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worryinglyinnocent · 4 years

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Fic: Jump

AU-gust Day Eleven: Farm/Ranch AU Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Rumbelle

Rated: G

Summary: Belle and her horse, Philippe, move to a new town, meeting former show-jumper Gold. A friendship blossoms between them and begins to move into something more.

Jump

Moving across the country was a very different experience when you also had a move a horse. Belle had almost turned down the job opportunity of a lifetime until she had found riding stables just outside Storybrooke who would be happy to let her rent space for Philippe.

Now the day had finally arrived to get him settled into his new home. She had taken a couple of tours of Gold Stables and Riding School before moving to Storybrooke, and she had found them to be clean and roomy, with the resident horses well looked after. Neal and Emma Gold, the owners, were friendly and welcoming, and Neal was chatting with her quite happily as she got Philippe into his new stall until he stopped mid-sentence, looking out over the paddocks that spread out away from the stables.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” he muttered. “Em!”

“What?” Emma was standing in the yard with a group of kids on ponies.

“Dad’s out by the jumps again!”

“Oh, leave him be, if he wants to break his neck then that’s on him.”

Intrigued by the conversation, Belle peered around Philippe and down in the direction that Neal had been looking in (and was now standing shaking his head in despair). There was a set of jumps in the furthest paddock, and Belle could see a figure on a brown horse circling them at a fast trot. They were too far away for her to make out any features, and she decided that it would probably best not to say anything. It was a family matter, after all.

At length, Neal seemed resigned to his father’s stubbornness and continued his conversation with Belle, although she could tell that his attention was only half on her and half on the other paddock. After a couple of minutes, she took pity on him.

“You know, I should probably give Philippe a good brush, get him nice and relaxed. I’m sure that you’ve got lots of other things to be doing rather than talking to the newbie.��

Neal gave a grateful nod and rushed away after welcoming her to the stables again, and Belle put the incident to the back of her mind, concentrating on brushing down Philippe and combing the straw out of his tail. He never particularly enjoyed going in the horsebox, and she wanted to make sure that he was properly calm again before she left him alone for the night.

“Well, Philippe,” she said, palming him some apple and patting his neck, “I think that we might be in for some exciting times here.”

There was a clatter of hooves in the yard, and Belle looked out over Philippe’s stall door to see the horse from the jumping paddock being led in, its rider in a heated argument with Neal.

“Dad, how many times am I going to have to drag you away from those jumps? You know you’re not supposed to jump! You’re barely supposed to ride as it is!”

“You really think that I don’t know that, Neal? Let go.” He batted Neal’s arm away as he reached for the horse’s reins. “I might be crippled but I can take care of my own damn horse.”

Neal threw his hands up in defeat and left in the direction of the house, set back from the yard. His father sighed, looking first at Neal’s retreating back and then at his horse.

“He doesn’t understand, does he? I mean, he’s right, but he doesn’t get it.”

As he began to lead the horse across the yard, Belle noticed the heavy limp, and she could well see why he’d been advised not to ride. He stopped short on seeing Belle and Philippe peering out of their stall.

“Well, Imp, I think you have new neighbours. It’s been a while since you had some company.”

Imp snorted, and Belle couldn’t tell if it was in welcome or derision. She seemed to be eyeing up Philippe rather warily. Belle couldn’t exactly blame her; Philippe was larger than the delicate mare in all proportions.

“Welcome to the stables,” Imp’s rider said. “I apologise for that spectacle, but sadly it probably won’t be the last time you see it.”

He went to move past Philippe’s stall to settle Imp next door, and that was when Belle managed to put all the pieces together.

“Wait. You’re Cameron Gold, aren’t you?”

He stopped in his tracks and turned back towards her, giving a slow nod.

“Who’s asking?”

“My name’s Belle. Belle French. I’ve just moved to Storybrooke to take the librarian job. And obviously Philippe moved with me. I was a big fan. I am a big fan. I’m really sorry about what happened.”

Gold nodded again, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. “Yes,” he said softly. “Yes, so am I.”

Up until a few years ago, Cameron Gold had been one of the biggest names in professional show-jumping, until his horse had fallen badly during the final of the world championships. The horse, a prize thoroughbred named The Price of Magic and almost as famous as her rider, had been put down and Gold himself had been injured badly enough to end his career. He’d fallen into obscurity since then, and Belle didn’t know why she hadn’t made the connection sooner. Gold stables, Cameron Gold.

It was watching Gold in action at the Olympics that had made Belle keep up with riding, even when funds were tight, and it would have been financially advantageous for her to sell Philippe and all her paraphernalia. She’d not had enough money to be able to continue lessons once she was comfortable enough riding alone, so she’d never been able to learn to jump, but it had always been a pipe dream of hers.

She shook herself and got back to brushing out Philippe’s tail. So, she had met the man now. They always said never to meet your heroes, but Gold had seemed nice enough in the few moments that she had spoken to him. She tried to reason with herself that she wasn’t going to bump into him again, but then, if he lived at the stables with Neal and Emma and was out riding a lot, then she would likely see a lot more of him just by dint of them existing in the same space.

Belle sighed. He probably wouldn’t appreciate her hanging around and asking questions about a career that had ended extremely painfully for him, so it would probably be better if she just kept her mouth shut and pretended not to notice, as much as she might want to spend all afternoon talking to him.

Once she was convinced that Philippe was going to be ok, she left the stall.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, Philippe.” He nudged the sleeve of her jacket in protest and Belle sighed. “You silly sausage. You’ll be fine here. Neal and Emma will take good care of you when I’m not here, and there are lots of horses and ponies for you to make friends with. There are so many more than in your last paddock, and face it, you were getting a bit tired of looking at the same faces over and over. You won’t be fighting over that bush with Lady anymore, surely that’s something.”

She heard a low chuckle from the stall next door and peered in; she had forgotten that Gold was in there with Imp. Imp was giving Philippe the side eye, and Belle wondered if she had been a little too optimistic about Philippe making new friends in his new stable.

“Well, you’d be nervous too, moving to a new home and suddenly being faced with a bunch of stablemates you’d never seen before,” she said.

“Oh no, I completely agree.” Gold patted Imp’s flank. “You be nice to your new neighbour now, Imp. Don’t go putting on airs and graces now. I’m sure he’s harmless.”

“Philippe wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Belle agreed. Indeed, a fly had just landed on the end of his nose and it looked like Philippe was going cross-eyed trying to get a good look at it.

Imp poked her nose out of the stall, looked at Philippe, and gave a pointed snort. Philippe snorted back, and it wasn’t long before the two horses were engaged in a full-on staring contest. Gold rolled his eyes and sighed.

“She might be haughty at the moment, but she’ll be fine tomorrow. She’s just a bit highly strung; she gets that from her mother.”

“Is she… Is she Magic’s foal?”

Gold nodded. “Yes.” He stroked her mane. “I wasn’t going to keep her. She’s got jumping pedigree and she really ought to go to someone who can give her a chance to compete properly. But after I lost Magic, I couldn’t bear to let Imp go too.”

He paused, and when he spoke again, it was clear that the subject was changed. “Do you jump yourself? You’ve obviously got an interest in it.”

Belle shook her head. “No, I never had the chance to learn. Philippe’s probably too heavy to jump anyway.”

“I’m sure that’s nonsense, let me take a look at him.”

Gold left Imp and came around to Philippe’s stall, looking at him from a couple of angles. “No, he’ll be fine over the jumps. He’s large, but he’s not exactly a carthorse.”

Philippe snickered in hearty agreement. He, a carthorse? What a suggestion!

Gold went back to Imp. “If you’d like to learn, I’d be happy to teach you.”

“Really?” Belle’s heart began to beat a little bit faster. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to be an imposition.”

“I’m not exactly doing much else with my time.” Gold sighed. “Neal is right, I shouldn’t be jumping myself, doctor’s orders. I’ve only just got through enough physiotherapy to allow me to ride again. I’ve resisted teaching for a long time, but I think that the time’s come to accept I’m not going to be able to reclaim my former glory, and I might as well pass on my knowledge whilst I can.”

Belle smiled. “Well, if you’re sure, then I would love to learn.”

Gold worked her and Philippe hard and he could be a strict taskmaster, but Belle couldn’t deny that he was a good teacher, and he never pushed her and Philippe beyond their limits. She was never going to get to Olympic standard any time soon, but she was very pleased with the progress that she had made so far.

Her lessons would, she felt, be going slightly better if Philippe was not constantly trying to impress Imp. She had not noticed it at first, but as time had gone on and as she and Gold had spent more time on horseback together, she had noticed that Philippe was taking a definite interest in his stable neighbour. Whether or not Imp returned that interest was up for debate; she certainly acted aloof when they were in the yard together being brushed down after lessons. On the occasions when they had been loose in the paddock, however, Belle thought that Imp’s frosty side might be thawing out slightly. She had been spotted getting a lot cosier with Philippe than her demeanour in the stables would imply.

They were walking back towards the yard having finished a lesson, Philippe nosing at Imp who kept huffing at him to go away, and Belle glanced over at Gold. As cliché as it was for her to be falling for Imp’s rider as Philippe was falling for Imp, she knew that she was developing more than a little crush on Gold. She liked to think that they were friends – he was giving her lessons for free, after all, and they always got on with an easy camaraderie. Neal had even privately thanked her for giving his father something to focus on to stop him trying out the jumps himself again.

Still, Belle couldn’t help but hope that they could become more than friends.

They had reached the yard and begun unsaddling the horses, and Belle decided to bite the bullet. Do the brave thing, and bravery would follow, right?

“You know, since I moved here I haven’t really ridden much in the area away from the stable,” she said. “I’ve always kept to the paddocks, but I think it’s time for Philippe to stretch his legs a bit more. I was going to take a ride down one of the bridle paths tomorrow after the library closes.” She paused, buoying up her courage. “I was wondering if you and Imp would like to come with us? I was going to take a flat route; it shouldn’t be too taxing for your leg.”

For a moment, Gold looked at her as if she had grown a second head, and Belle began to worry that she had said something terribly wrong. “I mean, you don’t have to…”

“No, no, I’d like to. It sounds like a great lovely idea. I just thought that surely you’d have other friends your own age who you’d prefer to spend your time with?”

Belle shook her head. “Not really. I haven’t lived in the area all that long, and none of my friends can ride. Besides.” His shyness had served to build up her confidence a little. “I’d like to go with you.”

Gold smiled, a schoolboy grin of excitement, and Belle wondered ever more strongly if her feelings might be returned.

“Well, in that case, I’d like that very much.”

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #Belle French #Mr Gold #Ranch AU #AU-gust #Worry does AU-gust #Fic: Jump

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1stunseeliefaelass · 4 years

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Poisoned Darts and Words

Death and Strife found themselves accosted by a group of demons, who fancied themselves clever for their ambush. Despite how Death knew they were there before they got too close to ambush site. This fight was a simple one, almost insultingly so. Strife still had fun though, as per usual. Death meanwhile took this task on with some boredom. Killing the leader of this failed attempt was a little amusing though. However, once their blood had been spilt, Strife pointed out a something on Death's neck.

"The fuck's on your neck?"

"Hmm?" Death replied confused and feeling around for the object. He found it easily enough and only chuckled, "It's just a dart. Ha! These fools actually tried to poison me."

"So you're good then?" Strife asked him.

"Should be, so long as the poison is nothing I've not built up immunity to." Death states before they went on their way.

The two brothers continued to travel on for some time. Taking a simple road to avoid too much trouble. Being in the Fae Realm usually granted them the least amount of problems to deal with. However, Death was soon faced with one such rare problem. He felt seering pain throughout his body for a brief flash of moment, accompanied by the sudden blurring of his vision. He foolishly tried ignoring it, not wanting to worry Strife. But it soon progresses, the flashes come on stronger and for longer. He also becomes disoriented and his entire body flares up with intense heat and pain. Eventually it finally begins to overtake him, he can feel himself losing consciousness slowly.

He calls to Strife in a strained voice, "S-Strife...", before falling off of Despair's saddle.

Strife of course panics at first when seeing his older brother on the ground. It doesn't help when he feels Death's body is burning up as he lets out pained breaths. He eventually lifts Death onto his shoulder and lays him onto Despair's saddle, tying him down to be sure. Then he remounts Mayhem and quickly has Despair follow behind them as they try and find a place for Death to rest. This takes time, too much in his opinion. Eventually they find a town and Strife quickly dismounts Mayhem to knock on doors.

He hears from inside one home, "Does this man think I'm stupid? I'm not opening for a Nephilim."

Strife, stung but not surprised by the words, tries elsewhere but only hears, "Be gone from here you son of a harlot! I'll not have Lilith's spawn in my home!"

"WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN!" Strife shouted at them before searching for other places.

He found no such luck, only being met with cruel folk or racist bigots. Finally a tavern owner came out with a gun, determined to see to it that Strife and Death left their town.

"You're not welcome here Horsemen, leave."

"One, that crappy shotgun won't stop me. Two, my brother's ill. I only need to find him a safe spot to rest, and a doctor to treat him." Strife told him.

"Your presence brings nothing but fear and destruction! Why should we aid you?! Wouldn't the universe be better off without you?!" The man shouted back.

Strife hid his growing hurt and anger as best he could before telling him, "We mean no harm, I just need help for my brother. That's all."

"I won't aid any of you Nephilim, what makes you any different from your kin anyway?! What makes you lot so 'special' that we should care whether you live or die?!" The man bellowed.

"WE SERVE THE COUNCIL TO KEEP THE BALANCE IN ORDER! TO KEEP YOUR SORRY UNGRATEFUL ASSES ALIVE! Yeah it's a thankless job, and I can live with that! BUT FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE HERE! PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE IT REAL DAMN HARD TO CARE ABOUT THIS JOB! IT'S HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT YOU RACIST FUCKS INSULTING US EVERYTIME WE PASS!" Strife shouted in pure rage as he snapped at last. Only stopping his rant when feeling a familiar hand on his shoulder.

