Across the Way
Chapter 4: New and Old Problems Alike
Retired!Ghoap x Fem!Fat!Reader
Ao3 | Previous - Next | Masterlist
MDNI | cw: fainting, some medical inaccuracies
Word Count: 5.8k
Summary: You go to Scotland with high hopes for your future. After all, you have the bakery you always dreamed of and a whole new life to live. Plus, the men who own the butcher’s shop across the street seem nice.
You haven’t texted them, even three days later. That little sticky note haunts the surface of your kitchen counter. It taunts you - tells you that you should text them and at least give them your number. That you’re being a terrible neighbor. They might need you too, after all. Even though you can’t figure out why they might for the life of you. On the other hand, you can’t help but feel wary about it. Men don’t take an interest in you - people in general rarely take interest. It’s hard not to feel suspicious, as pure as you’re sure their intentions probably are.
More so than any of that, you don’t know what to say. If it had been day one you could have just put your name, but now you feel like you need to explain. Or at least be funny or something. Tossing and turning on your designated rest day about what the hell you should do.
You’re overthinking it. You know that. You can’t stop, either.
They just seem so cool - so put together. So unlike you. You want to impress them. You don’t want to ruin the first possibility of friends in this new life you’re building for yourself.
Eventually you work up the courage to send off an initial text to each of them. Just to give them your name to save if they so choose - plus an extra thank you to Simon for giving you their numbers in the first place. Something simple and borderline cold. Too cold, maybe? Maybe you sound irritated. You hope not. You just want them to like you. Friends in new places are hard and to have someone around you who gets how it feels to need accommodations would just feel so… lovely. Your phone may or may not go flying onto your bed while you bury your face in your hands out of sheer nervousness.
You don’t expect it to chime about a minute later. Right as you’re staring to calm down, of course. It sends your heart violently pounding all over again.
J >> Bonnie lass!
J >> So glad u texted!!
>> Sorry it took so long lol
Oh, you could just slap yourself. You don’t have anything better than that? At all? Christ.
J >> Nah Nah
J >> No worries
J >> Actually I was wondering if u would mind if I came by tomorrow
J >> Just to chat
J >> need an excuse to get out of the house
“How the hell does he type that fast?” You scoff to yourself.
>> Yeah, come by anytime.
>> totally
>> yea sounds cool
>> rad, man
A message from Simon pops up mid your internal battle with how to respond, replying with a simple thumbs up. Very in character, you think. He knows how to be nonchalant. What would Simon say? Something casual, maybe a little formal.
>> If you like. You’re always welcome.
Okay maybe that was too much like Simon. You sigh heavily m before adding,
>> I’m trying out a new blueberry loaf
>> If you want to test for me :)
Better. That’s a little better. With another heavy sigh you decide to drop your phone into your nightstand for the rest of the day. Your heart really cannot handle this much emotional pressure.
~~~
You sort of end up just forgetting about the texts. With your phone out of sight and out of mind upstairs in your apartment it almost catches you off guard when Johnny comes striding through the door just before close. He’s dressed more casually than the last couple of times you saw him - having broken out the summer shorts and a graphic tee for some band you don’t recognize. It suits him, though.
“Hey, bon.” He grins.
“Hey.” You smile back, finishing with putting up your stocking baskets before dusting off your hands and turning around. “Simon closing up?”
“Aye.”
You hum. “Come on back, I’ll get you a slice of that loaf I mentioned.”
Johnny follows you quietly. Uncharacteristically quietly. That’s okay - you don’t have a problem with hanging out in silence. It doesn’t feel tense, surprisingly enough. He leaves Riley out front again. Should you get her a dog bed? Maybe if he comes by consistently. That would be nice. Maybe that’s wishful thinking.
“It’s sort of a pound cake but fluffier. I might make an icing for it but I don’t know if that would be too sweet…” You trail off, focusing on plating up the piece. You’re not sure what compels you to try and make it pretty for him. Probably something you could blame on your grandmother. She did have an obsession with presentation.
Johnny hums loudly after taking a bite, talking around the mouthful. “Y’should totally make an icing.” He swallows roughly. “Si would go crazy fer this.”
“Oh?” You smile. “I’ll send some home with you.”
There’s a lapse of silence while Johnny chews on his slice of bread and you pack up some in a paper bag for him to take home. The only sounds in the room comprised of your cutting and folding and the hum of the cooling oven.
“You’re being weirdly quiet.” You blurt, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. “I, uh, I mean that isn’t a bad thing! I don’t mind… I just, uh, was… sorry, never mind…”
“Well I did come wit’ a bit of an ulterior motive…” Johnny admits, glancing off to the side shyly. It’s a show, you think. Johnny doesn’t seem the type of man to have felt shy a day in his life.
You tilt your head. “Oh?”
He dusts off his hands and grins. “Let us take ye out! In celebration of yer first full month.”
Has it been a month already? “Oh - no, no you don’t have to-“
“C’mon! It’s a big accomplishment.” His smile is so bright that you almost believe his idea that you’ve done something great.
“…alright.” You give a tentative smile. It’s hard to believe they like you enough to want to hang out casually in the evening. Hard to imagine anyone liking you that much but you’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“There’s a pub down the street - the one on the corner. Want tae meet us there around six?” Johnny gives you that lovely smile. How could you ever say no to a smile like that?
“Okay.”
