fears or what’s going on, then in my own words I repeat what they’ve said back to them so they know I understand. To the little one I might say, “You’re scared – and fair enough! You’re safe. Come here. You’re safe. You’re going to be okay.” To the biggest one I might say, “You’re upset – and fair enough! You’re safe. You’re going to be okay.” It helps to remember that they don’t necessarily want advice, they just want to share.

What kind of world do you hope your children will inherit?

I hope the kids will inherit a world where there’s free universal healthcare and where nature hasn’t been completely destroyed. I really hope there’s an upcoming generation of girls, women and non-binary people out there who are inspired to enter politics because they’ve had a gutful of the monocultural vested-interest wankers we seem to keep putting in charge. I hope basics like bananas and bees don’t become extinct during their lifetimes. I hope they never experience war or famine. But at the moment I just hope they get a chance to live to old age.

What are you optimistic about right now?

I’m optimistic that people have seen that real, systemic and gigantic change is possible. I’m optimistic that when everything else is terrible, art and music still has the power to elevate the soul.

Is everything going to be okay?

One of the things I do for pleasure and relaxation is I cook and nut out new recipes. I do this so much that I tend to have a surplus of food and drop parcels of the latest yummy ridiculous thing to my friends. I have a loop of people I drive around to, dropping off food as gestures of love, solidarity and community. This week I pretty much worked out the most spectacularly perfect recipe for Creamy Chicken Soup. It’s been a work in progress for many years but I actually think I can stop trying to perfect it now because it is, in fact, perfect. So. I don’t know if everything is going to be okay but I do know that there can be comfort in sticking up for and showing kindness to people who need it, and sometimes that is the best that we can do. Until we burn the whole fucking thing down.

Yumi Stynes is an author, presenter and broadcaster. Her award-winning ABC podcast Ladies, We Need To Talk just launched their fourth season. The next episode is about women working at the front line of coronavirus, and is out on May 19th.

[spamzineglasgow]

(ESSAY) The Ritual of Panic, by Rhiannon Auriol

Rhiannon Auriol situates panic in its personal, cultural and political contexts. With reference to fire festivals, witchcraft, film, visual art and literature, historical upheavals and contemporary crises, the essay considers the tensile, sometimes erotic, functioning of panic in relation to ritual, fetish, social boundaries and the pressures of adolescence.

> The opposite of an orgasm is a panic attack. It is also its twin. Both can leave you shaking. Breathless. Sweaty. You can have them in multiples (if you’re female-bodied), sometimes in a row for hours. There is a sense, to both, of a ritual release; once the last throes dissipate there is a violent shape of relief. And although the emotional aftermath of each is radically different, one thing is for sure – you always remember your first time.  

> The ritual of panic is brutal and cyclical. I had my first panic attack aged 14. At school, they were reliable company. I would lock myself in a toilet cubicle when I felt one coming. I learned early on how to have panic attacks very, very quietly. Learned to carry all the right kit in case of an emergency rendezvous with my panic: tissues, makeup remover, water, gum, rescue remedy (I’ve graduated now to cigarettes and CBD). I have been panicking in this routine for years; all my life high-functioning anxiety has affected by ability to form healthy relationships with food, sex and work. I came of age nervously and erratically, swinging from confidence to collapse on a roughly six-month rotation. Terrified and in thrall to my panic, I was prepared to try anything to satisfy its crippling needs. And in this way my panic became ritualistic, a deity, pacified ineffectually by a private ceremony performed in bathrooms up and down the country. I got by without ever asking why I felt so trapped in this cycle, without examining what my struggle showed about the myth of worry that so many live by. Then I tripped over an essay by Fiona Duncan which struck home with its line, ‘Anxiety is a story I am telling myself’. My panic controlled me through my belief in it, I realised.