Turning around he saw Death fighting to remain standing, using Harvester to achieve it. Strife quickly grabbed him and began helping to get him back on Despair. Whilst at it, Death told him,

"Don't bother.....let's just go.....it's not worth the trouble...THEY aren't worth it...."

Strife stayed silent, only nodding after a moment of silence. Then once Death was secure again, he remounted Mayhem once more. His final words to the man came as he began to ride away with Despair following closely behind.

"Should you ever find yourselves in need of aid from anyone, don't come crying to us. People like you, aren't worth saving."

The man said nothing back surprisingly, but seemed a bit stunned by those words. As if he really should've been at all. With that, Strife hurried his pace with Despair matching it with ease. Strife ultimately brought Death to his home, a calm, humble cabin within some woods. It took even more time to get there, and at that point Death was back in his disoriented state again. Carefully Strife got Death inside and onto a couch for the time being. He then called up War and Fury for advice on what to do. Only for both of them to hurry to his home. Fury brought various remedies whilst War asked Strife how this happened. After an explanation from his older brother, War settled down and began helping Fury when asked to. Fury asked for Strife to help too, but found him sitting on a chair nearby. He'd plopped down onto it after being weighed down by the events of the night, particularly with the town. However when Fury sent War out to find a doctor as fast as possible, she asked Strife to take over helping. This he finally did, all the while feeling worthless. Fury could tell something was weighing heavy on him, but wasn't sure what to say in order to ease his pain. Assuming any words could ease the storm in his head currently.

Overtime War did return with a doctor that was willing to help, or rather just brought Azrael. Not trusting any normal doctors to do it and having no time to search. Azrael quickly found the problem and aided Fury in treating Death for it. War took the time to check on his older brother, as Strife was uncharacteristically quiet. Clearly there was more to the night that he didn't mention.

"You've been quiet."

"Oh yeah? What about it?" Strife asked him with a bit of a snap.

"Only that I know fully well that you're only this silent when something is troubling you. Is it about Death?"

Strife sighed, "Death being sick is only part of it. The town we ran into didn't help things, AT ALL."

War noted his brother's growling of the last two words and inquired, "Why remain there then? They were a waste of time. Refused to lend aid. Why not just move on?"

"BECAUSE WHAT THEY KEPT SAYING BOTHERED ME OK!" Strife snapped at him.

Fury and Azrael both turned around briefly to glance his way. Fury herself looked surprised by that and dared to ask, "Strife, what do you mean?"

"Come on sis you know EXACTLY what I mean! All the shit we hear from people on a daily basis, it was all in one place tonight! Got to hear it all from one man in fact! Course I've no doubt that the rest of the damn town felt the same way about us! I just got tired of hearing it! I wanted to set the record straight! To shut em up somehow!" Strife yelled as he paced the room.

Azrael sighed, feeling he had little room to speak on such things. He still decided to say something at least, even if it wasn't much help, "Strife, I fear you may always face such cruelty from others. Just remember that ultimately words hold no meaning when ignored outright. Focus on the good, on your family."

Strife stopped pacing and after a moment of tense silence, slammed his fist into a wall. War placed a hand on his shoulder, "If you need time to blow off steam, I can spar with you outside."

"Nah man, I don't wanna hurt you by accident. Too angry. Just need to go relax or something."

With that Strife went upstairs to try and sleep it off. Only to forget that sleeping while angry is a bad idea. His night is a long one for sure. And mixed with his concerns about Death, it just made it nearly impossible to sleep at all. The next day, he got up exhausted in more ways than one. Death was already awake, feeling better as his body was finally healing itself. Azrael wasn't around, and Strife expected as much.

Seeing his younger brother's exhaustion he inquired, "Strife, are you alright?"

Strife froze a second before looking up to see Death awake, "Why ask that?"

Death just shook his head, "You look worse than I do. Are you that worried about me? If so I'm doing fine. Should be well within a day or two in fact."

"It's not just that. Last night was just....overwhelming."

"Ah, I see. You shouldn't let what they said bother you so much. As I told you, it's not worth it." Death stated calmly.

"It's hard to keep ignoring it, when you hear it as much as me." Strife told him sounding a bit depressed.

Death didn't know what to say for a while, then finally said, "You said our work is thankless, however that's not entirely true."

"You don't know that for sure."

Chuckling Death replied, "Actually I do know for certain. You see Strife, we can still thank each other for many things. In fact, thank you for making sure I was treated. Even if the journey wasn't pleasant to go through."

Strife simply told him, "We're brothers, I'll always have your back. You know that. Even if you piss me off sometimes."

"And I'll always cover your back if need be. Just know that much, no matter who says anything bad about us, or what you hear everyday."

Strife smiled at that, "Thanks bro, I needed that."

"Also, if you need to vent, just come talk to me. I'll listen for as long as you want me to. If it means you don't get overwhelmed anymore, I'll do it." Death said with a slight warmth to his tone.

"Yeah, I think I'll do that. Thanks man, seriously. But what if you're busy?"

"Then ask Fury or War. I'm sure they'll let you vent to them too. Now then, shall we get breakfast started?"

"I can manage, you stay put over there. You still got some healing to do." Strife tells him simply.

"Very well."

#Darksiders #Darksiders Fandom #Darksiders Scenarios #Death #Strife #Fury #War #Azrael #Possibly Uncomfortable Topics Ahead

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flipomatic · 3 years

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Internship Chapter 14: Day 10 - Edric

Author Note: I’m currently working on chapter 30 of this fic. Since NaNo ended I’ve been feeling burnt out and have slowed down a lot. It’s still in progress though, and I expect to finish it by the end of this month.

First Chapter Previous Chapter

___________________________________________________________

When the dispatcher told Edric and Frederick that they would be assigned to the training hall for the day, Edric wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

On one hand, patrolling was the worst. On the other, trying to train new spells was almost as bad. He hadn’t bothered to work on the plant or healing spells, so he was sure to show zero improvement. It was certain to be another bad day.

Regardless, he had to go with Frederick to the training hall.

As usual, there were a few other coven members already there training. Unlike other days though, Frederick actually went to talk to one of them when they arrived.

“Hey, Nick!” He called across the hall to a witch who was practicing fire spells. The witch was in full coven uniform, so Edric couldn’t see their face. When they looked over, Frederick waved broadly. The witch put out his fire spell and jogged towards them, seeming to recognize Frederick.

“Frederick!” He said amiably. “How’ve you been?” When he reached them, the two grasped hands in an odd sort of handshake. Edric lurked behind, not wanting to get involved in this conversation. If they talked for a while, then his suffering would be pushed back.

“I’ve missed our patrols together. Other than that pretty good, been showing our intern the ropes.” Frederick released the handshake and then tugged Edward forward by his sleeve. “Edric, this is Nick. If I remember correctly, you met him on your first day here.”

Edric couldn’t recall meeting someone by that name. The only one coming to him was Mike, the coven member he’d patrolled with. “Hello.” He said politely; it wasn’t worth mentioning that he didn’t remember him.

“Nick Ralph, at your service.” Oh, so his last name was Ralph. Frederick was right; Edric had met him on the first day. Edric only saw him for a minute and he hadn’t made much of an impression. “How are you liking the internship so far?”

Edric put on his best fake smile beneath his mask. “It’s awful.” He said in a saccharine sweet tone.

For a moment, neither of the men reacted. Then Nick burst out laughing, bending over slightly from the exertion.

“He’s a gem.” Nick said after his laughter faded, as he lifted his mask to wipe his eyes.

“We’re working on discipline.” Frederick seemed far less pleased. “And we have training to do.”

Nick nodded, putting his mask back in place. “I have to get going to patrol anyway. See you around.” He saluted, which Frederick returned, then walked towards the exit.

That meant conversation time was over, and suffering time was about to start. Frederick started moving towards their usual training corner, gesturing for Edric to follow him. “Have you been working on your spells?” He asked while they walked.

“Before we talk about that,” Edric wasn’t ashamed to stall for more time. Even if he had to ask personal questions. “How do you know Nick? You seem close.”

Luckily, Frederick didn’t catch on to the stalling tactic. “We went to Hexside together.” He replied as they reached their corner. “He was on the abomination track and I was on healing.”

That was news to Edric. “You were on the healing track?” That was surprising, given his skill in plant and illusion magic.

“I can do a lot more than heal bruises.” Frederick replied, referencing the events of last week. “Speaking of, how is your chest feeling?” He sounded concerned.

The bruises had faded to a yellowish color over the weekend and didn’t hurt as much to the touch. “It’s healing.” Edric replied, not wanting to go into detail.

“Good.” Frederick nodded. “We’re going to work on spells and some basic weaponry today, let’s start with the plant spell.”

Edric sighed, then lifted his hand to cast it. He drew the circle like he should, but then just like last week there was almost no effect. A single root wiggled up half an inch out of the ground. That was it. Without being able to see Frederick’s face, Edric wasn’t sure how he would react.

“Try putting your other hand on the ground.” Frederick seemed to have far more patience than Edric, as he had already proven many times. “To better connect with the plants.” He maintained a calm tone, which honestly Edric was not used to hearing in response to failure.

It was worth a shot. Edric knelt down on one knee and pressed his left hand against the ground. He used his right to cast the spell. It did lead to a stronger effect, but only slightly.

Now the root was an inch out of the ground, instead of just half an inch.

“We’ll keep working on it.” Frederick said, still sounding confident. He crouched down to cut a nick into the small root. “Let’s try the healing spell now.”

It would feel overdramatic to sigh again, so Edric just rose back to his feet and cast the spell. Similar to the plant spell, it had minimal effect. The cut was only partially healed.

“You’re making progress.” Frederick was being way too nice when he said that. “I thought of another useful spell for you, one that’s great when working with a partner.”

Oh no, not another type of magic. Edric prayed that it was an illusion spell.

His hopes were shattered when Fredrick pulled a collapsible flute out of his pocket. “It’s an acceleration spell, super useful.” He lifted his mask to sit on his head, then started to play the flute. A wave of magic came out with the music, which was a fairly simple tune. It had the immediate effect of making Edric feel lighter on his feet.

“Please no.” Edric said bluntly. If it was possible, his bard magic was even worse than the other ones. He had tried a recorder once, nearly killed Em with the screeching sound.

Frederick stopped playing, almost pouting as he put the flute away. “Fine, but only because the other two still need work.” He pulled his mask back down over his face. “What else was there today… oh yes.” He hit one clenched hand into his palm as he remembered. “Wait right here.”

“Ok.”

Frederick walked back across the training hall, towards the rack of weapons. He stopped at it and examined it closely, likely looking for the ones he wanted to use. He picked up two wood swords and started walking back with them.

It was sword training time. Edric knew this was coming at some point, but he hoped it would be later. Or never, never was ideal.

When Frederick was close, he tossed one of the swords to Edric. The teen barely caught it, almost fumbling it to the ground.

“You need to be able to defend yourself, so it’s time to learn the basics.” Frederick said, placing his own wood sword on the ground. “Show me how you should hold it.”

Edric turned the sword so he could hold the hilt in his right hand. He spread his feet a little farther apart and brandished the weapon, holding that pose.

Frederick walked over and started correcting his posture, first by fixing his hand on the weapon. Then his knees, the width between his feet, and how he positioned his center of balance.

“The Emperor’s Coven primarily uses the sword defensively.” Frederick explained while Edric continued to hold the pose. His arm was starting to hurt from holding up the heavy wood weapon. “Can you cast with your left hand?”

“Yes.” Edric replied. He could do it, but the spells weren’t as strong as the ones from his right.

“Go ahead then, cast some illusions without dropping your stance.” Frederick proposed the challenge, picking his own sword up off the ground.

It turned out harder than Edric expected, especially with his right arm starting to shake. He lifted his left hand to draw a spell circle, and was able to create an illusion stand to rest the wood sword against.

“Not exactly what I had in mind.” Frederick said, though he sounded at least a little amused. “Go ahead and take a five minute break, then we’ll work on deflecting.”

Edric let the illusion drop, causing his wood sword to clatter to the floor. He stretched his arm, rubbing at the muscles to get blood flowing properly through it again.

“You’ll get used to it.” Frederick was watching him do the exercise. “And get stronger.”

Edric doubted that, especially since he would not be continuing a career in this line of work. “That’s unlikely.” He sat down on the ground, might as well take advantage of the break. Once he was seated he continued to stretch his arm.

While Edric rested, Frederick lifted his wood sword. He gave it a few practice swings, then switched to a two handed grip.

Fredrick swung a few more times, going through a few routines, then called to Edric. “Let’s get back to work.” He gestured for Edric to stand up, which the teen did slowly.

Edric picked his sword up and resumed the stance he was in before. Frederick gave a couple instructions on fixing it, but not nearly as many as before.

“See, you’re already improving.” Frederick complimented his clearly sloppy form. “Now we’ll work on one handed blocking.” He lifted his wood sword, pointing it in Edric’s direction. “When I swing, lift your sword to block.”

Frederick took a couple steps towards Edric, swinging his sword in a slow diagonal motion. Edric quickly lifted his to meet the strike, and the two clashed together. The impact hurt against Edric’s hand as the hilt jostled in his grasp. Frederick pulled back, and it took all of Edric’s concentration to not drop the sword right back onto the ground.

“Keep your elbows up when you move.” Frederick offered a correction, as usual. “Let me show you why. I’m going to come again, this time hold the position after you block.”

Edric nodded, already exhausted. When Fredericks sword came again, he lifted his own to block it. He was slightly too late this time, and the two collided much closer to his body. As instructed, he held the pose.