You spend far too long changing in and out of clothes and fussing with your hair. Up-do’s and buns and braids. A tank top then a sweater then a t-shirt. There’s no reason to feel this stressed over it. It’s not a date or anything. Besides, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Either way you look like a frumpy dumpling. Eventually you land on jeans and one of your designated ‘going out tops.’ At least it’s a good excuse to wear something other than work clothes or loungewear.
Excitement and anxiety thrum under your skin like electricity as you make your way down the street. You feel painfully nauseous - stopping once or twice just to make sure you aren’t about to throw up for real.
The pub is surprisingly quiet when you enter. Obviously somewhere only real locals hang out - there’s no theme or really any decor in general. Just a bar, some booths and a couple pool tables. You scan the floor a few times, not seeing either Johnny or Simon (not that they would be hard to miss). Eventually you just grab a soda from the bar and slide into one of the booths closer to the back. A quiet spot facing the door where you can easily watch for them.
As time ticks on you begin to grow increasingly nervous. Did you get the time wrong? No, no you triple checked. You even wrote it down in your planner. Your leg begins to bounce furiously, heart nearly beating out of your chest. Did they decide to ditch? You wouldn’t really blame them. They’re way out of your league when it comes to friends. Maybe Johnny had an emergency? Should you call Simon? If he had an emergency it would make sense that they would forget to notice you. What if something really bad happened? What if-
The front door opens and Simon’s wide frame strides through, holding the door for Johnny and Riley to come in behind him. You let out a quiet sigh of relief, willing your leg to stop bouncing with a pinch to your thigh. Why are you always so damn dramatic?
Johnny lights up with an ear to ear grin when he spots you, bee-lining for the booth while Simon casually walks up to the bar. It’s almost comedic, the way he dwarfs the counter. Johnny leans on the side of the booth, waiting for Simon, you think.
“Glad ye could come out.” He looks you over, eyes flicking from your plain top to the very practical, not at all stylish up do that you landed on for the evening.
You do your best not to squirm under his gaze. “Me too…”
Simon comes back with two beers in hand and slides them onto the table. He scoots into the inner booth to give Johnny the outer edge. Riley happily sits beside his leg and practically grins at you in a near mirror image of Johnny’s. You’d never do it while she’s on the job, of course, but part of you wants to give her a pat on the head and coo at her for being so polite.
Johnny gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry we were a bit late-”
“Johnny redid his hair about five times.” Simon butts in, not reacting at all to Johnny’s sputtering protest. He glances at your half-drunk soda. “Want me t’ grab you a beer?”
“Oh, no, I’ll just stick to coke.”
They blink at you. Simon cocks his head slightly. “You sure?”
You chew your lip. “Uh, alcohol tends to aggravate my symptoms is all...”
“Then why’d ye agree to drinks? We coulda gone somewhere else.” Johnny frowns.
You shrug. “I don’t mind. I… maybe this is over sharing but I’d rather go out and be kind of normal than just… not ever. Y’know?”
His expression softens. For having such icy blue eyes they are so, so warm. “I get it.”
“How’d you two meet anyway?” You blurt, taking a left turn to get the conversation off of you. It’s the first question that comes to mind. Maybe it’s rude - maybe you’re prying too much already.
“Military.” Simon grunts. “SAS.”
“Si retired wit’ me after I was discharged.” Johnny points to his scar the same way he did when you first met. “Russians scrambled my egg a bit.”
“Couldn’t do the time apart…” Simon murmurs, eyes locked on Johnny’s face. It’s vulnerable. More than he’s used to - you can see it in the way he tenses after saying it.
Something passes between them that a deep, wounded part of you desperately wishes to understand.
You can’t help but start giggling to yourself. They both give you an incredulous look. “Sorry, sorry - it’s just, that’s like… totally a romance book premise. It’s sweet. Really.”
“Och, aye. Wouldn’t know it t’ look at him but Si’s a real romantic.” Johnny bats his eyes at the other man, who just rolls his in response. The corner of his scarred mouth quirks up subtly.
“SAS…” You repeat, staring at your drink. “That’s like Navy Seal shit, right?”
“We worked with them a few times, yes.” Simon nods. There’s an air of ‘do not ask anything more specific’ in his voice.
“Huh.” You take that for what it is and sit back, squinting at them. “You don’t look it, honestly.”
Johnny laughs. “Tha’s just cause ye havennae seen Simon with his gear on. The Ghost.” He wiggles his fingers along as he makes a stupid, spooky sound effect. “I domesticated him.”
Simon scoffs but doesn’t deny it, just takes a quiet sip of his beer.
“Riley’s a vet, too.” Johnny pats her head. “Got too skittish around loud noises but she transitioned into a service dog nicely.”
“Now she’s just spoiled.” Simon rolls his eyes in faux annoyance. You get the strong feeling that he’s the one doing the spoiling.
You find yourself relaxing as the night goes on. Slouching in your seat rather than sitting ramrod straight and nervously twiddling your thumbs. They never press you to drink, never insist that you’ll be fine with just one. They take your statement as fact and it isn’t brought up again. That shouldn’t be as significant as it is, now that you think about it.
Johnny’s words begin to slur a little bit on his fourth, no maybe fifth, beer. You aren’t sure. It’s very cute, the little blush that forms across his cheeks. Simon loosens up, too. He slings an arm around the back of the booth and Johnny readily tucks himself into the open spot. You find yourself wondering about their military career again. You can’t picture either of them committing violence - especially Simon. Sure, he’s big and gruff but he looks at Johnny so, so softly.