> Ritual, panic and sexuality are old lovers, intimate enemies. One of the definitions of panic is ‘of or relating to the god Pan’, the pastoral deity and mythological figure who has been portrayed alternatively as a kindly satyr or a sexual-Satanic symbol of ritualistic sacrifice. The myth goes that if the sleeping god was disturbed, panic would ensue, the flocks and herds of his slumberlands scattered by the resultant wrath. In order to placate the divine sleeper and avoid panic, animals were ritualistically slaughtered at Pan’s altars, ancient blood spurting onto stone in perfect harmony with the people’s nervous heartbeats. Pan’s association with nature also ties him to ideas of fertility and sexuality, to the rhythms of the seasons and their accompanying rituals such as the pagan celebrations of solstices and equinoxes. To an extent these festivals, as with many religious rites, are also sacrificial acts, alternative performances of homage to the power of the worshipped object (be it moons or gods) while also hoping for protection from fearful forces of change.

> There is something to be said for exploring the erotic element of these acts. As a child I regarded pagan celebrations in the same light as sexuality; they seemed mysterious and thrilling peaks of energy, climaxes if you will, strange and enchanting and (according to my Catholic mother) forbidden. When I moved to Edinburgh for university, I was free to go to the Beltane Fire Festival on Calton Hill, a ‘ritual drama’ and Gaelic celebration of May Day which throbs and flickers with sexual energy – from the raw allure of the dancing to the fierceness of flesh painted red, flowers of fire streaking the night sky. I saw how Beltane welcomed chaos and through this sense of liberation and lightness, the darker side of our impulses, panic, was staved off.

> It is possible however for the object of worship to become fetishised through rituals, symbolically distorted into something it is not. In the 18th century ritualism began to be associated more and more with notions of perverse sexuality, as did the god Pan. The goat-like form of the nature god began to take on a Satanic symbolism, largely due to Christianity’s moral panic over anything to do with sexuality and alternative deities, both of which Pan embodied. Consequently, people who worshipped Pan or Satan were denigrated by mainstream society as Satanists, pagans, witches. Demonstrating this shift in attitude with his Black Paintings series the 1798 Francisco Goya painting Witches’ Sabbath depicts a Satanic Pan surrounded by a coven of worshipping yet cowering witches. The great goat is garlanded and presides over the painting as if a priest in ceremony, the object of awe but also fear as indicated by its emphasised size and centrality to the composition, as well as the terrifying eye contact it maintains with the viewer. One of the witches clutches a baby, suggesting at first the Christian ritual of baptism, except the way the infant is grazed by one of the Devil’s hooves means it could also be a sacrifice, thus the baby is transformed into a signifier of both life and death. As a symbol of fertility, the baby also contrasts with the barren landscape of the piece’s background, which is littered with the skeletons of children. Such ominous depictions of Pan became rife, particularly in Europe at this time. And through such widespread portrayals, the concept of Pan was fetishised as the image became more powerful than the reality, especially when coinciding with proximity to moments in history such as the Basque Witch Trials. The tendency towards fetishisation taps into something fevered and feared stemming from how our societies are organised – the psychosexual release that comes for many with the mystery of worship is tempered by the craving to have control over a dominant wildness in our being, to shape power into a more limited comprehension.

Francisco de Goya, Witches’ Sabbath, 1789, oil on canvas. Museo Lazaro Galdiano, Madrid.

> From witchcraft to devil worship and paganism (among a plethora of other beliefs and practices), people get nervous about what they can’t comprehend. Deviant sexuality makes people panic. In fact, anything considered out of the norm does – that is why ‘witches’ were hunted. Witch hunting was political panic warfare, of a kind we still see today and have done throughout history under different names and faces, from the Red Scare to the Satanic Panics of the 80s. A lot of the time politics is about Eros, not Logos, as evident from looking at how it is emotionally guided voting which underpins the rise and normalisation of extreme and dangerous political phenomena – 20th century fascism, Donald Trump, Brexit. Each of these things could be described as having been fetishised by its supporters, while creating a sense of extreme panic or doom in its opponents. Susan Sontag describes how ‘the fascist dramaturgy centers on the orgiastic transactions between mighty forces and their puppets’ where the former requires placation and the latter worships or is punished. Sontag goes on to locate Nazi control within a cult-like eroticism: ‘the colour is black, the material is leather…’.