“Right now your elbows are down, this is how blocking like that feels.” Frederick leaned forward, applying pressure on Edric’s block. It was heavy, and difficult to maintain the block. He almost sighed in relief when Frederick pulled back.

“Keep your sword up.” Frederick reminded him, snapping Edric back to focus. He walked over and lifted Edric’s right elbow, bringing his arm to a different angle. He then went back to put his sword where it was before. “This is how it should be, with your elbow in the right spot.” Frederick again applied pressure to the block, but it wasn’t nearly as heavy this time. It still took a lot of effort to hold and Edric was still weak, but it didn’t feel out of control.

“Remember how that feels.” Frederick said as he backed away. “Go ahead and return to your starting form.”

Edric did so, his arm muscles once again complaining.

The pair continued working on this technique until lunch, and then for a while after as well. When Edric complained while they ate, Frederick explained that he was worried Edric would be injured even worse than on Friday without proper defensive training.

The bruising on Edric’s chest made it hard to argue against that.

Edric did okay until the strikes started to speed up. He could either have the correct form, or be fast enough. To do both was just beyond him, especially after a long day of training.

“We’ll keep working on it some other time.” Frederick said after knocking the wood sword from Edric’s hands during a failed block. “Go get a drink, then work on your plant magic.” Edric was relieved; even going back to the plant magic was better than this.

That didn’t stop him from taking his time getting that drink, of course. He had to sit on the couch in the lounge for a while to drink it properly.

By the time he made it back to the training hall, Frederick had put both wood swords back on the rack. He was working on some kind of bard spell, or maybe he was just playing his flute it was hard for Edric to tell.

Edric went far enough away from him that the flute playing could be ignored and set about working on his magic.

He didn’t plan to work on the plant spell, no, he had something better in mind.

Illusion magic revenge for sword fighting.

Next Chapter

#the owl house #the owl house fanfiction #edric blight #this is still a thing #i'm tired y'all #of writing this fic #it's too long lmao #but i guess i'm still learning as i write #about how to persist #so silver lining #flip writes

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frankensteindotpdf · 5 years

Text

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :)

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real) just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

#tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #starkid #team starkid #analysis #my poor friends have to deal with this 24/7 #i tried to channel it all into this lmao #um yeah i never analyze stuff so im sure smth is off #also im v v dumb so i probably missed obvious things #but yeah #its soooo long im so sorry #also spoilers....obviously??

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cheerisuu · 5 years

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Im Back.

Boy, how time flies fast when you’re busy keeping things feel right. I mean, they’re supposed to be. I’m going to make this update as quick as i can and as precise as i can, bet i cant do both tho lmao.

It has been approximately 3 weeks since Rock Bottom (i guess it’s what you call it? Well, close.) and things has been quite, nice.

The month of July has really been a journey of what felt like forever. Today is the 12th of the month and i have come to the point where i realised that the mind is the only thing that keeps us from doing or achieveing something that we want. And this applies to a couple of situations:

I learned how to do a buck tuck.

This is one of the few things i achieved as i underwent through a “therapaeutic healing” after the incident. I surrounded myself with the few people that im friends with in our Pep Squad and fortunately my friend Dapitanon, P. also had a common friend which made our days more progressive. Just the act of cheering for each other to do one’s best really lifts everyone’s morale.

“It’s really all in the mind.”

We ARE physically capable of doing things but our mind seems to think that there’s an invisible obstacle that prevents us from pursuing what we want to achieve. I realise this as we were practicing for a back tuck, which i proudly achieved (with a spotter pa hehe). But that achievement was already some proof that if i can have control over my body, i can do all things if i just believe just enough to do it right. Heck, I think I’ll attach my tuck video somewhere on here.

1st of July.

We went to a dog cafe.

Idk what’s with me but i really like to do something special at least once a month with him and WITHOUT telling him. After all, I can’t just let myself be carried away with the emotions that lead me almost to the verge of thinking it was over, right? So despite our awkwardness and difference of treatment (slight), I still picked him up (with miraculously good timing too) with our Navara and was able to use it for the whole day before returning it back to my Granddad’s. Did i mention he got car sick? It was the cutest. (Am i weird for saying that? Doesn’t matter tho lmao) i thought of going to the dog cafe cause i was thinking, “Hey dogs can like help with your mental and emotional health right? So why the frick not.” Im surely going to post a little GIF here somewhere on how cute the doggos were. And when i tell you, dogs CAN bring the purest out of anyone. We literally were like talking to babies man and boy the dogs were HUUGE, only the pugs were like “hey hooman u can luv me unlyk diz oder bitchez” haha. But if ever things do go well for us in the future, we are DEFINITELY going to get a golden retriever man. It’s my dream!

Anyways, we also got to watch our first movie as “barkada pero gusto ang isat isa” or BPGAII, it was Toy Story 4. And bitch, dont get me started on how we were wondering if it was a child’s movie or not coz boi, we did NOT like the jump scares at ALL. But still, me being an emotional, soft potato, it still made me cry in the end. The meaning behind was great it was all about taking the risk, which was kind fitting? For him at least hekhek. Basically Woody chose to be with his hoe, Bo, for Buzz, his bro. But this aint no movie review so, *boop.

I gave him my skin care?

Ok tbh this was so random right. He realised my skin was glowing better (coz bitch, we aint lettin no sadness ruin this skin ya feel?) so he asked what was i using cos he was contemplating on his gorgeous face that he was getting ugly now. (The audacity, am i right?? Lol) so i CLEARLY (no pun intended) put into the effort of giving him some travel bottles and put in some samples of what moisturiser and micellar water i was using right, and i guess it worked out well? I also got to drive it TO him still. But the good side of this was i was able to be with my Granddad and spend some time together as his driver hihi.

LADY DRIVER.

So I’m getting good at this driving thing right, as driving from Malaybalay to Cagayan, Davao to Tagum and vice versa, Tagum to Maco and back. So i might as well be good at city driving and yall cant tell me otherwise lol,

(SIDENOTE:except for the fact i got stopped by the Yellow Ranger in Ecoland coz i was at the left lane at a traffic light and my mom told me to go straight WHICH WAS WRONG I GUESS THATS A THING RIGHT, so i was almost charged 1500 pesoses. But thank Heezuz i was with my mom and she was able to talk through the officer but sadly we had to name drop my Granddad since he was a known regional director at LTO before. Sorry Pops, i swear it’ll be the first and last time.)

Back to real time, i helped him with his errands and was really lucky with the timing coz my Dad went off for a trip and my mom was left with his car. So yup, got the chance to borrow it for half of the day and drove all the way to Maa to get a keyboard his friend is letting him use for the mean time, her name is Jen and she’s the sweetest. (No backstory will be dropped for privacy). Aight, so we drove back to their house at Magallanes but didn’t have enough time to say hi to his folks coz it was noon and they were on siyestas, right. I still regret why i didnt like fake-pee or something tho. HahahahahahahDONTJUDGE. We ate for some late lunch at SML and felt korek coz before we joke about “asa ta nag park?” And now we get to be in the situation haha. It’s funny coz just when i thought things were detoriating between us, the world just chooses to keep things tight and close and say something like “oh, u guys are having an emotional conflict and struggle about ur relationship? Here are things that only REAL couples do and i hope u enjoy em!!” Dumbass. Jokes aside, I drove him home and goodbyes are still awkward, but i was starting to understand the type of ‘low-key’ he means.

Usapang Gym.

Oh wow it’s already the fifth point. If you manage to read this far, congrats! You get nothing but to keep on reading this rollercoaster wreck lmao. I wasn’t expecting he would pay the whole month at our gym and expects me to come with him. And it came to me: i kept on thinking that i should ask for assurance but in reality, he really does mean what he said about just being “me”. Things were different but things also got better. It’s like losing some and gaining some right? Like a body excrcising, losing weight, gaining muscle, idk its a weak analogy but its close enough for yall to understand. It’s our first week today, (it’s Friday) i hope i could keep up tho haha. I guess I’ll keep progress updated? Idkidkidk. Also, i got to mention thats he is VAIN af. Idk if its a good thing or just a tragedy waiting to happen haha. I also became his coach, (oha san kapa haha), he told me he wanted help with increasing his verticle as he would help me with abdominals. So i bought sets of ankle weights only to find out the first one didnt suit him so i had to buy another set. AND IT WAS HALF THE PRICE I BOUGHT THE FIRST SET AND IT WAS BETTER. Prices will be disclosed. (250) So i like, i do my own workout right and he suddenly shows his hot-headed side of things coz he was upset he had to go home early coz there was this no-towel-no-workout policy at my gym so we had to cut our day short.

In times like these, my mind just goes to places to different situations. All the what-ifs start filling up my mind on how he could react to other situations that would cause a similar effect on what his character was showing right. But in the end, i still give kudos to myself coz im able to keep up and cope with how quick his personality changes sometimes. And sometimes, im the one with a crack on the head lmao. Well, most of the time.

TAKE AWAYS.

Fast forward to this very moment, its 11:30 in the evening and im recalling all of this on a positive note. Today was an addition to a great day we had as a rest day from gym. We watched Spiderman: Far From Home and i guess its now my current favorite and HAD to watch it twice.

Speaking of Twice, bruh i want to do a dance cover so bad of #Fancy or #YesOrYes coz i been itching and the choreo is sooo goood! Not to mention Twice was in Manila last 29th of June. *sighs in broke* but i cant say it was the best concert from them coz there were complications like Jungyeon had a sty and was wearing an eye patch the whole concert, Dahyun got sick after along with Mina who wont be attending the 2019 Twicelights Worldtour because she gets anxiety attacks and feels insecure about performing on stage suddenly. I mean i know you got no idea what im talking about but its just sad to think of the fact that even someone so adored by many people, someone who has great physical, social and emotional support, can still feel the lack of these mentally. And if you’re one of those people who feels anxious about anything? I hope you get well soon and i hope you find the true meaning of your purpose in this simulation, because you are not alone. x

In addition to almost wrapping this up, i also treated myself again something from Adidas (coz again, bitch, if no man gon treat me i gon treat myself! HAHA!) which i later on realise i now own 3 bags from there and thinking to get a fourth one....someone help me¿ i also have to mention i already treated myself about a week ago (🎶) by waxing my own axillae, grooming my own brows, a gorgeous lippie from Beauty Cottage called Elegant Impressionist shade #9 Byzantine for half its original price haha, nothing beats fishing me through a sale. Speaking of treat, my Dad gave me my first pair of Tigers man and i cant help but tell yall its the same pair that the He wanted and it totally pissed him off that i got the pair he wanted first so bad and now he doesn’t know what to do coz he’s afraid if we have the same pair we might wear it at the same time and it would be cringy and weird (now for normal people that would sound cute right, matching kicks and all. But no. Not in this lifetime.), since im just blabbering of how im spoiling myself might as well end it here folks.

Guess I’ll keep you updated on how stuff might go on from now since class is fast approaching. Tomorrow I guess I’ll be attending a send-off party for our friend she’s going to the U.S soon. Oh, did i mention the re-run for Endgame is out? 🤔

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learmagazine-blog · 5 years

Text

Some Lite Irony

I meet Bum el Niño in a local coffee spot called Buona Caffe. The weird thing is, neither of us drink coffee, a kind of irony that Niño exudes in his work: contractions, opposing values, and a sense of clarity that seems slightly out of place. I want to figure out why this album sounds the way it does, where this sense of direction comes from despite the diverse sound scape. Every song on the record is unique. Unique enough to be on a separate album, a fact that of course is ironic as our first few exchanges at the table. I order a spiced tea, and find Niño at the table in the back. He has his own water bottle, which is weird only because he suggested we meet here, yet he orders nothing. I decide to ask him if he wants anything.

Niño: No, I’m ok, I got my water.

The water bottle is a blue 32 ounce wide mouth.

I: What do you usually get from here? You have any favorites?

N: Nah, I’ve had the tea once, but usually I don’t get anything.

I couldn’t help but think of the sign at the counter that asked that all guest purchase something. It seems Niño’s very presence here was a contradiction.

I: So this is just a good spot to conduct interviews then, huh?

N: I really don’t do press (chuckles).

I: Well think of this as a studio session (chuckles).

N: (Laughs): That’s cool. Turn me up on the left.

I: As a prerequisite for my studio sessions with new people, I am a little interested in past sessions.

N: Told you I don’t do press (chuckles). They’ve been productive, which might be another way to say boring.

I: For the latest project in particular?

N: Yeah, those been really productive, but I think the least boring one might’ve been Free Max B. That was a fun session.

I: That’s a compelling record. I imagine you’re referring to the second part. What inspired you, or should I say what inspired the smoothest brother?

N: Definitely the greats: Bootsy, George and ‘nem. Sly fasho. Probably Sly the most. I was thinking Sly would say some slick, pimp like shit like “I know you like to be polite, but baby I can do ya right” you know? And alot of funk seemed like the the soundtrack to black power. So I tell my people don’t give up so easy, which I think we know but forget sometimes.

I: People as in black people?

N: Yeah.

I: Of which we’re the only two here, if you noticed (laugh).

N: (Laughs) Oh yeah I always notice.

I: So this is kind of an interesting place for a studio session coming of this album. It seems like you’re making some strong statements about race throughout-

N: If you’re about to ask if the album is for Caucasians, then no (laughs),

I: (Laughs) That reminds me of a line on Let Loose: “I am not from the Caucasus, I am not Caucasian”. When I heard that line I thought of irony.

N: Ok, why’s that?

I: The line seemed out of place. I think you created a world on the project, in which white people are very, uh, absent. Like this album is that juke spot on the corner where the racial make-up is opposite of this spot. There are two of fewer white folks, and you can feel the results of their actions, like maybe segregation, but everyone is so concerned with enjoying their time, no one thinks about segregation or racism.

N: Except the conscious, afro-pick soul brother.