Simon is the one to call it a night - though you have a feeling its because you nodded off a couple times. Not out of boredom, you try really, really hard to pay attention to Johnny rambling about the chemistry of different explosives. He makes it interesting, somehow. Really it’s just that you’ve been awake for… holy shit almost twenty hours!
“D’you need a ride?” Simon asks as you exit the pub, hands firmly shoved into his pockets.
“No, I’ll be fine.” You don’t know how to interpret the look he’s giving you. It’s intense, but not annoyed or displeased. He has such a weird knack for unreadable but distinct expressions. You wonder if you’ll ever get close enough to get good at deciphering them.
You jump when Johnny takes both your hands in, kissing the backs of them with a sloppy, drunk smile. “Thank ye fer comin’ out. “
Somehow your face feels hotter than a damn oven. You tuck your hands to your chest, kicking shyly at the sidewalk. “Th-thanks for the invite. We, uh, we could do it again sometime?”
You glance up hopefully, praying that you didn’t misread the situation. You’ve done that before - thought people liked you more than they did. Johnny just grins wider somehow and nods excitedly.
You watch them walk off in the other direction, hand in hand. Johnny giggles about something loudly and you can see Simon’s shoulders shake with a far more silent laugh. All the way until they disappear down the street.
The sheer amount that the image hurts your heart makes you feel evil.
~~~
The pub changed something. What, you don’t know. Either way, you fall into an easy pattern with Johnny and Simon over the next couple weeks. Exchanges of food, leftovers or morsels about to turn, little visits back and forth between your shops. Johnny continues to stop by after close, just hanging around with you while Simon closes up shop.
You can’t deny how much you look forward to hearing that door chime followed by a too-loud greeting from Johnny. How your heart flips in your chest when those bright blue eyes peek around the corner into the back room or light up while trying a new recipes you’ve been testing. You’re still a bit awkward - unsure how to react when he throws an arm around your shoulders or listens oh so intently while you talk about nothing important.
Things can’t ever be all sunshine and rainbows, though. Not for you. A new problem has arisen as summer truly sets in - the comfortable spring breezes giving way to nothing but bright, unfiltered sun. One you didn’t expect to impact you this much living this far north.
Heat.
It’s hard to breathe in the back room while you’re baking. Hard to keep your water and salt intake high enough to compensate for how fast you lose them. You might as well get a permanent saline drip attached to you at this point. You definitely didn’t google if that was physically possible. Your budget for liquid IVs and other supplements nearly doubles. Standing over the massive oven in the back room has your head swimming a few times. You end up resting longer on your weekends, unable to keep up like you could in cooler weather.
It’s okay, you tell yourself, the summer here isn’t like back home. It will pass quicker. Plus, you at least have methods of dealing with it now other than crossing your fingers and praying.
“Bonnie!” Johnny suddenly appears in your doorway - that charming smile splitting his face from ear to ear. “Ye made it up Main Street yet?”
“No?” You tilt your head and try to ignore the way your vision spots momentarily at the motion. “Why?”
“Ye dinnae hear about the summer festival?” He leans on your counter. You shake your head. “It’s a yearly thing. Not that big a deal but they have some fun games an’ it’s nice tae see everyone out an’ about. Si an’ I are about tae head down. Come wit’?”
You hesitate. The exhaustion in your body tugs at your spine. Your limbs feel heavy. This morning really got to you - out of towners who must have come for the festival flooded your shop the moment it opened on top of your Saturday regulars. Not that you’re complaining, really. It’s easily your best day so far. You want to go with them, though, despite the ache in your back and the sting in your joints. It sounds so fun and it’s never a bad idea to take part in your new community’s festivities.
“Yeah. That sounds nice.” You smile. You can tough it out for an hour, then come back home. Yeah, just an hour. You’ll be fine.
You hadn’t noticed Simon leaned up at the entrance to your shop. Your eyes lock on his arms. This is the first time you’ve actually seen him in short sleeves. You can’t help but stare at his half-sleeve tattoo - all skulls and bombs and other military motifs. Faded and sun worn. Yeah, if you’d seen that sooner you definitely would have picked up on the whole military thing. You bite your lip to keep from snickering about it.
You can hear the music drifting from the speakers down the street. A few kids run by with balloons and cheap carnival prizes. It almost reminds you of the Spring Fling back home, just missing the extreme American flag theming across every booth and vendor front. Now that you’re looking around, you can actually see several booths that have been sponsored by various businesses in the area. Even the post office has a snow cone stand. The deeper you get into the event, the more flamboyant the decor becomes. Multicolored streamers and pennet flags connect stands, creating an almost canopy effect.
Simon stops rather abruptly at a booth, waiting behind a few teenagers tossing rings onto bottles. You stop with Johnny about two feet away. What’s he thinking? Simon doesn’t seem like the type who would be too entertained by basic carnival games. Even so, he steps forward and passes over a couple bills to the vendor as soon as the teenagers leave.
“Si’s really good at these. Watch.” Johnny grins beside you.
“Aren’t they rigged?” You raise an eyebrow.
Johnny doesn’t answer, eyes locked on his husband as he lines up one of the rings. You have to lean slightly to see around the breadth of the man - the multicolor rings almost cartoonishly small in his hands. Cute. Your eyes get impossibly wide with each toss, every single one landing comfortably on the bottle necks as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. As if this isn’t one of the most commonly rigged carnival games.
“Holy shit…” You mutter, still staring.
“Aye, tha’s a SAS sniper for ye.” Johnny laughs. “Glad tae see it still comes in handy.”