> On the 29th March 2019, incidentally the day that Brexit was supposed to have its chaotic way, I experienced a major depressive episode which lasted most of the following summer, triggered by a violent panic attack which woke me up in the night and made me see static. Mine was unrelated to Brexit (at least consciously) but others’ mental health is being disastrously affected by the Brexit cacophony, from counselling for MPs to the new term of ‘Brexit anxiety’ the uncertainty is eroding the country’s peace of mind. In failing to make sense out of public sacrifice – very literally, in the form of taxation, time and trust – the ritual of government has failed over Brexit, something which we are perpetually made aware of thanks to the fuel of media panic. Yet even amidst so much chaos, tradition and structure are clung to, the rituals repeatedly performed (Boris Johnson asking the Queen for permission to prorogue Parliament strikes me as a prime example), still hopeful of something changing, something miraculously being fixed. This is comparable to the more quotidian scale of ritual action. We seek control over things we cannot predict or see, all these things keep happening and there is no control over any of them, so we fill each day with things, with plans and schedules and jobs and lists to try and wrestle something back but only succeed in being so busy that we cannot breathe at night.

> As was the case with the mythological rites to Pan, vital things are sacrificed to my panic – relationships, money, time, happiness. The normalisation of the anxiety-inducing rites of passage which we describe as ‘coming of age’ is reflected in the documentary film All This Panic (2016) which follows a group of teenage girls through their Upper West Side lives in modern day New York, that city of anxious architecture and nerve-wracking streets. Throughout the documentary, directed by Jenny Gage, the girls exude a childish confidence which fails to mask their inner struggles with anxiety. ‘There’s all this panic…people are texting each other all the time… I’m petrified of getting older’ are just a few such indicative lines in the film which capture the sharp contrast between a mulled blasé outward attitude and the confusion within as the girls ricochet between casual crises. They are analogous characters to J M Barrie’s creation Peter Pan, a figure whose defining feature is eternal youth, a boy forever, fetishising the state of childhood. Peter plays the pan pipes, an instrument named after the god Pan, and in possessing the secret to flight appears to be a free spirit – and yet ‘he can never quite get the hang of [life]’.[i] Exaggeratedly careless, the iconic character appeals to the desire in readers to regain the laissez-faire boldness of youth. Today however, this idealised formative country is under siege. All This Panic portrays a post-wounded girlhood where beneath the ritual of performative femininity – make-up routines and coven-like cliques – is a terror at what may be waking, at what has to be covered up.

> What All This Panic highlights is how the milestones and expectations young people are expected to meet as they carve out lives for themselves are literally ‘rites’ exerting immense pressure upon the individual to follow them, to perfect each one: the correct clothes must be worn, the magic words that will make everyone want to be friends with you must be said, everything must be documented online, everyone must know when you start having sex for the first time, and you hide the 99% of things which don’t measure up to the pretty and perfected life – such as losing your mind. But what happens when these rituals fail, when the sacrifice is not enough, when things go wrong, and the sleeping demon is woken? Panic.

> The artist Laurie Anderson treats panic with a dose of hope in her video We Are In Constant Panic Mode. She would have us ‘try to see these great surges in a mode that’s not panic’. When a wave of anxiety approaches instead of drowning in it, we should ‘find a really good way to ride that. Fighting is a disaster’. What I took from Anderson’s observation is that perhaps the death of panic is found not in liberation from fear but in its acceptance. As the news that ‘The Great God Pan is Dead’ struck despair through the hearts of the ancient citizens of Palodes, they were simultaneously freed to explore new conceptualisations and interpretations of the world. We have a habit of killing our gods, of suffocating our emotional life, denying our desires. Perhaps after all it is not the panic which must be fixed, but the rituals we are restricted by. Rituals which are distancing us from nature and distorting our spiritual clarity – rituals which are creating, rather than placating, all this panic. But first there are more immediate things sufferers of anxiety can do – seeking medical help, taking (prescribed) pills, reducing intake of caffeine and alcohol, meditation and reconnection to the natural world. Like first figuring out how to have an orgasm, the body and brain must learn how to make positive joyful connections rather than repressing those pathways, and that is what anti-anxiety medicine can help create. The stigma around taking pills and the fearsomely described side effects led me to the most ironic panic of all – anxiety over taking my anti-anxiety medication. But I took it anyway and stepped outside the prison of my panic. And that is how the ritual ends.