I: (Laughs) Exactly, that line on Let Loose is that dude, always chanting about the man keeping us down.

N: Is he a drunk?

I: Maybe a little (chuckles). It makes me wonder, who are you speaking to on the song? Which makes me wonder who you are speaking to throughout the project.

N: A bunch a different folks. ‘Cause you know how Let Loose starts right? Like (sings) “I know he need you”. So like a love interest is distracted by another person. But the chorus is speaking to America. Like black people been parenting and grandparenting this mug since it started you know? But I think that line came from seeing alot of people forget about the roots of Hiphop. They forget this is black music, even though it’s alot of people who ain’t black involved now. Them people don’t rap about helping us. Sometimes it seems like they exploiting the art form.

I: I see.

N: But your take is bonkers, I’m feeling that.

I: (Chuckles) I wonder if some themes you deal with are sort of difficult for the black community to talk about. There’s a line in Supa/Fun: “Fuck Clarence Thomas, God Bless Anita Hill”. That case was a little before your time, and I think about how some of us really thought Anita Hill should’ve sacrificed her own well-being for the sake of Thomas’ progression as a black man.

N: Yeah, that’s part of what built this country. Black people, and especially black women, putting themselves aside so other people can shine. But whoever don’t get that just being selfish. Those people couldn’t achieve their own accomplishments because their selfishness lead to nowhere, so it hurt them to see other selfishness get interrupted. That be some of them fist afro pick dashiki niggas too.

I: (Laughs) Are there times where you’re a fist afro american? I think of a line again on Supa/Fun: “I flow ‘cause they swam through my ancestor’s blood”. It seems like you’re providing the audience, which is our community, with consciousness. All these lines are amazing by the way. You wrote them all right? (laughs)

N: (Laughs) Yeah, I wrote everything except the verse on Lite In The Daytime. And yeah sometimes you gotta let em know.

I: Kick the knowledge. Speaking of Lite In The Daytime, this album sometimes feels like Rakim and sometimes feels like Pimp C. What were you listening to during the process?

N: Like I said, alot of Sly. There’s A Riot Going On. Probably listened to that like 50 times. A record by Bobby Hutcherson called Head On was in heavy heavy rotation. One of my homies from the web had the cover on his social media profile back in 2013, and I’ve been listening ever since. It gives me direction when I’m making an album. It’s where I got the seven track method, the switch-ups, alot of technical shit.

I: So hold on, homies from the web?

N: Yeah, met him through Instagram.

I: Ah, I’m not on that.

N: Quick story, he came to the city once bought me some breakfast, and dropped like 2 g’s on records. I ain’t even have no job at the time so I was like “yo that’s wild”, but you know, some people get down like that. (Laughs)

I: Do you collect records?

N: Not quite. I buy records to listen to ‘em.

I: (Chuckles).

N: Man some people buy records just to say they got ‘em, never play ‘em, just take pictures of em or brag about special presses or retail value. I think it’s silly. Like if you ain’t doin’ nothin’ with it, you may as well give it to somebody who can use it.

I: You mentioned Bobby Hutcherson; he’s a jazz musician correct?

N: Yeah, vibraphonist.

I: You might be the first rapper I’ve met who knows that. Did you sample any of his records on this project?

N: Can’t tell you that (chuckles). But nah I didn’t. But he inspired what I was trying to do alot. Sometimes you gotta have reverence when it comes to sampling. Some records shouldn’t be touched. Like have a top five that you’d never sample.

I: What are yours?

N: Hmm; it’s gonna seem like I was waiting on this question but Head On, I Fooled You This Time, Original Ragga Muffin, What Time Is It, and Is My Living In Vain. I’ll never flip anything on those. They’re too good.

I: That’s outstanding. That last one’s a gospel record correct?

N: Yeah, The Clarke Sisters.

I: So how’d you feel about the Jay-Z sample? (Laughs)

N: Terrible. (laughs) Like one of the worst flips I ever heard. But it’s on my forbidden list so I wouldn’t even touched it. Honestly, I didn’t care for the flip on Lite In The Daytime at first. But when the bass line hit I started feeling it.

I: How’d that song come about?

N: The homie I worked with, Jermond, was saying how he rapped. And you know, everybody be rappin’ so I ain’t really pay it no mind. Most of the time, I don’t take rappers seriously unless I hear ‘em do some freestylin’. I think that’s the mark of a dope emcee. So one day I heard freestyle and I was like “ok you got skills”, so I told him I made beats. Fast forward like two weeks and I’m listening to a famous harmonica player. I found like a six second section I liked. Broke up the notes in the [Boss SP] 303 and then played em backwards. Then I added some drums from a lil mini drum machine. Then I was like, this beat is trash. The thing about the 303 though is it saves workflow, so it was still even after I turned everything off. So the next day, I turned the 303 back on, and it was still there. I got out my bass machine and just started playing a random scale and boom, there it was. As I was playing the bass line, a hook came to my mind. It felt like some pimp shit (chuckles). You know Maya Angelou was a madame? So I thought of some Maya Angelou pimp shit (laughs), like I’m tryna put you on game, share some wisdom you know? Anyway, Jermond spit a dope freestyle, and one day we was at work not doing much and I showed him the beat and the hook. He was like “Oh snap that shit crazy” you know. And I was like “yo you wanna get a verse on here”, and he was like “Hell yeah”. I sent him the beat to his email. So fast forward another two weeks, and I recorded the hook. I also had a verse partially written down on the cover of a Klique record. So I hit him that day, no answer. Very next day: I was just about to go in to record that partial verse, and he calls me, kind of drunk. He was like “I got a verse ready man” and I was like “when can you record” and he hit me with the “I’m out of town these next couple weeks, but after that anytime”. Man I was like “aight” (laughs). So in the two weeks, I’m listening to the Streets Taste song and this instrumental, got them both in heavy rotation. And I think hearing together made me like the instrumental alot. The hook and the bass line made it more enjoyable for me. Two weeks pass, and I finally get Jermond in the studio.

I: (Laughs) And smooth sailing from there?

N: (Laughs) He didn’t have the verse written if that’s what you mean by smooth sailing. But he did bring a notebook and his own water. No pen though. So I had to play the beat over and over, and he finally got it finished, and recorded in a only a few takes. That’s when the smooth sailing probably happened. Like on his way out the door. But it was a fun session, and his verse ended up being the length of the rap section so it worked out. But yeah dope bass lines, catchy hooks, and listening a thousand times might make you like a beat more (chuckles).

I: (Chuckles): That makes me wonder, what are some of your favorite songs on this project?

N: Knock is wild. Shout out to Bruce and Daniel; they came through on them joints for real. I really love that (sings) if I had a-nother sack/I would roll it light it pass it around. That’s exactly the music I was trying to make. Of course Streets Taste. James was behind that beat. That was the first one that was made so everything else kind of fell into that genre. It’s like the running theme. What they call it, thesis?

I: Right.

At this point things started to make sense. The irony of being black in America ties this album together, tied this very conversation together. We don’t really belong here, but it wouldn’t exist without us. We all experience being black differently, but get treated with the same disdain. It seems that Lite Won’t arrive Late is summarizing or soundtracking this phenomenon. Niño continues.

N: Let Loose was a dope session. Art came in straight killing it from the jump. Harmonizing like Zapp and Roger and shit. Then we put that Color Me Badd on there. Oooooh!

Niño beings to sing the song, replicating the beat on the table with his fist, knuckles and snaps. As a white woman looks over, he simply continues, failing to acknowledge her. Again irony arises.

N: (Sings) I wanna bless you up! Ooooh. That joint was wild, man.

I: So since we’re back at Let Loose can you talk a little about your rhythmic approach.

N: Nah that’s a secret (chuckles). But lemme talk about skits. To all the sorry, non-creative ass rappers out there, you gotta be thoughtful about the skits. They gotta bring your shit together.

I: Do you think the skits help with the coherence?

N: Yeah that’s what they there for (chuckles). You heard Badillac?

I: Yes. Very powerful record.

N: ‘Cause the skits.

I: Were you influenced by any West Coast rap on that one?

N: Most def. I was tryna get that G-funk feel in the whole thing. Yo, Ice Cube had them skits!

I: (Chuckles): You drew from alot of comedians also. Was that intentional?

N: Can’t tell you none of that, but test in power to Bernie Mac.

I: Indeed.

Niño begins to rise, collecting his water bottle.

N: Is this the part where I plug the album?

I: It can be.

N: Well I’ll say go write ya’ll Congresspeople to get the monuments at the Legacy Museum in Alabama and work on ya’ll skits!

As I leave the coffee spot, Niño hands me a cassette tape of the album.

N: (Raps) Never put me in ya box of ya shit eats tapes (Laughs). Peace man.

The irony that Niño masterfully displays in this project, along with the technical skill, creative risks and wins, and themes of black empowerment makes Lite Wont Arrive Late required listening in this turbulent era, where too many give up on progression to easily.

Ian Greenwood is a journalist for Leer Magazine, father of five, and music professor at Paint University.

0 notes

rhina988 · 7 years

Text

Indecent Proposal - Chapter 11

Read from the beginning

Read Chapter 10

Jared’s POV

Great performance? Seriously? Is that what she thinks that was back inside? An act, a play pretend? I’ve never been more honest in my life, and this is what I get? How could she not have noticed that the kiss was more real than any other in her or my life? You can’t fake that kind of emotion. Let alone chemistry that was more than obvious. I could feel it, the moment I locked my lips to hers that day when we were leaving the restaurant, and she must’ve felt it too. Or maybe she actually hates me so much that she can’t see the true. Now I really don’t know how to feel about all this. I guess if she thinks that was an act, I won’t try to convince her otherwise.

“I actually did get an Oscar you know, and a couple of dozen other awards,” I pulled out a role of a smug as she thought I was.

“Yeah, I’m quite aware of that, ” she said obviously irritated as she continued to walk towards the car.

“So, when should you go and try out your wedding gown?” I asked Melody as we started driving home.

“Later today. Emma’s coming with me and hopefully it won’t take any alterations,” she said as she watched through the window leaning against her arm that was resting on the edge of the door.

“Excited yet? For the whole married life I mean,” I asked with no cruel intention, just trying to get her accept the thought of our life together more easily.

“More like petrified,” she said and sighed like she was seriously worried, “You know this is not how I imagined to get married. No woman dreams about her wedding to be like this.” She said and rubbed her eyes a bit. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me with the saddest look in her eyes.

“You shouldn’t worry too much. It’ll be over before you know it, we’ll get caught up with all the media attention and chaos that you won’t even notice a year has passed and you’ll be free,” I tried to make her feel better as much as I could, without making her angry again. The last thing I wanted was for us to fight once more.

“Yes, and a year of my life will be gone forever. I’ll never be able to get that time back,” Melody kept being devastated and apparently there was nothing I could to do make things bearable.

We just kept silent for the rest of the drive, because she closed her eyes and napped a while until we came home. I guess everything she’s been through for the last few days had a huge impact on her, and she looked tired day in day out.

Melody’s POV

Of course he acted everything out. Why did I even think he could actually be honest about this? I’ve spent so much time around him and yet I never payed attention to his behavior or ponder over it. It’s killing me that I can’t figure him out even a little bit. That kiss felt so amazing, and it started so many warm and fuzzy feelings inside me. Suddenly I felt safe and comfortable around Jared, which I never thought was gonna be possible. I even felt like he enjoyed and wanted to kiss me again, but apparently I was so wrong. I really wish the next year will fly by as Jared says it would, because I don’t know how much more I could take.

“Hey Em, we’re back” I said as Jared and I walked into the living room. Emma was sitting at the table working.

“Hey bride-to-be,” Emma said and giggled.

“Ugh… just don’t, please,” I rolled my eyes and approached to her to sit at the table, “What’s new with the plans? Any progress?”

“Absolutely,” she said and turned the lap top towards me to show me the flowers she had picked out, “What do you think?”

“Wow, I love them,” it was a mixture of white roses, and white lilies that was meant for the reception centerpiece, “they’re beautiful,” this was the moment when the idea about the wedding started to sink in. I’ve picked out the dress, now the flowers, and it wasn’t long before I was gonna walk down the aisle. I started to shiver all of a sudden, probably from all the excitement and anticipation to go through the day.

“Hey, are you OK,” Emma looked at me as I rubbed my arms to calm down a bit, and came closer to hug me.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit overwhelmed,” I said putting a fake smile on my face.

“Stop babying her Emma, she’s a big girl,” Jared said as he was coming towards the table to check out the flowers. I looked at him spitefully, and he just winked at me.

“Well, big girl, then calm down because you’ll need to be calm for what comes next,” Emma said, closed her lap top and stood up offering me a hand to hold.

“What,” I asked and stood up.

“We’re going to pick up your dress,” she said and wiggled her eyebrows.

I stood up took her hand and she pulled me closer to her putting her arm over my shoulder. She rubbed my upper arm to make me feel better. We went to the salon that she had ordered the gown at, so I could try it out and see if it needed any quick fix. We didn’t have much time before the wedding, so we could only hope it would fit perfectly. After I had put the dress on, got out of the dressing room and stood on the pedestal, I looked myself in the mirror and my heart started to race. My palms were sweating and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything became fuzzy and I heard Emma rushing to me to prevent me from fainting.

“Whoa, honey, are you OK,” Emma was so scared she almost started to shake herself.

I sat down on a sofa, and buried my face into my hands trying to calm down. I felt Emma’s hand rubbing my back, which did make me feel less anxious. I took a deep breath and lifted my head up.

“I’m fine. This was just so surreal. It was an unbelievable feeling… I mean, you remember how you felt when you got married… not that this is anything as close to your story, but…”

“Actually I had the exact same panic attack you did,” Emma interrupted me, and I was shocked at her statement.

“You did?”