Simon huffs out a quiet laugh at that. Almost more of a sigh if it weren’t for the shaking of his shoulders. You love it - their little dynamic. The bond between them that’s so strong it’s almost visible.
“‘ere.” Simon turns to you suddenly, holding out a cheap little carnival prize. You can’t even begin to decipher what it’s supposed to be - some sort of furry puff ball with big, embroidered anime eyes and two felt antennae sticking up out of it’s purple head… body… thing…
Your face heats. “F-, uh, me?”
He shrugs. “Suits you. Riley will just chew it up if we take it home.”
“Aye. She’s so good with everythin’ but cheap plushies.” Johnny snickers.
You glance down at the dog in question - her dark eyes glued to the toy in Simon’s hand. Her tail thumps against the ground where she sists dutifully, but you can see the desire to snatch the thing away in her twitchy ears and pleading eyes. You snort, taking the stupid thing and tucking it under your arm with the prayer that they don’t notice the heat now spreading from your cheeks to your ears.
“Thanks…” you murmur, already mentally deciding where to add it to the mess of stuffies covering your bed already.
Somehow you end up walking between them down the street - Simon on your left and Johnny on your right with Riley in tow. You stop at a few other games here and there. All pretty basic. Johnny absolutely kills at the dunk booth.
Simon tires his hardest to help you with your terrible aim, “Just visualize it. Y’have t’ account for the arc.”
You get to the point of sticking your tongue out in concentration. Even so you only manage to knock down a couple of the wooden ducks at the ‘Dunk-A-Duck’ stand. You do, however, win one of those rock candy sticks at the guessing booth. You just hand it off to Johnny. It’s probably not best to load up on sugar in your current state.
Johnny excitedly points to different buildings giving you a rundown of the history of his hometown as you walk. Simon seems to barely be listening. He’s probably heard this a thousand times. Prattling on about the old town square, the church bell that a bunch of teenagers spray painted one time (Johnny was not involved, how could you accuse him of that?)
You find yourself focusing on your feet - keeping each step even and fast enough to remain on pace with them. One, two, one, two, one, two. The air begins to thicken. Muggy and heavy on your skin. Your breaths become shallow and fast. You can’t catch it, the air seeming to get stuck in your throat rather than reaching your lungs. Spots begin to dance across your vision. You stumble over nothing.
Not now! Come on! You’ve been doing so well!
Riley presses against your leg acting as a counter weight. Your body moves on instinct to grab whatever you can - hands wrapping around something strong and covered with cloth. An arm solid as rebar. Hopefully it’s someone you know. All you can see are colorless shapes.
“Gonna pass out - don’t freak!” You gasp before your legs give out.
It’s not that you go entirely out - it’s rare that you fully black out. It’s more like being stuck. Limp and fuzzy and confused. Almost like sleep paralysis. There’s voices and people moving around you. Someone has picked you up, you think, based on the swaying motion and the passing shapes around you. Maybe that’s just vertigo. A door bell chimes.
You finally begin to really come to when something icy is pressed to your forehead. It couldn’t have been more than a handful of seconds that you were gone, but it takes much longer for the world around you to come back into focus.
“I’m sorry…” You murmur, eyes stinging. Even after all these years it’s so damn embarrassing. You blink, the distinct mural that decorates the ceiling of the post office slowly coming into view. Johnny said a big time traveling artist painted it back in the nineties.
“Ye alright?” Johnny murmurs, crouched down beside you. Riley sniffs at your hand, seeming satisfied when you finally move it on your own.
You nod slowly. “Overheated…”
“Give her this.” Someone says. An event medic, you think. The boys must have flagged them down. Fingers press to your pulse point, a light shines in your eyes and you follow it. A quick check of vitals. Johnny shoves a water bottle in your hand as soon as the medic decides you’re fine to move - the contents distinctly murky from some sort of electrolyte pack that’s been shaken into it.
“Up y’get. Slowly does it.” Simon helps you sit up with a hand on your back. It’s so gentle. You don’t miss how he cages in your body the way only someone intimately familiar with caretaking might. Fully ready to catch you if you go limp again.
You sip slow, eyes glued to the ground. You feel so fucking stupid. Can’t even walk down a street without creating some sort of scene. They’re never going to want to hang out with you again, are they? You can’t go out drinking, can’t walk around a festival for longer than a couple hours. You distracted Riley. What if something happened to Johnny while you were having your spell? She might not have alerted correctly because of you. She might have gotten confused and then he could have gotten hurt. He might have-
“Ye really should drink tha’ instead of glarin’ at it.” Johnny pulls you from your thoughts. He’s now sat with his legs crossed beside you. Riley’s head rests in his lap. She seems calm. Content now that the emergency is over and happily lying on a cool floor.
You hum, chugging the last bit of it quickly. “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be.” Simon says curtly. “Does this ‘appen often?”
You shrug. “Not as much anymore… usually my medication keeps me stable.”
“Do ye need a doctor?” Johnny tilts his head slightly. There’s no judgment in his tone - in either of their tones. Just calm concern. It probably shouldn’t make you want to cry as much as it does.
You shake your head. “I’ve got liquid IV at home. Just need to sleep it off.”
Hopefully. In reality, a pain flare up is inevitable now. You just won’t know how bad until you’re fully in it.
“Let’s get ye home.” Johnny says, knees popping as he stands.
“I-I’m fine!” You insist, mentally preparing to get yourself up off the floor. “I can get home on my own - I don’t want to ruin your time.”