~

Text: Rhiannon Auriol

Illustration: Maria Sledmere

Published: 19/3/20

[i] Barrie, J. M. Peter Pan. 2008.

#essay #essays #panic #Rhiannon Auriol #criticism

[auburnfamilynews]

The top teams in the Southeastern Conference are on the way up in a big way. Six teams are riding waves of fan and media expectation, nationally ranked and living life in the fast lane. However steep the incline ahead, there is strong support at home, favorable statistics showing a range of capability both in and out of the conference arena. Even normally critical pundits are pointing to the rankings where half the top ten are SEC teams from every point of the compass and expressing how strong the conference obviously is.

And yet, the same cannot be said of the bottom eight teams of the league. They have taken a big step back from the level of expectation normally allotted SEC teams at the start of October. In any other year, these teams might have one bad loss or even one bad play from perfection by the start of conference play.

But that’s not what is happening this year. In fact, the top six teams in my numbers have just one loss collectively. The bottom eight? Twenty two losses, an average of just under three a piece at the start of the second month of the season. Every one of the under achievers has at least one non-conference loss. Some have two. 

What’s going on?

What used to be a given fact about the Southeastern Conference was that they would dominate everyone and give each other a couple of hard-fought losses while other conferences had one or two competitive teams who would coast into high stakes bowl games or national championship races. That hasn’t happened this year. To be sure, those at the top end are as fiercely dominant against all comers, be they power five or other FBS teams of note. Those few teams are playing at a very high level of competence and skill. But at a certain point, that quality drops off dramatically, and a gulf is forming between the haves and have nots that widening as the season progresses. 

Take a look at what is showing in this week’s numbers.

The standard of play

Look! There’s another top ten opponent ahead!

SEC West Offense

Alabama and LSU are still topping the charts, with a bye week for the Bengals and an Ole Miss punching bag for the Tide. But based upon this last weekend, there’s a new kid in town, and he’s growing up before our very eyes.  Auburn’s offense has transformed from a mistake prone timing mismatch collection of parts to a well-oiled and highly efficient machine. This is just in time for the biggest games on the schedule – a brutal road series before the final November showdowns of Amen Corner.

The rest of the West? Somewhat lost in the spinoff of the early season and doomed to a series of blowouts and poundings by the big three as the season breaks down.  It’s only week five and the four bottom teams already have ten losses combined.  This won’t get any better before November and it might mean up to three SEC West teams will have under six wins by the end of the season. Bowl eligibility might become an insane issue before long.

SEC West Defense

Defensive numbers suffered a bit this last week among the teams  that played.  Auburn gave up yards and scores late in the game, as did Alabama as both teams rotated their bench through the game. In many cases, those yards and first downs were against third string talent.

The rest of the division is seeing a drop due to more competitive conference play. However, there is still fairly high numbers in key categories -3rd down and Red Zone, for instance. It is still a core trait of the SEC West – good defenses for the most part.

SEC East Offense

In the East there are only two good offenses, with Missouri only having to be good to be competitive due to scheduling. I’m planning to watch their numbers as the Florida and Georgia games approach as that will be a better guide to what their chances are.

The rest of the East is also doomed to be cannon fodder for the other three. Again, bowl eligibility is looking like a real concern for the bottom half of the Southeastern Conference. If these numbers continue, you’re going to see some odd pairings come bowl season. And likely, some fairly odd results.

SEC East Defense

Again, the separation between the top three and bottom four are widening greatly and it’s only October. Three teams are sporting super hero capes and the rest are using matador capes as the opposition runs past their defensive players. Ole’!

In all seriousness, expect this line of numbers to continue with few changes as October comes and goes. I don’t expect much change relative to the final numbers as I don’t see any surprise resurgence from the bottom or a sudden drop from the top. The chasm between is just too large to bridge one way or the other.