“Yes, and my mom told me it was perfectly natural. I was getting married for the man I loved and seeing yourself in a wedding gown only makes the fact real and final. That’s the moment you became fully aware of the situation,” Emma said and had the weirdest smile on her face.

“I know, but I’m not marrying the love of my life. And I’m definitely not excited… more like petrified,” I said and huffed.

“Are you sure you’re not?” Emma asked and raised her eyebrows.

“You’re kidding right?” I stood up in shock, I couldn’t believe what she had asked me.

“I know he’s not the love of your life, but are you sure you don’t have any feelings for Jared?”

“I do,” I said and started pacing across the room, “I hate his guts, he’s arrogant, pretentious, he thinks he can boss everyone around … and I can’t wait for all this to be over,” I said and looked at myself once more as I paced through the room.

The dress looked really amazing. As if it was tailored exactly for me. There was nothing on the dress that needed alterations, so we could take it immediately. Emma stood behind me and we both looked at each other in the mirror, as a slight smile appeared on my face.

“There’s a fine line between love and hate,” Emma said and tapped my shoulder. She was right. I hated Jared for putting me in this situation, but at the same time, he made me feel like I’ve never felt before. Sometimes confused and devastated, other times aroused and safe when he was close. It was one of the most intense relationships in my life.

“I know, but I don’t plan on crossing that line,” I said and went back to the dressing room to take the dress off.

We got back home and found Jared at the studio recording. Finally some alone time.

“Hey, Em, I just remembered Jared was supposed to fly to New York on Sunday and then to Milan. Is that still on, or should I reschedule the flights?”, I said as I was sitting on the couch going through this weeks errands.

“Oh he’s going. I just have to make sure you’re flying with him too,” Emma said and chuckled.

“What? Why?”

“You’re going to be his wife on Saturday aren’t you? You have to be there with him,” Emma said and started to look for available flights online.

“Do I really? Why can’t I just wait for him here?” I asked nervously.

“Because I’m not going on our honeymoon alone,” suddenly I heard Jared coming out of the studio.

“Oh great, you’re here again,” I said and rolled my eyes.

“Did you really think I’d let my beautiful wife stay here alone on her first day of marriage,” Jared asked, leaned in to rest his arms on my shoulder, slightly wrapping them around me as I was still sitting on the couch typing. I instantly flinched and turned my head to face his, as he looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

“That would be perfect, if you asked me,” I said and pulled away from him.

“Well, since I’m not asking, you’re going,” he pulled me back and forced kissed me on the cheek. I felt shills going down my spine and I shook a bit. I looked at Emma sitting on the other side of the couch giggling to herself.

“What?” I asked irritated.

“Nothing…” she smiled and waved her head.

“Emma?” I insisted.

“You two are so adorable,” she continued to type and didn’t even look at me. Jared was already gone and I was so irritated by this comment.

“You find that adorable?”

“If you could see yourself from my point of view, you would think the same way. Trust me,” she said and got back to her work.

I didn’t say anything back, I’d waste my breath anyway. We were both working for a couple of hours and Jared went back to the studio. In the late afternoon the caterer showed up to bring us a couple of samples we should taste. He couldn’t make it earlier, but since we were at the house the whole day today, Emma told him to drop by whenever he was available. It had to be today because the wedding was in 4 days and we were in a lot of hurry.

He was tall, dark, handsome, and he made some amazing canapés.

“Wow, this is amazing,” I sad as I took a bite, “I think we should go with this.”

“Great choice,” he said and smiled at me, “shouldn’t we ask the groom-to-be what he likes?”

“He’s too busy right now, we could decide for him,” I answered and smiled back. He didn’t take his eyes of me, and I came closer to him to ask about some other treats. We started talking about the food, and he swiped in a couple of cheeky comments, which made me giggle. I tasted another canape, and as I smeared a bit of cream on my lip he started laughing.

“Um, you got some of the…”

“Oh, where,” I started licking my lips, but I couldn’t get the cream so he reached to get it.

“Here,” he swiped his finger over the corner of my lips, and I smiled.

“Thanks,” I could barely finish the sentence when I heard Jared clearing his throat from the other side of the room. I had no idea for how long Jared was standing there.

“Oh, you’re done,” I looked at him as I ate the canape.

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I,” he asked with the biggest frustration in his voice and started coming towards us.

“We were just… I was actually tasting the food for the wedding.”

“And he helped you by putting it in your mouth?”

“Jared?!” I was shocked by his statement.

“Um, no sir, I’m so sorry if I…” the caterer tried to excuse himself but it was in vain.

“I’m sure we won’t be needing your services,” Jared said and pointed at the front door, sending the caterer a clear signal he should get out.

“I apologize if this seemed inappropriate, but I was just trying to help.”

“By hitting on my future wife? You call that helping?” Jared’s voice got higher, and he approached the guy quite offensively.

“Jared please, calm down. He didn’t do anything wrong,” I tried to ease the things up a bit. Jared looked at me and his eyes darkened all of a sudden. He took a deep breath and looked back at the caterer.

“I will say this one more time, and you better listen. Get. The Fuck. Out!!!” Jared yelled and pointed to the door. The caterer picked all of his stuff and disappeared in a few minutes. Emma bumped into him on her way back from the backyard. She was talking to the tour manager on her phone, and she wasn’t here so she was shocked when the caterer ran outside.

“What happened?” Emma asked in shock.

“Em, stay out of this and just go,” Jared said and walked towards me. She listened and went to her office.

I started going backwards, feeling scared that he’s gonna attack me or something. Suddenly I was cornered by the living room wall, and Jared leaned in, placing his hands on the wall preventing me from escaping.

“Jared, what are you doing,” I started to panic. He grabbed me, and looked deep into my eyes.

“Don’t you dare do that again. Got it?” he said with the angriest voice.

“Do what?” I started to shiver.

“Flirt with someone else. Especially in front of me,” he said never breaking an eye contact.

“I wasn’t…”

“Yes, you were. Don’t try to make the fool out of me, because you’ll regret it.” he threatened me with no shame.

I would usually back down and burst into tears, but now it was different. For some reason I felt powerful and the shiver was gone. I pushed him away and he was baffled.

“What gives you the right to threaten me like this, huh?” I asked as he tried to wrap his head around the thought that I actually confronted him.

“The fact that you’re gonna be my wife. I won’t be ridiculed by anyone.”

“Just because we’re getting married, it doesn’t mean I’m in any way yours. And stop acting like the jealous fiancé. It doesn’t suit you.” I said arrogantly, and rolled my eyes. I could feel the sparks flying around as both of us felt enraged. I started walking towards the backyard, when Jared grabbed my arm and in one swift move turned me to face him. He grabbed me by both arms and pulled closer to him.

I gasped and felt his warm breath on my face. We were both breathing heavily, and my heart raced like crazy as I looked into his lustful eyes. Jared licked his lips, squeezed my arms tightly and leaned in to kiss me. I wanted to fight him so much, but I couldn’t. My knees felt weak immediately after his lips touched mine, forbidding me to move even an inch. He was savoring every breath we exchanged and our tongues rolled over each other’s as we were enjoying every second of this unexpected kiss. Finally his grip wasn’t as tight, and he slid his right arm at the small of my back, trying to pull me as close to his body as possible, while his left hand cupped my face, and his thumb caressed my right cheek. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling my knees slightly shaking.

“Did this feel like an act,” Jared asked as he broke the kiss, looking straight to my eyes.

I was still breathing heavily, and I tried to catch my breath. I opened my eyes and slightly sighed.

“Not really,” I whispered.

“Good. Because it wasn’t an act,” Jared said and let go of me. He went back to the studio leaving me all confused and flustered.

Chapter 12

Feel free to comment and leave feedback.

Let me know if you’d like me to tag you in the next chapters.

Hope you enjoyed it.

You can read the story on Wattpad too

https://www.wattpad.com/story/106715450-indecent-proposal

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shawnjacksonsbs · 3 years

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Forever parenting? It works both ways. 6-6-21

"When we choose to be parents, we accept another human being as part of ourselves, and a large part of our emotional selves will stay with that person as long as we live." – Mr. Fred Rogers

-Currently in my head is this thought, “My newest guilty pleasure is eating soft baked cookies without my dentures in. It feels so good, and the peanut butter. Just . . .yes" and I love how this is mine, and I can write whatever I want in it. Lol

Eh. . .em.

Tk . .tk . .tk. Is this thing on?

Ok, before we get started let me just say, it’s amazing being here once again on another beautiful and calm Sunday morning and no, it's not Father's Day, but this needed to be this here, now, today.

A pretty good Fred Rogers quote huh? That is good, bad, or indifferent for as long as they both know the other lives. Period. It just hangs there, whether or not it's a swing or a noose that hangs is kind of what we're looking for as the child.

No child wants to be born into brokenness. Not a single fucking one. Not me, not my kids, not your kids. Kids only ask for love and until they don't feel it do they even question it themselves anyway.

Some form of them [our parents] are in our minds, and hearts forever whether they are there physically or not and depends on so much more than love that it can definitely hurt sometimes.

Does design and intention equal purpose? Is purpose just to live life, or does it have some deep, cosmic meaning? That is my thought of the week I suppose. Your thoughts?

Now, I had to ask myself, do I try and be careful with most everything I say and do? Yes, I do . . .to a point.

Writing about broken, beaten, toxic, or just tough relationships with people can be difficult without airing any of the dirty laundry which sometimes played a significant role in straining said relationships, so, generally best to speak in “I” language, although, the important take away for me here isn't necessarily what we did to cause the strains, but what can be done to get to the complete other side of any of them that left without causing further damage. Right? With me so far?

I've had a very. . .strained relationship like that with my dad for the better part of 15 years or more.

We hadn't spoke for most of that until a couple of years ago, when my immediate family, to include my mom, step dad, my dad, my current step mom and other (lifetime) step mom (lol), brothers and sisters with their families, all met up in Mayview for a picnic reunion, get together. It faired pretty well with a few of us with those strains relationships got a chance to at least talk and see each other.

For me and my father, the conversation didn’t last terribly long and to say anything was actually mended would be a stretch, but it was enough to know that we still cared. It was going to help me move forward in my life with little less unfinished business that I didn’t want to be on my limited deathbed regrets list.

Not to mention, as difficult as it is to be the first to reach out it brought about other benefits like bringing my long-lost baby sister back into the fold of the family. She was the inspiration for the picnic.

My dad has some things in his life that has made it difficult for me to reach forward again. We've spoken a few times, and I thought that we had had enough through our limited time for me to be ok, if it never moved again with any more forward progress. But. . .

I don't know if that's true now.

I received a message the other day from my current stepmother, stating that my dad was admitted into the hospital. I realized that although it’s going to take a little bit to re-get to know him now, that I miss the old him. The him I used to know before . . .[my] old, distorted life and limited world views came between us.

He wasn’t the best father, but he is still my dad. And a lot of good memories get to go along with it all. Like, especially before the offensive cereal prizes in the Christmas stocking incident of ‘85. Lolol

Wondering to myself why I wasn’t hitting up the hospital or checking on visiting hours or rushing out to see if I could see him or help in anyway, like I felt I would have had it been any other member of my family, started to tug at my heart.

What if I lose my dad now? Is it going to be detrimental because of the estrangement? Or worse, is not going to feel as deep as it should when someone loses a father?

I'm pretty sure, although I didn't realize it, I was probably not going to be ok with either of these outcomes.

We are planning another picnic/reunion thing for July. I need more to be known, and that he knows . . . how I feel. Hoping for even just a little bit more than what we have now.

Time is limited, but regrets can last forever.

The feeling of being in a stuck, unable to reach position is about to become less than a comfort for a minute, I think, but at least I got to put an "I love you" in his ear through a third-party delivery. Lol

Time to start, again.

. . .

I'm the grown ass man, full of all the "I love yous”. So, the only thing left to ask myself is, “where do I go from here?”. I've talked a lot of shit about keeping the past in the past. Time to stand all the way on that now.

And, to my dad, who I don't imagine even reads my blog, I do love you. You'll always be my dad, good, bad, or indifferent.

Its also time to go pick up my oldest son who literally just reached out while I was posting this, to come spend a few days here with us. Unconditional love with boundaries sounds difficult to procure or obtain, but it’s a process that’s necessary in very specific, and genuinely needed at times. We are human first, then family.

Share, and share in, all the love and laughter that this world has to offer and stop focusing so hard on wanting to stay bitter. It doesn't look as good on you as you might think.

Until next week;

"So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes, yet we adults have them all the time! We think if we don't nip it in the bud, it will escalate and we will lose control. Let go of that unfounded fear and give your child permission to be human. We all have days like that. None of us are perfect, and we must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves. All of the punishments you could throw at them will not stamp out their humanity, for to err is human, and we all do it sometimes." - Rebecca Eanes

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0xcusesfitness · 6 years

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Why you should choose your personal trainer carefully ...

Dear Reader,

Was at the park today, and I saw a personal trainer training a couple of folks out there – a guy that I had seen last week too, I believe.

The trainer himself was one of those big, beefy sorts that looked like he spent quite a lot of time working his arms and chest – – but as is the norm with a lot of gym goers, pretty much nothing on the upper back and legs.

While he didn’t quite have the “pelican leg” syndrome, his legs were nowhere near the size or shape they should be in – and he had the hint (more, actually) of a beer belly poking out under his shirt.

All good considering he was doing a lot of things RIGHT in terms of training the guy and a young lady training with him.

For starters, there was no nonsensical gym equipment. It was bodyweight training, and although it could be done better – FAR better – for FAR better results, at least it was a start.

There was no nonsensical preening and posing either. I remember a gym I visited once in China (termed “Muscle Beach Gym”) and there was a female trainer literally “massaging” her client – – not AFTER a workout – – but while she was doing overhead presses (seated, at that) with little pink dumbells.