Johnny levels his gaze onto you, so serious it almost looks angry. It doesn’t match his face. “We’re not leavin’ ye tae get home alone like this.”
You’re caught off guard when an arm slides under your back and another under knees - lifting you like you weigh half of what you do in reality. Like you’re a paperweight instead of a boulder. You blink up at Simon, far too surprised to be embarrassed. At least at first. You splutter out a poor attempt at convincing him to put you down. Excuse and reason after reason and excuse. They roll off him like water off a ducks back. Your face burns as he steps out of the post office with you neatly tucked against his chest - Johnny and Riley in tow.
If you allow yourself to be honest, to give into that weaker part of you (or, at least, the part you consider to be weak) you could possibly admit that this feels nice. Being cared for feels nice. Having your body up against someone else feels nice. It’s been a long time since anyone touched you outside of a polite handshake or accidental bump. You sink into it despite yourself - relaxing against Simon’s chest. They were right, you wouldn’t have made it back. Your head is too fuzzy and there’s that telltale pain in your shoulders radiating up to your neck that signifies an oncoming Bed Day.
It doesn’t take long with Simon’s lengthy strides to get back to your building. You probably wouldn’t have been able to keep up to that running. Well, you can’t really run much at all so you definitely wouldn’t. A stupid, muddled train of thought that melts into the hazy bog of your current mental state. Even Johnny trails a few feet behind. Neither of them speak, marching in determined silence. You attempt to subtly check their faces for any anger. You’d understand if they were angry. Most people would get angry. You interrupted their day out with your useless drama. All you get is a wide, bright grin from Johnny when your eyes eventually meet his.
Simon puts you down with all the care in the world. As if you’re made of fine china. His hand stays on your upper back - planted firmly between your shoulder blades and ready to catch you if need be. Your vision swims a bit, your joints feel like jelly but you manage to dig your keys out of your pocket and unlock the door.
“Here.” Johnny plops the puff ball back into your hands just as you turn to say goodbye. To say thank you - to apologize profusely.
Your brows raise. You completely forgot about it while swimming around in a sea of embarrassment - he must have picked it up for you. You hug it to your chest with a quiet, “Thanks.”
You shift your weight side to side, psyching yourself up for the crawl up the stairs. Probably literally. You don’t think you could stay upright if you tried to walk them like a regular day, or even with an aid. Like a regular or semi-regular person. Fuck.
Johnny follows your eyes up at the staircase. He must sense some hesitation in you. “Do ye need help up?”
You bite your lip, staring at the ground. Standing in one place seems alright, but the thought of climbing is so daunting, even with the cane you have stationed at the bottom of the steps for that exact purpose. It’s embarrassing. You’re young, you should be able to walk up some damn stairs. It isn’t even that many. It’s barely a full flight. Just one story of stairs for fuck’s sake.
“Hey.” Simon touches your cheek, the action snapping your eyes to his in surprise. “It’s okay. C’mere.”
He picks you up again in the same fashion with barely a grunt, taking his time up the steps so as not to jostle you. How many times has he done this with Johnny? you wonder. That’s the only explanation for how good he is at keeping your equilibrium so even. You wonder if he practiced - if he took caretaking classes. He probably did. Does he keep up at the gym just so he can take care of his husband? Simon might be quiet and a little formal, but he exudes dedication.
“Sorry it’s messy…” You murmur when they reach the top of the steps. Glancing behind you, you see Riley sitting patiently at the bottom. Johnny must have told her to stay. “Haven’t gotten to fully unpack…”
You’ve been spending too much time in bed on the weekends. Fucking lazy.
Johnny just laughs. “Ye shoulda seen the first place Simon an’ I had.”
“Wasn’t that bad.” Simon argues, carefully setting you down on the couch. His hands hold your waist to steady you. They’re so warm… It feels wrong to be disappointed when he lets go.
“We hadnae figured out a system yet.” Johnny huffs, hands on his hips. “We ended up hirin’ a specialized maid service the dishes got so backed up.”
You scoff, laying back against the couch with that stupid carnival prize still in your arms. Like it’s the only thing grounding you to reality. The tears that have been stinging your eyes this entire time continue to threaten to spill - a myriad of blinks and careful breaths the only thing keeping them back.
Johnny sits beside you slowly. You can’t meet his eyes. “Do… do ye want tae tell us what it is? Ye donnae have tae - it’s up tae ye. Just if somethin’ happens again…”
“We’d like to be prepared.” Simon jumps in where Johnny trails off.
You chew your lip, still staring up at the ceiling. It splits and that coppery taste coats your tongue for a moment. “I, uh, it’s called POTS. There’s different types but basically my body can’t regulate blood flow and pressure right…” You shrug. “Like I said my medication usually keeps me mostly okay.”
It’s the pain that really gets to you usually, but you don’t need to start dumping on them about that. There’s no reason to spill your guts about things they can’t fix.
“Thanks fer tellin’ us.” Johnny smiles. You stiffen slightly when he reaches out to tuck some hair behind your ear. You tilt your head, still resting on the back of the couch, to meet his eye. “Get some rest, yeah? We’ll lock the knob behind us. Call if ye need anythin’.”
“Okay.” You nod, keeping your eyes down and picking at your nails. “Sorry… about all this… I didn’t - I don’t… I’m sorry.”
“Donnae apologize.” He says softly as he stands. “Never apologize. We’re your friends, aye? Friends help friends. Tha’s all there is to it.”