State of the Conference

Six teams above and eight teams below. That is the split between the top remaining teams in the SEC and the lower also-rans. You can see it most clearly in the above table. The drop off is immediate behind Missouri and continues down the cliff rather precipitously. Eight efficiency points separate the top six teams. Eight points below that encompass only two other teams – Texas A&M and Mississippi State. Then the numbers really begin to bottom out.

Where does this leave us? Well, I think there will be a slight shuffle above for the Division and Conference titles and likely a mad scramble below for the magical six wins for bowl eligibility and not much else this year. The quality of play is so far apart as to make the conference almost a shell of it’s former competitive self.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had this building over time since about 2016 with the wholesale changes in coaching staffs that occurred back then, but it has never been this stark a difference this soon in the season numbers. This might have previously happened in mid to late November, not the end of September. I haven’t seen this great a gap between the haves and have nots so early in any season since 2000.

However, as concerning as the above is for the conference in general, I can’t help feeling the Tigers are on a roll. Gus is calling plays again and having a blast, the team is tightly focused and performing well, and we look poised to go on to great things. Which is why I chose the great Western musical Paint Your Wagon as the theme this week out West. I couldn’t get the theme song out of my head when looking at the numbers (or the idea that Bo Nix just might be the kid Horton Fenty that Ben Rumson takes under his wing – unbelievably good at everything).

Where am I goin’? I don’t know When will I be there? I ain’t certain What will I get? I ain’t equipped to say

But who gives a damn? Who gives a damn? Who gives a damn? We’re on our way

Paint Your Wagon (I’m On My Way) lyrics

I’ll be happy just to reach the bye week unbeaten with no injuries. War Damn Eagle!

Note – want to watch something fun? Take a look at some of the SMU offensive series in their first couple of games. Seem familiar? Rhett Lashlee is lighting up the scoreboards just like Gus is doing in the SEC. But the way he is doing it is equally impressive. Watch the play of their quarterback, linemen and running backs. Very interesting to compare and contrast to the Tigers.

The post Tiger-Eye Review – On our Way Edition appeared first on Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog.

from Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog http://trackemtigers.com/tiger-eye-review-on-our-way-edition/

#IFTTT #Blogger #auburn #auburn fast #wareagle #AuburnFamilyNews #war eagle #sec #football news #aubu

[jodyedgarus]

The NBA’s Southeast Division Is Historically Awful

For the most part, divisions in the NBA have become more a formality than anything else. It’s been four years since the league last guaranteed division winners home-court advantage during their first-round playoff series, and it’s been 12 years since division winners were guaranteed a top-three seed regardless of their record.1 These days, the top team in a division is not guaranteed to make the playoffs at all — the top eight teams from each conference advance to the postseason regardless of division alignment.

If we’re being completely honest, it sure seems like the only real use the league has for divisions these days is scheduling.2 The only other benefit appears to be the occasional excuse to make fun of the lonely division winner banners that hang in the rafters of Madison Square Garden.

But this season, one of the league’s six divisions really stands out — and not for a good reason. Not a single one of the teams in the Southeast is above .500, with the Charlotte Hornets sitting in first place at 27-28.

No division winner has finished below .500 under the NBA’s current alignment, which was established in 2004 when the league expanded to 30 teams and split them into six divisions to accommodate the then-expansion Charlotte Bobcats. Since Charlotte re-entered the league, the worst division winners were the 2005-06 Denver Nuggets, the 2006-07 Miami Heat and the Southeast’s winner from a year ago, the 2017-18 Heat, which each finished with 44 wins and a 0.537 winning percentage.

Only 14 division winners (including this year’s Hornets and Houston Rockets, who are leading their divisions) since 2004 have finished with a winning percentage south of 0.600 — otherwise known as the teams that won fewer than 50 games (or the lockout-shortened season equivalent) and still managed to win their division.