I got more than a few cold stares when I guffawed loudly as well as a snide “we don’t want Crossfitters here”.

And my response?

“Cross fit sucks. I can do things with my body that neither you or the vast bulk of Crossfitters can”, I said, while looking the meathead straight in the eye, and after giving me the “up and down” once, he figured “discretion was the better part of valor” in terms of this particular argument.

Hey – don’t doubt it – I’d put him on the pull-up bar with me on a jiffy and prove it too! Hehe …

But anyway, back to the trainer at the park.

Normally, this dude doesn’t have the couple do any pulling exercises whatsoever. He has them do modified burpees as well as a light jog in the park, and some light rope jumping along with a few stretches, and that’s that.

A slow ass 45 minute workout that our 0 Excuses Fitness brethren wouldn’t even break a sweat doing.

And judging by the looks of the couple, it wasn’t doing much in terms of either fat loss or increase in strength / stamina.

After the instructor (and the couple) saw me pounding out pull-ups and doing monkey bar work by their side, they decided to incorporate it too into their routine.

Gal was asked to try the monkey bar swings, and she gave up without even trying. Trainer wouldn’t even goad her into trying to do it. All he did was smile and say OK …

Guy jumps up, and furiously flails about on the bars before a) gripping it incorrectly and b) kicking so much with his legs that I was wondering if he was in an elementary TaeKWondo class or doing monkey bar work.

Probably the former in his mind!

And sad part is, the trainer himself probably had NO inkling of the fact that he was gripping it incorrectly – or that he shouldn’t be kicking around. He did mention something about his “turn not being correct”, but thats about it.

In Gorilla Grip, and Pull-ups – – from DUD to STUD within a matter of weeks – – I go into both these issues as well as more issues that personal trainers for the most part do not address, and are usually unaware of. Issues that not only hinder progress – – but also cause injuries in the shoulder area, especially when swinging oneself around.

Crowning point of all this, of course was when they got down for their burpees.

The couple barely bent their arms during the pushup, and the trainer did one ” to show them how it was done”, and that was that.

And that was that for the session. There was some discussion about fees, but that, for the most part was that.

Huh?? You call that training? I wanted to ask the couple this, but didn’t …

Aside from all the other stuff, in the 0 Excuses Fitness System I don’t just TEACH you how to do the exercises.

I don’t just tell you to “drop and give me a 100 – or 250”!

NO – I pound ’em right THERE WITH YOU – as it should be DONE!

A true personal trainer should be one that can DO the exercises with you, or at least do ’em enough to work up a good sweat with you.

A real personal trainer should motivate and inspire folks that can’t do a certain exercise to GO FOR IT – with vim, vigor and GUSTO rather than just say “OK”, and be done with it!

And of course, a real personal trainer should know what the hell they’re on about when it comes to training.

None of this, of course is anything against the trainer himself. Nicest guy possible from what I could tell, but his methods were WAY off. Maybe I’ll offer to help him out a bit the next time – or maybe not.

We’ll see – stay posted for further updates on that!

In the meantime, remember that if you’re looking for real life, no nonsense fitness coaching that WILL get you in the best shape of your life – – then apply here and we’ll have you sorted ASAP.

But remember. This is only for serious trainees who TRAIN HARD – with NO excuses brooked or tolerated.

If you’re part of the “Oh, let’s just do the easy stuff” – then this probably ain’t for you.

If you’re part of the very large majority that is satisfied with “ego boosts” as opposed to real personal training – – then this sure as heck ain’t for you.

But if you’re truly interested in getting in the best shape of your life – both mentally and physically – then guess what. I’m right here for you!

Here is that link again – http://0excusesfitness.com/coaching/

I look forward to serving you.

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

P.S. – Don’t forget to check out our products page (new and revamped) right HERE – – http://0excusesfitness.com/products/

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captain-spookycandycollecti-blog · 6 years

Text

White Lake Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54491

"White Lake Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54491

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I know the Jaguar would be more expensive but by how much?

Fast Car - With Decent MPG (cheap to insure?)?

Hey All. Looking to buy a new car: Current Car: Honda Civic Sport 1.6Li Petrol Wanting: Fast acceleration car possibly diesel turbo with good MPG if required. Distance to work travelled every day: 50 miles Open to all ideas/thoughts. I know with acceleration/speed comes price and loss of fuel mpg, but I'm sure theres a car that can be flexible under different driving conditions etc... Thanks again everyone, best answer to be choosen ASAP.""

How much is my health/car insurance going to be?

i am a 18 year old girl in california. ive never gotten a ticket or pulled over and i drive a 2010 ford fusion se(4 cyllinder) with all the safety features it offers. i dont think i have bad credit because all i have is a debit card that is attached to my parents accounts and they deposit money in it when i need it. so if i try to go over my limit it doesnt let me. we have triple a insurance and our bank is wells fargo. i dont know if having a job changes the price but ive had 2 other jobs and am currently employed in a new one. ive never been fired only laid off once because i was a seasonal worker and i quit another for not enough hours. all 3 jobs are retail jobs not making more than 9 dollars an hour. also i am a full time student with 12 units in a community college. My parents have basically perfect credit, both of them. does anyone know how much it will be for both health and car insurance if i start paying?""

Please tell me the insurance companies that would take my car insurance payments through a bank standing order

Because of my credit low rating, I have been paying regularly my creditors such as phones providers, professional bodies and charities through standing orders. But the insurance companies insisted on Direct Debt or Credit cards which I cannot use as of now. Please assist in finding any car insurance company that would take a bank standing order. Thanks.""

What kind of insurance to get?

I come from a low income family and my health insurance is called Healthy Families. Its really basic and only covers check ups, physicals, and other things in community health clinics. I have several moles I that I would like to get checked out at a dermatologist and some help with my acne as well but I hear that dermatologist visits can get expensive. What kind of insurance can I get that won't break the bank?""

Car insurance and criminal convictions?

I was recently without going into detail convicted on a public disorder charge of harresment and have just passed my test at 18 and was looking forward to getting on the road and found cheapish quotes on places like lv and aviva etc but ive just realised in the smallprint or insurance assumptions you are not aloud one criminal conviction and cant find anyone that allows them but i know plenty of people that are on the road that have criminal convictions its all a confusing issue can anyone help?

Would car insurance be expensive for a Mazda RX-8?

expensive being around sportscar/ muscle car range or like a regular cars insurance?

How long does it take for an auto insurance company to investigate and claim liability?

My daughter was in a car accident on Feb. 25. She was traveling straight in the southbound lane, when a rushing man in the northbound lane turned left in front of her. The driver admitted that he was upset because he had been following a school bus for the last 20 minutes and his friend, whom he was trying to pick up, was late for work. He stated that when he saw the driveway that he cut from behind the bus to turn in then realized from the skidding that he turned in front of a car. His insurance company is still investigating and waiting for pics of the scene and his friends statement. I was told by his insurance company (USAA) that witnesses not listed on the police report could not be used, but his friend is not on the police report and they are waiting for her statement. NC State Highway Patrol responded to the scene and the driver was cited for failure to yield the right of way. The driver was apologetic and admitted several times around a number of people that he must have blanked out or was daydreaming from the frustration of the school bus. USAA is saying that they need to make sure that my daughter was not 1% at fault, meaning speeding perhaps. The officer estimated her speed at impact at around 40 mph and the speed limit is 55mph. She hit the drivers back tire of his Jeep Wrangler (small truck) causing him to rest in a small trench or ditch ion the side of the attempted driveway. The front passenger side above the front tire and the front by the headlight is damaged on her car. She tried to avoid him, protect her younger sister (13) and avoid veering to much left in fear of hitting the school bus. My girls were terrified when I arrived 15 minutes after the accident. USAA stated that she may have had time to instanly stop, but she tried everything that she could do. In my opinion, she should have never been put into that situation. USAA is saying that points of contact are off, but my insurance agent said that she hit the back tire because a Jeep Wrangler is only 5 ft long and he was not towing a boat or driving a common sized vehicle. Plus the driver admitted to pushing down on the accelerator when he realized what was happening. I just need to have someones advice on this matter before hiring a lawyer. Thank you.""

How much is it for car insurance for a 16 yrs old in long island ny?

i am gonna be driving a ford station wagon 1989 escort

Can I drive my parents car without insurance?

Can I drive my parents car without insurance, the car is insured under my parents name, ( we live at the same address) and also can I drive someone elses car without insurance with his or her permission""

Do I HAVE to have car insurance in order to drive?

So I just got my license a few days ago, and I'm confused with the whole insurance thing... I am not getting my own car until I graduate high school, which won't be for like a year ish. So do I need insurance in order to drive my parents car OCCASIONALLY? Both my parents have car insurance. So pretty much, it would have been better to just have my permit where I don't need car insurance, instead of getting my license and being forced to get car insurance even if I'm going to be driving RARELY? Whereas with my permit, I could drive within hours with an adult for as long as I want without needing car insurance.........""

Is insurance expensive for a 17 year old Riding a 125 ped?

i live in bromley south east london/ kent i have recently bought a Gilera Runner VXR 180 Reg as 125, im using it for college and seeing family, i have completed my C.B.T Bike is road ready MOT&Tax could anyone give me a guestimate on how much it would be on your previous experience and any good companies that insure young drivers ? thanks alot (P.S if you would like too right a smart ar*e comment please dont do it on my post, im asking for advice not a lecture)""

What is car insurance quotes online policy ?

what is car insurance quotes online policy ?

""What is the best and cheapest car insurance for a 20yr, female living in Michigan?""

My dad is making me pay my car insurance and i dont kow where to start. I heard about something called PLPD, what is that and is it expensive? what are some other cheap places for car insurance in Michigan. Thanks!!""

Where did health insurance companies learn the word affordable? ?

I mean seriously, I check all over and the cheapest I can find with a joke of a copay is $130.00. I, like many other people, live paycheck to paycheck with generally less than a dollar at the time of receiving my next check. It is just ridiculous. And before I get any answers about how wonderful Obamacare will be: no, that's as useful as getting a credit card to pay off a mortgage. Besides, if was for the good of the people, why are we to be FORCED into it instead of deciding for ourselves?""

Where can I get non-owners insurance in New Jersey?

I dont own a car, but I rent about once a week, and would rather not have to take out liability insurance each time.""

""Will the health insurance companies that we have continue to raise their prices 200-2,000/year? How can-?

businesses pay for this except to basically drop coverage or take it all out of your salary and raises? Our raises are already frozen at 2% due to the economy.

Why are people comparing mandated health insurance to car insurance?

You are not forced to buy car insurance if you don't have a car. You have the right to not own a car. So why can't we have the right to not have health insurance??

Car insurance under my parents name w/o parents being present?

Hi, i live in Miami and my parents are currently out of state. I just bought a car and i need insurance in order to get the title. I was wondering if i can go under my parents insurance without them being present or if i can do it over the phone? also the car is a honda civic ex 99 and i am 19 years old. Its my first car and i have good credit, i am a university student with very good grades, and have not had any tickets or gotten into any car accidents. About how much will my insurance be? and would it be cheaper to be under my parents name, which i might add has been in a lot of car crashes, had a lot of tickets, bad credit, and jus has bad history, or would it be cheaper to just get it on my own??? thank you!!!!!""

Can I get separate 6 month car insurance for 2 vehicles?

I live in Vermont want to drive ONLY my Kia Spectra May-October, and ONLY my Ford F150 from November-April. I want to save money by having an insurance policy that covers each car for these 6 month intervals vs. insuring both year-round. Do car insurance companies typically offer this kind of coverage? I would ask around, but the insurance companies are so aggressive I can NEVER call for a simple quote or answer without extreme sales pressure.""

Term Life Insurances-Nicotine and insurance testing?

I am about to take a blood test for a term life insurance policy. I smoked a cigar about 10 days ago, and about 4 dips of snuff per week (for the past several months). Do they test for nicotine or some other chemical in tobacco to verify if I am a smoker or not? A friend of mine tested positive for smoking and he had smoked a cigar about two months previous...can they test that far back on a blood test??? Thanks""

White Lake Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54491

What is the average cost of life insurance?

I know individual circumstances apply, but there must be an average monthly cost somewhere. 33 years old, Looking for term life insurance, 500K I was just given a monthly quote for $28 per month""

How does coordination of benefits work with health insurance?

My primary insurance is through my employer, my husband also carries on his employers insurance (United Healthcare). How would my claims be processed under the two insurance plans? Would his insurance pick up where my primary insurance left off?""

Whats the cheapest auto insurance for someone in Texas?

What do i put for date of license on Geico insurance quote?

I was filling out an online insurance quote from Geico. When they ask for date first licensed do they mean your lerner's permit or your regular license?

I have moved back to the UK after living in Italy for 30 years. Why are my car insurance quotes so high?

I passed my driving test in 1979 and received a full UK licence. After moving to Italy I had to convert to an Italian licence as I was resident there. I moved back to the UK in August, converted my licence back to a full UK and have been trying to find insurance at a reasonable price. My problem seems to be that I appear as having passed my test in August 2012 and my no claims bonus from Italy is not valid for UK insurers. First of all is this possible and do you think there's some way my driving experience and clean licence and insurance in Italy can be brought into play as I negotiate a new policy here? Thank you in advance for any advice. DI""

Where can I get cheap car insurance for a 17 year old?

I need car insurance preferably under 3000, I can be a named driver on my dads insurance (he's been driving over 25 years and has 5 years no claims bonus). I have tried comparison websites and even for a 1L 1998 Vauxhall Corsa, they are quoting around 7,000 - it's daylight robbery!!! Where can I get cheap(ish) insurance from? What type of cars are best (eg new/old, engine size etc)? Thanks.""

Why is unemployment insurance so cheap and health insurance so expensive?