Simon gives you a discerning nod behind him, expression both soft and deeply serious.
Friends? They consider you real life proper friends? Really? You can’t help but beam up at him. “Yeah.”
A/N: I’ve re-read this chapter so many times that it’s total mush in my brain which tells me it’s time to be done with it.
Bonus: I made a Pinterest board for this fic
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SPOILERS FOR ROGUE
I usually do "live reactions but make it Theo" on quotev when it's smth I've been looking forward to, so I did it for Rogue. Because Activity is still there and I plan on enjoying it for as long as possible.
so here are the highlights from Rogue's reaction last night!
"DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN WEE WOOOOOOO WOO WEE WOOOOOOOOOO"
"LMFAO IS THAT BAD GUY (BRIDGERTON'S VERSION) OR SOME SHIT"
"m u r d e r"
"welp ok as first dates go I'd say that was disastrous, but hey, you've still got 33 minutes to sort yourselves!"
"THEY BETTER FUCKING SNOG WITHIN THE NEXT 33 MINS"
"I'M JUST SAYING RIGHT WE'VE GOT TWO GAY ACTORS, ONE IS A CANON GAY CHARACTER AND LITERALLY JUST CALLED THE OTHER ONE HANDSOME, AND THE OTHER ONE IS PLAYED BY JONATHON GROFF SO THEY'RE GONNA FUCKING SNOG OR ELSE"
"omg THAT is a spaceship. he's living it. he's a queer (to be confirmed) bounty hunter, who has a MASSIVE INVISIBLE SPACESHIP???? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP"
"THE DOCTOR CALLED ROGUE "BABY" I REPEAT THE DOCTOR CALLED ROGUE "BABY""
"I've been shipping these two since the casting announcement, DO NOT FAIL ME NOW DOCTOR WHO"
"MY NAME'S BOND. MOLECULAR BOND"
"the doctor's fucking grinding to Kylie while pissing off his crush. living my life ngl"
"THE PSYCHIC PAPER DID THE JACK THING IT DID THE JACK THING IT CALLED ROGUE HOT AND ROGUE STRAIGHT UP FLIRTED BACK OHMYGOD KISS NOWWWW"
"Uhm so did Rogue really think the Doctor was taking him to a SHED????? TO DO WHAT, ROGUE??????"
"SORRY WHAT"
""I'M IN LOVE"?????"
"THE DOCTOR'S FACE L M F A OOOO"
"fuck he's only in love with the TARDIS (you'll get there honey dw)"
"OHHH ROGUE DARLING YOU JEALOUS????"
"THEY'RE DOING THE RUN AWAY WITH ME CONVERSATION AND WE'RE NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE I THINK I'M GONNA BE CRYING AT THE END OF THIS AND IT'S WRITTEN BY KATE AS WELL OH SHIT"
"THEY WERE ABOUT TO FUCKING KISS AND THE FUCKING TARDIS BEEPED BECAUSE THE FUCKING TRAP WAS READY SO THEY DIDN'T KISS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK"
"OH GOD THE'\RE DANCING THEY'RE DANCING THEY'RE DANCING AND THE DOCTOR IS TEACHING HIM ABT COSPLAY AND ROGUE IS LOOKING AT HIM LIKE HE HAS THE UNIVERSE ON A PLATE JUST FOR HIM AND MY HEART IS SO FULL RN"
"USING THE POWER OF GAY SCANDAL TO BRING DOWN THE EVIL PEOPLE"
"THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS CINEMATOGRAPHYING THEY'VE TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS AND THEY'RE NOT MOVING THEIR EYES OFF EACH OTHER AND WE'VE GOT A PANNING CAMERA AND ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE GONE AND IT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC SHIT EVER, MY FANFICTION DRIVEN HEART CANNOT HANDLE THIS"
"they're fucking cosplaying gay Bridgeton to save the universe THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN MISSING MY WHOLE LIFE"
"MARRIAGE PROPOSAL HUH"
"THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND RUNNING AHHHHHHH"
"YOU HAVE 17 MINUTES TO SNOG GUYS CMONNNN"
"zizz"
"when (if) they snog, there had better be a romantic build up, and setting, and GREAT FUCKING MUSIC alright????????????? YOU HEAR ME KATE??????"
"NOOOOOO EMILY'S A SHAPESHIFER THEY WERE GONNA BE A CUTE COUPLE BUT IT'S ALL MURDER AND IDENTITY THEFT NOW :(((("
"RUBY NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS NOT AGAIN STOP FUCKING DYING"
"THIS IS WHAT THE THIRD TIME YOU'VE DIED SO FAR???????? FOURTH????????? STOP"
"OH MY DEAREST TIME LORD VICTORIOUS, I HAVE MISSED YOU"
"oh she's fine she just dance battled to Poker Face (Bridgerton's Version)"
"NO BECAUSE NOW HE HAS TO CHOOSE OH SHITTT DOCTOR YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS"
"THEY KISSED WITH THE FRAME AND THE MUSIC AND THE CAMERA ANGLE AND THERE ARE TEARS OH GODDD"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S THE MOST DEVASTATING SHIT I'VE SEEN SINCE CHILDREN OF EARTH OH MY GOD I CANNOT, KATE HERRON YOU EVIL GENIUS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO THEY CAN'T BE TOGETHER ANYMORE HE'S GONE HE'S ACTUALLY GONE AND THEY KISSED AND HE GAVE HIM FLOWERS AND HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO THAT THE DOCTOR WOULD BE HAPPY WITH RUBY AND OH MY GOD NO WHY WHY WHYYY"
"he
left
the
flowers
on
the
floor
where
rogue
left I'm not ok"
"KATE HERRON, WHEN I FIND YOU KATE HERRON"
"he's wearing the ringggg"
"THE SALUTE HOLY-"
"THAT WAS TOO MUCH FOR MY LITTLE GAY HEART TO HANDLE"
"Rogue is everything to me I fear"
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analysis and excitement time!! tottmnt style! spoilers for the new trailer and me picking it apart 😋 ☆
i’m not exactly trying to figure everything out, even though i have theories and lots of analysis in my noggin about the who, why, what, when, and where (especially in regards to their location when seperated.)