The worst division ‘winners’

NBA division winners (or leaders for the 2018-19 season) with a win percentage of less than 0.600, since the league expanded in 2004

RANK Season DIVISION Winner WIN pct. 1 2018-19 Southeast Hornets 0.491 2 2017-18 Southeast Heat 0.537 2006-07 Southeast Heat 0.537 2005-06 Northwest Nuggets 0.537 5 2004-05 Atlantic Celtics 0.549 6 2006-07 Atlantic Raptors 0.573 7 2018-19 Southwest Rockets 0.582 8 2015-16 Southeast Heat 0.585 2013-14 Atlantic Raptors 0.585 10 2011-12 Atlantic Celtics 0.591 11 2017-18 Northwest Trail Blazers 0.598 2016-17 Southeast Wizards 0.598 2014-15 Atlantic Raptors 0.598 2005-06 Atlantic Nets 0.598

Source: Basketball-Reference.com

There are also signs that this year’s Southeast might be among the worst overall divisions we’ve seen during the 30-team era. The current combined record of the Hornets, Heat, Washington Wizards, Orlando Magic and Atlanta Hawks is just 119-159. That works out to a 0.428 combined winning percentage — worse than all but eight other divisions since the 2004-05 season. So in terms of the ability of its teams to actually win basketball games, the 2018-19 Southeast ranks among the bottom 10 percent of all divisions since the most recent league expansion.

Top 10 worst collective records among NBA divisions since the league expanded in 2004

RANK Season DIVISION WIN pct. 1 2009-10 Atlantic 0.385 2 2014-15 Atlantic 0.395 3 2015-16 Atlantic 0.407 4 2005-06 Atlantic 0.415 5 2004-05 Southeast 0.417 6 2017-18 Southeast 0.420 7 2013-14 Atlantic 0.422 8 2005-06 Northwest 0.424 9 2018-19 Southeast 0.428 10 2008-09 Pacific 0.429

Source: Basketball-Reference.com

The season isn’t over yet, though, which means there’s still time for the Southeast to get even worse. Washington just traded away Otto Porter and Markieff Morris at the deadline after its star, John Wall, suffered a torn Achilles tendon that will keep him out for at least a year. Miami, likewise, shipped away rotation player Tyler Johnson and received very little on-court help in return. The Hornets did not add Marc Gasol, as had been heavily rumored, while the Hawks are finalizing a buyout with Jeremy Lin, according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, and could potentially do the same with Dewayne Dedmon. The Magic added former No. 1 pick Markelle Fultz but dealt away Jonathon Simmons to do it, and Fultz is more of a future asset than a present one, anyway.

Accordingly, the FiveThirtyEight NBA predictions expect this division to fall off slightly: The division’s combined projected winning percentage is just 0.420, which would rank sixth-worst among the group of 10 teams listed above. Additionally, the Hornets are projected to win the division with a record of just 38-44, which would fall an incredible six wins short of the 44-win 2018 and 2007 Heat and 2006 Nuggets.

What’s remarkable about the Southeast, though, is that each one of these teams has managed to post a losing record despite the opportunity to rack up wins against other Southeast teams. As a result, the win-loss records might actually undersell how bad the division really is. Consider two more reliable indicators of team quality: point differential and Basketball-Reference.com’s Simple Rating System (SRS). Point differential has been shown time and again to be more predictive of a team’s future performance than actual win-loss record, while SRS takes point differential and adjusts for strength of schedule, then scales that adjustment so the league average is 0 and every point represents one point above or below average.

The 2018-19 Southeast division has the fifth-worst combined per-game point differential of the 30-team era. And when you adjust for those five teams’ relatively soft schedules, they’ve actually been outscored by 3.050 points per game, seemingly confirming this as the fifth-worst division (out of 90) since the then-Bobcats and now-Hornets came into the league. And given the aforementioned roster realities, it’s not at all difficult to see the Southeast sinking further into the depths of despair.