The government deducts my unemployment insurance but I have to pay health insurance out of earnings? Seems like the government takes less. Conservatives hate low prices only profits. We need to take health care out like unemployment.

I recently moved to Brooklyn and I need to find affordable auto insurance for my car. Any suggestions?

I know car insurance in NY is expensive in general, but any suggestions would help!""

Where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for young drivers?

Is there any insurance policy for critical illness ?

Is there any insurance policy for critical illness ? I mean if someone is suffering from any critical disease for long time.

How much do you pay for insurance?

i have a school project :/ and am supposed to act like i am buying a smart car for $14000 but how much insurace am i supposed to bay monthly?

Social insurance number?

i'm living in alberta and have my social insurance number but i'm moving to saskatchewan, is there a form i need to fill out online or do i have to go to the provincial building?""

What are the local home insurance rates for London?

I am trying to do a project for a public health class and I was wondering what the home insurance rates for someone owning a home in London? It would be awesome if you knew about how much it cost around the Tower Hamlets area. Also, if you do know about what percentage of people have home insurance in London, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!""

Car insurance for 17 year old HELP please!!?

Hi, I'm looking to take car insurance out for a 1.0L Vauxhall Corsa Ecoflex 2006 or a 1.2L Ford KA 2009.I will be the policy holder and the main driver, however my parents will be a named driver.Car won't be driven more than 3000 miles a year and quotes are coming up at 2800++! I have heard some people are able to get it in the 1000s, but how is this possible? I have tried some many providers and I think I'm running out of luck. Plus these are the cheapest cars to insure too! I'm in the West Midlands to, if location has anything to do with it Any suitable answers will be greatly appreciated, thanks""

""I have Mercury Car Insurance, what should I watch out for?

I recently opened up a policy with Mercury car insurance because they gave me the best quote. A month later my roomate was doing research and found a large amount of people giving bad reviews of Mercury car insurance. Since I don't know anyone who has Mercury car insurance I was hoping someone out there could give me some good feedback as to whether or not they are worth renewing in 5 months.

""How much, on average, does it cost to add an umbrella policy to your homeowners insurance? i'm just looking

for a starting point. a general ballpark figure or range for how much this type of additional insurance costs. thanks in advance for any help.

Help with car insurance........................

i am 16 but when i turn 17 i want to pass my driving tests. my worry is car insurance. i want to buy a little car like Peugeot 206 1.4 or something similar but i have checked insurance companies and their quotes are ridiculous so my dad said that if i give him the money to buy the car he can then insure it on his insurance and add me as an additional driver so i can sometimes drive it to my mates or whatever. i have heard of something called fronting and i was just wondering if then we would be doing that or would everything be legal. thanks in advance Matt

Health Insurance- Test Result Privacy?

I am curious as to how much information my insurance company (through an employer) has access to. For example, can they view the results of my blood tests done via Labcorp/Quest if they payed for them? Also, what about a test such as an EMG and Nerve Conduction study. Do they receive a copy of the final report? I know a copy is sent to my physician and that I personally have the right to a copy. But are results also sent to my insurance company? For what it's worth I have BCBS. Any input would be greatly appreciated.""

How much does horse insurance cost?

How much would it cost to insure a 14 year old gelding quarter horse? He is 1,200 pounds and does jumping and dressage. I need to know this ASAP!!!""

Is insurance more expensive for a 07 civic si sedan or an 07 civic ex coupe?

Full cover insurance,I live in california, im 18, no tickets, no accidents. I know insurance is higher for 2 door cars but the civic si Is faster and more expensive.""

Security Guarding Company insurance?

Can somebody tell me how much the average insurance would be for a security guarding company?

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone have any idea on the cost on motorcylce insurance.. I'm 26 clean record..Thinking about getting a new yamaha cruiser 600-700cc

Babies insurance please answer?

I have medicare (pregnancy) and I was wondering how does it cover the baby when he is born and what do I do to get his insurance and all that? Thank you.

Arizona Law on insurance pulling your driver record ?

does anyone how long (in term of years) can an insurance company pull your driver record? i know here in Arizona i can pull my record from servicearizona.com for 39month. but some people tell me they can pull up to 5 years from your record.

Who provides the best Renter's Insurance in California??? What is Renter's Insurance Anyway?

Hello... I am new to renter's insurance. Does anybody know a good website that I can do research??? Generally what does renter's insurance cover??? Thank you for your answers!!!

White Lake Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54491

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/state-farm-car-insurance-quote-hawaii-alexander-collins/"

0 notes

cosmosogler · 6 years

Text

hello. yesterday sucked.

i don’t even remember yesterday that well. i ended up hanging out with keegan and harrison for like an hour and a half, between 5:30 and 7, right before we proctored... we were swapping goofy youtube videos. at the end of my video my youtube recommendations popped up and i was like “NOOOOOOOOOOO” and tried to cover up my screen while having a panic attack, because i’m really cool.

i listen to video game soundtracks. i do not really want them knowing which video games i like. even though portal 2 is objectively the best game ever i just feel like... it’s hard to share fan made content with other people.

like when i mentioned i read fan fiction everyone got all weird about it like i was reading hardcore porn or something. i don’t like that feeling. that like... misunderstanding of what my interest is. then i end up rambling for two hours to explain my love for this piece of media and i bore the other person and then we’re back at square one.

but if i join, like, a fandom, i’ll be expected to only talk about that one thing. but i like lots of things!!! i dunno. let me listen to the blue sky “podcast” in peace.

i’ve never talked about that book with ANYONE, except to mention that it’s really good. and it is a novel. it takes that long to read.

anyway proctoring was boring so i spent some time counting all the left-handed students in the lecture hall, and then i played pokemon go, and then i wandered around staring intimidatingly at people. i am not intimidating at all, i wear a bow in my hair. but they looked at me like i was either gonna rip their heads off, or stark naked, and i’m not sure which.

also the stapler was loud as a gunshot and i flinched every time i had to staple someone’s exam together, which was 115 times.

i talked to the professor i was teamed up with though and we just talked about, like, moving to a new place and getting established i guess? i don’t know about you guys but i unironically like talking about the weather. leave me alone.

i actually can’t tell if i want to be alone or not. i feel sick like i want to be alone. but i also desperately want to talk about this stuff i like. i talked to keegan about competitive pokemon for 20 minutes and let him see my collection. well, “see,” because he is basically blind and didn’t even realize my ds had a top screen. he asked how many of my 270 pokemon are hacked and i said like 8. and that’s... true. in the ballpark of ten, i think.

he stopped playing after diamond and pearl so i had to explain hidden abilities and triple battles. i miss triple battles.

oh right, yesterday i had group therapy. i got some advice. i think i will try to implement it soon. basically the idea is to carry a notebook or a phone memo with you and to periodically question yourself and write down everything you are feeling. it might help me narrow down my emotions to more than “angry” or “confused.” and she said it helps you get to know yourself better too.

hey today i woke up on time again. i think snoopy had been laying on my feet because they were extremely warm when i woke up. i didn’t get enough sleep at all. i finished getting ready early so of course that means i got distracted and left for class a little late.

but i biked turbo fast i guess because i got to class right on time and started teaching right away. i think it went ok. i was completely exhausted about 3/4 of the way through my second lab though so the last half hour was a real struggle to help everyone finish. i don’t know why my last section has so much trouble finishing on time. it cuts into my lunch break before my meetings with danielle at the drc. or whatever other appointment i have to attend to that day. last week i didn’t even get a lunch break, i had to eat at the seminar thing, i mentioned.

but it’s my middle section, which i feel i teach the best, that’s been getting consistently the lowest grades out of my sections. so i dunno. i use the same rubric for all three.

so i forced down some lunch and graded for 45 minutes (skipped coffee cookie time on accident, i didn’t really feel like dealing with sam today anyway, maybe next week). and then i went to the drc. we arranged for my course to get dropped and i contacted financial aid about the change to my minimum full time credit hours. i haven’t heard back from them yet, but the minute i do i’m going to set up an appointment with my graduate advisor to get that settled. in the meantime danielle told me not to waste my time going to class and to worry about the long term stuff.

maybe since everyone is here all year round i can cajole one of the professors into leading an “independent study” where i can try to keep up with my e&m credit.

we finished that up in about 25 minutes so danielle spent a while asking about my emotions. i think they were good questions because for once i had answers i could put into words, sort of. she pointed out that i laugh when i mention something painful to me. i said i get that a lot. it’s... easier than acknowledging that it hurts. ESPECIALLY in front of other people. crying is awkward and makes people uncomfortable.

we went a little bit into, like, the reasoning behind my trust issues and how it affects me now. it really was painful giving a list of the people that have majorly wronged me. and now how i don’t tell people when i’m sad or angry with them because that might make them angry and why should i be angry if i don’t want to be around angry people. and i know that when people are angry with you it’s scary and i don’t want to spook the people i care about. and like, i don’t like people being angry around me, because even if they’re not angry at me specifically they will take it out on me. it’s not safe.

“wronged” as in, like, how jim ghosted on me. or the year craig spent telling me i was “too much” or taking my words out of context and making me look like a real monster to my friends.

she asked why i haven’t told sam directly to cut out the “cute” thing yet since it’s really rustling my jimmies. she said it was really disrespectful and i dunno it felt nice to hear someone else agreeing with me. well, it’s more like, she asked why i haven’t told sam how her words make me feel. i said it’s because it ain’t her business. danielle said that was fair enough.

telling people how their words make you feel is kind of, making yourself vulnerable to a person who literally just hurt you. hey, glad you’ve found my buttons! let me just make myself more vulnerable there for you. is that an easier target now? glad to help. let me know if there’s anything else i can do to make it easier for you to hurt my feelings.

i also mentioned the guy in the discord several weeks ago who went off on me for complaining about past romantic partners, because how *dare* i feel sad for being assaulted, because *he* can’t even get one date! i should be GRATEFUL for the attention!

involving a lot more curse words and insults to my mental faculties and character, of course.

man, i kinda hate having to add that tw tag to my posts because i mentioned something that happened to me. it does affect me though. and it’s better to warn people what they’re getting into. even if i just mention it once.

i felt a little bummed, but also, a little more on both feet mentally/emotionally after i left. i filled out my medical drop form and sent it to danielle to review. then i dicked around on the internet for like an hour while harrison came and sat in the office and dicked around on his phone. we didn’t really talk but we did throw candy at each other for a few minutes.

it’s so hard to show people the stuff i love. i mention it sometimes and if they don’t, like, immediately show interest i drop it forever. oz has been kind about the stuff i recommend. i’m trying to figure out which movie i want to watch with him over my thanksgiving break. i know it’s just an hour and a half or two hours, but it still feels like a huge energy investment.

one time i linked him a music video and he said it was “beautiful” and i was like, “I KNOW RIGHT???”

i’ve remembered that moment for a long time. that was many years ago.

i graded until after 8 and finished one more section. two more to go before i am officially in the clear. then i will only be 2 weeks behind! for those 3 sections each!!! i also uploaded the grades to keep my supervisor posted on my progress a little better, and adjusted some formatting preferences on the excel file to make it easier for me to find stuff right away.

i think my grade averages are maybe the lowest out of my friend group. i’m so concerned about doing right by my students and then i end up being kind of a hardass when it comes to actually taking off points haha... it’ll get curved back up at the end so i’m not too worried. i just feel bad that my students have to look at their 12/20 because i know how demoralizing that is. i think i will send out an email later and offer some resources if i can find any.

the problem is that i had 4 or 5 curve breakers so i couldn’t just scale up everyone’s scores at the end.

anyway once i got home i made a microwave meal because it was like 8:50 and i just wanted food. i did all my dishes and hid some cookies for snoopy and cleaned her litter genie thing since it, uh, malfunctioned the other day and i just didn’t have time to fix it until tonight. and i swept the bathroom afterward so that looks better and doesn’t smell like cat pee.

ok it is six minutes after my “stop writing” time. i would like to get enough sleep tonight for once. i just have a lot on my mind and not much desire to deal with my dreams.

i saw my friends again. i was just watchin em, i couldn’t really interact with the dream at all. they were trying to figure out some deja vu feelings. i couldn’t say anything to them that might help clear it up though. unable to get the message across.

i think keegan asked what kinds of dreams i have that i don’t like sleeping very much. oh i mentioned i don’t like naps because i get horrible nightmares. he asked how i ever sleep then and i said i guess eight hours is long enough for the dreams to calm down. THEN he asked what kinds of dreams i have. i said i dream about my eyes rotting out, or the skin coming off my hands, or blood and gunk just coming out of my mouth in a constant stream. he and harrison said please stop.

i am not sure how to bring up dream friends with them. i mentioned it to suzanne one time on the way to spaghetti day when we were swapping dream concepts. and i am not sure if they are even interesting enough to bring up. i’m not sure what to make of them at all. i guess it makes being awake feel less real. because i’ve met all these people in my dreams and i don’t always remember what i say to them but they feel real to me.

you know, i did bring them up a little bit. i mentioned that i meet a lot of people in my dreams and that most of them are dead now. that prompted a joke about how we are all dead to keegan until he sees us again in the morning. it was funny and it made me feel a little better, but with most of them like, i watched them die. it’s not a matter of “haven’t been in touch.”

i just don’t know how to describe how i feel about the dream guys. it feels dumb to care about something like that when they’re not even real, they’re people i made up in my head. like it’s almost egotistical to pay attention to them or be concerned for their safety. i guess it depends on how you interpret dreams. collective consciousness? random nonsense? processing our day by making random associations? who knows. maybe a little of all of them.

maybe it’s easier for my brain to handle being concerned about people i made up and put into danger myself than it is for my brain to be concerned about me and the problems i make in my own head.

i was talking to keegan and jennica and harrison at our meeting before the proctoring started. we were talking about how we have all adopted keegan’s “that’s no good” whenever we see something we don’t like. harrison joked that that’s how he would introduce keegan to a stranger. then he said he would introduce me to a stranger by saying something like “this is sammie. she’s depressed.”

i guess i felt kinda bad. i said “wow, good to know that depression is my defining character trait. it’s the one thing about me everyone notices!”

maybe the others felt bad too because i don’t think we talked about that much more. it’s hard to remember.

i still say things nic used to say in high school when we dated. like “wow! WOW! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW” is a good one. i think “smooth like sandpaper” is a phrase he picked up from me but we both said it a lot.

people stay with me. even when i don’t want them to. i still make jokes that shade toward stuff craig used to say. i still make jokes that jim really liked. when i caught myself using that old stupid punch line i had to stop and feel kinda sick for a few minutes actually.

i wonder if that’s all that people pick up from me? “this is sammie. she has depression.” i say things that i think are hilarious all the time but i don’t know if other people pick it up. i have like fifteen different words for “angry.” maybe my speech pattern is just odd enough that people don’t really copy me.

i’ve never really talked like a normal person. most of my vocabulary comes from reading. books, internet message boards, video games, international students in high school. i still mispronounce words and i have so much trouble with names that i, like, try to avoid referring to people by name at this point.

danielle said i should try to make myself more vulnerable to my friends. so maybe they can understand me better. and maybe i will understand them better.

but i tried that already. it didn’t work. i’m not stupid. i’m not gonna try something a million times if i know it’s not gonna work.

just kidding, i’m still studying physics. of course i’m gonna beat my head against a wall until either the wall or my head breaks!!!

danielle said she admired how strong i am for continuing to get up and work hard every day. she asked how i was feeling. i said “not very strong.”

it doesn’t feel like strength. it just feels like. boredom. maybe. i don’t know what else to do and i get restless. may as well do stuff.