i’m mostly just going to cover: what the turtles are going through, what’s going on with the krang/Cynthia Utrom/Bishop, and any easter eggs or potential characters we see.
let’s start off with Bishop! cuz oh my god, if they’re going to be the first opponent the turtles face, i can’t imagine the lead up to shredder.
im used to Bishop being a super climactic, build-up to the big bad thing that’s going to happen kinda character, so i’m kind of surprised to see them being used first. especially as an immediate villain!
the FIRST thing that catches my eye is the robot-cams on the turtles, presumably when they’re separated, and the big screen telling Bishop to ‘RETURN TO BASE’ — i have theories about their tie to Cynthia Utrom, but we know Bishop was a rebellious character against the utrom/krang throughout other gens so i don’t think it’s telling them to return to Utrom— unless they’ve freshly gone rogue to try to stop Cynthia’s plans (hence why they wanna get rid of mutants.)
the robots Bishop uses remind me heavily of ROTTMNT.. especially that one on the left! we see more being possibly made to the right, and that kind of clues me into it being a factory of sorts.
we also see them take over the city moments after their reveal!
the turtles look like they’re all back together and donned in robot parts. Raph is wearing a faux wrestler’s padding, Leo in some sort of samurai get-up, Donnie in a cyborg cosplay, and i’m not entirely sure what Mikey’s trying to look like, other than ‘i’m gonna beat your ass.’
this kind of reminds me of Shredder! maybe it’s just the metal, sharper weapons, and the way Raph’s holding his dual sai..
i don’t think we get enough turtles in armor at all. in 2012 we barely got to see their noir armor when fighting the shredder, and imo it was super hardcore!! so i’m happy to find that they’ve added this to TOTTMNT.
time to analyze what is happening to our fave terrapins!!
what we know: they’ve all been transported to different locations/dimensions, they’ve been separated, and know that they can find each other.
let’s start with mikey’s situation, since we’re introduced to it from the beginning of the trailer via voice-over.
my idea is that he’s been transported somewhere in the future, and he’s with some scientist that knows them all by name— and gimmick. he tried to recreate a mutant, and that’s why we see a Pigeon Pete look alike.
besides that, he rags on Mikey for not having a ‘thing’ like his brothers while following him around. (people r always underestimating him — even in-show.. cannot catch a break i swear) i’m not sure if this rando has a destination, but it looks like Mikey does!!
we also see Raph with the purple dragons, and a MOTORCYCLE!! i MISSED motorcycle Raph so bad.
He is also shown in a barn with two other characters in a seperate trailer, but I have no idea who those guys could be.
Raph seems less concerned with finding each brother unlike Donnie.
Donnie opens up with a ‘I have to find my brothers, I have to save them!’ which is SUPER. cool TO ME. we got such little protective Donnie in other gens and i’m super excited to see his stress level rise in TOTTMNT.
it looks like he’s forced to un-hack what Bishop’s done to New York’s devices (unsure if this is all devices, or just all important systems like train stations and billboards/adverts.)
ALL while there’s robots after him. UGH. i can’t wait to write major angst about this kid.
unfortunately, for me at least, we see the least of Leonardo.
what we DO see of him is mostly combat, and quips. i’m super humored by the failed confidence which is a super different from most Leo’s!! (2012 Leo hero-quipping because he wants to be one, Rise Leo passing the charisma check 24/7, and 2003 Leo not really giving af as much so he just sounds dorky and cool whenever.) he looks like he’s fighting multiple robots in different areas, unlike Donnie who we only see in a train station, and Raph we see fighting multiple things (people and robots.)
i hope he gets to have as many badass moments as Donnie and Raph seem to have, because i’m afraid of him turning into ‘generic leader personality’ SO BAD. i dont think he will, but i’m not ready for him to be pushed aside during fights like how Mikey and Donnie was in 2012 at first, just so he can be the main star in relationship issues and stuff.. BUT i do think we will get a huge chunk of ‘i can’t do this without my brothers’ angst!!
we also get a glimpse of April and Leo interaction which i was the MOST scared of!! it looks like it takes place in a different episode than the Bishop one, along with the trailer where they’re all in halloween costumes (or party costumes???)
i cannot wait for this little party mix up. it’s super teenagery sounding and i always wanted more teenage, slice of life-ish (i don’t think we will ever get a filler without some slicing and dicing) episodes in tmnt!!
anyways. thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far! tottmnt seems a bit more childish than past gens but i’m sorta excited for it!! august 9th here we come ^_^
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Ex's and Oh's: Part Two
Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known; Minor Character Death; Magical Realism; We Make War Not Love; Post-Divorce; These Two Fools in Love; Klaus and Caroline Being Territorial; for each other; tyler is dead; kind of; Canon-Typical Violence; Violence; Murder; Werewolf!Klaus; Human!Caroline
Caroline's return to New Orleans is a little less triumphant than she'd like. There is a dead body in her trunk and a magical artifact in her passenger seat, and no matter how much she'd like too, the chances of avoiding her ex-husband are astronomically small. What, with the mate bond and all, but a girl's gotta hope.