The Southeast is even worse when you account for schedule

The worst NBA divisions by Simple Rating System and point differential since the league expanded in 2004

RANK Season DIVISION Pt Diff. SRS 1 2014-15 Atlantic -3.6 -3.924 2 2013-14 Atlantic -2.7 -3.212 3 2005-06 Northwest -3.4 -3.134 4 2009-10 Atlantic -3.0 -3.066 5 2018-19 Southeast -2.6 -3.050 6 2004-05 Southeast -2.4 -2.646 7 2015-16 Atlantic -2.5 -2.572 8 2008-09 Pacific -2.3 -2.428 9 2005-06 Atlantic -2.3 -2.382 10 2013-14 Central 0.0 -2.314

Source: Basketball-Reference.com

Despite the truly historic nature of the Southeast’s horribleness, the division is pretty much guaranteed to get at least one playoff team this season, sparing it the ignominy of being the first NBA division in history to entirely miss the postseason. The dreadful Bulls, Cavaliers and Knicks will surely finish with the three worst records in the conference, which means the worst the Southeast champ can do is finish eighth in the East and earn the right to be smoked by the Bucks or Raptors in the first round of the postseason. (Even with the newly flattened lottery odds, those three awful teams also have a considerably better chance to land the No. 1 pick and the right to select Duke superstar Zion Williamson, while the Hawks, Magic and Wizards will more likely be left picking in the mid-to-late lottery, possibly dooming the Southeast to even more mediocrity in the future.)

Meanwhile, only one of the Clippers, Kings and Lakers is likely to be headed to the postseason in the West, despite all three teams being projected to finish with better records than every single team in the Southeast. If the season ends with the 38-win Hornets in the playoffs and, say, the 41-win Lakers staying home, perhaps the NBA will finally decide to move to an open-seeded playoff system — with the best 16 teams making it to the dance regardless of conference alignment.

Check out our latest NBA predictions.

from News About Sports https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-nbas-southeast-division-is-historically-awful/

[yourzanystudentbear-blog]

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For an activity that many people do numerous times each and every day, consuming is embroiled in confusion as well as debate. The highlighted short article in Time Publication 1 covers 15. Here, I'll delve into my top 7 choices of methods which workout makes you feel and look younger. Inning accordance with the writers, further research is needed to figure out whether or not the reduced inspiration for food persists lasting if you work out routinely. Exercise additionally improves circulation, driving even more oxygen into your cells and also circulating immune cells in your blood. Baylor regents told The Wall surface Street Journal their decision to fire coach Art Briles surpassed the school's requirements to cops sexual assault on universities. James Stewart - that was making his return following his suspension - decreased behind Canard as well as was out for the rest of the night with a wrist injury. You intend to maintain posession of the sphere as well as keep the clock running when you are in advance in a video game, also by a massive margin. Rather, consuming great deals of carbohydrates activates your parasympathetic nervous system, (which promotes power storage-- the full opposite of just what you're going for. That claimed, particularly with younger professional athletes, it is necessary to identify that more significant gains can be made through a well organized training and consuming plan that advertises enough power consumption, while satisfying other sporting activities nourishment objectives e.g. re-fuelling. . Records () the unidentified female submitted a suit last week alleging that former Scarlet Knight football gamers Marques Ford and John Bowers sexually attacked her after she consumed alcohol way too much as well as ended up being incapacitated at a November 2015 celebration.