#tw assault

0 notes

fierceandunordinarydiva · 7 years

Text

“It’s not right But it’s okay I’m gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you Leave your key I’d rather be alone than unhappy” – Whitney Houston One of my favorite things to see, is women celebrating the successes of other women. It’s actually brought me to tears when I have seen it happen in front of me. When my daughter was about 17 or 18, I sat in on a parent watch day at her ballet school. As the girls waited their turns to watch each other fly and twirl across the room, snaps and a few claps rung out when someone did well, but mostly there were standard and even as a courtesy, clearly a guarded but kind support of each other. It’s a competitive industry, I get that. There was however ONE girl, a lovely, beautiful strong dancer, who seemed to have a secure sense of self as she stood there. And as my daughter flew across the room and nailed a triple pirouette and the courtesy snaps began, this girl bursted with praise, saying her name and acting like a proud big sister and said “That was amazing, you are beautiful, so proud of you!” I was watching and I started to cry. WHY did I cry!? OF COURSE it was because it was sweet, and I was a proud mom, but part of the reason it touched me, was because between women, THIS IS RARE. Apathy to veil competition is more more prevalent on the daily or worse, shaming and bullying. WHY is it so hard for us to celebrate and cherish each other?

The term “Slut-shaming” is broad, but it’s what I want to discuss or attempt to. A large portion of society thinks it is reserved for a specific group of women making certain choices. I actually see the term covering a bigger range of people. Young girls, teens, young women, middle aged women as well as older women. It affects us all. Over the years, I have been a part of and witnessed women shaming other women, across all parts of life and spectrums. I want to dig into to where it starts, and try to pose some questions that will spark discussions, so each of us can try to figure it out for ourselves.

The Younger Years

I feel as though female shaming for lots of us in the 30 or older generations, started in the home. It was part of the baby boomer generation of our parents. The modest era. It was textbook. Men can express their sexual freedom and physical security, and not be shamed; women cannot for fear of being shamed and called a whore or a slut. Growing up I heard things like,

“You can’t watch that, it’s too risqué” “No makeup until you are older, or you will look like a hooker” “You cannot leave the house like that” “If you wear that skirt you are asking boys to see you as a sex machine” “You should probably cover up, you don’t want guys to get the wrong idea”

What is the “wrong idea”? I have always been confused as to why my choices in attire should somehow also include the sensitivity to the men or boys around me that weren’t able to control themselves. Their issues somehow overrode any feelings I had of pride in my body or excitement about slaying an outfit I was wearing. Instilling a fear that I may be mistreated, harassed or raped because of my clothing, putting the accountability not on the other person, but rather on the girls with their choices in clothing. Parents, what message are we giving to our girls, when we say these things?

I do believe that the parents of my generation and beyond, are working to change these behaviors, but it’s a SLOW process. There are a few factors that contribute to the speed of this changing – mainly because the generations before that were RAISED this way, are now running our country and mostly white, misogynistic men in power. They are making and enforcing rules in offices and schools, they are bribing and paying off sexual abuse incidents so they will go away, they are making laws about our bodies and taking our rights away. That in itself is harmful to any parent or child trying to change the path of their body consciousness and self-worth.

The Teen Years

Middle school and high school are some of the hardest years EMOTIONALLY for everyone. Your hormones are raging, you are trying to fit in, you are clashing with your parents or guardians, life is a hot mess and then add pimples and braces and good lord, I never want to go back to that time ever.

“I’m bossy/ I’m the first girl to scream on a track/ I switched up the beat of the drum” — Kelis

I experienced a lot of shaming from girls in school. At the time I saw it as cruel and mean. I look back now as a mother and an adult, and see it as sad and systematic. We all lashed out because of insecurity and inadequacy issues. We took the shaming most of us had in our homes, and when faced with the ultimate vulnerable situation aka High School, we came armed with weapons. What better than to harm others with than what harmed you – surely those will work! Every girl in high school is struggling with so many things, and for some reason, the females around them are the only ones they find safe to lash out at. The boys around them are comparing them to other girls or worse photoshopped ones in magazines and movies. Young girls see that and we immediately let it affect our self-worth, let it define us. And all at once the battle for unattainable perfection begins, and the meter to measure our progress is set by the women and girls that surround us.

“To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.” – Brene Brown

Right now, mainly girls, in public schools all over the country, are being sent home because of what they are wearing. Sleeveless shirts, skirts too short (but not cheerleaders cause you know, that’s ok…) ripped jeans, the list goes on. The main reason the administration says is because “Wearing those things is DISTRACTING to others in class”. On the evening news here recently, there was a local high school, reporting that students were being sent home for ripped jeans. The group asked to go home was outside of the school with the news reporters. The reporter asked one of the girls outside the building, why they were being sent home. This young girl had a brilliant and calm reply: “They say our jeans are distracting, so they are taking us out of class when in reality, what is really distracting is taking us out of class and not letting us learn.” She is my new favorite human – her parents should be proud.

Young Women – we are adults, KIND OF

Finally we are out of that competitive horrible judgemental place and we can get on with our lives, AMIRITE!? Oh wait. The real world is just as bad…there is just sugar put on things to make them seemingly easier to handle or ingest.

Now we have to deal with shaming in the workplace or in college life. With pressure of what we wear or what we don’t wear. Social media adding an ENTIRE new cog in that wheel, so things like adult videos and nude photography – will also come into play. In preparation for this post, I made a call out to hear other women’s stories. I got a few public replies but it was the several private ones that were shocking. There were women being asked to wear certain types of shirts and bras in their office, as to not be distracting to the men on staff. This HAS to be illegal. But of course no one does anything. It’s seen as okay in schools and places of business because it is shelved under “employee rules” or “Codes of Conduct”. There was a young woman who was a nanny and wore a hip cute bikini to the YMCA and was told by staff they were getting comments from other mothers and that she had to cover up if she came back. How humiliating! There was a woman who was told if she wore white, and her bra was visible, she must wear a tanktop underneath, as to not tempt. These stories were infuriating to me. How on earth is this still happening and being excused? How about you not hire humans that can’t be adults and control themselves. On that note, let’s touch on how it makes us feel, when a young adult woman makes the choice to be a stripper, escort or prostitute.

Treat ’em like a prostitute (Do What?) Don’t treat no girlie well until you’re sure of the scoop – Slick Rick

Several months ago, I had a conversation with a friend of my daughters via Facebook. She made a post about the slut shaming and revenge porn backlash about social media celebrity Blac Chyna. It was over a dirty break-up and her ex decided to shame her revengefully by sharing private nude photos of her, and a private intimate video of them – putting it into the world for all to see without her permission or knowledge. This young girl said in her FB post something to the effect of (she has since deleted the post or I would quote it) “Don’t know why Chyna is so mad at those nude pics being leaked, she’s is a stripper, she does it anyways. You act cheap you get treated cheap”. I decided it was important that I start a dialogue with her publically about this. Ok I am not being honest, I was mad �� and I LAID into her. Spouting so many details and points, I am sure her head spun. Her response was “She is a ho, so that’s why she is being treated that way. She needs to respect herself so others will respect her”.

It felt fundamentally wrong to hear that statement come out of a woman’s mouth. There is a GIGANTIC difference between being confident in your body, and choosing to do a job that gives you control over that body – and another human, male or female, taking that power away from you in order to harm or shame you. This young girl isn’t alone, I see different versions of this ALL OVER the media and around me. How often as a woman have you heard or even said these statements (don’t worry, I am guilty of some, too):

“She needs to put some clothes on, no one wants to see all that”

“Did she paint those jeans on?”

“People with asses like that should not wear pants like that”

“She really should get her money back for purchasing so little fabric”

“What is she even wearing!?”

“How did her friends let her wear that?”

Ladies. We have to do better.

ADULT WOMEN – Now we are MOTHERS, raising NEW WOMEN!

So we take what we learn, unlearn ourselves and are determined to raise a more independent, more confident and more secure woman in our own daughters, RIGHT? Wrong. You know that old adage “We grow up to become our mothers”? Well, it drives me crazy, as I have worked my ass off to be the exact opposite of my mother and how I was raised. However it still happens. The insecurities and prudish ways of my mother peeked through out of sheer fear of putting my sweet daughter into the rough misogynistic world! It was about me doing what those girls in high school resorted to. I was worried that she would be hurt, judged and shamed, so I took every measure to make sure it didn’t happen. When Madison was 11 she wanted to wear makeup. I was horrified. She already had girls at school teasing her. WHAT is she thinking, that would surely make it worse!

It was then that my husband gave me that cabin pressure/airplane landing moment, he said “You are doing exactly what your mom did to you when you act like this. And you grew up, had issues with friends and with your body because of it. How about you do the opposite. Let her explore. Let her find herself and feel beautiful in her way. Let her find her own way and support her regardless.” And with his help and reminders, that’s what I did. And it WORKED.

I recently witnessed an exchange on professional ballerina Michaela DePrince’s instagram when she posted a photo where she was partially topless. There was a comment from a Dance Mom – whose young daughter is a fan of DePrince. It was a shaming comment to make her feel badly about posting a photo that was partially topless and she told her to have more “self respect” and that it made her not want her daughter to see it. DePrince’s response was so lovely and strong. It was exactly how I hope this next generation of women would respond to shaming by another female, or anyone for that matter. But alas I know that sadly, Michaela’s reply isn’t the norm, YET.

Why do we as parents automatically shame the female when we feel that something is different, too expressive or god forbid, scandalous? We need to challenge ourselves and each other to take a step back, to not react impulsively, to resist the urge to immediately degrade the choices of females. I am so concerned as to why our first instinct isn’t praise, support and love and I am convinced that we need to start training our minds to start making that change.

Doesn’t it seem like since day one for each of us, we have been competing for the same thing? The approval and appreciation of what society thinks the perfect woman is. Goals of having the words “Perfect” and “full package” being used to describe us. Some of us even find men that says things like “Arm candy” and “Dime piece” or even “Prize” to make us feel worthy and loved.

My fear is that this typical woman, who needs this approval, grows up to excuse an abuser. She is a victim of sexual assault, or even worse. I grew up with some many instances that were discussed here, and I KNEW it wasn’t right, but it was ok and excused by everyone around me, so after awhile, it became acceptable. This week in the news, Hollywood mega mogul and producer Harvey Weinstein was accused of sexual assault by numerous actresses. Tons of fellow actors coming to the support of their fellow actresses on social media. Then yesterday, designer Donna Karan of DKNY was quoted at a fashion event when asked about it and came out to defend Weinstein and blame the victims. “You look at everything all over the world today and how women are dressing and what they are asking by just presenting themselves the way they do. What are they asking for? Trouble.” This is a woman who designs sexy women’s clothing. I spat at the TV. I also have a DKNY bedspread now up for grabs if anyone wants it.

THIS is what this entire post is about. THIS is where our problem is. Are we giving the next generation of women the tools to combat this type of rape culture blaming? Do all women know their value and worth – are we able to bind together to be a united front when the victim shaming and rape culture blame comes at them full force? I know that the young women of my generation were not able to do that.

I am however hopeful of this next one, because now we are seeing small light coming through the cracks in the once broken spirit of women, a confidence in the new generation of females. Young women that are fierce, that are proud of their bodies, that are not afraid to stand up to a man or an organization to protect their rights. Women that don’t ask how they look in their dresses or if their ass looks big, but instead they own the dress and the ass and give zero fucks what people think of them in it.

Hopefully these young, powerful and body-conscious females can use that security and tenacity to bind together and bond with the women around them. We can show solidarity, love and support rather than apathy, competition and cruelty. To realize that celebrating our female coworkers, peers, friends or even family members, doesn’t mean we are any less fierce ourselves. Celebrating and cherishing the women around us will just create a more powerful sense of self, and a camaraderie that cannot be bought or faked, and will give us a shield and superpower to properly deflect the misogyny in everyday life. It will create a new normal filled with the Alpha Female – taking our rightful place equally among the men in our society and lives.

It’s Not Right, But its Ok… "It's not right But it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you…

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