“Caroline, why are we here?” Bonnie asked as she looked around at the familiar bar they’d once visited regularly before. Before.
Caroline looked up from her pile of beer battered fries. “I missed you?”
Bonnie gave her a look. “I missed you too, but I expected this chat to happen like, three days from now. You know, once you settled in and actually had the time to try that thing most of us do called communicating with your ex.”
“We should definitely go out again soon,” Caroline agreed with a nod. “This time with cocktails instead of beer, maybe during that dinner you could give me a list of who these mythical ex’s of yours are that you’d willing talk to. I only have the Curse on Sight bullet point list saved to my phone.”
“Caroline,” Bonnie said in fond exasperation. “You know what I mean. When you called and asked for your boxes, I was expecting to play delivery girl, not go out for an impromptu dinner. Please tell me you’re not doing this to avoid Klaus.”
“Hey,” Caroline protested as she gestured towards her food. “I’m hungry, and being hangry cannot improve this situation on any level.”
“Sure,” Bonnie drawled, “but there is no way you can convince me Klaus doesn’t have food in his house. I know how many calories werewolves consume in a day and it’s a lot.”
“He might have a house full of food, but there was nothing to eat.” Nothing she wanted. Not a single emergency bag of Doritos, no chocolate bars tucked away on a shelf, no decent cheese. The freezer hadn’t even contained a quart of emergency ice cream. She wanted to eat her feelings, and Bonnie was lucky she’d agreed to actual food instead of eating her weight in pie.
“Fine, I’ll give you that,” Bonnie allowed. “I’m not saying you owe him anything, but did you at least tell him you were going out?”
“Klaus,” Caroline said with false cheer. “Wasn’t there when I woke up, so I decided he didn’t get an opinion.”
Bonnie groaned and covered her eyes. “Haven’t you had enough rampaging werewolves today?”
“Eh,” Caroline said dismissively. “This morning was hardly a rampage, and you know it. Besides, torturing Tyler is absolutely a form of stress relief. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Probably. Bonnie was right, it would definitely piss him off that she’d left, and what she’d left him would not improve the situation. Dunking a fry into her pile of ketchup, she wrestled with the truth that she wasn’t in a mood yet to improve things.
I know a war when I see one.
Those words had haunted her as she’d fallen asleep, and had resonated in her chest when she’d woken. This felt like a war. Her own personal fight for something she wanted so badly she’d buried it under the ash and smoke of her temper, the scorched earth of her hurt. Wanted so badly and yet, no idea how to move past that anger.
Bonnie made a noise. “I knew we should have gone to Marcel’s.”
Her jaw clenched so hard, Caroline thought she could hear her teeth grinding. “No pack.”
“You can’t avoid them forever.” The words were said carefully, her best friend far too aware of that sore-point.
“Oh, I won’t,” Caroline said, flashing her teeth. “I really, really won’t.”
Thoughtfully, Bonnie relented enough to pick up her own fry. “What did Klaus tell you before he went off torture Tyler’s remains?”
Caroline shrugged. “He’s made changes, he’s the almighty ruler who rules with an iron fist, murder murder, the usual.”
I miss you.
She missed him.
Muttering something pithy, Bonnie pulled out a small bundle of herbs and dumped them on a convenient plate between them. A moment later, the familiar scent of burning sage brought a deluge of memories of ten years ago, and Caroline swallowed past the unexpected lump in her throat.
How often had she and Bonnie sat in this booth with sage burning between them, tipsy from cocktails? How many burgers had been consumed in the name of girl’s night? How often had she wished she could do this again as she sat alone in a random diner, eating pie and rapidly texting the second most important person in her life?
“Caroline,” Bonnie huffed. “You know people are straining to hear every word you say. People have been staring for the last ten minutes, there is no way the locals aren’t already gossiping.” Pointedly she glared at someone over Caroline’s shoulder.
“Nothing I said so far should be a surprise, they’ve all lived with his ego as long as I have.” Caroline said, emphasizing her words with the jab of a french fry.
Bonnie made a face in silent agreement. “I am absolutely not on team Klaus, but this separation hasn’t been easy for either of you.”
Caroline looked away for a moment, because she didn’t know how to explain the tangle in her chest, the way it’d felt like a fist when she’d woken alone in a bed that smelled just like her best dreams. Tired, bruises stiff and aching, she wanted him there and she was mad he wasn’t, and she was mad at herself for being mad about it. Showering had required that she clench her hands into fists not to sniff test everything in the shower, wanting his scent in her lungs.
“I know.” Her lips flattened. “I don’t know how to do easy anymore, Bonnie.”
“When have you ever?”
Caroline reluctantly smiled. “Klaus and I… we didn’t really have a lot of time to talk before he had to leave.” She would have been mad about that, that he’d disappeared so soon after the first time they’d seen each other in years, but she was firmly anti-zombie, so she had decided to be gracious about it. She just wasn’t sure what to do about the rest of it. What they had said. Their conversation had felt too personal, too raw to repeat out loud. “He wants me to stay.”
“Oh, he definitely wants more than that,” Bonnie muttered.
A03: Part 2
Please remember all my fanfic has been locked due to AI Bots scraping A03.
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