Despite such uncertainties, sustaining healthy energy synthesis as well as mitochondrial function via nutrition might be fairly valuable for reducing several of the signs. A slow begin to Saturday's video game and a sluggish fourth quarter doomed the Bulls as they was up to the Hornets 102-96 prior to a group of 21,770 at the United Facility. Normal strolling (upwards of 7,000 actions a day) is additionally crucial, in addition to routine workout. Alcohol also plays a major role in the false impression about sex-related criminal offenses and also mistreatment of females. A number of sexual assault targets have actually submitted Title IX legal actions versus Baylor, accusing the college of carelessness in its handling of sexual offense claims. This research is of rate of interest, and may reflect that those who work out have much less pain compared to those that do not. But you don't have to set aside hours for workout daily," states Tony Wanich, MD, a sporting activities medication expert and orthopedic surgeon at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, N.Y Stewart did not call the train that is declared to have sexually mistreated him, yet he went into detail concerning the ordeal that took place in the 1970s. I found that exactly what we made with our bodies impacts our minds, our emotions, as well as our energy. Scientists have been linking the advantages of physical exercise to brain health and wellness for many years, but current study 4, 5 has made it clear that both aren't just merely associated; instead, it is THE partnership. http://lechangementpositif.info/ published in the journal Medicine as well as Scientific research in Sports and also Exercise validates that for the ordinary person exercising by resistance training, the number of repeatings (the variety of times a muscle mass or group of muscles is utilized to lift a weight) is not of major value; a single collection of repetitions was discovered to be nearly as reliable in maintaining fitness as 3 sets. Nourishment consumes alcohol and drinks, healthy protein powders and also healthy and balanced snacks aid make certain the body makes use of nourishment appropriately as well as could help reduce the crash after a tough workout. Tracy has no direct connection to the Baylor detraction - Art Briles being just about terminated, blamed for allowing a society of sexual offense that an independent record wrapped up had actually taken place for years. Hogshead-Makar, that won 3 gold medals and a silver medal in swimming at the 1984 L.a Olympics, stated loan additionally assists discuss why numerous institutions are accused of indifference when it concerns complying with Title IX's needs in sexual offense cases. The currently retired three-time Monster Power Supercross Champion reflects back on his big pay day. An upright bike enables you to rotate faster as well as is best booked for an injury-free, experienced exerciser. Bands and tubes can be tied into loops (otherwise currently because shape) as well as positioned around the hands or forearms so you don't have to grasp them with aching fingers. His clean-cut track record took a hit when ladies began telling authorities in numerous cities similar tales of passing out while consuming with him and waking up dazed to locate they had actually been sexually abused. Decreasing dietary fat is a very easy way to minimize energy consumption and promote weight loss. The Extreme Rage Pure Power 24 oz. CO ₂ Cylinder with Pin Shutoff will give, about, 1200 shots each fill (depending on pen). Together with plenty of healthy protein, the ideal energy bar should also have a healthy and balanced dosage of carbohydrates as well as fat. Utilizing rolling seats, pivoting footplates and also arm light beams, you can profit of your rowing machine: a well-rounded workout that tones your body while reducing physical stress and also discomfort when compared to other health and fitness tools. http://lechangementpositif.info/ recognize made it through the salacious remarks, harassment and unjust stereotypes to find wonderful success, but their toughness in the face of such treatment should not be a requirement of the task. It is very important to be critical with carbohydrate around training sessions in order to fuel desired training adjustments as well as aid recuperation, while still creating a power deficiency to achieve weight reduction. The report also explained students gaining sexually themed nicknames based on performances other band members appointed them: One lady trainee needed to claim to climax while sitting on the lap of her more youthful bro, a fellow band member, and also others acted to be sex toys, prostitutes or body parts. The Commissioner might put a gamer accused of domestic violence, sexual assault or youngster abuse on paid Management Leave for up to seven days while the allegations are examined prior to making a corrective choice. Professional athletes aiming to enhance muscle dimension and strength will certainly take advantage of picking a power thick recuperation treat that gives a great source of carb and also protein soon after training (see the Recovery nutrition" truth sheet for ideas). Obtain relocating with Stamina and also Flex, a five-week exercise strategy to raise your stamina as well as versatility (not ideal for wheelchair customers). This is difficult to do, as one objective is a product of an adverse power equilibrium (intake that is less compared to needs), while the various other is best accomplished despite a positive power balance. On a disadvantage though, a great deal of newbies injure their back's doing this exercise. Cleaves, 39, was accuseded of unlawful imprisonment, assault with intent to dedicate sexual penetration, second-degree criminal sex-related conduct as well as third-degree criminal sexual conduct. Ubiquinol is the reduced form of CoQ10 - the efficient type your body normally utilizes to move complimentary electrons. The AP is not calling the lady since it does not generally determine individuals that claim they are targets of sexual abuse. Electrolyte beverages and healing drinks could come to be an essential part of your workout routine, helping to keep you concentrated on the task available as well as established yourself for success.